The Basement Yard - #213 - A Whole New World

Episode Date: October 28, 2019

On this episode, we discuss Christopher Columbus, Joe goes to Disney World & Danny watches Joe's dogs. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard Danny. Happy Columbus day or whatever. What is it Columbus day? If you want to call it that What does that mean? If you want to call it that's what it's called. Yeah, some people call it indigenous people's day. Oh Yeah, I mean, yeah, I'm not a don't put me on that like you're saying I'm not on the podium right now Just saying, you know, I'm not on you know all CC's team here I'm not trying to Christopher Colombo not making a political point by calling it that's what we're calling it growing up You know, yeah, that's it

It was on the let's just it was on the calendar like that. It's written on the calendar. That's all I know That's all we know is that on my calendar. That's what it says. I just think federal holidays are weird. Why? Because it's like Christmas I get Okay, because it's like, you know JC man, you know I'm saying yeah, but not everyone believes in the old JC. Yeah, but they have they they have their holidays to Okay, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa. There's different ones there. Sure, you know, I think if it's Columbus day You can be able to celebrate

Indigenous people's day if you want. Yeah, of course. It's just there's a little, you know, there's some stuff attached There's no genocide in Christmas. That's all I'm gonna say, right? Yes, there is and I don't think so. No, not that I know of. A lot of frankincense and myrrh. There is Jesus's birthday, but technically it's not even Jesus's birthday Yeah, I have never thought about Christmas in that way. I was just about those presents I know and like all these days are just like they're kind of just days off They're like, you know, you know federal holidays. Yeah, so you don't like that we get days off. No, I mean, I don't You don't what? I don't have a day off. It's Columbus day

Yeah, I'm here. I'm working. Yeah, I'll support that. Yeah, it's also Columbus day for you every fucking Friday. So hey, listen actually, actually Yeah, most Friday Depending on depending on depending on if I have to do something for the show that I could have done on Wednesday or something Right then Friday isn't Columbus day. Correct. So, you know, it works out. It works out. Good Santa God Studios plug there. Oh this thing. Oh shout out to the network. Yeah, come on man big time I'm a team player Joe got a little upset at me because I moved the camera a little bit. I Set it up and then you just dragged it across the floor. Yeah made no sense. Yeah, you kind of got your old-school hair today

Do I yeah a little bit? I don't like it. Why I don't like the old-school hair I think just a little bit like that is like a is like a Easter egg. It's an homage Which episode was there a callback to basement yards past I stuck the Keith pillow back there another Easter egg Yes, of course wait It's like perfectly hidden. Yeah, but I tried to I tried to move them, but then it would have been too weird Yeah, I know. What was that picture taken? Do you know? Ah, so Halloween actually Halloween. Oh, he's kip. He was still Yeah, he was working at the at the school He's working on a school dress like that. Yeah, no fucking way. I

Think so. Yeah Yeah, he quit already got fired No, no He ended up quitting. Yeah, but now bringing it back even the schools. Do you think schools should have off? Like for like just like days. I don't yeah They're always random Mondays, which are great for kids I think it's nice to have a day off, you know Yeah, I used to ask my mom for mental health days because she said it one time when she was off from from work

She took off from work or something. She's like, oh, I'm taking a mental health day once I knew what that was I'm like, oh, you just opened up Pandora's box because I was like, I thought I had to fake throw up Yeah, my whole life because you know back in the day when I would like stay home from school I was really maniacal and you know, I'm saying I go to the store get some New England clam chowder throw that bitch in in the toilet and be like my I threw up She's like, oh, you gotta stay home. That's the best, you know, I'm saying I was crazy with it I was like I was like a Jeffrey Dahmer of

Staying home from school, but then once I learned about mental health days. I'm like, I just feel like not going today Yeah, and what's she gonna say? She can't say anything. I'm stressed out. See, I would feel a times tables are rough long division long It's long. It's long. It's not short. It's for sure long It's not it's longer than short division. That's exactly what which is too long for me on some days Yeah, then you got to carry stuff over. I'm carrying over those your numbers. I'm on. Yeah, what do I got? I gotta carry these numbers over. I don't like it. Yeah, carry over the one now. This is manual labor I'm doing why don't I just you know three only goes in the seven two times you're gonna remain there one now There's decimals. These aren't mine. Yeah, I got it. I got these numbers to work with now

I'm creating new ones within the things that you gave me. I don't like division And you had to draw that thing Not great at drawing division. I was never great at drawing the division thing either. Yeah, and painting the ass Division's got two two signs to one's an X one's not the One is like it's multiplication, but I get you. Yeah, you know, I got confused That's the problem. Hey listen, but it's got this line. It looks like a spaceship It sounds like a little space that spaceship I mean spaceship could be whatever you want. That's true

I anyone's heard of anyone's heard of one. Maybe Christopher Columbus found one. Maybe that's what they probably thought Christopher Columbus was We can pull up in a fucking huge three huge boats. Yeah Wait, hold on was that the pilgrims Think about how fucking weird it out you that was the Mayflower. Okay moving forward. That was the Mayflower. Thank God I would have been terrified What to see a ship for the first time. Yeah, big ones like that. Yeah, I knew ships existed But then when you go to the west side of Manhattan, and you see one, you're like, yeah There's that one by the helicopters and you're like, you know, it's like the intrapid is that it? No, that's a

That's a yeah. I mean, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the that's that's over there though, right? Yeah, I think it's on the other side. I sometimes are so bad at being New Yorkers. It's weird Like we don't go to see that shit. Yeah, I don't know. There's a big-ass ship. All I know is there's one There's some boat. I remember like George Bush like landed a jet on it. I was like, that's a serious boat I'm not talking about boats like that. I'm talking like a big-ass pirate ship. There's one down there by the helicopters. Really? Yeah I've never seen it Dude go look at it. I want to see pirate stuff. I want to climb the sail and get to the crow's necks. Yeah necks Should just snap their fucking necks. Just snap the crow's neck. Fucking crow. No, go to the crow's nest and just like get a

Just kind of look out. See I think People had cooler stuff back then when it was like little stuff Like old telescopes are cool. Oh, yeah, cuz they were accessories or like pocket watches They had like long chains and you can just like flip it up into your hand Oh, look at the dude who like owned a bunch of people and land. Yeah Yeah, like he would wriggle the political like yeah, or those guys that have like the one the one glass to like look at diamonds Real monocle. Yeah, but it is shove it in their eye and somehow it stays there How what is this like mystery? Are you just going this? Yeah, I don't know how it's it's

Defying gravity in a way. I didn't want to say it. You're right. Yeah, there's no adhesive You think you think they'll ever stop calling it Columbus Day. Yeah, I think we're yeah, I think we're kind of at that point, right? Yeah, I mean, I think it's pretty well documented that although this dude did connect the worlds. Yeah, it's some bad stuff Yeah, you know you also said he What do you bring he brought like it's like, oh, no, don't worry I could I could rape and pillage because I brought pepper. Yeah, he brought like spices or did he bring back spices? I think they they trade it was spices. I Read I read that they that the indigenous people had no iron. So when he pulled out a sword, they were like whoa

And they didn't know that it was sharp and they touched it and like cut their hands Because they they've never seen it because their stuff was made out of like sugarcane Which I've never seen sugarcane in my life. I want to see it. You've never seen sugarcane No, I got like a like a drink that had like a sugar. No, what it where was I and I got a drink and they put a sugar Is it like hard wood? No, no, it's not no, no, no, it's uh, you can chew it. It's sugar So it's it's so is it like it's like celery that doesn't break as easy. All right. Got it. Got it But I was just I was just gnawing on that like a really I've never seen that yeah Dude, I was gnawing on it like a little might like a mouse. And then you

Sugarcane, but yeah, he said something like uh Like with 50 men we could take them over and make them do whatever whatever we want Chris said that Chris said that Yeah, I'm probably it's it's it's it's the times a little bit. Well, that's the thing Right. So what that tells me is like all the I mean everyone was a piece of shit back then I want to go record right now. I'm not defending this for you to write that You know your kind of a piece of shit just to think about the mentality like for someone to write that now I'd be like, where is this dude like this is this is a guy's a psycho

Yeah, but back then it was such a thing that it was like casual like writing in your journal like oh 50 guys we could just you know tie him up and make him suck our asses Yeah, that's probably sadly what they did a good amount of the time Oh, you also said they would make good servants and that they were handsome and built. Yeah. Yeah, Christopher Columbus was gay That's what I get from it Maybe All those dudes were important back then dressed the dress a little guy. They dress like drag. Yeah, which Maybe the times again

Maybe I don't know maybe that was the style we all dressed weird in the 90s. That's true That's styles coming back Baggy jeans baggy jeans and like and like weird like emo dance pants I'm not those are back. You've seen them around with the chains on not the chains on them But like the parachute kind of pant we're like the pant like this is your leg and like the pant leg is like this Why I can't you remember those like the emo girls at your school Step on my jeans all the time the bottoms of them be ripped up. Oh Gross I'm like an idiot. Do you think like baggy jeans will ever come back?

Like remember like when rappers used to show up to the red carpet and like they would have a button down that was mad long You remember LeBron suit. Yeah, when he got drafted like terrible Yeah, I don't know if baggy will ever come back like that like it has to be like tapered because that was like very isolated Yeah, there's no other time where that was like cool like you had bell-bottom jeans But it wasn't like flat skate sneakers Like at knees and shit. Yeah, but that was only like a a certain group. Yeah of whites. I was one of them I went to journeys Did you yeah, there's crush DC. Did you ever own any chains?

Chains, yeah, did you ever own like a chain wallet and no, I never know I really hated the chain wallet never had any like puka, you know Never had puka had puka you had puka. Did you did you did you frost those tips? I never frosted my tips my mom let me dye my hair when I was a kid Yeah, no, I don't know if I ever she was she was like no you can't she I asked her a couple times She was like no, I don't know if I ever requested that I do know that at one point in my life I flirted with the earrings. Yeah, I had earrings. Did you yeah? Yeah, I flirted with it I was like yo ma and then my sister shit on that idea which thank God. Did you want to get both done?

Well, yeah, I think that's diamond studs. Yeah, well, isn't there like a gay ear? Yeah, they technically if you get just your right ear, you're gay. Yeah, what I Don't know what to find the gay side of your body if somebody can explain that to me whoever's a it's a very historian-based episode So yeah, I know like what the fuck is that like? Oh, dude, that's the gay ear. It's like what yo, that's a good That's a good good good good earring you got but like yo my man like that's the gay ear How can a ear be gay? I don't know. What does it have to do? I think it maybe goes back to that handkerchief game. We talked about like Side like left left red or right, you know

But an indicator, you know, I had my earrings. I had my ear pierced. I never wanted to suck somebody's cock after Yeah, did you have both or one? I had one it was the left. Okay? Yeah, you know We're all a victim of the times here. That's all it is I remember going there too and like people being like, you know, remember to get your left ear pierced. Yeah, and you're like relax Yeah, dude, it's not gonna turn you gay Like a fucking swastika tattoo. Yeah, Jesus. They were like, all right, brother. Like just like pass me off relax There's some jail brotherhood. Yeah No, it's like I really look at it now. It's like what are we talking we back to Columbus day?

Yeah, yeah, we're staying in the realm of like school and gay ears. Yes, but uh, I Never understood though. Like are people at home like observing this holiday? Columbus day. Yeah, like the people ever observe it. How how I don't know Did you get I never did get in a boat and you I don't know somewhere There's got to be like a Columbus day celebration. You know who loves Columbus is all Italians Cuz he was Italian really cuz I know a ton of Colombian Colombians, okay Keep going. Where are they? I do know Frankie's Colombian. Yeah, that's good. I know Colombians. I know Columbia

No, but I know I know a bunch of Italian people none of them have been like odd Like if you walk in their house because Italian people have weird pictures on their walls And I've never seen Christopher Columbus, but you ever walk into a real Italian person's home Columbus is in there like there's a framed picture of just some woman who's like holding a skull Yeah, I'm like who the fuck is that? It's probably Christopher Columbus's mom No, yeah Christopher Columbus was fucking ugly too. I would have never fucked that guy ever dude No wonder he was on a boat He's trying to look for more people who would have sex with those are the crazy things too about the boats is like

Hey, man, you want to come on this boat for like four months? I'm like, no, it was four months No, I know I just know it was an extreme amount of time and people would die like half the crew would die Yeah, they all get like scurvy. Yeah, whatever the fuck that I thought I used to think that was just a pirate term It's weird. I thought it was like in like scurvy, but I didn't know it was like a real thing that people motherfuckers died from When they got when they got here Is didn't he think he was Asia? India or India. Well, India is like He called them Indians. Yeah, I think I'm mixing this up to no no no

Pilgrims I always get them mixed up. I know a boat landed somewhere and then we started fucking up We didn't land on Plymouth Rock. Yeah, let me rock landed on us. Yeah, I gotta look it up man Cuz I fuck this. Yeah, I don't know if you thought this was Asia or something man. I know he discovered it by accident How how do you discover something by accident? No, man, I think the Indians was was Thanksgiving Like you know usually sometimes we like, you know, we Play up the stupidity right now. I don't know. I look yeah. Yeah, it's okay. I don't know shit either listen all I know is People are upset. Oh, here's what I'll say. That's all I here's what I'll say about double C

I'll say that he got on a boat and sailed in a direction and No one knew what was over there. Yeah, that's crazy. That's you know, if he had anything he had two things racist mind and Big old balls Yeah, again, you know, it's almost like get on this boat and just go Yeah, but if I found people and they were like cool and like bringing me stuff like oh, whoa, you have cool stuff I might want them to be my friends. I might not want to kill them

Me neither. You know what I mean? Oh, man, look at this this week. We'll trade with you and then it's like nice Yeah, it's like you'll make very good servants like yo, you know, that's where his mind went because again very quickly man Yeah, again because it because of the times that was just the mentality back then was just like oh these people are awesome Let's enslave them. Yeah, and you're like what the fuck? Let's steal everything and enslave these people are really nice I'm so glad I was born in this time, but you know, we're all trying to be friends now. Yeah, I'm trying it is good I like everybody. It's a good time to like everybody. Yeah, thank God. I know I you know, I mean I You Imagine living in that time I even watch you watch I would have died. Oh, yeah, how do you see yeah?

I'm pretty useless They're like, you know They would try to make me like a blacksmith and I would try to make one sword and be fucked up and they'd kill me with it I'd die from like popcorn long or some shit. Yeah, something old Being an iron lung forever or some some fucking stupid disease would kill me Yeah, I probably shit from diarrhea died from that. I could die. I would have definitely died from diarrhea I could diarrhea like you know every every I say every like 13 days. I'll squirt run out. Yeah I've diarrhea at least twice three times a month. Yeah, and it's not even like all like a you know a legitimate bound of diarrhea

It's just kind of like a hey, what's up? I'm still a thing. I had a good case at your house. Yeah Sometimes it just rears its ugly head and you're just peeing out Yeah, I think I ate too much snack cheese What is snack cheese your mother has this wonderful thing and it comes in like you know like those weird net bags that hold like Oranges yeah, right? So she has this net bag full of these little three mozzarella nugget snack cheeses and It was it was very full So I was like, you know, I could they could spare a couple

Maybe see you crush mad crush mad sack cheese because you know, I can't eat as many carbs these days Yeah, so if I snack they kind of have to be carbless mozzarella cheese no carbs good fat. It's nice so I'm having it and I'm like Four in maybe and then I'm like That's 12 balls of cheese like they're very little but I was like let's chill out a little bit So like I'm like I put the cheese away and like 30 minutes later my body's just like Yeah, and I was like damn a too much cheese dog cuz I forgot that I'm partially lactose. Yeah, and I eat too much chess That then I don't that'll blow you up. Oh, man, and the worst thing about your house is the bathrooms

There's no bathroom on that first floor. So you either got to go upstairs go down go downstairs Yeah, and I went downstairs. No way. I'm running up upstairs to go take a diary dump ski Yeah, you got it. You got it because you got to use more leg strength. Yeah. Yeah on the way down its quads on the way up It's hamstrings. Do you know hamstrings will force some stuff out of you? Yeah, for sure if it's the right angle Every time going upstairs though, I would forget something up there And then have to go up and get my I have to go up and get my phone my god damn it and the worst thing about The living room is if you switch spots and you and you get comfortable in the recline

Then you realize you left something over there Then you got to press the button on the side. Yeah, like buttons or do you like the release one? Fuck the button? I hate buttons because the thing is too slow. It's so hard to get in and out of there I'd rather just use my legs and like and I'm up. Yeah, but this one you're like And just wait for it and I'm just looking at my phone like all the way over there Yeah, let me ask you a question. I didn't do it. No, have you ever like try? I thought you're gonna ask me if I jerked off in your house What's up? I thought you're gonna ask me if I jerked off in your house

That sounds like a guilty conscience over there. Nope, but I had a good time last night. I'll tell you that. Oh You went home and just unloaded the block. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Yeah, you shook it out. That's why I was just like, all right guys I'm gonna go Danny got out of there. Yeah There's a bottle of the ninth he's like tie game, but I gotta leave. I was like, yeah, I gotta go I have to come. I mean I have to go home. I had to come and go. I'm sorry. I had to come and go There's not there's not great jerk areas in your house. There's a lot of windows Yeah, a lot of eyes on you all the time. You can't jade in there. I don't know how you guys got through life

That's why I'm like a spy now. I'm like very like, you know, I can get in and out of situations pretty easily I can jack off ginsu down there. Yeah, dude. You have to like I have to like I have the hearing of a fox Because I had to I had to know when people were coming. Oh, yeah And you know really put my ear to the ground and know how close steps are that basements really nice Yeah, the basement's really nice. It's really that's like a studio apartment. Yeah. I mean, there's no You can kitchen. Yeah, but you put like a little you got a sink in there You could put a hot plate in there and then and then a fridge. I think all that's illegal a Hot plate. No, if you like make it like an apartment. I

Thought if you own it, you can make it whatever you want. No, I think you like I don't know No, but I'm pretty sure but I'm there's like damn dude. We've been factually wrong probably about 90% of this Today so whoever's fact-checking this one in the comments to give it gives a break No, but they did a really nice job down there. Yeah, I broke Keith's Xbox controller. Sorry Keith. Nice. Oh your controller Snapped it. I will say smash it. No, no, no, I put one of these in like a headphone jack. Yeah, and it was This is what I hate about new headphones too You have to connect it to the headphone and then connect it to the thing Well, I hate that. Yeah, so I connected it and then I put it into the Xbox controller and

I went to take it out and Everything came out except for like the needle at the end of the thing So I'm like, oh fuck man, I will say though that controllers beat the shit already though. Yeah, I'll replace it I'll happily replace it. I'll buy him a new one, but mostly because he needs one Yeah, you know, but as soon as that happened. I was like, yeah, this is terrible Because that's the last thing you want to do when you're house sitting somebody's house Yeah, I don't think we ever said that by the way, Danny was at my mom's. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, maybe I was house sitting he was watching the dogs

Yeah, what he was doing. Yeah, he's chased a little older now and he has to fucking pee every 35 minutes Yeah, he's got a fucking gigantic bladder. You're small small bladder. I don't know So like I don't like to see the old dogs good. You put them in a kennel or something sucks Well, I don't think we were gonna put him in a kennel. I think we were gonna like There's like some woman that my brother knows of that has like this Like she does that but like in a very Like a better way I'm not good at explaining

She's like a dog. I couldn't do Christopher Columbus if you think I can explain this you're fucking mistaken Like is she scary at first but then turns out to be good like the pigeon woman from Home Alone 2 maybe I mean, honestly She sounds like a witch. Yeah, that's what I'm saying like her name. I don't know her name I really don't want to blow her spot up either, but she sounds like a witch. Yeah, I'm sure she's very nice to the dogs Yeah, she probably likes dogs more than peeps. They sleep a lot people by the way No, no, no or or the candy. I Hate peeps. Yeah peeps are trash. My mom eats peeps stale on

Perp That's silly. She leaves them out so they get stale. They are better stale though. They're not good ever yet No, that's what I'm saying. They're better stale though. I agree with her on that. Also. That's not sugar. What is it? Yeah, I don't know and also What kind of Psyche Makes a candy that is a bunch of kids eating the heads off of chickens. Yeah Yeah, someone better do something about this. Just eat eggs

How many children do you think picked up real baby chicks and try to bite them some of them for sure if it's happened And there's no lawsuits against all peep. No, probably not. No some probably some uh, I'm about to do it judicial Judicial judicial tape that didn't get there. Yeah, sorry. This is this will do you know if no one Now if no one did it, I'll pick up a chick and bite its head Just to get my lawsuit peep. Yeah, of course Candy we gotta edit this out then if I'm gonna do that. Yeah. Yeah, this can't be premeditated. No, yeah It has to be real they have to be I have to be like because people have gone paid for for crazy or shit Ozzy Osbourne bite the head off a bat once. Yeah, but he thought it was fake. Oh

Because they were supposed to be a fake bat And then he was gonna bite its head off. That's a true story. Oh, that was lore. No, no, no Well, this is what I was told grown up knowing is that it was supposed to be a fake bat and just be like a thing But it ended up being a real bad damn. He didn't know and he just should know But he was probably all h'd up. Yeah, probably remember the Osborn's TV show. I forget about that. That was like a popular show Yo, how did That was a huge show, you know Ozzy Osborn sounds like he's always sitting in one of those massage chairs Fucking these old

Sheldon How the fuck did they film that show that guy looked like he was being pulled to hell? Yeah at all times His hands and his head and he was he couldn't keep anything up It looked like someone's just dragging his body into the floor and he was like This is the guy this is the guy and he is the guy and he's still got it too. Yeah, he's on the post Malone album Love Ozzy Ozzy's a fucking sick freak. I think he's clean now Yeah, but he might have fucking rabies from that bats. Yeah. Yeah, you never get that out of you They got shit out of bat once

Technically technically, I don't know if you swallowed the bat. So he should have Yo bat blood, I mean he definitely ingested some blood ingested some bat some bat blood bat blood Yeah Yo, those rock stars are fucking crazy back. It's just yeah, there was so much weird like Even TV was like Insanely different ten years ago. I Don't really remember that like flavor Flav was like a big show Boy, like none of these girls would fuck flavor. Oh, maybe they would I'll tell you what I wouldn't not my type

Flavor Flav was struggling a little bit dude flavor Flav look like that character on fucking SpongeBob What did he say? What are you selling? They're selling chocolates What what is he selling dude that selling chocolate? He looked like that. Yeah, he did. He was just old as shit And that's where you are a big-ass clock. I mean if that's not a red flag Is that where the new that's where the New York girl came from right? Oh, yeah flavor of love. Was that it? Yeah, that's what flavor of love flavor of love and then she got her own show Yeah, and then that guy chance was on it Okay, but I that's all I know

Wasn't David Otunga one of those who the fuck is that he's like that professional wrestler He's Jennifer Hudson's husband. I don't know. I don't know. I think I think he was I don't know man. All those shows are just and then they had the bachelor Did the bachelor come before after flavor Flav because then if it came after we don't give flavor Flav enough credit I think the bachelor was before I think the bachelor goes back dude People love the bachelor and the bachelor ret. I don't understand why I don't get it And people are like obsessed with them and like they have favorites. I'm like, what are you watching? Yeah, I really think that Vanessa's gonna get a rose. It's like what are you watching? Have you ever watched bachelor reactions?

There's I've watched them. They're like, oh my god. Are you serious? Yeah, I know dudes who love it dudes if you This is how these shows work There's the guy that she should definitely be with who makes it all the way to the end And then there's the fucking asshole that you think is gonna get voted off every week It makes it to like the top three and you're shocked every week that the guys made it through how the fuck did Chad Chadwick just fucking

I think I just swallowed my tongue just now Yeah, but you're right. It's like oh my god Tyler again. How he's such an asshole. She's he's he's not good for her It's cold raiders. It's called ratings you idiot. Yeah polarizing characters He's cheating on her I would I would watch one full season like I feel like research I'm afraid of my like it I'm afraid if you watch enough of something It's like they could brainwash you and then you become one of these bachelor people and now I'm watching it all the time Watch a bachelor in paradise some shit. No, dude. Who's that drunk mess of a girl that was on there for a while

What she won like the Bachelor, I don't know all of them. No, she was like a drunk mess No, she was oh, yeah, I mean There's always one of those too. It's I'm a sucky fucking cocked first night. Yeah, and they stay around forever You know, and I wonder why not that girl those girls stay around guys getting fucking flashed. Yeah, I know You're gonna kick her off the island and give a fucking rose every day if she wants it Oh You remember all the ones sucking me every night here. Do you think I'm gonna kick her off? Listen, you know, it was a good show There was that one show where they told the girls that they get

Do you just fart? No. Oh, I thought you just like caught farted. I almost fucking project No, but uh, there was that show where they told all the girls that the guy was a millionaire And then at the end of the show when it was like I choose you Stacey, then he revealed. I'm not a millionaire and she was like Yeah, he was broke she was tough wasn't it called like millionaire Joe or something like that. Yeah, I think yeah I think I think your name was in the show. Yeah, I think so But it was something like that but it was that's see that's cool Yeah, that's because then there's like it's building up to this point like all this gold dig a bitch has no idea

You know what I'm saying and when she gets there, she's gonna just walk away and you want to see it That's why would you sign up for those shows? All right, let me ask you different question different question Obviously, you sign up because you want to be on TV to be yeah, right? Is anyone actually looking for love on Any of these programs? No because like they'll have like guys when they'll be like, I just can't do it right now

I'll also go on record and say this if you are looking for love on a TV show You should be arrested. Yeah. Yeah because you're psychotic. What the fuck is that sound? I don't know. Was that a Sneezer or a dog barking? I don't know. I think it was John. It was Muay Thai Josh Muay Thai Josh unless he's like Fucking hitting the bag in there And The other one too you ever see that thing call I think it's a newer show

It's called like X island like exiled and you go to an island with your ex and they just bring your ex there And they don't tell you and then what do you do you compete you coexist together like you like do challenges together with your ex Okay Like not only like do I not want to see my ex I don't want to fucking do puzzles with you either you fucking crazy You know what I'm saying I would I but I also think that just like perpetuates this like Everyone hates their ex. Yeah, here's that and I'm like I Think that's the standard that wouldn't happen to me. Yeah, I think the force. What is it? Yeah When someone's like I dare you to call your yeah, I dare you to call your ex. Okay. It's such a force thing

It's like these people like just become not people We got to do sponsors, but I would love talking about these shows because they're insane also Would you go in the real world in your prime? No, I was exed Really? Yeah And you didn't go absolutely not damn dude You should have went because then you could have cheated on camera and then been like oh, I didn't do it It's on the camera. They do that every season. What like guys will have girlfriends, right? Yeah, and they'll hook up with one of their roommates. Okay, and then their girlfriend will come to the show

Uh-huh while the other ones in the other room and they'll act like they didn't cheat and like the show is not gonna come out Five months from now. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that makes no. What are you doing? Yeah? It's like yeah, like a big brother or something. Yeah, their cameras 24-7. Yeah, I'll forget about that. That's Truman show That's psychotic. We made a movie about this years ago about how crazy this is and then we're like, let's do it There's a website that you can go to a big brother and just watch them walk around What I would want I would have went on the real world though. No I'm gonna get into why but anyway, let's get to our sponsors today. We love our sponsors on this show Especially this one our first one for today the stamps calm

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Slash Basement this is a good way to get into cooking. Okay ladies and gents take a deep breath. I need to slow down I keep That guy that would like did like Michael Jackson's bad and like ten seconds Yeah, it's like alright, sorry, I guess that's good. I don't know All right next up we have starting to sweat big-time chance wet It's right there. It's right there. I'll get I'll get I'll get yeah We have stitch fix

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Sponsors for today. I know I flew through that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah It's it's you want to know what it is, you know, you go you go on vacation a little bit forget how to read a little bit sometimes it happens That's not true at all. Yeah, that's fine. I'm just reading now. There's like some some guidelines I'm gonna make sure that yeah, make sure you hit them. No, I just like cuz it's like things to not say it's like, okay, cool We're good. Okay. Um anyway That'll do it Yeah, I did I did go on vacation. I did a little didn't take me to school. I took my family to Disney thought I was family. It's fine Okay, you're right

We'll go somewhere. We are going somewhere. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to Nash. I'm going to Nashville, Nash Vegas Nash Vegas, baby. Yeah, it's gonna be some nice food down there. I'm excited Uh, this is gonna be some cowboy hats I'm gonna wear cowboy boots. Yeah, I'm gonna appropriate my own culture Would that be appropriating cowboy culture culture? If I like work, well, it's it's gonna be Halloween. That's true. Just don't you know Don't paint your face anything. It'll be fine. I'm talking about cowboy culture. I'm not talking about doing blackface

And I'm just saying I think that's the only thing you can get in trouble on Halloween these days. No, no I honestly forgot we're going for Halloween. Yeah, um, but Yeah, that'll be fun. What are you gonna wear in the plane? I'm wearing my Versace robe on the plane Are you kidding me? Yeah with the Versace sunglasses. I have to sit next to you Yeah, you're sitting next to a guy in a great robe. What's the worst thing? I'm gonna pretend. I don't know you. That's fine I love them to be wearing a Versace robe in economy What did that mean

It just like defeats the purpose of It's like like hey, dude, just skip the robe and then you'd be sitting up there. Yeah, how long is the flight? Uh, I don't know like three hours or something. It's not bad. I don't think it's less than that. Honestly It could be it could be less. I think it's definitely not how far was it to florida? Two hours. Yeah, national two hours ten minutes. Maybe an hour and a half new york to Nashville flight time definitely will be a meal on the plane Yeah, two and a half hours. So it's like going to miami So it's probably less than that. It's probably like two hours and ten minutes. That don't make no sense. Why?

You got it you got to take into account the the streams. Yeah, that's true That's true the gulf streams. Yeah, my flight time on the way back from orlando was an hour and 57 minutes Wow It's clutch It was a bumpy ride though got bumpy on there dude. First of all, I will say this right did you get flayed? No, I was all right. I was good. I was more afraid watching uh the football game because I had some money's rolling on it That's a good distraction too while your life's in balance. Yeah But I've experienced really bad turbulence. That's probably like the second worst turbulence I've ever had

But the worst one was double as bad. Was it bad where the people were like, oh No, those are the bad ones. Well, yeah, because the whole plane on the one that I'm talking about No, but people were like, oh, oh Yeah, like people Dude, it was fucked the first time it was bad because it's like I can't do anything about this You know I'm saying no hit the brakes. It doesn't matter But that makes me feel more comfortable that I don't have control over the situation. Oh, I don't I'm a control freak Yeah, that I know but I'm just saying like in terms of like, you know, I have no control if this thing crashes or not

So it's like it's whatever. Well, I also like have heard that uh turbulence has never Been the reason why a plane has crashed. No, it's super normal Yeah, anything that the reason they crash the most are either because of like engine failure Or like the wheel thing doesn't come out or like a bird flies into the yeah some weird freak shit like a missile. Yeah I wonder like how old the planes are I don't fucking know but yo listen

Like are they like cars like can can you have them for like 30 years? Yeah, there's dude. My friend took a plane I think uh to florida And it had a strays Oh, that's an old plane. Yeah, dude. Wow. That's a fucking old plane It's insane. That would creep me out a little bit Also, we just light up a cigarette for no reason people used to smoke mad sigs on planes Yeah, dude used to blow it in a baby's face probably

How you doing? How was the baby? What's his name tyler With you, baby fucking put it right in its fucking soft spot Soft spot putting it out on his bib. Let me use this for a second a squirt Yeah, there you go, baby. There you go spot. There you go Soft spots are so fucking weird I don't know. I I just went with it. I don't know what you're talking about

You never you don't know that babies have a soft spot on their head that for that gets harder over time What Yo, you don't know about this they have a so when baby when babies are born They have to have a soft spot spot You could feel it on your head where your soft spot was if you feel the top of your head and there's like an indentation That's where your soft spot was and what does that mean? It's just for when they come out It's easier for them to come out and also stay in the way in that skull. Yeah a little bit like it can move a little bit Okay, so they have soft spots in their head when they're born and then and then there's I guess their skull

becomes full But uh, I want to know what the scientific term for it is You know, I had no idea that babies had a spot on their head that you could like put your thumb in and kill them Yeah, yeah, baby soft spot In some instances a soft spot on top of your head is baby may seem to be pulsating Yeah, dude a pulsating spot There's no need to worry This movement is quite normal and simply reflects the visible pulsing of blood that corresponds to your baby's heartbeat

So you could feel you you could feel you you could feel your baby's heartbeat through their soft spot in their head Ew one ew that is gross. Yeah get a skull on this kid. I'd put a helmet on them. I just Yeah, look dude babies are fucking weird That's an ugly baby. That's that's an ugly baby. That's a that looks like Danny DeVito That is a disgusting baby. That's an ugly baby. That baby is disgusting. Your baby's uh soft spot is actually two spots called the font fontanels It's probably not that I think I thought that fontanels. Okay one on top I didn't want to say anal with a baby. So that's why I said fontanels. You said it

We're talking about soft holes and you're talking. I know that's why I want to stay away from the anal Well, we're now we're here. We're living in it All right, here we go badger babies came out of your ass. Okay moving that would be crazy If women gave birth out their ass you're probably way less painful because I've taken some big Popes I think women would prefer to have a baby out of their ass I would rather shoot a baby into into a toilet and it's in your stomach too. Like what? That's that's where god messed up It made him come out the vagina if we had to pick one flaw

It's the vagina and not the anus. Shoot it at this ace. First of all the anus expands to astronomical proportions You know what I'm saying that they keep going and going and going. It's like a kaleidoscope. He's yeah Spin it and it's like wow. This is a whole new world of wonder. You know I have shit cannonballs, dude some of the hardest ones of all time. Yeah It's a sometimes it's like a real battle battle and I have to like take a seat afterwards. Yeah, I'm just chill Yeah, you have to like sit a couple plays out. Yeah. Yeah, because of a monster don't sign a sub. Yeah Sit a couple plays out. Yeah

One of the on the top that's of that sweet little head that's in their thing. I didn't say that That's their quote not mine Uh and a second smaller one towards the back That are gaps between the bones and Between the bones of your baby's skull Damn, dude. I didn't fucking know this. Yeah, man. So you have to like stay away from that spot Does it hurt them? Like am I touching their brain or them? Uh, I'm gonna read this to you It's completely natural to be a bit nervous about the soft spot on top of your baby's head. Of course. It's a baby

Yeah, and it has a soft head Especially if you've also noticed that it pulses in time so your baby's heart beat Yo, that shit is crazy or bulges out a bit. You can have a bulky spot Baby with a boner head. I don't want that I don't need that But it won't be long before you'll get used to your baby's soft spot and won't be as worried about protecting it or harming it And in time it will close up immediately. So we're all we're all born with soft spots in our heads So if you feel like a little like space

We're kind of like goes like this. I felt my head before and it's all fucked up I know where mine is mine's right here. I could feel it and then I don't know. I didn't know you can have one in the back though But uh, I'm trying to find out why Do babies have soft spots Dude babies freak me out and you know, honestly traveling. I saw you know what I hate Dude, you ever see a kid who's like You you see the size of him. So you're like that kid's like five years old, but he looks like a grown man Yeah, those are usually weird white babies. Yes. Yeah, and he had glasses on. Yeah, and it was like

And he was dressed like an accountant And I was like this kid's five. He had a collared shirt on yes and like khakis Yeah, I'm like, can we give this kid a fucking disney t-shirt and not make him look like he's here to do the taxes He's fucking he's reading my financial report. Yeah, I see him and I'm like, why is this child look so old and young He just wanted to have an adult voice. This is ridiculous Yeah, I just want him to be one or the other like if he's gonna be an old thing be old But don't be five years old and old, you know, I'm never gonna dress my kid like an old man That was a great no

Oh That's what happens when you spend four or five days at disney you started singing everything Yeah, this motherfuckers love to sing out there. So uh, yeah, I don't know why this you have a soft spot But uh, I wanted to ask yeah first bat off the I have I have five disney questions Okay, cool. All right first one. Did you cry? No, I did not pussy I did not we didn't see the firework show That was the I thought that was the whole thing No, because we ended up splitting days differently. So what happened? How did that? How did that get axed?

because disney Is a bunch of fucking bloodsucking freaks love the place love the place love the place But come on the show disney come on the show walt It wasn't like a he didn't like racist or something. Yeah, you like hated jews. Oh, he was like an anti-semite Yeah, he's anti-semite and he's frozen somewhere. So I don't frozen head on the show the term anti-semite always reminds me of like termites So I just picture insects You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, it is kind of like anti-semite. It's like they what is that? Oh, you got termites. We'll get rid of them I got some anti-semite in my car right now It sounds like like a raid, you know what I'm saying like You got termites. I got anti. I got a whole can at anti-semite. You see that those are eggs You're gonna need to put some anti-semite up there Might to bring it might to bring a Charlie how much anti-semite do we have we got a full can in there got his hand on his belt. He's like You know, it's you know, I could do it

I just got I got to go back to my truck and then uh, I'll go get the can I'll go get the anti-semite We'll get rid of all this see I could do it, but I'm gonna have to charge for the anti-semitation Yeah, it's gonna take a little bit of while we're gonna have to we're gonna have to fumigate as well We're gonna have to you're gonna have to close off the bedroom. That's what we're gonna need to do spray the whole thing down anti-semite Oh my god, that's many one of my favorite jokes Depends how many are hiding in the walls, but we might have to you know, if we hear them we'll anti-semitize them. All right hear that Nothing's gonna fix that except anti-semite

Oh It's true Doesn't sound like a bad word It just sounds like it, you know, it sounds like a whole like a whole fucking improvement It's like something like like Billy Mays to try to sell you like four in the morning Yeah, look this anti-semite holds termites out of this whole box of water Remember he would always put shit on shit He's like look spray with an anti-semite. Look how strong it is

those commercials were so ridiculous with like Those commercials with Billy Mays were always like crazy because it'd be like look You see and he had like a little piece of carpet that would be like dirty as fuck and you just dip it in It'd be like it's good and the next thing they just take it like ramp it up to a thousand It's like look we got a dirty boat Just dip a whole boat into it. Look see clean boat. Look at this bathtub It works now. I'm like, dude, don't wait. Oh my god the slap the flex seal the flex thing was amazing It's like you see this whole

Done. You had mighty putty. Remember mighty putty was like, oh, you have a broken chain here Now works. Yeah, I just you know, it's insane What the fuck are you talking about piss me off about that too those special offers They're always special offers It's not cool right now because the same commercial comes on two hours later and it's back again. Yeah fake Three easy payments in 1995. What if I wonder what could be hard? Tough payment. You can give me two payments in 999 or maybe a hard payment of 1995. That's a tough payment

Give me two easy one odd. Yeah, you know anti-semite. We're talking about It's not cheap stuff Um, so anyway You were at the the anti-semite. Well, doesn't he? Um, no, I was at his park and um No, so in in october they have uh, like halloween things shit and to my knowledge

I believe At other times of the year if you just get the park hopper you can stay at any park all day But with this the fuck is a party hopper park hopper like you can go to different parks in one day How many parks are there? There's uh, four Okay, there's hollywood studios. Did you go to that one? Yes, okay. We went to all of them. Okay. Um, I think Yeah, yeah, so there's a magic kingdom hollywood studios uh

Animal kingdom and then magic kingdom. Epcot. What's the magic kingdom? That's the one with the castle That's the one with the castle. Did you go to the castle? Yes You take a picture in the castle and I did not go in the castle. Can you go up it? I don't know I never I always saw that as like a like a Like a hollow castle. It's not a real castle. No, I think it's I think it's real I don't know. I don't know though But anyway, so we couldn't go to that because you needed to get the park hopper and then also buy a ticket To like their halloween show because they shut down

At like six o'clock and then they redecorate and make it like halloweeny Dude, that job's got a fucking sock. They actually do a great job. Yeah, they're amazing at it But like just being like all right six o'clock. Let's turn this into a fucking scary wonderland Yeah, dude, they they've thought of like everything at those places like literally like everything So was it disney land or disney world? It's disney world disney world disney lands in california. Okay. I promise. I'll remember that from now on Probably won't it doesn't matter second question favorite

park or favorite part of the favorite park uh universal, okay, but Universal was the best day. It's not technically not part of disney But it's it's like usually part of everyone's experience. It's like a different thing So you have to buy different tickets. Oh, so they're like the motherfuckers across the street. Basically, right? But it's always like part of everyone's thing But universal is fire because it just has like all the rides And like harry potter world was there which is like dude

You get on the train and it's fire. So like you get on the train, right? You get to uh platform nine and three quarters. Do you go through it? No, no, so it's actually it's actually to do this thing, right? So we were waiting in line to go on this train. You could just walk to the other park because it's right next door Yeah, um because it takes you to island of adventures, which is the one there's whatever but um people in front of us were from london And they were like brav No People are ripping our accents part. Yeah, I know um no, but the people in front of us online were from london

And I forget the name of the the train station that they call it They don't call it platform nine and three quarters like until you get upstairs um It was called like king's something or whatever, right? Okay, and he's like it actually looks like this So they like recreated it and then when you get upstairs There's like this little walkway you need to walk through and like on one side because you have to walk Like through here and then around this pillar and then through this like whatever. Yeah, they have this like Uh glass thing that makes it look like the people who are walking ahead of you are walking through a wall

That's cool. Yeah, so like there's that I'm surprised. They haven't figured out how to walk through a wall yet Tough thing tough thing to do, but they'll do it. Yeah if anyone could do it, disney You'll do it, but like the train the train pulls up and it's got like Are there actors on there? No, but what there is is like you get on the train and you sit in one of those You remember in the movie where they would sit in that thing. There's like the door shuts. Yeah, whatever the window Is uh a screen a screen. So it's like a movie. That's cool. So like there's like, uh, who the fuck are those guys now?

It's losing me. I'm a horrible harry potter fan and I consider myself a fan Because you know the dudes the black dudes with the smoke and like what is it called? Fuck man, the dementors the dementors They come down suck the soul out of you. Yeah, you said black guys that smoke cigarettes. I don't know No, it was the guy that's out of my deli. They're like they're like they're like Black smoky dudes. Oh man, man, that's the engine guys. The coal man more on they're like They're like, uh, fuck They're like hooded monsters to mentors. I think so. Yeah, that might be lord of the rings though

No, the mentors is harry potter 100. Okay, then it was that but like they're flying around and it looks like the train's moving And you see like the car that like crashes into Shit like it was really cool And then uh, you get to harry potter world and it's literally they made a whole city Like harry potter. Okay. Do you get to go to harry potter's house? No Do you see harry potter at all? I did not see harry potter. No, you see I had some butter beer, which was fire Was it buttery? It was not beer It wasn't alcoholic. No, it was like, uh, some fucking, uh, white shit like a

Marshmallowy was it good. It was good. And then it was like kind of it tasted like kind of like a mix between root and cream beer That's yummy like root beer and cream. That's nice. Yeah, it was nice. All right. So did you see like, you know, ron weasley? I didn't see it. How do you see any of the characters? Hermines. Hermine's Grange. No, I didn't see anybody, man Damn those bitches are fucking busy working. I guess it was out there Crazy, man. All right, so universal then what else did universal have? There was just mad ride. We went on mad rides there like we did uh Like the mummy ride the jimmy fowl ride was like a motion Like simulation ride or whatever and it was way fucking better than I thought it was good

Do you have to like listen to his laugh the whole time? No, it's like he takes you through new york So it's like you're sitting in a chair and the whole fucking thing moves right and like dips down and like they have Water that sprays at you or like wind or like whatever water you getting sprayed in new york He's usually like a homeless person. No because dude, it's insane No, because like he's it starts with him like in a car and he like drives through the streets So you're like like whipping like through the streets, you know and then uh, he says like like the cars start like Flying so we're flying and you fly to uh the Statue of Liberty. That's cool. You feel like you've never been there

I have no now you have and then when you get over that he like dives into the water So it's like the thing that goes like this and then you hit the water and you start feeling like water That's cool. That's cool. It was fire dude. It was dope. All right, so universal was like it was cool. Yeah What would you rank then the four parks that you went to? Universal is the best It depends it depends they're all good I don't i'm not crazy about magic kingdom to be honest. I think that one's the most geared towards children So it was trash. I didn't think I don't think it was trash

We didn't spend a lot of time there to be honest with you. It wasn't fun. It wasn't fun for adulties. No, it We just wanted to go to another park and didn't want to stay out super late. So we didn't but uh I think it's the most geared towards children. Okay, or like animal king, but I liked animal kingdom Animal kingdom you do we went on the safari? We saw mad animals fucking giraffe was like How tall was it a real giraffe dude? This giraffe was tall as shit. Did you get to feed anything? No, I didn't feed anything But yeah, we the giraffes were tall as shit and I'm There was mad rhino and a rhino was right here

Could you have touched that rhino? If I like jumped out with the the safari trucks are high. Yeah, they don't want to think they can't have you Dude and cheetahs are just around that's cool Not cool because I was like, what if this cheetah is having a bad day and just sprints towards here and jumps Did you see the signs for the alligators that I told you about? No, but I did see alligators. They eat people there. They eat a baby. Yeah, they eat people everywhere. Yeah I'm happy you guys made it back in one piece. Yeah, so magic. So it went universal animal kingdom

Maybe taking that number two spot. Well, we went to Epcot and just like a lounge. All right, so we'll put Epcot at two Epcot was fun animal magic Yeah, and magic and animal are interchangeable. Maybe Well, no, we had a lot of fun animal. So what was Epcot like? Did they serve beer at all these things? Yeah, so that's good. Yeah, like even on the line like an animal kingdom when you're waiting to go onto the safari at a random point they have just like a person with

Like a like a cooler that's hot fire and they and like a it's like a little stand and they buy beers and shit sick Yeah, it was really cool. Did you see any fights? Fights. Yeah. No, no fights. No no parent fighting. No no parent fighting. No So you didn't cry you didn't see any fights. We got your top five. We got your favorite And the last one was do you think that It was a nice family bonding experience. Yeah, I mean, I don't think it was like a bonding experience But it was something that you guys got to do. It was a cool experience that we all got to do Yeah, it was it was a lot of fun. I would go back and like for sure because like there's no way

That you go to disney and you're able to do everything you want, right? Because like there's a bunch of rides like we didn't have like fast pass and shit Because I just like how much is fast pass. It's like $80 a day But doesn't everybody have fast pass and then you're just waiting online at fast pass But not really like they they limit it because fast pass like you get to book The time that you want to go on the thing So it's like they only reserve a certain amount for that time. Okay, so it doesn't really be like oh Everyone's just on the same and did you need fast pass to like book the firework thing?

No, you could just book it separately. You just have to buy a ticket. That's annoying kind of Because so you could walk around that park all day They get out at six and then you have to pay to get back in. Yeah to see fireworks I wouldn't have done that either. Fuck you. Well disney you anti-semite You frozen head bitch. It was cool though, man that that place is awesome They do a really good job of like You know even with the lines and like

Whatever and i'm sure like with fast pass it would have been even crazier. So how much is like a single ticket? Like a hundred fifteen bucks and that and that allows you to the hopper one park. No, whoa How much is the hopper pass? It's an extra sixty dollars. Damn dude. They're making a fucking Killing down there. Yeah, but yo, you know, I'll be honest with you. I mean, obviously that's a lot of money, but I would pack It wasn't that bad. That's good. It wasn't that bad, but I'll be honest with you like It would be one thing if you had to pay a hundred seventy dollars Right. Yeah. So by the way

It's really with the park hopper Like three hundred and fifteen dollars for two days It's not horrible. No, i'm just saying but like the only thing is with that, right? It would be one thing if you paid that amount and then you went and you're like, oh, this is it It is so elaborate, right and fucking like Incredible it's worth it. You can go just walk around and be like wow. This is fucking crazy Like every detail like they really like get after it Like did they had like is like i'm picturing is like did they have like games like carnival games that you could play

They did like all that and there's just random shows that are going on in the street So it's like Shakespeare in the park kind of like people acting out scenes. Yeah, and there's pub like there's pubs Yeah, like they have they had they do little sections like in universal like you walk by and it's like new york san francisco and like whatever in the New york one there was like Uh people playing drums that are like, you know, the people that play i saw this i got a little bit worried I said that's that's the new york people. That's the new york. I know no, but like you know, the guy just beating his dick You know the dudes that play drums on like buckets. Yeah, so they have a show that they did with people like that Um, were they good? Obviously. Yeah, they were filthy. Yeah, and then there's uh, you know, there were some pubs

And shit that you can go to like we had a lunch there all the food also was mad good But was it expensive like was it like movie theater like expensive trip Too expensive trip. So like how much was like a burger? No, it wasn't anything like a 40 dollar burger. It was just like any movie theory. No, it was it's probably like Manhattan prices Yeah, you know expensive for the earth not really for us in that sense We're used to spending that much on cheese burger But it's not bad because at Epcot we we got like flights of beer and shit and those were like nine dollars Is that the one that's like this?

No, no, no, they're like the Three three different. Oh the sampler. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What are those things called? What like the long ass tubes they they send you to your table? I've gotten those like at vegas Yeah, I've only got just like a beer tower or something. Yeah, something like those things are cool though Yeah, that's like it. Awesome. Yeah, it's cool. Put your mouth on it. Let's suck it down um, do you see like um Oh, did you see the beast No, man, I didn't really see there wasn't a whole lot of characters because now I think they monetize that

Really they make you pay to see that bitch. I think damn dude or like you wait in line Wasn't you guys talking about beauty and the beast such a weird concept? Were we having that conversation? We were We're just like, oh man, like she fucks uh, Whatever that dog a dog man. Yeah, like a like a like a beat like this is bestiality Yeah, this guy has a red crayon beastiality and the beast Like he I wonder if his dick turns to dog dick. That's just disgusting and red And wet and wet and gookie Full of veins, but it becomes a handsome man if I'm not mistaken. Yeah, he does but doesn't he get killed on the roof

I don't know. I haven't seen it in a while Tears is old as time. Well, who's the guy in the red shirt? That's a dick True is it can be Gaston Gaston was that or Gaston? Yeah. Yeah He's just trying to smash and he's like y'all kill your dog Fuck me first. Yeah, I'll kill your dog. She's like, that's my bae Yeah He wasn't cool with that

We can all learn something from beauty and the beast. Yeah Everybody. Yeah, so can Christopher Columbus too. I wish that he saw beauty in the beast before he came here Yeah, that's psycho. He would have knew but was it all All expensive. Oh one thing I wanted to talk about at Hollywood studios, right, which is in universal No, that is at disney park, um So at at Hollywood studios, there's they have two it's not like the best Place, but they have two like lands that they made One is the new one. It's a star wars one the galaxy's edge. It's called. That's cool

It was fucking incredible. Yeah, and I'm like a big star wars fan You know like when I was younger like I loved star wars like and I was floored I was like this is fucking incredible because like you walk into the park and it's like any old theme park You're walking in and there's a bunch of shit around whatever But then you start walking and like because we went straight to the millennium falcon ride that they had so we went straight there and uh Once you like enter the star wars part like galaxy's edge

You're just fully immersed in it. That's everyone who's there is dressed like whatever There's kylo ren and fucking stormtroopers walking around and they're talking shit to children Imperial marches playing No, but but they make it sound like a city dude You walk by like you know even in in animal kingdom and animal kingdom there's speakers in the whatever So it sounds like the jungle and like things are moving. That's cool. And in the star wars Place they had their speakers everywhere. You would think there was spaceships Flying by you. That's cool. So I was like looking up. Yeah

So did you have to pay more to get in there? No. Oh, so it's just part of the theme part So you just walk right into that part. Yeah. Is there any like 3d effects and shit like that? Like when you're in the ride Yeah, like when you got on the millennium falcon. Oh, so they have a they have a millennium falcon like that looks like it's fucking The millennial scale. Yeah, it's huge And uh, it like shoots like um co2 out like Yeah, it's sick. That's cool. Um and uh The ride though

Obviously is not in that like that's just like a thing that they made not gonna take you to space. No Not gonna travel at the speed of light, but uh they they put you in this pod And if you remember from star wars what it looked like how it's like white padded Yeah, and then like the floor was like gate or whatever It's like that and then the door opens up just like the ones in the thing like Yeah, you know and there's a person standing there and they tell you like this is what you gotta do

and we had a group of six at that time and That's how many people like drive the falcon because it's like a video game. Oh, cool So there's two pilots one controls left and right. Yeah the other one controls up and down then there's two gunners Damn, what were you? I was a pilot. Yeah, I had to drive the falcon You know, I wasn't letting that go and then what was the squad? It was what do you mean? Like there's there's pilots gunners and engineers. So we so I was the up and down Okay, so I was But it's it's cool because like you could drive into things and you got to shoot these things and like whatever

And like it's like moving the whole time. Yeah, you know, it's like being on a plane with turbulence That's cool. It was fire though. It was really cool. Just because of like the Like like I said, you're just fully immersed in it and like to the point where dude they built mountains Like high as fuck To like it's insane And then when you drive and we noticed that we were on like the highway like going to the airport or like leaving they even build things that are like

50 yards past the theme park on poles with like mountains that it looks ridiculous from behind But they do that because of like depth Perception. Yeah, so when you're looking at it, it looks like this thing goes back far So it was like the closest to westworld that you've ever gotten problem. It was insane. Yes. It was it was cool Do you see Darth Vader? Yeah They do a show with like with Darth Vader and and and kids and they're all jet eyes and they have to like use the forest and Yeah, dude, that's dope. I'm saying moving people

Yeah, it was sick. Darth Vader could probably beat any superhero, right? Why? Like he could kill Superman. No shot. Dude, the forest easily I'm just No, it's got the eyes dog. He would just catch it He can't catch lasers. Yeah, he can. He could just choke you Yeah, you do that to Superman. I think Darth Vader could beat up Superman. I think you're losing it. No I think dude the force is way more powerful. Luke can do it

Superman could do it No, I think Darth got him No No, no way imagine being able to do that though That guy was there too. Oh, was he? Yeah, I forget the name of the ship because I'm such a Asshole, but the you know the one that looks like a like this. Mm-hmm like the bad tie fighter Is that what it is? Uh, he was like there was like a one that was again like to scale there And there was an x an x-wing to scale to yeah

And he was like walking around back and forth talking shit to kids. I thought that was hilarious Like the dark side is like they're not nice to people. Yeah, they're dicks. Yeah, like divino went ha ha ha loser human divino went and uh Someone he was with went to go throw a high five to them and they just went No and kept So they're dicks anybody like nerd out where they're like some serious adult nerds there Was there anybody you thought that was there by themselves? No, there was no one there how I thought they were by themselves

There was no real like nerding out. I will say I did say this out loud to my family, but I was saying like it felt like um Comic con in a way where everyone was just fully bought in because everyone's got a disney shirt on Yeah, you have to like I mean not everyone but like a good majority of people have like Some sort of disney like merch on them you put those ears on I did not have ears. Good. Good. I bought it. I bought two hats But two hats are good though. Yeah hats you'll wear ears. You're never gonna wear them again What do you mean like the the mickey mouse ears? Oh, yeah, no, I didn't I didn't do that. No, I was thinking about buying the hat

Did you see him? Never oh, yes. I did. Yes. I did. Oh there was like a show going on in front of the The castle. Did you see any famous people? No I feel like famous people go to disney though I Maybe like an underground

They have to have tunnels and shit because they would get killed there. There's tons of people You know what I mean? So how many how many hours are you doing at disney like eight 10 12? We would usually Leave the parks around 6 30. What time did you get there? Probably like nine. That's a long day. Yeah, it's a long day. It is and uh My brother had a watch so we walked like

I don't know how many steps, but it was usually like seven to eight miles a day. Damn son Yeah, but walking's not bad, but standing sucks. That's the thing that sucks. It's standing for seven or eight hours Yeah, my mom was a gangster though. She came on like some Big rides with us. Yeah, she's she's not a ride person, huh? Well, I mean she I mean she wouldn't go on like a roller coaster with us Like yo, the mummy returns roller coaster was sick. Yeah, but I could understand my mom not wanting to go on that one It's in the fucking dark too. Yeah, I'm good on that. Yeah, it was fucking it was awesome Uh, because it it brings you to this wall and like you slam on the brakes. Yeah, and then

There's a screen and it shows like beetles coming out of this hole And then you're assuming like I did at the moment. I'm like, oh, this thing's gonna go up and we're gonna drop But instead you just shoot backwards Ah, and it brings you down and then to some other like there was moving tracks backward scare I would get sick. I think going backwards. It wasn't for long but It was okay. Is it is were there any ones that shoot you out of full speed? Or they were like the slow ones gradual. I like gradual. I don't like the speed from the jump

There was a surprising drop on the pirates of the Caribbean ride. I'm surprised the mummy still has a ride I haven't heard from them in a while. It's a good ride. Yeah Fast and furious ride never go on it. Was it bad? It's terrible It was a motion simulation like ride. Did you feel like family after? No, but he did say that about a thousand times dude. I'm not even kidding. He said, yo, they do that They do that they put you in these rooms and that and that yo, that was one of the most elaborate Lines I've ever been on in my entire life. Like not that it was a family now Not that it was long, but it was like like a 20 minute wait, but

There's a garage with cars that have neon lights And then they bring you into this room and there's a girl on a stage That and it all looks like he's like, this is the family room That's what that's what dom calls it like they're all in character or whatever There's a video that plays with with fucking Vin Diesel being like the FBI's coming The get the family on the buses or whatever the fuck Yo, that ride is so fucking bad. Never go on it. Anyone who's thinking about going to disney Never go on the fast and furious ride. It is godawful. So jimmy found ride was fire mummy ride fire

Oh, yeah, well your top five rides those the Jurassic park water ride was ridiculous. That was awesome, too Okay, because you know that and my mom came on that one bro. We're standing outside because um Couple people didn't want to go on a ride. They wanted to walk around because we had just gotten to like this part of universal I don't remember which one we're at But we were standing outside the Jurassic park ride and I'm kind of like, you know, I want to go on this one And it was a 50 minute wait. It said really so they were so that so some people didn't want to go

So we were like, all right Like we'll go and you guys just go walk around. We'll meet you in whatever We get on the line We waited maybe like 14 minutes. Really got right to the front And then they put us in the front row of the thing. That was another thing. We kept getting lucky with front rows Would you grease them or something? No, like we would just get up there and be like like with the mummy ride They were like up right here. I'm like, is this the first row? He's like, yeah, I'm like fucking going man Yeah, first row's clutch and it was first row on that so it brings you through like Jurassic park

And there's that big ass dinosaur with the long ass neck that's like eating branches over you brontosaurus Yeah, and then they come out of the water and they're like blowing fucking Missed that yet through their nose. Did you get the Jurassic park music? Oh, yeah Yeah, and then that's fire. There was a big Drop on that. Yeah. Yeah, bigger than I thought it was gonna be Because it brings you up for a while my mom started being like, oh my god, and I was like and even me. I'm looking up. I'm like And then if there's like a small drop and then there's a big one and then we got soaked That's cool though. Yeah, and then when we left that we went to go find them because they were just walking around

um, and then we walked by uh, Dudley do right Do you know how that is? Yeah, it was like an old ass cartoon, but he but there was a ride there It was like a water ride. Yeah, and these people are just coming down this thing like Like to as far as I was like, yeah, we gotta do that. Yeah, uh, so we went on that ride and just got Absolid Drashed there's that bad Head to toe

It was like I jumped in a pool. How did they expect people to stay at the park and wet like that soaked soaked and it wasn't so It brings you up immediately. We knew there was a big drop Yeah, it brings you up immediately and I was like, yo because we wait that was the longest we waited How long was that that was probably like an hour 15 and it didn't even say that it said like 45 minutes But we were like, yeah, we kind of deserve us. We're getting on that ride right before for like 13 minutes. Yeah, um, but We get on that ride and it goes straight up. So we were worried that it was like gonna go just straight down immediately

Uh But it goes down There's a drop and we're like, oh, that's not the drop but we hit the water Right and we're like, okay cool and everything's fine. And then the wave Goes off the walls And comes back at you. It's gonna harsh dumps right into the thing. So I'm like, I'm soaked And we're all soaked, right? And then there's like two other ones like that and now we're drenched and then you go down the big one and in bed time

Like are you are you like laughing or like, all right, this is enough water. No, no, I was laughing I was having a good time. I mean still Orlando. It's hot as shit. That's what I'm saying. You dry off probably Yeah, yeah, yeah, we we went to dinner afterwards. I like a restaurant I was cold though. Those bitches had the a c of high. You know, it's weird Like europe doesn't have air conditioning excuse Like europe doesn't have air say they don't use a c. What do they use just fans? Yeah I Be honest with you, that's not gonna be good. No, no, no, that sounded like it smelled bad speaking of fans. We're gonna need one in here

That sounded like a whole bunch of marbles. Yeah clanging together Yeah, I mean that's tanks. Yeah, it does. It does as the ac is gonna bring it over to me, but I'm surprised Don't look for it. Don't look for it. I don't want to look for it. It'll find you. Yeah, it'll It'll find you. Oh my god. I'm gonna be bad found you Holy fuck. Yeah, man. Yeah, dude. I suppose like you shit your pants. Listen. I've been eating like Mickey mouse Fucking chocolate shaped pretzels. God damn son. That should have fucking disgusting weird beers I had a bunch of I drank around the world. I had some german stuff some norwegian stuff

That far sounded like you ripped apart like your ass though. It was like like it sounded like you opened an old enchanted door That's what is that an old enchanted door The initial one wasn't bad. I was like, oh cute and then I was like, whoa Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, this guy's ripping ass. It was a precursor for sure Are you good? Yeah, it's just Stinks pungy. I mean, yeah, it is I apologize from my father. God damn. So uh Fun trip fun trip. Yeah, were you all disneyed out by the end? God damn it

Was I all disneyed out? No, like could you have stayed a couple extra days? No, I was tired. I was really beat, but I I would go I can see why people go twice a year That's insane Because I mean if you have the money for it, but I can see why people do that because it's a lot of fun And there's a lot to do and you can't do all of it in one shot. So At least in the time that we went like would you go again next year? Yeah, I would I mean, I'm not gonna

Not gonna take my whole family with me That was uh Good for you though. That's a nice. That's a nice family experience. Yeah, it was cool Take a lot of photos have fun Place you were staying. It was awesome. Yeah, the place was unbelievable. I had a projector screen every night We watched like sports watch the Yankees or we watched the Giants game. I want a projector screen I have a projector Do you? Yeah, I'll take it. No, I'm keeping it

I have a projector, but I was um now I told my mom I'm like let's in the basement because we just redid the basement and there's no TV down there Yeah, I was like, let's set it up put it on the wall. It's nice. Yeah Good for you. Good for you. I'll be honest with you. We need to wrap this up. You have to take a shit I gotta shit so good. That's fine. So good Lee. Yeah, so good Lee. We're good though. We're an hour and a half in All right, that's what I'm saying. Remember when the show used to be an hour? Yeah And all that out of the water everything's usually like almost two hours now

I know but I I know what it's like to have to shit your pants because I've shit my pants Uh, yeah, so you could find me at Daniel a priori on twitter and instagram Go check out the stank podcast youtube.com slash the stank podcast and then uh on instagram and twitter at the stank pod Caged Yes, I thought I thought you were gonna say something. No, um, but yeah, that is that is all for this week's episode Thanks to all the patrons. I thanks to all our patrons patreon.com slash the base vignard. Uh, I'm gonna explode at any Any moment? Yeah, don't worry. I'll figure this all out and uh

Um, go check out other people's lives other podcasts on santa gato studios, um where we interview people anonymously every single week. It's always super interesting We just interviewed a sex addict one of my favorite episodes that guy Has fucked everything. Do you see any? I know you have to shit just one question about that show. Do you see any coincidences between me and that guy? No, um Well, no, that's a good thing. Yeah. Yeah, um, but yeah guys. Thank you so much for the patrons patreon.com slash the base vignard Uh, thank you. Go check out other people's lives and go follow the show at the basement yard on instagram And then we'll see you next time