The Basement Yard - #210 - Run Danny Run

Episode Date: October 7, 2019

On this episode we discuss if Danny can run a sub 10 minute mile, yeah ok pal. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome back to the basement yard. How you doing Danny? What's up, man? I know Danny almost threw up like five times before we just started recording. I have a belly ache Why'd you say that like a four-year-old? I don't know. Yeah, you also look like one of those old catchers right now Oh, wait, hold up See Throw it in there. Yeah, that's what you look like one of those old catchers Yeah, you gotta you gotta dip in or you're in a softball league Way too serious. Yeah. Yeah, you guys you guys gonna play on Thursday. Yeah, we don't got enough guys
Starting point is 00:00:33 Yeah, you show up. I got an extra glove in my car. I Would love to play softball though. Oh, I would love to play softball next summer. We'll do softball It's actually the the official first day of fall. Yeah, is it? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yep I didn't know that but today's date. It is September 23rd. It is something like that. Yeah, sure and the fall equinox is upon us What is an equinox? I don't know a gym for rich whites. I know that Oh, yeah, oh, we're back. Oh, we're back, baby. We're back. We're back. Yeah, so um, how's We'll skip over that. We'll fix that in post right? Yeah Yeah, we'll take out all the the white guilt or whatever. Yeah, every time I make a white joke people like oh, you're a fucking snowflake
Starting point is 00:01:21 Pussy. Yeah, every time I make a white joke like you know, you're white, right? And I'm like, uh, yeah Yeah, that's how it works. Like thanks for figuring that out for me, bud Yeah, I can only make fun of half of myself, which is like so hard for me to deal with sometimes What that you're half white and well, I'm half Italian and half Puerto Rican. Yeah, you're a talerican So it's like a half of my family like is racist towards my other half. You know what I mean? Yeah, I get pulled in both ways, you know. Yeah, I think it could get tough on yeah I'm like these goddamn Yeah, you can't you can't but you can say rich whites. I easily could say rich whites. Yeah, they I don't think they'll complain
Starting point is 00:02:01 They will they always do. Yeah, they do the rich whites. Yeah, they hate it. They do they hate a lot of stuff Oh, if there's black entertainment television, why can't there be white entertainment? I just don't get it I hate when people bring shit up. Yeah Why do they have their own channel because you have a hundred of your own channels? Yeah It's like the it's like the the straight pride parade. That was one of the funniest things ever. Oh crystallia. Oh, yeah did it on his podcast I was fucking dying I mean, that's just that's hysterical. Yeah, that's what he said. All parades are gay, right? Yeah, I mean I grew them He was talking about the straight pride parade. He's like if you're in a parade you're gay
Starting point is 00:02:41 Yeah, that's true But yeah, I mean, you know that stuff is ridiculous. It's also I mean it's directly That's what I'm saying. It's very similar to white people being like, uh We don't want a white panther. So why is there have to be a black panther? It's like shut up. Yeah And uh, the other thing is too also a white panther sounds fucking cool. Yeah, that's what I would like to have one Or at least do a photo shoot with one like a snow leopard or something That would be hot fire, but they have but they have spots, right? If you're leopard you have spots Yeah, I don't really know the difference between a jaguar and like a you know, we've panther an alliance
Starting point is 00:03:16 Fucking oh, wait, is it jaguar and a panther like the same tigers live in like the rainforest? I think this is your and lions live in like the jungle Wait, I think you got that mixed now lines lines are out there on the savannah. Yeah, that's the jungle dog No, no, no, is it? Yeah, I mean that's the king of the jungle. So it has to be come on daddy It is a little jungly. Come on, baby. What'd you sure say? Oh, it's from zion. Whoa. Did you almost fall off that cliff right there? Basically, yeah, yeah, that sun looks fucking awful. I would have a stroke of that. This looks very religious Yeah, it does. It does. That's why I was gravitated towards it. Yeah, honestly, this is very illuminati right now
Starting point is 00:03:54 Yeah, but you know, I got I just not and I'm doing do you believe in the illuminati kind of but I like do you really like think like Like if people out there like selling their souls and shit. No, I don't think it's any of that I think selling your soul means like You know, you just like put up with a bunch like no one talks to the devil directly, right? No Ew, is that a booger? It just landed on my own nose. That's fire There's a wrap around like because there was like soul to soul to the devil, but it's not like hey, meet me outside in five minutes Yeah, no, it's not anybody like let me fucking Fuck you with this red cock. Yeah
Starting point is 00:04:30 No, no, no, no, I think it's just like, you know, jeffrey eppstein. We all know jeffrey. Yeah, yeah, of course Very familiar with jeffrey now Like I think selling your soul like I would consider him part of the illuminati illuminati I don't think it's like a group. I just think it's like mad rich people who do weird ass shit But when you get rich enough You kind of turn a blind eye to it because you're like if I want to stay in this room right now Then i'm gonna have to like let this do bang kids on his island. Yeah, I think illuminati was like the first cancel culture Because like if you went against their ways, they'd cancel you. Yeah, but like yeah
Starting point is 00:05:04 Except it was like reverse because they're like, yo, we're banging boy butts Yeah, so if you're not down to bang boy butts You'd get the fuck out. Yes. It's reverse cancel culture and we can make you richer because we all have connects You know, so it's like we'll even give me some money to like maybe not say anything about me doing stuff with my dick That's what i'm saying. You know, I think that's like the illuminati like that's selling your soul like you sell In a way your soul when you're like, you know what? I'm not gonna tell anyone that he's uh, You know fingering boys or anything. Yeah, I'll let that one slide. Yeah, but you know, yeah That's what happens man. You let a whole bunch of shit slide and then someone has a temple on their fucking
Starting point is 00:05:42 Island and shit It's weird. Yeah, sure. How was your weekend? It was all right. How was yours? It was good. Shit my pants though Like what kind of what kind of like law you logged it I didn't log it but uh, it was like, uh, you know when sprayed you know when the when the beach Reaches like the top of the peak it starts bringing stuff back like the wave that comes up the beach Yeah, you know and then you know when it comes like a little bit higher like the second time That's what it looked like in my pants like like like
Starting point is 00:06:15 slightly wet sand You had a sandy poop. I had a sandy poop. Yeah, you sanded it up. It was liquidized poop Okay, yeah, so I was at Madison Square Garden and I was I had to poop during the second period of ranger game Why didn't you just go because uh, oh you tried to slip out of fart and then oopsie. Yeah, yeah Yeah, it's snuck up on me. Oh the poop snuck up Well the fart snuck up like the bro that feeling snuck up on me because it went from enjoying the game to having the shit Very badly and you can't do both those. No, no, you can't enjoy things and have to shit doesn't work like that So I was like, all right. I gotta go
Starting point is 00:06:53 So i'm walking back to the bathroom And I take one step and shit just releases from my asshole So you lost all control if you're like ain't yeah, I didn't fart it out. I didn't do any of that I took one. It was just so the whole the whole The whole show Popped out. Yeah, it wasn't like uh, you caught like a little bit of it and you like, you know You clenched with all your might. No, man. I shit my fucking pants. Yeah, like you let it all go You know like uh, you throw your pants out. What was that game where you would have to connect those like, uh
Starting point is 00:07:26 you would have to connect Like pieces of a pipe to get the water all the way to the other side. Do you remember that? Yeah, I don't know what it's called Let's just say that's what happened and then the whole thing and then I yeah Yeah, I shit my pants and then I felt a little bit of it trickled down my leg Did you really just a little bit not a lot So, I mean it was a very watery shit because before the game I was in the suite and I was Eating lots of free food, which I enjoy. Yeah free and food go together. I love them both Yeah, so I was doing that and I was enjoying it, but I think I ate too many chicken nuggets
Starting point is 00:07:57 I mean, oh, they had chicken nuggets. Yeah. Yeah chicken fingers too like long ones. Wait, they had nugs I've never been there and there's been nuggets. Yeah, they were fantastic too. Then I ate a hot dog That'll hot dog will put some fucking. Yeah, that'll put some shit sweats in you So I was like, okay, I'm trying to do this now. Let me eat all this because I don't want to eat later Like it was around dinner time. So the game started seven. I was like, let me eat all this food at 6 50 Yeah, so I don't eat, you know what I'm saying because I have to go I'm on a new diet now Which I'll talk about later, but what so it involves hot dogs No, it just involved eating as much as possible before I had to be a normal person and not eat anymore
Starting point is 00:08:33 I think that's a recipe for a wet disaster. Yeah. Yeah, so So I was walking back on a shit my pants So, you know how far from the bathroom were you when you know? So Goodbye underwear. I would say about 90 paces 90 paces. Yeah 90 paces 90 paces are like 45 meters. Maybe it was like in sight It was around the corner It was up my button around the corner basically, right? So but you're you knew I'm close
Starting point is 00:09:04 Yeah, in your body was like thank god, but like when it said thank god it let all that out Yeah, it's like when you're trying not to come during sex, but you know, you're gonna come dude You know, but and then in your head you're like fucking. I'm just gonna come. Yeah at this point I was just like I'm I'm just gonna shit my pants like I can't do it I can't make it so all that butt come came out. Yeah, because I wasn't in a position where I could have ran to the bathroom You know what I mean? I would have been also I don't know how people run to anywhere for the bathroom I know it's weird if I got a shit and I start running like now. I'm just like
Starting point is 00:09:35 Slicing it up and making it smaller. It's gonna just squeak out. I don't even know. It's like when oils on top of water Yeah, they're just doing that thing. That's what it would be like and for me I was like, yo, please let me get back to the bathroom But once I'm in that magical step, which somehow just unlocked my asshole. Yeah Yeah, there was just like a perfect symmetry of the leg and body It was probably something to do with like the magnetic force in that space Yeah, and I had this perfect alignment going so like it just caused me to shit Right. Like, you know the periods of Giza, they're like lined up with the stars or something
Starting point is 00:10:07 You probably stepped on your spot Like if you go back there right now without having to shit and you step in that spot, you probably poop again Yeah, I think so that was like a perfect shit plant Like whatever I planted in my foot was where I needed to shit. Yeah, I should have shot there to be honest Yeah, but I get to the bathroom and I take my pants off, right and not take my pants off to look I take all of my pants off My pants are off. How many pants you got? Well, I take my pants I look in my underwear first and I was like all this duty
Starting point is 00:10:33 So then so then So so then I I had to take my pants off. I had to take I took my shoes. I took my shoes off Did you get on your socks? No, I didn't get up didn't get down to my socks because I wear like tighter pants So they got stuck in the pants. Good. Thank god. Yeah. Thank god. You're a trendy man. Yeah, so um, thank god I am a trendy man. Wait, what color pants were you wearing? Black. Thank god. Oh my god, dude Did it did if you were wearing like just jeans
Starting point is 00:10:59 It would have looked a little wet maybe but like it wasn't like it looked like someone like You know when you wash your hands and flick your friend's face. Oh, so there's just there was blood splatter It was like splattered down because I wear uh, like I wear like compression Underwear a lot. Okay. You know what I mean? Yeah, hold it. Hold your shit together Hold my shit together because I got some extra junk. Yeah, you got stuff flowing around. I don't know. Yeah, so I got to keep it tight Yeah, I'm tight, you know, so I had to do that And I had to take those off which were impossible because I'm sweating So I had to roll these shitty underwear off my body
Starting point is 00:11:34 And I had to take my pants off and my shoes off for that So I was in the bathroom with Madison Square Garden with just my socks on And no pants. I was winning the pooing hard. Yeah. And So I cleaned myself up some of it got on my ass cheek. You know that you know that feel oh, yeah It's spread and then it feels like someone buttered up your fucking crack. That's exactly what it feels like your cheeks are Just sliding and you're like this if this was like a biscuit it'd be delicious Yeah, somebody turn my poopy butt somebody turn my ass on to like a pv and jay sandwich So I'm saying so well you did that. Yeah, I did I did
Starting point is 00:12:07 So I cleaned myself up or whatever, but now I realize The bathroom that I was using was a private bathroom. Yeah, okay. Oh, there's a line. No, there wasn't a line There's just nowhere for me to dispose of This fucking shitty fucking piece of underwear. Yeah So what I do using my noodle you flushed it. No, no, no, no, I wish I that would have been smarter That would have been Dumb. Yeah, I would have flooded the whole place. Yeah, it would have been great. So the toilet that uh, um the trash bin had like A plastic bag wrapped around a trash bag. So I as they do so I took the trash bag up
Starting point is 00:12:45 I put it underneath And then replaced it. Oh my god, you left a shitty surprise for the custodian. Yeah. Yeah, okay And I shit you not no pun intended guess who's right outside the door when I open it the custodian Yep You ran out of there. No, I stayed I stayed why because I didn't know if I was gonna have to shit again. I don't want to go walk all the way back to my seat and have to shit So I had I had to do that
Starting point is 00:13:15 I had to do that and he walked out of there and that guy picked up my shitty pampers and I I don't know if he knew it was me He didn't look at me. So I don't know if he maybe just like dumped it into a big bag and like didn't see it No, man, they they they pull those off. Yeah, they he knows what's up because I'm sure like you've trapped a bunch of smell You know I'm saying because they tie those like bags That's what I was worried because I couldn't put it just in the regular fucking trash bin Why I would have done that. No because people would have saw the shit. Yeah, but you
Starting point is 00:13:48 But they don't know it's you I would have just took mad fucking towels and that's I'll like Toilet paper and just put it on top. So it like hides it. Yeah, that's they get at it But I panicked though, dude. I was sweating. I was I was like scared. I was scared for my own well-being You're like a dog trying to hide their bones No, but you know when you shit and you're scared for your own well-being I hate you when I have to shit and you start those cold sweats and you start thinking about stuff I'm gonna start praying and like different gods. You're like, yo, just this one time and I swear to god I'm gonna like I'll get it together. Yeah, it's like I swear to fucking Xerxes
Starting point is 00:14:17 Please just let me make this fucking bathroom But yeah, so that happened and uh, that was basically the highlight of my entire week Yeah, is that a shit myself? It makes for a good story when you shit your pants It's a little embarrassing to do it at 30 years old Yeah, this is this is too old for that in public I will tell you like more of the story is don't shove a bunch of hot dogs in your mouth I had one hot dog and 11 chicken finger 11 chicken fingers
Starting point is 00:14:45 11 Dude, I had nuggets dude. I had the biggest goodbye week. It was ridiculous. What does that? What does that mean? Because I want to see a A dietitian and endocrinologist. So they Oh, they got some stuff. So you're like, I'm gonna fuck it up. Yeah, so they formed this like actual diet diet They formed a diet for me. Yeah, uh, they formed a diet Because I have diabetes news flash everybody knows that and um, so they were like listen on monday We want you to start this and start logging your food and your calories or whatever
Starting point is 00:15:23 Mm-hmm And uh, so me being my I was like I'm going out with a bank. So I'll tell you what I ate I ate twix this weekend. I ate sour patch melons this weekend. Hell. Yeah. I ate Um, a cheeseburger bacon cheeseburger with french fries ate that I ate a bagel bacon egg and cheese bagel I ate a bacon egg and cheese hero different days, but just letting you know where my brain was at I ate pizza Okay, I ate a chicken parmesan sandwich. You know, it's the thing going on here. No vegetables. Here we go
Starting point is 00:15:57 And also what I ate was a pint of hog and does ice cream A pint a pint one sitting to fucking destroyed it get the fuck at me when it comes to eating I can't breathe you wonder why you shit yourself. That was a line up there. Yeah, it sounded delicious. I loved that Oh, yeah, it was fantastic. Yeah, it was a great time But now it's it's back to the spinach and and melons. Yeah this morning. I had that I had that I had a smoothie which almost made me throw up because maybe because I had fruit in it yuck So I threw that up So I threw that up and then this morning I had a spinach egg white omelet
Starting point is 00:16:35 How do you even sleep like I feel like when I eat bad like I like I can't sleep No, it's different for me. I sleep better when I eat shit When I eat good food I go to sleep hungry like like a fucking like homeless person, right? That's how I feel Okay, like just cold on the street and I'm hungry and I can't eat and the only thing I get eat at night now There's a handful of almonds That's what I have to eat. I have to eat like a little Puerto Rican bird
Starting point is 00:17:00 I'm doing a I'm doing a cut too. So I I'm there with you I was just eating cashews before it's awful cashews are dope though. I fuck with cashews I fuck with cashews too, but it's not tasty. Yeah, and they're raw So I had to like kind of start yesterday. So I had like a salad with like walnuts in it. Fuck my ass, dude Yeah, I hate walnuts, man Walnuts are trash Those are like a pretentious nut It is a pretentious nut because it also looks like a brain too. Yeah, it's like I don't need your brain nut
Starting point is 00:17:28 Yeah, it kind of looks like Like a lung that's been dried out Yeah, or like somebody like halfway through their smoking cycle. It's like kind of brown. It's not black yet Yeah, but it's like but it's like that. Yeah Yeah, it's probably what a jeweling lung looks like Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I think jewels are uh get a bad rep Well, they're killing people. So yeah, but it's not that it's not like the jewel pods. It's like fake pods They're killing people. Yeah, there's like fake thc pods that are killing people
Starting point is 00:17:58 But a jewel send that ass at a hospital though for show. Yeah, I sent that ass to a hospital. Yeah, god damn right it did I Has my tack city. Yeah. Yeah, but um someone what I forgot who it was more of a story If you're smoking a jewel, you should probably stop Yeah, you should probably stop but someone someone uh, especially if you don't smoke cigarettes and then you're just giving yourself a nicotine edition Yeah, why are you doing that? I don't know and that I don't know. I don't know Um, also, I just want to like point out that over the weekend during this whole, you know food coma that you were in apparently
Starting point is 00:18:32 I had no idea about all this. Anyway, I can't tell you you judge Kidding me. I would have been on your side. I would have done some stuff. You've been like, yeah, man. Listen, man I love you bro, but like come on man. No. Yeah, I mean Eventually I'd say that. Yeah. Yeah, you come in here and start like Like the fucking girl for you. I fuck start shaking and shit But my blood sugar was actually good because I didn't eat a lot of like carbs But I did Bacon and cheese on a bagel bacon and cheese on a hero. Don't judge that alone. No, come on
Starting point is 00:19:03 I haven't I've never had a bacon and cheese on a hero and like why where have you been your whole life your role guy That's why you're a puss I'm a bagel guy. You bitch. All right. All right. All right. All right If you if anyone chooses roll over hero, you're pussed to me. It's mad bread Yeah, but who gives a fuck have them hollow it out Hollow it out. No, that's fucking dude. We ever get our bagels like can I get it scooped? I'm like go get something else then. I do that you scoop. Yeah, but Scooping your bagels. I scoop my bags. What what because that's mad extra bread
Starting point is 00:19:38 And also that's less bread than a fucking. You know, they say actually a bagel is like a loaf of bread Yeah, because it's deep fried too. It's just condensed. Yeah, it's just condensed. Yeah, it's fucking good I think uh, how are jewish people not fat? I feel like jewish people are all twinks. Yeah, that's money What does that mean? They're crushing bagels. They love bagels and how they're not getting fat with loaves of bread They know when to put them down. I guess so, you know what I mean? They all they all they'll have health insurance. I hope Yeah, they got you know what i'm saying. Yeah, they do it's birthright It's like you get to go to jerusalem and then like you also get like health insurance exactly and that my friends
Starting point is 00:20:17 is judeism Ah Got it bang that one that one that we won't get canceled. Um So funny. Anyway, um, oh no, what else we did we did something we did something together this weekend What we figured out what kind of gays we are. Oh, yeah, we did all right So we're gonna put a final thing on this. Okay until like till further notice, right? All right We had shout out to barstle pat. Uh, we did barstle radio, which was fun. Had a very good time Uh, but we also barstle pat is also known as gay pat in the office
Starting point is 00:20:58 So formally known formally known the artist formerly known as gay pat. He's still very gay still gay still As gay as a gay man. It's a gay man I love that. Yeah, that's great. It's a great gay man. Um So we had him I said listen hold no punches What am I what kind of what kind of gays are we? Yeah, so what came out was is that I'm on the brink Of cub, but I'm a big cub. I am a cub. You're a cub. I'm a cub Um But I'm a big cub right if you were like four inches tall or you'd be a bear
Starting point is 00:21:33 I'd be a bear. All right, so I'm a cub which is great. I like being a cub. I don't have a problem with it Yeah, joe is not a twink. Nope. He's not a twunk. No He is officially categorized as an otter an otter. I'm an otter But I don't have it. How'd you feel? How did you did you respect the decision? I'll be honest with you pat really, uh Held no gay punches. No, he held no gay punches But he he really motivated me All right, and there's a direct correlation between the cashews And who I am is a gay man. Yeah, of course, dude because he told me that
Starting point is 00:22:12 He told me that I looked at your face too when you said this He told me that I was an otter right and I was like I was like, but I don't have a lot of hitched like hair and I had to oh I had to like almost pop the top because I'm like, I'm not hairy. Yeah. I can't be an otter Right because I'm trying to fit into twink so bad. Yeah, I'll take twonk at the very middle. Yeah. Yeah, but he's like you've outgrown twonk So I was like, all right
Starting point is 00:22:37 bet So, you know what that means Boy's on a diet boy's gonna get down to twonk believe that you could easily you could get to twonk in like two weeks If I didn't need if you like didn't need a car for like two weeks you'd be twonky Yeah, so I'm I'm really getting after it now because I'm only because I'm trying to fit in pat pat kept it real Oh pat was like listen man like You know he's like if you lost like 10 pounds you'd probably be like Like he's like you'll never be a twink, which I probably agree with now
Starting point is 00:23:07 Yeah, now knowing that now I know all the new school gay terms that I didn't know in the past Yeah, there's something called the rhino like like john tiger. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, john good. Like what? Yeah, what the fuck is this? Um, no, no, there's geeks and jocks in there. I'm like, what is this high school? Yeah, who's you know, I don't know what the hell's going on, but uh, so I'm never gonna be a twonk Right, so it's just not my body type Yeah, yeah, I feel you but I can get down to twonk. I think you can. What a jock. I think you get the jock I think you I don't even know which one's smaller. I think you would have to get like a little more jacked
Starting point is 00:23:42 Yeah, I mean naturally that's gonna happen But but like also be like a little more of like a dick too like where a lot of backwards hats, but like Really get after it and wear like tie-dye all the time. You know what I'm saying Okay, like kind of like be like a dick like I should be like have like a 8% like homophobic vibe Yeah, yeah, I would even go nine. I would even go nine. Okay, you know what I mean, but it's repressed homophobia. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah, it all is yeah But that's what you would have to cut you would have to come with a little like new like homophobia
Starting point is 00:24:18 Right like energy to get into that jock phase. You know what I mean, that's gonna be hard for me I don't know if I could do that. Yeah, I mean listen gets really gay on this show I don't know if I could start just do a 180. I know baby. It's tough, but like I'm just letting you know you could do No, I think that I could get down to twonk and now you know what all the gay dudes who You know shit it on me uh for being for saying I was a twink like You're right You were right. So I have to I have to apologize. So it's all the The gay men out there that told me like you're not a twink and I was just like these guys are fucking the haters
Starting point is 00:24:50 Yeah, they are haters, but like they're right haters. I hate when haters are right Don't you hate that? But anyway, just know uh twonk 2020 That's going down. I literally made that up on the spot and now we have to make sure it's yeah twonk 2020 is 100 happening and we're gonna fucking document that shit. Yeah twonk twonk 2020. Love it This guy's getting down to twonk can big cub be your vice Fuck yeah, yes Yeah, it's gonna be awesome. See my nicknames is gonna change though like right now. It's big cub
Starting point is 00:25:25 Okay, you know because I'm like a bigger cub. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, you know what I'm saying I had to pop them. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Yeah, so uh, but if I change it to like otter at some point I'll be like the big otter big otto something like that. All right, you know what I mean I don't think you could get to otter I don't know I would have to just be a powerhouse Yeah, but even then I don't think you have the frame for an otter like I can't be a twink You can't be an otter. Why not because you can only stay in the bear family. Nah, man You're just a thick dude. Yeah, I am a thick dude like even if you were my bones are thick
Starting point is 00:26:00 Your legs are still thick as shit. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a thick ass boy. You know what I'm saying So you say yeah, I could be fit cub Oh, I could be a fit cub. Yeah, that'd be hot Like I'm not talking about dude like getting a six pack or anything I'm just talking like I could run out and get the mail and like not have to put my asthma inhaler in my mouth That's all I'm working for. Oh, I mean fit cubs. Everyone wants to breathe Twunk 2020s though twunk 2020 gonna be the best running mate you've ever seen and by running mate brisk walking mate I honestly would be afraid to wear those shirts because I don't want to like get the hit in the face
Starting point is 00:26:34 No one's gonna say that. Oh wait, that doesn't say trump. What does that mean? And I'm like, it's a gay thing Yeah, that's even funnier because now it's a hate crime Because they hit you because they hit you because you're gay I'm not gay Oh Shit, do you think If I punch you right and you're gay, yeah But I don't know you're gay, right?
Starting point is 00:27:00 Are you asking me if that's a hate crime because it's not it's not right? No, it has to be like it has to be established that you're that you're gay. Yeah, like you Yeah, I don't know Like specifically going after this man because he was gay. Yeah, like so if we got into a fight in a bar And then I didn't say anything homophobic and punch you it's not a hate crime, right? But if I was like, hey But if you walk into a gay bar and just started swinging at people like people were gonna be like, all right Like this guy's clearly targeting gay men, but I think that you could still probably get away with that
Starting point is 00:27:26 I feel like I would have to be like, hey, come here. You're a big gay and punch you That's a hate crime Some could say that yeah, if you like express that like this is now if you walked into a gay club and said I'm gonna beat up all you gays Then that's a hate crime. Well, yeah that by yes It is in short and good luck beating up gay people because they're super fit Could probably fight for hours. Yeah, for sure. I've seen videos of gay dudes really thrown. Whoa. I was gonna be I'm
Starting point is 00:27:57 I've been like fighting. Yeah, of course not sex fighting. Yeah Is that a category of sex fighting? Yeah I'm never I'm never indulged Uh It's just weird and I know this is a double standard. Oh no but Like a gay couple fighting It's like a fair fight, right
Starting point is 00:28:19 physically Okay, now I know it's domestic violence, but do you think people would look at it differently being like, oh, it's two dudes I mean, yeah, they would right still against the law. It's still against the law. It's domestic violence You beat up your boyfriend you fight or whatever But to the naked eye the untrained eye you don't see it as that Right, I just be like, you know that dude's getting fucked up. Yeah, because like if it happened on the street People would just take out their phones. Like, oh my god, these dudes are fighting right
Starting point is 00:28:49 But if he was fighting a girl, you're not gonna be like, oh, he's fighting this girl Let me just yeah, you're not gonna film that you're gonna break that up But two guys fighting you got to gather some gay intel first before you break that up. Well, I mean I still let him go Yeah, let him figure it out unless one of the gay ones was just washing the other one. Yeah, which is very possible. Yeah um Like pat could probably fuck me up Yeah, no, you can't. Yes, dude. I've seen him fight. He cannot. No, he was on rough and rowdy and
Starting point is 00:29:18 I love pat. It was a gay performance He's mad tall though. He's mad tall, but I feel like he would keep me out of distance You know, it's funny whenever you picture fighting someone, right? Yeah, you always picture it like Going professionally. Oh, like you add those things in with like I'm just thinking about now, right? The way I pictured me and pat in a fight was like him keeping me out of distance with his jab because he's got he's really tall You know, and I'm like Wait, I mean, how tall do you think he is like six four? Yeah, I think I'm on the taller side of six four probably Yeah
Starting point is 00:29:53 He's a tall six four So I'm thinking about him keeping keeping me out of distance with the jab and like, you know, whatever bubble blah And I'm gonna have to get in close and like it would never go like that. No, I'm thinking about it professionally We'll watch pat fight after the show and you'll tell me if you could beat him up or not I don't know man. I I know that I'd have to get to sponsors. Yeah, but I don't know You might not be on the next round. I'm not getting on that thing. I'm not messing. This is the only thing I got Listen, let me get down to twang first before we start messing up the old face. That's true. God damn you, right? Once this goes this all goes. That's true. Everyone knows that
Starting point is 00:30:28 It's true. It's facts. All right Entertain the masses. Yo, yo, yo, my name is Danny can't understand me I got abandoned by my own family because I ate candy outside all alone What a guy named Andy touched me on my butthole when we were sleeping in the hotel room all alone And I was like, hey, can you stop that? He was like, hey, no, and I was like, hey, what's up? Was that a real story? No, I made it up for you. So Okay, sounded like there was pain behind it Anyway, uh, let's get to uh the sponsors after that
Starting point is 00:31:05 Let's get to the sponsors for today. We have a whole bunch. Uh, the first one we have is mvmt Okay, you ever been uh scrolling on your phone late at night? Yes, you what? You're watching tv. Oh, yeah Come on try another one. Yes Um Yeah, you ever been doing that and you know and you know like your eyes like so tired it burns your eyes Squint. Yeah, okay. Squint Tarantino. Okay I'm sick of you right now
Starting point is 00:31:39 But anyway, uh mvmt they started uh making this ever scroll blue light filtering glasses. I have a pair I use them in bed fan Yeah, and they're stylish too. And like I've seen other ones that like From other companies that like do what they do, but they look like you're working on a construction site. Yeah, these are stylish They do. Yeah, okay. They look like these exact glasses Yeah, they look like that. Um, and so they look like uh, like regular glasses There's no like yellow tint or anything like that. They just like I said, they look like that Um, but you can pick from like round frames clear frames
Starting point is 00:32:14 colored frames, um But yeah, it's it's good for your eyes because I mean, especially I also have contacts So like if I'm watching tv in the dark at night, I am just ruining my eyes more than they already are Yeah, um, but with the blue light glasses, uh, you know, it prevents from all that because it filters out all the bad stuff Which I don't even blue light. What is that? I don't know. I know it's bad. I don't know what it is I don't want it in me. I don't want it in me either. Uh, but ever ever scroll blue light filtering glasses They started just 65 dollars Um, whether you're like at the office on your phone or whatever
Starting point is 00:32:46 One of my buddies actually wears them like All the time because he works in front of a computer at an office So he's like I got the blue light because otherwise I'd be blind Um, but right now you can get 15 off today with free shipping and free returns By going to mvmt.com slash a basement. Um, that is mvmt.com Slash basement. Um, go get your ever scroll glasses people. Yeah, okay save your eyes get your ever scrolling glasses on I'm trying to yeah, that was really good. I'm trying
Starting point is 00:33:19 Uh, next we have harry's, okay harry's razors Um harry's founders two regular guys tired of getting ripped off and paying for overpriced gimmicks Okay, we're talking about razors here. Keep your beers looking fresh. Hmm. Maybe just shaving your whole face Even you know my mustache clean. Yeah, man. I'm gonna have to I might do mustache in november So I'm gonna have to shave jack. That's why Oh, man, what was that? I don't know what that was. What was that? I don't know. Sorry just stop trying to it's You got it. You got it. I'm sorry. You're doing stuff to me. Um, harry's makes quality durable blades blades at a fair price just two dollars per blade
Starting point is 00:34:00 Okay, and um, this summer refresh your wallet and your face with the harry's trial set It comes with a weighted handled for an easy grip a five blade razor with lubricating strip and trimmer blade for a closed shave Uh, rich lathering shave gel that will leave you smelling great. Love the smell good. I love to smell good even love smelling great And a travel blade cover to keep your razor dry and easy on the go And you can redeem that trial set at harry's dot com slash basement. Uh, again, that is harry's dot com slash Basement. Okay. Very good. Danny. I'm working. I'm trying All right. Next up. We had seek geek Okay, the buddy's over at seek geek. You need tickets to a concert
Starting point is 00:34:41 Football game football concert. Uh, I said concert concert baseball playoffs coming up Or you want to go a Broadway play get your play on or whatever you want to do You get it through a seek geek their interface. I find it very easy to use It's my only app that I use to buy tickets to be honest I may go to Chicago soon and I might hit up a Chicago Bears game Because they'll be there. I think the week that I'm I don't know I don't know who they're playing but uh, I know they're at home That'd be dope when you get there tell Mitch for basically throw touchdown, please. That'd be nice. Uh, yeah, I'll let him know
Starting point is 00:35:11 Yeah, um, but they have over 50,000 five star reviews on their, um app That's a lot. That's a lot. Um, but yeah, it like has this interactive map where it shows you like where a seat is What's a good price? What's a bad price if it's like red or dark red? Maybe stay away if it's dark green Cop that cop that quick. It's a good price for show. All right But seek geek will give you $10 off your first seek geek purchase All you need to do is use our promo code, which is basement But download the app and then use the promo code basement at checkout for $10 off your first purchase All right, papes
Starting point is 00:35:48 Go buy some ticks Next we have and lastly we have a buffy. Hmm. Buffy makes betting that is earth friendly and cruelty free I want to say this right now. So usually what happens with this, right? We have full disclosure They sent me a blanket Okay, buffy Mm-hmm Love this blanket. Yeah me too And I I don't know so it has stuff here that I'm supposed to read but I'm not really gonna do it
Starting point is 00:36:16 Okay, softer than cotton. It is very soft earth friendly I wouldn't have known but it that's nice Uh, and it's it's eucalyptus Oh eucalyptus uses 10 times less water than cotton to grow and its fiber is produced using recyclable earth friendly solvent See I'm saving the world by going to sleep basically But one thing I wanted to say is that it says somewhere over here. Oh no more night sweats. You can get cozy without overheating That's the biggest thing about this blanket. Yeah, dude
Starting point is 00:36:44 I'm a sweaty freak and I haven't sweat since I got my buff the buffy blanket stays cool like the entire time Yeah, which I don't know how But I'll take it. I was like, yo To the point where literally this is not a joke. I just bought their pillows. He did I saw him I just bought pillows because I was like, yo, I believe in this because The eucalyptus which is like a plant. I thought it was like a spell. No, no, no, but it's a plant Or a pokemon. Yeah, a wild eucalyptus has appeared. Yeah, exactly Uh, but they're they're amazing like I like now I need new pillows and I might get the bed sheets too
Starting point is 00:37:19 Whoo, and I didn't even hit a buffy on on the low like yo slide me some free stuff. I actually bought it With what? promo code, uh, which is coming up right now, uh for $20 off your buffy comforter because you can They have a comforter, which is what we're talking about. We got the blanket the comforter Very nice. Okay, you're in the market for a new blanket Bang you get $20 off your buffy comforter visit buffy.co and enter the code basement at checkout Okay, again, that is $20 off your buffy comforter visit buffy.co and enter basement, but to be completely honest Just
Starting point is 00:37:56 Change your whole bed up. Yeah word. It's buffy that shit Fuck's with buff. That's there. That's there like slogan. It's buffy that shit. Buffy that shit. It's not. Oh, I made that up What are you gonna do? You're marketing genius. I'm a marketing genius. Can I ask you a quick question? No, wait, okay What's up? Oh when you were a kid you and Keith slept in the same room, right? Yeah, did you guys have like a themed bedroom? No, no we had Well, like we had wallpaper. Okay, but it wasn't like yo we love The looney tunes and then your mom just like painted looney tunes all like all over No, we had wallpaper and I remember one specifically
Starting point is 00:38:36 But she stopped doing wallpaper because we used to pick that shit and she used to beat us for it Yeah, uh, but it was like sports So there was like bats and like baseballs, but it was like one strip It was like a pattern and then there was like the strip in the middle that had pictures of like sports and then another pattern Yeah, but that makes sense Right, but it wasn't was it wasn't like oh like we had bunk beds. It wasn't like all the ladders made out of bats Yeah, that's what i'm saying baseball bats not the flying animal Is that what a bat sounds like? That's not I don't that sounds like a really small mouse or a small cat
Starting point is 00:39:09 That sounded like a kitten. So they're called kittens Oh, right. Yeah a little bit Oh, I could be a cat. I want more That was bad. Sorry. Yeah, that one sounded like you smoked What was that? That sounded like a fart So I saw like uh, I saw something on instagram or something where You know these parents I like create like instagram handles for like their children, which is cool But like in my head, it's like kind of weird, but it's like cool. I guess wait, what you know
Starting point is 00:39:40 Like moms will have like hey, what's up? I'm a baby, but I have an instagram managed by my parents Oh, I know I haven't seen that you've never seen any instagram accounts like that like I've seen like dogs They're around it's like hey, what's up? I'm eight, but it's managed by so-and-so No, I haven't so I saw like a picture of a kid's room, right? I can't remember who and I also just don't want to like give this person the clout like you don't want to blow him up I don't want to blow up this eight-year-old because then I'm gonna have more competition No, I'm sorry. I feel you I can't compete with eight and cute. Yeah 13 ugly So what was the room uh, so the room was it was
Starting point is 00:40:19 Dinosaur themes, okay, okay, but everything in this kid's room was a dinosaur His bed was a dinosaur. Wait. It was it was shaped like a dinosaur No, it's not like you walked into like the mouth of a that fire that would but Everything in there like his bed was like made of like volcanic rock Yeah, it was like that and like his walls were painted like hand painted like artists came in and painted that shit This is white people shit. Oh, this is I was gonna say these are white 100% Caucasian family so they they they painted Like dinosaurs and all that shit and he had dinosaurs
Starting point is 00:40:53 There's pterodactyls and shit hanging from the ceiling and they had hanging pterodactyls. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah And he had like fucking light up fucking uh, not those stars, but like stickers you could put and all that shit I don't think I'll ever love my kid that much. It's not about loving your kid I don't know if anyone likes dinosaurs that much, but I like dinosaurs back in the day a lot. Trust me But I didn't like them after like three months. That's what I'm saying and the other thing is too is like I'm gonna come home from college and sleep in this room That's what I was saying. We're gonna have to change this up We're gonna have to switch this up get a new fucking artist in here and just paint this bitch blue
Starting point is 00:41:26 Yeah, that's it. Like listen, I shared a room with my brother. You know what I'm saying? Like we were lucky to have a lamp. That's what I'm y'all. I don't even know if I had a lamp That's what I'm saying. I just had the fucking the lights that had the with the fan I slept on a bed that was slanted like this for like five years. Yeah, dude. We had a fucking we had a bunk bed, but It it we weren't supposed to have a bunk bed because the the ceiling wasn't that high So if you woke up and sat up you fucking get a concussion off the ceiling you basically slept in a coffin Yeah, yeah, I could I could feel my breath hitting the ceiling and coming back into my mouth Have you ever fucked on one of those or they were gone before you started having sex?
Starting point is 00:42:02 I was like I was like eight. No, yo, some people be having bunk beds for a long time No, my brother went away to college, which was I don't even that's well, you know, whatever, but then we got we got regular beds But there was a time where me and Keith were sleeping in the same bunk bed Yeah, like this we were the on the bottom bunk and we slept we slept like, you know feet to face kind of shit Oh, you didn't go mouth to mouth. I was afraid that I would wake up cuddling and maybe accidentally kiss my brother or had that morning bone Or that I'm not dealing with Keith's morning bone. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, that's why I would have slept face to face Yeah, but um No, man, I had his feet feet feet to head bro. I slept there's a reason why you sleep feet to head
Starting point is 00:42:44 I slept next to feet for like years of my life That's that's cool child feet dude. We're outside playing in the yard with no sock song because we're crazy yucky icky girls feet So I am black feet black feet like just dirt like just just the bottom is just grow like an asphalt You know what he was sleeping with too dirty asphalt feet Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah one time we played basketball in Like in our alleyway, but the rim was garbage cans
Starting point is 00:43:15 I had a stomach virus. I threw up that night That's how dirty we were. Yeah, probably shouldn't have been playing in garbage. That's what I'm saying You know I'm saying like I wasn't that poor to be playing with a fucking you were a dirty little muskrat as a kid, weren't you? Yeah, hell yeah We like the dirty boys like the Santa Ana boys are always dirty. There's always a dirty kid in your school, right? Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, always a dirty kid and I was so bad for him. I'm like dude just like No, if it was up to you up a little bit Let's get this dirt off you if it was up to me though
Starting point is 00:43:45 I would have been one of the dirty boys But you know my parents would like beat me into the shower if I didn't you know Yeah, because even as a parent you're gonna you don't want your kid to be the stinky piece of shit at school No, I don't no You got to spray that kid. Yeah. Yeah, there was two like I remember there was one day though Like my parents are very on top of us as far as that goes and like what we wore and like made sure like whatever like I wasn't rolling to school with like a do rag on well. No, I what I'd like eight I don't know. No
Starting point is 00:44:16 Uh Keith one time It was picture day And I guess my dad was just like whatever And we have a picture in our house of him and he's got an ultimate warrior t-shirt on that's fire When he's got the rope and he's like Yeah, wild color. That's awesome. Yeah, I have my mom was so fucking mad. I have one of the worst pictures of all time
Starting point is 00:44:40 And I'm gonna post it when this episode comes out. We'll post it on the baseman yard page It is single-handedly the worst The worst school photo of all time. Why it's so bad. Yo, so I didn't know I used to have really long hair I didn't know that uh You had to wash it that I had to no like no, I just like have it be like presentable I was wearing a hat that day And my hair was long And it was like, yo, we got to go take pictures now. Yeah, and I was like fuck. So me I'm doing this thing
Starting point is 00:45:11 I'm doing the cat thing. Oh my god. You're like a cat. Yeah, I'm trying to get it So it's basically I can't explain how bad it is but think about like A little Spanish boy like the jungle book like the jungle book with a comb over Yeah, and then a smile like this No teeth. No teeth No teeth Damn, yeah Yeah, I used to have to show teeth my my my mom would get mad
Starting point is 00:45:39 Is there like a thing like you got to show teeth when you smile? Yeah, my mom was was very big on that. Why? I don't know Because it like doesn't make you look happy I wasn't I don't want to take this picture. My mom used to be like you can't wear ankle socks Yeah, I was like, what the fuck are you talking about you crazy old witch? One time I came home from the barber and I got pointed sideburns. Oh, it's a wrap. Yeah, my dad Literally almost shaved them off my head
Starting point is 00:46:08 How far down what is this? Huh? How far down did it go? It wasn't that far. It wasn't like a crazy It was like maybe like To hear. Yeah, all right. Like it wasn't it wasn't anything crazy. That's about as hood as you got with your hair I'll tell you what what that's about it like as hood as you got with your hair. Also, there was another time that's go baby my my my No one even believes me to this day But there was one time I was I went to the bar because I used to get a bus cut So you should line me up and he like went to do the side over here and knit my eyebrow
Starting point is 00:46:38 So I had that thing in your eyebrow and you remember when that shit was mad hood We like, you know, you get a thing in your eyebrow fabulous had like three of them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so, uh I had one of those and everyone thought like I did it on purpose And I was like, yo, I almost get the shit like that to me for pointed sideburns You think I'm gonna mess with my eyebrow my dad would kill him People just come out with you like whoo Yo, that was hot I see you dawg. I see you. Let's see this fire. Yo, my dad won't let me do that
Starting point is 00:47:04 Yeah, and that's basically, you know, you did that. You asked. I swear to god. I didn't Yo, you're here. I remind your eyebrow mad far apart, yo Hey, man, dude was rushing and all this shit I cut for you Yeah, yeah, what do you want? I got it. Yeah, we do one. You want one lightning ball? No, I do That's what he said. I used to not even be able to we used to get my haircut by russians Those motherfuckers wouldn't even let me suggest what haircut I was about to get like I just sit in the chair and he'd be like I got a good don't worry about it. I got and I'm like, bro. Let me tell you what I want first
Starting point is 00:47:33 You know, because he was just gonna cut the shit and then that's what I was gonna have It's weird. It's like that's how they roll. It's weird Oh, yeah, russians cut what russians want. Yeah. Yeah, it's like I'll fix I'm like fix Nothing, I just want to tell you like, you know, what I had long hair for a while I used to get abraded for like sports and stuff Yeah, I don't know if I could ever grow my hair out that long Yeah, it was really really long So like I would have like basically cornrows like when I would play sports if I were to grow my hair out very long
Starting point is 00:48:01 I would have to be really hot and tan If you get down the tonk, you might have to grow that hair though That's what I'm saying like if I if I get like ripped up and like I'm in really good shape to the point Right when I take my shirt off people are like Okay, I can see that guy's like in really good shape Like to that point where it's like obvious Then I'll grow my hair out because then I could like have a dumb hair cut Yes, and then people would be like, oh, it doesn't matter though because everything else is kind of working
Starting point is 00:48:27 But right now I can't just like add long hair to this shit. No, I don't know That would be like midlife crisis show. Yeah, they'd be like, yo, what are you doing? I just you know Yeah, just just an otter with hair. You know what I mean? You don't want that. No. Yeah Can't You could you could pull it off. I also don't know if my hair's like straight It might be curves. What's the longest you ever grew your hair? My hair was mad long just a little while ago Never that I I can't remember the last time my hair was that long. It's never been long Like Keith kind of has has he's had long hair before
Starting point is 00:48:58 He's had long hair before it looks like his hair goes star and show you look at one of the beetles I'm serious He looks like he could have been in the beetles Yeah, right Like if you were to throw he looks like somebody from the 1950s Like if you throw it back like he could have been in the beetles in the 60s 70s Yeah, yeah, yeah with like those like bell bottoms and fucking 100 even like before that like the I want to hold your hand beetles black and white
Starting point is 00:49:25 Yeah, I know what you're talking about Imagine how big they would be with like twitter and instagram Remember how big they were Yeah, and like girls used to pass out and die just from being happy or whatever. That was insane. Yeah Talk about being able to fuck whatever you want, huh? I'll be honest with you. I'm not attracted to any of them I don't get the sex appeal none of them were good-looking. They got up there with like bowl cuts and suits. Yeah, I'm like these guys look like They're doing taxes up there Yeah, and people would suck like three albums out of John Lennon's dick and like no hesitation dad. I get
Starting point is 00:50:01 He was good No, they were all good, but it's just like I don't know. Yeah, that's also like what's his name fucking uh from the stones Why can't I think of his name? Jagger? Yeah, Mick Jagger Jagger. I feel like has like a little more sex appeal than like Paul McCartney. I mean, yeah, he does but it's because he wears leather pants and like struts his bulge around on stage But Mick Jagger just looks like an old tired woman Yeah, who looks more old and tired him or Steven Tyler. They look like the same person. Yeah, I think they just split gigs now Yeah, they look like they stopped in the middle of a transition Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, dude, that's what it looks like
Starting point is 00:50:47 What they look very womanly it's like they got to the fifth inning started really just called it off. Yeah, they like forget it I'm tired. I'm gonna go home Fucking ref like this. Yeah, it's like chill chill chill chill. That's it. That's it. That's it That's what it looked like. Yeah, it did. Um one thing I wanted and they crush it and I love them both Yeah, you could save it. You're good. I'm not I love I mean, it's very well documented that Ariel Smith and rolling stones are amazing Yeah, of course Of course I can stay awake
Starting point is 00:51:16 Also, Steven Tyler doesn't even have like a good voice, but it works. I know neither does Mick Jagger They're the same guy They don't have great voices, but it just works and they're rock and roll Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, I would say Steven Tyler has a better voice Okay, but yeah, Mick Jagger's like I'm like, yeah, you just like got a red dough But I want to paint it black. He sounds like a ghost. Yeah, he does. They're like he does sound like a scary ghost Yeah, he's just like
Starting point is 00:51:50 And you're like, all right, can I just Can you raise your hand? I'm really hot. I'm sweating. You're sweating profusely. Yeah, I'm getting after it. Yeah, yeah But it's okay. Um, the other thing I wanted to say was uh, there was an article that I read and I sent it to you About a hundred canisters of bullseye been exploding. Did you get that one at 3 a.m? Yeah, yeah, yeah actually posted about it because uh What a ridiculous text to wake up to yeah, so 20 in the morning Uh hundred. What was it a hundred pounds a hundred liters? It was a hundred
Starting point is 00:52:20 uh like What do they call what do they call those things silos Not silos, but you're fucking close, dude. Where they put like corner in or whatever. Is it cylinders? cylinders No, I'm pretty sure it's silos. Is it silos? No silos That's like a tall thing. Yeah. Yeah. It was a
Starting point is 00:52:44 Fire at cattle breeding facility in australia destroyed at least 100 cylinders of bull semen How much is in each cylinder it sounds like a lot of bull semen Well, I think if if you're coming into a cylinder It's probably upwards. That's a cylinder. That's what i'm saying. It's probably that's a lot of jizz Yeah, of course, dude. How long would it take you to fill that up with jizz? Five months. No, are you in sturdier being funny? Yeah, I should roast up. I'm not that kind of rope You know how much fucking semen how what about peter north?
Starting point is 00:53:24 What do you think peter how long would it take peter north philis? Oh, maybe eight days eight days? Yeah, that guy was that guy was coming like crazy. I wish I had the whatever That would take me like two years I see like like when we were talking about like superpowers at one time I would want to I just want like a superpower like that man. Just like be able to shoot fat ass ropes. It's all I want Okay Well, I know to get you for your for your birthday. No, stop Are you serious? All right. I'm trying to find out how many how many ounces were in these cylinders
Starting point is 00:53:57 Um Fire part should have done this a while ago, you know, yeah, but I don't like to pull the phone out during during I'm talking about before you showed up. Oh, if you knew we're gonna talk about this one This our article is even better though because it says firefighters forced to dodge projectiles Oh, there was like aftershock Yeah, man, you had the dodge cylinder Fucking shrapnel come shrapnel. Wait, wait, wait, wait
Starting point is 00:54:22 Let me get this straight. Yeah in australia There's a bunch of cylinders. Yeah a hundred cylinders. Yeah filled with bullseaman. Yeah And there was an explosion. Mm-hmm at 3 a.m. And when these people showed up to the scene There was more explosions. Yeah, and there's and there were dodging coming shit Yeah, because it's like, you know, like if something flammable catches fire during a fire like I'm putting out the fire We better hope it doesn't get to this flammable come. You know what I'm saying? And then it's like skedarsh and then the fucking come shrapnels everywhere. That's what happened So a huge fire a cattle breeding facility in australia is called stout hunt. Uh, no thousands wait
Starting point is 00:55:01 Why do you need that much come anyway? Are you like are they breeding? Yeah, it's a breeding facility So they're just fucking artificially inseminating shooting jizz and everything Uh, that's a lot of cylinders. That's a lot of come. Yeah, so it started out as a fire It took 10 fire crews to put out that burning come More than two hours to fully extinguish the fire and the come after it broke out around 3 a.m. Local time Okay, mm-hmm A spokesman A spokesman from the county fire authority told daily mail
Starting point is 00:55:32 Australia that the fire had in quotes completely shredded the building Yeah, oh man Uh, no way. I'm saying this guy's name right, but it's count country fire authority gipselin commander Whatever the fuck that means. What the hell chris low shouldn't call So the crew his name is a lotion call. Yeah, low shank all Oh lotion. It's basically a lotion call. Oh, yeah, I did. Yeah Uh, the crew had to be wary of projectiles coming at them while they were tackled by the blaze Damn that that fire was coming on those dudes
Starting point is 00:56:12 Yeah, dude cylinders those cows were coming all over the liquid inside the cylinders was rapidly expanding And essentially the lids of the cryogenic is frozen jizz. Obviously you have to freeze. Oh, yeah, obviously Yeah, you have to freeze it. Um We're just popping off the top and projectiles were being thrown from the building So the heat was forcing the lid that the cum lid because the cum was expanding the cum was expanding Cum expands when exposed to heat. Well, no, I think that it it gets smaller when it's frozen And then when you you know, you expose it to an explosion and it gets hot it starts to expand pop the top And we got overflowing jizz all over the place. Yes, you have jizz first of all shooting out of the building
Starting point is 00:56:53 Yeah, jizz is shooting out. Yeah. Yeah out of there And then the actual projectiles are probably the shrapnel from the cylinders like exploding and expanding I wonder if they stuck to them when they got their video of this this cum shooting building Uh, there is but it's like post it's like post dramatic all the cum has been eradicated. You know, yeah So it's like it's not the best shot of cum That sucks. Yeah They said the fire is the fire the fire uh company didn't know what to do because they've never been uh Exposed to something like this. Yeah, okay. Okay. Yeah liars
Starting point is 00:57:29 Uh said the loss of a hundred chirogenic cylinders of cattle semen will be a huge blow It's for the farmers. Can you write anything better? Can you have a better quote? It was a huge blow It's a huge blow to cattle farmers. It was a huge blow. Yeah 100 cylinders. You're blowing. How much do you think that cum cylinder cost? You know, yeah $5,000 Okay, the actual cylinders themselves are worth between 500 dollars. Okay, I went too high and 1000 per unit But the semen inside them varies in price. So there was
Starting point is 00:58:11 More expensive cum that blew up in there Probably like your price cows cum and then you got like your lower barrel. It has like a fucked-up ankle Yeah, yeah, not good genetic cum over here. So it could have easily been a 5000 barrel $5,000 barrel of jits. Yeah That's a lot of money you lost Yeah, man, I didn't even know cum fars existed dude 100 barrels times a thousand That's devastating. That's a devastating blow. That's a huge blow to these cum farmers, man. Yeah
Starting point is 00:58:43 Uh, I just I am now Like newly aware That there is a cum industry 70% of the farmers income comes from that cum Comes from that cum 70% of their income comes from cum. Yes Damn, dude, you just lost a hundred fucking cylinders You lost a hundred cylinders of fucking liquid gold. Wait, how did this even start? Like would did someone like leave a like the furnace on or they said it was electrical, but who would
Starting point is 00:59:13 People play dirty when it comes to the cum game, you know what I'm saying Bull cum might just spontaneously combust Maybe but I feel like, you know, there's there's people playing dirty I think that farmer fell into some bad people and they were like, dude, if you don't pay up We're gonna come here and fucking burn your cum, dude. Yeah, and he was like called their bluff They showed up in the middle of the night and fucked burned his jizz farmed down, dawg It's a classic case I mean, it's open and shut. It's open shut open and shut
Starting point is 00:59:41 I know burnt that cum can't say but I know did it You can confidently say yeah, for sure. I'll tell you off here. I was gonna say yeah What's the cum's boiling point? We should boil our jizz see if it expands. I don't want to smell that. Yeah, it's probably gross I mean not in here. I'll do it at your apartment. Yeah. Yeah, that's fine It's probably that smells terrible, dude You ever burn hair? Yeah, it's probably way worse than that. Oh, yeah. I used to burn hair Off of the front of my head Like I used to like
Starting point is 01:00:15 I mean Mike used to just like do it just burn your hair just like set on fire and then like put ourselves out That's a fun game. Yeah, it's stupid You've done shit like that though come on that on my arm. Yeah, I've never burned my Scalp my brother once gave himself a smiley face. You know what that is I remember with the lighters they had like the circle It looked like this like a clown and then it had the two things like that What like the top of a lighter? No So it would have like one thing to look like a smile the hole where the thing came out
Starting point is 01:00:46 And then they had like two eyes here for you to flick. Okay And he let that burn for like three minutes once and put it on his arm And like seared a clown face. Yeah That's a good idea. Yeah. Is it still there? Yeah. Should I really? Yeah, I should ask him about it. Which one? Mike? Really? Yeah I'm gonna need a picture of that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I should ask him fucking idiot. That was amazing That was amazing, but uh speaking of idiots Uh, I saw this thing on twitter too, uh about this portable chair going around. Oh my fucking god
Starting point is 01:01:17 Yeah, the portable chair is probably my favorite thing out right now Yeah, just so everyone knows there is an invention that shouldn't have been invented There's a portable chair that people I don't know if people are wearing it. I don't think so, but you attach these bionic Fucking legs to your ass. Yeah, and then you could just sit down whenever. Yeah, which I will say one The one of the laziest things we're a fat ass country. Why are we getting fatter by just like no exercise Just sit for every reason. Yeah, and then you just have bionic legs dangling From your body like it looks like they're going mountain climbing. It also looks like they're not walking comfortably though They're walking like like they've got dangly
Starting point is 01:01:59 Fucking titanium legs behind them. That's what it looks like. It looks like they're trying to be a spider It's like you're not going to be a spider Jerry I think some people just aspire to be ahead of the curve of other people And even though that thing is fucking ridiculous, they'll do it just so people ask them. What what is that? But like I have never gone through life Being like I wish there was a chair here right now. When has that happened? How many times can you say that? Other than being like a parade
Starting point is 01:02:25 A parade a parade or something I started yeah, I know you did may but that's like it like there are many days. I'm like damn I need a chair. Yeah, I think there's an abundance of chairs. Yeah, you can find a chair if you need a chair That's what I'm saying. I think there's chair. I think we're good with the chairs I also like how the one guy sat this angle and literally just went like this Turned and then sat to like open his fridge and then like yeah They were showing a video of a guy and he like sat to open his fridge like who needs to sit then Just stand up. Just walk to the fridge. Yeah, you're five inches from your fucking from every you own 10 chairs and a couch
Starting point is 01:03:03 You know what else is shit a standing desk All of these fucking hippies and they're standing desks Sit down my posture. I'm working on just just take a seat. Just sit down. It's not good my back My personal trainer was just sit, you know, it's not good standing for 13 hours a day Oh, and it's like it moves and it's like you look you can you can adjust to high Just sit out of desk sit at a desk also the people that sit On those chairs that are just a giant medicine ball. Yeah, that's stupid too. It's not playtime. No, this isn't McDonald's Get a chair. Yeah, I would rather you have a bionic these bionic legs behind you
Starting point is 01:03:45 I would use that bionic chair if it was in my office. I wouldn't walk around with it Like these these people strap it you have to strap it like you're about to go rock climbing and they walk like this And first of all people are gonna be like, oh my god, this poor guy like if I see it I'm gonna think that guy has like spinal bifida. Yeah, or like cerebral palsy or something I was like this fucking poor guy these guys this guy is an inspiration. Yeah, so I and then out of nowhere He's an asshole. Yeah, you're like, oh no, it's like, oh sir. Do you know he's like, no, it's just my chair. Yeah You're like, what? Yeah, I got tons of chairs also the weight limits 260. I'm pushing it. Yeah, those things would be fucking buckling I'd be like, oh my fucking yeah, it'd be like a shaky can of soda ready to fucking explode. Yeah
Starting point is 01:04:30 shaky You ever see that in like cartoons and they would shake up soda and be like Yeah, just vibrating. Yeah Um, but yeah, I think I think like why are we creating this but like listen a part of me wants to be like, all right That's like in somewhat somewhat. It's not even practical though. No, no, but that's what I'm saying like it's an inventive idea Sure, it's cool. Cool, but it's not practical. I'm not strapping that shit up. No before I come here I gotta take an uber here or a train Yeah, I would actually exert more energy
Starting point is 01:05:00 Strapping on these fucking metal legs so I could sit down on them. Yeah, you're fuck. Yeah, your piece of shit if you own that though God, I'm not I'm not I'm not one of those people to like knock like people's ideas But that's not that's not even a good idea to me. It's not a portable chair. No, you're not they're not scarce We got chairs. We got chairs, dude. Make something else You know what they should do. You know what they should happen So I think eventually this is gonna happen But you know in the in the airport how they have like just those random fucking Like kiosk not like escalators, but they're like flat and you just walk on them
Starting point is 01:05:39 Yeah, just get you there fast a little faster. Yeah First of all hilarious because it's like literally maybe 20 yards It's like did I really save a lot of time here? I love those things by the way just gonna go on record I feel like I'm flying. I always look to my right and like I am moving But I feel like those are gonna be on the sidewalk yo I'd be all in for that though. I'd be down too. I feel like that should be done before We're we're strapping metal fucking legs to our asses. Yeah, but you also walk up an escalator which fucking infuriates me
Starting point is 01:06:12 Why I'm trying to get there. No, that defeats the purpose take the stairs. Do you want to get up there? That's not the purpose. The purpose is to cut time between stairs. No, no, no Yes, it's too it's too there's two lanes on escalators There's a right lane and then there's the left lane for fucking dicks like you Yeah that are in shape and want to walk up a floating But you know how hard people had them fucking work to make that escalator work You're just gonna laugh in their face and walk up it. I get to the top very fast
Starting point is 01:06:41 I understand but you're laughing the face of fucking Mechanics and people that went in there and fixed that shit. Just you take the stairs then I No, I'm trying to get up there fast Do you run upstairs? Sometimes I run upstairs But I don't always run out. I haven't run upstairs in a while. I hate stairs Yeah
Starting point is 01:07:03 Now I did the math. I live on the 11th floor, right? Mm-hmm to get to my apartment There's 12 stairs per floor So If I had to do that every day walking up So 132 stairs, I think that's way more than that. Well 12 by 12 times 12 was 144 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right Um, I only know that because I used to look in the back of notebooks. Oh, wasn't that awesome fucking cheat sheets on there?
Starting point is 01:07:36 There's a time table, but I was like, what's 12 times 12 because that's the highest number and I just knew 144 Oh, and I hope that's right Yeah, that's right. Yeah, so 132 steps. So 132 steps Now they're not just steps though. No, they're fucking you're climbing. You're climbing. Yeah, so it's harder So do you think that if I just did that every day? Nothing would happen. No, no, no, and I ate right Yeah, ate like super clean. No, and I did that every day. Do you think my cardio would get better? Um, yes, but you'd plateau very fast because that's not a lot of steps
Starting point is 01:08:10 But if I crushed it like I think like it would be something where you could do it once you started being able to do it You would get bigger calves. No, no, no, I'm not saying about getting bigger. I know that I know that but I'm saying that would be the effect No, but you could do it faster Then I could run up them okay It's still only 132 steps, right? But if you do it faster your heart rate's gonna be beating faster, isn't it or you could just go up and down That's what I'm or yeah, or you could do that. Yeah. I mean, that's why there's the stair master
Starting point is 01:08:41 Dude the stair master is not is not it's not real What the stair master isn't real How is that not real because it's way too dangerous first of all and also also it's way more hard to go up a stair master than Is regular stairs. No, it's not. Yes, it is go walk up regular stairs and then go walk up a stair master Why is it different because the incline is a little bit different and then if you hang on too long You slip off the back of it. That's why you gotta keep walking. That's what I'm saying stairs At least you could be like, yo, there's a railing a real one and then you could be like, whoa, you know I'm saying maybe I go back down the stairs. You could fuck kill yourself on a stair. I mean a stair master
Starting point is 01:09:16 I wouldn't recommend it to people who aren't super coordinated. That's what I'm saying Yeah, or even super in shape you have to graduate to a stair master getting off of the stair master I think is harder than anything. Yeah But it's not you can't compare a stair master to regular stairs stair master way harder When was the last time you did a stair master probably like six months ago seven months ago How how how many steps you do way harder than regular stairs Because you're doing it at an accelerated pace. That's what I'm saying But if I'm running up like, you know, if I'm running up 12 floors
Starting point is 01:09:50 From walking my cardio is improved Yeah, sure. That's what I'm saying, but I'm saying just doing that. How did this even start? I don't know. But what I'm saying is like, yo 132 steps Even if you sprint it every day eventually you're just gonna plateau Yeah, you would have to do it a couple times a couple more times a day. It's not that much cardio It's not You're fat twang. Who are you telling anybody about? You said I was a twang though. Yeah, dude, you'll always be twang to me. I'm never gonna let you leave that zone
Starting point is 01:10:23 No, I gotta get down. I'm not gonna call you if you want. I'll call you an otter But I'm not gonna I don't want to do it. I don't I don't identify as that. That's what I'm saying Yeah, so I'm gonna keep you in the twang family because I fucking believe in you dog Thanks You got it Yeah, man, how do we get from bullcum the running upstairs? I don't know man, but I'm all I'm I love the stair master I was on it today. Yeah, but the stair master shit, man Dude, I did I did the empire state building on the stair master once
Starting point is 01:10:51 That was terrible. Yeah, like why? I don't know. You still gonna run the marathon? No, that's over No, hell yeah, I I there was you know, you know, dude, there's always next year, man No, I know but like what the thing is though with the marathon it is so Hard Like the physical part is hard. Yes, but and the whatever the actual physical running and training is like whatever But it's so hard to just stay Focused on that you're working towards that every single day and be like
Starting point is 01:11:25 Whatever and like because life gets in the way things happen You get busy at work. You have this and that and then you just like oh, I can't do it today And then you fall off the wagon It's like that is like the hardest part for me because like getting into shape Like if I could just do it every day and like be hyper focused on it and like whatever it's obviously possible Why can't you? Yeah, I don't know. It's hard things just get in the way like your life gets in the way. It's a whole fucking sounds like excuses dog Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah it is
Starting point is 01:11:51 It is an excuse, but it's like a legitimate like this what I'm saying the reason why it wasn't because like, you know, whatever It's just it's how about this reason. I don't want to run that far. I do though. I do want to do it If I get I I seriously I seriously want to do it I want to do it. How far how far do you think you get this year? You could probably do it this year I could it theoretically like do it. It would take me like fucking It's five and a half six hours probably how warm are you right now? Like in terms of like if we were to go outside right now, how far could I go? How far could you go running? um
Starting point is 01:12:29 Maybe three miles I would give you I would give you more than that three miles. I would give you like four Maybe four and a half. It would depend how badly I want to like prove how far it can run. Yeah, how slow can I run? I don't know. No, I don't have to run. No, no, no, but like can I like jaw like bees like slow? Like can I put like a like a lap in that's like what's the slowest lap I'm allowed? I don't know Not 15 minutes I could run a mile 15 minutes. Yeah, I would hope I can walk a mile. That's what I'm saying Yeah, I could probably run like
Starting point is 01:13:05 a 12-minute mile no, I could beat that I could beat that if I know I'm just doing one mile I could smoke a 12-minute mile Okay, but if you're saying like two or three miles, I'm at the dial. I'll be honest with you I think I think you're like I think Or what do you think you would go if you right now today had to run a marathon? No, we had we were running one No, and it would take me like four hours if we went to the track right now. Yeah, could I run a mile? Like I mean you could run a mile or you could walk it if you want
Starting point is 01:13:37 But like how fast do you think you'd do it if you knew you're only running one? It's four laps at the track How long would it take you? If you only knew you were running one Like 9 30 Really, I think you'd be higher than that. No, I do We could do it. I'll do it. Yeah. Yeah, I'll do it If I know I have to run one mile and that's it. I could do it at 9 30 right. Yeah 10 max
Starting point is 01:14:06 I think it's harder than you think. No, it's not And that's the other thing too treadmills are bullshit A mile on a treadmill shit a mile on a track is better than yeah That's what I'm saying like you're really going through because you actually have to see like running on the streets of new york city Yeah, we'll go to a track because running on concrete and running on treadmill are different things. It does different things to your body Let's pick a date. I'll run a sub 10 mile You'll run a sub 10 mile. I'll run a sub 10 mile if you pick a date
Starting point is 01:14:35 Do we like you're gonna train for it or what? Fuck no What that defeats the purpose. So why am I picking a date? I'll just pick a date. I'll go out there run it I'll go out there on it. I don't know if the track's open over there yet. Whatever it is, but Can I use my inhaler Before what about during During yeah, it's still a little if you want it's like asthmatic spinach. I definitely wouldn't I definitely wouldn't want you to like hurt yourself. I'm not gonna hurt myself. I'm not running. I'm jogging a sprint I would hurt myself
Starting point is 01:15:08 Like I could I got a hammy holding on by a goddamn Angel hair pasta that's about as much as I got there that thing's just waiting to go out on me Yeah, but I think I could break tent I don't know because dude if I walk a mile in less than 20 minutes 10 minutes a long time dude. Yeah, but running also like I don't know man. I'm telling you you got to believe me. I'll beat 10 minutes If I get around I would have to do the second lap
Starting point is 01:15:42 Do you think you could run a mile without stopping? Yeah Yeah, I've never not been able to do that Okay, dude if I get out there and go here. I'm good. Okay. I'm good. I'm just worried about These that's the only thing if I'm not sprinting I could do it How do I know you don't fake one of these injuries so I won't because you can't breathe. No, I won't You could you'll be able to tell the difference I'd be at my hamstring hurts I'll be like
Starting point is 01:16:10 You'd be like, no, that's your lungs dude. Yeah, Danny's like, you know, I'm good It's my knee. It's my knee, man No, dude, if you let me like just warm up I could I could do 10 I could I could do sub 10. Do you think you'd go faster if we ran next to each other like sea biscuit? Um Take the blinders off them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think if we we started together if we started together? Yeah Yeah, it would help me keep a pace Yeah, yeah, yeah, because like I'd be able to like So if I ran a mile with you at like a nine minute pace, what do you usually run miles?
Starting point is 01:16:45 What's the fastest you think you could run a mile in right now? Uh, six minutes seven minutes Just under eight just under eight. I don't know. Yeah, I don't really ever run for that. Yeah, but like three minutes Three and a half minutes on a mile time. That's a shit loaded. Yeah, it is that's what I'm saying but it's also just about like Having the wind to do a mile Dude, I remember when I first started it was hard to run a mile Straight. Yeah, it's tough. Yeah
Starting point is 01:17:13 We'll go on a treadmill and we'll do that one first and we'll see we'll see where the time is at Okay, but you could set and know like okay. I'm at this time. Yeah, like whatever. Yeah Like I usually run to run a 10 minute mile. What's the speed you think? Huh, like you know how there's like a speed on the side of the treadmill. Well, it's a It's a it would be a six no it'd be a six, right? I get you to six Yes, once you get up to that 7.4 range now you're fucking with me. You know, I'm saying I usually run just like like an 830 When I'm at the gym like running. Yeah, but I won't run like A seven something. I'm fucking I'll die
Starting point is 01:17:54 I'll do that like in intervals You know, I I don't know like I used to be able to just run forever. I've I've ran like a six 40 mile before Yeah, do you know what how crazy that is a six 40 mile? Right, which is I that was the best I've ever ran a mile. I've ran faster and then people have done it A minute and 40 seconds faster than that. There is this there was this kid lance That's insane. There was this kid lance In my high school that ran it in like 545. Yeah, dude, that's insane and it was
Starting point is 01:18:28 unbelievable and I was like, yo like My thing was is like I always wanted to have a sub seven mile before Camp would start football camp, right? So I would get there and be like, dude, if it's like 759.9999 sub seven keep it. Yeah This kid used to fucking just lap us during mile runs. I think one time you hit like Like 530 something like something ridiculous But like, yeah, I think I could get a 10 minute mile You don't want to like train a little bit beforehand. I'll stretch defeats the purpose get the fat ass out there start chucking
Starting point is 01:19:07 You know what I'm saying? Yeah, chucking and trucking down that fucking thing You got shoes on you. Yeah Do I have shoes on me? No, you're talking to dogs. You got sneakers on you. I mean, I got oh on me right now No, I've Birkenstocks. I might run a barefoot to be honest You're definitely not I'm definitely taking that over then. Oh, no, I'll go fucking like full Nigerian. I'll go fucking like Kenyon Yeah, I'm gonna go full Fucking third world running out there like a monster. You have the tracks kind of pointy. Is it? Yeah, it's brand new though I don't I want to go check and see if it's open. I want to go when it's a little cooler
Starting point is 01:19:43 Me and 84 degrees don't don't we have to go in the morning? Yeah, if we went in the morning, I'll do it It's perfect because it's breezy out straight by the water. So it's also cool. I'm also my peak energy Yeah, so I'll just be able to get out there take a little fucking And then just run up and run that line So where's that happens? I die cares I can't drag you out of there. Yeah, you can I don't know You got to get one of those fault in recovery systems where you just strap me to a balloon just shoots me off in the air I'll bring a fucking defibrillator. Yeah, or or flair or something. Well, we'll be fine
Starting point is 01:20:17 We'll be fine. I have to get a stress test done anyway. So I'm they're gonna make me run there I'm not gonna make you run a 9-minute mile. No, but they make you fucking run though How fast do you think you could run it like like if your your best right now is what? Like if you weren't aiming for under 10 because That would mean like then you'd be like, oh if I'm at 9 15 like I could take this last life You know I'm saying like if you were like I'm gonna fucking go like Well, this is gonna have to be a santa gala studios video now
Starting point is 01:20:50 What you run in a mile. Yeah, of course. Um The fastest I could run it 9 minutes, okay the fastest But I'm trying to just beat sub 10, okay I Kind of want to just see you run it by yourself. Yeah, let me run it by myself. Fill me fill me Do you want to watch so you know how you're running? I'll put my apple watch on Does it have like a pace? Yeah, it has a pace and it has like a timer and all that shit
Starting point is 01:21:23 Yeah, because that's so important too I used to like give people shit for running with watch you fall behind But it's like if you don't know how fast you're going like that my problem honestly was running too fast And that doesn't and not because I'm fast, but because I'm burning out so fast Yeah, so I'd be running like a 730 pace and I'm like, why am I so fucking tired? I'm like three laps in Yeah, I'm gonna have to like crush a banana before too. Just so I don't cramps up Yeah, man Suck down a banana drink some water get back out there sip water. Don't drink it. Yeah, because then you'll cramp
Starting point is 01:21:57 I got it. My focus forget. I was an athlete dog It was was the keyword But yeah, I mean we'll pick a nice round date and we'll go out there We'll film it and then we'll upload it see for the people let the people see it You want to do it sometime in october? Yeah, let's do it. Uh, I think you should get out there and move a little bit And not just all right. Okay You know I'm saying so why don't we do it the week before we go to nashville. All right So let's do it
Starting point is 01:22:27 Friday october 25th Okay, right. What day do we leave we leave the next week, right? Yes. Yeah, so we can do it friday If we can't do it that friday, we'll do it that monday Let's go sub 10 right sub 10 sub 10 Hashtag sub 10 hashtag sub 10s in the chat I don't mind letting you like train until then because any like I'll sneak I'll sneak off I'll sneak off a 250 Pound man running a sub 10. It's still a hard thing to do. Yeah, but you know life is hard You know what I mean when you're right. You're right when you're right. You're right
Starting point is 01:23:04 And then also I look at it like this if I don't run a sub 10 Then I got work But that could be a stepping stone. I kind of almost wish I don't I don't run the sub 10 So you could work up to the work up to the sub 10 and then we start subbing nine Now you're getting crazy. Yeah, man. We start fucking we start getting after the track We should just start going with the track. No, I'll die I'll die
Starting point is 01:23:25 I'm telling you man. You get here an hour early. We go to the track. We run for 20 minutes and we're good We can do workouts to do intervals. Damn dude. Call me out. I'm just saying I'm hey, man If I have someone else with me like then I have to go. I feel you. I feel you pay for my gym membership It's not a it's a track. Will you pay for my gym membership? I'll I'll live with you No, if you pay for my gym membership, I'll live with you. I'm not going to pay for your gym See it doesn't want me to get healthy. He wants me to die speaking of dying though. How much time we got? I don't know. We're at an hour 23. Oh, okay. All right. I just wanted to talk about this one last thing, but uh October 25th it's going down. Okay. All right
Starting point is 01:24:03 Be there or be square. We should probably get like some kind of medical professional there though Just to make sure this is what I'm saying. You should run beforehand. No, man. I'm getting out there I don't need that shit 30 years old not 50. I know but I just don't want the first time you run You're fucking running for like competition. It's not competition If I'm if my preparation is right, that's what I'm saying, but the preparation up here aren't you gonna stretch physical prep? Or you're going to be like a horse horses will run until they have a heart attack and die. Well Go out on a blaze of glory then Unless you hit on you imagine you could do an 11 minute mild die at the end. Well, you didn't do it
Starting point is 01:24:43 10 Two and a half minute lapse two and a half minute lapse that's not Like no, but I just need to have two good laps So you're going to try and get under 230. You're going to have to try and do two minute two two My first two laps my strides are going to have to be a little longer. Right then I could shorten them up around third And then the fourth I got to put in work in the first half of the track Then I could or I could put it in the second half depending on where the clocks
Starting point is 01:25:14 I always sprint at the end. Yeah, so if I could just get there, I might have to jump for the line, but I think I could do it Could be a photo. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's gonna be a photo finish for sure. I fucking hope Uh, but yeah, I just wanted to get to this one story a man died while diving underwater to propose to his girlfriend Is she a mermaid? Why why was he? Was she under the water? Well, they went to this place where you can have like rooms that are underwater It's called uh, yeah Yeah, I've seen those those are tan Tanzania. It's in Tanzania. Okay. It's off the coast Tanzania So the couple traveled there from Louisiana. They stayed at the luxury place where you could eat and sleep underwater
Starting point is 01:25:58 um My god, this is what the note said you want to hear he put a note on the glass So say there's a glass here And I'm proposing to you and I put my hand on the glass with the note, right? Yeah, it goes I can't hold my breath long enough to tell you everything I love about you But everything I love about you. I love more every day He said in a note pressed against the glass Will you please be my wife? Marry me question mark question mark question mark
Starting point is 01:26:31 And he died he drowned How he couldn't get out of there could he couldn't get back up why not he just couldn't do it It's this is fucking stupid. I'm sorry. It's I it's ironic. It's ironic and listen listen listen, okay This is why the internet sucks Because here's why you people put these fucking proposals of these amazing things and then you got these people that Like I want to outdo your thing and be at like astronomically like beautiful with their fucking thing Maybe she was a slow reader That too and she was just like
Starting point is 01:27:13 And he's like damn bitch hurry up. I'm fucking but also white Caucasian male. Um Why would you do that? That's not romantic. I mean I get how like how it could be like water is just romantic Yeah, but when you propose to somebody which I've done You get on one knee and you kiss the person you don't swim away from him and then cut try to come back Yeah, you don't do that. I'm sorry. I also like I feel bad for this gentleman. Obviously scuba. No scuba. That's what I'm saying, dude No tank. What are we doing? There's pictures of it not of him dead, but like him doing it. No. Yeah, dude. You want to see? Oh, I honestly don't
Starting point is 01:27:54 I'll show you I feel so bad. I hope this is a fake story. No, fuck. No, it's not. There he is right there fucking pushing the thing up against the glass How about you not take a picture and tell him to fuck say yes already This man died. Yeah, dude. He dies fucking Proposing trying to be a viral sensation Yeah, it's trash, right Just propose like normal people. Okay Get down on one knee even put a pillow down there for your knee, which I even thought about doing
Starting point is 01:28:29 Dude, I feel so bad, but like also like What are you doing That's insane all that for a pun you died for a pun. Yeah Fuck dude. Yeah, man. That's so like, uh, that's a bad time to die and also say I can't hold my breath I don't have enough breath to do this He's a very honest man. Yeah, he's a very honest man. I would Look at the shit Because of shit. Oh, man. That's the thing. It's like listen what these baby reveals
Starting point is 01:29:06 And these you know what and these I don't really feel bad for making a joke because I don't at all Because people would have made jokes about me I would have just been another one of those crazy white motherfuckers that went hiking like, oh, bitch. Why are you out in the wilderness? Like you went on vacation to exercise. I know how dumb and white that shit is. Yeah, and I almost paid the price Yes, you did. So I'm kind of in the boat. So I'm letting you know now. Listen. Do I feel bad for this guy? Yeah, 100 but you're a fucking idiot, dude I also would have just been like I can't really breathe in my head up now. Yeah, I'm like, hey, listen Let me take another gas for air and I'll come down and get your answer. Yeah, let's do that
Starting point is 01:29:42 You know what I mean? Yeah, don't do that man. Just there's way more romantic things You don't have to go be a fucking fish also in that in that moment I'm sure you're so like Sort of frantic and excited. There's a lot of adrenaline like you're not breathing good Yeah, you're like skipping your heart skipping beats and shit like that's not just that's not the time to hold your breath Nah, man And it's like, yo, it's like
Starting point is 01:30:04 Man, I can't believe that that's wild. That's a horrible way to die. And now I just traumatized someone too. Yeah, you should watch me die We were supposed to get married. I'm asking you to marry, but then I died That's super trash. Yeah, I think about all the people that die on like their honeymoon and stuff Yeah, I heard a guy like died like because he fell like into the Grand Canyon or something like he went to go take a picture With his wife or something and then he Damn you killed that bitch, too No, he's no she was taking a picture of him and he was just like, oh, I got it Beverly. Yeah And just fell off the side
Starting point is 01:30:40 See, this is why I don't do things like this You know what I'm saying? Listen High things with no Safety shit. I'm good. I'm not doing it. Don't tell me to be more adventurous. I'm not doing it. Okay Yeah proposing under water another one not gonna do it even though I can hold my water for actually a very long time Hold your water. I'll hold my breath under water. Yeah, you can I can't hold my breath for shit No, you're very bad at holding your breath. Yeah, um, you would think I was chain smoking my whole life. Yeah um
Starting point is 01:31:10 And the other thing is too I I'm afraid That people are gonna try and copy that No, I mean, you know, a man goes down doing that. I don't think you copy it We know the formula and and the sad thing is that girl's gotta live with that for the rest of her life. I know That's the saddest part But what are you doing?
Starting point is 01:31:35 I don't know She's asleep. I'm gonna go dive under water now You know when she was taking pictures and whatnot. Yeah, dude. Like, oh my god, it's amazing I'd be like, oh go up. This is then this is sort of going My man's was dead, uh, it's fucked up, man. I don't even want to think about that. Yeah, that's fucked up Why did you tell me that that's a good story though? I mean, it's like an interesting thing, but you know I thought it was interesting. Anyway, someone died. Yeah Anyway, sub 10 mile
Starting point is 01:32:05 Sub 10 mile. I'm I'm fucking gonna die doing that. So who cares? Yeah, honestly, like this is all gonna like be ironic because you know, I actually probably shouldn't do it now Because we talked about this and it's all setting up to like come full circle now It's like, oh Danny made fun of that guy that he died on the track No, because then if I die it actually will get people to stop exercising because if I die exercising It proves that exercise doesn't work. Yeah, and if you die on that track, it's not like I could be like, you know He died doing what he loved because you didn't know that's what the out it would be the opposite You know, there was a guy died playing basketball with a son
Starting point is 01:32:40 What the fuck where are we going? I'm not doing that. No, no, no, that's like that's that's a good way to go out No, it's not he was an older man like 70 80 years old had a heart attack and died in his son's arms Why is that cool? That sounds terrible. No, man. He went out doing something that he loved playing basketball with a son Do I think Matthew McConaughey's dad died having sex with his mom? Now that is pretty dope What a coxman, yeah Gress in peace, but yeah Yeah
Starting point is 01:33:10 Anyway, uh now that we've covered the uh topic of death. Uh, thank you so much. Yeah. Uh, where can they find you Danny? Uh, you could find me in the gym, I guess Preparing for this challenge. Yeah, if I pay for his gym membership, I'll pay for my own. I don't need your help all right Would you come to the gym and do my workout plan that I'm on right now? Yeah, if you paid for me to join the gym, I would go to the gym with you as long as I know I'm not paying for the gym I would go. What have I halfied? this guy
Starting point is 01:33:38 You there needs to be something on the line for you because if you don't go every day, I'm gonna be fucking pissed off I don't want to be your dad. You probably have a free guest That lasts like six days And you used it if you if you yeah So If you if you pay for me to go for the gym, maybe have z's we'll discuss I'll go with you I can barely get here on time for work. What are you talking about? You're gonna meet me at the gym? No, I'll meet you here
Starting point is 01:34:06 Okay, then we'll drive there Don't put me to the test. Yeah, but uh at Daniel La Prairie on instagram and twitter and uh hospital near you Do you have another podcast as well? Well, I was gonna get there, but I didn't know if you want to do yours first You know what I'm saying because you guys are coming back this week Oh, shit, we are yeah, see but uh go check out the stank podcast too on santa gato studios podcast network made by The one and only joe santa gato hot Otter boy, which I don't agree with so yeah at the stank podcast on instagram and then uh check us out on youtube as well The youtube.com slash the stank podcast
Starting point is 01:34:44 Uh, yeah, and guys other people's lives other people's lives is back now For season seven we got uh some episodes up. I think by the time this goes up. Yeah, there'll be two Yep, um, but go check it out. Um on itunes spotify Fucking wherever it's not on youtube though. The whole shebang. Um, but go and go check out the instagram at opl podcast and Yeah, and our patreon for the basement yard. Thank you so much everyone who are patrons patreon.com slash the basement yard And that is all see you guys next time. It's fucking hot in here. Yeah, I'm sweating You

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