The Basement Yard - #249 - Brotherhood Of The Traveling Pants

Episode Date: July 6, 2020

On this episode, we discuss The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, the Loch Ness Monster and if Ebenezer Scrooge lived in Queens. Enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Guys go check out our patreon where you can get our daily morning show and next week's episode today Welcome back to the basement. You are oh No, no, no, I just had you know a bit of allergies or some little allergies Yeah, I've had like a post nasal drip for the last four days. I just been clicking my throat. Have you ever done that? Yeah, dude, I try to itch my throat by like smashing my ears. Oh, it's the worst. I'm just constantly Yeah, I don't know what to do. I have to feel like a like that's how like Baby chickens eat they just go like And I try to do that the worst feeling in the world. It's been the last three fucking days

I'm driving myself crazy doing this. I just want to swallow a set of keys so I could like itch my throat Oh, it's killing me. You ever move your Adam's apple back and forth and then like clicks Whoa, oh Whoa, that's scary. Yeah, if you move it side to side. It's a weird sensation Can you dislocate your throat? Yeah, for sure, probably I have no idea Dislocated larynx just cut to the chase. I don't want to I don't want to do the small talk anymore I want to talk about the Loch Ness monster. Yeah. Yeah, okay

Because apparently the Loch Ness monster if you guys don't know is like this mythical creature that somehow people are getting pictures of And it's the size of like a continent and it was in Ireland or some shit But now we see new pictures of it a path maybe they could be doctored I'm gonna The way this year is going I have to say it's real I have to No, the way this year is going It's gonna have to it'll crawl out onto land and eat a couple people The only thing that can cap off this year the way it's supposed to is that if a bunch of aliens came and tried to take over

I almost said take over America, but take over the world Yeah, I mean I at this point we could use an alien or something if someone help us if aliens were gonna take over the world I wouldn't start in America. I'd start like in like Guatemala or something like something small You know, I mean take that over. Don't just go for the big kahuna No, I mean, I think I mean I think you go right to China because they got the most people or India Do they you know I'm saying convert all them Yeah, cuz I'm pretty sure aliens could just like convert people into aliens like shoot you would have gone and now you're you're like an Indian alien that'd be dope to be an alien for like a day just to see how like they work

No, I'd be too scared to get in those ships No, but don't they travel like light speed and shit. Yeah, why the fuck would I want to do that, dude? I'm afraid to go on like regular planes. We're going 600 miles an hour These ones are traveling like in an instant. They're in another galaxy. I don't I don't want to go that fast But maybe it travels so fast that you don't feel anything like the like the earth's a rotation I don't know. They're gonna have to knock me out to get me on that ship, dude Not doing that. Aren't there people that believe that the world doesn't spin Here's what I'll say about the world and like all the theories flat earth or you know the spinning or whatever

I don't really give a shit at all. I I could I I really couldn't care less but like don't they say if the earth like skipped Like one rotation like all of us would die. I Don't know I mean I like I just don't look into that because it's like what am I gonna do with the information Like the people who are like all the earth is flat flat earth. Vova. It's like what if people were just like, yep It's flat then you go, okay What would change? It's one of the

It's just weird that people still believe in that if when we have pictures of it, but like the thing that creeps me out the most just to go back to a lot in this monster is that We don't know anything about the ocean like percentage wise so why can't so I can't this lock this monster be real Or maybe it's just like his brother like lock Jess No, because oh like a woman. Yeah Nice, maybe a female counterpart Yeah, she's probably hot lock Jess. I'm sure there's a girl out there who's got like a long neck and they call her lock Jess monster 100% there's no if they don't now they do

You kind of have a long neck Whoa. No, I got a thick neck. It's it's thick and long. It's just what everybody wants. Yeah Everybody wants length and girth. Keith just has a long neck. Keith's got a fucking accordion for a neck He has like a Marlboro light for neck No, but you know the locked this monster, so here's the thing I wanted to tell you right Just blow your mind real quick. I mean, I don't know where I saw this it could have been Instagram or something I don't know but Apparently we've been finding mad oceans underneath the ocean

Okay, I have one question first one. How's that a possible thing? Because the ocean stops Where you know like it's because bro. It's not ocean like if I jump into the Pacific and I swim all the way down and I just you know, I could survive and hold my breath for 18 years I'm not just gonna swim and then pop my head out in the ocean in Australia. Hey You know, no, I know that but where you go towards the earth's core So there's like it becomes land This is the dumbest way to explain this

But like the ocean has a cap to it is my point like there's a floor Okay, and now believe that floor where there's now rock. Uh-huh go past that and Then you get more ocean So we got layers of Osh And and on top of that right on top of what on top of the ocean. No, no, no forget about that I meant like on top like oh, oh, oh, sorry the the there's like 30 times more water in these like

Undercover oceans then on the surface of the earth All right, so but the but it's so hot Like it's hot as shit because it's near the core of the earth core of the earth. It's very hot There's like, you know magma and shit How do we figure that out without going there? Instagram I Don't know man. It could have been fake but I've seen it But how do we know the middle of the earth is hot if we've never been there?

Because I I mean you where does this lava come from? The earth You know I'm saying it does don't that oh, this is gonna sound dumb, but don't they say like rocks are like Had it like you ever look at a rock and go like how did this rock get here? Like what is rock a rock has no arms no legs and then if I walk outside I could see like a big-ass rock and I'm like how the fuck did this rock get here? I've never just been walking around Queens me like this is a giant boulder. You've never walked around just saw a rock I mean, I mean, I've seen many I've seen many a rock. That's what I'm saying

It's just like I wonder what the journey was because like you ever kick the rock all the way home Yeah, what I'm sad. Yeah, that's what I'm That's what I'm saying somebody had to make a journey with this rock and they pass the rock along It's like when people put those where is this George been on those dollar bills? Oh You're saying the story of the rock. Yes. I want the rocks backstory You want to know where this rock was birthed? Yes, that's a that's actually a cool thing to think about you go outside You see a rock and you're like alright, so maybe this rock wasn't formed here But where did it come from did it get kicked did a car kick it here?

That's what I'm saying or did a kid bring it back from a vacation drop it I told you one time a girl. I liked got me a rock a pet rock No, no, no, she went on vacation, right? I think she went to Greece this girl that I liked at the time and She's like, oh, I got you something right and now I'm thinking tits, right? Yeah So how old are you guys? 1617 all right. Yeah, so she could have grown tits over the summer. Oh, no, she had But so she I was like, you know 16 and just being like an idiot, you know

I was kind of thinking something like whatever. I honestly thought it was gonna be something like oh I got like this lingerie. I don't know but You know, that's just being a horny 16 year old who discovered his dick not too long ago. Yeah, you know So she comes back and she got me a rock that's in the shape of a heart. Oh you found on the beach Yeah, and it was really cute, but you know, it wasn't no tit see. Where is that rock now? I have no idea. I kept it in in a desk at my mom's house When I when I when she gave it to me and then God, I don't even know where that fucking desk is let along the rock See what I'm saying like that rock. Maybe somebody else has found that rock

And they gave it to their lover. Yeah, and now there's just a history of love. That's what I'm saying It's like sisterhood of the traveling pants. It's just a traveling rock. I never understood the sisterhood of traveling pants How did all those bitches fit in the same pair of pants? I didn't even see that movie, but I heard it was sad, but I was like, I'm not trying to watch this movie about pants. I Think it was a book to imagine reading a book about pants Well, I mean, I think it's less about pants and I feel like someone gets sick I think somebody I think somebody I think somebody dies in the pants I don't know like hey guys

We should all wear these pants and then I think they all go to like different countries or some shit and they all get pants Yeah, and they all like fuck different guys in these pants. I it's something along those lines of weird pants shit Hold on. I gotta lose up sisterhood of the traveling pants Okay, 2005 all right good year for pants. I mean, yeah, it was a great pant year great pant year teenagers From Maryland who have been best friends their whole lives the girls are about to spend their first summer apart This girl's going to visit her grandparents in Greece up there is a soccer camp in California This one's going to South Carolina and Tibby staying home while shopping together

The girls find a pair of jeans that inexplicably fits them all perfectly The girls decide to share the jeans dubbing them the traveling pants equally over the summer before parting the next day This is just a pal pants first of all fucking disgusting that four people are sharing a pair of pants If you're going this if you're going the soccer camp in Greece You could probably afford your own fucking pair of pants. You also are not gonna wear Pants in Greece at soccer camp. That's what I'm saying with pants Yeah, I would have given the tibbe's ass because obviously she couldn't afford to go anywhere that summer She needs the pants more than anyone. Yeah, give it a four. Give it a Tabitha. Yeah, get it to her

What the fuck Okay, what was what would the male version be? It's the the brotherhood of the the traveling socks Nah Something something a little flashier sisterhood of the traveling I Mean it would be a brother. That's true. That's the first mistake. I mean brotherhood of the traveling pants

Hoodie hoodie. Yeah, hoodie. It would be a hoodie Which is like something that probably happens I'll tell you this right now if we went shopping together and we found a pair of pants that fit us both miraculously We could just buy two pairs of pants. That's what I'm saying I'd be like hey these pants look great on you and me Why don't we just get our own pair of pants which we've done and what do they do? Do they mail these pants to each other from fucking grease is the UPS involved in this pants sisterhood? Yeah, it's like hey, what's up pants are in the mail in 2005?

It probably took you nine months to get those fucking pants. Yeah, you know how much it cost to ship something in a grease This is some expensive pants should just it probably cost more to ship it from grease Than it was for the actual pants. I want to see these pants. I Want to say I gotta get a look at these pants man. Are they even worth? Sending sister. Oh my god. They made a second one. They got another pair of pants. Yeah, they got two It's like hey guys, what if we did another one where we bought another pair of pants Blake Lively's in this fucking thing. Yeah. Oh wait. No, this is a third pant There's three pants

Sisterhood of the traveling pants three What's that one called revenge of the revenge of the pants pants? No, it's just sisterhood of the traveling pants three. They're all in it No, no, no, no, no. It has to be different cast. I'm on 17.com 17.com Sisterhood of the traveling pants, man Do you think after because this was a pretty popular movie? I feel like a lot of people liked it Do you think people started sharing pants 100%?

Do you want to share pants? Do you want to we should guys share shirts? Yeah, we could share shirts our pants aren't gonna match. Yeah, they're not gonna It's you would never be able to fit my pant and I would have to you know tie your pant did with a shirt I'm like a 36 waist you're like sitting around what 33 Yeah, like 32 33. Yes, you know, that's four inch But we but you could like get away with a large shirt like a brand-new large shirt. Yeah Yeah, now I now I can I could probably see slim down. I just think it's too large. This is a 2x tie-dye Santa-Gato studios exclusive

Feel exclusive, but I like tie-dye to be a little baggy it matches it matches like the the aesthetic Aesthetic the esthese the esthese, but yeah girl. I think I know for a fact that girls like shared pants What I know for a fact that girls actually shared pants Girls used to share weird stuff back in the day. Remember when lip gloss was like currency. Yes Like girls like had lip gloss and their lips were shining 24-7 like in the 90s. I had the early 2000s I had to test it out. I said I need to know what's up with this gloss and mine had glitter in it and strawberry flavors Yeah, dude lip gloss was fucking taste it was like candy Honestly, like I think that's why girls loved it so much and like lip gloss it just came out my lip gloss be cool

My lip gloss be poppin and girls were just painting their lips with this stuff and it smelled like candy So I was like, yeah, let me drink some of your gloss. Yeah, no, I put it on my lips. I want the porter. I want to PE and I look like a Puerto Rican slut. It was fire Yeah, dude, you ever put on some girls lip gloss, but you didn't know that it had that like Fire in it like to the what's it called like the pumper it like pump makes your lips bigger. No, I've never I haven't crossed out of my Lip gloss travels Listen sisterhood of the traveling pump or I'm telling you right now this girl I was like, I'll let you know let me get some of that lip gloss

So I put a little bit on my finger because you know, I wasn't out here using people's brushes or whatever the fuck those things are called So I put it on and she goes. Oh, by the way, it's got like lip pump It's got lip pumper in it and I was like, oh, yeah, whatever that I don't know what that means Dude, my lips were on fire It's like, hey, I got this lip gloss that gives you like a slight allergic reaction. It's fucking awesome Yeah, hey, this is lip gloss Tabasco flavored and it's gonna get into your little cuts in your fucking lips And it did and it burned dude. I

I never once take for granted that the fact that I could just roll out of bed and go outside and not have to worry about like my face or anything Like imagine cuz like imagine like it's like, yeah, you have to put makeup on every day imagine we put makeup on every day No, I'm a lazy girl. I'm a lazy girl, too. I think girls with no makeup is way hotter than girls with makeup. I Don't I don't always feel that to be true. I think like I Do think it's unnecessary to always wear makeup I think you should wear makeup the same way that you wear jeans, you know, like quarantine like why would we wear it? You know, I haven't put on jeans and God knows how long but if I'm gonna go out somewhere

And I got to put on jeans like all right, then you know, we'll get ready You know, but to get up because I know there's like layers to makeup where it's like, you know This is my going out makeup. This is my sweet 16 makeup And then this is just you know a normal day foundation on the face with the stuff or not nothing too crazy makeup But I feel like you could just go out and just you know But like I would I would always just feel like I'm not myself, you know what I'm saying I'm just like, hey, let me cover this. I'm just like, yeah, just let me you know You look great with your regular face like let's just check out that reg face. Let's reg face it up

Reg face. I want your reg face Yeah, I don't think it's that different. I mean, I just you know, I Don't there are people out there that are just very talented with makeup and can make their face just look Completely different, but I don't think that's the majority. I think the majority of women like just put you know, just like enough, I Don't know what the fuck are you talking about? I'm saying like some people like you go on Instagram sometimes and it's like, oh, no I know I know about the people being talented, but that was like the biggest run-on sentence. I've ever heard she's

No, I'm saying like, you know, I think the majority of girls don't look different like not different But like insanely like wall I need to see your actual actual face Like I think for the most part like with or without makeup like girls look this same like similar, right? But because like it's a social norm like if I just started wearing lipstick on the show You're not just gonna be like, oh Danny has lipstick on today. You're like what the fuck's going on But if you started wearing lipstick every single show by the 15th show, I'm just not even gonna address it Right, right, you know, but that's what I'm saying if you just reg face all the time Like everyone's just gonna be like, cool reg face reg face. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's just the whole concept of makeup like I'm so like

Hit or miss on it. I don't know and dudes used to wear makeup and when do we stop doing that? You know, they started powder in their faces. They had blush. They had we had wigs. We had, you know You know buckles on our shoes and shit weird shit I love how those guys dressed up like basically in drag and they were like the most homophobic people like on earth Imagine imagine some dude in a powdered wig and makeup all over his face is coming up to you and just being like You're so gay. Yeah, I'm so confused right now It was socially acceptable to just dress up like your grandma every day You know why you know and they made decisions they made huge decisions in the government these people sign the Constitution

Dresses Mrs. Doubtfire. That's what they did And we still honor that Constitution which makes no sense Yeah, man, the Constitution, you know, the president gets every four years and then they reevaluate I think the Constitution should be reviewed like every four years I don't know. There's a there's amendments in there. Don't make any sense. Oh, I know is that Men used to wear makeup back in the day because they had mad syphilis Yeah, and then did doesn't like syphilis like rot your asshole and your brain out or some shit I think he just like turns your dick inside out. What did Al Capone have where like he just like lost his mind from it syphilis

I think Yeah, it's syphilis. Yeah, I think syphilis rots your brain. I Don't I mean Dude, I don't care. I don't care how hot anyone is if it's gonna rot my brain gonna pass No in 2020 syphilis is not bad. So it was like syphilis like the polio of STDs Polio is terrible. That's what I'm saying like But we have a back syphilis was running ramp. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. We have a vaccine now You know what? I mean syphilis was putting boys in the ground

I think he got anything caught up to Benjamin Franklin that guy used to fuck heavy. Yeah Probably saying probably had some kind of syphilis. I think he did have it Syphilis I'll never be able to spell it right. So if I think it's you know, s Y PHILIS, I think but Benjamin Franklin, I think of you know, I'm saying I think of bifocals And I think of syphilis, you know, I didn't Benjamin didn't he get struck by lightning too Right wasn't that him That was him, right

I Know he did not get struck by lightning Benjamin Franklin struck by lightning. I think I'm right, dude Dude, that's not it's the kite experiment Franklin's experiment demonstrated a connection between lightning electricity to dispel another myth Franklin's kite was not struck by lightning. So he wasn't struck by lightning So how the fuck did he figure it out if he didn't get struck by lightning this guy's full of shit? I don't know man That's so funny that you think he got struck by lightning

flies a Think about if someone people were dying from syphilis you think someone gets struck by lightning and would survive back then Knowing people back then yes, they would because I feel like these people survived They had children during these times and the kids would live. I don't know how that works 30 Yeah, they all died like at 30 from like diarrhea like you got diarrhea and it was like up Well, my time's running out here. I get diarrhea like on purpose, dude The other night I got cold stone and I knew what was about to happen and I was up at 2 a.m Just letting it go. How old do you think Benjamin Franklin was when he died?

32 try 84 years old and he died in 1790 Guy made it, huh guy made it. He was one of the only ones. Yeah How 32 how old do you think John Adams was when he died? He was born in 1935 1735 excuse me He is still alive 40 90 years old Wow

Fucking debunked now Abraham Lincoln was syphilis there Abraham Lincoln was 56, but we all know what happened there You know Abe that wasn't his fault. He took care of his body. He was actually a very strong. He was a good wrestler Yeah, yeah, he was like a like a weird lumberjack wrestler, man Yeah, now how old do you think how old do you think Thomas Edison was he died in 1931? So I was kind of he was old as fuck. He was 84. Yeah. Yeah, he was an old guy And isn't there like like an argument that like he didn't create the light bulb or some shit Man, this is really not I have no idea, dude

You know, I think electricity. I think of Thomas Edison. So I think he what he did was invented the light bulb Yeah, he yeah, yeah That yeah, and that's it and Albert Einstein was 76 Not a president. I just wanted to know how old he was he died in 1955 Who Ed? Yeah What do you just called him Ed? Well Ed was a good guy fucking terrible hair though Yeah, I guys gotta do something about that. He's in here because his hair was crazy Yeah, but uh sister heard of the traveling pants. I know for a fact that girls did it because they did it in my school

Used to swap pants. They used to swap pants. Now. I'm just gonna go out on a limb here. This is the whitest fucking movie ever Uh This is probably one of the most tone deaf dumb fucking things I've ever seen in my life And 2005 was way simpler times like we were way dumber back then I just think as like a like a like a as a society But if you're gonna tell me that america ferrara Blake lively fit into the same size pants guys I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid. Come on man You know what? I mean that'd be like me and fucking joe like wearing the same size underwear like I could pack it in there

But i'm gonna be busting out the seams Yeah, it's gonna hurt. It's gonna constrict the the blood flow to the rest of the thigh. Oh, yeah You ever get a tight pair of underwear around your thighs and you're like my my dogs are barking Dude, that happens to me sometimes. Yeah, and like I said, what's been happening with me is like I've been laying down, but like I'll put my head like this And then I'll be like I wonder why like I can't breathe I'm like dude because your neck is full to like an accordion you fucking idiot like stretch your neck out Wait, why do you sit like this because like if I'm on like if I'm on

Like the laptop it's sitting on my stomach So like I'm just like alligator typing. I'm like dinosaur typing and then I'm like, oh my neck Why does my throat feel like that? You know, I'm a hypochondriac So I'm just like, oh my god, something's wrong with my neck and then I just go like this. I'm like, oh never mind Yo, do you think Like do you ever have that thing where you swallow and it like feels weird in your throat Yeah, or like for like a whole day and you start freaking out and like googling and you're like, yo What the fuck is going on with me? You ever swallow and you think your adam's apple is like gone forever for some reason

Like it like sits underneath your shit I don't know the medical terms larynx That those are in there your thyroid I don't know I think it's your thyroid or something. I don't know I think it's your thyroid I think it's your thyroid. Sweet. Your thyroid's acting up. I think your thyroid's having it Um, all right. So next week this episode is gonna come out

And I think it's gonna be like July 1st through 3rd. I don't know what any day is anymore Joe just tells me you want to get up and start rolling the camera and I just do that so We're we're a half year in And if you remember before all this, you know, coronavirus We had a list of goals We had a list of new year's resolutions. So halfway through the year I think it's a good time to check in and see how we're doing with some of these

All right, but before we do that Daddy's got to keep the lights on We gotta get to the ads Let's get to these ads real quick and then we're gonna go over how horribly we haven't followed any of our new year's resolutions There's something we've done some Yeah, we'll see we'll see first up. We have stamps.com which brings all the amazing services of the u.s Postal service right to your computer in the safety and comfort of your own home. Okay open 24 7 You can get you can print official u.s. Postage for any letter any package or any class of mail anywhere you want to send it

And stamps.com you get great discounts to five cents off every first class stamp and up to 62 percent off Shipping rates. Okay, so not only are are you saving time? But also you're saving money by using stamps.com and right now our listeners will get a special offer that includes a four-week trial Plus free postage and a digital scale without any long-term commitment Just go to stamps.com click on the microphone at the top of the home page and type in basement That is stamps.com click on the microphone on the top of the home page and type in basement For the four-week trial and free postage and digital scale. Okay Next we have simply safe

which is a Home security system. My oldest brother has simply safe. I have simply safe It's great. They have you know They have cameras so you like our doorbell thing. So we whenever approaches your house you can see who it is It just keeps your your family home. Okay. It was designed to be easy To use while protecting your home 24 7 You can order online with the click of a button open the box You know you place your sensors because they have different things you could buy like

Window sensors so when windows go up there's like another thing that goes off You don't need a technician or salesperson to come and like, you know disrupt your house or anything And it's very simple. Okay. It was actually named best overall home security of 2020 So Yeah, go check out simply safe at simply safe.com slash basement and get free shipping and a 60 day money back guarantee Simply save spelled s i m p l i s a f e dot com slash basement To make your home safe. All right hot and Lastly here we have better help and better help

um Is basically, you know an online therapist. Okay, they are committed to Facilitating great therapeutic matches so they can make easy and free to change counselors if needed So you can you get counselors or therapists or whatever you want to call them Through better help they'll connect you and you can start chatting in under 24 hours and if you want and sorry under 48 hours and uh switching Counselors is very easy and they have a bunch of licensed professionals that deal with Specialties in relationships or depression or things like that

So go check it out if you're looking to you know start talking to someone and you think you'd benefit from therapy Then check out better help and right now visit better help dot com slash yard That's b e t t e r h e l p Dot com slash yard and join over the one million people taking charge of their mental health With the help of an experienced professional Again, that is better help dot com slash yard and with that you get 10 off of your first month Okay, so 10 off your first month better help dot com slash yard um

So yeah, all right Danny, yeah Where are we okay, so let's go one by one though. Yeah, we yeah, yeah We're gonna go one by one and just talk about you know Obviously corona's had an impact on a good amount of these but some of these we could still probably do So okay, some of them have been knocked off. All right. I'm gonna start with the first one Has it been knocked off this one obviously because of corona uh volunteer at a soup kitchen um

Okay, we haven't done that uh Hopefully like I haven't done that. I don't think I'm gonna go to any soup kitchen anytime soon especially down here. No way. No way, Jose Yeah, no Not now with the run-ins. I've had with homeless this year. Yeah, you're not really That's what I forget about that. Danny doesn't have good experience with homeless people I know I have a pretty good relationship with the homeless community Um, not that I have a good relationship. Just not a bad one like Danny does no kind of in their back races They have they have a thing out for him

You know, he's he's unwanted homeless wanted posters everywhere because of his actions Dude, it's like the homeless Avengers and I'm like Thanos like they're like they're all planning to come get me somehow They're gonna get you they are gonna get you Um All right, so we didn't do the soup kitchen. We still got time for that if the world returns to like a normal thing I don't want my hands are up like this, but if they come back, you know, like I'll I'll I'll do it I'll I'll get after that one. Okay Pet a tiger or lion. I pet a tiger

I didn't do any of that. I can't get a tiger. Well, you can figure it out. But yes, so that's one I was able to pet a tiger. I think that I think we're doing this as a collective So it's like if one of us does it it works I mean, I watch tiger king that kind of counts that kind of a lot of tiger content during that era Yeah, we learned way more about tigers than I thought we would ever learn about tigers Um, this one go to disney in 2020. I'm still holding out a little bit of hope for this I'm down here. I could possibly maybe get in the disney even if it's not open. I'll find a way in there um, we should have a

Like a grace period of like we're on four months on lockdown. So we should have four extra months So I think it should be until April 2021 that You know, whatever and speaking of disney actually I just found out that they have a half marathon and marathon and you run through all the parks Whoa And that would be dope to do because you know the joey loves that disney So if I need any more incentive to run one

There you go. Uh, the other one was starter own candle company. We're still at the ground level on this one Yeah, we still we're still uh, we're still kind of playing it out. We're testing scents right now. So like that one's like like, uh We don't we have different noses. We we can't agree on scents right now. Right, right. That one's buffering I'll just say that one's buffering Play an old man in chess. Uh, I'm pretty sure all old people have died Uh, because because corona is fucking terrible and I know that's a joke, but I'm serious So like old people aren't allowed outside at all. So yeah, they can't play chat I mean, they're playing chess, but you know indoors

Indoor somewhere. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Uh Help an old pair what I was gonna say. Why would you why did you want to play chess against an old man? I have no I have no idea But it's on here and I thought that at some point because if you play an old man in chess You're not just playing chess You're gaining knowledge and wisdom about this old fuck. You know what I mean? And he's gonna like give you all this shit like hey, this is what it was like in my time

And I'm like cool make a fucking move though because if we were playing a timed game of chess We'd be both timed out right now. You old fuck. So like it's like, you know, let's let's play, but it's not about the playing It's about the I want a guy in a paperboy hat to school me on life. That's all I want Dude, I think some guy would fucking smoke you in chess 100 percent some old bitch out there was just gonna smoke you It's just working you Joe There's eight year old boys that could beat me in chess Yeah, so like, you know, it's I'm an okay chess player But there's like savants out there who are like six years old and would just check me the three moves

And I just want to say this if you're like 13 And I just an amazing chess player and like whatever Just pick up a basketball dude Just pick it up. There's no money in chess Get a couple free throws in will you? Jesus Yes, I think all kids should do some kind of athletics Yes, because I think it's one one it's it's good for their health and two it helped build

social Skills and strengths that you don't know you you might have not known you ever had unless you stayed home playing fucking chess Against fucking chim lee all day and you guys are hanging out Hey, that's racist. No, it's not. I think some of the best, uh Chess players in the world are asian. I'm just giving them a respect. We respect it too And I think you're confusing that with piano No, that's racist. Yeah I

Now asian people are very good at like games You know what it is. I think that like asian culture Teaches their children to be so they're so disciplined. So it's like They when they pick up a thing. It's like they're filthy yet I just I just love that we went from being racist to totally complimentary like three seconds later I mean it was a joke Obviously, but I'm just saying a lot of asian kids are very good at chess. It's just look at them

It's just look at the numbers. There's nothing racist about that Yeah, I want to say this too Why are all the indian kids good at the spelling bee? Because that's another culture that I think that's that's what I'm saying It's cultural for them to be to be very good at these things Yeah, I want to say this. All right. I am going to officially Be on the side of disagreeing with a with an asian stereotype. Which one? The driving one

I know plenty of asians that are just perfectly fine at driving cars I have never I don't think I've ever seen an asian person in an accident and I I've seen many asians Yeah, there's a lot of asians and queens. I think that's bullshit. It's not even clever to me Like I don't get how it's a joke I've never even seen it. It has to come from somewhere though I've seen more It's mostly old people

Right when I see a guy going to And I drive up next to him I'm like you are so lucky that you were old enough that I'm afraid to hit my horn My horn because I don't want to cause a heart attack over there and you die behind the wheel Because I would be laying into this man But it's usually some guy who's like looks like he's 907 years old But it's never just like an asian guy just being like I don't you know, I think it's not I think an old

Person driving a car is one of the cutest things I've ever seen Yeah, when they drive with two hands Yeah, dude old people basically sit on the steering wheel by the way Oh my mom even my mom is fucking In on the steering wheel. Yeah, I think if you were born before like 1970 you driving your chest on the wheel Dude, it's insane. Like if I drive my mom's car, I have to hit that button to like move the seat back like For like five minutes and that's oh, that's another gripe. I have a cars too old cars You hit the button it goes back super fast

This lean like this slow fucking wait for the car to go all the way back. We got to speed that up Also, can we just put that button? In the same spot in all these cars every time I get into a car I'm like, where's the fucking and there's like no, it's on the door underneath. It's underneath. It should be on the side It is the worst put it in the same spot Another thing too same thing. Where's the e-brake thing like the uh, the pull brake I don't know how to pop the gas tank. I don't know how to do all this stuff No, I mean the e-brake is next to the gear

Not at all, man Is it not no and suv is on the side. You gotta go like Really? Yeah, you gotta go I use I use that sometimes for fun. The best is when you drive With your e-brake on for like a good amount of time and you're trying that and you just hear I'm like, what is happening? Oh, I'm an idiot or also. I'm just like my car's so slow today Yeah, fucking beating the shit out of my brake. My car's just having a bad day. I don't know what's going on. It's a bad car day Not running well

So, yeah, uh, help an old person. Maybe you could help them like drive faster. Maybe that's another one. Yeah, maybe Uh, break a world record I have I think I need to go for this one by stacking the cars on my ass. That was the one I was gonna do You have to just buy a bunch of cars though. Yeah, I'm gonna go on amazon Literally like right after the show and yeah I buy a bunch of hot wheels and stack them on my ass and put it on the baseman yard instagram And then break a world record live on instagram You know, I used to play with hot wheels and pretend that my fingers were people I used to do that too

Like I would just I would walk up to cars like oh and then get in the car And then drive it around I used to make them run and jump off of like mountains Yeah Do you want to hear a sick thing I used to do as a kid when I was a child I used to sit in the back seat and you know how like the door handle has like it feels like a It feels like this, you know, it's like a game Like a joystick and I used to Pretend to point at other cars and blow them up

Oh with your with your hand with my mind. Yeah, and like press a button and be like Blow up everything see I feel like that's very normal for some reason I have this weird thing when I put my hand out the window I have to go Underneath the car and then back I have to look I have to go around them. I don't know what that is Yeah, I just want to fly but like I can't get hit by a car. So I'm like, yeah Yeah Also, like when I put my hand out the window, I just love doing this

Oh, yeah catching it and just throwing this out like check this out Skush Just rip your whole arm back like that and then making your hand like this. You're like air. No dynamic I love that. That's one of my favorite things to do. Uh, why does everyone do that pain each other's faces? I mean We could still paint each other 100% gonna be able to paint each other's faces. I gotta come back to new york Yeah, we got I mean and what are we gonna do the first time we hang out other than paint each other's face Yeah, we don't really have anything else to do at that point. Yes. Let's just paint. Yeah, we're gonna paint each other's faces We've done bob ross now. We're gonna bob ross each other's faces

But you could paint whatever you want on that person's face and they have to wear it for 24 hours I'm not gonna agree to that. All right 12 I All right Get another tattoo. I got another tattoo Yeah, you got copious. I got copious Amounts copious amounts of tattoos. Uh, I have one two three four now I would like to get another one. I think you're safe enough to get one. They're open

No, it's I just don't you know the one I have in my mind that I want to do I would have to design Or have to find something to like force someone to design I don't know She got a new tattoo. Uh, I just don't want you know what it is I don't want anyone. I know to design it. Is that weird? No Go check out an artist and have them do it No, but not even that like if I if I knew someone who was like a tat like a tattoo art Not actually if they were a tattoo artist, that's different

But if they were just good at drawing I wouldn't want someone that I know to do my tattoo because then when they see it they're like, oh, I did that I'm like, uh Like I don't want someone to be respite Is that stupid? No, no, I hear you're saying like you wouldn't want someone to be like, yo Yo, it's cool tattoo. I you see his tattoo. I did it. It's like, all right It's first of all, it's my tattoo now. You just took credit for my tattoo. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't want that But so I got to find a stranger who can draw. Yeah, dude instagram

You'll find a bunch of people ready to draw for you But yeah, all right, so I got that so we can check that one off ride a tandem bike this one needs to be done I saw a tandem bike the other day only one of us has to do it But we should do that one together I was on a bike and a tandem bike drove past me and I just went tandem And then they started laughing because I was blown away tandem bikes harder to ride than you think I know I think they're impossible right very difficult. It's cute for about five minutes and then I'm like, okay Let's get off of this stopping

Is probably tough and starting up the ride is probably tough as well Oh, oh, you mean like getting started. I was like, you know, it's like not electric, right? No, I mean like yeah getting it started like all right ready go. It's too cold Uh release a song. I put out like four songs On my on my twitter. So like there's a bunch. I'll re-release them again But uh, yeah, I released like four. So you re-release something that's released. Well, like it's not like uh, actually Yeah, they're all in my soundcloud. Just go check them out. Um Soundcloud.com slash Daniela perre. Uh, so yeah, so we did that one

But we still have to release our one song that we were working on and we never finished um Eat an animal's dick and or balls this one I think we could still do like if we go online. I'll look at Rocky Mountain oysters and I'll eat these balls Yeah, but those balls don't count because I have you I think I've had those balls Yeah, but what all right, so I'll eat another animal's balls, but I can cook them however I want I don't want a raw dog. These balls are this dick Where you gonna do a fry them dude, I wouldn't raw dog my own dick

I'm gonna raw dogs from fucking coyotes dick. Like I'm not doing that Yeah, I mean you put you could put lemon on it Yeah, let me like yeah, let me like put it in like a like a curry or something. Let me just dip this dick Um, no, you can't put it in a curry. All right. So you really want that's cheating. Wait. Why is it just me? Why can't you eat a dick too? I mean, I'll try a dick if I eat dick you eat balls All right Together we you know, yeah, yeah cover the whole thing and then we split an asshole. Yeah, and then we'll split an asshole right down the middle

It'd be it'd be eating like half an orange I'll eat balls like a buffalo ball. Yeah, I've seen those on fear factor. I think it'd be harder for you to eat a cock Oh, it's insanely tough. Yeah, you would pass on cock, but you would fucking munch down some balls Yeah Probably yeah, uh next one is play musical chairs with the boys. I think we could do this on zoom honestly What the fuck we said that yeah, we said play musical chairs with the boys We're the boys, uh, I think we said like Frankie and Josh and Keith or something Why do we say that I don't know this the next one play that song this I would still love to fucking play musical chairs

Yeah, now is it legal to grab the chair? No, that's bush. I hate when people do that. It is so bush You've got to get your cheek on it and then you know, yeah, whoever's on the bottom wins Somebody asked me yesterday If I can quote anything for mean girls Did you watch mean girls? Yeah, like can you quote it well? Yes, I could quote like some of them

I can quote mean girls a lot. Let me hear one quote from mean girls I have one stop trying to make fetch happen Stop trying to make fetch happen. By the way, I don't know who that woman's name is. I don't know like whatever But she is fucking so hot. Oh, yeah, uh, she was um on that show party of five that you you were too young to watch Her name I knew it at one point and I was like this woman. I'm in love with her But yeah, also rachel mcadam is blonde hair. Nope Nope Not good

That was like the lindsay lohan golden era, I guess Yeah, it was Not that gold No Never a movie though. Never was a never was a big lilo fan No, I wasn't a big lilo either rachel mcadams too. I was never the biggest fan of her either Like no, she's a classical. She's not my type, but she's gorgeous. Yeah, like she like her face is a little footage Footish like uh, no like light bulb-ish, you know

No, like the shape of a light bulb Like it comes to a point. Yes No, I think that she's a classical, you know, I mean in the notebook She's she's she's cute now. I've always thought classical saying a woman is classical Is like is that like saying she's not hot now, but like 40 years ago. She was hot like what are we talking about? That's like a nice way of saying you're not hot now No, it was just like, you know like I don't know when I think classical I think of like

It's like what it's like when bait tovin was popping like this bitch was hot like what are we talking about? Yeah, basically. Yeah, that's what I mean. I mean like all the racist people on the titanic What they looked and dressed like like like they would have those long cigarette holders and like she had You know like mad men Okay, but it was also like the era like when you were 14 you look 37 Right, right because of the way you dress like you dress like an adult and you smoke cigarettes And it's like why is this child banging haters right now? Oh I haven't banged a heater in

Years probably since you smoked one on my roof that one time. Oh smoked one try 37 Yeah I was just like I was like, yeah, I think I'm just going through some stuff Danny's like I'm going to smoke on the roof. I was like you smoke like I had never seen him smoke cigarettes Like no, I don't really smoke but like my boy left these at my apartment He was upstairs like an hour. And then I had drunk Keith talking right in my face for about 35 minutes Keith's a close talk. Oh God you ever tell the story about how you tricked him into thinking your mom died. Oh

I thought about that the other day and I was dying so Keith Keith and dania going back and forth like making fun of each other and this is when he like first met Danny and we're all just like drinking together at my old apartment and then Keith said something along the lines of being like, yeah, yeah, your mother or whatever and then he goes Which is I'm sorry to cut you off Which is pretty ballsy Like content for like someone you just met Yeah, but he was drunk and he was letting it go. Yeah. Yeah

It was and then Danny just goes Oh, man. Yeah, actually, uh, my mom died and then Keith immediately just snaps and goes Oh, I'm sorry and we fucking lost our minds Danny I think immediately hit the ground And we laughed for like two hours because when somebody says that you can't get upset like my mom died You have to be like, uh, no, like it's cool. Like you don't know but like my mom actually died and then he just went He just goes

Oh, I'm sorry Oh It was the most sincere. Sorry. Like he felt so bad. Oh god. He was so he did a 1a. He was stoned. He was knocked sober Like I'm sorry. That's exactly what happened. He was knocked sober any drunk like Retardation that he had at that point Left his body and he became like the most sober person in the room. Oh, oh, I'm sorry Dude, it was so funny and we laugh And he must have been so confused when we started laughing because I laughed immediately

Like as soon as you said it, I was like Keith's not gonna believe this and he went. Oh, I'm sorry I was like, oh my god Because I think he thought like maybe like hey, maybe my mom died and like we've made jokes about it Like his friend. He still wasn't 100 sure if she was alive or not, right? And it took us a while to game breath to even say words. So yeah, that was funny though. Uh, what else we got? We just did a play musical chairs with the boys. This one still has a chance and also this one too go christmas caroling Oh, yeah christmas caroling. We could go christmas caroling six feet apart and crash Yeah, we probably would have to wear some masks. Yo christmas mask. What song should we do?

Uh White christmas Or or silent night or silent night Silent night. Uh, also the other thing because we talked about Beethoven for a second Beethoven's black How do we just figure this out? Wait, what? You didn't see all the whole thing that yo first of all The Ludwig He's black on vloven. Look at look it up. Beethoven is black

this is Some of the best memes were made because of this Beethoven's black thing by the way How did I miss this? Where have you been dude? All you do is read books and run. You don't go on the fucking internet anymore I I text pictures. It's the number one trending topic. It was the number one trending topic in the world Beethoven, I mean, I'm just seeing pictures of someone who looks like ebony's or scrooge I'm just gonna write Yo, what a fucking asshole ebony's or scrooge was Yeah, what a bastard. What a scrooge christmas bastard

Like, you know, like they should remake that movie and just call it ebony's or asshole Yeah, like piece of shit. Yeah, just call it like I would love for like just someone in the neighborhood like the kids who are afraid I'm just walking like dude. Why are you such a fucking bastard? Yeah, there's ebony's or asshole. You fucking piece of shit dick. My cousin can't walk his polio dick Tiny this guy spooked by ghosts this guy wouldn't give money to a kid who was eight and had a crutch If you're eight because he didn't like christmas Stop being a bastard If you're and the guys work for the guy the kid's dad worked for him

A piece of shit, dude. Dude, if anyone you need to be haunted by three different ghosts to come to the Conclusion that I'll be a piece of shit. You need to be scared shitless To be like, oh, yeah, I'll pay for this kid to get like a new leg like what's wrong with you Yeah, he's got a fucked up leg ebony's or fucking douche Yeah, ebony's a douche Fuck out of you kids get out of there. Shut up you fucking douche Shut up. I hope fucking angry at your ghost. I hope fucking ghosts come back and bother you like last summer. You're fucking douche The next time he gets out of line, don't make me call those ghosts

Shut up. You're fucking crazy old fuck for those ghosts come back to your fucking house. Shut the fuck up. You're fucking Scrooge Oh That shit would have not flown in new york if ebony's or screws tried to come out of his window And start yelling at people kids in new york city. They would have told that guy to go fuck himself so fast Yeah, they were throwing eggs at him. Shut the fuck up. You old piece of shit You boys down there stop making all that noise. Ah, go fuck yourself. You old fuck I go fuck your sister ebony's a douche. My father says you're gay

You're fucking gay douche Yo kids are New york street kids are ruthless All right, go back inside before I come up there and split your old fucking head open your fucking douche Call the cops. I don't give a come down here then call the cops my my father's a lieutenant. You fucking douche Oh, man arrest me arrest me for what arrest me for what you rich old fuck you look at don't go out there and split your fucking whip Ah Oh my god, hey, yo, johnny look at his old fucking douche up here yelling at us

Yeah, whatever why don't you go talk to ghost you crazy old fucking quack Oh man ebony's uh Okay, all right, next one take a pottery class which I took Yeah, you did. I took him all Patrick's ways hell. Yeah, how was it? Did you come out? Did it come out? Yeah? Yeah, it was good. It was great and then coronavirus hit and I have no idea where my pottery is So I made a great milk saucer Milk saucer where you're feeding cats

Gepetto is Gepetto and I just Put some in a little saucer Wait, hold on. What is a milk saucer for if not cats? Were people drinking out of plates? No, it's like milk for coffee. It's like a coffee thing I don't know what you're doing like a like a like a thing you grab with two fingers Who thought that was elegant too? It's like, you know, it's elegant really small cups Like an espresso thing. Yeah, that's elegant because the cup is smaller. Fuck you Like this? Yeah, I got a drink like a fucking asshole

The last thing I want to do is go to a coffee shop and think it's like the giant at the top of a fucking beanstalk I like give me something. I can grab my fucking hand. Give me a mug You fuck You crazy old fuck you fucking old crazy gay quack So rich you get no pussy Instead of a ghost why don't you go see a therapist you crazy old fuck All right after pottery, uh try to get published in the new york times. We'll just skip over that one The fuck why don't we write that get something sky written which we could do

Yeah, how do we do that you googled it and it was very affordable. It's like four grand That's not very affordable, but you know, you can do it patreon.com slash basement. Um, yeah, join the patreon A billboard of me Of you, I think that's what it was. It was me and like my underwear or something. We were just gonna buy a billboard and put it up Uh, maybe I'm like Delaware or some shit Do a live show in 2020 Good night to that. Good night to that

um I mean, I'm streaming on twitch again. So there's that maybe we could do a live show on there Maybe I did I I streamed yesterday didn't tell anybody No, I didn't tell anyone. I just did it for like the people that were already following me, bro Did you see my post about my screen time? Yeah, you hit like four hours. Yeah, I want you to know something that's a lot very No, no, no, no, no, no, but listen it was down 56% from the week before Yeah, so if you think about that, I was on the phone for nine hours a day

Yeah, I know a what Excuse, what am I doing? And it's not watch and it's not watching porn because if it was watching porn it'd be 48 seconds of screen time a day Yes And that's like eight j sessions Eight j j ss sessy

Eight j sessy um Do math smoke crack again Uh, I think that was a joke one Hopefully and then the one watching breaking bad. So wait What You've never seen breaking bad. I watched some of it. I didn't ever finished it

And I'm gonna get yellow dad What do you watch this guy just watched Seinfeld over and over and over again with my hulu, by the way And then and then all he has these two amazing shows that have been at his disposal for like 15 years and he's sopranos. Sopranos. Did you finish? Yeah, what'd you think of the ending? I I already knew the ending. Just yeah, but what would you think from consuming the show? I I I could see how people would pit like we're pissed I mean, it's hard for me to give an opinion on it because I knew what it was going in

So I was already trying to look at I was looking at the show from a scope of that creative Decision to do that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like the decision, especially when you watch the The uh The videos online of like people breaking down the last episode. Yeah, it makes a lot of sense Also, when people really think about it, you know, if I don't want to say it because people don't know what's going on But like if they show what happens what what they were like leading to what happens this How could the show possibly end there?

Yeah, I can't like it has to end somehow Is there's only two ways you get out of that life either either go to jail? You get killed and he is just tony living in constant paranoia probably gets killed or it goes to jail That's all you could do. Yeah, it's like, you know um, but yeah, um and then Breaking bad the fact that you haven't watched the show This long I almost commend you because you didn't break to the peer pressure of everyone telling you to watch a show

If anyone tells me to do something guess what I'm not doing it No, I just like I I was never really into shows until like recently recently meaning like the last four or five years Oh, okay So like I never really watched anything like that, you know Like a like a show Yeah, like I never like sat down and watched like every single week like even Game of Thrones I was late to the party like I didn't start watching until season four Game of Thrones

Is a show that I feel like you could watch from season four like as long as you don't know about like the red wedding and shit Like you're fine I don't know my sister just watched it and she like crushed it in less than a month So so overrated it's outrageous No, it's not dude. That show is overrated and they ruined they've ruined the entire show with the last season Yeah, yes. Well, no, I don't I think the last season was still good. I think the way that they chose to wrap up the show Well, it's lazy, but the show as a whole was fucking amazing Have you and like also I think

arguably Arguably the most talked about show I've ever even like fucking heard of because Part of the show Game of Thrones that was like amazing was the fact that Every week someone had a new theory and it made sense and there was all this content about like theories and shit And it was also it was just so cool And I think that's the reason why the show was such a letdown because there was so many theories and so much research that it was like People went above and beyond Right and their expectations were so high that when the show ends the way it does it's like oh, this wasn't cooler than the theory I had

Yeah Um, I thought it was a great show. Yeah. Yeah, I just think it was overrated for me I don't know. I'm in a minority camp there, but I just think it was overrated Also, I can never remember who anyone's fucking name is on that show except for like the top five Yeah, it took me like three seasons to get everyone's name But yeah breaking bad also no bad episodes Yeah, no, I mean, I know you're not gonna like me saying this but the only episode that I'm like I mean, I get it creatively what they were doing. I fly like the fly episode. Yeah fly episodes great

It's not great. I love that episode I don't know why it's Walter White's ascent into madness I know it's just it's there it is like creatively. I understand that I just feel like it was Such a long drawn out and then it almost to the point where it became obvious of like I see what you're trying to do But like come on. Yeah, that's the people's argument with that episode. I I haven't loved that episode I don't think there's one bad episode How many there's not one bad episode of sons of anarchy. Yes, there are

No, there isn't you have to be a certain type of person to like that show. I that's just how I feel I I feel like that show obviously when you watch it you're like this is fucking impossible Yeah, this would go on but they do an insane job of like if you just let yourself be in this fantasy land of sons of anarchy Where they could just do whatever they want and no one fucking barely goes to jail Uh Shit is happening every second of that show. Yeah, I mean it's an action-packed show also other show where the ending was terrible um The very ending I would say yeah

Like it it stayed on for like just a little bit too long at the end Like a couple seconds too long. I was like, oh, it's super CGI. And then I was just like whatever Yeah, I don't know And then the woman's like a ghost outside of the courthouse or some shit like it's Super fucking biker shit uh all I'm saying That's a big

All lives matter show has to be What do you mean this is like oh sons Oh, you think like oh Conservative people love it. If there's any show playing at all lives matter rally. It's sons of anarchy. Well, I mean they're racist That's what I'm saying Remember when carmelo anthony is like randomly in an episode Oh, yeah, he's like, yeah, you're gonna have to pay in full. I'm just like why is carmelo there not a practice like what's going on? But uh, yeah, it's something anarchy

What once they uh, fucking killed my boy. I was like chill Oh, I know how you're talking about that. I was just like no, I'm good I was too sad, bro. Hell. Yeah, dude. I cried watching that scene Yeah, put put up a good fight though. Uh, and the look good fight. Yeah, put up a good fight The last uh thing on our half-year check in here was build out a studio space. Do we have any updates on that? I mean, this is as good as you're gonna get here. You know, thank god I didn't build out a studio space because I was looking at oh my god. You just be Eating that fucking ring. I'll just be hemorrhaging money right now hemorrhaging

Like like you would be in there. I guess but like would you though? No, I wouldn't Like thank god, I didn't do that I love that it took both of us go like it took me going to another state And you being quarantined for us to have like two proper setups Yeah, we're idiots is just like hey, you know what we should do make studio sets now in two different states Yeah Yours looks good though. I edited it if you wanted to see that episode. It's obviously out now, but At the time you get this

Yeah, um, yeah, I mean it looks all right I mean I set up a little thing for like opl2 to give it some like, you know different and I shoot morning meeting here now Um, and then written the closet. I have the twitch. So in this room everything's kind of getting shot together now Do you have like twitch days you're gonna do or you're just gonna go raise John rando with it? No, I'm just gonna yeah I'm just gonna random random it up I feel that I feel that uh, but yeah, like some of these I think we've done three I think I've done all of them. You haven't done any No, yeah, I haven't done any of that. I haven't done anything

But no, but you've you've had some like new year's resolutions like you exercise quite frequently now You read more. So like you just adopted a couple like let's take out Do a live show in 2020 because that's impossible and let's put read more. You did that one uh, let's take out Play musical chairs with the Let's take out new york times. We're not gonna get published in new york times And let's put in exercise more and then let's do uh Play an old man in chess. Let's uh, you know what? Let's start our own can't candle company. Let's take that one out

It's just hard to do remotely, you know from different places, you know We need a meeting of the minds like we need to get our heads together. Yeah So let's replace that with uh losing weight. So like all right, we've done a couple more We've done some stuff We've done some stuff and you got to really think about it Like you said like retroactively like we might have to like Put some stuff in there until april because we've had no lives Yeah, we've been stuck inside like rats

Like fucking rat like fucking rats. You dirty fucking rat. Oh, look at you. You're fucking you gay scrooge fucking rat Hey scrooge Hey scrooge you fucking rat. I heard you told that ghost your father's a fucking rat scrooge Stay inside stay inside and just be a rat. Well, you're afraid of your past you fucking pussy, bitch You're afraid of christmas you fucking rat pussy You're afraid of snow scrooge. Yeah fucking pussy my father's a fireman come Come face me and my father you rat Shut up your fucking scrooge

Oh, man, you got guy would not have made it in new york Also, i'm just gonna say this before you wrap up here. Yeah, uh, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart Uh, don't name your fucking kid ebb and easter. All right, because that name sucks And that's that I'd be a fucking asshole too if my name was ebb and easter Yeah, I'd probably have to kill my parents if my name was ebb and easter Ebb is a terrible name nick name knees are horrible Or knees or knees Chill chill

What is it? What does your mom call you again? Joey oh, I thought she called you like a name Like a no like a nickname like a Like oh she had like a little pet name. Yeah like scoodle or some shit. Oh, no. I should call me joey lowey lu Joey lowey lu. What a fucking cute. You know your mom is so cute Yeah, she is Like I told you the names. It's it's keithie kuda dude keithie kuda dude Joey lowey lu

Uh, thomas is sonny bunny And then shen shenny wanny poopoo panty Your mom's out here spitting bars Yeah, yeah, she's she's a good. She's a rapper. Also. It's kind of crazy. I didn't realize my sister shit her pants that much You got to earn your way into a poopoo panty nickname dude. She was pooping in those panties Can we talk about how your sister's like had the fastest pregnancy in the history of pregnancies? What do you mean? Time has gone so this is the weirdest thing about this corona 2020 that time is so slow that it's somehow fast

Why because she I mean she's given birth in august. That's what i'm saying, dude Like she's pregnant is shit like if you watch that video If you watch that video now, listen, this just probably just goes for my lack of education on pregnancies, but When she did the thing like the reveal I was like, yeah, dude, she's pregnant Well, I didn't see anything And then I swear I checked instagram the next day. She was pregnant as shit Oh, like her stomach. Yeah Oh, yeah, I don't know. Have you felt it?

Yeah, yeah, oh and I wanted to end off this episode with something that uh Uh since because we were talking about new years and I was thinking about Christmas and then the Christmas caroling scrooge whole scrooge bit um I have a bone to pick with you. It's not a big bone. It's a small bone But I feel like you're a bad gift receiver What do you why because like one you're very hard to get gifts for right So it's like if I give you a gift, right Like you're not like like, oh my god, like this is awesome. Like you're just like, oh cool

I don't know I don't know I think I have big reactions to stupid things like like I said my like I could get a very simple But thoughtful gift to me is like that's gonna make you pop more Yeah, it's gonna it's gonna make me pop But if someone's like I got you this Because I'm not really materialistic and when I am like I want to buy it. So like, you know, whatever but When people are like, oh, I

This thing you said to me like resonated or something. So I put it on a thing or like, you know, uh This is something that means something to the two of us. So I got you this like those things are better And they they'll they'll get more of a pop. Yeah, so just having like an item like sounds like you sneakers. I'm like, uh, thanks, you know Um Two things. Fuck you because sometime. All right, because a gift no matter the size or what it is should be embraced with love Somebody somebody went out of their way to do something nice for you At least put on a happy face. Yes, Scrooge Don't guess don't get me started. Don't get me started. But um

And the other the other thing I was gonna say before this is all over What what? Before this is all over, um We need to talk about Uh, what is that? Is that a car outside of your house? Yeah We need would you get to the point? I'm getting distracted dude. I got a dd. I got a dd Can we talk about the fact right that? If I come back to flor- new york from florida, I'm probably gonna have to be quarantined for 14 days

Which is mean I would have had to do 28 days of travel team Yeah, why Because why is it following me around? Because you left. I don't know I don't think I could do 14 days alone in my house. You would have to come over And I wouldn't You wouldn't come over if I was like, yo, I'm so lonely. Please just come and like talk to me through my window I'll talk to you through your window. That'd be nice. That'd be nice. That'd be nice

Or you could be like pete and Ralph got going to the fucking park every day Park reopens. They run right out there and go to the park. It's wrong with you. Yeah Stay home you weirdos They they didn't open the basketball court though because you're not allowed to play like team sports or anything Yeah, there was a bar down here right down the street Uh a group of girls went 13 of them all of them got it It was down the street from you literally like Five minutes away from where I'm at

Yeah, I saw that that's that's wild This is why I stay in here and I hooked up all my video games and I'm not going outside Yeah, people have been like, yo, like let's go get coffee. I'm just like bro. No look at the internet Yeah, I'm like chill Watch the nose watch the news. Yo, I walk one block down I'm at the beach that shit is flooded every fucking day Yeah with peeps we're just Floridians And then people are gonna be like, yo, like that's not florida like there's people coming to visit florida. I get it

But they're not helping the census here because people are out here and every day's the fucking daily thing is going up Florida's acting very florida now Yeah We'll see though. We'll be we'll be back to hugging each other in no time Dude, I I really do miss new york though Yeah, like it's cool down here But like then I realized it's 95 degrees every day and then I'm just like, you know I rather I can handle 95 in new york because I'm built for that. You know what I'm saying

Like the the 95 down here just slaps different. It's way sunnier. I'm living in a tropical area. This is tropical. This is tropical Yeah, you're in the tropics. Yeah, so like it's like lizards and coconuts and 95 degrees feels like 178 degrees Locked inside of a closet with like my fattest relative Oh, man, I just had the vent for a little bit on this one, you know what I mean, it's all good, bro It's all good. Like I said, you'll be back in new york in no time. Yeah. Yeah, I miss I miss your musk Uh, but but it's just like, you know, I just want to get to a point where I could get on a plane And I don't have to lock myself in my room Like I'm fucking hiding from the like, you know, the soviet army or some shit

I don't really know how they're gonna enforce that but that's what they say. They send people to your house That'll do it. Thankfully I have like nine legal addresses. So like people can't find me That's true, too All right, gotta stay one step ahead of the government, Joe. Yeah, I know he's in the wind Danny, you can't find him. I'm off the grid But Where uh, where can they find you at Daniel Peoria on instagram and twitter and also on only fans only fans dot com slash Daniel Peoria gonna be doing some comedy sketches on there some live q and a's and just hanging out

Maybe even post a picture of my feet, but that's gonna cost you Oh, you guys can follow me at joe sanagato Uh, go follow the show at the baseman yard in our patreon where you get every episode a week early and daily content from me and Danny Patreon dot com slash the baseman yard and that is all see you guys next time. Ah, fuck you, you old fuck