The Basement Yard - #241 - Almost Got Stabbed By A Homeless Guy

Episode Date: May 11, 2020

On this episode, Danny has multiple homeless run-ins at 7/11's and whale poop. Enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Guys, go check out our patreon where you can get our daily morning show and next week's episode today Welcome back to the basement yard Danny. How you doing? Is that a new chain? Yeah More jewelry What are you talking about? That's it. When did you get that? I? got this like Two weeks ago really a week ago, maybe and I haven't seen about a week ago a week ago That's why that'd be tricky. Oh tricky. Oh, hey, but some of us if I see but those are the lyrics to that song You know those are the exact lyrics. Actually. I actually look them up on genius. Mmm. Yeah
Starting point is 00:00:39 Yo, by the way this morning. I had oatmeal. I forgot how Hard it is to eat that shit Oatmeal is fucking garbage. Well, it's good though It's it's a dying person's meal like when you're dying they give it to you For some reason they give it to old people who are like on their way out and they don't know what's what they can't put on their socks Right, so I'm like, I don't know if I don't put enough water in it, but it's definitely like eating quicksand But some people like they like their oatmeal lumpy Like some people are into like lumpy oatmeal
Starting point is 00:01:19 Lumpy like that's a thing. It's like I like my oatmeal lumpy, but what is what would oh, I guess that would mean that less water So it's like I Was eating straight sand today I was eating sand but people you ate oatmeal Like because there was nothing to eat or you're like trying to be like healthy No, I just ate it because like I didn't want to have fucking, you know, there's like fruity pebbles in the cabinet I'm like, well, you know, I'll go into a diabetic shock if I have that Hey
Starting point is 00:01:48 That wasn't sensitive that wasn't sensitive, but it's okay. It's okay because my friend has diabetes Yeah, that's true. That's true. Yeah, my friends are black Speaking of oatmeal, there's people that eat that shit every day like that's their go-to breakfast and it's fucking disgusting. I Was that person want I went through a phase. I went through an oatmeal phase Where like I would cut up bananas and put it in bananas really help because it adds some sort of flavor Oh, yeah, like blueberries and shit are great on I fucking drown this shit in cinnamon also Cuz and that doesn't help because my mouth gets even more dry from the cinnamon So you got dry and you got dry cinnamon, you know I'm saying desert mouth. Have you ever done the cinnamon challenge?
Starting point is 00:02:42 Yeah, it's it's yeah, it's impossible. I Think there's some way to beat it Like I think I looked it up on YouTube once and it was like there was like a way that you could like beat it I When I tried it, I tried to beat it so bad I wanted to and I just put the spoon in my mouth and I held it in my mouth and I wanted my saliva just to soak All of the cinnamon Yeah, but your mouth just goes nah
Starting point is 00:03:08 We're not gonna create saliva and it just like what I did When I did the cinnamon challenge, I did it out of a fucking tablespoon because I got tricked I this was one like cinnamon challenge like wasn't a thing Like not a teaspoon a fucking table. Yeah, I was trying to figure out the difference between those cuz I forget like You know, I'd never know what a tablespoon or a teaspoon just one Just pick a spoon just a one spoon would suffice Why do we need bigger spoons like how about put less in the spoon if you And it's also it's like use a tablespoon of olive oil and it's like am I really gonna pour this into a spoon and then into a
Starting point is 00:03:51 Skillet more dishes. Fuck that. Yeah, fuck this shit. I don't want more dishes. Yeah I'm so I have you know, I have a real bad condition when it comes to doing dishes. You have a Just double-hyphenate I did double a breath a dub Double-hyphenate. I fucked up. It's it's abbreviate. So oh What's a hyphen? Oh, that's like Julia Louis dry fists. Yeah. Yeah, like when you give your kid two names because you don't know who you love more or whatever That's another weird thing to me too Um
Starting point is 00:04:30 What that people change last names well, no, no, no, no, no like All right for girls, right when they get married. Yeah, most of the time They have to change their name to to a completely different name, right? We've talked about this. Yes now Whenever it is that you get married or whatever would you Be tight if they didn't take your last name we're fighting We're gonna fight in the lawn for it that's for sure you think so yeah, I mean Not just it would depend if she's fucking You know Pamela Anderson
Starting point is 00:05:09 Then I get it but also my last name is so long that I don't know if you want to add another name to that I Know it's like would you would you give into the hyphen? That's the thing I think I would give into the hyphen. I could I could be sold on it But it's like yo if if you're not if it's not like a Part of your brand then I would kind of be offended Damn, dude. You said that mad business like no because like if you're like a brand like you're you're let's say your Pamela Anderson I mean your your child is gonna be you know Little Joey Anderson San Agato, and he's gonna sound like a fucking bank. It's and that's a banks name
Starting point is 00:05:49 That's a banks or like a law firm. Yeah. Yeah, like what are we doing here? Are we suing people or are we a child in second grade? It's ridiculous Would it be a deal breaker? She was like I'm not taking your last name, and she and she didn't have a brand Kind of not no it would that's just an ego talking. I would like right I would like to be sold on it I also would like to be you know at the point where I don't know that is strange though Because I could get both sides it is strange for her to be like fuck no no fucking way But it also is strange that we actually change names like why? That's what I'm saying. It's like now you got to change like all your credit cards and shit and like you got to do mad shit
Starting point is 00:06:30 Honestly, if I was a woman That would be the main reason why I don't want to change it because I don't want to go to the DMV Yeah, fuck that or like have to mail stuff and just start you know dude You ever start like a new like a the new year like every time you would write the date on shit You fuck it up imagine your name is changed. Oh, yeah Like and I since I moved like I had to do so much like oh this is my new address Oh, this is my new address. Oh, this is my new address like 700 times and it's driving me fucking crazy Dude, and yeah, and you lived at your old apartment for three years imagine having the same last name for 30
Starting point is 00:07:08 And then now it's suddenly a different thing Yeah, that's why you literally become a different person It's so dumb. I don't know why we do that. It's so weird. Also. I feel like the name has to go with the last name though Yeah, there's nothing that goes with my last name. That's the thing No, that's not true unless I married like an Asian woman whose last name was like very short like Chen or something Seriously Like I got oh, yeah, like Chen Sanogato doesn't sound as bad as Anderson Sanogato. It's like it sounds like the name of a yacht It's it's a it's a syllable. It's a syllable game for you
Starting point is 00:07:47 Yeah, it's too many also a child with a last name with this many letters. It's irresponsible. It's gonna fail Like their test, you know how like they have those tests. We have to know how to write your name This kid's getting it way harder than everyone else. Mike Smith over here. It's got an easy path to success He's halfway through the test before you're halfway through your fucking name Joseph Anderson Sanogato. I Love that you you just picked that you're marrying Pamela. Yeah, you want to go carbon electric we can go there, too Dude, she looked fuck yeah Yeah, I'm not I don't mean to like typecast but like People in that career or whatever she had every excuse like look like shit
Starting point is 00:08:35 You know what I mean? It's like, you know time isn't usually good to people that like party and do all that stuff And I don't know what she's been up to. I know she's married to Dave Navarro so that guy's a fucking weirdo, but When she came on the screen and I was like, yeah, yep. Yeah, I remember her Yeah, so she was in the Jordan documentary. She was in the Jordan documentary for anyone who doesn't know and she came on the screen I was like who the fuck is this 23 year old? Just look at amazing Look at amazing. Can we talk about how you didn't talk to me on the Instagram story last night?
Starting point is 00:09:07 And you decided to just post a picture of ruffles So I really get tired of this shit. I'm really watching a movie Okay, but I know you weren't because when you showed the thing of the ruffles I saw on the TV It said the game show network. So now you're lying to me. Oh, that was after yes You know what movie it was? It better be a good movie. I'm gonna fucking flip. I thought it was okay the impossible Kim possible Call me beat me if you want to fuck me if you want to touch me. That's okay
Starting point is 00:09:46 Oh, you remember that that's so raven. Hey now, would you say now go can't tell she survives a pain now And the booze get break down. Yeah, everything go change now. Let's rock They have rough the weirdest thing about that shows that they went through her eye be cool if they went through her asshole Can you imagine she was like wait, I think I see something This is a completely different show It's gonna be a red light just for no reason just normal fucking things. But yeah, it's gonna be a fight What was that show even about? She could tell the future. What was it? Ah
Starting point is 00:10:25 Yeah, she could like see the future or some shit. I don't know man. That show is so we watch so much dumb shit No ordinary teenager Raven Baxter can see glimpses glimpses of the future. Okay Hey now, would you say now? Hey now, what you saying now? Y'all Frankie knows that front to back like yeah, not not one part of that sentence fucking surprised It's so well. Oh my god. Oh my god. Hold on. I want to call I'm gonna call them and make them do it. Oh, that'd be great See if he knows it so he also knows all the high school musical dances
Starting point is 00:11:08 That I that I know that I've seen yo Frank Real quick. I'm recording the basement yard right now. Can you do the rapping part of the that's so Raven theme song? The rapping part of the that's so Raven theme song Yeah Yeah, and he also knows the high school musical dances, right? You did one at my apartment once I at one point in my life had known the choreography to one song from high school musical I cannot confirm which song
Starting point is 00:11:55 Uh It was from high school musical too. It's called work this out. It's it is a banger. It is a slap Damn It's called work this out. I really want to do impress Vanessa Hudgens. Yeah I just you know didn't know how and that was the most logical step. Hey man. I I get it. He's got to talk that shit. Yeah What are you what are you gonna do? I mean if anything would impress here? It would be a then you know 15 year old boy knowing the choreography to uh one song from high school musical too Oh, yeah, honestly, honestly, you just missed it. You just missed her. I think I think that you you know if you would have
Starting point is 00:12:34 learned maybe one more song You know that Vanessa Hudgens I mean My life has progressed to a point where Vanessa Hudgens is not on the top of my list anymore. Uh, however I'm into learning dances just to learn dances. So You know, you know, why are you not on tiktok? Frank is gonna be on tiktok soon. Grow your dances I can confirm. I will not be on tiktok, but I will be on other forms of social media. Great. Thank you so much, Frank I appreciate you on the stake later, Frankie
Starting point is 00:13:05 Oh Frankie what a guy fucking nailed that though. He knocked that out of the park. He also did it at like 10x speed Hey, I was saying That's twisted unbelievably wild unbelievably wild. Um, another thing that's been unbelievably wild is uh All right, so let me just preface. Um, I know, uh, homeless people usually have some stuff but um I don't give a shit right now Or they don't have a lot of stuff or they don't have a lot of stuff and they're just dicks
Starting point is 00:13:39 Well, that's why they're homeless. They don't have a lot of stuff. Boom. But I'm out. Boom pow That was dope. I got them. Um, all right, so here's the thing I'm from new york I know homeless I've seen it. I've seen the ups. I've seen the downs Pretty much have been borderline homeless in my mind um But I've seen homeless shit and I've seen and I've had react uh interactions with homeless people
Starting point is 00:14:06 Of course, I've been in florida for two weeks And I've never had a worse Time with homeless people in my entire life. They don't have good homeless people out there They're terrible The homeless here are animals What happened? All right, so listen, did the homeless people were the ones who were biting faces? On bat yeah down here. Yeah, the bats all people. All right, so first one It's like two o'clock in the morning. I'm going to 7 11
Starting point is 00:14:37 At two o'clock in the morning Yeah, two o'clock in the morning. Okay Boy need pop tarts, uh, I get out I get out of 7 11. Uh, I get out of the car And a dude who's like maybe like he's socially distancing himself. He's like seven feet away, which is good Like I'm like, all right. He goes. Hey, man. I know you I go, oh cool. Like maybe he's like a fan of the show or something. I'm like, all right, cool. Like I'm like, oh Oh, cool, man. What's up? He's like, I was like, what do you know? Like what uh, you're a fan of the show and he was like, what are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:15:13 Then at this point I go, all right now I know this person's absolute fucking maniac and uh, he's like, what are you talking about and then I was like, oh, I was like, uh Like like from instagram or something Again goes, what are you talking about? And then I go Dude, all right, bro. Like, all right. So where do you know me from? He's like, I know you I go, dude what's good with you As soon as he heard what's good
Starting point is 00:15:37 It was instant mail challenge So he was just like, what's good? So now we're getting into a what's good off We're getting into a grown man. What's good off with a homeless person in the middle of a pandemic Yeah, in the middle of a pandemic, I'm really I'm willing to risk it all to what's good this fucking bum So I'm like, yo, what's good? What's good? So I go, yeah, bro. Yeah, I was like, yeah, I'm going in here and you get pop tarts and seltzer
Starting point is 00:16:05 I was like, dude, if you if I come out here and you're still like harassing me and like coming after me I'm gonna beat the fucking shit out of you I'm like now I have to scare this bum off So I go in there I'm watching him the whole time while I'm like getting seltzer and getting pop tarts and just gathering my fucking late night haven of snacks And I'm I'm just now I'm checking out and we're looking at each other through the glass in the window the fucking 7-eleven Okay So I get outside
Starting point is 00:16:36 The what's good off happens again. He's like, yo, what's up? What's up now? This wonderful Haitian man from inside the 7-eleven runs out with one of those like billy club bats Runs out one of the billy club bats and it's like, ah, get out of here. What I tell you about being around here Scared him off like a cat So I'm like, oh my god, I'm like, yeah Scared him off and he was short. He was like five foot two. Just didn't give a fuck. I'm not get out of here Like the whole thing so I'm just like, oh my god. All right. All right. So this guy ran off And I was like, yo, what's what's up with this dude? I was like, what this dude was bothering me the whole time
Starting point is 00:17:17 He's like, yeah, he's like like He should be in jail right now. I just called the cops. Uh, he stabbed somebody in front of here last week Bro I almost what's good in myself into getting fucking stabbed outside of a 7-eleven with pop tarts in my hand Uh, uh, Danny Lopiori, you know, he died doing what he loved Fighting a bum What's good in a bum, uh, he walks he what's good in right into a stabbing so You always did love saying what's good. Yo, that's yo, that's why I'm afraid. That's why I'm afraid of like fights
Starting point is 00:18:02 I'm so all right Even craze your story. You got another bum days late. Yeah two days later and this should you guys This is if this shit is You think any of this is false? May god strike me down with lightning through my asshole. Okay I go to another 7-eleven I get a pack of uno cards. This is a different 7-eleven Completely different one. I don't even go to that one anymore. Okay I go to completely different 7-eleven to get uno cards and a connect four set
Starting point is 00:18:41 Which I'm fucking amazing at yeah You're really good at connect four too, right? I love connect four Damn, yeah, you should play each other online. Yeah All right, um, so I'm in there. I'm getting the cards, right? and this guy was a the mystique of of Bumps like he could take a form of like maybe somebody who isn't homeless or like maybe some of that is homeless
Starting point is 00:19:08 He was so french home. He was so free. I didn't know he was a french home. Yeah. Yeah, so french home He had like wireless headphones on i'm like, okay, whatever like he's very confusing They wear like scarfs and you're like this isn't a homeless item of clothing like what are you? Yeah, are you homeless? That's that's what i'm saying now Like and he's he's on his headphones, right? I'm like I see him doing this so i'm like he's on a phone call whatever like this guy's regular Because I see him as i'm going in the store like i'm looking now i'm fucking my my bum sense is heightened to all-time high I'm like the spider-man of bum fighting
Starting point is 00:19:44 Oh Okay, good, you know You got some hairs on the back of your neck. You're like, I know a bum fight's about to go down Dude if there's a bum within like 700 meters, I could feel my fucking arm hairs This kid's heart rate starts fucking going up when there's a shopping around god So yo, so i'm in there. I don't have any previous contact with this person No, no exchange. No, what's good? Nothing not one thing not one thing between me and this fucking disgusting bum Oh, you'll know why he's disgusting in a second. Okay, did you guys lock eyes? Did you guys lock eyes?
Starting point is 00:20:37 Very briefly. Hey, man. That's a you know an eye lock is worth a million words they say Right, but i'm masked up too. So it's just like you know what i'm saying? So it's like it's not even like a full one It's just like you know a gaze a short gaze a glimpse A glimpse of homeless got into my eyeballs. Okay So I get the uno cards I get the connect for I'm walking out And as I walk out I hear He fucking spit on me
Starting point is 00:21:11 I'm sorry. He's He spit he spit on my back And I turn around and I because I hear the Like I hear I hear I hear you did not feel No, no, no, no, no, no, no at the same time it was raining in florida. So I was getting Fucking yes wetness all over. Yeah, you're just a wet boy So I hear And I turn around and as I turn around he does it again
Starting point is 00:21:45 To your front He's yeah, but I'm farther away from him now. He's spitting like I'm at my front. He's spitting at my front Wow, he's spitting at my front. Wow. So he's just like And I'm like yo and he's like I do and all this extra bum shit like you know what I mean like talking to himself like He had like these finger guns and shit and he was like I'm like, all right, this fucking dude is fucking crazy. So now
Starting point is 00:22:17 He fucking it keeps spitting at the car And now he's spitting at me all the time You know immediately like when something's happened like this, I'm like, yo, somebody else needs to see this I go I'm like I go to my girl. I'm like, yo This dude is fucking spitting at me And she looks up and she's like, oh shit. He is Spitting at the car now like fucking Tupac like coming out of the fucking thing like spitting at the camera and shit So I'm just like, yo
Starting point is 00:22:47 Now I'm tight Mad tight So I'm like, yo, I'ma fuck you up now. I'm like, yo, I'm gonna fuck this bum up I'm gonna beat the shit out of this bum Because not only did he spit on my back like he tried to fucking Houdini me, you know what I'm saying? And you know People that don't know what a houdini is when you spit on a girl's back And then they think you come and then they turn around you come in their face. That's what a houdini is
Starting point is 00:23:14 Jesus christ Anyway, uh, so now I'm like, yo, I'm gonna fuck this bum up cooler heads prevail I'm driving away Do not say he jumped on the back of your car No, no, no, no, can I can I say the word? It's the f word He screamed it at you Yeah
Starting point is 00:23:39 I mean go nuts. He's so this guy was incoherent everywhere was And then like Just fucking paranoid schizophrenia like type shit like all of it came back to that Couldn't make out one word. He was saying the one word that he decides to form is faggot He's goes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah faggot And for some reason the 16 year old in me just couldn't take this
Starting point is 00:24:09 So I pull the car over I lower the window I have a bandana over my face I looked this bum in the eye and I go wait here. Don't move And I drive I drive off And I was like, yo, I'm gonna drop you off here and I'm gonna go back there I'm gonna beat the shit out of this bum and I'm a spit in his mouth
Starting point is 00:24:37 And then I was like, yo Let's think about the outcome here You fight a bum Probably moves anything. That's enough That's enough But here's what I wanted to get to the whole thing. That's a salt brother. Yeah Spitting on someone is a salt. He assaulted me. Yes. You've been assaulted. I was assaulted by a bum Man times last night
Starting point is 00:25:04 I go into a 7-eleven and I don't have a mask. Okay This is a bum. This is this is a worker. I don't have a mask So I tie a shirt around my face. I'm running in. I just want to read those dude. I just want cool rain I Go in there and from behind the glass When I tell you that this guy looked like the fucking slicker dude from last action hero This guy was disgusting and I don't want to judge him But he was the only reason I'm judging him was because what he said to me
Starting point is 00:25:36 As soon as I get up there, I get up there with he lets me walk around the store Get the cool ranch Doritos in my hand put them on the counter goes. That's not a mask I go. Yeah, but it's it's cloth. It's tied. I understand. No, I'm saying I'm really really polite. I'm like, yeah I know I'm sorry. I forgot it in the hotel and he's like, uh, he's like it's not a mask and I was like, okay Do you have a mask I can buy like can I buy a mask and he was like no and I was like Okay, and then I was like do you have a go I say I was like I see these bandanas here
Starting point is 00:26:10 Can I buy that go outside put it on and then come back? Does that qualify? He's like no I'm like, okay So I can't buy these Doritos and he was just like no if someone comes in here looking as ridiculous as you do right now We could get shut down Joe When I tell you that I fired off on this dude I look at him in the face. I go dude I go look at you right now
Starting point is 00:26:40 You're fucking ridiculous. Can I buy the fucking Doritos or not? Because now I've just had it with just fucking 7-11. I'm never going to a fucking 7-11. I was just gonna say Maybe never again I was like, dude, I was like, yo, do you like think I'm like and then I like I felt bad because I was like, yo Do you think I'm like one of these like homeless dudes in here coming in here at three o'clock in the morning? I was like I came in here in a car my fucking wallet is more expensive than anything in it I'm an idiot. So I'm just like, you know, I'm like, dude, I just wanted Doritos
Starting point is 00:27:12 Can I get them or not now I'm getting I'm fucking tight and he was just like, no, you look ridiculous I go, dude, look at you. You're you look ridiculous And I was like, fuck you I said fuck you to the guy And I sat in my car for five minutes and I actually went back in and apologized to him And when I apologized to him, he goes can't be in here without a mask. I don't know how many times I gotta tell you I go, yo, man. I I open the door. I just go, yo, man. I want I apologize. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you Like I'm sorry. I cursed at you and then he just goes you're not supposed to be in here without a mask And I was like, you know what? Fuck you and left
Starting point is 00:27:48 You're having quite the run-ins at seven eleven, buddy, dude, and I don't and I and I wait and These have all happened at different times of the day though. The bum spitting was the earliest one That should was it like two o'clock in the afternoon the guy spit on my back You would think that is a late night sort of action spitting, but apparently not Maybe you shouldn't go back to seven eleven. Is it is it wrong to like be bothered by home like like not like them If they're spitting at you, that's what I'm saying If the pups spit at me, I'd punch them. I'd punch them in the holy face bro
Starting point is 00:28:28 I've been thinking about this fucking bum for four days How many days it's been this bum has been on my mind day and night It's got real estate in there I never asked. Do you like Kid Cudi? Um, I never really got into him. I don't dislike him. I just don't know I like some of his I think I think you would like he could I think you would like Kid Cudi Yeah, I don't know. I haven't I haven't really listened to him to be honest with you Did you hear the new song you put out with Travis Scott? No
Starting point is 00:28:59 It's fire. Yeah, what's it called? Yeah, it's dope. It's called the scott's because his name's scott in real life Yes, um The other thing I wanted to ask you to You've been going on all these runs, right? Yes. What's your what's your music rotation like right now? um Like are you going albums or straight singies? I make I yeah like I'd make playlists And do you run to like straight rap or do you or the type of person you could run the opera like you're just a weird freak
Starting point is 00:29:29 No, no, no, no. I either run to like so I have a running playlist. There's a bunch of rap on it. It's mostly rap But then there's some old there's like, uh Smells like teen spirit Uh thunderstruck paranoid By black Sabbath. So you so you just have like every uh like high school Football fucking uh panama. You know what I'm saying? I like tape. Yeah
Starting point is 00:30:01 Yeah, dude, I'm fucking I'm out there. Um, but it's mostly rap. But yeah, or like what's the one song right now? Not eat but like, you know, some shit like that. What's the one song though? That's like You know like every time you're working out and there's one song on your playlist though that you play seven times in a row What's the song right now made you look by nozz It's just the one that gets you going right now I can't start with that song and needs to hit me on like Like two and a half miles in and then all of a sudden you hear Dope and you're like, oh
Starting point is 00:30:35 You just take off dude. It's great. See like now. Let's get it all the perspective. I'm like, oh my god I'll say my caught top. Let's say the titties is out. Yo, that was one of my favorite obviously for me But dude, that was one of my favorite fucking lines of a hip-hop song ever I probably look insane when I run because I like I really get into it and when I'm tired. I like literally Like I'll I'll do this I'll be running like I just ran for a touchdown like this is our house I swear to god when I get tight like I'm running and I'm like I'm in pain. I'm like, ah Yeah, you have to
Starting point is 00:31:11 people Like have different ways like expressing themselves like when they're exercising That's fully normal to me. Like if I saw that, I'm like, yeah, my man's getting it. It's crushing if I didn't even know you Oh my god And when I'm in that zone of like I want to quit so bad But like I'm forcing myself to keep going and there's a bunch of that and I see people Who are Who we're jogging
Starting point is 00:31:33 And then are walking now. I've never done it But a part of me so badly just wants to like lean in just go let's go Get up Pick it up Just freak out on them. They're like, what the fuck dude? It's turning to a fucking high school coach. So like screaming at people give me 20 Yeah, I just uh, yeah, I've been listening to the fucking I can't stop listening to 808s
Starting point is 00:31:59 Yeah Yeah, it's a great up. I always go back to to street lights and paranoid from that out too Why are you so paranoid Fuckin amazing with GZ's on there. Obviously heartless is on there. Yeah, that album is so fucking good Yeah, amazing. It's amazing. It's like Like the NBA's theme song. I feel like Oh, yeah, if you slow anything down and like show a layup with that song in it, you're good. It's amazing And you're like, wow, that was fire
Starting point is 00:32:34 Yeah, we have to when this quarantine is done. We need to film a mock 30 for 30 About the basement yards And make ourselves look old And just make it hilarious all of these things like you like I could just do that We you know, we have to do that dude. You're rich. You have money. You have money. I can't I was about to hire a Hollywood team to come in here and put gray hairs in our head. Even though I got a few Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something Look me in my fucking digital face right now and tell me that you would not love to
Starting point is 00:33:14 get old cosmetics Put on your face and walk around as an old man for a day a day I do that for a whole month It'd be amazing. I Dream of no matter what you can't take nothing from me just to just to be like Completely old like yeah, you don't know who I am And just like noxville bad grandpa shit. Yes Yes, I would love to do that and just fall down. Can that really be how expensive can that really be?
Starting point is 00:33:44 It's probably expensive to be honest with you. I've looked up for a couple grand. They have these masks that are Like Hollywood grade masks and if you buy them online, they're like close to a thousand dollars Let me see you got a house. Sorry. Yes a house phone. I'm gonna take this. I'm gonna take this phone call He's taking a call. Yes. Oh god Hey What are you doing Yes, yeah, this is what Danny does he puts on fake voices. Yes Why does he do this?
Starting point is 00:34:44 Yes, what is he doing? All right So they asked me more fucking questions at the bum It was the it was the spit bum. He wanted to spit on me again I'm saying yo, I'm staying in this hotel and the hotel has been fantastic. It's been great. Whatever these people won't leave me the Fuck alone. Do I need to take surveys and shit? Yeah, they were just like, uh, everything all right. I'm like, yo, if you ask me if everything's all right I'm gonna fucking rip everything off the wall in this place
Starting point is 00:35:11 They're like, is everything or is everything all right? I'm like, you know, the privacy thing is on the door to leave me alone God, are you ruining my fucking show? I got bums fucking spitting on me Got people calling me. I got fucking a whole bunch of shit going on And I'm just trying to live my fucking life and now these people want to call me and ask me if I need Fucking towels. All right, you know what you take five. I'm gonna do these ads. Okay. God damn it Yeah, I'm getting really yo, I can't take this quarantine shit anymore, dude. All right. I'm fucking I'm breaking down I can't fucking take this shit anymore I want to I want to talk about something as far as the quarantine goes after we come back from ads
Starting point is 00:35:52 Oh my god, please. Is it gonna be happy? It's kind of funny All right, uh, the god I want to kill that fucking bum. I want to fuck shut up fucking face the first uh sponsors that we have for today is uh fiver Fiver is a platform that helps keep businesses moving with a network of trusted freelance talent Um, so if you need people for graphic design copywriting Uh web programming film editing or stuff like that you can go to uh fiver and search by service Deadline whatever you need. I've gone on there and used it for uh graphic design before you can see people's profiles and see like
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Starting point is 00:38:26 N U T R A F O L dot com promo code is basement Okay, so go check it out for hair as strong as you are um And lastly here we have magic spoon Um, which particular hit particularly hits home for me Because growing up I used to be a big Uh, sugary cereal guy, you know, you wake up and you got these cereals and you start your day with about 400 grams of sugar And that does nothing for you throughout the day. And that's why kids are crashing and falling asleep
Starting point is 00:39:01 in class But now with magic spoon they have these, uh cereals that are amazing and Kids won't know the difference and like I for one I'm going to use my own code here and buy a bunch of this shit because they have zero sugar 12 grams of protein And only three net grams of carbs in each serving. Okay, it comes in four flavors They have cocoa fruity frosted and blueberry, which all those i'm down for
Starting point is 00:39:31 Um, and it tastes amazing. Okay, uh, my favorite one is actually the the frosted one. They're great Um, but go check out magic magic spoon go to magic spoon dot com slash a basement to grab a variety pack And try it today and be sure to use our promo code basement at checkout to get free shipping Okay, and magic spoon is so confident that their product is backed with a 100 happy and it's guaranteed So if you don't like it for any reason they'll refund your money. No questions asked That's magic spoon dot com slash basement and use the code basement for free shipping I mean if you eat cereal and you're trying to cut back on sugar or you're trying to be a little healthier This is definitely a good alternative
Starting point is 00:40:08 Like I said zero sugar 12 grams of protein three net carbs and it tastes good. All right, so Time to go check that out as soon as this episode ends. I'm gonna order 15 boxes. Okay Um, but yes, that is all we have for today. Danny. How you doing? Did you just take a hit of your inhaler? Yeah Oh boy struggling today, aren't you? I'm just mad at this again worked up over these bums. They're messing with my shit. I hear you man. I hear you Well, listen I wanted to talk to you because there's something funny that actually I saw on twitter. I'm trying to find it now
Starting point is 00:40:42 um, but there was a Billionaire Right who had posted on his instagram I believe his name was david geffer or something like that And he posted a picture of his yacht, which is the size Of a stadium basically
Starting point is 00:41:02 Okay, and he posted something like uh the sunset. I'm stuck in Wherever the fuck he was some beautiful place and he's like I hope everyone's staying safe The fucking balls on this guy Dude, there's people who don't have one dollar And you're on your fucking yacht. That's bigger than 18 of our houses We're we're like in the world was he Granted Dean wherever what is that granada? I don't granada
Starting point is 00:41:37 I don't know is granada a place. I don't know. I think that's a bruno mars song I think that's like a like when the when the bad guys that call a duty would throw a grenade at you No, but so this I went into looking to the ship the the yacht can accommodate uh 18 guests right and a staff of 55 people
Starting point is 00:42:08 Wow Why even if you had 18 at all times, why would you need? Three people to every person That math has to be wrong. It's a little wrong But if think about it if it was 20 and 60 it's 18 and 55 it's close to three Now now I really want to know how many people to a person It's like to my cal. It's like 2.7 or something I'm gonna I'll be the judge of that. So you said it's 55 people, right?
Starting point is 00:42:41 It's 55 people 18 total guests. Oh, you're right. It is. It's 3.05 people Yeah, so it's 30. Yeah, you're smart dude. You did that in your head Dude, because think about it if 55 was 60 and 18 was 20 then it would be three Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what you did. You went up and then came back. Okay. All right. You know, good good good form It also has a basketball court Yeah, what on a fucking boat This guy is flexing hard on this quarantine. So listen to this also
Starting point is 00:43:13 There's something I wanted to point out to you that I never realized and I I'm gonna ask you this question. Um, okay The luxury yacht is also equipped with a full gymnasium A wide-ranging wine cellar and a sauna and a spa The basket the basketball court on the main deck doubles up as a helicopter pad When required and the private cinema features are an enormous plasma screen offering limitless entertainment To royalty and celebrities alike So they have a basketball court where you can also land a helicapa Fire dude imagine having that much money
Starting point is 00:43:52 That is insane And now the question I wanted to ask you About this because I was looking up facts about this particular boat. Jeff Bezos used to own it I guess he sold it to him. They're passing around boats like their horse. What is going on? You say used to own it used to own it. Did I? Yeah, I think he said owned it. Damn it. Um, he's dissed that boat. No, but he uh Yeah, he Jeff Bezos used to own it and he fucking you know passed it to this guy some other rich white fuck and then
Starting point is 00:44:23 Whatever So how fast? In miles per hour Oh, no, do you think? Generally boats that size go Like don't even think about like just like a random number think about like a boat goes from like here to florida Right like how fast do you think that boat's traveling? Like 110 miles an hour. See that's what I was thinking
Starting point is 00:44:56 But from what I'm reading and this is shocking this fucking boat ready A cruising speed Of up to 26 knots. Do you know how fast that is jack sparrow? I don't I don't know what a fucking nod is I don't know anything about knots A cruising speed of up to 26 knots can easily be achieved and a maximum speed of up to 28 knots Which if we go to gagoo
Starting point is 00:45:27 Right and we go knots to mph Because we're not sailors. We're fucking regular human beings. Yeah, what I say 28 knots 28 knots is let me guess go ahead I 200 and 15 miles an hour 32 miles an hour Okay, now how do you get anywhere? Hey guys, uh, we're taking off from new york. We're heading to boston. We'll be there in three days. Yeah, dude
Starting point is 00:46:13 This boat although it's insanely cool and I would still get on it 32 Hey guys, how about knots like Let's just say miles per hour because it's not far off. How about how about here's your knots How about not making it so fucking slow? It's fucking 32 if I were to go to the deli it'll take a couple hours. What the fuck? Yeah, I think I'm just gonna uber. It's good. You can take your knots and shove it up your fucking ass It's like, oh, we're gonna go to florida
Starting point is 00:46:47 No, you're not Because you know florida might not be there by the time you get there, dude You know, there's two there's two quotes that you say that I just realized because we're saying knots You're big. Can you stop? guy And can you not It's I mean I'm just I'm just blown away like I get it's a giant boat, dude
Starting point is 00:47:13 It's so big and whatever So it makes sense that it wouldn't go I mean 200s. It's ridiculous to me Yeah, but I'm thinking of it like this, right? How would you even slow down a boat that fast? But when you're on a plane, you don't know how fast you're going until you look at the clock And listen, I'm not comparing a plane to a boat It's going six hundred miles an hour I know but it's so big
Starting point is 00:47:37 and there's no road So you don't really see anything and it's not like clouds are going Yeah, but you can see attached to the wing is a giant jet That's just a boat But a boat engine, you know, you don't know if it's electrical, you know what I'm saying, you know You know, it's you know, it's or it could be a high pitch, you know a high pitch one, you know Or something like a good No, dude, I was blown away by a 32. I thought at least they would go like a like 70 like a car
Starting point is 00:48:19 Yeah, no wonder you need basketballs and helicopters and fucking movies You're gonna be on the fucking boat for the rest of your life. Oh, we're gonna go to new jersey Okay, I'll see you in a week then the people are like, yo, I'm gonna sail around the world. What the fuck That idea to me now sounds so insane. You're gonna sail around the world. That's going to take your life Yeah, the world is huge First of all, if I was gonna ever do anything around the world sailing is probably on the lowest Part of this fucking totem pole is buried under the ground You're gonna tell me that I'm gonna have to depend on winds
Starting point is 00:48:59 And the speed and have to drive this thing just so I can go to fucking Turks and Caicos No way, there's just no way I'd get on a boat and I do like a quote-unquote sailing with an engine for Maximum a week and even then on the sixth and seventh day I would probably have a connexion and you know, there would have to be doctors involved, but Just wind Nautical people are weird Dude, yes
Starting point is 00:49:28 Like ocean people like like they're just they're weird. They're weird Like for you to like be like, yo, like I just want to like everything's like sailing or like boating Or like being on the water. I'm like, dude, you're not a fucking fish I don't want to see you go spear diving. I don't want to see you do any of this shit that is just Not necessary people who reason we built wheels and planes is so you didn't have to go on a fucking boat Also people who just carry like a compass. I'm like if the girl of my dreams We're sitting on my couch. She pulls out a compass. I'm like get the fuck Out like I don't know where west is that's a thing. No, I don't I have no idea or north
Starting point is 00:50:14 And I every time I look up in the sky. I'm like, that's a north star and then I'm like, wait I don't know where shit is just 55 north star But I like not knowing where shit is, you know, and if you know where stuff is and you have a compass to double check Go data pirate then. Okay. Yeah, because it's not going to be me I would only travel with two people who would have to be will ferrell as the old prospector and then uh And then captain jack sparrow. That's the only way you can get me on a fucking boat I also just don't understand why people are like Oh, dude sailing's dope. It's like, yo, we built engines so we don't have to do that
Starting point is 00:50:50 Like that would be like saying dude, we built titanium birds that fly at 600 miles an hour Don't tell me you want to take the scenic route and it's beautiful the fuck the ocean is the ocean I'm looking at it right now. It's beautiful for 25 seconds and then there's it becomes scary There's nothing there. What about those boats that you just like hang on and then the the fucking things like Like What is that like side sailing? What the fuck a parasailing or is parasailing when you're an asshole and You have to run on the beach for like a couple seconds to jump. What's that shit? Yeah, that's parasailing That's it's dumb too. I've done that though. I haven't done it. I'm scared
Starting point is 00:51:29 I would do it. I tried to do it one time When I was in Miami, I was on the beach and I saw people doing it I'm like, yo, we should do that and they were like, yo, you've had a ton to drink and I was like We should probably should wait a little bit before we go, but we didn't go. Yeah, you're not driving the boat Yeah, I mean you want to be a little coherent just in case one of those wires snap and you're you know, you're plummeting towards See would you go would you go hang gliding? Are you fucking insane? Hang gliding There's some fucking new Zealander just like tied to my back. He's like, oh, man. You're gonna fucking get off that
Starting point is 00:52:04 It's fucking it takes like fucking kick your feet, right? Kick your feet, right Jump up Dude, well, I'm gonna run to the end this fucking clip. Yeah I'm gonna jump us off and now we're fucking hang gliding. I'm good, dude. I'm so good on that I because I'm just scared like, yeah, hey, man. How about like a jet stream or something coming just knocking us on our anuses Also, I don't like when you're on like terrifying things and people are like you got to put your hands out or put your hands up I'm like, let me be terrified and close to myself. Yeah
Starting point is 00:52:37 Yeah, I'm not like you ever see like the skydiving videos when the people are like this and they're like the people on the back of them are always like Yeah, and like they're trying to like take their arms off of their parachutes and be like, yeah, like do this I'm like, dude. I'm not risking my life to shaka, bro to Or fucking a fucking pin on this thing That's like on a roller coaster like after you get off a roller coaster and you go look at the picture of yourself like on it And then your brother goes you need to put your hands up you pussy. I'm like I had fun. I was there. I was on the same train Is there anything scarier than when you're on a fucking ride?
Starting point is 00:53:14 And the thing that locks you in but you feel your ass lift up off of the fucking thing You're like, I'm leaving this train. I'm like, I'm someone hit the eject button on me and I'm gonna fucking die now. Yeah It's terrifying. It's terrifying But I'm the type of dude. Did you ever see I'm gonna do scary shit But there's just some things I won't do hang gliding is one of them Hang gliding is is ridiculous. There's not even anything to protect you like where we gonna we're gonna land like a bird Like what what are we doing? Where are we flying? These are all white things. Yeah Like those people that jump off and like base jump and like squirrel suits like what are you doing?
Starting point is 00:53:51 I made that and was like, I'll test it I hate that and then it's also like there's always like russian dudes like Climbing up cranes and shit and hanging off of them at one hand with to like deep like russian reps like look at this And they're like hanging off the fucking side of a building like acting like they're walking on air I'm like, dude, what do you do? Yeah, why are what is with like how bored is it in russia? How bored are you? Is there nothing to do except climb buildings and cranes? It's unbelievable to me. It drives me fucking crazy because a part of me is a little jealous But then a part of me is like, you know what? No, no, this shouldn't be this shouldn't be a thing. This shouldn't be a thing
Starting point is 00:54:33 There's climbing that should be things Climbing isn't fun anymore. Okay. We're adults. Okay. We stay on the ground. That's what we do. We don't climb Children climb you want to cry climb or a little tower in russia? That's great, but I'm looking at your child your child Imagine walking and just be like, dude, I want to bomb that so bad All right, dude, stay on the fucking ground and shut the fuck up. Yeah, stop climbing You just gotta stop. Why are people so infatuated with flying? We can't fly. We do everything else. It's amazing We don't need to fly and the scrolls through people Flying's not enough for them. They're like, all right. Yeah, we're gonna fly off this mountain, right?
Starting point is 00:55:12 And we're gonna fly right through the woods and you're like This dude's like dodging trees. I might do just go somewhere where it's open at least go to like, you know Not only were you terrified before we're gonna go through the fucking beams of a fucking bridge We're gonna ride right through. I'm like, dude. No, we're not We're gonna go right down to the ground where my fucking parents are and I'm gonna say this was a great Fucking birthday gift and hate them for the rest of my life. That's it. That's all we're doing We're gonna fly through devil's valley I don't know what we're doing
Starting point is 00:55:44 You know We're just assuming that you want to make the left to dark side cave or you want to go straight, right? Right, but dark side cave not doing it. Yeah, fuck that The witches culture and we're like, yeah, what the fuck? What are these names? You know, it's it's weird when you go to when you go to um, like mini golf places and it's like you want to play it reverse It's like that's just a mini golf That doesn't change anything. It's just you want to play the holes backwards. I'm like, no It's like, dude. Does that mean that my ball starts in the hole?
Starting point is 00:56:20 Yeah, what are you talking about now? The first holes is over That's another thing I hate about mini golf too is that they that the last hole your ball's gone Yeah, it's a racket It's a racket. It really is it really is and I hate when there's like two different ones. It's like, yo, we could do the pirate lane Or we can go like the sea boat Uh, the sea liner lane. I'm like, no, no, I want to do both dude. How do mini golf places Stay open because oh this quarantine had to crush mini golf mini golf places are closing all around the world Mini golf might be hit the hardest by this quarantine
Starting point is 00:56:58 Think about how much they've spent on building these elaborate things and then you go there and like, yeah, it's it's $15 to play I'm like, how are you guys making out on this? Yeah, I don't see how they make money at all and There's something about mini golf that I just love like it's like one of my favorites. I love it especially when I when I kick their ass in it, um but I'd be but the thing about mini golf is that it makes you feel like you can actually play golf
Starting point is 00:57:30 For a split second for a split second. You're like, oh man, like I can actually play golf and uh I mean, I'm not terrible at golf. I could drive the shit out of the ball, but it's for me This quarantine has not let me have any of like those that I wish this quarantine was like All right now I could pick up hobbies that like involve a little bit of going outside Like oh, I can go hit so like I can go to the range and like hit some balls Like that'd be awesome. You should just order clubs and just hit balls into the water Actually, no that'll kill dolphins or something, right?
Starting point is 00:58:04 Yeah, yeah, I think that's littering or something or like a whale can suck it into its blow hole And then who knows what happens then? I saw somebody uh said uh A whale's heart valve is like the size of like Like like a Cadillac Escalade Or some shit somebody like said that it's like in the comments. It's a big fucking valve That's a big old fucking valve Do whales shit?
Starting point is 00:58:31 Yeah, yeah, I mean the ocean's full of of shit. Do they pee is the question That's probably why the ocean's so fucking full. Wait Do fish pee? Or is it just poo? I know they I know part of them. Oh, I know they shit too, but I'm saying pee Yeah, and they fart too fish is fart Well, everyone's got fart But I have to youtube a video of a whale taking a shit. Do what? Do whales
Starting point is 00:59:00 pee When it comes to pee production whales are world champs. Well, I guess they do pee A single fin whale is thought to produce about 1000 liters, which is 260 gallons of urine a day What 260 gallons of fucking piss the ocean you're swimming in whale piss And that's why it's so salty Yeah Oh fucking piss enough to fill a 10 by six Enough to fill a 10 by six kiddie pool
Starting point is 00:59:37 Oh Man the hose isn't working. Oh, look at this. I think Joe could bring his whale over Dude, look at this next next sentence whales combine their champion urination with deep dives and long migrations Who the fuck wrote that? Oh my god, I'm watching a whale take a shit I'm watching guys takes a urine sample from a killer whale at sea world Dude, you have to look up this video of this whale taking a shit Wait, I'm watching a killer whale take a piss. Give me a second. Holy shit. That was fast
Starting point is 01:00:16 Dude Oh, you're watching him piss. I'm watching him shit guy just walks over these people are taking a yeah You're watching a shit. I'm watching a piss But these these girls are taking a selfie in front of the whale and the whale's just pissed it into this cup Wait, what kind of cup is it like a small cup like a yeah like the kind of cups that you you pour champagne into Wait, what is it whale shit whale shitting? I typed in whale poop. Oh my god Is this the one? Yeah Varsh, she blows diver caught and whale poo nato
Starting point is 01:00:55 Is this the one that one just still photos if you go to humpback whale takes a poo in front of divers This shit is gross Okay, I'm on the humpback whale taking a shit uh video You go to go to like no no no a minute and 30 a minute 30 We're at a minute 16. I kind of want to build suspense for this shit Which one shits there's two whales here
Starting point is 01:01:23 This this thing taking a shit looks like a like a like a plain blue an engine I hope it's not the bottom one because now Oh Ew, it's green Yeah, dude. It's hovering. He's just shit clouds Ew, that's like an old alcoholic shit Go to go to temp dude. This whale is not healthy dog. Yeah. No, this is sick. I know shit
Starting point is 01:01:52 Go to 233 and look at this fucking shit trail that this thing is leaving Oh my god, look at that shit cloud We're talking hundreds of feet of shit That's pounds and pounds of shit Oh, here we go shit and water looks so weird new video georgia aquarium beluga whale takes a dump Oh, yeah, they take poops, dude. I think I've seen a beluga take a poop before I just typed in beluga shit It's it's beluga takes a dump god. Where's this dump, man? Where is georgia aquarium?
Starting point is 01:02:30 Yeah Oh, I got it. It's around 26. Oh Ew, and oh that is sprays and shit dust It wags it around It wipes it around it froths it and shits and immediately wafts Now the other beluga whales are swimming through shit. Does it stinky? Does it stink? Oh my god, it's the other one took a shit This is it one time a day where everyone shits
Starting point is 01:03:01 It'll do yo go to 22. Oh my god. This actually this tank is ruined dude. There's shit everywhere. I can't see the whales anymore If you go to two seconds go to no no no go to 21 seconds georgia aquarium beluga whale takes a dump right that's when you're on Yeah, yeah All right, put the playback speed at 0.75 Slow motion Hold on watch where it comes out of Okay, it comes out the front Trying to find this shit and it looks like a solid piece of shit at first. Oh it coils
Starting point is 01:03:39 That's not it. Yeah moron That's a fucking that's like a rope That's it shit. That's not this shit. This shit comes out at 21 seconds Play it from there. This shit comes out of its front and then turns into shit dust. He wafts it. No No, what you're looking at that thing you're seeing in the front I wish I could like all the way to the left, right? No, no, no, I'm not talking about that I'm talking about the shit that comes out of the whale look at the whale's tail 22 seconds 24 oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no it comes out coiled
Starting point is 01:04:18 Oh my god Why does this fucking whale shit looks like somebody just slid in the second base Honestly, this whale shit looks like a pig tail And then yeah, it comes out coiled and then they just beat it to shit Yeah, a whale shits a coil. Okay, so just in case you guys are aware about a beluga whales It shits a coil and then it just turns it into dust Just starts beating it shit up. Do you ever take an old rug outside? That's dirty Joe you have to let me send you did did I send you that picture of my poop? Yes, you did
Starting point is 01:05:00 Yeah, she did That poop was outrageous Yeah, that was a big poop. I'm not even gonna lie to you. It was a big poop It was one of the longest poops. You know, it was bad. It was a submarine poop. So like the top of it was out one piece like a fucking Cuban cigar But times fifth, you know, it was the most amazing shit I've ever taken in my life. Yeah, it was a fat cigar poop Dude, it was huge. It was it's one of my like, I don't know why men take so much pride in big shits
Starting point is 01:05:33 What was in that poop? We're talking about like pop tart poop Uh, yeah, that was probably the day after a little bum fear pop tarts and uh Because you know, you know the feeling when you're poop You know, there's you want to take a good shit you get almost stands by a bump You know, it's When you're when you have to breathe in between and it's still in your bh Yeah, and you know and you know at a certain point when you're shitting you're like
Starting point is 01:06:03 This one's long. So there's no way I'm pinching this So you have like catching a fish. It's like just nice and easy It's like just come on you start breathing because you're like I have to keep my asshole relaxed because if I pinch it I'm going to ruin this And then like when it does break like I lost them. Yeah You gotta you gotta put your phone down like I can't be distracted. Let me focus Yo, that shit was astronomical. I mean, I really wish I could show more people this poop But not a lot of people want to see poop like like yeah, I didn't I asked you repeatedly not to send it and you sent it
Starting point is 01:06:40 Anyway It was a feat. It was a feat. I looked over at this just blue because shit everywhere It's gross There there there is just something I I don't know what's wrong with men Um, maybe girls do this. I don't know. Tell me in the comments. I guess but Why are we so infatuated? with
Starting point is 01:07:05 duty Like the size of our shit We're gross Like you you can't lie and say that you've never taken a picture of your shit and sent it to someone. Oh So many times You know, but like why are you like and then some people just don't want to be recipients of shit Yeah, I mean, I don't but I like it's poop. Who gives a shit Good one, dude. I'm on it today. Yeah, you are
Starting point is 01:07:37 Bump fear has done you well I hate you're wearing it. Well, I don't want to come off rude and be like, yo, like I hate bums But like right now I do I have a love hate with bums. I used to be a great Bump hoarder. You were just a you were an advocate for the bums Yeah, dude, and I still am and like I want to help people but this dude spit on my back Like I was some salute That's that's a hard thing to to come back from getting spit on, you know I get it especially by a fucking bomb
Starting point is 01:08:09 During a pandemic Pandemic bum spit That's the worst kind that sounds like a fucking grunge band What's up, everybody? We're fucking pandemic bum spit. Let's do this Also, I love all music. I'm sorry guys, that's tough screamo you could keep that shit Mike what the fuck is up denny's? It just sounds like everyone's like speaking but like inward Like when you talk outward, they're like
Starting point is 01:08:48 And you're like dude, this is not any type of Oh singing So there's been two things that I've uh been youtubeing just profusely um And it doesn't make any sense, but it's been catfish and it's been Crazy poker hands What a fucking
Starting point is 01:09:11 Like and for some reason I'm just like oh man like he needs a nine on the river Like and I'm just like what are you doing? You don't know how to fucking play poker. What are you talking about? You don't know how to play poker? No, I do but like not like to the level of fucking these guys got these like 13 time bracelet winners Daniel and the grano. I'm like, all right cool Guys got fucking bracelets going all the way up this fucking shit. It's like dude And I'm like, yo, don't fold your arms. You're playing poker. Jesus a part a part of me Was wanted to see have you guys ever interviewed a professional like poker player or a professional gambler on opl
Starting point is 01:09:46 no That'd be kind of cool. We did interview many catfish Oh, that was the next question. I wanted to ask you Have you guys you guys just did an episode right where the catfish Fell in love with the catfish anyway. Yes. Do you want to hear? So I've been watching so much catfish. None of that makes sense to me I'm sorry. No, it doesn't But listen, but listen to this this one was particularly wild
Starting point is 01:10:13 So if you go to the episode you can go to youtube.com slash other people's lives. It's called uh I got engaged. I got engaged to my catfish Yes Yeah engaged my catfisher YouTube.com slash other people lot other other people's lives, but in this episode my mind A girl when she was 14 Was getting catfished, right?
Starting point is 01:10:39 So she thought she was talking to a boy Who was 20 or something, right? Not le I don't think that's legal Uh, definitely not. Um, and Then it ended up being a Woman who was 22 years old. So now we lied about gender and age So now there's a 22 year old woman forming a relationship with a 14 year old
Starting point is 01:11:06 woman illegally lezzy and then When they were when she became of age they started dating and uh Got engaged at disney world And then during the engagement
Starting point is 01:11:28 the the og catfisher Decides that she wants to transition into a man So it's a lot, but they're not together anymore. Um, spoiler alert But it was just a whole yeah, it didn't work out just you know I'm gonna say this and I don't know People that get with like underage people they don't wait till they're legal. They fucked Oh like tyga and Kylie Jenner Yeah, yeah, they had sexual intercourse. They they seized
Starting point is 01:12:06 seized Scissored. Ah, yes. Yeah, scissoring. It's like this. I know what it is You think scissoring is cool if you're a lesbian Fuck no, you don't think it's cool to just mash your post on another post not one bit scissoring is not cool I don't know. I kind of think if I had a vagina and I was just Mash it up against another vagina and like the pressure and like the Kind of be dope. I don't know No too much work
Starting point is 01:12:35 I mean, you know Sex is work. It's a you know, we're here to build it sex is a job. We're here to work Very true. Very true. So that's true I gotta put it down for the scissoring. I don't know. I mean, it's probably not the greatest Listen, I'm not bad. I'm saying you could probably you could put it down You could probably scissor the shit out of somebody. Do you think really strong lesbians do standing 69? Oh, yeah, hell yeah, dude Dude, they pop that shit up like they're about the tombstone somebody through the canvas, brother
Starting point is 01:13:04 That's kind of that's fire Yeah, dude Yeah, dude Um, imagine yo you were you were dating a girl, right? And she was like just fucking yo like like I'm like a monster like china Yeah, like china. So you were dating china r.i.p. Um, and you were like and she was like yo come here I want to do standing 69. I want to hold you and fucking undertake her tomb stop style While blowing while sucking your dick. Would you let her do it?
Starting point is 01:13:41 Probably yeah, probably for the story I would do I would do it for the story. I mean, yeah Dude, I would do it for the story, but it would never happen again because I would feel so no no no Imagine just a woman holding you up And just sucking your penis and then just throwing you on the couch And then just throwing you on the couch after head first Through the and then pinning you And then doing this and rolling her eyes
Starting point is 01:14:16 For the one two three Oh I would do it too. Fuck it. All right. I gotta wrap this up because I have to piss like you would not fucking believe right now Well, as long as it's not as much as a beluga whale No, definitely not that many just maybe like a pint or something. Okay. Uh, all right. Where can they find you bud? At daniela peoria on instagram and twitter, please go check out the stank podcast me and mr. Frank alvarez Uh, I just call him frank. Uh, you call him frank I go back and forth
Starting point is 01:14:49 Yeah, well me and mr. Frank alvarez, uh youtube.com slash the stank podcast And check out our patreon patreon.com slash the stank podcast as Vel Uh, guys, you can find me at joe sanagato. Go check out the videos youtube.com slash joe sanagato if you haven't already And uh, i'm gonna go take a piss Patreon.com slash the baseman yard and go follow us on instagram at the baseman yard for a bunch of clips of the show And that is all See you guys next time

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