The Basement Yard - #215 - What Would You Do?

Episode Date: November 11, 2019

On this episode, a kid smacks Danny's dog, Danny has a lumpy bump on his butt, and Joe is here too. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh Welcome back to the basement Try some new I like that a lot that kind of sounded like that old what was that thing that like Guys, yeah, they were like announced horse races and they'd be like oh he's coming down the stretch Not a not a didgeridoo Yes, whatever the hell that is I don't know why people thought that was cool. Don't hurt yourself spinning dirt swirly dervish You just say spinning dirt. It's not no no the swirly dervish. I think it's called. I don't know

What's the thing that remember it would rotate and be on like? Yeah, yeah, there was a bunch of those. I don't know what it was called But I remember doing this yo back in the day people had dumb toys terrible remember like a top. Yeah It's like this is a giant cradle ball in a cup. It's cool though ball in a cup Yeah, what is that? It's like when you got a ton of string. Oh, yeah, those came back You gotta like do that. Yeah, I mean, I'm I'm good on that. I'm not cool with that It was cool like when you were a kid yo-yos were sick Yeah, but I hated those little like there was always something like little kid like

That was just he was always like the poorest kid in your school, but he was amazing at yo-yo-ing That's not how it went down over here. Really you guys are all good. I just remember the poor kid was always just like It's like you want to see me fucking rock the fucking cradle Yeah, dude, I see me rock the baby to sleep. Oh my god. This kid's poor but he's killing it So you can walk the dogs like so Yeah, I just walk it dude. I used to crush my yo-yo used to do the thing where yo-yo's make no fucking sense by the way Yeah, I could I could make the triangle and it was just sway back and forth Those are those were cool. It was like swinging a tape measure. I fucked myself up with yo-yos. Oh dude

I've almost broken my nostril. Oh, yeah, I've clipped myself plenty of times. Yeah, you're dangerous. Remember the fireball was light up Yeah, I made my mom spend like $23 back in like 2001 on a yo-yo that like lit up and like made sounds. Yeah. Yeah, this bitch was mad at me, dude I remember just like yo you better win some nationals with this shit and there was ways like where people could like Tie like tie the string a certain way So like it would be like regulation to go like around the world and shit like oh remember around the world around Yo be careful though cuz Don't be around me when I'm when I'm going around the world

Not at all. I'll kill somebody with this yo-yo the best was fat when used to flap it out and it would just spin on the bottom Yeah, yeah, it's like damn. Yo, he's sleeping it and then he just be like And then it would come right back up Yeah, damn. Yo-yo's are tight. I might I kind of want to get one. I think yo-yoing is still a thing Nothing felt better than nailing the sleep Oh, and he would just sit there literally while you're having a conversation and then just fucking grab it and fucking Throw a fucking gang sign up with it. Yeah, dude They were like competition. I feel like they're still our competitions and they crazy. Yeah, dude

They do them like nunchucks like they go around their body and they're like That's like it's insane. I get I Get excited about shit like that. What yo-yo's like, you know how like listen we all watch sports, right? But like seeing weird sports gets me very excited Like seeing like a yo-yo national championship would get me hype as fuck dude 2015. This is first place This is this is his I guess is I Think damn, you know this guy's doing some other shit. He's wearing a glove too. That's how you know, he crushes puss

That's how you know, you're a pro if you wear a glove. It's like billiards. Yeah Oh, this dude's like good looking he probably crushed all if there's like yo-yo groupies. Yeah, for sure because there's probably fellow where oh He doing it. He's always doing it to music. This is tight Yo, he's killing it. Yo, he's fucking this in the ass I am oh, I can't even keep up to what he's what all I know that it's all on beat Did you go through his legs? Dude, he's going everywhere. That's insane. He went through dimensions Yeah, so yo-yo is a thing that kid gets mad bitches

Good for him. Yeah, and did you notice it was on a legitimate stage with a backdrop and a whole crowd? So yo-yo community is being slept on and I don't really appreciate it. I know I was the one who started this whole thing But yeah, remember also the finger decks do fucking Kick him smacking around two things one the skateboard finger deck. Yeah. Yeah. I was obsessed with Trash I never understood it couldn't kick flip couldn't like grind there's there's competitions for that too Oh, yeah, probably like Frankie had a whole setup with like a half pipe and shit. Why don't hey, how about this?

Why don't you try real skateboarding? No, that was that's too hard. That's not that's not happening But yo also kick flip like this is harder than you're doing it with your feet You remember when they had the little bikes? And they were like I don't know if you know this on I don't know like only people like out on Long Island had this shit because My cousin had it. Okay. You know, so Pete's brother. This is a true story by the way Pete's brother smokey Pete Pete's brother had these Bikes they were like this big. Okay, right?

But they Legitimately looked like a like a huffy with like pegs and everything. Mm-hmm And they were just cool So you could like grab them and do like you know how people like golf ramps and they're just like swinging their fucking handlebars and landing Somehow and like goddamn dude So I was playing with this shit and then I was sleeping at my cousin's house at their house for like a day And then the day I was supposed to leave I just threw one of them shit bitches in my bag Oh, you stole it and then I got caught. No

Who caught you? Mike he just knew he knew someone was out of place Shit, he's like, where's this bike and then I played it off. Like, yeah, I don't know how it even got in there dog Damn, buddy, but I didn't get to I didn't get it. You were one of those guys The sticky fingers McGee back in the day. I wasn't I wasn't I really just really like this bike Yeah, I stole a bike from my cousin, man. There's many there's there's many uh very few moments Not many but like when you're like, I have to steal this Oh, I've yeah, and that was one of them. It's usually candy for me. Yeah, I've done that

I almost stole something from the supermarket yesterday and then I was like, I'm an adult Yeah, but I do that sometimes like if if I go to the store, right and I buy like six things and like You're gonna you're gonna throw this gum in you in your pocket. This is this is the thing I do I'm gonna let you know you you have you are a bitchable thief. No, I'm not a bitchable thief It's when I actually when it comes to my mind. I do it if I forget that I just forget. Okay sick freak I'll grab a water. Uh-huh, right. I'll go get my prescriptions I'll do whatever else shopping I have to get and drink the water and I'll drink the water on the

On the route And then you won't pay for the water. No, I will not damn. Yeah, and it's usually an ascent An ascent. Well, that's expensive water. Yeah, that's hipster water. Yeah ascent is hipster water You're stealing that then, you know, that's that's a bank robbery Yeah, but I feel like it's a small price to pay because I'm buying other stuff No, dude, that's like like if CVS was a bank like you went right to the vault And stole that shit. This is true. They don't have a lot of good shit there, but essential water That's the you know, that's the big one. Yeah

But yeah, I'll do a walk around drink the water and then I'll just leave it right in front of their face And I'll pay for everything and be like, I dare you to ask charge me for this water and they don't Wow. Yeah, see it. Well yesterday when I was at the supermarket I I just went to get like a new spatula and like ladle because I just like wanted to get new ones and uh I was walking I knew where they were so I was walking by everything

But then I walked by the fridge and I saw this drink and it was like this Had antioxidants and all this like weird shit in it and it was like georgia peach flavored So it's like, you know, I'll try this. Yeah, so then I'm walk I just grab it and I'm walking And I get to the aisle where all the shit that I need is and the stuff that I need isn't there So I'm like, oh, I'm not about to go wait in line to the supermarket So I'm gonna buy this drink that I'm just like on a whim gonna get I'm gonna go to a different store So a part of me was like, do I just pocket this and just bounce with the georgia peach drink? No, I put it back should have drank it

See and I was thinking about drinking it. Yeah, but then I was I was glad that didn't crack it Because then I would have had to pay for it because what if I didn't like it now I got a full drink I'm walking I made for it already. I used to do that with muscle milks Like when I would come out of the gym I would go to like a cvs Yeah, like crush on muscle milk, but like buy like a protein bar Or something like I would always buy something but crush something at the same time Oh, so you thought that you were canceling it out. Yeah, I was like they could they this one costs more than this

But together they could they both they're $10 that's dirt bag math. Yeah, that's what that is That's actually 100% what it is. That's dirt bag math. Yeah, because I used to do dirt bag math all the time Dude, I would walk in I should do it at least you're getting $8 from me. Yeah, you know, you know many times I go to self checkouts And like if the thing don't scan I'll just throw that shit in my bag Yeah, but they can tell now everything's like weighted. No, not like dude Cvs has some weird setup where the self check out which by the way fuck self check out. Yeah, like it's bullshit It's bullshit. It's garbage and it never works. It never works. There's like two people standing there like it's not beeping Sir, can you help me and then they come over and they're like, oh, I gotta put my key in and like fix this fucking thing

But it's like they have it at the cvs over here Yeah, you have to beep your shit and then put it In your bag that's on this thing that weighs how much it weight like whatever Yeah, so it knows that it was in the bag and it knows that you pay for it But if you put something else there, it's like, oh, you didn't pay for some So something's 2.5 ounces, right and I grabbed something that's 2.5 ounces That's a good way to steal right I could do the cheaper the cheaper thing and then put the more expensive thing in there No, no, no, no, no, it's different. They know the weights of the things

That's what I'm saying. But like say like I want to use Uh, you can't buy a pack of gum and put a shampoo down What what if they weigh the same? Well, what I was gonna say that was a good idea that if you just like tape together like six pens You know what I'm saying? You could go in there. You could get something like, you know, uh, like a a big old Like maybe three packs of orbit. My pens are pretty heavy So then you scan one thing of uh orbit and then you put the pens and then you get the you know what I'm saying? Yeah, that could work. Do you ever do use the little bags? I always had trouble with the little bags

What little bags like the little produce bags Oh, man. Yeah, no, it was a whole thing yesterday when I was picking out broccoli. It's hard to get them Dude bags in the grocery, uh store grocery store in the in the supermarket. I've been ripping this thing out And then here goes josh. He's making his way. He's trying to be quiet Hey Yeah stealing all the time At the gym all the time You have to come over here

Hey at the gym all the time I'll take something out the fridge or someone's out at the desk if someone's out at the desk I'll come by later and be like, hey, I took this but you weren't here Oh Or I'll just leave some money on the camera, but won't tell him what I took Oh So you only steal for six hours Because you feel like you're in the gym all day. Yeah, that's borrowing. That's borrowing. That's not stealing. I'm talking about

We're talking about fucking stealing. We're talking about crimes, dude. We're talking about like being on the run Yeah You're gonna report me when I was 14 stealing the whole packet. Yo one time I stole Like a 30 pack of winter fresh That's good. That's a good score. You know, I mean, yeah Oh, yeah, you take glasses. Yeah, you take I used to take glasses from bars. That's cool. I like this It's a big like My mom steals

Glasses well, she doesn't do it. She did it though. I watched I watched her do it Don't want to tell you. All right, when the when the Giants won the Super Bowl I used to steal all like the Super Bowl champion glasses from bars No, but when I was little I took this like you know how you walk down an aisle and they have like those um Plastic things that are like coupons in the middle of it. No, they have like these these plastic like Things and then they just hang the gum on them But they're like long packs. Yeah with the little hooks on them. Yeah, exactly

Little rafters. There was one of those and I just popped it off and put it on my waistband Why not? Why not? Why not? It was easier to steal back in the day. Now you got all this technology and they're fucking twisted and they're fucking Facebook Once 9-11 happened and got harder to steal. Yeah. Yeah Ruined everything. Yeah. Thanks, obama. Thanks a lot for all the Not the one time I got caught too stealing from like the store. They just made you put it back, right? Uh No, I just pretended like I'm gonna pay for this. Oh, yeah, I've done that before

I had it in in the in the thing of my sweater and I put it in my sweater and I was actually with Frankie and Uh I didn't think anyone saw me and then this woman comes up to me. She goes. What's it? What is that? And I'm like what and I just took it out and she goes you're gonna steal that and I was like I'm not gonna steal I'm gonna pay for it and then Frankie was like, oh Like he would never steal like that's not, you know, but I was fully ready to fucking book it out of there With that free Snickers bar. Do you remember the fucking adrenaline rush you get stealing the smallest currency of things

Oh, dude, I I listen robberies burglaries. I get it Yeah, there's a rush. There's a rush dude. I was addicted and getting away with it too. I used to steal a lot I want to go out and steal right now. I know. I really want to steal. Yeah, I want to steal I want to go into a deli right now and just take gum. Yeah, or like a old pack of baseball cards Oh, yeah, I used to steal. No one's gonna know they're gone. You're not gonna miss them. No I used to love stealing Pokemon cards Um, I also had this weird thing about Pokemon cards that the check if they had a hologram I would pinch my fingers together

Like on the pack to see if there was like if they were cool like they had a cool feeling to them. There was a hologram in there What I don't know Dude for it's the second grade stupid dumb idiot logic But I would hold I would pinch the pack like this and be like it's cooler than this one There's probably a hologram and holographic one in here. So you thought if the cards were hot There was they were just stock cards But if there was something that could hold cold like a little conductor in there They had to be a hologram. So that's what I would do. That is

So dumb, but also genius, but not I guarantee you if I made five decks you'd get most of them wrong Two holograms in that I will say It it wasn't very successful the sex the sex rate this the sex rate was high But the success rate was low, right, you know the success rate wasn't that great Did I ever tell you about the time that I uh I made $50 off this kid Alan. Oh, yeah, because you found his wallet. No, no, no I found a Charizard. Oh, no, I fat his Charizard or something. Oh, yeah. So this is what it was, right?

He was asian He was an asian an asian fella an asian allen and I had Uh a Charizard and he's like, I'll give you $50 for it. Yeah, because he found a $50 bill on the way to school That's what it was. He found money and your mom was like, you can't sell that to him, right? Yeah No, no, no. Yeah, so I sold it. I'm like fully. I was like, yo Charizard I was like, well not fuck Charizard. Love Charizard. Yeah, but no, I'm at 50 bucks though. Yeah, 50 50 beans, baby So I was like, yeah, I was like, I'm cool And then he gives me the 50 dollars and then my mom found the 50 dollars. She's like, where'd you get this?

I was like, oh allen wang like Like She's like, nah She's like, this is she was like, this is his mother's like Money that he uses for lunch like you're not gonna take it from him for some fucking card And I was trying to say like all his dude found it. She's like, nah, you're a lying little bitch And then you were like, yo, bitch like Charizard is pretty limited. Yeah, and I was like, yo mom, I'm a business man. Yeah dog Let me eat

So my mom fucked up my business transaction, you know what I'm saying? I had an entrepreneurial mind I saw I was a visionary. I saw the future with this Charizard. I knew I could get like 50 beans is a good price Yeah, but then she made me give the money back to him and then I didn't get my Charizard back What an asshole ended up with zero who my mom I know Her and wang were in on it together. They probably kept the money and the Charizard. That was she probably planted the 50 that bitch Oh my god. Hold on. Can we stop this? I gotta call my mom I used to love like remember when you had 30 dollars as a kid and it was like A jillion dollars. Yeah, because pizza was like two dollars and now it's like, oh, you want a special?

Yo, it's a specialty slice that has like it's a pepperoni slice 375 Unbelievable how expensive pizza is now insanity a medium pie What would you say back in the day 12 bucks? For medium pie with nothing on it. No personal pies like 14 dollars and they're this big. Yeah garbage Absolute garbage kids don't know these kids don't know about pizza. They don't know about photo hunt in the pizzeria Oh All kinds I used to do porno photo hunt at this bar. What would you find you find titties?

Have you ever been the candlelight before? No, what is it the the wing place? No, I gotta take you there. They got really good fucking wings there. Let's bang some wings. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, uh, why was I just doing this? I don't know for some reason. I always do like Up Like make a four. Yeah, but like finish it off I do a four and then like a triangle So it looks like that for anyone who's just listening Danny's just wiping his hand. Yeah, it's weird table. It's weird I don't know what you're doing. Um

Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I threw you off not not only did you throw me off But you threw me off. Yeah. Yeah, no, but um I I do mad weird shit with my hands that I've like realized Like I'll do this. I'll be like two four six eight ten in my head What? Like I'm always counting if I'm doing this and doing two four six eight ten two four six eight ten I'm rolling my fingers on the one one two three four five. I don't know You're an even guy. Yeah

Two four six eight ten because I'm counting My finger touching this Like the I'm counting the table and my finger. It doesn't make any sense So I'm going two four six eight ten all the time one of those weird things You have any like things like that that you do Weird stuff like like I'm not like the music thing in your car. But like yeah, do you have like any like I guess nervous ticks? I guess maybe I don't know. I would have to I guess if I do have them. I just kind of do them

And I don't really realize you're talking about how frankie always does this Oh, he jiggles his jiggles his wrist his loose ass bracelet We were in there. We were talking about buying my new bracelet I was like, yo, how much money for you to not wear that bracelet. I'll buy you a new one He just jiggles jiggles it up and then jiggles it down. He's like, I do do that don't I'm like do like every five Yeah, like every second you do it So, yo guys, seriously, I really yo, we gotta think about this and I'm like stop jiggling The bracelet. All right. Now. I don't think that's a nervous tick

I think that's just literally because the weight of the bracelet. I think it's because the bracelet's too fucking big I could fit it around my bicep It is huge. It is huge. That's a thing. He's like, yeah, when it gets caught up here Then then I just go like this and it goes down there But uh, how you doing over there by the way me? Yeah, I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm like I'm sitting Like over the mic kind of yeah, that's why I mean you're I could see the posture is just incredible today Yeah, I have to keep it that way. Yeah. Yeah, so uh, you want to you want to oh, okay? I mean, yeah, I'll spread I'll spread the news if you want. Yeah. Um

Danny may or may not have some sort of uh Uh assist assist above his aim. Yes Uh a pilonidal cyst. It's called right. Yes a piece of Piece of just ingrown hair by my butt. Yeah that um, I had in the past as a child Oh, you were a child. No, I was like 17 years old Oh, I thought this happened to you recently. No, no, no, this was over a decade ago. Oh, wow, okay um And it's like an ingrown hair that gets like infected kind of a big

Fuck up of ingrown hair. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's when it reaches its peak Yeah, you know when it reaches its highest. Yeah when it reaches its boiling point, let's say. Yes. Um And i'm afraid that it's coming back. Yeah, and uh, this is like it every 20 every 13 years So, um I needed someone to look at my ass And uh, I was the only one around he was the only one around so so Dr. Joe, did you see anything that was like crazy looking back there? Okay before I get into that Just to paint the picture for everyone. This is an exact. This isn't an exaggeration at all. No, this happened today

Danny came into the office and I'm at my computer and he goes I'm gonna need you to look at my ass And I'm like, okay And he goes I think I might have that thing again, and I'm like, all right So he's like, can you just tell me like whatever and I don't know what the fuck I'm looking for So I I go down there, you know, not that I go down anywhere. Yeah, he just I was actually sitting he was standing Yes, uh, but the cheeks come flying out of these shorts that he's has on right And uh, I'm about I would say four inches from his asshole

I would say four inches. Yeah, you were in there if the man farted My eyelashes would have moved. That's how close I was to his asshole. Okay Um, and I saw a thing You know, and then we I was like I see a thing. There's a bump. There's a bump there. There's a little something, right? So it's not on the Lips of the asshole. It's it's to the upper left of my of my ass. It's the canada of his asshole. Yeah So he stands that he then he like turns around and we're kind of having a conversation about it And then he asks another question and I don't know the answer because now I don't remember

The thing so now he's got to turn around again. Then I get to get a refresher course You know and this time He's spreading So So now I'm four inches from a spread Puerto Rican man's ass Taking pictures with my phone. Yes, we're gonna move my hair

I said move the hair. It's like we're trying to get a shot here. Can you move can try moving your hair a little bit? So I I was looking for flash. I part I parted it a little bit. We got a good shot of it. You know, you got a good shot It was a good shot. Yeah, it was I just really hope that it's not it at all. Yeah I I hope not either because you know, that's a that's a painful thing. I've had a couple friends get that as well Yeah, it's it sucks. So hopefully I'm okay I You know, I'm I'm fucking scared dude I'm really scared like if there's anyone listening that's ever had this thing before the penal 90 they know penal 90

They know how fucking bad this is. Yeah, they know what this is like So I hope it doesn't come back Uh to its full potential because if it comes back to its full potential We're gonna have some straight issues. Yeah, I showed Joe the surgery, which I don't recommend you guys watching Yeah, don't but it looks like It just looks like uh, they filled up a man with Strawberry milk. Yeah, uh

That put they put heavy cream into And then they poke the hole in it and then it's just flooding out of this guy And it's literally like strawberry milk and heavy cream. It's it's the it's the wildest shit. I've ever seen in my life It was it was disgusting But yeah, we watched after being four inches from Danny's anus We then watched other anuses. Yes, I'll get Surgical eyes and new anuses too because they gave that guy a whole new butthole that all that one guy Must have had the biggest cyst ever because they cut a fucking hole in this man. Pcp pipe

Into his fucking ass That guy could shit out of he's got options now That was that was insane. Yeah, but I remember when I got it my first time and they had to drain mine And they gave you like these shots like know what we were asked They shot your butt. They shot my ass. Yeah So they they give you these ones and it hurts so bad because it's so pressurized Wait, what's hurt my ass. Oh, no, I'm saying like the the shots hurt

Yeah, if you if you blew on my ass just went it would hurt. That's how fucking like, you know If you slam your finger in a car door Yes, and you have like that pressure feeling where it's so much pain. Yes, that's what it feels like On your ass Whoa, yeah, so what does it feel like when you poop? Oh, it was it was terrible. It made it worse. Yo, there would be times I was trying to poop. I would almost fucking pass out Yeah, dude, that's yeah, dude. That's how fucking bad it was and then I remember when they took me to the doctor First of all my parents. I love them to death, but they're just like

Idiots no, yeah Yeah And like they would be like, oh, yeah, it'll like go away. It's like this. I'm like, yeah, it's gonna go away But like I'm in physical pain. Yeah, so bad every day That's the point where when I got went to the doctor they were like, dude, you could get like poisoning in your blood and shit Oh, yeah, because if it pops inside, yeah, they were like, dude, you could get like not sepsis They said something else, but I was like, dude, like you could have like some shit. Yeah So I was just like, uh, man, so they were like, luckily, you know, they did blood tests and stuff

They swapped it and like sent it to a lab to make sure like I didn't have like whatever swabbed that blood Yeah, so what they did was they put these little shots on my butt Uh, maybe a bunch of shots. Yeah, they did like a box like pop pop pop pop and they were like, all right. Um Damn, dude, I don't I feel gross telling the story, but it's it's whatever. Hey, man. This is life Yeah, this is life. This is life and I'm sure there's people out there who have had it Yeah, there's people out here would be no nine no six So I'm laying there and it's like, all right, like like they literally let you down They cut a little box out where they're gonna cut your little butt

and uh You know now my butt's numb, but it hurts so much like the needles going in but like now that I'm like You're numb. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now I'm now I'm feeling good. Now I'm feeling okay. And they're like, all right, Danny Like we're gonna do it. You ready? I was like, yo, you have no idea. Yeah I was like, yeah, just do it as soon as she made the incision It felt like I popped the biggest pimple of like that was like taking over the world Like like it imprisoned everyone on planet earth and I popped it and saved everyone I was just like, oh my gosh

Like I almost came from like being relieved relieved. Yeah, and they were like, does that feel good, Danny? I was like, yo, you have no fucking idea But when they're pushing it out, I'm like, yo What's going on in there? This is like a lot. I thought it was bleeding, but it was all like pus and stuff Yeah, and I smelled it Dude when I smelled this I was like, there is no way a human body can produce something that like this that isn't shit I feel like I can smell it right now. Yeah, it smells like think about

Garbage water Yeah, right and there was like hair in it like skin in it like Disgusting disgusting. It was awful. It was awful that old boot and Honestly, this was always something that I said, I wouldn't wish this thing on my worst Worst enemy. Wow. Like if you killed my parents Well, well from before they might have deserved it because they didn't bring me to the hospital, but If you like killed my parents, I wouldn't wish appeal and I'll assist on you

That's how bad it is. I mean, we both have had friends who have had it. Yeah And they and they were they were also being like, you know, it's debilitating. Yo, it's horrendous. They can't move I remember they're like, you know, I can't walk No, dude, I couldn't walk. I couldn't sit in a car I had to lay down in the back seat of the car to get to the doctor Dude, I would just I would have literally like started jabbing myself with a knife in my aim Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, people do that. Sometimes they they pop on their own But mine doesn't look like that right now

Right. No, it looks I mean, I listen. I know what it looks like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like it's very little It's just causing me a little Discomfy and you're having like some flashbacks. Yeah, I'm having like anxious flashbacks Yeah, and then before we get on a fucking plane to Nashville. I want to make sure my asshole is not going to explode That's the only thing Dude, can you imagine that if I got to Nashville and like it reached its full infection? No, I'm talking about when we reached 35,000 feet and then your butt just blew up I I don't even want to think about it. Honestly. No, I think you're fine

Uh, I'd be terrified like it's just weird like to have like a physical ailment that Is just strange Yeah, that's very weird. You know what I'm saying? It's like it'd be different if I like Like nobody really knows about this, but like people do it's one of those weird things like if you had it, you know it Yeah, like when my friend was trying to explain what it was. I'm just like It doesn't make any sense. Yeah, I was like, I don't know what you mean Uh, so I don't really know about it. But you know, we want to we want to bring awareness to fino-nino

Get yourself checked. All right. What's it called? Pelo Nidal cyst Pelo Nidal Yeah, it means the nest of hair In in greek, I believe. Oh, this this is this is a greek thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, or they got hairy assholes. Yeah so That's what that's what i'm kind of dealing with right now. So i'm gonna get it checked out And see if they could just you know, take care of it now instead of like have to go through the whole pain. Yeah, yeah Pain and suffering. Yes, because I think

The older I get I feel like your immune system gets worse I think that's is that right? Yeah, it's well done. I mean depending on how you take care of everybody Right, so it's like but now like I have insurance and like I love going to the doctor Yeah, so like I would have mind getting this taken care of now Yeah, you're like one of those crazy disney people that go like 12 times a year But you're like at the doctor fast passing everything. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like I know like everyone by their first name Hey, Betty back. Yeah. Hey, what's up? Yeah. Good to see you Leon

I'll see you at the convention. I get like emails from like my blood doctors About about just about like blood conventions and which is kind of weird Like blood convention. Yeah, like where you go to donate blood. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's that's really like I don't really like blood Like i'm not one of those people that will pass out if they see blood, but I don't like it So it's just being a room where I know that there's a bunch of blood circulating Yeah, kind of freaks me. I also just don't like I don't like the er that like I like I am so I am a hypochondriac in hospitals because I feel like I every Fucking surface I touch right now is a different disease

But the like the weirdest ailment you ever had was probably when your face blew up, right? Yeah, dude I had a fucking uh Because I got a toothache And then I never told my parents because I hated going to the dentist It just became like an abscess and then it became an abscess and yo my face I have my my sister sent it to me like A couple months ago, but I don't know where it is, but there's a picture of me My face is literally like this. Oh, that's terrifying and I woke up and I was I had a fever

I was super sick because it was all it. Yeah, they drained it It was like filled with like pus through my fucking mouth. By the way, you know my gross shit So I they had to go in and do this thing And then uh, it wasn't like what you said was like just flowing out It was slower. It was slower than that. Yeah, but was that was that as relieving as what happened to me though? No, it wasn't because it was a very slow process So they have to go in and put like a drain, which I don't even know what the fuck but uh, they put this thing In my mouth or gums or whatever and then I literally had to keep spitting out. Oh

Yeah, it was gross, man, but I had a fever. I was almost passing out Yeah, dude, this shit was probably fucking you up and probably would have died if you went like a couple more days Yeah, man, I was fucked up. My face was blown out of here. I was like 11 my buddy got his finger closed in a car door once and like got like a blood infection Yeah, and he had to like wear like this weird contraption that like siphoned out his blood I swear i'm not making this up. I don't know what the device was But it was like it made sure like he like didn't die and he was like walk around like holding the shocker up Like i'll fucked up finger

My body lost his finger once Doing construction. Yeah, one of my one of my friends lost like the tip of his finger fucking disgust It's like he like where you're the bottom of your nail starts. That's what he lost Yeah, his finger looks like an uncircumcised dick if you if you yeah, but if you like shook his hand Are you just like he was waving his hands in front of you you wouldn't even notice And I think he's got a nail growing Random nail phantom nail See you got to think though. I wouldn't ask any just anybody to look at my ass. Oh, yeah, I feel I feel honored like you know like

I would it's a health. It's a health has also no hesitation on this side Yeah, he really was really not like I was on me about it at all. He was like, I'll check you. I'll check out your butt Yeah, you know he actually told me to go to the doctor say but I was like, I'll go I'll go tomorrow I'm just you know, I'm trying to get you. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just that butt ship shape. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I'm just afraid of them being like, oh man, this thing goes all the way down your dick And then what? But you gotta cut off my dick Let's get to the sponsors

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That's incredible. That is amazing That is incredible that is incredible Yeah, I've had a weird I've had a weird last couple days also. I hate how this looks Like where where where your bicep meets your thing like the fat right there is your arm do that I don't know You can't get up there. I can't I can't If I go like this, it's all right. Well, you don't like that you have like a line. I think everyone has that That maybe I don't know I just I really just noticed it

bothering it kind of looks like a baby's arm now that I think about Oh, fuck you No, no, no, you know how like babies are so like fat. They're chunky So that dude first of all that is ridiculous. Everyone has that You would have to be like sick for it to be not fold it over. That's true um But you know how babies just have random fat rolls like in the middle of their forearm Yeah, and they have like a crease between their wrist and my god, their wrist is screaming. Yeah, I'm like, yo, is this baby getting circulated?

Because it looks like it's a you know what it looks like, you know At this deli's you know the italian delis where they tie up the meat real tight Yes, it's kind of looks like a like a tight tied up salami. Yeah, I'm like, why is your wrist not there? Yeah, what is that dude? Don't they say your brain you I wonder if your brain grows or does it stay the same size? Um, I my head grew. I know the head grows, but does the brain grow? Um, I don't know It has to I feel like if it did we'd know the answer to this it has to it has to

Why does it have to they also say your eyes don't grow? They're the same size from the moment you're born until the day you die No, I don't think it's I don't think it's false. Look at my look at my eyes. Yeah, put these on a baby's face Yeah, dude, just eyes I'm gonna google baby. Yeah, yeah, google. I'm gonna google a baby. No, no, no, no just google if if the eyes grow I google baby face I'm googling a baby's face They have smaller eyelids and a smaller face

Now google google do your eyes grow see look at this baby's face. That's cute. That's a that's a that's a all right, baby No, that's a cute baby. Yeah, the hair is throwing me off a little bit. Yeah, it does look a little Yeah, you know you had a rough go. Yeah. Yeah worked in finance. All right. Can you google if your brain grows or not? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say yes And I'm gonna say that your eyes don't grow does your brain grow the grain the grain the brain grows at an amazing Rate during development. I think this is all like All like the like the frontal lobe grows like shit like that. I'm talking about the size Okay, does your brain grow in size?

uh, the brain The brain grows at an amazing rate, um I really wonder Oh, oh the brain continues to grow for a few years after a person is born and by the age of two years old The brain is about 80 of the adult size. Damn, dude Yeah, big old brain and a big old brain and then look up the eyes if the eyes ever grow This is the one I think I'm right about your eyes grow in size Your eyeballs get bigger as you grow up

When you're born your eyeballs are each 16 millimeters wide, but by the way, how do they know that? They're out here measuring eyes dog That's weird But by the time you turn three they will grow to each be 23 millimeters wide. I don't that's it Your eyeballs will reach their maximum size when you hit purity around 24 millimeters wide Oh, so that's like one millimeter Dude, you ever see a newborn's fucking if you put human eyes these eyes on a newborn's face It would have no more face. I wonder if there's any part of the body that stays the same size

No, it can't be your heart it has to get bigger All your all your organs have to get not trying to be funny, but like micro penises maybe Yeah, maybe their penis stays the same Not like the same, but it definitely like doesn't grow Yeah, it stays the same after I put a thought our brains grew into into like, uh puberty I don't know it's kind of crazy to think about it. Don't they say the brain is like your hands put together like this Yeah, or is that the heart?

No, no, this is the heart. This is the heart is your fist and then they said both fists together is supposed to supposedly your brain Yeah I don't know. I don't know. There's the bumpy butt boy with a weird brain. Yeah, I know you got a stingy butt Dear god, don't let this get to where it needs to get I've already had such a weird I had such a weird weekend between my butt and then uh, I told What I took Eli for a walk. Okay, listen this story Listen, wait till you guys fucking hear this one and I and this is this is you got you got the butt stuff going on at the same time Oh, wow. So I'm like, you know what? I'm a little nervous

A little anxious. Let me go for a walk. I take Eli for a walk, right? We go we go to the dog park by my apartment. Okay And I'm there it's around seven thirty eight, you know I want to say when was that Saturday night Saturday night and um There's usual suspects are there usual dogs usual dog parents And there's a kid that usually comes by every once in a while at night

uh with his mom because he likes dogs and um, He has some stuff He's um Mentally challenge. He's slower than most. Yes. Yes, okay There's no right way to say that. I don't know the right ways to say I also think mentally challenged now is like not there and then like mentally disabled isn't right. I don't know he's got Yeah, he's he's got some stuff. Yes. It's all I don't it's only a safe way to know what to say. Yeah, okay, so He's met Eli before and he's met the other dogs in the park and he's really really sweet kid

He always comes over. He's like, oh, can I pet your dog? I'm like, yeah, man. I'm gonna pet my dog dude. Go for it. Have a good time So we're sitting on the bench. He's sitting on the bench I stand up Eli's under the bench He comes out And he's facing the kid now Because the kid's giving him attention. I'm standing up just like, you know watching. Oh my god. It's cool

And the kid puts his hand up and just slaps Eli on the head Did he follow through just went like this this is Eli's head And he just goes like this Damn, he hit him hard. Yeah, and I see Eli wince. I see like, oh, you know one that your dog does that Yeah, like they close their eyes kind of like Damn his kids slapped a shit out of your dog. Yo, he slapped my dog Oh And a part of me got really angry. I mean, uh, you know

I got really really angry and this kid probably is between the ages of 13 and 15 maybe like he's like, uh He's young. He's a teenager, but he's not he's not like five or six. Right, right, right, you know He could do some damage to a dog. Yeah, he could hurt. He could hurt a dog. Yeah So on contact I closed my eyes Like what am I gonna do right now in my head and then I'm also factoring in everything That's that's going on. Yeah, you can't scream at this kid who's like, no, I can't thankfully his mother was there To like reprimand him a little bit. Yeah, but even she like I think she kind of let him off the hunk

A little too easily. She was like, oh, don't do that She was like, you know, like we don't do that. It's not your dog. We don't do that. You don't do that You don't do that to any dog. Thank you. And then I was just like in my head. She looks at me. She goes I'm so sorry and I just go Yeah Yeah, because you know inside it's just fire and brimstone Yeah, you know, I was like, dude, I offered my dog up to this person You know, and yes, he has some stuff. I get it

God, I'm sorry But watching this person slap my dog Pretty hard pretty hard on its head and Eli has a little head I became so angry make a noise No, he didn't he didn't go hurt. He didn't do any of that, but I just saw him do like the Yeah, like what the fuck? Why did he slap him? Do you know? Because I just didn't think he was he was excited Eli was excited as well. So I think he was just kind of matching his energy And just pat like fucking pat at him on the head like a hard pet. Yeah, because you pat it you pat dogs

Was it was it an was it an angry? No, that's the fucking hand came up. He didn't slap him across He went like this and pow So was it a hard pet or was it a like this was like, you know, it was a hard pet There was no mouse behind it. Oh, I thought there was some like no Fuck you. Yeah, no, no. He was just like, huh, bang Oh, yeah hard pet. Yeah, like he was slapping the fucking family fucking feud buzzer and I was just like, oh, man Yeah, now is a part is am I wrong? For feeling angry. No, I mean that situation. No, dude. I didn't act on it. Dude slaps your dog

You're gonna be upset. Yeah, and it's like, you don't punch a kid in the face. Like, he's you know, he's got Yeah, I think like I think I hailed it the right way. I didn't say anything. I said it was okay But for some reason Tell you what I couldn't get over this kid slapping my dog. That kid's not petting that dog anymore. Fuck. No You know and I don't want to throw anybody on Listen to the show that's in that part. All right, but another dog parent said, you know, he's done that with my dog before

Oh, so there were there were lookers. Looker honors Looker on on on lookers So they're on lookers look and they and they saw it, you know, like people are so they have weird dog park rules I'm like, this is uh, yeah, this is a habitual slapper. Yeah. Yeah, so she was like, I'm just letting you know He's done that with mine before as well. There's there's a pattern of a hard pet behavior here Yeah, but like I didn't want to join this barrage of like let's team up on this kid with stuff Yeah, you didn't want to light your torch or anything. Yeah. I'm like, I'm like, all right. Like whatever like My dog will live. I'm not gonna ban the kid. I'm not gonna ban the kid from the park

But do I let him pet Eli if he comes over again? And how do I approach this sitch? I see I say you just you start like once you see him enter the park I see him at least once a month. You should do a little jog when you see him Okay, we're gonna run over here. Yeah Because I'm not even the person to be like, all right, but if you're gonna pet him you have to be nice I feel weird even saying that why I wouldn't feel that bad if I if I was in a situation where I was lying like sitting down

And the dogs with me the kid comes and sits next to me again And I'm and he's like, oh, can I pet him and I'm like, what am I gonna say, dude? No I'd be like, yeah, but you gotta be you gotta be gentle Yeah, but I also don't want to talk to him like that but like he he has like some stuff. It's not like It's not like if he was younger, it would be easier. You don't want to come off as disrespectful Yeah, because like the kids like 15 or 16 to be like, all right, buddy But if you're gonna touch him, you gotta use your inside hands, you know what I mean? Like I'm not trying to fucking do that to a kid. I just feel like I don't know how to talk

I don't know what to do. Yeah, it's like, um It's like of me and you were walking down the street, right and a 13 year old kid said, hey, fuck you. Yeah, what do we do? I go No That's all we could say. Yeah, but if a 13 year old comes up to you and punches you right in your face, you can't do anything For the most part that would be tough. He'd get a good push. Oh, yeah, you get a very good I do that one where you grab their shirt and like kind of like tornado them to the ground I probably just hold them by a shirt and like call his parents or something

You keep fighting back. But what do I what do I do if this kid comes back? I say you try to get out of there. I say you let him pet the dog or say you What if it was an isolated incident and now I'm just creating this this horrible scenario in my head? I don't think it's a horrible scenario because I've done that like with with like Other dogs. Yeah in in the dog park that if they fuck with charlie once then I'm like Well, if I see this dog coming in here, I'm gonna leave because I'm not like it's not worth it I hate when people bring dogs that aren't dog park ready Dude, when they bring them into the dog parks and they have white people problems

Well, and they have them on there And they have them on their leash. I'm like, yeah, if this dog can't be by itself like don't come in Yes, take this fucking asshole somewhere else. Yeah, dude. Go take him home. Yeah, put him in the garage bench price or whatever Yeah, fucking dog sucks. There was a dog that did that with charlie. It was like attacking. Yeah, I I was furious that day. I that was the closest I've ever gotten to like punning a dog's face. No, well No, because this dog was brawl like I would have had to do it out of like saving his life But this is the only time that I was like you're kind of scared of the dog Dude, this dog was terrifying, but like I was ready to go to war with it

But I that was the closest I got to just screaming at a woman in public Yeah, and just like losing my shit because It was a big ass pit bull and this isn't nothing against pit bulls because charlie One of charlie's best friends when the old park was a pit. Yeah, he likes part pit. I think Uh, but one of his best friends was like a pit bull and that dog was fucking Huge it was it the guy that owned the locker mat. Yes. Yeah, that dog. I think his name was ziggy, right? Yeah, his name is ziggy and the dogs had his huge tremendous boys. They were like they would they were cool That dog is the man. Yeah, he was mad cool. Yeah, but I fast as shit too. Yeah, so I go

I'm in the park and I'm by myself. There's no one else in there This woman walks by with a with a pit and it has one of those collars that like digs into their neck I'm not a fan of those because I feel like If you need that Then this is clearly a misbehaving dog and you're like, yeah That dog is clearly just trying to rip things fucking heads off constantly probably right like you've had some trouble with it And that's why you had to get that collar. I may be wrong there, but that's just what I assume So charlie meets him at the fence like on the sidewalk charlie greeting

And they're like smelling each other the both wagging her tails and they're like, you know playing or whatever So I'm like, all right, cool. Like, you know, I had never seen this dog before So the woman brings him in to the park and then lets him off the leash and I'm I'm cool with whatever I don't care. So I'm just, you know, I'm petting the dog and then they're running around doing whatever And then all of a sudden this fucking dog just like saw red And like went after charlie like like like a vicious, you know, dogs like they get vicious and they turn their head sideways Yeah So he starts doing that. So now I'm like, yo, so I run over there, right? Yeah, and the dog now like I have

Like so charlie is getting like whatever what he does this thing I forgot the the term for it, but I ended up looking it up afterwards But when dogs start going crazy or there's like a fight in the dog park or there's this and there's that He'll make distance between the problem and me So he'll get in front of me and keep me behind him. So he's like protecting me. You know what I mean? Yeah So he starts doing that. So I know like he's there's something going on here So I go over there and he has a harness that has like a hook on the back. Yeah So I'm holding on to it and this dog is just making like drive-bys like sprinting from one side of the park

And coming towards us and then launching at me or charlie Like and like chomping. Whoa. So I'm like, yo, I'm like throwing kicks at it and shit every time It's driving like running by yeah, and I have charlie and I keep turning him away from the door You're like rotating with them. Yeah, and I'm like, you know I'm putting myself before him because I'm like I'll take a bite to the leg and then fucking absolutely kill this dog Yeah, but if he bites charlie, it's a rat, you know So I'm like doing this and you know, I honestly he made like six passes Before her his owner did anything

And it was like she was like, oh You know and I was like, yo, you're nothing like your dog almost bit my leg off Those are the worst dog owners in history and I didn't say anything to her But I literally that was the closest ever been to being like, yo keep your fucking dog out of this You know, I wanted to lose it. Yeah, you want to go white. Yeah. I was so mad I wanted to go full white mom I went full white mom with those kids that one time Oh, didn't they like they threw like a rock at a cat or something they were throwing snowballs at a cat

Oh, all right And like there was these kids they were like 15 years old probably the snow snowballs of this cat. All right There was like a cat walking by and they would like they made a snowball like threw it and they threw one and I was just like What the fuck are these kids doing and then they went over and they're like petting it or whatever So I'm like, oh, maybe it's their cat like I was mad confused Yeah, but then they like were throwing snowballs at it like three snowballs and then I was just like I lost it Yeah, I'll get you. This is the kind of like weird shit that like little cycles sets you off I was like, yo, what the fuck are you doing? And then they got mad scared and ran away

Those are like the three kids that like accidentally burned down someone's house like five years from now Yeah, like uh Yeah, I was I was just like what the fuck are you guys doing? You ever throw such a perfectly placed snowball that you could never make that throw again in your life Like you'd have like these amazing Tosses. Yeah, these amazing feats of snowball throwing I've only had two ever in my entire life. So oh my god, they stand out to you. Oh 100% Were you throwing it at people or at people at people at people? I've hit stop signs from deep and been like, oh, yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah street lights never throw it again street lights because we used to do red, uh, obviously it's red yellow green and we used to do um Whatever it was lit you had to hit the the light right so we used to do Uh, what's the highest one red right red was one yellows two green was three So we used to play that game and like the first person like 10 would win like I never won that game. I was terrible at it I was the worst

This one time my brother and his friends are outside And like they're making my older brother jarred. They're all like 10 years older than like me and my friends and you're talking mad shit It's probably the Something what the fuck was that? I don't know man. This place gets scarier day every fucking week. I work here I thought someone was walking in. Yeah, but um So like they're talking shit. So it's like, yeah, you little motherfuckers ain't shit like whatever like suck my dick Like they're all just like son and us So we're like, all right. So like we're walking and I just have what like one of those like

No Stand up for us. I had enough of this. Yeah, like I stand up for myself moment. Yeah, so I fucking put this fucking Beautiful fucking snowball together when it's like half slushy. Yeah, it's half slushy There's a little fucking like a little bit of dirt in there just to keep it packed up And I said I'm gonna hit his his name was Wally And I said Wally uh My brother my brother jarred one of my brother jarred's best friends

And I said, yo, I'm a fucking hit Wally in the head with this fucking snowball And they were like, yo chill like yo they're older. I said, I don't give a shit Son when I tell you that I fucking steve young this fucking ball I couldn't not have thrown this thing any more accurate ever in the history of accurate throwing And you just crushed him in the side of the face In the side of the face and we took off into the cemetery that was All everyone started laughing at him because like he was the one that like would bring the boombox out And like, you know, like they had the little crew going around the neighborhood. I sounded like a fucking crush him

So I I hit him with that shit and we ran into the cemetery. He tried to chase us for a little while. He didn't catch us This fucking guy waited for me to come home Waited for me to come home and like trapped me down like put like mad snow in my face and like let me go back inside This guy waited 10 years older than me waited for me to come home like three hours later Just fucking like got secure. Yeah, it's secure But yeah, man, I have done stuff like that. So isn't it the best? Well, like I threw a pine cone So like there was this kid you got some air out of a pine cone. Those are tough to throw. Well, I had I had a

You know a vantage point. Okay, so I I had high ground um, I uh There was this garage at the top of our block. Yeah, like if you Climb if you go behind you could climb it. Yeah, and there was like this little clubhouse, right? So It was a garage right next to another garage So there's a small space in between that and over the year so many leaves Got in between that that it made like a surface that you could walk on basically. Okay, so If you go in through the alleyway behind the thing you climb this little fence

And now you're standing on like a bunch of leaves that have been compacted over the years and then when you walk to the end there's like, uh There's like a little it's basically like a little clubhouse And there was like a porno magazine that we like shoved in there Yes, because like yo we get to let's let's go back to the clubhouse and like look at Fuck and Naomi Campbell's tit fire, you know, so, uh We go there and This kid that we were friends with whatever reason was like mad at us. I don't remember why

but He was doing that thing like you know when kids are mad, but they have to be like Like if you're mad at your friends like you can't be mad at your friends and just be at your But you have to be mad in front of them. Oh, yeah, you know, you gotta show them you're like, oh, all right. All right And just like be there. So we're he knows we're outside So we're on top of the garage now looking at him And he goes inside and gets like his like binder of pokemon cards and then sits out Let's look at his back against his garage like this

Soaking like a motherfucker. Yeah, and just like whatever. So I just take a pine cone All right, and I don't even know why I did it But I just took a pine cone and I was like In the face, yeah, that's so hard Dude hit him in the face Immediately starts crying runs inside and I'm like fuck dude and this gets older than me by like three or four years Yeah, I crushed him. Yeah, thanks. Yes, and I had an arm on me back. That's trying That's a try. Yeah. I was like a prodigy back then. So I was putting some fire behind that like sidearm it

I just fucking just I just got him and it went all the way across the street and bang hit him Run the face and he had a hat on it was looking down and it hit him in the face So he was crying went inside. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know my fuck So I go home and then him and his mom showed up in my door. Really? Yeah damms And then my mom just fuck and killed me Yeah, it was great It was a good time though. It was a good throw. It was a good throw. It was a legendary throw one for the ages Yeah, everyone needs a legendary throw in their life. Yeah, I remember one time. I was we used to fucking do uh

We used to do this game We used to call it like jeter where you would get like these and you would try to throw shit like sidearm Yeah, yeah running and running and throwing or like jumping and throwing So we were doing this one time like me and my buddy matt uh And there was this girl Dana there Yo me and matt are doing this shit. Yo Me and matt are throwing these balls like back and forth at each other

I shit you not this kid ducks this thing hits Dana so hard in her face a baseball No, no, no, no, no, no just a snowball But it's like an ice ball like it's been like a couple days like you know like how it's like When you hurt your hand when you dig into it like that One of those and then this shit blew up in her face. It made her nose bleed It was bad But when I tell you I could not have thrown this thing any better It was I would have got signed by the Yankees. They saw that that's how fucking good it was

Drilled her in the face And like you know when girls people get hurt in the snow. Yeah, you know when girls like in high school like they don't want to cry Like kind of like they don't want to like They don't want to do that. I've seen mad girls crying I know I have too but they don't want to because it's like I don't want them to think I'm a cry baby Bitch right now. Okay, so she like toughed it up and like was like like got like Tough on me. Oh man, and then that put me in a situation too. I was like, you know, I can't fucking hit a girl, dude

She's about to beat your shit. Yeah, I was like, I gotta take this L. I was like, I gotta let her thankfully shouldn't beat me up Oh, thank god. Yeah, no Thank thankfully shouldn't beat me up But like you gotta take that L just like like what were you saying about uh the 13 year old Yeah, like you gotta take an L. I mean, I would have gave him a push but A shove a one-armed shove. I hate when kids would just hit you Yeah, man, like a like a four-year-old kid coming up to you and just like I'm like, yo get your fucking

Son. Yeah, you're dirty fucking caprice uncovered fingers off of me. It's like my cousin. So I'm like get your fucking kid He's punching my knees. Yeah See, I don't like any like I just hate situations where I can't react the way I want to I don't like that because then I lose control of like just who I am as a person Okay Jesus I don't know who I am. Yeah, it's like and again back to this kid. Listen, I understand he has some stuff

But like Again, I played it right But if next time I say him and if he slaps my dog again, I'm gonna have to talk to his mom Yeah, you tell his mom like listen, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna tell him like what would it would it be out of Bounds for me to say that no, and I think that you are also in Uh, the right if you even now just next time you see him you go up to his mom and like listen The last time he slapped my dog in the head. I have a small dog. Yeah I don't want to tell him. He can't pet my dog. Can you just you know, I would yeah

Just to be safe and yeah, the kid's really nice He runs around the park with the dogs like he throws the balls with them like he does like my job like that's cool Yeah, just try not to slap him around next time. That's the only thing Don't fuck Yeah, but uh, yeah another thing that's been pissing me off too is uh Halloween's coming up like this will be out after Halloween But all these people are going to these joker stares in New York

People have jobs I don't know man like I saw the video on twitter of people just going to the stairs What is that pretending to dance on them and like whatever and it's like Guys First of all, I'll say this they're the stairs are in the south bronx. Yeah, not where you want to be No south bronx is not a great neighborhood. You also see none of those pictures getting taken at night Let's just say that. Yeah, because it's not I'm sure people go there at night I wouldn't be surprised if people have gotten like fucking robbed over there. Oh, yeah

Like south bronx is like, you know notorious for for being like a dangerous place. Yeah And people are just like like I'd be worried about people who don't know that just being like let's just go see the stairs And like you going it's like dude. You're putting yourself in a barrier. That's like when that kid got robbed playing pokemon go People used to stick up people doing that all the time. Oh because they would tell you like where the gyms are It's like, oh, there's a good guy right now. It's over here and people would know they would want to come there And they would just wait and just fucking steal their phones. Do you say guy ride dose? Yeah, garrados. It's garrados Yeah, why'd you say guy ride dose because i'm just saying like people that don't even know about pokemon are just gonna go there to rob you No, no, no, i'm i'm concerned with the guy ride dose that you said

Why you so why why you so because that's not his name I just said his name the correct way before you said it But why'd you say it in passing because that because you don't understand what i'm saying you you think it's guy ride Dose no i don't i just said it the right way before you said it no i Yes, i did i don't know who said it i said it first You guy ride dosed. Yeah, but i was in character. Oh, you're doing it. You were doing a You know like a like a guy that doesn't know about pokemon. This is a method acting you're doing a little bit guy ride dose

I said the the right way before you even said it the right way So it's now i wasn't following you when we pull the tape. We'll see we'll pull the tape We'll pull the tape We'll pull the tape But uh, yeah, i don't think what's your favorite pokemon of all time. Yeah, uh Then you gotta think about it. Well, there's two i i was close to squirtle because squirtle was the first one i ever picked You know what i mean like that was my dude, you know Everyone was like, you know i'm going charmander and i was like, yo there's this cute little fucking turtle dude

Over here and like he's water and i'm an aquarius. So like we're kind of boys in that way We're both water bearers, you know, so i fucked with him, you know, so squirtle is like My guy and then i like hitmon chan Oh, i went through a big hitmon chan. Yeah, he was the man, dude hitmon chan Him only hitmon chan hitmon chans and the boy was the goat for a while for me Yeah, i'm zapdos. Yeah zapdos fucked everything up in that game. I love zapdos bad. Yeah zapdos was a bad Legendary bird. I think it was a girl, right? I don't know. It wasn't weird Like we never knew the sex like you could have female squirtles

I know they don't have animated dicks on the fucking cards or anything He said that with the smugest fucking look on your face I know they don't have fucking sex Yeah, but um nowadays you can't you can't assume No, no, no, no. She's non-binary or anything, you know, isn't that crazy that Like now when you fill stuff out, it's interesting because this wasn't the case where it'd be like Sex and it would it would have it has boxes and it says male female female prefer not to say Interesting yeah, why have it at all then I know why have it at all? What is the point?

I'm really trying to think of like an argument here, but I can't Because it's like if some people prefer not to say then then the person who has the application goes Okay, it doesn't matter, you know, you prefer not to say that's fine. But if they prefer not to say then why are we asking? Maybe it's because like they don't want them to like Come up and be like, I don't want to answer this question But that's what i'm saying like why have the question then if if a possible answer could be I'd prefer not to answer this Why have it at all or just put other like every other fucking thing and they could just write I prefer not to say I hear you though

It sounds like a waste of a bubble to me You know, I didn't know what Caucasian meant for the longest time So unlike my my school exams like I would just put other and then just write white Because I didn't know what Caucasian meant. I was like no, dude. I'm not Asian What is Caucasian? You know, I mean, I don't know where the word comes from. I know what it is But I don't know where like the word stems from I don't know, but I remember I remember because I didn't know what Caucasian was and now it says like Uh, Caucasian when parentheses says white, you know, it's like it's one of those things. It's like

Are we white? Am I white or am I like a pinkish? You're white That's not that white. You just you you don't have like a I'm more peach. Yeah, you don't have like uh, this is salmon Yeah, you know, I'm not this. Yeah, this is you know, like I have an olive hint to my skin Oh, yeah, you're you're very olive, you know, it's like you're just kind of like you're out there It's that irish party. I know but like white Yeah, well black people aren't black

That's true, you know, I think we're getting all these colors wrong. Yeah, let's just start changing the colors Yeah, instead of the prefer not to say let's just get the colors ready. No, it's weird. It's like I'd be like, oh, yeah like is he Spanish I'm like Is it Latino? Is it Hispanic? Yeah, I yeah, that's a lot of stuff. Give us one. Yeah, give me give me one Also, what was that whole thing like the racist thing with the Asians where it's like they're yellow I have never in my life gotten close to thinking that no, I'd never looked at an Asian person I've been like, oh my god that guy has a yellow tint. I'm like that dude has olive skin Like that guy just looks like a

He looks he has the same skin as me Isn't like the word oriental supposed to be like weird It's like not like a good word. Uh, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know man. I'm not I'm not up on the racism nowadays Like if someone was just like it's oriental I think it's racist My computer is ringing You have everything set up like that. I don't I don't know why that's like that. Um, but yeah, I think that's like

Racist one. I mean, I don't know but like what about oriental rugs? Is like your rug races now. I don't know what even that is to be honest. They're like you like expensive rugs like $30,000 rugs Jesus, how the fuck would spend on a rug rich people? Yeah, but I don't know. I don't know Whatever all I know is that's all came from zap house But yeah, but like with the Joker's wait, wait, wait, wait, wait Was there one pokemon that you absolutely hated? Yeah, I had a couple fucking weedle Oh, yeah, because in the game he would show us five seconds. Fuck you, man

Fuck weedle fuck weedle and the other one that I used to fucking hate too was uh Not jinx, but I didn't really like jinx that much. We're gonna say the same one Wait, we might not say the same one You know, which one I hated who took a pee. Yeah Took a pee kind of sucked. So annoying. Yeah, and the other one that kind of sucked though, too was I didn't like her that much clifery Oh, yeah, that fat pink. Oh, yeah, I didn't like clifery. I fucked with lick-a-tongue hard Yo, I used to fuck with lick-a-tongue, man. That's my shit. I didn't like my champ. My champ was my champ got bitches

And then sigh duck sigh Sigh duck Whoa, dude That was the one timer gold duck was fucking gold duck was dope because he got bigger and like had like some black on him. Yeah, it was like blue. He was like gold dust. Yeah. Yeah, just gold duck. Yeah, um Those ones were awesome blast always obviously. Yeah, dude. You got shoulder cannons. I'm fucking with you big time, but char is I like Don't don't hey. No, no, no, no, no, no, no charizard was where you wanted to get

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's where everybody wanted to get you want a million though Charmillion was cool my shit, but charmillion in the show was kind of a dick. Yeah. Yeah He was a dick to ash, you know I'm saying so like I didn't fuck with him that heavy And then char is already like couldn't really control them. Yeah, they're like learning to control them. He's a big dude He's a big big powerful. Have you ever looked up their weights? They have weights. Yeah, they're heavy. Yeah Dude, also, how much is how much is blastoise way? I think he weighs like 240 Damn, dude. Yeah So I weigh more than blast. I am I am blast. You look like blast always to be honest with you blast always height and weight

Blastoise height and weight Five foot 180. Oh my god. It's a twink. He's five foot 180. Yeah. Oh, I'll fuck five foot three I'll fuck his ass up. I'll beat up a blast always. Yeah. What about charizard though? Charizard, I think was huge. No, I used to remember these things being way heavier Dude, when you're like a hundred pounds 180 spake though charizard He's got to be in the two bills. He is two bills, but he's five seven I'll fucking rock his shit. I'll rock Charizard, dude. You got any you got any other ones? Um

Who's like what was the champ my champ my champ was big man my champ is uh five three two 86 that's Fat. Yeah, that's a fat dude. That's a big old boy my champ at all. What was the three headed one? Oh, uh, uh, I hated him too. Uh, uh, dothrio or whatever the dothrio I don't know. But um, oh onyx onyx was big pidgeotto was cool Onyx height weight Onyx was just stones. I just spelled both of those wrong

How big is onyx? It's over 26 feet long. Damn. So I don't fuck your ass up But oh, I spelled it wrong. I spelled it like onyx Like the wrappers 210 kilograms that's like 400 pounds. I don't know I know it's heavy. I know it's heavy. I know it's heavy. Yeah, it's heavier than pounds. Oh, what was the was the um Who was the dude? He was like a he looked like a pineapple. Oh, man Executive executive door executive tour

What was the pokeball the electric pokeball electro? Yeah, yeah, uh, uh volt orb volt orb Executive tour is whole What do you got Six foot 260 that's a big dude that dude that dude's cleaning house. That's a that's a that's a that's a linebacker in the nfo Oh, yeah, get some fucking Who's that volt orb? Oh, no, that's executive tour. Oh executive tour volt orb height weight

Oh venisaur too. We got to check out venisaur is a big fat bastard Oh, uh, wait. No, this isn't it. What the fuck is voltron force? Venisaur was a Dummy thick bitch. Yeah, dude The worst of the six foot 220 who venisaur damn dude And that's not all force. I don't beat this. I think that was the worst one out of charizard and blast Yo, how's blastoise 5 3 dude? I can't I'm I'm gonna That kind of that kind of ruins him for me to be honest. Fuck blastoise now. He's a little bitch a little chode

How big was ash Ash catch him. Yeah, what was he fucking three three foot four? Yeah, because charizard was huge He's 158 pounds and six feet tall Damn Oh But yeah, this is fun. I could do this all day. Yeah, uh, well fight lapis height weight

Lap I don't know why lapis came to my mind eight foot two 485 pounds. That's a water monster. Yeah, that's a hell of a woman. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know what I'm saying That's a bad bitch. There was a fat one that came into mind just now and I lost it. Jinx was hot for trans Oh, no, oh mute, right? Wasn't she like a trans pokemon? I don't know Holy shit, dude. Mewtwo is a fucking Dude Mewtwo is six two two seven. Damn, dude. Yeah, he'll fuck you out of you get out of his way Very bottom heavy. Oh, yeah, it was thick. It was thick, thick thighs, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

Can you put it what sex jinx was or was jinx? What sex is jinx? I think I think it was a trans pokemon or I just saw a female female only species with no male counterpart Oh, that's what it was. They had they had no Uh mating partner, right? So it wasn't a trans pokemon. Yeah I thought that I thought that's how they marketed her. Let's see what let's see how she's doing over here She is four foot 90 pounds Little spinner Fucking jinx, dude. Why I don't know why I thought that but for the for the longest time I thought jinx was like a trans

pokemon I don't know Anyway, I think we can do this all day. So we're gonna stop now But danny, where can they find you at danielo priori on instagram and twitter and make sure to check out the stank podcast where We'll probably continue this conversation Uh at the stank podcast On instagram and the stank podcast on youtube youtube.com slash the stank podcast you got

Yeah, I farted it smells exactly like a pumpkin. Yeah, yeah, like a pumpkin. Yeah, um, you guys can follow me At jose and I gotta go follow the show at the baseman yard and thank you to all of our patrons We just put out some new content for them Exclusive stuff and the exclusive episode also just dropped as well on there We have one exclusive episode that goes out every single month Um that we do just like this that is only available to them Uh, so go check that out patreon.com slash the baseman yard and go check out other people's lives as well Another podcast over on san agar studios and definitely go check out the youtube channel youtube.com slash san agar studios

We have a bunch of content coming out peeps trying to take over the game in 2020. All right That is all See you guys next time