The Basement Yard - #244 - Getting Boners With The Boys

Episode Date: June 1, 2020

On this episode, Danny talks about a strange game he use to play, catching significant others masturbating and more! Enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Guys go check out our patreon where you can get our daily morning show and next week's episode today Welcome back to the base me yard. How's everyone doing Danny? How's it going, bud? What's going on? I like the little sign you have in the background there. It's very Miami. Yes. Yes. It's very Miami. I have a palm tree here I have a little teal light. I could change colors too. Look at this. Look at this. Oh, you want to get pink? Oh now it's pink. I can't really see but I'm sure I know you can see yeah, yeah, yeah, you'll see it on video I like teal though. Wait, where'd you get a palm tree? Selena had it she just had a palm tree. Yeah, she made the sign She made the sign too

Damn, she hooked you up. She hooked me up. So she's palm trees dope. Yeah, it's fire. Yeah, I like it You like my shirt? I do kind of goes who like what I got going on It's very like cotton candy like a hippie cotton candy flavor or something. You know what I'm saying Why have we not made any basement yard tie dye merch? I don't know, but that's definitely got to come in the summer You know what I mean like this color right now like I feel like I like I look delicious like I look like a sweet treat That's what I'm saying I will say that I did design basement yard tie dye merch at one point and Joe was like maybe I think the maybe should be a

yes now Well, yeah, the tie dye wasn't the problem to the prop that wasn't there wasn't really a problem. It was just like a you know, I Mean there's I There's ideas for merch all the time. I mean it was no I I Just fucking rain drip though. I rain drip or you drip rain Or can you drip drip? Yeah, of course. I'm drip drip drip dripping right now. I got a public's hat on public's fire

Yeah, dude, you're one of the only people I know that has supermarket merch. Yeah Like how much is that hat? It was $30. No, it's like 15 bucks. Is that a trucker? No, no, no, it's just a regular hat. Nice. Yeah, it's like it's like a dad hat I offered a guy in the store for his hat that worked there $100 Why the fuck did you want a public's hat that bad because I wanted an authentic workers hat? I was gonna wash it. He's an old man named Richard and I was like, hey Richard. What's going on man? He was like, how's it going? And I was just like, hey, how much for your hat? He was like, excuse me and I was like, I'll give you $100 right now Richard for your fucking hat

And he was just like, I can't do it. I'm sorry. And I was like 250, but I wasn't gonna give him 250 I wasn't gonna give him 250. You were gonna give him 100 Yeah, but at some point I was like, I want to see if I could break this old man into selling out. Nice You wanted to know how much of a whore he was. Oh, yeah, I wanted to see how much of a whore for the money He was. Yeah, I want to see him grovel. Is it grovel or grovel? I don't know what you're even saying to be a gravel is some sort of rocks No, but like you never heard like I'm this person. I'm groveling. He's groveling. I know I've never I've never groveled Am I ever in my whole life?

Grovel is a word. Grovel is a word. I don't know. It might be a Pokemon No, that's Geodude. That's Geodude, which is kind of a fire. Oh, no, Graveler. That's his name What about a diglet? Yeah, diglet was just a brown penis looking thing man. They you know, they didn't really try too hard with that And what about what's the other guy? Magic carp. Magic carp was fire, dude. Why it's just a fish No, it was cool because I never understood how they fought, you know I mean because they fought on land, right? And if they're fighting on land, how the fuck am I supposed to use a magic

Karp? Why can't I throw that bitch in water probably be way more effective? You just flopped around like a fucking dead bitch. Yeah, honestly It's kind of fucked up how these Asian people just put a fish out of water and like it was it's actually kind of barbaric Like you'd be fighting someone when they throw out a magic carp and they should just flop it on the ground You're like this is kind of sad, dude. First of all, why would you expect this thing to win? Yeah, like how's it fighting like that's like me fighting in a like inside like underwater I'm supposed to fight a shark. I can't even move You're just gonna grovel around

It's not the right way to use that. Yes, it is. I think I'm look it up. Look it up. You son of a bitch. How do you spell it? Grovel lie or crawl on the ground with one's face downward Yeah, groveling you groveling bitch. Well, whatever you were trying to do with this old man. This is not it No, no, no, no, no, I'll use it in a sentence When I'm in trouble I grovel to Joe's feet How's that how's that? No, all right, so so listen listen, this is a week this listen this is a week I also want to do approach this on show. This is a week after The circumcision episode. Oh, yeah, we got it. We got yes. We got to get back into that

So it's a week after the circumcision episode. I just have a like a small list of demands and it's very small Okay One you have to be there. We already went over that. Oh, well, I wouldn't miss it for the world, baby. Okay? You have to be in attendance Any aftercare you have to pay for What would that mean? Listen, you're a very you're a very tough guy to take care of because no you go for a jog And then you need to get like cryotherapy and like I'm not doing that

No, no, no, I don't need anything like that. But like say like say like I Need like over-the-counter drugs. I'll buy them but you reimburse Oh, yeah, I mean, I'll yeah, you need Advil you need Tylenol. I'm your guy and any follow-up consultations come out of your pocket Of course. All right, cool. Okay The other the other demand that I have is that if I cut my dick For the great for the greater good My slate needs to be wiped completely clean. Oh, dude

It's gonna be squeaky clean like a whistle clean as a whistle. You know what I'm saying. It needs to be Completely clean. Yeah I've never been late in my life. I already forgot what you're talking about See, that's all I'm saying because you know, if you're ever gonna question I'm not saying you but I'm just saying if anyone's ever gonna question my commitment to the show I dare you to get a piece of your fucking cock cut off For the show. Yeah, okay, and then probably a month of healing which means a month of no ejaculate probably Okay, we know that's not gonna last. Oh, yeah, I'm busting out the same stock

I'm pretty sure Danny could like jerk off without getting hard. He's like, I just need to let this go Yeah, I'll fucking like avatar that shit. Yeah, dude, you can meditate yourself to a climb 100% I think people do that like I think that's like a thing like with sex like people can like just think about Climaxing and then it just like happens and they're like outside One thing I used to be able to do very well is get like I get boners on command On like no warm-up because you know how like Dix just like they're like, you know, it's like like a butterfly You know, there's like, you know the caterpillar and then the cocoon and then a butterfly You went straight from caterpillar to butterfly

We had a thing in high school where after lunch every once in a while people would be like, you know To try to see if you can get a boner. Wait, I'm gonna stop you there What the fuck are you talking about you and your boys would be at lunch and being like yo after this rectangle pizza We're gonna go in the hallway get in a circle and try to get hard No, what would happen is we would try to do it at the lunch table in the most inconvenient place So you would just have to get into the zone where you can get a boner I was undefeated champion. No one was touching me I was out and literally no one was touching me just from my mind. I could get a boner on command

I could you know like that movie it would Kevin Costner where he blocks out all the sound when he's pitching. Yeah That's what I would do. I would block out the sound that I could get this boner on command So wait when you guys would face off It would be one-on-one or be every man for themselves You would have to sit across the table from the other person and one-on-one face off So what would you do you would just like you stand up like oh, I won I hope I'm hard Well, yeah, basically you have to show like the bump in your pants that it was like a real boner Wait bump. Are we talking chub? Are we talking fucking?

You know bold boner Bold boner, I would say I never went full rocket Like but I would get enough to show through my pants and then that's it time What if what if you wore jeans because that's a very tough, you know bolts to show We also took the pulse test like if you could see it move I know how you can like pump your date. Yeah. Yeah. Can I I just want to say something before I move forward This is gay Oh

Let's just get that out of the way the people in high school Heteroman in high school were the gayest men in high school Dude you guys would get you guys would have boner Like boner offs boner fights dude. We used to blow the gay kids out of the water. I mean You guys We Didn't blow the gay kids. I'm just saying figuratively we blew them out of the water Yeah, I'm trying to understand how this started whose idea it was and like if you had this name for yourself

Where like someone would knew would come along and be like, yo I want to play and like he beat like three people and I'm like, oh dude, but you're never gonna beat Danny Basically, you know how like Ash would walk around and he would find like a new like Jim pokey Jim guy Yeah, it's started with Brock and Onyx, right and you thought like oh man, there's no way you could get harder than this Yeah, I was mute to in that fucking hidden chamber like you just heard about it. Yeah, you're like seeing it You're a legendary bird. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did you guys have a hot list? Like did you ever find a girl's hot list that you guys I? Feel like I have But I don't know off the top of my head like I can't remember

You know what it is, but I do remember being like I need to get hold this lit Like I feel like that existed in everyone's school There was like a list of like here's the hot boys in no particular order Tyler Fuck it. You know I'm saying and we used to think it was gay Like oh, that's gay. Oh a list ill then guys would make their own list, but it'd be like who has the fattest fucking ass I Don't think we ever had that but you know we did have do you remember this shit? Everyone girl come up to you dude girls used to come up to kids and like middle school and be like I'm gonna tell your future and then have this fucking paper

Machete thing and be like oh you're gonna have a dog and I'm like what the fuck what is the fuck is this? It's gonna tell my future You're everyone girls that liked you would come up and like talk to you and it would be so fucking awkward And then they'd be like runaway laughing. Well, what's that? I mean, I think that was just flirting back in the day man. I think I Used to do that too. I mean in sixth grade. I dated a girl for like nine months and all we did was hug That's fire though. Yeah, we'd be fire now. I mean, I'm a good hugger. Don't get me wrong But I don't think you know I satisfied her. Thanks. Yeah, but you don't hug a lot

Yeah, I think she wanted more though. We're gonna go we're gonna go there on this episode I want to thank everybody somebody brought to my attention that like last week or the week before with my 100th consecutive episode of basement yard Which is pretty cool. So I want to thank everybody for that dude first of all That's a lot Yeah, dude a hundred weeks of Danny. I don't know how you haven't been in the same as I is that true. I don't think that's true Yeah, dude, I Don't know I feel like you hopped on like 150 and we're not like quite there, but we're close. Am I crazy?

Let me see. Maybe that you know what maybe we're wrong because we did start filming We were recording episodes before we started filming for numbers. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah But whatever I've been here a long time. Yeah, and I'm gayer than ever But here's here here's the thing here's the thing yeah, like people people will say like oh I see people on like on our social handles all the time and they'll be like oh, man I wish somebody loved me as much as Danny loves Joe. Yeah People out there have to understand Joe loves me very much But Joe has to deal with me on a daily basis, so there's things there

There's things there that you know, it's like it's like It's it I'm not gonna say I love hate there's no hate there But the funny thing is is that the post was people thought that it was a me leaving the show post. Oh Oh Like a majority grateful for the opportunity hundred episodes. See you later. Yeah, and I'm out piece But you did like it you did comment on it. I did did you feel pressure or did you feel genuine? I felt I felt baited. I felt baited, but I knew it, but I do I do tend to comment on when you go heartfelt. I Do I do I'm an emotional guy

Yeah, you are yeah, you're like a big like water balloon just ready to burst All at all times baby at all times and apparently that you know more than just tears also You know come, you know, you're over here ready to burst at any moment at the lunch table with your boys. I'm a sexual Powerhouse I just think you have a lot of fluid in you that you want to get out You know and it makes sense that you got diabetes because you have to get that even that little bit of blood out too You just want to get all this stuff out of your body, you know, you gotta check your blood I drank a mango fucking 7-eleven juice last night. I got it post made it didn't go I have oh I have another story for you by the way

mango Didn't really read it. I thought it had one serving. I had three servings 60 grams of sugar Wait, I tell three servings in a drink Three servings in the drink with 60 grams total or 60 grams in each serving. No 60 grams total Okay, I was but have and then I googled what a gram of sugar looks like Have you ever seen what 60 grams of sugar looks like like a like a Tony Montana mountain of cocaine and it just got Baselined into my dickhole

That shit was I was so fucked up after that I just pounded water I was just kept pounding water pounding water. It's like I need to get the sugar out So I kept peeing it out. Yeah when you're diabetic you can have sweet pee You drank your pee. No, I didn't drink my pee, but you could tell by the smell. So it smelled nice It smelled like mangoes candy candy piss. Yeah. Oh my god. I need to smell this piss Which was which is kind of dope, but then the part of me is like, okay I'm dying so like let's drink a lot of water and get this pee pee back to be in regular piss pass. Yeah Oh, yeah boys on fire, you know, you never commented on my tattoo by the way

What I got a new tattoo Well, I've had it another one. No, no, no, no, no the 808s and heart breaks that we had a whole conversation about it Danny. Oh, did we? Yeah, dude. I Said this on the morning meeting the other day. I have no sense of time days life I Did a like an Instagram live like I poached it on my my IGTV it was from April 11th. It feels like it was seven years ago

Yeah, dude, you texted me a picture of it two pictures of it and then we had a conversation like oh, yeah It's the heart from 808s and then we started talking about Kanye albums What is wrong with me you're a fucking idiot dude a dork Tied I merch coming soon coming Yeah See that's the thing that's the thing. I feel like Every time I have a great merch idea You go

Maybe and then it when it's time to go guy does it on his own. I get no creds The merch craze isn't merch No, no, no when we make it When we make it. Yeah, why can't I be like the Virgil Ablo the fucking Santa Gato store? Why can't I do that if you see? You going we should make tie-dye stuff is not make I'll make mocks and send them to you I have mocks on that computer of the entire thing and their fires hell and their tie-dye joggers, too People give the people what they want, bro

Dude, I'm not saying no. Oh, oh At no point did I say that I'm sorry I came in hot today because I had too much sugar Holy shit, yo like four birds flew like at my window and then just like that was insane. I'm sorry You ever see an animal and just be like, yeah I just had a real spiritual connection with this fucking animal not a domestic animal. Yo, I'm gonna tell you something That's mad weird Okay, bro when I'm walking on the street and I see an animal, right? I see a squirrel

I see someone walking their dog or whatever and I make eye contact and The and they just like stare at me for a second I think I'm like a patron saint of animals and I could speak to it and I'm just looking at it And I'm like if this this animal would be like freaking out if it was anyone else But because it's me they know it's me. They're just chill and they're just staring at me. Am I fucking crazy or what? Yes You know, isn't it you know like when your dog dreams, right? Yeah, are they are they dreaming of us? I don't know my dog like runs and he cries in his dream like like I always wonder like if he has it like

Like Charlie, right? For example, like if he's crying in his dream, like I've thought about like, yo Maybe he's dreaming that like I'm beating a shit up. I Mean, I think he'd wake up and then kind of like run away from you if anything now like my dog when I wake him up He's usually like he gets closer like I feel like he has dreams of him getting like, you know Like he has flashbacks because you know, I used to take him to a dog park in Long Island City And he would get like basically gangbanged by you know dogs from the front and the back at the same time Like two dogs tried to Eiffel Tower my dog in the dog park once and I don't know what to do in that situation Cuz I'm like I want to hit this German shepherd, right?

And there's a little pug in the back trying to get some BH action But I can't so I have to kind of like pull them off But I feel we're pulling people's dogs But all I know is that my dog looks like a bitch getting Eiffel Towered in the middle of the fucking park You can't come back from I wouldn't go back to that park for months. I do right I would not leave his side that day. I'm like, you know, no dog is fucking my dog Like I was like I was mad pissed. You know when your dog like, you know, it's common courtesy We go to the dog park and your dog starts trying to fuck mine. You pull your dog off. Otherwise, I'm gonna throw

Yes, don't let don't let my dog Get fucked. Yeah Especially because my dog's a male dog Yeah, but male dog. Can dogs be gay? I think so. I think there could be gay dogs. I Think a dog could be a gay man I'm gonna Google. Can there be lesbian dogs? Can dogs be lesbian? Let's Google that short answer Yes, and no

The the the ye olde debate of gay dogs This is from a oh wow weird picture, man Is it two dogs cats or dogs scissoring? It's too. No, Jesus. No, they're not gonna go that crazy It's just two dogs with their snouts like very close to each other Well, that's just two dogs smelling Yeah, but they're close. I Think a dog could be homo sex I

Can't a dog be homo sex it says dogs can't really be gay simply because dogs don't have a sexual orientation the way humans do They can fuck out of here. I thought could be gay. No No, they can exhibit like, you know gayness You know kind of like, you know, they could be susceptible to being like I you know getting bangs not the worst thing in the world, okay, but they also would be down to bang So I think that like they straddle the line They can yeah, it's more blurred for dogs because you know, they they have it in their mind They're more animalistic in the sense of like I need to procreate so I'm gonna bang

You know, mmm, but then other dogs, you know, but I don't know Depends. It's a more of a spectrum with dogs. We have a lot of societal You know things on ours, so it's different. I don't know. Am I making sense? Yeah, some Let me let me ask you this. Yeah. Yeah You and Charlie are going for a late-night walk, right? Yeah, and there's just this fucking labradoodle piece of ass Stroll in the street by itself a straight

Female labradoodle. No, I'd have the collar on but it's just lost at the moment. Okay, and Charlie lays eyes on this thing This bitch. Yeah. Yeah, technically a bitch. I can call it a bitch. It's true Lays his eyes on this fucking hot Fucking labradoodle bitch. It's got a puffy tail puffy tail puffy tail. Yeah fucking ready. She's a fucking heat, too Yeah, oh, she's in heat and she's in so he probably smelled her before we left the house 100% and Charlie is the chosen one even if he doesn't have balls He's like, you know, I'm gonna get up one time and I'm a fuck fuck this. Yeah. Do you let him fuck that dog? I

Mean he would have to we would have to have a separate conversation me and him because you know What am I gonna do? I'm gonna have to like I don't want to be there and like watch I got to like walk around the block. So he's got to be a good boy and like not run away You wouldn't watch Mad You got to watch him feast. I mean my boy is like I can't He's a handsome boy. I'll watch from a distance. I can't just stay next to him though No, you could you could turn your head away and just let him have sex. Are you letting him fuck this dog?

What the fuck is going on you would if my dog I Can't the real answer is no, I don't trust a stray. What do you think he's gonna get dog aides? Yeah, and like fleas and shit, and then I'm gonna get itchy like I can't have that also. He doesn't have balls Do dogs get sexually transmitted diseases? I Don't know Google it up. I'm Google it. I don't think dogs have stds do dogs Have they got to have some kind of like dog clap they call it the bark. Oh

Yeah, they do really whoa He'll there's a question. You know how like you type a question into Google and says people also ask and says can you get chlamydia from a dog? Dude what the fuck is going on that's the top one also That's insane that people have Googled that yeah, because that means people got chlamydia and we're like It couldn't have been her it could be maybe it's the dog and then Google that but the most common sexually transmitted disease among animals today is Bruce so Bruce Willis no it's

Bruce Springsteen Bruce lolis boost something like that. It's Bruce. Well, it's kind of like Bruce Willis They get Bruce Willis Yeah, so and they get like a fever or something. Do they die hard from it or they live? Uh, I think they live. I think they live. They don't die hard That was good. I like that See dogs can be out here. So now that I wouldn't let charlie have sex because he could catch Bruce Willis No, you know one of the my other dog chase like he has this uh dog bed that we got him and instead of sleeping in it

He like folds it and bangs it I'm serious So we have to hide it because otherwise he would just all day Every time I see chase I just want to put like a little groucho mark cigar in his mouth or let him just walk around the front yard Yeah, he's he oh, he's getting old as hell like this last year. He just got old Like he was always in like that's sad. It is. It's sad. I mean he just like the last year He's just gotten really old like he he doesn't move as well as he used to and You know peas non-stop. Yeah, he's pissing. He's just like old grouchy man now

He's still got some movement to him, but he used to be he used to be a lot better He's got all these like little growths. You know, like old people just like start growing shit start getting lumpy Yeah, they just like start looking like a pickle like he looks like a pickle You know and he he lost some color in his fur like he's getting old so I don't know that fucking dog bed keeps him young though. I'll say that that's what I'm saying at least he's still got enough heart in the Fuck Yeah, dude. Like he he's always breathing heavy, but he'll waste his breath on that

imagine like I think we may have talked about this But imagine like if we hump like at the frequency that like animals do like if me and you were just walking down the street I just smelled like something just started humping the shit out of it What is that about It's animalistic. It's it's in them to just is it dominating I think they're like marking a territory or something because like my dog Especially chase like not so much charlie, but charlie also does it

Where like when they're in a new environment, they just got a piss on it Yeah, like I redid the entire basement at my mom's house. We got this carpet in we Like created this whole new space in the back room all this stuff chase comes down and man It was like oh nice new stuff pissed all over it God damn it. Yeah, three different spots just pissed on it and he hasn't done it since you know, but he doesn't hold his chase now like 12 It's old age. It's good age one more year What's that then that's my uh, I lost my virginity

Lee thought I was gonna know what you were talking about when you said that no no no no no no I I want to get off this topic because dog's getting old makes me so fucking sad. Yeah, it's sad You know and then Even worse than that. I hate old people like old I don't hate old people old people just make me sad Like when I see old people just like sitting on a bench somewhere I'm just like damn man like The fuck are you doing out here and old people have seen some shit? Yeah, dude. They've seen like

wars TV Yeah, like the first tv and now there's like iPhones and they know how to use it and they're like lost and I'm like How the fuck you lost there's a gps, but they don't know how to Use a phone you ever see how big an old person's text is on their phone Oh my god, dude one time at a Yankee game the person in front of me was checking emails. I'm like dude There's like you could see Just the first name

And it's like how do you how blind are you and there weren't even that old they were like maybe 50 60 Their text is just fucking I'm not even meaning to look do you think your eyes are ever gonna go My eyes are shit. I know they're shit, but like you think I like I've noticed because I got new glasses that my eyes Have gotten worse Like in the last year and a half. What's your prescription? Uh, minus four oh five in my left and then a minus four 25 in my right and I have the stigmatism in both eyes My shit

are fucked The fuck's out there fucking Vin diesel. Yeah, I think so dude. Oh my god. Oh my god. I forgot but the other day I was on a bike ride and We stopped at this brewery to like get a beer And then we're standing outside having this beer and like 30 muscle cars come flying down the block I'm not even kidding rev their engines and we're speeding 60 feet

And dude I look at the and it's a woman with a tattoo Of an american flag that's bleeding and where the stars are it's just a skull with a bandana on What a fucking patriot and she's just got one hand on the wheel And the fucking engine just uh It's crazy and I'm like what and there was just a group of people like like no no life 20 cars All revving their engines and some woman who looked like she was drunk She was sitting on a suit and she goes you're all stupid and annoying

And I was like yo lady keep it down for this fucking lady get down to kick the shit out of you Okay, before she goes America all over your ass. Seriously. She's gonna fuck your shit up It's hard because I was down here and I saw a guy on a motorcycle And he had a fucking parrot on his shoulder What? Yes It was posted to my instagram story. I think I still have the video. It was a guy on a motorcycle A Harley and he had a real live parrot on his fucking shoulder

And what happened when he drove away the bird just chilled or it flew next to him If this if this bird flew next to I'm gonna lose my mind like that's no no no no the bird chilled there I don't know how the bird and wind resistance work, but the fucking bird became aerodynamic and stayed with this man And I was like yo, this is the coolest thing I ever seen in my life drives off confed confederate flag on the vest I was just like that's cool. And then oh Yeah, I was like damn dude. I wanted to love this guy, but I don't know where he stands. Yeah, I don't know Oh, dude, you're awesome, but what is your jacket? What is going on here?

Oh, okay. All right. So another florida danie uh story here. So we're driving down a1a It's a famous road over here fort lauderdale beach There's a lot of traffic because they close one lane on the weekend So people can just walk and run and do whatever they want to do and now it's one lane of traffic bumper to bumper Shit's crazy. I'm trying to make a left. I go to try and make this left. It's gated off. I couldn't make the left So I'm trying to merge back into the lane where it's the one Lane that's bumper to bumper traffic. I'm trying to get in there. I'm not even moving I'm waiting to get let in this guy just starts fucking laying on his horn

So I'm in the car and I'm looking at the guy and he lowers his window And uh, he was just this toothless dude Uh in a pickup truck, uh Mexican dude Just yelling yelling I could see I'm like yelling And me I can't understand what he's saying, but I gotta start yelling back. So I'm like, fuck you Because first I was like, yo, bro, like no one's trying to do anything

But he can't hear me and he's getting like this like this like that So I'm just like, yo, fuck you. I'm like the fuck you and then I just start laughing at him Now I'm laughing because he's so fucking hyped up Damn. Yeah, so he's laughing. I'm I'm laughing at him. He's like Oh And I'm like, yeah, I do think it's funny motherfucker. Fuck you So Okay, I see him I see him to now he's two cars ahead of me and he keeps going like this

Like pull over like pull over. Oh, he wants to go one on one with a boy He wanted to go one on one with the great one. Yeah So I'm looking at him And Selena's in the car Um And at one point she got out and was just like, yo, just drive bro because her her window doesn't work on the side So she had to open the door. She was like, yo, just drive bro. And then I see him like cursing Again, so now I'm thinking he's cursing at her or whatever

So now I'm super tight like I'm locked in. I'm ready to go mode So I'm looking in his rear view mirror to see what he's doing if he's like going around Florida's a little loose with the weapons down here. So I got keep an eye out. So I see him taking his shirt off In his rear view mirror. I go, oh, it's going down He takes his shirt off puts a la dodger hat on Oh, yeah, that's the fighting uniform. That's the fighting uniform Gets out of his car

Gets out of his car Stands on the side of his car could pop five foot two Oh boy So now I'm like, all right now I'm like, yo, I got to get out of the car because if he comes towards the car I got to intercept this little fucking guy and knock this guy's lights out And I'm going to get out of car Selena's like, no, don't get out of car So I don't get out of the car this guy gets out of his car for two seconds. It gets back in his car

And now he's still doing this like make a left. I want to fight you on the left So I make the fucking left Guy was nowhere to be. Guy was nowhere to be found. Guy was nowhere to be found He dipped fucking pussy But uh, yeah, this guy wanted to fucking fight me because I was trying to get in the lane took his fucking shirt off Had a big la tattoo right here. I was about to fold this old fuck, but I was just like, you know what? Let's not do that Yes, I'm I'm too old. I love how you think I love how you're telling the story now as if you

Exercise some self-control like you pulled over and he went away You're like, let me not do that The guy didn't show up. No, I didn't pull over because everyone was stuck So I'm like, yo, if he comes towards the car, I'm gonna get out of the car and beat this guy's fucking ass Or at least attempt to I don't know what he's got on him. He could have fucking shot me. I don't know So I get talked into staying in the car. I stay in the car But he says make this left. So I bang the left. I don't give a fuck

So I bang the left and I'm looking for him and I don't see him. He takes off or whatever But now I'm thinking this dude might be following me Oh, this is classic Danny now. Yeah. Yeah. So now I'm paranoid like this dude might be following me somewhere to fucking beat the Shit out of me. So for the rest of the like day, I was super paranoid. You were just you were just like Making hard lefts and right Yo, I took like different ways home and shit. I switched cars in a parking garage I was just like, yo, just fucking just keep going. We got to paint this car a different color Yo, another thing that I've noticed down here. I love it down here. By the way, it's great

But everybody stares at each other What do you mean just like looks at each other and like Yeah, it's like a lot of like image stuff down here. So like people will be walking It'll be like, yeah, man. So I was chilling with my I was chilling with my boy, you know, like and they're walking. I'm just like, yo, why did you just fucking ice grill me in new york? No one looks at each other. Yeah, unless you're like trying to do some shit Like if someone stared at me like that, I'd be like, I'd be like, oh like I'd be like what the fuck happened

Like I did some and then I had one more 7-Eleven running that wasn't violent. It was just hilarious I went to go get Ben and Jerry's ice cream Fish food fire. Um, so I get out and I see a guy out there a little down on his luck So I give him some bucks and then he looks at me and goes I started smoking crack when I was 14 I give him a pound I go at a boy Started smoking crack when you're a 14 Have you ever been drunk and had a heart to heart with a homeless man?

Literally never even close in my life Not one time not even anything more than Don't worry about it. You're welcome man. That's pretty much all I've ever said to a homeless person When I used to get drunk I used to sit down and talk to homeless people all the time It was one of my favorite things to do That was your favorite thing to do It was one of my favorite things to do was to sit down and talk to a homeless person because you see people walk by them all day It was his second second favorite thing to do his first thing what to do was drink

Yeah, yeah, yeah I like to get drunk I like to talk to homeless people What are you gonna do today? I'm gonna get drunk and talk to homeless man. What are you doing? For like a documentary are you doing research? No, dude. I just like I just want to have a friend Did I ever tell you the story about uh, see homeless people down here not snobby They'll take whatever they can get new york got snobby homeless Did I ever tell you the story when I was walking through grand central terminal? A bunch of times and I would see this one guy

All the time. No, so I would give him change from now and then but his time It would always be like money or food helps whatever he used to see him every day after work going back to Hastings So one day I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna do something nice for him I'm gonna go get chinese food and I'm gonna sit and have a meal with this guy in grand central terminal I go to hand this dude general chow's chicken. He looks at me in the face and goes. I don't need this shit I Try to be so good and I just get a homeless homeless disrespect homeless disrespect. That's the worst kind Homeless disrespect. It's the worst kind. Yeah drives me nuts

Hold on before I move really hope that guy doesn't watch the show because that guy's gonna come back and fucking kick my ass probably Folded that guy like a fucking lawn chair All right, let me get to these ads before I move forward with your uh psychosis here It's 40 minutes into the show What are you even talking about? I don't know dogs having sex. Anyway, uh, let's get to these ads and Bruce wills

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Of this girl that I know we were having a conversation. She told me that her ex boyfriend like While she was sleeping put spaghetti and like sauce on her and then ate it off of her Which is like not sexy. I mean you can't eat spaghetti sexily I mean you can but it's got to be like lady in the tramp style Right, but not off of a fucking person. You got to hit them with a fork like the And you got to like twirl he ate it wasn't just like he wasn't just like You can't eat spaghetti like that. I mean you can find a way keep going though. I'm i'm i'm spaghetti guy side still keep going I don't know about all that but anyway, so I put it on the story

And then I just got this influx of fucking dms from people Just sending me like all this weird shit that's happened to them And then after I put the video out I was getting even more Fucking dms one of which was this person who told me that their ex, uh Their ex-girlfriend or their yeah their ex-girlfriend When they were having sex used to say lines from spongebob Like do you do you like that mr. Krabs or some shit like she's called mr. Krabs Yeah, like she wanted to get fucked by an animated lobster

That's not sick That would make my penis disappear Disappear it would just vanish off of your body. Fuck me mr. Krabs. I'd be like What happened to you Like I don't know what has to happen for you to be sexually aroused by spongebob, but You know, it's weird people that jerk off to like Homer Simpson porn Do you mean like people dressed as Homer Simpson or like actual like, uh animated sags like simpson stuff Like they'll jerk off to simpson stuff

I've seen that ad on the side like you're watching porn and all of a sudden there's an ad on the side And it's like march simpson's got like fat knocks and you're like damn like a rocket. Yeah. Homer's got a fat dick, dude Oh my god, if that ad on the side of porn is like accurate guys got a fat dick Fat old dick fat old dick. So when you were so when you were making this video Were there any like on the cutting room floor that didn't make it like that? We're just like insanely outrageous dude. I could literally like go through right now like they're non-stop coming in Like I need these in my life dude. There's there's a ton Oh, here we go. Oh my god. Ew. I'm not reading that

Ew, what the fuck my bad This one's like, okay, I can't even read that but I'll tell you Because it's it's weird screenshot and send it to me though. Yeah, I will but like it's that one was fucking weird Like I'm not gonna read that. I know people are gonna want it Uh But we've just been we just we've pushed too far already in this episode. I'm not gonna bring it to another level Yeah, yeah, yeah, we talked about dog stds in this episode. Okay, uh

Okay, so this is literally this one is from an hour ago. I got this About two years ago. I broke up with my ex because she told me she had visions of us Gaining it on in the bedroom and she would stick her foot up my ass And proceed to tickle my intestines the next morning after I broke up with her I wake up to see my bedroom window open And her trying to stick her toes in my ass when I pulled away. She pulled my dick and said stop baby. I know you'll love it I mean, this is the kind of shit that I'm getting I saw another one actually before that said that her Oh my god, it was someone that I know

Oh, yeah, so one of my friends told me that one of his friends ex-girlfriends uh could only like Oh, no, no, yeah One of my friends this girl he knows said that her ex-boyfriend could only get hard if he farted if she farted on his dick Can you imagine that? You got to save those boots man That's crazy. That's wild dude imagine only getting hard because of a fart

I can never imagine a scenario where I would have to be like fart on my dick Yeah That's crazy Oh my god, what what's your stance on like sleep sex? Wait, what if you like what like what if you woke up to getting sucked? See, I'm not even like To me like when people say that I'm like in

Theory this sounds like hot and like whatever but in practice. I'd be like, what are you doing? I would be Borderline terrified, but I think it would make me super horny. I don't know for me. I'd be like I thought usually we have a discussion before things like this happen. I don't know. It's just like a weird Like you you sneakily got under the I don't know. It's just you know I'm not saying it's like rape or anything. It's just very weird to be like i'm asleep What's weirder getting sucked or eating vagina? While the other person's asleep. Yeah, I think they're both equal. It's just like a weird act I feel like that's a fetish of some peoples though. Like they like to get sucked during sleep

There yeah, I mean there is people like that I think but also another thing is like I There I forgot if this was like a movie or a tv show or or something But it was like the girl had narcolepsy So sometimes she'd fall asleep and just tell her like I'll just keep going And like I would never be able to do that No fucking way like if you fall asleep in the middle of us having sex like you think I'm just gonna keep going I would try to tie it into the bedroom and be like, yeah, you're gonna fall asleep for me, baby

Take a nap take a nap take a nap on this dick. I know I know you're not well rested Okay, um Did you wake up hard today? I don't know Probably I don't know I know you wake up and you just you're just ready to fucking go rock solid Oh my god Ew, okay, this is a this is another one fired off I want it my ex took the used condoms out of the trash and put them back on his dick when he masturbated

Ew and then followed fire and then followed then followed it up with that's not even why we broke up That's a good one that's not even why um I have a question um, okay. Yeah If you woke up And this is a question for the audience if you woke up and your partner was masturbating next to you while you were asleep In the morning Do you know in the middle of the night? Oh like we're talking 330, you know Yeah, just got a little overzealous with the scribbler. Yeah. Yeah, you know what I'm saying just scribbin a little bit too hard playing with an x s

s x I was gonna say an x box then I'll wake up and hang out with her No, no, I was saying she's over there playing with an etch a sketch Yeah, yeah, she's over there just fucking drawing Picasso on that thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Do you maybe try to join in? Do you get upset? Do you go back to sleep? Or do you confront and be like hey, what's going on here? um

I feel like there'd be a questioning like I'd wake up and I'd be like Are you what are you doing? and then if they were like Were embarrassed and tried to hide it then I probably wouldn't pursue But if they were like I'm what do you mean by pursue you mean like try to fuck or like no I like try to get an answer out of them and be like hey, what are you doing? No, I said, what are you doing? You rubbing your pussy over here? I got work in the morning. I'm sleeping over here. What are you doing? I just changed these shoes

And you jerk off on them When you pussy over there, I go to work every day. I come home. I have the same dinner every night Now I gotta wake up to my wife drunk it off next to me in my sleep The baby's asleep in the next room Disgusting you make me sick. You make me sick. Go stay at your mother's Go jerk off of your mother's You want to go jerk off go jerk off your mother's house day Go junk off outside with the rest of the animals. Yeah, I'll tell you what you can start

Junking off at 3 a.m. When you start paying the fucking electric bill, all right If anyone should be junking off in his fucking house, it should be me It should be me. I should be able to check off on my couch I should be able to check off here over there in the kids room when they're at practice. I could come anywhere I want This is betrayal No, I think I would just be like, you know I would talk about it in the morning. I hope I hope I would hope that like a part of me feels though If I woke up and someone's doing that then they don't want me to know so I probably would just like pretend

I'm still asleep. Oh Would you cry? I feel like one tear would come out of my eye. Why would I cry? No, you know what I would just do start fucking jerking it I mean if I wouldn't do that if I was just gonna play into this I would just turn around be like, yo, let's go Yeah, but I I think that's I think that's the right way to go But sometimes people just want their own movie theater, you know, I'm saying people are just going in on themselves I get it. Yeah, some people just want to practice free throws. They don't want to play a full court That's what I'm saying. They're just shooting around. They don't want to run threes. Yeah, also. I found this the spongebob one

um Uh, I had an ex that when we would fuck I shit you not he would recite spongebob things such as are are you feeling it now, mr. Krabs A dude called a girl mr. Krabs. Yeah, there's another guy's asshole. No, no, it's a girl So, I mean the dude wanted to fuck a crab Not in my top 10 of animals that I'd have sex with if I was forced. No, I'm not Mr. Krabs kind of thick though Yeah, dummy thick Oh my god, this is funny. Sandy cheeks could have got this dick. Oh hell. Yeah, sandy cheeks had the fat cheeks

Hell, yeah, yo, here's another one. I had an ex that every time he got home He would check my drawer from my vibrator and would tell me you used it because it's not in the same spot as it was yesterday Freak, dude, I'll tell you this Real honestly, I don't you're vibrating while I'm out at work Slave it and then when you go to work. I jerk off the fucking hentai porn Mr. Freak. Oh my god. No one's more hypocritical about masturbation than men. Nobody is Why would dudes be mad that someone's using a vibrator? He's just like so what? Let him rock out. Well, you like this more than me

Yeah, yeah, probably. I mean once your dick starts vibrating and then maybe you know Different days different days. I want the D different days. I want the vibrates some day Yeah, some days. I want to vibrate other days. I'll take it. You know the flesh I don't take that. You know what I would do. I'd be like, yo, let's let's do it with your vibrator Let's bring this in Just like this vibrator up my ass. Well, no, I wouldn't go that far. I wouldn't go that crazy But I'm just saying like for you for you know, we can incorporate Yeah, let's have fun. Let's go crazy. Let's vibrate. Let's get a vibrating blanket in here

Bro, since you've talked about it on the show, I've been nothing doing nothing but pressing my balls up against this chair This ball skin myth is so true Myth It's not a myth. It's not a myth. This is real life. Shit I'm trying to find another one now. What do you think about those guys that get like their balls stomped on? Oh Like is that a normal thing? I know it's not normal, but like I know some dudes like pain And like say like a really close friend you came up to you and was like, yo, like I'm really into this

Would it change your opinion on them at all? No, I wouldn't change my opinion on them, but I definitely would like I'd be like, yo, I'm gonna grab a bottle of wine and we're just gonna sit and talk about this for four hours Yeah, and I'm gonna bash your balls with it after yeah, I'm gonna smash your fucking balls Oh My god, all right, I got another one Uh, oh my god A grown-ass man once

Messaged me and sent me pictures of him wearing a diaper while sucking on a pacifier He offered me $50 an hour to babysit him diaper changes in all shit was weird. Here's what I'll say I'm down to babysit a man, but I'm not changing anyone unless we up this price Yeah, yeah, there has to be a change fee. It's gotta be a change fee dude. Uh, if I don't have to change you Then you know Also, how am I supposed to lift the grown man's legs up and wipe his asshole? It's fucking heavy. I can't burp a grown man I mean, I could You could you could you could it's just a lot dude. It's just a lot

Honestly cleaning a grown man's diaper is probably easier than a baby's Because grown men they poop logs babies. They just it's just you know, it's a fucking water slide in there What would you do? If your friend asked you to film a porno for them Like direct it They were like you do it. Yeah, they let you know like me and my girl want to have sex But you know, we want it to be like, you know, you you know your way around cameras and editing and shit We'll pay you

Would you do it? How much are they paying me? Like five grand Oh, what? Yeah You film it like you do the whole thing you wear a turtleneck. You show up. Whatever you want. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah What's the lowest price? I think I don't know I think it would have to be someone that I know

And then I'm like friends with Yeah, yeah, yeah, it wouldn't be a stranger because I don't want like yes. I know that's some fucking Person just you know, their ears just perked up like oh I can get them to direct Like yo, if I'm gonna get a lens inches away from balls then You know, I gotta know these balls I gotta be familiar with these nuts

Another hypothetical Yeah Is someone DM'd you right now? The answer's probably no, but go ahead. No, no, no. All right, and they're like, I'll give you $10,000 To send me a video of you just coming on your feet They don't see your dick No, dude, no Oh, it could be no no not for 10 grand. No, no one sees your face. I wouldn't even I wouldn't even like fake that

Like I wouldn't even have he's like, listen, you could use conditioner. It just poured on your feet I beg I can't it would just feel so weird Feet shits so weird to me. I don't know why Dude, yeah, even though you've sent pictures of your feet. Oh, yeah, I mean, I'm you know had had to do it just for the experience I'm actually being accosted as we speak Little gay in it. Yeah I'm not wrong with that. I mean, you know Some dude out there is just busted nuts to your feet. Come on

That's the truth. What do you think he's gonna do to hang him up in his house and be like, what a beautiful pain It's not Jeffrey Epps. They need some fucking freak on on instagram I mean, you know, you never know. Maybe he just you know, he just wanted a nice He's got a scrapbook that he's gonna give to his kid I'm just jealous because nobody wants my fucking Frodo feet Yeah, I know I don't know about your feet My feet are fucking cute as shit. My feet are trash. My feet are trash. Like I don't know why anyone Like I got good bottoms of my feet the top of my feet. It's just you know, it's a it's a problem. It's a thing

First thing we're doing when I get back there is mani-pedis Some mani-pedis. Yes. Yeah, I've never gotten one. So I got to do that. It's great I'm honestly afraid I'm afraid to get a like a a pedicure because you know, people touch my feet. I get really ticklish and I start giggling You get over that you get over that you ever see those ones where they have like eels in the water Dude, I would love to stick my feet in a tank. Just let leeches suck my feet. What is that about? I don't know. I don't know. I think like dead skin It's like an old asian, you know

Urban legend that's real or something Is it asian? I thought it all was. It has to be asian. I think that yeah, they're all kind of right Well, I mean that industry is predominantly asian Joseph I presume

that uh It is I don't know I've never gone there though. What if somebody asked to film a porno in your apartment? No No, no, no you get to direct Well, I do like creative control But like nah, bro, like unless they were like paying for like a cleaning service and like all this shit What about would you make out with one of your friends for them to have sex with a girl their dreams?

Where you get what what get I feel like I'm back at your lunch table and we're trying to give each other boners. I'm trying to get a boner, bro Oh my god, bro, if it meant Jennifer Lopez for you, I would fucking tongue the shit out of you. Oh god, don't I just You know, there's something about like Watching like I don't I can't even watch Watching people make out is disgusting to me. Yes Like even in like in movies and shit like even if it was Jennifer Lopez and fucking whoever And Matthew McConaughey in that movie and they're making out for whatever reason. I'm like, this is kind of like I feel like I shouldn't be here

Okay, so, you know what's really gross too when people make out at their weddings Oh my god, get up there. It's a nice little tap. I love you. It's not like It's not like And they open their mouth and do this thing like I'm like, yeah Like ew, I can see the side of your fucking tongue. I don't want to see that. I don't want to see that Yeah, what would be your perfect wedding kiss? My perfect, I mean, it's a regular kiss. It's like, you know, you got to hold it for a little quick No, no, no, no, no, no we go one one one main kiss

That's it. You don't double up. No, you do one Listen one one main kiss and then a very quick tap All right, so like all right and the main and then the main kiss you hold Longer than a usual kiss just for pictures And you know to get that perfect moment and then you just follow it up with like a And then you you know, you walk down the aisle you go get drunk Okay, do you do you grab the face or the hands you stay with the hands and do the pull You don't grab the face. What the fuck? What is this? We're at a club

No, you you grab her by the waist or you put your hand to like, you know, like on the like on her spine Like that little like, you know what I'm saying? That's fucking sexual Yeah, you like you put these two fingers and her spine like holder And just be like like a tripod or maybe you dipper. No, you don't dip on the altar. You can't dip on an altar Can't dip on the alt. Yeah, they can't do that. I can't do the a uh I think you do this one like the And then everyone goes

And then little and then a smile You used to do a double tap at the end. No, like little ones little What is this show? No, dude, I just go like this, right? You give one good like Get the fuck out of there, you know what I'm saying? Something nice like that We gotta make the first one powerful Yeah, but you can't smush you can't smush faces because that's not good for pictures You gotta smush just enough That it looks like you're in love

And then you back out and then you give them like the and then you fucking leave You know what I'm saying? You know, it's a stupid tradition also my wedding And then all of a sudden now I am at the mercy of the people When I have to kiss my wife everyone's banging their glasses. It's like dude enough Yeah, you want to watch us kiss? Let's just dance Put rihanna on forget about banging your glasses. Let's fucking let's just dance

do you ever think like uh Like the bride and groom should maybe talk at the wedding. Why are we like Have this culture where it's like you guys are just mute all day Oh, you can't see each other Well, no, no, no, no like because it's like weddings like best man gives speech dads whoever Bridesmaids well, I mean the idea is that you do it with the vows you say, you know

Rachel you've been right by me my whole side What the fuck did I just say? Right by me right by my mind by my whole side except for that night at 3 30 a.m You try to play with your goddamn vagina Even though I caught you playing with your fucking clit At 3 30 in the morning I still think you're the one for me Except for that little blip that little bump in the road other than that. It's been smooth sailing

Oh god Even though you told me you weren't thinking about anybody else, but me not buying it But I'm not buying it. Nothing that little therapy can't fix I want to be your vibrator That's funny, um, oh my god, but yeah, man, I'm telling you No, I don't know that like a bride and a groom they don't talk to each other You mean like I mean, yeah, they don't give speeches at like their own wedding It's like you don't get to thank anybody for coming. They just walk around like point

I mean you walk around that's see that's the worst part about a wedding like I want to have everyone come to me. I don't I just want to sit there I don't want to because you know like you have so much duties like I just want to hang I just want to party. I don't want to go around and have to say hi to everyone It's like the least favorite thing to do in the world It's just it's like really it's like you really didn't do anything Like you got married, but you've probably been with this person forever Yeah, what are we celebrating here? You know, it's a congratulations. It's like I get it like I understand like the

lineage of it and like that's how it works, but like Switch it up a little bit I don't know like when I like at a wedding It's like you walk in and you you know, you do your thing then there's speeches And then you got to walk around and say hi to everyone That's like That's a fucking payday though. I just want to do this And then that's it. I just want to be on segue

Pull up in a tux and do little spin moves and like I just want to say hi to everyone and uh, don't come up to me Yeah But I'm not coming up to you And what's with like the cake all over the face And what's the fucking thing where you got to take the thing off with your teeth? That was just on your fucking fiance your wife's leg and then throw it to your fucking creep friends Yeah, what is that because that's and also like what is sexy about this thing around your leg Like you know, you're wearing a headband around your thigh. What and I'm horny for that. No

Who you John Cena? Yeah, what the fuck are you doing dude? I gotta what is like do you think I'm gonna take off your wedding dress and be like, oh nice a little headband That fucking like now it's you know Like what part of me wants to take something off of you with my teeth? And then throw it to my scumbag friends. Yeah in front of my 90 year old grandma Yes, yeah, so they can go to their hotel room that I paid for and jerk off in it I'm not trying to do that Me neither and what is it? This means that they're gonna get married. No, it means actually the opposite

The person who is jumping in the air trying to grab an undergarment Of some kind of my wife's on her wedding night is not the next to get married. I can guarantee that 100 fucking pig Whoever catches that thing Also the bouquet like we're now we're just we're tossing stuff. This is so stupid The tossing of the bouquet women crowd around I've never seen An immaculate flower toss Oh, like always a bad toss it always goes in the front always it's always a bad. It's always short the fucking thing

It's always short. Yeah, I I tried the fair catch uh at Dom's wedding She threw a thing that night. Yeah, you were fucking dwarfed. Yeah It was it was it was it was you were fucking banged up. Yeah, I don't remember that I don't remember her throwing it did Dom throw anything or no No, probably just threw up in his pants probably no Dom. Yeah, that's what he does Yeah, those are dumb those are dumb things man. Yeah, I just I don't want to I don't want to like borderline eat my fiance's vagina and eat like Fabric off of her to throw to my fucking whore friends

I think that just goes to show like how far we've come as far as like how women dress because back then it was like They wore headbands under layers of clothes and we're like, oh my god, that's so sexy and it's like what the fuck Like this is a ribbon or whatever the fuck it is Let me let me ask you a question. You have a daughter, right? Yeah 15 years old And she's walking around the house in her bra Okay, do you do you tell her not to do it? Yeah, I'd be like why are you wearing a fucking bra around the house, right? Isn't it a respect thing? Well, there's just a difference thing like it's not that you're sexualizing it. It's just a confusing thing

Like why are you wearing a bra around the house? I don't want to see it. Yeah It's just 18 you move out wherever the fuck you want in your house. Yeah, go crazy. Yeah. It's like your brothers are here This guy fucking humps everything. Yeah, I don't know what's going on here Yeah, why did you ask me that? No, because uh somebody I know who's a father Uh had a situation with their daughter. So I was wondering what what you would think of that situation Yeah, I just think that's you know, whatever

I mean, it's it's one thing if like you were just in the pool you're walking around you pay to like whatever like, okay but it's just strange Like even I wouldn't walk around my mom's house in my underwear and shit Yeah, I don't do that like that would just I don't know. No, it's different. I guess. Yeah, I hear you. I was wondering that Dude, I don't know kids these days you can't even fucking like you go on tiktok And there's a lot of these girls that are like fucking 19 years old and they just walking around with white shirts White shirts, no bra whatsoever nipple piercings potent

Nipple piercings just You know out and about not there's anything wrong with that But it's just there's a lot of them and it's becoming a thing I'm just saying it's becoming a thing. Yeah So, you know It's a little while it's a The bra is losing stock by the day people are throwing the bras out. I like the bra. I think the bra adds a nice layer of stuff It makes you know, it just kind of shapes and like shapes shapes those tits and it's not listen

I like tits whether you know, they could be at your knees. I'm still gonna find a way to love these things but I'm just saying I think the bra is going out the window. I think victoria's secret the secret's out And now people are like we're just gonna let the nips hit the wind You know, it's hot as fuck calvin climb bra lets Yeah, I love those Those bra I love all of that That shit is so hot. I honestly honestly. Yeah, I I would argue that I like

Also, like those those like booty shorts. God. I love girls the booty shorts more than like thongs girls calvin calvin crime It's a calvin crime Calvin crime if you're not rocking those calvin clients. Yeah, yeah, they're great hot the white ones Get me fired up. I'm back in high school. I'll get a boner at the table right now You know, it's crazy We're gonna have to demonetize this episode because we're gonna name the boners at the lunch table

Oh, yeah, or something or something boners at lunch boners boners on command Boner on command. Um, can we find a way to like kind of dress it up to make to like fool the algorithm on youtube and be like Not say boner, but say like stiffy or like hard on command No, it's too vague chubby chubby chub chubbed Chubbed and ready to grub chubbed at lunch

chub Yeah, I don't know we'll figure that out. We'll figure it out. We'll fix that in post. Yeah, we'll take this out This episode has been all over the place. Just an absolute disaster. Honestly. It feels like the good old days We've been crushing it. Let's just say it. Let's just say it crushing it. Let's just say it. Let's come out and just say it Oh, actually fucking crushing it to this man. We have not okay Got a tweet uh earlier today and he said Gonna be honest been listening to the base me are for a bit and lately you guys been getting real wild on it at times And it's kind of really getting cringe. I still like the show and i'm gonna listen though

So just wanted to say my thoughts. Yeah ass pussy What's cringe? What are we talking about? I don't know people tell me I've changed every day. You have your skinny Yeah, but no, but there's I was reading one of our itunes reviews the other day. Listen listen to shit Do you say art tunes art tunes? I was reading art tunes reviews And I went to our show and I say let me see what they've talked about us So I went over there. Someone wrote a review about you changing um

Listen to listen to this and this is obviously Like I said earlier in the show Um, you know, it's my 100th episode. I'm so happy to be here. I'm so thankful for joe, you know, I guess I've changed Because this person has some fucking shit to say Oh, I have to search it. Okay the basement yard podcast great guys How do I check the how do I check the reviews what you're asking the wrong girl? Do add basically what it was saying basically what it was saying was like

No, like no dany. It was like Dany has changed. He has like a big head now and These things nice People don't have to understand that i'm just happy. Why is that? What's the big deal? No, dude, you changed you got a big head Tell me you got a big head How I was somewhere seven or one eight

Give me two We're the same size Actually, I actually think I have a bigger head than that. Do you think I've changed? Do you wait, what are you talking about? Do you think I've changed? Oh, yeah Yeah, how like for the worse or for what I mean just change Let me know You want to remain the same? Listen people gotta understand dany's in a different place

Okay Danny's in a different place in my life different place in his life And i'm very and i'm happy just let me be happy. He's happier. He's more confident So I think that's what people think because I think uh, you're more confident now than you were when we first started Recording together and I when I was when I was fat and I couldn't leave my bathroom Yeah, yeah, sorry. We we like we like fat anxious dam We like dany who's scared of his own shadow come back I

Listen, I but people change man. I think they're there if you're they're referring to the the uh, The flex because the flex is new as well The flex is new as well And you know, oh my god, there's a dude skateboarding out here that is so White Yeah, I didn't want to say it also something else, but you know He's probably a patriot chakras stefano Hopefully

uh I don't know. I mean like listen I agree that I've changed like see this is what people want to hear from us from time to time Okay, I want to dive in listen. I I agree that I've changed But I've gone through some stuff in my life Where I had to and I said that I would never address these things on the show But i'm just letting you know I went through a major change in my life people know what i'm talking about I had to do what I thought was best for me to be happy

and i'm happy People just have to let me be happy and not everything you see on the internet is real Okay, what are you referring to when you say that? What do you mean that not everything is real? If i'm flexing on instagram, that's what instagram is for Okay, I call myself pellegrino poppy. I'm an asshole on the internet You know what I mean and it's like I have to portray I have to portray A certain kind of image because I think it's funny

Okay, listen. I'm still the same kid from a small town who can't take a shit without being afraid Is that what you guys want to know? You know Listen, I'm just trying to get healthier just live a healthier lifestyle and just be happy. That's all i'm trying to do And if you get and if you're not down with that I got two words for you Suck it Break it down I just cut a fire promo, but that's it. That's all I wanted to say in a dress

Because you want to know who doesn't get enough attention the people that love this fucking show Those are the people that deserve the attention, right? So I don't want to give any more attention to these people to say and I've changed or this I'm happy. Let me do that the people that matter the people that love this show now as a fan You have an opinion to say what you want. It's a free country. Say what you want I'm cool with it. I'm not going to agree with it all the time But what i'm saying is the people that need to be focused on are the fans of this show Stop fucking talking to me about this shit

I'm fucking over it. All right. I'm happy move the fuck on Break it down Also patreon.com slash basin yard. Uh go to the Yeah, we gotta we gotta cut we gotta cut danie's dick dude So four thousand four thousand patrons and we cutting that bitch. I'm sorry that I'm sorry that I Took the time. No, man. Do you do your thing? You know and like listen I understand that like people are gonna like I don't really know what this person's referring to honestly Like you've guys been getting wild on it at times. It's kind of getting real cringe

That's fine. I mean, I honestly don't fit. Whoa, man his picture not gonna get into it, but it's funny but uh You know, I don't have anything like You know, I'm not offended like obviously you're not gonna like every episode. You're not gonna like every topic You're not gonna like whatever like people can hear us talking about dogs having sex and shouldn't be like oh This is this is ridiculous And like you know what that means that means that we're just being authentic

You know, if if we were just being if we were just pleasing the people Then you would know that this isn't genuine. This is genuinely how me and danie interact and how we do the show And sometimes it's not always gonna tickle your pick. You know what i'm saying? But we would be having we would be having the same conversations if these cameras are off It would actually get worse. It would get worse Yeah, anything we're helpful. We're helping you guys out because we don't want you to throw up Do you want to see what I can't cringe? Dude come over to house three thirty in the morning while my wife's playing with a vagina

All right, and now I gotta mad for you I gotta show you to my my my my mother. I can't wait to watch that back I gotta I gotta portray you. You are through my mother like you weren't fucking drunk at all next to me last night I'll get sleeping in the other room got a veil covering your face. Where was your veil that night at three thirty? Why'd you put the veil over your goddamn quake? Yo dudes get so aggressive. Oh man so aggressive I always get scared when dudes like yell about women like they're like, no, she's so cunt. I'm like, I don't want to hang out with you anymore Like it scares me dude like I get scared like yo, there's a fucking malignant cunt. Yeah

Dude, I get so scared so fast now like I'm so terrified of people you have no idea Like if I was in traffic and cut someone off and they started beeping at me Or even like what happened to you like when people beep at me and shit. I just get mad scared So like I'm like, yo, I don't want to you know, I'm you know what it is I'm so happy part of me gets part of me gets scared too though Like I'm just a little fucking loose in the dome But my thing is like that's all out of fear though. Like I'm not doing this like I must be macho save everybody I'm just like, yo, this guy's gonna fucking get one off on me. Yeah, I just like I'm just like you

I don't know but even like that like, yeah, I remember one time I was at a bar and some dude like started He was talking about donald trump, which is fine like I don't mind people talking about their political views at all and I don't like judge people on that But the way that he was going about it and he was flirting with like these racist remarks And I was like, I feel like I need to leave because I'm getting so uncomfortable like something's like this dude's just like scary Like it's like oh fucking the wall and I'm like I gotta I gotta get the fuck out of here because I'm just like this freaks me out

Yeah, I get in situations like that too where I'm just like give me better off by left Yeah, because I'm not really in the like I don't you know I'm not ready to have arguments about with people You know like I don't want to argue with any strangers like because especially you can kind of you know when someone's yelling like immediately They're like there's no way I can have a civil conversation with this person, but So I'm just like I'm just I gotta remove myself. I gotta get the fuck out of here My thing is I get scared and uh, you know My fighter flights already all fucked up. So like I have to do something

Yeah, there's not a lot of flight Not a big guy Yeah, uh, I'll say Um If you scare me it's tough It's tough now for somebody that I always think in those situations this person wants to kill me Which is it? Yeah, which is a stretch. Yeah, but you know That little guy would have killed you last time. Yeah, that guy would have fucking slaughtered me for something

That guy wanted way more smoke than me like I like But a part of me was like dude if I get out of this car I'm gonna beat the living shit out of you and that's not even to sound tough It was just a height and weight thing. I was just gonna body slam you but um Yeah, I don't know the last person that scared me. I broke my hand. Let's just leave it at that. Yep Uh, and he's been on the run ever since All right, I think we could wrap this up

All right, only god knows how you know where this episode went, but anyway, uh, danny Where can they find you? You could find me uh at some 7-Eleven Fort Lauderdale, Florida Interacting with some somebody that's homeless, but uh, you could mainly find me at instagram uh At instagram at danielo priori on instagram and twitter Check out the stank podcast youtube.com slash stank podcast to check out our patreon We just did a rap bracket about the best rap albums of all time, which is pretty dope Uh, so patreon.com slash the stank podcast with me and mr. Frank alvarez

Back to you jim. Uh, you guys can follow me at joe santa gato. Go check out the video I just posted yesterday, uh posting every tuesday now youtube.com Slash joe santa gato and go follow the show on instagram at the baseman yard and our patreon Yes, and our patreon patreon.com slash the baseman yard trying to get to 4 000 patrons so that danie can get circumcised Because that's the deal on the table right now Hey cut that out cut that out Uh, you can go to youtube.com slash other people's lives for another show that me and my buddy greg do very interesting

We have a really cool season coming up. We're excited to share it. Um, but yeah, that is all see you guys next time You You You You You You You

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