The Basement Yard - #278 - The Urban Dictionary Hall Of Fame

Episode Date: January 25, 2021

Frank & Joe take a deep dive into the urban dictionary to find out about new sex positions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. Oh yeah, welcome back. I'm glad to be back here with my boy Joe where I'm about to attack you on this podcast. It won't be... Ha ha ha ha! You got nothing. You got nothing.

What rhymes the podcast? Yo, honestly, right before... Ah! Do it! Ah! Ah! Yo, legitimately, I almost... I almost threw up just now.

I almost threw up just now. That was stupid. That was really stupid. I thought, I don't know what you did. You broke it. I heard it. I think I'm bleeding. I'm crying.

Oh man. Oh, that was the smelling salts, everyone. God. Oh my God. Well, you know. I'm still raw. Yeah. God damn it, that was crazy.

Oh shit. What a way to wake up for the show, baby. Yeah, yeah, can we get that? Where'd that go? I don't know, I threw it. It's right there. I have an animal. It's right there, so I can't...

Oh my God. All right, now this. Down to hatch. Bon appetit. Ginger. Ginger. Down to hedge. Yo, you're full of tears.

I'm fucking crying and now I'm amped. Okay. Ready, go. Fire. A lot of cayenne pepper in me right now. Fire and ice. I had a, I had a, you're crying. Fire and ice.

I had a, I'm just gonna put this in the plant. This is the fake plant. Yeah. This is the fucking grossest I've felt in an hour. I think my brain's bleeding. Also, I think, cause we, hello, by the way. We did that on a Patreon episode, right? We did, we did smelling salts.

Frank, you're gonna have to do it. I'm gonna do it. You're gonna have to do it. You're gonna have to do it. We did, we did smelling salts. Frankie did his first salt on the, on the, on the thing. Yeah. I can't even speak right now.

That was hard. So we did a smelling salts on the, on the Patreon, and then we just did it right now because I surprised him with it. Yeah. He did surprise me. And if you didn't see that, you can go to patreon.com slash the basement yard

to get every single weekly episode, a week in advance, and you get exclusive episodes, just like the one we just mentioned, every single Friday morning. It's worth it. It's a lot of fun. We're doing that pocket chip challenge soon. Also, yo, listen, I just want everyone to know

on the actual show, the weekly show, the gangsters who are watching this. Oh yeah. No, no, no, shut up. Okay. No, but we are currently ranked on Patreon as the 28th podcast. And we're trying to break into that top 10.

Let's do it. You know what I'm saying? Right now also, like on all of Patreon, for anything that has a Patreon, we are, I think, 80th? So we're in the top 100. Yeah, last we checked, we were a hundred, like on what? I said you like 110th or something like that? So we're at 80th right now.

We're cruising. You know what I'm saying? We're moving. Right now we have 6,900 patrons. We're trying to move up to 10,000. That's the goal by Christmas, right? 10,000? Yeah, 10,000.

I think we can get there. So yo, if you guys are out there, you want to join the Patreon, like join up right now on patreon.com slash the basement yard. And remember, we're doing stupid things on there for your entertainment, i.e. Package Chip Challenge. Joey's getting an edema one episode.

So we're gonna, I'm gonna get an edema. I'm gonna edema myself. And then when we hit 10,000 patrons, I'm gonna let Frankie piss on my foot. That is still one that I'm trying to figure out why we're doing. That's good because there's a lot of people who watch me that are interested in my feet.

They just want to see your feet. For some reason, but imagine, if someone who's into feet, I think also has a slight undertone of like, submissiveness. For that sub, you know, sub population of our patrons that are big PP and feet fans. This is a- This is jerk off central for them, baby.

Yeah, this is cum city. Cum city. The jerk off train is pulling right in. Oh yeah. Welcome. Yep. Yep. Absolutely. Orgasm central station.

Here we go. Yeah. Yeah. That was a hot way to start an episode. Like physically I feel hot. Yeah. Speaking of that, yesterday I had a, one of those cayenne flavored cum butchers.

Ooh, the butch. Yeah, the butch. Not like, once you get past like the vinegar taste of it, whatever, it's good for you. That's why- I don't think it tastes like vinegar. It's got a vinegary taste to it. But like, once you get past that,

it's like good for you and you're supposed to have it, but that cayenne, baby. It slides in and it doesn't take anything for fucking prisoners. I have a ring of fire for an asshole, right? Or literally right now. You know what you need to do? I'm shocked, you know, we've had walking Joe, which,

oh boy, we've had walking Joe, marathon Joe, boxing Joe. I'm shocked we haven't got juicing Joe yet because all you need to do is buy a juicer and then you just buy a bunch of fresh produce and you, I know you, you will be like, those juices that you like to take, make them yourself. The only thing is, boots, you can't make yourself because it's like fermented.

Yeah. But like, you throw in just like, what I do at mine is I throw in like a piece of turmeric, raw turmeric, ginger, a carrot and an apple and I fucking feel awesome. It just cleans your poop, your poop shoot out. No, I know, and I've been pooping like phenomenal. I also was, I have this other stuff that's pretty good

and has a bunch of nutrients in it. So like, my mornings are pretty much set now with like, I have like a ginger or something, like a little shot like that, a healthy shot. And then I have this like protein powder that isn't like regular protein. It's like, I saw that, yeah, it's like from the Aztec. Yeah.

Yeah, they used it, they used it like the fucking like, the mommies. The Inkins used it and shit like that. Inkin. Isn't that? Mayan. Like Abraham Lincoln. No, like the Inkins.

I think that's a group of subset of like indigenous people to Mexico, I think. Iroquois. Different place. Very different. Not too different, but different. Well, different. Different nonetheless, yeah.

I would always want to like, I've always thought about like how I would survive back in the day. You think Egyptians made the pyramids or aliens? I don't know, man. Or was it the Jews? I mean, I think- Is that a possibility?

I think, I don't know. I really don't know. Anything in history, I am like a dumb, stupid little fucking idiot with history. Me too. I know nothing, so. I know stuff, but I don't know when they happen. I don't, like that war of 1812.

That's in 1812. But who was it with? People. That's what I'm saying. We don't know. We don't know this. I'm gonna say the British. I think we always fought with the British.

We always fought with the British. There was a Spanish war at some time. The Spanish Revolution. There were conquistadors and stuff like that. That's a good one. I don't know where those were. This is a very tight sweater. Sometimes.

And I know nothing about history ever. And it's funny because Becca's dad is like a huge history buff. Is he? So he'll be like, you know, something similar like this happened with Ulysses S. Grant. And I'm like, Bob, you lost.

Yeah, yeah. Ulysses dude, you belong on a boat with that name. That's a really cool name though. If you're like a captain of a boat. Would you be a good pirate? A good pirate? Yeah. I think I would because I don't get seasick

and I'm a good, I like, I'm good with strategy. And you're like, I see, I would think I would be good because I eat a lot of fruit. So I avoid scurvy. You know? What? Well, isn't that like the red fever? What's it called?

I don't know. Scarlet fever. No, scurvy is like when your body doesn't have enough fruit. I'm pretty sure. I thought scurvy was like. Just a phrase. What's the things that dogs get? Like mange?

Mangee. Yeah. Mangee. Yeah, mangy mutt. Yeah, like it's like your hair. I think mangy, yeah, it could be like anyone. I don't think it's just. Pirates are gross.

Pirates were fucking awesome though. They used to rape though. Oh, well then that was bad. Well, yeah, I mean. Anyone that does that is bad. Well, they stole for a living. Do you think pirates got gay? They had to.

They had to be gay. Because they were sex beings. They were deviant. You don't wear that many earrings and not be gay. Well, and also they wore eyeliner. Well, I mean, I'm just going off of Jack Sparrow here. Yeah, Jack Sparrow. He gives off, you know, a bicarious vibe.

And that's OK. But of course it's OK. I'm fucking, like he was like living a dream. You know, hoe, roll your boat gently down his throat. Oh, god. Here we go. Yo ho ho and a bottle of cum. You know, like they're fucking like super.

I love. Rum is way too close to cum. And you know that pirates love rum. But did they call it come back then or did they call it like, ah, the sea, the sea cream. Proud. Maybe that's why it's called semen. Pirates are gay.

Fucking so gay. Yo, I knew it. We figured it out. I was like, I forgot those there. I just, I forgot those there. That's fucking awesome, by the way. No, but the only reason why I'm saying that is because I know they used to rape and pillage, right?

Yeah, that's fucked up. But like, non-pirates used to do that too. Like fucking like normal non-pirates. Yeah, for sure. But like the pirates on the sea, like just like, like, just like, but they had awesome songs. Yeah, I mean, you had to have chants. Yeah, they're like, like.

They're like a cult. Yeah, they're like Manchester United's fans. Like they have chants for everything. Yeah, yeah, these people, these British fans are like, oh, yeah, we got, yeah. You know, like, someone yelled at me when I said British because like Great Britain is like Scotland and Ireland too. I get it's the English.

I don't care though. It's Britain. It's Britain. But yeah, they have like songs forever. You sent me that TikTok, where those guys just like fucking going nuts to just sea shanties. Yeah, I didn't know the word shanty. Yeah, it's like, you played Assassin's Creed Black Flag.

Yeah, Maggard. There are a lot of sea shanties in that game. Is there? Yeah, they're just on a boat on the water, on the open sea, and they're just like, oh, yeah, you're all in total white. They're not British, but what were they? They were a little bit of everything. Oh, I mean, they were just, you know, they were.

I always wonder like how fucking in cells? Those are kind of like in cells. I guess so. I don't know how to upset the in cells. They're scary guys. Yeah, and they are all men, white men for the most part. Why? I don't know if that's accurate, but if it is.

We'll just talk like it is. All right. You know, I always felt like watching these pirate movies where they're like, oh my God, like the pirates are gaining on us. Like, yo, you're on the water. Just put up the same flag. Just go.

No, but like, you know what I'm saying? Like, how is one ship faster than the other? I can maybe wait. I guess. Maybe, yeah, like, but they had no science back then. They would like lock people up. They'd sneeze twice and fucking under a full moon and they'd be killed and stoned for being, you know,

like aliens or some shit like that. It's kind of crazy, man. I would be a pirate would be fucking sick. I would be an awesome pirate. You wouldn't be the captain though. No, I'd be the bitch. I mean, either. No, I wouldn't be the, I mean, I wouldn't be below deck.

Like, you know, you'd be below deck. Oh, you'd be a lot of little below deck. Well, after two years probably, but not in the first two years. In the first two years, I'd be like, no, I'm mad, not. But after two years, I'm like, whatever. Where's the deal with the monkey? Yeah.

There's always one guy on a ship with a monkey. And there's one guy that always, you know, obviously missing an eye. Missing an eye, wearing a bandana. Wearing a bandana. Right. And a shirt that's striped. Oh, well, you need the striped shirt.

Yes. And the bandana is around his arm. Well, duh. Where else would it be? Where else would it be? I would be a good pirate. Not, you know, I wouldn't, I'm an above deck pirate.

I think I'd be up there. I would think like, I wouldn't be like captain of my own ship, like iconic pirate, like red beard or black beard. Yeah, no, what? Red beard. I think that's a pirate. Was it the Irish?

I think he was a pirate. I don't know. But I would be like, I'd be a well-respected pirate. You know? On the sea. Yeah, I think I'd be like a good mate. I love how like they would be like, yo, like these infamint.

How the fuck did they know each other back then? Like how? Yeah. And if you've ever seen like old movies, they're like so honest. And they're like, oh, are you red beard? And it's like, yeah, I am. And it's like, well, now you're dead.

Yeah, not just say no. Just say straight up like, no, the fuck is red beard? Yeah. You got a red beard. And it's like, yeah, that's a coincidence. Yeah, we all have red beard. A lot of people have red beard. Yeah.

That's so funny. I love how they do that. No one knew each other back then when everyone looked like, oh, he floys a flag that's black with Jolly Roger on it. It's like they all do. Yeah, every single one of them does. They pull in and it's like, yo, are you guys the guys?

And they're like, no. Or it's like how they have like these like wanted posters or like these like poorly hand drawn like people. And it's like, that's me. And it's like, just say it's not. You fucking idiot. Or just shave your beard. And it says on it like carries a wooden fucking spoon

in his back pocket, toss that to the side. Put it down. You're not getting caught. Right. I love all those moves. Like, I guess like everyone in every movie is just like super honest. Well, I think they just have a lot of pride

with being like, yeah, I am the outlaw. Yeah, but like, you're stupid then, you know what I mean? Where it's like, oh, we're looking for outlaw Jesse. And it's like, you went that way. You know what I thought about? You know in the Wild West where it's like, you would have a duel and be like, oh, I hate this person. So we're going to have a duel.

It's like, dude, you're leaving this up to a 50-50 chance. Just kill him. Like when? Yeah, exactly. Like, when did one person just disrupt the entire dueling industry and be like, I'm just going to shoot him. Like, I'm not going to do this like, let's take 10 steps.

I'm just going to shoot him. Yeah. And then people are like, that was a good idea. That was a great idea. That's what we do. That was a great idea. We efficiently kill now. Like, this is the thing.

It's like, I've played Red Dead Redemption enough to know, like, you kill someone, just anyone around, kill them too. Not only that, but like just a light jog into the forest. And you're gone forever. And you can go back to doing whatever you want to do. I love that. Yo, I was talking with Becca about this because she knows someone that was arrested

because they got caught picking cherries. And it's like, yo, how the fuck do you get caught? Like, just run farther into the cherry orchard and you're gone forever. Yeah. It's like, what are they going to do? They're going to send the whole cavalry to find one kid picking cherries.

Also, like, what a weird thing to arrest someone for. Well, it's like private property, I guess that. Yeah, but. I get that. You ever done like those cherry picking, apple picking? I remember there was a house on the avenue that I used to live on that had peaches, a peach tree that would overhang into the street.

Not into the street, but like on the sidewalk. So we would take the peaches and then I just launch them across the street. Oh, bad, bad joke. Oh, yeah. I remember there were trees on multiple blocks by us that had edible berries, like blackberries. I never trusted that.

I was afraid that I was going to get diseased. I always ate them and I turned out OK. I turned out a little fat, but I turned out OK. Maybe a lot of calories in those. No, but back to these pirates. I think, honestly, between me and you, I would be the captain. Oh, I can't handle that. The pressure?

The work responsibility? I just like the, you know, I just can't. I just can't do it. You're more organized than I am. Thank you. I don't think that's true, though. You get into these organization modes where it's like. Yeah, but they last like four days.

And then like a week later, it's fucked. He's right. Most of ship? God. Oh, my God. Your ship would have your brand new, like Nick's jersey just bundled up into a ball on the floor. Oh, I just never wore that.

It's just there. Do you remember at your old place in Long Island City, you had like a knee room? Knee? It was like a knee door. What's a knee door? It's like a door that only comes up to your knees. And it was like a crawl space.

And in there was just clothes. What the fuck? Oh, in Long Island City. Yeah, that's what I said. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah, I mean, yeah. You never cleaned that up, did you? I just threw all of it out.

Oh, you. Well, I donated it. I didn't throw it out. I don't throw clothes out. I donate all of it. Oh, that's very honorable, you. Well, like, where are you supposed to put it? I can't wait to see these fucking people

on the street wearing, you know, Ferragamo boots. I'm donating for this fucking kid. I don't have Ferragamo boots. Yeah, no. You're not, you're not, you're not messy. But like, there are certain things that you just. That I just don't care about. You don't care about.

It's true. I'm looking at one right now. That bathroom? That whole bathroom. So there's a bathroom in here that I've used as like, because when I first moved in, I just put everything in this room and in that bathroom. And then I was like, making the rest of the house.

And then that stuff just kind of stayed. Just stayed. But I don't need two bathrooms, obviously. I mean, it's a very nice shower. Well, it's the same shower in there. No, it's not. It's different. And then, oh, I think it is.

Same one? I don't know. It is. I don't think so. I remember when you first sent me, like, the pictures and video of this place, the previous owners had a bike in their shower. And then we were like, what fucking idiots?

Multiple times said that. My bike's in there. In the fucking shower. But what are you going to do? What are you going to do? Sometimes you've got to go buy a shower. I'm very interested to see, like, where you go next. Like, that's always something.

With my weirdness? No. Like, when you buy a house. Like, will you buy a house like in Astoria? Will you buy a house like on the island, upstate? Definitely not upstate. Definitely not upstate. I didn't know.

I didn't know. I don't know. I honestly, like, when I think about that, I'm like, I don't have an idea. You have no clue. You don't think that far out? At least, not that I don't think that far out. It's just that I haven't made my decision yet on where.

Because I feel like a lot goes into that. Because right now, it's just me. So I'm just like, all right, I just move into an apartment and you're like, whatever. But when you think about your family, you have other things to account, like, schools and crime, heroin, these things. Big heroin place, yeah.

You know what I'm saying? These are things you think about. You can't just like, oh, yeah, we're going to move to fucking wherever because it's a nice place. Do you think you'll ever leave New York? Like, Jersey? I think it's possible. No, I don't think I would move to Jersey.

Actually, no, maybe. I don't know. Holy shit. Maybe, I don't know. Josh, clip that. I'm going to need it in four years. I don't have anywhere that's like, this is completely out of the question.

Would you like, leave the Northeast? Would you go to like, fucking, like, you'd move to Nebraska? No, no, no, I would never do that. No, that I won't do. That would be wild. I wouldn't go too far. I would be upset because you would leave me. Right.

Well, like, I wouldn't go too far. If I were to go, it would be like, North Jersey, or it would be like, maybe a further. Like, you wouldn't go to Long Island? No. Do Long Island? Socks. Yeah, I don't really like Long Island.

It smells like a fucking, like a, like a leaky wrench. Did you fart? Things happen. People do things, things happen. It smells so fucking gross in here. You know, stuff happens with people. It smells really bad. What are you going to do?

Full transparency. We had recorded an episode before this. I was wearing this shirt. So I said, Joey, just give me something to throw on. And he put me in this, and I look worse. I'm screaming in this sweatshirt right now. I don't think it's that crazy. Well, when you do that, you button it up.

When you button it up, it looks, when you button it up. It's very tight. It's snug. It's snug, for sure. It's all right, I'm going to lose weight. No way. You know what I'm going to lose weight? Soon as I have a kid.

I actually, I think a lot of people, like that happens to them, because their life is so crazy. They don't even have time to eat. By the time this comes out, my daughter might be here. Yeah, that's true. I would say most likely. Most likely, while you're watching this, Franky has a fucking person just dumping in my hands.

I'm going to be upset about it. Dumping in your hands. There are certain things like, obviously, I'm not going to like, it's my daughter, I'll be fine. But poop in my hand, I'll be pissed about. You're going to have to, you know, get over that one. No, I don't think so. You can avoid poop in your hand.

No. Yeah. Poop in your hand? Yeah. No. Like, I'm not going to be like, holding this baby, like, in her bare ass in my fucking hand. Sure you will.

You think so? Yeah. I don't think so. Like, your baby's going to be like, crying in the middle of a chain. You're like, I'm just going to pick the baby up, and you're going to be holding the baby, and the baby's going to shit in your hands.

No, I don't think that's going to happen. Well, you'll see. I don't think so. Dude, I've only seen, like, my nephews get changed, like, a handful of times, and I've seen more than one poops. Well, that's the thing. It's like, accidental shifts.

They can't control it, I get it. I don't think, like, I'm going to, like, create an environment for my baby to just shit on me all the time. Yeah, but that's, they're tricky. That's why they get you. I'll be pissing her. I'll put her in time out.

Yeah, you can be pissed at her. She's going to piss on you. Oh, the piss I don't care about piss. Poop. Poop will upset me. That will be fucking, like, I'll be a little upset with the poop. Do you have a weak stomach?

Like, would you throw up on a poop? No, I don't think so. I have a very strong stomach. I haven't thrown up since December 26, 2008, Joey. Goddamn, that was 2008. Isn't that crazy? 12, almost 12, over 12 years ago. That's wild.

That was a wild one. Well, I mean, it's 12. What? We'd have to wait a full year. We were talking about December, the last days of 2021 would be 12 years. No, that would be 13 years. Yeah, it's over 12 years.

You all right, Joey? Yeah. Math wasn't my shit. Never was. No. Brother Rob, man. Brother Rob. Who's that?

He was a guy. Oh, yeah, you guys had all, like, religious teachers. Well, no, I had regular teachers. I had this one teacher, Miss Lack. That sucks. She never got any respect. Who was that fat piece of shit, Mr. The math teacher? Remember my ex-girlfriend would, like,

try to, like, say that he, like, would, like, make passes at her in order so she didn't fail? What the fuck are you talking about? You don't remember that? I think you had math with... No, my math teacher was, like, a cool guy. All years? No, I had mostly women math teachers, actually.

Oh. I remember, because I remember the girl that I was dating. I don't think I ever had class with her. Maybe I did. I think you did. But not math, never. Well, well, either way, I remember that. Like, it was like, she was like, I suck at math,

so I'm just going to say that he's a piece of shit, so I don't fail. And I was like, oh, that's great. That's the way to do it. That's the way to go. Yeah, no. I had brother Rob. I literally, you know, he was a brother.

Did they, like, try to, like, they'd be like, all right, 6 plus 8, you know what that is, 14, also Jesus. Like, did they, like, sneak in little, like, Jesus references every now and then? He didn't really have to sneak in the Catholicism, because it was hanging above you. There was crucifix. There's crucifixes everywhere?

In the middle, in the front of the room. There's a crucifix above the chalkboard. Really? Yeah. God is watching everything. He even wants to see your long division. But yes, he does. Oh, I didn't know that.

He saw the 62 average in that class, too. He saw that. Did he repent for that sin? Like, forgive me, God, for I have sinned. I failed. I don't know. Is it a sin to fail a class? I'm sure it's a sin to do anything to those people.

Oh, man. I didn't know that. To the people who like me. You, like, you, yeah, that's right. You went to, it was a pretty holy church. I had a church in the, in the place. It had, like, a chapel. Really?

Yeah. We're, you know, when you're, like, I don't know what this is, but, like, on, on, when we, like, on the football team, on Fridays, if we had a Friday night game, you had to wear your jersey. And then you had to go to chapel to pray for a win or something. That's really stupid. And it was, like, a creepy chapel,

because it was, like, a door that I didn't even know existed, really? Oh, did it always have just, like, just, like, humms and hymns going all the time? Well, hymns are hummed. Oh, OK. So that's, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, it is.

That's halo, yeah. That's a great game. I didn't know. It is a great game. I didn't know, like, I'm not, like, I've never been a very religious person, but, like, people that go to, like, religious schools, I always wonder, like, what, like, at what level

do they draw the line, you know what I mean? Like, at what level is it, like, they're teaching, like, you know, like, history? I guess it leaks into everything, like, what they teach. No, it's not, it's not really, like, everything has a religious undertone. There is a religion class. So can I, can I ask a serious question, then?

Like, I'm not, you know, ridiculing people, but, like, what do they do in science? Like, because a lot of people that are heavy believers in religion don't believe in the theory of evolution. So, for me, like, my science classes, I remember I would just fail them. Well, that had nothing to do with what they were teaching. Well, I did.

No. Well, what I'm trying to say is, I couldn't even tell you. Oh, because the boy was failing those. He was failing those. Yeah, shout out to Mr. Hamilton, man. Mr. Hamilton. Oh, no, mine was Mr. Frampton. I had a couple different.

Oh, we had some tons. Oh, we had, yeah, tons. Yeah, he didn't, he didn't really like me much. I think he had it, he had me, he had a, you know, had me pinned for a different kind of guy. You were a piece of shit. No, but I wasn't. You were.

I think that he thought I was. Is it extra sinful if you, like, finger someone in the stairwell in a Christian school? I mean, of course. Catholic school, which one? It's a, it's a Catholic school. Never knew the difference. I don't really know the difference in Christian and Catholic,

but I do know that Christians, like, really don't like sin. Oh, they're very against it. Big against sin. So, like, if you got caught, like, how would they, like, punish you? Oh, I mean. Just say, like, yo, go sit in the chapel for, like, a week. I think that you would have to say some prayers,

should you get detention and then, like, probably, like, beat you up. I didn't know that. I didn't know. Cause I, I went two years of my life. I went to a Catholic school. It was my pre-K and kindergarten. Oh, oh yeah.

We went to pre-K. I was a little fucking. Yeah, but we never prayed. Did we pray? I'm sure we did. I'm sure they taught, like, a lot of, like, I remember I have, like, those books for back then, and it's, like, the Lamb of God story.

And it's, like, God came down and he was a lamb, like, weird shit. I also don't even know if the Lamb of God was, like, a lamb. I thought it was, like, a metaphor. Oh. It could be. It could be. Do you pray?

No. Yeah. You know, I pray that I make it to the bathroom after I have that fucking, that cayenne, uh, kombucha. That'll clean you out, baby. The probiotics are working double. Probiotics, you're, you're, 80% of your health is your gut, apparently.

Yeah, well, I'll tell you this right now. I gotta get you that stinky juice that I was taking. You remember that? Yes, what's it called, Xan? Xanah juice. Xanah juice, Xanah juice? Yeah. Xanah.

Dude, it's. I knew a Muslim kid named Xan. Really? Yeah, he fell hard one day. Dude, one time we were younger and this kid fell fucking hard. He bumped his head. Oh, dude, he had meat hanging from his chin. Oh.

Yeah. No. It was fucking crazy. Where did this happen? So we were playing manhunt. He lived behind me, like, in the alley. Oh, were these the kids you fought? Yeah, West Side Story.

You beat the shit out of this fucking. A Muslim kid. Here we go. Joey's beating up Muslim kids. Yeah, we did. We did. We beat him up. Not because they were Muslim, because they were acting

like motherfuckers. But no, but they were like our, they were our friends, like, growing up and like, yeah, we got into a fight one time. I don't know why, but whatever. But we were playing manhunt with them. And remember, like, Ali-Ali-Axm free? Oh, of course I remember that. You know what I'm saying?

So like, I don't even know. Oh, it's like, you have to touch base and then say. Say, Ali-Ali-Axm free, you can roam free. Right. So he went to go do that, right? And he, and it was like the hand railing of our friends, our other friends, like stoop. So he grabbed that.

And then as he went to go do that, this other kid who went to go tag him put his hand on his hand. But he thought he was going to keep running. So he went to let go, but the dude held his hand on the thing. So he like whipped around and hit his face on the floor. And his chin was like open and it was like meat hanging. And I'm like, ah, like, what is going on? That sounds awful.

I miss manhunt. This is before our fight. I miss manhunt so much. Manhunt was fun, man. I'll tell you the motherfuckers that I didn't like during manhunt, though, the ones that would run and they would swipe at you and then just stop like, I got you. You got to stop now.

Yeah. You got to stop. I got you. And then you stop and then they run up to you. It's like, I got you again. Do you remember? Do you, y'all, do you remember two things? One, we heard people fucks in.

Fuck hard. That was when my girlfriend left me for you. Go on. When you say that, you guys don't know this story. Joey, I think they do because I think you've told it before. Because I'm very upset about it still. Eighth grade, I'll never forget. Leaving you for me would indicate that I was with you.

I know it was not reciprocated on your end. I get that. But she put it in the tagline of her Myspace and it hurt. And it was on Super Bowl Sunday. I'm also not even fully convinced that you cared at all. Didn't at all. Not a single part of me cared. I was so like, OK with it.

I was probably like at the time, like looking for an out. I also, I'm not even trying to be funny. Like, I honestly don't even really remember. That happening. I remember it as like Clear's Day. I remember that shit. But I also remember when we when we heard people fucking going to town on their bonches.

Yeah, there were people were playing manhunt and our base was a dumpster. I was. That's what we did. And one of us hid in the dumpster, not me or you, but one of our friends hid in the dumpster at one point. But we were like by the base and we just heard people just going at it like animals and like, damn, dude. And like, it was like pretty professional sounding.

Yeah. Oh, like looking back. I don't know if they were like trying to fuck with us. They might have been because you remember we like all stopped. And we were like, yo, do you hear that? You hear sex. You hear sex. And then the guy was like, get a fucking life.

Yeah. And then I guess they didn't go back to it. Yeah, I guess not. I mean, that's a turn off. I guess if you know, 15 kids are listening to you. Hey, man. I mean, it was a show for us. Yeah, that was fun for me.

I didn't have a bad time. I had a good time. Yeah. But then my girlfriend left left me for you. I mean, she didn't. She left me with the intent of for you. I pushed the tagline. It was like, I love your best friend.

I was like, fuck. For those of you guys who have never heard this story, which I've told it a million times at this point. There was this girl that I was dating. It was fucking eighth grade or seventh grade or whatever. It was fucking who gives a shit. But I brought her around because that was the thing. It's like, if you dated people like on like my space,

you probably never met them. You saw them at school. Dude, you know how many fucking internet girlfriends we probably had that you just never met? Oh, countless. I'm still in like eight relationships. Me too. I think so.

Technically. And I brought her around. And I remember we played manhunt because it was like fucking abnormally warm. It was for like January. I remember it was like 50 degrees out. And we were like, holy shit. And I was hiding with her.

And then she went and like another round, she hid with you. And like she was just gone. You guys were gone. And like you guys like came back. And I remember seeing you walking and her just like talking to you and you just not looking at her, paying her mind and just walking. I don't even remember this.

Yeah. No, what I do remember actually, piece of shit, that we were playing manhunt. And then you guys hit together. And then you just wouldn't, I was literally, I was like, I have to be home. And like I was waiting for you to walk home. And it was like an hour.

And I was like, what do you want me to say? But we weren't playing anymore. I was a great hider. No, you were being boyfriend, girlfriend for like an hour. That's not true. My dad's going to hurt me. That's not true. Your dad probably was.

Yeah, I get that. Yeah, so. No, but then I remember she like called me and she's like, hey, like I'm breaking up with you. And I was like, can I, all right, can I at least get a reason? She was like, check my MySpace. And I went on her MySpace. And right, remember how the MySpace had like the picture

and then right up next to the picture, it had like a tagline or tag or whatever. And it said, I'm in love with your best friend. I was like, all right. I don't even remember. But I was like, all right. You know, like I was like, OK. Like that's why it doesn't stand out.

That's why it's funny. Because I remember. Because I just feel like you were just like, I just. That was just like whatever. Because you know, like back in the day, I feel like it didn't really like matter because you didn't really see people. It's like, I didn't even see this person anyway.

Well, I remember they lived in what is now very close. But at the time, it was like fucking a lifetime away. She lived in like Middle Village in Masbeth. Yeah. And I remember like, it was like you had to take like buses and trains to get out there. That's not happening. That's not happening, you know?

So. I remember in sixth grade, a girl broke out with me, called me on the phone, she told me that we should see other people. Yeah, I remember that. Like we're fucking adults. I remember you had like a long term girlfriend in sixth grade. Nine months.

Yeah, that was long term. Never kissed. Really? Yeah, we just hugged. Damn. Hugged a lot. That got steamy, huh? Oh, well, I would hug the fuck out of her.

Yeah, you had hard hugs. Well. You ever hold hands? Yeah. Dude, one time, you ever do the thing where it's like you want to hold hands with someone, so you're just like. Pinky.

The pinky move, baby. That's it, it's the pinky move. It's like once I touch, your hand's like, OK. Dude, and I kid you not, you probably got so fucking horny. What? Dude, so horny. Holding hands back in the day, it was like. The horniest.

Basically fisting. You fucked. It was like the roof of fuck. You like, for kids, you fucked. Yeah, like holding hands was dope. Remember the first time you like touched it? Dude, touching her bra? Oh, touching her bra was sick.

I don't really remember that as much. Dude, what? I'm talking about like. Your hand goes up a shirt. And then like your middle finger, because it's the tallest hand, tallest finger, touches like that bottom wire of a bra. Dude, I didn't even need to go further than that.

That fuck, touching that wire was fucking wicked. Good for you. It was dope. Good for you. Touching a boob. Touching a boob. Good old days. Good old days, man.

The good old days. Well, you know, they always say like you grow up and you become like less easy to please. You know, now people need like full on like sex. Back in the day. Swings. You know, what? Well, I'm just not saying.

I'm saying some people. What was that? Like a swing. Like in a park? No, like a sex swing. Oh, what? Oh, oh, I know those. Some people like to be suspended in the air

when they get nailed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Very weird. Well, you know. I mean, just like, what are you getting from that? I do enjoy the feeling of being suspended. I'm not going to have been suspended. I was going to say, like, I haven't been suspended.

But I think that being in the air is like kind of cool. So I guess. Have there ever been people that have like tried to have sex skydiving? There's got to be. Yeah, no, I've seen a video of people like some do get sucked in the air. You always see videos on this stuff.

Well, I think that I'm just a person that people just reach out to like, you got to see this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this was before. Wait, so this someone showed it to you or you saw it on your own accord? No. What am I going to search?

Skydive, bloge? I don't know. You're searching fucking. I'll tell you what, I'm going to look that up after. I'm just going to say, I bet you are. You're looking up all this type of shit. I would love to see all kinds of stuff like that. But yeah, I think someone's got sucked in the air before.

I don't think they've came. You don't have enough time. No, that'd be a tough. How long is a skydive? It's got to be like six minutes. Six minutes? You can get a sex in there, right? Jesus.

Well, because it's not like the falling isn't the fast. You've come from the moon? Six minutes. That's a long time. I think the falling isn't the part that lasts the longest, it's the parachuting. Oh, yeah, I'm talking about just like freefall. You're probably freefall for like 12 seconds.

Well, no, that's a little more time than that. 18 seconds. I've never been. Someone said like, yo, when you hit a certain amount of patrons, you go undo skydive. I would love to. Really? Because there's literally a better chance of me kissing

my dad. That's actually not that bad of a chance. I met with tongue. Oh, OK. Is he calling you? He is. Call, answer. No.

Please, please, please, please. Damn. Joey's just fucking. He doesn't want to give you guys the entertainment you fucking deserve. Well, the only reason why is because I haven't talked to him in like a few days, like a, like a, I think two weeks.

Dude, exploit the fact that your dad is calling you now. No. I haven't talked to him in two weeks, so it's like I need to have a conversation with him before I have a conversation with him, like, or we're joking. You don't know, you don't know what's going to happen. Yeah, I think he's testing my temperature right now. So I don't know what's going on.

I get that. Let's get to the friends of the show. Friends of the show? All right, friends of the show. We only have two friends this week. Put in my password. Pack the main frame. Here we go.

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But yeah, again, liquidiv.com, promo code is BASEMENT. Ooh, friends of the show, love to see them. Love to see them. Ahem, ahem. Also, hold on, I'm sorry, speaking of, I have my phone. But I want to, so I saw this thing online and I was like, you know what? I gotta put a little quiz together for Frankie.

Because. You love to get me going. Yeah. You love for me to prove how much smarter I am than you. Well, this is not really a thing of smart. So you're not gonna get any of these right. What is it? It's like urban dictionary.

Because I'll tell you how it started. I'm pretty urban, Joe. I don't know if you know this. So the other day, I was doing this thing on my Instagram where it was like, not safe for work. And then they were trying to make you say something. And the word was fudgy crinkles. And I was like, the fuck is that?

What is that? So I looked it up. Because fudgy crinkles to me just sounds like an off brand like Rice Krispies. That sounds delicious. Yeah. It's actually just like when you have anal sex and then there's some poop in your foreskin.

Fudgy crinkles. So I was like, oh, I never heard of that. So I went on Urban Dictionary and I found some terms. So I want you to try and guess what they are. Okay. All right. I think I can do this. Some of them are like things like that.

I have my ear to the ground, Joe. I'm pretty hip. Pretty in with the young crowd. So I think I'll be okay. Yeah. I think so too. The first one is Charizard-ing. Oh, well that's.

Do you say Charizard or Charizard? Charizard. You say Charizard? Yeah, what do you say? Charizard. Charizard. Charizard. Oh, no, it's Charizard.

It's three. By the way, there's a new Pokemon snap game coming out. You can play it on that Nintendo Switch that you have no idea where it is. Yeah. Charizard-ing. Charizard-ing. That's obvious, Joey.

Charizard, Fire Breathing Dragon. So it's gotta be when, you know, you do something hot in someone else's mouth and they cough and it just fires spews everywhere, right? What does that mean? Like you've, like you've fart. Do something hot? You fart in her mouth?

Fart in her mouth. Or his mouth. You fart in their mouth and it's so like hot. Like, you know, like, you know, like hot gas, you know what I'm saying? When you fart and you're like, that physically has temperature to it. Yeah.

You know? And they do it in someone's mouth and they blow it out and it's just hot. That's such a good answer. No. It's much worse. How does it get worse than that? That's fucking appalling.

So this is real. I didn't make this up. Oh, there's also like a sentence here. Charizard-ing with Jenny was a night I'll never forget. Okay. But that's a pretty standard sentence. Right. That's like saying like, you know,

the word is like hypotenuse and it's like, the word that we are discussing is hypotenuse. Thanks for that. Thanks for adding that. You're welcome. We appreciate it. But yeah. So Charizard-ing is when you light a girl's pubes on fire

and put it out with your jizz and then flap your arms and say, you don't have enough badges to train me. What? Hold on. You got to light her pubes on fire. Fuck it. So that's- That's the fire.

So that doesn't make it a Charizard-ing yet. That's just, what's just the pubes on fire thing? Arson. Arson. Arson. So it becomes a Charizard when you- First it's a crime. You proclaim.

When you light someone's pubes on fire, you go to jail. But if you put it out with your jizz- I mean, unless they want you to do it. Well, yeah. And then, well, how you get- I have so many questions here. So like, I'm assuming you have to work yourself up to the point where you're like,

I'm right on the brink of a check. So you need to be ready to come. Right now. And you need to have it all ready to go. You have to have a lighter in your hand while you're having sex. And then you're like, I'm ready to go. Ready to go.

Light it up. Then you light it up and then your jizz on it puts the fire out. Everyone's safe. And then you flap your arms and say, you don't have a badge. First of all, this is 2021. People aren't rocking full on bushes like they did in 78.

They are if they're going to Charizard. I guess so. Also lighting it on fire, that'll get rid of the hair. That will. That will. But you're putting it out. So this thing is going to come out looking like a fucking hedge maze.

Like it's just going to look like shit. Yeah. And then you probably have to shave it. Honestly, you can only Charizard once a month. It sounds like- That sounds kind of cool, to be honest with you. The badge part. The badge part would be-

Oh my God, that'd be the worst smell in the world. You ever lit hair on fire? Yeah. You ever smelled cum? That's true too. It's an awful smell. Hot cum? That sounds awful.

Those are two of the worst smelling things I can imagine. Damn dude, hot cum's good. Ugh. But the yelling of the badges thing, that's kind of fucking hysterical. You don't have enough badges to train me. That's kind of awesome. That's dope.

That's super dope. That's nice. I mean, also kind of embarrassing to that person because they don't have enough badges to train a Charizard, which I believe only evolved at a level 36. Yeah. That's four badges. You're a noob.

You just need to get past the plant girl. Like you should be okay. What's her name, Agatha? Nope. That was, she was in the Elite Four, Joe. That's true. She was good. That was the first, that's a psychic bitch.

Yeah. She had like a haunter. I think so. Yeah. Mr. Mime, I think she had too. And a Jinx. Oh yeah, Jinx got fat tits. Big things.

Is that a guy? Jinx, I think can be male or female, but- Oh, damn. They had to like redo their design because it had blackface. It did. Remember, it was blackface originally and then they changed it to be purpleface.

Wow, that's crazy. But, oh man, that's kind of cool. Those tits though. Okay. Shexting? Shexting, shexting. So the word texting is in there. So there's gotta be shitty texting.

So it's gotta be like if you send texts of your poops, of like you send pictures of your poops. So shexting, shexting. Sexting is sexy texting. So- Sexting. So shexting is shitty texting. I don't know what your answer is.

It's shitty. So shexting, this is, your contact school's here baby, you know? Sexting is sexy texting. So by that logic, shexting is shitty texting. So sending texts of your like bowel movements. No, it's actually texting your friends, loved ones, or even annoying coworkers

while taking a dump on the porcelain throne. Not a bad, I was close. I thought it was what you were saying. Like taking pictures of poops. I'm pretty close on that one. I've texted. You like to FaceTime me when you're taking a shower. Always.

Yeah. I will always do it. That's the most thing about it. You have the best like mind when you're showering. So why not put it to work? I talk into your friends. I never show you like my balls or anything. No, I mean, well, actually last week

you showed me your balls. Did I? Yeah, you did. Put it out there. Well, and also you showed Steve. Put it out there again. Balls. Next.

Shexting, that was a good one. Beef walk. Oh, this sounds awful. The beef walk. The beef walk. Not the beef walk, but just beef walk. I hate, one of my least favorite things is when people use beefing as a synonym for farting.

Like, oh, who beefed? I fucking hate that so much. Or tooted. Like what? No, tooted sounds weird. I knew a girl who used to call her vagina her toogie. Yup. Wait, why would that come up?

I don't know. She would say, oh my God, like my toogie. I don't, I was in no way like in any sort of like cutie relationship with this person. But like, I remember it was like, they called their vagina their toogie. Very weird. Beef walk.

Beef walk. I'm thinking if we're going with that, if we're going with like farting, it's gotta be like when you're just walking in farting, just like a constant beef the whole time. You know? Like a crop does? I would think so.

Dude, it's crazy how close you got. Am I? Yeah, it's like going outside or away from the group in order to fart with less consequence. That sounds about right. A beef walk. I told you I'm urban. Yeah, you are.

I'm pretty urban, Joe. Yeah, dude. Pretty urban. If I said that, it'd be racist. It would because you're white and you're racist. Right. The beef walk. I thought a beef walk was like,

like you're just meat is out. Or like, I thought it was like a dude with like a fucking dick that you could see when he's walking. Like, damn, I think it's swinging in his knees. Yeah, I, that doesn't seem like beef. Oh yeah. No. What people got you a big beef.

No one says that anymore, Joey. It's not 2008. But people have said it. Have they? Yeah, we got a big beef. Yeah, I guess so. Oh, you don't touch my beef. Touch your beef.

Or my meat. I think meat is the one. Beef is too specific, you know? The difference is certain. What if they don't eat red meat? Like me. Chicken. I don't know.

Yeah. Oh, touch my ground turkey. We're gonna move forward. So careful. The Cosby sweater. Oh. Okay. Cosby being Bill Cosby.

Yeah. I didn't think you were talking about Bing. That's Crosby. Tomato. So, part of me, there has to be some sort of sexual assault involved in this. Well, I mean, that's your opinion. I would think.

The Cosby sweater. Or is it like a fucking like just big old, just a big old hairy bitch. Just a big old hairy guy. And he just like talks about the pudding pops. And like, maybe there's no sexual assault involved. Maybe this was, Urban Dictionary has been around since before people were outspoken

about this whole Cosby thing. So maybe that's what it is. Maybe it's like, it's like you're talking about like a giant burly man who has just like a fucking big old back and chest of hair. But where would Cosby come in? Because it's different colors. Like it's like red and gray and dark brown and black.

Wait, why? Because he'd always wear different colored sweaters, dog. All right. So actually, kind of close. Really? But not really. You're off, but you're also a little on. I don't know a little bit.

The sexual act of eating fruit loops, fruity pebbles. Okay, stop there. Tricks. First of all, this sounds awesome. Yeah. Boo berry. Very good. Right, delicious.

Or any other bright colored breakfast cereals. Love them. And then vomiting the tacky dazzling mixture onto your partner's chest. The result should look similar to the incredible sweaters that Bill Cosby wore in his highly successful sitcom. So eating a bunch of, you don't multi-close stuff. No, I know, I know, I know.

You don't need to say anything. Vomiting on a person to make a sweater. No sexual assault, I assume. That sounds like an assault, though. That's an assault on the senses. That's for damn sure. It is. That's fucking awful.

Any vomit involved in any sexual act, you both need to go to fucking prison. I'm on board with that, you know? Neptune's kiss. Oh, that's gotta be a sloppy wet bitch. That's gotta be like Neptune was like the god of the ocean in like, I think Roman mythology? I think so.

I'm just gonna let you. I think Neptune is the god of the ocean in Roman mythology, because you have, who's the guy in? Poseidon. Poseidon is Greek. So I think in Roman it was Neptune. So like Neptune's kiss is like you guys, so three people would be involved here.

All right, you got A, you got B, and you got me. So these two are kissing. A three way kiss? And then no, and then I'm peeing on it to make it wet. So I'm peeing on the kiss. You're pissing on two people kissing. Yes, not on them, their face, just on their lips. On the kiss.

On the kiss itself. That's a wet kiss. Yeah, that's not what it is. Okay, close, so close, so close, okay. It's when, it's a name given to the water slash piss splash when, which wets one's bottom when excreting a particularly heavy shit. Oh, okay, I didn't know these didn't have to be sexual.

Well, I think, I don't know. I didn't know these had to be non-sexual. That, I mean, that's, okay. I've been kissed by Neptune. Everyone gets a Neptune kiss every now and then. Sometimes you hit one of those poops and it's like, got dumped. Bank, yeah, it's like pow, pow.

It's like when you know that one kid that can do the jack knife into the pool. Hell yeah. You know, we knew one of those. Dennis. He would crush those jack knives. Guy had a big splash. If you would just dump a couple of Dennis's out.

Yeah. And then it would just splash you on the butt. Crazy dude. Sometimes you have a poop where it's like, throwing a concrete block in there. Way to go Joey. Honestly, great, great comedic contribution. We're gonna move forward.

Yeah. Something, you know, a little less controversial. Okay. Or any of those, except for the Cosby one, I guess. Yeah. Brossama bin Laden. Oh, that's not. It's not less controversial.

Brossama bin Laden. Yeah. All right. So now this is, I'm going, I'm digging it. I'm, I think I got this. Me too. You ever seen Jackass too? Okay.

You never see where they prank their friend by putting pubes on his face and making him think that he's a terrorist. Yeah. So maybe that's what it is. Is they put pubes on the guy's face. Like you put, it's your bro. Cause bro.

Bros. Sama bin Laden. You make your bro put, this is coming off. A beard on his face. Yeah. Like you put pubes on their face. No. It's just a best friend that you never see.

He's always hiding or just at home. I'm fucking hysterical. Bros. Sama bin Laden. We know a couple of those. Ready? Mike. Hey.

Oh my God. Oh, I was like, who's Mike is what? My name's in here. Mike. Hey, where's Joey at? Daniel. I don't know, man. He's being a real brosama bin Laden.

Yep. Yep. That sounds about right. So that's what that is. That sounds about right. Oh my God. We have a lot here. Okay.

This one is a suicide wank. A suicide wank? Wank. Like wank. Like a wank. Yeah. A suicide wank. A suicide wank.

A suicide wank. This is unbelievable. This is fucked up. This is when you... Ah, fucked. Oh, yeah. It's when you jerk off, like as you're like hanging yourself,

like... Jesus Christ. I know you're going. Like auto-erotic, auto-erotic, auto-erotic, auto-erotic. Auto-erotic. Expliciation. Yes, yes, yes. A suicide wank.

It's much worse than that. Won't you light me up? When you're having a wank. Okay. Just before blowing your load, shout, mom or dad, and then try to finish the job before they get into your room.

That's OD. That's fucking hysterical. Oh my God. You ever been... Well, you don't jerk off, never mind. Can you fuck... And I also don't live with my parents. Well, I was going to say,

have you ever gotten like a text from your mom when you're like jerking off and you're like, this is just... I mean, I've been in, you know, like... Or sexual. I've been in a sexual environment. I've been like, mom, stop FaceTiming me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. This next one, great name for a bar. Alligator fuckhouse. Wow. Right? That's awesome. Where are you guys going? We're going down.

We're going to the Alligator fuckhouse. Down the road, baby. Got a couple beers. Yeah. Yeah, what's that? That's right next to the Pink Flamingo. I would say, this has to do with people who just like, they never use body lotion.

They're just scaly bitches. Okay? Yeah. And they are fucking, maybe they got like those people that have like massive mouths. So maybe they're just big mouth people that have bad skin. And they're just, it's an orgy.

So you can't tell what's going on in that orgy except it feels like it's an alligator fuckhouse. No. It's a daring sexual maneuver. Oh, oh, it's a maneuver. Mid-coitus. Okay. One person bites the neck of the other,

locks their arms and legs down, and goes into a death roll, all while maintaining insertion. That's not just risky. That's fucking difficult. Well, it's also risky for your penis. And then your neck or the other person's neck. How much, like I would say,

what percentage of like during sexual intercourse, do you worry about like, your penis? I'm always worried about it. You know, because you're like, okay, if she moves like a little bit this way, this is gonna like bend my dick in half. So I feel like a good percentage of sex is like,

oh, oh, I'm kind of worried. That's what, that sex, it's fun because it's like, it could go wrong very quick. It can go awry very quick. And then this, and then this is like very scary, like being inside and then locking and then roll. That would be scary.

Someone did that to me and bit my neck. I'm swinging fists. No, that's a fight. That's a fight waiting to happen. Yeah. This one, this is gonna be easy. Obviously you're gonna know this. Panamanian petting zoo.

We got that. That's what it is. Panamanian petting zoo. You pet them, they pet you back. Yeah, that's it. No, so Panama, so it's- You're gonna love this one. It's, so it's-

Panamanian pet, panamanian petting zoo. So Panama's got the canal in there. So there's gotta be some sort of moisture involved. Right? Right. So there's a petting zoo. So maybe like you're just like, you're in sex and it's so wet and sweaty.

And then you're just like petting the animals, like as you're doing the sex. Like, like, like Ace Ventura, when he's fucking, what's her name, from Friends. You know? Cox. Yes, Cox, when he's fucking Cox. And there are animals in there

and you're just, you're friendly petting the animals. I wish it was that. What is it? This is the worst one. Uh-oh. When one, what? When someone forces their partner-

Okay, so this is forceful. This is borderline illegal. Yeah, I don't know why they put force in there. Let's make sure we- But that's the least of it. When someone forces one's partner to pick the nuts and corn out of a bowel movement, the partner then presents the nuts and corn

in a cup or dish. One then tosses the nuts and corn onto the bed where the partner eats them like a goat or a typical petting zoo animal. That's what it said. I just lost my breath thinking about how fucking disgusting that was. That's gross.

That is- Also, that's a ton of corn and- Is it? How much corn and bread are you eating and nuts? That's what I'm saying. Even when I have corn, it's not like I could pick enough out that I could make a petting zoo.

That is the most- If someone, please, someone in the comments say, yo, I know someone that has actually done that and I will send you the gun that you can use to shoot and kill them. Because they don't need to be here anymore. Oh man. Oh wow, another easy one.

The Bosnian seesaw. Okay, that sounds awesome. Yeah. Anything Bosnian is pretty cool or scary. And then seesaws, notoriously fun. I haven't been on a seesaw in a decade. What makes the seesaw Bosnian? Is it just shouting obscenities at you the whole time?

I think so. God, that's funny. No, actually, it's when a man needs to pleasure two females at once, needs to, it says by the way. This is a dire situation. Dire situation, yeah. When a man needs to pleasure two females at once, he puts a strap on backwards and thrusts back and forth

while a girl is bent over in front of him and behind him. So he's... That's not a seesaw as much as it's just like, what was that swing, on all those swing sets that had like, you could fit two kids on it. Oh. You know what I'm talking about? And they would like, move it like this.

Yeah, yeah. That's what that seems like. The seesaw is a bad name for this. It's an up and down. This isn't an up and down, it's a forward and back. Yeah. Seasaws don't go that way, fucking idiots. Well, Jesus.

And then actually our last one here, we have staturbated. That's when you masturbate to stats of like a sports player. Yeah, well, yeah. Seriously? To become sexually aroused by one's score in a video game or sport. Look at that. Now let me ask you a question.

Yes, sir. You ever play a video game and been like, No. I'm trying to think if I ever have. I don't think there has been a video game. Have you ever looked up yourself on Urban Dictionary? Oh yeah, I have. It's so stupid.

What does it say for Joe Sanagato? It's basically like Bieber fever. Okay, I need to look it up now. Joe Sanagato on Urban Dictionary. It's just Sanagato. You know what's on Urban Dictionary?

Night course. Is it? Yeah. We made it. Sanagato, known as an infectious disease which causes stalking, drooling, amazing Tuesdays and laughing your ass off. Like, come on.

Take it easy guys. What year is this? Yeah. This was 2012 that someone wrote this. By Sean Marjan. Yeah, and it says I went to Astoria and totally got Sanagato'd. No one says that.

In adults, all of the above. Symptoms include, oh, in adults, all the above, seeing their children on the internet a lot more often. You refer to yourself as a Sanagato fan mom constantly asking who this Joe fellow is. That one's true. Which one?

The Joe fellow. Oh, Joe fellow? Yeah. Also, night course says when something is so insanely crazy and screws you over. First mentioned on Joe Sanagato's podcast, The Basement Yard, night course was made up by Joe's friends, Danny and Ahmed.

It wasn't made up by Danny and Ahmed. It was made up. By accident. By accident. By. I guess technically by Ahmed. Yeah, and then it was stamped with approval by Danny. Yeah.

There are only two hats that remain. Yeah. I have one and Danny has one. Yo, that party was a total night course. That's the sentence. That is funny. Night, night, night, night course, night course. Let me say that a lot.

How was the smell? Oh, it smells mad good now. Well, remember, it started to smell like. It smells good. It smells like cologne now. Yeah, it doesn't smell bad now. That other one though. You okay?

It's okay now. I was really worried that it was gonna hit me again. Yo, what a hot start to this episode. That was a hot one. Guys, listen, we appreciate all you guys for watching the show. We love it. Also, the Patreon, we're really soaring right now.

We appreciate it. We're soaring, flying, there's not a star in heaven that we can't reach. If we're trying, yeah, we're breaking free. Oh, that was for free, bitch. That was for fucking free, dawg. What's that? The fact like you know, bitch.

Young Zach Efron, get all the pussy. When I was 14, my heart throbbed for Vanessa Hudgens. Yeah, dude. What was her song? What was her song? Sneaker night? Sneaker night. Put your sneaker, that sucks, sucks so bad.

Who did that? I got somewhere to be, where to be, where to be. Sneaker night. I remember that shit. I know you did. Too much. Yeah. Too much.

It's a mistake. Damn. What else can we sing right now? Nothing. Right quick. Give me something else real quick. Just hit me with a good song. Hit me with one, three, two, one.

Go. No. In on the count of three. Go. That's a song. Go, go, go. In on the count of three. The Frank Albers on Instagram,

F Albers 8085. Thank you guys so much for being patrons. It's really, it really is soaring right now. It is soaring. Anyway. That's gotta stop. We gotta, listen, we have Basement Yard on Instagram and TikTok at the Basement Yard, right?

Go check it out. Keep letting Brian Reynolds know to come on our show. Brian Reynolds also, yeah, we have to, this is gonna be the week where we, you know, really make a push. But yeah, thank you to everyone over at Patreon.com slash Basement Yard for supporting the show. We appreciate you guys.

And yeah, that is all. See you guys next time. Later.