The Basement Yard - #272 - All I Want For Christmas

Episode Date: December 14, 2020

Frank & Joe reveal their 2020 Christmas lists while Frank wears pajamas like a child. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. Frankie, how you doing? I just got a headache out of nowhere. I'm okay, though. I think I'm all right. Great. I don't have to worry about me. I look great, too. Yeah, I just noticed your peaches. You just noticed my peaches? Well, no, I noticed them, but I forgot about them because you've been sitting here, but now I see them again. They're very cozy. I will say that.

Oh, they're dinosaurs. Damn right they're dinosaurs, motherfucker. Hey man, you're almost 30. Yeah, I am. Anyway, I just wanted to quickly tell you guys about the Patreon this month. With the Patreon at patreon.com slash basement yard, you get an extra episode every single week. And you get every episode a week in advance. And with December, I've been doing this for, I think, the last two or three years.

We take the Patreon check and we just donate the entire thing. Last year, we built a water well in Kenya that provides water for hundreds of people, which is awesome. Definitely want to do that this year. But now that the Patreon has grown so much, we can do that in addition to other things. But I just want anyone who is watching this to know, if you haven't signed up for the Patreon, you can at patreon.com slash the basement yard. If you only want to sign up for this month because you want to do a charity thing, totally understand that. But if you want to sign up and then kind of hang around, that's also a goal. Yeah.

But if you... That would be pretty nice. But just know that if you sign up this month, we are going to be donating the entire thing. And yeah, anyway. Well, it's also good because we're going to, since we hit that goal, we're going to be doing that one chip challenge. Yes, we're going to be doing the one chip challenge. You're a little upset with me. I get it. You're a little upset. Yes, we are.

But in order to see how you're going to do with the one chip challenge, I got something for you. I got some good and evil hot sauce. And I wanted to see if you could just give a little taste. Get an idea of how good you are with hot food. How hot is that? You didn't look this up. You didn't think that would be a dangerous... Oh, it says mild. Oh.

You just picked a random hot sauce? I saw the skulls and then I saw the word habanero and I know that that's hot. So I was like, oh, all right. Can I see? It says mild. It's not that bad. Just to let you know... God, I fucked up. I should have got something hotter. Just to let you know, like, I am a bitch.

So this could very well, like, put me out. You got it. There's a little tape thing around it. Oh my God, what is this? I haven't tasted it. I've never tasted this. It has so... Ow. Oh, you're okay? No, I hurt my hand. I'm opening this like an idiot.

Yeah, I was going to say, what are you doing? Anyway... But this one, the California Reaper, Carolina Reaper, where's the Reaper from? He's... Well, they're from... There's Reapers everywhere, I think. Isn't there? No, the Carolina. Carolina Reaper. Of course.

It's the hottest because everything down there is hot. What's that? Ah, you fucking... Give it to me. Your mother's a dirt... Give it to me. Give it to me. Give it to me. Hold on, hold on. I got it. I don't have it. You got it. Anyway, besides that, I'll try that when you get it open,

but I wanted to talk about a gay orgy that I heard about this weekend. Oh! Why is this the first time I'm hearing about a gorgy? Real quick. Oh, shit. It's a build. We talked about a sex club in our neighborhood. Dude!

And then, like, two days later, it's hot. It's actually really good. I hate when people, like, lick their fingers like that. It bothers me. I'm sorry. I got it on the... Try it. But listen, I'm going to try this. It's got a kick.

We talked about a... Like a nightclub... Like a swingers club. Like a sex club. They fucking this club. A full-on sex club. With a shower in it that... Jesus Christ, that smells like...

Smells good. It smells mad good. That reminds me of... There was these Muslim kids that used to live in the house. Why does a hot sauce remind you of Muslim kids? I'm going to get to that. So, like, when you... They used to live behind me, like, across the alleyway from us.

Oh, those are the kids you used to, like, have, like, alleyway wars with, right? It was one big fight. It was, like, a West Side Story type of fight. But this smells like... Because they had a lot of spices that they cooked with in their house. So this reminds me of Zan and Omar. Well, it has a kick. It's a kick?

I can do that, though. This is really good. It's sweet and kicky. I bought this as a joke. I'm going to keep it... Keep it good? I'm going to keep it as a serious. Keep it as a joke.

Buy it as a serious. Wait. Reverse that. Yeah. Um, but... So we had talked about that sex club, and then it ended up getting raided and shut down. The next week. And I don't know if the cops are listening to this show, but...

Dude, the cops are absolutely listening. Yeah. 114th Precinct is not far from here. Right. And you know that they're listening. First of all, Mr. Copper. Mr. Copper. Call the Department of Labor.

The son of a bitch won't give me a fucking adequate pay. God almighty! Shut up. Shut up. That's fucking awesome. And it's crazy because we were just figuring out when we were going to send Ahmed there. Right. But then it got shut down.

Spoiler, that's who we were going to send to the sex club. Boom. That's who it was. But anyway, no, I wanted to talk about a different man, Orgy. This one, no women. Just men. I saw this fucking headline and it says, an anti-gay... Always anti-gay.

Always anti-gay. An anti-gay Hungarian politician has resigned after being caught by the police fleeing a... Count him. 25 man Orgy threw a window. Okay. He was fleeing an Orgy through a window. You know? Well, it's better than through the back door.

Well, I'm sure there was some back door going on. It was probably strictly back door. You could do a front... Dude, they're like... What would the mouth be? The attic? Like front door, back door attic. Yeah, I would assume so.

Yeah. Yeah. It's the fucking... Absolutely. Dude, first of all, anyone that's like so anti-gay that like they're like, kill them all. They're the gayest people in the world. Yeah. I'm so anti-gay that I have to pass laws so that gay...

You're so gay. Yeah, come on. It's like in every form of like media, the most afraid of gay are the ones that are the awesomely gay gays. And his name is Joseph. That's a gay name. Come on. That's a gay name.

No, but this guy... And listen, there was a funny quote. Joseph... I don't know how to say his last name. I don't want to put you that... Give it a shot. You don't want to offend the anti-gay politician? Sir Jury?

I don't know. He resigned on Sunday after he admitted to breaching Belgium's strict lockdown rules to attend a sex party. The police found 25 naked men at the gathering, including this guy, and some diplomats. So I mean, it was a political game. Oh, that's fine. It was a political game. That's so cool. It was a big mix.

The newspaper quoted a local police source saying, quote, we interrupted a gang bang. Now, he's right and wrong, right? Because it is a gang that are banging. It's a gang of men who are banging. It is a gang of gay guys. But that's not a gang bang. That's way too many to be a gang bang. No, dude.

That's a fuckfest. That's a good... All right. Now, what levels of gang bang fuckfestery are we getting into? A gang bang is like four or five people. I don't know about that. That's just... That's just a good old time.

You're right. A foursome is four people. Four... Five? We're gang bang territory. We're flirting with gang bang. It depends. It depends, really.

Honestly, I think five... I think anywhere under six, it's like just like chilling. Like everyone's having a good old time. Chilling. Yeah. How can you chill? Six. Six.

Six people chill. Six people chill. Over six, though. That's when it gets into gang bang territory. Because think about it. You walk down the street and you see six kids. You're like, oh, that's just a group of kids. All right, but like...

So there's... You see seven kids? That's a gang. What's more people? A gang bang or an orgy? I would say a gang bang. Is more people. Yeah.

So an orgy is what? An orgy is six. An orgy, I think... I would consider a foursome an orgy. I would say... Is that stupid? See, I think an orgy's different because I think orgy insinuates that everyone has like a couple.

And it's not that you're fucking each other. It's just everyone's fucking in the same place. Yeah. You're in that room. You're in this side of the room. Don't look. What? You're over there fucking, you know, someone.

I'm over there fucking someone. You know, Josh is over there fucking someone. And Greg is over here fucking no one. It's... That's an orgy because we're all engaging in our own way. We're all engaging in our own sex in the same room. No, I get it. I get it.

No, but like, yeah, as long as you're in the same... If the four walls, if it encloses all of us and we're all fucking, then we're all part of the thing together. Yeah. But if the door's open, that's tricky. That... It has to be closed. When there's certain paths of...

If we're getting in a path of egress, then it determines like what like really is about... I really wish I knew what that was. Path of egress. I don't want to know. I really don't want to know things. I just want to know what I know now. And just never learn again. But I just think that this man...

I think it starts as like an orgy I would consider like four or five people. Gang bangs like, bro, we got six, seven, eight people here. And then like 25 people? That is like a new word. 25 people could be... That's a... That's like a... A cavalcade of cum.

Like, that's a lot. Yeah. That's a big, big gay boy bomb. A myriad of master beige. Yeah. You know, that's a good old amount. It's insane, dude. I will say this.

Some of my... Who's clean in that? I mean, I guess you clean up after yourselves. I throw a rug down and just bundle them up and throw them out after. That is gross. Yeah. Men are messy. Unless you...

You got to hire a cleaning company. I would assume so. But see, this is the thing is... That's a good business idea if you're going to be like, yo, we're going to clean up after your... After your gang things. Gang things. I...

Some of my favorite times in my life... Josh, write that down. Write it down. Some of my favorite times in my life have been just guy parties. Think about this. Frankie, that's a very dangerous thing to say after what we're talking about. Think about it. Well, listen.

Follow me here. Follow me. Yeah, yeah. When we were younger, you know, like we would have parties and like... Slow down. What? We would have like beer pong parties. Okay, good.

And drinking beers. Yeah. And it would be mostly guys. Mm-hmm. Sometimes 25 guys. Most fun... Sometimes the most fun I've had has been with just guys. Just sausage.

So many guys. Yeah. That kind of sounds awesome because guy parties are cool. When do you hear of girl parties and they're like, oh my god, just girls? It was awesome. Never. It's always like, fucking Britney! Shit!

Like, that's what I'm saying. Also, I think Sausage Fest is a bad name for that. Like I know what point you're trying to get across, but Sausage is great. Awesome. If there was like a Sausage Fest going on down the street, I'm gone. Yeah. When we were younger and people were like, oh, how many are you trying to get in the club with a bunch of guys?

Sausage Fest? Like, I'd go there. She's like, I love Sausage. I love that. And if there's a Fest, you have to assume there's different flavors and that sounds delightful. What? Think about it.

We had some feasts and festivals in our area. If I heard it was just a Sausage Fest, I'm there. I'm showing up. I'm absolutely there. Yeah. But I kind of, like, imagining being gay, close your eyes. You're gay. Like now, like imagine how awesome it would be to be with just 25 of you.

And that's what I'm saying. I think that, like, and I've said this before and this is not a joke and this is not me being funny or like whatever, but like gay people just have the best life. Well, I can't speak for the gay women. I can't speak for gay women because I haven't had this conversation with many gay women, but gay men have had this conversation multiple times. And they are just fucking dude, like crazy. So my college, dude, I remember, it's like we grew up around not a lot of gay people.

Maybe like two, if that, you know, well, at the time we hadn't really known. You know what I mean? So when I went away to college, yo, I swear to God, it was like fucking like Fight Club, but for gay guys. So Fuck Club on a college campus. It was like its own like, dude, it was like the same like 30 gay guys just destroying each other and like having a good old time doing it. And like part of me was like, this is kind of awesome.

Part of you was like, all right, I'm not into that. And it would, you know, I'm not, you know, whatever. But at the same time, you're like, but if I was, what a life, what a life, what a life. And I also wouldn't be one of these people that's like, you say a guy, I'm in the back, you know, kill him. I can't even, I don't even know what you're saying. People do that. I wouldn't be these people that are like so staunchly anti-gay, but back home, I'm just

fucking cranking out just, you know, just Latino boys. Oh yeah. Or Latinx. Excuse me. What's that? LaTinx. LaTinx, whatever they call them now. LaTinx?

Like LaTinx. It's no longer Latino, Latina. I've never heard of that. What is that? It's like the gender-neutral adjective. Oh, oh, yeah, I've never, you also said LaTinx and that sounds like Harry Potter, like Bellatrix or something. It does.

I don't know. But yeah, I just wanted to bring that up because I thought it was interesting. That is interesting. One thing that I would like to like, you know, I would hope, and I don't really know what that stems from, not to get serious, but the people who are like so anti-gay, then being, you find out at least that they're at least bisexual, I mean, you're tending a fucking 25-man orgy, it's safe to say you're kind of into men. So I don't know what does that, like, is it the fear of coming out?

Is it, what is it? Well, yeah, I mean. I also don't know where, you know, Hungarian politics or like Belgium or whatever the fuck, where they stand. I know like in the United States we're like pretty progressive and comparatively in some states and countries. So maybe that's the reason why it's like, if I come out, I mean, it's not, you know, my understanding, you know, from conversations I've had with people that I know that are

gay, it's not, it's difficult. Even in a progressive like country, it's still difficult to be able to make that realization because it's not an easy realization to make that you are basically going against the societal norm, you know what I mean? So I can only imagine in countries, again, I don't know Hungary, so I can't really speak for their, you know, politics or, you know, their societal view of the homosexual, you know, LGBTQ plus community. I can only assume that if this person is one of those people that's staunchly anti-gay,

then it exists there to some degree too. Oh yeah. And it's just you're afraid. Well, we have that too in this country. There's people who are just like, there is a rumor about a very popular politician who like apparently is just fucking slamming male escorts and is like the most anti-gay. Why, why are you not saying their name? Because I don't want to get sued.

Nah, dude, fuck it. Apparently. We know him. We're boys with him. Who is it? I mean, we're not boys with him. But I don't know if he's going to, he's white and he'll sue us. I never know.

I love rumors. He'll sue you. There are rumors. I am not, I am just conveying that I've heard these rumors. I'm not perpetuating and adding to them that- This is good. This is going to save us in court. That's right.

That reportedly there are a lot of male escorts that have expressed that they have been hired on multiple occasions by Lindsey Graham. And he like, he's so against jerk offs, I'm jerk off. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But apparently that's what rumors have suggested that he is one of those people, like Mr. Hungry. He's very afraid of the gays, but also behind the scenes is just taking a couple of weens. I wonder, you have to make everything right, don't you?

You're poetic. I'm sorry. Aren't you? No, yeah. Interesting sort of thing. I just can't relate to it, not the gay part, just relating to being outwardly against something and then secretly being for it. On this question, how do you think your family would react if you were like, I'm gay?

My family is one of the most like, they don't care, they would just be happy that I'm telling them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I told them when I was like my age now, and then told them, they would be like, so what were you doing for the past like, you know, they'd probably be upset that I didn't tell them earlier thinking that I was like living in fear. Like they're very, you know, you know, but I don't know if there's anyone in my family, even my extended family that would be like, oh, I mean, you don't know because you're

not in the situation. Unfortunately. No, but you know your family, you know, I mean, you think, you know, no, but I feel like, but also I've had conversations where you can see where people stand, like how progressive they are, like, you know, if like you have uncles or like whoever have who say some like racist shit, I don't really have that in my family. Like I make jokes that like that happens, but like, it really doesn't like the only thing that I'll say is that sometimes because my family is very like everyone's a fucking

comedian, right? Everyone thinks they're hilarious. So sometimes they sometimes they make jokes and you're like, well, that wouldn't did that didn't age, you know, like you probably couldn't tell that joke now. Oh, I literally had a handful of jokes that I remember a family member of yours telling me and I was like, those don't don't do that anymore. But it's not like coming from a place of like, right, like, you know, it's yeah, oh, absolutely. I think it's also different because we live in probably the most progressive place in

America, if not one of the top five, a diverse at least, you know, I mean, in terms of like liberal, you know, politics and, you know, being progressive, even conservative politics, the people that are more progressive and stuff, I think like this is the fucking mixing pot of all of that. You want to hear something insane? Yes, sir. This is a stereotype. Of course it is.

But say it, do you know that like, this is weird, not weird, but like, so Boston, yeah, when you think of Boston, you think of like these heroin and racism. Okay, right, heroin, dude, Boston, but listen, listen, listen, listen. Do you know that they have been a blue like city for like 40, like no county, amazing. Like one county has been read, amazing, which is, which is like, you know, politics aside, but it's like, you know, obviously like if you feel blue, people care about like more liberal, progressive social issues. Well, Boston at the state of Massachusetts might have red counties, but like around no

the state, the whole state, yes, no way. I'm, I'm, dude, there's no, there's no way I do. I'm pretty certain like not one. Okay. It's insane. That is, that is kind of crazy. It's funny because it's the, it's just the loud minority of people that you hear like when fucking someone was just like cheering like racist slurs at Adam Jones on the Orioles

years ago. Yeah. Everyone was like, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. But it's so funny to think of just like, you know, like just typical like Bostonians that are just like super progressive. Yeah. I mean, when people think of New York, do you think of like idiots because like, I mean,

also there's a bunch of videos on Tik Tok of like these kids in New York and they're like, yo, you not from New York unless you, unless you say that ass. And it's like good contribution. Yeah. No, you're, you definitely from there. Yeah. And also they're all like always hanging out in Times Square. I'm like, yo, no one from here hangs out there.

It's like the people where it's like the typical Yankee fan and it's the Yankee Jersey with the wife beater and the fucking Newsy hat. Like that's literally like a paper boy hat like 0.0001% is like, oh, besides that was the best. Yeah. Listen, I don't give a fuck what you say about my Yankees, but don't you fucking say anything about my gay friends. Yeah.

They have, they have like the Yankee tattoo on their calf. Oh my God. And they got big calves. Very big calf. Weird. They have a wife beater tucked into George with the Yankee tattoo on the back of their fucking calf. Open, open Jersey, Newsy hat and Italian horn chain.

Oh yeah. I just described some of your dads. I probably some of you. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Some of you. Yeah.

It's fucking absolutely true. But yeah, it's funny to think it like the Bostonians like just not giving a flying fuck. And it's like, well, they should have sweet at if you don't, if you call my friend a gay slur. It's a rat. It's your rat. Um, all right. So anyway, Christmas is almost here.

Yes. Hey, go easy, by the way, having the neighbors, they just moved in. I know. I was here with the other day when they were moving in. Yeah. I gave them a bottle of wine. Did you? Yeah.

I knocked on their door. I was like, Hey man, just want to, you know, are they cool or they suck? They were great. No, they don't suck. No, I mean, I haven't seen any of my neighbors. Those are the first neighbors. I met another one of your neighbor. His name is also Joe.

Oh yeah. But like, I have never even seen someone in the hallway. Dude, you got it. What you got to do is you just got to drop. There's only two other people. Ring the doorbell or knock on the door, drop a bottle of wine. I'm not going to do that, dude. Say from your friend over at 6C.

No. Yeah. I'm not going to do that. That's, that's heavy. But anyway, so Christmas is coming up and me and Frankie made Christmas lists of things that we want this year for Christmas. So we're going to like, and not only do we want, but sometimes maybe the world needs. Of course.

No, because we're, let's be honest, your, our opinions are representative of the whole nation and possibly the planet. I think yes. You know, so this could, this, you might want to put some of this stuff on your Christmas list. Yeah. You got a couple days by the time this comes out. So before you say one, you have to say this year.

For Christmas. Yeah. For Christmas this year, I want. Yes. And then the thing. Okay. All right. Do you want to go first or me?

Um, I will, I'll, I'll go, I'll go first. Okay. All right. I'll try to make these happen for you, by the way. What do you mean? Oh, cute. Um, easy one. For Christmas this year, I really want people to stop saying I look like Pedro Pascal.

Who the fuck is that? He's the guy that plays the Mandalorian. I'll say this. Oh, I know who that is now. No one. Yes. One. Yes.

And no, that's it. Why not? You don't look like Pedro Pascal. Watch this. You ready? Pull up a picture of Pedro Pascal. Do it now. And you'll see.

If I get it enough, I've been told I look like enough celebrities. And now, now I got to fucking look like Pedro Pascal. Pull up the picture. Okay. Now watch. Ready? Wow. That's a pretty good one.

You look fucking nothing like him at all. I don't know about that. All right. I'm going to go now. This year for Christmas, I want Velcro sneakers to come back. Oh, light up. I didn't even think of that. But yo, think about this, right?

Why do Velcro sneakers get such a bad rep? They're way more like convenient. It makes more sense. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like put some fake laces on it, but like, I don't want to tie this every time. Listen. And untie it?

I don't know if this is like just in America, but for some reason we have such pride in being able to tie a knot. Who gives a shit? What are we, pirates? Dude, don't care. I don't give a fuck. You can tie a knot. Congratulations.

Bunny ear. Bunny ear. I was like, dude, just fucking, I'm with you. I'm all about convenience. Wait. How'd you learn how to tie your shoes? What was it? Did you do it like a swoop?

I did. Under. Have you ever seen me tie my shoes? They're violent. I could just see that. And I go loop, or round the loop, pull it through. Was there like a saying? No.

These people that are like, you know, put the bunny ear, bunny ear, in a heenie. Yeah. That sounds like someone from Mississippi like ties their shoes that way. Yeah. It's stupid. You can't tie your shoes. Maybe don't fucking wear shoes anymore. 877-393-4448.

What was that for? Like cable or something? It was for, it was for fucking basic cable. Yeah. Yeah. Jesus Christ. That's a New York jam. That guy was like a lobster.

That guy, that was a New York fucking jam. It was a commercial. I had a jingle. But no, I wanted Velcro sneakers back because like I hate tying shoes and untying shoes and then I slip out of them and I'm like, I have to untie them to put them on back to tie them. Yeah. Like can we just rip these off, take my photo, put it back in, swoop it back on?

Like can they come back in style? It's all I'm asking. Why is it just, or flying it where I could just slip in and out of shit? That's not bad. I mean, flying it is still around. I mean, it is, but like, we need a popular one. But like, yeah, the kids and old people shouldn't be the only ones that get the awesome Velcro shoes.

Right. Everyone in between deserves some. Breed. Ooh, Joey. Start a shoe line of just Velcro shoes. I might. You might. I don't have that kind of influence yet.

Joey, what I want for Christmas is to no longer look at Ariana Grande and feel guilty. Guilty? She looks like she's 12 still, dude. Does she? Like I can't, I haven't looked at her. Like I can't look at like, like, you know, you look at her and people are like, oh my god, she's pretty. And look at her.

And I feel like if I'm going to be like, yeah, she's a pretty woman. I can't even say woman. Like it just like, it just like, I had to force it out. She's very young looking. She's like, and I'm not saying like I'm sitting there thinking like, ah, well, I don't, I don't, I don't think like that. But like, I, I see her and I see a child still. Well, you know what it is.

I also heard that she likes to talk in a baby voice. By the way, you need to be tread lightly right now because Ariana Grande fans will not have any of this shit. I'm not saying anything in a pro. I'm just saying, no, I'm just, I'm just warning you. BTS the other week, now I'm talking about Ariana Grande. I got a phone. One time I got attacked by the Beehive and that was bad.

The Beehive, you mean? Beehive. Get them. I don't know. I didn't know how to pronounce it. No, but like, yeah, I got, I got, someone's like, oh, yo, one time I said, because what I tweeted this thing about Beyonce, I tweeted this thing about Beyonce and I said, like, I haven't really liked a Beyonce song since Love on Top.

She's a great, she's, I love, she's a great talent, whatever, blah, blah, blah. Love on Top, banger, but I'm not a big Beyonce fan like that kind of music. So that I wrote, dude, you would have thought I fucking torched her. I was getting ripped up by people. Hey man, maybe people are allowed to not like stuff. Dude, one kid was like, yo, you're so fucking irrelevant. It's fucking comical. And I was like, God, and then one person's like, yo, you're only saying that because

you're jealous and you're only worth like one tenth of what she's worth. And I was like, I fucking, wait, what's worth that? Dude, one tenth, like $15 million. That would be insane. Yeah. That would be fucking awesome. No. Hey guys.

Hey America. World. It's all right to have preferences. Yeah. It's all right. But no, love on top. That's the fucking bang bang. Yeah.

And she, she changes their fucking. But yeah. So like, I just like, I want to finally get over where like I could see Ariana Grande. Like it's just weird, you know, it's like the reason I don't have Tik Tok. One of the reasons I don't have Tik Tok is because I don't want to go on there and then I'm just like looking at my phone and someone sees on my shoulder and there's a 13 year old just like, yeah, yeah, you know, I don't want to fucking luckily Tik Tok actually does a really good job with their algorithm that like if you don't engage with any of that

shit, you eventually don't see it. Great. So I don't, the only things that I see is like people in like Czechoslovakia, like pranking their friends with like Hannah. I got you. Yeah. Like hitting them with like shovels and shit. Like it's great.

It's like, I have the weirdest. I turned off your water. Haha. You're alone forever. I got you. Oh God. Okay. That's a good one.

This year for Christmas, I want punk rock to come back. Remember punk rock? Dude. But like what year punk rock? Are we talking like? I'm talking about like Blinqueen 82 and like Good Charlotte or like, like taking back Sunday and stuff. Taking back Sunday.

Yeah, dude. Cause they always had weird, like I loved punk rock back in those times because all the bands had like weird names. It was like backseat vampires and you're like, and you're like, what does that even mean? Dude, I used to love the, remember the offspring? Yeah. And it's like, what is that? It doesn't matter.

But they had that one song and then my friend has a girlfriend and he hates that bitch. Yeah. Yeah. Repeat. I'm fucking repeat. Repeat. Some 41. That'd be nice to bring back punk.

It's crazy. And also those songs, those, it is, the weird thing about those bands is that their song titles were always long as shit. It was always like girls like bad boys and bad boys are girl hungry. And I'm like, what the fuck is this song about? You're like, how do you fit this on a track list? Yup. Girl, you miss me, but I bet you won't when I wake up next week.

Yeah. It's like, come on. It's like, what are we talking about? Yeah. Yeah. It's like, are you writing a letter? I like that. I do like that.

That's a good one. Oh man. I wish I had thought of that. Joey, for Christmas this year, I want people to stop losing their minds when new video game consoles come out. People fucking go nuts. I think anyone, any sort of electronic that's new, people will line up for that. Dude, it doesn't make sense though.

Think about it. What fucking launch titles do these video games have? They don't make it anymore. Like they'd be like, whoa, whoa, you're buying PlayStation 5 or Demon's Soul? I know you don't get this because you're not really in the fucking, you say Demon's Soul? Demon's Souls. Yeah.

That's, that's another band's name. It's gotta be. Yeah. Demon's Souls? Yeah. They have a song called Hot Bloody Come. Too much, right? Way too much.

But like, everyone just fucking chill out. You know what I mean? Like everyone just stop fucking making it seem like this is the biggest, most important thing in the world. It's really not. Yo, also the people that show up to like when the iPhone drops or like whatever. And then you buy it and then you go to the line and you just smash it on the ground. You're a nerd.

Dude, you're so, you're so corny. So corny. Stupid. It's like, oh, yo, see, we're controlled by electronics. Like here's what I, you're a nerd. Or the people. Actually the one that is kind of funny. Did you ever see the video?

It was from fucking like 2011 of the guy, oh it was way before 2011, but like it was the guy that like drove past a Barnes and Noble of people waiting to get the Harry Potter book and he was like, Dumbledore dies on 6.30 or some shit like that and it was, that shit is hilarious. No, that shit is, I would, Frankie, if I told you the ending to Avengers Endgame before you saw it. Yeah, I'd hurt you. You wouldn't talk to me.

I'd hurt you. I would. I'd fuck you up. If I like, I don't even know, like it kidnapped your wife for a month. I feel like you'd be less mad at me. You'd be mad. I'd be upset. But probably less mad than I told you the ending.

Because you'd at least put her somewhere warm. Yeah, it would be summer. It'd be nice. It'd be pretty nice. Put her somewhere. Oh my God. All right. This year for Christmas, I want cooler priests, you know what I mean?

I want priests to be cool, like I want them to just be like in the neighborhood, like you go to the park and there's a priest like hitting three pointers. Just jaying people? Yeah, like I want you to bless me on Sunday and then Monday like cross me over. Well, apparently Pope Frankie is like out there like saying like, yo, the gays are cool, fucking let's ball up. And he's also liking Instagram models pictures with their asses out. Dude, my guy is out there and he is, he's pretty dope.

Yo, you know he was slamming that Holy Spirit that night. Oh my goodness. All right. He was in the red robe and everything or to the Cardinals where the bird roped. I don't know anything about that. But my guy, I hear what you're saying though, cool in the sense of like they're like, you could trust them. Not like cool, like they're going to give you a fucking wine cooler and then.

No, no, no, not like that. No, I'm sad. But like also I would like to see him at the bar, like just getting hammered and like he's on the bar. He's rapping Jay-Z and you're like, Daniel, the fucking tabernacle can open tonight or whatever that is. Can priests like drink? Bro, they do.

The blood of Christ. No, no, no, no. I'm talking about. I'm saying like you can't convince them to course light is the piss of Moses. They're drinking the blood of Christ, but they're always drinking grandpa's medicine as well. All right. So I mean, I listen, I went to a Catholic high school.

A lot of those brothers were walking around with alcoholic faces. Really? Like, you know how they're like the Irish flush? Yeah, exactly. Like white people get flush in the face. Full the road Molly had some wine back at home. Exactly. Yeah.

That's what are we Scotland? Not that far off. I was expecting something worse. Joey, what I want for Christmas this year. Hold on real quick. Santa. He's not. He's up there.

Well, no, I mean, you would look at the horizon because the earth, the earth's round. You're right. You wouldn't. You're right. Unless you believe the earth is flat or wait, that wouldn't even be flat. I guess not. What were you going to say? No, I just wanted to talk about priests.

Oh, go ahead. No, I was just going to say, like, have you ever seen a priest in like a cool setting? Dude, I. Are they allowed out? That was another question. I don't know. They have like homes in the church. They're like, yo, you come here and you pray for a living and we'll give you a house.

The only difference between priests and homeless people is one of them is allowed to sleep in the church. That's pretty much. I think I just blasphemed a little bit. Yeah. But it's okay. But I'll, my grandma will take care of that. Oh, is she like cool with God?

Yeah. I mean, she's up there. She's got to be. And she was a big fan of his. Big, old fan of God. I'm assuming she's hanging. Yeah. I hope so.

But they're not in there. They're in the directory. Is that what it's called? Wait a sec. You're telling me people priests that are notorious for touching little boys live in a rectum re? Not rectum re. Erectore.

Oh. But rect is definitely in it. I guess there's a rect and rectum in there. I think it's because it's behind the church. Like a rectum is like behind you. Gotcha. So a rectory. That could not be the reason why.

I think we used to get yelled at. Remember we would play manhunt around St. Francis and these, dude, I'll say this. Kids, you can't play tech. No, it was better than I was like, please go home and go to your parents and not gonna be playing hide and seek in my yard, please. They were fucking, and those pipes, they could belt out when they want to tell you to stop too. Why do they always wear the black and white men in black?

It's got to be a costume of some sort. I mean, it's a, it's a uniform, not a costume. It's okay. I'm not playing dress up. I mean. You think any priests listen to this show? Hope not. Probably a lot of prayer after that.

Yeah. Forgive me, Father, for I've listened to it again. Yeah. That would be tough. God, God. I just want to play basketball against a priest. That's all I'm saying. Dude, if we know any, if any of you guys that listen to this know any priests that just

like fucking J up and like are super chill, like a ball and priest, let me know. Dude, let's get a priest on here. Priest in here. That can just fucking drink beer with us and talk about like how they don't do like the priest and the Sopranos. He was, you know, trying to bang Mrs. Soprano and he was drinking. He was having wine night with all the women. Let me know.

I'm thinking about hot priest from Fleabag. Have you seen Fleabag? No. There's a hot priest in there. There's hot priest in there. Sexy priest? It's a guy. That's what I'm asking.

Yeah. It's hot priest. Did he have like a nice shape? Yeah. He was a good looking priest. Nice. Good like a priest. But he was like, I will not.

And she's like, I'm going to fuck you. Like I'm going to do it. Wow. She's English though. I said fuck. I'm going to fuck you. And he was like, no. And then he didn't.

He did. Maybe I'm not going to spoil it. I mean, temptation, historically temptation wins, right? That's gotta. That's gotta. For forgiveness. That's why no one goes to heaven anymore. Call Josh for me.

I need to ask him something. Can you edit that out, please? And the whole thing. Eric, the whole thing. Otherwise God's going to be pissed. He's not happy with us. Also called Frankie's God. Zeus?

Uh, maybe. I thought Frankie doesn't know. Call Greece. I don't know. What do you, Greek Orthodox? I was baptized in Greek Orthodox. Yeah, whatever that means. They believe in just a lot of oil.

Call the, call the olive oil industry. And something. I do something. Okay. I have to get to the ad. Dude, that was the best money you've ever spent on a prop. Ever. 100%.

I don't even know how I came up with the idea. I was like, I'm just going to get a rotary phone. Okay. Oh, by the way, rotary phone merch. All right. There's a rotary phone on it. And then it says edit that out. All right.

Let's get to the ads here before we move forward. Because if we talk about anything, you know, other holy stuff, people are going to be pissed off. Catholics already hate me. They are. They're very mad at us. They sent me messages. They hate me because they say I didn't make too many jokes about being Catholic.

But it's like, that's all I know. I grew up in a church. Mr. Catholic. I mean, I didn't grow up in a church. You did grow up in a church. I went to church. I didn't grow up inside of it like fucking. I never went.

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Mmm, you're getting good at that. It's hot in this house. You should do this, bro. You should pack your stuff full time. All right, Santa, I'm going to pick it back up. Santa, for Christmas this year, I want a reason to stop hating the south. The south. The south of the country.

Yeah. You don't like the south? All I'm giving. South's going to be angry. I know. But listen, I like the south. But all I'm giving in terms of news and stuff is reasons to not like the south. You don't hear about like, oh, the south is...

They get a bad press. They do get a bad rap. Give me a reason to like them. They have bad press. Well, barbecue. Well, that's not just the south. No, that's other places as well. But the south.

Any time, I mean, think about it. Any time you hear about Florida and the news, it's either there's alligators or there's fucking methed up cokeheads that are just running rampant naked through a fucking Kmart. Yeah, they're like banging toilets. That's what I'm saying. Like, give me reasons. I know that they're not all fucking disgusting hogs down there, but give me a reason, America, Christmas, Santa, to like the south.

Like, give me a reason. They're getting very bad press right now. Yeah. I need a reason. You made me alone. Mm-hmm. Is that the song? I don't know.

Yeah, that's what I need because, like, you know, everyone needs a break. We only have breaks in this year and I need the south needs a bigger break. Yeah. All right. You don't care about that one. God almighty, I know I shouldn't have wrote it. Santa? This year for Christmas, I want to get rid of bartenders that do too much.

You know what I mean? Like the fucking. Yeah. Like, dude, I want a Jack and Coke. I don't want a circus act here. Like, what is this? This is in Benihana. It's like, can I get a Jack and Coke?

Yeah. Have you ever been to a bar where- They're flipping it on their elbow and you're like, dude, just pour it. Have you ever been to a bar where they, like, throw it behind their back and there's, like, oh. Yeah. Like, you have? Dude.

I've never been to one. Or, like, the way that bartenders shake stuff is hilarious to me. Oh, wow. No, because, like, it's not just like this. Like, you could shake, like, like you're jerking off the fattest penis in the world. Big one. But they, like. Yeah.

Dude, I- I'm like, yo, are you dancing? Dude, you're dancing on the clock. I know it's the right way to do it, but, like, I know, I know people that are in that industry and, like, when they make you a drink, they're just, like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah. It's like, take it easy. It's like, guys.

It's a drink. Also, you shook it. Put it in the cup now. No, I will say to their defense- They shook it a lot. There's, like, a fucking science behind this shit. Of course there's a science, but- It's like, you shake it, like, with certain ingredients.

I think you forget that I don't like to know information. Gotcha. I just like to speak. And be wrong. I get it. I get it, Joey. It makes sense. And I understand it whole, whole, whole heartedly.

Oh, fuck. It makes sense, you know? But I'm with you there. I understand. Like, can you imagine in another field, like, imagine a doctor, right? He's about to perform, like, open heart surgery. And before he uses the scalpel, he's using them as drumsticks on your nipples. He's like, oh.

Yeah. It's like, doc, just cut him open. Doc, he's washing his hands. He's like, oh. Yeah. He's like, oh. Yeah, I'm with you. I'm with you on that one.

I'm fucking with you on that. He does the hand drive. What is the hand drive? The hand drive. He's like, yeah, I got to wash up, you know? The fuck is this shit? Yo, this sucks, by the way. This is the widest this ever.

This sucks. How does it- do you know the hand drive? Yeah, it's- Dude. I don't know the last part. You just shot it. No, boy. Yo, that sucks, dude.

It's so bad. Dude, it does suck. The hand drive. Whose idea was this? All the people that are like, you know, like- Yo, just make it- just do that. You know what sucks? You don't like the roll.

Dude, the roll fucking sucks. Dude, never. Ever has it been cool. Do you like the roll? No. The roll looks cool. It doesn't feel cool. Dude, I will say this.

There is a legitimate force. Like, I legitimately, when I do that fast enough, I'm like, yo, how are they not touching? No, no, no. Back up. Yo, I'm not really good at this. Back up a little bit. Okay.

Yo, as fast as you can go, do that, but try to make them touch. They won't. It's fucking science. Oh, no, I can touch my hands. Look, watch, watch, watch. You put yourself in the face. What?

You put yourself in the face a little bit. Come on. You're fucking playing. But like, it's fucking... This sucks. It punched himself in the face. Did you stop? Did you hear that?

You were like... All right, take it easy Charlie, he's fine. If I punch you right now, what will he do? He'll lose it. Yeah, he'll lose it. And I just don't... Fuck you Joey. Stop stop stop. No, don't rile him up. Seriously. Oh, he's dreaming. He's dreaming. He's got a thing. He's not he's awake

He's scratching his fucking thing scratching his face on the floor. Yes. He's a weird guy idiot. All right I have a thing. Oh wait, it was it was my turn. It was my turn. It wasn't this year for Christmas I want to hug from Keith so bad So bad No, you're not getting I'm straight and I want to hug and cuddle Keith so fucking hard. Yeah, you know I get it. You're okay That was fucking tough. He's a he's not a hugger. He's not it's a very rare. You got to get him drunk I've had him real drunk. He'll slam that sounds weird. I've had him

Got him. I've got people real. I've got Keith real drunk like him and I've been drunk together He's not even very drunk in the same vicinity gotcha and he just is not about hugging me But he's about talking to me this close. Yeah, he is so about face hug you he might yeah I might be able to kiss him before he hugs me. That's true because he gets close enough All right, Santa for this year. I want more horses and cities You know what I mean, but not like but not like that people are like like a horse in carriage I just want people I just want horses to like, you know be around and run around like I feel like yo

If we're able to train elephants to like paint an apple Then we can train horses to obey. Is that something that we've trained them to do you I've seen oh no No, yeah, I've seen an elephant fucking draw like paint an apple really yeah like oh like on a canvas Yeah, you meant like like painting the apple. No, no, no like paint a picture of an apple. Oh, yeah, so I mean what the fuck That's I was like where have I been way more impressive to paint a picture of an apple than to just put paint on an apple No, it's a little apple It's a you can you can make a big ass But that's stupid no

But I feel like if we could train animals to do stuff like that then we can definitely train horses to like just be in the city Or just like pay attention to the lights. I want like don't run a red light horse. I want You know what I'm saying like but let them run around I want like a whole city to just be like yo no more cars and just horse horses But like you can't ride them. They just kind of you can have a car But you can't use it in the city limits you need a you need to now own a horse Or just there's a lot of yield signs and horses have the right of way Oh, this is basically we're getting on this country now, baby because when I was out there, let me tell you horses horses

Like a lot of them. They were all about he's biting his dick now. That's good. That's fine They were all about like the horses like had the right Yeah, why are you like so intrigued with your dog because he has that thing and if you start scratching I'm gonna go over there and punch him in the face should Peter Now just so everyone knows because there might be a little bit of a panic in a second My dog has this thing that's called a hot spot on his neck Which is basically just like this little skin infection if he itches it it makes it worse

So if he goes to itch it, I'm gonna run over there and grab his leg And I'm gonna scream at him Charlie stop Okay, dude. This dog is a human in a dog's body. Yeah, you know that right? I know he's huge and he has such a human face. He does. He does. He does have human face and eyes Whose turn was it? I think it was my turn for God for Christmas. This why God you say that for Christmas this year I want mozzarella sticks to stop going straight to my fucking love handles Where do you want them to go anywhere else balls?

I wish I had the body so I could eat something and it just comes out. That'd be so cool, dude. I my brother-in-law from Beccaside he legitimately Can eat anything and nothing and nothing fucking happens to him crazy His lunch is like fucking the three taquitos and a fucking hot dog from 7-eleven and a and a gulp a Big gulp a gulp and this guy's just like yeah, I feel great dude if I had like Ah took keto That's an afternoon. Have you what was the last time you had like a hot dog not made? Like in a proper way, you know what I mean like not like you made it or you got in a game a ball game

Right, just like just like a hot dog like a Costco hot dog. Oh my god. I 2004 dude, I I had one like ten years ago I swear to God. I thought I was dying. You just started sweating dude. My body. I was like Well hot dogs are basically like meat with crushed up cigarettes in it, right pretty much Yeah, isn't that what it actually like it's like fucking goop. No, but it's like it's like carcinogens and shit Like I don't know what that is. It's a thing. It's a carcinogen. Yeah carcinogen, which I know that sounds like yeah People are like, oh you you if you knew what you were eating you wouldn't want to eat it. It's like yeah, yeah, no shit I don't want to know. Yeah, I just want to tell me I'm gonna eat it

Just don't if you fed me shit and dressed it up. So I didn't know it was shit I'll fucking love it if you put maple syrup on shit Might you might have me there it might it'll taste good as soon as it gets in my mouth And then maybe afterwards they have to test me bad I wonder what happens if you eat shit. Can you shit shit? What do you shit shit? Would you double shit? You get shit squared. I don't know if you could turn shit into shit. I think it just becomes shit No, your body like breaks it into just like it like breaks it and then like compress it It's already been broken. So maybe it like it's like super shit

Maybe it's like composting. You know how they say like if you compost it gives you like the most like nutrient rich Fucking like soil. I'm pretty sure you would you'd be fucked up if you ate shit. Why cuz it's shit It's just shit though, but if it's good for the grass, it's good for my ass You know what I'm saying like what really could it do? That's not an expression. I died. We made it one right now Well, it's not scientifically back like you can eat you can drink your piss and like you're good, but not you're not good Are you sure about that? I'm not like positive, but like you can't like survive off of your piss. Otherwise, no one would go thirsty We can eat we can eat animal shit and we're fine

Who can well like there's like, you know in meat. There's like small traces of animal shit. We're cool. Yeah traces I don't trace amounts is not eating shit if you took a fucking spoonful of shit and mixed it in with meat You might be okay. You might not you could have like Sepsis or something now you'd be all right or like you get like a tapeworm which I could use a tapeworm right now Dude, I can fucking give them to me. Yeah. Yeah, send me y'all drink Oh, just tell me just if anyone out there's got a tapeworm come on the show come on the show We could both use the tape keep the ringworm bring the tape Yeah, bring the tapeworm keep the ring give me the tape. Yeah, and also bring the medicine because I only want it for like

It's five days and then I'll be fine. Yeah, and then I want to shit out this big rubber band It's disgusting. It's gross. I'm I would be had a tapeworm when I remember you showed me his shit It was terrible. Yeah, I was honestly scared. I was scared my dog when I ain't shit worms dogs have worms shitty When I got my dog, he was so underweight from the groomer the groomer breeder whatever fuck it is. Oh shocker didn't adopt sorry, um, I Didn't adopt because I have a dog and the you know, I was afraid that another dog would kill him if There was something wrong with it But so the groomer gave me and he had two fucking parasites

So I had to go and he had to take the medicine and then one day because he had like a tapeworm in him One day he shit out this tapeworm. It literally looks like not just a regular rubber rubber band You know those like thick ones it looked like that like a big piece of feta Cheney I know what you're talking about and I've seen them and they're fucking terrifying scary I would be afraid ever tell you no, I know I told you this what about my dad with the tapeworm No, I think we made a video about this. It was like a clip. Maybe I oh, maybe I didn't tell you. Maybe I told Danny Nice, I never I Didn't tell you um

How what my dad said how to get rid of the tapeworm? No Listen to this I already know the things that you're right My dad said he cuz tapeworms they survive off of the things that you eat He goes, you know, and he was dead serious. You know how much intense my dad is Mm-hmm. He goes, you know how they get rid of tapeworms They get a plate of food and they put it in front of you and you just open your mouth Stop ready because you open your mouth and then the tapeworm smells the food and eventually starts climbing out And then they just keep pushing the plate further and further and eventually it just comes out like that

And I looked at my dad and I said do you think I'm a fucking idiot How fucking stupid do you think I am he really thought That I'm like or You take an antibiotic and it dies and you shit it out dude. That's I'm not gonna snake charm a tapeworm out of me You put on Steely Dan They were comes out dancing I will say this if that was a way to get rid of it It would be the most terrifying thing that I needed to watch a video of and I would also vomit with a tapeworm crawling out

Of my throat you could you could pull it out if a tapeworm gets right here like oh, yeah Yeah, it's like but also they're like four feet long. Are they I don't know. It's like the magicians are just fucking eggs out of their mouths and shit. Yeah, all right I decided that was impressive by the way. You want to see me pull a bunch of hangar just magicians That's why no one gives a fuck about them. We I love magicians. Do you dude? I would love a magician in here. Just magicianing us just magicking everywhere. Yeah, dude I would love that dude I will learn how to do magic if it like makes you happy it make me do like yes over the moon

Okay, I'm gonna fucking like Chris. Hey, you're gonna get like freaked out by the magic I do I'd be like dude. All right, Joey, you know, I'm gonna put a fucking nail in my nose I want you to just like walk in here and you're like levitating That would be fire. Yeah, I always wondered remember you got served when he levitates. I was like what? Yeah, it was like oh, he just wore a black shoe. Yeah, fuck man How's he levitating? How's he transcending dance to magic? That movie is magical though, dude, you know many times I've danced in the mirror to the fucking What?

dude That movie's coming to Netflix soon by the way if not already on it You got served. Yeah, I was gonna say B2k B2k bring back B2k. Where's where's our marion and Marquis Houston for real? I also shout out to little saint, but anyway, go ahead. Who's that? He's the kid who died in the movie spoiler Oh, Jesus Christ Joey this month a little saint. All right, Joey for Santa for Christmas what I want this year Please I finally want someone to tell me that I have Big dick energy

You've never gotten no one has ever told me that they've been like you're confident, but never like That'll well, that's not very big dick energy. That's not that's what I'm saying. See yeah, I'm fucking living it right now I always get tweets from From people whenever we talk about gay stuff not all the time, but like whenever we talk about like Whenever we're like comfortable talking about like being other other men being hot. Yeah, they're like, oh, this is big dick energy That's awesome. I've gotten all you get it all I don't I don't walk around and people like y'all this dude's got some energy But like what I'm saying like cat when I walk around like you are you walking you're a little catty kid you and Pete you walk on your

Toe catty kit you walk on your toes a lot. I don't walk on my toes a lot. Yeah, you do You do you absolutely do but like no one it like you know what I'm saying like you see someone do something like you know Like and he's like that's that's that's a big old You know swinger I and I honestly honestly, yeah between you and me I felt that way them not anyone out not because I'm talking about them when I gave my neighbors a bottle of wine Dude, that's big dick when I walked out when they shut the door. I was like I just crushed that you know what good neighbor I recently had big dick energy oddly enough. It was with Becca's parents So you big dick to her parents

Take it easy I they were like oh like we you know there were TV was acting up So I went and I bought him a fire stick Yeah, that's a little kind of like oh you got TV problems boom fire stick and I gave him my login for Disney Plus Why look listen? I'm a provider. I'm a provider for your family. Well, you need pop the hood. I'll fix it When you can just be like I got it and it does feel nice. Yeah, all right. I got something else Okay, Santa for this year. I want to get rid of hiccups. Can we stop? What the fuck is a hiccup? I think it's like a modern marvelous It doesn't do anything for me. It is nothing. It just hurts and like it's childish like every time I get hiccups

I'm like I look like a little I look like a little kid who had too much apple juice There are even weirdos out there that like sneezing. No one has ever been happy about the hiccups No one's ever like thank God You ever double up on a hiccup? Like I mean that was a triple. That was a triple up that'll kill a person But like literally I have a double hiccup where I'm like Oh, and then it feels like my heart's like yo, I'm gonna stop Have you ever done the the near-death trifecta a sneeze burp and hiccup at the same time?

Yo, I have I kid you not I sneeze in fart all the time. I swear to God crazy I Swear I thought my teeth were gonna get blown out of my mouth because it was just so much pressure. It was like Like it was all what's the order what happened sneeze at the same time hiccup burp What does it even sound like? That would just sound like like that's not like no It's like more like because I sneeze I let it ring, you know, I let freedom ring when I sneeze Yeah, I'm not one of those the people that see this

Those people scare me dude, they're gonna blow their head up. Yeah, we know bosses like that He sneezes on the inside dude. You never heard boss sneeze. Yeah, I hate when people do that. No, no my sister I literally think she's gonna like blow out her ear her fucking ear. She's like and I'm like, dude Just just go out go let it go but the people who just go oh I'm like nothing now that I've never seen that I've never seen my yeah, my dad used to fucking your dad is Yeah, my dad's gotten so many countries sick with his sneezes. Oh, yeah Well, here we are he'll sneeze into the wind and like someone will get sick in like Sri Lanka. It's insane. Yeah No, but seriously like the people that are like

Like you're playing with fire like your brain just gonna fucking blow out the back of your head Yeah, that should be scary. My the worst knees are in the world is my dad though. My dad sneezes like a shotgun. He's like And I was like Jesus Christ dad Yeah, do you like sneezing? No, I mean it's brutal. I hate sneezing so much I hate when I have like 15 sneezes and everyone looks at you like how dare you destroy our night Disgusting sneeze. It's like I can't help this for some reason when when back and first found out she was pregnant Apparently, it's like a thing that like your sinuses act up

She was sneezing like 30 times a day Oh, and I told her like the first one I was like bless you second one I was like chill go to bed get away. Yeah, let's go sit in the closet I also just hate people who can't who like go to block their nose when they sneeze, but they're just not even close They're like and you're like, what is this? No, no marching in a band. Get up. No, the worst there are these people Yeah, cuz that's gross too. That's disgusting now. Now. That's basically terrorism. Yeah, like before creating a dirty bomb Do you remember like in like elementary school when kids would sneeze and they'd be like? Yeah, I did that like three times to get out of a class

Stop. Yeah, you sneezed fake sneeze. Yeah, it's facing and then you but I'm an incredible fake sneeze or you know that I know You know, I'm a good one doing okay On the pressure's on okay, all right It's great It's pretty good. It's pretty good. Thanks to great sneeze And then you would be like all I have boogies and they'd be like go outside It was like how many I think I've done this to you multiple times Like you know when like you like come face to face with someone and then I would fix these in their face

Yeah, you know can't do that anymore. No big thanks. COVID. Thanks, Obama ruined one of Frankie's best bits How dare you all right Joey? I got how many do you have left? I don't know I have four left Jesus Christ I Know God one of the things I've done here. I just wrote toaster strudel. Oh Because I haven't back no because like I know they're a thing but they don't get the same press as they once did There used to be a toaster strudel commercial on every time I watch a show with the pills Very dope boy and it would be like that white jizz, but it was like so like neatly put on to the strudel Fun fact also, I don't know if I've even had a toaster strudel on my life

I had it when I was a kid and I didn't I remember not liking it was like a flaky pastry It's like a yeah, it's like a croissant and on the inside It's just jelly and that sounds like it'd be good But I remember the one that I had I was like this is too sweet and I was a kid But back in the day you can't beat the kid ultimate kid breakfast pop tarts. Oh I mean, yeah, that's dessert. That's basically a fun fact Not a fun fact actually at all statement When I worked at elite there was a deli across the street and like every fucking morning

I would get like a bacon egg and cheese of giant water and a pop tart. Oh, I Did this for about four days in a row on the fifth day I literally felt like my body was in what's collapsing from the inside I was just like, you know, what is going and then I stopped eating the pop tarts. My body's like, no, we're good now Pop culture if you eat pop tarts on a regular basis Your body's screaming you might as well just eat a pack of cigarettes. I think yeah at that point They're so good the cinnamon ones. Oh, he popped our cinnamon pop tarts. Yeah What is wrong with you a brown cinnamon one if you go anything but strawberry

What what about s'mores? You don't like the s'mores pop tarts What was that you don't like s'mores pop tarts no because they're not strawberry ones What the hell's wrong with you? So me s'mores everything is good. You know that right, you know real s'mores. No anything. No You don't like s'mores pop tarts, but I'm not saying that the strawberry are bad. They're I'll say it again for you. No Then fuck you Fuck you. No, if it's not strong the supreme is strawberry if you can't have anything else

Maybe you could argue wild berry. Maybe you can wild berry now. Maybe you are you blueberry? Blueberry I said maybe you son of a bitch. Don't ever fucking take it. Let me guess Joey You're fucking eating your s'mores. Oh, here comes Joey with his cinnamon pop tart unfrosted eating it like a fucking pilgrim It's frosted. Okay, good. Let's at least make sure there's a giant thing of frosting on it Can we at least shake on this the superior pop tart was and always will be the spider-man one from 2002 Holy shit. Yeah, I forgot those even exist. Yeah, you want to you remember those bad boys Also, I want to go on a limb here and I don't know how you feel about this But I'm just gonna say it people who actually put pop tarts in the fucking toaster fuck you

I had done that and and they're they are good. I can't even I can't even lie and say they're not dude That's like I don't know that's like wearing a condom to jerk off for me. It's too much I mean if it's the what it's meant for it's too much too much spider-man pop tarts, baby You're ready for it. You're ready to be brought back. Let me see you ready to be brought back Oh, they got it for sale on eBay. Your boy's about to crush this. Okay, and probably get I'm not gonna eat it. I'm just gonna get it and just look at it and you're gonna buy a box of food Tell me I won't yeah, I know you will. Yeah Absolutely. Yeah, just pay me more so I can cover it. Okay

I Go for it by the way. I don't know it'll go forever. Oh that yeah 795 dollars. I'm kidding. Oh my god Dude, I was about to say we need to get into pop tarts. It's it's at seven dollars 95 cents Why even the list it? Dude, there's some wild shit that you can find Pokemon pop dude. I forgot about these that's the end of that I don't remember that at all. Oh Well See you guys. I'm getting back into the pop tart game, baby

Logan Paul likes Pokemon cards. Yeah, well, he'll help pop top. He'll ruin this. He'll fucking ruin this. That's for damn sure. Oh My god cat in the hat cereal cat what hold on Cat in the hat cereal I've never seen that before me neither, but I'm gonna get it why you're just gonna have all these food items Just shut the fuck up. Got you All right, I want did you ever see the video of the guy who like bought a like a coca-cola from like The 80s and trinket and vomited everywhere like a lot dude. It was like it's like epicac. Yeah Yeah, it was bad that was pretty bad. I remember that also I

Did this recently and it was like the biggest time machine anyone who's like around our age if you type in e-bombs world into YouTube Bro, the videos you're like, oh my god, you got this existed. Let's type it in. Let's see what happens No, we're not gonna watch. I'm not gonna watch them now I just want to see which which ones you're I did it because I looked up the ABC's video from Oh my god, you remember how hard that used to make us last. It was like a b c d e f g h i g a k L m n o p q r s t u v 55 y and z now I know my ABC's next time won't you suck my dick what the fuck Guy drink man drinks epicac. That's the video that I like

revitalize my knowledge Yeah, he was throwing up a bunch. Yeah, so all those videos like you just never like You never forget. I just want bang bang bang. I don't want to know your name. I just want bang bang bang Wow, dude. Oh my god. I forgot about all this shit. It's a time machine. Yeah, we gotta watch these right now Not on the show. We'll end this. Oh, we got it. We got to go anyway. We gotta get the fuck out of here This is your bit now the sad I wasn't done asking for Christmas. Oh, what do you have? I want to you Santa I want to figure out cucking Santa. I want to be important enough for my murder to be an assassination Santa I want to not get dick-sucking lips every time I eat salt and vinegar chips Santa

I also want people to be okay with ugly babies Like this admit the babies are fucking hideous sometimes. I Can't tell you really qualifies as an assassination Level of importance really you right now would be assassinated. No me. I would be killed Yeah, you'd be killed. I'd be killed. You'd be assassinated. You'd be killed. I'd be murdered No, I'd be murdered. You'd be assassinated. No, you'd be just killed. No, you'd be assassinated. No, I would not be assassinated Yes, you would no. Yeah Yes, you would what's it called when someone like is on their knees and you shoot them in the back of the head

What's that called? It's like a assassination style or like what's that? No, it's like a hit. No, it's like a style It's like hit style. No, it's not hit style. Gangnam style. No, that might be it. That might be it Whatever happened to that guy. Oh, we saw is collecting those checks though. Yeah It's got like 10 billion forever and ever So ever fucking ass that guy must have got from Gangnam style dude Yo back then I would have thrown some ass that song is heat. Yeah, let's make sure we all know Gangam and you're like yo, dude, I'm throwing ass We were all like just like fucking 2011 just like super cool with just singing in Korean. Yeah

I'm not gonna. You want to talk about like culture appropriation. I didn't know what I was saying. Oh, yeah Oh, he could have been like, you know kill the gays and we would have been like Yeah, it could have been like the communist manifesto. Yeah, I wouldn't have known Yeah, but that was my Christmas list for this year Joey and I hope you could make one of those come true I'll try maybe the tapeworm. Oh, that wasn't one of mine. Well, it wasn't on either of ours But I think it's something that we both want Yeah, I guess Yeah, I think you could do that. That'd be all right. Well, you guys know where to find me. This is my show now

Fuck you F-albors eight jury five on Twitter and on Twitch if you want to come hang with me play video games Joey plays with me Sometimes we've been playing a lot of call of booty Yeah, so I stream on agent Tuesdays and then the Frank Alvarez on Instagram It's a good one You guys can follow me at Joe Sanagato on all platforms and also go follow the show on Instagram and tiktok at the basement yard and Yeah, go check out our patreon patreon.com slash the basement yard all the money that we make from patreon in the month of December We will be donating to some sort of good cause whether it be, you know, water wells in Africa or you know buying

Jackets for homeless people or something. I'm just spitball spitballing at the moment go ahead and spitball it So we'll figure out what to do with the money, but just know that we're gonna be donating it I'll definitely keep everyone up to speed on, you know, what exactly, you know, I decided to do with that money But yeah, that is all see you guys next time. Bye. Bye