The Basement Yard - #263 - I'm Bringing The Diaper Back

Episode Date: October 12, 2020

Joe attempts to bring the adult diaper back into style. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard Frank. How's it going buddy? Oh, yeah, I wore a watch today. Oh, you wore a watch That's cool. I wore a diaper dude. I'm wearing a diaper right now Well, first of all, hold on hold on learn a diet hold on. I'm dyped hold on Yeah, take it take a big diet backwards. Okay. Yeah, I'm wearing a diaper First of all, you're not really wearing it because you're wearing it over your box Well, I did that just so because I knew I wanted to show you and I don't want people to see it Now now now you have to take your boxes off under the table. Yeah. Yeah, I'll do that Well, we get to monitor. I don't think if it's under they can't see my my stuff under the table

I knew I was gonna under the table deal. That's what the thing is. That's what they call it under there Electabuzz is making his way through our headphones. No, but I knew I wanted to show you and I didn't want people to see like You know my upper thighs fucked up. Wait, why wouldn't you want to see your upper thighs? My upper thighs are just like super white There's a lot of like hair and also like my nuts over there And I don't want to throw a nut by accident. You might as well. You know, you make a lot of people real happy Let's just say that by seeing a ball. People really are into balls. I'm not a big ball guy I'm I like balls. I don't I don't like I like my balls. You like your balls. I get it touching balls There I admire other balls, too

Do you think there's ball girls like ball lovers out there fetishes not fetishes, but girls who are like I Just love ball like a good set of maybe not not my thing Like a like the ball like balls are like earrings You know what I mean? Like they kind of like they'll distract you from like the shit in between You know what I mean? Like a nice pair of balls can make you forget about the fact that like Not a good-looking dick. I guess it's like necklaces and earrings. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's like facial hair on men No, yeah, I think it does no it covers up like yo you without facial hair stupid You're a solid seven. Whoa, that's high. You're well, you're hot guy you with facial hair. Yeah

You're like you're nine nine two nine nine eight Frankie's rankings are fucking all over We're very good at ranking hot men and something that they can actually check out on the basement yard Patriot on the patreon We just did that by the way I am fully naked at the moment like fully like penis in the wind nice Well guys go check out the basement yard patreon patreon.com slash the basement yard. I'm dived you're dived up Now I'm actually done shit now. I'm actually done. You know what you saw a nut. I know I didn't I saw upper thigh I realized why you don't want people to see you're upper you have the upper thigh of a baby Like it's just very like a big like Chernobyl baby. Oh

What they got stuff they do got stuff like me back now they have like seven thighs. I think yeah Yeah, they got me. Holy shit, dude. You literally from the thigh dude. Look you look like a baby. I'm so dived Right now, you know what's fucked up is that I walked in here and I saw a pack of Adult diapers didn't say where didn't say a thing. Yeah, very normal. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what's wrong with you I don't know. Maybe you're in just dad mode. I'll be honest with you This isn't as comfortable as I thought it would be but wait you expected that to be comfortable a diaper Can I touch it? Can I just touch the padding? You want to touch my diaper? Can I touch your diaper? I mean, that's all my fucking kake bowl. Let me see the back. You want to grab my anhole. I'm not gonna grab your ansole

Holy shit, I'll tell you though. You want to pad my diaper the padding makes you look good. Does it? Oh, yeah, it looks like I have a fat set of nuts so fat. It's crazy. Is it like what's the pressure? I am like I this is a lot for me to comprehend right? I kind of like yeah, so the reason why I even have them is not because you know I have you know, I'm just like urinating in the night and not really real realizing. Have you peed in them? Wait, have you worn them before? Yeah, yeah, I wore them once. Yeah For oh So we interviewed someone on other people's lives you guys can go check it out. That's right YouTube comm slash other people's lives

We interviewed someone who has an adult diaper fetish. So I decided like I'm jumping in on this Oh, I don't why well I and first of all Cannonballed in wearing it my pants are down my upper thigh is in the wind. So what? Yeah, yeah, and what are you playing on doing with that? So I am prepared. I don't know But I maybe I'll just pissing it on the show. Yo, if you shit your pants No, no, I'm not shit. I'm letting you know if you shit your pants when I'm in this room I will be so fucking mad at you Yeah, I might have this backwards. I second like a snapback second

Like I'm wearing like a backwards diaper like the cool the cool grandpas Yeah, but I might be shitting into the piss part or are pissing into the shit part is what I mean I mean, they're both pretty absorbent. I would assume right and the whole thing is just a big Do you do like that test that they did in like all the Pampers commercials where you pour just blue liquid? I'll be honest. I like put like a stack of quarters on it. Yeah. Yeah, I haven't done that But these are good man. They're high-grade. Are they I think so. I mean, it's the only one I've ever had I was gonna say what's your base? I don't really know Is there like this person that you spoke to that has this like diaper fetish? Yeah? Yeah, do they like eat the diaper or something?

No, no, no, why would you think that? I don't know. No, they don't eat it. I don't know they wear I know it has something to do with sex. Yeah, so there was a dude who was who had like loves dudes Or this dude, so he's gay. Yeah. Yeah, okay. That was a very easy way to get around that so he he wears diapers and His his his boyfriend wears diapers, but like I don't I'm not saying boyfriend Okay, it was like I'm getting tangled up because it's like also his little like baby Because the babies were boys. Let me so they both dissect that they both died. It was like that daddy That's the that's the verb of like wearing a diaper. They get they both died I kind of like that. It's a cool seven verb. It is so they both died

But only he Changes the other one and we're talking about peepee poop. You know I'm saying mixtures peepee poopoo adult peepee poopoo By the way, these are grown men. I you know It's good. I mean honestly good for them because that's like really committing to the if you I've said this before we spoke about it during I'm not gonna get an exclusive I thank God, but I'm saying like if you're like all about like peepee poopoo Like I respect you because what you probably get from that. Oh my god is like you probably get your rocks off, dude Probably the dopest. Oh gee

Dude, you're you're get I was gonna say you're giving out a gassy like that you've never fucking fell for just so many Gazes is it like one of those things we're like you ever heard of like the the the moms that like love the smell of their Baby shit, so they'll like smell the diaper after squeeze me. Yeah. Yeah, wait moms are sniffing dirty There's like apparently it's like a thing out there for new moms out there that They like the smell of so when a woman has a baby their body is all I'm saying it's firing all cinders. I yeah is cinders all cinders all cinders all of the cinders upon and They're like they're fucking brain is all like like they like so like

Apparently, it's like a thing that like the smell of their own baby shit. Yeah, like gets them going Oh, like horny not in a horny way. Oh, just like oh, I love my baby Like I love this baby, and now I love it shit. It's its baby, too. Yeah, but I don't like that No, I that was like one of the first questions. I asked Becca I was we have this baby. You're gonna smell it. No way back when we were like when when I knew she had miles and I was like One of those people that like likes your baby shit. She was like fuck. No, I was like damn good safe It could be different for each baby. You never know she could be you know knows dad in that diet That is my probably my the least favorite thing. I'm looking forward to about a baby. It's their shit

Oh, dude, cuz baby shit especially in the beginning they shit like black tar. Well, I know I know about this black tar shit piss Wait, why well because remember we played create all you weren't there We were playing cranium back and I were playing against well me and Becca. We're playing with my sister and Danny And there's that thing in there. That's like the mind meld. Yeah, and it's like right down the first three words that you think of So it came up baby and like two days before back, and I were talking about this black tar shit And I wrote down black tar and I was ridiculed For writing black tar and ceremoniously ridiculed. Yeah, and it was fucked up Well, I'm thinking about black tar baby shit all the time

Yeah, it's it's like it's not sick. Yeah, it's not it's not cool You gotta think about that babies are a lot man. My sister's going through it right now the other day of my Thomas's kid they were changing him and he fucking rocket shitted on his wife's face I'm putting that baby back. I'm losing a little love for that baby I I'm definitely gonna need to take a walk around the block after a baby shits in my face Oh, listen, listen, do you know how this dude? I look yeah, I I would I might square up with that fucking baby Yo, I would rather get punched in the face than spit on Do you know the distance between

Getting spit on and getting shit on it is astronomical. I can't shit on my face dude I cannot begin to express the love that I feel for this baby already and it's still in Becca's womb However, if this baby shits on me baby, I'm telling you right now Baby talking right to the baby right to you baby. If you shit on me We're gonna have to have a daddy a daddy daughter talk. It's a it's definitely gonna have to have a conversation We're gonna have to have a conversation because when you get older We're gonna punish you out of nowhere and it's gonna be because of that. I and I'm spiteful I'll be like, all right. You wait until you see what happens. I'll fucking shit the baby's face when it's like 13

I don't care. I don't give a fuck You know, just don't do it control yourself, but I will say that babies. They're born idiots and they like Would cut like apparently the teat the milk from the teat. Yeah, it goes like right through. Oh, dude. They're poopy All the time. Are you gonna try your pooping when you have a baby? Are you gonna try the milk? Oh, dude I thought you were gonna say try the poop. I'm like, what the fuck dude. No, I'm gonna tell you now Like I'm just letting like the world know not trying the poop this this poop gets on me like it's all to walk it away for a couple Gonna get on ya shed. I went to I know what's gonna I went to Shannon's house the other day and She was changing her baby and he was just crying and crying

So she picked him up real quick and then she's like looking at us, right and in this tone is exact tone She just goes He's shitting on me and then I look down and lo and behold Was it like curling out of the diaper? No, it was just falling out of him as if he spilled a jar of mustard Dude, baby, I will fucking baby's gonna poop all over. I'm just letting you know I'm gonna be pissed about it and and you're gonna be covered in piss also when actually it's a girl It's a girl. I mean they can't can they they can't be like they might rock and pee You ever heard a girl stream before a girl stream could be fucking powerful. I mean, yeah

Listen, I've heard my fair share of streams female streams, you know what I mean day I feel like that's not gonna really do a bunch of an arc as much as it's gonna be like a fucking pressure washer Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's gonna get everybody's gonna be messy. That's another thing. I'll find my piss Well, okay, cuz get ready cuz if you listen boys, they piss in their parents mouths Well, they have like stuff that first of all I get pissed in my mouth. I'm squaring up the baby No, the baby's gonna piss in your mouth. You know, you got to do you got only it over the dick And well, they have his stomach with a with a cold Compress so he's like oh and then he pisses well, they have something called a peepee teepee

That too and you get that just put the little teepee over baby's peepee Yeah, but they play games with you. They want to piss listen. I'm letting this baby No babies want to piss on people listen. I'm letting people know from an early on I'm gonna fucking control this baby and this thing pisses on me. I'll piss back. I don't give a fuck It's gonna pee all over you. What would you do if the baby starts pissing? I'm like, all right You what you asked for it? I'll tell you what I'm gonna call a government agency and I'm gonna let them know that you did that DCS Yeah, yeah, yeah DCS. What is that the new Game Boy? I don't know what the fuck Department of Child Services. That's it What's ASPCA?

That animals. Yeah, that's the animal Don't call them Hey My guy pissed on his baby. I still can't was there a cat there You pulled your shorts up because you're feeling a little insecure. No because I'm getting cold. You're getting cold It's like 75 degrees in here. No, no, I had the AC bump and yeah, it's gonna, you know, it's making my hunch Well, also, I'm sitting on a leather seat and my fucking ass is just sticking to it Dude, you your hair just stops at your leg

It does it just stops and you literally your upper thigh. It could be yours. It could be your sisters It could be anyone's for all I know. Yeah, it could be anybody's body at this point Yeah, I have hair on my legs, but not too much and then when he gets to my mid thigh It was just like no mine to my what's it where my pockets are No, there's no hair and my ass cheeks. I don't have hairy ass cheeks either That was Yeah, no ass cheek hair. Yeah, no cheek hair, but you know, but yeah I just wanted to dive up a little bit because this guy, you know

Do you did you like drink like ample amount of liquids beforehand? Are you ready to go pee pee? I'm not ready to go pee pee. Be honest. I'm trying to like whoa I've never peed from being scared to pee pee out of you. Yeah, no Scare shit out of me. Maybe if I had major diarrhea, but I don't I'm good right now, dude If you diarrhea in your pants, I'm letting you know I would we would like I'd need a raise we'd have to fight Before or after the raise I'd need to fight you bro Do you know how easily I could beat you up? All I have to do is just shit myself and then what are you gonna do? Yeah, obviously Joey. Yeah, they actually I

That's obvious. That's an obvious thing if I'm covered in shit like if I shit myself, I'll kill myself I'm like, oh, all right, cool. Yeah, you want to fight? All right, cool. And then I just take a dump, dude I'll kill myself Like that scene in fight club Dude, why do you think homeless people love fighting people so much cuz no one's gonna fight them back speaking of which they're covered in pissed shit There was there was a time that might be insensitive to the homeless, but they're not watching, you know, they're not they're not They don't really got TV. You never know a radio the fuck are we on the radio? No, that'd be pretty cool Well back baby. I we're not but listen I

One time broke up a whole fight between a homeless man and someone that we knew and I paid the price You got pee-pee done. Well, I think so because was it that homeless woman that lived under the train? No, she was there. She's always got her tits out. It's a whole thing. I will say this. She's very tan But that's very unnaturally tan unnaturally tan white woman You know she's got a lot of stuff doesn't have a whole bunch of teeth. It's sad. Yeah It's sad. Yeah, she's always yelling though. So it's like all right lady like chill But this wasn't her this was I think like oh, I'm not this is not I'm not even trying to be funny right now

But I think it was like the leader because I was like told though the leader of the homeless of the homeless on that street Okay, because I was told that there's like a hierarchy there and this dude's at the top and he has got he always wears like a Yankee hat and He's he's always like who the fuck you doing like he's always pissed, right? So he's not not to be angry about let's be honest not a nice man, so Someone was walking by we were walking by in like a group And then we were just like laughing and then the guy just like lost it and went after this kid Mikey that we know And Mikey Moe and And then you know he starts like what the fuck are you laughing at thinking he's laughing at him

He's a homeless man who's angry and he's like what and then he's like what the fuck you laughing at you laughing at me And he's like no dude We're not even talking you like whatever then the dude's like just being an asshole and like keep you know whatever so Mike He's just like yo, I'm gonna fucking knock this guy out if he doesn't like leave me alone So like I try to get between like hey guys guys chill and I go like this and when I go like this sweat It's so gross pretty gross dude It was like this man jumped into a pool got right out and wanted to fight. I was just like And then I was just like a head fight each other whatever you want to do

But there was no fight I broke up a non-existent fight and I got my fucking arm covered and God knows what that's really gross Really really gross really fucking gross I I've seen more homeless people jerking off than I've seen them fighting You've never seen a homeless person You've never seen a homeless person start fucking cranking it out in public I mean, I've seen I've seen dude. I've never seen them like actually like jerking I've seen them like just like no way. I saw this homeless guy in Manhattan slamming it dude And this guy had a fucking rocket ship. I'm telling you this was the Apollo 13 in the jeans

All right, this guy was cranking out some fucking Hail Mary's in his pants Did you see skin or did you just saw a skin? He was sitting there pants at his ankle so balls pants at his ankles balls Just fucking dude and like he had a good Like he had a good like movement. He had a good couple Yeah, you're gonna you're curling. He was that's a banana. He was moving damn like this guy like dry He was he was packing. He was he was was he was it was he had a ways to go Was it dry or did he have some sort of like, you know, I didn't get in close enough to see if there was any fucking Lubrication missed opportunity, but people were angry obviously. Well, that's not it. Yeah to his defense. There's a defense

I would assume he wasn't looking at anyone or like in particular He was just like in the sky looking I don't think that's the part that people would be upset about I know they were upset about the other part. However, it's like if you were walking by me and I'm fucking cranking one out And I'm just looking at the sky You're upset, but like you're like wow, that's someone that might really like nature. Yeah, that guy walking by and I'm just like Looking at me. Yeah, it's a little different and it's different and it's personal. Yeah, if you jerk off to the clouds That's one thing we're jerking off to me come on I mean, I wish I could jerk off to the cloud sometimes me sometimes you see a cloud you're like that looks like it's a nice cloud

Yeah, that's very fluffy looking you'd like to fly through but yeah, this guy was really going to town on himself Didn't see the finish. I was on my way home So I did I wanted to get home part of me wanted to stop Yeah, you know what that's kind of like that's kind of like watching a like you ever see a dog take a shit You're like, I don't know why but I'm watching you have to look at it I have to see this thing hit the ground. Yeah, not even hit the ground But you need to see what happened to your dog's butthole not my dog. I'm talking about just any dog Oh, well my dog too like yeah, I'll watch my dog take it you have bad dumb don't even lie

But when I see dogs taking shits, I'm like Like I'll wait at a green light even really I got to see it hit the ground And I don't even like poop or like any of that, you know, it's like a thing that I got to do it I got to watch this dog I think I get that yeah, it's like it you know that people say like oh, it's a car crash You can't look away from it's a dog shouldn't that you can't look away from I I almost think that I you know Poops might actually be you know more of a they don't get you going sexually, but it's piqued your interest You know what it is. I just feel like I don't want to quit on it, you know, I'm already here

I see I see what you're doing, and I'm gonna be here until you're done see you through I like I don't wait for the whole poop to be done I just want to see one one part of the poop. Yeah, and I'm on my way You got an abridged version of what's gonna happen. Yeah, like I can Sum up the rest you could you figure out how they're gonna happen you take a little more pop sometimes No, I mean he poops a guy picks it up, you know God willing and that's it. Yeah, you know Well, this is for you know So Joey

For this week, I actually I pulled some pictures I want to show you stuck to this thing dude. I can't I gotta pull my pants up You could show them your diaper if you wanted to well, it's it's definitely on my body. Are you like hanging out the bottom of it? Well my penile. Yeah, no, are you okay? Yeah, okay? I just wanted to pull my pants up because I'm sticking to the guy the guy Nothing sounds like you know how they say like oh wet socks suck a wet die if you were sitting in a wet diaper You know awful that would be wonder why babies cry. It's got to be terrible. Yeah, dude Like that's like you don't be a wet socks. Yeah, exactly, but imagine pissing into your

And you got a stinky wet feet. You ever been in like a body of water with a baby You ever see what happens to their their diaper if it's like not it's like not a water one it turns into like gel What you never saw that why are you in a fucking I've been into bodies of waters and there have been babies around But why are they in it if they're not supposed to be well, they're they're allowed to be in bodies of water They're babies. No, I'm talking about they're not they get the wrong diaper Well, that's that's that's the problem here is that you don't get the wrong the right preparation and they get fucking jelly You know literally it looks like jelly diaper like a jelly diaper. Oh dude. It's fucking disgusting. I don't I don't like that Yeah, yeah, or like paper dude

I'm surprised you didn't even know I was wearing this thing because I walked in and it sound like I had like a pinata in my pants Like no paper mache did it a lot of movement. I didn't even hear it You're not paying attention all the like to your my sense of hearing right now is that is at a disadvantage Well, I need to get my ears cleaned out. I need to get that like really thing one thing I will say too is that this thing and really like it does a good job of like locking in to where it's supposed to be because right now like Kind of sweaty really sweating me that's premium great elastic around those fucking parts, huh? Is this what is this made out of also? It's kind of like They're sexy in a way look at this look this looks like like underwear, you know look

No, no, yeah, no, no look it's got like ruffles on it. No, let me feel it. It feels like a petticoat Yeah, that is that's tight that is a tight tight to type. It's got a hold in the fucking piss. Yeah, and just Well, you know liquid will find its way through anything. Yeah, but you know That's a good job. I will say this in and not you know, whatever For people who actually have like, you know problems and they have to wear diapers when they're like older or whatever the health of the case may be These are actually, you know, pretty good because you would think that you'd be able to be like, hey, man I could definitely see that this guy's wearing a diaper, but you can't tell. Oh, have you gone boom-boom in a pair yet? No, no, okay, Jesus

I'm not gonna shit in a dog. Well, you got if you're gonna try it out if you're gonna shoot for the stars shoot the stars Joey If I I'll piss in it, but I'm not gonna shish You have to know no, no, no, I'm not gonna do that. You do it then. No, there you go No, because I'm not wearing one Not yet The way my life is going I might be needing one in like 30 years You never know you never fucking know my heart goes out to the people that I do have, you know, gastrointestinal issues I don't shit my pants, but like not yet. You never know where you might end up. Yeah

Never know So that note though, let's get to these ads. That's a good. That's a good ad Do we have any friends of the show for like male diapers like adult diapers? We don't but you know, it's only a matter of time before like they Start making like you're cool guy, you know musk-scented diapers Musk yeah All right charcoal charcoal whiskey All right fucking I had it. Here we go. All right next next starting

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Uh, they are great. So yeah, you can tell them I sent you. All right. Uh, so go check that out and Now We're done with the ads. I want to take off the diaper if I'm afraid Uh, I've already committed. I'm not gonna wear it. Yeah. No. No, you can't it's over You can't you have it on you got to keep it on now, right? But Something that I'd pulled up is uh, I saw a story the other day about some medical shit All right from the past

So I decided to pull up some some medical equipment That was used back years yonder to see if you can tell me what you think it was used for Now some of these might be kind of what the fuck were you watching obvious don't worry about it You don't need to worry about what I was watching Some of these might be a little obvious, but like some of them you might not know about You know, so uh, you know, you know, you're gonna be changing things up here. I'm gonna be changing things up I'm gonna show you some pictures. I'm gonna ask you to determine what you think this could be and what it could be used for All right. All right. Are you ready? Um, yes. All right. So this is our first one here. Okay. You take a look

Uh, it's it's it's a series of equipment Equipped mint. Is that like in a suitcase? Yeah, it's in a suitcase. Okay Like a traveling salesman in between having you know affairs with you know men and uh bathhouses He probably brings this out right What do you what do you see in these are all for medical these were all used in a medical practice somewhere in the world None of this is like sags. Nope. Okay. All right, so that's a thing Could this also be a sex kit? Well that big white thing in the middle Uh, just looks like a spiky comb that you would like you would probably brush a like a husky with or something

You know what I mean, uh, but I see some like I think I see some fucking Bolts and like this looks like a you know, yeah, this one was a little like a drill gun This one should be in there. Yeah, this so these these are this is this is I know what this is What is it? It's uh, you know, this is a this is a rough, you know Topic and I don't want to really go into it. Go ahead. I do think that maybe back in the day This was used for stuff for like abortions. Oh boy wrong. No Uh, so I didn't put anything really changed the tune of this Nothing in this is abortion related. Cool. Um, that's good. You know, just keeping it just keeping it off the show Joe

Yeah, um, if I had brought this up, you would have docked me 30 30 weeks of pay. Oh my god. That's what you would have done. Uh Yeah, so like there are different tools in here. So to give you an idea this right here is something called a violet violet ray generator Excuse me. Yeah So apparently back in the day, they thought that like things could be fixed with just like blasting light at it So that they like these instruments would like mostly be used to go in your ass What? Yeah, and they would just blast light

Because your ass Apparently I've light up your ass Then there would also be like like it would be for like wart removal and shit like that So like there are ones on there that they'd like put over a warp They think that the light like this is some fucking superman krypton shit like the the sun like the ray is going to just solve all the problems That's so dumb. That's really dumb. Wait. What year was this? Oh, this was in the early 1900s. I think that's way too late They had electricity So imagine you remember like those like balls that like you put your fingers on and it's like this like yeah

I used to have one in my closet. I know I know you did wait in your closet. It was in my closet Why was it only in your closet? Uh, I don't know but it was it was in like the It was in the back of my closet He used to plug it in and put my hands on and be like I could see my bones a little weird Hey, man, I was just a little closet boy. You were you you've been in the closet for a while. Well, so Yeah, basically they would use light to just like kind of get uh like the fucking Shit all off of people. It was a little I don't even see a bulb. Yeah Well, I think those like hook up to something that gives that like spits the light out

Uh-huh. Why are you so talking so violent like the light out? And uh, yeah, all right next one that one was just a little teaser. Yeah, that was to All right now this okay this one clearly wait. What is that? All right, so first of all that looks like a whisk It does look like a whisk like a night like you can make some mashed potatoes with that like nice ones like nice Make a little fluffy make them fluffy use the potato ricer first to get some air in there now We're talking. Yeah, this one is clearly for your fucking cocktail I think but maybe it was this for your cock because actually now I'm thinking about there's that rod in the middle that maybe that can be removed

It looks like a dick cage Like if you didn't want people having because I know back in the day they had like don't touch the dick don't touch my penis You know, they had uh cages that they would put around like vaginas and like dicks Like chastity belts. Yeah, it was like for like the town whore like they thought they could you know what I mean Gotcha. Yeah. Hester print was walking through and they just threw a box on that shit. This looks like an enema thing though I think this is used to gape to like get you open and then to drop drop like I mean that doesn't it's consistently thick The girth there is consistently thick. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's the final boss basically of the of the enema But it's like they have to open you up so they could put like the drops or like herbs drop herbs

Yeah, yeah, what fucking herbs were they putting you think there's dropping like fucking sage in your asshole Yeah, not sage. I mean like, you know like fucking. I don't know some like blessed raindrops or something like medicine men used this So yeah, a medical professional did use this not like a medicine man Like, you know a medicine man like the traveling like herbs, you know, he would just have like, you know At the local apothecary and shit like that. Yeah, he would like only use leaves and shit. Gotcha I feel like that's you know, or he used like the amazon rainwater. Gotcha. Gotcha. All right. I mean, yeah That has to be as

What for your ass for your ass. Is that a thermometer a thermometer? So this is called uh, Lawson's, uh vaginal washer That would wash your fucking badge. So this was allegedly Oh, there's bristles on the bristle part dude. That's that's deep into the veg. That's deep That's a deep veg right there. So they thought it was dirty in there. Well Yeah, they thought that What I mean, you gotta clean it Somehow you don't dig it. You think women are in showers digging into their vaginas and washing it. I can't say I can say Yeah, yeah, tell me about all those vaginas you've washed. I've never washed a vagina because they don't need to be washed

You idiot. Oh, they have a self washing. Maybe they don't need to be washed. What is that self washing mechanism is that vaginas wash themselves on the inside What the fuck is it? It's not like a dog's mouth. It is like a dog's mouth. I was just gonna say that Think about the similarities between a dog's mouth and a vagina both pretty deep It's also both like ribbed. You ever feel like a dog's roof of his mouth. Okay, and in a vagina There's some ribs. Okay, and it's a similarities weight Are you telling me that you fucked both a vagina and a dog's mouth? No, I felt inside a vagina and I felt inside a dog's mouth Obviously with my hands Why are you I I'm gonna call the ASPCA on fucking charlie because you're just in there fingering his mouth

No, dude, I'm trying to get a ball out of his mouth and I'm like damn this shit is ribbed in here What the fuck is this thing? It's kind of dope. Kind of dope. Never thought about it that way though I was just trying to get a ball out of his mouth. I wasn't trying to get my ball in his mouth Cheap joke comedy. No, but I think that uh, you know They don't have they don't wash people people aren't washing there. You can't put soap in your shit. Hmm. That's dangerous You might be able to no, no, no, I mean unless it's like some like organic like summer's eve some native soap, baby Uh, it's organic and it's friends of the show friends of the show free spot. That's free right there You don't get many of those. Yeah

Don't it's never gonna happen again. Fuck you. Uh, no, I'm kidding. I love you guys No, but I'm not kidding. I so this so it looks like there's a crank on it So yeah, so they would just shove it in and then just so so you see that you see like where that like tube is on the end That's where they would hook up like a like a hose Oh, they'd spray water and they'd spray water. Oh, wow There's a sprinkler system on it and they and then they'd fucking like, you know Like those old timey like fucking monkeys with a box. They'd sit there and just fucking crank it There you go. I think that's damaging to a vagina. I would assume so. I mean, this doesn't look appeal

I mean nothing seems appealing about that this item. That's big though. That's I'm scared of that Whoever saw this that's deep might not have ever seen a vagina See, I can't really tell how big that is for scale. So I don't know how big it actually is I mean, you can assume that that's not a little boy. No, you could get that in there I've seen I've seen, you know, that's at least half a peat Malina. I've seen I've seen bigger and thicker honey. Yeah In porn. Oh, yeah, I'm sure not entering. Yeah, I'm sure I'm sure okay This next one is a personal favorite of mine. Are you ready? Should be good then

Oh, wow, do you see that? We got a nice little bracelet. Uh, we got a okay That's it's a so take a look at that inspected It looks like something that like dominatrix would wear But also that's something that you would put like on a pit bull when it's like misbehaving You know, you ever see pit bulls they walk and they got the chains Yeah, it's like it's a little fucked up some spikes on there, but that looks like a bracelet slash handcuff um, I'm gonna say That uh, it's one of your favorites. So it's probably

Something oh, I thought you were saying like I thought you were saying like it's something to do with me. No, no, no It's a tough looking one Yeah, because there's only so so many places it could go. It looks like simple yet intricate contraption It looks like something that goes on your wrist, uh, but there's spikes on it. Why would someone need to cut your wrists? Um, or make something tighter. Oh, that's for your neck. They want to make their neck smaller Look at you. Is that right? No, fuck me. Fuck. I thought I was so right Because people do stuff with their neck. So apparently so this is called a a spermataria ring and

Allegedly, there was this idea back in the day that like masturbation will fucking destroy you Like it'll cause you to be blind. Hell. Yeah, my grandma my grandma used to say that Yeah, remember that there was like this idea that like if you jerk off too many times you go blind Yeah, everything was blind back in the day everything, you know, why were we being told that too close to the tv cross your eyes All blind. Yeah Uh, so so this was allegedly meant to cure unwanted erections

so that You would so that wrap that to your cat you strap it to your dick and as your dick grew which No scale for this It's pretty thick. That's a thick fucking dude Even if I even if it's as small as I could possibly like conceive that's still thick. That's pretty thick So like if your dick grew and you were just getting an unwanted big boy, you know, you hit the spikes You hit the spikes and it would like stop you What it though

I feel like it might be like a little if I'm very horny. Yeah Spikes ain't stopping this bike ain't gonna stop nothing. I'm just gonna hurt life finds a way. You know what I mean Why finds a way it's gonna like you're gonna find your way somehow some way someone's gonna get hurt. That's that's Terrifying though. We can agree on that. That's very scary and do you think back in the day? You know how they say like back in the day like the average height was smaller like everyone's walking around They were like five six. Yeah. Whoa, that's small. Well, you know, I don't know Do you think like weiner sizes were just bigger back then? Clearly. I mean, that's a fucking thick old coke can cock. That's that's a big guy. That's a yeah

You know what I mean? Like that that can do some damage that dick Of that girth could be cleaned by the vaginal fucking. Oh, fuck. Yeah, you know power wash. Oh, yeah That was yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So like thinking like apparently it was like a thing that like masturbation was like the devil Yeah, I think it I think it was Why? Well, I just you know I don't know people were just weird about sex. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like women were wearing like fucking

nine layers And like I don't know man like it was just weird shit and also which is weird back in the day I feel like dudes were having more sex. Like they were like fucking like I don't know man I feel like back in the day they they had no clue what to do Like it was just like they would hug tight and just Yo, how did women not just die of yeast infections and shit or like uti is back in the day because it's a question Mad dirty cock. Dude. I was watching this shit the other day. All right. I was watching uh true blood Okay, and there's a scene where where bill come

He comes out of the ground butt naked Covered from head to toe in dirt And just straight up Fucking goes to town on shuki. Yeah, right there. That's a uti. And that's what I said I was like, that's a yeast infection or something back. I was like, what? No, it's not. I was like this guy's covered in dirt Yeah, that's a uti at the men Do you know what I mean? Like imagine just putting just dirt

On a fucking dildo and just You know what I mean? That's permanent damage, baby. That's like that's you're getting you got a problem on you You're gonna start to grow worms. Maybe, you know, we knew someone that that that got a uti at a beach Because a little bit of sand, you know what I'm saying like ocean water Well, that is salt that cleans you doesn't it dude. I don't know when you are young If you ever go in water and like you accidentally inhaled water in your butt What you never did that. How did I you sucked water with your ace? You're like You in your butt. Yeah, what are you doing out there? It's an accident. I'm saying I'm not doing it on purpose

It's an accident. My my asshole accidentally takes in a cup of water Let me say this my butthole starts at close and I have to really open it up For it to be open. So how do you accidentally while swimming open it up? Well, you just like you take a deep breath or something or like you get a little shocked because it's a little cold and something I've never sucked salt water in my ass. You've never you've never done that? No, but I imagine it's good for you because like when you get a fever, they're like I'll gargle with salt water It's like an enema. It's like an enema. Yeah, so you probably have a cleaner butt than me. Oh, I can very much So guarantee I don't well that day you did

Um, yeah that day. I probably did. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, you gargled with salt water. Yeah. Yeah I was I was butt gargling bargling Bargling is the bargling is the medical term right there. Yeah. All right moving on I'm gonna get one of these for you. Don't get it. I'm gonna do it All right. I mean, well, this is this is a pretty pretty straightforward concept Yeah, the only thing that I'm worried about is, you know What they're made out of because they look like, you know, bullets that were kind of shaped into butt plugs Uh, I think those are for enemas

To like get you good get you going. Okay. Get you loose. I like that It has a little handle on it like that that's an ergonomic design there It is because it'll stop it from getting fully sucked in Because had that been the same shape on both ends, we're talking about getting sucked up into your body And then we're gonna need a medical professional. That looks like a pacifier Let me tell you in the hands of the wrong person after a wrong day. You might you might end up with that in your mouth. Yeah You know what I'm saying? No, it looks Do you ever look at something and do you think like it? I know it would kill me if I ate it or drank it

But I want to but I want to yeah. Yeah, I would suck the hell out of this thing You know what I'm talking about I would suck the fucking chrome off of it Yeah, those look like very old those look like they were uncovered Like, you know, I'm saying but the way that like kids were also treated back in the day These could be pacifiers, you know what I mean? Yeah, that was crazy. They're not though. They're they are for your asshole Yeah, they're they're called well, they're called rectal dilators Right, they dilate and they make you see how they get fatter

But like why would you need to dilate an ass? So apparently Back in the day the drops there was like this what remember I said, oh, yeah Yeah, you're dropping in peppermint oil or some shit. Yeah back in the day. It was this fucking concept that like All roads in your body led to your asshole. Is that not true? I don't think it is. I think like the veins don't There's no blood in there unless unless you got a problem. There's some stuff. Yeah, you got a problem but like no Like maybe your organs in one way or another like you technically have a straight shot from your fucking mouth to your butthole

Yeah, I mean, it's you know, it's a windy road, but like not everything connects that right? No, no Yeah, that's what i'm saying. You got other organs and stuff like that Yeah, it's a very lazy way of thinking about the body, honestly bingo Our body is basically just a lazy river for fucking food. You know what I mean? It starts and it just like fun Moses on by you ever wonder what happened inside like your intestines You know what I think about I think about corn a lot because Corn just does what it's wants. Dude, you know, it's just insane like you eat stuff, right? Even stuff that's hard and you swallow it and then your body like has those acids and it breaks it down and it becomes poo poo

But corn it's just Impenetrable and we still eat it. The corn is literally what it is an anomaly. I'm sure if I ate a screw It wouldn't come out a full screw. I don't know about that. It'd be a little burnt Or like, you know a little little eroded. I don't know What I just see I could just screw would just screw I don't know I think that our body was meant to eat certain things not corn and apparently not corn No, dude, corn just kind of hangs around too corn corn and me have a weird relationship Yeah, corn overstays its welcome in my body if I eat a corn on the cob

It's like, you know what I'm saying like the first day fine, but like dude, we're talking three days later. Where were you guys? Why are you coming out now? They overstayed their wealth overstayed. I got that. I got only paid for two nights But yeah, apparently like they felt that like all roads in your body led to your ass Which in one way or another It all does I will you know starts here and maybe not scientifically But it all does one way. Yeah, and like most things could be cured with just shoving this at your butt But like I don't understand you're gonna start seeing a trend here

Okay, we're gonna move on to the next one So, okay, so I I'm getting a little bit of help from the uh from the sign that says healing below the belt Uh, obviously this also goes in your fucking asshole. Yeah That looks like is that a blue light bulb again with the light again with the light. We're back to lights. Okay, so You screw that light bulb into your lamp All right, because you want to emit blue light and then You shove the other end into your ass and you turn it on

So you electrify your ass. You think you're just getting a jolt in the high knee. Yeah, I think you think that's how they turn up Oh, that's There's something about this. It looks like rosary beads. So I hope it's not like, you know what I'm saying Oh, wait, what's that say? Prostate gland. Oh, wow. This might be dope. Wait. What did you just read? Doesn't say prostate gland. What the fucking you read? On the right. It's just yeah, the name is on there. Oops Is it it's a prostate gland. It's something for your prostate. Duh, so they They go in they go to town. It's a warmer. So apparently that would fucking like get it hot

Oh my god, this actually didn't sound the worst in the world. No, it doesn't also my prostate been hot Been hot especially right now. It's on fire on fire right now in this diaper. Oh, yeah, you're heating up I'm heating up you're heating up but like think of like how nice it would be You know how like people get like hand warmers and foot warmers. What have you just popped this bad boy up there? It's got a warm fucking warm body. It's like heating from the inside out Yeah, because that is the like Incinerator of your body or what's the word? I think it's already been incinerated by the time it gets there Now, what am I talking about? Like what's that word the food processor?

No, it's like what's the heat thing the fucking uh, you know, whatever Furnace the furnace of the body. I don't know if that's what that is. Dude, you tell me right now if your fucking Gooch is hot You're hot Well, listen, am I yeah, yeah, you're not wrong But that is the room in the titanic with the dudes shoveling the coal. Oh just like into the furnace Just like shoveling coal that you think there's like a little fuels the ship You think like our whole body is dictated by if our gooch is warm, you know, that's why your balls shrink

Because because like your body's cold So they get closer to your body to be warm because the closer to the furnace of your body. Yeah, exactly Yeah, yeah, that's why your dick shrinks too Well, yeah, I yeah, that's why it literally is like trying to like get back like so it's warmer back here Warmer back here closer to the body. Yeah, but yeah, this would apparently again People thought that like most illnesses could be cured just by shoving something in your butt Yeah, which you gotta think how many people died because of that. Well not died How many people just had a really bad time or you had a dope time most

You know what most like pecking fetishes probably come from like they're like the third removed grandson of like some fucking 1900 doctor, you know, it's crazy about the bud When something's inside It's either the greatest or the worst. It's never okay It's either like y'all because like the dude's g-spot. You can't live with it. Yeah, or like you're like, uh, damn I'm getting this prostate exam and this is so weird this old man his finger in my ass and it's also not pleasant If you're not expecting it, obviously Uh, but I'm just saying it's kind of it's a polarizing part of the body. That's all I'm saying

Yeah, it's I've I've gotten like a rectal exam and it's very you're right. It's very uncomfortable Now I've never had something in my butt and been like this is nice You know, I was trying to get at that in the last episode where you had to like cream yourself Oh, that that wasn't fun. Yeah, that wasn't fun at all Uh, what about if it was warm? That might that's the other thing is that that medicine was cold So it might have it probably made it a lot more. Yeah, if it was warmer, you never know, you know, you never know But cool. Wait, what's the light bulb for? Uh, it's the light. It would it would heat it up

Okay, you know what I'm saying Um, it literally was like a like you plugged it in It was kind of crazy. All right. This one this one is kind of self-explanatory this next one So did you what what what fucking show were you watching where it was just straight anal of ship? Clearly you sit on that and it tickles your inside. No, so so I mean the wording is there, I guess But like don't read the wording as much. You already read it. You're reading it. It's already done, right? The rector Can you not read? Fucking kidding me the rectorer

No, rector rector Tor rector. That's hard to say rector rotor Okay, but you have to say it as one word rector rotor rector rotor. No, there's a space in between the two words Is there because I can't see from it. No, that's not is that a space. There's a space I don't know if that's enough space. First of all, if you didn't know by the picture, it's in a class of itself Yeah Stands on its own. Wait, so where does it say the latest and most efficient? Invention for the quick relief of what's piles. I guess pile like it's not just self-explanatory like piles

Consipation and prostate trouble Wait, what's piles? So this would literally this was meant as like a fucking like you ever Rotorooter, you know like the the plumbing guys they come in and they do roto root you doot-toot. You know what I mean Yeah, I guess so it so if you're a constipated people are just trying to plunge it out of you Basically, this was a human plunger But that works. I don't know It's not like a plunger as much as it's like just like shove it all in and then just like fucking pull it out Yeah, do have you ever been constipated?

No, I've actually had the opposite My my body just Eviscerates anything that comes into its body. Yeah, you'd be excited for some constipation. What'd you I would that would be nice every now And then yeah, I guess Uh, but no constipation man Crazy, isn't it? It honestly feels like yeah, I've only been constipated like one time, but it honestly feels like You're Like you have a kettlebell strapped around your body

Really? Yeah, and it's it's like a heavy Compact feeling on your oh like like you're just walking around With just like heaviness. Yeah, and weight dude. What is this? It sounds like you have fat Paul like it's like just That sounds Or and honestly feels like there's a guy under you just pushing up on everything I can't figure out if that sounds awful or not the worst in the world I recognize variation, you know, I mean, I don't mind a Diarrhea every now and again, you know or any constipation you disgust me piece of shit

Not the dehydrating diarrhea just a nice You know one off. I think I read somewhere that diarrhea is actually not as a result. It's as a result of dehydration Really? Yeah, it's like there's not enough water and it just gets rid of all of it Or something. I don't know. I don't know. I'm not I'm not a poop expert. You're not are they're poop doctors Yeah, gross. They're proctologists. Is that what they are? Yeah, the ass man from Seinfeld. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah proctologists And this one That's a belt. I mean, you can see you could see what it's called news You can see what it's called. Tell me you tell me the dr. Bell

Oh, by the way, this is a picture of something that's also a but rotaru thing That's a drill for your asshole. You can drill into the earth's core with that. You basically can What do you see here? This is this is uh a belt and I think those two holes are for like You're either your balls or your ass cheeks. I think those are for your ass cheeks And like they it shocks you You said it was all butt stuff for the most part. I mean, I said it. We saw a trend

I don't know man. That's like a chastity belt. I'll say like they stop you from banging somehow they electrocute you So What do you think the like strap on the front is for? Are you talking about like the noose? Yeah, I think you put your penis in that you put your people What's it for though? Like what if if I if I showed you this and said joey, I'm here to cure you of something Um, what do you need curing of of a rectile dysfunction? So you put your dick in that Oh, just get it like fucking jumpstart and then like jump you like, you know what I'm saying?

They elect you just like jolt you and then they they have the the thing in the front and it kind of brings it up Oh, so it's meant it's meant it's basically like your dick is frankenstein's monster. That's a mechanical viagra That's not a bad, you know, that's actually not the worst that could work But as you can see it's the this is like the electro appliance belt And it was made to make it was for a made-up disease Uh, basically the dick would as you were correct would go into the loop in the front And it would electrocute you and it would like Use us like it had to be like in a solution

Of like acid and vinegar and shit your penis the whole thing And like it would electrocute you to like cure this something called neurostenia Which was a made-up disease from the night from way back, which was stresses of urbanization Stresses of urbanization and the pressures placed on the intellectual class by the increasingly competitive business environment That's sounds racist. Is it it's got it. I mean everything from back then was racist With symptoms including headache and impotence. So in a way, you're right This was basically for like, oh, I'm so, you know, the old business make-up. I was like, honey

I Yeah, I'm tired from making all the money smoking cigarettes drinking scotch and banging my fucking secretary. I think I lost the account today And uh, my dick doesn't work. Can you call the doctor? Meanwhile, your dick doesn't work because you were banging hookers at work. Yeah You didn't take panacea and the only thing that gets you going is the thrill of fucking taking cocaine in your office You know what I mean hitting on the fucking Secretaries and then using racial slurs because that's what they all did back then This was all meant to just bring out how racist everyone was back then right john ham in uh,

Fucking what's it called? Speaking of We remember john ham We'll get into that Well, we got into that on guys got an 8k quattro siete in those pantalones. Let me tell you I Guys No, but I was watching a lot of madmen and like Watching a lot of what am I saying? Like I watched like the first season of it

It's okay, but um, anyway, so It was just crazy how in that show uh First of all To be a woman in that time Absolutely hilarious, huh? Oh, yeah, imagine being a woman now being a person Okay, relax still tough Not like that. Yeah, obviously they walked by like, hey sugar slapping asses fucking fingering

Public not in season one. I haven't seen I haven't seen. Oh, you don't know what happens after season one But everyone's smoking cigarettes and drinking scotch literally the entire day that the cigarettes party, you know Up my stock up my up my gooch But the scotch stuff. I wish I can drink and work a lot. I don't know man Let me tell you. You know how cool it would be to be drunk at work You ever been Yeah, I guess you have been drunk at work. Yeah, I guess you have you stupid bitch I have done that. Yeah. Uh, have I been drunk? Yeah, I have well when I used to work the like a day job

There was a there was a A taco place downstairs like rape will know our office So sometimes for lunch we'd go down there and get tacos and just get loaded because they had fucking deals On like happy hour shit. It's like I'll get a beer and a shot for six bucks. I'm like Yeah, yeah, those are the tough ones. Those are the tough ones. You got to avoid. Yeah. Wahoos. It was called Wahoos. Oh, yeah, that was when uh worked in Manhattan, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, dude Good stuff and I'd come back to work. I feel like I can't edit. Yeah

I fucked. Yeah, I wish I I wish I could be drunk for work You know, we should do that soon. Yeah, we bring back the dirt wolf We oh bring back. I already looked in the supermarket downstairs. There's no dirt. We'll find some dirty bitches That's not the problem. Listen. We'll go back to long island city and get the dirt Listen, the dirt is at the bench the raging bitch. I think the raging bitch is downstairs that we could find easy Yeah, a dirty bitch people have been clamoring for us to bring that back dirty bitches want to make something very clear It would be a very bad idea For us to do that because like a lot of editing

Yeah, basically Josh this would be Josh's worst fucking nightmare. Oh, yeah, Josh clear schedule. Yeah, Josh. We have to clear schedule Uh, but yeah, some of those were pretty interesting. This is obviously my favorite one the uh the the spermatoria ring clasp Yeah, that one's not sick. What would you do if you just woke up with me putting this on your dick? Well, let's back up. What would you do if you woke up with me playing with your dick first off? Yeah, that would be a whole conversation. It'd be a long talk. Yeah, I'd say hey frank. Where would you lean though? What does that mean? Like would you be upset? Would you want to fire me? I'd be confusion You'd be confusion that makes sense. I can work with confusion. I'd be like, what are you?

I can work with you. I can work with confusion No, you can't I think I can but I'd also be very not cool with that But or you might be super into it and I might get a raise Right. No, I won't. You might be. Did you pee? No, I didn't pee in it. I kind of want you to pee now Well, I don't have to pee. I haven't really drank a lot of water today. I already took a big big big big piss earlier. Really? Oh, yeah, aren't you doing that fasting thing? I don't know if I've met anyone that has gone through as many dietary fucking like I like to experiment. No, I'm not I'm not dieting. I mean, I'm not fasting for like a diet

I'm just seeing how long I could do it. I remember I once when you were in long island city I came to your place and you were like, yeah, I'm doing this intermittent fasting thing I'm like, oh cool. Cool. Cool. And you were like, yeah, you know how they say a breakfast is the most important meal today I was like, yeah, and you were like, that's a myth. I was like, no, it's not. I think it is a myth No, it isn't dude. They also used to say the food pyramid was a thing and that literally destroyed the human race Okay, I don't know if it destroyed the human race. We're doing okay. Completely fucked up everything the food pyramid But the fact is that breakfast is literally what it it's in its name. It's breaking the fast starting your day off on the right Movement if you're breaking your fast and technically it's not breakfast. Yes. Also like

It's in the it's in the name. I don't like breakfast foods in the morning Yeah, I'm weird with my breakfast too. I I what do you eat for breakfast? Like either you have cereal, which is poison We've gone over we've gone over this. Yeah, or you have eggs I love eggs cholesterol unless you have egg whites, which are like cool. It's like it's it's all right cholesterol Yeah, if you have high cholesterol, you probably slam eggs all the time like probably not good for you Oh egg whites. I get it. They're cool. Also, but you can't look like Looks like jizz looks like jizz looks like shampoo jizz. Yeah Um, and then what I don't even like ah people have fruit. Oh french toast and pancakes. Yeah. Well, we just have birthday cake

Yeah, the fuck what are we doing? Yeah, people have fruit. You know, I actually have been starting my morning sausage I've been starting. Oh sausage. Just have a whole fucking just order chinese food. I've been have The best salt I've been having uh, I've been starting my mornings off with a fresh juice. I've been juicing my own juice Say that start off if you want to have a juice. That's fine. You know, it's juiced apples carrots beats spinach Ginger I almost dropped that so with beats you've been having beats. Yeah, you poop red There's some red in there. It's it's in the bowl. I won't I can't confirm that it's like you're it's not like your Shit's coming out looking like fucking clay, right? You know what I mean, but there's there's there's a hint It's tough too because we have a black toilet bowl

So it's not right. Yeah, we have a black toilet bowl. Wow So it's not really the term is african-american, but okay. Sorry my afro-american uh toilet bowl So, uh, it's not really you're not really able to tell that's why I can't really always tell like how like Hydrated I am because I piss into the a fucking void of darkness. I mean you could You could see the strain You can but I have this complex and people that know me know that this is one of the weirdest things about me is I have to

It's not like a thing anymore. It was fun for like the first couple of months I now it's like a it's like a weird thing that like as I'm peeing I flush the toilet and I try to see what finishes first My pee or the toilet. Yeah, but that might be two flushes So How often do you get a two flush? Not frequently. I'm pretty good. I've got the timing down pretty good But like I'm just trying to conserve time You know what I mean? Not that I'm sitting at the end watching the toilet flush

But like you literally save zero time. I save a lot of time. No, you don't. Yeah, I do You saved this amount of time Done peeing boom. That's it that time bang No, because because then that bang then you need to go wash your hands So if I'm peeing bang and then as soon as I'm done I wash my hands you get that millisecond back Which a millisecond is a thousand milliseconds in a second So if I do that a thousand times if I pee on average three times a day If I do that for 300 days

So a year I get a second back in my life I Think that math checks out, right? I was gonna give you like 13 seconds, but you know, you know what those might be critical 13 seconds critical ones Super critical. Yeah, that's kind of crazy that you do that. Yeah. Well, what do you do? Not do it Just do it. No. Yeah, why not? I'm not I'm afraid of those kind of things I feel like I've tried to do that before but I'm like, I don't want to double flush. I'm wasting

What's your how you feel about peeing in public Like I'm not saying like in front of a fucking school school class I'll drop major piss in front of people. I don't care. Yeah, right. I used to I used to do this thing Long time ago stash your limitations done Where I would pee and walk at the same time Do you remember that? Do you remember that? Yeah, he wouldn't tell anyone. He would just walk ahead and then all of a sudden I'd be like One what's that smell also? What's that sound? What is this thing on the floor and I would and but that's this trick

Is that you get caught peeing in public because it looks like you're peeing if you're walking down playing on your phone And it looks like nothing is happening. They're not going to be like, oh This kid's peeing. What if they see your penis out? With piss coming out of that then can you got a problem? Then you have a bit of a problem on your hands, right? Yeah, but if they don't I mean, that's why you do it at night You don't do it during the day I feel like you're more safe just like, you know Make it look like you're pissing because if a cop comes over like, hey, what are you doing?

You have some tiny bag. Oh, no, I'm doing origami. No, but then they can look in front of you and see that there's doing origami What cop would think you're fucking doing origami with your dick That would be a good that's the next time if I ever get caught pissing in public. I'm going straight for the world. What? I'm look a bird Pull the tail and the fucking head comes down Oh, yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, I guess we can wrap this up. It's been a ride I hate it. I need to take this diaper off stat. No, you're keeping it on. No, please. No Can I? Yep, nothing go

No, I was gonna say where can they find you, but if alvars 8085 on twitter and on twitch and then the frank alvars on instagram Coming out with me on twitch play video games is a lot of fun Guys go check out our patreon at patreon.com slash the baseman yard where you guys get every episode a week ahead And you get an extra episode of the baseman yard every single week Okay, patreon.com slash the baseman yard when we get to five thousand Patrons we're going to do the one chip challenge and then record an episode, which I'm really not I'm actually legitimately scared about

Because I've seen a lot of people cry and I said five thousand five thousand We put a goal for four thousand. I don't remember what it is though. Do you remember? I don't uh, but I'm afraid I don't when I could I lose sleep over is the one chip challenge Yeah, and we're gonna like not only like we're gonna do it. I actually have a plan for that episode if and when we ever get there I'm gonna have a whole thing of almond milk right next to me You can have whatever you want it ain't gonna help and I'm gonna tell you something I have a plan for our episode I don't like when you look at me side-eyed

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