The Basement Yard - #210 - Run Danny Run
Episode Date: October 7, 2019On this episode we discuss if Danny can run a sub 10 minute mile, yeah ok pal. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome back to the basement yard. How you doing Danny? What's up, man?
I know Danny almost threw up like five times before we just started recording. I have a belly ache
Why'd you say that like a four-year-old? I don't know. Yeah, you also look like one of those old catchers right now
Oh, wait, hold up
See
Throw it in there. Yeah, that's what you look like one of those old catchers
Yeah, you gotta you gotta dip in or you're in a softball league
Way too serious. Yeah. Yeah, you guys you guys gonna play on Thursday. Yeah, we don't got enough guys
Yeah, you show up. I got an extra glove in my car. I
Would love to play softball though. Oh, I would love to play softball next summer. We'll do softball
It's actually the the official first day of fall. Yeah, is it? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yep
I didn't know that but today's date. It is September 23rd. It is something like that. Yeah, sure and the fall equinox is upon us
What is an equinox? I don't know a gym for rich whites. I know that
Oh, yeah, oh, we're back. Oh, we're back, baby. We're back. We're back. Yeah, so um, how's
We'll skip over that. We'll fix that in post right? Yeah
Yeah, we'll take out all the the white guilt or whatever. Yeah, every time I make a white joke people like oh, you're a fucking snowflake
Pussy. Yeah, every time I make a white joke like you know, you're white, right? And I'm like, uh, yeah
Yeah, that's how it works. Like thanks for figuring that out for me, bud
Yeah, I can only make fun of half of myself, which is like so hard for me to deal with sometimes
What that you're half white and well, I'm half Italian and half Puerto Rican. Yeah, you're a talerican
So it's like a half of my family like is racist towards my other half. You know what I mean?
Yeah, I get pulled in both ways, you know. Yeah, I think it could get tough on yeah
I'm like these goddamn
Yeah, you can't you can't but you can say rich whites. I easily could say rich whites. Yeah, they I don't think they'll complain
They will they always do. Yeah, they do the rich whites. Yeah, they hate it. They do they hate a lot of stuff
Oh, if there's black entertainment television, why can't there be white entertainment? I just don't get it
I hate when people bring shit up. Yeah
Why do they have their own channel because you have a hundred of your own channels? Yeah
It's like the it's like the the straight pride parade. That was one of the funniest things ever. Oh crystallia. Oh, yeah did it on his podcast
I was fucking dying
I mean, that's just that's hysterical. Yeah, that's what he said. All parades are gay, right? Yeah, I mean I grew them
He was talking about the straight pride parade. He's like if you're in a parade you're gay
Yeah, that's true
But yeah, I mean, you know that stuff is ridiculous. It's also I mean it's directly
That's what I'm saying. It's very similar to white people being like, uh
We don't want a white panther. So why is there have to be a black panther? It's like shut up. Yeah
And uh, the other thing is too also a white panther sounds fucking cool. Yeah, that's what I would like to have one
Or at least do a photo shoot with one like a snow leopard or something
That would be hot fire, but they have but they have spots, right? If you're leopard you have spots
Yeah, I don't really know the difference between a jaguar and like a you know, we've panther an alliance
Fucking oh, wait, is it jaguar and a panther like the same tigers live in like the rainforest?
I think this is your and lions live in like the jungle
Wait, I think you got that mixed now lines lines are out there on the savannah. Yeah, that's the jungle dog
No, no, no, is it? Yeah, I mean that's the king of the jungle. So it has to be come on daddy
It is a little jungly. Come on, baby. What'd you sure say?
Oh, it's from zion. Whoa. Did you almost fall off that cliff right there?
Basically, yeah, yeah, that sun looks fucking awful. I would have a stroke of that. This looks very religious
Yeah, it does. It does. That's why I was gravitated towards it. Yeah, honestly, this is very illuminati right now
Yeah, but you know, I got I just not and I'm doing do you believe in the illuminati kind of but I like do you really like think like
Like if people out there like selling their souls and shit. No, I don't think it's any of that
I think selling your soul means like
You know, you just like put up with a bunch like no one talks to the devil directly, right? No
Ew, is that a booger? It just landed on my own nose. That's fire
There's a wrap around like because there was like soul to soul to the devil, but it's not like hey, meet me outside in five minutes
Yeah, no, it's not anybody like let me fucking
Fuck you with this red cock. Yeah
No, no, no, no, I think it's just like, you know, jeffrey eppstein. We all know jeffrey. Yeah, yeah, of course
Very familiar with jeffrey now
Like I think selling your soul like I would consider him part of the illuminati illuminati
I don't think it's like a group. I just think it's like mad rich people who do weird ass shit
But when you get rich enough
You kind of turn a blind eye to it because you're like if I want to stay in this room right now
Then i'm gonna have to like let this do bang kids on his island. Yeah, I think illuminati was like the first cancel culture
Because like if you went against their ways, they'd cancel you. Yeah, but like yeah
Except it was like reverse because they're like, yo, we're banging boy butts
Yeah, so if you're not down to bang boy butts
You'd get the fuck out. Yes. It's reverse cancel culture and we can make you richer because we all have connects
You know, so it's like we'll even give me some money to like maybe not say anything about me doing stuff with my dick
That's what i'm saying. You know, I think that's like the illuminati like that's selling your soul like you sell
In a way your soul when you're like, you know what? I'm not gonna tell anyone that he's uh,
You know fingering boys or anything. Yeah, I'll let that one slide. Yeah, but you know, yeah
That's what happens man. You let a whole bunch of shit slide and then someone has a temple on their fucking
Island and shit
It's weird. Yeah, sure. How was your weekend?
It was all right. How was yours? It was good. Shit my pants though
Like what kind of what kind of like law you logged it
I didn't log it but uh, it was like, uh, you know when sprayed you know when the when the beach
Reaches like the top of the peak it starts bringing stuff back like the wave that comes up the beach
Yeah, you know and then you know when it comes like a little bit higher like the second time
That's what it looked like in my pants like like like
slightly wet sand
You had a sandy poop. I had a sandy poop. Yeah, you sanded it up. It was liquidized poop
Okay, yeah, so I was at Madison Square Garden and I was I had to poop during the second period of ranger game
Why didn't you just go because uh, oh you tried to slip out of fart and then oopsie. Yeah, yeah
Yeah, it's snuck up on me. Oh the poop snuck up
Well the fart snuck up like the bro that feeling snuck up on me because it went from enjoying the game to having the shit
Very badly and you can't do both those. No, no, you can't enjoy things and have to shit doesn't work like that
So I was like, all right. I gotta go
So i'm walking back to the bathroom
And I take one step and shit just releases from my asshole
So you lost all control if you're like ain't yeah, I didn't fart it out. I didn't do any of that
I took one. It was just so the whole the whole
The whole show
Popped out. Yeah, it wasn't like uh, you caught like a little bit of it and you like, you know
You clenched with all your might. No, man. I shit my fucking pants. Yeah, like you let it all go
You know like uh, you throw your pants out. What was that game where you would have to connect those like, uh
you would have to connect
Like pieces of a pipe to get the water all the way to the other side. Do you remember that? Yeah, I don't know what it's called
Let's just say that's what happened and then the whole thing and then I yeah
Yeah, I shit my pants and then I felt a little bit of it trickled down my leg
Did you really just a little bit not a lot
So, I mean it was a very watery shit because before the game I was in the suite and I was
Eating lots of free food, which I enjoy. Yeah free and food go together. I love them both
Yeah, so I was doing that and I was enjoying it, but I think I ate too many chicken nuggets
I mean, oh, they had chicken nuggets. Yeah. Yeah chicken fingers too like long ones. Wait, they had nugs
I've never been there and there's been nuggets. Yeah, they were fantastic too. Then I ate a hot dog
That'll hot dog will put some fucking. Yeah, that'll put some shit sweats in you
So I was like, okay, I'm trying to do this now. Let me eat all this because I don't want to eat later
Like it was around dinner time. So the game started seven. I was like, let me eat all this food at 6 50
Yeah, so I don't eat, you know what I'm saying because I have to go I'm on a new diet now
Which I'll talk about later, but what so it involves hot dogs
No, it just involved eating as much as possible before I had to be a normal person and not eat anymore
I think that's a recipe for a wet disaster. Yeah. Yeah, so
So I was walking back on a shit my pants
So, you know how far from the bathroom were you when you know?
So
Goodbye underwear. I would say about 90 paces 90 paces. Yeah 90 paces
90 paces are like 45 meters. Maybe it was like in sight
It was around the corner
It was up my button around the corner basically, right? So but you're you knew I'm close
Yeah, in your body was like thank god, but like when it said thank god it let all that out
Yeah, it's like when you're trying not to come during sex, but you know, you're gonna come dude
You know, but and then in your head you're like fucking. I'm just gonna come. Yeah at this point
I was just like I'm I'm just gonna shit my pants like I can't do it
I can't make it so all that butt come came out. Yeah, because I wasn't in a position where I could have ran to the bathroom
You know what I mean? I would have been also
I don't know how people run to anywhere for the bathroom
I know it's weird if I got a shit and I start running like now. I'm just like
Slicing it up and making it smaller. It's gonna just squeak out. I don't even know. It's like when oils on top of water
Yeah, they're just doing that thing. That's what it would be like and for me
I was like, yo, please let me get back to the bathroom
But once I'm in that magical step, which somehow just unlocked my asshole. Yeah
Yeah, there was just like a perfect symmetry of the leg and body
It was probably something to do with like the magnetic force in that space
Yeah, and I had this perfect alignment going so like it just caused me to shit
Right. Like, you know the periods of Giza, they're like lined up with the stars or something
You probably stepped on your spot
Like if you go back there right now without having to shit and you step in that spot, you probably poop again
Yeah, I think so that was like a perfect shit plant
Like whatever I planted in my foot was where I needed to shit. Yeah, I should have shot there to be honest
Yeah, but I get to the bathroom and I take my pants off, right and not take my pants off to look
I take all of my pants off
My pants are off. How many pants you got? Well, I take my pants
I look in my underwear first and I was like all this duty
So then so then
So so then I
I had to take my pants off. I had to take I took my shoes. I took my shoes off
Did you get on your socks?
No, I didn't get up didn't get down to my socks because I wear like tighter pants
So they got stuck in the pants. Good. Thank god. Yeah. Thank god. You're a trendy man. Yeah, so um, thank god
I am a trendy man. Wait, what color pants were you wearing? Black. Thank god. Oh my god, dude
Did it did if you were wearing like just jeans
It would have looked a little wet maybe but like it wasn't like it looked like someone like
You know when you wash your hands and flick your friend's face. Oh, so there's just there was blood splatter
It was like splattered down because I wear uh, like I wear like compression
Underwear a lot. Okay. You know what I mean? Yeah, hold it. Hold your shit together
Hold my shit together because I got some extra junk. Yeah, you got stuff flowing around. I don't know. Yeah, so I got to keep it tight
Yeah, I'm tight, you know, so I had to do that
And I had to take those off which were impossible because I'm sweating
So I had to roll these shitty underwear off my body
And I had to take my pants off and my shoes off for that
So I was in the bathroom with Madison Square Garden with just my socks on
And no pants. I was winning the pooing hard. Yeah. And
So I cleaned myself up some of it got on my ass cheek. You know that you know that feel oh, yeah
It's spread and then it feels like someone buttered up your fucking crack. That's exactly what it feels like your cheeks are
Just sliding and you're like this if this was like a biscuit it'd be delicious
Yeah, somebody turn my poopy butt somebody turn my ass on to like a pv and jay sandwich
So I'm saying so well you did that. Yeah, I did I did
So I cleaned myself up or whatever, but now I realize
The bathroom that I was using was a private bathroom. Yeah, okay. Oh, there's a line. No, there wasn't a line
There's just nowhere for me to dispose of
This fucking shitty fucking piece of underwear. Yeah
So what I do using my noodle you flushed it. No, no, no, no, I wish I that would have been smarter
That would have been
Dumb. Yeah, I would have flooded the whole place. Yeah, it would have been great. So the toilet that uh, um the trash bin had like
A plastic bag wrapped around a trash bag. So I as they do so I took the trash bag up
I put it underneath
And then replaced it. Oh my god, you left a shitty surprise for the custodian. Yeah. Yeah, okay
And I shit you not no pun intended guess who's right outside the door when I open it the custodian
Yep
You ran out of there. No, I stayed
I stayed why because I didn't know if I was gonna have to shit again. I don't want to go walk all the way back to my seat and have to
shit
So I had I had to do that
I had to do that and he walked out of there and that guy picked up my shitty pampers
and I
I don't know if he knew it was me
He didn't look at me. So I don't know if he maybe just like dumped it into a big bag and like didn't see it
No, man, they they they pull those off. Yeah, they he knows what's up because I'm sure like you've trapped a bunch of smell
You know I'm saying because they tie those like bags
That's what I was worried because I couldn't put it just in the regular fucking trash bin
Why I would have done that. No because people would have saw the shit. Yeah, but you
But they don't know it's you I would have just took mad fucking towels and that's I'll like
Toilet paper and just put it on top. So it like hides it. Yeah, that's they get at it
But I panicked though, dude. I was sweating. I was I was like scared. I was scared for my own well-being
You're like a dog trying to hide their bones
No, but you know when you shit and you're scared for your own well-being
I hate you when I have to shit and you start those cold sweats and you start thinking about stuff
I'm gonna start praying and like different gods. You're like, yo, just this one time and I swear to god
I'm gonna like I'll get it together. Yeah, it's like I swear to fucking Xerxes
Please just let me make this fucking bathroom
But yeah, so that happened and uh, that was basically the highlight of my entire week
Yeah, is that a shit myself? It makes for a good story when you shit your pants
It's a little embarrassing to do it at 30 years old
Yeah, this is this is too old for that in public
I will tell you like more of the story is don't shove a bunch of hot dogs in your mouth
I had one hot dog and 11 chicken finger
11 chicken fingers
11
Dude, I had nuggets dude. I had the biggest goodbye week. It was ridiculous. What does that? What does that mean? Because
I want to see a
A dietitian and endocrinologist. So they
Oh, they got some stuff. So you're like, I'm gonna fuck it up. Yeah, so they formed this like actual diet diet
They formed a diet for me. Yeah, uh, they formed a diet
Because I have diabetes news flash everybody knows that and um, so they were like listen on monday
We want you to start this and start logging your food and your calories or whatever
Mm-hmm
And uh, so me being my I was like I'm going out with a bank. So I'll tell you what I ate
I ate twix this weekend. I ate sour patch melons this weekend. Hell. Yeah. I ate
Um, a cheeseburger bacon cheeseburger with french fries ate that
I ate a bagel bacon egg and cheese bagel
I ate a bacon egg and cheese hero different days, but just letting you know where my brain was at
I ate pizza
Okay, I ate a chicken parmesan sandwich. You know, it's the thing going on here. No vegetables. Here we go
And also what I ate was a pint of hog and does ice cream
A pint a pint one sitting to fucking destroyed it get the fuck at me when it comes to eating
I can't breathe you wonder why you shit yourself. That was a line up there. Yeah, it sounded delicious. I loved that
Oh, yeah, it was fantastic. Yeah, it was a great time
But now it's it's back to the spinach and and melons. Yeah this morning. I had that I had that
I had a smoothie which almost made me throw up because maybe because I had fruit in it yuck
So I threw that up
So I threw that up and then this morning I had a spinach egg white omelet
How do you even sleep like I feel like when I eat bad like I like I can't sleep
No, it's different for me. I sleep better when I eat shit
When I eat good food
I go to sleep hungry like like a fucking like homeless person, right?
That's how I feel
Okay, like just cold on the street and I'm hungry and I can't eat and the only thing I get eat at night now
There's a handful of almonds
That's what I have to eat. I have to eat like a little Puerto Rican bird
I'm doing a I'm doing a cut too. So I I'm there with you
I was just eating cashews before it's awful cashews are dope though. I fuck with cashews
I fuck with cashews too, but it's not tasty. Yeah, and they're raw
So I had to like kind of start yesterday. So I had like a salad with like walnuts in it. Fuck my ass, dude
Yeah, I hate walnuts, man
Walnuts are trash
Those are like a pretentious nut
It is a pretentious nut because it also looks like a brain too. Yeah, it's like I don't need your brain nut
Yeah, it kind of looks like
Like a lung that's been dried out
Yeah, or like somebody like halfway through their smoking cycle. It's like kind of brown. It's not black yet
Yeah, but it's like but it's like that. Yeah
Yeah, it's probably what a jeweling lung looks like
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I think jewels are uh get a bad rep
Well, they're killing people. So yeah, but it's not that it's not like the jewel pods. It's like fake pods
They're killing people. Yeah, there's like fake thc pods that are killing people
But a jewel send that ass at a hospital though for show. Yeah, I sent that ass to a hospital. Yeah, god damn right it did
I
Has my tack city. Yeah. Yeah, but um someone what I forgot who it was more of a story
If you're smoking a jewel, you should probably stop
Yeah, you should probably stop but someone someone uh, especially if you don't smoke cigarettes and then you're just giving yourself a nicotine edition
Yeah, why are you doing that? I don't know and that
I don't know. I don't know
Um, also, I just want to like point out that over the weekend during this whole, you know food coma that you were in apparently
I had no idea about all this. Anyway, I can't tell you you judge
Kidding me. I would have been on your side. I would have done some stuff. You've been like, yeah, man. Listen, man
I love you bro, but like come on man. No. Yeah, I mean
Eventually I'd say that. Yeah. Yeah, you come in here and start like
Like the fucking girl for you. I fuck start shaking and shit
But my blood sugar was actually good because I didn't eat a lot of like carbs
But I did
Bacon and cheese on a bagel bacon and cheese on a hero. Don't judge that alone. No, come on
I haven't I've never had a bacon and cheese on a hero and like why where have you been your whole life your role guy
That's why you're a puss
I'm a bagel guy. You bitch. All right. All right. All right. All right
If you if anyone chooses roll over hero, you're pussed to me. It's mad bread
Yeah, but who gives a fuck have them hollow it out
Hollow it out. No, that's fucking dude. We ever get our bagels like can I get it scooped?
I'm like go get something else then. I do that you scoop. Yeah, but
Scooping your bagels. I scoop my bags. What what because that's mad extra bread
And also that's less bread than a fucking. You know, they say actually a bagel is like a loaf of bread
Yeah, because it's deep fried too. It's just condensed. Yeah, it's just condensed. Yeah, it's fucking good
I think uh, how are jewish people not fat? I feel like jewish people are all twinks. Yeah, that's money
What does that mean?
They're crushing bagels. They love bagels and how they're not getting fat with loaves of bread
They know when to put them down. I guess so, you know what I mean? They all they all they'll have health insurance. I hope
Yeah, they got you know what i'm saying. Yeah, they do it's birthright
It's like you get to go to jerusalem and then like you also get like health insurance exactly and that my friends
is judeism
Ah
Got it bang that one that one that we won't get canceled. Um
So funny. Anyway, um, oh no, what else we did we did something we did something together this weekend
What we figured out what kind of gays we are. Oh, yeah, we did all right
So we're gonna put a final thing on this. Okay until like till further notice, right? All right
We had shout out to barstle pat. Uh, we did barstle radio, which was fun. Had a very good time
Uh, but we also barstle pat is also known as gay pat in the office
So formally known formally known the artist formerly known as gay pat. He's still very gay still gay still
As gay as a gay man. It's a gay man
I love that. Yeah, that's great. It's a great gay man. Um
So we had him I said listen hold no punches
What am I what kind of what kind of gays are we? Yeah, so what came out was is that I'm on the brink
Of cub, but I'm a big cub. I am a cub. You're a cub. I'm a cub
Um
But I'm a big cub right if you were like four inches tall or you'd be a bear
I'd be a bear. All right, so I'm a cub which is great. I like being a cub. I don't have a problem with it
Yeah, joe is not a twink. Nope. He's not a twunk. No
He is officially categorized as an otter an otter. I'm an otter
But I don't have it. How'd you feel? How did you did you respect the decision? I'll be honest with you pat really, uh
Held no gay punches. No, he held no gay punches
But he he really motivated me
All right, and there's a direct correlation between the cashews
And who I am is a gay man. Yeah, of course, dude because he told me that
He told me that I looked at your face too when you said this
He told me that I was an otter
right and I was like
I was like, but I don't have a lot of hitched like hair and I had to oh
I had to like almost pop the top because I'm like, I'm not hairy. Yeah. I can't be an otter
Right because I'm trying to fit into twink so bad. Yeah, I'll take twonk at the very middle. Yeah. Yeah, but he's like you've outgrown
twonk
So I was like, all right
bet
So, you know what that means
Boy's on a diet boy's gonna get down to twonk believe that you could easily you could get to twonk in like two weeks
If I didn't need if you like didn't need a car for like two weeks you'd be twonky
Yeah, so I'm I'm really getting after it now because I'm only because I'm trying to fit in pat pat kept it real
Oh pat was like listen man like
You know he's like if you lost like 10 pounds you'd probably be like
Like he's like you'll never be a twink, which I probably agree with now
Yeah, now knowing that now I know all the new school gay terms that I didn't know in the past
Yeah, there's something called the rhino like like john tiger. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, john good. Like what? Yeah, what the fuck is this?
Um, no, no, there's geeks and jocks in there. I'm like, what is this high school?
Yeah, who's you know, I don't know what the hell's going on, but uh, so I'm never gonna be a twonk
Right, so it's just not my body type
Yeah, yeah, I feel you but
I can get down to twonk. I think you can. What a jock. I think you get the jock
I think you I don't even know which one's smaller. I think you would have to get like a little more jacked
Yeah, I mean naturally that's gonna happen
But but like also be like a little more of like a dick too
like where a lot of backwards hats, but like
Really get after it and wear like tie-dye all the time. You know what I'm saying
Okay, like kind of like be like a dick like I should be like have like a 8% like homophobic vibe
Yeah, yeah, I would even go nine. I would even go nine. Okay, you know what I mean, but it's repressed homophobia. You know what I mean?
Oh, yeah, it all is yeah
But that's what you would have to cut you would have to come with a little like new like homophobia
Right like energy to get into that jock phase. You know what I mean, that's gonna be hard for me
I don't know if I could do that. Yeah, I mean listen gets really gay on this show
I don't know if I could start just do a 180. I know baby. It's tough, but like I'm just letting you know you could do
No, I think that I could get down to twonk and now you know what all the gay dudes who
You know shit it on me uh for being for saying I was a twink like
You're right
You were right. So I have to I have to apologize. So it's all the
The gay men out there that told me like you're not a twink and I was just like these guys are fucking the haters
Yeah, they are haters, but like they're right haters. I hate when haters are right
Don't you hate that?
But anyway, just know uh twonk 2020
That's going down. I literally made that up on the spot and now we have to make sure it's yeah
twonk 2020 is 100 happening and we're gonna fucking document that shit. Yeah twonk twonk 2020. Love it
This guy's getting down to twonk can big cub be your vice
Fuck yeah, yes
Yeah, it's gonna be awesome. See my nicknames is gonna change though like right now. It's big cub
Okay, you know because I'm like a bigger cub. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, you know what I'm saying
I had to pop them. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Yeah, so uh, but if I change it to like otter at some point
I'll be like the big otter big otto something like that. All right, you know what I mean
I don't think you could get to otter
I don't know I would have to just be a powerhouse
Yeah, but even then I don't think you have the frame for an otter like I can't be a twink
You can't be an otter. Why not because you can only stay in the bear family. Nah, man
You're just a thick dude. Yeah, I am a thick dude like even if you were my bones are thick
Your legs are still thick as shit. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a thick ass boy. You know what I'm saying
So you say yeah, I could be fit cub
Oh, I could be a fit cub. Yeah, that'd be hot
Like I'm not talking about dude like getting a six pack or anything
I'm just talking like I could run out and get the mail and like not have to put my asthma inhaler in my mouth
That's all I'm working for. Oh, I mean fit cubs. Everyone wants to breathe
Twunk 2020s though twunk 2020 gonna be the best running mate you've ever seen and by running mate brisk walking mate
I honestly would be afraid to wear those shirts because I don't want to like get the hit in the face
No one's gonna say that. Oh wait, that doesn't say trump. What does that mean? And I'm like, it's a gay thing
Yeah, that's even funnier because now it's a hate crime
Because they hit you because they hit you because you're gay
I'm not gay
Oh
Shit, do you think
If I punch you right and you're gay, yeah
But I don't know you're gay, right?
Are you asking me if that's a hate crime because it's not it's not right?
No, it has to be like it has to be established that you're that you're gay. Yeah, like you
Yeah, I don't know
Like specifically going after this man because he was gay. Yeah, like so if we got into a fight in a bar
And then I didn't say anything homophobic and punch you it's not a hate crime, right?
But if I was like, hey
But if you walk into a gay bar and just started swinging at people like people were gonna be like, all right
Like this guy's clearly targeting gay men, but I think that you could still probably get away with that
I feel like I would have to be like, hey, come here. You're a big gay and punch you
That's a hate crime
Some could say that yeah, if you like express that like this is now if you walked into a gay club and said
I'm gonna beat up all you gays
Then that's a hate crime. Well, yeah that by yes
It is in short and good luck beating up gay people because they're super fit
Could probably fight for hours. Yeah, for sure. I've seen videos of gay dudes really thrown. Whoa. I was gonna be
I'm
I've been like fighting. Yeah, of course not sex fighting. Yeah
Is that a category of sex fighting? Yeah
I'm never I'm never indulged
Uh
It's just weird and I know this is a double standard. Oh no
but
Like a gay couple fighting
It's like a fair fight, right
physically
Okay, now
I know it's domestic violence, but do you think people would look at it differently being like, oh, it's two dudes
I mean, yeah, they would right still against the law. It's still against the law. It's domestic violence
You beat up your boyfriend you fight or whatever
But to the naked eye the untrained eye you don't see it as that
Right, I just be like, you know that dude's getting fucked up. Yeah, because like if it happened on the street
People would just take out their phones. Like, oh my god, these dudes are fighting right
But if he was fighting a girl, you're not gonna be like, oh, he's fighting this girl
Let me just yeah, you're not gonna film that you're gonna break that up
But two guys fighting you got to gather some gay intel first before you break that up. Well, I mean
I still let him go
Yeah, let him figure it out unless one of the gay ones was just washing the other one. Yeah, which is very possible. Yeah
um
Like pat could probably fuck me up
Yeah, no, you can't. Yes, dude. I've seen him fight. He cannot. No, he was on rough and rowdy and
I love pat. It was a gay performance
He's mad tall though. He's mad tall, but I feel like he would keep me out of distance
You know, it's funny whenever you picture fighting someone, right? Yeah, you always picture it like
Going professionally. Oh, like you add those things in with like I'm just thinking about now, right?
The way I pictured me and pat in a fight was like him keeping me out of distance with his jab because he's got he's really tall
You know, and I'm like
Wait, I mean, how tall do you think he is like six four? Yeah, I think I'm on the taller side of six four probably
Yeah
He's a tall six four
So I'm thinking about him keeping keeping me out of distance with the jab and like, you know, whatever bubble blah
And I'm gonna have to get in close and like it would never go like that. No, I'm thinking about it professionally
We'll watch pat fight after the show and you'll tell me if you could beat him up or not
I don't know man. I I know that I'd have to get to sponsors. Yeah, but I don't know
You might not be on the next round. I'm not getting on that thing. I'm not messing. This is the only thing I got
Listen, let me get down to twang first before we start messing up the old face. That's true. God damn you, right?
Once this goes this all goes. That's true. Everyone knows that
It's true. It's facts. All right
Entertain the masses. Yo, yo, yo, my name is Danny can't understand me
I got abandoned by my own family because I ate candy outside all alone
What a guy named Andy touched me on my butthole when we were sleeping in the hotel room all alone
And I was like, hey, can you stop that? He was like, hey, no, and I was like, hey, what's up?
Was that a real story? No, I made it up for you. So
Okay, sounded like there was pain behind it
Anyway, uh, let's get to uh the sponsors after that
Let's get to the sponsors for today. We have a whole bunch. Uh, the first one we have is mvmt
Okay, you ever been uh scrolling on your phone late at night? Yes, you what?
You're watching tv. Oh, yeah
Come on try another one. Yes
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Yeah, and they're stylish too. And like I've seen other ones that like
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Oh, man, what was that? I don't know what that was. What was that? I don't know. Sorry just stop trying to it's
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Basement. Okay. Very good. Danny. I'm working. I'm trying
All right. Next up. We had seek geek
Okay, the buddy's over at seek geek. You need tickets to a concert
Football game football concert. Uh, I said concert concert baseball playoffs coming up
Or you want to go a Broadway play get your play on or whatever you want to do
You get it through a seek geek their interface. I find it very easy to use
It's my only app that I use to buy tickets to be honest
I may go to Chicago soon and I might hit up a Chicago Bears game
Because they'll be there. I think the week that I'm I don't know
I don't know who they're playing but uh, I know they're at home
That'd be dope when you get there tell Mitch for basically throw touchdown, please. That'd be nice. Uh, yeah, I'll let him know
Yeah, um, but they have over 50,000 five star reviews on their, um app
That's a lot. That's a lot. Um, but yeah, it like has this interactive map where it shows you like where a seat is
What's a good price? What's a bad price if it's like red or dark red? Maybe stay away if it's dark green
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Next we have and lastly we have a buffy. Hmm. Buffy makes betting that is earth friendly and cruelty free
I want to say this right now. So usually what happens with this, right? We have full disclosure
They sent me a blanket
Okay, buffy
Mm-hmm
Love this blanket. Yeah me too
And I I don't know so it has stuff here that I'm supposed to read but I'm not really gonna do it
Okay, softer than cotton. It is very soft
earth friendly
I wouldn't have known but it that's nice
Uh, and it's it's eucalyptus
Oh eucalyptus uses 10 times less water than cotton to grow and its fiber is produced using recyclable earth friendly solvent
See I'm saving the world by going to sleep basically
But one thing I wanted to say is that it says somewhere over here. Oh no more night sweats. You can get cozy without overheating
That's the biggest thing about this blanket. Yeah, dude
I'm a sweaty freak and I haven't sweat since I got my buff the buffy blanket stays cool like the entire time
Yeah, which I don't know how
But I'll take it. I was like, yo
To the point where literally this is not a joke. I just bought their pillows. He did I saw him
I just bought pillows because I was like, yo, I believe in this because
The eucalyptus which is like a plant. I thought it was like a spell. No, no, no, but it's a plant
Or a pokemon. Yeah, a wild eucalyptus has appeared. Yeah, exactly
Uh, but they're they're amazing like I like now I need new pillows and I might get the bed sheets too
Whoo, and I didn't even hit a buffy on on the low like yo slide me some free stuff. I actually bought it
With what?
promo code, uh, which is coming up right now, uh for $20 off your buffy comforter because you can
They have a comforter, which is what we're talking about. We got the blanket the comforter
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Okay, again, that is $20 off your buffy comforter visit buffy.co and enter basement, but to be completely honest
Just
Change your whole bed up. Yeah word. It's buffy that shit
Fuck's with buff. That's there. That's there like slogan. It's buffy that shit. Buffy that shit. It's not. Oh, I made that up
What are you gonna do? You're marketing genius. I'm a marketing genius. Can I ask you a quick question? No, wait, okay
What's up? Oh when you were a kid you and Keith slept in the same room, right? Yeah, did you guys have like a themed bedroom?
No, no we had
Well, like we had wallpaper. Okay, but it wasn't like yo we love
The looney tunes and then your mom just like painted looney tunes all like all over
No, we had wallpaper and I remember one specifically
But she stopped doing wallpaper because we used to pick that shit and she used to beat us for it
Yeah, uh, but it was like sports
So there was like bats and like baseballs, but it was like one strip
It was like a pattern and then there was like the strip in the middle that had pictures of like sports and then another pattern
Yeah, but that makes sense
Right, but it wasn't was it wasn't like oh like we had bunk beds. It wasn't like all the ladders made out of bats
Yeah, that's what i'm saying baseball bats not the flying animal
Is that what a bat sounds like? That's not I don't that sounds like a really small mouse or a small cat
That sounded like a kitten. So they're called kittens
Oh, right. Yeah a little bit
Oh, I could be a cat. I want more
That was bad. Sorry. Yeah, that one sounded like you smoked
What was that? That sounded like a fart
So I saw like uh, I saw something on instagram or something where
You know these parents I like create like instagram handles for like their children, which is cool
But like in my head, it's like kind of weird, but it's like cool. I guess wait, what you know
Like moms will have like hey, what's up? I'm a baby, but I have an instagram managed by my parents
Oh, I know I haven't seen that you've never seen any instagram accounts like that like I've seen like dogs
They're around it's like hey, what's up? I'm eight, but it's managed by so-and-so
No, I haven't so I saw like a picture of a kid's room, right?
I can't remember who and I also just don't want to like give this person the clout like you don't want to blow him up
I don't want to blow up this eight-year-old because then I'm gonna have more competition
No, I'm sorry. I feel you I can't compete with eight and cute. Yeah 13 ugly
So what was the room uh, so the room was it was
Dinosaur themes, okay, okay, but everything in this kid's room was a dinosaur
His bed was a dinosaur. Wait. It was it was shaped like a dinosaur
No, it's not like you walked into like the mouth of a that fire that would but
Everything in there like his bed was like made of like volcanic rock
Yeah, it was like that and like his walls were painted like hand painted like artists came in and painted that shit
This is white people shit. Oh, this is I was gonna say these are white
100% Caucasian family so they they they painted
Like dinosaurs and all that shit and he had dinosaurs
There's pterodactyls and shit hanging from the ceiling and they had hanging pterodactyls. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
And he had like fucking light up fucking uh, not those stars, but like stickers you could put and all that shit
I don't think I'll ever love my kid that much. It's not about loving your kid
I don't know if anyone likes dinosaurs that much, but I like dinosaurs back in the day a lot. Trust me
But I didn't like them after like three months. That's what I'm saying and the other thing is too is like
I'm gonna come home from college and sleep in this room
That's what I was saying. We're gonna have to change this up
We're gonna have to switch this up get a new fucking artist in here and just paint this bitch blue
Yeah, that's it. Like listen, I shared a room with my brother. You know what I'm saying?
Like we were lucky to have a lamp. That's what I'm y'all. I don't even know if I had a lamp
That's what I'm saying. I just had the fucking the lights that had the with the fan
I slept on a bed that was slanted like this for like five years. Yeah, dude. We had a fucking we had a bunk bed, but
It it we weren't supposed to have a bunk bed because the the ceiling wasn't that high
So if you woke up and sat up you fucking get a concussion off the ceiling you basically slept in a coffin
Yeah, yeah, I could I could feel my breath hitting the ceiling and coming back into my mouth
Have you ever fucked on one of those or they were gone before you started having sex?
I was like I was like eight. No, yo, some people be having bunk beds for a long time
No, my brother went away to college, which was I don't even that's well, you know, whatever, but then we got we got regular beds
But there was a time where me and Keith were sleeping in the same bunk bed
Yeah, like this we were the on the bottom bunk and we slept we slept like, you know feet to face kind of shit
Oh, you didn't go mouth to mouth. I was afraid that I would wake up cuddling and maybe accidentally kiss my brother or had that morning bone
Or that I'm not dealing with Keith's morning bone. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, that's why I would have slept face to face
Yeah, but um
No, man, I had his feet feet feet to head bro. I slept there's a reason why you sleep feet to head
I slept next to feet for like years of my life
That's that's cool child feet dude. We're outside playing in the yard with no sock song because we're crazy yucky icky girls feet
So I am black feet black feet like just dirt like just just the bottom is just grow like an asphalt
You know what he was sleeping with too dirty asphalt feet
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
one time we played basketball in
Like in our alleyway, but the rim was
garbage cans
I had a stomach virus. I threw up that night
That's how dirty we were. Yeah, probably shouldn't have been playing in garbage. That's what I'm saying
You know I'm saying like
I wasn't that poor to be playing with a fucking you were a dirty little muskrat as a kid, weren't you? Yeah, hell yeah
We like the dirty boys like the Santa Ana boys are always dirty. There's always a dirty kid in your school, right? Yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, always a dirty kid and I was so bad for him. I'm like dude just like
No, if it was up to you up a little bit
Let's get this dirt off you if it was up to me though
I would have been one of the dirty boys
But you know my parents would like beat me into the shower if I didn't you know
Yeah, because even as a parent you're gonna you don't want your kid to be the stinky piece of shit at school
No, I don't no
You got to spray that kid. Yeah. Yeah, there was two like I remember there was one day though
Like my parents are very on top of us as far as that goes and like what we wore and like made sure like whatever like
I wasn't rolling to school with like a do rag on well. No, I what I'd like eight
I don't know. No
Uh
Keith one time
It was picture day
And I guess my dad was just like whatever
And we have a picture in our house of him and he's got an ultimate warrior t-shirt on that's fire
When he's got the rope and he's like
Yeah, wild color. That's awesome. Yeah, I have my mom was so fucking mad. I have one of the worst
pictures of all time
And I'm gonna post it when this episode comes out. We'll post it on the baseman yard page
It is single-handedly the worst
The worst school photo of all time. Why it's so bad. Yo, so I didn't know I used to have really long hair
I didn't know that uh
You had to wash it that I had to no like no, I just like have it be like presentable
I was wearing a hat that day
And my hair was long
And it was like, yo, we got to go take pictures now. Yeah, and I was like fuck. So me I'm doing this thing
I'm doing the cat thing. Oh my god. You're like a cat. Yeah, I'm trying to get it
So it's basically I can't explain how bad it is but think about like
A little Spanish boy like the jungle book like the jungle book with a comb over
Yeah, and then a smile like this
No teeth. No teeth
No teeth
Damn, yeah
Yeah, I used to have to show teeth my my my mom would get mad
Is there like a thing like you got to show teeth when you smile? Yeah, my mom was was very big on that. Why?
I don't know
Because it like doesn't make you look happy
I wasn't
I don't want to take this picture. My mom used to be like you can't wear ankle socks
Yeah, I was like, what the fuck are you talking about you crazy old witch?
One time I came home from the barber and I got pointed sideburns. Oh, it's a wrap. Yeah, my dad
Literally almost shaved them off my head
How far down what is this? Huh? How far down did it go? It wasn't that far. It wasn't like a crazy
It was like maybe like
To hear. Yeah, all right. Like it wasn't it wasn't anything crazy. That's about as hood as you got with your hair
I'll tell you what what that's about it like as hood as you got with your hair. Also, there was another time
that's go baby my my my
No one even believes me to this day
But there was one time I was I went to the bar because I used to get a bus cut
So you should line me up and he like went to do the side over here and knit my eyebrow
So I had that thing in your eyebrow and you remember when that shit was mad hood
We like, you know, you get a thing in your eyebrow fabulous had like three of them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so, uh
I had one of those and everyone thought like I did it on purpose
And I was like, yo, I almost get the shit like that to me for pointed sideburns
You think I'm gonna mess with my eyebrow my dad would kill him
People just come out with you like whoo
Yo, that was hot
I see you dawg. I see you. Let's see this fire. Yo, my dad won't let me do that
Yeah, and that's basically, you know, you did that. You asked. I swear to god. I didn't
Yo, you're here. I remind your eyebrow mad far apart, yo
Hey, man, dude was rushing and all this shit
I cut for you
Yeah, yeah, what do you want? I got it. Yeah, we do one. You want one lightning ball? No, I do
That's what he said. I used to not even be able to we used to get my haircut by russians
Those motherfuckers wouldn't even let me suggest what haircut I was about to get like I just sit in the chair and he'd be like
I got a good don't worry about it. I got and I'm like, bro. Let me tell you what I want first
You know, because he was just gonna cut the shit and then that's what I was gonna have
It's weird. It's like that's how they roll. It's weird
Oh, yeah, russians cut what russians want. Yeah. Yeah, it's like I'll fix I'm like fix
Nothing, I just want to tell you like, you know, what I had long hair for a while
I used to get abraded for like sports and stuff
Yeah, I don't know if I could ever grow my hair out that long
Yeah, it was really really long
So like I would have like basically cornrows like when I would play sports if I were to grow my hair out very long
I would have to be really hot and tan
If you get down the tonk, you might have to grow that hair though
That's what I'm saying like if I if I get like ripped up and like I'm in really good shape to the point
Right when I take my shirt off people are like
Okay, I can see that guy's like in really good shape
Like to that point where it's like obvious
Then I'll grow my hair out because then I could like have a dumb hair cut
Yes, and then people would be like, oh, it doesn't matter though because everything else is kind of working
But right now I can't just like add long hair to this shit. No, I don't know
That would be like midlife crisis show. Yeah, they'd be like, yo, what are you doing? I just you know
Yeah, just just an otter with hair. You know what I mean? You don't want that. No. Yeah
Can't
You could you could pull it off. I also don't know if my hair's like straight
It might be curves. What's the longest you ever grew your hair? My hair was mad long just a little while ago
Never that I I can't remember the last time my hair was that long. It's never been long
Like Keith kind of has has he's had long hair before
He's had long hair before it looks like his hair goes star and show you look at one of the beetles
I'm serious
He looks like he could have been in the beetles
Yeah, right
Like if you were to throw he looks like somebody from the 1950s
Like if you throw it back like he could have been in the beetles in the 60s 70s
Yeah, yeah, yeah with like those like bell bottoms and fucking 100 even like before that like the I want to hold your hand beetles
black and white
Yeah, I know what you're talking about
Imagine how big they would be with like twitter and instagram
Remember how big they were
Yeah, and like girls used to pass out and die just from being happy or whatever. That was insane. Yeah
Talk about being able to fuck whatever you want, huh? I'll be honest with you. I'm not attracted to any of them
I don't get the sex appeal none of them were good-looking. They got up there with like bowl cuts and suits. Yeah, I'm like these guys look like
They're doing taxes up there
Yeah, and people would suck like three albums out of John Lennon's dick and like no hesitation dad. I get
He was good
No, they were all good, but it's just like I don't know. Yeah, that's also like what's his name fucking uh from the stones
Why can't I think of his name? Jagger? Yeah, Mick Jagger Jagger. I feel like has like a little more sex appeal than like
Paul McCartney. I mean, yeah, he does but it's because he wears leather pants and like struts his bulge around on stage
But Mick Jagger just looks like an old tired woman
Yeah, who looks more old and tired him or Steven Tyler. They look like the same person. Yeah, I think they just split gigs now
Yeah, they look like they stopped in the middle of a transition
Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, dude, that's what it looks like
What they look very womanly it's like they got to the fifth inning started really just called it off. Yeah, they like forget it
I'm tired. I'm gonna go home
Fucking ref like this. Yeah, it's like chill chill chill chill. That's it. That's it. That's it
That's what it looked like. Yeah, it did. Um one thing I wanted and they crush it and I love them both
Yeah, you could save it. You're good. I'm not I love I mean, it's very well documented that Ariel Smith and rolling stones are amazing
Yeah, of course
Of course
I can stay awake
Also, Steven Tyler doesn't even have like a good voice, but it works. I know neither does Mick Jagger
They're the same guy
They don't have great voices, but it just works and they're rock and roll
Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, I would say Steven Tyler has a better voice
Okay, but yeah, Mick Jagger's like
I'm like, yeah, you just like got a red dough
But I want to paint it black. He sounds like a ghost. Yeah, he does. They're like he does sound like a scary ghost
Yeah, he's just like
And you're like, all right, can I just
Can you raise your hand? I'm really hot. I'm sweating. You're sweating profusely. Yeah, I'm getting after it. Yeah, yeah
But it's okay. Um, the other thing I wanted to say was uh, there was an article that I read and I sent it to you
About a hundred canisters of bullseye been exploding. Did you get that one at 3 a.m? Yeah, yeah, yeah
actually posted about it because
uh
What a ridiculous text to wake up to yeah, so 20 in the morning
Uh hundred. What was it a hundred pounds a hundred liters? It was a hundred
uh
like
What do they call what do they call those things silos
Not silos, but you're fucking close, dude. Where they put like corner in or whatever. Is it cylinders?
cylinders
No, I'm pretty sure it's silos. Is it silos? No silos
That's like a tall thing. Yeah. Yeah. It was
a
Fire at cattle breeding facility in australia destroyed at least 100 cylinders
of bull semen
How much is in each cylinder it sounds like a lot of bull semen
Well, I think if if you're coming into a cylinder
It's probably upwards. That's a cylinder. That's what i'm saying. It's probably that's a lot of jizz
Yeah, of course, dude. How long would it take you to fill that up with jizz?
Five months. No, are you in sturdier being funny? Yeah, I should roast up. I'm not that kind of rope
You know how much fucking semen how what about peter north?
What do you think peter how long would it take peter north philis? Oh, maybe eight days eight days?
Yeah, that guy was that guy was coming like crazy. I wish I had the whatever
That would take me like two years
I see like like when we were talking about like superpowers at one time
I would want to I just want like a superpower like that man. Just like be able to shoot fat ass ropes. It's all I want
Okay
Well, I know to get you for your for your birthday. No, stop
Are you serious? All right. I'm trying to find out how many how many ounces were in these cylinders
Um
Fire part should have done this a while ago, you know, yeah, but I don't like to pull the phone out during during
I'm talking about before you showed up. Oh, if you knew we're gonna talk about this one
This our article is even better though because it says firefighters forced to dodge
projectiles
Oh, there was like aftershock
Yeah, man, you had the dodge cylinder
Fucking shrapnel come shrapnel. Wait, wait, wait, wait
Let me get this straight. Yeah in australia
There's a bunch of cylinders. Yeah a hundred cylinders. Yeah filled with bullseaman. Yeah
And there was an explosion. Mm-hmm at 3 a.m. And when these people showed up to the scene
There was more explosions. Yeah, and there's and there were dodging coming shit
Yeah, because it's like, you know, like if something flammable catches fire during a fire like I'm putting out the fire
We better hope it doesn't get to this flammable come. You know what I'm saying?
And then it's like skedarsh and then the fucking come shrapnels everywhere. That's what happened
So a huge fire a cattle breeding facility in australia is called stout hunt. Uh, no thousands wait
Why do you need that much come anyway? Are you like are they breeding? Yeah, it's a breeding facility
So they're just fucking artificially inseminating shooting jizz and everything
Uh, that's a lot of cylinders. That's a lot of come. Yeah, so it started out as a fire
It took 10 fire crews to put out that burning come
More than two hours to fully extinguish the fire and the come after it broke out around 3 a.m. Local time
Okay, mm-hmm
A spokesman
A spokesman from the county fire authority told daily mail
Australia that the fire had in quotes completely shredded the building
Yeah, oh man
Uh, no way. I'm saying this guy's name right, but it's count country fire authority gipselin commander
Whatever the fuck that means. What the hell chris low shouldn't call
So the crew his name is a lotion call. Yeah, low shank all
Oh lotion. It's basically a lotion call. Oh, yeah, I did. Yeah
Uh, the crew had to be wary of projectiles coming at them while they were tackled by the blaze
Damn that that fire was coming on those dudes
Yeah, dude cylinders those cows were coming all over the liquid inside the cylinders was rapidly expanding
And essentially the lids of the cryogenic is frozen jizz. Obviously you have to freeze. Oh, yeah, obviously
Yeah, you have to freeze it. Um
We're just popping off the top and projectiles were being thrown from the building
So the heat was forcing the lid that the cum lid because the cum was expanding the cum was expanding
Cum expands when exposed to heat. Well, no, I think that it it gets smaller when it's frozen
And then when you you know, you expose it to an explosion and it gets hot it starts to expand pop the top
And we got overflowing jizz all over the place. Yes, you have jizz first of all shooting out of the building
Yeah, jizz is shooting out. Yeah. Yeah out of there
And then the actual projectiles are probably the shrapnel from the cylinders like exploding and expanding
I wonder if they stuck to them when they got their video of this this cum shooting building
Uh, there is but it's like post it's like post dramatic all the cum has been eradicated. You know, yeah
So it's like it's not the best shot of cum
That sucks. Yeah
They said the fire is the fire the fire uh company didn't know what to do because they've never been uh
Exposed to something like this. Yeah, okay. Okay. Yeah liars
Uh said the loss of a hundred chirogenic cylinders of cattle semen will be a huge blow
It's for the farmers. Can you write anything better? Can you have a better quote? It was a huge blow
It's a huge blow to cattle farmers. It was a huge blow. Yeah 100 cylinders. You're blowing. How much do you think that cum cylinder cost?
You know, yeah
$5,000
Okay, the actual cylinders themselves are worth between 500 dollars. Okay, I went too high and
1000 per unit
But the semen inside them varies in price. So there was
More expensive cum that blew up in there
Probably like your price cows cum and then you got like your lower barrel. It has like a fucked-up ankle
Yeah, yeah, not good genetic cum over here. So it could have easily been a 5000 barrel
$5,000 barrel of jits. Yeah
That's a lot of money you lost
Yeah, man, I didn't even know cum fars existed dude 100 barrels
times a thousand
That's devastating. That's a devastating blow. That's a huge blow to these cum farmers, man. Yeah
Uh, I just I am now
Like newly aware
That there is a cum industry
70% of the farmers income comes from that cum
Comes from that cum 70% of their income comes from cum. Yes
Damn, dude, you just lost a hundred fucking cylinders
You lost a hundred cylinders of fucking liquid gold. Wait, how did this even start?
Like would did someone like leave a like the furnace on or they said it was electrical, but who would
People play dirty when it comes to the cum game, you know what I'm saying
Bull cum might just spontaneously combust
Maybe but I feel like, you know, there's there's people playing dirty
I think that farmer fell into some bad people and they were like, dude, if you don't pay up
We're gonna come here and fucking burn your cum, dude. Yeah, and he was like called their bluff
They showed up in the middle of the night and fucked burned his jizz farmed down, dawg
It's a classic case
I mean, it's open and shut. It's open shut open and shut
I know burnt that cum can't say but I know did it
You can confidently say yeah, for sure. I'll tell you off here. I was gonna say yeah
What's the cum's boiling point? We should boil our jizz see if it expands. I don't want to smell that. Yeah, it's probably gross
I mean not in here. I'll do it at your apartment. Yeah. Yeah, that's fine
It's probably that smells terrible, dude
You ever burn hair? Yeah, it's probably way worse than that. Oh, yeah. I used to burn hair
Off of the front of my head
Like I used to like
I mean Mike used to just like do it just burn your hair just like set on fire and then like put ourselves out
That's a fun game. Yeah, it's stupid
You've done shit like that though come on that on my arm. Yeah, I've never burned my
Scalp my brother once gave himself a smiley face. You know what that is
I remember with the lighters they had like the circle
It looked like this like a clown and then it had the two things like that
What like the top of a lighter? No
So it would have like one thing to look like a smile the hole where the thing came out
And then they had like two eyes here for you to flick. Okay
And he let that burn for like three minutes once and put it on his arm
And like seared a clown face. Yeah
That's a good idea. Yeah. Is it still there? Yeah. Should I really? Yeah, I should ask him about it. Which one? Mike?
Really? Yeah
I'm gonna need a picture of that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I should ask him fucking idiot. That was amazing
That was amazing, but uh speaking of idiots
Uh, I saw this thing on twitter too, uh about this portable chair going around. Oh my fucking god
Yeah, the portable chair is probably my favorite thing out right now
Yeah, just so everyone knows there is an invention that shouldn't have been invented
There's a portable chair that people I don't know if people are wearing it. I don't think so, but you attach these bionic
Fucking legs to your ass. Yeah, and then you could just sit down whenever. Yeah, which I will say one
The one of the laziest things we're a fat ass country. Why are we getting fatter by just like no exercise
Just sit for every reason. Yeah, and then you just have bionic legs dangling
From your body like it looks like they're going mountain climbing. It also looks like they're not walking comfortably though
They're walking like like they've got dangly
Fucking titanium legs behind them. That's what it looks like. It looks like they're trying to be a spider
It's like you're not going to be a spider Jerry
I think some people just aspire to be ahead of the curve of other people
And even though that thing is fucking ridiculous, they'll do it just so people ask them. What what is that?
But like I have never gone through life
Being like I wish there was a chair here right now. When has that happened?
How many times can you say that?
Other than being like a parade
A parade a parade or something
I started yeah, I know you did may but that's like it like there are many days. I'm like damn
I need a chair. Yeah, I think there's an abundance of chairs. Yeah, you can find a chair if you need a chair
That's what I'm saying. I think there's chair. I think we're good with the chairs
I also like how the one guy sat this angle and literally just went like this
Turned and then sat to like open his fridge and then like yeah
They were showing a video of a guy and he like sat to open his fridge like who needs to sit then
Just stand up. Just walk to the fridge. Yeah, you're five inches from your fucking from every you own 10 chairs and a couch
You know what else is shit a standing desk
All of these fucking hippies and they're standing desks
Sit down my posture. I'm working on just just take a seat. Just sit down. It's not good my back
My personal trainer was just sit, you know, it's not good standing for 13 hours a day
Oh, and it's like it moves and it's like you look you can you can adjust to high
Just sit out of desk sit at a desk also the people that sit
On those chairs that are just a giant medicine ball. Yeah, that's stupid too. It's not playtime. No, this isn't McDonald's
Get a chair. Yeah, I would rather you have a bionic these bionic legs behind you
I would use that bionic chair if it was in my office. I wouldn't walk around with it
Like these these people strap it you have to strap it like you're about to go rock climbing and they walk like this
And first of all people are gonna be like, oh my god, this poor guy like if I see it
I'm gonna think that guy has like spinal bifida. Yeah, or like cerebral palsy or something
I was like this fucking poor guy these guys this guy is an inspiration. Yeah, so I and then out of nowhere
He's an asshole. Yeah, you're like, oh no, it's like, oh sir. Do you know he's like, no, it's just my chair. Yeah
You're like, what? Yeah, I got tons of chairs also the weight limits 260. I'm pushing it. Yeah, those things would be fucking buckling
I'd be like, oh my fucking yeah, it'd be like a shaky can of soda ready to fucking explode. Yeah
shaky
You ever see that in like cartoons and they would shake up soda and be like
Yeah, just vibrating. Yeah
Um, but yeah, I think I think like why are we creating this but like listen a part of me wants to be like, all right
That's like in somewhat somewhat. It's not even practical though. No, no, but that's what I'm saying like it's an inventive idea
Sure, it's cool. Cool, but it's not practical. I'm not strapping that shit up. No before I come here
I gotta take an uber here or a train
Yeah, I would actually exert more energy
Strapping on these fucking metal legs so I could sit down on them. Yeah, you're fuck. Yeah, your piece of shit if you own that though
God, I'm not I'm not I'm not one of those people to like knock like people's ideas
But that's not that's not even a good idea to me. It's not a portable chair. No, you're not they're not scarce
We got chairs. We got chairs, dude. Make something else
You know what they should do. You know what they should happen
So I think eventually this is gonna happen
But you know in the in the airport how they have like just those random fucking
Like kiosk not like escalators, but they're like flat and you just walk on them
Yeah, just get you there fast a little faster. Yeah
First of all hilarious because it's like literally maybe 20 yards
It's like did I really save a lot of time here? I love those things by the way just gonna go on record
I feel like I'm flying. I always look to my right and like I am moving
But I feel like those are gonna be on the sidewalk
yo
I'd be all in for that though. I'd be down too. I feel like that should be done before
We're we're strapping metal fucking legs to our asses. Yeah, but you also walk up an escalator which fucking infuriates me
Why I'm trying to get there. No, that defeats the purpose take the stairs. Do you want to get up there?
That's not the purpose. The purpose is to cut time
between stairs. No, no, no
Yes, it's too it's too there's two lanes on escalators
There's a right lane and then there's the left lane for fucking dicks like you
Yeah that are in shape and want to walk up a floating
But you know how hard people had them fucking work to make that escalator work
You're just gonna laugh in their face and walk up it. I get to the top very fast
I understand but you're laughing the face of fucking
Mechanics and people that went in there and fixed that shit. Just you take the stairs then
I
No, I'm trying to get up there fast
Do you run upstairs?
Sometimes I run upstairs
But I don't always run out. I haven't run upstairs in a while. I hate stairs
Yeah
Now I did the math. I live on the 11th floor, right?
Mm-hmm to get to my apartment
There's 12 stairs per floor
So
If I had to do that every day walking up
So 132 stairs, I think that's way more than that. Well 12 by 12 times 12 was 144
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right
Um, I only know that because I used to look in the back of notebooks. Oh, wasn't that awesome fucking cheat sheets on there?
There's a time table, but I was like, what's 12 times 12 because that's the highest number and I just knew 144
Oh, and I hope that's right
Yeah, that's right. Yeah, so 132 steps. So 132 steps
Now they're not just steps though. No, they're fucking you're climbing. You're climbing. Yeah, so it's harder
So do you think that if I just did that every day?
Nothing would happen. No, no, no, and I ate right
Yeah, ate like super clean. No, and I did that every day. Do you think my cardio would get better?
Um, yes, but you'd plateau very fast because that's not a lot of steps
But if I crushed it like I think like it would be something where you could do it once you started being able to do it
You would get bigger calves. No, no, no, I'm not saying about getting bigger. I know that I know that but I'm saying that would be the effect
No, but you could do it faster
Then I could run up them
okay
It's still only 132 steps, right?
But if you do it faster your heart rate's gonna be beating faster, isn't it or you could just go up and down
That's what I'm or yeah, or you could do that. Yeah. I mean, that's why there's the stair master
Dude the stair master is not is not it's not real
What the stair master isn't real
How is that not real because it's way too dangerous first of all and also also it's way more hard to go up a stair master than
Is regular stairs. No, it's not. Yes, it is go walk up regular stairs and then go walk up a stair master
Why is it different because the incline is a little bit different and then if you hang on too long
You slip off the back of it. That's why you gotta keep walking. That's what I'm saying stairs
At least you could be like, yo, there's a railing a real one and then you could be like, whoa, you know
I'm saying maybe I go back down the stairs. You could fuck kill yourself on a stair. I mean a stair master
I wouldn't recommend it to people who aren't super coordinated. That's what I'm saying
Yeah, or even super in shape you have to graduate to a stair master getting off of the stair master
I think is harder than anything. Yeah
But it's not you can't compare a stair master to regular stairs stair master way harder
When was the last time you did a stair master probably like six months ago seven months ago
How how how many steps you do way harder than regular stairs
Because you're doing it at an accelerated pace. That's what I'm saying
But if I'm running up like, you know, if I'm running up 12 floors
From walking my cardio is improved
Yeah, sure. That's what I'm saying, but I'm saying just doing that. How did this even start?
I don't know. But what I'm saying is like, yo 132 steps
Even if you sprint it every day eventually you're just gonna plateau
Yeah, you would have to do it a couple times a couple more times a day. It's not that much cardio
It's not
You're fat twang. Who are you telling anybody about?
You said I was a twang though. Yeah, dude, you'll always be twang to me. I'm never gonna let you leave that zone
No, I gotta get down. I'm not gonna call you if you want. I'll call you an otter
But I'm not gonna I don't want to do it. I don't I don't identify as that. That's what I'm saying
Yeah, so I'm gonna keep you in the twang family because I fucking believe in you dog
Thanks
You got it
Yeah, man, how do we get from bullcum the running upstairs? I don't know man, but I'm all I'm I love the stair master
I was on it today. Yeah, but the stair master shit, man
Dude, I did I did the empire state building on the stair master once
That was terrible. Yeah, like why? I don't know. You still gonna run the marathon?
No, that's over
No, hell yeah, I I there was you know, you know, dude, there's always next year, man
No, I know but like what the thing is though with the marathon it is so
Hard
Like the physical part is hard. Yes, but and the whatever the actual physical running and training is like whatever
But it's so hard to just stay
Focused on that you're working towards that every single day and be like
Whatever and like because life gets in the way things happen
You get busy at work. You have this and that and then you just like oh, I can't do it today
And then you fall off the wagon
It's like that is like the hardest part for me because like getting into shape
Like if I could just do it every day and like be hyper focused on it and like whatever it's obviously possible
Why can't you?
Yeah, I don't know. It's hard things just get in the way like your life gets in the way. It's a whole fucking sounds like excuses dog
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah it is
It is an excuse, but it's like a legitimate like this what I'm saying the reason why it wasn't because like, you know, whatever
It's just it's how about this reason. I don't want to run that far. I do though. I do want to do it
If I get I I seriously I seriously want to do it
I want to do it. How far how far do you think you get this year? You could probably do it this year
I could it theoretically like do it. It would take me like fucking
It's five and a half six hours probably how warm are you right now?
Like in terms of like if we were to go outside right now, how far could I go? How far could you go running?
um
Maybe three miles
I would give you I would give you more than that three miles. I would give you like four
Maybe four and a half. It would depend how badly I want to like prove how far it can run. Yeah, how slow can I run?
I don't know. No, I don't have to run. No, no, no, but like can I like jaw like bees like slow?
Like can I put like a like a lap in that's like what's the slowest lap I'm allowed? I don't know
Not 15 minutes
I could run a mile 15 minutes. Yeah, I would hope I can walk a mile. That's what I'm saying
Yeah, I could probably run like
a
12-minute mile no, I could beat that
I could beat that if I know I'm just doing one mile I could smoke a 12-minute mile
Okay, but if you're saying like two or three miles, I'm at the dial. I'll be honest with you
I think I think you're like I think
Or what do you think you would go if you right now today had to run a marathon? No, we had we were running one
No, and it would take me like four hours if we went to the track right now. Yeah, could I run a mile?
Like I mean you could run a mile or you could walk it if you want
But like how fast do you think you'd do it if you knew you're only running one? It's four laps at the track
How long would it take you?
If you only knew you were running one
Like 9 30
Really, I think you'd be higher than that. No, I do
We could do it. I'll do it. Yeah. Yeah, I'll do it
If I know I have to run one mile and that's it. I could do it at 9 30 right. Yeah
10 max
I think it's harder than you think. No, it's not
And that's the other thing too treadmills
are bullshit
A mile on a treadmill shit a mile on a track is better than yeah
That's what I'm saying like you're really going through because you actually have to see like running on the streets of new york city
Yeah, we'll go to a track because running on concrete and running on treadmill are different things. It does different things to your body
Let's pick a date. I'll run a sub 10 mile
You'll run a sub 10 mile. I'll run a sub 10 mile if you pick a date
Do we like you're gonna train for it or what? Fuck no
What that defeats the purpose. So why am I picking a date? I'll just pick a date. I'll go out there run it
I'll go out there on it. I don't know if the track's open over there yet. Whatever it is, but
Can I use my inhaler
Before what about during
During yeah, it's still a little if you want it's like asthmatic spinach. I definitely wouldn't
I definitely wouldn't want you to like hurt yourself. I'm not gonna hurt myself. I'm not running. I'm jogging a sprint
I would hurt myself
Like I could I got a hammy holding on by a goddamn
Angel hair pasta that's about as much as I got there that thing's just waiting to go out on me
Yeah, but I think I could break tent
I don't know because dude if I walk a mile in less than 20 minutes
10 minutes a long time dude. Yeah, but running also like
I don't know man. I'm telling you you got to believe me. I'll beat 10 minutes
If I get around
I would have to do the second lap
Do you think you could run a mile without stopping? Yeah
Yeah, I've never not been able to do that
Okay, dude if I get out there and go here. I'm good. Okay. I'm good. I'm just worried about
These that's the only thing if I'm not sprinting I could do it
How do I know you don't fake one of these injuries so I won't because you can't breathe. No, I won't
You could you'll be able to tell the difference
I'd be at my hamstring hurts
I'll be like
You'd be like, no, that's your lungs dude. Yeah, Danny's like, you know, I'm good
It's my knee. It's my knee, man
No, dude, if you let me like just warm up I could I could do 10
I could I could do sub 10. Do you think you'd go faster if we ran next to each other like sea biscuit? Um
Take the blinders off them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think if we we started together if we started together? Yeah
Yeah, it would help me keep a pace
Yeah, yeah, yeah, because like I'd be able to like
So if I ran a mile with you at like a nine minute pace, what do you usually run miles?
What's the fastest you think you could run a mile in right now?
Uh, six minutes seven minutes
Just under eight just under eight. I don't know. Yeah, I don't really ever run for that. Yeah, but like three minutes
Three and a half minutes on a mile time. That's a shit loaded. Yeah, it is that's what I'm saying
but it's also just about like
Having the wind to do a mile
Dude, I remember when I first started it was hard to run a mile
Straight. Yeah, it's tough. Yeah
We'll go on a treadmill and we'll do that one first and we'll see we'll see where the time is at
Okay, but you could set and know like okay. I'm at this time. Yeah, like whatever. Yeah
Like I usually run to run a 10 minute mile. What's the speed you think?
Huh, like you know how there's like a speed on the side of the treadmill. Well, it's a
It's a it would be a six no it'd be a six, right? I get you to six
Yes, once you get up to that 7.4 range now you're fucking with me. You know, I'm saying I usually run just like like an 830
When I'm at the gym like running. Yeah, but I won't run like
A seven something. I'm fucking I'll die
I'll do that like in intervals
You know, I I don't know like
I used to be able to just run forever. I've I've ran like a six 40 mile before
Yeah, do you know what how crazy that is a six 40 mile?
Right, which is I that was the best I've ever ran a mile. I've ran faster and then people have done it
A minute and 40 seconds faster than that. There is this there was this kid lance
That's insane. There was this kid lance
In my high school that ran it in like 545. Yeah, dude, that's insane and it was
unbelievable and I was like, yo like
My thing was is like I always wanted to have a sub seven mile before
Camp would start football camp, right? So I would get there and be like, dude, if it's like 759.9999
sub seven keep it. Yeah
This kid used to fucking just lap us during mile runs. I think one time you hit like
Like 530 something like something ridiculous
But like, yeah, I think I could get a 10 minute mile
You don't want to like train a little bit beforehand. I'll stretch defeats the purpose get the fat ass out there start chucking
You know what I'm saying? Yeah, chucking and trucking down that fucking thing
You got shoes on you. Yeah
Do I have shoes on me? No, you're talking to dogs. You got sneakers on you. I mean, I got oh on me right now
No, I've Birkenstocks. I might run a barefoot to be honest
You're definitely not I'm definitely taking that over then. Oh, no, I'll go fucking like full Nigerian. I'll go fucking like Kenyon
Yeah, I'm gonna go full
Fucking third world running out there like a monster. You have the tracks kind of pointy. Is it? Yeah, it's brand new though
I don't I want to go check and see if it's open. I want to go when it's a little cooler
Me and 84 degrees don't don't we have to go in the morning? Yeah, if we went in the morning, I'll do it
It's perfect because it's breezy out straight by the water. So it's also cool. I'm also my peak energy
Yeah, so I'll just be able to get out there take a little fucking
And then just run up and run that line
So where's that happens? I die cares
I can't drag you out of there. Yeah, you can I don't know
You got to get one of those fault in recovery systems where you just strap me to a balloon just shoots me off in the air
I'll bring a fucking defibrillator. Yeah, or or flair or something. Well, we'll be fine
We'll be fine. I have to get a stress test done anyway. So I'm they're gonna make me run there
I'm not gonna make you run a
9-minute mile. No, but they make you fucking run though
How fast do you think you could run it like like if your your best right now is what?
Like if you weren't aiming for under 10 because
That would mean like then you'd be like, oh if I'm at 9 15 like I could take this last life
You know I'm saying like if you were like I'm gonna fucking go like
Well, this is gonna have to be a santa gala studios video now
What you run in a mile. Yeah, of course. Um
The fastest I could run it
9 minutes, okay the fastest
But I'm trying to just beat sub 10, okay
I
Kind of want to just see you run it by yourself. Yeah, let me run it by myself. Fill me fill me
Do you want to watch so you know how you're running? I'll put my apple watch on
Does it have like a pace? Yeah, it has a pace and it has like a timer and all that shit
Yeah, because that's so important too
I used to like give people shit for running with watch you fall behind
But it's like if you don't know how fast you're going like that my problem honestly was running too fast
And that doesn't and not because I'm fast, but because I'm burning out so fast
Yeah, so I'd be running like a 730 pace and I'm like, why am I so fucking tired? I'm like three laps in
Yeah, I'm gonna have to like crush a banana before too. Just so I don't cramps up
Yeah, man
Suck down a banana drink some water get back out there sip water. Don't drink it. Yeah, because then you'll cramp
I got it. My focus forget. I was an athlete dog
It was was the keyword
But yeah, I mean we'll pick a nice round date and we'll go out there
We'll film it and then we'll upload it see for the people let the people see it
You want to do it sometime in october? Yeah, let's do it. Uh, I think you should get out there and move a little bit
And not just all right. Okay
You know I'm saying so why don't we do it the week before we go to nashville. All right
So let's do it
Friday october 25th
Okay, right. What day do we leave we leave the next week, right? Yes. Yeah, so we can do it friday
If we can't do it that friday, we'll do it that monday
Let's go sub 10 right sub 10 sub 10
Hashtag sub 10 hashtag sub 10s in the chat
I don't mind letting you like train until then because any like I'll sneak I'll sneak off I'll sneak off a 250
Pound man running a sub 10. It's still a hard thing to do. Yeah, but you know life is hard
You know what I mean when you're right. You're right when you're right. You're right
And then also I look at it like this if I don't run a sub 10
Then
I got work
But that could be a stepping stone. I kind of almost wish I don't I don't run the sub 10
So you could work up to the work up to the sub 10 and then we start subbing nine
Now you're getting crazy. Yeah, man. We start fucking we start getting after the track
We should just start going with the track. No, I'll die
I'll die
I'm telling you man. You get here an hour early. We go to the track. We run for 20 minutes and we're good
We can do workouts to do intervals. Damn dude. Call me out. I'm just saying I'm hey, man
If I have someone else with me like then I have to go. I feel you. I feel you pay for my gym membership
It's not a it's a track. Will you pay for my gym membership? I'll I'll live with you
No, if you pay for my gym membership, I'll live with you. I'm not going to pay for your gym
See it doesn't want me to get healthy. He wants me to die speaking of dying though. How much time we got?
I don't know. We're at an hour 23. Oh, okay. All right. I just wanted to talk about this one last thing, but uh
October 25th it's going down. Okay. All right
Be there or be square. We should probably get like some kind of medical professional there though
Just to make sure this is what I'm saying. You should run beforehand. No, man. I'm getting out there
I don't need that shit 30 years old not 50. I know but I just don't want the first time you run
You're fucking running for like competition. It's not competition
If I'm if my preparation is right, that's what I'm saying, but the preparation up here aren't you gonna stretch physical prep?
Or you're going to be like a horse horses will run until they have a heart attack and die. Well
Go out on a blaze of glory then
Unless you hit on you imagine you could do an 11 minute mild die at the end. Well, you didn't do it
10
Two and a half minute lapse two and a half minute lapse that's not
Like no, but I just need to have two good laps
So you're going to try and get under 230. You're going to have to try and do two minute two two
My first two laps my strides are going to have to be a little longer. Right then I could shorten them up around third
And then the fourth
I got to put in work in the first half of the track
Then I could or I could put it in the second half depending on where the clocks
I always sprint at the end. Yeah, so if I could just get there, I might have to jump for the line, but I think I could do it
Could be a photo. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's gonna be a photo finish for sure. I fucking hope
Uh, but yeah, I just wanted to get to this one story a man died while diving underwater to propose to his girlfriend
Is she a mermaid? Why why was he?
Was she under the water? Well, they went to this place where you can have like rooms that are underwater
It's called uh, yeah
Yeah, I've seen those those are tan Tanzania. It's in Tanzania. Okay. It's off the coast Tanzania
So the couple traveled there from Louisiana. They stayed at the luxury place where you could eat and sleep underwater
um
My god, this is what the note said you want to hear he put a note on the glass
So say there's a glass here
And I'm proposing to you and I put my hand on the glass with the note, right? Yeah, it goes
I can't hold my breath long enough to tell you everything I love about you
But everything I love about you. I love more every day
He said in a note pressed against the glass
Will you please be my wife? Marry me question mark question mark question mark
And he died he drowned
How he couldn't get out of there could he couldn't get back up why not he just couldn't do it
It's this is fucking stupid. I'm sorry. It's I it's ironic. It's ironic and listen listen listen, okay
This is why the internet sucks
Because here's why you people put these fucking proposals of these amazing things and then you got these people that
Like I want to outdo your thing and be at like astronomically like beautiful with their fucking thing
Maybe she was a slow reader
That too and she was just like
And he's like damn bitch hurry up. I'm fucking but also white Caucasian male. Um
Why would you do that?
That's not romantic. I mean I get how like how it could be like water is just romantic
Yeah, but when you propose to somebody which I've done
You get on one knee and you kiss the person you don't swim away from him and then cut try to come back
Yeah, you don't do that. I'm sorry. I also like I feel bad for this gentleman. Obviously scuba. No scuba. That's what I'm saying, dude
No tank. What are we doing?
There's pictures of it not of him dead, but like him doing it. No. Yeah, dude. You want to see? Oh, I honestly don't
I'll show you
I feel so bad. I hope this is a fake story. No, fuck. No, it's not. There he is right there fucking pushing the thing up against the glass
How about you not take a picture and tell him to fuck say yes already
This man died. Yeah, dude. He dies fucking
Proposing trying to be a viral sensation
Yeah, it's trash, right
Just propose like normal people. Okay
Get down on one knee even put a pillow down there for your knee, which I even thought about doing
Dude, I feel so bad, but like also like
What are you doing
That's insane all that for a pun you died for a pun. Yeah
Fuck dude. Yeah, man. That's so like, uh, that's a bad time to die and also say I can't hold my breath
I don't have enough breath to do this
He's a very honest man. Yeah, he's a very honest man. I would
Look at the shit
Because of shit. Oh, man. That's the thing. It's like listen what these baby reveals
And these you know what and these I don't really feel bad for making a joke because I don't at all
Because people would have made jokes about me
I would have just been another one of those crazy white motherfuckers that went hiking like, oh, bitch. Why are you out in the wilderness?
Like you went on vacation to exercise. I know how dumb and white that shit is. Yeah, and I almost paid the price
Yes, you did. So I'm kind of in the boat. So I'm letting you know now. Listen. Do I feel bad for this guy?
Yeah, 100 but you're a fucking idiot, dude
I also would have just been like I can't really breathe in my head up now. Yeah, I'm like, hey, listen
Let me take another gas for air and I'll come down and get your answer. Yeah, let's do that
You know what I mean?
Yeah, don't do that man. Just there's way more romantic things
You don't have to go be a fucking fish also in that in that moment
I'm sure you're so like
Sort of frantic and excited. There's a lot of adrenaline like you're not breathing good
Yeah, you're like skipping your heart skipping beats and shit like that's not just that's not the time to hold your breath
Nah, man
And it's like, yo, it's like
Man, I can't believe that that's wild. That's a horrible way to die. And now I just traumatized someone too. Yeah, you should watch me die
We were supposed to get married. I'm asking you to marry, but then I died
That's super trash. Yeah, I think about all the people that die on like their honeymoon and stuff
Yeah, I heard a guy like died like because he fell like into the Grand Canyon or something like he went to go take a picture
With his wife or something and then he
Damn you killed that bitch, too
No, he's no she was taking a picture of him and he was just like, oh, I got it Beverly. Yeah
And just fell off the side
See, this is why I don't do things like this
You know what I'm saying? Listen
High things with no
Safety shit. I'm good. I'm not doing it. Don't tell me to be more adventurous. I'm not doing it. Okay
Yeah proposing under water another one not gonna do it even though I can hold my water for actually a very long time
Hold your water. I'll hold my breath under water. Yeah, you can I can't hold my breath for shit
No, you're very bad at holding your breath. Yeah, um, you would think I was chain smoking my whole life. Yeah
um
And the other thing is too
I
I'm afraid
That people are gonna try and copy that
No, I mean, you know, a man goes down doing that. I don't think you copy it
We know the formula and and the sad thing is that girl's gotta live with that for the rest of her life. I know
That's the saddest part
But what are you doing?
I don't know
She's asleep. I'm gonna go dive under water now
You know when she was taking pictures and whatnot. Yeah, dude. Like, oh my god, it's amazing
I'd be like, oh go up. This is then this is sort of going
My man's was dead, uh, it's fucked up, man. I don't even want to think about that. Yeah, that's fucked up
Why did you tell me that that's a good story though? I mean, it's like an interesting thing, but you know
I thought it was interesting. Anyway, someone died. Yeah
Anyway, sub 10 mile
Sub 10 mile. I'm I'm fucking gonna die doing that. So who cares?
Yeah, honestly, like this is all gonna like be ironic because you know, I actually probably shouldn't do it now
Because we talked about this and it's all setting up to like come full circle now
It's like, oh Danny made fun of that guy that he died on the track
No, because then if I die it actually will get people to stop exercising because if I die exercising
It proves that exercise doesn't work. Yeah, and if you die on that track, it's not like I could be like, you know
He died doing what he loved because you didn't know that's what the out it would be the opposite
You know, there was a guy died playing basketball with a son
What the fuck where are we going? I'm not doing that. No, no, no, that's like that's that's a good way to go out
No, it's not he was an older man like 70 80 years old had a heart attack and died in his son's arms
Why is that cool? That sounds terrible. No, man. He went out doing something that he loved playing basketball with a son
Do I think Matthew McConaughey's dad died having sex with his mom?
Now that is pretty dope
What a coxman, yeah
Gress in peace, but yeah
Yeah
Anyway, uh now that we've covered the uh topic of death. Uh, thank you so much. Yeah. Uh, where can they find you Danny?
Uh, you could find me in the gym, I guess
Preparing for this challenge. Yeah, if I pay for his gym membership, I'll pay for my own. I don't need your help
all right
Would you come to the gym and do my workout plan that I'm on right now?
Yeah, if you paid for me to join the gym, I would go to the gym with you as long as I know I'm not paying for the gym
I would go. What have I halfied?
this guy
You there needs to be something on the line for you because if you don't go every day, I'm gonna be fucking pissed off
I don't want to be your dad. You probably have a free guest
That lasts like six days
And you used it if you if you yeah
So
If you if you pay for me to go for the gym, maybe have z's we'll discuss
I'll go with you
I can barely get here on time for work. What are you talking about? You're gonna meet me at the gym? No, I'll meet you here
Okay, then we'll drive there
Don't put me to the test. Yeah, but uh at Daniel La Prairie on instagram and twitter and uh hospital near you
Do you have another podcast as well? Well, I was gonna get there, but I didn't know if you want to do yours first
You know what I'm saying because you guys are coming back this week
Oh, shit, we are yeah, see but uh go check out the stank podcast too on santa gato studios podcast network made by
The one and only joe santa gato hot
Otter boy, which I don't agree with so yeah at the stank podcast on instagram and then uh check us out on youtube as well
The youtube.com slash the stank podcast
Uh, yeah, and guys other people's lives other people's lives is back now
For season seven we got uh some episodes up. I think by the time this goes up. Yeah, there'll be two
Yep, um, but go check it out. Um on itunes spotify
Fucking wherever it's not on youtube though. The whole shebang. Um, but go and go check out the instagram at opl podcast and
Yeah, and our patreon for the basement yard. Thank you so much everyone who are patrons patreon.com slash the basement yard
And that is all see you guys next time. It's fucking hot in here. Yeah, I'm sweating
You