The Basement Yard - #266 - Is That Your Boy Or Your Babe?

Episode Date: November 2, 2020

Joe has a weird thought pop into his head at 2am & decides to bring it up on the podcast. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. Frankie, how's it going? Oh, it's saw man. Hold on wait. I'm farted. God damn it What a good start. It started off with that What a good start. Can I ask you a question because like I've been meaning to get this off because I did this thing this morning And I feel like I feel I didn't notice but I've done it so many times in my life. Here we go. In the shower, right? And I'm not talking about jerking off even though I used to do that used to jerk off with shampoo You had a clean dick. Yeah. Yeah, I used to jerk off with shampoo never conditioner though because it's a weird consistency I got a story. I can't tell you on the podcast. I'll tell you about it after you put sunscreen on your shit Not sunscreen. No, I would not I didn't do that either

I swear to god I didn't do that one that one. I didn't shampoo conditioner anything that's in the shower Yeah, anything soft body wash soapy slam my dick with that hair gel been there done that well We know that about you. Yeah. Yeah, uh, no, but I used to jerk off a shampoo like crazy, dude Really sudsy penis just like fucking tressa mate in the hand and then just going to town dude You have no idea sometimes it was this is stupid looking back on our strategy I used to wait until after I was done my shower and then jerk off in the shower standing there with the water off But then like people could hear me Why would I do that? Why would you stay in the shower because I was like, I mean a dumb idiot?

That's what you were. Well, yeah, but also like I'm in here. What am I going to step outside and jerk off on the on the mat No, well, see you're you're you're yeah, you were right. You're I was a very dumb. I was a children You were in the children demographic. Yeah, but I used to I used to do that But no, but today as a grown man I uh, I want to know if you ever done this you ever like take your the skin of your nutsack and turn it into like a bird bath Oh, let water fill in it. Oh, no, what? No, you've never done that. You've never listen. Take your balls I know what you're telling me to do. It's not making it Take your balls. Don't ever fucking shush me again. Shut up. Don't ever shush me

You're about to be mind-blown because you're gonna go home and have a fun time First of all, I always I always find a way to have a good time in the shower. Don't worry about me Well, now you got more ways take the skin of your balls Yeah, and stretch it out Right and then make it like you got to stick your fingers in it So you'd make it like you make a cup like you like you're fucking like you're doing some pottery like you got to put it in Exactly exactly. Yeah. Yeah, and then let it fill up with water And then you have a little nutsack bird bath and then you could flick your finger around and knock water around everywhere

Dude, I've done that so much if you're not using the tip of your dick as like the little bird though No, I'm not. I'm not. See, that's where you fucked up. No, but I can only have so many I have other ways I have fun in the shower. Do you ever like what I do? We're not skipping over the bird bath Oh, wait, we should if we're being honest. I can't believe you've never done that. I feel like people will do that Do you think there is a collection of people that just make bird baths out of their their fucking nutsacks? They're stretchy sack. Yeah, no way. I like want to do it for you right now. Please Like I can yeah, you can it's hard to I mean, this is yeah You know what I mean? I can't just fan out on youtube make maybe not only fans

Is it in decent exposure if it's just your balls? I feel like there's different balls. That's a really good question I don't think balls are obscene. I think it's the pp. That's obscene. Well, obviously that's disgusting That's why they call it the obscenus, but if you just saw like balls I feel like balls are like Like balls are like side boob. You know what I mean? Like you can wear them out Yeah, it could be an accessory. It could be part of your outfit. I agree. You know, that's a perfect way of putting it That's a great cocks like yo, you can't just fan out. Take it easy. You know what? I mean We as a side are weirdly strangely obsessed with nipples for some reason

So bad so crazy, but I'm saying like let's bring it out like how girls will like You know like side boob it up fat. Let's start boob. Let's start side balling it ball boob Let's ball out side ball boob balling out ball it out. I like this We might have you know, we might be trendsetters. I think we're on to something With that being said don't fan out your balls. Please don't yeah, we'll tell you where you can do that though patreon.com Slash the basement yard. You could show your balls to anyone that you want on there. Don't I don't know if that's even true Don't say that No patreon.com slash the basement yard

You get an extra episode of this show every single week And you get promo codes for merchant shit and you get every episode a week in advance Yeah, and you also get an opportunity to win a thousand a doll hairs, baby And who doesn't need a thousand dollars a thousand dollars. That's a good amount of money Exactly. So go check it out right now patreon.com slash the basement yard. I still uh need to wear a tape suit since we hit 4 000 That's a fact. Uh, that's Going to suck. Yeah, um, but back to what I was saying before Do you ever like lay down in the shower and pretend you're waking up in the middle of the rain?

That's like a good old pastime of mine. You you lay down. I'll lay down and be like Frankie, when are you waking up in the rain? Are you have you been homeless? That's the point. It's a fantasy You fantasize about being homeless in the rain. I guess not about the homeless part. That would be really sad But like just like you Oh, and there's rain everywhere. I like the rain dude. I get that but like waking up But like it's like, you know where you are and I always like put the rain so it's like dripping over my head I'm like, where am I and I always do this, you know, just try to like Me mr. Bird bath balls over here. Hey, man

I'm the weird person just because I'm pretending that I'm waking up in the shower as you're sitting there And you're literally creating some sort of a fucking fountain of life and fountain of youth with your balls Yeah, man. I'm trying to uh make somewhere for the birds to bathe So you want to you're in the bcality. I mean, no, I'm for the environment and you're selfish This is all about you and your fantasies. I'm about saving the environment and making sure these birds are clean First of all, I'm trying to put myself in a scenario. So if I do ever wake up in the rain, I know exactly what to do What is it? Grab a bar of soap right near me Grab the nearest bar of soap now. I know I don't really lay down the shower

You lay down the shower not as much of my current shower in my old like every other shower I've had this is like a tub I'm fucking spreading out. I'm hanging. I'm living it in there, man Do you ever throw your legs behind your head and let the shower hit your fucking sometimes sometimes under carriage sometimes I do I'm a big, you know, we've spoken about baths But like sometimes I would just like literally just like put my whole body under the water and just put my legs straight in the air Let me ask you a question straight up. Let me ask you a question and don't you lie to me I won't ever do that. Don't do that. I won't because you'll fire me. Have you ever Have you ever been laying on your back and pissed straight up in the air?

100,000 times. I've never done that. What? But it sounds like mad fun You just set me up to look like an idiot. No, no, no My unborn daughter is gonna see this and she's gonna be like daddy Questions for you. Also, she's gonna. Oh, uncle Joey went that night and pissed in the sky Because that's exactly what I'm doing later. You're doing it later because it's like at some point, right? Because like p comes out at some sort of force. It has to I don't know the psi But I know that it's a force. It's it's that's pretty good But I want to know how high I can get it before it starts breaking not as high you you'd be surprised

I mean if you're holding something in there for a couple if you got what I like to call the hard rain Which is when you have a boner in you pee then you got some four spot. You got some power Dude, pain when you have a boner is just you got some torque behind that stream. All right guys You know what I'm talking about girls. I don't you don't get boners But like I guess lady boners like you pee pretty hard for those right I wonder if there's an equivalent because like with guys like I know there's like a duct with like Pissing giz where your dicks like so it's like the road like it's like Robert Frost's poem

Like there's one side this way one side's that way if you're super boned and your body's like oh, we're gonna be coming soon It like shuts this duct so that urine can't get in there genius, right? Yeah, whoever thought of that little plumbing system. Whoever thought of that. Good job. God. I'm wondering if there's an equivalent for women If it's like they're they're all wet soaky Happy fun, but see it's tough Wet soaky happy fun. Yeah It's tough because with men and with women Men it's you know, you got one entrance one exit in the pp. You know what I mean with one entrance

What's you enter in your dick? Oh, but you know what I mean? I don't know what there's one hole All right, I know I know I've said hole I used to stretch my dick hole open not stretch it open. Oh boy. We'll ask about that shortly back up to that We'll we'll ask about that shortly. Um But the girls have multiple holes and I believe there's one hole that is for one thing and one hole is for the other Yeah, it's it's swiss cheese and people love what? Holes man. Oh, you're right. You are right. It does it forms over a lifetime Right. I like that people love when we talk about women's anatomy because guess what we know

I'll tell you what I look like a fucking genius right now because I had posted a clip On um tiktok because there's a basement yard tiktok. Yeah. Yeah, uh go follow the basement yard tiktok dot something If you go on tiktok if you have a tiktok, there's a basement yard account on there It's at the basement yard, but I posted a clip that went like viral. It has like 300,000. Whoa Big shot. Yeah, it makes you look like a fucking idiot surprised because it was the uh, it was the clip where we were talking about Uh, how the vaginas like clean themselves. Yeah, and everyone was like, oh, we stan an educated man And I was like I am I don't even know why I'm gonna stan. I'm not I guess I've not been stand here

No one's standing. No one is standing with me. Yeah, they can barely stand you Dude, fuck you Back to the shower No, no, no back to me stretching open my dick. Well, I didn't want to get there yet. Why though um, so This you know when you're super young and you just have Do I no, no, no, that's not where I was going But I was gonna say that I just have these random memories from when I was very young and I remember sitting on my couch

And I was so young to the point where like it would be it wouldn't be weird if I was naked Right, so whatever that was like four. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm like looking at my dick and I'm like talk Basically like doing this. Yeah, like talking. Yeah. Yeah with my p-hole. Okay And shannon got so fucking mad and told on me just like joey's playing with his penis And I was just like no, I'm not and like a dude. I was I was and I'm sorry shannon stan and we're so sorry. I don't know why I'm apologizing. Yeah. Yeah, you're fine I mean, you know, I'm sure there's things I did that were really dumb I probably had nothing to do with my p-hole, but you never know I do know not no

No, yeah, I I never did that but I never stretch I was never like I knew it was there and I was like, you know, just like let it fucking exist in its own plane of existence I don't need to play with my p-hole. You don't play with your ballsack. That's so No, I didn't say that you see pleasure. Oh god. Are you kidding me? The moment I sit down on my couch Hands in the pants. Yeah, instantly and I'm not like doing anything. I'm just like It's like I'm I'm I'm spelunking in there. You know what I mean? I'm just kind of like moving You're just there. It's like my it's like kids obsession with ooze. You know what? I mean, you don't know why you need to put your hand in it

But you want to feel it you do I know and like dude, it's so weird how like ball skin is so like dead Like you could put it on the thing and slam it with a hammer and nothing would happen Yeah, it's not the ball. So it's not the ball skin Or the pp that is sensitive. It's the testicles themselves testicles urges dude. Those things are so sensitive So sensei and it's ironic that they are put on the outside of men You know what? I mean like they're like they're to be like punching bags basically they look like punching bags They do Side note if you have that thing on the back of your truck that looks like your truck has balls

Dude, maybe throw yourself off a cliff drive off one stop drinking mountain dew in the morning and having sex with your cousin at night Speaking of I saw the smallest dick in the world the other day at target Do you saw a dick at target? I didn't see the dick. Oh, you were assuming this person has a small dick. Okay, it was a hummer Small dick stop there now listen license plates One word pussy Thanos Whoa, dude, dude, that guy's got a fucking dude

Dude dude, we're talking tic-tac In the knickknacks, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah, this guy's got nothing to work with Thanos Thanos, I'm big Thanos. Yeah You know, I'm all about my marble stuff But the smallest dick I could imagine was on all he needed to complete the color was it yellow All he needed all he needed to complete the small dick trifecta Was those that headlight thing that makes your the headlights look like fucking evil eyes You know what I mean? So I was like, wow, did it have a step ladder to get up?

I didn't I saw the license plate and I instantly drove off Through the fucking doors of target. Yeah, I was bringing that whole store down with me Yeah, that's that's upsetting. Yeah But anyway today I wanted to do something with you because all right, so Sometimes I like when you think of things to do with me. It makes me feel honored Loved and a part of your life shut up. Thank you. Uh, so anyway, um, I fucking When I Think of something no matter what time it is

I like write it down and yesterday it happened to be like 2 30 in the morning and like I was awake But not really Like I had went to bed earlier and then I woke up and I was like, oh groggy and I was like, oh, I have this idea I don't know how it even came to me. Um, but I started writing it down and some of it doesn't really make a whole bunch of sense right so The title that I have here doesn't make sense, but it but it made sense to me at that time Okay, it says is that your boy or is that you're gay? Oh

Not like you're gay like like yours my like I own the gay right like gotcha gotcha gotcha Right, but what I'm what I mean what I was trying to get across is like These things that I have listed here. Yeah, are they Like crossing the line where you're like you're in love or is it no, it's just my boy. That's what yeah Is it your boy like you can chum it up or is it you're gay like you can You know bum it up. That's my that's my gay boy. That's my bowing and we gonna kiss cast. That's my boy toy Exactly. So boy boy toy is what I came up with. Why hold on. Wait. Wait. Wait before we go. Why why? Yeah, I don't

I have no idea. You don't remember. I woke up in the middle of the night with is that your boy or is that your gay? That's fire. That's fire. So I wish I could be in your head when you're sleeping You don't want to be in there. Oh boy bad. It's that place. I mean it's not. It's cool. So anyway Oh god The first thing I have is and you can answer this, you know, oh, I can thank you for the permission Is that your boy or is that you're gay? Sleeping in the same bed as your boy No head to toe shit be a man and stare at his face. Oh

You know, I don't think that's like that's my boy. You know what I mean? Like that's my boy It's not gay. It's not gay unless you're like cuddling But even then it's not really, you know what I mean Like everyone likes a good cuddle. It depends how drunk you are Uh, if I'm drunk, dude, I'll get it in here. Yeah, I'm gonna wrestle you wrestle it in. Yeah, I mean I like being little and it also depends on who you're cuddling with for I like we have some very touchy-feeling friends That are all about the cuddle. Yeah, I think that's me. You think so. I don't think you're a very touchy-feely guy I I'm not but like dude if you get me in a bed and I'm in the mood to cuddle

I'm getting my paws on you noted. You know what I mean? And dude, I you know, I mean I don't even mind being a little spoon sometimes even if the little spoon's a little lower than me Dude, I can't even tell you how often I'm a little spoon in my relationship with Becca. I am the smallest spoon I like being hell, dude. Dude, I do too. I just want someone to just fucking hold. That's why I want a giant dog Because I want that thing to devour this Okay, we're gonna take dogs away from Frankie. We're gonna edit that out. Well, no, don't um, but yeah, dude I can't tell you how many of my friends I've slept in bed with scariest one was Pete, but that's obvious Different story. That's a different story. Yeah, you almost wake up a new man. Yeah, that's yep

He slept against the wall in the middle of the bed if you're catching my drift there Gotcha. Yep. I don't really move Um, also, I think we've slept in the same bed multiple times. Oh, absolutely and not head to toe Wake up staring at each other probably Austin. We were sleeping together in Austin You were breathing in in you were breathing out while I was breathing in so I was barely getting the oxygen I was just getting full on whatever carbon dioxide out of you. Oh, yeah That was I'm sorry about that because I can only imagine how awful it was. Oh, dude It was like that scene from the green mile. Oh, you remember where he just like he breathes like flies and shit

The fuck was that? Anyway, next thing Tap kissing your boy. By the way, tap kissing is apparently not a term that everyone knows Why not? I don't know tap kiss a little You know not like open like no, no. Yeah, that that is that's a little more intimate. Like yeah, that one was like Yeah, uh, if there's that like real loud clap at the end, you know, the Yes, like the you know, that is a little because lips. Listen, there's a line in your lips, right? There's the dry part and then on the inside where they're always wet if I feel wetness

Yeah, we're full. This look we're kissing this Yeah, that's fine because that's that's all out of lips. That's just straight up if I straight up like That That's where you draw a line. That's OD. I give my friends kisses on the cheeks Yeah, you yeah, but you slam them too. I do. I love slamming wet kisses. I do so that might be where I'm the gay Well, no, I'm not done. Oh, so it this is what I wrote about tap kissing your boy to get girls to show booby fangs or make out Oh Uh, I've never done this. We know people that have you've never kissed a boy to see a boob. No

I feel like that's like everyone's done that. No, I've never kissed a boy to see a boob Dude, if you're a guy you've never kissed a guy to see a boob Straight out. Are you did you have a child? There's no way to tell. I feel like that's like playing tag Yeah, there's no way like literally like you're running around the playground. You tag. You're it real quick That's a weird way of explaining it But that's not what I mean. Oh, sorry. Well real quick for for the boob boop boop. Yeah, you know what I mean Yeah, dude when they I remember that I mean, I don't know. I actually don't know if I've done that I definitely kissed a guy. I remember. I I'm trying to think I know a guy has kissed me

And I wasn't like about it. Wait a man. Yeah, wait. Yeah Do I know this man? No, no, no, you've never met this man. Was it a man who thought that you might be into that? No, no, no, it wasn't like a sexual kid. It was a fake. It was like so I was at a party with a bunch of people Oh, you bumped into him. No, we were getting ready to go out and he was gay man big gay man Um, well big gay man. Yeah, he was like six one. Well, that's a big gay man gay guy And he was like listen, man, like we're all going out like you can't go unless you kiss me And I'm like, dude, I'm not I'm not kissing you and he's like, yo, I'm dead serious You're not leaving this place until you kiss me. Hey, man, but it was playful

Yeah, and I was like listen, man. I'm not am I you know sounds like you got played friend and I was just like And it literally just went in and it was like you slammed them and no I didn't move I literally just and they went in and they went and that was it That's dope. And I was like, okay, let's just go. I'll slam a dude. I don't give a shit I'm trying to think I think to I probably wouldn't slam a gay. I know someone that would make out with gay guys to prove that he was not gay Which is backwards, which is that's a 180. We all we all know that that's a little backwards But like hey man, I'm sure gay dudes are listening to that going like I've heard that. Yeah

Yeah, you're totally not gay. Yeah, dude. I totally understand. It's like proofing your point Okay, no, um, but I'm trying to think if I've ever like kissed a man kissed a man. I don't think I have I don't know You want to kiss Dude, don't even know. No, I don't No patreon Patreon will slam you a whole patreon episode about just making out. That's that's where you draw the line I would never you know, yo, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. No, no, no, no

I don't like watching anyone make out Yeah, make out is weird because like you automatically judge the person based off their make out Also, if you're making out and not fucking I also think that's weird You know younger kids do that When I was like young adults when I was oh, yeah, adults. What are you doing? I mean, but every now and then I go make out sesh with a little bit of nothing if I'm making out with you We're having sex It's true boy. Hope I mean, I know I know I know

We're gonna no matter what how dare you get me hard Not like that, but I'm saying like for the most part it's like I'm not a make out guy. I mean, I like making out while there's coitus In midst amidst not like leading and during leading and during but as soon as we're done We're not making you strike me as a guy that just hugs so tight and just makes out the whole time and keeps your eyes closed Yeah, that's not who I know as a person. No, I'm not No, no, but I think of like if you're just like You know, you're at your anniversary dinner and you like get in the car and you start making out

We're not going home to Have this eggs. What are we doing? That's just weird to me. It feels like children's stuff. I get that I get that I get being a kid and being in the park and being like, yo, I can do right now Just make out on this bench like I'm taking what I can get I get that I get it I get that entirely. You mean you feel a bra. That's the glory days making out and feeling a bra. Dude That's like in 15 blowjobs, dude Nothing got me going like lace when I was 15

Forget about lace whatever the like the the padding was that fucking wire underneath that like held your tit I was like, oh, dude. Once I got there. I was like if I could just sneak under this wall Well, that's sneak I mean, I can't sneak but you know what I mean I know what you're saying. I know what you're feeling. You're making me feel weird now. You're feeling out You're feeling out and then oh god, don't get me going joey. I would get so I would go so slow Don't get me going. I would just go so slow underneath the thing so that if a girl didn't want me to do that She'd be like, and I'd be like, okay, but if that she didn't once I touched like boob skin. I was like

Hello, welcome to the gates open the floodgates. Yeah, I know what you mean Yeah, you're hanging out there with Zeus and everybody at that point touch a nipple go home and just fucking sleep like a baby Yeah, dude, that's all it took back in the day the good old days. Am I right? Honestly, I still good. Oh good for you Um All right, oh, I got so I got oh so kissing for for booby for booby or I don't know or to watch girls make out Isn't it interesting how like Guys want to see girls make out girls don't want to see guys make out Double standard done very double standard

You know what I'm saying guys guys making out is probably really not like I don't think it's gross I wouldn't do it But like if I would I wouldn't want to watch it if I was a girl, you know Oh, no, I think it's I think watching people make out is gross So watching two dudes who I'm not into make out is watching. I'm not I always felt like that about like two girls making out too Like I was like real young I'd be like Yeah, but like when I got older I was like What is this I have to be seeing that's the thing with making out

It's like if I'm not a part of this Then I don't care. Yeah, like there was a time in my life where if I walk into a bar And so like to like just like these party girls were like I'm when I get drunk I'm bisexual, you know those girls Oh, I know those. Yeah, so like at a time where they would they would make out a bar. You know, that's fire But now if I walk into a bar and I see that I'm like, I hate these people. Yeah, I hate this fucking place. Yeah It's like you guys are clearly just like doing this for attention not talking about bisexual people By the way, I'm talking about like girls who are just like I'm just like yeah, I get crazy and then they have a cigarette inside You're like, you know, I never smoke. This is I'm not a smoker

I only do cocaine when I'm drunk and I get drunk. I gotta train me on the day that I was crushing cigarettes Never had a cigarette in my life. Yeah, me neither Never done that Okay, next um this one It's kind of funny. I wrote hugs from behind and then in parentheses sway or no sway Oh, so like, you know when you hug someone from behind and you kind of go like this Like you do that like the sway is like a lot See, I don't know. I think that both are my boy

I think both are okay. And we need to normalize hugs from the back from boys Okay, not like a good boy back hug boy back hug boy back hug is h It could be really embracing sometimes from the front. You don't know if you want to hug So when your friend comes behind you and just a nice warm embrace and just like everything's gonna be okay It comes back to being a little spoon Embrace embrace me from behind. I'm all in bingo. I like that. Yeah, so I think that's my boy I don't think that's I don't think like now if they're if they're reaching around and like putting their hand on my inner thigh We might be approaching territory that might be questionable. That might be a long night

But I'm all about hugs from the back. I like yeah, but I here's my thing I can if you're gonna hug me from behind cool But if we're gonna sway together, we're in love. Oh, no, I'll sway with you any day dog. Oh, we are in love. You're right next Okay, next, um, I'm sorry. Absolutely Hugs from the back. Absolutely fucking take me from behind. I'm all about it. This one is like not even on the fence It's just showering with your boy. That's pretty gay. Oh, yeah. It's heavy gay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I See, this is what's tough is see I'm not talking about like high school sports We are like all right now. Let's break this up one shower one shower head showering with your boy

Bathing with your like bath time with your boy bath time with your boy. Oddly enough. Did you better be married? I feel like bathtub with your boy is more my boy than more than my gay Are you insane coming from a man who has been in a bath with two other men? Clothed. Yeah, but we were still in bath time. But like but that's what I'm saying like shower time Shower time is meant to be a cleaning time. Bath time is a relaxation time. So what's wrong with relaxing with your dudes I don't know nothing A nice dude shower. Come on. You can't beat that. You're talking about a dude tub. I mean tub. That's what I meant I guess shower bath. I guess shower two

A dude bath. I guess dude bath is heavy one-on-one. You can't but if it's like a crew of guys If like three or four your boys are coming in that's a good rule that if you're gonna shower or you're gonna bath Yeah, with one other person. Whoa, whoa At least two gotta be three. Yeah, at least three or more. You're in the clear one-on-one You guys are getting married. Yeah, basically. So that's that okay next I have by the way I would never like one-on-one shower with one of my friends Not because of that, but just because like what I have to do to make sure my body's clean Disgusting. Yeah. Yeah. It's not fun. 100 percent. There's no men

Girls if you think that men's sexy shower Let me tell you do a lot of digging in there. It's a lot of fucking, you know, like a fucking bloodhound back there You know what I'm saying? Like it is just miserable like a prairie dog like the guys that shower in the movies that are just like But even in the movies so you notice how in the movies they only show from the waist up and then like cleaning their hair Well, it's less because of dicks and mostly because like when they show them cleaning their ons their ons ons, yeah Just think about it guys have to clean their bud crag

And it is not like you need to get in there like you need to make sure like you're not like Dust in a way a fossil, you know what I mean? Nice and gentle You're getting in there and you're sculpting a clay masterpiece. Okay Okay, next uh smacking your boy's fat wagon. No sports So straight So like now, you know how like during baseball your boy hits one in the gap way to go Pow you hit him on the ass, you know what I mean? Or like football good play pow pow all about it But just like on the street being like, oh, dude, I haven't seen a while scat at all. Oh, I'm all that's my boy

Your big smack butt. Let's talk about this real quick before we continue boy, but let's normalize touching boy, but What well like boy to boy? Whoa? Say man, say man Do not say boy Let's normalize touching boy, but I'm saying like me to you. You're my boy. I'm your boy Let's move away from a society that is homophobic and go toward one that is homo friendly So we could just like be cool with just touching each other's butts all the time Do you want to make that move just so you could touch your boy's butts? Dude, absolutely. Hey, man

Tell me, you know, like boy, we're walking. That's what I'm saying. Like I don't I don't as a united state society We're so like, oh like united states society. Let's just hug each other man Smack each other and fucking go to town on each other's butts with our palms and take baths so many baths with another person At least two. Yeah, at least two at least two other men. But yeah smacking butts boy to boy, dude I mean, I'm not a big butt. I'm not a I'm not a big butt smacker because your butt sucks I'm not smacking my own butt. Well, like you're your butt sucks. You know what people touching your shitty butt Maybe your butt sucks. No, my butt is awesome. But then why would I want to smack it if it's so great? That's what I'm saying

You don't want people touching your butt because you know how awful your butt is a butt a butt a butt slap is not a Reciprocated thing like when someone gives a dap. It's like, you know, I'd give dap, you know, whatever, you know But like a butt smack is like bang. I hit you. You don't have to hit me Your butt's just not enticing enough for me. You're crazy. My butt is the most juicy Out of on what scale dude, have you ever seen my bare butt? I've seen your bare it's mad beautiful, dude Beautiful is a strange. No, it's not. I got honestly Honestly, put my butt against any butt. I'm talking J. Lo anyone it holds up. Are you fucking insane? I'm telling you right now. Do you think it holds up? I have a nice butt

Okay, I don't need to wear belts And also your what I don't need to wear belts because of my but your butt holds it up Dude, my butt does hold it up. You weren't a belt. No show me No belt No belt dude. I told you it just stays up. It's because of my butt. Okay And the last one here Putting sunscreen on your boy at the beach all about it. Just Just getting it in on the back on the back. Okay front. Well, I I could do my front

That's what I'm saying though above the waist on the back boy to boy. That's cool Shoulders is like shoulders sexy so sexy, but like that's what I'm saying Like I don't mind putting like sunscreen on my boy if if we're not in the public Oh, you're cool. I'll do it. No, I see that's worse I say I'm not worse But like if we're out at a beach and I put sunscreen on your back That's cool But if it's like me and you in the room and you're like, let's get ready to go outside in the pool and I'm

Loading you up If I'm just putting loads on you and then rubbing them in. Okay. Why are you saying it like that? Oh, you're making you know what I'm talking about though Like if it's in a room like we close the door right now, I load you up. Why do we have to wait, dude? You need to Why are we closing the door? I'm saying we don't need absolute privacy We're not gonna go hide in the closet and put sunscreen on each other I'm just saying but like you said in public because it can get misconstrued I don't care. I know you don't I don't care

And I don't either like if someone at the end of the day someone comes up to me He goes, yo, can you put sunscreen on back? I'm like, yeah, dude. I got you. Don't worry about that But what I'm but when I'm fucking really getting into it and I'm sliding all over this man this hunk of man A part of me goes this looks like You know, I'm trying to that's all right. I don't care if people are walking by saying like, uh-oh He might he might be into that guy. I'm so about it. I'll be like, yeah, what's wrong with that? Yeah, I'm not saying the same thing wrong. I'm saying I know you're not saying that but like I'm saying I'm not gonna worry about how people are gonna be looking at me and thinking that I'm

Looping this guy up because anything bad But you you are who you are and you put out a message when you walk around that's okay But that message There's a little bit of a blip in it at the end of the day when I'm oiling up a man at the end of the day I put my head on that pillow and I know what a type of man that I am that's not what I'm talking about Of course you go home and you go, I'm cool. I'm fine. It's all said done. What do I say? What putting out a message what like they're like no like men are gonna flock toward me No, I know I'm good-looking but not that

You just said you had the juiciest ass. I have a very juicy butt. Oh, okay Any person would be honored to have this but in their hands. Absolutely 6,000 patrons Get that fucking juicy ass You know what you got to do you got to go to staples And you got to sit on a copter machine and just print that ass. I mean, I can't do it at staples. I'll break it Well, you also get arrested. Yeah That's what I'm breaking it. Um I mean, I got I we're we're just we're backing ourselves up. What is what 5000 is the one ship challenge?

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All right stamps dot com click on the microphone at the top of the home page and type in basement Um, but yeah, we never have to go to the post office again. All right, so go check it out stamps dot com Boom. There you go. Boom bang boom bang boom bang a bum I want to start getting rings What because I was eating something like a sandwich last week and I did like one of these where like I felt like I had rings on my hands I don't know what you're doing. You know what I'm doing You ever see like the movies where like the gangsters you should like eat and buy you could

and they're like And they got like they're like they can't put these fingers down because they got rings on them You know exactly what i'm talking about No, so you want to buy a ring so you could eat burgers and feel cool. Yeah cool. Can you give me a raise for it? Nope So close. So we we actually got a dm That I wanted to read on here. Oh boy, because it's a very interesting conversation. Honestly. Oh boy Are we gonna are you because we do that a lot? I don't think so. I think we're gonna be in the same size as this

Um, so anyway, this is from a girl named Karina that had sent us a dm. I don't know if she wants her name out there Her well her name's Karina, but I don't know if they want her Her like instagram handle out there. So i'm not gonna say it. Yeah, don't do it long message though. Okay Hey, y'all. Ah hot start hot start the south I have a weird question I thought y'all second y'all two y'alls in a In 10 seconds. Um, I have a weird question thought y'all could bring up on the podcast So I've recently re-entered the dating scene after

I re-entered the dating scene again after starting life over Good for her this woman. She just like just I picked like ended and just started again after life Yeah, this is her new life. She died she came back from the gulag Right after starting life over and being in a relationship for years in all caps. Wow sounds like it went well so basically And then We're off to the races here. So basically this new guy. I'm seeing asked me to suck my titties the other day which

Sick nice, right? So basically so this is what you wrote. So basically this new guy I'm seeing asked me to suck my titties the other day and it was fun. Wait, we asked her to suck her own titties Is this guy asked ask me to suck my titties asked me to suck my titties Okay, oh, maybe she he was asking permission so he could suck her titties or she he was saying Hey, do me favor. Send me a video of you sucking your own titties. Yeah, I've done that. Have you when I was super No, I didn't suck my own titties. Oh, I'm saying like seeing that sick really Man, well, I mean when you're young bro the fuck when you're young I don't I feel like it's like predisposition in my head that sucking titties is for life

Like for like nourishment Are you fucking serious? You don't like Sucking a tit listen move on keep going. Oh my god. I am so angry at you right now But anyway, I don't know if this woman who's sucking her tit or if he was sucking her tit But there was tit sucking Uh asked me to suck my titties the other day and it was fun and all But then he fucking Asked me if I would be willing to breastfeed him

What was I saying? Well, what did I say? I know that you said that but I don't know like but you you're you're you know putting down the hole You're condemning the entire Told you I am not bestowing judgment upon anyone that decides to get give a nice titties So you don't you don't like you don't like sucking a tit does he never pop in your head is cool Of course it does and it's part of the you know spread of the moment. You say spread of the moment. Yeah, spread of the moment What do you think it's spread of the moment? It's spur of the moment you fucking idiot. All right. All right Spread of the moment. All right, okay

Spread the moment. I'm thinking like suck a tit. I'm thinking like you're spreading the moment out and you're dissecting it So like this I'm the spread of the moment It makes sense you spread the moment out and you look for your place to have to think about it spread Of the moment. So in the spread of the moment You know spread of the moment. Oh, you're good. But like, okay, keep reading keep going Spread of the moment What the hell was I talking about? I don't know. Um, so she oh the good dude wants to get breastfed. Gotcha

It caught me a little off guard because I told him I didn't think it would work because I'm not lactating Hey, you didn't think it was gonna work because it's not That's not how that worked. You can't just suck your way into lactating. Oh, I think you might I don't know. I don't know how this I'm still learning. I'm still learning. I'll I mean Yeah, I'm still I'm still learning. I'm still learning women. I know that I haven't been staying I'll be staying for this one. I'll I'll sit back and listen you're Spread of the moment, okay

Um, call me out of the guard, but I told him I didn't think it would work because I'm not lactating He said we should try anyway and see what happens. This guy is optimistic dude. This guy's in it. Are you pregnant? No, never been pregnant. We'll see Can you milk me? Don't think it'll work. We'll give it a shot. Give it a shot. Anyway, give it a shot That's that's some optimism. I'm still gonna go through the motions. Let me tell you let me tell you You imagine how fucking hard you probably need to suck on that thing to create a lactation If it was possible, I could get it out. You think so? Yeah, you're a hard sucker. Oh, dude I'll suck that keep going

Okay, uh, I understand that's mad funny. He said we should try anyway and see what happens I understand people have fetishes. So I'm trying to take it as a compliment because he must think my titties are fire emoji But this was the second time someone asked me that wait what? Yeah, so apparently there's been another gentleman in her life that's been wanting to be breastfed. I can tell you right now She probably has very This all stems from mommy issues. I'm telling you these kids were pulled off the teat at too early of an age And they were like I wouldn't done or they just think that like oh big fat tits like I hey man I guess, you know what I mean? I guess go for it. Maybe she's just got really boob boob. Just the most boobed

Yeah, she's got booby boob. She's got super boob boobs. I got that booby boobs. I got that. Um So I just want to know is this like a thing now like our men all of a sudden into this or was this just a coincidence Not not as far as I know Not as far as I know let me tell you I just want to get a male perspective on this because I don't have a ton of male friends I can ask do you think I'm overreacting or is this a trend of some sort? No, this this is new Uh, hi Karina the idea of sucking tits is No, that's a free historic tale as old as time tale as old as time I kind of hit that

True is it can be Friends Friends Suck on that titty It's a good song. It's a good song. A titty with no milk I want to suck it dry Technically it's already dry for some milk. Oh, I need that nourishment. Yes Put it in

Take it from your tit I can't do this thing. I'm like Danny. I'm sorry crazy. He's very good at singing about titties. It is. I'm not I'm not I know I I know my my things. It's not my thing. Let them do it. Um Yeah, I don't think I don't know I wouldn't even say this is like an overreaction. She said it's am I I'm overreacting I don't think you're overreacting if anything Here's what I'll say the science is messed up on both parts because both of you guys seem to not know for sure That you're not gonna like take something tells me you don't have a kid Karina Yeah, something tells me that you missed a couple of anatomy classes

He what he needs to do is he needs to find a man that has had a child a man Woman, sorry, and then in front to find a man is that a child getting the bath And then like you need to like cry like a baby in front of their tits so they're ready to be milked You need to like Like in the office. Yes, and then they'll be like Now you know what I mean? It's like opulation. It's like they hit him up like come on Come on now now now and then you need to just go to town on these things Dude, isn't that so weird that you're that women's bodies are like. Oh, we're having a baby milk

And you're like very cool. Where did it come out? Very cool. It's kind of cool Like what is it made out of? Uh, yeah, I don't know whatever I know whatever I know is that it goes right through babies So like imagine what it would do it to like us You know what I mean like I mean granted babies are little stupid idiots with like all fucked up insides Stupid, but like what I'm saying is imagine just like just from you put it in your mouth And it just shoots out the other end like dude. Yeah instant taco bell gyros That would be a nice. Why haven't we figured this out a laxative that is just tid milk

Well, I think are you gonna try tit milk? Are you gonna try it? You know, yeah, you are I I I don't know I think slam it. I don't know I should I yeah Becca once was like, oh, are you gonna try my boob milk? And I was like, I don't think so, but like If like a little gets on like my like face. I might just be like, why would I get on your face? I don't know. We never know what happens in these things. I'm still learning with kids You got pee spraying all over the place. There's probably titty milk all over the place I mean, I don't think she's squirting it like fucking she probably could she probably could she probably. Yeah, she probably could Well, I heard it just falls out sometimes does it like you're just like you're over there

You know I'm saying you got a leaky floss. You got a leaky floss. I get that pouring out of your nipples I mean, maybe man, but apparently it's really good for like Psoriasis So like people that have psoriasis. You got psoriasis. I don't but what I'm saying is not yet Oh, you never know. It might just knock on the door tomorrow But like people will like rub it on like psoriasis and it like goes away apparently awesome. It's like super food Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's crazy. Well, when you think about it, I mean, it's it is I guess so it like keeps the baby alive for like five months

think about this giving breast milk to a cat It's fucked up. It is fucked up, right? That was baked that I just gave you because think about humans We're drinking cow milk. Yeah. Yeah, how does that make any sense? I mean, I like cow milk It's all fucked up. We're the only mammals that naturally drink other mammals milk or something like that I'm all about cows. No, I just won't suck it from the turt the utter. I almost called it the tutter They were called the turt

You ever milk a cow? Once when we were in preschool, we went to a trip and it's scared the shit out of me You were got scared of the utter. Of course I did. That's a scary looking thing, man You don't realize what you're touching at that point. You know what I mean? Like I thought this cow had multiple cock Multiple cock. Yeah, I just was afraid like it's a scary thing If you're not ready and prepared mentally to play with another not that I was playing with it But like to milk it. Oh, I was playing with it and like you ever hear that fucking stream hit that Dude milk comes out of a cow at light speed. You just went cross-eyed

And like not only that but like it hits that old fucking tin can it's like Yeah, you know what I mean? It's gross. It is really gross, but I don't know where this guy's coming from. I have never Heard of people being milked. Yeah, I think I honestly would be grossed out by breast milk I mean It's gonna happen. Sucking tits is like Cool because of like the thought behind it because of tip, but if there was any sort of result from it I think it wouldn't be as cool like one time I sucked a boob

that Had a piercing and then you get a little bit of Some sand What sand it's not sand, but it's like, you know sometimes I mean we're talking about nope piercings here. I know I'm not I don't know what we're talking about here crust Yeah, it was not cool. I had an ex-girlfriend whose best friend had gotten her boob pierced and Had gotten her boob pierced. Yeah, her boob pierced. Well, I hear nipple. Yeah. Yeah, unless it was her boob And she like came we were like all hanging out one day and she was like, I gotta show you something

And I'm like what she's like, guess what? I'm like, okay again. What she's like so and so got her nipple pierced Do you want to see I'm like, no, thanks. She's like, no, no, I said it's okay. I was like, oh Thanks controller of my eyes No, fucking thanks And she was just like real quick like just flashed it It was like a fresh piercing So this nipple just went like was just back from fucking vietnam. Nice. It was beat up Oh, it didn't look good. Oh, no, it looked it looked like it hurt

I don't know where they got this done, but I would have asked for my money back and possibly sued It was an ugly looking that not that I knew what the nipple looked like before Why was it just like stinging it just like it looked like red and swollen well I mean, I mean, it was just a beat up nip. It got it got pierced. It got pierced You know what I'm saying, but like don't they need to like harden it up when they're going to pierce it like Put ice cube on it or something don't do they do I've never got my nipple pierced You should Do you remember Pete had his eyebrow pierced? I do remember that. Let's make sure we never forget that

You know what would you get your nipple pierced? Nope as a joke That's not a joke that I'm willing to participate in kind of hurt it just I I think you need to leave it in for a certain amount of time something about me is don't you can Tell me I'm an idiot. You can fucking punch me in the face. Don't touch my nipples Don't fucking come near my nipples. Don't touch my nipples. Really don't come near my nipples What about what about during sexual nothing really ever? Well, I don't get you know, my nipples aren't getting

How's he gonna say what are you just getting twisted? No, I'm not I'm not but some dudes want to get their tits sucked. Maybe Listen, wait, would you let someone suck your tits? No, no Why I don't like my nipples being touched. I don't know why I just don't it just I just don't like it. Do you do you do touch? I don't touch them as I touch them as Little as I possibly can what the hell I hate my nipples being touched Becca will tell you Like we'll be like joking around and she'll go to like give me like a little like twitty twister You'll get pissed and I I like I'm like

You know, I'm not the hitter, but I'm just fucking I'm just pulling away 1920 back smacker I get so mad when my nipples get touched. I'm not kidding. I don't know why it's the only thing about me that triggers that That's weird, man. I can't tell you why it just it just it's what I don't like Yeah, but some guys like getting their their their nipples sucked That's like that would hurt that should go on this list that would that should go all right That's a suck in your boy's nip. No, that's okay Sucking your boy's nipple getting your nipples sucked I mean by a woman

I don't think that's gay. I mean well then then then we answered the question there, but what I'm saying is like Let me get a suck dog. No, no, no, you can't no dude sucking your boy's nipple is gay Putting your mouth on anything with your boy except for a cheek Putting your mouth on their cheek. Yeah Yeah, because you do that I do I kiss I kiss on the cheek hard. I boarded that line, baby. I walk it Walk hard, but uh Yeah, some dudes I've heard that some guys Like I've heard from girls being like, oh, yeah, my whoever's like, I don't whatever I wanted me to suck his tits

Dude, don't touch my tippies. I wonder if it would feel good. I just don't I just like you know, you got to try it out Now too much of an ego for that. You got to try it out. I just I remember when I was a kid boys growing up You remember that weird period where you had the puffiest fucking nipples on the planet the most buddy nips dude your nipples I remember you had like fucking like dandelions underneath that shirt Mine were bad too And I'm saying like boys you guys know what I'm talking about the one the one part of our like body that changes that actually hurts Fucking nipples wait our nipples hurt dude. My nipples would hurt

I think my nipples hurt too dude my nipples would hurt and like they were like that weird place where See like I don't even like that like when you would touch it. It was like a ball. It's like a marble. Oh, yeah It was like cystic like oh, I'm getting my period. Yeah I hated it and I remember the day waking up hate nipple. Do you touch a girl nipple? Girl nips are fine. Love them. They're beauty. You lick them. You know But like fuck my nipples Fuck my nipples dog. I hate my nipples because they just like Do you want to see my nipple? They were out on the last episode. So were they dude you were not your neighbor

Like I don't know if it's my nipple or my tit, but like it doesn't harden It just stays really so it's like freezing cold. My nipples are the exact same Well, it's because they probably got lazy on you. You don't pay attention to that got lazy nipples now. Thanks You don't pay attention all I need to know I'm more now. I need to worry about people touching my nipples Now they're gonna tell me I got lazy nipples This is the tough. This is a tough little nipple life. It's a tough episode for you. It is it is I think people have learned a lot about me guarantee. I'm gonna get a lot of Hey, man. I know you're not gay, but like are you?

Because like I'm a very passionate and affectionate young man Who doesn't like his nipples touch don't touch them. Is there anything else on you that you don't like when people like kind of Fuck with I mean, there's nothing else that people really fuck with on my body I'm saying like there's some people Remember our friend Chelsea growing up if you tried to touch her neck she would freak out. No, no She probably was murdered in a past life or some stupid shit But like what that's like gotta be from like um past life or something, right? You believe in that? I don't know. Um No, I don't think so. I think like every other part about me like spank my ass, you know punch my

You know, but you like getting spanked No, not like I'm talking like I'm just talking like normal day-to-day life joey I once got hit in the ass so hard. I almost passed out by what by my buddy Your your friend hit you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I won't say his name just in case he doesn't want to You know be mentioned. He knows exactly who he is We were walking in a building and I was going up the stairs and yo Yo

Slapped your ass cocked back. Why'd he slap your ass? Just you know, just playful banter Cocked back and fucking hit me in the butt. I had to hold the railings and stop I was I almost lost it like I almost passed out from how hard he hit me. Jesus dude He he fucking almost turned the lights off. See there's two types of people in the world. Hmm one Where they almost passed out. Yeah on this flight of stairs and the next one where they're just instantly horny I am soaking wet right now, you know, no, no, no not for me I don't mean anything. Are you about being spanked? No, you look like you you like being a little dominated No, I don't I'm the opposite. You're you like being the dominator. Yeah, that's your fragile male ego. Probably absolutely

Dude All right, I'm gonna I'm gonna draw you out right now. I'm gonna draw you out right now. What does that mean? I'm gonna do a questionnaire on you and I'm gonna I'm gonna do a questionnaire on you and figure out Exactly what how you like it in the in the bed What you ready? Okay. Okay. What are you writing down? You'll see I want everyone to know that whenever franky picks up a whiteboard Everything he writes on it is unnecessary. That's definitely not true. So I'm gonna write down here. Um Okay, uh Tell me real quick

Tell me real quick. All right. Oh you're turning your hat for this guys. Just so you know what joey turns his hat It's like ash catch him. I got nothing. Go ahead. You're just trying to show off that you have an expensive hat. You geek Okay, all right So are you when you're going into the room door closed lights on lights off door open lights on lights off? What uh, it was mad combinations. Do I like the lights on or off a door open first? Why don't you tell me door open or closed? Um I guess closed but it wouldn't be a deer breaker Unless it's like heat of the moment like I don't give a fuck if the door is even there mm-hmm

Okay, it could be beads it wouldn't even matter you wouldn't even know okay um What what's the first thing you do after the coitus is completed? How soon after I'm saying like first thing you do Just kind of Like other than just like talking or some shit first thing you do Breathe Come on, dude. I don't know how far ahead you want me to go. I try to pee

Oh, okay, so you try to go but it's not like I like I'm like, oh, okay You know like you're like time because it would feel weird to be like I'm getting the fuck out of here now I'm gonna go pee real quick. You know what I mean to leave the room. Gotcha. Okay Okay Okay I'm getting a pretty good idea of you. That was quick and one more question. Um, oh What no one more question um

Do you like being in control You guys remember what I said about everything he's riding down is pointless Go ahead. Sure. You do. Yeah Okay Now now now tell me your big reveal. Okay So your big reveal There's a little bit of sound not a lot of sound you're in there you Okay, okay. All right next you probably struggle with dirty talk

You know, you want to talk dirty, but like you trip up sometimes you'll be like, oh you have such a fucking hot Fuck You know what I mean Okay No toys you strike me as just like a straight to it straight done with it And then last and last and not least control control Don't know if you got it. Don't know if you like it. Don't know if you want it cool But how spot on am I really not good 100% no

100% Also, I don't know where you came with all of those random things when you asked me if I like the lights on I could just tell you it was like do you like the lights on or off? You're an off guy first shirt Lights on maybe lights on windows closed sitting that fucking sweat At night you turn the lights on yeah when the lights are off you turn them on dance straight I don't not like in the dead of night, right? But like if you get some light from the tv, that's nice Because it makes some silhouettes Yeah, that's it

Some silhouettes stop writing. You're not writing a thing. That's not true You put your socks on Do you wear clothes? Do you wear any type of clothes? um No Why'd you um Because I had to think about it for a second. Like sometimes you like winning the poo and you just weren't This is what joey. This is what joey's like

Everyone everyone knows exactly what i'm talking about. All right, that's you So you wear clothes. No, I don't wear clothes. Have you ever pissed through your gene hole? Every day of my life I pissed through my gene hole joey. Are you serious? Sometimes i'm not Sometimes I have genes that don't have peepee holes, but every day You pissed through the gene the zipper hole. Yeah Oh, yeah, instead of just opening up your flap. Yes. I'm using the pants as they have been designed for me joey. Yeah

Yes, I do What are you gonna say? What's wrong with that? You're you're putting your dick up against the teeth of the zipper So ouch ouch what the zipper dude Do you not know how to maneuver? It's like pulling a car through another car that's double parked like you could figure it out without fucking hitting anything Okay. Yeah, or you could just go around it Yeah, that's what i'm saying like you're going around it. You can figure it out. So you're not scraping the sides

No, here's what it is. No, there's two spots on the block one You could just pull into very simple not going to take you a lot of time And the other one is maybe a little bit closer like a foot closer to the door of the place you need to go to But you have to really Yeah, but your but your parking spot is down the block from where the tighter spot is So when you are living in an up in a city in an inner city you want to take the most convenient route First before you take the opportunity to think i got all this time in the world Oh, I got all this time in the world to just pull my fucking pants down

You're probably in a public pants down with your pants at your ankles like a fucking weirdo in public school You remember those people do I elementary school? You were fucking cranking your tidy whities down to your ankles and pissing with your asshole out waiting in a bathhouse No, I wasn't yes. You were house. Yeah. No, you've been in bathhouses Frankie. I have crazy places Old dehydrated dicks in there Kind of cool though. Kind of cool But no taking your pants and just going boom

Is easier than being like I have to I you have to take your hand and then put your whole hand through the hole of your zipper and Fumble around and find your penis. What's the point and then Take it out. Yep. When you could just go pop Boom pow pee or you I bet I could pee faster than you. I I absolutely guarantee you can I bet I could pee faster than dude. Do you want it? I know it I can fucking we're gonna drink a gallon of water. Get me a water

Well, I'm gonna go get it get it. We're gonna get a gallon of water We're gonna drink it and I'm gonna and then as soon as we have to pee really bad. We're gonna go go go go On the third go then you start peeing but we're talking about you're stumbling around for your penis I'll be out about you might you might have a quicker stream No, no, no, I'm talking about how to start the the time from go to start stream That's the time dude. You'd be surprised. I'm a pro at this now I go in Take it out put it back

Also your boxers. What about them? You have to go. Do you go through your boxers too two layers of holes? Yeah It's like it's like a nice little like scarf You just like pull it back and put it around the base of everything and it holds everything right where it needs to be I honestly like I know we're joking around that is so fucking stupid. Fuck you. No, fuck you. You're stupid. You fuck You're the stupid one You're the dumb one because you want to you have to oh, this is you know what this is It's typical big dick joe. He's got to pull everything out. Let me show everybody my big dick I don't pull my balls out. Yes, you do. Oh, so you only go dick out. Yeah child

I pull my my balls out too. No, you don't yes Hold on. Hold on. No, no, no, no, don't don't Don't fuck with me. I'm not freaking pregnant. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Hold on. Okay All right, this isn't a bit You Frankie, please tell me that you were just being funny. You pull your balls out to pee. Yeah What the fuck is wrong with you? What's purpose do they serve? To be there you pull your balls out through your zipper hole. It's a bit they have separation anxiety

You can't remove one without removing the other let them both get a little bit of air Dude, you need to put your you need you need therapy. I don't First of all, let's call our friends a better help. They're good friends of the show second of all Don't ever tell me what I do and don't need in terms of this Dude, I know I'm not the only person doing this. You're bald pissing. I'm not pissing on my balls, joey I'm you're I mean you're there there let them out. Let them out It's like letting the tigers out for a fuck It's like letting the prisoners out of the cell for a couple minutes a day, you know

Like gonna get out enjoy the sunshine. They know they got to go right back in they're doing Life in there. That's so unnecessary. That's like taking a shit and like With your two friends in there Like yo come in the stall with me. I'm gonna say very different very very different. No, yeah, they don't need to be there Yeah, do your balls need to be there? No, yes, they do for what just you know, just to be there moral support It's easier to pull one out and not both out not just one. I can't believe you pull your balls out. What are you gonna do about it? Clearly, I hope you know every time I pee in this apartment my balls are out Feel good about it. That's insane

In fact, sorry, I had to I knew someone who used to take their shirt off when they took a shit I that when I knew someone that had to get fully naked when they took a dump. That's so heavy Like what if you're in public? They would get fully naked. That's great. That is intense. Sometimes I've been like In the dead of summer and it's like a hot bathroom and you're taking a shit I would never do some public like in like someone's house. I'd be like I take my shirt off and I'm fucking dying right now Like I don't feel I don't think I've ever done that If anything, I try to always keep my shirt on to just not look at my body Yeah, or your nipples. Fuck those

Fuck the nips. I can't believe you fucking ball piss. What dude, what do you want me to do? Like it's how I live Like this is the way I live This is the way I live Little boy still trip a big piss. Oh Put my balls out in my dick See there we go. I'm making Danny proud. Who does that? Who says that song? Uh Little something they all everyone was a little something little d's. Yeah, a little something like d

You remember the the one I hated this song so much You know who loved that song, I know exactly who loved that song. Who are you gonna say? Oh, no, I was gonna say I hated it for another reason Oh, no, Keith. I love that song because my girlfriend at the time cheated on me with a kid. That was just my space song Ha ha ha ha ha Keith loved that song. I remember he was the first one to show me. It's not bad, but it's bad now No, I mean, I hate it just because of that. No, yeah Because anytime I'd go to this kid's my space page, uh, I would hear that song

Yeah, there's a song by the fray that everyone knows uh over my head Um, that reminds me of this girl Oh bad bad ties because it was her it was her uh my space song. Ooh, isn't that weird how we have that? Yeah, we do There's so many songs that I attach to these random people who I have no contact with Yeah, yeah, yeah 15 years because it was their night my space song. Yeah my my um And you remember back in the day relationships had their song. I mean, I guess they still do now to an extent Yeah, but like when we were kids it was like your relationship was defined by your song Yeah, like we need we need this. Do you remember what mine was at a point in time?

Do you remember you by Lloyd and Lil Wayne? She's fine too But I'm born you Ha ha ha ha Ha ha that's a good song. It's a really good song. Remember south side. Maybe I'm in the south side. Maybe we can go high Dude, where's Lloyd? He's like He is he's all dead. Oh, he's all dead. He's alive. I hope he is. I'm pretty sure he's a lot of luck to you Lloyd

You made some bangers back in the day him and bobby Valentino. I forgot. There used to be so much drama about my space I just want to get to know you But don't turn around Because that pretty young thing was good to me. I think he's talking about her butt. I think so too um Yeah, my space songs were like big important things back in the day. I remember one of my friends got mad at me because I Heard their myspace song. I was like damn that's fire and I made it mine He was like bro the book

Oh, one of my one of our friends got mad at me because I had a good myspace song and then changed it to something They didn't like and they like cursed me out for it. They're like, yo you put that stupid shit on there. Fuck you The song the original song was royal flush by outcast and rake one And then I changed it to uh all the young dudes carry the news by mop the hoople. What the fuck is that all the young dudes? Carry the news And danny my brother-in-law cursed me out. He's like, yo you have a fucking awesome song and you changed it to this shit Yeah, yeah, he was very upset. I get it. Who was your top eight? You were there. Thank you. I don't remember. It was your girl

Your best friend. I never I don't think I've ever had a girl in it. Yeah, you really I didn't like date anyone. Yeah, you really didn't for my space. Yeah, my space time. You were you Well, you didn't date me. No, but it was like you I think denis Yeah, denis ampie was in there. Yeah, little nick was in there. Yeah Oh, man, it was probably Keith proud definitely Keith. It was like and then I don't know like it was like Joe Campbell Or like random people like we had like random people I remember I found out how to like code and I was doing like top 30s Dude, I remember my my first myspace page. I remember exactly what it looked like

I can't tell you how bad I wish I can get my like what it looked like back in the day You know, it exists. Yeah on the internets somewhere. Yeah, I need it back Well, no the way that it looked when you first opened it I want like it doesn't the old messages the old comments the old writing on the wall Oh, god, dude, because we do you remember we would like leave what's good. We would We would like leave comments on each other's things about like our like touch football games We'd like this is what we've been playing foe. This is foe de marbles We used to go hard for de marbles. We used to go super fun. No. Yeah, I I do I do

But I remember my first myspace. I remember the first song and I remember the first like background like the layout I was like, oh, I need my shit to look fire. It was Marvin the Martian Is was the background and then like the bars and all the things like Were green and red. Yeah. Yeah, whatever. Um, and then the first song was dim boys By boys and boys Then boy, god, my first myspace song was and then what by young jeezy And then what? That song still man jeezy back in the day still

Slaps and then it went to um, and then it went to um back then by mike jones Back then now they're now i'm hot day all on me day all on me. Also. You had shake dat laughy. I did have shake dat Laffy taffy. I had bet you can't do it like me. Nope Nope. Yeah, I remember that uh, I remember at one point you had a jj reddick theme on your page Holy shit. How did you remember that? I remember you had when he was on when he was on duke. Yeah You had a whole jj reddick thing and how did you remember that? I remember it quite well I remember it quite it was blue and white. It was blue and white everywhere everywhere

The people used to call me jj reddick at the park because I was white. No one called you jj reddick at the park 100% They did we called you the backboard bitch because every shot that you make from three was from the backboard And people I mean it went in but you always hit backboard. No, I remember people used to call me jj reddick I don't want to call them jj reddick. No one called them agent zero either. Let's make sure we no one called me that No, let's make sure we supposed to buy that I didn't have like nicknames growing up Except for one person called me fax Yeah, you no no one other person called me fax. It was chelsea. She called you fax. She'd be like fax

And I remember I hated it. You remember that girl tagged up my name and it said like so-and-so loves fax At our elementary school playground No, you don't remember that. No, it was a big thing. You definitely remember that because it sounds big They had to like repaint over it and like the schools like got upset with us Because we were in like sixth grade when this happens and we just and they knew you were fax Obviously, I'm fax. I'm fax too. Who else is going to be fax else could be fax. I understand you were joe mud. I was fax The fuck is going on? Yeah. Yeah, we had we had cool names. Damn my space Damn, I can't believe you remember that jj reddick thing. I remember that quite well. I can

I'll tell you right now if my space ever was to resurface I'd have to do a lot of apologizing because I said something so real dumb but at the same time like What do you expect? Hey, listen, if you say some stupid when you're 13 and you show that you know that it was stupid You're good. You're okay I can only imagine God that is so fucking funny I'm so mind blown that you remembered that because like I that wasn't even a thought but when you said it

Then it just popped into my head and I was like, oh my god You ever were like I was sure it lived you ever wonder about like what you have forgotten Like think about that. Like you remember that's you can't well What I'm saying is no like you think about like wow I have so many memories, but then you sit there and you're like But there's memories that I don't that I have that I don't remember anymore. You know what I mean Something will jog it one day something one day and you know what does it for me? Sense of smell

Dude, so the sense of your sense of smell goes through the part of your brain I think it's the hippocampus The olfactory bulb which is your nose has the has like a line through it or something So your sense of smell brings out the most like intense memories So I'll smell something and I'll be right back there. Yeah, I've done that. We're like grandma's house. Yeah, you know Yeah, and uh My dad's old van I remember that van. I remember that van. Yeah, it's the bounce around in the back. Yep. I remember the smell

of whip cream Brings me back to when we would do like whip cream and shaving cream fights and fucking like Halloween. Mm-hmm good old days Good old days. It's a good time. Good time Anyway, now that we got the hippocampus out of the way, don't close it Where can they find you frank? Stay away from my nipples But you could find me at f alvarez 8085 on twitter and on twitch if you want to come hang out with me play video games I stream Mondays and Tuesday nights and third Thursdays of every month if you're a subscriber

And then you could find me at the frank alvarez on instagram and on cameo I actually have a couple I need to do right after we are done recording this Yeah, and if you guys want to go follow the show at the basement yard on instagram And go check out our patreon patreon.com slash the basement yard You get every episode a week in advance You get an extra episode every single week you get access to all the extra episodes that we've done in the past And you get promo codes on merch and things like that But yeah, that is all and we'll see you guys next time