The Basement Yard - #220 - Go Bang Your Head Against The Wall

Episode Date: December 16, 2019

On this episode, we discuss an 18,000 year old frozen dog, Amazon selling holocaust Christmas ornaments & therapy. Wild ride, enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh Welcome back to the base. I like that. Oh nice. You like that. Yeah. Yeah, I think I don't know what it is I just you know, you're glowing today. You're very yeah, you're very hot I don't know man coming off of the boxing. I just got more energy now Yeah, you look you look you look very happy your eyes are fucking shine Just I feel like the sweater is good with my skin tone. Also. Yeah, you got a firing on all cylinders at the moment Yeah, this is gonna end tomorrow though. Yeah, probably probably. I mean, I you know, I'll put on a different sweater It would be a different day. It's over happiness for you only last so long. No, but it's good. I'll savor it

Yeah, yeah, I'll savor it. You're gonna have a great day today. Yeah, I hope I'll open and jinx it probably yeah But you're you look great man. If I was in like in the dudes, I'd cock you down You cock me down. Yeah for sure Really? Yeah No hesitation. No hesitation straight cocked down. I mean you're very cocked down able am I yeah, all right I appreciate that for sure. I'd like to think I'm cocked down able would you cock me down? It's real close. I mean it would take some some work, but I definitely get there eventually Yeah, I mean, it's a mountain you'd be willing to climb though as long as you have enough oxygen the right boots

Yeah, I'm gonna have to I'm gonna have to pack enough water to cock that down. Yeah, you know what I mean? I'm gonna have that right boots gonna have to go into your reserve canteen the battle list We have to check the weather make sure it's not raining. Yeah, I'm gonna have to check my underwear too apparently might have to set up camp for the night Yeah, hey, let's gonna take some time to cock that down But it's a mountain. I'm willing to climb there we go the Instagram picture at the end is worth it. Oh my god. Yeah Anyway, you'll be glowing after to even more than you are now probably see I don't think so. I think I'll be Disgusting and wretched Like Wolverine

You say Wolverine, what is it Wolverine wool? I thought it's Wolverine You say Wolverine. I say Wolverine. That's a Wolverine. I don't say Wolverine. I say Wolverine. No, Wolverine casin I Said finger. Yeah, you did say Yeah, but no, yeah, I mean you said that like a high-pitched Japanese man Finger I am like two tenths Japanese. No one believes that from my mother's DNA ancestry Yeah, we should tense. We should do that and say strange. No two percent. No, oh, I think you said two tenths No, I'm like Japanese milk two percent. Nice. Yeah, that's dope dude. I'm Japanese milk now. That's a glass

I'd be willing to drink You know milk usually fucks with my body though, so I don't know about that. Yeah, you are pretty lactose I'm super lactose and my body even know like if you just write milk on it on like a glass of water My body will be like oh, we're shit today Like it just knows because like almond milk isn't dairy, but it fucks me up. I haven't tried oat milk That's the only one I'm willing to put my butthole to the test to try that out. You don't like almond milk I love almond milk, but it doesn't agree with me Oh, it doesn't like regular milk is literally like drinking drain out for me

Yeah, so if I have it because I had a lot of milk back in the day I used to be tired from like playing sports all day come home and just chug out of the gallon My mom used to beat me. Yeah for that. I used to love drinking out of the bottle. Oh Loved it. Also. You ever drink milk out of like glass. Yeah, not like a cup like no like a glass like milk man Yeah, the guy would come and drop off outside of your house. What a dumb thing by the way Yeah, oh, we got to order all this milk who orders milk in bulk goes bad. It's a spoils I'm leaving it on your front steps for the cats to come piss on The fuck there was way more straight cats in the 80s every whatever year that was

I think that was more like the 50s. Yeah, I don't know anything. No one brings milk around anymore I just I can't believe I just said the 80s like supermarkets didn't exist 80s also not that long ago, but we are coming to an end of a decade here Whoa, I just did that pop. Yeah. Uh, yeah, we are we are coming. We are We're not I mean 2020. Yeah. Ah, so you could see clearly this year. Hopefully that's what everyone's gonna say I guarantee I'm calling it now It's gonna be a bunch of memes and then I'm gonna get 9 000 dms of people being like see I saw it whatever bubble Time to see clearly. Yeah. Hashtag 2020 vision. I could see this year. It's gonna be my year praying hands

Yeah, that's what's gonna happen. And anyway, that's gonna happen anyway because I just said it and all the time People are stealing our shit on this show. Yeah. Yeah, and put it out making memes all this bullshit We do get we do get swagger jacked a lot on the show. Oh my god, so much Swagger jacking and not enough mollywapping Damn too much swagger jacking and not enough mollywapping. That's what's happening No one knows what that means if they're not from new york. Yeah, you don't know Getting mollywapped is all about But someone says they're gonna mollywap you you got a bounce. We gotta get the fuck out of there. New york slaying is great

We say the dumbest shit makes no sense. Yeah Mollywapped, do you know a jaddy? Do you know what jaddy means jaddy? Yeah. No, it's a fat butt a jaddy. Yeah That sounds very philadelphia. I showed you had the jaddy. I never heard that a fat butt. Got the wagon. I got the wagon wheel, yeah The wagon's great. I love wagon. I used to wagon a lot. Fucking wagon. Damn. Yo, she got the wagon Not not even she has a wagon. She got the wagon. She got the wagon. They're like, there's only one wagon and she has it Yeah, she is in possession. Is it do you think it's crazy how like immediately how drawn you are like by your eyes to just a great fucking set of cheeks I mean it is it is something but like we can't blame that's our instinct to do that, right?

Like as like as straight men like it's just to be like, whoa, I don't know. Wow. Why that's a party. I don't know That's a party. I I honestly don't even know the answer to that You know, like I don't you know Like why do people love titties? But I think it's only because they hide them so much titties and I love but but you know the thing is The thing is though, I feel like when you ever watch one of those national geographic shows And it's like this hut or this village where all the women I thought I thought you just like Fucking hiking or football. I was like, what the

Hut Yeah, I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? No, no, no, it's like a village right and all the women are topless Yes, you can watch that and just be like, oh, yeah, this is fine because it's like normal to them It's not like a thing. They're not being like sexy like and like showcasing their nip and like One of those is something, you know, so when you kind of when it's very normal right then It starts to lose its mystique

But what do you mean like normal like it's it's part of like wow. I want to see like what your titties look like Outside of your clothes is what you're saying that adds to it for us No, I feel like when you mystique we've made two X-Men references already I don't know crossing in the stank territory here. Frank is gonna get mad. He's gonna get really mad. Uh I'm gonna get a text message later. Uh, no, but I think no what I'm trying to say is that when it's normalized Of being like, yeah, we we don't wear shirts We don't believe in like whatever we don't have to hide our breasts or whatever then you like Fucking said breasts. It loses. It's like

I'm like, oh my god You know, but you you put a shirt on them and you put you put some pointy nipples through that shirt You're like, oh my god. I can't look at these nips. You ever see titties in your head tingles Yeah, you get a thing in the back of your head. What is that? I don't know. I don't know man. I feel like I honestly think sometimes I'm like this is the day, right? Yeah, why is that? Back at the head tingle when you get a titty. Yeah, I know. I know exactly what you mean Little little body shake. Yeah Quake quake into my knees. I get I get shakes

On my like upper back like right here and right here. Yeah, you get the little and I have to like Roll it out. Otherwise Yeah, dude, it's weird. Oh Yeah, the best is all yeah, you ever you know when you're peeing and it's like this is the greatest pea Of all history. Oh, yeah, you end up looking like the fucking undertaker to you like, oh Yeah, yeah, you just shake your body like a fish out of water and you're like, oh and then you piss everywhere You shook I don't know if this is a hot take but sometimes that feels just as good as busting a nut I think that's like no, I'm not even kidding. Like I think

I honestly don't know but I think I've heard this before that Those things are sort of equal and sometimes it's better or like, you know, whatever Dude, there's some you know, you've ejaculated. Sometimes it's been like that was all right. Oh, yeah, dude. I've had so many like Okay, ejax like just relatively You're like, oh man, that was for that was for my health. That wasn't even for enjoyment. Yeah Yeah, whatever but those those some peas Like when you're holding a pea really bad and you're like, yo and you call whoever's in your apartment And you're like, yo, can you just like leave the door open because I gotta run up and pee

Make sure no one's in there and then you fly in there and you start It takes a while for the pea to start coming out because it's it's been barricaded by the rest of your body They're holding them like, yo, don't come out yet And then you let it go and then they just like it just feels like it's like slowly creeping out and then once it hits the the pea hole Yeah, yeah, it's beautiful and then you're just shaking because it's feels so good. I love those. I really love peeing is sick Yeah, peeing is so cool peeing is We peeing is

Overlooked and we take it for granted because it's fire. Yeah, pissing is awesome. Yeah piss is fire piss is sick Yeah We don't give piss enough credit. I'm really thinking about peeing. Yo, you get to experience peeing Peeing is fire, dude Like you pee every day and every time that feels good and you feel like I feel like 10 pounds lighter Unless you're peeing fire Then you should go to the dock. You should go to the dock because you get some from a penicillin or something Yeah, yeah, yeah a moxicillin or one of the silents get something some kind of sill in in you

Silicone would even help somehow I think but yeah, but peas dope Love pee I wanted to ask your opinion on these what i'm holding my hand here is the eos chapstick Eos, yeah, they're called eos. I think What is it? Greek? Yeah, yeah, it's eos Um, they twist off like this. They're they they're shaped like an egg. Mm-hmm. And you put it on like this Yeah This is kind of a stupid design

I think they did it on purpose to make it stupid to make it so like what is that an egg? Oh, yeah a talking point. You're always mad business minded But that's the thing about it though because think about uh the one that I use the cocoa butter one It looks like elmer's glue the the coloring is the same Yeah, it's a white tube with orange and blue and black writing with a white background on it whatever That looks exactly like elmer's glue and I think those are talking points. I'm like, yo, what do you what is that glue? It looks like a glue stick. You know what I mean? But I see what you're saying though in terms of that but I feel like this isn't practical to carry around your pocket

I carry around a man purse But I'm just saying like I can't carry this around my pocket. It's gonna look like I'm walking around rocks in my pocket They are like a big bruise or something. Yeah. Yeah, where's that like a knot a contouche a contouche Yeah, exactly a big old contouche remember when you would get big contouches I had a bad one on my shin one time. Oh, isn't it gross? But you rub it constantly. You're like, whoa, this is my body Yeah, I like it I kind of like I got a crazy one. I used to love getting bruises Dude, I love getting like I just started boxing. Yeah, I can't wait to get a black eye

That's what I'm saying. You know what I'm saying like I don't want to get sent to the mat But if I get a black eye Would love that dude black eyes are fucking hot Fire, dude, do you know how many selfies? Are flying out of this guy if I get a black eye? What happened? What who you look so was there a fight? Yeah, you're so rugged and tough a fucking 19 year old named Jordy punched me in my eye. Yeah, and For some reason I used to love having like bruises and cuts as a kid because I thought it made you cool

Yeah, dude, you know what I mean chicks dig scars Shane Falco Shane Falco, man. Shane Falco. Glory loves forever I'm saying like I used to love bruises And and contusions. I didn't really like bruises contusions There was one time I had a football game and I got pushed out of bounds And I had to jump over like because there was a bunch of like bags and shit

So I jumped over that and when I jumped oh, no, no, no, that's not what happened. I'm sorry I got pushed out of bounds on like a kickoff. So I was running fast Yeah, and I got pushed and there was a garbage can so I went to go jump over it But my shin caught it and it was a metal one And I just had this thing in my shin and it was like it didn't bleed, but it looked like white It was just hard hard as shit too, right? I mean it took a while to get there like it looked like it was dented in Oh, yeah, but it wasn't bleeding But it was like purple around it and then it got bigger like the next day. I forgot like weird

I forgot about like shin dents. Yeah shin dents. Yeah, dude. Those were kind of scary. It's like why is my leg just Dented now. Yeah, like I'm pretty sure I should have an injury, but I feel fine It's not bleeding. What's happening. I can see my bone. You know what I never had though two shin splints Oh, I've had those. What does that feel like it feels it's it feels like a long muscle That's what it feels like it feels like a like a pull. Yeah, that's the only way I can describe it like It feels like someone but it feels like worse than a pulled muscle in my opinion Like is it along your shin bone like yes, it's like it's like this It's like I literally I get them. Yeah, get those feet up here from here

Like right there. Um I never really ran long distances. I only did like well, I didn't get them from long distances I think I just got them because if you're if you're like I don't know if you don't run a lot and then you start running Your your body needs to get used to that and your muscles need to get used to that and I think you just need to work through it. That's at least my theory I don't I don't really know the size on it, but I was like I I know that when you work out and you get sore

You have to continue working out. You can't now work out because you're sore, you know You have to the tearing of the micro. Yeah, I mean obviously rest is important in the whole like muscle growth Whatever blah blah blah, but I'm saying like the next time you go work out You're gonna be sore. You have to keep working out and then eventually you get less and less sore Because I would always see people like those weird little rolly things Like rolling their bodies up. Oh, yeah. Yeah, those aren't for shin spots though Those are just for rolling out your muscles that just gets the blood flowing in them better and like You know, there's less of lactic acid build up

Why do I know that eat a banana? Oh, no, no, I don't know right. I don't know anything I I only know what I think I know. You don't remember how like moms would bring like oranges Dude, I for for football. Yeah. Yeah, I brought the oranges And are like, thanks mom in high school at halftime Our coach would pass around a bag of oranges and everyone would eat an orange because it was like an immediate boost of B12 or whatever. I don't know vitamin c That's it

I don't know the difference citrus citrus. Yeah, citri. Yeah, um I think I think if you stick with boxing for a long time You'll probably get as cut as ever I would think so because that that was like the A really fucking that was awesome because like the thing was in a humbling experience. No, it wasn't like humbling Because like endurance wise not because like you got punched in the face. No because I think it's just like anything else like at my core I'm an athlete

So it's like You know What it takes. Yeah, you're like, yeah, it's hard work. It's like, you know, this is part of it You know, and I don't really get discouraged like yes I probably like my footwork is trash because like moving around a boxing ring is like tough Yeah, not that I know anything about it But like moving it around is like tough because you can't just like cross your legs or anything You have to keep a certain distance and your weight and distribute like that all comes from practice

So like being bad at it at first is not discouraging. I'm like, I'm if anything I want more criticism from people Who know what they're talking about So I kept asking that kid like yo Like can you just watch me this round and like tell me what I'm doing wrong because I want to be good at it Yeah, I don't want to fight anybody though. No, no, but it'll make the workouts better if you're doing no Yeah, exactly like because another thing is if you're not throwing Like the only punch that I was throwing that they said I wasn't doing like correctly was a left hook Yeah, because

You have it. It's a very tight Motion it's here. It's like yeah, it's and it's like up. Yeah, you know and like I'm throwing it like I'm in fucking fight night The video game like you know what I'm saying like loan it up um But like that was the only one and but like coming off of like uh A straight cross to a hook that's a lot of movement Yeah in your body and like you're shifting your weight and that was like really hard for me Like I kept like slipping up and I was like getting fucking mad because I'm like how what I was trying to like get it

Yeah, because it's like it's not uh, you're telling your brain you're telling your brain one thing Your body's just doing the other well I grew up playing like football and basketball where it's like, you know You're crossing your legs and you're like juking and shit. So it's a different movement So I'm not used to like this kind of staying station not stationary, but you know what I mean, would you ever spar a girl? Yeah, why not just rock or shit, right? I wouldn't know you don't rock anybody and sparring But yeah, I would spar a girl. It's probably what my ass right now. I can't do shit. Were there any girls in there? Yeah, good. I want you to fight one next time. You should let her fucking smoke. There was no girls in rings

There was ones like on the bags or whatever I'm convinced everyone there. You kick the fucking shit out of me right now. So you can do time. Yeah, you can do time I have a good like jab Caught this kid with a jab Snap the snap them back a little bit stiff old jab too. So you know you can start beating people in the office now No, yeah, probably cracking the whip a little bit. I'm trying to intimidate us come in with your wraps still on snap snap My wraps still on what's up with that video? We done with that or what's going on? Are you gonna get more and more wrapping up as this company grows and grows you're gonna get more and more serious?

Serious Joe Well, I don't think so You don't think so I don't think so because I'll be able to not because I hopefully I could hire people that are smarter That's smarter than me and they could do serious stuff and I could still be an asshole. Good. I don't want to be Serious Joe. No CEO Joe It sounds like a Harry Potter like you're gonna have so many nicknames I think I give you a new nickname every day serious show CEO Joe boxer Joe boxer Joe

There's so many. Do you know what I mean? Just how it is Joe Frazier um but Yeah, it's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun. See it's tough though because they have like a it's like three minute rounds Um, like there's a bell that goes off in the place It's like three minute rounds the first bell is the start of the round Next bell is like 30 seconds left in the round and the last bell is like, okay a round over and then you get a minute Until the next bell. Oh not enough time. Yeah, not enough time for me. I need at least 35 minutes. Luckily. I've been uh

Doing a lot of cardio. So I had some but I was not in boxing shape by any means. Um so We were there for probably an hour and a half for our 45 minutes And I think I only took off like two or three rounds And I was dead. Yeah, that sounds awful. Yeah before I left I tried to do two rounds in a row just like sparring We couldn't it's mouth open. Do you have mouthpiece in? No, let's not tell anyone who works there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we'll fix that in post for sure But yeah, I have to I have to get one because they have rules obviously

You can't go in there without the guard that goes around your waist Guard that cock Get a guard your cock and you have to wear the head the headpiece and you have to wear a mouth guard guard your head cock Yeah, your head cock. Yeah, exactly Well, it's good that you picked up a physical hobby around the holidays because the thing is it's all about eating Yeah, it's all about eating getting fat right now. I'm trying to get ahead of it and not being like I'm gonna start january one. Yeah, I'd rather just you know, I'll take december to fucking And you know, honestly, I like I at max I'm gonna do it like three days a week unless I really start like whatever

Becoming a fucking psycho. Yeah, like if I get really good and I'm like, oh, wait a minute Yeah, just don't get like cte or anything coming here and like no, dude. I have no fire everybody in the same day I have no interest in coming in and like Getting rocked by people. No, you don't need to do that. Protect that nose Strictly for a workout and it's fun to like spar and like hit each other like we were hitting each other yesterday But we weren't fucking tea and off and also if you hit someone like clean Then we like stop for a second. Yeah, you know like in the head Like you hit them in the stomach, whatever tea off on them

But if you like Rock them in the face Then we'll be like you will take a second and be like, you know, gather yourself Dap it up a little bit. Yeah, just like gather yourself because I'm not gonna You know, because if you hit someone in the head and they're a little off-balance and you continue to hit them They're gonna go down. Not gonna try to put anyone on the mat or anything. Yeah, so, you know I'm a cool with getting punched in the face, but like not just when you couldn't get any hotter No, but uh, yeah, man, I don't know. It's I feel you come one time. I'll come one time, but I'm taking my fucking

Damn time. Yeah, I'll tell you that. I'll tell you what you better suck that inhaler. Oh, yeah Yeah, no, but I I know how to throw my shit Through when I was a kid when I could actually move around. I believe you but um Yeah, I would love to come in there. Just not around the holidays, dude. It's too much. I haven't even started fucking shopping yet I haven't done any of that shit. I haven't done any fucking. I haven't bought one fucking Christmas gift I know a lot of people like this, but I haven't even thought about that's the thing. I was gonna say I haven't even thought about what I'm gonna get anybody It's bad and it's December

Third right now. Yeah a lot of Walgreens gifts coming out coming out the box Yeah, yeah a lot of pickup on the way to the party gifts That's what's gonna happen target the day before like what can I get the store has everything? I think money is always a good gift people like money. I never give money Never I've never done that. Well, you don't really have a lot of kids in your family if any So like I have like nieces and nephews, so I just throw the money Tell me get the fuck our family has never done that like no one gives money at all. No, no, I don't get money on my birthday I don't get money on any holiday. It's never been like that. I mean you're a baby and you write like my cousin's

Uh, my cousin just had a birthday party for his one-year-old. I've got to say a baby can write Tell me more like About this writing baby my cousin's My cousin's a one-year-old like for their birthday. We'll write checks and they'll put it in like their account for like college or something You know, okay. Yeah for a fucking rent. Yeah. Yeah, but Other than that once you get to a certain age, it's like you get gifts. You don't get any money Yeah, I think I stopped getting money around 22 21

Dude, I stopped getting money when I was like fucking seven now It's like gift cards like I get gift cards for stuff I hate those too. Yeah, like, you know, it's it's Unless there was a gift card that you can continue to add to that's good invention. I think there are those though I think it's like every gift card ever No, no, no what I'm saying like you have a gift card Right, but then if you get a different gift card because like I hate this like you have $50 to Barnes & Noble It's like I have to go here now. Oh to transfer it. You're saying. Yeah, just be like everything could just add onto this one card

It's like, oh, I got $350 over the Uh, the holiday season. I want to transfer one card right transfer. It's like a master card gift card Yeah, or if it is Barnes & Nobles, you could just get one gift card where it all goes on there So you don't have to carry around 50 fucking cards What kind of a fucking nerd would you have to be to to get a 350 dollar gift card to Barnes & Noble and fucking loser? Go outside Sure, Greg would love that. Oh, yeah, he would he would love he loves books Books are great. Go read it outside. I met up with Greg

At a coffee shop in Dumbo. Yeah on a Sunday like seven in the morning. What is wrong with you? I was up and I was like and I was like, yo I wanted to go do something for work But none of the stores were open yet. Yeah, and I was like already hyped off the fact that he was like, yeah Sure, I'll go with you and I was like, all right, cool. Like I'm coming And then we realized that the stores are closed and they're not open yet So I was like, uh, I was like, but I still want to hang out. So can I just come anyway? He's like, yeah I'm at a coffee shop coffee shops awesome

It's a big ass place like way too big for what it is But is it like a work like everyone goes there and works? That's the thing. There wasn't a lot of people See, I hate I hate when people do that though when we went to that bagel place every table had somewhere to laptop Get out of there. No wi-fi go work somewhere else. No personal wi-fi You're an adult in a bagel shop at like 11 o'clock during the week. Go use your own computer I get there were no seats in there. Yeah, there wasn't but and it wasn't even them I don't even think it was the morning when we went like it was it was like noon Ish and it's like this late. It was post coffee. That's an office is what it is

That's a fucking coffee shops are a we work now. That's usually what they are They're running businesses out of it. Do they have like any rules and regulations? I do get the fuck out of here You have to buy one fucking small coffee. You can stay there for nine hours. Yeah, I was homeless. I just do that But you need a laptop there homeless guy. Yeah, I figured I'll finagle my way to get one. I might just make one out of cardboard You get a lot of work done on that. Yeah No, but I get doing my resume if I was a coffee person, right? Which I I think I might try to start doing that because now I'm a wine person I never was coffee joe. It's all happening coffee joe. I don't like caffeine

Though so do decaf well, I don't like coffee that like if I'm gonna do coffee But that's the thing like the taste of coffee is awesome. I couldn't and you didn't get me a decaf coffee today By the way, I totally forgot to be honest with you right till now. I'm sorry so far. I apologize deeply. Um But I Don't think I'll ever become one of those people that has a cup of coffee every single morning I don't even know if I'll like coffee moving forward. Let's just get out of the way, but So I liked this coffee shop so much that I met Greg at Because they have like these cool

Like it's fucking Dumbo Brooklyn. So everything's like hipster and cool. Yeah, like blah blah, but it's a big It looks like a fucking warehouse. It's huge. They make their coffee out of like rustic fucking Machines like have like fucking wear and tear on them. Yeah, like they're all stained. Yeah, fucking. Yeah stained copper. Yeah Everything's copper in there. Yeah, and but they have like these couches and like whatever There's a globe on the table. I haven't seen one of those in years Uh, like the fucking the what's that called? I know what a globe is Why did I

It's a fucking globe, bro You know one of those things I like how you spun it too I went like this. I think you had you weren't even sure what it was called. What's that called the thing you spin Sphere sphere. I was gonna go sphere the world sphere That thing I know what a globe is. Do you remember being a kid and spinning it and just being like Here I'm right here spin. Yeah. Oh, I'm right here. I'm gonna go on vacation here one day Yeah, then all the kids would put their finger on Nigeria and be like Yeah, that's true. It's this. Yeah, it's a bad word. Say it. You say the country. I'm not saying it

I'm like, it's Nigeria. You fucking There was always some dumb idiot like yeah, they're like, oh my god, I dare you to say that country. Okay, Nigeria. Yeah, and they're like, whoa Yeah, I remember spinning globes. I do remember globes. Yeah, dude I would spin a globe and then you just put your finger on it and it slowly like slows it down. Yeah, and you're like I'm in the ocean. Yeah Pacific um I have a problem where I say specific instead of pacific

I'll say the specific ocean all the time. Really? Yeah, that's very dumb. I yeah, that's a dumb mouth. You have What about what about what about when you want to say specific? Do you say pacific? No, I say specific But like I think I say specific more than I say pacific. How do you say frustrated frustrated? Okay, because I know people say frustrated frustrated frustrated. What are you a baby? I don't know what that is. You know, it's weird too. Like it's in a letter Like even like how I think I said Wolverine Wolverine, I think I'm right though Because of how it's spelled. Yeah, it's Wolverine

because wolves wolf wolverine Wolverine Wolves you don't say wolves Wolves oh shit speaking of wolves, by the way, did you see the thing about that 18,000 year old dog? They found first of all disgusting Yeah, I yeah Listen, I'm just saying I'm gonna look at it aesthetically

Disgusting disgusting animals. Just so people know there's a story going like viral on twitter right now They found this thing that was in like permafrost. It's like a Dog or wolf or whatever It's like this big. It's like a baby and it's frozen and they said it's 18,000 years old I don't know how you do that. How you figure that out. I mean, there's some computers involved in that I'm just saying 18,000 years old. Well, they look like it was born three months ago But they did like a like a biopsy or some shit and they like found out how old it was or something

But I see you could cut open a tree and count the rings. So who knows how accurate it is. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's true. That's true. So I don't know what a dumb thing that is too count it. How old is this tree? Here's the how about this gives a fuck Water it you think I give a shit how old his tree is as long as it gives me oxygen. I don't care Yeah, what is this? What are we doing? But yeah, also the word permafrost is like kind of five Yeah, dude, that sounds like a dope like dessert. Yeah, it's gonna be like my rap name permafrost Permanently frost. Yeah, so yo, it's good. It's permafrost. You're listening to hot 97 I'm a flex um, but no

So they have like this little dog thing and they said it's 18,000 years old And like it's like this big story and the guy's like holding it and it's like the size of a loaf of bread And it literally is frozen So he could just literally like do this with it if he wanted to and you could see it and like blah blah blah And like I think everyone's ignoring the fact that this is a dead dog That is frozen This is A gross and a sad. Yeah, so why are we like?

I just sound like chrystalia. I just know I did but like it's like Why are we just gonna ignore the fact that this is a dead dog and it's disgusting and gross It's like oh look imagine there's like a little found walled disney's head. Yeah, you know I mean that was a myth that would be cooler though. I would love to see walled disney's head that anti semi Anti semi walled disney. I sprayed his house so many times, you know, it's crazy I actually googled the whole anti semi thing about walled disney because I got interested I was like, you know, I'm kind of you know, I love hearing about you know, people who who are seemingly like amazing Do some like weird shit not to fend apparently that's a myth. No, he was not offended. It's a jew

Is this juice? Oh, this is a jew. I don't neither is amazon apparently too Oh, yeah I'm so glad you brought this. Yeah I mean, I love talking about 18 000 year old dead frozen dogs But all I really wanted to get across was one disgusting gross gross gross get rid of it. Put it back in the ground Yeah, or just like warm it up And see if it comes alive. I don't know if that's how Things work. I would just spray with a hair dryer for a while until it moved

I mean, I think with permafrost you're gonna need more than a hair dryer. You might need a glue gun or something Yeah, we'll figure it out. What is it called? I don't even know a hot gun a hot glue glue guns were the worst because those things would burn the shit out of you remember fuck It's a little good. Yeah. Yeah, the thing we just get super duper hot Uh, but yeah a permafrost dog like if it can't come back to life. Let's just put it back in the ground Let it just be dead for the rest of time. I understand that it's preserved really well

What is humans obsession with old shit? Yeah, just let it go. Oh my god. This is 18 000 years old. Cool. Who? Who cares? Yeah, now if it was like A fucking human Like a fully permafrosted human or like a Dracula. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, or like if you found bigfoot or Dracula or wolverine frozen Put that on twitter. Yeah, but a dog. Yeah, there was dogs that existed. We know that 18 000 years old It was very sad. It died in a blizzard. Maybe the ice age. I don't know what year that was

No one does. I don't think anybody does exactly. Well, we woolly mammoths and shit. They're trying to bring those back Bring them back. You know what put them in zoos. Yes a woolly. Yes They're trying to bring woollies back to the top dogs That would actually be kind of dope because I'd love to ride one, but they're a little dangerous I feel how do you bring something back from the dead? Like you clone it with whatever it's closest genome Uh, so an elephant You would mix an elephant and a woolly mammoth's dna from like there or whatever there and you just do that for 50 years And eventually I guess potentially that's the idea of what they that I remember when I was reading about it

That's how they were saying they would try to crossbreed with an elephant somehow, but And make some kind of not an actual woolly mammoth, but like a knockoff like a canal street woolly mammoth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah some like Bootleg shit some bootleg shit, but yeah the amazon gifts go go. Yo, oh my god amazon Amazon speaking of juice speaking of juice. Yeah Uh, amazon's under a lot of fire right now. Oh big time fire big time fight Because they were selling not they someone If you could buy it on there, I mean it's got the it's got to have the amazon tape on the box

All I'm saying is it got through the necessary channels. Yeah, I don't know how you put stuff on amazon but Someone was selling oschwitz Christmas ornaments, okay Now for those who don't know oschwitz Okay, that's not a russian sausage All right, or a german sausage

oschwitz is The most famous camp I just said famous famous is most famous like concentration camp. It might have been the biggest one I'm not like too sure on that but it was a concentration camp where obviously during the holocaust They killed a bunch of jewish people and they're selling ornaments Of oschwitz so it's basically like a snowflake and it has a picture of like Oh, there was a couple there. There was a couple So like the one I saw was like basically like

The entrance to oschwitz and then I was just like this is on a fucking snowflake Yes, and I really wanted to I know they pulled it since But uh, yeah, you got a picture there Yeah, that's not very welcoming. Also, that's terrifying. This isn't even it's like The holocaust and christmas don't go hand in hand But not only that but if this was a jewish if this wasn't oschwitz, right this sucks. Yeah, who's buying this? It looks like Chernobyl. It's not. Yeah. Yeah, I don't want any part of that

But the thing is like, you know, it's just weird that somebody you know, whoever made that's like, I think it's a good idea I will sell it and they made bottle openers You could drink beer open your beer with oschwitz Do that oschwitz kind of does sound like a beer though wasn't there schlitz I don't know all the german stuff. Yeah, yeah, and then they had this one. That's like a bell or something. They got wait We got What?

What's the matter? You don't like it? What? It's nice. I thought it was nice. I was going to hang on my stufkenheimer Dude, I don't see what's the biggest problems. Yeah, I'll be like I might want to run that one. Historical. It's a historical graph. It's like, yeah, dude That's like selling fucking Christmas ornaments of the towers going down, dude Oh, what are you thinking? Did I say that on Nashville? What you said to that german girl? I don't know but you could say it. Okay. All right. So I don't know if I said this on a natural episode But we were at uh on that rooftop, right? And there was some german girl there

And uh, she was like like actually she was like i'm from germany. Yeah, she was german as shit And I was like, oh cool. You're from germany and then she was like, yeah, and I was like joe She's from germany and joe goes like hitler And she goes yeah, yeah I felt when you told me that the next day I felt so bad. Yeah, it's just a stupid douchebag thing to say And I wasn't even trying to be funny. No, you were just Fucked up. Yeah, dude. I was clawed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you were clawed. I was off the jack and coke and the claws He already knows a bad combo. Yeah. Um, listen, uh

Let's keep the holocaust and christmas away from each other. All right. We already have a disagreement there You know with uh with faith, you know, let's just you know, maybe don't sell ornaments with What concentration camp on it? I thought that went without saying it was assumed. Would you ever go to the holocaust museum? I heard it's like I think I've been there. It's so fucked. I've been there. I've been there actually I went there on a school trip. You went like through that hallway What there's like a like a tunnel that you go through and like I don't really remember It's like a while ago. Yeah, apparently you go through it. I forgot where it is But you go through it and it's like a tunnel and like you walk in there like yeah, and then you just come out like

Oh, yeah, because yes, I have been there because fucking terrible on the wall They have like pictures of people and they have had these stories or whatever and it's like completely fucked. Yeah. I've been there I I want to say I was in I was young. I feel like like I might have been in like fifth grade or something. Hey guys come in this tunnel Hey, you know fifth graders. This kid was in fifth grade. Yeah. It's like Jesus Go home and watch the boy in the strike pajamas It's a lovely it's a lovely movie about two boys your age

Yo, man, I'm telling you dudes whoever had amazon didn't see that. I don't know how you let that one slide Yeah, jeffrey's probably bugging out. Yeah, Bezos is bugging. Also, I will say this The the the ornaments had a one-star rating uh Who gave it one Star who bought it and was like, you know, the picture's just not clear enough on this ornament And they already fell off of my tree one star. Yeah, it doesn't hold on to the branch. Well got rid of it after two days Who's starring this thing?

also Super offensive the bottle opener only works on bud lights, but you're gonna have a problem on corps lights One star Man, like I always think about like if I could live in like another decade Like yeah Where's this going? No, no, no, like because like um, I watched like the irishman or whatever, right? And he's in like world war two or whatever. Yeah, and I was like, yo, I was like

I don't think I would like mentally. I don't think I'm tough enough to be one of those people that like lived in the 40s Hold on. Let's let's hold on to that because that's a Funny thought. Yeah, I'm gonna get to these Sponsor time. Sponsor time. Sponsor time. Sponsor time on the basement yard Keep it going. It's sponsor time. We got ads to keep the lights on for my dad, joe See, oh joe read the ads, bitch Jesus christ

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But yeah, man, I'd be afraid to live in the 40s one cuz I'm kind of brown But you know, it's you're Italian I'm Puerto Rican, but no one's got to know that. Yeah I don't think my parents would have ever met really in the 40s They did meet in the 40 They were born in the 50s probably. Yeah, my dad was born in 53. My mom was born in 56 Damn, you're just airing them out right now with their age. Yeah, it's all right. I mean, come on your children are all 30

Someone's gonna put together unless you guys are just smashing and 14 People do it. Yeah, my brother had a kid at 16 More airing out No, I'm joking. We're talking about before yeah, yeah, but I'd be afraid. I don't know like what happened in the 40s I don't even know the world war two. Was that it? Yeah I think it started in the late 30s and ended in the early 40s Not cut up for a draft. I remember for a long time. I would be the worst fucking soldier in the history of the world I think that I could turn it on. Yeah, if I wasn't like forced to go

But like like here's here's the difference like could you? Yeah, I think I could I'm not even kidding. I think I could but like here's what I mean like if people because like something like pearl harbor Right where it's like they came here and killed all your friends I'm not laughing at pearl harbor No, but I'm saying like my friends died there. No, no, no No, but I'm saying imagine like you have a damn right. They did imagine you have a friend. Yeah, who is like stationed in In hawaii it was right. Yeah, yes pearl harbor. Yeah So imagine so imagine you have friends that are stationed there and or like whatever blah blah blah

and People came from a different country and killed your friends You'd feel more inclined to be like I need to do something about this because now it's not happening like over there It's like what's happening here. Yeah, it just feels different. You know domestic attack Yeah, I feel like if people that I knew started Dying because there was like stuff going on that I'd feel more inclined to whatever But I will you know, there is a caveat or no that kind of sounds like a movie though It's like your friend dies and you're like I have to go like you become like Rambo

No, I must I must avenge him That's not what I mean, but I I just feel like It's the same it's the same thing like this like I could never kill somebody like I would never I would know No, no, but I'm saying like I would never just kill somebody But if someone just kill someone, yeah, but if someone killed someone that I knew I could kill them No Yes No, but yeah, sir

Whatever you say, man If I if I shot your family and killed them you wouldn't kill me. Yeah, I'd kill you. That's what I'm saying Yeah, so it's like but you wouldn't kill someone for no reason But if you were provoked in like this is directly affecting me and like yeah That's obviously a selfish way to think and like god bless all the soldiers that just do it because they're like This is the right thing to do like tougher men than I I am a complete pussy compared to these people Dude, I would get anywhere to any battle zone just here. I'm gonna be like yo guys. I'm done. I'm sorry I can't see I just be strong like yo, I gotta go to the bathroom real quick

I would take so many bathroom breaks if I was in the fucking military Yeah, maybe call me dany shits or I would just be like fake and ankle sprains or something Oh, yeah, dude. It's like yo my ham just blew out. I can't like there's no way my ham shrinks On opl have you guys ever talked to like an army ranger or something like someone that's been in this shit? No, we haven't Well good after it. Yeah, it's somebody that's been in the suck Yeah, I think they call it the suck. Yeah, I mean Yeah, like I said like

Because you were obsessed with like army ranger training videos for a little while I still am dude. You know, watch this watch this and it was just like 11 men left in the ocean for like four days. It was maybe seals training. Yeah, I was like, dude, who does this? I love watching stuff like that because I I am super like my dad is a Fireman, so I feel like I have a kind of close connection to People like that that are it's like people in uniform kind of well. Yeah, it's like I have a I have a I feel like I have a higher respect than people who don't Really like I get it more than other people servants like people that do yeah

People don't really have an understanding of how much they do and what the sacrifices and blah blah blah And I don't really blame them for it. They just don't know anyone that's that's done it And I grew up with my dad doing that and then you know, obviously 9 11 happened I had a better understanding obviously the trickle down is easier I feel like you know those those jobs we have policemen, you know EMS firemen And anyone in the military it's like these people Just wake up and they're like, I'm just gonna go put my life on the line Yeah, and and here's the other thing that's fucked up. This is the craziest thing, right?

There's a giant like Homeless veteran problem in this country. Yeah, right and it only gets worse by the day and people are still signing up for the Like most dangerous job you can possibly have yeah And going to fight for people who won't even Be be guaranteed a home for the rest of their life

Right and you like you like you you see what happens when people get home and it's like it would be different like I I honestly think that if you go and fight for the country and you do a tour You should have an apartment anywhere you want. You should never have to pay For living no ever again It's like in in in in in in in like a an apartment or something, right? Yeah, just a handout mansions and shit whatever a lot, but like They shouldn't have like there shouldn't be one bedroom apartment or something There should be stuff like that and and it should be ridiculous like I know people like oh, you know economically

That doesn't really I don't care Yeah, like these people are going out and literally bullets are whizzing by their face and killing their friends At least you could do is give them an apartment the guy who's over there is fucking friends Legs are still in Fallujah and even when you get pretty Jesus you get back And like you're all fucked up from PTSD because you were just like it you know what i'm saying You're just high strung for four years Yeah, and now you're homeless here like no one gives a shit Are you kidding me? And people are still signing up for that. I know it's crazy and like those like that's why I like

I'm too old. It's just to get drafted. Yeah, I'm too old. Yeah, I mean take my old ass Yeah, I got a tourney seal so No, so it's like I got flat feet. I can't go up like all right. This is the least of like You know, I'm left-handed can't go to the army. I'm sorry. Um, but yeah that that that I I'm baffled by that all the time. So I I love to watch videos of military and like whatever because I just try so hard to get into the mind of that of of just completely Taking yourself out of the equation and being like none of this is for me

And it's all for everyone else And like literally just putting your life on the line and like to me Like i'm weird dude and try to find like The meaning of life and the purpose and why are we all here kind of thing like all the time you tell him and want to And then uh Like I feel like that also kind of puts in perspective for me because it's like I'm over here worrying about You know, what does it all mean like just not and like these people have just erased that thought from their mind Dude, I've seen like I just need to protect everyone. Dude. I've seen videos of those guys that get like like uh

Like wounded in action And like they'll be in hospital beds and be like when can I go back? Yeah, I'm like, dude, you're fucking savage. Yeah Yeah I'm like, dude, send me the fuck home. I am a bitch Yeah I would get a splinter and be like, yeah, it's infected. I gotta go Yeah, no, there's everything like I'm having a panic attack. So it's like, yeah, well There's fucking bullets. I have a panic attack if like my garbage shoot doesn't work correctly

God forbid somebody fucking fired a weapon at me. Jesus. Yeah, I can't imagine, dude You think you'll ever own a gun? At some point, right? I think at some point I'll own a gun But I'd have something I would love to not I would love to not own a gun though like I like No one in my family has guns like no one That's a lie. That's a huge lie. What am I saying? I have an uncle that lives in Maine. The guy's a psycho He's got like a farm and shit. We were leaving his house. He was shooting off a cannon into the woods

This that's a real story. He's a blow dart. He's a sick. He's a sick man He's a sick man Um, but I hate saying it like this but like, you know, like I wouldn't like get a gun if I lived around here I would get a gun if I lived like in the middle of nowhere. Yeah. Yeah But there's so many like rules with the guns like a lot of it doesn't make sense to me Is this you have to keep the gun and the bullet separate and it's like if someone brings it to my house I gotta now like arts and crafts this gun together so I could fucking it's like that bill burr segment He's like I'm running around. That's fucking like assembling a weapon while this guy's just in my house. Yeah, but uh, I don't know

It's kind of a hot tape, but I think guns are like cool Like It's the type of guns that are just a little crazy like we've talked about it before on the show Oh, we're going gun control now. No, it's not gun control. It's just like bro. Like it's like, yo, what's up, man? I have a safe for ar-15. So I'm like, dude, you live in suburbs Yeah, why do you have on that? Yeah, I know It's that woman did get killed by all those feral hogs. So we were wrong about that too. I don't know why But this feral hog thing has been like a huge thing with our audience

Feral hogs. Yeah, what do you mean? Like just Anything that happens with feral hogs now is just I'm constantly tagged in it And then some woman was gruesomely murdered by a feral hog I don't want to get too into it because it's sad as shit. They ate her. Yeah, and we were just like, yo, we don't need to do that Might need to get rid of these feral hogs now I might have to switch my stance on the hog. I might have to switch my stance. I didn't know like a feral hog could do that I thought for sure I could run away from hogs. I don't know the speed of hogs That's the thing, but I've had an ar

I could level a bunch. Yeah, but I'm saying if there was a bunch of fucking feral hogs running at you Yeah, what the fuck man, dude, I'll tell you this A bunch of chickens running at me I'm scared. Yeah, but you could punt the chicken, you know Goose, geese kind of scare me. How many because a geese will flex on you. They'll pull it like Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll like dude. I'll fucking ring that neck boy if I want to but I'll run in a way Snap it. Um fucking Hulk smash it Bring it back and forth. How many chickens do you think it would take to kill you to kill me?

1500 Dude chickens are small dude. I'll fuck a chicken up How many chickens would it take to kill you if they all had human intelligence? Eight No, realistically 1500s too high. I could easily kill 100 chickens. Just pa pa Just fucking bapping them up. You got to think about this though. You're gonna get tired Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna get tired, but some of those chickens though, you know, no, they're not Yeah, I'll fucking chicken up and then I would also use chickens to like fight the other chickens

Like I would like to recruit. Yeah, I would like put putting them on my hands and use them as boxing gloves And just fight chickens with chickens Chickens can't fight bro Yo, they can peck you. They never see turkeys chase children. That's scary. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I've seen peacocks do that too peacocks scare the shit out of me. Yo, what is a peacock? Yeah, like peacocks are like royalty birds Yeah, it looks like you have on like a cape like what the fuck is that? Why you got so many feathers? What's that for? That's what I love like planet earth and shit because they give you like some kind of like Context context to it. I'm like, oh, okay. That makes sense, but I'm still like it's a little much

Yeah, like, yo, why is this peacock got like turquoise? Robon and like a hat the fuck is that for and why do we not have any cool like defense shit? Like we have our arms and our legs and shit too, but I would love to fucking change colors if I'm scared Yeah, I need something else. I would like to be like a cool color I would love to fucking rub up against a fucking school bus and be like become the same color as the bus Oh, I would love that just to hide. I would have never went to school. We'll just blend it in with the seat Chameleons, dude, really? Chameleons, dude. Chameleons, bro. I'm like, you ever see those octopuses? Yeah, octopi. Is that how you say multiple? It's octopus

Octopus is just it's like fish. I have no idea. Yeah, I don't know But they can they can like change colors like Yeah, like why do we not have any of that cool? Also octopus got eight hearts I thought they had eight legs No, they got eight arms and those shits grow back too, but they got eight hearts or like four hearts They got they got a heart per leg. They got yeah, bro I like how they do this though. Like they'll go Yeah, they straighten out

It's pretty cool. And then they shoot ink at you. They could jizz on you. Oh my god. Yo, these are the coolest animals Oh, they got three hearts my bad. Not eight hearts. They got three hearts though Three is still crazy. Do cows have two hearts? Isn't that or two stomachs? How many? Hearts does a cow have hearts probably one does a cow have It's gonna be one. They're mammals Oh Oh, so those were both rumors. There was four hearts and four stomachs. They're both wrong. All right, so the stomachs are bullshit

Yeah, yeah So there's that but the octopus has four Yeah, and you could they could cut off an arm and then just grow that bitch back I mean, we might take some time and we've talked about I think we've talked about this too It's weird how like we have the worst shit that could regenerate Hair Fingernails. Yeah, I'm fucking cut my arm. I'll let this shit grow back. Why do I gotta who cares about this? Who cares about this? No, this come on

Come on hair on my head for what is that do and then you could potentially lose all that at some point Be sure someone's got to fix this Someone better do something like cut someone's arm off and let the shit grow back. Yeah You can make a woolly mammoth, but you can't make my arm grow back You dumb bitch the fuck you guys studying over there at harvard over fucking columbia. Whatever fuck fucking nerds oxford You idiots. Yeah fucking Joey Gatto building a fucking spaceship fucking building an arm, brother Seriously, you're trying to go to space. We got we got problems down here, dude My arm's not growing back or like I lost a finger and like we can't put a replacement on this bitch

Yeah, dude, we got veterans are at homeless and I can't grow back my arms Fucking world's ass backwards. I'm saying we had to wait till 2018 to figure out that dairy's not actually good for us milk gives you strong bones. That's bullshit What's who's paying for all the force false advertising all those fucking years all that milk I tried and then I even heard that the stuff that the milk that they put on their face and the mustache wasn't even real milk In the commercial it was a mixture of glue and some kind of paste Milk doesn't form a mustache like that. It's all bullshit milk has been bullshit from the beginning full of milky lies Milk mustaches are fake. It's taking a power stance against me. I'm out on milk

I'm fucking done with milk all milk. I don't care what piece of wheat this comes from Oat um and whatever the fuck Fuck all of it. I'm not out on vanilla almond milk. I like that I like it too, but we gotta have a stance. Okay, I'll stand with you breast milk is fine I'll stand with you stand with me breast milk's fine because Not that just because it comes from tits and sisters sick, but also it you know, it's necessary It's natural for babies. They need it. Yeah, that's why but every all the other ones The ones that aren't from a humans. Fuck them. Yeah. Yeah, we shouldn't be sucking other species tits

No, I think if you want to drink milk from a cow, you got to suck it from the other then You got to get down and dirty if you want that. Yeah, suck that fucking cow's tits. I agree That's how it's gonna happen. It's the only way you should be the only way you should be allowed to have milk Is if you suck it from the source and that is a voluptuous Fucking milksack too I'm telling you man, I get I get I get Like it's scary like how we were marketed things when we were kids dude They used to say cigarettes were sick. Yeah, and then it was just like the whole like that got milk thing

It's like, you know, they would get your favorite athlete put a fake fucking milk stash on them and make you want to drink milk Think about how dumb we are though. Yeah, why is a milk mustache? Something we want You know what I never thought about that. It's like that's like marketing catch up and it's been like look it stains You'd be like, why would I want it all over my shirt? But I will be honest with you It did make me want that stash. I wanted this stash, too I was purposely pouring this milk on my dumb face so I could get one it never came They were all like black and white and they had like sexy poses. I'm like damn, dude

So now it just looks like somebody jizzed on you Someone with a thick load Yeah That was so heavy. Oh man, we were talking about Auschwitz like 30 minutes ago It just scares me to the point where milk's bullshit milk milk is shit. It's all bullshit. It's all shit. It's all shit It's all shit. I don't even know what's real anymore because milk was milk was cool Drink your milk. Oh, oh by the way, here's another one The food pyramid

Yeah, bullshit. Yeah, it's ridiculous. Yeah, it's not you're not supposed to follow it. Yeah It's all bullshit But then like I feel like everyone's just you got to find out what works for your body. I guess there's textbooks Yeah, that I read as a child And was taught in school And this fucking pyramid was on a poster in the fucking classroom when we had to know what it was It's all bullshit. Oh, yeah They're trying to kill us. You know what another thing I was also thinking about too recently like uh

So, you know how I went back to my school and spoke there like I saw old teachers Yeah, I was like, yeah, my view completely was so different when I was a kid of like a teacher Like you don't think of like they that they have lives You know, it's like they're just your teacher Like you know what I'm saying like they go home and like have a life and like they have like You can never picture a teacher like going to a bar. You're like, what you're a teacher. What are you doing? What is this get out of here? But I did hear some like some stuff went down in my school between my old teachers

And I'm gonna tell it right here on the story on this fucking podcast. Are they flexing? All right, so oh no, I had a teacher, right? Yeah, who dated another teacher, right? Uh-huh. I had one of those. Yeah Yeah, they're married now. Oh, they were married. They were wait. What so these teachers met Working in the same school, right? Um, they ended up having babies together. They were married sex for sure. Um, and then I found out another teacher was Fucking my other teacher's wife who was also a teach

Yeah, and it happened like relatively recently To this current time and where we are now Yes, yes, and you know what I think the school just like relocated like uh, the the female teacher Yeah, I left the two dudes and left the two dudes to bad to duke it out to fucking just fight fight for her fucking vagina Dude when I heard dude when I heard this story first of all I was like, whoa And then I was like kind of cool and then I was like, ah, this is fucked up. There's kids involved But then I was like, wait, wait, wait I need to see this fight. I need to just fight. Yeah, this is going down in the long I need to see this

I need to come around here more the parking lot three o'clock. Nothing ever happened that cool while I was in school I mean, that's not cool. No, no, no like a story wise Teachers out here fucking each other and shit now they got kids now they're fucking each other And then also there was a rumor about one of the teachers that she got tag teamed once Damn dude, we're fucking schooled you go. I don't know fucking Beverly Hills 902 and oh type of school. I guess it's a real house wise of Hastings high school or whatever the fuck. Yeah, I feel like do you feel like if people this is gonna sound weird Because we work together all time, but I'm not trying to go there

But like do you think since you work with somebody so much like it makes you want to fuck them more? Uh, I think Naturally, I mean not me and you no, no, no, but I think if you're working at school and you're just around These female teachers all the time. Yeah Talking about the same shit I guess I feel like a lot of people work in the they meet in the workplace. You know what it is with teachers I think that they work really hard. I'm one of those people also

I think that teachers are severely underpaid like they do a lot of fucking work I like hope my friends are teachers and it's like insane, but um, I don't fucking know I'm marrying one. Yes Come on, man. Come on, man. His shirts can't come quick enough. God damn right. I can't that shit real bad Oh, man, I might fucking weasel my into that fucking marriage. Yeah, yeah, we get to the civil union that shit But uh, dude her insurance is so good too, dude I'm gonna walk in there and you have a whole fucking new fucking asshole Yeah, dude, I'm pretty sure with my mom's insurance when I was under that I could have walked in and and they would have built

In my own hospital. Yeah, like they were just like, yeah, dude, you have your own fucking doctor Yo, you see this whole thing. I want it. I don't want it anymore. Yeah. I want everything new. Yeah And they're like, okay, cool top of the transplant list Jesus Lost what I was saying good night. You were saying we're talking about teachers Work having sex oh having sex having dirty sex in the work dirty filthy sex at the workplace Dirty filthy hard rough sex at the workplace. Yeah So

Uh, yeah, I think that teachers like they work a lot. Yeah, so I think that when you talk to other teachers like they get it You know, they understand the kind of work that you do. They know what goes into it Whatever So I think there's a lot of venting and I think when you're venting to someone you are vulnerable and you're opening up and you're whatever Vulnerable and sex goes so hand in hand. Yeah, dude. When you start confessing shit. It's like, uh, we're either just friends at a bar And I just had a rough night or we're fucking You know, it's like when you start being like, yeah, you know, and then like I just can't like and then you know Whatever Bobby doesn't get home until nine

And then you're and then Figure it out and then you start coitus and then this and then that and then this and then this and then that and then that And then this and then this and then maybe even this or that's the butthole. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it is and then this Oh Baby nine months later. Yeah gotta pay for your sins. Yes, you do Pay up 18 years. You're signed on buddy. I love how they said like, oh, yeah sex before marriage is a sin Whole lot of people go in the hell. Oh, dude. How's it gonna be awesome, man? Could you be with someone that was like, yeah? Hell sounds pretty cool at least a fucking down there like listen, it's eternal fire and it's probably a lot of pain

It's a little hot, but I like saunas. Everyone's probably just a fuck freak down there. Yeah, you gotta figure You gotta figure all that you're gonna catch some fucking like demonic blowjobs down there Yeah, yeah, but you know what it probably is you probably get really good ones, but you never come That's hell that is hell. I'll tell you what though. I don't give a fuck where I am. I'm coming That's that is true words haven't been those might be the most true words ever spoken into these you could try to make me not You could duct tape it or whatever it but I'll figure it out. It's coming out over there. Just like doing this. Yeah What are you doing? Nothing. Nothing

Creating some fake friction I'm cold Yeah But yeah, I don't know man I feel like workplace fucks or like that happens all the time I don't I mean, I just think the work I worked in a pizzeria. No one fucked Yeah, no, yeah, but like I'm talking about like office settings like not like this like a like a we like uh Like people that work in offices and schools together and like you're part of like a faculty team

You think they bang at the school? No, maybe maybe who knows they're fucking people bro I would love to know how many people are banging at work Like at the office. I I think you'd be surprised at how High the number would be oh, I would be shocked because I especially the like we're younger now Like and oh, yeah, everyone's just like oh, it's chill man. Yeah, let's chill come on And there's a beer tap in all these offices. Yeah, like you're sucking somebody's dick, dude I don't care. Someone's gonna get drunk on a Tuesday when they had too much And then someone's gonna someone's getting fucked in we work. That's just how it works

Someone's getting banged on a bean bag. Yeah, that's what's gonna happen right in the middle of the workplace That's another thing these fucking this startup sex got you know startup sex you're banging on a fucking A foosball table. Yeah, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah, we're in the playroom the fuck Your adults you have a playroom at your company. Yeah, you're 27 years old Stop drinking at work. I used to do that shit all the time. I used to do it all Dude, I'd be wasted it'd be three o'clock in the afternoon I'm like, what is happening Danny used to work for this startup company and I actually went there Uh for a meeting or whatever. Yeah, I think we drank beers. Yeah, and it was like 11

Yeah, we got beers. Do you want I was like sure and then he walked over to a tap. I was like, what the fuck I was like, yeah, this is this is happening. This is what I've been doing, buddy. Yeah, and I would literally stay there I mean, this is definitely Contributing my alcoholism, but I would stay there till like seven o'clock almost every night because I was like, you know the fucking beer is free Yeah, I mean, yeah, that's a recipe for alcoholism. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah They would have like really good bougie like, you know hipster beer there like what would it be like logon? Eat us. Yeah, it would never be trash. It would never be but like to be just gorgeous gorgeous golden brown logon eats

Logon eats was one of my favorite beers. I love that shit. Yo, when I get a studio, I think I'm gonna do that Even though I don't even drink anymore, but I think by then I'll be drink I'm just trying to like oh, yeah, that's right. You're on the sober rover train. Come over. Yeah, man I've been sober for a month now. I think you feel any better. I do. I feel a lot better told you I feel better and there is something nice about like going out and then waking up in the morning and being like I feel fine That's my favorite thing about it. Yeah, once you conquer the going out aspect of it and being like no, I'm good cool Just hanging out. Yeah Life is so much better. The only downside is like I is that drinking is awesome. No

The only downside is that when I tell people like oh, no, I'm like I'm sober now They look at me like I Accidentally fucked a dude or something like oh, yeah, I had some crazy experience But you just got like no, I'm just trying to reel it in. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't care. I mean, it's whatever but like Uh, I just get a lime and and club soda and everyone thinks I'm drinking. Yeah, I just uh Yeah, I'm just trying to reel it in, you know. Yeah, man trying to get growing up trying to stay growing sexy. I'm trying exactly I'm trying to Prove to myself that it's not an issue or it's not like a crutch. Oh, yeah

You know what I mean? I failed that test a couple times. No, but you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I do Sometimes you go through times where you drink a lot and you're like, oh man, I'm just like doing it Yeah, for no reason or whatever. Yep, because even even like I like craft beer So I would occasionally just have like a 110 percent beer. Yeah, which is a heavy beer But like dude, I remember you said those at your old apartment. I would crush like three of those Yeah, dude, and just be like fucked. Yeah, I'm a bet on the Jets Just fucking drunk as shit. Me and Danny used to sit in the office at my old apartment And I had a beer fridge right next to my desk

And we would drink and I mean, we wouldn't do it all the time. We did it maybe like four times But those four times it was like snowing out and we're like, oh, you're you're probably gonna stay the night and just get Fucking wrecked the whole day. But those are some of my greatest drunk memories though. Yeah, those are like those are all amazing nights Nothing bad ever happened. Yeah, it was just amazing. Yeah, it was fun felt safe and there was a fire there Oh, it was a fire. Yeah, and I was just like, dude, nothing can hurt me right now. Yeah. Yeah, I'm just so drunk and happy You know what I mean? But then you it's the morning. It's the morning It's when you wake up and you're just like, ah my life, dude, you know what it was I would just like I would hear

I don't know. I think it was just because it was happening consecutively for me for these last couple times Where where I was like drunk drunk and I'm just like, oh my god. I'm I felt like such a fucking loser, dude Yeah, like I was just like, oh, I don't even remember saying that, you know, and like that's never happened to me No, but yeah, like the Hitler comment No, but like that's never happened to me where like I usually remember everything And then I wake up and I'm like, maybe I said one thing that wasn't crazy or whatever But then not that I'm saying wild shit, but uh These last couple times that I was like really drunk. I like didn't remember a lot

So I was like, dude, this is starting to become like a pattern. And I was like, I'm not going down this road So I just try I'm just really letting it in and I feel I feel great. When did you have uh For lack that come to Jesus meeting though like uh with yourself just like, you know what? I'm gonna shut it down for a bit I think like I I I have an idea But tell the audience because I remember you told me you're like, yeah, I think I'm gonna stop doing it well, I just like It was just like a bunch of things it it's it was just like the block of time like

Alcoholism like runs rampant in my family. So like, uh, you know A lot of people have had to you know, go through periods of time where they had to like reel it in or they had to stop completely Or like whatever or some people still have that problem But I just don't want to fall into that charlie's charlie's the dog But I just don't want to fall into that. So I just felt like yo like once you start Blacking out consistently, you're like, okay. I'm I'm not doing that because like I don't feel like I I need to do it Now you're too old to black out though. Yeah, that's the thing too. Yeah, like dude. I'm not 22 at a college bar like alabama

Yeah, yeah, it's just I roll tide And that's something suck my nipples I don't know what it was honestly and then I honestly like I felt like it I like I gained a bunch of weight And I wasn't eating. Well, go for it. Yeah I gained a bunch of weight. I wasn't eating. Well, and I'm not I mean, I'm not judging I mean, I don't know the boy myself, but I'm just letting you know No, we're in the we're in the era of chunk joe make no mistake

We're making a mistake right now. We're in we're in the era of chunk joe. I love chunk joe, but I just you that's not That's not the joe I need right now. It's just not gonna happen. There's only one room for a chunky chunky boy here Yeah, man. So like stealing my gimmick I am it can't be it can't be two chunks over here. You can't put your face on a still fat shirt No, that would be stupid And I'm also in that middle ground where people are just like you're not fat I'm like, yeah, bud. Yeah, but I don't want anyone to ever say that to me ever Like, yo, you're not fat

It means you're fat It means that you're not You know what it means? It doesn't mean that you're fat. It means like But But you could do some people be like, dude, you're not fat. I'm like, yeah Yeah, all right, but you're just like big. Yeah. Yeah, I know I see it every day. Yeah. Yeah, um, no, but But whatever. I mean, I'm happy that you're doing that. No, yeah I just feel like like it's the best thing for you because you know what it was

I mean, obviously alcohol you do that you wake up. You feel like an idiot regardless if you did nothing You feel like oh, I feel like shit. I feel like whatever you're less productive You're not ready to start your day Then you're gonna eat like shit after that and then you're gonna eat like shit Or like you eat shit late night and like whatever and after doing that consistently you put on some pounds, but yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, I mean So I mean I put on like 10 12 pounds like fast That's so well not fast but like three months

Is that fast? Um, I feel like I could yeah if I really had to I could gain that faster Yeah, I mean you could get over two bills Yeah, uh, that'd be rich. Yo, if I was the most you ever weighed Like 192 you could easily get the two bills Yeah, but that was bad. Yeah. Yeah. That was like like Like right now. I think I'm like I'm close. I'm probably like 187 right now Yeah, what do you have an eye? Do you have a you don't have to share it on here?

But do you have like a goal weight in your 170 you can get there? Yeah, I mean I Intend to it's tough. I would like anything in the 70s to be honest with you. I just want to get down You don't drink for three months. You'll be one under 180 a second. Yeah, dude. I stopped drinking I lost like 33 pounds and then I just started eating garbage Yeah, I know it's a lot of like calories that you don't account for you know And that's also why I wanted to do boxing because it's like I Work out and I like run and shit, but I hate running

So the most I can possibly run in one sitting is like Two to three miles and then I'm like all I'm fucking bored or like whatever with boxing You'll burn more calories too. Yeah easily. Yeah, I was soaked. Yeah, so it was like a lot of fun But should wear a heart rate monitor next time Why just to see like how much how much how much how much you burn? Yeah, how much you burnies? Yeah, man, take all health advice from me All right, so I will tell you exactly what not to do Exactly, you know, it's like you're I remember being where you are like that that beautiful hill mountain like you could turn back

Dude, it's a beautiful beautiful place down there. Don't go over that dark road. Don't go down that hill. I'm not talking about alcohol I'm talking about getting fat. Yeah, I'm talking about getting chunky. You know chunk Joe chunk Joe You could easily just just walk back down the hill man. Everyone's waiting for you. Come on. Yeah, we're walking. We're walking It's a slow walk. Oh, yeah, you don't want to fall down the hill. Oh, you can't that would be dangerous You want to cut like a UFC fighter or anything? No, no, no, no, no. It's just take a nice stroll Who's a pound here or there on the walk? You're good. You'd be fucking Eating fucking jello shots out of your belly button by the end of this time. Yeah, I honestly like I Yeah, I need to just dude. You got this, bro

I'm not worried about it. Like I'm you know what it is I it got to the point where I was like, you know, they're like you can't Go on living like this. There's another thing too. It's like listen like I've like perfected fat culture. Yeah, I'm very good at it. I can't just step in to being fat I don't think you could handle it. I don't think I don't think you could handle the lifestyle It's just like I don't think you could pull together the fat swag No, I don't think I could man. Yeah, the flag would be hard for you Yeah, especially because I've been I've been twink my whole life. That's what I'm saying, dude

Don't do it now. Don't do it now. You got this. No, I'm fucking proud of you dog. Listen. I thank you, man Appreciate that. How do you dox? You know, and I didn't get Joe sober. He did it himself. So anyone ever comments on this? Yeah, no, no, no, that wasn't that wasn't that and also I'm not like like if someone's like, oh man Because like I said, I'm into craft beers like all this beer is good. Like you want to try it. I'm like, yeah, I'll try I'm not like I'm gonna fucking fall off a cliff or anything But it's not gonna be shotgun and beers are drinking jack and coax at 10 30 in the morning. Yeah, that I'm not gonna do Yeah, I'm just gonna stop doing that and also like I'll have a glass of red wine with like a fucking

Nice dinner or something, you know, but why does health benefits other than that? I'm done for the foreseeable foreseeable future for the foreseeable future Unless you get permafrosted Yeah, then if I got permafrosted I would definitely come out and see what all kind of fucking new 18,000 years of drug uh fucking evolution gotta try it. I'd relapse heart Yeah, they probably have some sick drugs in 18,000 years from now. Yeah, dude, like somehow like 90 alcohol beers that taste like water I'll be like, dude, I need all that Oh, dude, you should have tried that fucking moonshine in Nashville. Oh man. This is pre sober joe and peak junk joe. Yeah

This moonshine was like 70 proof or some shit. It was the most disgusting thing I've ever had. Yeah, it was so gross It burned all the way down. I don't understand how people drink that and like, yeah Like, dude, this is gross because they live in the woods and they're just like, oh god I just need to get away from my wife need white lightning in me. Yeah, I need some blue lightning or blue flame Whatever the fuck it's called. I don't you need a doctor. Yeah, so dude, you need to see a therapist. All right. That's what you need What's that therapy I'm not doing therapy. I'm not going to see no therapist therapist. That's for pussy therapy is gay

Therapy is for the gays and for pussies and possibly even the jeeps Hammy my moonshine asked me go to therapy gay shit like that I'll never ask me some juice stuff like that Tommy came over here earlier talking about a bunch of juice stuff talking about therapy Bullshit Don't let that motherfucker back in this house. You hear me? I

Love when people do something. Yeah, there's people like that in the world, dude. No, it's great I'm not saying all southern people like that. Obviously not. There are some people that would but they do have southern Their entire ideology would be that the only reason they go don't go to therapy Is because it's gay or for the juice or it's for the juice. Yo, honestly like Oh You heard Tommy you came over here talking June on talking June on Could barely understand him It's bullshit

What happened to this country? Hammy beer, baby, would you? now God damn it I said, hey, I may have been Oh, man Gotta love it. I got my therapy right here Here's your therapy little blood lat some bush lat. Oh mil walkie

Therapy why don't you go slam my dad used to say it to me all the time not about therapy, but I would say something like If I said I was bored or something he'd be like, why don't you go slam your head against the wall? All the time don't you slam your head against the wall? Maybe then you won't be bored. I was like, dad I'm not gonna do that. Awesome parents. Yeah, that was his thing. Go. Why don't you go slam your head against the wall? It was great. Yeah, I don't think my dad really cared about my problems But oh, yeah, all right, well try working Why don't you get a job? That's the thing you don't have enough responsibilities And you think you're overthinking things because you don't have enough stuff to do go get a fucking job

No, that's not it dad. No, no, no, no. I have anxiety anxiety anxiety driving five kids. I might do can you try meet me? At some middle ground here and just be like, hey, man Panic attacks. I'll give you a panic attack. Yeah. Oh, go get the conhead bill on the fridge. That's a panic attack Don't be like that. Please just meet me halfway with my fucking insecurities here You should be like a cat. Yeah, you think you got problems. I'm paying for your sister's fucking wedding try that Didn't talk to me about problems. I didn't even want a daughter 10 000 dollars for a fucking cake I didn't even want a daughter your mom goes and has a daughter Idiot her too. I told her specifically not to try getting married. There's your panic attack. Yeah, you idiot

Go slam your head against the wall We love our dad I love this shit. Oh We love our dad. Joe didn't say anything. He's like what? No, that's fucking. Oh god. Oh my god man I Repeat That's somebody's ideology. It really is

Oh, man, that is so funny, man. We want me going there wine like a woman Fucking gay Well, we're gonna see some Jew gay about my problems Oh Man, it's so fun. Oh, Jesus. It's so fun. It's just really so fun. That was a great bit That was a great bit, man I'm just gonna call him out when I see him from now on. It's gotta sometimes you gotta, you know That one's being hitched into stone. Oh, yeah

Oh, so uh new therapies gay merch coming out You guys should make merch Oh, man. Oh, this should be merch. Yo, some people with right in the comments like this should be merch And it's the most like Fucking under the radar Does it make any sense on a shirt kind of line? And I'm like, oh man The ideas are not for you. Yeah, you know, we thank you for trying but You know go bang your head against the wall

Yeah, for sure. It's got to be the day with this episode. Oh, yeah, go bang your head against the wall I love when we figure that out early. Yeah, I know so My job gets so much easier There's been so many times me and Daniel are like, what should we name this episode? And then we sit in the chairs facing each other and we go, what the fuck did we talk about? Then we have to basically listen to like the entire episode again Idiots, all right. Um, I think we could wrap up here. Yeah, um, danny You could find me at daniela priori on instagram and twitter and please make sure to go check out the stank podcast

We got a lot of great new content coming out. Uh, it's youtube.com slash the stank podcast I didn't know if I was going to plug the instagram or the youtube first, but uh go to youtube.com slash The stank podcast I fucked it up again And then instagram at the stank podcast come hang out me and frankie talking video games movies comics and sometimes sex Um, and uh, you guys can follow me at joe sanagato. Go follow the baseman yard on instagram at the baseman yard and our patreon Uh, we thank you to everyone who is donating to our patreon

uh patreon.com slash the baseman yard And go check out other people's lives another show that I do with uh, my buddy greg It's available anywhere you want to get your podcast Uh, I think at the moment that this comes out We might be in between seasons, but there's a lot of cool episodes That we came out with this season so go check those out and backlog that shit Yeah, and we are going to we're actually revamping the show

So when we do come back It's gonna be a lot better So definitely look forward to that and that is all see you guys the next time. Yeah