The Basement Yard - #226 - You Know What They Say...

Episode Date: January 27, 2020

On this episode, we do a bracket of our all time favorite "sayings" and see which one will reign victorious. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happ I was gonna say happy birthday I was gonna say happy birthday. No, welcome back to the basement. You're already fucked up It's okay hot start hot start to the birthday Danny. How you doing, man? Good broski. Good. Do me a favor hold your hand up Guys got a ring on them like you would not believe right now. It's shining. I can't even see it right now I'm a zombie dance as then there's a middle finger dance Dancing, you know, it's a birthday gift to myself. Yeah, also we talking about ice I mean, I got some jewelry now because I Went out and I got the whole team that works with us

Santa gata studio chains from from uh, you know, I'm saying Jacob the jeweler Jacob and co Shout out to Jacob and co. Shout out to Jacob and co for getting these chains. They're really dope. They are like director slates We in a mob and it says And it says Santa got studios on them. So I got everyone chains for that But so much by the way. Yeah, very thoughtful gift. I'm excited that everyone just has it. Yeah, I love it, too I have a gift for you though right now. No, it's coming It was for Christmas. We didn't do a Christmas exchange Oh, and you said the gift was gonna be late, but I got something that you didn't get for Christmas

When am I getting it? Probably when we get back from Miami, okay Anyway, before we get into the show what we're doing today. I wanted to tell you guys about our patreon We have revamped it. Okay. There's only two tiers. I believe there might be a third one But like the five dollar tier you get every episode of the basement yard a week early So you'll get next week's episode full video already on Monday and Also every day of the week. We're shooting a 15 minute morning meeting show as well

Okay, so if you sign up for the patreon for the ten dollar tier You get the morning meeting so every day of the week besides Saturday and Sunday because we're not in here Monday through Friday, we have a show that goes out on patreon and it's 15 minutes We have some guests sometimes we you know talk about stuff behind the scenes who let you know which content is coming out Which is a huge gripe with it's fine. Yeah, we'll get into that But yeah, so it's a really cool segment But if you're interested in that, you know every morning usually probably around 10 30 Eastern we have the video go out But yeah, so go check that out patreon.com slash the basement yard

Yeah, what was that? I don't know remember an ace Ventura Earthquake test I Love that movie. What's your favorite ace Ventura scene besides the football replay one? Oh We slams I like the sliding door one That's probably not it but Oh, maybe when he's in the tank, oh, it's a great one. I just can't do it captain I just I don't have the power

Or like when he's slamming the gum. Oh, yeah, then he goes your gun is digging into my hip Yeah, so I didn't get employee of the week for the first-ever annual first-ever annual weekly weekly annual first-ever Employee of the week or which I think is fucking absolute Garbage horseship yeah, because I deserve to win it I really did and I know Josh was sick, which is cool You know what now that I'm looking back on it You didn't because you just did your first week ever of being on time Josh is using I crushed work though that last week so Josh crush Josh has been crushing work though. I've always crushed work, dude

Not always You like to waste time. I did like to waste time, right? I did right you did we've changed ways But I think that Josh's I think consistency should have not went unnoticed. No, that's fine. That's fine That's fine. Okay, but my only thing is yeah is that I feel like you have this great. You have an eye booger Oh, yeah Sorry, I know you just don't want to be like I got eye bugs. I don't want you to be where is it with that Which I design stage right this one your left. Yeah, this is is it in the middle or the back? You got it. It's gone Oh bedtime. Yeah, I just felt like hey, what's up? You know, let's boost morale here

Yeah, and my morale honestly was lowered because I feel like you just didn't want to gratify me That's not true. I would love to gratify you. Oh, and you haven't been gratified What do you want to do you want to kiss you want to kiss I just let me kiss you on the cheek We'll be nice. You want me to do that an Italian old woman Italian kiss to you? That would be nice to that'd be nice. I'd be double that'd be double nice I'm waiting for you to kiss me for you. Maybe I'll breathe on the nape of your neck Where is your nape? I Never had a spell the nape. I think this is where the where the trap meets

Where the trap meets does that feel nice? I'm doing it now. Well, you're supposed to breathe on it You want to come breathe it? No, you can't you can't you can't breathe on your own nape. Don't want to come breathe on your nape Big traps Nice How's that breath? Oh good. Yeah, a little warm, but that's what you want. Yeah, we want warmth. Yeah, we can't have a cold Breath. No, no, no, no, no, no. No one has cold breath. I don't think no. Yeah But yeah, dead people dead people do have cold breath. Yeah, that I know for a fact. Yeah What is it?

So Being the amazing play that I am I have to come up with some ideas and concepts for the show, right? So I came up people out here. We love brackets big bracket peeps We're big bracket peeps. We haven't done one in a while, but I didn't want to be like, yo, what's your favorite candy? We did that. We did that. Well, what's your favorite type of pizza? Nah, I wanted to go something a little more You know, what's your favorite sex position? Which maybe we could do that at some point Okay, we have to try them together. There's not that many. No, it's that wouldn't be a long bracket, but I came up with this idea On this show we do a lot of sayings. We have a lot of words a lot of abbreviations a lot of stuff a lot of stuff

So I decided to put together a bracket of the most popular sayings Oh, and I want to see which sayings we like and what's gonna win and which one is the best saying that's in the bracket I like this. This is a good idea. This is really helping your case. Thank you very much. I'm trying. I'm trying it Okay, so there's three brackets. There's a a bracket which me where it starts with the letter a Okay, then there's be starts would be starts would be nice see starts with a C and then there's miscellaneous Miscellaneous a leash is a group of our sayings. Oh So it's just basement yard sayings like that. So there's a little home cook in there, but we have to try and be honest Yeah, I can't play no bias. Yeah, we have to play with you know a little bit of fucking, you know

Integrity the honor system. Oh, yeah, sure. Is this right? You were a boy scout. I thought this was I thought this was a This isn't like oh This is like what's her name Jennifer Lawrence stuff. Yeah, or it was a three This one of these might be racist or something. I don't want that's the shocker. That's too pain That's two in the pink one in the stink Which I don't think anyone's ever done that 100% have done it. You've done that. Yes. Alright, so let's go I just feel like it's stupid nah, dude. It's dope. I just feel I also have dainty fingers So I feel like I could be snapping a finger depending on how far away the bud is if the bud's too far and my spreads all off

I could dislocate a finger and I you know, yeah, you don't want to lose a finger. Yeah, the shocker is dangerous, dude I live dangerously you do. Yeah All right, so let's get into this bracket. Yeah, okay starting off with starting with the a bracket a chip on your shoulder Versus a dime a dozen Okay, I'm gonna go on record and say I don't know what the fuck a dime a dozen means Yeah, because isn't a dime 10 and a dozen's 12. Yeah, so what does that mean? It's like also like what is like it's I didn't understand a baker's dozen until I was 27 years old

Yeah, that's just an extra. That's just one more egg. That's just one more egg But a dime a dozen a dime like if I came to you I'm like dude there a dime a dozen That means they're 10 out of 12. I don't know or do they only cost $12? I mean No Like there a dime. Yeah, but does it cost a dime to get a dozen? Think it would dime a dozen means that when people use to say, oh, it's a dime a dozen meaning like What does I don't know does it mean like it's you know, it's just like, you know They're like there's a lot of them or rare or are they cheap?

No, I don't think it's cheap like every old Italian dude is like listen man girls are a dime a dozen Yeah, does that mean they're not rare? It's like there's many of them. You know, yeah, it's called science It doesn't mean they're gonna suck my penis. Yeah a Dime a dozen. I don't really like it. I like chip on your shoulder cuz I like chips I love chips and I got nice shoulders, but is it a chip on your shoulder the shoulder? Yeah, it's nice shoulder. You know what I'm saying. I have nice traps though. I think my shoulders are better than yours No, you're not dude. No, they're not 100% no traps aren't shoulders. Yeah, it's my back. I've better back All right, so let's I own his back. I do I do I do have a big neck. I got I got delts. I got deltoids. Oh, yeah, good

They pop they do pop. I'm in the gym now. So I'm gonna get real sexy real real real sexy. Yeah, yeah better hope I Don't start Come on do the show fucking fully naked start. Yeah, we should do one show naked Okay, we're not gonna do that if we did one show naked, but obviously they didn't show anything but everyone knew we were naked That would be fucking hilarious We have to throw these chairs out. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, especially mine. Yeah, be destroyed. We have to throw that chair Burn it possibly. Yeah, we're gonna have just to keep the public safe We would have to take that chair drive it out to the country and leave it in the woods

Yeah, drive away very fast. Yeah, and one tear drops from both of our eyes and don't look in the rear view It'll be too painful. Don't look back. Just keep going can't look back But a chip on your shoulder. I'd like chip on your shoulder because it's like one I use it more Personally, but that also doesn't make sense chip on my shoulder like what it means is like you have a reason to be like Like angry or motivated or like whatever like a chip on my shoulder that sounds painful But it also sounds actually sounds delicious. Yeah, if I found out that there's a chip on my shoulder Boom, I would 100% either a shoulder chip Yeah, if it was like if I just like was walking around someone's like, you know, you got a chip on your shoulder

I'd be like, oh my god. I hope it's sour cream and I need it. Yeah. Oh my god. Thank you so much Yeah, I love this chip pleasant surprise It's a chip if I were to wake up to a chip on my shoulder every day. I would be a lot Happier but maybe a little fatter now on the opposite side if I found a dime in a dozen of eggs I'd be like, what is this dime doing here? Yeah, I'd like what is this? What is this but I would also keep it because if I found a dime in a thing of a dozen I'd be like, hey this dime could be lucky So I don't know how this circle of dimes work. I don't know how these dimes circulate. They're a dime a dozen I'm going chip I'm going chip. Let's go chip. That's fine chip chip on the shoulders chips

All right next one. Do you want to go ABC and then miss or do you want to go? Yeah, we'll just go through all of them. Okay. Wait wait all like all a all be okay. All right a piece of cake Oh, I like that an arm and a leg. I Like a piece of cake. I like a piece of cake. It's a piece of cake, but I don't use it Like it's gonna cost me an arm and a leg but a piece of cake has more wide usage. Yeah, it's a piece of cake It's a piece of cake. Yeah, it's an arm and a leg It's like, you know, it's gonna cost me an arm and a leg and then some arms and legs probably cost more than other arms and legs I wouldn't want an out of shapes person's arm and leg. That's gonna cost me more

That's what I'm saying. I wouldn't want one of your legs, but I might take your arm You know I'm saying yeah take an arm take an arm and a leg that's an expensive thing I'm spending money. I don't like it. Let me just get the arm I don't I don't like the connotation that arm and a leg has because it cost me money Yeah, I don't like that piece of cake doesn't cost me money I don't have to spend money on this cake. Well, you do have to spend money on cake, but not that much money No, but it's like if I'm working. I'm like, yo, this is gonna be a piece of cake. It's like it's not awesome It's nice an arm and a leg is like, ah, yeah

And I like cake way more than I like my arms and legs 100% I would read if someone came in me and they were like, hey listen, dude You can have a bunch of cake right now, but we might have to take your leg I wouldn't do it, but I think about it for a second. Yeah for like, yeah Yeah, what kind of cake? What's your favorite kind of cake cheesecake? sensational Cheesecake is stupid. Cheesecakes. Cheesecake is amazing. Not only should put it hold on cheesecake and then my favorite kind of like Bart day gate is That fun Fetty shit from Fetty for life. You know what I mean? It just looks like a clown like

Pistol over it or whatever just fucking blew a fat clown load on it Yeah, because there's like it's like vanilla icing, but the inside's got that yellow Spon the dunch and then it has like the little like, you know You set off a confetti fire or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah an explosion. It's so nice. Would you ever dress up in the bedroom? I'm not into that. I don't get that. Where does come from? No, because you said a clown ejaculating so that I'm having sex as a clown. No, you're I'm not having sex as a clown No, if like the girl of my dreams was like, hey I need really need you to put on these big shoes and this nose and this wig and really paint that face really well

You can take a half hour and spray me with that seltzer bottle. Yeah, exactly I'd be like, I don't know if I could do this and she's like no use this can and then you open the can and it's just like the Fucking the whatever it is the tissues. They never stop like those kind of tricks. Yeah, I wouldn't be into that Whatever just happened to weird normal weird sex. Yeah, I can't have sex with big pants on in a vest. No It's just not comfortable. I couldn't be a clown. I couldn't be a clown I also just think that we're wasting time if it's like I gotta walk in here and pretend I'm your teacher that's mad at you because you didn't do homework like we just have sex like adults Yeah, like why is we why do we have to make this back in high school? Just have weird

Disgusting normal sex. Yeah, but like someone's getting punched in the face. Yes Hit your head on the fucking nightstand and let's go home. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I don't think I could come as a squirrel a Squirrel dressed up as a squirrel. Oh now we're talking furries. Yeah. Yeah, you know, I don't think I'd come like that Yeah, I mean either like if I'm dressed as like my little pony and you know, I got like a fire tail or something Yeah, that's kind of dope. I'm gonna it's cool to see but it would be cool if humans still had tails, dude I would love a tail. He's so dope dude. If if I had a tail Accessorizing your tail. Oh, you have you would have like a diamond studded tail. Oh my fucking tail would be so fucking And I will be whipping my tail around just saw saw saw and we would find some way to make it hot because it'd be normal

That people had tails like yeah fat butts. Oh, then just sexy ass tail. They just have this long luxurious tail Just flap it. Yeah, and then I'd probably use conditioner because I don't really use too often like every single time But I would condition my tail like you would not believe just washing your tail But like between my legs when your legs pull it up and go like this Yeah, yeah, yeah, you gotta like you're like raising like a sheet. Yeah, I like your leg. Yeah, exactly. I'll be dope Yeah, so we're going piece of cake. I'm going piece of cake. Okay. I agree I crumb cakes also good though. I just wanted to get that out crumb cake is great. You like coffee cake

I love coffee. I think it's great coffee cake. Oh, I get the coffee cake I get coffee cake coffee cake is so good and I went through a phase one time that what's that company that makes them the little ones Little Debbie. No, it's one of those fucking ones Whatever they make these little coffee cakes. I went through a phase. I would get it like every morning I would have breakfast and I get this coffee cake and then coffee cake is also one of those things that like you can't eat without Getting it all over the room. It's the best though because you want to get it all over the place. Yeah Yeah, and then someone I forgot where I was but someone made a coffee cake I think was my aunt made a coffee cake the coffee was like this and the cake was like this yikes. Yeah, but it was good

Because that's just pure sugar on you know, I posted on my Instagram last night Rice Krispies. I've seen that it is The most underrated snack of all time. It's a lovely snack Nobody talks about it in the way that it should and I said listen everybody loves rice Krispy treat everybody But nobody goes out of their way to be like, oh, that's mine. That's my number one That's my number one late night snacky treat. Wow. Yes. Mmm. What's mine? I don't know You know what the only problem with rice Krispy treats is I can't get fucking enough of it I know I know they just turn the air but when they go down there

When you and they also have like a gratifying crunch I'm like, this is so good. Yeah sticky like a little alligator. Yeah. Yeah, like everyone would go for like the smart food popcorn I would go straight. Oh, yeah, I would go straight for that. Remember those bags of muffins Yeah, those are pure sugar. Holy fuck like the chocolate chips in us Yeah Fucking and then the blueberry ones were good. Yeah, dude Yeah, those are fucking nice, dude I used to love those when I was in middle school. I used to eat those like you would not believe I feel like if I had a bag

Right now though, I'd have to go to the doctor with that blue writing on it Mmm-hmm. God damn. They were always like wet kind of yeah, yeah, like they had they were like super moist And I'm like this is this is sugar that shit would melt in your mouth. Yeah, it was a baby muffin All right, we're into the bee bracket now nice Back to square one Barking up the wrong tree Um Back to square one

Or barking up the wrong tree another they're both kind of negative. Yeah, they are but I like barking up the wrong tree Just cuz they're double neggies. Yeah, so I like it. I kind of like barking up the wrong tree You fuck you're barking up the wrong tree. Let me tell you something. You're barking up the wrong tree right now Okay, I'm a tree. You're a dog and you're barking up the wrong tree because let me tell you something though Treating them to hurt nobody no no, but it's squirrel that ran up the tree that they're barking at yeah Yeah, but that's why you're barking up the wrong tree at the wrong squirrel But what does that better saying has a dog ever barked up the wrong tree? That's what you know

Like it's like other squirrels up there being like this is not we weren't the ones that you saw and the next tree over there Yeah, that's not me. We don't know there Yeah, because that's also kind of threatening and I wonder if any dog barked up the wrong tree and then squirrels fucked it up Yeah, that's where this comes from. It's like yo, you're barking up the wrong tree my guy Yeah, you remember what happened to the last guy. You don't want that. I haven't used one Do you even know what happened to the last guy that barked up my tree? Yeah, he's buried under the tree. Yeah, okay We use them as fertilizer. Okay, um and then was it back back where one yeah, I gotta go back to square one But what are the other squares?

How do I get the square to I don't even know what square I'm on now. Yeah, I don't know where am I? What square are you? I? Would like to say and how many squares are there's I Would I feel like I'm at least square like a hundred thirty three Yeah, dude now if you put a number on it going all the way back Yeah, you don't want to talk me to get to the square I'm at now Oh We're barking up the wrong tree barking up the wrong tree sounds cooler. Yeah, I like trees. I like nature

Yes, I like nature and I like dog. I like dogs. Have a dog bark also bark There's bark on a tree. Oh, it's a pun in this bitch Barking up the wrong tree which is covered in bark. Yeah, whoa Double entendre double entendre don't even ask me how I'm gonna go barking. I'm gonna go Back to I'm not gonna say back to square one because I don't know the number of squares And I don't want to have to figure that out because now I'm thinking about it's a math problem now It's a math problem. I don't I hate math. I need more information. Yeah, I need more information for sure. All right, um Next one is

There was something came out of my mouth Yeah, all right Beat around the bush And burst your bubble. I wanted beating and bursting in the same place. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I want to beat I want to burst. Well, that's usually what happens when you beat. Oh you beat then you burst then you definitely burst I'm gonna go beat because I like beating around the bush. I don't like beating around the bush I like it as a saying though like how you're beating around the bush, right? Why are you beating around this bush?

And then how do these saying start though too is just a guy went with a stick and started beating a bush up Well, I think then a snake came out. Well, I think it's like Some kind of creature think about what beating around the bush means it means like just get to the point You're like dancing around there a whole point just make your point already So like is a guy supposed to beat a bush, but he keeps hitting the ground around it doesn't really make sense also Or it could be oh yeah around the bush. Yeah, maybe he's just going like back Yeah, or it's a sexual kind of thing where a guy's walking in a circle around shrubbery beating his penis So I don't know or eating around a vagina which entails some kind of hair situation

Because if you have sex and then don't go down there you're beating around the bush You really think about it Was the other one burst your bubble. Hey, man hate the burst your bubble loves saying that I've never said that you've never said Burst your bubs. I just feel like that's a very khaki wearing Kind of saying it's a it's I mean that same belongs to the whites Yeah, I feel like I have to stand on my stoop and be fully dressed at 8 a.m. And be like neighbor hate to burst your bubble, but hate to burst your bubble But you weren't here in time for the FedEx people so you know I got your package had to sign for you

Yeah, that's what I think of it and I've never been that guy hate to burst your bubble sir, but your receipt is a 31 days old It's a 30-day return Yeah, I'm probably gonna beat around the bush. Yeah, I hate to burst your bubble on that, but I like burst your bubble Use beat around the bush in a set in your best sentence and I'll try to use it in my best sense Well, there's not really a sense like that like yours goes at the beginning of a sentence and then it gets to like a cool thing Mine just goes like don't beat around the bush. Just get to the point. All right. All right threaten me Will me threaten you. Yeah, so I come to you right scenario, right? Right? Yeah, good. I owe you money Yeah, and I'm giving you this fucking sob story. Yeah, all right

Go okay Don't beat around the bush. Give me that would you have the money or not? wall Yeah, bro, yeah now now burst my bubble listen, bro, I hate to burst your bubble, but I don't got it right now Beat around the bush. Yeah Around the bush and seen All right, we're off the seat. Oh, we're off to see off to see a couple pirates Close but no cigar

Cry over spilled milk now Milk has never made me cry. I've never cried. Well actually made me duty It's definitely put some bubbles in this gut. This would be a better saying if it was don't poop over spilled milk Why if you spilled the milk you didn't drink it so you wouldn't be pooping. Yeah, that's right But if you spilled it into your mouth, I'll tell you one time This is actually kind of funny probably the only time I've cried actually cried over spilled milk You've actually cried over spilled milk. Well, I'm gonna tell you the story. Oh I was eating I was a child. I was a children right and I mean cookies and milk used to be a big cookies and milk

I you know double stuffs triple stuffs make a stuffs regular stuffs even the even the thin stuff Yeah, I like that. I like those watch those cows. Yeah, so I like I'll I'll be I was dunking But I was in my chair and just kind of fucking around like this Yeah, I was like leaning back on it and you know the boy was getting a little too Confident and went back too far. So I ended up falling backwards Cookie I Fumbled the cookie in the air and then I ended up falling and then the milk just spilled out of my face and it got into my eyeball And you know milk in your eyeball

Stinks doesn't really so I cried Anything your eyes isn't weird when you're a kid when you're rocking back and forth You have to go just a little bit further back Yeah, you want to play with fire and then just a little bit more and then you're on the back literally on the edges And then you do that thing. We're like whoa. Yeah, you like whoa, dude. Oh, it's fun. That's crazy Yeah, um so that time I cried over spilled milk as I spilled it on my own face into my eyes close But no cigar real fucking asshole thing to say I also don't really know what it means up close But no cigar does that mean that like you gotta get just first place get a cigar. Yeah

It's like a celebratory thing, I guess That's what it is I think yeah, I don't ask the whole way of saying you're wrong No, I am It's like up close put no cigar It's like I fuck you dude. It's like you get whipped sayings out say I'm wrong. Yeah, say lost dick Also, if you come in first place in NASCAR, they give you milk That is true. They spill a lot of it. Yeah, so this and they're not crying. They're celebrating. They might tears of joy, maybe

Don't cry over spilled milk did your parents ever use that with you? No, they just hit me. Yeah, me too They were like, don't cry or I'm gonna hit you again. Yeah, that's what that's what that's I there was no milk involved Yeah, there was no milk. It was just don't cry. Don't you fucking cry. I'll give you another crack. Yeah, exactly I'll get my belt out. Yeah, and then I'll really give you a reason to cry. That's that's a huge one Yeah, exactly, then you'll have a reason to cry. Yeah, and then I threatened to call, you know child services and then I got the belt Yes, so yeah, that was the kind of you know, there was no milk. Yeah, I like I like milk But close but no cigar It's kind of asshole-ish. I think I'm gonna ride with it. All right. You're gonna go cigars. I'm gonna go cigars

I'll go cigars. All right cigars, all right cigars Another animal one curiosity killed the cat and Cut to the chase. Yeah, I'll tell you this Curiosity killed the cat But cats get nine lives make up your minds. Yeah, right? What is this? Is this cat dead? Also, let's let's get this out of the way. I don't want to I don't want to burst anyone's bubble

Cats have one life. Yeah They will die. Yeah, go throw your cat out of a window. Yeah, see how many lives it has Well, it might land on its feet. They're weird like that But I'm saying if I take a shotgun and blast a cat and we're getting demonetized because of that Yeah, it's dead. Yeah, not coming back. Yeah, if I run over your cat It's just not magically gonna fill up like that cat from hocus pocus. All right. Yeah, it's just it is not gonna happen It's not all right. What was the name max or something? I don't know

It's run over by a bus and then somehow all of his bones regenerate and it's bullshit. Yeah, he's not an octopus No, wait an octopus can die and come back to life. No, I think that you could just like run them over and they're like good Or is that a different sea? I don't think anyone's ever ran over an octopus One because they live in the ocean and two They live in the ocean. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah. Yeah, it's a good point. I was close, but no cigar. Yeah, dude I found a fucking Waterbug in my apartment. Okay, this dude was sideways Look dead. I went to grab him fully came back to life with your bear head

No, no, no, no, okay. Okay, I pay a paper towel. Well, and then it became this fucking Who's gonna escape out of here? So it was in my kitchen and I looked down. I said, oh, he's dead. All right I'll crunch him toss him flush him bangs gone. Yeah, so then I'm like, all right, and I go to touch him. He goes Took fucking battle stance. He started playing D. Yeah, and he fucking was going this way I was going this way. I was I tried to grab him once fucking scurried Did you get him? Yeah, I got him. Okay, but I had to step on him With my barefoot

No, you did not yes, I do disgusting free. It was out. It was out of pure fear It was him or me someone had to die that night and it wasn't gonna be me. Yeah, but you got bug on your foot Oh Yeah, I don't like that at all. No, no, no, did you take a shower? Of course, I hopped right in the shower. Yeah, I was I do and I would have stuck my my foot in the toilet Bro, if you would have saw me, I literally was standing up in the shower going like this The water's in the thing. Why am I holding my foot up? And when I tell you

Was it was it a lot of guts? He was everywhere He was all over me Took I took so from it's like stepping on a water balloon because yeah, I looked for things to get him like yeah Yeah, I missed three times and then I just went squaw Dude that is disgusting. I would literally do most things out I would move out and let him live there before I stepped on it with my barefoot dude I felt you want to know what it was. I felt like barbaric after Oh, yeah, you are yeah, I was like, ah

You scream to the to the skies. Yeah, it was like gladiator. I felt like Russell Crowe. Yeah, I'm Maximus meridious Fuck his name isn't it? Yeah, what we do now Husband to a murdered wife Father to a murdered boy. Let me walk by this wheat field and touch it slowly What came it's fucked dude. Yeah. Yeah, fuck the sister too. Yeah banged his sister out love his sister. Yeah But yeah, man, I fucking killed that dude. Yeah, that's disgusting. Why did we talk about that? I don't know

Um, here we go. Oh, I'm curious. We killed the cat because listen man. Curiosity How does that kill a cat unless it's like sticking its fingers into like outlets and I think it has to mean like This this show is so dumb This is the dumbest show. I love it. We sound so dumb, but it's true when you really think about it though What does that mean? Why is it why is it created? Listen? I don't want to throw my high school Curiosity killed babies. Yes, that cat. Yeah, babies. They eat and humans tied pods by accident and adults like soap Yeah, and adults curiosity people are like, I wonder what it looks like if I take a picture next to the Grand Canyon You're dead. Yeah, I wonder what it's like if I base jump off of this thing with no parachute dead. You're dead. You're dead

Curiosity, I wonder what it's like if I drive my car my eyes closed dad. Are you I'm curious How's how cold is it? I'm on Everest frozen dead. Yeah frozen dead, which is worse than regular dead. Oh, hey That's a volcano. I wonder what's in there hot dead hot dead very hot dead. Yeah, so Curiosity kills the humans doesn't kill the cat. Yeah, they were giving cats a bad rap And they live better than we can the dogs kill the cats. Yeah, and also just old-age Wrong tree and kill a cat or maybe, you know, Frankie's cat had cancer Cancer killed the cat cancer killed the cat along probably a bunch of other medical issues. Yeah Curiosity doesn't really kill cats to cat like died. Maybe die be a

Do you know you want to die a big Diabetes cat. Yes, I die a better cat I'm gonna go cut to the chase I Like cut to the chase cuz it's like all right. Let's get let's get there Let's get let's get there. Don't beat around the bush cut to the chase Doubling up. Don't beat around the bush. Just cut to the chase. What's it? What's the chase the chase the good part of the show? All this lead up dude get to the chase. I want to see some danger some cars exploding some some cats dying yeah

Yeah, look me in the eyes right now. Yeah, I Could never date someone that had primarily cats What was the word that you just said primarily? Yeah, but you didn't you said primarily no way I said primarily I thought you were saying they were like pre married to a cat at first So if they just had like three cats no way, yeah, I don't know if I could either one. I'm partially allergic to one I'm super allergic Yeah, so I'd walk in there and be like hey, this is great and as soon as I took my shirt off I would have hives all over my body

Yeah, and I hate that like how they like jump on arms of couches while you're sitting there It's like fair. Yeah, like I'm trying to watch the game and then this fucking catchers like suck Yeah, I'm like chill weird or like you go to get a drink of water and you open up the fridge And they're like in there and it's like yo your cats behind the orange juice. Do you know this? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah, he does that he likes to be cool. Well you get fucking mr. Bojangles out of there. Yeah, and I hate the way cats look at you Yeah, like you like you did like they know secrets about you. So you're just fuck my roommate. Yeah, what are you doing? Yeah, you know, it's like yo get this fucking and then the cats they like just hang out in weird spots and like there's

Litter boxes it smells like piss. Oh, yeah, and we're talking about domestic cats here lions and shit or dope. Oh Yeah, that's a whole nother level different kind of cat. Also curiosity ain't killing that cat curiosity is not even getting cool Not even anything is getting happening. No way. No way But I just kill a lion's gonna have to be a poacher like an elephant or something crazy like a cheetah Or another lion But it's like I just don't like the way cats appear out of nowhere sometimes And they do that weird thing where they run back and forth in the house or they Chased lights. Yeah, chase the laser beams or whatever the bug and they always let out that little weird noise upon like impact

I don't like cats and they hurt you. Yeah, and they do this thing Yeah Yo, you're gonna throw throw bro. Yeah, don't do this like half jab. Yeah, follow through cat fucking smack me up Throw this shit, you know me those Yeah, yeah, and they bounce Cats are herbs fuck cats fuck cats bro all cats watching this fuck y'all. Yeah, bro unsubscribe You fucking cat All right chase

Okay. All right miscellaneous now we're getting the us brother miscellaneous. Okay Got some stuff. Oh Love that. It's a huge one. She's got some stuff. It's just it's it's it's you know for everything It started as like, you know when we talk about some people who have some stuff the kid is the kid to slap my dog Yeah, he had some stuff that's some stuff, but also the doctor. She had stuff. She had some stuff She had some stuff. Yeah. Yeah, good stuff. Yeah, great Yeah Stupendous stuff. No, but I like I like stuff a lot. What's that going up against? Here's why

That's a staple kind of a big bopper. It's a big popper, you know, it's just here's why it's just a great sentence to add to why You're gonna explain something. Mmm. I have a reason why I'm making the choice that I'm making. Yeah, go for it. I'm going Stuff Because Although here's why is a stape. Yeah Only really you say that that's true. We both stuff. That's true. We stuff a lot. We got stuff. Yeah, we double stuff Yeah, so I'm gonna go stuff. I'm gonna go stuff. I'm going stuff. I love stuff you know

What we both said, you know at the same time, dude, that's so cute. Yeah, we both got some stuff Yeah, all right. Next one is that's fire Yeah, it is. I mean, it's fire. It's fire. That one's fire. And then what's the other one? We'll fix it in post. Oh Yeah We'll fix it in post is in a lot of shit. Yeah That's fire isn't a lot of shit. We're gonna have to fix that cat thing in post I said I was gonna shoot a cat with a shotgun. Yeah, I'm leaving that but um, I

Love that's fire because we're very animated when we use it. That's fire Yeah Yeah, but also fix it in post like It's such a great cap to a joke. Yeah, it's like We'll fix it post. Yeah, I probably shouldn't say that. Yeah, I probably yeah fix it post and then we don't and then we never do I think That's fire is dope, but it's like kind of more widely used. Yeah fix it Fix it in post is our shit. Yeah, you know what I mean? So we may have to fix it in post that. Yeah, all right

Let's fix it All right, hold on before we get this now. It's the second round. Yeah, it's the second round before we get to the second round Let's get to this the Spanish Chrissy Chrissy the sponsors Okay, we're having a fucking wire. He's wearing a wire pussy All right, so the first sponsor we have for today is Indochino custom menswear, okay You get to choose from hundreds of high-quality suit fabrics. You pick the color pattern Weight you like the best and then you choose all your personal touches. So like the lapel the fucking lining monogram

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All right, so next I pee go pee man. Go go pee it up, but don't you dare take longer than this Yeah, you literally knocked out the the fucking the headphones so I can't even hear myself Danny's on the ground by the way, Danny's Oh my god, oh dude. Oh god, that was so funny. I can't wait to watch that back. Oh Okay, next we have Buffy a buffy makes super soft earth-friendly bedding because a coffee night's sleep is even Comfier when it doesn't harm the environment. Okay, everything is made from ultra smooth eucalyptus fiber that no one knows what it is But it's softer than cotton. It's breathable cool to the touch

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Sometimes it's easier just to commit to the fall because it might hurt more to stay up Yeah, you know start twisting tendons and stuff That was fucking hilarious. Yeah the sound you made Ah It's great. All right, we're in the second round. All right Chip on your shoulder or piece of cake both food related I don't you know, I just ate my bottom lip You know what people are gonna do to you they're gonna have so many sayings that probably should have made it

Yeah in the comment section argue about it. Yeah, I would say piece of cake piece of cake I'm gonna start using it. It's just happier. Yeah, I like piece of cake. It's piece of cake. It's a piece of cake It's happier. It makes me feel good. I'm gonna start using it when I'm betting. I love to make myself feel better I love cake like oh AJ Brown three and a half receptions I'm taking the over piece of cake and then lose he he didn't have three and a half. Oh dude Sucked I lost every dollar that I bet on that game told you bet that nuggets game. Yeah, I you know, I just didn't but I was afraid. What can you do? I did win a bet though. I won one the entire weekend, but I only put I put in like six I lost five

Just letting you know right now. I have to go to the bathroom so bad poopy. Yeah, but I'm gonna I'm gonna come out the front. Yeah, I have to poop from my face Yeah, but I'm gonna tough it out, but there might be a couple farts in here Just letting everybody know turn your turn your volume up. Okay. All right. Yeah, so we're going with cake Music cake chip on your shoulder. You sound like a fucking asshole all the time. Yeah, nobody wants a chip on their shoulder You dick. Yeah. All right. Take that take that in your heart on your sleeve. Whatever the fuck that means. Yeah, what? Where your heart in your sleeve? I wear my heart on my sleeve. I'm like Yeah, shut up. You can wear it on your chest. You can just leave it where it is. Yeah, it's unhealthy

Yeah, idiots dangerous All right, what do I got down there We have barking up the wrong tree. Oh It's a shrubbery show off. Oh What is it? I'll beat around the bush around the bush or bark up the wrong tree. That's tough shrubberies Shrubbery, how is this working out where they're lining up and being the same thing just food and shrub. Yeah shrubby food. Oh Be it on the bush or bark up the wrong tree. I

Love to beat I like beating I like beating. Yeah Let's do that Yeah, we'll be around the bush beat around the bush I'm beat around a couple bushes in my day beat the bush. Yeah I was that was a fart. I mean, I thought it you know, I did that to make me feel more comfortable about what's going on in my body Right. Yeah, dude blow it up. I've only had almonds and coffee today. That's why I have to duty. Yeah Yeah Okay, you took it to another level Okay, what are we going? Oh, we're going cigars or chase close, but no cigar or cut to the chase

Hate both of them. I don't I don't like either of these. I think they're both just obnoxious pieces of shit Yeah, but no cigar somebody says that to me I'm gonna punch you in the face Not only saying I'm losing but you were like, oh You were close buggy bitch buggy. All right. You want to cut to the chase? I'll cut to the chase cut to the chase are cool, but I don't want to get chased because I'll get very tired. Yeah Nobody chased me please God nobody chased me Because I will get very tired. I will get very tired. All right, so now this is gonna be a tough one Got some stuff. Mm-hmm versus fix it in post

Clash of the tights That's some stuff Hmm, you know what it is I have a recency bias with that that's a bit stuff. I love this stuff I love stuff. I love stuff. I got some stuff. You know what it is. It's just so universal I know it's a for anything. It's a banger for sure fix it in post is like a great show stuff Like I won't say that outside but I'll say they got some stuff. They got yeah got some serious stuff. Yeah You can say it about a store too. So I was at Trader Joe's like they got stuff. They got some stuff in there Yeah, it's exactly like and you're like yeah, they do and then also if you're in in drug territory

Got the stuff. Yeah, you got some, you know, or he you know, he does some stuff. Yeah I don't know. He does some stuff does some stuff aside. He's got side stuff He's gonna get you know secret stuff secret stuff secret stuff Secret stuff. Yeah space gym going with stuff going with stuff not even close. Yeah, all right cake versus Bush Edible shrubbery Piece of cake piece of cake piece of cake. It's a piece of yo piece of cake is you want to know what that was

That was a piece of cake. That was a piece of cake wasn't even close not even close Roll in with the cake don't even ask me this next one the cake rolls on cut to the chase and some stuff You already know the stuff stuff is beating the chase 100% now. We got cake stuff I love cake stuff Cuz cakes got stuff. It's a piece of cake Some stuff God's heart Piece of cake Honestly, I like I would have thought this be a piece of cake, but it's not but it's not

Yeah, so we have to beat around the bush a little you got to beat around the bush and listen all you cake people I don't mean to burst your bubble here. Yeah, but Cakes are a diamond dozen You know what I'm saying. Yeah stuff is stuff's rare, you know and and and for me a Cake could potentially cost you an arm and a leg Yeah, you try to incorporate all these things Let's just cut to the chase and make a decision Let's go back to square one here. All right, so I'm gonna go with yeah

I mean I've listened either way this goes. I'm not gonna cry over spilled milk You know what I mean? No, of course not you can't because if you did that, you know, it would be uh, you know what? Here's why yeah, yeah, why? I'm trying to fucking things, but you're right like a fucking don't even know I did post the other day that I have an eighth grade education You have a it's showing second grade handwriting. It's showing right now chicken scratch Yeah, you have a second grade of blind broken-arm child's handwriting. Thanks, man. You're welcome My vote is for stuff got some stuff

Got stuff you got a piece of cake, but cake could be stuff which means oh that stuff was a piece of cake He's got stuff curveball Honestly honestly Honestly, it's a piece of cake because it is stuff Stuff wins so you're going what you're going with stuff. I'm going with stuff confident with stuff I'm confident with stuff because here's the thing right a piece of cake can only refer to Something that's easy. Yeah, right stuff's good and bad life's hard Life's hard sometimes hard stuff happens and and also what if we didn't if you say to me like yeah

What's going on with you? I should be like Stuff got some stuff you could use it there, too And then it you know what it promotes discussion Yeah, and not only but you know if I said how's it going you said it's a piece of cake. I'd be like fuck this guy He's too happy. Yeah, you know. Yeah, mm-hmm You know unanimous stuff stuff wins stuff wins got some stuff Got some stuff is the thing is the saying of 2020 now. We got to put it on a shirt some stuff shirt. Yeah, dude It's a shirt. This is got some stuff. I got some stuff. Yeah, you know

Fantastic fantasmic got some stuff. Look at stars around it got some stuff Is the winner? Yeah of the 2020 saying off annual shirt, whatever We got to make shirts now. Yeah, you just put a lot of like can I see this real quick? Yeah. Yeah Anyway In the way in the way I'm gonna leave this I'm gonna leave this you're gonna leave who keep making me feel bad Why I must have detached myself from the family here my family just like fucking Meghan Markle Did Santa God Studios family? Oh, no, you're not also wait good point

First of all, Meghan Markle before we get into anything about her. What a beautiful woman beautiful face lady beautiful face lady Beautiful face lady Is he bald he's bald ding he's bald ding which is kind of even more gross than being baldy. Yeah, Balding but he Yeah, so the the Meghan Markle and Prince Harry. I think those are their names they're Detaching themselves from the royal family good for them. I'm gonna say stupid

Okay, hit me. We have two sides of the argument here. We have royalty, but you're still gonna be royalty though, but you're not That's kind of more that's God level shit for me to be like y'all I'm royalty and like I don't even need that shit And you know what they had to wait till 2020 to be able to do that because I'm pretty sure if you tried to do that back When there was like pyramids around and shit, they throw you in a fire They'd stone you to death. Yeah, and then poop in your crown. Yeah They bury you up to your neck and then piss on your face This is what I understand. Yeah, he's a prince, right? He's a prince. They're married, right? Yes, he a princess. I think she's a duchess. Well, what the fuck is that?

I don't know what a duchess is. Yeah, I don't know what a duchess. I know a Dutch cracker open Then I'm saying that thing. Whoa. She rolling blunts in there. I don't know. She is personal blunt roller that could be it Duchess of York The Duchess of Bay Ridge Duchess of Bay Ridge. She's still in jail. Oh One of those bitches who went to jail the Duchess of New Jersey or some shit. Wait, I don't know. What are you talking about? Have you ever watched Real Housewives? No It's whack Amazing television, right? I know because it's guilty pleasure TV. Yeah, it's like Tony. I fucking told you

Yeah, and they just fucking screaming at each other and they fight each other Yeah, their husband's fight. It's great. Yeah, it's fantastic TV. I'm just like Not into that. I can't keep up with like all this stuff Not that stuff they all I got some stuff. Oh those people all have stuff 100% full of stuff Yeah, like their stuff is is bad double stuff. Yeah, but yeah I mean, I guess it's kind of cool to me to be like, yeah, like we don't need this shit Let's go be happy. It's kind of deal to be a broccoli in this shit. Yeah, like They probably have a very

Structured and regimented way of like living like you have to like be at a certain place and like stand up straight and have proper manners And like it's all very like robotic and it's dated also. It's just outdated. I have another theory though Megan Markle's pussy is so good. Oh god that this dude was willing to not be a prince anymore to hit that puss There's also make you do some wild shit. I think there's a more elegant way of saying it No, she got that back dog that bomb-ass pussy That bad She's not the bat. I don't doubt that she's a beautiful woman, but what I'm saying is like this she is not

like she wasn't a Duchess or princess or Fucking TNT show about like pilots or some shit Yeah, so I think that she is like a no like a normal person for lack of a better term But these like royalty peeps mm-hmm are like, you know, they're all a certain way Like they you know, there's people walking around your house with swords and you're like, what is this? What am I on a pirate ship? What is this bro? Are you gonna denounce yourself as a prince? I Don't think the vagina ain't where it's supposed to be that's not what I'm saying

That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is I think he loves his wife And I think that he's like Cuz I isn't pretty the one who's to get like hammered drunk and like getting trouble and shit Yeah, so I think he just wants to be a normal dude He doesn't want to have to like march around the hallways of his fucking house Yeah, like can I just go get a glass of milk without having to salute every fucking person on the way there? Yeah, I don't know. She's got to be sucking that thing clean off. That's just how I feel about it. I just think that She's hot too

We get it I'm a very sex-driven man. I'm sorry clearly Yeah, but you know how you don't think about the fact that like, you know, there's people walking around with like I break it down to the foundation of things. That's one of them But there has to be something going on there for you to just not be a prince anymore. I'm sorry I don't even know what that exactly means. I think that he's just not I think they gave up their like air To the whatever like they still have the money. Yeah, of course. They're still dripped out. I think I don't know Maybe they're cut off the Queen's definitely pissed. Yeah, that bitch tight

Yeah, there was a video of her driving. She was driving herself, which is I thought was kind of like crazy But she was driving and like she didn't look happy. No, so she probably doesn't like Meghan Markle Probably not she's like, oh my god. She's really really hope there's no racy stuff going on in there. Why? Oh, yeah, she's like half black. Yeah No, I don't think that's it. I hope that's like not one of the main reasons No, I just think that when someone comes in and throws off the whole dynamic of your royal family, then you're like, oh, that's what I'm saying Yeah, but who cares? I think I'm right. You're right, too, but we're both right. I don't know what we're saying What are we who's right about what I honestly forgot? Okay

Um Yeah, but I think that I You know, we've said it multiple times on the show Like I think it's just weird that there's like royalty and like this and that like it's just strange but Yeah, I think it's because they just want to be normal people like I think that she's not really used to it Like maybe he's used to it. He's like this is the life. I'm living but then she opened his world to being like Dude, this is like crazy to for us to be doing this stuff and like we have to

Drink tea a certain way and like there's really a bunch of that stuff like on those etiquette classes where you have to like You know you not put your elbows on the table when you eat all these things And you can't say certain things in the way that you whatever and I didn't you like aren't you not allowed to look the queen in the Eye, yeah, you can't look at that bitch Yeah, so like these are all weird like not normal things out in the real world So I think that she was just kind of like dude. Can we just like I fucking look at your grandma, bro What the fuck yeah, man, I just wish it my do so am I gonna turn into stone the fuck is going on? Yeah, no, but I think that they you said Medusa so fucking Queens Medusa

Medusa, what is she fucking Medusa? Who's that bitch? What the fuck is this bitch? Medusa get Medusa out of you Medusa. No, but I think I think that's what it was. I think she was like, yeah I just want to be a normal purse We all want to be normal purses. Yeah, like I think being royalty would get old pretty quick Yeah, I mean he's been royalty for what 30 something years Yeah, and if you can keep the money and not have to be like good for her though. Shake that shit up, yo Yeah, you'll shake up the house shake up the castle shake the block. Did they live in a castle? Yes See even that but it's like a modernized castle. I think yeah, I could be wrong. Could be why you have guards. I mean

You should have let's be honest. I don't know if I should go down this road actually Yeah, let's not I was gonna say something something weird. Yeah, let's not say it. Okay. I was gonna say like obviously obviously Kidnapping is bad. Yes, but here's what I'll say is anyone actively trying to kidnap the queen or Like killer because what would that do like I get back in the day and listen I'm not saying the Queen's not like a prize. She's a prize. She's a great woman. I love the Queen love the Queen Love her, but what I'm saying is back in the day. I don't know the Queen

Back in the day show come on show Queen Queen Elizabeth. It's my mom's name. There you go bonding But back in the day if you like killed a Queen it like meant it would be like killing a president or be like killing like whatever You know something like that, but like with the Queen there's not really a territorial like thing with it anymore It's like, you know, you know, it's nice that there's a Queen like whatever, but it's like is the castle with the constant Guards and like all that stuff like necessary. No, it's not but it's tradition and that's why they do it. Yeah, you know That's what I'm saying. I don't think anyone should like think it's like crazy that mega Marco and Prince Harry like dude I don't want to wear this coat. I don't think that's crazy. I'm just trying to figure out why they did it

I think they just want to wear t-shirts and not have to wear like a fucking a gown and and one of those like Army suits with all these badges that you didn't earn on it. I wonder if they'll move to a murder car Maybe that'd be nice for them Maybe they're just gonna be like a normal, you know, I gonna have like a stained t-shirt Oh, and you know TMZ is gonna catch him. He's gonna be like, yeah, you know Coming out of like a weed dispensary. Yeah, he wants to just be a normal guy Good for them. Yeah, good for me norms good for love good for love good for love. Oh love wins. I gotta say this There's a white hair. Yeah on the top of your head where in the front. Yeah, you're there dude. Yeah

Your shit's turning white. Yeah Holy fuck, I'm not foxing yet. You're gonna be in the next year or so. No, yeah, no This has been like this for a while. No, no, no Yes in a year or two you might be a little foxy up there. No, which is fine. You know, that's hot But you're gonna be in your 20s. It's kind of weird. No, I'm not gonna be foxy, dude I'm telling you and like I listen. I'd be honest with you if I would but I've had like Davino shit No, yeah, but like Davino's been like that since we were like 16 He's had white hair since 16 he's had some

But it's like noticeable Since we were like 18 years old. Are you are you gonna self-consciously pluck that hair? No, I Think it's hot. I have a lot on the side. Yeah, you have do have you have that's the thing Like I've had white hairs for like three years like I've been like oh shit I can see white hairs, but they don't like it doesn't like it progressively crazy worse I have one white hair and it grows out of my beard. My beard gets like red. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Get those Once I'm had a long beard and some girls like oh you have the sex gene

I was like what and she was the sex gene. What was that? Apparently she's like it's not like sex and I was like, okay What is it? It was a drunk girl on a bar. So I was like already kind of yeah, all right information is skewed Yeah, but she was like if you have red that comes out of your beard. It's like a sex gene But it's spelled like sec s or something. I don't know, but I was like, okay, cool Thank you See ya

It was weird But that's that's that but you think I'm gonna be a silver fox. Yeah, you're gonna get silver foxy Every CEO has to be a silver fox. No, man. Not in their 20s. Yeah, man I'm gonna have little dips and dots for sure. What do you turn in thirds? I'll be 28 in a month and then two years after that. Wow, you still got some time dude. Yeah, I Turn 31 in like eight minutes Yeah What's today's date today's date is the 12th, but by the time this comes out

It'll be like the 18th. It's the 13th. Oh 13th my days are all fucked up man. Yeah, man. You got 17 days That one legitimately sound like you shit your pants that one sounded bad Apparently I farted like twice all bunch and I didn't know that no Yeah, man, I'll be 31 years old dude. Yeah, brother When do you think do you think you're still in your prime? Yeah, for sure When do you when is your prime end? I look at everything like max contracts of sports, right? Okay, so you still could play 32 Well, probably I'll start teetering out of my prime a little bit by the time you're 34 by the time of 34

You know, I'll probably knock somebody up you know like and Be like, okay, I'm content with life Mm-hmm, you know, all right, like 34 is a good age. It's good age, you know Because it's different guys are different from women. You know what I'm saying Yeah, cuz like they have their their biological clock and stuff like that like I could bust loads forever Not forever. That's true. Eventually. It's gonna turn into dust. Yeah, it's partially dust now What you have partial dust stuff

Okay I Don't know What are you doing what you're all giddy and horny? I don't know. Don't be fucking horny in front of me. You're really close. You're really close to me You're I'm I'm in an arms length distance. It's fine And if you're again, I could feel your energy now because now I'm feeling it in my legs There's blood starting to pump in me. See I'm getting you fucking riled up. Yeah, dude. Whoa over there. You're sending me vibes

I know I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm I'm I really have to sit in separate rooms. I know for a little bit. I radiate. I apologize. Yeah, you do I radiate Yeah, but yeah, I Think I'll be out of my prime in like 34 35. I like to that's why I'm in the gym now because I need to be out of You need to get into it. I need to get into my pride You know like you know they you want to like how they exile mellow for a couple of like years He came back and he's like, oh, I still got it. I still got it. That's what I want to do Right, you want to come back? Yeah, Carmelo Anthony is my life

Right, so I'm trying to like do that Gotcha, okay What do you think your prime is you're in your prime right now fucking bitch? I don't think I'm in my prime I think I need to get into it though. I do think that this year. I'll be in my prime Yeah, I think by the summer. I'll be in my prime. Okay, and then it'll last until I'm like 31 and then after that, I'm gonna let it all go. Yeah, you know, yeah, it's making a mistake It's gonna be let go Unless I'm rich enough to have a chef

Which I think you will be I hope so if I'm rich enough that rich enough to have a chef that I'm gonna be a hot four-year-old white hair Tessels all around Tesla's yeah chains. I'm gonna have like little kids running around like kids just running jumping a little rich assholes That'd be great. Yeah, I want my kids to be little rich dicks. Yeah, and I want to I want to hit them because they they bully kids Drive them up to the house and beat them in front of the kid They beat up. Yeah set up boxing matches between like, you know The kids my brother Jared used to make me and Mike fight each other in a room and he's put jock jams on, you know Yo, do you know what happened one time?

We were at my cousin's house me and Keith like arguing and then like our cousins like Organized a fight between us and we were we fought who won. I don't remember but like we were hurting each other We were hurting each other like we were swinging as hard as we could at each other and my dad came down and Saw that fucking flipped out probably dude Kick the ever-loving shit out of Thomas Because because Thomas he was like, you know how the fuck are you gonna let your brothers do this? Yeah in front of like all your cousins or whatever because everyone was like egging them on and he was talking to my other cousins like And you fucking idiots too

But uh, you know I used to weird stuff when I was a kid when I was took you downstairs Made you guys fight like fucking Sherlock Holmes We were like arguing and they were like, oh, you know them say that and just like when you're a kid like all that stuff gets in Your head, and you're just like yeah, I'm just swinging on this kid. Am I really gonna let him say that yeah And what am I going to let him say? Yeah But there was I just do weird stuff He's to go to my cousin's house and like me and Keith would the entire time like you'd be like thanksgiving and like before dinner We'd play like four hours of mini basketball hoop that would go behind your door gets aggressive pouring sweat

Yeah, it's aggressive my parents book the hell you do where what were you doing fucking out here slamming at home? Yeah, dude. I'm dunking on Keith. That's what I'm doing posterizing Keith. Yeah, it's kind of dope going flying into closets and shit Like it was crazy, man You guys definitely put each other through some walls growing up big time. Yeah. Yeah, if you have boys, you're gonna have new walls It's how it works at some point. Yeah, Keith's like don't like Keith was like a fucking maniac. We were younger and used to like You know because he was like a strong kid Yeah, fucking throw me around and I'd be flying into walls and shit. He was like the Johnny Knoxville story base. Yeah Yeah, yes, a hundred percent. That is a great way of just absolutely fearless being like you let's I'll do it

You know like it's just crazy One time a dresser fell on me. Yeah, that hurt TV fell on me once That's good. Yeah, one of those big bootied ones. You know what Keith used to do We had a bunk bed in our room and used to get on the top bunk and then stick his head out And let the fan hit his head think think think think think Explains a lot explains a ton explains a ton and he'd be like you do it And I get up there and I'd be too like vagina to do it So I was always vagina in those like kind of situations. Yeah, I wasn't vagina. I was logical. I'm like no

I wasn't logical. I was just vagina. Yeah, I was a logical vagina I went to Disney World when I was younger and I had to ride with my mom on every ride because I was so vagina Yeah, it's okay but People are gonna get mad that we're using vagina to say scared Vagina don't be a vagina to say vagina. Yeah, like if you're gonna get upset that I said that you're being vagina Yeah, you kind of being gyny. Yeah You're being gyny exactly little gyny. I'm just saying it came off a little gyny

I'm just saying the way you said that your tone of voice you joined them a little bit It was a little giant. Yeah, you joined them a little bit. So that you joined it up. No, no, no the drinks on the house They're giant you joined them a little bit. Yeah Little bit. Yeah, and I don't need that fucking comment. I know I'm gonna get it. I should have brought it up actually Vaginas can withstand a lot and they give but we know we know Yeah, dude, we're on team vagina love puss. Yeah, but also we acknowledge that women are unicorns and like, you know The whole birth thing is just absolutely. They're majestic creatures the most majestic creatures I've been on record that saying the female anatomy is my favorite thing on earth. Yeah, that's my favorite anatomy. It's amazing

Yeah, it's fucking majestic. Yeah, also but also You know the fact that I can't go on Splash Mountain without my mom sitting next to me and I started crying even though She was sitting next to me and I was screaming. That's a little giant. Yeah, that's a little yeah, that's that's giny behavior That's giny behavior. That's giny Joe Johnny Joe Johnny Joe Man, I'm so mad. You said that cuz I love it. Johnny Joe Johnny Joe Johnny Joe's here No, I don't want to do that Johnny Joe

Yeah, so kill you just having the name Joe makes everything better though. Yeah, but also it's a giny Danny No, but you can say giny D. Johnny D Cool D. Johnny D. That's the thing about our names like our Johnny Josh Johnny Josh. That sounds good, too Yeah, I don't think he's Jaina though. No, he's not he's not you know, um, I'm Jaina. Yeah, you're big Jaina. Yeah Ninth wonder of the world Jaina I Like how Donald Trump says China Jaina Jaina the Great Wall of Jaina

Well, yeah, that is cool made in China. We should make a vagina museum and call it the Great Wall of Jaina But what we put in it pictures of puss and what about sculptures artistic pictures of puss Yeah, not just like iPhone pictures. Yeah, we're talking about like are cool Yeah, cool, but it's not it's not like a you know, yeah, I'm not gonna blow it up and put it on my wall Yeah, I'm talking about one. That's like professionally done. There's lighting kits around. Yeah, or like a like a seashell That looks exactly like a labia Yeah, that can make it in there or like a like an old Eskimo who was frozen in the snow, right?

But the only thing that was preserved was her vagina. Jaina. So we put her on display, right? I'm loving building this museum right now. Yeah, I don't even know what it looks like We need rustic vagina too. Oh, well, yeah, yeah, it needs to be like in a bush Yeah, yeah, not a few bush like an old bush an old bush like this is the this is an 1800s of vagina Right, and then we would have that like like an evolution of vagina Yes, we have that one. We have a wall. That's just like here's how vagina is started And you know what I think about and they're now, you know, humans used to be small Yeah, you think vaginas were small

I think vaginas were smaller and and they've grown as as that as the the penis has grown So you think like a hundred years from now we're talking big vaginas No, we're talking a hundred years from now huge Giants huge Giants huge Giants sensation Taking over the world. I mean, but a giant can only get so big before it becomes an issue That's what you think. No, that's what I know because imagine a giant that comes up to your waistline You'd have to only wear high-waisted jeans. You would have a giant like that. Yeah, you'd have a waistline giant Yeah, a waistline giant Yeah, and then you have to like strap it in. What about oh, that'd be terrible

That sounds painful. What the hell are we talking? I have no idea. I'd pay admission to go to this I would go to this evolution of post museum Mm-hmm Fine Jaina Fine Jain fine Jaina make everything good guys good people good vaginas Good people better vaginas Yeah Shit well

What happened? I don't know we kind of went down a black hole there. Yeah, we did we were just going yeah We're just going haven't been to a museum in a very long time though. I love museums. I really want to go to a couple actually I want to go to the The American Gangster Museum In New York City I didn't even know that was a museum. Have you ever been to the Cloisters the Cloisters. Yeah, it's a In Washington Heights. What is it? It's a great museum. What is it? It like has I mean, I can't really explain it because I don't want to sound stupid

But what is it? Is it like history? Yeah, and it's like sculptures and shit. It's like it's the actual like fucking What's the word architecture of building is like very well known. It's a cool place to go. Okay, I Haven't been to the MoMA in a long time either. Yeah, go there and see like I like the Guggenheim You know Guggenheim is tight. Yeah, I'll staircase. It's fine. Love spiral staircases love spiral staircases All right, cool, I think we can wrap this up Okay, Jesus Christ, I'm sorry that we're gonna have to edit and post why I don't know we're not sorry Anyway, Johnny D. Where can they find you?

You can find me at Johnny D on Instagram and Twitter. Nah, just go to at Daniel a priori on Instagram and Twitter Real quick thing. I just wanted to say I just wanted to thank Joe for Blessing us with some some chains and bringing us up making us feel like a real team in this bitch Joe's done a lot for me over the last year and a half two years So I'm just happy to be along on this ride and we're getting ready to do a lot of stuff in 2020 Last stuff a lot of stuff a lot of stuff and it was good to see everybody in a room It made it feel very real and You know, you know, I'm going through a lot of my life right now. So it's it's something that I'm

Very lucky to have your support out damn about the cry I'm very thankful for your support. Hey Thanks, I love you buddy. Johnny. Johnny. This is Johnny. It's getting Johnny. Sorry. No, it's cool. Thanks Anyway This is stuff I got stuff oh man, I got stuff every tear that was about to come out. She got sucked right in Yeah, I'll tell you that I To save you gotta save it. Um, yeah, you guys can go follow the basement at at the basement on Instagram Also, go check out the morning meeting. It's a show we do every Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday on our patreon patreon.com

slash the basement yard so go check that out and Go check out other people's lives coming back January 30th, which I think it'll this will be around. It's also my birthday you fucking asshole Um, huh? God everything's about Danny thrilled yeah Jine Anyway, yes, that is all we'll see you guys next time. Oh, you know what go leave a rating and review on iTunes

Yeah, give us five stars you whores Go do that. Okay, because that helps us climb charts. Yeah, whatever that means makes me feel good for a sec Yeah, man, please gratify me cuz he doesn't yeah Someone tell Danny's doing a good job. Please God. All right. See you guys next time