The Basement Yard - #238 - New Hobby Joe
Episode Date: April 20, 2020On this episode, we hear all about Joe's new quarantine hobbies, animals and lawyer commercials. Enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
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Oh, welcome back to the basement yard. How's everyone doing on this fine Easter Sunday? If you're Catholic
Do do other groups celebrate Easter?
Do Greek Orthodox? Don't they have their own nother? Yeah, it's like next week or something, right?
They take an animal into the backyard they slaughter it and then they slowly cook it
While standing around it smoking cigarettes and talking about the you know how Greece's dollar isn't doing too well
Yeah, yeah, that's that yeah. Yeah, I'll tell you what I went to a Greek Easter once
Right and as brutal as it is to just see the animal kind of like it still has a face
I like my dead animals without faces, you know, like when you see a piece of steak, you're like there's no face
I need a headless animal. I don't want it. Yes, I could see the feet
I see the aunt I see the face and then also there's always that one
Fucking Greek guy that comes up. So you have some of this and it's like a weird body part. He's like, oh, it's the ACL
It's the best part. I'm like, I don't eat that. No, no, no, what do you think the best cut of a human is?
That tastes the best. Yeah, what part of us tastes the best?
You I would say your ass because it's fucking juicy
Not mine though. My ass would be crying
You know, you'd have a you'd have a gamey ass
Yeah, I'd have a gamey ass. Yeah, your ass would be it would be hard to cut
You ever get a piece of chicken that like is you're just unlucky about it and it's like what is this shit?
Yeah, you know, it's weird when you cut in the chicken and it has like that weird like
Line in it like a vein. Oh
Yeah, and you're like, did I is this the artery? That's why I don't like to eat chicken wings anymore. I
I
squeeze I used to be
Squeeze squeeze me
You know, it's just it's good
No, I don't eat chicken wings anymore because I hate the way the tendons end up in between my teeth
And then they stay there for a long time and I try to get them out and I can't and then I'm just
I'm picking up my teeth and then I start to lose my fucking mind because there's a fucking chickens Achilles tendon in my fucking bicuspid
Your your what your bicuspid. What is that? That's it? That's
Those are bicuspids right here. Oh
I didn't I didn't know that. Yeah, your teeth have terms for them
Yeah, I don't I don't care. Yeah
I hate them. No, but my ass would literally it would probably be like the like calamari
It would just be like how am I is good. Well, I'm just saying if you didn't dip it in in breading
Okay, all right, it would just be like a whack thing
But yeah, I don't I don't I don't know maybe like the under part of my arm. Maybe it would be tasty
They keep they can eat that agree. I probably have a I would have a pretty good
calf
Like my calf muscle is like seems like it would be like, you know, you could like
Do you want to eat hard stuff though? You want to eat soft stuff?
It's only hard when I like flex it but when I when it's not it feels like a nice boob
It feels like a sea cump. It feels like a fucking you put a nipple on that thing and I'll start sucking on my calf
Yeah, I would suck calves if they had nipples on them
Anything that's got nipples on it. I would suck it besides animals. Yes. Yes, that's that's how we got here to the coronavirus
All right, so we're not gonna suck any animals over there and we want they were sucking animals
No, and now we're staying inside so I
Still can't get over that like I it's just this guy ate a bat and now the whole world stops
Do you know how easy it is to know?
to not eat a bat in
A soup
Bats don't even fit in a bowl. That's how you know it reminds me that always sunny episode when they eat Frank's meat
Do you know that one?
Yes, you know and they go to like that Asian market and they're just like they don't have monkey here like we got monkey
Like he probably just wanted to eat like an exotic weird like thing and that's what happened dude
Have you ever seen like Japanese muck bangs?
Yeah, there's always a small woman. She eats like a slug or some shit. No dude
She'll eat like an entire blue whale or something. Yeah, or she'll eat something
That's a lot like she's eating like a squid, but the arm in the front just like
The whole time one time. I saw this like fucking 80 pound Asian woman
She's got chopsticks doesn't use them, right? She picks up this fucking thing that looks like a giant whale dick
Bites into it and then it squirts all over her. Oh, yeah, I remember that was like
What the fuck is that? I don't know, but she was like
Yeah, it was like she bit into a whoopie cushion that was filled with come
Dude, you know think about how much comedy would take to fill up a whoopie cushion
Years years
Not years. No, you need pressure just to get in there
So you have to even just hope that you have enough pressure in your ding dong to get that going to build it
Yeah, I'm well you can't open it up. That's just not gonna happen
You know, it was weird how like a straight like a feet of strength was to be able to blow like one of those hot water
bottles up
What the fuck remember like those leather water bottles?
They would like leather not leather, but like rubber
Why would they heat water bottles and the people would be like?
Yeah, you have to look this up look look it up look up man blows up hot water rubber thing
Hot water bottle with nose
Is it is it made of rubber?
It's like a bag
It's weird fuck is this dude
I go on YouTube I type that in the thing that's a recommended is ten real circus acts that shocked the world and it's a picture of a guy with
Three eyes two nose two teeth one mouth. What the fuck is that?
I love that you could join the circus whether it's either you're really talented or you're disgusting one or the other that's it oh
I see this thing. Yeah, and it was like a feet of strength if you could blow it up and make it explode in like the 1930s
That's fucking stupid. Yeah, but they also played with like
Like they would kick around a piece of ice and think it was soccer. Have you noticed that?
Have you noticed like everyone from Tiger King is just doing like every podcast in the world. Yeah, we should we should I'm gonna
I'm gonna reach out to Jeff Lowe dude. We could easily get Jeff Lowe on the show
I'm gonna come on the show. I'm gonna call Jeff Lowe on the morning meeting which by the way
I'm doing from my apartment
Every morning Monday to Friday on patreon so go subscribe patreon.com slash the basement yard
Every morning we're doing we do like a mini podcast there, but I'm trying to call Jeff Lowe and we should deal is I want to know
See, I don't even want to know any tiger stuff. I just want to know if he gets that much pussy. Oh
He gets pussy. I mean
It's well documented this guy puts tigers on a bus and fucks. Yeah, but he's got a bandana
Under a hat. Yeah. Yeah, he's got the Hulk Hogan bandana and a hat and inflection t-shirts
That nobody even wears anymore. Yeah, this this guy would have been cool 20 years ago
But it's 20 years and now it's today. So I don't know if this is all true. Did you have an Ed Hardy shirt?
Did you have an Ed Hardy shirt? No, don't fucking lie to me, bro
I never did but I did have this like
Shirt that did have like a fucking bedazzled tiger on it. It wasn't my god
It wasn't bedazzled, but there was some shiny glittery substance and you wore it outside
You like you actually wore it and thought it was cool
It I did I didn't buy it and I don't know where it came from
I like found it and I was like this is sick and I put it on and then guess what it wasn't fucking sick at all
It was fucking trash, dude
There's no worse feeling than buying clothes and then being like why the fuck did I buy this dude?
It's the worst it's the worst fucking feeling in the world to buy clothes and be like what in my mind told me that I wanted this
Dude, I literally with since I've been in this apartment. I did it when I would lived here, right?
So within the last two years. I was on Instagram
Scrolling and and there was a pair of pants, right? You got instant pants. I got instant panted
Okay, because I was like these look cool. I'm just gonna buy them. There wasn't even a model wearing them
They were just the pants. So I was like these are great
Dude, I bought them. I swear to God. I opened it up and I'm like what have I done? God forgive me
Just to give you an idea. Okay, the mate. They were like
corduroy sort of right and they had a strap
That was orange. What color was?
90% of the pants
baby fucking blue I
Bought baby blue corduroy pants that had an orange strap open them up and was like
It's just weird that at one point you're like, oh man, this is cool
Dude, and it just took it took three days for you to realize this isn't cool
I
Dude as soon as I open them. I'm like, what am I? Who do I think I am that I could pull this off? I
I just started pulling off jeans. I can't jump to baby blue and orange pants. How many corduroy's how many pairs of jeans do you have I
Have and also that I wear and also wear all them also how many times can you wear a pair of jeans before you have to wash them
If you get nothing on them
Right, why wash them? I don't I I would say
Three or four I left my fucking favorite pair of pants in Austin and I can't I haven't gotten over it
See and I I saw them
Right, I didn't know if they were yours though
Because everyone was still packing up their shit. You saw them and just left them there
I packed my shit up first. So I saw a pair of pants. So I was like, I don't know who stuff that is
So I'm just whatever so I didn't know they had a chance. They had a chance to make it
Like oh, no, these were these were jeans like
Did you forget another pair of jeans there or no, yeah
We just leave all your stuff in Austin, you know how I am dude
I leave shit everywhere. I have like two outfits at your house
I have like two outfits of like random people's houses. I don't even know. Yeah, you do
They were forgetful boy. Oh the other thing too. I wanted to say a
Corona related I have to sneak out at night because I like to like sneak out late at night
And there's a 24-hour spot over here
That has yeah, yeah, yeah, Eli's deli. Oh the deli. Yeah. Yeah, and I'm like, yeah, let me go here and just get some like
Toilet paper and stuff and I went live on Instagram
And I can't stand people being like, oh, dude, you should be inside
Like oh like go inside like this at one point. I just kind of broke
I was like, yeah unless you're gonna come here and wipe my fucking asshole for me
Don't tell me not to go out and get toilet paper
Why it's just like dude, I have to go outside to get toilet paper. Yeah
I mean, yeah, there's ways to social distance without going outside like there are other that's why I go late
That's why I go late. Nobody's out. There's other countries where like they can't go outside
So maybe they're confused by that but even me like I
Have been running and the only time that I go outside is when I go to my car to drive here to work
And then I drive my car back to my mom's but then I go running on the street and I'm not running in a pack
Like a bunch of fucking wolves
I'm just running on the street and I'm staying away from people and I'm not like whatever but people were just like
I like posted on my story when I got because I did a long run
That was like six and a half miles and I got three miles in and I ended up at some park
so I took a picture of the park right and
There were a bunch of people in my DMs like oh dude
If you're not gonna stay inside and don't post about it because you're gonna influence people and I was like, you know what?
fine
because
This is like whatever and I actually made it a point to tell people like dude. I'm not
Talking to people. I haven't seen any of my friends. No only people that I have seen are the people that have seen me
Yeah, like they're not seeing I saw Pete and Ralph for like two seconds
Yeah, distance
I'm not seeing I saw Pete once
Well in the beginning when we were doing the workouts in the park, but then I stopped seeing him
So I haven't seen haven't seen them at all, but I haven't seen you I haven't seen anybody so everyone's just like whatever
So now I'm just like fuck it. I'm gonna do my runs. I'm not gonna like whatever post anything or whatever
So I was like
Let me just not but I pee yeah people are freaking out
But I mean if we're good, I would rather that then no one say anything because at least people are like
Holding each other accountable in a way. It's just annoying because I know I'm doing the right thing
Yeah, and it's like I don't go outside and I need fucking toilet paper. Why is everyone fucking yelling at me?
Yeah
Everyone's screaming and yelling. I don't like it screaming. Yeah, like
Speaking of Tiger
King
Didn't you have something you want to talk about like animals or some shit? Oh, yeah
I'll get to that, but I wanted to actually you know what fine. I've been watching a lot of animal shit
Yeah, right. Oh, what would have been like your top three like quarantine like go-tos like watching was
Netflix anything so you're not gonna like this
Okay, but I I have suddenly enjoyed watching Jeopardy a lot
Okay
All right, not that I'm great at it
But I hate that you're using this quarantine to be smart like
But I'm reading books watching Jeopardy next episode you're gonna fucking glasses on watch
Yeah, but I need them because my eyes are stupid my eyes are dumb too. Yeah, you got dumb eyes. You do have dumb eyes
No, but I don't know. I just like watching Jeopardy
So I've been watching Jeopardy, but they only have these three episodes where it's the same fucking person
Who's like winning all the days?
Okay, like remember when that dude Ken went on like a fucking 50-day shriek or whatever was that like the weirdo like the
Coffee house weirdo or whatever that guy's name was do you have a beard? I
Don't know. Oh, there was one guy that had a beard who was like super like introverted and weird
Dude, they all are because at the end of the so I've noticed right at the end of the first round of
Jeopardy they do interviews of the contestants and it's just wild dude these people like yeah
So I like to paint my cat on top of my cat
I just give her a new coat every week and you're like what this one lady says she collects nail polish
I'm like get this fucking freak at it here
Collect all weird shit. Why don't weird people collect stuff?
Weird people love to collect things. I think anyone that collects things. Don't get it out of me
It's a little weird now collecting anything is weird
Yeah, do you know what Keith did one time he collected the tops of cans
You know like the thing that like yeah the pull tab yeah, why I don't know there was one person I knew who like
Remember when like those state coins came out
Yes
He like went and called all these banks to like go and get like every state when they would come out
And then like when like the second Julia came out. Yeah, he like went and got those now
You know nobody gives a shit about those things. Yeah, and then what wasn't there another person on the golden?
Coin not her. There was a man on there
On the golden coin wasn't that Harriet Tubman?
Or my bugging
Harriet Tubman I called her a man
She has man in her last name at least I
Guess you can make that correlation Harriet Tubman. See this is what I think about too like you know how like
This is what I think about too like people's last names have a genesis, right?
So it's like, you know shoemaker somebody made shoes definitely made shoes
Smith usually probably comes from black Smith, and they just cut it down the Smith
Tubman
Built tubs built tubs or enjoyed a tub because then I would be a tub man. I've been taking tubs. Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's another thing too. I've been taking major tubs. I
I've had a really love hate with you over this quarantine. I would never say I hate you, but it's I'm very hateable right now
I'm very aware of that. Yeah. Yeah, but you're kind of winning the quarantine
So it's like I don't really feel like I'm winning it like I'm having a good time
Like putting my apartment together and shit and like that's really cool
But like I haven't really picked up any other hobbies that that involved being like intellectual or cultured
So I hate you a little bit because you're cuz you're a cultured freak now
and all you do is drink wine and tubs and and read books and
Fucking you tell me something about some fucking club. You started and I just couldn't I just couldn't hear it and I was like
I was like, I can't hear this anymore. I gotta go do something productive and then I sat on the couch
For five hours. Yo, I took a nap the other day and woke up
Did had no idea what time it is. I've lost all track of time days
I don't even know what month it is like today's Easter only reason why I know it's Sunday and I still almost thought it was Monday
Yeah, I
I've been doing the same thing. I don't know what date is
I don't know what fucking whatever all the days are blending together
I'm really trying to like the only thing that keeps me from losing my mind is like in the beginning of the quarantine
I started just feel like the days were just passing and I was like, dude
I feel like I'm wasting months of my life
Like, you know, how like they say like every cigarette you lose a day of your life or whatever
Yeah, like I feel like because of the quarantine like we're locked inside and it's like a very pessimistic way of looking at it
It's like dude. I'm just like my I'm being robbed of
four or five months of my life
So I was like, I just be super busy and just I don't know well
That's not gonna keep you from going
Banana fruitcake over there. Yeah. Yeah, but I've been taking tubs man. Just I love it. I love a good tub
Hey, you're a tub man. Just I'm a tub man. I'm a Joey Tubman, but even with these things. It's like
It's crazy to think about
That
We could still be productive during these times, but just thank God like we can still do the show and everything
But like I'm really starting to see it now like motherfuckers have no jobs
You're starting to see it the fucking unemployment rate is like
That's what it was. I know but like the couple times. Yeah, it's it's ridiculous
But like the even like the couple times that I've gone out and it's like close close close close close
Close, close, close, close, everything is fucking closed. Yeah
like
Do you rough man and then they still they closed all the New York City schools
Yeah, I knew that was gonna happen though. That one's not shocking. I mean it's April. So there's two months of school left
And like it's we're not you know, do you graduate? I
Don't know
Because they probably like schooling they probably make them go to online school. Yeah, so that's probably why like that's fucking trash
You know imagine you know how unlucky you were to be born
Where this year is your senior year anywhere?
Yeah, like you suck you already said goodbye to your friends in high school. It's done
Oh
Hey, what do you want to what do you want to call yourself? I don't know vitamin C. Yeah, like what the fuck kind of name is that lady?
Vitamin C did she make any other song is that song about graduating or fucking killing yourself? Yeah, actually
I
Vitamin C, I think that song's about fucking killing. I did vitamin C. I'm getting vinegar and fruit. What the fuck is
Vitamin C featuring apple cider vinegar money is what song is that?
Graduation song, I think it's called no, no, no, I know but I typed in vitamin C me myself and I
But like she's got other songs
Bitches 47 she wasn't even in high school
What year was that that was 99 dog she was still out of high school
Fucking quadruple senior
Yeah
She has a song on from a 2001 album called sex has come between us
What does that even mean vitamin C?
Missy C. What does it mean you grow in minute? You're graduating high school and now sex is coming between you
There was a friend that she has a song called busted
And she has another song called I guess I'm just screwed
Is this lady have any good memories? Who's naming these songs a fucking 75 year old man?
Who's name at her clearly just someone who's charging names isn't good over here at some point somebody said to her
I want to be vitamin C. Oh
Also vitamin C on the same album as graduation song has a song called unhappy anniversary
Pick an age group she like let's just make an album for every age demographic there is
Song on there like the arthritis song like what the fuck?
Not that kind of girl turn me on vacation. I don't know
Bitch is crazy. Um, anyway, yeah, so I
I didn't help diseases have weird names like Hodgkins. I
Mean, I'm sure it's just a dude's name mesothelioma
That one I don't get that one sounds like a faraway land and what?
Yeah, like it's like yeah, like last summer I went to mesothelioma
And I'm like, did you see?
Did you see elves and unicorns at mesothelioma like the fuck is that dude Narnia?
I've been dying to go there. I've been dying to see mesothelioma, but fucking movie tickets are insane right now
And why is like mesothelioma like the most like you could sue anybody if you have it for some reason
Every commercial I see is this like if you have mesothelioma like you could fucking sue. I'm just like who me suing
Yeah, it's like yo, do I want it?
It's just like yeah, it's like yeah, yeah, yeah, we're gonna sue somebody
Cuz of mesothelioma and asbestos you say spestos or asbestos asbestos
Asbestos, it's a stupid name. It's a stupid name that for something that kills so many. Yeah, you're you're making us
Sound like we all have a lisp asbestos asbestos
Asbestos and then also asbestos sounds like something that could be kind of good like I'll have the asbestos
Yes, I'll have the chicken parm also kind of get a side of asbestos. Yeah. Yeah, you know, and it's like listen
I don't even know. I honestly don't know what asbestos is. I think it's like stuff in your wall is insulation
So it's illegal now, but people used to do it because it needs to be an insane
Temperature in order to burn or an end to like melt or whatever
So it would like help insulate the foundation of houses
But well, how do people get sick from it? They eat it. No because so when we redid our basement
there was asbestos in our floor and
We and as long as it's not kicked up, you can't breathe it in once it gets into your lungs
That's when it can cause cancer. So
So if it's just there you have to wet it so that it does it can't move
So you have to like soak the asbestos so that it becomes like a muddy sort of substance
I would have got the fuck out of there. Oh, I wasn't there for that. Yeah. Fuck that. I'll pay somebody to catch asbestos
I don't know. What do you even catch? I?
Don't know you got it like I don't know
I think they're linked. I don't know man. I might have to call fucking Salino and Barnes. Yeah
Hey, what can I help you with? Messothelium? All right, we got a case
This is a layup
Let's get another messy
Oh, no, oh, no, you're gonna die, but but let's get you paid first, but your kids are gonna get some dollars
Um
Animals oh, oh, no, no, no, I wanted to talk about so asbestos did you know so you've seen where's it of us?
Yeah, grace through it the scene where
Dorothy falls asleep in the poppies
Yeah, wait on her way to Oz and they all kind and she falls asleep and they're all kind of there
Oh, no, they all fall asleep right so that line goes down ten man, whatever
In that scene
For them to wake up
Galinda shows up with her wand goes like this and it starts snowing and that's what wakes them up
Right the snow in that scene
Is asbestos no way yes it is
That's a fun little fact about where's it of us the snow in that scene is all asbestos
Jesus two of those people died of cancer, but when they were like much older
But they died from cancer and it could have been from that it could have not been who the fuck knows
But the the snow in that scene is all asbestos
And didn't they say like one of like the little people hung themselves during that movie like it looks it really looks like it
It doesn't buddy, but he didn't from what I read that's not true
But there was a lot of other fucked up shit about where's it
Yo, I went down a fucking rabbit hole one day of Wizard of Oz shit if you want to go there we can go there cuz
I'm telling you dude. I think somebody killed themselves on there and they covered it up cuz somebody is
Swanging well they pretty they pretty much killed Judy Garland
Yeah, because she was like 14 or some shit when she did that movie, right?
They would give her sleeping pills to go to sleep after working her for like 15 hours
Give her sleeping pills so that she would sleep then give her pills so she could be up for a long time
Eventually this woman obviously developed a fucking drug problem and was addicted to God knows what ended up dying from that early
And when she died dude, she was like how old was Judy Garland? She died
Judy Garland
Jesus she was 411
Spinner she was like
47 and she looked a thousand. Yeah, she did not look good at all dude, and this is a beautiful woman
Do you like black and white wonder?
Wizard of Oz or you like the color you gotta give me call fucking black and white get the fuck
It's also like sepia tone kind of
Also, so the director of that movie which there were many because many from walked off the set because they were just like
It was crazy
The director in a scene once Judy Garland can't couldn't stop laughing
So the director pulled her aside and slapped her in front of everyone. No
Slaps a shit out of her and she was like 14. Yes, how old was she when she did that how old was Judy?
Fuck Garland during Wizard of Oz
16
So this guy took a bitch lap the 16 year old
Took her off to the side in front of the entire cast and crew and slapped Judy Garland in the face
During the Wizard of Oz. Yep
And everyone was like all right back to work
That just shows you how far we've come as people. I'll tell you what you know what it was. It was the times
It was the times
Also, but it had asbestos snow asbestos snow and that's the craziest part
They knew at that point that it was dangerous like they knew in 1930
Wait, what year was the Wizard of Oz? No, I don't know. I'm looking at a wizard. What the fuck?
It was released in
1939
Okay, so this is like right around World War two
Dude and also they they were
the director of the movie
Victor Fleming he
fought for
Somewhere over the rainbow to be in the film because everyone else wanted to cut it and he's like I'll fucking walk off right now
If you don't put it in and that's the reason why it's in
Also, the fucking bitch who was the wicked witch
That pain that pain that they have on her is an ordinary pain
And in one of the scenes there was like some fire or whatever and she's like caught fire
She had major burns on her bodies from the pain
How the fuck do you know all these weird Wizard of Oz facts?
Yeah, this movie sounds like a fucking nightmare to it was dude. It was it was it was insane
I'll tell you right now. I wish they made a Netflix series about like the truth about Wizard of Oz
I would watch the shit out of that dude. It's incredible
Also, the the famous Ruby slippers
From that right like you just got bars. I got bars the famous Ruby slippers from that thing some guy who was like
Didn't have like a crazy position. What is the director?
He was like the lighting guy or something my knowledge
He ended up being able to take those shoes and they're worth millions now. He just has them. Yeah, I think so
He's got to be old we could get those you want more facts now on the site
I remember these now Dorth a todo the dog. Yeah made more money than the fucking munchkins. I
Mean I see that a
Toto is kind of a big deal
Munchkins, you know one was hanging in the back, you know
Yeah
Dude
The shit is crazy
Wait, where's the where's it? It was like where's it of Oz?
Weird facts or something
Not so wonderful. Not so wonderful. Mm-hmm
All right, I need like two more
Yeah, so this is Margaret Hamilton was her name. She was like 410. She played the wicked witch. She had fucking
burns from her makeup
The wiki witcher the Westboro
Yeah, I love that video. I love that fucking video. She comes down in a bubble dog
Thank you
The wicked witcher the Westboro there was something in here about like
Yeah, Victor Fleming slapped Judy Garland in order to finish a shot
Today would be considered abuse and grounds for immediate dismissal
But 76 years ago slapping your star across the face was not only condoned. It was actually it actually produced results when
When Judy Garland couldn't get her giggles under control
When the cowardly line they made his big entrance director Fleming Victor Fleming didn't have time to play games
He took Garland aside whacked her on the cheek and in order to go in there and work
Fire
Imagine slapping the star that would that would be like if you like if I was laughing too much on the show
And you took me off camera slap me and made me sit back down do the rest of the show
Go in there and work go in there and work. I'm just a bitch. This is condoned
It's fine. Don't it's fine. It's fine because it's condoned. It's going to work. I swear to God
All right, so before we transition into a different topic that I want to get to
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Feel I feel bad for you. You don't get to take a pee pee break. I don't have to pee
You don't have to pee ever. I peep I drink water a lot during the show tonight the pee pee
The way you just
Have to pee pee
Animal stuff. No, no, no
Fuck the animals for now. I keep trying to get yeah, fuck animals
No, it's all right. No, no, no, no, we're gonna get to it. So yeah, this yesterday
I posted on my my story an excerpt from this book. I'm reading right. It's called the psychopath test and
It's basically what you pass what you pass. No, I don't
Okay, well
I'm in the middle of the book
So I don't really know if this is like the end all be all kind of thing
But at a certain point they had a list of 21 questions that if you if they all applied to you
Then you were considered a psychopath or if like a majority of them applied to you
but
In this book man the excerpt I'm gonna read it again
Right and there's a follow-up that I didn't post
but
Basically, so
The idea of psychopaths
Was foreign to many people back in the day before they were you know
There's a deep dive into mental health and psychology and all this stuff. So a lot of these psychiatrists would perform these
Weird sort of
Study groups or some shit these experiments with people with psychopaths with schizophrenics and shit
Just to try and understand it a little more of blah blah blah right in this one particular instance
This guy got a grant. He was Canadian. So the government allowed him to do this
He got us a room that wasn't that big
painted it green and all these psychopaths and
Schizophrenics had them stripped naked
All right, and now they're oh wait hold on this that's actually different
So that was that actually happened but before that there was a different guy who I forget his name. It's a
bit bingeroom
He would do naked
like
psycho
Analysts with these groups of people. So he would get a bunch of crazy people and make them get naked and study them
They weren't necessarily all crazy. Some of them were were like
Psychopaths nor yeah, some of them were just like hippies who are like free spirits and wanted to try this like weird thing
Okay, so one of the things though, right? So this is this is the excerpt
Bindram's most divisive idea was that he termed crotch eyeballing
He didn't struck a participant to sit in the center of the circle with legs in the air
Then he'd command the others to stare at that person's genitals and anus sometimes for hours
While he sporadically yelled. This is where it's at. This is where are we so damp?
This is where we are so damned negatively conditioned
I like I like this is where it's at because that's kind of cool look at that dude
Imagine staring at someone else's dick in asshole. This is where it's ours
This is it. This is it right at the pinnacle
The epicenter of love was in that deep ass look at his ass
This is where it's at. This guy's a sick freak and the follow-up is
Quote
Tell Katie what things happen in your crotch Bindram ordered her Katie was Lorna's vagina
Say Katie. This is where I shit fuck piss and masturbate
and
Then there was an embarrassed silence
Then quote I think Katie already knows that Lorna eventually replied
I
Know about that wack ass dick is what she's trying to say. That's crazy, dude. That guy. That's a wild thing
I would do it, but he believed that
When someone's naked they
Most vulnerable
Yeah, and there's less of like I don't know. He's like it just he think he thought it like would expedite
Opening up completely
Yeah, and it's a wild book so far
It's like a deep dive into the because so the the author this guy John Ronson. He's I mean Greg kind of uh
You know referred me to this guy, but he uh, I was surprised he
He does these like journalistic dives into
Certain industries or whatever that are like sort of niche and this one. He's just like kind of dives into like the
basically the history of
Psychopaths and psychology and all this shit. So it's like you're reading about these
extremely weird
Experiments to try and understand why psychopaths
Tick like how they take but like make a guy get naked
And like put his legs up and scream at his balls and ask a little gay in it. That's mega gay
And also weird. Yeah, you're supposed to be the doctor. Why are you doing that?
It's schizophrenic supposed to do that on his own. What kind of person
Thinks that then you name his balls an asshole
Yeah, what kind of person thinks that?
Let's form a circle put someone in the middle with their legs in the air stay at their genitals for fucking hours
And then let's scream at his balls
And then what's gonna come of that?
I could just imagine someone screaming at my balls right now
That sounds great
Sounds really good
Spoiler alert by the way. Yeah, check out wednesday, uh, new santa gato studios video where we scream at each other's balls
That'd be hilarious, um
Spoiler alert so like the other thing i was talking about where a guy painted a room green and then he had
Schizophrenic psychopaths in this room for sometimes 11 days, right?
And they would do weird stuff. They would encourage them to
Claw out the walls and scream and and do whatever right and just be
I don't even know very animalistic shit
Be schizo be schizo in a way
And they would feed them through like straws in the wall like it was weird. It was weird
It's like tiger king for humans. Basically. Yeah, no, it's way worse. Um, but i'm never gonna financially recover from this
Yeah, that guy says that the first thing there's someone with no arm and like down the street and you're like
It's gonna fuck out my money. Um, but uh
This this guy this this thing that they had right
Is it was interesting because like with the with the schizos and the psychopaths that were in there
After like at the end of the experiment they all were seemingly
More in tune with like emotion
And like that's one of the things if you're a psychopath like you have you you don't really have you can't read human emotion
And it's like this weird whatever
But they seemed more in tune with it and they were more understanding. They were helping each other blah blah blah
And then the study came out years later and it was like
Psychopaths who have like raped kids or killed people or done these horrible things
uh
They're 60 percent
60 percent of them are likely to reoffend when they get out
Right, so to commit another crime
In that specific group that this dude was doing with the green walls 80 percent
No, and they enter yeah
Yeah, when you feed them with straws through the walls guy, all right
But yo when they in they interviewed one of the guys right who who was like a psycho who like killed a person or whatever
Okay, after he got out
He was like, yeah, you know actually the the group if anything like kind of helped me
Mask my psychosis and I was able to act more like a person and I knew what would blah blah blah
So it like helped it was like
school
For psychos. Oh, yeah, and it made them worse
I look at it like this though, too. It's like uh
If like
If those people are already like criminal minded like some of them are like past offenders or ever and like
They're in that that thing you got to think that they're gonna get some kind of criminal
education there
Well, yeah, they just no being around that I think you just kind of feed off of everyone's energy
You know like this kind of behavior is rewarded. This isn't so this is how I can mask my shit
I would never ever sign up for any kind of weird focus group. I hate people that are like that. It's like you all do it
I'm like, uh, why?
also like
Those groups where it's like you get to just test things. Yeah
I don't I want the final version. I don't want to test eight different types of coca-cola
No, just give me the one you guys land on white people love trying stuff. Oh my god. That's why they flock to cosco
Yeah, I know they love to try they love trying
It's always this it's always a hand on the face and a point like I think I'll I think I'll have that
Yeah, and then the other thing I hate to keep going back to tiger king
But it's just one of those things that one normal girl who was like, yeah, I'll try like I'll get fake titties and like
Be like bogdads like bitch or something. It's like, yeah, what are we doing here?
Yeah, I mean
None of them are normal that that shows just
It's a lot of elements. That's what happened. What happened just happened to normal people
Where are they they exist? They're just not I don't know any
I don't know any
I don't know one normal person. I wish I knew one person who's just normal
Why am I not normal? Oh, you're a fucking maniac
Guy over here fucking reading books tub in
fucking
If anything, I'm I'm more normal. I I'm living my life like I just got out of a
Divorce no and the kids moved out to college. Yeah, I'm having a wine in the fucking tub. I'm reading
running
Yeah, but it's like it's ins and outs. You know what I'm saying like you've been a you a youtuber
Oh
Yeah, don't run from it. Don't that's what I am
So it's like, you know, you're gonna be a little bit crazy
Because you got to create content all the time. That's what drives people crazy
People don't understand trying to create content all the time. It can make you go a little crazy
I also think just talking to it. You know how many I for years I talk to a camera
Yeah by yourself
That already that already makes you crazy. Yeah does I think because you enjoy it too, which is kind of crazy
Yeah, you know many people go throughout their day not the thought to even talk into a camera doesn't even come into their mind
That's the first thing on your mind almost every day
It's I have to talk into a camera today by myself
You maniac and then you're out here doing other shit, too
Why don't you tell these people what else you're doing out here running around all over the streets?
And then you're going out here fucking
Starting clubs and shit not starting a club. You're getting progressively wider throughout this quarantine. I that I'm yes
Yeah, I'm a white bitch now. It's a white joe
Yeah, I haven't drank. I'll say this. I haven't had white claws. I had one white claw this entire world quarantine
This entire world this entire world
entire world I've had one in this entire world. This is the world now. This is quarantine world. Yeah, it is
Um, but I've only had one so I'm less white in that department
But I'm more white pretty much everywhere else. Yeah, you're grown in white. You're watching. I'm I I literally
This was my day the other day
I woke up
I read for a little over an hour
Then I worked
Came home
No, then I ran
Right, I went for a nice run. Then I came home took a bath
With a glass of red wine that turned into a bottle of red wine
Sounds about right
And then I watched jeopardy
Who am I
And the other thing is
Fully enjoyed every part of that day. Oh, I
Saying it back now. I'm hard. Yeah, it was a great day. You wish you were doing one of those right now
Believe it or not, I wish I was reading that book. Yeah, see see what see what this is. This is this is change everything's changing
Everything's changing
Change is right
Change, yeah
Also, you've been kind of like very inspirational on the internet and you've been tweeting a lot more
I will I will thank god
For a couple of things that have happened during this corona thing
I know it's a terrible thing people are dying people get sick. I understand people are losing their jobs
but
Instagram live battles have been very cool if you like music
Yeah, when they had RZA and premier yesterday
To my favorite producers of all time got to see that
Tori Lane's his quarantine show hilarious
Okay, that's just gonna sell way more records just because of that 100% he dropped an album the other day and it's actually pretty good
um
three
Joe's tweeting
And they're fucking deep
They're deep and then he he's listening to more music you're getting sentimental with some of your music too
I know you've cried during this quarantine at least once. No, I haven't you haven't cried yet during this quarantine
No, uh, dude, I got you beaten that category. I cry everything though
I haven't been tweeting that much yesterday
I was tweeting about the albums because it was the thing was like four albums. No skips was trending
So I did what the four albums did you do get rich? Yes
Get rich coloring book has a skip or two on it
Not really. I like that album. Let me see. I like that album a lot too. I love that album
Get rich or die trying hotel, california, which is that's my favorite album and then my dark twisted fantasy
It's hard for me to come up with off the top of my head the albums
I just know that when that coloring book I remember when it came out
I would listen to the entire thing multiple times like I would put it on and not skip anything
Hell, yeah, maybe maybe there are some songs on it that I
Don't prefer as much as the rest of the album, but like I still wouldn't skip them. I would just listen to them
Are you acid wrap or coloring book?
I'm coloring book
I feel like that's where it comes down to
I never got into acid wrap like I missed that whole thing like I it's a good fucking mix tape, but
Like shit with him and like donnie trumpet like that old shit
Yeah, if I had four
Oh no, man
See like for me, I would if if I could do this over and add mix tapes
I would take the drought three
Jot three is my favorite mix tape. It's not even close. I love the drought three
I think it's the best mix tape maybe of all time
I really missed that era though like the mix tape era where you had like little wane was dropping them
Like jadekiss was dropping them and it was 30 socks. Yeah
And they were amazing
It was great
Oh drought three no ceiling. Oh my god
little wane bro
He would drop he was he literally for anyone who didn't live
Through that time or maybe you live through that time, but you weren't like into music like that yet, which is understandable
Just to give you an idea a little wane
No exaggeration not trying to be funny not trying to stretch the truth at all
Was on every single song on the radio
Every single one had a little wane feature. It was like he did a thousand songs that year. It was insane
He's on everything
I feel like he doesn't get the respect he deserves
At at certain times because there was the era of wane and it was ridiculous
That I've never seen something like that like people are seeing the drake era and it's it's not even comparable
And he signed and he signed a little wane
Yeah, and dude it was like dude little wane's reign was the craziest shit. I've ever seen in my life
It was on every song
Whether whether how you feel about him or not like I loved a little wane. I love wazy
I loved him. I have fucking ever since like fireman and shit even back in the day bling bling
I remember was a good song. I didn't really like little wane wasn't really a thing back then but
like
Go dj. Who's my shit? I used to listen to that on my mp3 on the way to middle school
Cash cash
Yeah, he was the man. Yeah, he still is but like his music is not that great anymore because he like skates and like smokes
We need too much
Yeah, also friday night lights the the mixtape friday night lights if that was an album
It would be j Cole's best album not even close to my opinion. Yeah. Yeah
Uh, I mean, I'm still a big j Cole fan, but like not as much as I used to be
I'm still a j Cole fan. I I a big j Cole fan. I think all his albums are good
The all is that all of his albums are good. I just wish that he would let somebody else produce his album and he would just
rap on it
The only project the only project he's ever put out that I didn't
Absolutely love was for your eyes only and it was like a fucking ap or whatever. Yeah, it was okay
I didn't really I didn't really like it that much
There's still good songs on it, but when middle child came out we listened to that fucking song like 700,000 times in a row
Hell yeah, that sounds a fire a fire flame, bro
The the fucking
The come up you sounded like that kid outside in the fucking god damn
God damn hey, um
the the the come up
fire
Warm up ridiculous. That was also a great mixtape then friday night lights
Sighline story was like, okay
Born Center was fire force. He'll drive fire kod is fire
These are all great albums like they're just they're just good. I enjoyed all them thoroughly. I will say I'll go on record born centers
Born Center is fucking good
I listen to that mad times, but
Big j Cole guy, which one has mr. Nice watch on it born center. That's silent story. That's not a story
I didn't let me see I bought that album
I actually had the physical copy
of that, um
That story is crazy how he gave his demo to jz once
Yeah, that's awesome. Then he ended up signing him later on
Can't get enough lights, please
Lights, please turn up
Uh, mr. Nice watch cold world
Uh, god's gift maggots on workout. Nobody's perfect lost ones in that's a good. That's a good album. That's a maggot album
Yeah, yeah, also rise and shine shady. I fucking love that song
That's a good album. That is a good album
That is I think it's only because like in the morning was like out
Already lights, please is from the warm-up. So that's not really like it carried over
He monetized it probably. Yeah
And he had those like
I think lost ones was out too
Yes before yes, but drake you can't say drake's reign is pretty fucking crazy. Oh, yeah, it's it's ridiculous
I mean, it's been how many years now 11? Yeah, it's insane
No signs of slowing down really either it's kind of weird, but you know what's crazy I
There's not a drake album that I that I love as much as like
A j-call album
Yeah, as far as it being just like for the most part good because I feel like drake's albums
Like the singles are fire and then the the filler songs like you never hear them
Yeah, I mean he's got some fire some fire albums, but he does take care is fucking awesome. I love take care
take care of a great album and and um
Never be the same
Never be the same was good too. And like like I said, there's songs on scorpion was kind of wack
Scorpion was super wack at my yeah, the whole r&b side is trash
Nah, there's some fucking flamers on there, dude, but I feel you though. I feel you though
I'll tell you three flamers off that alone
The song with after dark with ty dolla is fire
um
Tell me in my feelings. No, no
I but it's a great pop record
Ty what he's gonna song with michael jackson. Yeah, how many spins did that get don't matter to me wasn't great. Um
The song with ty dolla peak is good and jaded is good. Those three songs are fire records
This album has 15 fucking song. It's just too long. Even he said it was too long
Yeah side a is good. Yeah, but even then like can't take a joke
Sandra's rose
Even talk up
Woodjay
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's like where is these songs mob ties is good
Um mob ties meant non-stop is good survival is good. Uh god's plan. I'm upset
um
Nice for what you know nice for what?
Is in my opinion one of the greatest songs drake's ever done. Yeah
That song is fucking amazing dude song is ridiculous murder beats kills that
I love that fucking song. Um, but
Yeah, music
People do look kind of like they like when we talk music though from time to time
Even crushing youth lagoon
No
Lagoon it I also I always listen to that album for I tweeted and people didn't know what I meant
That album truly has no skips. I never skip song that album, but uh, it's called the
Uh year of hibernation by youth lagoon. It's a very weird
Sounding thing that not everyone's going to be into and I understand that but white
Very white. Um, but it's it's very I love it. It's very good
Yeah, if you have to like
Think about stuff for like a couple hours put that album on
To me, it's like a
Version of it was it was lo-fi before I discovered lo-fi
Uh
It was just like this very relaxing calming music that I would listen to you kind of put me on the lo-fi really
Yo, everyone who I like have put that on around it's like, oh dude like they love it. I listen to lo-fi every day
Yeah, I start my mornings with that. Yeah
Well, I usually like would throw it on the tv here and I would like make my coffee and like do whatever while it's playing
Yeah, um the lumineers album cleopatra is the same deal. Come on, dude
Pack self suitcase, dude. Yeah
So good
I just want to wear I just want to wear suspenders and live in the woods. Hell yeah, I'm blowing to a fucking jug
Why did everything have xxx on it
What remember in cartoons like jugs and bags I've heard somebody say this
But why did they have xxx on all the jugs and bags because jugs are tits and tits are xxx
Isn't xxx like poison or something I know it's fucking porno
I know it's porno too. I think I think five x is is poison
five
Yeah, that's a surplus of x's
Yeah, plethora of x that's a yeah, that's a plethora of x
I really wonder
Like obviously everyone's on the internet now because you have to be yep
You know how like they're saying like you know the unemployment rate like skyrocketed like
200 percent or some shit
I want to know what the fucking pornhub numbers are like
Massive probably they have to be insane
Yeah, I haven't been watching a lot of porn. I haven't watched any turn of the teen
Turn of the teen. I'm gonna watch a little bit. I've had no porn. I've no no teen porn. No teen porn
um
Oh my god, you just said well teen porn is legal
She can be 18 19 so you're not in that deep of water. Don't worry. Okay, but you can't say you know
You can't be like
I've watched minor porn
I watch I watch more porn, you know preteen
You know, then I do I've watched more preteen than post teen. I've I've watched more preteen than post teen
porn
In my day, you know what I mean. Oh speaking of that
I've watched
Oh, no, no, no, no
Well, actually, yeah, I've watched so much fucking to catch a predator. It's unbelievable. Great show
There's nothing better than going on youtube and finding a uh to catch a predator that you haven't seen yet
It is the best
It's like finding new episodes of like your favorite show. Oh my god
And then there's like uncut versions too. Where you hear like the cursing and stuff
And I'm like, oh, this is what I need. This is what I need. I don't want to cut up
What's your favorite to catch a predator ago? Um
The one where the guy's naked
It's classic when the guy's naked. He's like hollow
And then he catches him like three days later at a mcdonald's. He's like, I'm just getting something to eat
Yeah, I'm just getting something to eat
Like what are you doing here? It's like I'm just eating. I have two favorites
one
Is uh the guy who shows up and he's just eating pizza. Oh jeffrey socle
I know I know this fucking name. He's a whole favorite. He's like, what are your dad or something
He's like
I fucking knew it
He's eating. He's eating pizza
Well christianson's about to send him to jail
And then he offers it to the crew. He's like, you guys want some pizza? Anybody want to eat?
I mean, we got it here. Might as well eat it. He's like, you said you were gonna marry her dad
He said you were gonna marry her. I mean, I mean immediately like down the line or something
Fucking freaks
My favorite my absolute favorite is this guy
And uh christianson goes
You know, she was 14
He goes, you know, she was talking to her and then she and then he goes you asked her
If she wanted to do anal and he goes, it's just a question
And then christianson is so defeated he goes and then christianson is so defeated he goes
But you're asking it to a 14 year old girl
I'm just talking
No, then it was he goes. What's the problem with that? What's the problem with that?
It's a question
These dudes are better off just being like dude got me send me to jail. I'm sick
Yeah, I remember one
I love I love this one too and the guy's like I try to be on tv dog
A little late for that dog
That's what he says so little late for that dog
I love when handsome drops fucking bars dude
He always does because like there was one time a guy comes down
He goes, oh, I brought chicken sandwiches and then he just appears from behind this like
Chinese changing curtain thing and just goes
And she goes chicken sandwiches. I love chicken sandwiches. Why don't you have to see it right?
Oh my god, there's another one too. He's like he calls our decoy boo
He's like, hey boo. I want to hang out with you tonight. Maybe eat your ass. Hello. I I would love
One shot to be able to do those voiceovers
I would be so much better than these people that do them now. I'd be like, I don't know. I don't really like older guys
T like that's already better
Smiley wink smiley wink. It's like maybe we can hang out. I don't know fuck
Like they're always so like whack with their shit
But this one guy keeps calling this girl boo and he follows her into another room and chris Hanson just pops out with the fucking uh
With the binder or whatever and she goes, hey boo, why don't you have a seat right over there?
Sons of immediately
You know
I also found something a loophole in it not a loophole in it
But like he's always like is this your first time doing this and then they'll be like, yeah, that's my first time. He's like
You know, I hear that a lot
I hear him say I hear that a lot way too much as well
And there's no way these guys have done. This is your first time doing that
Yeah, no, I feel like there's never a first time that you do that
Like you ought there has to be but you automatically start with like 10 of them
Dude, it's fucking that is the most wild shit. Also. There was that thing where it's like
There was an episode where the guy's like, what are you doing here? You're from connecticut
Yo guys like I was driving by it's like you've lived two hours away
He's like this one predator drove three and a half hours
Imagine you wanted to bang a 15 year old boy's butthole so bad that you drove three and a half hours to do it
Dude, I don't want to bang a lot
There was there's maybe four people in the world that I would drive three and a half hours to bang their butt
I love how you settled on the number four
There's jaylo
Okay, there's angeline and jolly during mr. And mrs. Smith. Okay, there's jennifer anison and there's and there's chris hamsworth
Yeah, um, yeah
Um, dude, I watched mr. And mrs. Smith the other day just like the ending
Brad Pitt and angeline and jolly are so fucking irresponsibly hot. Yeah, it's bad. It's disgusting. It's bad. It's bad. It's bad
It is just like yeah, of course
He left jennifer anison like did you not see they're shooting guns?
Yeah against people and they're in fake couples therapy
They're gonna have the sex. Yeah, they're gonna fuck each other's butts all over the house
All right, my floor is rihanna
um
rihanna
I mean
I would say jaylo but like that's yours. You can have it. Yeah, I would literally kill you eva mendez
Love love eva mendez big evil guy
um
Billy crystal
Yeah, and julia louis dryfus
Elaine that's a good fucking pick. Thank you. I don't you know, I love her
Like love her hell. Yeah, she's one of she's probably don't watch you don't watch veep though, right?
No, you would love veep
starting
I'm afraid to watch it because then I become obsessed to be honest
I literally more than jennifer lopez like everyone knows how much I love jennifer lopez julia louis dryfus. I can literally like
I don't think me and jayla would vibe
No, no, no, no me and julia would fall in love though. I would have a great time with jail day
I would
I'm almost upset that she doesn't know I exist
I just want I just want to hug her she was one of my she was one of my first crushes ever
I'm I'm I love her dude
My parents my parents would watch seinfeld and I'd just be like I like her she makes my pee pee do stuff
Not only that but she is still to this day gorgeous. Yeah for sure
Dressed like a fucking asshole on seinfeld though. Yeah
They all did though. It was the times
Yeah, it was the times you could throw a lot of stuff to the times
100%
Can we get into this fucking thing about animals how many times I gotta ask about it? Oh, yeah
So, I mean, it's not it's not a big thing. I just wanted to let you I just wanted to let you know that uh
Have you ever seen a ducks dick? Oh, yeah, it's like a squiggly straw. It's a corkscrew
I just found out the other day and also duck vaginas corkscrew
They just oh, maybe that's where screwing comes from
it's like
Maybe that's where screwing comes from it's like a pipe cleaner in a way. Did you know that ducks are monogamous?
Are they? Yes
A mallard and a drake
So if you see them together, that's a couple
I wouldn't be able to tell them apart, but yes you would
Two things two two ducks two ducks because drakes have the green head
No, no mallards have the green head
And the brown butt and then the drakes are some other color. I don't know
You remember when those ducks drakes are half white half black and jewish. Yes. I do remember when that duck bit me
Do you remember when I fed that squirrel a nut?
Yeah, I do that was pretty sweet and it took like an hour
Yeah, but I got it the whole park was looking at us like what are these two freaks doing and then when it happened
Everyone was like kind of rejoiced a little bit in their own hearts like they didn't make any noise, but did you
It's like a man fed animal
Let's go and I was like I need to wash back then I didn't wash my hands. I fed a squirrel didn't wash my hands
Yeah, I probably just went home and stuck your fingers in your mouth and your ass. Yep
Went to bed. Yeah, that's a full day for me. Yeah. Yeah
I don't ask too much of myself these days. You know what I mean? Yeah, I understand it gets overwhelming at certain points
You know what I mean? All right. Listen, it's it's east to sunday. So we're gonna wrap this up
And uh, you know go eat a bunch of jelly beans or something
Or some shit like that. Please tell your family. I said happy easter. Yes, you too. All right
And where can they find you bud? Uh at daniela priori on instagram and twitter
um
and uh
Yeah
Happy easter everybody out there
Hope you had a good one
Guys you can follow the show at the basement yard on
instagram and uh
Yeah, go check out the patreon. We have the daily show coming out still monday to friday
Patreon.com slash the basement yard and that is all
See you guys next time. Jesus
Jesus
Oh