The Basement Yard - #242 - The Adele Weight-Loss Conspiracy Theory

Episode Date: May 18, 2020

On this episode, Danny poops his pants...again, Joe gets in a Twitter war & much more. Enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Guys go check out our patreon where you can get our daily morning show and next week's episode today Welcome back to the basement yard a little bit of a different setup. You know what I'm saying We we wanted to back up the cameras a little bit because you guys are all up in our face You know I'm saying sometimes I get pimples and motherfuckers calling me on saying I got herpes. Oh Oh Santa herpes I'll take blame for that. I try some trial and error with the show. That might have been close to my herpes Yeah, yeah, dude. I feel bad that I got close to your herpes

Well, I just want the record to show that I don't have herpes. Okay, we're all clean I just got a I got a sweaty corner of my mouth and that's the issue, you know Yeah, that's all it is. It's just it pulls up there. It's just gathers and then I you have a Reservoir for a sweat pool and you know Sometimes I don't shower immediately when I get home from a run or something. So that's Yeah, I should you know Yeah, all right, so this llama So this llama right before we started the show Danny goes, so do you know about the llama and I'm like

What does that mean, dude? Like All right, so apparently there's some llama and some hidden location bells like fortnight llama we gotta find I know And apparently has antibodies that can help cure corona. How do we know that? Because doctors did test on these llamas antibodies. I'm reading it right now and They're saying they're hopefully they could use a fucking a treatment plan with these llamas llama antibodies have been used in work related to HIV and Influenza, so you telling me fuck llamas are out here curing AIDS the llamas are the key to AIDS The llamas are the key to the cure of AIDS. They're not the key to AIDS

I think that was a someone had sex They're the key to AIDS full disclosure In a in a in a time of like exploration and experimentation where you're like can I eat this berry? Which is poisonous this and that I don't think it's that crazy to like fuck a monkey like obviously It's crazy to fuck a monkey. I'm just saying it's not crazy to see a monkey and go those things like a bad boon It's like yo this ass is just like it's begging for it. It's red. It's like it's fat red It's like inside out kind of and you're just like I might have a little you know might test it out I might I might have to fuck this monk, but the only thing

But not Would you trust the reason I wanted to bring it up is that would you trust if it didn't work and it was just clinical trials Would you let them inject you with llama wait they put poop in me? Oh No, it's not shit. It's just Well, yeah, all right llama blood. Yeah, I trust llamas in my life You know they're mad innocent and sometimes they have like flat tops like Odell Beckham. They're dope. Yeah We met a llama. You remember we met a llama at the zoo and he was very nice He was very nice and he was kind of like purple. He did have he looked like a big bruise

You know, yeah, he looked like if if Prince was a yes Wow, yeah Thank you every once in a while But it's crazy that we've gotten this far into coronavirus and Now we're it's so bad that we're looking to llamas To help save us Why haven't we Found this llama you said it's a secret location. Are we is this like a llama on the run?

No, no, no, I think they're just trying to keep it like Keep it under wraps because people the people will probably come looking for this llama and do horrible things to it drain It's blood and like shoot it directly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Because you already have people out here drinking. Yo, I'm sorry But I can't feel bad for you if you actually thought no that Injecting a Lysol into your body was a fucking sick thing to do I I'm sorry. I

Can't wrap my head around it that not one part of me would ever look at bleach and be like, you know, it's a smart idea I'm gonna drink this Just throwing it back Yeah, that's like The other thing I wanted to know is the toilet paper like pandemic over like can you get toilet paper now? I don't even think that was a thing. No, it was dude. I couldn't get toilet paper for mad long Really? Yeah, dude. I was using baby wipes for like a week Dude, I'd rather use baby wipes. What are you saying? I know that but like I usually finish off with a baby wipe

I used to soft to get to get the bulk Okay, I just wipe that asshole To like Sanitize the whole sanitize the hole because what people don't realize is when they wipe their ass if it's not Front to back like perfectly aligned. You're getting some of it on the side of your cheek Of your ass. Yeah, so you got to make sure that's where you get a lot of your skid marks from boys is makes you from cheek from from cheek because Wedgie's obviously give you skid marks. Listen, I know I know a thing or two about skid marks

I don't wear white if I had a power washer against my asshole And I got a wedgie. I'm still gonna have a skid mark like it's just the way it goes Would you let your laundry go out? Have you are you ever do you ever think about like, you know, this one was just seeing a skid mark from my fucking musty dirty disgusting ass every Every time I do that this girl that I went to like third grade with her mother Apparently worked at the laundry mat this one day because I've never seen her in there

and I know the ladies at the laundry mat and I went there to drop off my shit and She goes, oh, hey Joey, and I'm like, oh, no She's gonna see my poo-poo panties, dude Seriously, she's gonna see the poo-poo panties, you know, she's gonna be like what the hell is this kid was trying to clean up peanut butter Like what is he doing? Why do we still buy white underwear? It's not even white dude. I could darken up, you know a Charcoal gray pair for sure Charcoal gray. Yeah, no, no charcoal gray. I could definitely I could definitely shit

I could definitely I can mess it up. I can shit those up. I can shit those up. I shit my pants recently. Oh Yeah, I heard about yeah, I was riding a skateboard It wasn't a full poop. No, no, no, what you were riding a skateboard your third. Yeah, no I was riding a skateboard in my hotel room So I had a I had a huge suite and I was just riding this skateboard back and forth to like the door and like to the window and Where did you get this skateboard? Did you beat up a 14 year old? No, no, no, no, my girl brought it. She had like a Not a regular skateboard a longboard a longboard. Oh a long boy. Yeah, I wasn't like I wasn't doing fucking like Johnny tsunami

Yeah, yeah, I wasn't doing like pop shove. It's in the fucking Conrad, but it was yeah But I was just like yeah, this is cool and then I tried to like make a joke, but as I was joking The joke was a fart. I want to admit the joke to be a really loud fart It always is so I was like, you know, let this be this really loud fart it's gonna be funny everyone's gonna laugh and I immediately felt the left side of my ass cheek get wet So I broke the barrier. I broke the sound barrier and shit was trickling down Thank God, they were briefs and the briefs caught the shit trickle and that's what happened

So yeah, and then these were navy blue Wait, there was that much shit dude. I fucking shit my pants Wait, so it was like a there was wetness. There was a slide of wet Yeah, it was a it was a wet slide and it wasn't allowed throughout the underwear. Yeah, of course Yeah, yeah, but it wasn't loud. It's just like But it was just followed by shit Let me ask you a question now. Did you still have to shit afterwards or was that the full Immediately went to the bathroom and took a biggest double tapered shit. I've taken it a long time

Yeah, okay, that makes sense now. I just had this shit It was just like, you know, like when you burp and there's a little bit of like reflux after Just in this from my asshole burp the reflux was shit So, I mean Listen, it's just you know, that's a lesson to be learned there when you do childish things You're gonna have childish results. Yeah, it's very true But they were navy blue and I darken those things up those things were Yankee blue after I was done with them

Pinch striped blue dude. You going with the polar seltzer today? Yeah, it's all I have in my uh polar is fantastic Polar is great. It's very bubbly Also, yo speaking of shits. I had this written down in my notes and I don't know why but Oh Sometimes when funny things happen to me and I'm like, this would be ridiculous to say then I write them down and I just wrote Saw a video of a guy breaking his leg and I had to shit immediately

And so I don't know if my just like oh Response is connected to my bowels But in that moment it was because I saw these two guys fighting. It was like a fight compilation You know, sometimes I like to see people just knock each other out on the street. It's my blood going Yeah, and honestly, I know it's bad But like when people get knocked out to hit the concrete and have a seizure that's like oh, this is kind this is yeah Yeah, you know like he'll be alright. He's just fucked up Yeah, like he's shaking like leave him alone, you know, I don't like when people kick people in the face though

I don't know how people's heads stay on in those videos That that makes no sense when you just get like a how strong is your neck? You just get like a Ukrainian Deodora tight race racer shoe to the face and they're just like yeah, it's a kick and they're just like And everyone's just like let him go. That's enough. All right enough. I was like it was enough. Yeah four punches ago Yeah, like the kid is having a seizure and you can't like too much here, but anyway, so fucking It was a fight compilation and this kid goes to pick another kid up and They both like go to the ground and you just hear a fucking it sounded like a tree fell just snaps his leg

Yeah, broke his fucking leg like broke it like snapped it like it was insane and then The kid who like was fighting the kid who broke his leg was like oh Like I was like back it up and then immediately I was like oh and then my body's like yo, we got a poop now So I had to get up and go to the bathroom take a shit dude It was so weird like immediately my body was like yo I understand that you're having like a reaction to this like broken leg But we got poop right now think about how many times throughout the day you clinch your asshole You going

Do that go You're a butthole clenches it does What when you think about what my butt just my butthole just clenched so tight. Yeah, like wait. Oh my god. Do that go wait wait. Oh It's a tight butthole, dude Your ass probably gets the most exercise as like out of any body part on your body Like I'm talking right now. My butt my buttholes just going like this It's just opening and closing like it's you know, yeah, I touched my butthole the other day Yeah, my buttholes so tiny I

Haven't really tiny butthole. Yeah, I mean, I think that's good. I think you the smaller the better You know, it's like the opposite of penis. I don't know. I don't know I know and think about you had a big butthole imagine you went down there and you're like, yo I'm this is that you're doing this. Yeah, and not you know, you're serving a plate down there You know what I'm saying? Like you don't want to feel a whole big butthole like a bad boo I don't want to touch my asshole and feel like a hors d'oeuvres waiter at a bar mitzvah like I don't want to fuck Yes, sir. So you're doing this thing, but yeah, that your asshole would just be like an inverted ant hill like This is my big dude

Ant hills amazing you ever finger an ant hill fuck. Yeah Dude, I just I had I feel bad. I'll be honest with you. I feel bad So I do it slow because I like I don't want to kill any of the ants, but I do want to fuck up what they built So I'm like, I'm gonna finger this ant hill very slow and you just see all the ants being like no no no no no They run away our lives work Oh my god, dude, I have fingered mad ant hills over the years. Do you know I haven't done that in ages I didn't go outside right now find an ant hill finger it right now. Did you know that ants? um

Like when there's like a weakling like a guy that's like fucked up and like can't carry like shit anymore They take them and throw them off a cliff. They kill them Damn, they're ganks. Yeah, dude. They're like, oh, you can't work anymore straight. All right They pick the ant up and throw them to their deaths Like in north korea or like everywhere everywhere, this is this is yeah, this is no like uh Communists anything it's just like we're just gonna kill this ant because he's a bitch It's just ruthless just a bitch. That's like don't birds do that They're like, oh, yo today. We're flying and then the bird's like wait. I'm not ready like that's great

Can't come out the nest and then they die. Yeah, they're just like get the fuck out of here And then the the mother bird doesn't feel anything when your bird's just like on the floor looking like an uncircumcised dick. Just like fucked Yeah, I'm quite familiar with that sadly Yeah, I know Yeah, I know yeah another struggle trust me uh Speaking of birds These giant hornets are birds

I saw a picture of one and it was and it was in someone guy's hand and he was just like this And I was like, I'm like, that's not a bee Like it's like most hornets. I'm not a scientist. They're like these hornets right here. I'm like, what the fuck is this thing, yo? He's like holding it on his wrist. He's like this hornet. I'm like, dude, that's let's get a new species going Let's get a new category of fucking animals now. Yeah, dude. Bees are this big. I should do this. All right, and Listen bees are this big wasps are this big These are this big huge They're the size of fish

Any bee and they kill bees and they have venom If I see one of those things I'm gonna walk around with a tennis racket because if I see one of these things it's fucking It's on site. You want to know like remember when you would kill a bug? But if it the bigger it was like the more killing it got like you would just be like, yeah Yeah, so fuck you coming in like fuck this like you take out your aggression like on a big ass bug I I can't say I just I agree. I don't know what you're saying. All right, so the more scared I am The bigger the size the more scared I get of a buck. That's just me yes

And then you get fired up when you kill it then I get fired up when I kill it Like we were like two fucking gladiators in the roman coliseum And one of us was gonna come out alive and I have to kill this thing And after I kill it I need to make sure that it's dead So I just stomp it into oblivion and then I'm just like, oh my god. What have I done? And then I'm like Just leave the body there. I don't know how to clean this up And then it becomes like a murder scene and then I'm like, uh, it's just a water bug Let's just get rid of this thing

But if I were to kill one of those things I would rip its head off and walk around the a village with it And being like I slayed this fucking dragon of a hornet I want this thing. I want it to be known that I've murdered one of these one time Let the other hornets know like hanging the head outside of your apartment So they're like no going I used to have this thing when I would kill a bug I would go I really hope you're not gonna say something that is gonna freak me out. No, no, no, no

Every time I would kill a bug I go tell your friends I What you would kill a bug and then say to a dead bug Tell your friends He can't tell his friends I would just turn to the toady soprano after I kill him be like tight friends You're just like before before you step on a bug like look at my face. I did this to you Sometimes so I have killed you're a freak. I have killed bugs and purposefully left them there

So their friends could be like oh shit like John got whacked like we're just gonna like Not come here anymore. Like they're killing us out here I really don't know if bugs like React yeah, I think they do. I think they're reactionary like they see one of their boys dead. They're like fuck. This dude's crazy But how would you not how can you not put two and two together like fish keep eating? you know hooks and You know a mouse mice kept getting caught in like traps and shit like you would think over the years they'd be like Oh, yo, like there's one old wise mouse. That's like bro. These are what traps look like don't step on this

But they always do yeah, we just we just caught a mouse in my mom's house actually We had a mouse in our apartment for like six years And my dad was like the only one that would ever see him Like he was very little and he would just like run back and forth like yo Thank you dad is the only one who saw this magical mouse. No, I and then I saw the mouse Later on this is this is how I found out the mouse was real First of all when a mouse runs you have no idea if it was a mouse, but you knew it was a mouse because they're mad fast It's just a little like I also that just goes like here

Yeah, dude when a mouse runs by my peripheral I have no sense of size I was like either that was a raccoon or a mouse, but I can't differentiate Like what it was because it was fucking gigantically small like I had no idea what it was But so this mouse would run back and forth late at night and my dad would always see him And then one night like Late into his life He ran halfway through his usual fucking, you know path And he like looked at my dad and died

Damn he wanted to get one last scare Yeah, and he looked at my dad and was like this is it man. I'm going like it's been fun And my dad was like legitimately sad that this fucking mouse died Like he terrorized him for years Just a little late night friend. I don't know what it is about old italian men and small animals It's specifically mice. They love them. They love Italian All right, let me give you guys a key into italian dads italian dads never want animals

And then the animal shows up and they're the best friends ever with the animal. They love the animal more than their own children That was my dad and the first dog our dog chase like he didn't want a dog and then we got the dog and now You know, my dad will call me And go how's the pitch because he called he calls it a pigeon. He calls my dog a pigeon My dad calls our our family dog a pigeon. So he'll call me and not say hi to me and I'm like, what's up? And he goes how's the pitch Like he's good, man. He's old. I don't know. It'd be fun if you just like put him on the phone Put him on the phone, which I don't doubt that he just let me hear him. That's what I'm saying

My dad every time he'd be like a father another fucking dog Then late night just like this with the fucking dog loving it kissing it shit I'm like, what are you talking about? Did I ever tell you? Did I ever tell you when my dad hit a raccoon with his car and he cried? No My dad was in the car. I think my sister at the time And they were driving and a raccoon ran out into the street and he hit it And he was like, whoa, and then he looked in his rear view And no and immediately he started freaking out like, oh my god

Like he hit a woman like pushing a stroller, right? And he was like, oh my god. What happened? And then my sister like looked in the rear view and she's like, it's fine Like he got up and walked away or whatever But he definitely was hurt and like he was fucked up So he got home and he was sitting at the table and I remember just seeing his back and he was a big guy So it was like watching like beasts from beauty and the beast sit at a table and weep From behind he was just like, oh He was weeping damn really

Yeah, he felt terrible that he killed this thing He's a puss though, you know, I feel like my dad's a big pussy too. Um Say something get at me Anytime you run over something in your car though It feels way bigger than it really is Like remember I told the story how I killed someone's cat Yes, like that cat it felt like I ran over a fucking antelope Yeah, very small domestic cat

Yeah, and I was like, yo like I said and I used to like you were saying you watched fight compilations I used to watch compilations of people people hitting deers I love when they hit I don't know, you know me. I watch weird shit on youtube. So yeah, I'm watching this I'm watching this fucking video of like antelopes and fucking buffalos not buffalos, uh Meese Meese moose

Just moose moose Getting hit First of all, they destroy vehicles Oh, yeah, and I love the power slide that they do when they get hit and then just Gangly get up and like yo, I'm good Yeah, they like use their like knees to get up. You're getting hit by a 2000 pound 4000 pound vehicle eating that shit fucking your car up and getting up and just being like damn sucks happen again Drive faster next time

I've always wanted to see a moose I saw a moose in colorado a moose is mad majestic They are so big Uh, it literally like we had to take a shuttle bus because we did the we were hiking in the rocky mountains And when you have to drive to a certain point and then you get on a shuttle bus And it drives you to the point where you could start to trail So on our way back

We were on that bus and I was like exhausted at this point So I was like kind of falling asleep and then my boy like woke me up That's like a joke. Oh no, he woke me up because people started saying like they saw something And the whole trip I was like I need to see a fucking moose So I like I was like what was going on with the fuck and they're like, yo I think there's a moose out there So I go over to the side of the bus dude. This thing was peeking out of the trees like a fucking dinosaur It was just like

I don't know what sound they make but you know what I'm saying like They they were he was just peeking his head and he's got these big fucking, uh, whatever the like tusks or whatever antlers antlers I was gonna say ears like why do they have to have antlers that are shaped like a big-ass cone I don't know it kind of looks like when you stretch your balls Wafer thin, you know You've stretched your balls You know balls don't they don't hurt at all ball skin is the it has zero nerves. Oh balls ball skin is teflon down

Dude, if I if I take my balls out right now, right and I put them on this table. I could literally just do this And nothing would happen. I would feel nothing I'm like you could slam it into the table like you're trying to beat you're trying to tenorize my balls And I wouldn't feel I'm taking my two thumbs right now And I'm and I'm pushing my ball sack up against the chair Just the sack I'm pushing so hard That I barely feel my fingers there Dude, I am pinching my balls right now like a vice grip and nothing's happening

If if a if a lobster got hold of my balls I would I wouldn't even know till somebody pointed out. Yeah, there's a lobster balls. Yo, there's a giant lobster hanging from your mama Oh, okay, and then I'd get them off You know, yo, even you ever see a lot. Yo, you ever see a lobsters face. Yeah It's a fucking disgusting. They're scary. Lobsters Lobsters are by far the fucking most ugly animal in the kingdom The bodies are cool like I feel like whoever created the lobster Did a really good job with the body and then forgot about the face five minutes before class and we're like, oh, shit

and they just Made these tiny little eyes and a dumb little mouth and it's like ew Have you ever watched a bug eat another bug? Yeah, dude, I love shit like yeah, and like you just see like they're part of their eye disappear and just like I I hate when people have when people when bugs have like those things Finger mouths I hate that when they're like this and they just like Inhale and it doesn't look like they're eating but then like oh my god. This thing's face is disappearing

Or you ever see uh like a spider like roll something up. Yes. That's fire. I watched this video A bunch of times it was like, uh, I like to watch animals against each other So far The deer is getting hit by cars animals against each other. What was the other one? Uh fight compilations Fight compilations. Yeah, so far as this is out of control. No, because it's like like yeah I'd be so hyped to be like tarantula versus A black widow

Okay Yeah, I that I watch. Yeah, I might I honestly might even pay the six a dollar pay-per-view for that and I was also huge into uh Watching snakes eat mice Oh, yeah, he had losers, you know, we used to feed a little baby, uh fucking mice to Keith's lizard Watching mice get eaten What a joy Just what did what a joy because they hit him every time He's like, uh, that's the venom

I the guy that watches it is doing the play-by-play and he's such a weirdo. It's like, oh, I got him. Oh, I got him It's like, oh, yes. He's seasoned up. Yep. He's going to the bathroom. He's dying. He's dying and then they just wrap it up Squeeze the fuck out of it And then they unhinge their jaw and deep throat their shit out of that thing And then it slowly just passes through their body until they take a dump Just crazy and another thing that's crazy to me about uh Snakes is that they shed their skin like imagine if we did that like obviously sunburn you could peel

But if we had to shed our skin like once every like three months And it just came off be way more gross just came off like a fucking body suit and just rolled down and it was like And you need an afternoon to get it done you're like, yo you coming I'm I can't I'm shedding I'm shedding today I can't right now I'm shedding I'm telling you I'm very afraid of Just the animal kingdom in general because like just what they're capable of Oh, yeah, but watching them feast is one of my favorite things I don't like watching things like eat zebras like when I watch lions eat zebras I'm like, damn bro. Like this is what are the covered in blood?

What are the animals that that they're fighting mechanism is to rip each other's fucking balls off? Women I Don't know what the fuck you're talking about. There's a species of animal that when they fight they For the balls So like they'll challenge them because like, yo, there's like a dude that's got all the hose And like they'll be like, yo like this guy's got mad hose. I want those hose the only way to emasculate him is to

emasculate him I'm a castrate this motherfucker and they try to eat each other's ball sacks and that's the fight Is eating each other's fucking balls Okay, so I typed in animal bites balls Into google and there's a bunch of videos And it's the first one is lion eating buffalo and wildebeest testicles alive Damn hyena hyena bites buffalo's balls and eats them alive hyena grabs buffalo by the balls

Oh, it's hyenas hyenas Wait, is it hyena? I think it is hyenas. We're like didn't chris and yannis tell us that when they were on the x-ray yard That they like that they go after balls or something This is the first search that I've ever done on my brand new computer says which animals try to eat each other's balls I think I think it's hyenas because all these videos are ball like ball of balls are hyenas They're ball eating bastards. Which animals try to eat each other's balls for dominance Yo, imagine if men had to do that

Dude, I said this on on a morning meeting, which if you're not subscribed to the patreon go subscribe every morning I've been doing a segment the morning meeting and Uh, it's just like a stream of consciousness for like 20 minutes and it's just usually it's crazy But there was this one thing Right that I was talking about and there's these animals called fossa's Right fossa. What the fuck is that? A fossa. It sounds like a dutch father, but it isn't it's an animal fossa

Come here fossa. What is it grandpa? Fossa can we go outside to play fossa? What is it grandpa? Fossa, can we go to the park? That's my fossa My fossa my fossa um, all right It's like a cross between like asian and german kind of like What are you eating over there? I'm eating

airborne Originals this isn't a plug Nice. Have you been keeping up with your immune system? Yeah, you know Good it's gang. It's all gang. Um It's all gang. Um, no, so fossa's right. They live in Madagascar great movie now the Love those movies dude. All right, so the women

They when they're trying to get plowed, right? Yeah They they go into a tree Like a a fuck tree basically, right higher So they get on top of this tree and they're like on the branch now of male Like the first one to the party will just show up climb the tree and start like dog and her shit Yeah So then while that's happening, right in the fuck tree another fossa comes along because he could smell pussy from a mile away

You know so he'll come over to the tree And he could look up and be like damn someone else is here. So like I gotta wait so Instead of just waiting and not leaving a note, you know what I'm saying? He's gotta leave a note But they can't write because they don't have thumbs or paper or pens for that matter So he goes over to the tree and he just rubs his fucking cock on the tree right

literally I'm watching the show and this fossa's Rubbing his cock on the tree and I'm and like literally like that. He's like he's got hip motion Like this guy was basically like bachata on the fucking tree, right? So he rubs his cock on the tree Rubs his cock on the tree and then he like just kind of chills like he's just waiting, you know, whatever But he left his scent so that When the other dude is done Then the female could come down and be like damn this smells like that cock smells fire

And then I assume she puts out something like mating call and then he hops in the tree and it's you know, it's game time How crazy is that every dope if like you be like, you know, that girl was so hot I'm rub my dick on her car and see what happens And that's what I was saying because I said it on the morning meeting I was like imagine you just like It's you find the like a hot girl's house and you just rub your dick on our mailbox So the next morning she's checking her mail. She's like, wait, hold on It's like, uh, like you walk by her. She was like, it's you Yeah, I knew it all along. I knew it was your dick cream

Whose dick is this? It smells amazing. I would You know, it's it is weird though if you think about it like just walking up to somebody and like rubbing your dick on a girl's butt like at a party Dancing. Oh man, I've I've rubbed my dick on so many butts So many butts and you gotta do the spin move and tuck your penis. We talked about that I would one time just get in seventh grade every time I tucked my boner I wouldn't really get super bummed by dance. Oh, I would get fucking harsh I mean, I mean, I listen, I'm not saying I wouldn't get hard

I'm just saying it wouldn't happen like every time But I needed a like a spin move or something to hide it. I just needed like a My mind was usually just like a straight like I was I mean, I was definitely like just chubbed the whole time Like I wasn't my dick wasn't like, yo, we need to get out these pants and like what's up Dude jerking off after high school dance. Awesome Yeah, just so much built up angst You're just like I knew it felt like that. I knew she felt like that Yes

Yo seventh grade one time This kid christian comes up to me and he goes He's like, yo, did you go to dance? I was like, nah And he goes, yo, I dance with uh christine And I was like nice and he goes, yo I was dancing with her and then afterwards I put my My hand in my pants And then he just and then he didn't say anything else and he just goes like this

Ew Like like sticky like he came in his pants. Oh Why would you tell me that bro? This kid's the man Yo, this kid he he dead ass was just like, yo, yeah, I was dancing with christine came my pants He but he didn't say come in my pants He's like he's like I I dance with her and then I just put my hand in my pants And then and then he stopped talking to me and then went like this Sticky icky

You know what's now it's like, hey, man, that's fucking gross. You know what grosses me out Um, I mean sometimes like Why do we look at our shit every time we wipe it We purposefully I know you have to look to see like how clean you are and stuff. I don't understand that but it's like you're Consciously wiping your ass and just going all right. That's good Well, because I mean shit is like a mood ring, you know, you you have to look at it to see You know how you're doing, you know, you look at it and you're like, it's green You're like, well, I had a lot of candy. There are people that have went to college for years to study shit

Yeah And they could that's how important it is and they could find out everything that's going on in your body through your shit Yeah, that is unbelievable to me that it's like, hey, have you ever had to give a stool sample somewhere? Me try shitting in a cup everyone out there try to shit in a cup. Let me see how good you do You missed a shit all over the side of the cup That's great See, I would probably just poop and then try to fish it out. I don't know if that's the right way to go

Oh, no, it's gonna get contaminated once it once it hits the water now you're blending. That's true Yeah, we're blending shit You gotta watch the That video where someone flushes their shit and just shit particles just go Everywhere, it's like it's like a it's like a camera like a infrared. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah an infrared camera When you when you flush your toilet your your your bathroom is essentially a volcano at that point That's erupting with fucking shit particles. It was crazy as soon as he hit the flush This shit was like scottage and just fucking blew up everywhere and I was like wow, dude

This is that's why I put my I put my toothbrush in the medicine cabinet To protect that kind of shit Yeah, even though it's probably hitting me in the face but You ever take dude also You ever drink a bunch of red wine and then take a shit in the next morning You're like is that shit or a shadow? Yeah, it's it's because it is black I would always think like oh my god, this means like I have cancer like every time

Yeah, because like you go to like the berries every time you would have dark poop you would go on webmd That's all you do and they're like yep colon cancer. I'm just like fuck And then then you're looking up ages You know what I mean? And it's just like fuck man. You're you're like well. I'm 17. That's kind of close to 60 and you're like no Like I remember like when I was having like Real bad panic attacks like all the time I couldn't have been more convinced that I had

35 heart attacks in three days So now I'm googling it and I'm just like, yo like I'm too how many heart attacks can you survive? Yeah, I'm like, yo, there's nobody that like can live through as many heart attacks as me I was like, I'm amazing and then I looked up like the ages I'm like, oh, can you be like 28 and get a heart attack? And it's like no, but There are rare conditions that you can have and I'm like fuck now. I got one of these rare conditions

Webmd should be taken off the internet Yeah, it's not it's you know, it's not beneficiary. It should it should That's it beneficiary got it It should say like You know like if you say I have a headache it shouldn't say like, you know And also a headache is a form of can't like could be cancer. It should say like It should have probabilities next to it. Yeah Webmd should be probably the probability of you having cancer from your headache is fucking astronomical. So that would make me feel better

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That man First of all, I'll say this that man is a penguin Yeah, there's a guy on 90 day fiancé Clearly he has some sort of condition With his neck. Yeah, I'd say the condition is she doesn't have one Or if it's I I'll say this right and

The first time I saw him the first thought in my mind because his chin doesn't exist really it's just part of yeah, yeah so like The first thing I thought of is like how Can he wear helmets? because you can't Strap it. No It's you can't strap never thought about what he would look like in a helmet So I'm I'm worried about his safety because you can't strap you could place it you could place it

But you'd have to be one of those cool kids that would wear a helmet with the thing unbuckled, you know what I'm saying Yeah, like a cyclist. Yeah, who's like taking it easy also I hate people that are really into cycling. I just wanted to say that before I didn't want to get too off topic Because I need to talk about this guy's neck, but I hate people that are really in the cycling like it's cool Like it's great, but like do we have to have the bike that weighs three pounds

or Less than that. Yeah, like that you could walk around you got to have the cut off gloves to I just don't understand why cyclists have to dress like they're going skiing Well, yeah, like in the olympics like you're wearing like a full Underarmor like sleek outfit and like this triangle helmet Glasses you're not going like you're not going to save anyone. You're not going to like Help the human race like you don't need to be more aerodynamic. No one gives a shit About your fucking tight ass outfit on a bike like dressed like a wrestler

Yeah, you're dressed like a wrestler and you're riding a bike that looks like a fucking greyhound Like what are you doing? I hate that shit But all right back to this guy with no neck that guy's dreaded question every day is hey look at that Has to be that's not a question. No like oh, yeah, yeah, it's not His dreaded question is hey look at that This is dreaded question. It goes I like it No, but uh

Like there's a scene that like when they're at the pool Oh, she's like and he's very he's here's the thing the guy's got some stuff like he's for sure has things Yeah, but it's the internet. The guy's got major stuff, man I mean he's got like a no neck and a short spine or whatever. He's four foot eleven so There's stuff. I just like this like she's like honey. Look at the pool and he's like I'm like, oh this guy's fucking neck like, you know, you know the because here's the thing The producers left that in there

There's no need to have these things It's no one's fault for reacting to it because guess what the producers put it in there for a fucking reason And that's why we get to see this guy fucking waddle around for an hour almost every week 90 the concept of 90 day fiance is just Whatever actually in the book that I was reading the psychopath test They do touch on television like that and they say it takes a certain like You can't like you kind of have to throw a moral code out the window

When it comes to a show like 90 day fiance because there's certain people that you're gonna cast for that show Like me and you thinking about that we're like that is a stupid idea I'm never gonna do that or be on the show or whatever, but you can take advantage of people Who you're like, oh look at this dude. He's like a little freak We're gonna put him on tv and everyone's gonna laugh at him our ratings are gonna go through the roof like that's That's that's you know now and and another thing though about the 90 day fiance is that people can't help but compare that to their own Relationships that's why those shows are so successful

What do you mean because like people are like they'll be like I don't like when you go to club and dance with dance with a man And she's like honey, it's just dancing like we're just dancing He's like no in my custom. We don't do we don't go to club and dance on people and do that to other men So it's like it just causes a Like a conversation to be like, you know, would you be mad if I dance like with somebody? Oh, okay. That's what they do. That's what those shows do. They just constantly cause a

Fucking relationship conversation it promotes discussion. It's good. It's good for the relationships What is the concept of the show? Okay, so Okay, so this is what happens. There's somebody from america They have a show where it's vice versa, but the one I watch is the ones from america They have a partner That they met somehow and they have to get this thing called the k-1 visa Which means you have to get married within 90 days to that partner So it just shows there

But what does this visa do gets you a green card Makes you yeah, but can't you but why is it 90 days? Isn't it like Well, you could do that whenever or some shit. No, no, no because the the fastest you could do it Is 90 days, but if you don't do it in 90 days, it's considered like oh, this could be fraud Like you're just saying you're gonna marry this person and a whole bunch of shit like that So whatever legal fucking tape there is, uh, i'm sure the people in the comments will know But that's what it is. So that's why they call it 90 day fiance and it just follows like their thing Like i'm watching one now

We like this dude, george and like anisa or nifa or some shit and this girl is fucking crazy Is she the american or she's from from moscow russia and she is wild she was like She's like She she leaves somewhere. She's like where'd she goes And she's and he's like, yeah, I just like went out for a second. She's like you said you come back She comes back You come back now. I'm just like, yo, this girl is fucking crazy. She slaps him on one episode And she was just like I want a $40,000 dress. She's like the big of the house people in russia will know i'm success

Wow, yeah, she just got her green card on that episode that I watched so She'd be wild So wait This is All right Say you went did they just meet or they met previously before the show so you went to the dominican republic, right? And you just found me just walking the fucking streets, right? And you're just like, yeah, and we hit it off Like we have like an amazing time

But the only way for us to be together is I have to come live with you A little problem. I'm not an american citizen So gotcha. We discussed it's like, hey, like I'll bring you here on k1 visa. Like I like you this much. Let's get married And a lot of these guys that that you'll see and the guys and the girls like some of them are just like them Like these people just like really need love like you could tell like it's fucked up Like there's this guy mohammed and this girl daniel. It's like they would never be together and it's obvious The guy just came here to get a green card Yeah, it's fucked up and then I was watching the reunion episode and he was like I can't have sex with you because you smell

This dude on national television told this woman that her pussy was stinky Yeah, dude Fucked up. Fucked up. Yeah, if you if you were in a situation, right? And it was like stinky vagina. Yeah. Yeah, would you tell them? No I think a party you has to I wouldn't I think you had to be like, hey like listen like that was cool, but like Not the only person I would tell is like

My wife if we had been married for five years already like at the fifth fifth year mark of marriage I'd be like, all right, do something about this fucking bus You would ruin a woman's like self-esteem with that Oh, it'd be a rat that would be like someone being like like if someone's helping me my dick stinks I'd just be like, yeah, probably there's smart there's smart ways around it boys So just listen so you could be like, you know, like I'm a hop in the shower. You want to like start in the shower Yeah Smart enough motherfucker or let's take a bath. I'll get a bottle of wine in here. We're getting a bath. Yeah

You know what I'm saying? Yeah Get smart with it. Don't get rude with or just like yo, let's just let's just be like children and just run through the sprinkler on the lawn Let's let yeah, let's go skinny dipping Let's go skinny dipping in the pool arena kill all that shit Chlorine will crush a stink crush a stinky puss now. You can have a great idea. I'm gonna have a pulley puss That's yeah. Yeah. Oh, well. Yeah, a pulley vagina. You have to just jump in and get it. Fuck out. Just let it marinate A pulley dick is just a mess a pulley dick is just a mess. It's wet, but it's like rough I don't I like it's like yeah, it's rough it like it's like it's like friction against your thighs

And also just smells like a like a fish tank and it's small. It's small. It smells like a brand new fish tank Yeah, like you just brought home and you kind of like the smell but you're like this isn't what my penis is supposed to smell like For some reason it itches. Yeah, and then it's all itchy weird and your penis is soaked But somehow is like a piece of loose leaf paper. I don't I don't get it. It's so dry at the same time It's a weird consistency It's very strange. I'm just blown away by all this Yeah, or you can have you can have a water balloon fight and throw one to just aim at her puss Try and clean it up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, or you could be like ha ha ha funny joke

And like throw like water on her just like oh, that's water fight like let's let's throw sponges at each other Make sure this one hits your pussy, but like let's throw sponges at each other Yeah, yeah, soapy suds now we're talking Soapy suds you ever put soap in a bowl and you just can't get the fucking soap out of there In a cup you like dude if this water doesn't Just become regular water. I'm gonna fucking freak out You know what I do? I just put the cup underneath the faucet and I just run the faucet until there's nothing in there I'm a genie. You know one time. You know what Frankie said to me

I washed my hand my hands my hand one hand. I washed my hand I washed my hook No, so I was washing my hands at his dorm And I used dish soap because I was just like whatever washing my hands and he goes Oh, yo, don't do that and I'm like why and he's like you have to use hand soap because if you use dish soap, you're gonna get a uh a sore throat It's like what I was like, what are you talking about? It's like, yeah, you know my buddy didn't have hand soap

He just used dish soap and He had he was he was getting sore throats. I was like your buddy was probably hooking up with Fucking stinky puss girl. Yeah. Yeah, it's pool puss women You know because I've been washing with fucking dish soap for ages dog. Yes, sir. It is kind of gross Uh, I didn't shower, but I went there's a private pool where I'm staying um And I went in the pool And a part of me was gonna just say that was my shower for the day. I almost convinced myself to not shower

I hit the chlorine. I hit the chlorine like whatever like I got wet. I'm clean. Yeah, I got wet It rained and then I was like, yo, dude your hair feels like You put all of poly D's hair gel in it. I was like, it's fucking just get in the shower. You sick fuck Dude, that's another thing your ball hair when you get out of a pool is just It's just fucking disgust. It's like Fucking you got ball locks and shit Yeah, it's all twisty twisty dirty

twisty dirty twisty dirty stinky very long Did you see the fucking bangs speaking to trump that woman's like, uh, why'd you call it? So wait, hold on. I'd say this whole story because I didn't tell you this but my my friend Literally videotaped his tv and was like, this is an actual real thing that happened It was a clip of this woman asking trump like why do you call it the china virus? Like isn't that like considered a little racist and then he just goes it's not He just goes it's not racist because it's from china

Because it's not racist because it's from and then he leaned into the microphone china and then it cuts back to the studio and the anchor looks right into the the lens and just goes talking about the woman just goes Fools and then continues the do's I was like god damn bro like I was actually having this conversation with my mom the other day and she was like Oh god mom joe Mom's joe

What the fuck are you talking about? Oh god mom's joe. Oh god mom joe Joe about to talk about his mom's yo No, so anyway, uh, this bitch fucked up that deal with alan wang, but we're gonna let that go for the second. All right I'm supposed to get $50 for our charge. All right, but we know we're gonna bring that up again But we're really gonna let it go. I also Tell you a story about my mom's yo But first let me know that that bitch almost be $50. Uh

Yo, the best way you're telling a story about someone who's like wrong to you this has to happen this It's like yo, I'm just saying you're like I'm I'm gonna let it go, but I'm also like so tight It's like the confronting like the confronting clap. It's like yo like Oh, shit, um No, so I was talking to my mom and she was saying like I she was like I feel like when I was growing up The news like you just got the news But now there's like teams, you know like cnn and and like whatever and like they're like against each other

Because I literally showed her the clip of the guy just going Fools, can you imagine that dude if someone called me a fool? I'd be so and I wasn't in like la and it was like a Spanish show being like, ah fool Yo, what's up? Like what's up? But if some white dude from like Long Island was just like you're a fool I'd be like, yo, what the fuck? You'll never be good for my daughter. You're a fool These words hurt my feelings

fool idiot Big dumb idiot dork Someone called you a dork. You would upset. Oh, yeah, you know dork you fucking dork Oh Oh, I just showing up like yeah, I can oh man that one actually like Imagine showing up to a house party and the guy's like you can't come in here you fucking dork Just ruined me dude

Get out of here. No one wants you here. You fucking dork. Yeah, whatever you fucking dork Arm around some girls like yeah, whatever dork. Ah, yeah, and then she goes. Yeah Oh my god, she's like Tommy It's like what is a fucking dork? What is a dork and you're on your knees looking for your glasses But then it happens again, right and then you have a flashback to when that guy called you a dork And instead of picking up your glasses you just get up and punch them Yeah, you knew the glasses was was going to happen. So you put on contacts that day. Yeah

So he slaps him off when you go i'm wearing contacts and then he takes his arm off the girl because he's like Oh, we're gonna go Yeah, he takes off his letterman jacket. Guess this dork's got a little bit of fighting him, huh? People always push talk in movies should be like what do you think? Think that you can just come to this party dork Oh, it's like billy cut it out. It's like one person in the back of the party Shut up to involve you. You're gonna kill him Yo fighting around girls is one of the most

Gut-wrenching sounds ever Stop stop I'm like, yo, shut the fuck up. Let them fight Stop yo always like no no stop guys And they know like you're crying. I'm like, yeah, shut the fuck up. You started this shit Sounds like You started this

I didn't do this. It was tommy's fault You wanted you got it nerd fucking dork Kick dirt at you Or drive off. Oh my god. I just I'm seeing a white couple power walking right now Oh, dude Yo down if they're down here if there is a fucking that's the most whitest shit

I've ever seen in my life The only thing that they could be doing that's more white is like their taxes walnut. Yeah, or like In like cross-country skiing Oh my god, what a dumb activity so white What the fuck cross-country skiing? First of all, you're not going across the country. Yeah You're just not you're going across the street. That's where you're skiing without a hill Cross-country skiing is the dumbest fucking thing of all time not one part and someone's gonna be in the comments

Be like it's actually a really good workout. Guess what? You know, it's other also a really good workout and it's normal and I made fun of it before riding a bicycle I Dude cross-country skiing is skiing without a hill. So that's like rollerblading without wheels. I just It's dumb Like go get a hill exercise activist Like it's like, yo, I got this watch because it's like specific for like this

I'm like, you know, dude, just get a normal watch bro. Just put that shit on when you go for a run. Why are you wearing it at dinner? Oh Yeah, you know what I'm saying my heart rates uh 61 right now. Can you not take your fucking blood pressure at the table like just relax It's like all my oxygen levels like 97. Uh, I don't know That's dude. You sound like a fucking hypo contract relax Yeah, speaking of uh weight stuff, uh twitter joe Oh, yeah went hard in the pain about Odell

When do you pick and choose because every once in a while you have these twitter tangents? And it's always something that like I thought like maybe you wouldn't get into that's why they're so entertaining Yeah so I honestly like for me. So like what happened was Odell lost seven stone, which I had to google. Oh, yeah Google converge Yeah, so she lost close to 100 pounds

And people were like wow, she looks great and then these other fucking people Came out of nowhere like what she always looks great. She's her body doesn't define her She also has a so many other talents and it's like, yeah, who's saying that you fucking lose her Yeah Also someone legit like this one like I wanted to you know Pick up a table and throw it out my fucking window because This I tweeted Where is it?

Literally I wanted to do that. Um, but this girl wrote to me It is wrong to assume her weight loss was something she was working towards or good and not from stress depression or any other illness So Odell Who is a celebrity and it's very well documented? Had a personal trainer. It was following a specific diet. It is wrong to assume that 100 pounds of weight loss Wasn't from stress depression and some other and some termini terminally terminal sickness

Is that what you're telling me that is the most insane thought it would actually be like that is The opposite of that would be insane, but also you lose weight and I go yo You're dying As someone who's I've lost a significant amount of weight so for me If someone came up to me it was just like oh man, you look good Or if they came up to me and we're just like, you know, dude, do you have AIDS? Like what what he like who's gonna ask a question like that? Yeah, are they assumed that you were just sick?

Yeah, just right now like oh danie's been losing weight and some people like he looks great and other people are just like I think he's dying somebody commented the other day. It was like, yo, I'm worried about you. You're looking thin. You don't look good I'm just like what are you talking about? I'm tan is ever It's 85 degrees every day here. I'm doing just fucking fine But like as somebody that's lost significant amount of weight. Why do their accolades need to be tied to their weight? They're not but it's like it's but what kind of argument is that to be like, yo, she's beautiful She has 15 grammys. I'm like, yo, like that's cool. But like, yo, she wants to like live past 45. Let her lose some fucking weight

She has kids and see it See this this is like I get so upset because this girl tweeted I'd like to clarify that Adele has accomplished many things in her career of which she should be celebrated for Her body should not be spoken about as if it's her only asset. It's cruel and unfair. All body types are valid This is not about weight. It's about commenting on a body that is not yours to share an opinion I have never ever said that wishing to be healthy is a bad thing. Please stop twisting my words And I literally just wrote back to that. I was like, no one is acting like this is the only thing that Adele has accomplished

She has 15 fucking grammys and she's one of the most beloved fucking singers In recent history. Everyone loves Adele. Yeah, she just wanted to lose some weight. What are you talking about? What's the problem? She wants to live. She lost a hundred pounds and we're supposed to be like Nope, all right. Oh, that's Adele now. Cool I'm gonna be like, yeah, it's bullshit. That's crazy Dude, if I lost a hundred pounds and everyone was just like I think you look just as good as you did before. I'd be like, well, then fuck. Why did I lose the weight? It's also like listen

Another like you said about like health Maybe she does have something health wise like when I got diabetes. I had to lose weight Like maybe she just wasn't healthy. I just needed to lose weight And that's what it's like obviously Health doesn't always equal weight, but at the same time if you are Like visibly overweight, you're not healthy. Yeah Like that's just how that works if you are visibly Like obese you that's not genetics

At that point. Yeah, it's just not like scientifically that is not the case Like and I don't talk and that's nothing Yeah, but you could also lose weight. Yeah, of course and put yourself in a better position. Some people. Yes, they have Conditions or they have whatever I just had to throw that out there for the thyroid boys. No, I'm saying dude I was I literally was just gonna say that because for the for the people who are like, well, I have a what about people with thyroid conditions Well, that's not even close to being the majority of the people that I'm talking about Like obviously not that's not who I fucking mean

I don't mean like I don't care if you have some disease like just fight through it. Keep running like obviously I'm not saying that I'm saying The people who are like, oh, you know, my family is in our genetics and you know, whatever or or There's just a routine Or like are you just gonna give up at that point too? Like no, I feel you're saying it's hard to say all that on twitter though I know and it's just it drives me crazy because listen. I am 100 against fat-shaming 100% I thought you're gonna say 100% against fat people. I was gonna be like, I am 100% against fat people No, I'm 100% against fat-shaming because I think it has the opposite effect like I

Want people to be healthy and to be health conscious and just to think about it and whatever blah blah blah But at the end of the day, whatever you want to do with your body, that's your business You do that. I can't tell you what to do and I don't I almost respect you being like I understand but I'm still gonna fucking eat whatever the fuck I want and not exercise Live your life do what you gotta do. I have no problem with that. I have a giant problem with people who are unhealthy and hanging on to these like Oh, no weight doesn't equal Uh health and it's like, yeah, but you're unhealthy. Yes, and your weight is hot

And like that is true for people who are putting in the work eating healthy and have some condition or whatever But that's not the majority and that's not you who's who's saying that to me, you know, like no No, but it's like it's just like look how fit that fucking fit I am now It just it drives me crazy dude Like I I've seen people who are 300 pounds lose weight and become 180 pounds And that's another thing that I hate is that It's it's it contradicts itself when people are like, oh

Everyone's beautiful body positivity like this and that when someone's overweight and then when they lose the weight And they're like down to like, you know 180 pounds or something Then people turn on them and go oh, you're too skinny now or you don't look as good now Or your face is sunken in and you know, whatever what happened to all his body positivity now And it's like once someone who is overweight decides, you know, what I'm gonna I'm gonna start losing weight and I'm gonna be more proactive I'm gonna exercise and eat better and they start losing weight because that's what happens when you do those things Then those people turn on them and they go Oh, they they fell to the societal norms and they felt the pressure from

Strangers and they're trying to impress everyone and not living to their true self and it's like that is such bullshit Like that bothers me so much. I've had people say that to me like DM me. It's like, you know, like Don't let people you don't have to lose weight dude. You're beautiful the way you are. It's like, bro I want to lose weight. I want to look better. I want to whatever and like everyone can can pretend that Like they don't care about how people view them or whatever At the end of the day and I could argue this until I'm blue in the face Everything that we do In some way

We seek validation from others for those acts no matter what in some way All of it And I've had a conversation with someone where they're like, no, you know, I don't really and I'm like, yes, you do like you And you should like people who are like, you know, I don't care what people think like why that is that is completely like insane to me Like you have to care what certain people think not the whole world But certain people like certain people are going to look at you and it's like you don't care about your health And you're just lazy with it. You're like, well, I'm not gonna, you know, do this

I'm just gonna fucking I'll eat fast food and I'll just blah blah blah and I'll just get huge and it's like You don't care about the people that you respect having an opinion of you like To me, that's crazy. How can you be a person and not care about other people's view of you? Well, I think that's it's it's easy to say that to get out of certain things And that's what I mean people use those little sayings I was like copouts of being like oh whatever and I saw this one tweet that had 16,000 retweets and it said Skinny people love when fat skinny people really love when fat people lose weight like chill out What

I just like that to me is crazy Yeah, that's like saying like oh man, uh healthy people really love when sick people, uh get healthy and it's like because In in this country though fit people and unfit people they've joined like they've made their own clubs It is very divisive because there are the other people who are like you have to do this You have to do that like blah blah blah like and I'm not one of those people I'm not saying everyone has to exercise or eat a certain way or that they should be healthy If you don't have to do anything you don't want to do

I'm saying you can't pretend like you're not like you are healthy Or that you know, it doesn't matter or like every body type is valid like yes I agree with that but being but loving yourself and thinking you're beautiful is totally different than Like a doctor coming to you and saying you have type 2 diabetes might want to lose some weight No, but like I think but this is the difference right these these are separate thoughts like I think like I love myself right And and like I physically love myself and I'm comfortable in my own skin and like all that shit But at the same time I my body isn't what I want it to look like so I work towards that You know like those are separate things. Yeah, well your body's your body's gross

I could love I could love myself but still want to progress and make myself look better Like those are separate things But people want to make them the same thing of being like oh, she's losing weight because she doesn't love herself It's like that's not she's losing weight because she loves herself And she wants to like be healthy and and put herself in a better position to live a longer life Like I don't see how people are connecting those two thoughts. That's insane to me. I think uh Average joes remember the in dodgeball Yes, he's like hey, it's like hey if you just like, you know, you love yourself

But you just want to get a little healthier like come to average joes Yeah, and that's all anyone's doing like A person who just eats like shit And just walks around and like whatever And and doesn't exercise or whatever like you can't say like oh, yeah, it's genetics. It's like you have never been proactive about it Like are you like I don't just when have you seen someone who's Five five three hundred pounds and in just in incredible shape

No, I was just doesn't happen like that. I was five nine pushing three But I could do some like physical feet. So like I straddled the line Well, that was the thing you were athletic and like whatever but You're not it would be like you saying um Like you being like every body type is is beautiful like whatever like yeah, of course in the very general sense But in in the context of this conversation that is irrelevant

It has nothing to do with the conversation the conversation is are you healthy? No? No, you're not because even you used to say like it was drinking all the time I was having dominoes at like 3 a.m. And shit and it's like This like that behavior is going to result in a in a weight gain. Well, you're killing yourself at that point as well Yeah, and we all go through bouts of that I mean, I've gone six months without working out and it's fucking awesome It's great You put up but you put on weight and I'm realistic with myself of being like I don't feel healthy right now

Like when people are like, oh, you don't need to lose weight. You're you're you're fine People like you don't need to lose weight like you look great. It's like yeah, but I'm not healthy Because of the way that I was eating and blah blah blah, but people who are just like Obviously visibly unhealthy Want to have this argument of being like just love yourself and it's like yo, that's why I'm losing weight because I love myself like But they don't get that It's just I don't know that that whole thing. It just drives me crazy and and like that topic specifically I just feel so strongly about especially because I did that mukbang video and on youtube

There's videos of people and it's I honestly can't watch it like it makes me upset like there's people who eat like 30 Cheeseburgers and they cover it in like cheese like extra like queso cheese And they just like scarf it down and they're talking like oh, it's so good And then two days later they do Wendy's and it's like a thousand nuggets and like whatever and I'm like You know this person's killing themselves in front of the world for money and everyone's just watching Yeah, and it's like it's it's barbaric to me. It's like it's insane No, I felt though like even when like like you were saying like I was drinking all the time eating dominoes like You're killing yourself with that shit. That's just what it is

and I had to lose the weight because Listen, I love myself regardless, but like You can't love yourself in your situations like that A lot of people stress eat a lot of people eat because they're depressed A lot of people find that as a coping mechanism, which I 100 had My coping mechanism was to eat food and drink. That's what I would do because it would make me feel good And then I was like 286 pounds or some shit and I was like, yo All this comforting I've been doing is fucking killing me. I was like, yeah, I'm gonna die

If I keep doing this I gave myself a disease Like you know what I'm saying Like and the other thing like with Adele like you don't know what her doctor told her Maybe her doctor did tell her something Yeah, like, yo, you gotta your levels are really high. You need to And then she's getting shit for being like getting healthier Oh, you didn't have to do that just to impress a bunch of people No, I had to do that because my fucking cholesterol. Yeah, she has a kid too

It's like listen like your kid like your kid will like whatever Be well off for the rest of its life, but like you want to be around for your kid's life Who knows? Yeah, and she smokes cigarettes too Adele Adele smoked mad cigarettes All the Brits do all the Brits do so like there could be something there. You don't know it's like, you know Even if it was an illness you're working towards it This girl has I looked it up. She has a physical trainer Yeah, a physical trainer Yeah, I mean to me it's just like like I said on both sides

I also don't agree with the people who are like these go-hards with exercise and they force their views on everyone Like they're no different than Jehovah witnesses that are going around knocking on doors like Telling people what they should do with their beliefs like that should never happen like What do you mean though things that are like Exercise people being like everyone needs to exercise. You have to do this. You have to do that It's like no you could spread the Information and be like, you know what it's important that you exercise a certain amount every single week. You would be in a better

space Mentally and you know your health would be in a better like whatever go for walks if you don't want to run if you want to do this blah blah blah For me personally I can just I can see the benefits of it of just like the days that I work out I feel so much better I think that everyone would benefit from that and I want to share that feeling with people but at No point am I going to say that it is you have to do that because people can live however the fuck they want Do do what you want, but take the information

And just have it So if you know if you're not doing it then like you're not living to your true potential like even now I've been exercising more that doesn't mean that I've been doing the necessary Like I haven't been dieting exactly how I should supposed to and like I know certain days was like Oh, you weren't healthy today or this and that but some people are just like i'm healthy I don't need to walk. I just I love my body and like whatever it's like, you know You could love your body and that's not what I'm talking about. I'm not talking about body positivity I'm talking about just being healthy dog

As my doc as my endocrinologist would say men lie women lie blood tests don't Blood tests don't I love that but yeah, uh, so fart pussy ass crack Um, yes and uh Vagina that's correct Yes, and deer's getting hit and deer's getting hit by all right. I think yeah, you guys laughing again. All right, cool All right, all right Why did you ask me that ball thing before by the way where you like do you move your phone from your balls?

Oh, oh no, because I saw a study like that if like Would 5g or some shit? Mm-hmm like kills your balls. Yeah, like kills your balls Everything can I there was that study that mountain dew killed your balls? Yeah, I purposely didn't drink a mountain dew Well, I don't drink soda But I purposely didn't drink a mountain dew that was in the fridge because I was like this bad for my balls Mountain dew also is just insane. Yeah, that should'll fuck your balls It'll also fuck your teeth. Yeah, they

They have mountain dew mouth is like a legitimate thing where people's teeth are just rotting out of their faces because of How much mountain dew they're drinking I had to drink a two later mountain day I had this one chili set my mouth on fire How'd I drink a two later mountain day two later mountain day? That's the best video ever. Yo, what's up? Are you throwing this thirst trap up the other day? What? You threw this fucking thirst trap up I threw a thirst trap up. Yes, you know, Joe stop on my page

Right here queens is the caption. That's a thirst. Oh, yeah. There's no there's no there's no context I see the queens on your thing there, but it's like it's a quick cop out. Look at this fucking guy You see my comment I just I just commented. I just wrote you fuck Yeah, I did see that actually love it No, I just got a bunch of stuff from this uh this company Um belief they're like an Astoria brand And they make mad good like cool shit like I have a whole box

And I like know the dudes who own the store So I wanted to to wear it and kind of give them like a a little rough little rubby a little Little rub, but they make really cool shit man. Like I was in their store and I'm like I'm like looking all their stuff and it's like I'm like trying to take Like it's like motivation in a way of being like how can I make my shit better, you know, because they have really cool stuff Um, but yeah, I think we should wrap this up. Oh, yeah, it's a little longer. So yeah, we've been recording for a while Cuz for a while. I have to take a fucking poo. Yo, most of our shows revolve around us having the shit

Yeah, you usually have to shit in the middle or immediately after yeah Actually, I shit last time but after I stuck through the ads today Sometimes I get up and do like some squats people were just like We're laughing because I got up and did like air squats um But sometimes I have to pee pee or poo poo during the ads, but I felt good today felt good Nice. Yeah, good for you. Uh, you can find me at Daniel priority on twitter and instagram Please go make sure to check out the stank podcast with me and mr. Frank alvarez every friday

7 a.m. On youtube and on apple podcast and check out our patreon The stanktron patreon.com slash the stank podcast. We're putting a new video up there every week We've fixed a lot of our it's yes And uh, we're uh getting ready to put out a whole bunch of content. So that's there and if you don't I don't care about your existence All right, well, you can uh go check out the videos I've been putting out on tuesdays youtube.com slash joe santa gato And uh, go follow the basement yard on instagram at the basement yard Yes, and the patreon patreon.com slash the basement yard you get a morning meeting video every morning most mornings and uh, yeah, that is all See you guys next time