The Basement Yard - #211 - 24 Hours In Miami

Episode Date: October 14, 2019

On this episode, Joe has a weird flight in Miami & Danny has a "Curb Your Enthusiasm" moment on the streets of New York. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back. It's the basement boys. We back up in here, isn't it? Yeah, we back broth. It's mental It's mad bro mad bro. We're about to go ignorant. It's mental in here gotta watch the whole yard. Yeah Uh, yeah, the whole yard keep the yard down pat now in it more tune for your heads. Yeah Uh, what's up? What's up, man? Uh, what's up, man? What's up, man? What's up, man? I'm wearing tie dye I'm wearing this shirt says women are undefeated even though Probably not undefeated. Yeah, I mean, you know gotta ask hill dog about that one. They've been defeated They've been defeated. Everybody loses, but they're undefeated and uh, uh, you know in the new scent in the new sense in the New regime. Yeah, you know, I'm a full supporter of women. I love women and I like the shirt

I like I think women are cool. I think that shirt is dope I needed to get ahead of it because I knew those motherfuckers We're gonna come from the left right up down. I don't know what side they're from You know what I'm saying? Which which direction on a compass? Oh, they gonna hit you But you know, you know when people start talking about it like, oh, what do you like one of those guys from the left? I was like, I don't even know that me. You're such a such a leftist. Yeah, dude. You're from the right I was like, dude, if I turn around it's completely opposite Well, what are you talking about? It sounds like Game of Thrones. I never understood Westeros, man

Fuck out of here, dude. How did they choose which was left and right to be like, hey, we're gonna we're gonna stand over here. Yeah We're then we're gonna be the right. I'll be honest with you There's probably a legitimate reason that I don't know but You know some nerd in the comments actually can be actually in the first dog meeting. It's like, oh, Joseph You're fucking snowflakes feminist pussy, dude What did this happen? Bring back the old Joe who would make fun of like Rednecks at Walmart. Yeah, I'm waiting for that borderline autistic people. Hey, I never Know

Oh, fuck you fired it up. I had to shoot. No, I'm sorry. That's all it is Hey, man, you stuffed the cannon. I'll light the wick. You know what I mean? Yeah, man. What are those called? Expressions those are expressions, right? Yeah, I didn't know Yeah, I know that's a tough thing to know You know, it's a dumb expression the grass is greener on the other side of what the fence Yeah, that's what am I talking? I could see through the fence. Yeah, or unless it's one of those wood fences Oh What was that for

No, I'm really trying to think like The grass is greener on the other side. How do you know? How do I know how do you know the grass is greener on the other side? You're not over that fence. You're on this side of the fence talking to me right now But maybe you were on that side at one point. You know, you know, we're the the grass color Yeah, but what are you not taking into account first of all the season. Maybe maybe that's what they mean. Maybe they mean, uh Hemispheres Yeah, I'm hanging. Yeah, yeah, I'm saying. Yeah, you know, I'm saying I am so I'm saying like if it's winter over on yonder here

Over there where where we are now. All right facts The grass is not that green because it's cold and motherfuckers need that vitamin k or wherever comes from, you know The big dog upstairs the sun is vitamin d dog that one. What is vitamin k? Uh ketamine. Yeah, isn't it like horse-train clusters? I'm dead, man um, but uh I saw a kid shoot that into his leg one time. It was crazy Yeah, yeah, shoot ketamine into his leg. Yeah. Yeah, where where was this? Where was I? Yeah, was it me? No, it was I was at some some crib. It was I was young too. I was like 17

What the fuck were you doing there? He was younger than me um Shooting k like 16. Yeah, I mean I got out of there because I was like, yeah Without saying any names or that was like were you like hanging with a bunch of people? Um, I knew a kid there A couple kids there. Um, but I didn't know that kids. No, I don't know that kid You don't know any of them anymore. Uh, no. Yeah, see I you know what? That's a good decision. Yeah. Yeah That's what I call a good decision-making. But anyway, so the sun The sun, uh, if you need the sun for shit to grow, right? So we don't got no green gray

Okay over here, right, but if you go to like You know, australia might yeah, they might have some green grass. That's true, right? You know I'm saying down on that so maybe on the other side of the world Yeah, is where the grass is greener. It could be that's damn us facts But you know you just wrote that you wrote that that was in freestyle. It's mental, bro It's mental bro. You gotta think about it, bro. Straight. We've been watching a whole lot of top boy Yeah, when you think about it think it you figure it out figure it out got pushed on through, you know But yeah, another expression. I hate every dog has its day

I don't under what does that mean? Yeah, what day does the dog have my dog has every day? My dog lives every day or they have no days. We all who has a day everyone has a day unless you're like steve harvey I think like where he grew up. They like gave my oh today's steve harvey day or some shit He has a day. Yeah, but my dog doesn't have a day. Your dog doesn't have a day Listen every dog certainly doesn't have their day. There are some dogs that don't yeah, they don't got much Yeah, that's true. There's some dogs getting Beat the fuck up. Yeah, I didn't want to say it. I was like strained it or just getting Straight on put the sleep. Yeah, euthanized. Yeah, you know

Or like thrown into like a bunch of gum. Do you want to know what I thought euthanized was? You didn't know what it meant. Well when I was a kid and I heard that they euthanized dogs For some reason I thought they put them in a gas chamber. What? Yeah Why because I thought like they wanted they would kill a whole bunch of them at once And put them in a gas chamber and and kill them That's what I thought euthanization was But then I grew up But why because like I mean that sounds like the holocaust so like you didn't did you think they like

Like what did you know heard the word because no one ever uses the word euthanized when talking about the holocaust No, no, no it just for some reason. That's just how I envisioned it in my head Like I've never until youtube. I've never seen a dog put the sleep. Damn you watch that. Yeah, man No, yeah, and uh, I know they just I mean I they just they just inject them and then like you could like pet them And they just fall asleep. Yeah, which I'm not talking about this anymore I'm not what nope. This is gonna get not doing it. No, no, no, no, you're good. You're good. You're good But I'm gonna say this I don't think I could do that to my dog. I'm not talking about it. No, no, no, I'm not saying

Don't ask me. I have no reply. All right, so I'm just gonna say this I think I I think selfishly as I am. I think I just let my dog be sick And stay with me until he died of natural causes There's no way I could put my dog in the car and be like, all right, buddy Let's kick this super sad ride Are you done? Yeah, I'm done. Okay good. What were we talking about? Oh, you're talking about something nice We shitty expressions you're talking about right and you want to bring up dead dogs and how you know if I'm not gonna have to Do that one day. I'm not thinking about it

um But yeah, so I just went to Miami I'm going to Miami Did you listen to that song at least once? Yeah, yeah I'm going to my Thanks for the invite by the way Oh, there was no invite, uh, necessary because it was a very, um, impulse decision. I've never done something like this before Not necessary is a little bit of a stretch could have been necessary

Well, necessary wasn't the word I wanted to say it was there was no time for me to do that is what I meant That's what you meant. Um, but No, but my friends went to Miami for something and I couldn't because I had to work on Saturday And and like I had to record something with Greg and we had this thing lined up But then I ended up not happening So and I found out that morning and it was like 9 a.m. And I'm talking to my friends who One of them had just landed there the other ones were there the night before and I was like so Like what's on the agenda? Like what are you guys doing because they went out and this kid like

You know impulse buy he bought this big-ass bottle of like gray goose and I'm like, oh, that's kind of like cool that he did that because You know, whatever I love when people just do impulse shit like that It's like not that it's like Flexing kind kind of thing. But it's just like oh man. That was such a dumb decision, but cool. Yeah Like you know that it's dumb, but you didn't you know, like I love when people are like, uh, this is kind of like Not financially responsible. I'm gonna do it though. Yeah, but not not to be cool

But just for a story. I think it's fine. I think it's worth it at that at some point you're gonna make that money back anyway Yeah, you know, it's good. I mean he has a good job. He's fine. But uh, so I'm like, yo What are you guys doing and like blah blah blah and then I just like just like glanced I was like, you know, what are the chances because they were leaving the next day Okay at 4 p.m. All right, and it's 9 a.m. The day before why'd you guys why'd you guys I'd everybody come back sunday today's a holiday Oh, they had they had work Damn, yeah, I mean they don't work in no Jewish bosses, huh? Yeah. No, they don't work in public school or anything That's true. A lot of people are off today though

A lot of people are off today. Yeah but Yeah, so at like 10 o'clock. I made the decision. I'm like, yo, fuck it I'm like, what's your return flight? And it was at 4 p.m. The next day. So I was like, fuck it. I'm doing it and then I bought a ticket at like 10 o'clock my flight left, uh At 11 30 damn, so I just like Got dressed packed a bag and left and went to the airport and um

You know it got interesting from there to be honest with you because I got on the plane and I was sitting next to you know, this Asian couple, right? Mm-hmm. Okay. Now interesting interesting What I want to hear more about these Asians. Yeah, you do. Yeah, so I uh So I put my bag in the overhead and he's sitting in my seat Damn because you know how it goes a b c d e f. Yeah on delta, you know saying so on d. That's the aisle man So I tell him I'm like, hey, I'm in here and he goes to like he's like, you know

Goes to give me like first of all, I didn't like step out into the aisle. He thought I was just gonna like walk past I'm like we're in a movie theater. Can't do that on a plane. No, I'm gonna get out of here Get out of the end up sitting on your lap by accident for sure So he goes to do that. I'm like, no actually like this is my seat and he goes d d's the window I go nah, I'm like, it's actually the aisle I'm a big aisle guy. Yeah. No, I know that so There was a little like I could tell he was a little upset that I that I like, you know Little asian standoff. I had to school him on the seating. He gave you an asian stare down

Um, I felt the heat. I didn't I didn't make eye contact because that's a battle I would have lost Yeah, probably uh, so they slide and now I sit down and Uh, he just and then I'm just like whatever. I'm on my phone and we start pulling back from the gate and I'm like, all right. Let me just throw this seat belt on, you know safety first You know what I'm saying? So I grabbed the part that's in the aisle, which I don't it was like the whatever I grab it and then I go to grab the other one and then I notice this dude's great. It has my shit hostage So the asian this guy was right. So he he just had

Um The thing it was like on his lap. Okay at this point, right? So I'm not going to reach over and grab, you know Some asian junk. Yeah, I'm not going to go in there and cross enemy lines here And like, you know, get a knuckle of cock while I grab my seat belt. That's too much of an invasion of privacy here Especially on a plane too. That's what I'm saying. So I was like, let me not do this I'm not trying to get thrown off this plane borderline terrorism. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, so I was like I'm not going to do that. I didn't want to like scrape these knuckles on some like some shit. Yeah Listen 100 you gotta protect yourself at all costs. And I also don't want to grab a handful of cock. So I

That's you know, I'm That's too felony to some shit. So, uh I just let it go and I wait because he doesn't have his seat belt on I see it's behind him Like it's on the seat behind him. So I'm like, he'll notice eventually because you can't just put like two buckles together You know what I'm saying? He's you know, whatever So I just waited out now we get on to the runway and I'm like, damn this dude's like gangster Like he's not going to wear a seat belt. I'm like, all right, cool. So I'm like, well, then I'm not going to wear a seat belt So I'm just sitting there

And so you're challenging him at this point. I'm not challenging him. I'm more so afraid to say that that's my seat Why buckle? I didn't know man. He was already I could feel like he was tense You feel like you flustered him once a second fluster might put him over the edge I yeah, I didn't want to I don't want to start this whole thing because we're about to sit on a flight To Miami together. Was he physically scary? He wasn't physically scary, but he was a he was an older meaner looking man Yeah, you know, yeah, so I like he looked like He would have put up a good fight, bro

Especially in in close quarters. I like, you know, I would probably would have got the best one eventually But he would have got some shots Yeah, and that was just where to hurt and I was on the way to Miami I'm not trying to go there So isn't it like a stewardess's job to come over and be like, all right, like this has to be on Yeah, but they're not going to do it to every single row. They just like kind of say it and walk around It's kind of their job though. They're supposed to look literally like at your shit be like No, so let me get to it. So we pull up to you know, we're like the third plane

We're like waiting and then I see him like Go to put the seat belt on So I'm like, all right about to get my belt, you know, about to get my belt on right on my strap So he grabs the seat belt Goes to put it into the the part that is the exact one he has And he then he notices Fucked up, you know So then so then uh, how many times did he try to do it? Like was there like it wasn't a lot

He just he picked him up and he was like, oh, this isn't right. Okay. So then he kind of like put it on his leg And then he kind of was like looking around and I go, oh, yo, it's behind you And uh, he goes, oh and he takes his seat belt, right? I told I told this man Yeah, I was like, yo, there it is right there, you know, whatever and like I'm being overly nice because I because I felt I felt bad because I didn't want this guy thinking That I like kicked him out of his seat. You know what I'm saying? So I even went on my I swear to god, I did this I I went on my app and like Kind of angled it towards him not that I like I was hoping he would see

And just I'd say it says df that says that's fed. Yeah Yeah, you know what I'm saying? So I so it shows that d is the aisle because I wanted my app to show like the seat map So I'm being overly nice to this dude. So I tell him like, oh, sir, it's behind you It's like behind your like whatever and he goes, oh, thank you and he and he like reaches behind he gets it He clips his seat belt in Right and then the part that was supposed to go to yeah He just grabs and holds Just holds on to it like just like with two hands. No, no, no. So he's like this, right? I'm sitting on this side of him

Yeah, yeah do do it with the cable kind of so okay I'm sitting on this side. I'm sitting here. Yeah, and I'm kind of looking at him like it's behind you, sir And he's like cool buckles in and then grabs this thing because it comes from here and just holds it like this What was he doing why would he do that bracing himself for did you tell did you tell him that it was yours? And I couldn't say a word. You you wore no seat belt. I couldn't say a word I could I froze I couldn't say a word man. I told you I'm not one of these people I know someone gives me you know if I order something and a chef brings it out And it's something that I didn't order but I would eat. I'll just eat it

So this guy stole my seat belt. I told him where his was he was clipped I was clearly unclipped and he fucking just grabs my belt and just holds it like he's like bracing for He wasn't holding it out like this. I thought I thought he was holding it like it was fully taught though There was no like there was it was taught so he was pulling on the shit Is there like a different like seat belt system in asia? No, I think he was just bracing for like the ascent Yeah, or something. Maybe he was like scared, but he didn't realize that was it was mine But I was just like So I had just raw dog that ascent

Yeah, you know, you're not supposed to do that. I had no belt. Was there any turbulence? On the way up. Yeah, there usually is man. We were doing some topsy-turvy Topsy-turvy. You were you were leaning. You were leaning on to the goddamn aisle. I would have been down that thing like a can of soup Crazy man I fucking raw dog the ascent. I'm just um, I have no belt. Yeah, that's not good. That's not good I was scared but other than that, how was the flight though besides the the The belt stealing asian man I

Also had an asian run in the way So the wife was cool. I mean, I didn't she didn't say anything right, but Um, they had gotten up for the bathroom at one point and again, I'm being very nice about this shit I eventually got my belt back because he got up to go to the bathroom and at that point I was like Scrambling for my belt So I was like, I'm not about to hit the floor with no belt. So when he went to the bathroom, did you get up and out? Oh, yeah, I got out and I was like here like I was like, you know, I'm saying I was a cop and I was and I was waiting I respect that I was waiting on them to get back because I didn't even want him to poke me and be like, sorry

You know, I'm good. I knew he was coming boom pop up. I was like, you're good You know, I didn't even have to ask me. I was trying to like even the score Yeah, get that asian ass back in there. I didn't want I didn't want to be you know, this this guy Yeah, so but then there was another thing that happened that when we were getting drinks She ordered a drink and I you know, I was letting them go. I wasn't letting the jack and cokes You know flow into my bloodstream makes the flight easier. I'll tell you that. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't when I landed though I'll be honest. They hit me all at once It was kind of like it was on delay and then they were like, all right go and I was like, whoa

um, so anyway I I ordered a jack and coke first And the guy like and what time is this? uh known At least it was a saturday, right? It was like three hours after it was saturday. Fuck it. Yeah, so uh, was that the first thing you consumed all day? Yeah, that's dope jack and coke. That's dope. A little scary but dope

I may have had Nothing to eat probably because you're you don't eat. Oh, I bought you lunch today You looked at it and like bit it and then just put it back. That's untrue. I uh, where is it? I had kick cats We had kick cats Sounds about right as well so, uh Yeah, so I ordered my drink. I was like, yeah, I'm gonna get a jack and coke This guy's like cool and he's like, can I get something for you?

And he ordered a coffee or something and his wife got a coffee and he said I can also get a water And then the guy's like, sure. So he pours more water hasn't the guy hasn't made my drink yet, which is fine Yeah, like whatever. So because those are easy. He just pours them for me. He's got to like mix shit It's also better to go window farthest the closest Passing so he gives him here gives him like their coffee and the guy's like, can I get a water too? So he's like, yeah, pours a water gives it to him. Then the guy starts making my drink And the guy reached over me and stopped him and goes no, no, no, I only wanted one water And the guy's like, oh, no, this is this is for this gentleman

Yes, it's for this guy and he goes, oh, all right And I was like, oh, this guy almost stopped my jack and coke flow. Wait, he put his hand over the water. He put it. No, no I thought he went like this. He was like, no, no, he like touched the the guy's arm Like, oh, no, I don't want another water and the guy's like, oh, no, I'm making a drink for this kid How old was this man? He was an old man. Ballpark him 80 No 75 I would say 65

67 65 to 70 All right, I'm gonna go with 67 That's that's a good that's good. Did you guys talk at all on the plane? Absolutely. No pleasantries. No, no, nothing. Wow No, no, no name catch No Did you do that typical thing where like Someone talks to you on a plane you lean over and you go

Did you do that with his wife? I always see husband and wives having small conversations and the husband's always just goes I don't know. I I don't I just you know, you got drunk. I was trying to stay out I mean, I I a little bit I a little got a little yeah See, I say I would have started talking about hey, man Sorry about the whole df thing. No, I wasn't like drunk like that. No, but I would have I would have got the courage to be like Hey, little asian old man I I I'm just letting you know this is really D. You know what? I mean you can ask stewardess like I'm I didn't mean to do this

Well, I think at that point he ended up like You know He ended up realizing this fucking guy sat in the middle He didn't even sit in the window seat Or did he well him and his wife moved over. Yeah Moving your seats. I mean, you know, it's fine. Like people can get a pack flight Yeah

I'm waiting for that one day where my flight is just nobody on it. Also one more thing God, I didn't realize how like, you know left a mark on you left a mark on me. Yeah for sure. Um I hate people that when planes I thought that was gonna go really bad. You said I hate people Oh, you thought I was gonna say to asian people? Yeah, I was like, yeah, I went to Miami with an asian kid Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Uh, no, I would already have what's that guy's name got in trouble who Shane some Shane Shane gillisley or whatever Oh, yeah, Shane Shane, uh gillis gillisley. It's like a running back for like eight years ago

My gillisley, bro. It was two years ago. Yeah, three touchdowns week one. Nothing. Yep. I drafted him. Yep. Shout out Yeah, um, but no, so I hate people that as soon as the plane lands like and you're in the back They like get up and start taking their bags like it's like bro. We're not going anywhere for a long time We have to let a hundred people leave. Yeah, and he insists like he asked me for help But I was totally cool doing that and he asked me for a favorites guy made you his bitch. Yeah Uh But he was like, can you help me? I was like, yeah for sure So I did he ask you to help him because you were taller than him or was he just like a feeble old man?

He wasn't feeble so he just made you do it No, I was taller than him. He wasn't like, okay What I'm just trying to figure out what this guy was trying to do. Was he trying to like he had two There were heavy bags dude. He's an old guy. All right, but I didn't know if he was trying to like Dominate you like in a cerebral way if he wasn't trying he did. Yeah He was successful. Was he like get my bags or was no no He was very nice about it. He was like, can you can you please help me? I was like, yeah So but it was it was like the plane had just landed

And you didn't want to be that guy by association I just stood up because Because I when the plane lands and I'm sitting like pretty far in the back like I'm not even gonna stand up I'll just sit down. I'll wait till everyone's off that fucking plane but I started to feel the heat from The people next to me of being like why he's still sitting so I just stood up Yeah, and then there wasn't a lot of room in the aisle So this dude starts standing up with his wife and I'm like, oh fuck

So I'm like kind of backed out into the aisle like pretty deep now Yeah, and that's when he asked me to help him bring his stuff down and there's no room to do that Like I had to grab his bag and I you know, I did everything he asked me to too He could have said kiss me. I would have been like, please sir. Don't make me do this, but I would have done it Uh But I grabbed his bag and I had to like I was hitting I was elbowing people Like it was packed in there and he's I was like and I actually said I'm like, where do you want me to put this? Right and I just put it on my seat where I was

previously sitting He ended up getting the seat back He ended up getting it back. I guess so man He dominated me dominated you, but yeah, I had a running with some asians this weekend This is such a hot start. I know it's crazy, but uh, so all right, so there's this thing that I do all the time and um Well, I was leaving a concert and there's this Thing that I do

Which is I mimic the way connor McGregor hits The heavy bag and when he hits it, we do it all the time. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. That's the sound Yeah, if you google like connor McGregor like hitting a bag, he just goes. Hi. Hi. Hi. Yeah So I'd do that from time to time because it's just like it's he can't shut up. Yeah, I can't shut up So when I'm doing this I'm walking down the street me and julian are walking down the street, right? We're going to nomad and I'm just like yo All right, let's walk this way. We start walking so as we get to the corner I'm just kind of just doing like a shadow box. Yeah, and I hi hi hi

Like I'm just doing like little ones and two asian guys walk by and one of the asian guys turns around and goes what's up So I thought he was a fan so I turned around I go. Oh, what's up? And he goes no, what's up? So now I know he wants to go I'll fucking go so I go. What's your fucking problem, bro? What's what's going on? So I look at julian. I'm like, yo, is this fucking guy serious So now I'm like I'm in a zone where I'm gonna fuck this guy up because like He took a step towards me. So I got scared. So now I'm fired up And then he just keeps like he turns around and keeps walking and goes hi hi hi hi hi hi and I just go oh man

Oh, he thought you were being racist. He thought I was being racist and like making fun of him. Yeah Wow, yeah This is all connor mcgregor's fault. Yeah, that's what I'm trying to get at it's all kind of a gregor's show But I mean a fault connor come on the show, but you know But no that got me in trouble and I didn't realize it until I got like a block down I go I think that dude thought I was being racist Because you were saying oh, so he thought you were thinking of the balls I would have to do

I had to have the racist balls If two guys were walking down the street and I just went hi hi hi hi On purpose like make them feel like it was racist. Yeah, it couldn't have it was the most curb your enthusiasm moment of my entire life. Yeah Damn, it was I felt really bad like I almost wanted to go back and be like yo guys But then I was like no because I'm gonna also if you've run up all these guys They're gonna fucking just start swinging on you. Yeah, I think that you're like, you know At that part it's like dangerous. Yeah, he didn't want any smoke Zero smoke as soon as I turned around one step towards when my man was out

but I think off off Off pretenses, yeah, I could have gotten trouble for a hate crime Yeah, maybe yeah You would have had to have like proof of being like bro. I'm doing gregor. I'm doing irish. Yeah, you know what I'm saying Hi, hi, and I was like, oh dude, man. I'm not racist the entire night. It was messed up I couldn't stop thinking about this Asian man. Oh, this is before

This is right after the concert going to dinner the whole time we were sitting there. I felt terrible. Yeah Because that guy probably went somewhere was like, oh That racist piece of shit. Yeah, and I was just like nah, man Chill just an idiot. Just the dumb guy making boxing sounds just I guess I'm making noises. Yeah, sorry That's kind of funny. Yeah, it was I should beat him up No, no Could he have like given you a run for your money? Um

I must outweigh pretty gangster to say something be honest with you for him to be like, yo, what's up? Yeah, yeah Yeah, but when I retaliated and said like the second what's up like the ready what's up Like I hear what you're saying. What's up. He didn't want any smoke. Okay walk right away for me Well, that's the case and I feel like that's the case most times Yeah, I mean because if he was gonna pop off he would have popped off But then I would end up looking like a dickhead anyway That would have been the worst fight of my entire life Yeah, because even if you wouldn't that fight you're like the guy was like you're a fucking racist

Yeah, I'm like, what are you talking about? So I was just like, let's just let this go Yeah, no, but that's funny that we both had Asian run ins Yeah, yeah It was uh, it was a weekend. But was weak was my weather first of all Weather was great. Weather was great. Miami. It was hot. It was You know, there was scooters. So I was scooting everywhere. I saw you scooting. Yeah, they got they got scooters on every corner now I had to download some app you just pop it over rev No, no, no, it was um

What's that app? What's what app revel revel revel? Yeah, that's the that's the one around here. Yeah, um, but No, it's called bird bird. Just bird bird. Yeah, so you get scooters and you scoot. They're pretty fast That's fire. Um, like 30 miles an hour. No, that's way faster than I was I was gonna say. Where are we going? 15 probably Um, but sweet and they had ones that were like 20 25 miles an hour. Yeah Well, not me. Mine was going about 18. Yeah, but uh, if you had a little less poundage, you could get it up 22 23 miles an hour max stops Yeah, um, I wish they had those in the city, man. I fucking would rip on those things. You want to hear a funny story actually?

It's like hilarious, you know We were in Miami and I made some comment like saying like, you know, it's insane. Like everyone Like around here is like Hot as fuck. Yeah, you know, so we're I was just like talking about that and then we're at dinner and this waiter Where'd you guys eat? Not I don't remember the name of the place. It was like some Italian place, but we uh This waiter walks out of the kitchen like holding plates and stuff. He was like bringing it to tables And it's like this guy and he's in a really good shape

And he's got like long sleeve like, uh, plaid shirt on it's like rolled up. Rolled up tight. Love that It's like slick back hair. He's like tan and like like chisel, right? So I'm having this conversation and then he walks by our table So I just made it a part of it like to be funny and be like and by the way, did you see this fucking guy? Like even the guys are fucking, you know what I'm saying? So I was just making a comment like that, right? So so we like briefly had talked about it and then Uh Like 20 minutes later

Like we had ordered food whatever like 20 minutes later. He starts walking towards our table. So as a joke I just start going. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god So everyone's hot boy in school is coming over right exactly So uh, everyone starts laughing and he comes over and he puts like the wrong thing on our table We're like he like goes leave it and I'm like, yo, did I don't think we ordered this and he's like, oh, you didn't order I forgot what it was. It was like some like fun guy pie or something. Okay. I had like mushrooms and shit Paya maybe no, it was like pizza with like mushrooms and shit I was like, no, I was like, no, we didn't order that

And then uh, we were trying to figure it out and everyone was like, no, I think yeah So then he ends up leaving There was like a pause And I think it was my cousin P. Just goes Yo, we're all straight men. We were so flustered What do people do down there like do they live down there? Yeah, dude Like do they try to be like like do you go to Miami like you know how you go to la to be an actor

Like you might go to new york to become a singer. Yeah, you know, you're just they're just there's like a very big cuban american Kind of population down there, right, but like what like do people move to miami in their 20s I don't I don't I don't think so. I don't right. I think they're all just like kind of they grew up there Because it's a popular area. Yeah, of course, but like you know what it is. It's like it's poor maybe it's beach season all year round So people are more inclined to stay in shape and they're always tan So it's like everyone just looks like the best version of themselves Like when you live in new york, like you get in the winter and you get really white Let me tell you just let it go. You know what I'm saying

So you get ugly, but they just stay hot. I think I might tan this year. I think I might go tanning In the winter. Yeah, because dude it gets grizzly. Yeah, I don't look great. We all get so white and ugly You got olive skin. Look at me. I see through me. Yeah, you get light of shit Yeah, dude, if you look at our old like first ones like when first started we're both like ghost Yeah, we look sick. Yeah, like yeah, we look anemic. That's what it looks like. I know man Like is that frowned upon to go tanning? Like you'll obviously know I have a tan But like is that worth it? Well, I get made fun of by me. Yeah Would you really make fun of me for getting a tan? Yeah

Yeah, well, I would make fun of me for I also would just be jealous because like you getting a tan I might not notice Right, but if I get a tan, you're like, what what what? Yeah, what happens? See a spray tan doesn't make sense to me It's kind of weird. It's gross. It's orange. It's orange. Like I'd rather sit in one of those weird beds that give you cancer All right, you know, you'd rather do that. Yeah, okay Let me ask you this. It's kind of a deep question. Don't ask me this. All right, don't ask me Why are you bringing it all the way down? I'm not bringing it all the way down. I'm asking you a question

Go ahead. Would you rather You die suddenly, right Anyway, so we're not going to talk about this. No, no, no, watch. Why are you doing watch you die? Second time would you rather die suddenly right or watch your dog die? No, no, no, no, no, no or have a disease that you have a 50 50 percent chance of living or dying Would what would you rather do would you rather just die real quick or do the 50 50? You're asking me if I would rather live or die. This is a dumb question No, dude, you have a 50 50 chance. Okay

The other I have a zero chance. Yeah, but no, but then you have to go through like all like the medicare the medical stuff Who cares? I don't know if I would want to go through that. Okay. No, you're an idiot. We're not talking about this You stop stop doing that. What I asked a simple question You were talking about dogs dying and now you're talking about dying like how do you want to go out? No, because I it was the it was the uv things. I've been reading a lot of sad news This kid is unfucking believable. God Jesus killing me here See, look at that

That's the hard hitters Anyway, so in a more hot a happier note. Yeah, did you even talk to this hot guy or what you guys? No, I didn't yeah Did you even get his name? No, he had an accent. Yeah an accent. Yeah What am I gonna do? Hey man? I want to be a friend. You're hot. You could call you could call the place I don't want to be his friend. You could call the place. I don't want to be around him ever again Just look at him. Was he taller than you? You ever see one of those like maps Not maps, but like they have those eye tests where it's like stare at the lines And then the gray just kind of fades away and then it's like and then it's like blink once

Yeah, and it's like because it's like if you stare at the box then the lines fade away Yeah, if you put that dude next to me that's what would have happened to me That good that dude you stare at him and then everything else just kind of fades and I'd be I'd be disappeared So you went down there. You had dinner. What'd you guys do after? Uh, we went to some Some spot forgot what's called and then we went to 11 went to a strip club. Nice stay till 6 a.m 6 a.m 6 a.m. Yeah, you can't leave earlier than that if you leave earlier than like

4 a.m. At a strip club you're pussy We didn't get there until Probably two we talking b squad c squad a squad Oh, it's a it's 11 in miami. It's it's a squad. Yeah, it's far all day. That's dope. Uh, we're talking about also saturday night Yeah, like was it hard to get in? Uh, we waited like probably 15 minutes on that's not bad. No, that was fine. Anybody famous there No, because everyone's one So

We got check west in the back um, but no, I got rick ross's cousin Dick ross in the back. Yeah no, uh So, yeah, we went to the strip club and um, it was cool I like it because it's more of a club than a strip club. So you could dance and then there's just like titties Right, that's fire, right? But I mean it's a strip club like there's strippers everywhere But there's less of that like pressure to like throw money at a woman. Yeah

First of all, it was funny. So Women are undefeated by the way So I'm going to tell this story and then we'll get into the ads. All right, so um We go into the we go into the strip club and I'm like, oh, this is cool because Usually when you walk into a strip club, like there's just like seating Like you sit down and then girls come over and it's like they like sit Do you want to dance or like? Yeah, you want they're like sitting on your lap or they're doing this and that

It's like it's all about like how we get these dudes to spend money But there it was like you literally could sit at the bar And stuff's going on around you and no one's gonna really like bother you or like Actually, there was a couple times that because I didn't get a dance at all It just didn't really feel like that kind of place to be honest. It was a lot of fun But like twice. I think the entire night I was there for like five hours Uh a girl was like, hey, do you and I was like, I'm good right now. She's like, okay, cool She just kept me like usually that doesn't happen here. You know what I'm saying?

Like I feel like in New York in the strip clubs. It's kind of like now they send them out Yeah, and it's like, oh, so what do you so what are you gonna do just stand here? Like, you know, I'm saying they'll go have questions. Fuck. I'm just gonna sit here and drink this $9 beer Yeah, uh, so I really liked it. It was a lot of fun. Um, but I remember there was at one point like I'm throwing money and I just turned to one of my friends and I go What a concept That's all he said it was what a concept. I know because it's just like it's the most

Ridiculous thing and it's so uh In a way it feels like So easy not easy. It's simple like animalistic. I guess or something. Yeah. It's like look at all these people just indulging in this like Sixth thing everyone all their vices exactly in one place, you know, and I'm just like it's just so it's and it's so Like casual down there a dude came up to me. You know who I was and we took a picture Oh, you can take pictures in there. Yeah, I guess so So there was that also they have like a main stage That's in like a pit that's surrounded by

Uh, like couches and shit. It's a pit. What are they fucking dog fighting them down there? No So it's like there's stairs that go down, but we stayed on the sides because it's like elevated Yeah, and so you can see the strip from the from the like catwalk It's fire. It's not a catwalk. There's like the pole go all the way up to where you guys were the pole is high at Shit, did anybody go all the way to the top? Yo, I was just gonna say that bad ass. Yo, so these these women were Undefeated on the pole. They were fucking dude. I'm telling you these women were so strong they were like there's one woman

like somehow It looked like she was doing front flips, but was going up the pole Yeah, like she was like flipping but catching her legs and getting up there and she gets all the way to the top and then She fucking firemen Slides down the whole thing lands in a split on the stage. God, I hope you made it rain at that point dude. I threw Like I had like I was just like yo

Fucking none of it even got close to the stage doesn't matter. Yeah, the people below me probably were pissed, but I was I was like, yo, anyone see that Like someone go spot. That's an athletic feat That's performance art. I don't give a shit what anybody says if there's ever a shortage of gymnast And for the team usa go get team 11 go to 11 Exactly and go find people on the main stage. So do they like play music in there like like live There's no, no, no, there's a dj There's mad hip-hop, but actually they actually did a really good job of like there's like a hip-hop block

and then there's like, uh Fucking like there's like spanish music. Yeah, and then there's fucking uh, like the bachata EDM Shit, yeah, or whatever and and there's just like blocks. That's where all the coke heads are the EDM room probably No, no, no, I mean the the dj all does the whole club. Oh, I thought there was like three different sets Like it has different music the other place. No, no, no It was one guy who was doing the whole thing But he was he would play like, you know, like seven hip-hop songs in a row and then go to the other genres You know, I'm saying it would just be like, you know, ever they played gasoline and I went fuck

I'm sure I'm sure they do too. Yeah Yeah strip clubs are dope. I don't care what anybody says Like it depends. So I really don't like yeah, but you could go to a shitty strip club But if you're going to a shitty strip club, that's on you You should do research if you're going through a strip club Should have done research should have done your research. It's the one thing I do research on Yeah, no, it was a lot of fun though. It was a cool trip. So I got back at like 6 30 in the morning to our place

And then I got on a flight like we woke up and just packed our bags and we were in the airport Sounds right and that was like my whole day. I love how you have like 42 dollars in singles in your bag right now Yeah, it's probably more than that honestly Because I took out 200 bucks. Yeah, 200 singles is a shit low, dude I Have you ever seen 200 singles? I'm just saying I'm asking the audience. I was really tired when we got there So I so I was like, all right, and I really don't drink red bull and vodka But I was like, I'm gonna do it. Oh, those were the best. I I could have stayed more. Yeah

Did anybody go home early? Yeah. Yeah, see who were the last who are the last soldiers the lone survivors? um me Pete geo Raf and Derek. Yeah, okay, so we we uh, we stayed out but our buddy left early and um, I remember when he ended up leaving Because it was a point where this dude was playing at bangers like the the the dj would crush it, right? He's back to back. So I was dancing like crazy dancing. Joe was fucking out and all about that's the best show right there

and uh That's the best show and I remember because I pete reminded me the next day It's like you at one point. You just look over at me and you won't go. I'm never leaving Like what a dead serious Five in the morning. Was that was that your first time ever there? Yeah, the first time I was there. Oh, okay Uh, because I was gonna say you've been down there before right? Yeah, it was just there in march But you guys went to like they what's the other big club down there king of diamonds What do you got shut down king of diamonds? Yeah, that's what all the rappers used to talk about right?

Yeah, and then a place called like live or something live live on. Yeah, I've never been to live either But so but it was funny It was a good time. I got my money's worth. I actually drank it the morning too Yeah, but you have to at that point. You can't stay awake otherwise. There was one more spike seltzer in the in the fridge I was like, I'm drinking. Yeah, truly or no spike seltzer. Do you see what they have with giant games now? Why call on tap dog? Oh tap. Yeah, they have it on tap and then they have the tall boys. They have the tall boys I went to jones beach to see john bellion and they had tall boys. That's just taking over the game

That's the vaping of alcohol. I'll be honest with you as much as I made that's a jewel of alcohol It is it is it is 100 right? Yeah, because it's so much better because I could drink three of those Saust not that I'm no I'm not sauce because they're only five percent Which is not like only five percent, but you know, I haven't discussed intolerance But I could drink three of those and I won't feel super bloated. I won't feel like Yo, I look like a fat bitch right now probably right or like this and that you don't you don't feel self-conscious And the next morning I feel like fine. I feel like I drank the night before but I don't feel like Oh god and like just like whatever if I drink three beers. Yeah

Forget about it. Does white club make you shit? Uh, I don't probably Like you know how sometimes you get like no, it's not as gross. Yeah, it's not as bad as that. No Aren't those the worst comes rattling out of your butt. We call them we call them dads why it's the day after drinking shits Oh, that's a good name. I got the dad. That's a good fucking name. Yeah, we call it that. Yeah, those squirts are terrible Yeah, so anyway, I'm gonna go get the sponsor uh I guess uh

Dead I'm gonna start using dads now But I can't I don't drink but I'm gonna use it anyway. It's good Oh You can have secondhand dads. That's true. I'm sure if I drank around you. Yeah, for sure. You'd probably shit yourself the next morning or whatever Uh, okay All right, let's get to our uh, we have a new sponsor. What? You didn't tell me that Yeah, I don't tell you anything. That's kind of true. Uh, we have Skillshare

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um Next we have boom Dave. Yeah, Dave.com, baby. That's my guy Dave.com Uh, it's the number one budgeting app in america because it saves you from overdraft fees tells you about upcoming bills and can advance Use $75 from your next paycheck with no credit and no interest Danny has used it before I just hit up Dave today got paid a couple days ago Got uh, you know got a little extra money from Dave Why not who doesn't want an extra $75 as I'm saying you can get the Dave app for just $1 a month That's $12 a year. I'm a mathematician. Yeah, I just did the math for you for free. Yeah, all right

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Overdraft likely you have upcoming expenses that could cause a negative balance Dave.com Dave.com will keep you from spending that money that you're supposed to not be spending There you go. Go to Dave.com slash basement. It really helps the show if you let them know you've heard them here Yes, um, so download Dave and never have to pay for another overdraft fee ever again It's immediate savings. Go now Dave.com slash basement Dave spelled like Dave da ve.com slash basement people Go check it out. Who doesn't love 75 bucks. It's such a great number. I know 90 seconds nice and round. Yeah Uh, next we have native which I've been

To be honest with you since I started using native I do smell better longer Because oh because you don't you don't smell Me yeah, like you don't get very stinking. I'm a stinkier guy. Oh, yeah, you know native holds my sentin longer Holds your sentence. It holds my mind sentin and you know the best part They're safe You know what I'm saying because there's stuff like aluminum parabens talc You know, if you don't know what it is probably be on your body. That's what I'm saying. I don't know what those are I know that like aluminum probably shouldn't be

Being shoved into my armpit. Can't even put it into a microwave. That's what I'm saying If I can't put it into a microwave. I'm not putting it on this body. That's a great life structure right there But uh native they make safe and effective Deodorant and soaps I got a soap in there that likes yo it acts as like a Uh, so no no no What's the word? I'm looking like an air freshener air freshener once I hit some hits it It smells so good that like you could just leave it in in your shower and the whole room smells like like lavender Yeah, yo, I love lavender. I love lavender, man. Um, but anyway

Uh, they have over 8,500 reviews. That's a lot. That's a lot. Um less is more with native They have fewer simpler ingredients. So you know everything that is in there deodorant. Um, also aluminum like we talked about before It's linked to some serious health ramifications and native is aluminum free safe and effective Um But yes for 20 off your first purchase visit native deodorant.com and use the promo code basement during checkout Again, that is 20 off your first purchase if you go to native deodorant.com and use the promo code Basement, uh, and I also by the way the deodorant that I've been crushing Uh, coconut and something that's what I have the yo

I also think it's listed under the women's deodorant. Don't care. I like women's deodorant more than men's deodorant smells amazing Yeah, you can only go so long smell like old spice, you know Yeah, I don't want to I don't want to smell like that. No, and then it the way then that Olds that one makes my stuff all green. I like I like that. I like that way better. Yeah native native's the way to go Go check it out guys. Um next and lastly we have stitch fix which is Reimagining the way that we buy clothes and shop for clothes shot

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Or like stripes and this kind of pattern or whatever. What do we got over there? Go over there and say hey, I like this one put it towards my stuff. I don't like this one put it over there It's that easy. It's that easy. Okay. It's all about preference So we know how to pick out your clothes and then when you get them if you like all of them The styling fee is waived if you only like the one thing you got out of the whole box You send the rest back boom by the bing boom pow boom pow is done Get your fix whenever you want or sign up to receive scheduled shipments Herdy stitchfix.com slash basement to get started now keep all five items in your box

You know get 25 off your entire purchase that is stitchfix.com slash basement Stitchfix spelled s-t-i-t-c-h f-i-x.com slash basement Go check it out. Dude. You killed those ads, bro. Did I yeah, how many times you think you've done that? Like how many ads do you think you've read in your whole life? Oh god? a thousand Easily really yeah easily dude. I've been doing this in 2015. Yeah, damn dude Some mad shit out here good for you Yeah, I'm only I'm only allowed to and the reason why I keep selling I have to keep doing ads

It's because people are buying yeah, which I appreciate guys. It's literally a full disclosure here. Okay Tell them you guys are actually taking full advantage of the ads So advertisers actually love the basement yard. Yeah, and it's not because of us No, it's because of you. Yeah, they could care less about us. Yeah, we don't give a they don't give a shit about It's it's true though. Yeah, it'll I mean it's They care like enough. No, but but it's like they care enough It's like that guy that says hey, I'll bring it to a cool party But he doesn't hang out with you the whole night. He kind of just leaves you to fend for yourself

That's what it's kind of like our job is to not Say anything to get cancelled. Yes And but they would give us zero dollars if no one bought anything Yeah, you know So the fact that you guys are enjoying the products because I've gotten a lot of you know Hit-ups from people being like, oh, this is fire. Like this thing that you're promoting is like sick and I bought it It's awesome. Blah blah blah. So I really do appreciate that. I'm glad you guys are liking the stuff. I'm glad it's like a two-way street They help the show you guys like that stuff and we use all the stuff, which is yeah

I have all this free. We have all this stuff. Um, but yeah, it's it's cool. So it all works out One hand washes the other is that one? I was like, I don't know what the fuck I'm one hand wash the other both wash the face I don't I never understood that one hand washes the other Oh guys Do me a favor Uh, I just want to take this time to say this Keith is back to streaming now. Oh

So we redid our basement. So this kid couldn't play video games couldn't stream for the longest time. He streams on twitch Surprised he didn't kill everybody in that house. So am I if I couldn't play video games for how long it was a while Basically like two months. Yeah, I would have shipped my pants at least minimum ship my pants just from anger Yeah, I would have anger so angry. I got a poop Imagine that's what happened when you got really angry because you know if you get afraid you or you could pee your pants Yeah, like I got so scared. I peed my pants. But if you get really mad you shit your pants Dude fights would be awesome covered in shit Yeah, it'd be like two

messy pigs Like a scene from snatch The point I'm happy fucking Keith's gonna be streaming again. I used to watch him all the time I love watching the stream. So Keith's streaming. Uh, his twitch is twitch.tv slash k santa gato Uh, go follow him go subscribe because he's back uh doing it And uh, you know, I just redid all of his like logos and stuff. I'll throw a lower third up there Oh, yeah, cool. I have the old one. There you go. So, uh, yes, I got you Keith. Go check out. Where's my phone dog Um, but yeah, he couldn't stream for two months. So he so like, you know, he lost a bunch of subs

Yeah, we're gonna get those subs back big time easy big time easy. Um Yes, so go check out Yeah, so go check out Keith. Um, when's he gonna stream? What's the date? Does he have a date? No, he streams like every day Not every day, but like most days what when he's come back stream. Let's get in there and get that sub train rolling Yeah, well, he's it's tonight. I'm not doing anything. I'll be in there Yeah, we'll see um, anyway

You wanted to talk about uh, oh, yeah, this fucking thing pissed me the fuck off See, all right. So in south carolina, right? Justin Bieber and uh, the other one Uh, hailey. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Stephen Baldwin's daughter She's hailey Bieber now. I don't I don't know who she is. What does she do the model right? She's a model. Yeah. Yeah, um They're having a second wedding and they had it in south carolina Okay, right Didn't they just get married? I don't know

Why would you have a second wedding? You know what second weddings are for when your grandparents are old? And it's really cute to like see them renew their vows. That's when it's cool to have a second wedding You know what i'm saying? Okay, like why would you have a second wedding? It kind of it diminishes the first one Does it? Yeah, I gotta be honest. It does I judge and if I got you a gift for the first one I gotta get you a gift now No, that's different. I'm not bringing shit. Yeah. No, I'm not doing that. No, I'm not buying you another pot I've got damn thing. I bought you toaster. Yeah, listen. I got you a microwave. It was expensive

Yeah, fuck you you think I'm buying some more cutlery. You're wrong. It's don't finagle me out of another gift No, I'm saying I'm talking about real people. No, no, no if you want to just do a pot You want to do a potty? That's fine. I'm cool with that. But if I have responsibilities I'd better be able to show up in shorts and a tank. That's what I'm saying That's that's ridiculous for you to ask me to come to your second wedding and fucking gift you again You can't be gifted suck my fat showed. I also don't think rich people have that What like gifts rich people do gifts, dude. No, but like Jesus hulk hogan comes flying out of you

Rich people love doing doing rich people stuff and no rich people stuff is giving rich gifts Yeah, but what I'm saying is like, yo, if Justin Bieber invited me to his wedding I'm not giving you a fucking like envelope with like $500 in it No, but you're also a guy that like we go to a party and not bring chips. So like I understand that I would definitely bring I feel like I would have to like remind you to get chips like You wouldn't make it a conscious effort to be like, you know what? I should bring some chips. It's a party That's because I always do the I I am the party. Okay, but No, I usually host parties. Yeah, but I don't see you like stopping off somewhere in my mind. That's wrong

I don't see you pulling over. You're wrong. I should grab some chips for this thing I if anything I go above and beyond for the most part. It's it's the ones where you're talking about or like Whatever parties because usually if someone's throwing a party, whatever party like definition For instance this weekend. Oh god. I hope he's not listening. For instance this weekend is my cousin's Kid's first birthday. That's a whatever party Yeah, I hear so I'm not gonna bring chips. No, you gotta bring gift. Oh, I'm gonna bring a gift obviously for the kid But I'm saying like parties like that like I'm not bringing like a food item No, I think if it's a baby's birthday, you should supply the food

Yeah, because you're coming with gifts Now if it's just a party if it's just a party, it's like, yo, I'm throwing a party You can bring something Right like a like a wine or a liquor, but the but the thing the thing is in our family like Like my mom brings shit Right, that's a momly duty though. But that's what I'm saying when we go to christmas Uh-huh all the moms bring shit. Yeah, that's like those are momly duties

Yeah, so like I don't bring anything because I don't need to bring like there's if I brought something It would it would just sit in the corner, but christmas isn't a whatever party christmas is christmas I know, but when they house there's different rules But I'm saying it's like shit gets done like I would be overkill I got yo, I got siblings above me too. I know I know there's higher I gotta wait there's levels to me. There's levels to this shit Keith needs to bring at least five bunt cakes for me to start even considering bringing a casserole. He's not a bringer No, well, none of us are yeah

I think once you start having children is when you start bringing bringing gifts to family parties like that Well, family parties are different. All right. So what kind of part the old people I'm talking about like let's say Ralph of all people was like, yo, I'm having a party Um, it's for sunday night football. Okay You bring you bring something And he's like, hey, I'm gonna order some pizza. I'm like, yo, if you order pizza, I'll bring some chips I'll bring some dip or I'll bring some fucking something to drink What classic example like I would like I would never just walk and be like, yo

What's good and start eating because I wouldn't feel comfortable because I didn't pitch in at all $3 bags of chips can get you two slices of pizza Use your nude. That's just that's just that's just fucking science. That's just fucking science. That's just numbers. Yeah No, but I feel you but like like when I go to Connecticut to my friend's summer house, right I'll stop at stop and shop and I'll like Overbuy on like alcohol and I'll buy some chips and shit But I always get yelled at when I bring chips because they go crazy with the chips But like I'll overbuy. How do you get yelled at about chips? Ships are great. Who's yelling at you about chips?

Do I know them? No my Espos mom will be like, oh not yell at me, but be like we have tons of shit. We have real food. Why are you eating chips? No, no, no, no. Why'd you do that? That's like such an italian thing like they're like italian, but also greek and I know so it's a hard accent to It's just like, oh, but she was saying no, she was she was making it seem like we have a bunch of stuff You didn't need to do that. It's fine. Thank you and like she'll keep them obviously But it would be it's unnecessary So I buy a lot of like and we go up there and we drink like fucking

Pirates and shit. So I buy a lot so I buy I don't care if anyone drinks anything Like you know what I'm saying like I don't mind doing that right when we were in utah I bought all the groceries twice I was like, it's cool. Where's that in the hampsons? You didn't buy anything. Yes, I did. Would you buy I bought all that stuff at the farmers market We bought four peaches. No, we bought a bunch of other stuff Me and julien talking about it get the fuck out of here. We did that's hilarious That is funny

Yo, joe you want to know where you're not a helper in the kitchen. I'm useless in the kitchen. Yeah Joe literally like I cleaned up the kitchen Yeah A bit a bit a bit not a bit A bit no you want it you want you want me to not but you know, I cleaned that kitchen No, you did you did you did so I can't I can't cook I can't clean I mean, I can't cook and he was cooking the whole time you didn't cook I helped cut vegetables cut one fucking onion. No, I didn't I cut way more than that

I cut two onions. No and garlic I helped prep stirred pot did all that stuff and then I convinced you to do that too. Look at this That's how you make pasta guys stirred a pot. You don't make pasta. Could you make pasta? Yes, I can make pasta. I don't know I can make pasta blindfolded drunk you haven't cooked once since you lived here. Listen, how many months have you lived here now? I don't know Uh, I think last uh, what the fuck is in your cup? What are you talking about

It was water Why is it like that? Probably because you need a filter on that fucking thing dude. Why yeah, what is that? What am I drinking fucking ghost water? Look at this fucking thing. What is that dude? That's your water, dude. No, it's not. It's your water, brother It's your water, dude. It's your water, man. It's your water, bro. The water is coming in coming in, dude I'm not to slam it like I'm talking about What are you talking about?

I take you as a guy like a show up guy. Oh, yeah. No, I'm not a show up guy Oh, I thought someone was whistling. Yeah I was like, what the fuck? I was like, oh my god, there's a parade outside. Um, no, but uh, no, I don't do that I don't do that. I did when I was younger obviously I did that because like I said family parties is like what I would do like a lot and I always would host Like Super Bowl parties like yo, here's the thing too when I host parties at my house because we used to do the Super Bowl every year I buy a keg chips

Sandwiches ask for nothing. See, I hope that other people brought things there though Sometimes they bring chips and shit, but I would be very vocal being like, yo It's not one of those things where everyone has to bring something's not pot. Look right, but I am bake I still bring stuff though. It's about the gesture It's not a no because I went out of my way to be like, yo, don't we have mad shit right? But it's still about the gesture. Yeah, but my beers bring something different. I mean bring wine or something But I have shit. I'm always gonna bring something Regardless, if any just stays there, then you drink it when you get to it. Then I get yelled at because of my mom

Yeah, I hear you but so I that was the thing I learned very early on that you don't you don't come empty handed ever. No, you don't I don't do that ever Abba never never it's gonna cost you a lot back to what we're talking about with the with the weddings. Yes If you can afford it I think it would be awesome to like I'm not whatever what you get married this year whatever day it is. I don't want to say what day it is

Because whatever. Yeah, but whatever day it is the internet. Yeah, it's weird. Yeah, um, whatever day it is Imagine every single year on that day or around it It's like a wedding party and it's you don't have to wear dresses Right, right, right, right, but it's like everyone gets together again And we just dance the night away. See the one thing I would think would be cool is like I've always kind of had this in my mind where it's like, you know, you go on the honeymoon obviously as a couple the first time Then the second year is like your first year anniversary. You do a honeymoon with like other people Not like people that you have sex with but like swing like your friends and like their girlfriends or wives or significant others or

Whatever and you guys all do a getaway together for the anniversary. I think that would be cool That can't be true because it's a one-time thing Oh, it's not it's not it's not every year Oh, I was gonna say every like if you could afford it like if you were some very rich person Just throw a banger every year like if it costs you like $10,000 to throw a party. Yeah, I don't know like I don't know how much actually it's probably more. Yeah, that's cheap in new york Yeah, but if you didn't need like a photographer, you don't need flowers. You don't need this and that it's like Yeah, we probably have a friend that could DJ you get a venue a band or a dj and that's it. Yeah, you know like

Whatever we get we don't need to the food We'll figure out the food but it's like you just dance and you have fun It's all the people that were at your wedding and you know, I feel like that but it's not a wedding though You're not having a ceremony again already. No, absolutely. Yeah, see like I don't want to watch you get married twice Like I don't understand that I don't understand this Well, I think when you're rich and it's for old people though old people renew their vows and it's cute Yeah, but you do that after you don't do that after 15 months. You do it after like, you know 50 years That's what I'm saying like maybe even 10 years. I could do I could understand

No But even that's pushing it even that's pushing it. Let's let's push it be married for a little while you want to get married again To the same one. Yeah, what does that even mean? I don't know this what happens We so I have so much money. It's all the fucking free time on your hands. Isn't that like also against the law I don't know. I don't know. I don't know Do you have to like get divorced to get married again? Or can you just can continue to get married? Like is that like you you like prestige? Yeah, yeah, that's what it is. You know, that's the richest whitish shit ever to get married again

Are you prestige your marriage? I just like, yeah, let's just you I love you so much. I want to marry you all over again That's exactly what he said to her 100 and she was like, okay And then they did it What's in South Carolina Myrtle Beach Oh, and and uh, where's charleston? South Carolina. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, and um They have sea turtles down there. They hatch And then they make that little dash towards the water

Really? Yeah, I would love to see that one day. I know a lot wants to see that that'd be cool Just turtles hatching to fucking try and get there and just like fight all fucking seagulls Yeah, a lot of them die. Yeah, because it was And they come and eat them Yeah, man, you can't even go save them because you gotta let like nature take its course Fuck no, I'll fucking rip that seagull's asshole out through its throat No, man over a turtle. Fuck a bird, dude. I want turtle. I want this world to be way better if there was less birds more turts You'd rather bird over turt. You ever see the video that's strong. You'd rather turt over bird

Oh, yeah, I'd rather turt over bird. Okay, but I like birds, but I don't like them like that You don't like birds enough Yeah, I'm not gonna have to watch a gull eat a baby turt Okay, you don't want that. No, I never see that straw get pulled out of that turtle's nose. Yeah, man. That shit was sad That shit sucks, bro. Yeah, man. I've never seen a thing a bird get pulled at anything. Yeah engine Yeah, I that that shit really got to me. I stopped drinking like out of straws for like eight days after that Yo, I went to a place ninth day. I was back on straws It's convenient. Let me tell you something though. A metal straw is awesome. No, it's really cool

But it bangs off my teeth sometimes. Yeah, it chips me it clips me it clips me. It hurts, man Yeah, I don't I I can understand drinking out of a metal straw is a dangerous game, but it does save the environment It does it does do you do you care about the environment? Yeah, no, no, no, I mean like I don't litter and shit I don't litter but like I could probably be like I'll take a shit in the woods though Yeah, I'll take a shit in the woods. I think that's cool. I think you can yeah, no I think they prefer disintegrates or whatever the biodegradable. I'm I'm fertilizing. Yeah feeds the soil. Yeah Poop is the circle of life. All right. So what else? What else you got? Were you asking me some?

I didn't care about the environment. Yeah, I want trees to be big. No, but like have you ever thought about being more like environmental as I think about all the time I think about it all the time. I want to start a thing But I don't know where to start and a part of me is like, yo, like I'm not gonna drink like aluminum I'm not gonna drink plastic bottles anymore And then I'm like then you get thirsty and then I'm like damn fiji's 239 for two. That's crazy Yeah, that's pretty good and I copped two of them now. I have two plastic bottles, you know I I don't

Actually never mind. I can't say but we did a really cool episode of other people's lives And it's about this is it really it's not directly about this But it's interesting Because it has to do with this and a and the way that this person kind of fuck Whatever, it's it's it's really cool and it was mind-blowing right and this person would just blow your mind because you're like Oh, I would love to like, you know, stop doing this and that they just yeah I want to learn like more about it. But like I could never be like one of those people that like You know every once in a while I gotta have I gotta have like a nice bottle of water

Or a gatorade dude I'm not a big gatorade guy. No, but I need something that's like that's cold that comes out of there Do they put gatorade in cans? They do I think isn't aluminum more Recyclable than plastic is I don't know the facts. I think I think aluminum is more recyclable and eco-friendly than plastic is I think i'm correct. If i'm wrong someone, please let me know in the in the comments. Why am I doing this with my finger so much? Are you playing piano? Do you still play piano? No, I haven't played in a while. Should we start playing again? I know I want to stop playing

Um, no, you're still playing Music to my soul though. What do you want me to do? Uh, what was I gonna say? No, but I feel like I feel like You you could be environmentally friendly without being like a crazy environmentalist. Yeah, I'm not gonna throw a pain on anyone's jacket Yeah, you know what I mean? Like I'm not gonna drop and kick anybody for wearing like a fucking possum hat You know, I mean like you got a problem with people wearing fur coats. No, I don't Yeah, I don't know if I do either because here's why and here's my explanation I feel like the natives used to wear that's that's all that's the only argument I have I go back to I was like, yo, dude

People used they used to hunt animals Yeah to eat them and it's like well, you don't need to do that like you don't need to hunt or to survive But like yeah, but my body needs certain nutrients like uh They're like, yeah, you get like, you know protein from other sources and stuff like that But it's like I don't know man. I like I like I like a steak Yeah, I mean I also don't like I'd be full of shit to say I don't you know what it is Like I have a very uh hypocritical and just skewed view of all that

Oh, yeah, I'm a huge hypocrite when it comes to that show because when it comes to like pita and stuff Like I they would probably just like spit in my face because I listen We're at the top of the food chain There's some perks with that. Yeah, do I agree with everything that we do? Nah, but love chicken. Yeah, I hate that. We're injecting like Fucking Led into them or whatever the fuck or like steroids into the chickens uh, but you know Gotta eat, you know, I mean and like the only thing and that's the thing and like with the furs and stuff

I'm like, all right cool Like and I understand like people have this argument of being like yeah back in the day People would because people don't necessarily I mean they do but they have left less of a problem with people who hunt And then eat the food that they hunt that is the circle of life essentially right um what people used to do back in the day But they're like, oh people are just hunting foxes Not eating them for pelts and just getting their fur. Yeah, and I get having a problem with that. It's like, yo if you're gonna do it like have the meat Turn the bones into forks. Yeah, and you know make the

You know I'm saying but at the same time it's like, yo you But you're over here at vegan restaurants ordering like cauliflower buffalo wings and not even finishing your order So you're also hypocritical. Yeah, I'm saying you're throwing away food. Yeah, you know and and the only thing is that's tough with it's like It doesn't stop. It's like you could always be like a little more like environmental. I feel like It's like, yo, like you're like clothes aren't organic. I'm like, yo, bro. Like when's this gonna fucking stop? You know what I mean? I have to you have to pick your and choose your battles or certain things It's like listen, don't throw shit in the street. You know what I mean? Try to recycle and that's all I do. That's all I try to do

Yeah, you know and like and for me, I don't think I could ever stop eating meat I think I could if I had a chef Yeah, there's no way that I'm gonna be able to look at grubhub every day and be like, yeah, let's just go meatless I honestly and like I only enjoy food because of the social aspect to it, but I don't enjoy food See that's like absurd thing to say like obviously I like food and and whatever blah blah blah

but if if I had to eat the same fourth like A menu of seven things for the rest of my life. I could do it. Yeah, I think I could too. They would be gross No, even if they weren't gross like I could just eat it Like, you know, whatever. I I don't care about it that much. I like though I like being with people and new experiences having conversation while eating I like like, oh, I've never had this thing before like I'll try it like that's an experience Like that part of it I get but just like

I I'm not like, you know, I don't believe you'll eat anything though why Because I feel like some things will be like, I don't want to eat that Well, I think everyone has like a Thing that it's not appetizing to them. It doesn't necessarily mean that like toss it back You should toss something back every time wants at least Like it took me a while to get you to oyster Yeah, well

Like would you but now you'll never eat oysters again? Probably I have the oysters again. Have you really? Yeah That kind of sounds like you lied. No, I did with you again. Oh, yeah, you did. Yeah. Yeah, they're not bad, right? I don't think they're good. Okay, but they're not bad though I just think they're like a thing It's like rice like, you know how rice doesn't have a taste. It's like, oh man, try this rice. It's like it just tastes like rice Yeah, but you gotta put some horseradish on that's what I'm saying But it just tastes like I'm eating something that has horseradish on it doesn't have necessarily be like oh when people are like

Dude oysters are just unbelievable. I love this is bullshit. I love oysters though But why do you love oysters because they don't have a taste well, they have some sea salt They have tasted the ocean a little bit. I like that I like that a lot I think I think people just like the fact that like oysters or something that people don't always like so they like to say that They like no that I categorized like that's more like caviar for me like Caviar is just like it's cool because like people say it's cool to eat. It's just expensive. Yeah And I don't think like caviar is good. It's not worth 150 dollars though. No

For jar this big, but I don't see how oysters is like when people are just like, oh my god, dude It's so I'm like, you know, it tastes like whatever you put on it. Do you like clams? And they're all right. What about what about mussels is clams make more sense to me? I love mussels because you could bake clams Yeah, and that mussels, but that that's that's different. Yeah You know, yeah, I hear you bake clams are fantastic They're okay And you don't like lobster too, right? I like lobster. Do you like lobster the only thing about lobster is that I like lobster. I love I'll eat lobster

I'm not like, you know, I just hate that a lobster rolls this big and it's 14 dollars I hate that shit. It's like dude. Give me four more of these fucking lobster rolls. I think I might be allergic to shrimp Maybe I eat shrimp and I felt my part of my mouth get all tingly. I have that sometimes when I eat eggplant Eggplant. Yeah, I have like a slight allergy to eggplant. So you see how eggplant tastes? Yeah to me That's a food where I'm like if anyone's like, dude Eggplant is unreal. I'd be like relax. I know it's not roasted eggplants pretty good though. It is good Yeah, but it's good. It's not gonna be like, oh my god. I know that's a roasted eggplant Yeah, I hear you. I hear you're saying but a steak will do that

Right, I could have a shitty steak and it'll ruin the rest of my meal Yeah It will if now if I have an amazing steak It could actually pick up the other stuff on the side of it. Like I'm like at least the steak was good right I could live with that. Do you put ketchup and stuff on steaks? No, I think if you put stuff on a steak, I have done that before but I used to do it when I was a kid and then I just realized That's not how you eat. Isn't it weird that there's certain ways you have to eat stuff?

Well, I think there no, I don't think there is a certain way to eat stuff. I do. I believe that I do I think that whatever makes your experience like good. Yeah, I mean, listen at the end of the day It's your money. You bought it. Do it. You fuck the thing if you want. It's not your table. Yeah, but you know But a part of me as a person if I went to a restaurant and I got a steak if I went to a steak house, right? I went to like uh, Ruth Chris uh, Ruth's Chris and I got and I got something and then I just see a guy next to me just go A part of me is going to be like, oh, why are you doing that? Oh like you put ketchup on it on his steak? Yeah, that's a little crazy. I'm gonna be like, what are you doing?

What's that about? Yeah, I don't want to ask it. Yeah, you know, I've dipped a steak and catch Also, if you just get a hamburger, I'm gonna fucking murder you Oh, throw some cheese on that. Yeah, throw some cheese on that. Oh, no. You can throw some cheese on that, bitch. Yeah Jack cheese out here eating out here fucking eating hamburgers Dry meat and dry bread you fucking sick fuck I hate when I get that question at like barbecue. So I was like, do you want cheese? And I'm like I want fucking cheese. Yeah, Janice cheese. I want both side cheese. Put the cheese on it Susan. I put cheese on both sides See, I'm not yeah, see like if I could make a decision like that

But sometimes motherfuckers don't buy enough and you got to ration the cheese. I hate splitting cheese Oh, you know what? I love speaking of splitting you split that little burger and have you slip a piece of cheese in that hole let it Melt in your mouth. Hell yeah. Do you ever uh, I like potato buns Yo potato buns are fire. I think it's fun. Yeah, I prefer potato Like yo, they're like armor. It's hard to like poke a hole in them. Yeah, you could throw it in hurt a kid What a potato but you know, it's weird about those those hotdog buns that are like kind of bread like they're like kind of white bread But they're not what is that? They look like rectangle rolls. Yeah, what is that? And then they split them down the middle

It's like bitch cut this in half. Don't cut this on top. Yeah, I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa We're cutting this vertically now. Yeah, it's just strange. I don't like this. No, I don't like that But I'll still eat it. But those ones are socky Potato buns though. They're like they're like a little yellow They got a yellow tint. They got that little hint of potato in there too. They get that hue Who it's it's so nice that yellow hue especially too when you feel like the juicier burger kind of soaking up into the god damn Or like you like bite it. So like when you buy it naturally you squeeze you give it a little squeeze

And then it bleeds out onto the the plate and you're like, oh, and then you take a piece of your bun and you're like You soak that up and you suck that down. I'll tell you every vegan that's listening right now. Just fucking turn this show off Long as you can go without eating meat. Oh, wait tomorrow's october 1st Do you think you can make it the whole month of october without eating meat? Absolutely not because You know, you can't do it november it's fucking thanksgiving Christmas you ain't making it out no

New years you're probably gonna eat some kind of meat if you if you gave me like a menu No, I can't do it. Let me just tell you I can't I don't I don't know how many days do you think you could go I went like two and a half weeks. I would have to be very educated on what the what the um replacement Yes, yeah, because there are things that I enjoy that I might Like I don't realize right now aren't because you could eat pizza every day Yeah, but you can't get pay up around but like you could wake up in the morning Like what's your usual breakfast if you are to have breakfast because a lot of times you skip like a banana and apple and water

All right, so you're already you're already a third of the way there Or like yeah, but I would but eggs is eggs meat. No It's not considered. It's not considered obviously vegan Because it comes from it comes from right an animal Like they say you shouldn't eat anything that has a mother or father Shit so I can't eat babies Yeah, this sucks. Yeah The weirdest one to me is what about abandoned ones

No DNA they had to come from somewhere. Yeah, you're right You know, it's weird how I know humans can do this too. Hey, bro Orange has got parents. Yeah, they do they're there are there are male and female the tree is your dad plants could be male or female They got dicks No, they don't but they could be male or female Gotta have a dick then. I think I don't know if it's a dick per se It's it's the god be a plant. Do flowers have dicks plants got gotta have cocks I know their boy girl flowers and they they cross pollen they they fuck

Yeah, but they just spit that thing over. Yeah, I think they just go And it's like pollen. Yeah They're tinky shit. That's like dust fucking Like that's what they do. They fucking the wind Yeah, they wait for a breeze and like you'll take all this jizz. It's like hold that wind's coming. Yeah Is that like dandelions when you like blow a dandelion? Yeah coming. Yes. It's just like let go like uh That's kind of a good symbolization of coming actually Yeah

You ever make wishes with a dandelion dude so many and none of them came true and you blow it out Yeah, you blow you blow this fucking flower and you're like it was it's supposed to be this like beautiful experience But the flower ends up looking like an old woman who's in the wind. Yeah, it's all fucked up And you're like oh damn this flower is hideous now You just kind of throw it like uh try to rotate it to blow it all off. Yeah. Yeah, that's bad What's the you know, it's weird. You know, it still makes me like Not sentimental. I guess sentimental like when I see fire flies Bro, I don't really see fireflies, right? Why don't you mad fireflies in 1998 and now they're scarce. Where are they?

Where did the where did you go? Listen? Come back. I'm about to take out a full page ad in the paper Fireflies are missing. Where are they? I used to have jars full of these guys. Yeah, man. I would light up my room Yeah, dude. I was I used to let them out of my room too and they would and my dad would get Oh, no, I would put those bitches in a jar. No, I was dumb poke holes though. I let them breathe Yeah, no, no, no you poke holes He used to put them in a mason jar but one time me and my brother called like 15 and I'm thanks And we let it out in our room and we were like, yo turn the lights off and the shit was cool

And even Jared came in there was like, yo, this is cool. Then my dad came in there was fucking piss He's like, yo, this is I get it. But this is you're about to get fucked. He was like, he's like, I want him all out You ever kill a firefight by accident? Yes, and then they're fucking bloody ass and then you get the blood on you Yeah, it was kind of like I got glow hands. It was I got glowy hands now It was kind of like like war like war paint like glow fluorescent war paint. I was like, what's up? It was like being at like a cold plate concert. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I was like a hippie 14 year old girl. I was just in love 14 year old girl, um, yeah, she was tough. I haven't yeah. Yeah, I uh, that's one bug that if you killed accidentally you were like, oh All right, let's use its butt. Yeah. All right. Let's use it as a marker

You're like, oh damn, let's write our names in this Oh, shit, you ever chase each other with its ass. Yo, you ever murder a slug? Yeah, dude. I used to put salt on him. Yeah I used to horrible. Yeah, man. That's basically guantanamo bay. Hey god Maybe build a shield for him. Yeah, our slug just snails with no shields homeless snails Wait, are they they're homeless snails. Yeah watching us you ever come out and see a slug like on your step And it's like a summer night now. I'm like, dude, you were one of the grossest things get out of here Yeah, it just looks like you've ever thrown a slug. I used to pick them up and throw them up against the wall I want to pick up those boogers. Yeah, I used to pick them up and throw them up against the wall

Because they would stick to the wall they would live there. They wouldn't die. Yeah, I was like Oh Oh I don't know. I don't know You ever kill a cat? Yeah, I did. I told you that story I ran over when I killed someone's cat. I was waiting for you to be like, no I thought you meant to say that to be like remember that time you killed that cat. No, no, no

I wanted to pick a normal animal. No, I don't think I could kill a normal cat No, dude, like I'm I'm saying like just like Yeah, I choke a cat to death. Yeah, obviously, you know, you're not a murderer Yeah, I'm watching enough Netflix to know that if you can kill a cat you can kill a huge now If a if a cat attack like it's crazy because even if a cat attacked me in public right? I was like You know what I mean? Like, you know those times Square the cat like runs up your leg and does like that weird cat shit Like I could throw a kick at a cat for sure to get it off me. I'll fucking shot put that little bitch Yeah, but I couldn't kill it like I'm not gonna chase it down and kill it

Yeah, no, I'm not gonna chase down a cat. No, but I'll punch a cat like I could punch a dog too. What animal would you kill? Like if he was attacking you like a fish, I'd kill a fuckfish. I don't know if I could kill a fish He could physically like how do you kill a fish? I could like Rip their gills off. No, I could not do that. I'm not built for that. What animal could I kill? I don't know I could kill I could kill a possum because they're gross Yeah, I'm good on possums dog. Those were extinct. Okay Yeah, there was one time there was a possum across the street from our house And we were trying to get it off this fence and it wouldn't leave

It's huge huge disgusting possum disgusting animal And I put it uh a wiffle ball bat Toward this tail and it took its gross tail and wrapped it around the bat and took it from my hand And held it. Yeah, it was disgusting. Well, wiffle ball bat doesn't like anything, but he grabbed it and I was like, oh Oh, it's grabbing it Disgusting animal. Yeah, I hate I hate them They're ugly. Yeah, make them cuter. There's one time uh

We we used to have this place called mount hope cemetery. It's still there in hastings and it had uh a fence that was uh metal bars And they were a little sharpened at the top like, you know, like those old like cast iron like, uh fences What do you mean like in front of a witches house? Yeah, basically it kind of looked like that It's just like the key people, I guess from going in there at night. You know what I mean? Okay

A deer went to jump that shit and got stuck on it And the cops had to shoot it and kill it. Yeah, man. My cousin had to shoot a cot Cot I'll tell you about the same. My cousin had to shoot a cop. No, Mike. I should be like, yo, your car's probably lay low for a while I said shoot a cot. Is this the same one with the one year old's birthday? It's not like I said It's not like I said cat but in a like a cot my father one shot the cot. No No, my cousin no, my cousin's husband is a cop and he had to shoot a deer

He he works in jersey and when they get hit by cars and they're like suffering on the side of the road You got to go over and you gotta shoot it. Yeah, so he I saw the dash cam footage though. Yeah It was just funny because like if you put music behind it, it just Like he shot it Because he shot it and then he just like Because yeah, I mean, it's sad dude. I mean, yeah, of course He's doing the deer a favorite. Yeah, so he shoots it and then kind of get sunglasses on so it's hilarious Kind of walks away from the scene, but the funniest part is that he like looked back at it. Damn

So he shot it and then he was walking back to the car and then he was just like That's right. Let's get out of here It's hilarious. Yeah, but the deer was like just like stuck on the thing and they were like, yeah We're gonna have to shoot it and then they shut down the street and they shot it Yeah How high is this fence? It's probably around like five or six feet. I ever told you I told you the deer got over it. I told you I punched a deer once on this show You punched a deer. Yeah. Yeah. I I punched a deer in the head like this. Why knocked on its head

Yeah, knocked on its head. Why so we were in the backyard one time and ziggy was out there and ziggy was There was a deer in the back and the thing was a tall fence and the deer couldn't jump it So it was trapped in the backyard just trapped in the backyard so I don't know why I said that twice So so we're back there and and ziggy's like getting closer. I'm like yo ziggie. What are you doing, man? I was like chill chill. Yo, this thing kicked the shit out of ziggie. Kick them hard. I'll kick your dog Yeah, kick them like like did this weird like jump kick thing

So like I had to get to ziggie So I'm running towards ziggie and the deer like turned around the run and I just kind of like schmott like Like like that on the head like get out of here. Get out of here And then I took ziggie inside and the thing tried to jump And didn't see this in like this invisible fence that my uh neighbor had He was like a make you know those fences they make before they build the fence is basically just like plastic Yeah, he jumped and didn't clear that and fucking toppled over and like fucking got it up mad weird And like started running. I was like, you know, that was fucking crazy. Yeah, he fucking kicked ziggie in the back

Like Trapped in the backyard trapped in the backyard just trapped in the backyard Oh my god, I ever tell you the story about how I got surrounded by deer once So where I lived in westchester. I lived in westchester So where where I lived in westchester. Do you guys ever have deer out here? No way. I've never seen one deer raccoon You got racco. You got skunks No, no skunks here, right? Yeah, see peppers pew and westchester. So I'm walking home and there's this little

Where I used to walk home from Alana's house where there was a pathway for me to walk um And I'm walking and I see a deer like Do one of those like look at me. I'm like, yo, it's all good man. Like don't worry about it I look to my left. There's another deer I look to my right. There's two other deer and then behind me. There's a baby deer So I'm surrounded by a deer. I penetrated their deer fortress Yeah, that's for sure or their deer circle and I'm now I'm like this like turning around

Like listen, like I don't want any problems. I don't I don't have any problems. I don't I don't want it. Yeah And the only thing that came to my mind was just to go Get out of here Ah I did this weird tornado punch and I was just like get out And I turned and yelled at the little one I was like, ah, ah And then they eventually took off and then I realized if you charge them, they'll leave

I do like a Simone I realize if you charge them you leave I actually saw a video on instagram of a dog The most fucking gangster dog I've ever seen They do was on a walk and ran into a mountain lion By the way, if you just go on a walk with your dog and you run into a mountain lion Time to move. Yeah, we had a bobcat in Hastings once it got hit by a car We weren't allowed to go to the woods for like three months Damn, so a bobcat. Yeah, it got it got hit by a car died crazy, um, but yeah

This dog was like inches from a bobcat and was barking at it and a bobcat was just like chilling like barking like a bitch or like What's good? Yeah, like like dmx What's good? bitch Like i'm telling you. I'm out here with my dad stop barking yummy

yummy yummy No, why are you staring at my dad? And then yeah, yo, yo, yo, chill. Yo, yo, yo, that's my dad. You stay at the top You stay at my dad one more time. You stay at my dad again I'm gonna bring you to the light while you're staring at my dog while you're staring at my dad. Yeah, I mean So i'm on there with my dad, right? I walk down the path, right? Bobcat come out of nowhere. My fucking cat came by me. I'm looking at bobcat. I'm like, what? It's good I mean

dmx man Not but come on the show he was he was barking at this bobcat And the dad was like filming it which this guy I don't know how he's filming this like because you and your dog are about to be Right. It's like, hey, my dog's gonna die. Let me film it But then you could hear the guy start screaming and the bobcat was just kind of like And the bobcat was opening its mouth too and like But then it was just kind of like a standoff and then they went there

Yeah, it was scary dude like that bobcat had like probably didn't know but he's like I could fuck these guys up but nothing happened A buddy of mine. It's crazy that you grew up in a zoo though. Basically. Yeah. No, we had skunks. We had possums We had deer sprayed by that scone. No, I've gotten sprayed with uh ziggie got sprayed once How do you clean that? It's like vegetable oil like tomatoes. Yeah, you're supposed to like take a bath and tomato sauce They say but you still smell like shit How long does the stench? My brother got skunked really bad once walking our other dog Valentino

We had a rottweiler named Valentino. The dog was humongous almost killed Mike once Valentino Valentino. Yeah, because we got him on Valentine's day. Oh, so my dad named him Valentino And then we called him Tino for Tino Martinez Teeb, we used to call him Teebust We used to flick his nuts He had these big boisterous balls. They were unbelievable. So like we every once in a while giving me one

You'd flick your dog's balls. Yeah, but dude. I was like six years old It wasn't something where I was just like, you know, I'm not doing it today. So it was ball flicking Hey, it was pretty yeah, I was in the ball Frick Excuse me the ball flicking realm. Okay. I didn't Frick his balls. Okay. Don't Frick his no Or one time Mike was running So we had a way that you could run around the backyard a little bit and run and keep running keep running So Mike was chasing like one of his friends, right? He's chasing me and one and one of his other friends and Tino didn't know who he was

Like he he just saw somebody running. So he's protecting the house and just started biting Mike And my dad came out and I swear when I told you my dad kicked this dog He kicked the fucking shit out of this dog I've never seen somebody land a kick harder in my entire life because he thought the dog was gonna kill Your son's being murdered by your house dog And my dad just goes And kicks Tino like under his chin and he's like his throat He was like

And like dragged Michael to safety. He's like, what are you doing? And then my then they ended up getting rid of the dog I mean dog attacks your son. He went to the farm No, they gave I know the woman they gave him to but I was gonna say your dad drove that out to the country and shot it And it was and they didn't tell us and they were like just come outside I was like, okay, and like Tino was in a cage. They're like, all right. Say goodbye. I was like, what the fuck is happening? They're like, he's gone. I was like, all right Damn, that's sad. Yeah, I was like, I could take care of him and they were like, no, he can't he hurts people

I was like, no, he was just afraid. He was protecting the house and they were like, we can't we can't take care of him Wait, Mike was just running around in the front yard by himself. No, we were running up around the backyard So say this is the house right here. It's my back on my phone So here's the front of the house. You could run around the side Before you get to the back and there was a little space here where Tino would hang out There was like a little cut out area. Okay So he saw the two kids that were our neighbors running around and he never liked those kids and Mike was running with them And he just grabbed Mike and started biting

Thank god. It was Mike and not one of those kids. Yeah Yeah, it would have been bad, but you got it. Yeah, I asked Mike about that story. My dad fucking punted the shit out of the dog That felt so bad What are you gonna do? Yeah You ever see those videos of those? Don't don't do this Or someone shot a dog. No, no, no, no, no. I hate those videos when the cops come and shoot the dog They shot a dog, man And they're like, yeah, sorry, you know time for

I hate that. I hate that shit But yeah, no, he did he went to go live on some farm to some woman that raises rottweiler because he still had his balls So they could like breed them. Yeah but Yeah, I got bit by on my head by a dog. I got mauled by a dog when I was little Yeah, I got bit by an akita here and I got bit by a rodesian ridgeback here Yo, you know how big a rodesian ridgeback is it sounds like a whale you've never seen a rodesian ridgeback You've seen them the the dogs with the stripe on their back

They used to hunt they used them to hunt lions in Africa Yeah, fucking my uncle's dog mason. He bit me that piece of shit Some dog broke his chain and jumped on me when I was a baby. He did he bite you? Or did he just scare the fuck out of you? Uh, there wasn't enough time for him to bite me like he was chained up outside of a deli Me and my mom were walking in and the dog broke the chain and he like pushed on you Yeah, he like jumped with his arms on my whatever and like took me down and the guy like grabbed him But I don't think he was trying to like I said he mauled me, but he didn't mauled me

But I remember him knocking me down. Yeah, I remember the dog bit my face. There's a Scar above my head right here. I don't I forget what side it's on but So here I see that one and then this one he grabbed the hold of my eyebrow and wouldn't let go of that shit He was just eating my eyebrow Yeah And then I have a scar right here on my pinky because I put my mom cut a panic Opened up a can of peas and I just stuck my finger in it. I tried to get a pee out

Of a little ass hole in a can and then my finger got stuck in it And I pulled my hand out and I fucking cut this whole part of my finger was hanging off. See that scar right there I have a scar on my hand because I went to go pet this little white dog It was like a block away from you one of those from my mom's house. Yeah, and the dogs were outside and it was Dude, the dog was like this big like it wasn't big. Yeah It was like a little fluffy dog I'm like I love dogs and he jumped up on the wall because I know how charlie is charlie if you walk by my house People are shook a charlie in your neighborhood. He's huge. Yeah, and like he barks

He has like a But if you like yeah, for instance, they're like the other day. There was a guy who walked by He worked for like conhead. Yeah anybody in the uniform charlie's charlie's up in the fence barking Whatever and then the guy stops and just puts his hands out and starts petting charlie And charlie's just like this is nice. This is nice and he's like And then as soon as the guy stops he goes back to barking. Yeah, we used to have a mailman Who was a fucking g well one of them they loved because he used to give them treats all the time But there was another one that

They were barking and like The guy just opened up the fence Left the fence open. Yeah Walked up and as he's walking up. I can see both dogs are like, oh fuck and like backed up to the door and like sat down And we're like, oh shit. No, this motherfucker lives here. Yeah, like he doesn't give a shit like He's like damn god damn alpha. Yeah, it was crazy. Look. Yeah, so charlie barks like that So I know he scares the shit out of people, but I want to go so I I know how dogs are like that So this dog was barking. I mean, I'm like, oh, it's okay. So I'm going to go pet him

And he just grabbed onto my hand with his mouth obviously shaking it I was like, ah And went like that and I was like bleeding. Oh, I thought you threw the dog No, I was like this and I like pulled my hand out And then I was like bleeding and was it one of those bites where it's white for like two seconds Yes, I think you're like, oh, I'm all right. And then you're like, oh, shit and now it's bleeding. I'm bleeding everywhere The old woman was standing right there. And I was like, ah, and she was just like Told you I shouldn't do that. She was like an old Greek woman. She was like, I shouldn't do that

I don't know. I shouldn't do that It's like an old ass Arnold Schwarzenegger You shouldn't pet our dog. You should not pet my dog The dog is out of control Get down get down from the fence I think we should wrap up. Yeah. Yeah, we're pretty delirious at this point. Yeah talking about scars I don't know scars are cool though. I feel like they give you purse scars remind me that the past is real until my heart opened

Just too real What song is that? I don't know Oh scars by papa roach. I think it's called right papa roach. What's the other papa roach song cut my life into paces This is my last resort Sava gay son come No breathing. Oh, yeah. What is the song about don't give a fuck about something out bleeding I don't know skinny. Neenie. Neenie. Neenie. Neenie. Neenie. This is my last resort. You can find me

On twitter and instagram at daniel priory. Uh, also go check out the stank. Yeah Fucking whore. Yeah, but you're you look better on camera. It's better for comes from Go check out the stank podcast me and frank alvarez get super sexy on that show We talk about your favorite movies tv shows video games and just whatever is your favorite. We talk about it. Think about it right now We talk about that You guys can follow me on social media at joe sanagato Go follow the basement yard on instagram at the basement yard and our patreon that is set up patreon.com slash the basement yard We just sent out all of the personal video messages that you get when you're in the top tier

To everyone who was old one It took a little while for them to get it, but we got them out to everybody Didn't I forget you just thunderously farted. Yes, I did And that is all See you guys next time