The Basement Yard - #248 - You Ever Watch Cartoons Bang Each Other?

Episode Date: June 29, 2020

Joe claims he sees colors in peoples names, he may have had TB at one point, suckable foods and cartoon porn, Enjoy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Guys go check out our patreon where you can get our daily morning show and next week's episode today Welcome back to the basement yard Danny. How you doing pumpkin? What's up, baby girl? I just made you hesitate today. I've flustered you a little bit I don't know why I had the fire back with the name. I was like, oh, no, I didn't even listen. What'd you call me baby girl? Oh This makes me feel so warm. I know always reminds me of fabulous those that baby girl. I know your situations Yeah, have you ever called someone baby girl? Hell, yeah, you multiple times. Oh Female yeah, like chicks. No, no, no, no. I'm so baby girl. I don't have it in me to do that

I'm not that cool. No, no, I don't I don't think I have you ever called someone shorty. Yes That's good. Yeah, yeah, can you imagine me doing that? It's my shorty But I don't say shorty. I'll be like shouty shout it like you say it like fucking ti. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Like shout is my shout it remember the movie atl Do I He takes it like rips the chain off Lauren London. He's like get up. I hit you in front of her Dude What a time back then Mike Jones. They just wanted the roller skate. That was it

Do you know how big of a yin yang fans? I was Hello, if you were a yin yang twins fan I was if you weren't a fan of the yin yang twins like not know not one party was cool Dude, literally like an eighth grade. I was just walking around the hall. It's going wait Do you see my dick a bitch and then people like what the fuck like I was just walking around whispering like all the time You probably thought you were so cool to like while you're so cool. Yeah whispering to people like wait Do you see my dick? Yeah, you know, do you remember when usher came out with yeah, like the song yeah

Yeah, and he goes peace up a town down when the first time he did that I was like yo peace and a oh my god I was mind-blown the first time I ever heard Skook it. I was like, oh my god. What is this you want to make up? Wait, you know it makes you want to put on baggy jeans and Air Force ones and just start like in the club That shit made me want to go crazy And then when he takes his chain in the music video and he like throws it around his neck He's like, oh like a hula hoop. I'm like damn dude. Let's do it. Can move and then the beat cuts out

He's like I want more dance and I'm not gay. How the hell am I supposed to leave? And then Lou John in the background I'm in the breed back! Yo, that song is amazing. I need to listen to that song as soon as we're done here Ludacriff Ludacriff That's another good song

Oh lovers and friends is amazing What? Lovers and friends is one of my favorite songs ever I think Ludacriff Yeah man Yeah, by the way Usher in that music video, that was about 40 years ago. He looks exactly the same Usher? Little John or Usher you said? No, I don't know what little John looks like

You know what little John looks like? I do, but like I don't. Like he's always wearing sunglasses and hats and you know I just can't really see him I told you the story of how I hung out with little John, right? Yeah, that's amazing Such an iconic person to hang out with I know, so we go to this club Where the fuck did I go? It wasn't Marquis It was Tal-Mate? I don't know where I was

So we go there and my buddy who's a DJ was like Yo listen, I'm here with my boy And I'm like alright cool, like yeah, we'll come through So like I go through with a couple people and it's fucking little John It's like you forgot to mention your little boy is fucking little John Yeah, and I was just like What? I pulled up on him, I was just like, yo bro

Bro And I was like, I love you He's like, yeah, he's like that's cool And I was like, oh my god, he said yeah And then he was like, yo let's do Don Julio shots And I was like, yeah dude, we're gonna drink Don Julio So I got fucking wasted with little John I made a vine with him too

I thought you were gonna say I made a vibe with him And I was about to fucking end this whole show You're about to just flame me Yeah, oh yo, we hung out and we made a vibe Yo people from California love talking about like it's a vibe Vibes off I'm like shut the fuck up dude Yo let's go somewhere and catch a vibe

Let's go on a hike and like just catch vibes Catch each other's vibes Like what does that even mean? I don't know, I think it's like something about like I don't even know about like an aura Like what's the equivalent They're mad spiritual out there Yeah, like what's the equivalent of like New York lingo vibe

Like let's catch a vibe I think what you're saying is like let's hang out And they're like yo let's just go catch a vibe somewhere It's like yo So odd to me, so odd to me Somebody will explain it in the comments I'm sure Let's ride the vibe Let's just read your vibe

I'm reading bad vibes, I hate it You know, when people say the vibe is off And it's not off Probably drives me more insane Than anything else on this planet Vibes off right now I'm just like what are you talking about I'm fine

If someone fucking said that to me Of like we walk into a bar and they're like I don't know about this place The vibe is off I'd be like bro Go fucking pray somewhere Yeah what's wrong with you I don't get it

Go recycle or some shit Like what are you talking about It's fucking strange The other thing that's strange Is that COVID is going crazy in Florida right now Yeah you're right Now you're in a fucking basically a Petri dish You know what's happening

It's following you I know Because you were in New York And New York was burning to the ground And then you left And now the fire is following you I'm a little afraid Nobody wears masks down here

And I don't want this to be like Let's just like shit all over Florida But it's gonna happen Nobody wears a mask down here I wear it, I'm masked up I'm gloved up I had to go out yesterday Because I've been trying to find a PlayStation

You would think that a PlayStation 4 Is the cure to COVID right now I cannot find one anywhere And I'm starting to fucking lose it All I want is a fucking PlayStation 4 So I could stay inside And play The Last of Us 2 And just live my fucking life

There's a lot of weird things That you can't find right now Like you probably can't find a PlayStation 4 You can't get a bike Dude, the bike shop in my neighborhood Has a line down the block Like fucking Pacha What the fuck?

What the fuck is wrong? Why does everybody want a bike? Why are there so many weird things That people want to buy now? Yo, also Jigsaw Apostles Can't find them No, they're all gone Scares

The Jigsaw Market is up Yo, you know what else is up too? The Kinect 4 fucking market is up I looked for Kinect 4 in multiple stores Couldn't fucking find it One of the best games of all time But why are people getting Kinect 4 When we still have electricity?

These are the things I don't understand Because they're stuck inside You can only scroll on Instagram And look at boobies for so long You gotta play Kinect 4 sometimes I know, but it's just like Come on, dude And then the weird...

I always think about shit like this too It's so weird that No thought is an original thought Why? So like, me being like Yo, we're stuck in here Let's get Kinect 4 and do something Different

Millions of people have already thought it Way before me And now I can't get Kinect 4 So PlayStation 4, you know what We're probably gonna get locked down Some type down here maybe If it keeps getting crazy Let me make sure I just have a PS4

So I can play this game I cannot find one To save my fucking life Yeah So that makes more sense to me though People wanna go outside And buy video games and shit Because they know they're gonna be inside

But this whole thing about Jigsaw puzzles being out People wanna ride bicycles What the fuck are you doing? I mean, I wanna ride a bike No, but it's not in 1954 There's more fun things to do Than ride a bike

I mean, it's not like people like Oh man, you can't find any wooden tops And jacks Or whatever the fuck old people used to play with What the fuck is a wooden top? Like you ever... Like a non-Jewish dreidel Oh, okay, alright

It's a dreidel It's like those seltzers that have The Hebrew letters on it Yeah, yeah, yeah It's just a non-Kosher dreidel Yeah, it's not blessed by a rabbi It's just wood I think that's what that is

But, you know, only old-ass people Play with that It's so weird how, like, people back in the day Were entertained by, like, the weirdest shit And also, speaking of bikes People back in the day rode that fucking bike With one big-ass wheel And then one tiny wheel

Who designed that? I don't know That's so wrong And it obviously is wrong You wanna know What was the thinking to get to that point? Just be like, you know what would be cool? If we just made that front wheel

Just a little bit smaller You know what would be awesome for a bike? One that you have to literally scale Like Spider-Man to get on And then if you hit a bump in the road You're dead How'd you get up there? How do they get up there?

They have to, like, climb on the back Of another man or something But it's dangerous Also, a unicycle? If a unicycle isn't used for, like, The Ringling Circus What are we using a unicycle for? Speaking of uni

I've been riding a bike and running and shit So I'm out there on the streets The amount of people That are riding electronic one-wheeled Skateboard-looking things Is insane I've seen, like, eight What?

First of all It looks like one car wheel With a piece of wood On either side of it And they just stand on it And they just fucking fly Like a unicycling idiot And they kind of, like, lean forward a little bit, too

Like... I'm like, whoa, that thing is pretty fucking cool But how do you get off of it? I don't know, man I saw someone get on it And, like, start it They start it like you're standing at the edge of a ramp Like, about to drop in

Like Tony Hawk and shit And then they just, like, step on it And it fucking takes off No, no way How do you slow down? I'm gonna bust my shit on that Yeah, I'm not doing that I love, like, little cool vehicles, though

Like, that's one of my favorite things What does that... what do you mean? Like, I love, like, scooters and bikes And I love all that shit But, like, I... What little vehicles? I do, I love them Uh...

Oh, my God Oh, my God My phone, sorry Is it... it's not next to the thing, is it? Cause then it's gonna go like... Oh, no, no Do you remember that video, that Australian guy Like, uh, describing that dog?

Oh... Dude It came babbling over RAAA! RAAA! RAAA! Yo, the fucking... that guy The transition was so fast So, like, it came over and you RAAA! RAAA! RAAA!

The wipe is standing right there I'm like, yo A part of me respects him for it Cause it's like, you know what? He did, like, a real impression of it But this person is a fucking maniac Oh, God, dude He came babbling

Kind of babbling over RAAA! RAAA! Oh, man, that's so good I love that shit, bro Um, listen, I'm just gonna get into it Uh, I talked about it on the morning meeting SpongeBob gay? Is he gay?

Is he gay or is he asex? Um, I think he's just a cartoon You know, I think cartoons don't fuck I've never heard of this Oh, well, you haven't clicked on that side banner Pornhub No, I've clicked on that side banner I've seen Marge take a fucking dragon dick before

Yeah, yeah, yeah You know, I've seen that By the way, Marge Simpson Way bigger tits on porn websites than in the show Yeah, that green dress isn't the most appealing dress Yeah, put something else on You know, but she's got hammers That's besides the porn

Marge is hot Yeah, people are getting banged on the internet Cartoons, but, um Hold on, before we move to this What we're actually talking about here Give it to me, give it to me Have you ever indulged in, you know, cartoon porn? Yeah, like when I was younger, that was like a thing

Like everyone was just like Wait, you would like, so like you would like, you know Digimon's going at it or some shit? No, I wouldn't be like Digimon It'd be more like a long family guy, maybe I wasn't really, I wasn't really like Aware that it existed when I was super young But I'm telling you right now, bro

If I could see a porno when I was super young Of Ash fucking Misty I probably wouldn't have come outside that day You know what I mean? That would have taken a whole afternoon to digest They could have three-wayed it with Brock too I can't have Brock in there That guy's just amazingly sexy hot

Sexy hot and his... A Blazian man, I think Yeah, he was Blazian And they had... His main thing was Onyx Was obviously codenamed for his cock Yeah, it was a rock-hard, cock-shaped Pokemon Dude, that means that Brock had a fucking

Ham dog Absolute hammer, son Big old hammer But yeah, I would watch Ash get it on For sure Yeah, dude I could just picture Ash catch him You know what I'm saying?

Pikachu's in the background just chilling And just making noises And then Misty comes in She's got Tokopi on her back You know what I'm saying? Tokopi And she puts her down They start going at it, right? And in the middle of it

He does that thing where he takes his hat And he turns it backwards And then you know it's like Yo, he's about to like Give her some pokeballs right now Hell yeah And then he just destroys her gym Destroys her gym

Oh man Oh man I love when things that usually come out of my mouth Come out of your mouth Because then it's like, you know Oh fuck I know I'm not the only one Yo, it's really crazy

Because I've only Like when you go on like porn hub Or whatever, right? And you're scrolling You'll see these random videos Like these thumbnails That have like cartoon stuff going on And it's always like avatar

Yeah First of all, avatar, last airbender Did you watch that? No But a lot of people are talking about it right now I know, it's like all over the place I don't understand I hate when I don't know why things are trending on Twitter

It drives me nuts Because you click on the trend And you try to like find the original one But you can't Yo, by the way, Twitter Completely controlled by K-pop fans Oh my god Everything is like, yo, what's up

This guy got arrested today And then it's just like a video of a Korean kid Just dancing I'm like, what? Dude, the other day I'm like, exactly what you're talking about It was like last airbender Whatever I click on it

Or like dude, Mitt Romney was trending I click on the trending topic of Mitt Romney And all I see is gifts of fucking Korean dudes Singing and dancing their asses off Like K-pop fans are fucking ruthless They're just like, yeah, I know this is happening But this new K-pop song came out We stan

I don't know any of their names I wish I did It's gotta be fire though I don't know any K-pop shit But it has to be fire For them to be so fucking dedicated to it You know what I mean? It slaps

It slaps It has to slap K-pop slaps They don't call K-pop for no reason That shit pops I just don't... What was I... Two things on Twitter that were...

Wild to me The cop at McDonald's Did you see that? I did This person needs to be taken off the job Immediately I thought it was a bit of an overreaction I would say so

She's like, she brought me the coffee And I'm like, I don't even want the food Cause I am so afraid I'm like, this person has a gun Let's take him off the streets So for people who don't know I mean, there was this female cop Who like pulled into a McDonald's

Give us a break She ordered like an egg McMuffin Or some shit Or a McGriddle and a coffee Which by the way McGriddles are fucking good Oh my god I could literally

Eat a thousand of them It's like, oh you want a bacon egg and cheese In between two pancakes That are filled to the g-g-g-gills Here's a fucking McGriddle Dude, and also the pancakes Are surgically injected with syrup Are you kidding me dude?

Grown They're so... I want it so bad I would do anything for that Do you remember when McDonald's Like played all of us And made us all look like cucks Because we fucking...

They were like, yo breakfast all day No McGriddle I'm like, what the fuck are you offering us then? Yeah, and the other thing too Is the crispy chicken sandwich Crispy filet of fish Or chicken sandwich It's not available after midnight

What happens after midnight? Yeah What is that? What is that about? Why can't you have that? The ghouls come out? And why is the McFlurry machine always broken? Why is there so many fucking things

Going wrong in McDonald's? It's 2020 And it's a machine that makes ice cream There's an entire industry That thrives off of making ice cream I go to the ice cream store I go to Dunkin Donuts Or I go to Baskin Robbins

Thriving They're fucking... Their machines are fucking pumping Why is the machine at McDonald's not working? You get the Oreos You get M&M's bitch I get the M&M's Yeah M&M's slap

M&M's slap I like the Oreo too though I like smoothness with some... With some bumps Okay That makes any sense You take a scoop of that shit And then you go

And then there's some bumps Which are the M&M's And then I get to chew that It's a lot of different textures Have you ever chewed an M&M And the skin of the M&M cuts your mouth? No What's with you always getting cut

By random shit? I don't know You're a bloody guy How fucking hard do you eat dude? Hard Yeah Hard You cut your mouth on shit

I was told that I chew gum Like obnoxiously loud Well there was that time That we were talking about Tootsie Pops And you were like Oh dude they like cut my mouth I was like No Tootsie Pops 100%

Cut the roof of your mouth I don't want to hear it anymore You have to bite them No Because for some reason They would always have these cracks in them These little like Or like crust cracks

Like a planet Like a... And they would cut your mouth If you licked it too hard Who licks a lollipop? You lick a lollipop? Like a... Like a cat?

Yeah a lot of people A lot of people you suck and lick No I just... I just suck Joe you suck and you lick There's two things you do with a pop I don't lick pops I suck pops

Yeah I just put it in my mouth And I suck on it But I don't like And paint my tongue with it Yeah what about ice cream? Do you lick ice cream? I'll be honest

I lick the shit Yeah dude Alright Like a cat cleaning itself I lick that And I always I lick I lick at the bottom And I...

I lick at the bottom too And I like turn it And I like to spin it all the way up You know it's the best too When you get to the bottom Of those wafer cones And you suck the chocolate Or the vanilla that got stuck

In the little six crevices You're just like And then you get to chew it All at once And it becomes like a little Ice cream sandwich Yeah I like this

You know You get to suck it out of the little holes I might actually sound like weird Have you ever like Bitten like the top of your ice cream? Yeah I've done that before Yeah yeah yeah I bite my ice cream sometimes

You know what I'm saying? But once I get to like the cone Like it's like flat I get cone, just cone Then I bite the bottom And I just start funneling it Into my throat Like I start sucking it out

Like I'm siphoning something You know it's cool too Because it has holes at the top too Yeah So you literally go hole to hole It's going And then you bite into it I need ice cream

So bad I need one of those cones so bad Did you Yo have you ever gotten a cherry dipped thing? I've gotten the cherry dipped thing I'm more of a fudge guy though I want a fudge I like a fudge shell

Because then you can bite the top Yeah yeah Oh do I just got mad excited Do you remember When you You could go to the store And buy the shell top shit

Yes And it would Dude I was like blown away by this When I was younger It was like literally like Chocolate syrup That you would just put on your ice cream And it would just turn to stone

Like Medusa looked at it And it was fucking good Like listen I understand I fully understand If it comes out of machine I could make that work in my head Like oh my god

That's like That work in my head Like oh my god This came out of a machine Like I get it To see it just come out of basically my hands Made me feel like a god almost I'm like an ice cream god

So I was like wow Watch me make this hard I can make this fucking ice cream hard Watch me Did you ever get the Reese's syrup? No Whoa that sounds intense Yo strawberry fucking syrup

Like strawberry milk Like that syrup Yeah What is in that? High fructose corn syrup baby Literally I have never thought about doing this in my life But that stuff is so good

That I would be willing To lay on the ground And throw my legs over my head And open my ass And let you dump a whole bottle in my ass Yeah dude I mean you're probably going to fucking Diabetic coma

But like you know Real fast It'd be worth it though There'd need to be a medic on site But I feel like it would be good Do you remember when stevo Funneled a beer in his ass

Funneled a beer into his ass And then he also Had a IV of vodka put into his Like Main veined it Wait is that Allowed?

Yeah I guess He main veined vodka into his bloodstream Got hammered I wonder how fast you'd get like Drunk on something like that Very fucking fast Yeah I mean I assume Yeah

Would you ever do that Like just to try it Fucking no Dude no way I'd be I'd be terrified You know what I'm terrified of Like with needles

Cause don't they say like If you put Like an air bubble in your vein Good night Yeah they say that I don't know how true that is though Your boy's been Your boy's been IV'd up

Well yeah I mean You get in a fucking hospital You hope that these people know What they're doing Yeah that's sure Even though one time I went to the hospital To get blood taken And this woman

Was Crocheting my vein Dude I was getting Fucking Lit up by this woman I was like Is it your first day Huh?

She just couldn't find a vein I am Basically translucent It's very easy to find it But she can't like Doing it and being like Oh no and then Doing it again and I'm like

Lady I'm gonna have braille on me By the time we get out of here Cause she was poking Fucking holes in me The worst is when you have A huge bruise after one It's like

God why Why is this happening Do you remember those shots Back in the day You had to get It was like a TB Or like a Something or whatever

And it would bubble up Yeah that would mean You had tuberculosis though Wait really? Yeah Well I don't know If I ever had that If you get a TB shot

You get passed If there's like A ring around it That means you have tuberculosis You had tuberculosis No That's not a normal reaction To a TB shot

That means you had TB That's no You got a little This kid running around With tuberculosis What was it? 1947?

Yeah dude I'm just saying TB'd my whole life And I'm somehow fine Are you wearing like A paper boy hat and shit The black lung Yeah

Nah dude I don't I never got it But I remember being young And thinking about like If you had like a bubble On your arm Like after a shot

Or something Like I don't know That just popped into my head I don't know if I've ever Had a bubble I don't think I've ever had TB Is what I'm trying to say

I would hope not All signs point to that You had tuberculosis though So Do you remember I don't even know What the symptoms are Do you remember when you

Played video games as a kid I don't know why I just started playing the drums You know Do you remember When you would play video games You'd get that blister On your finger

Like on your thumb Do you remember how Satisfying it was To see all the water Come out of a blister I still I had to do that Not too long ago on my

Achilles Now Here's what I need to understand A blister with water in it Doesn't hurt As soon as you take All that water out Burn city

It just starts burning Why is that Yeah What is this water That's another thing too Where does water come from Why What are blisters

Like what's the scientific reason For a blister Blister I'm sure there's an answer And it's probably very obvious But I don't know But I had a blister the other day And I like them in a way

Cause like I went for Like a run And then I felt it Like when I got home I was like Oh, I'm gonna have a blister And then I looked

At the bottom of my foot And it's like a little gray And I'm like This is gonna blow up later And I'm gonna pop it Like a fucking water balloon Awesome best Popping pimples

Also the best I hate pop it pimples No, they're awesome I would rather pop Ten blisters than one pimple Yeah You don't really get pimps I mean I get pimped

Yeah, but you don't get pimped up Like every once in a while You'll have like a little Like in the corner of your mouth Pimp or something Yeah, I get like Like sweat pimps Around my mouth

I get like pimps I got a Yo, I get pimps On the On my hamstrings That are fucking It looks like someone Shot me with a

Fucking gun Bro, they're I think they're from friction Those ones On the side On the inside of a Male's leg Ladies

If you don't know They become So big Big And black and blue And shit And you have to like Scratch the top off

To get it off I think they might be Like ingrown hairs Yeah, that's 100% what they are But like Yo, it hurts And you have to scratch them off And just squeeze the

Bajibus out of them I know Do you have stretch marks Like where like your thighs are Yeah I remember From like football That's like when that started

But I had no idea Like what a stretch mark was So when that was happening I was like, yo What the fuck is happening Mine are like purple Not like Super purple

But like a shade of purple I have And they're soft Yeah, they're really soft But you can feel like You can poke into your own skin With it Like you can literally finger

Your stretch mark Yeah, it looks like A jellyfish Just had it's way with my Dick Not my dick But like my surrounding Dick area

And it gets hidden By your hair Like if I was naked I would just look like A Puerto Rican zebra Like that's what it would Look like down there Yeah

Some of them On the side of your ass On the side of my ass A couple I have a couple On the side of my ass And then I have I have them here

Oh, you got From lifting Yeah, yeah And then when I gained weight You obviously like Got some stretch marks and stuff Now that I'm losing weight Though I think I'm getting some too

Cause I'm losing it Fastly Fastly Oh my god I'm losing it fastly I'm just gonna go out there And say it That's a very nice sweatshirt

You have on Oh, yeah I wanted to talk about these Uh, tie-dye It's common, dude And this isn't the only one There's like Four other pieces

That are also coming In the tie-dye drop Okay Not put I think We're putting them out July 1st July 1

Okay See, that's when you guys Can order them I know you're probably Staring at it And you're like, dude Talk to me Kinda want the tie-dye

Yeah But they're gonna be July 1st Those live Okay Two different shirts Two different hoodies All different

Kealers Okay But they're gonna be dope This one is fucking awesome I love this one It was just the first one I picked up But they're all fucking cool

I have a bunch right now Care package coming Right to your door, Daniel Thank you guys Appreciate it And you're welcome, guys It's a dream come true For me

We made it happen Your voices were heard And, you know Let's just keep working Let's keep working together You know Let's keep working No, and I'm just saying

Like, if we come as a unit With an idea to Joe We can get him to do something And we got him to do it That's what it is Guys, I've been working Day and night on this for you Day and night

Day He's been Racking his brain Fist over fist Is that a thing? Or hand over fist I don't know what that means Is this hand

I've been working Hand over fist What does that mean? This isn't even hard to do Maybe it's like You know how like When you Like security guards

They stand like this Oh, yeah, maybe But you're not doing anything there either Yeah, that's honestly That's when you do nothing What about this? Bend over backwards What the fuck does that even mean?

I don't even know Has anyone Well, like, gymnast can do that No one's bending over backwards For anybody Yeah, no, that's impossible I'd rather do other things For someone than

Bend over backwards for them I could bend forward I could bend forward for you I just Dude, do you remember How hard the fucking Sit and reach was If you were a boy

The sit and reach Yeah, like, uh Remember the presidential Fitness test? Yeah, I remember I remember Remember the presidential Fitness test?

What the fuck was that? I don't think I took that Dude, you took the presidential Fitness test Was it for the president? Was he doing fucking Yeah, it was like Research?

Yeah, for some reason It was like the White House Instilled this thing Called the presidential fitness test And you had to like Do all these things And you get like badges And shit from like

The president I never got a presidential badge Yeah, but you guys are in Queens So you probably just Wrote you guys all off Well, we just did the maypole Yeah, first of all I'm happy that this

Actually came back up Does this have like any Like religious ties Or something Because it sounds Very, you know, culty It sounds very like Ritualistic

Like the maypole Like you guys did A cute version of it But I feel like somebody Would die at the end Of one of these things Yeah, you got to assume That there was some sort of sacrificial virgin

In the old ways Yeah, like the person That like Fucked the maypole up the most Was like bludgeoned after Because like they just couldn't Survive amongst the others I wonder if anyone

I wonder if anyone else Has done the maypole Because you had never heard of it, right? Dude, when you said that I thought it was like Maypole, maypole, maypole I was like the maypole I was like, why is he

Even called that? Do you do like in the first day of May Or some shit? It wasn't summer activity But I don't know And then if you go on YouTube You can literally see your school doing it Yeah, you can see my elementary school

Doing the maypole It's just a bunch of kids Skipping around and like Yeah, but there was like a process, right? You had to get like selected Yeah, no, I mean They would only take like The best athletes in the school

To walk around with a string Or some shit Well, you had to skip It wasn't easy Yeah, I hear you Skipping requires some more, you know Coordination But you got

Paired up with a girl And then you guys would walk out The whole school is watching this, by the way They would just bring out this pole And it had this thing on top That was like a big flower looking thing And then a bunch of ribbons, right? And then you would walk out

And I got to hold the hand Of the girl that had a crush on Her name was Gillian I remember Gillian There's another one Like Jamie something Jamie? Yeah

This is my Jamie Gillian Your Mount Rushmore of Joe crushes My Mount Rushmore was Jamie She was like, you know, the main one The George Washington, if you will And then we had Jane Okay

She was a genius New cursive and shit Genius Jane Yeah, she was mad smart She played tennis Went to a specialized high school The whole bit Oh, she specialized?

And then Wait, what kind of specialist? A specialized high school Which means Bro, did you Did you find Special Like special ed?

Cause you went Oh, she, oh, okay I heard you do that I thought it was a special Jane No, no, no, no She was a very intelligent girl So she went to a school That I couldn't go into

You had to like take tests To get into these certain schools Okay, all right So she went to one of those schools There was Jamie, Jane, and then Gillian Gillian or was it Gillian? No, it was Gillian It was a G

It was Gillian Yeah, she was like kind of athletic But then like in middle school She went a little emo You know what I'm saying? Started like wearing chains on her pants There is a point Where for some reason

I don't know why Every jock Kind of had a thing for an emo girl I didn't have a thing for emo girls though No, but no, but not like full emo girl But like a girl obviously That's just outside of like Your, your wheelhouse, you know

Sure, yeah Like she wears like a, like she wears like You know, those sleeve glove things Yeah, yeah Like she wears gloves with no, with no With sleeves and no fingers Yes, yes, yes And they're like striped

And they're black and white Yeah, yeah, yeah Or like pink and black, you know And then every once in a while You just be like, okay, all right Yeah Like that girl Gillian I'm digging this weird shit

Yeah, the girl Gillian was like, you know I mean, fifth graders don't have style Like we're just children That are like, you know, dressed by your parents And then in middle school When you start doing your own thing I was like, okay Like she started wearing like ties

So I was like, you know It's a little weird now Yeah, it's a little scary I hope they're all doing well I hope, yeah, keep imagining they see this I did, I do get hit up by the girl Jamie Because like my mom is good friends with her mom Oh, okay

And so I still like keep in touch Keep in touch with her like every so often But like social people Someone found her like Twitter or something one day And she like hit me up I was setting me tweets It was mad funny And my voice cracked

Hello, how you doing Now it's official Yeah, now it's official We're back in fifth grade Now Did you ever like, you know, like Any of these girls? No, none of them

You didn't get to kiss one? I didn't get to kiss any of my Mount Rushmore, no Oh, and then to round out My Mount Rushmore here Was this girl Samantha in sixth grade There's always a Samantha Who was man tall

Like she's not tall But she was tall to me in sixth grade Because I was a short little shrimp Yeah, shrimpy-dimpy But I walked in the first day of class And I was like Hello I didn't say that

I didn't talk to her But like Who this tall thing Yeah, I'm like Yo, who's this tall Puerto Rican Italian woman here Oh, nice She was one of us Yeah, she was

Nice Google got one of us Yeah But that's my Mount Rushmore of girls that I've never kissed All the ones that got away All the ones that got away Hugged all of them Ugh

Hugs are huge Hugs are kind of It's sometimes better than kisses Hell yeah Kisses is like a lot of work Kissing's awesome Don't get me wrong But like a good old hug

So much better Send me over the stratosphere I can get to feel like your bone density Yeah, yo And I could just like For whatever reason When you hug someone And your bodies are touching that much

I just feel like We're transferring Something Oh, for sure No, no, no You're transferring energy for sure Yeah It's like

Oh my god, you got so bad You are Dude, I just like love the I just want to hug someone right now, you know Yeah, hugging In, I would say middle school It's huge, huge step for mankind Oh god, it was so good

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, it was Hold on, hold on Yeah, we're pretty deep into this episode We're at 40 minutes So I'm gonna get to the Holy shit We're gonna get to the sponsors real quick

Then we'll jump back into things here First thing we have is better help Better help We'll assess your needs and match you With your own licensed professional therapist Okay, so if you're one If you're trying to start therapy Or do whatever

You can start communicating in under 48 hours Okay, they have licensed professionals that You know, specialize in relationships Or depression or anything of the sort And if you want to change your Therapist You can, free of charge You know, whatever

It's more affordable than traditional Offline counseling and financial aid is available Okay, so you can visit their website And read their testimonials That are posted daily And if you go to betterhelp.com Slash Yard Wait, oh, I'm sorry

I just read something weird So it's betterhelp.com Slash Yard And join over a million people Taking charge of their mental health Again, that is betterhelp.com Slash Yard And you get 10% off of your first month

Okay, so 10% off your first month Betterhelp.com Slash Yard And then next, we have Indochino Okay, Danny, one of your favorites Love Indochino I actually need to go to Indochino

Yes, I remember one day You were like hassling me that way you had to go But Indochino, you can get Made to measure clothing at fair prices Including suits, blazers, shirts, and coats You get to customize everything Like the lapel or the fabric Or, you know, you want to monogram something

And they started just $2.99 All customizations included They have showrooms across North America That you can book a virtual appointment shop Online at Indochino.com Spelled I-N-D-O-C-H-I-N-O.com And right now, you'll get an extra $30 off any purchase of $3.99 or more

At Indochino.com When entering basement at Checo Check out So, Indochino.com Put basement at checkout You get $30 off But yeah, these suits starting at just $2.99 Like that is a, for a customizable suit

That's going to fit perfectly That is a steal So go check it out, Indochino.com Put in the code basement for $30 off Okay So what were you going to ask me about Mount Rushmore here? Oh, no, no, no, no, no

What I was saying was Is that, you know, have you ever just been like Damn, I wish I got one of them, you know My whole life growing up, yeah At what age did you retire The Mount Rushmore, you think? What do you mean? Like, at some point you just moved on

You just knew, like, they were gone It was over I'll be honest, I thought they were gone Right? So I mean, the first three were gone When I got to middle school It was just, you forget about everything, you know Yeah So the Mount Rushmore was over the second

I left the school for me Actually, that's not entirely true Because Gillian's dad Used to drive us home From school Because she went to my middle school She used to drive me home from school He used to drive us home from school

And I don't know how long that lasted But that was sixth grade And then we just became Different people, me and her, you know what I'm saying Like, she started to wear the chains Yeah, she started to wear the chains and wear the ties And, you know, basically Avril Lavigne

And then I went, you know, into, you know I thought I was like Dominican or something It's a weird name, Gillian Yeah I almost said her full name before Which would, you know, that would be weird But I'm not gonna do that And just before anyone starts digging into my life

I don't follow her on anything and she's kind of in the wind So I don't really, I haven't seen a picture of her In fucking a decade But anyway, so So that was, so then Seventh and eighth grade, there's nothing going on Well, actually sixth grade was when The girl Samantha was

Yeah, don't hold anything back, don't forget about Dude, I got the timelines all messed up, all mixed up Then, after that So we broke up in sixth grade, she called me Like two days after we, you know On summer break and she's like, I think we should see other people Literally said that to me in sixth grade The classic

We should see other people Sixth grader style And then So that happened, I was heartbroken for like You know, 48 hours and then, you know, I was on my bike Playing basketball or whatever the hell And then, you know Then

Then I just forgot about it I dated some people in between in middle school When I got to high school though My sophomore year No, my junior year Of My junior year of Of high school

I was at my football game and I was injured in the beginning Of the season, it was like our first like practice game Not the actual like season Scrimmage And then the girl Samantha from sixth grade Showed up because her friend Was dating someone on the team, so I was like Oh, so I started getting all these feelings again

Played your fucking heart out Yeah, no, I mean, no, I was injured Oh So I didn't play at all So I was just, you know, I was sidelined I wasn't even like I couldn't dress because my knee was all fucked up How'd she look?

She looked glorious Good for you We walked together It was like me and the kid was on my team That I was like friends with and his girlfriend And then I talked to this girl and then we talked The entire way to their car They got in the car

And then we just never talked again Damn, she drove off into the fucking sunset Into the night, dude Yeah It's like the wonder years Yeah, man, it was, it was something But that was it That was it, you know, the next day I was like

You know what, I'm sworn off of the Mount Rushmore there Dude, it was so easy to get over heartbreaks When you were a kid Yeah, because it was like, you know A girl would break out with you and you'd start crying And then your mom would get you a glass of Pepsi And you're like, what the fuck was I mad at? Yeah, it's whatever, like Halo 3's out

But like now it's like, you know Halo 3's out It's something that dumps you as an adult It's like you Everything is terrible Nah, I actually cried mad hard one time Because a girl Didn't like me

And I didn't like even like Try to communicate it, like I didn't say like, oh I like you Then she was like, ah dude, you're like my brother It wasn't any of that, I just like I just knew she didn't like me, so I was like devastated And I started crying Yo, listen to this story, right? It was a joke

Bro, I was devastated back then So I start crying in my room I don't know, I don't really know what happened To make me cry this day But I was crying mad hard And then my mom comes in my room and she's like, what's going on? She's like very concerned I'm like mom, relax, it's fine, it's nothing, you know, whatever

And then she's like Tell me, tell me, I'm like, no, no, no, no, no And she's like, come on, she's like insisting So I say, I'm like mom, relax It's not like someone touched me or something And I don't know why I said that, but I just said that Like as a kid, I was trying to be like, relax, it's not a big deal And that's what I said

Then she got fucking pissed Because then she thought I was like Covering it up She was like, no, you better fucking tell me now And she got mad And then I was like, nah, I like this girl and she doesn't like me And she was like, alright, then she left the room You know, once she found out that I wasn't getting

Who sucked your dick? Yeah, I wasn't getting bamboozled By the local priest or anything Then she was like, alright, fuck you Nah, this girl doesn't like me Alright, that's fine Alright, toughen up, bitch Two things went through your mom's head

He didn't get touched and he's not gay He'll be okay That's like in her head He's like, alright, there's no conversation That needs to be had right now Yeah, it was a weird day But, you know Dude, you gotta let some of this out

A little more often, dude I feel like some other stuff happened in my day Did you and Keith go to the same high school? No What was that like? I couldn't imagine not going to the same school as my brother We've never been in the same school I was never in the same school

That is so odd to me That's not true, we were in elementary school At the same time But also like, when you're young And someone's even one year older than you You don't really hang out like that Like in school No, not in school, but it's like

It would be weird knowing that I couldn't walk through the hallway And my brother wouldn't be somewhere around there Really? You guys lived two separate lives That's so weird Obviously you live two separate lives, you're two different people But like, school-wise I also didn't go to high school with any of my friends

Well, one of my friends currently Eric, I went to high school with And we weren't really that close In high school Wait, so you went to the same Francis Where did he go? Keith? St. John's

Like the sister school of the college? I believe So you guys both went to private school Yeah And it was two different ones Yes I don't know I always wanted to go to that school

Don't you get like a discount Don't you get a discount in private school If you put like two of them in there? I don't know I think at the time it was Harder to get into St. Francis You're saying you were smarter than Keith

Yeah My grades were better than Keith My grades were better than Keith's Back then Yeah, Joe's at St. Francis Put Keith at St. John's Everybody knows why For God

No, that's not why St. Francis is like 75 is passing So if you get a 74 You fail Oh, fuck dude I would have kicked the fuck out of there Yeah, so it was like whatever

Yeah So that's why Keith went to St. John's I went to St. Francis Because I idolized my brother Thomas growing up and he went there And then I started going to their basketball camps And then I really wanted to play for their basketball team So that's why I went

Because I wanted to play basketball for that team And then Yeah Then, you know, didn't go to college And then they recruited like a whole bunch of kids To play basketball Yeah And then

I got cut from the freshman team So never tried out again He was Keith's birthday yesterday, right? Yes How old is he now? He's 30 I thought he was 2 years younger than me No

He's 30, 1990 What'd you guys do for his birthday? Saw you got a haircut, good for him Yeah, Thomas did that like last weekend I forgot, Thomas used to like cut all your hair Yeah, he cut my hair for like a good 5 years Yeah Which is insane

How could you get An older brother To just come to your house and cut your hair As like, and not like young No, this is my My life, like My own person, my own money And I still don't go to a barber

That's wild Have you gone to a barber shop since? No, since Covid Yeah I went to my barber's house And he cut me like on his stoop That's kind of dope It was hot as fuck that day though

I'll sweat my ass off How's the weather up there now? It's humid, dude I have to go for a run right after we finish here And I'm gonna die Because the other day You did the 8 miles, dude, that was crazy But it was because I did that

At Astoria Park And it's right on the water, so it's like breezy over there Yeah, you get that push And I ran in a circle for an hour and a half Until I hit 8 miles And everyone's been asking me if I'm a serial killer because of that But it was easier that day Because it was breezy

And then one day I ran 2 and a half miles And it was humid and I was drenched Yeah And I was fucking dead So it's humid as fuck today I'm gonna try and run 3 or 4 miles And I'm just gonna be toast What's that scale looking like?

I haven't weighed myself in a while I would assume it's around like 183 Let me see your butt I could tell your weight by your butt I guarantee you I could get it spot on I'm not gonna leave the room to go weigh myself though I'm also not gonna flash you my fucking aim I tried guys, I tried

I tried to get you that ass You can fool me On my new set New set looks nice I like it a lot I want a kith mug For the set You, Greg, jack my whole kith swag

What do you mean? I had the first kith hat in the office Now we all got kith hats Kith has been a fucking Very well known New York City brand Since I worked at like Elite Daily Yeah? Did you have anything? No, cause it's expensive

Joe You're right But I'm saying All I know, all I know is this I think I started it In the office You want credit for wearing a kith hat I think I just pulled the drip in there

People saw it, thought it was cool Now they want it You got a mug You went the next level You went the next level You know what we should make? Sanagato Studios bear bricks What the fuck is that?

You've never seen a bear brick? Google it Bear brick? Yeah, a bear brick Oh, what the fuck? This is like Supreme makes these things, right? Yeah, they're cool For what? You just put them in your room? Yeah, you just put them in your room $25,000

Damn, I'm saying we should just make a couple for the office $25,000 Yeah, bro So Fendi makes a $25,000 Fucking Bear made out of plastic? Yes, dude Type in cause

Bear bricks Look how fucking expensive those are Cause? Yeah, yeah, yeah, the artist How do you spell that? K-A-W-S Bear brick Look how expensive these fucking things are $160,000 For a plastic fucking

Ghost looking motherfucker I'd rather buy a house Yeah, or a fire ass whip Or a fire ass whip Danny, you can either buy a house or a Lamborghini I'm like, you know what, I can sleep in the Lamborghini I can sleep in the Lambo How far did the seats go back?

I get a car and a house At the same time, dude Brother? Dude, I'll never forget when Danny first got his Rolex He was like, yeah, I got it cause like, you know, they appreciate So I could sell it for like profit one day I'm like, you're not gonna sell it, dude I got another one

Yep, yep, yep, yep Got a good deal on it though You got a good deal on it? I wanted to talk to you before cause when we were talking about like tops Or whatever It kind of reminded me Because the other day, I forgot who I was talking to But they brought up the name Dolores

And I was like, that's one of the worst names Yeah, if you're not a fucking Westworld sentient It's a terrible name Like, and what I said at the time Was like, the name Dolores Like a baby born, let's say Hypothetically today It comes out

And then the parents go, Dolores Is shocking It's like I feel like a baby named Dolores Has polio And it also comes with like a bunch of rope For some reason, just like rope With this, I don't know, it's like a weird

Fucking thing Just to have a kid named after like Like an old town in Iowa Or some shit, it's like, I'm alright I'm good on this Like, who can't, like There's a Dolores Iowa? I'm sure there is

I guarantee you, there's a town called Dolores Dolores Iowa Nah, it's just a bunch of Dolores's that died in Des Moines Oh god It's funny, it's true Dolores is an ugly ass name

There's some fucking ugly ass fucking names out there, dude Yeah, and I've been You know, on record multiple times And I'm sorry, because I know some of your moms Or maybe even your name is this, but like Barbara No, my name's Danny No, but I was saying The name Barbara

It's not a modern name Barbara's gross That shouldn't be a baby's name That's like a seasoned woman's name And she's a strong woman Don't get me wrong, and I feel like She's a young husband who works in advertising And she smokes cigarettes in the kitchen

This is like this kind of woman But you can't name a baby Barbara You kind of have to earn that You've got to wear that polka dot dress And chain smoke cigarettes And then pour a drink on your husband Or something You're already starting your daughter out to be like

Fringe Trash I feel like Barbara has that big bushy beehive hair Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah And it's always blown out and they have those bangs Over the front and long nails And they have like that headband I kind of like that headband bang look to be honest with you

Yeah, yeah, it's not bad, it's not a bad look Not all Barb's are bad Headband bangs? I'm into it For some reason, I'm into it I like side swipe bangs, like those are hot I like sides, I like the side I just like long hair though Like you know, I like long hair

Yeah Girls with short hair, I could do it I guess, like it doesn't bother me But like, I love long hair I like long hair too You know what's another old name? Ruth Yeah, Ruth sucks Fucking

Astrid, what the fuck Astrid Astrid is the name Is it? Yeah, Astrid is the name Very popular name, it's fucking disgusting That sounds like a type of Like Fault or something like this

The top three grossest girl names of all time Are Astrid, Esther and Gretchen Disgusting Oh Wait, I don't, I don't know Gretchen? Hey Gretchen, that sounds like Something you find in the bottom of the ocean

Gretchen Yeah, they got all kinds They got a soft sell crabs Got some sea Gretchens down there I feel like, you know what Just going back to Ruth, I just feel like That Ruth might be pretty

But like a classical kind of Like pretty, not modern day Like she wouldn't do well on Instagram But she definitely, like you see Around in the neighborhood and you're like Wow, that girl who has the lipstick and like the basket On the front of her bike is kind of cute Yeah, I knew one Ruth growing up

It was My friend Matt's sister Was she, was she young Or she was like 90 She was young, she was a couple, well she was older than us But she was cute What about the name Agnes Horrible

I just feel like that's a witch's name Yeah, if you're not like, if you don't own a cauldron Or if you're not like killing people Like in the Hunger Games Agnes doesn't work Yeah, you gotta like know Minimum three spells If your name's gonna be Agnes

I just think Agnes is a terrible name for a child Why are you doing that? What do you call him? Aggie Yeah, you do Aggie If you don't name your kid Something extremely Italian Or like New Age

Like no names are really cool What? Like if you name a kid Lorenzo It's like alright that's cool Like he has this like cool Italian Like overly Italian name See like Italians though They love to name girls something Marie

And it drives me crazy This is Ash Marie and this is Rebecca Marie This is Marie Marie This is Maria Marie and it's like We get it Or like Rose Like Rosemary Rosemary, yeah, Rosemary

That's another name, like Rosemary I just pictured like she's part of like a group of women That are like stay at home moms And they like you know complain about their husbands And they drink sangria Yeah, Ro Ro Bring the sangria

And the new ports Ro Or like Like dudes names That are really bad The first one that pops into my head Is Chet Yeah Chet

You're automatically your fucking asshole What is Chet dude That's not a name What is it even short for I don't think it's short for anything It's not a name though It's the sound that a baseball makes when it hits your glove Chet

You know what I'm saying Catch that shit That's a good analogy I like that It's not a name dude Chet You know it's the worst name for A guy ever? Guy Guy Why do people name their kid Guy

Get creative Anything but Guy You're almost at Gary Just do that then People come up to me all the time Because my name is Danny it's not Daniel So like people will be like Like when I meet people sometimes

And they see like have to use my ID for something They'll be like it's like what's your name It'd be like Danny it'd be like So Daniel I'm like no it's fucking Danny But then I realized It's not common But it's like my parents basically Gave me a nickname for a full name

Yeah That would be like my parents name it It's the fifth one it was the fifth kid they were like Danny they were like just get him out of here Yeah like you know get out of the room Okay let's sort of sit where baby it's Danny leave Yeah it's kind of weird You ever like think about it

It's like you're Joe but you have a whole Another name Joseph And then some people call me Joey Joey But like my actual name has a why in it Yeah you're just Danny That's so weird you ever think about the letters In your name or is this like a little too out there

This is very out there Like what the fuck are you talking about Like it's just weird that I have a why In my name Why It's just like I don't know I don't know it's like Like people like have weird names

Like your full name is Joseph You have a pH in your name that you never Acknowledge Yeah I don't talk about it You don't like to talk about it I don't like to talk about it Yeah no The only one that has a name is Keith

Just Keith Yeah Thomas I call him Thomas though I call him Tom I go back and forth A lot of people go A lot of his friends growing up call him Tommy

Oh that's cool So he's got three names too Did you just fart? Yeah farted in the mic I also don't have underwear on so I'm going to have to edit that out Well that also sounded like A bunch of bubbles Yeah I've kind of shit my pants

Yeah Dude that fart Just it sounded like static Like it sounded electric We're at an hour and four minutes I've been holding that in since two minutes So I think it just It evolved from fart to shit

Yeah dude That is the situation It sounded like there was some What's your mom's middle name? My mom's middle name? Yeah Are you going to give your kids middle names? I don't know

I don't know I really don't care I don't know why middle names are a thing I think it's for Like if you're named After your dad Does your dad have the same name? My parents are fucking idiots

Because they named My dad's name is Joseph His middle name begins with a P And so does mine So when I get mail Who's getting what? Until we open it It's a firefighter pension

I never was on the job This one's not mine But I'll take it Me and my dad have the same exact name Down Down to the letter So we have to constantly figure out Whose mail is whose

All the time And on my credit There was a credit card That was put on mine I'm not going to say how much it is owed But I'm just going to say I was like hey man let's figure this out He's breaking your credit now

My dad actually has very good credit Good for you Shout out to my dad's credit I just figure Your dad's middle name is Paul Did you just pull that out of your ass? So you said they both start with P Are you guys both Patrick?

No just me You know what his middle name is? Why are you saying so he's Paul? Like there's only two P names in the entire world Yeah but like Catholic wise Peter His middle name Is Pasquale

No it's not It is His name is Joseph Pasquale Dude It sounds like someone drunk trying to say Squirrel Very Italian Italian names slap the hardest

You can't tell me that they don't I'm going to have to name Like a son Joe I don't want to name my first kid after me though No do what my parents did Just wait till the last one I don't know how many I didn't even handle And you also don't know what's going on

I'm a very boy heavy in my family My brother's having a boy, my sister's having a boy And they're like there's mad boys So Yeah but Well at least the Sannegato name will live on Yeah my My dad's dad

Was Joe I have no idea what his dad's name was I just you know I haven't gone back that far And then You know obviously my dad's Joe and I'm Joe So I'll do a Joe You'll throw a Joe in there just to do it You want a junior? You want a

What is it? The third? The fourth I don't know the rules But yeah but I would never like Make it a thing to call them junior Like I was never a junior I don't think you're technically a junior It has to be the same exact name The same exact name I think

Like I'm technically a junior because we have the same exact name Yeah see like now I would throw a middle name In there just so we wouldn't have the same name Yeah Is this one of those Italian names where it's L Lowercase O and then capital P Yeah It's fire

Sick Slaps Slaps My name's a sentence No it's not Yeah low, priori, priori means like the first Wait you said Yours is a sentence

Well low, priori it's like I think it means like high priest or something like the first It's just make it all No I don't know I remember like my dad had Like this crest This low, priori crest Yeah the family crest Yeah I think it means like high priest or some shit

I don't know Damn you guys are priests I don't know what the fuck we were to be honest Bunch of assholes Santagato you guys went around Giving out people cats Yeah right We were like

The cat people We had a cat church It was a church for cats We had mass and it was just cats in there All You guys prayed the cats Yeah Another fucking terrible

Guy name too besides Guy is I love him to death The name Ralph is terrible Why Ralph Ralph is bad too Ralph?

Yeah that's bad And I don't like Fred Fred Yeah I don't like Fred Fred's kind of ugly like hey it's my son Fred Fred just sounds like a Like when I hear Fred I just think of like Like a brown leather couch

Yeah and I automatically Think if your name is Fred you're stupid Is that bad I don't know Hey what's up Fred I'm like Take it easy on Fred like He's a little stupid Do you have names that remind you of colors

Yeah Abigail reminds me of like Green Really I get purple from Abigail Fred gives me brown Fred gives me red to be honest Really? What about Bernard Brown It's so brown for me

Also Bernard I just feel like it's the name That has so much nose hair Oh yeah yeah yeah Just like Bernard's got it Coming out of his fucking you know There's nothing better than when a name Fully matches the way somebody looks Oh I love that

It's the best It's the best Like an old Bernard and he's just like He lives in like a wood cabin And he's got nose hair Like just long nose hair And he's got a dog that's like Like fucking coax cables

Yeah They're fucking gross Yeah exactly What do you think I look like What your name could be Yeah give me my top 30 Could be names And then I'll do yours

Okay right off the bat like there's a hector in there I don't think it's up high I think it's in there though I think there's a hector in there I don't think it's up high I think you do look like Michael to me also I have a brother named Michael so that's close And I think you also

Have some like Uh Fucking um damn Trying to think of something right now Maybe like a Like a Jorge Okay two Spanish ones Or like Javier-ish

Javier Could be a George Or George I could see that I could see that I got three for you First one that comes off Like Luke Oh god Yeah you could be a Luke

Can you imagine how much more I would suck if my name was Luke Oh you'd be such a fucking douche Oh god I would be playing Like So much cornhole and shit I get a Luke vibe I also get Like a small

Dennis Vibe I'm Dennis-y? Like you could be Dennis Like your name could be Dennis Dennis And also like another one That I get from you is like

You're like one Shade of Eyes being blue from like A Tyler Oh god please no You could be a Tyler If your eyes were a little bluer Yeah

Luke What color is Luke for you What color do you think of when you hear Luke I think of like a turquoise Wait wait wait wait I need to look up turquoise I do but I don't I get it mixed up with

Oh no Isn't this in like teal the same thing Yeah basically Alright good cause I thought I got the mixed up But yo close which is weird Because when I hear Luke I think of like a baby blue Yeah yeah yeah like there's something Bluish about that name

That's so weird that names have colors Yeah What do you think what does Danny say Yellow Nice It's like a vibrant name I get Joe it's like a It's like a crimson

Garnet Joe is like an earth tone it's very like Yeah it's like a Garnet it's like a dark As dark as red as you could be probably Yeah I don't Like I don't think it's like a maroon No no no no

And I don't think it's that dark I think it's like a light Like it's like it's not beige It's not great It's not a great color I don't get a good color from that You think Joe's a nice name It's a doable name It's not you know it's not

It's not gonna make you Turn you head No I don't know you're not gonna go crazy No it's just like oh Joe And I go okay Alright I'm gonna throw out some names Speed round here don't fuck it up I just need like a beat

And then I'll get the color go ahead Alright uh Susan Uh Pinkish red Alright alright April Uh that's blue Okay But like on a lighter side like an indigo

Or a red target Scott Scott is white Scott's white It's just white Like regular Just like white yeah just like a plain white Okay Patrick

Green Alexandra Ooh like a magenta What color is magenta like purple Yeah like a light purple Like a light purple that's a good color That's a good color Alright uh I'm gonna give you three more okay

So I wanna give you a little time to like get them Elizabeth Elizabeth I get like a pink white Huh I get like a pinkish white You know what's crazy like when you said Elizabeth I got two colors

Okay I got green and white Oh That's so weird Dude this is like kind of blowing my mind I wish I was making this up but like when you say the names Things just go off in my head and I have colors I never knew that I had this

This is so weird Like it started as a joke but now I'm like There's fucking colors to these names I love that you just said this like you're like a medium Or like you have some like connection I'm so crazy that I have this skill I never knew I had this Oh my god

Alright what about like people in the office Alright what about Josh Josh might actually be A red name Okay what about Frankie Frank The just Frankie Frankie

I would say it's like a It's brownish But like I also get it like an orange feel there There's some orange There's some orange in there. Alright what about Diane Diane's brown Diane's brown That's my mom's name she's also brown

Okay so that's good He passed He has powers The kid has powers I can't believe that I have this I'm gonna probably do this all day now Like I'm gonna bounce this off of people for sure Yeah see if they have

Like color This is kind of weird But like sometimes I could like Put colors to emotions Like if you're feeling Blue? Yeah like I think that comes from something Like I'm very influenced by colors

Like Aesthetically Like colors influence me a lot Yeah I mean that's why like You know we talk about the warm lighting And the overhead lights like I can't have overhead lights And have this blinding The fuck is it?

Blinding This blinding fucking like White Like I'm in a doctor's office Like I need warm like orangey and like cozy That's what I'm saying it's like There's a reason why walls are a color Danny Lofiore everybody

Thank you guys that's my time goodnight Oh let's get to these hats Yeah let's get to these hats I don't know I just feel like I feel like colors Like I'll get dressed And by the way like what I'm wearing Like subconsciously I feel like my mood Dressed me that way

Yeah I think that's a very real thing I don't think like you know There's like mood dressing Yeah like a mood ring Do you believe in mood rings? I did for a short period of time and then My dad debunked it for me Why he like put it in the microwave and he's like see

Yeah he was just like yeah it's like A temperature thing or like it's just Random and I was just like I'm fucking sad Do you remember when I remember I told my dad I was like my mood rings Like this and he's like what the fuck are you talking about Yeah dude Let's get out of mood ring

I did I saved up for it too You bought it with your own money? No I saved up fucking tokens From a fucking And then you bought a mood ring I literally went to an arcade and said Today's the day I'm gonna get this goddamn mood ring

And I played so much goddamn ski ball Yeah oh I love ski ball Yeah dude when you get that 100 All the way at the tippy top I lose it In the corner Oh my god I love that shit Are you good bowler?

Fucking no I'm like very okay Like that's something I want to do Like when the world goes back to being normal Are you good at bowling? Yes Like what do you Usually bowl Not like heyday

But like what can you bowl In my heyday when I used to bowl all the time It would be like 190 to like low 200s Like nothing crazy But like I remember I was just very consistent There was a period where I was

Consistently in the twos Yeah like I will I am not consistent whatsoever When I'm like on I can bowl like a 160 Yeah And when I'm off boys bowling 96 I mean dude I haven't bowled in like

Five years but there was a period Where this place home field bowl Where I grew up would have like Buy one game get one free So we could just go bowl all the time And I became filthy Yeah and before we wrap up here Let's make these shoes a little cooler

Yeah Like put some fucking lights in them or some shit Or like do they make them I heard that they make them that way so people don't steal them Yeah of course because Everyone's gonna know you stole But I mean wait until that bowling shoe comes back In style

I'm gonna wear that around the office Then everyone's gonna steal that look from me Yes Yes Yes Hey Danny where can they find you At DanielaPriori on Instagram and Twitter And also on OnlyFans

OnlyFans.com slash DanielaPriori I will be posting some Q&As on there with some fans Also just doing some like Other sketches and a lot of like Rap music type shit on there Sweet You guys can find me At Joe Santagato on all social media

And go check out our show on Instagram At the basement yard we post clips and whatnot from there And our Patreon At the basement yard if you sign up You get every episode a week early And daily content from me and Danny That's up there Also

Fucking also I am making a return To Twitch This is gonna come out and I'll probably already Have streamed But if you go to twitch.tv Slash Joe Santagato And follow that

You'll get a notification Mostly I'm just gonna use it just to like Be live streaming and just interact And stay engaged with everyone in the Thing and like sometimes play like Video games like Keith or whatever But yeah, so go check that out And again, these

The tie-dye drop with these And some other stuff that I have That's gonna be coming out on July 1st On theSantagatoStore.com So be ready for that and that is all See you guys next time Thanks for watching