The Basement Yard - #260 - The Most Inappropriate Movie Titles

Episode Date: September 21, 2020

Frank tries to get Joe to guess these movie titles by describing them in the most "porn" way possible. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to The Basement Yard. How's everyone doing? I've been fucking... No, it's cool. Already starting with the... Introduce yourself. It's me. It's Frank. Good job. That's it.

I just want to give a quick shout out to all of our patrons of the show, The Basement Yard. Go to The Basement Yard. Nope, that's not it. Go to patreon.com slash The Basement Yard to get next week's episode today. And also, you get an extra episode of The Basement Yard every single week. Wow. Wow. You're a salesman. Let me tell you. Are you push... is your point going back in your head? You have like the middle of your head has like a... like a hawk. What am I doing?

There was like... you know how you do the flip in the front? It was like here. I'm not flipping. It was. It was a little bit. Well, that's because I'm wearing headphones. It might have pushed something. It might have pushed it back a little bit. Don't look at me, okay? Because all of your hair is pushed back. Yeah.

Pushed back. Don't you ever try to come at me like that. You look like a mechanic, Frank. My hair looks way better than yours will ever look. You look like a mechanic. You've acknowledged on multiple occasions. Just show me your hairline. No, your hairline's amazing.

Amazing. And it's natural. I don't touch it up or anything. Who has a fake hairline? Well, people that get like, you know, like shape ups and stuff. That's not a fake hairline. Yeah. I thought you meant like hair plugs. Like people you get like you have to like staple hair into your head.

Is that like... I thought it was like they like sew it in. Like your head is like a fucking... like a pin cushion. Yeah. I mean, yeah. You have to go to Turkey though. They have good doctors out there. That's what I've heard. I mean, why Turkey? I mean, Turkey's got the doctors.

Turkey, if anyone out there is looking to replenish their hair in a way that they need some surge, Turkey over abbreviating surgery. Yeah. Okay. I was very confused. Here I go. Yeah. On a roll. Now you just did it. Yeah.

Cused. You see what I did though, right? Yeah, you did. Expert at creating abbreviated words that work well. That's enough. New desk, by the way. This thing is nice. It's nice.

It's nice because my legs... Can you stop? No. We have stuff. This is a brand new table. Don't kick it over. By the way, last episode in this apartment, I'm moving tomorrow. So there will be a new setup at a new spot on the next episode that you watch, okay?

Which you can watch early if you're a patron at patreon.com. Wow. That's it. Nailed it. Right in there. Dump it in. Dump it in. Dump it in.

Dump it in. I don't know how to do what you're saying. Oh. Dump it in. Nice. You're all over the place. I think I wore that shirt on the last episode that we recorded. I think it's alright.

No, I think you wore it on a patron episode. I did. I did. You can check it out at patreon.com. Joey, I actually... I know you got some stuff you wanted to get to today, but I have a little game for you. Okay. I...

You know, in my previous line of work, I love talking about movies, TV, video games. Okay. And before you so violently... Can I just stop you for a second? You're... You're... Your mustache is getting a little captain hook over there. It's coming in my mouth?

Wait. It's not doing that. I meant that it was, you know, it was twirling. Oh, it's twirling. Oh, do you like... Do you remember my twirls? Yeah. Can we back up though?

Why'd you say that? Your mustache is coming in your mouth? It does this thing where when it gets too long... It just fucking blasts off in your mouth. I get it. It like, you know, like leans over... It curls into your mouth. It curls.

Yeah, it doesn't... It doesn't come. It doesn't come in your mouth. Not coming. Nothing... This mustache has never made anything come. I... Well, I don't know that, but I'm going to assume it.

It's a fair assumption. Is it... You're curling? Are you doing that? No. It's just when I don't shave, it's just like... It's like muscle memory. Yeah.

My body remembers when I had the actual curls and when I would gel them. You're starting to look like an old boxer. That's nice. Like if I was like an old time, like a ragtimey, strong man. Like Rocky Marciano or something. Yeah. He didn't look like that. But I think I pull it off really well.

I think it looks nice. I just didn't know if you were going for it. I love how you have always made fun of my choice of facial hair. And then, literally, someone else in your life does it and you're like all about it. You think I'm about Keith's mustache? Not even just Keith, but I remember last year, you and Danny had mustaches and I was just the lone fucking wolf. I was the black sheep just sitting there and just...

First of all, I buzzed a mustache for like two days because it was ironic. Ironic? Yeah, I didn't do it for fashion. I think you did because I think you and your buddies were grown it out. Me and my buddies? Yeah. You are my buddies. Thank you so much.

I really appreciate that. You're talking about it. I need the world to know that. Let's get back to this game. Yeah. So I had a game for you just because before you violently shut down my whole life and no longer allowed me to speak about movies, TV, video games. Right.

Yeah. So I want to see if you can guess the movies I'm talking about. But I put a little twist on a description. So what I'm going to do, and I gave you an example the other day, which I'll give the people here an example as well, see if they can follow and play along. But I gave the example as this. I'll give you a description of a movie. It will have like an adult or humor themed, a comedic themed description.

See if you can get it. For instance, the one I used was Horny Little Sandboy Kisses Big Sis and Wants to Fuck Big Daddy. Wait, not Fuck Big Daddy. You never know. Oh, okay. So you switched that one up. I did.

Because you told me it was Horny Little Sandboy Kisses Big Sis and tries to find Big Daddy. Find Big Daddy. Find Fuck. You know what's going to happen. Which, of course, if you're following, that is the description of Star Wars, of course. That is. That's Star Wars. Luke Skywalker.

Horny Little Sandboy. Horny Little Sandboy. Wants to Fuck Big Daddy. He lives in the sand. Whatever. What were they doing out there? He lived in Tatooine, the desert planet of Tatooine. Right.

Under. Kissed his sister. He did kiss his sister. Like, why? She, I think she kissed him to make Han Solo jealous. It was weird. I've seen that video. Yeah.

Have you? I've seen that. You've seen that? Yeah, yeah. You've seen like Brother Sister porn? Oh, yeah. You're fuckin' weirdo. I mean, I've seen it.

I'm not like, yeah I'm sure you're crankin' out fuckin' homeruns and your pants to that shit. Don't even lie. I'm not I promise. We're good. So so yeah, so I'll give you examples I have a list of 17 movies. Oh, I might not give you all 17 Okay, because some of that might be funnier than others, but I want to see like follow along Okay, let me see if you can get it. Okay, you know, I'm trying to bring new things to the table. Okay new new table New things to at the table at the table. I understand new things. So I'm gonna pull my phone out

Why'd you say it like that? I don't know I Pulled it out the way. I assume Mark Zuckerberg does I was just like Mark Zuckerberg's got weird. He's not human. He's not human. He's got really weird movements. All right How good do you think you're gonna do? I think I'm gonna do really I picked this Pacificly you pissed I pissed specifically. I specifically picked movies that I think you have known That you know and have that I have known that you have no no many more right that you've enjoyed What are you doing? You okay? Where you going?

Yeah, I just I'm hearing like a fucking Is it me? I don't know we're fine. We're good. Yeah, we're all dead. We're all dead. We're all gonna be there We're all dead. All right the first one. You ready? Yep It's about to show okay, go oh My god, I go and piece of till is in my god. Oh, that could be literally is that the Sopranos? Oh the godfather. Oh, no, no Say it one more time. Oh my I gotta go and piece of till is in the galama That this hurts my shoulders. Oh stop doing it. Is it it's not the godfather. No, it's got to be something Italian. Well

Casino fucking good fellas Right, okay, you got a casinos more Jewish people than Italian people. That's true. Cuz the main guy Robert De Niro is Jewish And that all right, so I started off easy. I started you off easy. Okay, okay? number two, okay And I'm gonna do it my best like What the fuck was that you know what it is the gangs all here for a big bang with some sweaty leather and wet balls careful For the monster because he'll devour your ass

Okay, I thought this was dodgeball at first. No, that's I mean it's a ball related movie. Yeah But that monster will devour your ass Space Jam. No Come on. Oh What's the golden airbud? No, what's wrong with you? I don't know. How stupid are you a monster devouring? Yeah, with a with sweaty leather leather a leather monster. Come on a monster Texas chainsaw massacre. No, what's wrong with you? Balls are in that what wet balls are in Texas. There's leather. He's a he's they call the leather leather face

I know but that's not listen listen again one more time close your eyes Mm-hmm. It'll get you in the mood gangs all here gangs all here for a big bang with some sweaty leather and wet balls Careful for the monster because he'll devour your eye Deep blue sea no no Are you giving up? Are you throwing your hat in the ring? I need more clues. That's that's the best you can get really? That's the best. That's really good the gangs all here all of them Okay, and then there's the

Come on. I don't know come on. I don't know you're giving up Say you give up on this one wait. Hold on one more time games all here sweaty leather balls sweaty leather balls for a big bang Big bang big bang That's not helping. Oh I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. I what is it? That's the Sandlot. What the fuck the big bambino And the balls in the monsters All the monster they call them the monster. I don't remember what they call them the beast the beast Oh, if you would have said beast that would have helped I might have I might have it might help

It probably wouldn't have though because I was thinking so much different kind of sex. Yeah So none of these really are sex-related, okay, okay? Well, how many sex-related movies are there a lot good amount? I would assume That fixed it that did I don't think it did. Oh, we're fine No, no, I did it did it fix it. It's better. Nice. All right. You ready? Yep. This one's an easy one lay up I know it's a movie you very much. So enjoy mm-hmm Spit and sweat for two twinks battling over who gets to spank who first You thought I was gonna get I know you could get that immediately. Okay one more time spit Got that and sweat

for two twinks Spit and sweat for two twinks two twinks battling over who gets to spank who first The level at which they're trying to spank each other might be up for debate, but how's and Kumar go to watch those twinks They go to Guantanamo Bay. What did you go it Guantanamo? There it is Guantanamo. It's a hard word say come on two twinks pit Okay, sweat. Yeah, there's a lot of sweating in these. I'm sorry. They're battling over. Who's gonna spank who first? Batman vs. Superman no

Those are twunks. They are they those aren't twink. Oh, so it's two skinny men two skinny twink Lenny of mice and men. No, what is that a movie? That is okay, but you're wrong. I'm yeah Okay, hon two twinks. Come on. Think of the twinkiest little sexy boys and it's one of your favorite movies. What it's one of your favorite movies. Oh Oh, I know who it is. What is it fight club? Yeah, let's go. I needed that I knew that you did you did you did yeah technically to the two twinks was only one twink if you're paying attention I know well fucking spoils Lord Jesus Christ. Yeah, it's a good movie. It came out in 90 something a 99 I believe yeah, or 2000 All right, you ready? Yeah, I'm good

Couple of potentially potent pussies with poop play in broad daylight. Who's the best kitty cat? This can't be a real movie I To potential what was it? Couple of potentially potent pussies with poop play in broad daylight. Who's the best kitty cat? The poop play is throwing me so off. Oh, come on. Okay. Can I just get a clue? Is this an animated movie? No, not animated him it to live action to potentially pussies potent Okay, so to I'm too potentially potent pussies. Hmm are fighting. What is it?

I'm getting it mixed up a couple of potentially potent p words Yeah, that's actually how I wrote it down nice with with poop play in broad daylight. Who's the best kitty cat? The Lion King. No, it's not animated. Oh, yeah, we said live action. I kind of yeah. Yeah. Yeah, come on two cats No, I don't know why I said that. Yeah, that did you see that by the way? No boy Don't heard James Corden was a cat. I was like, I'm all set. Yeah, I don't need to see this fucking Jesus poop play. Yeah, who's playing with poop? Oh Well, it doesn't mean that I you know, I turn it up a little bit for the sake of this, you know, yeah

Yeah, so maybe they're not playing with poop, but there's poop. There's poop Jurassic Park. Nope. There's a big poop pile on that big poop pile on that Fuck dude, come on would I help if it who's the best kitty cat? Who's the best cat king of the cats? No, come on. This is great. I'm very good at this. You suck at it Let's be very clear about that This is hard. I know the jungle king of the jungle. What is that a movie? I don't know why I Mean, no, what's a jungle book? No, that's also animated. Yeah, fuck. I mean, they did it live-action. No, that's a jungle That's a good one. Fuck

What is it bridesmaids? Are you fucking kidding me? No, how is it gonna get that be smarter? I guess All right, this next one is real easy. You got this next one. I've heard that before that's bothering you. I don't blame you That's what it was fixed it. Yeah, I don't know It was it like magnetized on the desk. It was the the wire was leaning on the metal I was getting all the electrodes. We're good. We're good. Don't touch it. It's fixed. All right Next yep Who's gonna cream who first daddy and leather or the bukkake prince of crime?

That's easy. Yeah, that's simple. Yeah, one more time Who's gonna bukkake who first? Who's gonna cream who first daddy and leather or the bukkake prince of crime? Come on Freaky come on. You're really think of that last line the bukkake Prince of crime Why do you think that makes sense because? Bukkake, yeah, which is a Japanese

form of Gang bang and no, I think it's more the the face eject yeah Yeah, so there's so that's involved or what would someone's face look like Prince of crime post eject be white, right? Yeah Prince of crime. Yeah, the dark night. Yeah Holy shit Good job, I just said that because of face paint. I don't know that's and that's where I went for what the bukkake What was the beginning of that? Uh, who's gonna cream who first? Just turn it up. Honestly, you might get hired to write

Descriptions for movies. I you know if anyone is in the biz hit me up Dub is always looking for more money since Joey takes 96% and this number keeps getting higher Jerry curls check Go Jerry curls check I think I have it already big head black brain in the backseat Check lost it double check some rubber ass play Wow Is there anymore Jerry curls check Black brain in the backseat double check right some rubber ass play Wow Pulp fiction. Yep

Yeah, yeah, and you don't realize there's ass play in that movie, right? There's a lot. There's some stuff Oh like fiction it's not like it's not fun ass play Nothing's fun. I get nothing cool happen. I get what you're saying. That's not true. Yeah That's not true. Um, all right. These are so fun. Oh, I wonder if anyone's got anything. I hope so I'm gonna say no. I really want to so I Really want to sell I really want to get him a quote I really want to say I hope that they're like giving that what they believed it was be honest if you All right, you ready? Yeah, I

Want to say take it easy on this hung horsey who will giddy up for for only one girl He's been there done that and we'll run across the country for you See biscuit no It's a horse movie take it. No, we'll take it easy on this hung horsey Who will get it giddy up for only one girl? That's every love story. I know not everyone Giddy up for this little horsey. There's hung horsey. He's hung. He's hung Giddy up for this hung horsey one girl one girl run across the country for all the way for scum bingo

Let's go baby. Yeah, you gotta take time to figure it out. Yeah, it's the context clues. I got it onward Mm-hmm Every twink needs big daddy trying to control them slow down those shots to see them come While living in this Hornetopia hot topic simulation I'm literally never gonna get that but go ahead. Let's break it down. Let's just get the beginning Let's get the first sentence hot topic was in there, which it was every twink needs big daddy trying to control them. Oh Okay Slow down those shots to see him come

While living in this Hornetopia hot topic simulation The breakfast club. No, what why would I? Think of like what's like movies that have like Hornetopia? What is that? Like Hornetopia like a horny like like it's like universe a utopia of horniness a Hornetopia, right? Context clues Joey what movies have those yes, none hot topic simulation. Oh I'm basically lobbing this for you. This is an alley girls. No What? Mean girls wasn't very having sex. They were pretty horny mean girls dry humping in that movie. I think were they yeah

Didn't like Lindsay Lohan got like groped or something. I think Groped. Oh dude a teacher fucked a student in that movie groped and dry hump Little different. You're right, but you know, they're in the same family. Uh-uh cousins Related the disincuns. I'll agree of separation. Maybe I'll agree with that. Okay slow down those shots Slow down those shots to see him come While living in a Hornetopia hot topic simulation The Matrix Bingo, let's go. Oh, what hot why do you keep doing that? Why they're fisting me?

Why do you I'm a fist guy. I'm a slap guy. That's where we get fair enough You know, that's why I slap your fist. Okay? Um, wait, what was hot topic have to do with my like they're all like hot topic dressed Like they got like trench coats and like leather and just all black That was pretty good. When was the last time you went to the hot topic? One time sooner than you would think funny story. I bought a shirt from hot topic that What had just had a picture of a mouse on it and then said yellow rat bastard. Yeah, I remember those I Thought why are B baby that shirt was

Incredible Asian. Yeah. Yeah, I I miss the old hot topic when walking in you were like fear for your life And now it's like wrestling t-shirts and shit like you're like fine now every Marvel character You can think of yeah, I probably have more shirts from Marvel than I do gifts from you in my life I would say that mm-hmm and hot topic. I bought them in hot. Okay moving on mm-hmm No man left behind and no man's behind will be left after the whole cavalry goes to get this little shaved boy out of a tight squeeze That isn't amazing. I know That isn't amazing. I'm gonna read it again. Just to make sure No man left behind and no man's behind will be left after the whole cavalry goes to get this little shaved boy out of a tight

Little shaved boy. Yeah, I really hope you know it a saving private ride Got it. That was really good. Yo, that is fucking hilarious. I'm pretty good at this little shaved boy I think the most impressive part of that was that no man left behind and no man's behind will be left, right? This is so fun good You know this one there's a typo in but I'm just gonna read it as it is okay, and then I'll let you know What I was going to write okay couple of hair Yeah This one isn't even sexual. It's just weird. Yeah, couple of hair do battle to see who can rule the rock is everyone laughs and watches

Okay, where's the typo I'm assuming hair. Yeah. Yeah couple of Men it was it was supposed to be hairy pussies. I Have no idea where the word pussies went though Couple of hairy pussies do battle to see who can rule the rock as everyone laughs and watches a Couple of hairy pussies do battle to rule the rock Yeah Armageddon no

Come on. There was a big rock in that. I know there was there was but like the and everyone's laughing Watching That gives it away. No, no hairy pussies. Yeah doing battle fighting To rule the rock Come on, I don't come on ants. No, what bugs life. No, huh? No, it's do you want do you give up? No, okay? Come on. There's a rock There is a rock can I get some more about this rock it is people that are there are very pride Driven

You would call it a pride rock Lion King bingo. I see earlier. I had bingo and I left it left in the past I need to go back for it. You didn't bring it back with you. Okay All right moving on Rock-hard robot won't settle for one little bush as he chases the futuristic fanny Come on bison teniel man. No, but a good guess honestly really good guess slept on that Yeah, I mean shut out shut the Robin Williams. Yeah No, it's good movie rock-hard robot won't settle for one little bush as he chases a futuristic fanny

Robocop. No the bush part. Oh fucking terminator. No shit the bush part really throws it over the edge Bush Bush He won't settle for just one. How many robot movies? Oh, I robot. No fuck me Come on think about it. And what robot movie is there bush a form of a bush? I Don't know what this is. Yeah, that's a bad word Come on you got this robot movie Yeah, what's that big hero six? No, but that's a that's a good movie not enough people saw big hero Yo big hero six made me cry like a little group really fire really really sad Yeah, we say I like I hope you're good with my service with some shit

Yeah, you go down. Are you satisfied with your service, bro? I've literally got chills just now dude. It's good I'm very good at that. Yeah, but la la la That I don't remember yeah Rock-hard robot rock-hard robot rock-hard. Yeah Won't settle for one little bush as he chases a futuristic fanny Oh Come on You might not have ever seen this one. What is it possible? It's Wally

No, I haven't it's really good. Is it really good nice and the bush is because he finds a plant Got it See what I did. Yeah, but what is the futuristic fanny part? He chases a new white futuristic looking robot girl named Eva. I should say white because she's white Oh, okay. That's why she looks futuristic. Gotcha. You suck ready There's a couple more left. I'm gonna eliminate one because I don't think it's that funny The more the merrier sniff your way through these this adventure with the Cuban Missile Crisis in polyester pants

Oh, come on The more the merrier Joe dirt no sniff Where did that fucking come from because I he was he was strapped to a missile and I was like, I don't know It wasn't a missile. It was like a poop. It was a poop tank, but he said that it was a missile So sniff your way noses through this adventure with a Cuban Missile Crisis in polyester pants Come on, you know it sniff your way sniff your way Through this adventure with I mean adventure might not be the right term to use. It's a movie with a Cuban Missile Crisis in polyester pants sniff my way

For a harbor. No, what? Come on sniff. Yeah, I don't Know that's a sniff stink Stinky something stinky. Did I say stinky? No, but you sniffing or what are you sniffing something? What can you sniff? Sense six cents. No Come on you you Cuban Missile Crisis in polyester pants You're not good. No, man. What is it? Scarface? He sniffed a coke can

He was sniffing dad. He was dat. I should have put dat in there. He should have you would have got did I put dat in there? I would have whole pile of all right Polyester pants. Yeah, that's a really good one Cuban Missile Crisis. He's Cuban. God, you're so stupid. Should have added a cockroaches in there You know, I got it. Yeah You know why I had a framed picture of Scarface when I was like 15 You know, I'm pretty sure Scarface is the background to Dominic's phone. He's still still yep to this day Yeah, money power respect. I had boxers that along the waist the elastic

It said money power respect. Didn't you have a shirt that said like pussy money weed? I didn't have that but I'll tell you what I didn't have also money power or respect right? Yeah, you didn't have any have any of those still don't Wow the rich are getting richer Next From the jump to the hump this movie lets you know that being a little bitch boy is nice for big daddy Horbucks There are also drugs I Know this what 22 Jump Street. No, but so close fuck

There's a word in there that is really Really close this might work for other movies as well by the way just for the record one more time From the jump to the hump This movie lets you know that being a little bitch boy is nice for big daddy's Horbucks There are also drugs You got served. No, how would God make so drugs in that day. Yeah, you don't remember I think I watched it 85 times in 2005 and not a single time since dude There was that guy who like they he like beat the shit out of them

I remember just the dancing part where they put the head on the like his hand on the back of his head And he's like going up and down like that. Yeah, all I remember what happened to Marquis who's put Isn't he like five six? He still might be that's what happened to us. Yeah, that's why he didn't last He got stepped on yo shout out to beat 2k come on the show bump bump bump. Yeah Do you know that's not you got sir? It's not you got sir. Are you sure? I you know what now that I think about it It might also be you got served, but it's not the one that I wrote about okay one more From the jump to the hump to the hump. You're being a whore for daddy's bucks. This movie lets you know that being a little bitch boy

This is nice for big daddy's Horbucks Uh-huh. There are also drugs And let me say a lot of drugs Like big drug movie it literally all no, but it starts off with someone blowing the cocaine into a NASA hole oh Wolf of Wall Street Bingo, I'll never forget that scene bang. Oh, it was blowing drugs into I've never seen that Is that some people do yeah? Yeah, it's called boofing

What yeah, Danny taught me that I've never I've never didn't teach me he just told me Show me anything all right. There's three more left Okay, okay wait hold on. Can I just back up for one second? Yes, sir in also in that scene She puts a candle in his ass She like no she does like the wax on him. Yeah, but didn't you jam a candle in she might have she might have she might have Why is it that like finance dude? I feel like that's like a day A lot of people that are in like finance like the world of finance They just love coke and getting BDSM and just getting their assholes torn up. Yeah, why hey man

Or like even the dripping of the wax the wax I've done. Have you done that? No, what you've burned your skin It doesn't burn your skin. Why do you do it? It's like. Oh, yeah, really? Yeah, that's weird. It's nice It just feels like I mean you're not like pouring fucking wax You know like a candlestick and you're just like yeah, but it just makes me feel like a like You know, I'm having sex with a witch. That's nice I would tell me you've never wanted to have sex with fucking like gruntilda That's from banjo-kazooie. I meant the one from the Wizard of Oz. Yeah, I think that's just a wicked witch I don't really know that one. Yeah, but Gertie

What the fuck is her name Matilda Matilda? That's a child Galinda Galinda she was a smoky one, but she but she wasn't like a mean witch. She was a good one She was a man that came like that down in a bubble. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, so what are we talking about next wait? What was the answer? Oh Wolf Wall Street? Okay, this one's a tricky one. Of course. I throw you off at the beginning. Mm-hmm Santa comes twice a year once for Christmas and the other for paper lizards join this Join join this horny romp and watch life find a way into my pants

Dude That was so funny because when you first started it I was like I'm gonna get it like this one like fine, and then you said paper lizards, and I'm just I think that's also a typo I don't think paper lizards was what I meant to write you so you don't even know I know what movie this is right But I don't know if it's the one that Santa comes twice a year once for Christmas and the other for paper lizards But this last sentence really pushes it over the yet join this horny romp and watch life find a way into my pants Life finds a way come on that is

Travegan you have the most beautiful eyes that I've ever seen oh on a human being That's my impression of who said that line. I feel like I should know you a hundred percent should You guess this movie for another movie that you had today yes Yeah, now you're stressing You keep stressing your mind mind. I don't know fuck come on Santa comes twice a year yeah But it has nothing to do with Santa Claus it has to do with the person in the movie Tim Allen no, he's the Santa Claus. I know he is Jim Carrey. No

Keeping I just keep going that never Santa Claus ever ever. I don't think in Grinch. He was Come on Talking about it's Jurassic Park life Finds away right Jeff Gold. Yeah, and that was a good go-bloom impression. Don't even lie and say it wasn't oh This is the most fantastical Sort of events that have ever happened to me. Let's get inside immediately Yeah, but what was the thing you said Santa comes twice a year Where's that come from cuz all that guy looks like John Hammond looks like Santa. Yeah, you know

Why'd you say twice a year once for Christmas and the other for his lizards? I accidentally put the word paper in there Yeah, you know how much that threw me off But I mean there's paper lizards in there, too, there's no there's not drawn on paper The life finds a way should have put you over the edge I should have but all right. I got two more and then we can get to the ads. Yep. Okay little ginger bitch gets Little ginger bitch gets wet and bothered for his scarred and marred boy toy with a skinny stick Flick this bean with your big sex toe Pat Hornam. I

Fucked that last line Did you get right and where did you write these in the dark? Little ginger bitch gets wet and bothered for his scarred and marred boy toy with a skinny stick Got it flick this bean with your big sex toe sex toe patch Hornam What is that's Harry Potter? Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is little ginger bitch Ron Weasley Ron Weasley little stick wand wand scarred and marred boy toy

That's Harry Harry Pulsar. Do you remember one of the first videos that I was ever Harry Pulsar. You remember that? Yeah, I got like ridiculed in college for that dude There was a video when I first started making YouTube videos. It's like the third video ever made in my life It was like two minutes long me and Frankie just sat there Frank's like Frankie was just saying Harry Potter in like Different movies different. No, but it wasn't even context of different. It wasn't even though it was just you were saying it different He was going like Harry Potter and like that would be like one movie. Yeah, and then the next movie He'd be like Harry Potter and then we go on to the next movie. He was just saying Harry. Yeah, I did about like the first one

They're like Harry Potter And the second they're like Harry Potter wait, so that video you got ridiculed for in college Yeah, like there was a remember I was an RA and my first year as an RA I had three sweets and one of the sweets was like a suite of girls And I remember like doing rounds and going through their suite one day and they had printed out pictures of me and Just wrote Harry Potter on them like threw out the suite. That's amazing. Shout out shout out Okay, last one last one. I'm gonna get it immediately another little sandy boy goes out of his way To fuck on a carpet

It's easy a lot. Yeah, that was an easy one. So that's it. Nice. At least I got the last one you got Let's see. You got good fellas You got Fight Club. You got Dark Knight. You got Pulp Fiction. You got Forest Gump got the Matrix. You got Saving Private Ryan Aladdin you got Aladdin You got Wolf of Wall Street, and you got Harry Potter. So you got ten nice 10 out of 16 I passed 10 out of 16 claps up to you. Thank you so much everyone You see I'm clapping. Yeah, what that's a new one that you invented. No, that one's not is this Tetris Yeah, the Tetris clap

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You're not like keeping it Frank or some shit. No, there's no keeping it Frank this week You know, I think we've we've been you know fighting the impressive Italian Italian-Irish business owners for a couple weeks now, but trust business owners trust me as as I come back I come back with the power of you guys the viewers the comments and I'm coming for your ass. Okay comment Anyway, I saw this story online and I didn't look into it until today because I was like this can't be real but apparently it is The the I got to find the actual headline that I found because I took a screenshot of it and I was like Oh my god, I have to bring this up

But so you ever see those videos of like people in a church and like people are just going crazy because they're like The Lord will punch you with faith and he's like And then someone flies off the stage and you're like, what's going on? I've always wanted to go the women in the first row is kind of passing out I always wanted to go the power of God never moved anything the way it does those people two things that I'm like that I'm stereotyping that I see happen all the time do it in those videos like Black women pass the fuck out. Yeah, when they get the Lord in a very sweaty and then they're out and they have fans

Someone get an AC in here. No the fans the fans add to it. I mean it. Yeah, I don't Heets that room up. Yeah, he does and then the other thing is a lot of screaming They need you to know that God is there with them. Yeah, and it's like it's just intense I love yeah, those are the I feel like that's a lot more like down south and like these like Crazy like televangelist churches. Also this the choir is Incredible. Oh, yeah, I would rather go there than listen to this fucking And an unity of the hall these best shot up. Yeah I put some fucking music behind how do they like get like people to sing at churches like I've always wondered that because you go when

They're not very good. Did God say hey when you preach Sang that shit if I was God, I'd be pissed because I'll let you know he or she Wants someone that's gonna represent them with absolute fucking pipes like when you go to these stupid churches over here Like oh shit, and you know the power of the Holy Ghost is gonna be the one that's gonna be running through you It's like dude, fuck you you sound like a doorbell dude, we need some like Steve one duo in there, you know, just like How how awesome would that be let's get a 30 piece band and Then preach tell me you well, I'll hit the shit of an alpha what I'm calling it here Only only church

I'll go to is one where the songs and the music is all done by Creed because they're a gospel band now Now, I thought they always they always happen. Yeah, but like they were like Christian rock Father with me again Yeah, about Jesus it it is his arms are open for you my Thing about it. I mean they Scott staff has been singing about this shit all the time Yeah, can we get Scott staff on here? Honestly? What oh, yeah, no, we can't know we can't I don't know do you think he'll come on you just said stupid churches He's not coming on yeah, you might be a little upset with over

But like I told him I'll be fine with churches once he comes Yeah, I just need I need the the white churches to sing more and have better singers You know because like my grandma was up there God rest his soul, but she had just an old classical voice We suck at singing. I don't even know I never heard your grandmother sing. I don't think I have either I just assume I hate to break it to you. She probably sucks. She probably sucked. She's probably really bad Oh God My grandma would be punching me in the face right now for that dude

But like seriously like there are a lot of white singers that are good. Where are they? You know, let's get Kelly Kelly Clarkson up there They're not oh, she's got a she's got pipes. She's got pipes up. She won American I'll what would you do you walk into a church Kelly Clarkson lady Gaga singing the hymns see now That's a church. I've I'm sliding in that bitch, you know, I'm staying right there. Yeah, you know I'm really thinking about you know going to church if there's some good music You know what I'm saying? How like they need to market these churches better to keep churches need better marketing Do you remember that video from like 2008? It was like my crew is big and it keeps getting bigger. Oh, yeah, and the church people said the end drop the n-word like

Mad times. Uh-huh. Maybe maybe 18 times. I can't tell you first of all I think I've memorized the song obviously minus the big, you know the drop the big end, you know But good on them because that's a well put together song. You know what I mean? It is what was the point of that it's an appeal to a younger generation Good job. You idiots the woman in that really has some bars Was she the same woman who did that avocado song? I don't know but that song is it's a banger Why will say listen as if avocado needed more fucking white people? Listen, and I could say this to you know your lane like if you're gonna sing sing about things that are like very white church

No avocados of all avocados. Yeah, you know Being racist like sing about what you're good at Sing sing of what you're good at yeah, like is there anything more white? I know that they come from like Mexico, but like then avocados Dude, I just want to touch on this because I know it's gonna come up again But every single time that I even mentioned like a white person joke These fucking people come out of nowhere like oh, it's all this white guilt And I'm like first of all joking take it easy if you take anything on here serious

You're a fucking dumb. We just called Luke Skywalker a dirty little Sandboy that's the one who kissed his sister. Yeah, that's and listen. I'm a big Mark Hamill fan. That's a disrespect to him But you got sense humor? Yeah, you know Mark Hamill, he's a patron at patreon.com such base video He's gonna be in the next episode Let me tell you no, he's not he's not if he is though I will let you know as I walk in here mark my words. I'll piss my pants That's a threat if you get him in here. I want you to know at some point during this podcast

I want you to stand up and piss into gray sweatpants Okay, that would be so funny. Okay, and I won't even tell you when it's happening I'm gonna bring a pair of pants like a spare pair of pants. I'm letting you know this right now Go ahead if you surprised me if I didn't like I'm wait like a month because I want to forget about the gray sweat pants, okay But you're gonna come in here and if you just so hold on and you stand up and you piss your pants I'm going to Pass out you might Just do me a favor promise that if I do that it's at a point where you can hire me full-time because I'll never get a job after

Don't go for a job if you're like, well, you're super qualified Yeah, you've got a master's in criminal justice management. You've got a bachelor's of science, you know honors and both You also piss yourself on YouTube. What is this? Why did you piss yourself on perp? Yeah, yeah, just promise me that if it ever gets to that point you're like ready and willing and able to hire me Yeah, yeah, because my life's over at that point. I'm gonna tell you this right now. I'm not So Do you think that's like a thing? Well, there was that one woman who didn't get hired because she had like a bikini picture on Instagram

Yeah, I think I think it was big when we were In college like 2010 2012 pretty much from like 2010 to 2014 where Now it's like a lot of countries or not countries But states are making it difficult for them to like base your you off of your social media, right? I know that it still happens, you know, like to an extent, but I don't know like I remember there was a Like in like Connecticut There was a news crew that came to my college and they were they were like, can we see your Facebook and I was Stupid, I was like sure and my profile picture was me doing the middle finger

But not like this not like, you know, like those like old ones where it was like You know, like the bellows and you know, like the buddy qua babies. Yeah. Yeah, but like it was like Someone was like I was taking a picture with my friend and I was like flipping off the camera And she was like trying to pull my hand down. So it was like yeah, yeah, you know And she was like, do you think this is smart to have out there? I was like, yeah, I don't care and they were like, but what if you don't get a job? And I was like, I'll be all right. You said that to the news. Yeah, I Said I think I said like it's a form of expression

You told a news crew. I think I did you're expressing yourself artistically through the middle finger. Yeah That's that's how that is classic old Frank there. That's that's all right that That's all right Frank. That's what people don't realize that is so fucking fun. You had a story to pull up Yeah, I still have it, but I just you know, I got we don't need to talk about I got sidetracked because you know But it's about the church and that's why I brought it. Oh, but you know You're right like the church at the end of the day needs better marketing You know because like there's churches that like, you know, how are you gonna appeal to me? Sell me on church. Sell me on church. You know what I mean?

Cuz this God person because in the at the end of the day, you can have your relationship with God on Your own time, you know, you don't necessarily have to go to the big house. Yeah That's prison. Yeah To go to what you might go to the big house and also find out about God people do that people do that. Yeah So yeah, so you don't have to go to the here's the church Here's the steeple open door sale of people. How many people in this episode have we offended? All of them a lot of them. So I'm saying you don't have to go there. So it's like you got to sell me on Coming there, you know what I'm saying? Just like supermarkets supermarkets also have to do that because like we got fresh direct now

So it's like I can have it come to me. So you sell me on an experience So you want like to drive by a church and see like for sale, you know, like 30 confessions for only two Hail Marys That's what I'm saying. I like that idea. You know what I mean or make or just like have it just be cooler You know what I'm saying? Like have like a bar back there, you know where they serve just holy wine just holy wine What was why'd you say wine? I was gonna say Mama Shevets, but I think that's Jewish Sounds like it. I think it is Jewish, but like I think it's the same thing. It's holy wine Right, I mean, yeah, it's I mean to want that would be cool Make it like a cool like place, you know, like put up video games that are just like

Religiously appropriate video games. What the fuck are you talking about? I don't know. I'm trying to think of one now I can't think of it. There is none Grand Theft Auto. Nope. That's definitely the farthest from it. Yeah, maybe that's just a good example of what not to be but listen um, by the way Grand Theft Auto crazy game You know how unnecessary it is to put in that game where you could just kill anyone steal cars run people up or whatever To also make it that you can stop hog your horn and then fuck a hooker And then get out kill that hooker and pick up the money that you just gave her listen life is unnecessary life isn't perfect

Okay, but that is an unnecessary thing to put in the game I think it is something that you can opt to do or to not do I think that that tells more about the individual playing. Okay, I not about the opera. I know you have a lot I know I remember because you I didn't I never had Grand Theft Auto 3 You had it and we would go to your place and play it. Yeah, and you did a lot of the hooker sex Yeah, I did. Yeah, I did a good amount and like Well, you didn't well the thing was like so in Grand Theft Auto you would just drive up to a promiscuous looking woman How do you look promiscuous joe? Uh, you know, she's got a hooker's outfit on gotcha

You know, she's got a uniform on go a tiny skirt. Go on. She's kind of yelling. She's got a cigarette in her hand Very hookery. So that's that's your idea of a hooker. Mm-hmm. Okay um We're just adding that to fending people. Yeah So anyway, you would pull up and you would honk your horn And then she'd kind of like waltz over and lean into your car and you wouldn't have to do anything And eventually she'd get in and then the car would start rocking back and forth And then uh, you would lose like 50 bucks and then she'd get out of the car

And then Grand Theft Auto you do the weapons cheat You know l1 l2 r1 r2 up down left right up down left right. Is that really it? Yeah, it is. Wow Yeah, uh, and then you get unlimited weapons, whatever then you get out and you absolutely shoot this hooker with a bazooka Nice and then you pick up your money and that's just the way the world on Grand Theft Auto 3. I think that's more the fact You didn't even get to see anyone get sucked or fucked. Yeah It's just my car was rocking you That is more telling of you than the programmers that put it in there

And I think you have to look you have to be introspective before you pass judgment joey When you get a video game as a child and you say, oh, dude, you could bang hokey. That's the first thing you're doing I'm banging a hokey including when you're 10 11 Dude, why did my mom let me play that? Oh, I didn't kill any hookers or anything. I don't know I often think of why my parents let me do certain stuff and they were probably just like fed up with me Yeah, Grand Theft Auto is it was a crazy game. You know, I was talking about that like not Grand Theft Auto But like recently like I I don't play certain video games in front of miles And I don't watch certain movies or tv shows or miles in the room and I was like goddamn like

I don't know like am I gonna still do that? Like at what age am I like allowing him to see that stuff? You know what I mean? Yeah, my dad did that I was I always tell the story wrote my dad wouldn't let me see like the naked scene and like even titanic You know, which was just a couple of pointy. I remember that nipples. I remember that. Yeah So he would make me get out of the room or like when people would get killed in movies, you know, like and you know Really? Yeah, like in good fellas like I basically was in and out of that room every five seconds Yeah, you were just waltzing in and out

Yeah, there was a whole bunch of stuff going on in that movie But so he would always make me leave the room and then I don't even remember at what age that he was just like Yeah, whatever just let him see that shit. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like I remember from an early age. Do you think it affects children? I don't know like that's a weird because you know, I play Grand Theft Auto and I've never killed a hooker Well, that's the thing is that there there are people out there political pundits That will say that video games incite violence because that what they'll do is they'll look at You know violent offenders and all of them have played Grand Theft Auto and be like see

But what they don't tell you is that's the wrong type of reasoning. There's actually inductive and deductive reasoning And what they need to do is look at the number of people that play video games that go on to commit violent acts You know what I mean instead of looking at people that commit violent acts to play video games, of course That's going to be 90% So then saying like that that game is a you know causes they did the same thing with marijuana There were studies that showed that marijuana is not a gateway drug and they did that with fucking like m&m Like they blamed mad shit on his lyrics or whatever They went and they they talked to people that were like fucking smoking crystal meth and shooting up heroin

Like did you ever smoke weed and they were like, yeah, it's like, yeah, of course they did Yeah, you know what I mean But then if you talk to the people that have smoked weed that have gone on and tried you know schedule one or type one drugs It's like a fucking fraction. Yeah, it's like saying like oh if you wear sneakers, then you're a murderer Yeah, exactly 100% of the more sneakers all of them all of them more sneakers If you ever watched your parents have sex more than once on a Tuesday night while your dad was asking to go to sleep But your mom wouldn't let them Might have been a murderer

I don't know what I tried to follow that along. It's I'm too specific, but it's happened. You know it has I know I feel like video games are not as much to blame as seeing your parents have sex because that's more traumatic I've never seen that. You've seen it. No. Thank god. Yeah. No. Thank god. Yeah, I've never seen that at all Have you heard it? No, neither I can't tell if you have no, I'm serious. I have it. Oh, okay. Okay. I don't think I don't think that Yeah, but yeah, I don't know that whole thing is just like like weird to me because I'm like I got real serious for a sec. I'm sorry because I'm trying I'm trying to understand like why people think like if Not understand why because I'm not necessarily on either side

I'm open to the idea that it does have some effect on like children or whatever But I know that I was super young and playing call of duty and doom and like Gold and I and fucking what and then you have Grand Theft Auto, which is like the ultimate fucked up game in the world and watching, you know, these movies or whatever and I think it's tough because we had an even balance like we played video games when it was rainy or late at night When we couldn't be outside like if it was nice weather out Even if it was cold, I don't see how that plays a I think it does because if you have an even balance of being able to

escape like because video people consider video games like escapism and when You don't have an escape from that escape and that is the entirety of your reality That's what it will begin to take form of Do you believe that though? Do you believe that it's like If some kid doesn't have like a bunch of friends, so he just plays Grand Theft Auto all day then he's More likely to be violent. I don't know if more likely to be violent, but I would say that There's a level there's a level of socialization that they don't necessarily get yeah, but I don't But I'm saying like the connection to the violence

I don't I legitimately I use myself and any one of our friends as examples. We've been playing video games our entire lives Yeah, and like Violent ones at that some very violent, you know, I mean, but also some like kitty and puzzle related you know everything from super mario to tetris to Fucking Grand Theft Auto, but like we're okay, you know what? I mean, but we're also able to make the distinction that that's a video game And that's not our entire lives. Yeah, I think it would I think it's just too easy to blame it on video games like oh if you play a game that is You know like violent then you'll be more violent like I think there's just way more that goes into violence

Well, it's easy to blame it on video games because it takes responsibility off of the parents Ultimately obviously it's a harder pill for you to swallow to think that your kid killed someone because you didn't do a good job as a parent Than it is to say like oh well, it's because they've been playing video games. Yeah, like all this video game I didn't know about it like we should blame this company It's like dude first of all you let him get the video game because you didn't look into it for a one a second Yeah, and You know, but who I don't know. Anyway, is that it? No, no, no, no, no, no. No, I have something good um

I saw this thing Going back to church. Mm-hmm This is the headline go on pastor who heals people by farting on them. Oh defense himself quote I don't fart I heal and quote

Church got a sense of humor. So that's good. Well, you know the church didn't put out a statement I mean, this is one pastor that you know, where is this? I need to know Fuck, I don't know. Please tell me florida. I That's a good guess. I don't know, but I don't know I don't know, but I don't know. Yeah, you know what I said I know But no, but so I looked into the article and it said two sources from the church Uh, who didn't want to be named for feel it for fear of victimization. Obviously. Um, or

Probably being farted on and a fart attack. Uh, so they were not happening. Well, not happy with what was happening there. Um They said some people didn't mind, but they couldn't take it The farts Where does your life need to be to be like I need Blast one on me and get rid of this bad juju I have juju or whatever. Yeah, I like that, you know Uh, but there's another quote when we come to church. It's because we need prayers Not to be farted on and quote said a 30 year old man That seems like a given like I if if there were a few places on this planet

I knew I wouldn't get farted on church would be one of them quote And this quote is just it makes me sad But it's a quote it says he should pray to his god and acts to be given another way of healing people and quote Damn, that's real pain there. What that means is that this man is saying that god told him to set it off on these people I'd love to know it again if there is a god he or she Is like yo fart on that dude. What if like god is just like really fucking with everybody just like going to people like Yeah, I just want to let you know piss on them. You know, it won't really help them Just fucking let it rip on them. God just drunk as fuck. It's like, oh, dude. Just fucking fart on

Yo, honestly, dude, just just like fucking rip on them and then say safety and you're you're set Just say safety and then you're good, dude. I can't wait for the one fucking yo blast one in his ear Dude, I can't wait for him to do that to one frat star and the frat start turning around doorknobs Beats up the past hit the piss out of this fucking remember doorknobs. I do I do I haven't called doorknobs I'm someone and so long. Yeah, did anyone out there actually like ever like anyone out there Else do that where if you farted you had to call safety like immediately instant It was like playing uno and then you have one card you go uno

Otherwise someone calls uno and then you got to pick up another card and it was like violent I remember like my brothers and I it would be like yo if you didn't call safe if someone called doorknobs Fear in your heart So if you called if so if you fart and then someone else calls doorknobs before you call safety You have to run and get to a doorknob And they're just gonna beat the shit out of you until you get to a doorknob. Yeah And me and my brothers used to take it very seriously Because we had nothing else to worry about in our lives

And when someone would fart it would be and we would just tee off on them like on their shoulders Beat the shit out of them. Yeah, like you just wail on it's literally Like you have to go and I remember it because Keith was a big time farder big farder big farder and Keith used to like always like Kind of lurk on the like the outskirts of the room. So he was always close to a doorknob. He was smart He's a very smart kid. It's a good strategy to have it is if you're prone to a fart Stay near the door and I remember there were times where like we would have like friend sleepovers And someone farted and you were like in the same bed and it was like this person's dying right next to you

Yeah, they're not making it out of it. They can't you grab them. Yeah, damn. You want to have a sleepover soon? I don't I'm not a farting. No. No. Fuck the farting. I'm just saying like just like flat out Just friends sleeping over each other. I'll sleep over tonight. No, I can't tonight. That's fun. I got work Jobs um a 40 year old woman said she stopped attending church when she saw the pastor sitting and farting on another member quote That's not what I signed for I needed prayers not fart and quote

uh This is an expertly written article. I just want to make sure the world knows that I understand That what she means Where are these people that they're like I need to turn to the farder? Also, who's being like Do they call them fart father farder? You know, uh, that would be a good name, but I don't think they are But I do think that like no matter Do you know how down on your luck you have to be to be like dude? I don't know where else to go Fart on my face. Just go ahead. Literally spray fart on me. I don't have the quote anymore

But when I was reading the uh article the pastor said something like I you know, I he said something I could spin this right now. He's like I am bursting with love and joy from god It was even funnier. He said that he's like I can't He'll the church He's like I can't heal the church by just sitting on the church like I need to be Flesh to flesh and that's why he sits on people. He doesn't bear asshole Oh, I don't know about that if he's saying flesh to flesh Well, I think that that insinuates that he's whipping his asshole out dude. How do you do that on a?

That's honestly admirable. That's the power of religion that we need in this world No convince people to just fucking spray fart on their face and I'm talking like an ugly one too Tight tight asshole just fucking You know what I mean? I spit everywhere. Yeah, you did brand new table. Oh, it's all right. This table's mine. I feel like uh, I feel like um You know once once the pastor farts on you it's just That's a that's a long road. That's a slippery slope to a poop. That's yeah What do you do then also how much the holy ghost right there?

How much gas does this man have that he can just fart does he have to like only call like he's like Then he just fucking lets it go on these people Or does he just eat like shit? He's like in the middle of a sermon. He's like hold on who wants it grace get up here You were having a bad day get over here you absolutely know Chipotle last night This is gonna be a big healing he puts he puts like a mic near his asshole and he's like i'm gonna get all of you guys So And I wonder like do does he think that like the sound of the fart like makes It like it's a different message like what if these farts are not like gonna help people?

What if they're meant to just like condemn them continuously? So it's like a play is like helping them But like a is like, you know, and what if it's silent? What if it's a You know what i'm saying like What if it's a clapper? You know what i'm talking about the ones that like they like move your ass If you sit on this table and fart bear ass, it's gonna sound like gunshots. Yeah, and your balls are gonna hurt The table fucking slaps at you. I you know what we should do we should do it on this table We should do the Jurassic park test where i'll put a cup of water over here

You fart on that corner see if it fucking moves it the ripple That's called the Jurassic park test. I just made it up. That's fucking great. That is right, but isn't it jello? Well, they do it multiple times the first time is with water in the cup of the car That's true and then later on it's when she has the jello Yeah, that was a shaky bitch. That was a good-looking jello. Oh my god, dude. When was the last time you had fucking jello Not long ago. I got a five-year-old. This kid loves to eat anything. That's true, man And I had a colonoscopy not long ago crushed jello They give you jello. They tell you that you could only have uh, like green or blue jello

The fuck why not red red dye apparently fucks you're a heiny hole Apparently it like makes it look like more inflamed or something like that Oh, sweet. You ever gotten a colonoscopy? I think we spoke about this right? I should get one like in the next two years Yeah, yeah, you should let me know if you need help like not with the colonoscopy like Process, but what are you gonna prepare? What are you gonna do for me? Just be there emotionally While I pee out of my a dude. It's not pee. It's like Old faithful. I'm telling you I'm almost excited

No, you're not I'm almost excited you say that now and then you're just like you think like you drink it and you're like Oh, everything's all right. Everything's all right. And you need like I I kid you not the how many times you think you in that 24 hour period Did you poop? Defined poop P Okay, a lot But like I would say no joke like eight or nine times. That's not terrible That's a lot, but I thought you know, I was and they're not quick. It's not like you sit down

You fucking spit up and then you're out like it's It's so gross Spit up It's a whole process dude. No, I I don't you know eight or nine times in a day That seems about like, you know what I would you know, yeah, but it's not an enjoyable later nine Oh, I don't and they're like 35 minutes each. What? Yeah, they're not quick. Why I just It's like you got to wait you got to make sure it's safe. You know what I mean It's like you need to hear the ollie ollie oxen for you before you get up. Mm-hmm

It's not it's not a fun time That's another thing that I really wonder what other like neighborhoods like called that. Yeah Like what was that? It was like ollie oxen free is like you're safe Yeah, you make it to base and then like you can like freely walk around and manhunt ollie ollie oxen free Ollie ollie oxen free. Where does that come from? I don't know But I wonder what everyone else has did because I I think I saw this thing on tiktok one time where it was just like different Things it was like that thing but what they called it. Yeah regional like it

There was like some weird ones like bubblegum bubblegum in a dish. How many uh, cases. Do you wish? There was doggy doggy diamond step right in doggy doggy diamond step, right? I got it 21st finger 21st finger odds and evens Um, there's a dog in the grass with a bullet up its ass stick it in stick it out. Do you want to be a boy scout? Wait, you remember that one? Yeah A bullet in a dog's ass You gotta get it out of there. Well, you why you sticking it in and out? Seems like there's some other stuff going on. It might be finger then

But there's a dog in the grass with something up its ass a bullet stick it in stick it out Do you want to be a boy scout yes spells? Yes, and you are not it. What about no? No, it's no wasn't an option. No, it's why yes spells. Yes, you're not it So you have to stick this bullet in this dog's ass and you have to be a boy scout It might not be you're definitely a boy scout. I know that like it might not be a bullet It might be a stick It might be a you know an apple like it could be anything with like I guess like you can't get an apple on a dog's ass Why not?

Big enough dog. Maybe like a saint for gnar. There's a dog in the grass with an apple up its ass. It works two syllables and then the other one was uh, you know, um Milk milk lemonade around the corner fun just made stick the finger up the hole Now you got a tootsie roll stick the finger twice as far now. You got a Hershey bar, right? What was the point of that? I think it was just like a funny thing. I remember you taught me that in second grade Really? I taught you the the finger up the hole outcomes a tootsie roll I remember you taught me because it was one of those like we had a pizza party in class

And it was when we were pretending we were drunk on soda soda and we were smoking the pretzel roses cigars Do you remember that? No bed sounds like us. It was 100 us. Yeah, dude pizza parties when you're a kid are so fire The most important time of the year. What's the like adult equivalent of a pizza party feeling? being drunk But like what is it? Is it like oh, we're at one of those situations where we're gonna play like beer pong open bar Open bar open bar an open bar is the adult equivalent of a pizza party. Dude, dude Do you know how expensive pizza is and like what's it? What's a pie around here? Probably like 16 17 dollars

I Don't think that's what it is around here by me in jersey. It's like 15 16 dollars Dude, I was at the jersey shore the other week A pie with a topping 36 dollars I wanted a fucking scream In jersey. Yeah Jersey pizza it sucked so bad a 30 dollar pizza

If anyone knows the jersey short point pleasant janks, fuck their pizza I'm sorry janks. Fuck your pizza not you. Yeah, but that's crazy. Yeah, it was sucks 30 dollars for a fucking pizza That's you get two pikes. That's when I was delivering for portobello. Yeah It was like 15 dollars and and uh 30 cents for like a pie. That's nice But that was a long time ago. That's nice, but now I think it's like it's probably like 18 to 20 I've always liked portobello pizza. I really I enjoy it. It's good. They got a good photo over there. Oh, yeah, I got it. I got it. Yeah, you ready? Don't touch me

Um, but yeah, that's all for this week's episode of the basemeyard We appreciate all the patrons that have signed up for the patreon and are supporting the show at patreon.com slash the basemeyard Like I said before you get every episode a week ahead and you also get an extra episode every single week of me and frankie Uh, you know doing this today shooting the shit doing it. Yeah, so you can go follow Us on instagram at the basemeyard and where can I find you at the frank alvarez on instagram and on twitter and twitch If you want to come hang out with me and watch me play video games at f alvarez 8085 Yep, and uh, I believe yes now that this episode goes out. Uh, the new season of other people's lives is live and It's rolling out. We made a lot of changes to the show and it's you know, we've upgraded it tremendously and the season

We have amazing episodes give me a sneak peek of one. Nope So if you go to youtube.com slash other people's lives, you can check that out and on instagram It's at opl podcast, but love that show Thank you for everyone who's supporting that show as well