The Basement Yard - #237 - Please Tell Me She's Dead...

Episode Date: April 13, 2020

On this episode, we discuss kissing our dads, fake sleeping, the Kennedy curse and a stabbing...enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Guys go check out our patreon where you can get our daily morning show and next week's episode today You want to do the intro? Yep. All right, go kill it Welcome back to the basement yard. It's Danny, and I'm not ugly Yeah, why are you saying this? Because everybody like an episode or two ago was saying like oh man Danny looks like shit. First of all I just got finished working out. Okay. Wow That's why my hair is all frizzily and that's why I had a headband on and then I got right into the show a Multitasking this quarantine because if I don't I'm gonna become a fat jelly boy again

And then everyone's gonna be like oh weren't you that guy that was fat, and they got skinny that got fat, and then I'm gonna be like yeah So that's so that's where this is coming from. I didn't see any of these comments by the way Yeah, yeah, cuz you don't read comments cuz you're a psycho person who's immune to outside interference No, I just I I don't know I I mean I read some comments I don't just like go in depth and like you know I'm not pages deep trying to find the one person that goes Joe's gay though. Oh, it would be great if it was one it was like If it was one if it was one I let it go, but there was so I honestly they were like oh my god Danny looks so sit

Oh my god. Oh my god. A lot of people said you look like an ugly freak. Yeah, they're like, oh Danny It's corona. I was just like yeah, I don't first of all Yeah funny joke Funny joke, but yeah welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard guys also. Yeah, man I will say this one positive so far from The fucking the virus is that I'm starting to get like sick of social media. Oh It's the worst. I barely open Instagram anymore like I'm like I don't even enjoy like I genuinely I think I hate it now Like I'm just like oh my god

Enough of this because you were able to like turn it off and at least I go get a break But now you can't get a break from it. So I feel like I'm starting to realize how stupid it is You know many times I've refreshed Instagram and just saw the same fucking photo and now I just a hundred times I just hate everyone. I'm like off this fucking guy again posted another story doing what? Make it a smoothie. Yeah. Yeah, I just uh for some reason I think Instagram lives are gonna help me. They don't they don't They make me sad that's another thing everyone in their mother is going on Instagram live now Yeah, and it's just like like everyone the other day

I had four or five people on Instagram live at once on my feed. I was just like I'm deleting this Yeah, it's kind of yes The thing that's getting this the scariest thing is that Now it's really starting to be like I wake up in the morning and I'm like yo What the fuck am I gonna do today? I know man And even if it's like yo like because me me and you've been texting back and forth being like yeah Like you know like you know read some books like go outside for walks

It's like yo, I'm doing all that and I'm still fucking losing it. I Saw the most beautifully sad thing yesterday. I went for a fucking long-ass walk yesterday and I saw a little boy Riding a tricycle with a face mask on And I was like wait wait wait like a like a football helmet Or like I'm doctors mask doctors mask and doctors mask. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I was like damn You know, that's mad protection for this little child Yeah, if you had a actual Facebook map of Facebook a face mask on I'd be like all right got some stuff Yeah, major stuff if you got to wear all that

Major stuff major stuff biter spitter probably yes There's a lot of stuff one of those wild kids. Yeah, but yeah I was like, oh man like these kids learn how to ride a tricycle and just like riding his bike during a fucking pandemic I was like this is beautifully sad and Then I tried to buy a lobster roll from a main lobster cart Wait, what right after the main you know the main lobster carts. No They were driving around fucking Queens yesterday

Wait, there was a truck driving around selling lobster rolls Yes, main lobster. I think is the name of the company. I have never heard of this in my life Yeah, so you tried and you failed No, I tried and I was like do you guys take Apple pay because I'm I don't want to touch you because you're disgusting freak And then they were like, yeah, we take Apple pay declined declined declined and I was like, oh man, I finally spent all my money not the case but then But then I had somebody else try theirs and theirs didn't work either So there was something going on at main lobster some kind of fucking weird weird shit

Damn, maybe you just when I got you weren't meant to have that lobster roll dog I haven't stopped thinking about that lobster roll since about 4 p.m. Yesterday. That's how bad it's been Wow, that's what I'm thinking about But you know how much real estate this lobster roll has in my head now clearly it's got it's got a pretty good portion Joe I'm losing it. I'm at that point. You know what I did. I'm at I'm at that point. I've lost it No, I didn't I don't even know what day it is. Yeah, I don't either Actually, so I've been going to therapy via FaceTime lately

And my therapist actually forgot our session. Oh He forgot that you had one he for he forgot so yeah, but he uh, and then he was like, oh my god He's like I'm forgetting like what day it is and everything and I was like, dude I get it because I don't really know No, like I had Because yeah, I had my therapist call me and He was check to check in and I was like, what are you talking about? He was checking in with you Yeah, he was checking in with me. I think he thinks I'm going crazy. He's fucking he's fucking right and he's right

I was like, who is this? What planet are you from? Yeah? But now it's like yo, I look at people outside of my window walking around and I don't know how to feel The fuck's that mean like when I see them want to be like, ah, can't go inside. Yeah, well, like I mean, I Don't I don't really have ever yeah, what was that? That was like a That was like one of the girliest exhales I've ever No, but I've been going out I've been running a lot dude, you know, I ran I've been running like crazy today I'm gonna go for a long-ass run. You want to come?

No, we'll stand on opposite sides of the sidewalk No I'm gonna say you know you get the guys maybe I'll show up you get the guys. Yeah, you get the guys What does that mean? I don't know. It's like I'm not coming. Yeah, I know I did I I rented a scooter yesterday and pretended it was a motorcycle and those things are fast, right? Hell yeah, I was going 35 miles an hour down a hill at one point. Yeah, still and I was like, yo I'm bet you know like in that scene in Benjamin Button when he's like driving down that fucking That beautiful road and just I've never seen Benjamin Button

I just know that he's like living in reverse or whatever the fuck. All right, so he's at his peak hotness, right? Wait, what how is he? He's like eight or he's like 40. How does it work? When he was born he was like 87 years old. Yeah, it's fucking disgusting Yeah, so he reverts back to being a child but when he's in the middle in the peak hotness like peak hotness He's riding a motorcycle one-handed through like a fucking Country road and there's like leaves and beautiful shit Yeah, just and then you add beautiful pit and I was like, oh my god This is me right now and then I was like nah because I have a mask and gloves on yeah, and I'm on a scooter

Yeah But it was fun though riding scooter is really fun and I wiped it all down So I didn't get icky gross from it. So it was nice Oh, you brought like things see I was gonna ride one of those because I did a long run the other day And then I was so far from my my Fucking apartment that I was like I don't want to run back Yeah, I was gonna find a scooter, but I was like I don't want to put the helmet on though Don't put it on you didn't put it on I

Think you get a ticket for that. No one's giving you a ticket for that shit right now. I guess I don't know Wouldn't pull so I wouldn't pull somebody over and have a close conversation with them cuz their helmet was off fuck that I guess But you gotta think about you gotta really think about it also When when are we gonna be able to get haircuts again one second to be a thing I don't know But I've decided definitively that I'm not gonna do anything to my hair like if you see it right now It's already like pretty like it's getting there for me like this is longer than usual

Yeah, and I'm just gonna let it go and just see what happens Damn dude, you should become an artist. I can't really hear cuz I'm not hearing my voice right I heard I heard it I heard it. I heard it. I felt it. Did you feel it in your loins? Where are your loins by the way? I think you're I think it's your testicles. I thought loins were like you're like under your ribs No, I think it's your fucking balls. Is it your balls? Yeah, you're tender tender. Let's just say that like a Staten Island single mom Your balls. Is that your fucking boys? Is that your fucking boys? You know what the best thing about this corona? Well, there's nothing great about it

Yeah, is that there's become like So I love news that happens inside of coronavirus That doesn't have to do with coronavirus Because it's like oh man. It's like oh, it's a break, but sadly. They're usually fucking tragedies. Mm-hmm Like there's really no good news. I was reading this thing about how first of all I Wanted to say the Kennedy family is cursed They've had a rough go They've had a rough go, you know

Couple people have disappeared a couple people got you know Yeah, I guess you know But with the stick it yet Did you do you know any Kennedys? No, I knew a girl. I'm not an actual cat her last name is Kennedy. I went to high school with her But she had a snaggle tooth. Please tell me she's I meant I meant to say please tell me she's still alive is what I meant to say please tell me she's dead Like you're the ones been taken out all these kidneys

Please tell me she's dead. So I don't have to fucking work that night shift tonight I fucking Steve Busce No, please please please tell me she's still alive. Yeah, she's alive. I just fucking jinxed the shit out of her. I'm sorry Yeah, she's she's kicking still to my knowledge. I haven't talked to her in a decade. So okay All right. Well, you never know God bless you do know But one of the Kennedys I think a granddaughter or something Mm-hmm was in a was in a canoe with her eight-year-old son disappeared. I Feel like it's hard to disappear in a canoe. That's what I'm saying. I could keep up with a canoe on foot

Unless it's one of those fucking white water fucking wrath. No. Yeah, none of that can have an eight-year-old in a canoe like that No, no, I would never trust an eight-year-old in my canoe. Anyway, I mean they flip very easily and they're you know They're especially in this day and age instant gratification iPhones and whatnot like this kid's gonna be fidgeting and make the other listen Tommy Don't fucking move because you're gonna flip us But they're they're both dead, but are they confirmed dead? Are they yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they're confirmed dead. They're dead Wow, I'm gonna look it up. Yeah, but like This family has to be cursed Yeah, it's kind of it's just crazy. It's just eerie and then didn't one of them like overdose recently, too

I don't I don't know. Yes. I think they did They were on a canoeing trip or some shit, why are they on a canoe in the middle of a pandemic Didn't want to be the first one to say it Say the fuck in the house, but also I'm not saying that I'm just saying it's strange that like First of all, if I'm a Kennedy and it's a pandemic I'm not going outside anyway because I know the track is three. It's so fucked up, man It's fucking guys got three other kids. Yeah, fuck it sucks. Stay the fuck in the house. Yeah, you don't need to go canoeing and shit What are you gonna do out there? Yeah, man, it's really not time for a canoe

Or white water rafting or a who wants to who wants to do that like a who wants to get a big paddle and just go I mean, oh my god, it's the whitest answer. I've ever heard I'm a look at me. I'm white as snow That's therapeutic being scared for your life and bashing a stick up against a rock. I'm not talking about white water rafting I'm talking about a nice gentle canoeing. Oh, I thought you were talking about white water rafting Like fighting rapids you fucking white bed. What am I fucking? What's his name Rambo? Oh No, remember Dave Patista do I remember Dave Patista But

Yeah, I am I wouldn't have gone canoeing in this I'd be I'd be too afraid. I'd be a little afraid to hit the new Yes, what's the other one called? It's not a good hi. Yeah. Yes. That's the one that one I've done numerous times and it's a lot of fun Kayaking is super nice, but it's also a little scary because your legs are like all the way in it And you're like if I flip this I got to like kind of get out Yeah, if I have a seat belt on sort of thing It's kind of freaky, man Go no belt. Yeah, it's kind of freaky, but go no belt go. No helmet kids

It's how it works in these in this day and age. Yes, you're gonna have yeah Yeah, by the way, but I got sent a care package from some company and it's like healthy candy basically It's just candy without sugar. It's like it has a bunch of dietary fiber, but it's Not as bad as regular candy and we're doing the answer. No, no, no, I'll tell you this though These fucking vegan nerds got something right because these are good All right, it's like a pseudo Starbursts kind of thing and I'll be honest when I unwrapped it. I'm like this looks like shit Kids at home. That's how you make $5,000. No

Okay You sneak it in there. No, no, no, I guarantee you what I want. I guarantee you this company reaches out to you now. I Haven't said the name of the company say it. No I Dare you to say I dare you to get that bottle as deep as you can in your mouth right now Talk to me nice. Yeah, dude. Can we pause this? I gotta go jerk off I'll be honest. I impressed myself. Do you not have a gag reflex? No, I don't oh mine is just is just pathetic I was one of those people that could drink water like a spray bottle without closing their mouth

I can't I Can't do that dude if when I brush my teeth and I'm not even brushing my tongue if I touch my tongue with my toothbrush I'm like It gets me like that you have to relax your tongue that's your problem. You're making your tongue to my tongue is stressed out, dude I cannot relax in here. Oh, you gotta just get in there stiff as a board. I'm telling you I I honestly don't like I think it's not an official tooth brushing unless you almost vomit all over yourself I don't really gag when I brush my teeth because I try to stay away from the back the back shelf here. Yeah Once I hit that button, I'm just like

Have you have you ever pulled the trigger before? No, dude. I'm afraid It's awesome. I bet it is because I I do enjoy the feeling after you throw up and I'm like oh Yeah, but I just you know, I can't get it Have you had any also you throw up all over your hand. No, no, no you pull it out before for before Your boys before For your boss Before you watch I'll tell you this right now. Yeah, there's two times. I've successfully pulled the trigger once I was insanely drunk

and it was at a wedding and And I walked I walked off into the woods and I did it and I I Literally after a game of flip cup We were you know like sometimes when you do like half cup flip cup like just like there was a wedding with flip cup in the middle Of the woods. This was after-party after party. Okay, this is wider than white water rafting. Yeah, so I did it. I Was anchor. Yeah, you know when you're like fucked up and everyone's like let's go You're like

And then I like they're like, let's go again. I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I walk into the into the woods Pew everywhere and I was just like I was like it needs to come out. So I just hit it with the one line And then it came out nice and I came back and everyone's like, yo, you're right. I'm like, yeah, bro I'm good. Like let's go. They're like, yo, are you sure like you good? I'm like, yeah, dude They're like, yo, look at your shirt. I didn't realize I threw up all over myself Dude, you good? Yeah, I'm straight. Well, why because you're covering Bob it I was in a suit jacket and a fucking white button-down shirt and I threw up all over myself The initial one he was going back to what you were doing when it happened

I think it hit my hand this way. Yeah And just bounce back and but the rest at the floor It's so gross, dude. Yeah, and then I then I took my shirt off and just wore a suit jacket the rest of the party Jesus Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a disgustingly savage thing and then one time at a football game. My coach told me to do it So you did it. I've thrown up at football practice, but I didn't pull a trigger I just had to throw up. No, I was nervous. I was nervous. It was a it was a sectional semi-final game whatever for like the county and I was like, yo, I'm really nervous and

My coach was like, yo, just pull the trigger and this before I really knew what pulling the trigger was It was just bulimia back then. That's that's the only thing I knew back in our day There's no yeah back in our day when we just you know, we knew nothing of the such and He's like, yes, take your finger down your throat. He throw up and I looked at him and I was like, that's bulimic And then he's like, yo, it's not bulimic It's gonna help get the nerves out of you and it actually worked does it? Yes, that just seems like an old don't make yourself throw up, but it helped me with my nerves But that's crazy because I would think that like what the fuck

What happened I just turned I'm looking at my screen where I have like the the sponsors for later There's a picture of Meghan Markle and fucking Prince Harry out of nowhere. What the fuck is this? What's their story? They just not like like people anymore. Yeah, make it Markle Prince Harry weird people. They're like listen. We have everything We just I didn't know you could be like, yo, I'm a prince But I don't want to be a prince I'm done printing. How could you finish printing? Can he come back can he just become a prince whenever he wants again

I don't know if you can brexit from the fucking royal family and then just sneak your way back in when the money gets You know cut up on the table Damn, dude, my fucking use of big-ass words and shit. Well, the brexit is not it's just you know It's probably an insensitive thing to say to be honest with you I don't need I wish I knew what brexit meant. It's when you brush your teeth so hard that your gums bleed Oh, you're you're an a brexit. Yes. Yes, exactly It's a hybrid Yes, it's a one of those this is gonna be this is a very dumb question

Can you be anorexic and bulimic at the same time? I just answered my question. I I don't know I Would I that might I'm not trying to be me. I just I don't know I can see how those things would go hand-in-hand because if you are bulimic for an extended period of time one could assume that I Don't know Didn't you guys do an OPL with somebody that was bulimic once someone who was pro anorexia and I lost it on them Did you really? They were pro anorex. Can you tell us a little bit about it? Yes

So I mean on other people's lives the other podcast I do my buddy Greg We we did an episode where this girl ran a like pro anorexia blog and it was a basically about like how she was She loved the idea of being super thin. She thought it was like beautiful or whatever so she would push this anorexia Thing on people and and like she's like here's my story and blah blah blah, but then you know whatever but I Think like because which I from whatever. Remember. It was a little while ago So you would have to go back to find the episode. She said something like

She put up a post that was kind of like a joke about being pro anorexia And it got so much likes and attention that she just continued doing this thing which to me just sounds like you've tried to Fill this character because it was bringing you attention She became like the the gun girl of anorexia basically. Yeah, didn't that girl shit her pants? Yeah, I think so. That's great. Yeah, everybody hates that girl Dude, think about this, right? The most important and influential woman in the world who? She could have won ten Nobel Peace Prizes or I'll say this it doesn't even have to be a woman

It could be anyone right just the most Whatever Albert Einstein Gandhi, whoever you want these these amazing people If they shit their pants That would be the only thing that I would remember them by Yep, she's like y'all. Oh my god Gandhi did the hunger thing But he shit his pants Yeah, but it wasn't that the guy that shit his pants. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'll I'll even go as far to say this

If Jesus shit his pants up on that cross we'd all be it would it would be hilarious Technically Jesus probably did shit his pants because when you die you shit your pants. I don't even know if that's true I gotta yeah, yes, you release your bowels when you die So if Jesus were to die on the cross, he probably pee-peed and poo-pooed a little bit. I Think I'm right about this maybe Release bowels upon death I Don't I don't know. I don't know what to I don't know what to Google. I don't want to spend so much time It's it's Palm Sunday by the way

Poop Sunday Me and me and JC were cool, so don't worry about it. Yeah, no Probably an offensive thing to say, but I'm just saying if you shit his pants up there This is gonna come out on Easter Sunday Just so you know Jesus shit is Jesus shit himself on the cross Happy Easter and We're gonna hear about this one. Yeah, probably probably probably yeah, you know, I'm gonna hear about it from like my mom

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so Jesus was a man, right? Yeah, and Jesus definitely got boners This house like he probably had morning wood, right? Do you think he ever used like magic to make his boner go down? Did you just say magic Yeah, Jesus was a magician to shitty carpenter great magician Wait, he wasn't a carpenter's dad was a carpenter No, Jesus was a carpenter. I thought Joseph was the carpenter Jesus's dad is God No, how far back do we got to go with this family all right? Well, Joseph is his stepdad or whatever He's standing pops

Jesus was a carpenter. Somebody was good with working with it was a wood maker of wood You want something lumberjack? I don't know. Yeah. Well, it wasn't having sex. Is that in Joseph's kid? Yeah So he wasn't good at that the og cook the odes the og cook Do we know at what point the Easter Bunny became a thing was that created by like people that weren't Catholic? To like have like a but like I don't know what happened there. You just add an extra you say Catholic Catholic that's like me and cock a roach cock a roach Catholic Catholic Catholic Cat Catholic there's an O in there Catholic sounds delicious right now. Like a frozen ice pop Catholic

Have you had the Catholic flavor to Lenti? It's fantastic. Oh my god, dude When I go to when I go to Mr. Softy kids a grand ice cream. Oh, let me get the sponge Bob I get the Catholic to scoops a Catholic. It is unbelievable But oh Licka colors, you remember those Yeah, dude, dude. Also, who licks a lick of color. I'm biting through these fucking layers dog Get me to this wooden fucking stick with a horrible joke on it now Bro, I had to Lenti last night and it was gelato layers when I tell you that this thing was fucking out of fucking troll

It was insane Oh my god, I just got lightheaded God, I just I just love ice cream Are you gonna pass out? Yeah, first you're gonna pull triggers You know for a second when your head just goes walk up. I was like, oh Dude, oh my god. Oh my god You see how excited I just got over fucking ice cream. This is why other countries hate us Yeah, I almost passed out from loving ice cream too much

That's Reality and today Is that I almost passed out from loving ice cream going down? But I want to but I want to know though. I really want to know what was it? What's the Easter bunnies deal? Where did he come from like who who manifested this and then why do Catholics celebrate The Easter bunny and shit when it should be about Jesus. Well, none of these things are about Jesus Let's get that out of the way. They were

Easter Easter Mass Easter Mass is all about Jesus. What I'm saying is like Easter when people go Easter They don't go Christ is risen. They go. Where's my fucking jelly beans? That's my point That's right. And also the fact that a giant rabbit is gonna waltz his way in here and Just leave jelly beans and hide eggs Throughout the house that have eight dollars in them Did anyone even try with this like Santa Claus that seems like a well put together, you know Ponzi scheme

Right, right, you know, but the Easter bunny Great guy shot and I sport I spilled water We actually made we actually I thought he spilled something before we started recording the episode He was like he's like I didn't spill anything that was now he spilled Jesus did that Yeah, Jesus Jesus just told you to shut the fuck on me back Yeah, he just turned your key. He just turned your keyboard from water into garbage. That's what you Your cell phone no, it's the zoom no cards your mom Yo, if your mom needed mouth-to-mouth would you do it good god

Oh My god, this kid is a freak you would never forget that it's almost like if it's somebody shit their pants So yeah, I had to give my mom obviously you're gonna give your mom mouth-to-mouth the same real life I'm not gonna be like oh No, or like your dad. Oh gay Your dad needs mouth-to-mouth like oh, so gay though. Just die man. I can't be gay Here's the thing though is is your group of friends would never let you live that down They go yo this fucking guy give his own dad mouth-to-mouth

This way for the paramedics bro, what the fuck you do like guys. I want an Oscar. Yeah, that's great Go kiss your dad again, dude fucking gay You're gonna thank your dad and kiss it on that time Yo Joe listen yo Joe one time he kissed his dad fucking made out with his daddy put tongue in it I saw it. You made out with his dad in his sleep My dad was having a stroke. Yeah, whatever You fucking gay bastard Guy was trying to take a nap Joe's over here tongueing them down

Talking about a stroke. He was trying to stroke his dad. I got problems. Go kiss your dad Oh Fucking god, I'm taking advice from somebody kissing their fucking dad I'm fucking believing Yeah, yeah, don't worry about it now though because it's not going to yeah Or can I we'll find out folks Find out next time on the next episode of Dragon Ball Z. All right, let's get to the ads before I start spilling more shit everywhere Spill it, babe

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All right, where is he where's the big guy Oh back in town I have to put something in my stomach Excuse me. I Had to put something in my stomach. Yeah, I have these Ritz crackers that are garlic butter flavored. Oh my god So good they make you want to kiss your dad Can you Google can you Google what year the Easter Bunny was created? Oh wait, you don't have a keyboard

I hope it works It'll work. Yeah, I mean the button for caps lock is still working. So I just don't want to get shocked This thing is fucked though, it's definitely not gonna work So rich So covered in water Yeah, you talk about foot. Are you on tiktok? Yeah, got 11,000 followers I'm a savage ratchet bougie ratchet

You know I'm saying that's tiktok. I like the tiktoks when it's like they say people who are white or ugly Yes, not. Yeah Yeah, I love that. It's like oh and it's like it's just random quotes are on the screen It's like I don't really like Indian guys Indian guys stink this guy did and then he's just like I'm hot it's like a hot Indian dude. Just like what's poppin I Saw fun. I saw a funny-ass one. What a dude. It's like people say deaf guys aren't hot And he misses the musical drop. Oh my god, so it's like so it's like what's poppin and he's like Joker is it real? It's a joke. Is he dead? I think he's deaf

It's kind of dope. I can't I can't confirm we talked about this. Yeah, I'd rather be deaf than blind, right? Oh, yeah big time rather be deaf. Yeah being blind socks. It's not great. Oh Also Braille how? Yeah This is a mess of bumps. This is messy bumps. Yeah, I don't know how people read Braille And then what if you date somebody with a pimply face and it's like ha ha like your face is like chores Can you pop the pimples in my bag are you mean chores? Yeah, oh, I thought I was reading my work for today I thought I was reading my calendar

My god, you ever you ever see those things on the internet where it's like these white people that just get like Korean tattoos or something but and it and it'll be like oh this means like golden shark But it actually just means like spaghetti Be like eternal eternal wanderer. It's like dude. This means ass crap crap Yeah, I

Love ass chores. I would never I Guess watching your ass is a ashore Yeah, I've been watching my ass like crazy Hell yeah, have you had any symptoms that you thought maybe oh my god, maybe I got this Not really like the first run that I went on I had like a lot of phlegm and I kept spinning But I was like like What are you doing that? I wasn't wheezing but like I couldn't I couldn't really breathe

But I think that's just from not being out of shape Yeah, so that's why but There's nothing worse when you get that part of the wrong where it's like I Don't You never got that part of the road. I don't wheeze. It's the worst. I just yell like when I get really tired I just go ah, ah, and then I yeah That's what I do. You scream at yourself. I scream on the street. Yes Why I don't I don't know I just said just I

Don't know like are you running to me like are you like yeah like that? Yeah, I don't say yeah, I just make noises But I can't hear because I'm wearing headphones blasting music. I Wrote that scooter with my headphones on and if I smacked myself twice in the left ear my Siri would work Really? Yes, I'm just gonna play meek mill So I was just right around slap myself I stood up on it

Yeah stood up on it. I Texted Joe to come out on his back porch because I was gonna show him my cool bike tricks Yeah, where I stand up on a scooter I then jumped down, but Joe drank himself into a slumber yesterday Which was relatively early, how do you feel today? I feel fine. I mean I feel good. I slept until 10 30 I haven't done that in a decade Yeah, so there's that but no yesterday there was Like it they've been doing it. It's like this weekend. They're doing an EDM concert with like all these fucking DJs

But they're doing it in their houses and they're live streaming it on YouTube and they're raising money for like the COVID-19 relief or whatever And a couple of my friends are honestly way too into it Yeah, dude literally before we started this because it's going on now Eric wrote in the chat By the way, it's people in their living room playing the songs, right? There's nothing else going on and Eric's like, oh my god. This is a murder. This is jail time And I was like what I like it's a DJ man

and he's pressing a button I want to read it because it's He was that impressed by this guy on his couch dude at some point yesterday He goes he said bro. This is called a murder. This is a jail sentence for life But like implying that implying that it was like that fire Not that there had been a crime committed It's just that this guy is playing the song so well that he deserves to be jailed For his entire life Yeah, and this is and this is it

That's that's them on zoom and Then and then these are the guys just playing it that was that's it Hey, listen whoever created zoom good for you. Yeah, they're they're making out like bandits right now They're probably enjoying the fact this thing is like going well into the winter whoever owned zoom is like, hey We got it. Yeah, we got one Yeah, it's kind of it's kind of crazy. Have you have you done any zoom? Yeah, yeah, me and Frankie use zoom for the stank g plug go youtube.com watch stank podcast And I've done some zoom with some homies

Have you zoomed of zoom with the homes you've zoomed with the homes? Have you the homes? Yeah, I did a zoom yesterday, but I was playing like drinking games like outside because it was like nice out I Have the boxing mitts So I did some so I did some drills in the morning like five six rounds And then I went for a run and then I got back. What are you fucking training camp? What's wrong? Yeah, today, I'm gonna try and do a long run Yeah, what are you taking the camp up the fucking big bear and next week? That would be so awesome

I'm gonna try and go for a long one today Queens is fucking Crazy, what do you mean? It's just the epicenter of sickness. Yeah. Yeah It's wild out here. Yeah, a lot of people have reached out to me and been like, yo, are you good? I'm seeing Queens like in the news and it's not great. No, they get it. No, it's not Okay, let's all Francis was like people died in Queens Okay, all right, okay. Okay. I was just like yeah, okay. All right back of this make man I was just like, yeah, like this is fucking crazy. Oh, like, yeah, my sister works in a hospital. They've converted the

the The fucking restaurant area into bets. Yeah It's crazy man, it's crazy that people didn't think this was gonna be a big deal just ain't got but like, you know, I'm saying This is way bigger than I ever thought it would be No, I I mean Once now we're starting now. We're starting to know people that know people that died Yeah, I know a few people that have died It's crazy

Also, another sad thing I thought about like you can't even have like a funeral in this time. No, I think they have to cream in all the bodies Really, mm-hmm, I believe so I heard that like the the crematories are like backed up Wow Yeah Dude, it's a it's a weird time that we're living through right now. It's crazy so straight Yeah, you ever I still wake up and I'm like, yo

This is fucking crazy. Yeah, I will say this though, right because I don't want to go down the dark path the light Yeah, yeah, bring it back. Bring us back bring us back bring us back for shit. Yes poopy Farting you sing your dad Farting out of your butt. Oh wait, I need to tell you something about kissing my dad Yes This is okay. This is a real thing So my dad uses used to do this thing. Um, pal So listen when we were kids he used to kiss us on the mouth, okay, but he used to go like this

Pow on our lips how old are you? 16 Like 27 like I don't know that was last time I saw him. Oh no, no, we were young we were like kids but He used to um pal us all the time okay, and at the time You know, I had a little face Because I was a little kid my dad's a big dude. He's got big. He's got big face

Yeah, big face man. So when he was meaning us Right like mm-hmm Small lips, everything's fine, but when you throw in a pal Pow There's some de bris some some de bris that flies all over your face and What I'm trying to say is my dad was spitting in my face for a good portion of my life

Remember like those Maxwell audio commercials where the guy would sit in the chair and they would like blow everything in his apartment back Because he was listening to like really loud music. That's probably what it was like for you It was it was intense and yep, and no one's gonna get that reference Yeah, no, but also people I was getting um pal So yeah Well gay, no, I would say a lot of gay The guy was um powing his fucking sons Yeah

That's a three um pals. Yeah, I really got a bone to pick with Keith. I don't know what Keith's Deal is I'll never figure this man out. All right, so this is what happened yesterday should be good I was I was right around my scooter feeling all types of cool And I tried to get in contact with Joe no answer. It's whatever and then I'm just like Keith I text on I go Yo, what's up? Are you home? No answer I'm still riding around so Vin and Keith come outside

So I get to see them and they're like, yo, what's up like this that if they're I texted Keith at 615 he saw me after Read my text from 615 and goes yeah, I'm home. What's up sent it to me at 945 at night He was he was delirious yesterday He woke up he like because we were all drinking we're playing drinking games and like it was So he was all like whatever and then he fell asleep in the middle of watching 21 bridges, which it was a pretty good movie Wait, who's in there fucking what's his name? God? Boseman yeah, yeah, yeah Chadwick Chadwick. I was gonna say chase but

So he fell asleep and my sister we wanted to play a card games My sister's like Keith. Do you want to play apples to apples and he wakes up and he goes? He just wakes up and he goes listen if you want a thousand sim cards You're gonna have to let me know because I only have twenty five hundred so I'm gonna have to put another order in Now me and Vin and Shannon are looking at each other like What and She's like Keith. No, we wanted to play a card game. He's like Shan. I'm being serious Like if you're if you need a thousand you have to let me know and I'm like what the fuck because now it's like you're up

Like was he like did was he delirious? I don't know because he would dude He was saying weird shit like that and then he went upstairs to go to the bathroom And we were laughing about it and he heard us and as he's coming back down the stairs He continued this sim card rant and we were like what the fuck is going on like yo No one's talking about sim cards like what are you saying and then he and then he was getting mad at us and yelling and I was like I'm like dude. You woke up out of your sleep like and cuz he's like yo, I wasn't drunk. Everyone's saying I'm drunk He was drunk as shit. Yeah. Yeah, he goes everyone say I'm drunk and then Shannon goes no one saying you're drunk We were just asleep

So maybe you were dreaming about it and then he and then I was like yeah, and then he looks at me He goes Joe. I wasn't asleep You were asleep for an hour and a half Why are people so defensive to just admit that they're sleeping it's a this is a huge thing I don't know people that people love to be like I wasn't sleeping Yeah, or like I even prick you are fucking asleep who cares or I pretend to sleep when people come into rooms Why I'm a I'm a 28 year old man, so we walked into the room and I'm like Why am I doing that?

There is nothing I love more than pretending to sleep when somebody walks into a fucking room I don't know why but it's amazing. Why do we do that? Cuz I think it's we want to put our skills to the test I want to see this person actually believes I'm asleep But what do we all want to be fucking spies also another thing that I took pride in when I was a kid is that I used to lay my blanket over my bed and Try to make people think there was no one in the bed So I would spread my body out and put my hands and legs in a weird position

Like this so that the blanket didn't look like just like a person if you like so spread out like this It's like Michael Jordan that shit. It's like fucking jump man. Basically, and I still do it This one time my sister's hot friend. They all went out to like party or whatever and I was young. I was maybe like 13 14 maybe and I was babysitting and they got home late I was I fell asleep With my baby nephew in the bed

Cuz it was late. We fell asleep and I hear them come home and they're like all kind of drunk or whatever and my sister's friend She was like I had to change went in the room. I pretended I was sleeping, but I saw her naked I Saw booby which was cool, and then I just was like Another story about babysitting My sister's children I was babysitting my nephew once and you know how windows for some reason they have to like Lock in this way at the top. Yes

Didn't I went to do it it didn't lock and it came down hit me in the face rendered me unconscious Rendered me unconscious for I don't know how long but I woke up with my baby nephew just crawling around And I had a fucking huge black eye right here Knocked you out Knocked me out. I was like 12 13 years old dude. The shit fucking slept me That's fucking hilarious like a heavy industrial window of an apartment like those things that are made of like metal Yeah, like like so like like birds and shit like don't stand a chance You can't even shoot a bullet through those fucking windows. Yeah, so I just went up there in the thing

Fucking slept you yo slept your boy. Yeah, I'm Starched to me. I don't think I've ever babysat a child No, no, no, well you're gonna. Yeah, I'm probably have to babysit a kid You're gonna I thought you were gonna say you've never been starched before no I've been starched. I got starched by a fucking an Asian kid named Richard Was this the Asian kid you stole the money from the Pokemon that was Alan Alan Asian I didn't steal shit. Okay. I did a trade. This was a barter that my mom fucked up Okay

Your mom fucking the money. Oh, yeah, you know, my mom's been Fucking the money up that to this day. I won't give her a fucking dollar. I'll let her go homeless for that Fucked up my $50 Joe, can I have some money? I would but that whole thing with Charizard now and I just can't trust you mom. I'll let you know this. Okay. That was in That was 2004 So $50 there plus the cost of living goes up and if I had that in an interest account, you're gonna have to give me 750 dollars

And we're gonna call it even okay Yeah, 750 call it even I'll go get you your own credit card. How's that? How's that? Please tell me how this Asian kid select you. It was in middle school and My friend like I was like a psycho like back then like if my friend was getting into a fight Like I would just jump in and like whatever and this kid was getting into a fight in the hallway So I like ran up and I grabbed because he was fighting this other fucking Asian kid So Asian Richard. Oh, they were two Asians. Yeah You gotta let them settle on there. Oh, no, no, no, my friend. It was the Spanish kid Anthony

Oh, I thought Asian Anthony and Asian Richard were fighting. No for eight for Asian supremacists I would never I would never In a typical American way put your nose in there. No, no, no, that's not what happened. Okay. There was some other stuff No, I would never stick my nose in that But never put your nose in Asian business. No, I didn't know what I was afraid So him and Anthony this kid I forget the other kid's name, but he was they got into a fight So I was just trying to break it up. I wasn't even trying to hit anybody. It wasn't trying to do whatever So the Asian kid just happened to be like

Near me at that point. So I like grabbed him and when I grabbed him this kid Richard fucking sucked me dude and Just absolutely like bang and like hit me like perfectly I just I just hit the ground and I just saw like five of my friends jump over my dead body And run after this kid and I was just like, oh my god I wasn't even trying to fight anyone and then he just fucking stay out of Asian business Similar situation Just fucking let me handle it themselves. Yeah, they killed me. I

Have a similar story. I might have told it on the show. I was playing basketball once and a men's basketball league. I Was like maybe 17 or 18 You know how it is like you have like those weekend warriors who were like, let's go, baby. Yeah So I'm like, all right, this is kind of cool We're playing against his team these two brothers on it, right? And they're known for like being like just annoying as shit and like getting kicked out of games now and then whatever so I'm on the other team and One of the brothers gets into an argument with one of the guys on my team

So they're like they're going at it like their nose to nose I went to break it up and I'm literally I open this to open like yo guys Let's go and then just a fucking brotherly fist is coming through the middle So I part of the Red Sea and that shit closed real fast when I tell you this guy hit me so hard that when I woke up I felt like I took a nap for about seven hours Fucking rocked it. Yo fucking rocked me rocked my shit And I was like, yo, what the fuck just happened and they were like yo someone so fucking hit you And then I remember I saw the dude like later. He's like, yo, I'm sorry

I thought you were going after my brother. He actually paid for like my hospital stuff When I went to get like a scan on my head or whatever and he was like, yo, I'm really sorry I was like, yo, bro, don't ever fucking talk to me again You're lucky. I don't punch you in your fucking face right now Came up to the gym and then they got suspended from the gym and then they got that I was just like, yo, I was like, I appreciate the gesture like the offer. I'm not letting you pay for my shit Yeah But he fucking rocked my socks boy. It was an accident

Yeah, if I thought someone was going after one of my brothers probably do the same That's what I'm saying. So he was just like, yo, I thought you were like going after my brother I was like, yeah, I appreciate your apology about it. You fucking punch me in my face, bro. I Was like fuck you I Just hate that in that situation. I was trying to be a piece. This is why I don't fucking do shit. Yeah I don't break up fights like that. No, I'm just gonna let people kill each other now I don't give a fuck. Well, like when my friends get into fights I mean, it doesn't happen all the time, but when they do get into fights like I can't

Not do anything, but I'm very cautious about like I won't grab anyone else's friend. Like I'll grab my friends You know, so it's like because then it looks like I'm trying to help the situation But if I pull your friend then you're thinking like Like if you got into a fight with someone and someone was pulling you like I'm gonna rock that kid But if he's pulling his friend that I understand like, okay, then I'll pull you, you know So I I'm very cautious about that because dude also like getting to fights and bars and shit This shit is so dangerous. So you don't know who the fuck has a knife or some shit. Yeah, that's usually how it works My dad's cousin died. He was like this fucking

Amazing athlete and like all this shit and he was like breaking up a fight or some shit and he got fucking stabbed Yeah, it's just like, yeah, I'm gonna let one of you motherfuckers die. I'm good. Yeah No, if it's chaos though, I'm in the chaos. I have no problem at that point so much chaos I'm fucking slippery. I could get a fuck I Just love we go to a fight anywhere. It's like get Joe out of the back We'll say you guys you slide out boss. We'll take care of it. It's slide out I'm slide out

Slide out slide out the back now. Yeah, there was one time right where there was like a fight Going on in some like club There had nothing to do with me and my friends But they were you could just tell like the ones who are like the psychos like all right All right, everyone stand behind me in case it comes this way You have to have two friends that are just willing to die for no reason Yo, you know how hard it would be for me to get into a fight It would be a very difficult thing you would literally have to rock me in the face

Even then I think you might still not you just be like you're now. No if someone hit me I'd I'd have to if they if they hit you once you might just be like I would only fight if I felt like there's no other way to get out of this That's what I'm saying Like if I do just hit you like if you're walking somewhere and you like just punch you in the back of the head You'd be like dude, what are you doing? I don't know. I would like to see crazy Joe come out. I wouldn't I would eat this person's insides, huh? I said I would eat this person's entrails

No, I don't know it would be hard it would be hard for me a lot of it just like I don't know for me It's like but if I was walking on the street and someone just like Really if I was walking with Keith and someone shouldered him Like you know like you shoulder someone by accident in the street if it's an accident It's an accident but if it happens and then you do the look back to say like alright this guy gonna apologize or is he gonna say something or if He's just gonna be like what like if that happened to me I'd be like well that guy's a loser, but if it happened to someone that I was with I'd be fucking

Furious yeah, yeah, yeah, cuz I'd be like oh Yeah, I just get so fucking mad. I love getting mad. Yeah, you do All this fucking shit dude, there's water everywhere over here by the way Remember we got that Yankee game once like these dudes like kept saying something I don't know what they were saying. It wasn't directed at us, but they just kept saying like the same thing over again I was like we get it shut up Were you there? Oh, no, you weren't there. That was at a Giants game. I yelled at or was it a Yankee game? There was a woman or was it a woman or a guy they kept screaming and everyone's just getting annoyed

Right, and they screamed and then I just stood up and turned around cuz I didn't know where it was And who was saying it went shut the fuck up And everyone was dying laughing and clapping Yeah, you every every stadium needs a shut the fuck up guy you need it because people won't shut the fuck up They won't they won't ruin you the entire that's what I'm saying Like I just like it was probably a Giants game cuz I cared like a lot about it And I was just like this person is ruining everyone's time Also like giant games are very overpriced. Well, so it's like you probably spent a bunch of money to go there

Like you're not spending money here these fucking I gotta drive ten hours home now because of the fucking parking lot Literally the worst Parking lot ever is met life stadium. I don't care what anybody says go to a Giants game Say goodbye to your family because you're never gonna see That's how fucking bad it is. They should make underground tunnels out of that place Yeah, you know they should they should like little like hamster like hamster Tunnels hamster tunnels. Yeah, you never seen like a hamster with the tunnel Yeah, little tubes you ever think about how stupid a hamster is by running on that wheel like dude

You're going nowhere you idiot and you never lose any weight you fat bitch. Yeah, you're always like a little chunky hairy fuck Yeah, yeah Also, who the fuck has hamsters anymore, bro. Have you got hamsters in 2020? That's a that's a mouse you're poor. Okay Also, if you call it a gerbil relax It's a clean mouse is what it is Don't say gerbil like it's some fucking imported species, you know, yeah, oh, this is this is a ferret. No, that's an anorexic raccoon That's it. Okay. It's not a ferret

He comes from a bloodline of royal fucking hamsters. I'm like, it's a fucking hamster Wouldn't survive a day out in these streets. Okay Yeah, one time my friend had a hamster and his name was Henry and I remember Like it was cool. Like he would take the hamster out every once in a while And I remember he took the hamster out. He was like, yo, this was like maybe like Five months after having it. He didn't have it for that long. I don't know how long you had it So he had the hamster and he takes it out this little fucking motherfucking name Henry He puts them on the bed. He's like, yo watch like it's awesome thing has a full-blown seizure

So it lays on its it lays on its back. It's having a seizure it pisses it shits itself and we're fucking Losing it. We're like, oh my god. What's happening? Oh my god, Henry And it takes just going like this fucking shit So and then yo, it just like came out of it But yo for like 15 seconds, we were like, yo, what is fucking happening to Henry the hamster right now? Henry the hamster had a full-blown seizure quite a show And I was like, yo, what yeah, he's puts it down. He's like, yo watch like it's cool I'm like, all right. It's kind of cool a hamster not on a wheel on the loose. Let's see full-blown seizure

It would be fun at the end your boy your boy just went ta-da There's that He always does this typical Henry shit Charlie Pretty sure your hamster has epilepsy. Just let you know that's a trick No, no, look at this tricky does he shakes until he shits his pants watch watch. We'll do it. We'll do it No, no, he's he's a little shy right now. You gotta scream at him. You gotta flicker the lights at him

Yeah, what do you think's a crazier condition Epilepsy like the one like flashing lights can like make you go or a narcolepsy Dude narcolepsy is wild What the fuck dude just out just sleeping Doesn't that dude and sopranos have narcolepsy Yeah, yeah, yeah, he like throws like bread at him and she Said Janice's boyfriend. Yeah Yeah, like epilepsy is scarier. I think seizures are so scary. Hell yeah, they're mad scary like I don't know

Like written that much about epilepsy, but I've had friends who are epileptic and I should scare you shit Narcolepsy to me though is just a phenomenon. It's like you just fall asleep. Just pass out. Yeah, and it's like, yo Do you take like caffeine medicine like what do you do to treat this fucking thing? I don't know I'm not about to try and diagnose it. No way. No, what's right? No way No, no, no, no, no, I love how people think we're like MDs. I I'm asking questions. I just want to know if there's anybody out there that has narcolepsy that could reach out to me and tell Me what it's like to be a narco. I want to know That's what narcos is about right about narcolepsy, it's exactly it's about Pablo Escobar

He actually it's called narcos cuz Papa Escobar was narcoleptic And they're actually he had a whole gang of people who are narcoleptic and he was he was through with people making jokes about them So he had a violent gang that he you know and obviously they used the whole gang to smuggle drugs as well That's a whole different side of it But for the most part that was they were all just front they were all just falling asleep out there They're all just falling asleep. Speaking of criminals your boy Tekashi six nine got out of jail, huh? It's my boy now Yeah, he's now he's just like on house house arrest house arrest. I wonder if he'll use social media 100 actually now that his PO was probably just like you can't I read a report that he's allowed to use it

But he's not allowed to troll But I don't know how you well who's there fucking there's a troll specialist out there that works for the government I think he can do whatever the fuck he wants to be honest with you, but he just can't leave the house That guy got off pretty nice who Takashi him. Yeah, I mean, do you think that he will release music during the quarantine? Now I don't even think he pokes his head out Like I don't think he says hi. I don't think he does anything. I think he's over it. I think he just wants to live Do you think oh

Man now he's on house arrest, but no one's gonna go over there. I Be shook. I'd be fucking terrified dude. Yeah, dude I'd be like he's gonna if I was just like his mom. I'd be like I'm gonna go stay I'm gonna say at abuelo's house To this blows over. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah another thing to Floyd Mayweather's daughter stabbing people. Yeah, that seemed like a lot Right shouldn't be stabbing folks Apparently this is what happens. She's a she's engaged to NBA young boy engaged Apparently

Apparently, okay And she came home and he was with somebody else or something. I got to fix this real quick Oh, no Now we're good. No, that's fine. Yeah, but like NBA young boy and Who's a rapper? Mm-hmm parent apparently and She came in was like hey, this is my Fiancé and she was like get the fuck out and then the other girls I get the fuck out

Did you just start a stab in a bitch? Dude stabbing someone is one of the most intense fucking 100 I'd rather be shot getting stabbed is like I Feel like you can just walk like oh my god Like I'm slowly gonna just watch myself. It's so it's it's so passionate because like when you stab someone like initially movies Like it's like I had to tell you. Yeah, this is not Then they stab him again like double time they like on the second one and they're like They're usually like right in your ear too

And it's like the only times that you're near someone's ear that close is when you're fucking and it's like and that's when you're gonna Say something like you like that you little dirty asshole and then and then other times when you stab someone you go This is for Mike And the original they're always shushing them on the original like Just die It's like you knew it had to be this way Stab them again. Yeah, you know inconsiderate is to stab someone and when they're trying to like breathe you're like Dude am I bothering you you stabbed me?

The fuck you're a search me People are fucking killing you and then they gotta shush you on top of that I'm more mad at the shush than I am at the stab listen if you're gonna stab me. That's one thing But don't dare shut I'm gonna try and fight my life as loud as I want Shush me one more time I'm gonna kill you Fucking kill you buddy. Okay. All right, you shush me one more time. I'll take this knife out of me and put it in you I

Be so fun if they're like she's like no, I'm not gonna show no, you know what actually you know what I'm not gonna show You know, I'm not gonna die. I'm not gonna die. Forget it. I was good. Forget I was gonna go. I was gonna die And you're ruined it and you've that's on you. That's not my fault. This is this is on you. I should be dead This is on you I'm so fucking over it No, I'm not gonna relax. Yeah, just relax. No, you shushed me You're bleeding I don't care Care about that

Shush me. Yeah Yeah, but don't stab anybody. Yeah, that's that's a word from the wise there. Don't stab anyone continue to wash your hands Don't go to the mall thieves dog. Oh, yeah, there's people stuck in the mall thieves And How about this? they're the only two people there and They have to pay a discounted rate to stay there because I guess they're not allowed to leave I Would tell them to suck my fucking balls. Yeah, I'm not paying

Okay, no Yo, I read they have nine waiters every morning to do what? One's making the toast the other ones buttering the toast and they and they Spend their days sitting by the sitting by the pool and snorkeling Those are their days they got Wi-Fi out there. Yeah, they got Wi-Fi out there, and then they got fucking servants I wonder how much they're paying the place was 750 a night now It's like a heavily discounted rate though, but they might be there for months $750

$150 a night was the regular price when they went there on like their pre-engagement party dude, even if it was $100 Yeah, dude, you're there for like three months. You're gonna be fucking bankrupt the guy's like a butcher and His wife's a teacher. I don't know about that not not exactly cake in it So like they're gonna be in fucking trouble. They need that stimulus pack. Actually, they're not American. They're South African Dan well, yeah, maybe they'll have a go fund me so that these people can continue to have servants in the Maltese Yeah, it's like, oh man, dude, you know corona was so bad. We had servants You can't go anywhere else. I'd be like is there anyone else I could go or am I just locked into this fucking Thousands of thousands of dollars that I'm paying every month. They can't go back. They can't go back apparently alright, but like I

Would go back fuck this how you're gonna get there for You can't I'll tell you this I need to get the fuck out of New York this place. He's driving me fucking nuts What do you mean? Cuz every day I think it's like it's like, oh, here's a corona by the numbers 200,000 7000 it's 5,000 and then it's like oh another 400 people have it in Queens today. I'm like I just had to move here I moved I moved the Queens becomes the epicenter of sickness and I'm already a hypo contract

I'm surprised. I haven't fucking gone to the hospital 11 times I haven't gone to one doctor. I'm afraid of doctor. That's how fucking hypo. I am. I'm afraid of doctors now Can you imagine? Like right now was when you started having panic attacks you get there and they'd be like that's great go home Take a bath dude. All right. You have a you have a silly weird brain. Go home and shut up Light a candle take a bath. You'll be all right. Go kiss your dad All right. All right, it's your 80th EKG of the week. I don't know what to tell you your heart's fine Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here

What do you feel I'm a sore throat Very anxious like do you have a sore throat sir? I'm like no, I'm just really anxious. They're like dude get the fuck out Wrong doctor get out. Yeah That's the thing. I'm scared of is like I I feel like what we're living in It's like we got these protective bubbles now like our houses and shit But if you go into a hospital for some reason I see them all as like lights off like they're like kind of dark like a hospital at night and they just hear people like And like nurses are just walking the hallways at all hours of the night and just fucking beds

Everywhere, it's like a fucking scene out of like hotel Rwanda where they have all the people in like one room And they're all fucking dying and shit. This is what I'm this is what I'm afraid of like these these hospitals are probably just stacked to the Rafters with COVID people. They are And that's fucking scary to me. Yeah You know they You know apparently I don't know if this is true. I heard this from somebody so don't like whatever Apparently like feeding tubes like they don't have a lot of them So like they have to like switch them mid-meal to like feed everybody in some hospitals and shit

like I'm good dog You know, I would have to literally have COVID or like be like Shot in the face for me to go to the hospital right now. Yeah, I would have to be like Serpa co Just a fucking bullet hole in my face and you have to go to the fucking hospital. I would The only way I would go Like for the foreseeable future is if you can get that antibodies test to see if you had it and it's gone and you're immune now

Yeah, I would love So fucking much to do that. Yeah, if I if I could know that like oh you're immune to it You had it. You didn't maybe you didn't have symptoms or you whatever you're good Because I mean, I feel like I was sick like at some point January February Yeah, dude, I got sick the moment we got off of the plane. Yeah And I was with you and yeah, like I was in Austin that packed bars and I was sick as shit Which is crazy to think about like how did we not get anything like it doesn't make sense like we probably did Yeah, dude, one of us probably had that shit. That's what I'm saying Josh. Definitely had it. My dad

100% Josh had it. I don't give a fuck. Yeah, I'm gonna ride this fucking train to the wheels for right. He did that Would you rather be in a in a car accident or or or a train derailment? I Don't know. What do you think's worse a bad car accident or a train derailment? I Don't know the stats about trains derailing. I Think that's probably the least I think it's the same thing It probably is the same thing probably is the same thing Where the fuck did my mind just go, I don't know we're I'm starting to get worried about you What?

Who are you again? I don't know. I'm just a guy who umpouses dad Yeah, just umpound your dad right on the mouth Yeah, I would not go I would I would not go to the hospital I Don't know even if I like broke my leg You probably have to go nah, nah nah

Kids insane I am so afraid of anyone this I hey, I'm in the medical field. I'm like get the fuck away from you, sir Yeah, I've only been seeing people that I that only see me Have you seen the video of that doctor trying to hold in that cough? That is one of the funniest things I have ever seen in my entire life. I love that when he coughs after he coughs is like He chose That video is so fucking good That that video has gotten me through some long nights, but I've watched that video maybe

4,000 times I was laughing so loud everyone's like what's what it's so fucking funny And then you of course you play it and no one finds it funny, but you're like dude. I hate when that happens. It's funny It's amazing, it's amazing All right, cool. I think we can wrap it up a Then later's then later's it's very scary probably the most ventilated you've ever been in your life on this ventilator And honestly, they've done a great job ventilating Well, he'll say shit Like things like a TV you'd be like TV

Showed me the sports games did a really good job too. I'm like is what it's supposed to do. Yeah What are you talking about? Yes, like, you know, I love sports. I played sports some of the biggest sports I think I may have honestly Played the biggest sports. You're like, what? What do you mean, I'll come out. I love how he came out the other day He's like he's like the economy was booming Unemployment and as low its rate and now it's just stopped. It's like alright, dude Like you're bigging yourself up about a bunch of shit people dying out here. Not only that, but he's like employment

You know, it's one thing he was bragging about the point. Yo, it is astronomically broken the record Like He's like we were doing pretty good before this. I'm like, yeah, of course we weren't you can't go outside We talking about hey man people are dying and the world is closed. Nothing's going What are you gonna do? How about this find it? I find a superhuman who has a fucking vaccine in their body. Let's get to it Honestly win some lose some we're definitely losing some but we will win some

And we did win some we won a lot. It's just that we did win a lot We won a lot we won a lot we won a lot, but here's dr. Fauci dr. Fauci Yeah, dude I love when he doesn't know what to say and he just starts pointing out people on the stage and he goes Hey, Mike, you want to say something and everyone's like sir. We have a mr. President. We have a question. He's like Mike Yeah, he literally is like a host like a comedy show where like you do like two minutes of material and then bring on just Every other comic. Yeah, he's like here's this guy. Here you go. This guy. This guy runs Walmart They're doing great things big things huge things

Go ahead. Go ahead Mike It's like mr. President. What are we gonna do about this Mike talk about Walmart, please Then I like when they're done. We should be like and you're doing a great job, too It's like a school project it's like is anyone else around that wants to say anything does anyone have any last words Is that it all right guys, thanks. Thanks so much. We'll see you next week Listen, we'll see you next week. You can find me at Daniel a priori on Instagram and Twitter and Vanillators and that's it stank podcast stank youtube.com such as stank podcast mean Frankie movies TV and farts You guys can go follow the show at the basement yard

Go check out my youtube channel been dropping shit youtube.com slash. Joe Sanagato and That is all