The Basement Yard - #219 - We're Going Down

Episode Date: December 9, 2019

On this episode, we honestly just go off the rails. This is the craziest episode in a long time. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard Little sickness going around the office today. Yeah, we uh, little little little foolish bug going around Yeah, Danny's all fucked up today. Yeah, but I feel all right, you know, I'm gonna tough it out I'm gonna tough it out for the greater good. Yeah, man What is the greater good though the fans the fans the fans fans of the show fans of the show? I'm I can't I can't give them a lackluster performance. Yeah, you got to bring it up. You need some energy. Yeah for sure I need some I need the big dog. I'm here. I'm here. I might die. I can't have a little pussycat. I gotta have a big doll No, yeah, yeah, that's only one pussycat on the show. It's me

Yeah, you know what I'm saying? You're not pussy. I'm pussycat. You're pussycat pussycat drinking watermelon lemonade Seltzer which is not LeCroix. Not LeCroix. It's LeCroix It's killing the people. It's killing the people out there. Apparently. I don't really believe it though I like that hat. I haven't seen that hat in a while. Yeah, if one goes crazy because I put these out once I sold like I only made like 20 of them. So whoever has one like But they're you know, they're hard to make Yeah, do they like

Do it themselves. So I did it through a kid that I know from the neighborhood and we both We distressed them ourselves really with a knife Yeah, I had no idea. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, they're really cool though. I really like the Also, hey new merch boom. That's what I was getting at. Yeah, boom. There it is These hoodies. I'm not even gonna lie, right? So like the like we these hoodies are fire. Yes Like the the the second capsule that's coming of Santa Gala Studios merch is so fucking dope. Yeah, and there's a package coming tomorrow Wait, what's today Tuesday today's Tuesday. So yeah, there's a package coming tomorrow that has a ton of new shit So once I get those samples and I go, yo, these are all dope or these are trash or like these ones are good

These ones are trash. Then we're gonna have a big holiday drop. So get you while it's out kid Get ready to drop that quiche. Get ready to drop that shed. What the fuck is a quiche? Isn't that like a like that pastry thing with cheese? I thought it was a That's a knish. I thought it was a potato is a knish. I don't know what the fuck a knish is I don't know what a quiche is. I think it's like a small pumpkin. I think a key. No, that's not right I think so a quiche is like a ship. It's like an abridged a bridged pumpkin Aren't there a couple of them? There's like a they come along like a little thing like that I think it's a sailboat. It's like one of those sailboats, but it doesn't have an engine

You let the wind take away. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but you kind of like lean and it kind of drives itself Imagine these people sail still that's a thing right people are sailors. I'll tell you this Speaking of which this is crazy. I thought you that you just said that yeah, cuz I'm I'm wearing the shirt on the sailing team merch sailing team merch. I think it's still I don't know. You're the boss. Yeah, I don't know I should I don't Do you like the name CEO Joe? I think it's funny. I think it's hysterical and it's already gotten caught. It's it's caught on it's caught on But I'll tell you this like CEO Joe is just the reason why I don't know why and what took me so long

the reason why it's so funny is because people have Caught on to like they've latched on to it so much that people have been making comments and saying things like he's like Not talking to us like talking to themselves in the comments being like he's the CEO of this Yeah, yeah, he sounds so like crazy professional shit. That's I think it's a it's a fitting nickname though It works it works one cuz you are technically the CEO. Yeah, I mean, there's no like, you know big fortune 500 company here But yet yeah, technically I am a CEO of a company, you know, I think what you're doing right now is illegal I would love not be a CEO though. That'd be awesome. No you want to sell. No, that has nothing to do with it I'll be a founder. I don't want to be a CEO

Okay, I don't want to have to make decisions You just want to see a chairman of the board types ask seat I'd like 51 and someone can have 49. Do I get a seat at the board? You can have a seat at the board Oh, nice, dude. I don't need to get a pay raise. I just want to see it Do you realize that at some point if this goes the way I wanted to go? There's gonna be a room full of people who are way smarter than us and are making crazy decision There's so much money rolling around and then it's just gonna be me and you in the corner Me you and Josh in the corner and they're not even gonna pay attention to us

Just bouncing balls all shit like dangling little toys Yeah, and they're like yo these idiots are the ones that are gonna make the fucking major decision here. Go ask Joe Yeah, I wasn't listening. What'd you guys say playing tic-tac-toe over here? No, I hope that day I know that day is gonna come. I'd be fired. Yeah, I'm telling you. That's why it's like Because you know the stuff that we've been posting on Santa Clara studios. Yeah. Oh, yo guys I have I don't think we even talked about it on this go follow at Santa Clara studios on Instagram We're turning that Instagram into Like a daily vlog on the story

So whatever goes on in here like every day like we're gonna be posting like a ton of shit on there And if it doesn't then Danny's gonna get for real fire because that's his job. That's very true So We're doing a bunch of stuff on that account and we're gonna start collaborating on a You know a lot of cool content that we're shooting obviously I painted my Walgreens So that we can do that but we're gonna have like we're gonna work with some really fun comedians and shit and put out some cool Content on that channel also, but definitely go follow at Santa gato studios Very passionate about growing that page. Yeah. Yeah, we got we got some good organic growth

Mm-hmm. I think they say that in the business, right? I don't know But usually on that on that page. Sorry usually on that page. We go live at least once a day also And like I said a bunch of content on there So definitely like if you if you want more if you want to see the inside out of the studio and the Arguments that we have in here now. You have a front-room seat exactly Joe is saying some of our best content happens on the couch or in that room So now we're just gonna roll the cameras. Yeah at all times at all times at all times But if you're gonna be a CEO of a company, I think you having me here today is probably it is illegal

What do you mean? I think I should have got a sticky day off You didn't ask for a sticky day off because there were two We're too busy around here because I take one sticky day off the company grows 30% now now. I'm out of a job True man, you know what I'm saying What if you made something viral while I wasn't here that I'd be very upset you'd be like, oh man He doesn't need me, you know, yeah, that's what I'm saying I'm just trying to let this charade go on as long as possible. I hear you I hear you know, I got I got to keep the blinders on you. I listen if you try to leave me now. I'll fucking kill you

You know like Selena got shot by her manager. Yeah, like a friend that that's what's gonna happen You can't shoot people that hot. It's not allowed. I could oh, I thought you were talking about you I'm talking about Selena. Yeah, that was so much. I'm a shootable person. It's trash that they shot Selena like that Mm-hmm, you know, well, it was a one woman who was her manager far too hot to be shot. Yeah, I'm shootable We're all shootable here. I mean she was on a different level. We could all get shot in this office. Oh my god. Yeah. Yeah Man, I hope what someone doesn't break in and shoot all this clip's gonna go out. Yeah. Yeah, they saw it coming dude They did it before it's the fucking Illuminata Soddy dude, it's just something oddie dude. No, but realistically

I think I think you're bending some work labor work labor laws, but it's fine. I'm here for the team I'm down for it. Yeah, and then you want to know what Joe's first act was as I was sick sent me to the store First of all, I will say this that is true. Yeah, but his first act Um He lives eight paces away from a Dwayne read I'm like, can you just get some doctor there's a difference There's a difference between healthy paces and sick paces, you know that okay So even if we double them 16 paces, no, no, it depends on the degree of sickness But I would say it's almost 24. You're not doing the math, right? You have not doing the math

Joe, so you have a sick shuffle when you're sick. That's yes. It takes a little longer I gave you double the amount of paces there. Yeah 16 paces You could shuffle all you want grandpa, but you'd get there. How dare you? Yeah, I went there How dare you I knew my age age is him Just in the office fucking companies going down downhill. I'm telling you it gets worse before it gets better That's not my grandma used to say Before she died grandma's I

Feel like I feel like uh grandma's only talked in expressions. That's all that's all they did Like hey, you better not do that your eyes will get stuck like that. It's like that's an old ye old Thing, you know like that's not true and also grandma. You're very old You would have seen a couple faces get stuck by now, you know what? I mean you've seen fucking two wars Yeah, couple presidential assassinations You haven't seen a kid's face get froze see nom. Yeah, you know what I mean Where's the frozen face kid? Yeah, or like if you jerk off too much what it was the one with that like you're Something if you jerk off too much my grandma never said this to me, but you know what they say you jerk off too much

You're gonna grow a horn Dude, I wish I know like Pinocchio. I wish I could have had my grandma on the show man Yeah, oh You would have you would have wouldn't have been able to contain yourself because she's such a hard-ass Like she's not like she's a very loving party. She doesn't realize she's a hard-ass. You know what I mean? Is she like and she'll like cut she would cut my ass No, no, no, she would never do that, but Just the way that she's just talks you're like yeah, yes, where's where's she from fuck knows man like Queens

Yeah, like New York always of her. She lived in my mom's house. Okay, my mom grew up in that house so she had my mom in that house and then My mom and my dad got an apartment like over there. Okay, and then That feast Um over yonder and then they switched at a certain point when she had like her third kid when she had Keith They'd like switch. Oh, I thought I thought when you're talking about your grandma I was like damn your grandma had another kid. No, so yeah, you guys got to move out. I had another kid. No, they switched houses So my mom moved into the house my dad and us

I wasn't born yet. So they just swapped houses. Yeah, that's such a fucking queens Italian thing to do Yeah, I mean, I think they did it legally. You have more people. Let's just switch houses Come get your mail Everything will be all right Exactly to my knowledge. That's how it went. I wasn't alive, but you know and then she you know Live there until Till she was gone though until she croaked Croaked is such a weird expression. Yeah, you know

I also I saw the croak when you died you just go What was that? I thought that was a croak. It's sound like I fart It sounds like a little person fart. They do say there's a death It's so messed up to assume that little people Like make difference. Have you ever seen the video that little person drove it into water? It goes Yeah, someone edited it. Oh, listen. Sorry funny. It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Yeah, you know It's like listen. There's some things that are offensive. Trust me. Not that that's funny That's just funny the joke there's like that viral video too of like all those little women like walking down the street

Have you seen that? No, it's like it's like pretty vital right now And it's like I guess they're shooting like small women of the world or whatever that is You know like small small bitches Atlanta. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about and they're all like their drama queens Yeah, yeah, and they all like fight and then they have like normal size. Some of them have so normal size husbands Is that the right terminology? I'm really trying to clean up my terminology. It's really probably not but I know what you're saying Everyone's normal. Yeah, like a 510 guy. Yeah, exactly. You know what? I mean, everybody's normal That's saying they're abnormal. Come on. Come on. How do we backtrack? How do we walk this back to a place where you know, we're nice

Would you ever fight a little person? Fuck no What if they really tried to turn up on you and like they came at you with a weapon like Oh, then I'd fucking kick. Yeah, I'd fuck a little person up I mean, I feel like if you show like I say this though I show no pity on size. I some tall dude would fuck me up dude if If if anyone comes at me with a knife, they're getting punted. I don't care if it's a woman or whatever You come at me with a knife. I'm gonna have to defend myself here. Yeah. Yeah, someone's getting kicked in the mouth Yeah, I mean, but you probably could run around them for a while. No

You get close enough to me. I could I'm running no matter what I'm running But if they caught up to me You're getting kicked my initial reaction would be to run Yeah, I see the knife. I'm out. No. No, I mean just if a little person was coming after me Why oh because I don't want to stay there and fight you You know, I'll fucking clean a little man's clock Jesus christ You know the merch is great

You also I know what I love about them too is that they have like special houses Who little people they have special houses where like All like you see how like with the height of like your island is yeah, it'll be made for like little person height Okay, so the like little doll houses. They're cool. Oh man. That's offensive. No, it's not the doll house is common Could live without that You were educating me and then you and then you slipped. I don't think I I'm just saying I'm not gonna leave you out to drive I'll be in with with doll house. I'll be honest. I'm just saying it's I'll go down with the ship too No, it's fine. You know what I meant. I do but I'm saying I didn't mean it like that

I was just referring to smaller as house. Oh, I hope so much if they watch the show I hope they have a good sense of humor because we talk about you know ourselves. Yeah my grandma died, dude. Yeah I'm like 15 years. I'm a fat fat guy Everyone takes grenades. I'm just a fat sick Puerto Rican man I'm just a fat sick man. All right. Let me have one. I didn't you know what I meant by now. I feel bad It's all right, man. They're not here. That's true Um, but yeah, no

No, but I didn't know that. I mean it makes a lot of sense though because I mean that That would yeah, it's like just Actually, the fuck's going on in your throat over there, bud. You're playing around in there, dude. I had the Playing hoopsie-doopsie. I had a flimball in my throat right now. I'm like crying Now you ever cough and then you get the flim stuck in your throat and just sits there And I just went, huh, I couldn't get what I couldn't get any words out Yeah, no, but like, you know, listen, we got if I'm offensive I feel like

I feel like if I'm offensive I'm not like overly offensive with that Listen, this isn't cnn. Yeah, you don't have to apologize until people start to outrage. No because that's the right word You know me. I'd never like to upset anybody. I just was trying to use an analogy that that they just had smaller stuff Now I feel bad. Don't feel bad. They have small stuff. That's a fact. Yeah, that's true. That's true So wait, that actually that's interesting because Well, it's lower stuff. It's not smaller. That's where I messed up. I said dollhouse because You can't live in a dollhouse. No, not that small. No, no, no. Well, what I meant is everything is for their height

It's built for that for the I feel like so how do the so moving into new apartments How does that work? Like is there only like certain Places you could go up. I mean, yeah, they probably have to I mean, no if you live in a regular apartment It could be like step stool. Shit. Yeah. Yeah What that's a real thing. I know I know I just love that you put shit on the end of it step stool. Shit Yeah, like, you know, like there's like little platforms or something

I would love to like Because even now to this day, I still can't reach some things Yeah, I mean, we're not like I'm not a tall man. I'm not a tall man. Yeah, you're not Is that where we're ending this the conversation? I'm on your side. I'm closer to you guys. They've done so much little person shit just now It's all right. It went off the rails. No, but you want to know something? They don't get enough love on the show I'm gonna fix it in post. Yeah by fix it. I'm gonna leave it all But no, let's just have another thing though. Remember how a couple episodes ago

We we spoke on the trans thing a lot of people reached out to me So I wanted to thank those people to reach out to me on educating the first date thing. Oh trans people reach out Yeah, yeah, yeah, they were saying the where they say, um, I had like seven mixed reviews Yeah, I had seven or eight people reach out to me. Okay, and um A couple of them were fans of the show fans of the show. Awesome. Yeah. Yeah, it's awesome And they were saying, um, you know, some of them are pre some of them are post Okay, um, that means a pre operation post operation. But does that as I'm dressed as a doctor Is that strictly genital? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah

Because some people are like in the early stages of like hormonal therapy. What one of them was So a lot of them Supported what we said you should say it. Yes. You should disclose it Probably at the end of the date was a majority Yes, now I had one person who said Well, they kind of took a shot at you, but nice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not gonna say what it was for But I will uh, they were just like you could like you have to say they said you compared it to having herpes Yeah, I but I but I said before I put a big warning before and I backed you up on that

I said I said he didn't he didn't mean it like that. He's just saying that Along along the lines of something that you should disclose. Yeah is what he meant Like a secret sort of and she Um was saying she hated me for that. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. She said she disagreed with it But I was like listen that's he I know what he meant. Yeah, I got you You got you got me with the little people thing. I got you with the with the trans stuff I got your back. Oh, we're going down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but no So a lot of them were like, you know, they were like, uh

Most of the time I do disclose at the end of a date Okay to let them know kind of my history Because like we said on the show some people can get go fucking and I asked them that Yeah, and a couple of them have had bad experiences with it. Right. Yeah, and like, you know But one person presented it to me like is like, you know It's knowledge of like She compared it to like oh like my grandma died or like I have diabetes So I related and she was like, oh, I have diabetes. It's not something I need to let you know

Right now like as we're on a date. I think it is though. I do I and I've replied and was like, listen You know, I really do though if you're really gonna be going out with somebody that's one part you gotta be authentic about Yeah, absolutely about something something like that. I think you you know, I think eventually You don't have to but like I said I was saying in the last episode It's like a very new thing and people aren't adjusted. Yeah to it yet So I think it is something you bring up and I spoke and I spoke to male to female. Sorry. No, no, no I was gonna say just think about this I would like if if I went on a date with someone at the end they tell me they're transgender

Yeah, cool But if we're on the seventh date and we've made out a couple times over like, you know Been a little intimate or whatever And then you tell me it's like well, you know, like at that point Yeah, it's fucked up. It's fucked up and and most of them agreed And I think she still kind of agreed but she was just like kind of being like it's my business to tell which it is 100% but when there's other people involved comes other people's business. Yeah, exactly and I spoke to to Uh, I also just think for their sake you would want that to be out there first

Yeah, I mean like I said And I said on that episode too like if you're transgender you have to be obviously aware that not everyone's cool with that There are people out there that aren't even cool with Fucking black people. Yeah, like you know what I'm saying like they're just like, you know the psychos out there So like you disclose that because you don't want to deal with someone down the line and like waste your time on all these dates And then it's like one of these crazy people that are like Yeah, you know, oh you're talking about trans. I thought you were talking about black. No, I'm talking about By the way, I'm black

Guys like wait, what wait, what won't do back up you're black. Yeah, man But yeah, no, it was it was a lot of it was actually very informative Yeah, I and there was a male to female and female to male that reached out to me So I kind of got both sides, but they said a couple people said they've had some people freak out Yeah, I mean like I said flip the fuck like they were scared for their safety like flipped out. Yeah, see that is a little ridiculous Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean I get a person being blindsided and being like whoa thought you were a woman First date You know what I'm saying, man, we're gonna have to start this whole episode over

Don't worry. Don't worry because uh, we'll pin it on Papa John later on We got Papa John stuff to save this whole episode. We got a scapegoat for this one. You think we're bad? No, but like imagine like You know saying like a woman from verses what I meant, obviously, uh, and You know, so like I said it being new I can see how people were like, oh wow Yeah, I didn't know that but like if it was a date It's way different to something intimate happens. I think because if it's at the end of the day and it's like hey I had a great. I had yeah, I had a great time so and so and it's like

But you know, there's something I would like to tell you because I like you or whatever I want to see you again. We're gonna take the next step. We're gonna take the next step. This is what it is I wouldn't go like Oh Fuck. Yeah, like, you know what? I mean like that's what they were saying. Oh like these guys were like Like I went on a date with so-and-so with a dude. Yeah. Yeah, and they like said that to them that was that's what made me feel That's that made me feel bad. I was like, damn, that's fucked up Yeah, you know, I like I I know I would never say that so I don't like I can't it's so hard to me to even like

Put myself in that frame of mind of a guy like that. Um, but Uh, yeah, I totally get that and that's what I'm saying. Like that's why you wouldn't want to deal with something Like imagine that guy But after like making out for four hours, then you tell him like now you're putting yourself in a dangerous situation Because you could be dealing with someone who's like a lunatic the the two people that told me that uh people like flipped out the Two of them One of them was before intimacy and one of them was after

And by intimacy, they didn't have sex. They were just like hooking up. Yeah, they were fooling around a little bit And what her defense was was that For me to even go out Was such a hard thing for me, right? But then she was like, you know, I understood that, you know, there's other people like involved and she learned from and she You know, she went out. She she's been on other dates and she discloses that Yeah, I mean from what I mean from doing other people's lives, like I've talked to people that have Certain things that you would disclose on a first date

Oh, okay. So we're just gonna have fires then, huh? We're just gonna do fires That's to change the topic fire truck. Yeah to get off This is a pr team to drive. Yeah, right? Stop fucking guy comes our parents come out to the window Guys stop don't do it. Bring a papa John deflect. Imagine being a hostage negotiator Oh, yeah, yeah, finish your point. I was talking about now I don't know what it was. I was talking about people on a ladder Like, you know how they go up and like talk to people that are like gonna jump Oh, yeah, like you don't want to do this. Yeah, who would be a better hostage?

Huh No, no, not like on a fire not on a fire Not not not the guy that's like down there with the megaphone Oh, yeah, there's two different things. Oh, yes, what are those called One's a negotiator and then one's a hostage negotiator. Yeah, the negotiator's one's like, all right, I'll get you a helicopter. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I want it. I want a helicopter now. Yeah I want nine million dollars. Yeah, I don't we don't know what I'm gonna start shooting. Yeah, I'm gonna start picking off women

Josh from the top rope. We need more. Yeah, we need them need more josh But you know, like I don't know who would be better hostage negotiator Do you think you could save more hostages than me? Do you mean like the suicide thing? No, no, no, no Oh, either way, I they're gonna do that if they want to do that either way. I think you're better at it You're a more charming guy than me. Yeah. Yeah, and I'm pretty charming. I bet give me two. Give me two hostages Come on, please. Come on. Want me to sing a song? Come on. Get my guitar I'd be the patch Adams of hostage negotiators. You would you dress like patch Adams right now, dude Sad movie. What a good movie though. Fantastic. Oh my god. Robbie will

That was one of the deaths too that like shook everyone to their core. Yeah, I cried I didn't even know the man. Yeah, I didn't know him either. I felt like a part of me died when Robin Williams died I was like, okay I was like, yeah, that sucks. Like man, he went too early. Like whatever and then like I started Seeing these things. Oh, yeah of like quotes from Aladdin and like You're and shit. He used to say and I just was crying. Yeah, I was like, oh my god Whole childhood was that man? It was the same thing with mac miller when mac miller died Like I was like, oh, yo, I was in I was in Denver and we found I was like, yo mac miller died

I was like, what like how do you die and then like, you know, whatever and then that's a that's still a sad one Like five days later. It like hit me. I'm like, damn, dude. This dude meant a lot to me. Yeah They don't want to talk about mac miller either, damn Too sad too sad Too sad Someone talk about shit. Yeah No, but mac miller man, like I feel like um, you know why because Um, I knew about mac miller before a lot of people

Oh, you're one of those guys I am one of those guys, but it's true. It's true. Like people have told me that it's the only reason I even know that You're been heard guy Yeah, I've been heard mac yeah been heard that dog. Also. I knew drake before everyone. That's a fact though That's a hard fact. I'm telling you I'm telling you wait like you knew him like not know him personally, but like music. Yes before like Like immediately when so far gone came out And no one knew that mixtape before like they was very after the fact like I knew about drake

Like Right before that uh that video came out for uh for best I ever had so before best I ever had Was mainstream at all. It was on so far gone Yeah, and I knew of that song and then I remember because me because back in the day me and imp used to run a music blog Oh, yeah, yeah, so we like really we used to like go We used to know weird shit because we always wanted to latch onto this person who we thought was like good and like Be the ones that like to break the news on it and now and drake was one of them And we were like, you know, whatever he was, you know getting a lot of buzz at the time

but he wasn't with Lil Wayne yet or anything and best I ever had uh was a song on that mixtape and I remember sitting in the bowling alley and it came on the radio and we were and I was with him and I was like, yo And I was like, yo, this dude. I was like, I knew it and we like flipped out But anyway, non-stop pressure ever since the the the mac miller shit I never realized how much that dude like Meant to me in a way, which is crazy because whenever people say like you ever see videos of fans going up to Artists and being like, yo, you don't understand what your music does for me

Like blah blah blah. Yeah never had that moment never like whatever But I guess it's because he died and you're like damn like I haven't even been a fan of his For the last how many years to be honest like I didn't really like I like this really old shit because at the time I was We're like the same age me and me and mac miller And you kind of were kind of going viral at the same time. Well, not really I was just like chasing it and his dude was doing it off of youtube. Yeah. Yeah and making music or whatever So it was very like inspiring to see what was that when kids was out Kids yeah and best day ever and shit. Yeah, so when that stuff was coming out

Like I would always listen to his music And it would put me in a mode to be like motivated. So when he died, I was like damn, dude Like why did I owe the mac miller to where mac was nice mac was not like not just like nice for being white Like he was nice just for being nice Yeah, it was good and by nice that means like he was a good rapper. I know we have a lot of uh white women following So he was he was dope. He was a nice gentleman. He was a nice gentleman. That's it. Yeah, that's that's That fire truck is literally parked right outside of this park. Look Up now it's moving

They're like we're checking on them. It's good. They calm down. They calm down. Yeah, you know because It's weird like even for us though, too Like it's weird when someone Unless I'm not comparing myself to a celebrity status of a mac miller or a drink But like when people like will reach out to us and be like, yo, we really love your shit Like you'd like, you know, like you had a post of a girl that was sick Like I thought that was so great. What when that when that girl was watching your video. Yeah, I was like, that's it's beautiful Dude, I can't even write my mind around that. Isn't that kind of crazy? I'll talk like I can notice it in the moment of like

It happening and being like, oh man, this is so awesome. But that it like event one day that's gonna hit me of like Holy shit. Yeah, you impact people. That's the thing. I don't realize a lot of a lot of the time Like it's like a lot of time we're working and like we're doing shit. It's like we impact people in a positive way Which I don't know how that happens You know what I mean There's a kid in australia. I remember he has cancer and he was like wearing a still fat like shirt in australia like I was like, yo, this is fucking crazy. Yeah, you know, if you were born like 30 years or 40 years beforehand It's not happening. No way. No way. Yeah, I'd be doing some other fucking shit

Yeah, it's kind of wild. It's kind of wild, man. This is a crazy world we live in. Yeah, man Hopefully you like this nice conversation with like, you know, put a blanket on the beginning of this episode Guys, I've been So sleep deprived and on night quill for about four days. Yeah, so I'm not even gonna remember this episode So I just want everyone to know that ahead of time. Okay, it's off off to a hot start Um, I'm gonna get to these ads. We just bang them out of the way We have a whole lot to talk about and be honest with you kid Um guys christmas is coming up

Oh my god, I'm getting burpy. I'm getting burpy. Do you want some water? Oh, no, I don't Oh, man, I'm still burpy. All right. We have some um, we have some stuff I'm some gifts you guys can pick up for some people or for yourselves. It's the holiday season the spending season. Yeah, I mean Uh, I'm saying yeah, I mean, I just So first one being Datto brush, uh quip. Um, it's an electric toothbrush. It's got vibrations on it. Yeah, I'm saying yamming No, but every two minutes of every 30 seconds it vibrates and it stops vibrating after two minutes So that you brush for the perfect amount of time

I have to quip if you see me brushing my teeth on uh, you know my instagram story You see the quip in my hand. I'm a big quip guy quick. Okay in the best part about quip You get new brush heads every like three months Uh, which is a clean. It's like on skit. It's what the dentist recommends. It's what I'm trying to get Okay, every three months you have a new toothbrush. They send you new brush heads with a battery and some toothpaste five dollars Okay, it's amazing. Um, but yeah quip starts at just 25 dollars You get your first refill pack for free at get quip.com slash basement. That is g e t q u i p dot com slash basement to get Your first refill pack for free. It's my favorite toothbrush of all time. Okay. I will not use anything else

I know the whole you know, you know, I'm never gonna say some other brand because I don't want to get in trouble from the peeps All right, go get quip and that's it. It's only quip get your people been hitting me up saying they're getting their quip And showing me pictures. They love their quip. Okay, so if you don't have quip quit Ah, see what I did there man bars. I'm off to a hot start. I'm sweating in this hoodie, but the shit is fire So I'm not taking it off That is a great sweatshirt. Yeah, I just took a deep breath and now I'm scared that I just sucked in all the whatever the Fuck your sick. I'll put my mask back on put that shit on Next we have blue apron. Okay blue apron offers flexible meal options

Uh with an ever-changing mix of meat fish plant forward and vegetarian recipes. Okay Basically with blue apron what's gonna happen is you go onto their site You pick out a few things that you like and then they send you a box with all the ingredients They're pre-portioned down to the salt and pepper. They don't give you anything. You don't throw anything out. Okay No waste no waste and you get instructions on how to cook this thing You can keep it make a cookbook get a whole puncher put it in a binder. There you go cook sell that on the internet The blue apron's menu is carefully designed and tested by their kitchen their test kitchen chefs Okay, these unique specialty ingredients to bring chef quality recipes to your dinner table

Basically, what that means is this isn't chicken nuggets This is real stuff here real meals real meals real meals go check them out guys Um check out this week's menu and get 60 off when you visit blue apron dot com slash basement that is blue apron dot com Slash basement. Okay. Did that say 60 dollars off? Okay. I think we're giving too much away That's a lot of dollars. That's a lot of dollars where I come from. It's a lot of dollars It's more than 50 and it's exactly 60 dollars off. Okay. Wait. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, exactly um Next we have native deodorant

Okay, they create safe simple effective products that people use in the bathroom every single day I have the uh deodorant That makes me sound like that makes me smell like vanilla and coconut. Um, I have the bar of soap I have the bar of soap that smells like lavender Wow, love lavvy love lavender. It helps you sleep. I heard it does don't know if that's true But it I think it does it's good for it's good when you're anxious too. It helps calm you down that I've actually heard Um, they have 9500 reviews from their customers. That's a lot of reviews a lot of five star reviews

Okay, we're what didn't I just say reviews a lot of stuff five star reviews. I think you said that's exactly what I said Um, but yeah, a lot of deodorants they have like aluminum and other stuff in them cigarettes I made that part up, but it's aluminum is a real one. Um, but they make aluminum free deodorant um That does not that does not mean they have to sacrifice product performance. They test it out, you know, whatever. It's amazing Um, go check it out for 20 off your first purchase visit native deodorant.com and use promo code basement 20 Uh during checkout that is native deodorant.com and use the promo code basement 20

Okay, go get some simple safe products PAPES and smell amazing too. Love it. You're a giggly boy No, because I saw something was coming out of your nose It was getting closer to your mouth and I was gonna see if you're gonna get it or not. Yeah, it blew into my face I felt that you get sick too. Yeah, I don't know man. I'm already sick Lastly we have here mvmt Holiday season watches dude

Holidays and watches go together hand in hand Wrist and wrist I was gonna I was gonna go there but you went there first Negotiator you could put them on your ankles too if you want. Yeah That'd be a hot trend. Listen go buy four watches from mvmt put One on each wrist and then one on each ankle. Yes, you know the time at all times. Yes queen Um, but yeah, go check out uh mvmt. There was a there's a watch on mvmt that i'm gonna highly recommend I mean it looks cool, but also the name Nitro blue

That sounds like it's got a lot of caffeine it. Oh, yeah, to be honest with you. It'll blow you door doors. Yeah, you're doors off Um, but go check it out the nitro blue go to mvmt. Um, they have they have great watches. They also How's it doing? Uh, they started just 95 dollars and not only that Uh, but we're gonna give you 15 off today with free shipping and free returns by going to mvmt.com Slash basement. Okay, go check out the nitro Blue blow the blue out of the water. That's what I'm nitro. It's got like a black band blue face It's it's it's definitely nitro and it's certainly blue fire. So go check that out Um, again get 15 off today with free shipping and free returns by going to mvmt.com slash basement

All right, so go check them out I think that's so How many oh, hold on I need to say I need to say that I thought I was done But I was like, you know what there's more words on this thing than last time so words If you're not getting your holiday bonus until next week, you're never getting it, uh, but want to order your watch right now No worries mvmt. Uh, they offer buy now pay later with clarna payments

Select clarna at checkout and you can pay overtime and for easy payments with no fees spell that clarna because I don't know It's k l a r n a. Oh, yes, clarna. Yes. I I I don't know but yeah for easy payments Boom There you go. Check it out. You got sometimes you gotta buy gifts for a bunch of people for a bunch of bites, you know Save some money, you know Do some installment payments story of my life Story of my life as well Gives me hope

Drive all night to keep you warm and tight Is frozen That's that's that's one direction. I miss 1d 1d 1d even makes it come be right Yeah, 1d makes the gotta make it come be 1d had some fire shit There's my shit, dude That song you and I is mad fire too. How's that go? We don't want to be like that. Oh, yeah, I do know that I promise to never come between you and I some banger. Yo, you see

Yeah, so I'm on snl. Yo Harry Styles, man. Let me say something about Harry Styles. He's like, it looks like a hot hamster Yeah, dude. He does but I will say this too The dude can wear whatever the fuck he wants and looks great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Sometimes he's where I'm like, yo, that's a business woman's outfit, but he's pulling it off somehow He's he's he's always fresh for some reason. Yeah, he's always fresh You know what I'm saying and he tries to I feel like he goes out of his way to be like, how far can I push this? I'm gonna wear a shirt that just has pumpkins on it and then I'm gonna wear these like swishy Business women pants and he just looks like a sexy freak

And he's got a good personality and he could sing like an angel. I think I'm in love. Yeah, he's a nice man Love that guy. Well put together a young man. Yeah, dude, you know and if one day makes a comeback I'll be front row. I was more of a front row trying to get a piece of those pants I was more of a zane guy myself. Zane was a hot man, but then he'd disrespect the group Yeah, yeah, you fuck you fuck doing that. I think I think you guys, you know I don't know the ins and outs of the whole relationship, but I think he thought he was bigger than the band Little bit got too big for his britches We'll too big for his britches. Yeah, I think so, man

Yeah, you know what it happens. They had the best voice. I'll never zane you though. No, man. I'm a hairy guy. Yeah Well, you're a hairy. I'm a hairy. You're an actual actual hair. I'm talking about hairy stuff Should we say what I did today? What'd you do? I applied If you've been following santa gata studios, uh On instagram, which if you're not go do it now before I kill you. Yeah Danny um decided to put himself out there. He's a big brave man. Yeah, okay, just like, you know He's a plus size model now. Yeah, so he put himself out there You know as as most brave people do. Yeah, um, he was like, you know what?

No pants. No shirt. No. No. Oh, he did have socks on. Yeah, um, no hat No glass. Uh glasses I had glasses. Yeah glasses pull me together. Yeah, they do. Otherwise, you're just a mess. Yeah, then I'm just My eyes going over here. It gets all googly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah when you have glasses on they're straight and when you take them off They wander Yeah, I could literally talk to you if you were like all the way over there Your glasses are like the dog leash of your face If you don't have your glasses on your mouth goes different places like everything just runs around

Like your glasses need to be on hold it all together. It's the glue Yeah, the the the worst thing is having sex with glasses because right after you finish you have to scramble to find them Oh, why they fall off. Well, no, I don't have sex with my glasses on why not you gotta be able to see Yeah, I know but it's like, yeah, and then it's like come on I gotta be more passionate if we're gonna be I can't be worrying about my glasses Oh, because will they fall off if you're like on top and it's like bang No, but it's like I it's like intimate. It's like you want to be fully naked I get you know what I'm saying. It's like you want to be skin on skin like you know pressed up against each other

Yeah, yeah, I mean a midnight rumble. Oh, yeah You know then like one crack of thunder comes outside I try to sync up like my my climax to the thunder thunder. Yeah, it's super hard It's only been done six times Yeah, and one of them was Kobe Bryant Kobe Bryant did it once right and I'm actually the only American To do it in a different continent Right when you were in Italy. Yes, of course. That's Europe. Yeah Different continent. Yeah. Yeah. I'm in the different Guinness Book of World Records book

Remember you would get the Guinness Book of World Records book and there was an American version Then there was like let's really fucking creep you out. Yeah. Yeah, Euro shit. Yeah, because euros are wild people Yeah, man, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah They had like nude beaches and like 14 year olds are drinking vodka at dinner and shit. Oh, yeah What the fuck is this? We were talking about yesterday if there was an orgy If your friend was like yo, I'm going to this orgy. Mm-hmm. You don't have to have sex But do you want to come would you go and by come you're not gonna come like out of your penis? Just I just join I'll go watch. I'll watch it orgy

I gander at an orgy Yeah, because I want to be able to tell that story be like dude I went to this place and everyone would like had eyes wide shut mask on Yeah, I may like had those long beaks if I'm being completely honest though I fucking one of those over my glasses a big beak. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know what you're talking about It's got feathers like a V for vendetta mask. Oh, yeah Yeah, dude, that's fucking that movie was hot. Yeah a lot of danger. I like Natalie Portman a lot I love Natalie Portman. You kidding me? I like her nice young black swan, dude. Nice Jewish girl. She's Jewish

Yeah, she's born is real Portman, yeah, no, that's not her real name Natalie Portman is not a real name. No, it's like now. I have to start guessing we got stage name. Her name is very Jewish What is it? Oh, do you want me to look it up Birkenstein? Is it silverman Natalie Silverman did you look that up quick? Oh, yeah, do me a favor look that up Jamie Jamie pull that up

Josh, you pull that up All right. All right Oh, okay. Okay, but yeah, I think she was born in Tel Aviv Yeah, that is a very Jewish town. It is Hersh lag. Hersh lag. Yeah Is it doctor in that family? Oh for sheriffs for sheriffs. Someone's doing surgery. What? Oh, she's born Jerusalem. Yeah, it was so was Jesus, right? Oh, that's Bethlehem. No, that's not Good night

Oh, my grandma's so mad at me right now. I know she's like I told them. Yeah Jesus right next to her It's like, can you tell him something? She's like, I tried to go sit in another fight truck by the house is fucking moron Oh, fuck Jesus in Nazareth. Yeah, you know that sounds familiar. Yeah, why am I thinking Bethlehem? That's a saying it's like, oh, Jesus in Nazareth No one says yeah, they do Okay, what are they used to say like? Jesus, Mary and Joseph. I've said that

Everybody says just a name everyone. It was there Jesus Mary and Joseph the three wise men a couple donkeys and a turtle frankincense and myrrh I'm pissed off frankincense myrrh What to this day don't know what myrrh is dude I'm we're looking I'm looking look up myrrh. Yeah, I need to know myrrh. I hope the guy from fucking impractical jokers shows up Oh, wait. No, it's myrrh Myrrh oil who the hell Spoil started to spell that that a fragrant gum obtained from certain trees and used especially in the near east in perfumery medicines and incense

Okay, so they brought Fucking an old candle some old cologne for Jesus. Yeah You traveled all the way from god knows what jewish town All the way to whatever probably walked it because they didn't really have scooters back then camels camels camels no ubers There are camels great. They they're slower than walking probably. Yeah, and you get there and the son of god is born and you're like Take some Calvin Klein cologne The fuck you want to know what it was you think I stink it was the epitome that was the first ever

Let me stop at Walgreens because there's a kid there and let me get him a gift real quick at Walgreens. Yeah, you know what I mean Yeah, like we're gonna stop on CVS. I stop him away. Stop on the way. We'll get it on the way I'll get him something there. It's fucking myrrh. Yeah, you probably picked that up like 20 yards down the road I just I googled frankenstein. That's not right Frank they brought frankenstein there frankincense frankincense and you gotta see the way I spelled frankincense frankincense I would have spelled franken like it's the same thing. They're all perfumes

They just want a good smelling baby. Yeah, they thought he's stunk There were these guys like the original like queer eye for the straight guy guys. It's like, oh, you need to stink You need to smell better. We need to get this baby clean. This baby smells like shit Caramo get this baby smelling right. Oh my god, mary. You're fucking vagina made this baby smell Listen, we're gonna decorate your whole manger. Yeah, we're gonna redo it We're gonna set it up and we're gonna take a picture of it We're gonna make it an activity set. Okay, and then everyone's gonna put it on their front lawns around christmas time Okay, especially the italians

Where's the dog, you know, they put like a random golden retriever joseph come out here. Oh my god You look so good everyone get behind the manger get behind get behind the manger get behind it Joseph has been wearing the same Same garb for the last four months. We got him a new garb. Yeah, and here's the new joseph. By the way, you ever see everyone Joseph i'm not kidding You look so freaking good. I'm sorry. I almost sweared wait. Was there was a god Was there two presents or three presents fraykins sense and murk gold See that guy

That's guys a good gift. That guy planned in what's that guy's name the three wise men I don't know what their names were why were they wise don't sound so wise to me bring a perfume to a fucking baby shower Fucking you bring perfume to a baby shower now. It's fucking, you know I that was the first baby shower man the son of god There was there was like there's a bunch of animals and shit now you go there and they're playing tic-tac-toe and like they got Pain of stuff on the table. Yeah, you don't want that. You don't want that three wise men Three wise men names names. Here we go. These names are probably for Balthazar five damn dude. Is that pokemon?

It sounds like a final boss, dude. Man hard to kill balthazar. I must battle balthazar dude I've thrown 18 master balls at balthazar he breaks out of every single one That was the worst one that happened casper Friendly wise shout out to the mattresses. Yeah, but um Damn, I can't pronounce this shit. Let me see. I'll take a crack m e l c h Mel Gibson loves his shit out of jesus. I know he was there. How do you pronounce this melt? What spell it again? m e l c h i or Melchiro, that's so fucking wrong

I think it's melkozuki melko melkoar melkoar How do you say how and if anyone comments below like I can't believe you don't know how to pronounce that It's a bc name. You're a liar. You're a liar. How did babies even survive back then? They didn't do dude. They probably how you pronounce it ready? Some videos mad long it's why we're melchior melchior All right, I gotta go back to the beginning hold on

Melchior Melchior it's a sexy name kind of yeah, what's that melchior? Melchior was probably the hottest but balthazar was probably the biggest balthazar sounds like a Fat Thunderous man. Yeah. Yeah, and he had like a weird. He had like a full man chew kind of like mustache probably or a big beard And he fucked hard Balthazar had the biggest cock of the wise man

For sure. So I don't know who's who but these are the wise men Balthazar's in the middle. No, no balthazar's balthazar. No the other one. Who was the second one melchior? Casper was this uh Seemingly black fellow. Okay And then this is Melchior That name was and then this is balthazar over here. He looks like he looks like fucking looks like casper swinging the biggest dick over there I mean, yeah, I mean, you know, he just based off a skin tone. You gotta assume that

Balthazar though looks like he's about to die any second though Yeah, I I bigged up balthazar too big that guy probably that balthazar probably is the one who's like, we'll just get him perfume I don't like the fuck. I'll give him an old piece of my age frankincense Wendy God, what do we get him? How about perfume? Give him a friend. What about donkeys or like, you know food or something No, not perfume. He's a baby. They all love frankincense That guy gave out fucking pennies and pretzels on halloween Yeah, we wanted those pennies just from 1947 save that one

Jesus man. Yeah, balthazar Why were they white and casper was black? I don't know man diversity Jesus ain't white. I'm just saying that What is it? He ain't white I don't know. Technically if you're european, you're white Did you know that?

Your Caucasian. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's what, yeah. But that's white. Like we have this argument in my group chat the other day, but like all Europeans are technically white. Like by the US census, the way they categorize people, it's weird.

This whole fucking continent is white, it's like the fuck. Everyone here is white. Excuse me. Shut up. Shut up. Shut your white ass up. You're white and that is all. You know what's weird too?

It's like, uh, like Iraq and Iran, they're like in Asia, so like they're technically Asian. Are they? Yeah, but they just don't consider themselves Asian. They're in the continent of Asia. I don't want to be on your team because I don't know. Ah, come on man, look up a fucking map. Let's go.

The gloves are coming off. I didn't take my globe out today, so I don't know. Look up, uh, look up where they are. Iran. I know they're close. They're close to Asia. Iran on a map. And zoom out that bitch.

Yeah. Yeah. They're in Asia already. Yeah, they're Asia. I told you man. But it's very close to Europe. They don't consider themselves Asians. I mean, yeah, man, I mean, I get it.

You know? Man, I get it. I get it, man. If you're not that, then don't be that. Dude, we touched a lot of, a lot of stuff today. What? Like, we're like, these topics are fantastic. I know.

I've enjoyed this one a lot. Me too. I'm going to collapse after this episode, by the way. I'm holding it together as much as possible. Yeah. But holy shit. Yeah, this company's going straight to hell. Oh, yeah.

I'm telling you. I'm telling you. I'll tell you what. Good segue. I'm going to Michael Jackson it for a little bit. Good segue. Good segue. This company is going down, and I'll go down as a CEO.

But I'm not going to go down as fast as old Papa John, baby. Wanted to bring up Papa John, because before we started recording, I saw it was like trending on Twitter. Obviously, so Pop, you know, Papa, the guy, Papa, the Papa of the company, founder, CEO, whatever you, whatever. He raises comments on a conference call, apparently said the N-word. He's got some stuff. He's got some stuff.

Dude, he's definitely got some stuff, man. First of all, if you're going to use the N-word, probably not on a conference call. Maybe just whisper it at night. You know, maybe in your basement at 3 AM. That'd be ideal if you want to hide. You know? Not on a conference call that's probably like recorded or whatever, or just, you know, you know.

Papa John has joined the call. Hey, you guys ready? Get ready, because I've had a real fucking day. God damn it. What's wrong, Papa? What's wrong, Papa? I wonder if people called him Papa, like around the office. Hey, Papa.

That'd be awful, dude. My children. Yeah, there's probably some weird stuff there. But yeah, he said the N-word, and they made him step down. There was some other shit he did, but... Did he have to keep his name, though? His name is still Papa John, I guess. His name is John, and he's the Papa.

I don't know, his last name is like Shanker, or some shit. He looks like a crooked college basketball coach. Yeah. He looks like a ref that bets on the games. Yeah, he does. No, yeah, so he had to step down a couple of years ago, and he's been mad ever since. Yeah. You know, whatever.

And recently he came out. He also feels like he's been duped, okay? He thinks that. He's like, I said the N-word, but I said it, uh... Oh, I said it with an A on it? No, he said it. Is that what he said? No, that's a classic white person thing.

I said it with an A. I got a black friend. You guys get to say it, but we don't. I got black friends, they don't get it. It's like, how can I be racist? I got black friends. Come on! It's like the guy that works at PC Richers that knows you by name, it's not your friend.

He's on my softball team. Why? He works in the firehouse. I'm fucking... He knows I'm kidding. He knows I'm kidding. He's a great one. But yeah, so he had to step down, and he's been pissed ever since, and he did an interview

recently. A sit-down interview with Papa John. He's usually standing up. He's always wearing red, too, man. Listen, Papa John, I get it, man. If you're going to make these pizzas and always wear red and just like always wearing that like chef outfit, I've never seen him in any other clothes ever. He's just blood, that's why.

Yeah, probably. But they've probably just owned him by this point. If you're going to make these pizzas, you can't say the N-word, okay? If you're going to make pizzas, you've got to drop the N-word act. You've got to go do that with a different job or something. I know pizza from movies like Spike Lee's Do The Right Thing. I know they have some racist attachment to the Italian establishment. And pizza, I get that, but we're in a new era, John.

New era of pizza. Not to mention like... We're in a non-racist era of pizza here. Yeah, we're trying to have a racist amount of pizza. We want pizza to bring people together. We want racism out, and we want stuff crossed back in. Yeah, come on, John. Feel that crust with something.

But yeah, so he's been noticing that the pizzas aren't as good, he says. His quote is, I've had over 40 pizzas in the last 30 days, and it's not the same pizza. It's not the same product. It just doesn't taste as good. Wait a minute. 40 pizzas, pop? Oh my, this guy is a fat bitch now, man. That is a lot of pizza.

That's a ton of pizza. That's depression. That's not testing. Yeah, this is a... That's depression. Just like, hey, John, how about you just take some time off, all right? How do you go to pizza rehab? 40 over 40 pizzas in 30 days?

That's a pizza a day. How are you alive? It's like 1.2 pizzas a day. I was going to say 40 and 30 is more than one, but you got it. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I got the science. The thing about Papa John's, and I'm going to have a hot take here, I'm not a Papa John's

pizza fan. No, I'm not a Papa John's person fan either. Better ingredients, better pizza, white supremacy. That's a fucking guy. Oh man, hope so. I just want to clip that. Just that last part. Yeah.

New merch coming out. No, but yeah, so the fuck was I saying? No, no, no. I'm a Domino's dog. See, I was a big Papa guy, man. Really? I was a Papa guy. They got Papas around here?

They got everything around here. Yeah, sure. You know, they got Domino's. Yeah, fucking. What's that other one? The bullshit one? It just looks like they dipped it in, oh, Little Caesars. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Little Caesars. Little Caesars. Little Caesars. Little Caesars. Little Caesars. Little Caesars pizza is made of the box it comes in. Oh yeah. It's cardboard.

Cardboard. It's cardboard with cheese on it, and it's soaked in grease, which I don't have a problem with. If I'm going to get one of these pizzas, clearly I'm trying to block one of these arteries. Yeah, clog it up. Yeah. I was a Papa John's guy for so long because they would have crazy deals. It's like if the Yankees score three runs, like you'll get $10, $20 off.

I'm like, fucking give me nine pies of Papa. You know what I mean? Or if the Rangers win, you get whatever. It's not better. Hit your bet. Spend that money right on the Papa John's. It's true, but it's not better. And they call it, you know how disgusting Papa John's is?

They have this fucking thing, and then they made a VIP section for this sauce that's just grease. They call it garlic butter sauce, but it's not. It's just grease that they've collected from the oven. In its own corner, it's roped off, and you dip your pizza in it like a fat piece of shit, and you just let it spill over your face, and it's amazing. That sounds fantastic. Yeah.

I'll tell you what, though. They have a cheesy bread that sucks this pink ass. I'm telling you, Domino's is better, though. Domino's has better of those things. Sinistix? Yeah. Yeah. Sinistix is like a crazy thing.

They're unreal. Yeah. That was too many strikes, and your hand was too firm. Put your mask on. It'll help. Okay. See? I feel better.

All right. No, but yeah. Just be careful, because you might have to re-sterilize. Sinistix are just unbelievable. Otherworldly. You dip them into that frosting, and then as the dips go on, there's more of the cinnamon in the frosting, so it becomes even better. Now you're getting double cinnamon frosting, and then you're just eating it up, and then

the cheesy bread, too, is very good there. The cheesy bread's so good. You could do the marinara or the... Oh, the marinara! And they have their garlic sauce as well. I have no... I don't know about that. I'll try it.

I will get a medium pepperoni and bacon pizza. Oh, my God. Dude, I... It is so good, and I'll get ranch, and I'll just swirl it around the top, and I'll eat that at 3 o'clock in the morning when I know everyone is asleep. Yeah, dude. I used to get pepperoni... Medium pepperoni pies from Domino's, and just molested, dude.

Yeah, they were the worst. And just fucking... It was... Oh, this is terrible. Nothing is better. I hate when people are like, should we get cheesy bread? I'm like, shut the... Yeah, dude.

Yeah, you fucking... The fucking talking about it. There's two things you never order from a pizza place. One is buffalo wings. Stop it. They're terrible. And salad. If you want a salad with a full tomato just placed on top of it, go get a salad from

a fucking pizza place. A salad from a pizza place? 750 sliced olives, pieces of lettuce, like this fucking hard and crunchy. Dude, what the f... A salad from a pizza place. Let me get a chicken Caesar salad. I'm like, dude. What?

Get this out of here. Go somewhere else, dude. Yeah, yeah. What the fuck order salad at fucking Papa John's? A pizza... Oh, I put my mask on. Yeah? A pizza place salad is disgusting.

Yeah, dude. That's fucking gross. Like, I'll take a... The only thing besides pizza that I'll order is some kind of like... Chicken roll. Or like a chicken parm. Or like a chicken roll? Or a chicken parm hero?

Yeah, chicken rolls are so good. Five bucks. Dude, if I... If my... If I was capable, I could take a whole chicken parm and jam it in my ass. Oh, yeah. Yeah. If I could taste it.

Imagine you had taste buzz in your ass. And you could actually... And it made things better? I would start shoving like fucking... Give me that belly out of my... I'd get shoved in those ass because I'm trying to get the full taste. Yeah. If I had taste buds in my ass and it made things taste better, I'm sitting on every one of

my favorite foods, dude. Pizzas are going in here. Chicken parm heroes. Fold them up. Shovel them in. I'm trying to taste it. We're in a meeting. You're just like, all right, guys.

So... Lunchtime. It's lunchtime. It's lunchtime. Just jamming lunch in the desk again, huh? Yeah, me too. Yeah. Gotta have your greens and shove them broccoli in my ass.

That'd be fire, dude. Because you could... You could absorb things through your ass. They're suppositories. It goes right to your bloodstream. Yeah. So you tell me if I shoved a carrot in my ass, I would get healthier faster. Probably.

That's why people boof. Drugs. Boof? Yeah, it's called boofing. It's like you'll lay on your back and someone will blow cocaine into your asshole. Damn. You're fucking nuts if you do that. Yeah, yeah.

Go blow it into your... Wait, like via straw? Yeah, via straw to go... Like a blow dart? Yeah, and then blow cocaine in your ass. Dude. Listen. If anyone's ever been boofed, please reach out to me.

Please. So that I can scream in your face. And just let you know. You got a problem. Yeah. If you're taking coke up the butt. If you can't just like... Yeah.

It's like, yo, the nose isn't enough. And then you have... Also, I want to meet your boy. Like, did you pay him? Or is it on the house? Because you guys have known each other since second grade. And he's like, yeah, dude, I'll fucking shoot this blow into your a. Or if you're like a drug dealer, but he doesn't know if you're a cop or not.

He's like, I want to see you do a piece. I want to see you do a bit. I'm going to boof it into you. Take your pants off. I'm going to boof this into your ass. Yeah. You're a police. You're a cop if you don't let me boof this into your ass.

I'm not a cop. You're lucky I douche today. I don't got a why on. There you go. Look at my asshole. Check. Check it for why. Why is...

Where did... What happened to this episode? I don't know. I don't know. I have a feeling this is going to be one of... It's one of my favorite episodes. Yeah. We love these ones.

We love these ones. I've been sick and we came in here and we were just like, you know what? Let's talk a little bit about Papa John's. But other than that, we were just like, let's just turn the camera on. Yeah. That's what happened. Oh, man. And now we got to boofing.

I thought boofing was just like a little fart. I thought boofing was like a dunk, like a big dunk. Boofed it? Like I boofed it on him. No, I thought it was just like, you know, a little fart. It's like a little boof. Boof. You know what I mean?

I'm telling you, man. Like a dog fart. Like a boof. Boof. Like you just boof? Yeah. Who boofed? I don't want to come off weird.

I can't wait for this. But is it gayer to boof your friend or be boofed by your friend? Oh, man. Boofing your friend. It's gayer. Because you're staring down the barrel of a gun into that air. You can see into his ass. And for a split second, your air supply is directly connected to his asshole.

His colon air is being shot down your throat. Yes. And you're trying to do it as best as you can, blow this into your friends and ooze. Yeah. And yeah, I think it's gay or blow. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, people who just want to have a really good time, I guess, are like, yeah, I'll do

cocaine in my ass or whatever. First of all, you can't just get one of those, like, long straws that's like, and blow your own ass. Blow your own ass, dude. With the hat. You can get like one of those straw hats. Like, you can blow it right into your fucking asshole. It's like it goes down.

It looks like a Hot Wheels track. Oh, my God. Yeah. Finally. I'm feeling it. I can feel the dust. I can feel it. My whole asshole's numb after that.

Yeah, man. Yeah, that should probably numbs the shit out of your ass. Yeah. It's dangerous, man. I don't know. No one boof. Don't boof. Yeah.

It's too crazy. It's also just a weird conversation to have with another person. Hey, man, I need you to do something for me. What's that? No, I just, you know, I'm trying to, you know, like I do a lot of cocaine. Yeah. Yeah. So I heard there's a way to make it even better and I'd like to try it.

It sounds cool, right? All right. We're going to smoke it? No, no, no, no. We had, like, so I bought a couple straws. All right. And then I put one inside the other to make one big long straw. Okay.

And then we're just going to feed the cocaine in the top of, you know, one end and like block it with the other so we can kind of like pack it on one side. Okay. And then I need you to like put that in your mouth. Right. And then I'm going to get on my back naked and I'm going to throw my legs over my head and you're just going to blow it into my asshole. Okay.

Let's do it. That's how that happened. I like to think that there'd be more resistance on your side. I like to think that. Yeah. There would be some, but if you really wanted me to do it to you, I'd boof you. Why not? I'm a team player.

I'd throw some boof at you. I'd throw some boof in you. I don't have a problem with that. No problem boofing you. Really? Yeah. Listen, you're trying to have a good time as long as you're being responsible. And it's not a lot of Coach Shnaina.

I don't, I don't think that's a really a responsible way to do it. I don't know. Boofing? Yeah. It's the old, it's the old nose for your boy. Is there any other way to take cocaine? Yeah. You could shoot it.

Jesus. Yeah. Smoke it. What do you think the, the, the tears are? Of like shit, like how bad are the worst drugs? No, no, no. If you're shooting anything, it's bad. No, yeah.

But I do think it's worse to boof or to shoot? To shoot for sure. For your health. But I'm saying just as a purse. To shoot. Really? Yeah. I think shooting anything is just like, dude, like you're going out of your way to like

hit a vein. Yeah. And it's like, you're strapping up and like liquidize and shit and burning it and clean shooting, sharing syringes and shit. Yeah. It's just a fucking science project to get high. God damn it. Yeah.

Yeah. I think I'm going to be honest with you. I just boofed. I boofed. I did. I boofed. I just boofed on the show. That's fine.

You could boof whenever you want. Papa John. I think those seltzers, it makes me bubbly. I mean, start fighting. Well, you know, you got to get it all out because the day of reckoning is coming with Papa John. Oh yeah. That was another thing he said.

Yeah. He said the day of reckoning will come. I was like, is this guy fucking Jesus? Is he Jesus? With Papa John's resurrection? Oh, that fucking fragrance is getting to your head, Papa. Oh, the day of reckoning will come. That's what he said.

The day of reckoning will come because he thinks that they're. You're talking about pizza. We're talking about pizza. And we're not even talking about like actual pizza here. It's true. We're talking about boot like pizza. Yeah. It's fake pizza.

Pizza. Do you think him and Peyton Manning ever said it to each other? The N word? Yeah. I don't, I don't, I don't know. Maybe. Because you got to think him and Papa John pretty close. They were probably on a couple of conference calls together.

I will say that guy's pretty old and he also just let it go. Lucy Goosey on a, on a conference call. Not the first time you said it. That's what I'm saying. If you're saying it on conference calls, you're saying it elsewhere. Yeah. It's not the first time you said it and it's not the 80th time you said it either. Okay.

That week. Yeah. It's more. Yeah. So you let them fly. So, you know, you got to figure that maybe Peyton Manning joined in on the fun one time. Every once in a while. Right after the Super Bowl.

Yeah. Arm and arm. Arm and arm. Yeah. Throwing in words back and forth. Jesus. Peyton throws them. Someone's got to catch them.

We talked about that on the show. Peyton Manning, T-Bag, that trainer. Yeah. She did. Sat on her face. Fucked up. That's crazy, dude. I wouldn't do that to someone that I was like super comfortable with.

Yeah, dude. I wouldn't even do that to my fucking fiance. I have zero people in my life that I would like sit on their face and then be like. And ball drape them. Yeah. Rub your nuts on their face like a dog with an itchy ass. Yo, the world is so weird. Are you going to see the Michael Jackson biopic biopic biopic?

Am I allowed to? I don't know. That's what I was thinking too. Is it a good Michael Jackson or the bad Michael Jackson? I just hope it's not one of those bio biopics biopics. Whatever. A school of documentary. Yeah, one of those things that like forgets about all that other stuff.

It's a nice one? I don't know. I just saw one video of them filming it and he was running down the street. That was all I saw. From police? No, just like I don't know. Just being a runny Michael. I've never seen Michael Jackson run.

He's got a good form or he runs weird. You ever see some of your favorite people run and you're like what the hell are they doing? Yeah, people running. It's weird how people can have ugly runs. It just looks like they've never done it and you're like dude, Jesus, be an athlete. Like these ones? Yeah. I've got who it was but I saw someone run.

Someone I follow on Instagram and they were running and I was like this person has no idea what they're doing up there. You only follow like 300 people so they're gonna figure it out. Hey man, it could be anybody. I'm gonna go through it tonight and I'm gonna be like this, this, this, this. Don't tell me. I'm not gonna tell you. I wanna guess it. It's a nice little Easter egg for you.

You know what I'm saying? Be honest. Yeah. That's your phone I think. Oh. Yep. Yep. Hey, can we make some technology where a phone doesn't make a microphone go like ridiculous?

Yeah, I know because look at this. You hear that? That's my phone when you put it on the things. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Technology? Give me a break. Disgusting.

Fucking millennials. God. Pieces of shit. Back in my day movies caused a nickel. Did you rewind movies? Never. Never. Be kind, rewind?

Never. Suck my ass. I never rewound. Is that right? I don't know. I never did that shit. No, me neither. I had the same thing, bro.

We would go to Blockbuster. We'd pick out a movie. That would take an hour because it's like, hey, do you have any copies? Let me go check the back. Of course they don't. And then you have to find some other like off-brand movie that you wanted to buy. You grab the cookie dough bites because obviously. And then you go up to the counter and you get the movie and you don't bring it back ever.

Yeah, you keep it forever. Forever. Because then you would go back and then you would have those late charges. Yeah. And it was like a dollar a day and I was like, that's great. I'm keeping this. This is coming home with me. This thing's going to be worth $700.

Renting video games? No. I just bought that. Yeah. I stole that, sir, for $5. Exactly. You sold it to me. And also you were supposed to rewind for Blockbuster back in the day.

Yeah. Do your fucking job, though. I got to rewind this shit? Yeah. I got responsible for this. It's like, listen, if I borrowed it from you and there was no currency exchanged, maybe. Maybe I'll rewind it. Also it doesn't take a lot of heft for just to hit the rewind thing.

Yeah. You guys got machines for that shit. VCRs. Well, they had rewind machines. I used to watch a guy do it. Oh, you just put it in and it's like. Yeah. That always reminds me of that scene from fucking basement turrets.

Let's see that one on instant replay. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know what's crazy, too? They had metal detectors in and out of Blockbuster. Oh, yeah. That's hilarious. Yeah.

Not for guns. For stealing. For stealing movies. Little did they know, I literally paid to steal it. Yeah. That's the smartest robbery of all time. Just did. That's what I did.

It sounds weird when people steal stuff and they'll pay for one thing but steal something else. Just steal everything. Think about this, though. If I went to Blockbuster and I rented a movie, it could be the best movie of all time. And I pay cash. I never bring it back. How are you going to get it?

What account are you going to charge? Yeah. Or like a library. I can beat up all the old women that live here. They probably do live there. The librarians, they live there. Yeah, they do. And they're all dusty.

So it's like, are you going to come to my house and knock on my door and try to get it? I dare you. I dare you. For my cold, dead hands. You're going to have to get this fucking copy of the alchemist for me. Good luck, Barbara. Yeah. You better bring your aid game.

It only sucks when you go back there and try to get something like, oh, you have a book out. You can't have it. Yeah. System. I haven't been to the library in fucking maybe never. I went to the library one time when I first moved to New York to get a library card. Haven't been back since.

Why'd you get a library card? Because I wanted to start reading. I do audible now though. This was like five years ago. Yeah, I'll be dead ass. I've read one book in the last three years. Really? Yeah.

How many books have I read? And it was this year. It's not a lot. I've read, I think I read two books this whole year, but then I think I read two of the year before. So four books in two years. You would like audible though. I use audible.

Yeah, it's awesome. I don't want to give any free ads out of this bitch though. No, I think we do have audible as a part. Do we? All right. I don't know. I don't know. Okay, all right.

We might though. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's cool. It's cool. It's all right. It's all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it might be really cool one day. I physically can't read a book though. I can't. I don't see it. I don't understand how that's fucking calm someone down or brings them peace or something that they enjoy. I can't. Yeah.

I don't get it. I don't understand it. I don't want to be a part of it. I want to listen to it. Someone tell me a story, story time every night in my bed. True. Yeah. Yeah.

Come on, dude. They're fucking flipping. If you lose your page, you got to remember, get the fuck at it. That's why they make bookmarks. Yeah. Or you fold the page. You dumb bitch. Come on, man.

I'm almost 40. You're not even close to 40. I'm almost 40. I'm over halfway to 60. You're over there. How did I do that? Listen, you're going to have to start showing me your respect because I'm a model now. All right.

You're not a model yet, bud. I think I am, dude. No, no, you put yourself out there. You got a premium Snapchat maybe, but you're not a model. All right. If I get picked up by any of these agencies, I will do anything for that to happen. Dude, I applied to three agencies. Yeah.

And I applied to their plus size divisions. If I get in, I will be at every single one of your shows. Look at them go and look at them walk. Look at that big boy dance and talk. That fucking fashion show song is some weird white woman just talk talking. Look at that. Watch them bounce. Look at the shake every bit and ounce.

Danny, Danny, walk the row. Look at you. Now watch them go. Why? I get some real music in there. Why? Why is everything just like this? You want to be friends?

You want to be like nasty? You want to just dance? I'm like, what are you talking about? I'm trying to walk here. Oh my God. I want to just see. I just want to see a friend walk down the aisle. I don't want to get asked all these questions.

I'm trying to see what the next spring line is. Is this like a survey I'm taking in here? Do you want to dance? Do you want to party? Do you want to be nasty? I just want to sit here and support my friend on the runway. I'm like, dude, yeah, that's all I want to do. All right.

This is a weird European survey. Okay? Oh my God. All right. I didn't come here to answer questions. I came to look at people. Waste skinnier than me walk around. Those songs always end.

It never goes well. No. It's like, you want to dance? You want to party? That's a setup. And then right before the drop, it's like, well, you can't. It's like, damn, dude, fuck. I can party all that up to shoot me down.

God damn. You want to just dance? Yeah, yeah. You want to be nasty? But guess what? No thanks. Yeah. I'm just like, oh, all right.

I'm like, oh, shit, man. That's fucked up. You got me here. The modeling world is fucking crazy, man, because it's really mean. You know, they tell all those girls they got to lose a lot of weight, and then they play these songs. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

And they're like, you know, they build you out and it sounds like a cool song. And then they go, but fuck you. And then the beat drops. You're fucking gross. You dirty whore. Just walk around and walk the floor, floor, floor, floor. Feel the guns. You dirty bitch.

You're too fat. And you won't be rich. Just walk. I'm like, dude, man, they got these people surrounded by all levels on this motherfucker. Shit hurt. I just want to see my fucking fat friend walk around for an hour, man. And come here for all that shit. I came here for the pants.

I came here for the pants. I left with no self-esteem. God damn, dude. This is going on next year's census. This is fucking crazy, man. Give me a social security number. Now dance. What is this episode?

I don't know. Infused by Nyquil for sure. Yeah, probs, probs, probs. Sponsored by fucking all kinds of flu medications. Man, this is, this is, I had a lot of fun doing this. Yeah, dude. I had a lot of fun today too. I said I'm not going to remember any of it.

His bodily shit is hilarious. It's every show is like that, man. This is some European white woman talking to you with a gap, with a gap tooth and weird short hair. And she's, it's like green. She's wearing like, like. You don't know who that is. I'm like, no, I don't know who this fucking weird question asking tall, skinny wizard is. Her name sounds like a, like a beetle.

That's beyond. That's bitchy. I'm like, I don't give a fuck who that is. You scaring me. Stop telling her. Stop asking me questions. Do you want to be nasty? I'm sorry.

I'm not familiar with the UK like trance music. Fuck. Oh God. It's funny because it's true. We might have talked about more things on this episode. Then I think we've talked about the entire calendar. And we didn't play for you. You know.

Oh, Bjorn Bjorn. That's Bjorn. You idiot. It's bitchy. I'm like, oh, shut the fuck up. Tell her to stop. Fuck who produced this track though. Shit is clean.

Look at her walk that dirty select spit on her watching turns around. That would be art to someone. Like, oh, the models come out and you spit on them. It's art. Disrespect demean them. Look at her. She's a blonde whore. Look at her.

Don't look no more. More, more, more, more. Oh my gosh. She stopped. I will. Nasty. Nasty. Oh, guys.

Poof cocaine into your ass. Do it quick. It doesn't last, last, last, last. They love echoing out that last word. Yeah. And that turns into the beat. Dude, hold on. Did you remember?

I posted on my story once. I was in a Hooper. And this guy was playing a song and it said. And the song kept going. Apparently it's a popular song. Bear me at the club. Bear me at the club. What?

Bear me at the club. And then it's, it was, the other line was even funnier. But I just don't remember. Bear me at the club. I feel like I've heard that one. You probably have. Bear me at the club. I know Skrillex had a song called like 9-1-1.

It's like, now you die, you bitch. Bear me at the club lyrics. Bear me at the club. Yeah, yeah. Bear me at the club. And then it says. The song. I'm in an Hooper.

And it's literally going. Bear me at the club. Bear me at the club. Oh, wow. It's like, you know, like it's getting like. It's expanded. A technology vacuum. It's like.

And you're like, bear me at the club. And then it builds up to that point. And then there's no beat. And it goes. Put me in a grave and bear me. And the worst part about it is millions of people probably love that song. Put me in a grave. And bear me at the club.

Dude, so I was like, literally like, yo, someone bury this bitch at the club. Man, she's being nice about it. Oh my gosh. I'm delirious. Yeah, me too, man. Oh my gosh. Bear me at the club. Put me in a grave and bear me at the club, dude.

What a crazy bit. That's one of those songs, man. Yeah. European people are so weird. Yeah. Crazy. Crazy. Those people party different.

Those people are fucking wild. Yeah, dude. I feel like everything's crazier over there. Like how is Amsterdam a real place? I don't know how that's allowed, man. There's women in windows. Yeah. No one's like.

Smoke weed. Everyone's cool with that too. Yeah. It's like. They got little objectifying women. I'll go windex that window so everyone can see her. Clean up Chantel's window now. God damn it.

Windex it so you can see her better. Oh man. I think we should stop. It's not like we were having sex and you just weren't sure about it. Oh, bear me at the club. I think we should stop. I've never done this before. You sure?

You sure? Yeah, I'm not comfortable. God damn it. Oh my God. Jesus. Watch out. Big dog's going down. Yeah.

Anyway, Danny. You can find me at danielpure on Twitter and Instagram. That's it. Now wait. Stank podcast at the Stank podcast on Instagram and on YouTube. Had a little special cameo from Joe's mom, which was super cute. Yes. You can find me at www.stankpodcast.com.

You can find me at www.stankpodcast.com. You can find me at www.stankpodcast.com. A new video from Joe's mom, which was super cute. And you want to hear about your favorite movies and TV shows, come check us out. Hi, Frankie. You guys can follow the show at the Basement Yard on Instagram. Go follow At Santa Gaga Studios. It's gonna be like a hub for all this stuff and also like, it'll get an idea of what it's

like to be around here on a day to day basis. Also, just bear me at the club. I mean, where else do you want to get buried to perform. I want to get buried, you know, I know my grandma's you know looking down from heaven right now She's probably regretting that you know, we put her in a nice castle. She wanted to be buried at the club probably anyway, I Think we should stop I think we should stop

What's wrong, I'm just not ready I Drunk right yeah, I'm delirious at this point dude, and I have to take more medicine. It's just dope go go Yeah, Danny's got a poppy spill. So we gotta get out of here. Hey, where's my mask? But yeah, go check out other people's lives at OPL podcast on Instagram And that is all see you guys next time