The Basement Yard - #288 - Cereal Just Got More Poisonous

Episode Date: April 5, 2021

Cinnamon Toast Crunch now comes with a side of shrimp tails. How delicious! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What made me That would you just throw at me a piece of a cup of noodle, okay cool. How you doing Frank? I'm doing all right. You know I Taking a day bike don't you love those like sayings of people like a day by day live in a dream? Yeah, and it's like you can sense the harm and hurt and pain by anyone who's telling me they're living the dream They really is not going not doing well. I have like at different points in my life. I have like different like What's the like I guess a euphemism like it's a live in the dream or you know, this is paradise

That's my that's a big one living in paradise living in paradise is one of mine Let me ask you a question. Let me ask you a question, right? Forget about living in paradise, but like you are a like a How do I explain this? I hope in a nice way like you know how like dads talk to people like in some yeah, yeah You're one of those guys. Oh, yeah, you know what I mean So which one do you use because I was just in Vermont with our friends Espo Gigantic a boss guy big. Oh boss. I go boss. I go buddy Do chief do chief? I don't know if I chief as much as chief is out of control to me I mean your dad was chief and coach a lot. Oh my dad was coaching your dad was coach

My dad would call everyone coach the guy the gas station. They fill it up coach He called your mom John for years. He did he did he just doesn't make sense. It doesn't make any sense What's going on boss? Yeah boss boss. Yeah. Hey, buddy. How's it going like a guy behind it like in at Subway How's it going boss? Yeah boss. I said boss. Why did you go with an accent around the bus? There's the there's the racism No, but I would say boss or or buddy. I think I buddy I I know I've worked with so many different fucking people And I've had to bullshit with so many different people Yeah, that I've learned how to fucking like how to talk to different people, you know what I mean

If you're an old woman and I meet you I'm flirting with you hard. Really? You're getting a hard flirt. Oh Gladys you're glowing. Ah, I do like the oh like if I'm talking to an old woman Who's like clearly in her 60s or 70s and should be like oh back in my day. I was like what 1999 Fucking you just got it, you know, you gotta know how to play the game, baby. Yeah, that's it That's why that woman tried to nail you at a wedding dude I almost got fucked at that wedding Frankie like was dancing with an old woman and then she pulled you in and said let's get Let's get naughty or no. Well, let's let's get raunchy raunchy. That's it. Let's get raunchy She yo, so it was you almost got banged by an old woman dude

This woman I swear to God time and place and the time in place was five minutes to like the side of the dance floor It wasn't that far or yeah, no way. She would have pegged me. Yeah There's no doubt in my mind. Yeah, but I was you know, like I'm a fucking dance party guy You know you find an old woman. You're dancing. You didn't know this woman. I you know, oh, ah If there's a dance floor and I got drinks in me. I'm on it With an old woman on my arm I don't give a fuck who's there because it was one of those like it was one of those dance like parties like my family You're I really haven't been to a party with your family because I don't get invited but like

My family like or like the lake house people there's a dance floor You don't need to worry about people getting on it. People are gonna get their ass up. Yeah. Yeah, you know I don't know if your family's like no. Yeah. Yeah, okay good But like this was one of those weddings where it was like someone had a break the ice Gotcha and like drink they had to be like real drunk before they got on the fucking dance floor And I was up there as soon as I got there. I was ah, oh, oh, oh Don't hurt him. Yeah, go now now. Oh pets. Oh Pat Yeah, just you don't know what you're saying

Yeah, and I'm a big like whatever song is playing you dance to that song Of course, they play who the fuck dances to different songs Frank No, no, no, what I'm saying is like everyone will just be here for like, you know, yeah I can like brown-eyed girl and Bruno Mars, you know, and then oh, yeah, I like they'll stay here forever Right like fucking Bruno comes on get it back Bamping second. Yeah fucking brown-eyed girl comes on it bad, you know, like you gotta switch it up a little Sorry, but like no one was on the dance floor. So I was like, I'm gonna fucking tear this bitch You just grabbed an old woman the woman was like sitting down next to dance floor. And it's just one of these like

And you pointed, you know, like one of those and then she invited you and then she Got up and just a little dance. Nothing crazy. Was she limber? Could she move? Surprisingly, yeah, when you look at her you'd think that a fucking huff puff and a blow away will knock her down Right, you know a good jet stream will knock this old bitch on her ass jet stream I mean you just need a simple fucking gust from a pigeon and she's going she's going to downtown. Yeah But then she like left for a little bit and then she came back later That's when I knew I was in trouble because she fucking grabbed me tight She probably like popped a like a woman Viagra, whatever this thing. Yeah

Like like red shoe not blue shoe who are friends of the show. Are they blue shoe? I don't know if they're today not today. No Normally they are whatever a free plug. It's like the woman one. It's like it doesn't get your penis hard. It gets your Jiney wet Right, oh, Jiney is I like that all right. I've haven't heard Jiney in so long That's amazing. Yeah, this is no you take a pill you get the Jiney, you know just starts flowing Yeah, just open up the car wash exactly exactly you're right back down in Niagara turn the machines on yeah So like I assume like she came and she grabbed me real tight and that's when she said she's like let's get her on

She did she whispered and she say it she it was loud enough that she said it here She said it with gumption. She said it with fucking power Yeah, a lot of force. Oh, she had a lot of force behind those lips. Nice. Yeah, so you didn't fuck her though No, well, you know, I'm just saying no, I don't know what it is older women have a thing for me Maybe because I flirt with them. That's it. Could be it found it. You know what you mean found it That's not the first time an older woman has like tried to like finger bang me. I don't know if I've ever been uh a Costed by an older woman. Is that the right word? Hello William Shakespeare. What the fuck? Yeah, cost it Is that the term? I don't know. I don't know what that means

It just felt right, but I don't think I know the woman has ever Ever done that well because you're not I will say this You're more like when you drink you're like me when I'm sober What? When you're sober I got many many faces you do I know I've seen them all yet But when you drink you become more you come out of your shell a little more normally a little more was not reserved But like yeah, how's it going? You'll talk to people, but like the big loud fucking vivacious Oh, that's me sober right drink start coming

It gets turned up to 38. Yeah, and and sometimes you get to 40 and then I have to pull you aside You I never stop it. You're starting to make me into some fucking reckless drunk. I Always know what I'm doing, and I'm always a fun time whether it's your definition of fun or mine is the difference I'm sure you have fun. Oh, I hope some people don't I mean I will say that one time in Texas I pissed people off, but it was a hilarious. He ruined a hula hoop. Who gives a fuck. It was a hula hoop competition Don't have hula hoop competition. That's fair But it was a we did go to that place because it had a slide and I was fucking battered and bruised because of that slide It was a hard slide. It wasn't you know like slides are like meant to like slide down. This was

Massive yeah, and it was just like what like fiberglass So you didn't like slide on it. You really had to throw yourself down it Yeah, it was it was something which I did quite frequently Yeah, and I think I remember when we were there some kid noticed me and bought me a drink But it was it had some like really sexual name Like it was like a deep throat ocean or something like that. Yeah, and I was like, yeah, I'll take that and then I got it And it was like blue when I was like, where's here's the ocean here's Where's the deep throat? I don't really know. Yeah, but it was it was a good

It was a good job. It was a lot of alcohol. I bet I mean if you're gonna deep throat. Yeah, I don't know No, man good old times, baby. Anyway, I can't wait to get like drunk at a party with you again and like things are safe Oh God, here he goes. I just want one handful For those of you guys that don't know this was involved in a patreon episode So if you want more context as a why this is here, you can go check out patreon.com slash the basement yard join today And you not only get access to every single weekly episode a week in advance But that next tier that little bit of tier the little itty bitty bitty titty that gets you exclusive content that people don't always

Get to see so you can go check it out now those exclusive episodes By the way, why are you presenting that like it's because I'm hoping general Mills gives us like thousands of boxes. Well, they probably won't Can I have that? So This used to be my favorite cereal. Why is it not? Because anyone stray balls Yeah, the balls fucked it up for me. They had Bring back tricks yogurt. Oh

Yeah Yo go Gerts No, well, are they? Oh, yeah. Oh danimals. Yo, Ricardo used to fucking have mad dad Danimals dude Ricardo had it all. I actually The other day I had a ham and mayo sandwich and I was like yo Ricardo used to crush ham and mayo sandwiches He did dude in the tin foil So it was still cold and I hear a thermos in tin foil to no tin foil No, not a thermos. It was just a nipple water bottle that they would fill up every single time. What is a nipple water bottle?

You know what it is Um, I feel like he always had some medicine in his in his lunchbox, too. He might have we don't know what he was going through What a sick man. I don't know about that. No, no, he was just like he I Mean he's probably had a good friend. Where's he been? It was a good. He was a good guy his cousin Was a fucking master in Super Smash Brothers. I always remember that. I don't remember that. Yeah It's cuz I had some weird name something stupid. It was like Eric but with like a D was like arid arid or something stupid I wish I could remember

Derek no No I went to his cousin's house one time and they were playing Animal Crossing and then I got a fever That's all I really remember honestly like I went there I use someone's playing Animal Crossing and I was like the fuck is this and then I got a fever They were a big Nintendo family. I would go there. We'd crush video games when we were at his place a lot a lot a lot They also had a dope basement with a pool table Why do I not remember that? Oh, you didn't go enough you son of a bitch. I guess not but anyway

He was also super smart super very smart I assume still he was the male Jane Yes, people you know the hit the the legend of Jane the legend of Jane the smartest woman across the land also the next Andre Agassi that's it female one Sharapova there you go. She was very good at tennis. Yeah, she was and very tall and very smart trifecta pretty fast too Was she which is like money when you're young wasn't the fastest one. I remember there was another girl Jamie was fastest. Jamie was Jamie was a trifecta too. She was like all fast and she was smart. Yeah, it's like a velociraptor

Yeah, that's why Joey was in love with her right and then there was Lauren Lauren was fast Lauren very tall and she could dribble dude this girl. She could put it on the floor Look this girl might dunk on us still a 100. Yeah, what did I just say? I don't know. I'm not quite sure Okay, uh anyone else who's like a really good athlete growing up to be don't man Well, obviously Dennis Dennis. Yeah, Dennis was we talking about women though. Yeah, sure. I don't remember anyone else There was one girl who was mad good at kickball Had a fucking leg on really send it to space the fuck was her name. Oh, I don't remember. I Don't remember that one. Oh

She reminded me of like not job Was that her name? No, it's not job. No job She's kind of built like Lauren Bencourt. She was she was tall and lanky and prompt. She had a kick on her She had a leg on her. She had a leg on her. Yeah, good old days. Yeah, damn. How the fuck did you know that? Hey, man, I'm here. I'm here. I'm live large and in public. Yeah, there's also my mood My mood is my guy. I like funny. He was very funny. Yeah, there was Muhammad II you remember him. Yes. What the fuck?

I'm back with the hits right now. Oh jeez now. I gotta start thinking of it start going our boy Demir Oh my guy Demir. Yeah, he's a good guy a lot of it's still in a video games my son my son Panos Ponos always with the high C and Greek Mad he's putting his ponos ponos. Yeah, I'm gonna use a little more chapstick. You remember George Which one I? George I Maybe not I but there's George George came in fourth grade and him and I were pissed at each other because I had Iverson sneakers and he also had Iverson sneakers

Damn, I don't I was pissed at him Here we go back to our talk that no one else will get fucking no one's gonna understand this understand But wait, so if it's not tricks, what's your favorite cereal? Boat I would say it's probably Hmm, I don't know if I have a favorite. I there's like cabin crunch. Okay, there's fruity pebbles. Oh, there's that shit That's and then there's like a Serial that's been in the news cinnamon toast. I've got it on. You can't like those anymore. Yeah, so apparently

There was a someone posted on Twitter a picture of their box of cinnamon toast crunch and they opened it and there was like shrimp tails in it Yeah, and like there was like shrimp tails and like string. Yeah Yeah, I'll tell you this their response not really good Hey Cereal company or food company if someone tells you there's something in their food don't gaslight them and say they're lying Yeah, well, yeah, that's bad. That's also for them to be like Oh, no, those are ingredients that haven't mixed in yet. Don't tell me that yeah

He was like, oh, we believe it's just large sugar and cinnamon clump and it's like use your eyes in the in the Shape of a shrimp tail like if it was just the shape I would understand But that's like it's it's translucent and red. It's like yeah, there's like an exoskeleton. It's pretty clear that that's not shrimp I'm never buying cinnamon toast crunch again. See I feel the opposite. Oh, really? I feel well. I don't feel the opposite I'm not gonna like go buy more But I'm gonna eat it. That's what you said. No, I yeah, I did but I'm saying like you're gonna be like those people with the Dr. Seuss books where they're like let's buy them all because they try to cancel dr. Seuss. No, I just feel like I Have went

29 years Without one shrimp tail. That's fair. That's fair. Have you ever had anything in like your cereal or anything that you could think of? hair That's not that bad hair and food gets a bad rap. Yeah, it's just hair. It's just hair like if it's coming from Penises that's different different penis hairs trash penis hair. Not good had hair though What was that movie? She's all that where he puts his puke on the pizza. That's a little heavy That is a little heavy. I would not be happy about that, but like if it's like a long-ass hair Just pick it out. Just pick it out. It's just hair

I've never gotten hair like if I'm at a restaurant and I get food that has hair in it I take the hair out and I continue. Yeah, I'm not sending it back. What are they gonna do home through it? That's when they're gonna though. That's when they're gonna put more hair in it That's when they're gonna rub their eyes. Yeah, or they're gonna put poo poo in it They're gonna put poo poo sauce. Have you ever thought about if someone is spit in your food? I'm very easy. I rush dude if some I've done this you are those where multiple times It could be the wrong thing and you're like, thank you so much And I'll eat it every single time unless it's something that I don't like like if I order like oh man

I really want let me get a hot dog. I'm just easy example You go to restaurant like let me get a hot dog and they accidentally bring me a hamburger and they don't be like Oh, sorry. I thought you got like if they don't do that. They're just like, oh here you go I'll just go I'm eating this. Yeah, that's it. That's just the kind of person. I better say than sorry. I get it. I Have very rarely Been like, oh, can you cook this a little more? I don't think I've ever done it would have to be fucked up The only time I will do that is with chicken. Yeah chicken scares me. I'm terrified of chicken

Oh, dude, if you give me a steak and it's a little undercooked. I'm happy. I don't care like it doesn't rare So I like my steak anyways, so a little undercooked. I'm okay Yeah, but if there's a little bit of pink in my chicken, I'm fucking burning that place to the ground Yeah, like that will be upset me. But like I don't think I've had anything in my cereal or like those people that are like Listen, I'm sorry, but I said no pickles Pick it off there. Yeah Yeah, I mean, I remember when I was younger. I hated onions. I hated onions when I was younger So whenever I would go and I still hate mustard, but whenever I would go to like a fucking fast food joint

I would say no onions. I'm allergic. I'll die. Oh Wow, but like I could understand if people are like, yo, if I if there's like pickle residue like I'll fucking blow up and die You know, but like are people allergic to pickles? I think people's allergic to everything people gotta be allergic to pickles Pickles, right? I don't know. They gotta be. I Love a good pickle. I'll suck a bit. Oh, I suck the life out of I had a good pickle when I was up in Vermont Really? Good pickles in Vermont. Well, I don't I that pickle was good that's individual pickle Where's it from? It would came with food. Oh, so you don't know if it was a Vermont pickle or if it was like a fucking like Nebraska pickle

Well, I don't think they're importing. They might you never know. I don't know Pickles pickles being allergic to pickles. Yeah. Oh, but yeah That I understand if like it's like an allergy thing, but if it's just like a personal preference like fucking grow up Yeah, I I have no preference. I'll order if you don't listen to me Bad for me. Yeah, but I'm gonna eat it. It's also bad for them. You know, you know that they suck. I Really don't like I'm very easy different with sauces Like if no, I don't see and that's the thing too Like if I'm like, yeah, can I get this would catch up and they put like barbecue sauce on it?

I'm gonna be like, I'm just eating this. It's the same thing. All right, but what kind of sauces are you talking about mustard? I'm still gonna eat it. Really? Yeah. Oh, no Fucking hate mustard so yo like people are just like I remember one time I got a burger and there's mustard on someone's like wipe it off You can't mustard is there once it's there. It's fucking there forever. It's hard to get off You can't do anything about it. Yeah, but like this people with the cinnamon toast crunch. They're in trouble They're probably not because it's probably like the most universally loved cereal. I don't agree with that I think everyone talks about cinnamon toast crunch being like their favorite. It's okay. It fucks up. You know the milk It's not oh everyone's slow the roll. It's not the best cereal. What's the best cereal?

Or lucky charms, okay Lucky charms. No, it's not. It's how the fuck is it lucky charms Joey? How how is it not lucky charms because without the marshmallows, it's nothing well then it then it's not lucky charms You can run out and also you grow up in the same kind of house I did where motherfuckers were picking out marshmallows bad boys out, but that was Pete's fucking Bowl of cereal in the morning. We're like a goddamn Candy dish your king of candy Keith Sanagato. Let me tell you yeah that kid. I'm shocked. He doesn't does he have diabetes? Not to my knowledge. Well good because he's a fucking walking science project. Yeah

It's I mean, we'll discuss this on a patreon episode, but like That's the other thing. I love shrimp not in my Not my cereal. I Don't even think shrimp is that good Like do you think it's like a great thing? Yeah, like oysters oysters like oh great. I eat oysters. They're good like whatever They're better than good. They're great. See like I don't think that because without like the lemon and no wish I dish Or whatever else you put on it one with that one more time or ready. Yes

Then that makes it like okay, this is a tasty little snot When you call it snot then it's disgusting. Well, if you just eat like a like oyster by itself It's not like it's the most flavorful thing in the world. It's good It's salt salty and chili. I will say I had Without a doubt the worst way to have an oyster in my life. What does that mean an oyster shooter? You know what that is? No people make shots and Put an oyster in it

So like one was made for me normally it's with vodka, but one was made for me with Sambuca Sambuca and then they just put an oyster in the cup. Yep That's disgusting. Oh, it was the worst thing Gavin. I know you're not watching. It sucked. I know That's terrible. It was fucking awful. It was so bad. What is what is I don't even want to know I Like a shell like to have the shell there's cool Just by itself. I Did like slurp out the shell, you know what next time you come over. I'm getting oyster. Oh, he's dish. I'm gonna get you What was that? Yeah, um, yeah, man, these cinnamon toast crunch people are fucking like yo like we don't know

Do you have you ever tweeted out of food people that like something happened? I've definitely done that to airlines and nothing's come of it. Yeah, you remember back in like 2012 You tweeted at fucking Taco Bell and they tweeted back at you. Oh, yeah That was like viral. That was the first time that I ever went viral and it did nothing for me Look at you now. How do you know that? That's true. Taco Bell made this But no, I tweeted at Taco Bell because I used to do late night Taco Bell runs all the time when you're a kid And your body's just like dude, whatever you want to put you could eat nails and we'll be fine Taco Bell. Yeah, but I so I would go and I would get a fucking Doritos

Locos Doritos Los Tacos, those are not even the best thing they got and then the soft I would get like a saw a couple soft tacos. Yep, and then I get a guy's daddy. Yeah, what a case of D Okay, I was gonna say what I don't even know what that is a chicken quesadilla And then I would blow it out of my ass for the next week During that time though, I tweeted at Taco Bell and I was like just got Taco Bell tonight like whatever And they were like pumped they're like awesome Joe

What did you get and I was like I got diarrhea, but it was worth it Yeah, and then they didn't tweet you that and no, and then they tweeted back to that and they said ha they said uh Something like too much information or something like that. They slam Taco Bell though. Absolutely slammed This is before like like fast food Twitter accounts were like fucking flaming people online. Yeah Yeah, remember the Wendy's was just going after people like Wendy's was like going after McDonald's. Oh, yeah, there was some beef They were That wasn't even what I wanted to say. I didn't want to be a job didn't want to make that joke good job Joey, where's the beef who has the beef? What is that? No, we've got the beef. No, it was that meats

That's our bees and then why where's the beef is this is the old? I think it was Wendy's from back in the day. Where's the beef the woman the old lady Oh, that you just sounded like a little Irish kid. Hey, where's the beef? I don't know that's just an old lady Are I you have never had Arby's before me neither me neither and my body's probably proud of me for it What do they even sell? Meat I know they have gyros that they like gyros like idiots. They call yeetals Listen, we're from New York. We're from Astoria, New York the biggest fucking Greek place outside of Greece

It's a gyro if you have so all you will do you know fucking shut up I've never heard a great person call that's what I'm saying every Greek person. I know called it a gyro Yeah, but yeah, they got gyros and then they got like pulled pork sandwiches But not from Arby's no, I can't like long John Silver's like how you eat like yeah How do you get fast food see food? Yeah, that's that's scary like these people like get filet of fish for McDonald's What the hell is wrong with you? Look man fish is is something that like you need to get from a trusted source to begin with and if that trusted source is fucking McDonald's

What about what about where do you sit on the McRib? I've never had it me neither, but it's not rib. It can't be it's probably like Fibula like it tibula tibia tibia tibia and fibia. They're both there Whatever one is longer than the other That helps. Yeah. Yeah, so That's what I think it is, but I've never had the McRib before I eat what a regular shit like I don't go to McDonald's to get salads. That's just I used to do that back in the day You're probably super healthy. Yeah

Or like even when you would go to Subway and be like, oh, I'm gonna lose weight just like Jared the boy toucher Careful now careful. Fuck him. You're right. Fuck him. Yeah, and he's probably Someone's someone's doing that. Yeah, is he in prison? Oh big time. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, he should be oh my god Have you heard some of those like tapes or whatever? No, what tapes? I'm pretty sure there was those me those me. Yo, what did you think that was Subway was coming for us? I thought they were gonna fucking like these through a fucking brick at the window. Remember our guy monsoon Monsoon wasn't his real name. I'm pretty sure we so when we were kids There was a taco. Nope when we were kids

There was a subway right up the block from we used to hang out at it every day Yo for like not just like oh, let's go get lunch and hang there like 4 p.m. Until like 10 p.m. At night a long time and we would always get free stuff from what's your subway order. All right Now or what it used to be Now it's like first of all, I haven't had it in actually this not sure I had it not long ago I probably had it like 2013 those last time like chick. That's a lie the last time I went to Vermont I got it and I fucking had poor food poisoning. Yeah chicken spinach oil and vinegar

Avocado like now. It's all right now. It's not bad back in the day. You ready for this. Mm-hmm pepperoni Okay, provolone cheese, okay shredded cheddar cheese. Oh my god toast that bitch. Yep. Take it out. Take it out lettuce tomato cucumber Pickles olives and then down. I want that thing to be doused in oil and vinegar. Oh Jesus it is fucking I Should get a sweet He's got a sweet onion chicken teriyaki thing that they had remember that and I would just be like go nuts with this Fucking it was like sugar. You used to do that with you also used to get chicken pizziolas. Oh

You were a big chicken pizzi. Oh, it was like chicken mozzarella cheese some other fucking cheese pepperoni and It was based the sauce in this house and Joey I remember you would eat it and you would keep it inside of your mouth when you would talk for like minutes You hated that and root beer Barks. Yeah, dude. That was Joey. I fucking still don't like root beer But you guys would go you and keep it go nuts on barks root beer. I was a big root beer That's where the dawn of Keith Keith the cookie man was remember that when we were sitting down and yo Somebody's got good fucking cookies. Yeah, those cookies are to die for yeah

You put those bitch in the microwave for a couple minutes. We minutes. Don't come out black. Yeah seconds nothing wrong Coming up like I Gotta make sure I'm saying this because people will misconstru everything but We were sitting there and we were eating and Keith went like Got his sandwich and ate and he got up and he was like, oh, I'm gonna go get a cook Never mind, I don't have any money left But if I had money I would get a cookie I'd get two cookies probably the white chocolate chip But I don't have money, but I don't have any money, but if I did but if I did I put him in a

I'd get that one. That's exactly what he would do and at a certain point. I was like yo, Keith Do you want I I'll give you a dollar go get some fucking cookie. Oh, no, no, no, no, no Keith take the fucking dollar you're sure. Yes, meanwhile Keith like Put food on my table for like a good six years Keith because I didn't have a job when I was like young obviously He's had a lot of different jobs. He worked at a liquor store for a while. Yeah, I remember that he worked at an after-school program Yep, he was a teacher aid teachers aid. He worked Um

Where else did he work? You know better than I do He did a lot of stints at places. Yeah You always had the money Do you ever I don't know if you did this but like a bunch of our friends worked at that fucking kid birthday place? No, never me dude. I worked at one time work there. It was fucking awful I never knew there was a kid birthday place down there, which is fucking shady It was in an area that by the way in a story we called the dumps

Yeah, the dumps and there was like fucking like, you know like uba-duba down there Like it was it was also right next to fucking like truck depots and shit And it was like this is not and then like a burrilla fucking pasta factory. Yeah, yeah But I remember one time I was there with the one time I went and I was doing a birthday party and I was like probably like 15 years old and I was like The fuck is going and then they had this rock climbing wall and there'd be like little kids like getting on the rock climbing wall And then like climbing across and you just kind of make sure they don't fall off. Yeah, but then there's this one kid who looked 10

Years old or like 11, which is like You know small you grow a lot from 10 to 15 or whatever old I was but he was like a bigger kid and he was a That kid his poor boy and he Was on the wall and I'm like if this kid comes off the wall I'm not doing anything like I am gonna be of no help here. Yeah, and it was terrifying I'm getting paid. I stop. I didn't go back. I don't I worked one day. I don't blame you I would never have worked there. I remember there were times where we would go They also worked like Saturday and Sunday mornings. Yeah, which I remember like we would go out with Danny and Dom

Like they'd come out with us and we'd be drinking and shit They'd be like, yo, I got work at four in them or like not for like seven in the morning. Yeah, like, uh, yeah No, that must suck. I got a birthday. I got a pizza party to go to. Do you remember my first job? No, it was off the books and I worked at Elm Jack Doing what I was like a groundskeeper at Elm Jack Like you were cutting the grass. Yeah Little racist, yeah, but my boss was Puerto Rican so it can't be racist Can't be but yeah, I would like fucking like work on like the clay

Did you have a thing that you drove or did you have to pressure a tractor? That's fire I did and it also had the thing on the back that would like drag the clay to make the fields like oh, yeah It was a bad. It was fun. I don't even know what my first job was. I can't remember really you don't remember at all I feel like I worked at a job dude. I can't tell you one time. I quit a job. I just never going back Yeah, that sounds that's like on par for what I do very you you're the king of Irish goodbyes and Irish quitting I literally have quit two jobs that way like what jobs? Antonio's okay. Yeah, yeah, I worked there But I was doing everything and then I didn't I was like oh, I can't I was also the king of like if it was a nice day out

In the summer and I had work at like four. Yeah, I would hit them up at like three o'clock like oh, man I can't I'm sick because we're all playing basketball. I'm like fuck. This is too fun Yeah, I'm not going so and they'd be so mad at me But I never got fired and then I was like oh, I can't come in tomorrow or the next day And they're like all right cool And then I just never went back and then they called me They were been calling me and I had just not picked up and then they and then I finally picked up and he's like the guy the manager's name I think was Charlie and he was like hey, uh

Are you like you're gonna come back and I was like I I I don't think so and he's like All right You just got see you're done and that was it you're done Yeah, yeah, and then I got I got like basically fired from my other job The other pizzeria because a guy on a motorcycle hit my car and I couldn't drive anymore I remember that yeah, and then Even right and then I quit I quit eventually I quit a lead daily But that was like a normal like business quit and that was probably the only job where it like went normally

My dad didn't let me have a job until I was 18 Why he cuz my dad he was afraid what you would do with money. Yeah, my dad dropped out of high school My dad dropped that high school when he was in like a fucking sophomore And he always say well fake Lee. I did that I'll tell you why I didn't I didn't even fuck a school make money. I don't even know what you just said I thought you said you fucked a school. I didn't need school to make money. That's what my dad would say I'll be like I fuck a figure. I didn't need school to make money So my dad always said to me like I want you work at 318 fish fuck a high school foot

so my first like job job like on the books job was the summer before after I graduated high school and I worked at a fucking like I did like clerical work at like a fucking sports medicine place guess what it sucked So fucking much Really dude, I had to go to screw the scrubs part wasn't that back cuz they're kind of comfy and it's easy to just throw scrubs I'm scrubs. Yeah, but like I had to like go through like thousands of records of like Random fucking like a story of people that would go And you'd be like, oh my god, George's got a fucked up. Yeah, you know like oh I don't want to know about your fucking thoracic spine

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Do I sound like Tony? Oh, please give me some work. I do hope that cinnamon toast crunch gets cancelled So now people can be happy and find a new Actually good cereal For the pebbles never let me down. I've never found any pieces never never It gives me the popes though what cereal. Yeah, it's not milk. It gives me the popes That's probably why I was pooping so much in like public places is because I Was having so much milk when I was younger motherfucker

Speaking up what some shit happened to me the other day and now I want to talk about it What all right? This this is real it has to do with poop in a public place. You shit. No, listen, I Went to I went to like I do a lot of driving, you know and the park guards a parkway a lot of rest stops Okay, and you know every now and then I drink, you know like a water or something on the way here So I have to like stop and use the bathroom Did tell me how this motherfucker in the bathroom. It's just like oh What are you talking about oh He's taking a hard shit dude. Whatever he was doing. He was fucking grunting like this really in public

Was there other people in there besides you a lot a lot of people I had to have been a prank I hope because this guy was clearly going through something in that stall. So was he standing or sitting? I Didn't see his feet. I can't I wasn't watching them. I just heard I just heard what was going on I would have checked this out. This guy was experiencing the father son and the holy Christ. Amen You know the holy ghost, that's his name Holy Christ. I mean also him. Yeah, but also the holy ghost. Yes. Why do we do this? Sign of the cross but like why why is it father son? Holy Spirit North South West East? I Have no you're asking the wrong girl, but what but why is the Holy Spirit the West and the East?

Someone decided I don't know so Joey actually I Feel like we need to make a rulebook. Okay, what do you what do you what we need to make a rulebook about what public bathrooms? Taking shits not just taking shits, but like in public bathroom. I have shit in Madison Square Garden. That's horrible That's really I had I had no choice Well, I mean it's a bathroom and it was like is it like one of those bath that has like the stalls like a trough No, is that like the P places a trough? No, I hate those. Yeah, I have to share the piss like I like give me some walls I don't want to see every dick there. Yeah, I know I said every I'll see a dick or two. Yeah

So so Joey in we're gonna make the definitive way. Did you make rules? No, we're gonna make definitive rules Oh for public restroom etiquette. What kind of public restroom? We're talking about as adults or children as adults because that kids can do whatever the fuck they want They do do whatever the fuck they want because I remember being in third grade you walk in everything is wet That's for the parents are held responsible. So you know what? I'll put kids kids in here too so we can say like what's okay with like the kids, you know Okay, okay. All right, Joey you ready? Okay We're making a rulebook here. Okay public restroom rulebook etiquette

Public restroom etiquette rulebook rule shut up This is what the people will take from here. I'm gonna I want to say this about public restrooms, right? Go ahead Go ahead. Do you know how dudes won't use the urinal right next to a guy? We might get to that. Wait, are you gonna do something or you want me to just go off the top? I'm God got something to do here. Oh, all right. So the topic number one grunting As I was talking this guy was grunting pretty hard. You can't be grunting. What's a level of grunt though? That is like, okay Run it's like a

Like you're like, oh my god You know different contexts. That's that's a moan. Yeah, but it's kind of like you're nervous and you're scared You're like, so so there's a level of like fear that is okay to like Like it should only be you who's here in this thing like if you got it like That's fine, okay So so gruntings are right as long as it's made basically moaning and like not everyone else can hear you It's got to be just a just a moan for you. You're not gonna fit all that on there Don't worry about where I'm gonna fit where I'm gonna fit it. Okay

So so you think that like a soft like Okay, you're making it sexual I am use what oh I went oh No, that could be a sex thing. Oh, no, you never know something might happen that might throw you for a loop. Oh, no I can't oh no That would be like some role-playing like oh, no, I'm under arrest. No like take my But take my butt, you know, I don't role play Joey. Okay. Is it an apparent? All right, so grunting could be low and it could be there needs to be a level of fear, right?

You're writing this for no reason grunts Frankie loves writing on dry erase shit. Okay, don't you? No, because you're just this is a stupid now grunts should be low and with fear Okay Okay grunts could be low and with fear. Oh, that's legible All right, what else you got? Okay? Your bodily functions so sometimes people go in there you've talked about how a guy was just fucking pooping Oh, yeah, like poop. It literally sounded like that

Yeah, like his butthole sound like so what's the level of control you need to have over your bodily functions I think that you can't just let poops Like be naturally escorted out like I think you have to fight it on its way out a little Oh, so you need to pretend like you're not like you don't want to be there Like if you got a big poop coming you got it like Like sneak it out. Yeah, you can't just go That's insane. You can't just let the shit don't yeah, I mean that's a little yeah I mean if you as much as you can like at least make the attempt so like you got to breathe from the top here

You got it. Oh, yeah, okay. Oh Well, oh picture you're like letting someone like someone on the end of a rope and you're lowering them You don't just go like all right. It's just kind of lower. So like you're belaying a poop out of your body. Yeah, it's like Yes, okay. All right. So like well, what about forts? Farts are inevitable, but like do you fight those too? Well, I don't set it off slow. So slowly lower Frankie

This is so dumb slowly lower the poop Okay, yeah and forts inevitable, but let's be let's be not let's be gentlemen But well, that's the other thing are like some people think they get in the bathroom and it's like guy time No, I know that's out of that's a little crazy I don't think people are allowed to do that in the bathroom. No, it's too much. So be respectful with your farts Yeah, what about burps? No, you just let them fly swallow your burps. Oh, you can't burp But the people that go in there like, you know, also no spitting. Yeah, people that spit in the bathrooms spitting into a urinal

Like what the fuck's wrong with you, dude? Spit I I'm gonna rip that out of your hands No spit Got it. Um, and uh Farts you said the farts you just like if they happen they happen, but don't like don't show them off Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't don't don't act like you're you know

Going for the record Don't Go for record farts Okay, so dumb You want to do it joey? No You're writing this down for no reason. All right, I won't just because joey wants to control everything You can't even read that I can

Stop don't go ahead. Go ahead Okay This joey control. All right, so that makes sense with the the poops like just like Do you put hands on anything when you get in there or do you like don't touch? Oh, no, I scrub in you scrub in scrub out Yeah Oh, I don't wash my hands before I take a shit. I probably should though probably should in those places You wash your hands before you take a shit. I mean anytime I go into a public restroom I wash my hands someone blew my mind once they were like when I go to the bathroom

Even if I'm taking a piss in a public bathroom when I get in there I immediately wash my hands and then I don't wash them on the way out. Well, that's dumb That's the dumb part But they're like they walk in like I was just at like especially in public I was touching a bunch of things if I'm about to touch my penis Then it's going to get Then I'm going to get those germs on my penis if I don't wash my hands first if it's just a penis. I get it Oh, yeah, yeah, but if you're fucking wiping your poop

Oh, yeah, then you have to yeah, then you got to wipe But if you're just taking a piss it's like I think I know who said this I don't even know. Oh, okay, but I was just like It like blew my mind because I always just pee and then I wash my hands, but it's like now I just dirty my penis Yeah, because I didn't wash my way wash your wash your hands before you touch your pee because when you think about it Dicks aren't like just dirty unless you're a girl. Do why do girls touch their Like do they have to like point their stream down? How do they do that? Are they like water benders? No, I mean they just kind of

They don't lean, but it just comes out that way. They always like arch their back Or they sit in a toilet. They're always like Like a secretary. Yeah, exactly. Like they're doing the sorority squat when they pee basically Did you honestly think that women had to sit at an angle to piss? Yep Moving on. All right, joey checking the stalls If they're occupied, do you look under do you look through the crack looking under is way too crazy You got to crack it. You got to crack it, right? Yeah, but what if there is no crack?

Do you knock or do you just look under big knock? You're not well from far away. You can see shoes Well, sometimes there are deep stalls Stalls what fucking bathrooms are you going to with a completely concealed? There's some deep stalls sometimes and sometimes people don't like their feet to be shown So they like tuck it behind the toilet Are you saying you do that? No So you're saying they they sit on it with their legs back. Yeah, they're people that do that and people put their feet up sometimes Up yeah

What you've never seen this who the hell is shitting in an L position people Freaks maybe Who was it? someone I know takes a piece of toilet paper And throws it over the stall so it Blocks the crack so no one can see it. That's very smart. That's psychotic to me. That's very smart That's a little that's a much people are coming and looking through the crack

You don't want them to see you in there. It's a small crack. You're not getting all you never know people people things happen in bathrooms I guess but that just seems like overkill to me No, it doesn't seem like overkill. So you're you're going through cracks not under under you're putting your facing to the ground That's that's dangerous. Yeah, because think of it. Yeah, it's a lot. Okay. You can't get close to the floor eye contact No, no eye contact. What am I looking at? I'm just like eye contact. What's the like you're gonna you're gonna meet eyes with someone it's intimate Isn't it like an additional like is it like a Or is it just like a

That one it's a very quick eye contact if you have to make it just like a I'm in there. I'm looking at shoes I'm looking at shoes. You're not picking your eyes up. I'm not picking my eyes Do you honestly do you look at if you're if you're in one of those troughs? Do you look at the dick next to you? What the fuck of course peripheral vision cocks Hey, man. I it's weird about penises When you know they're out, you're like, you have to see them. We've talked about this ad nauseam I don't know why but it's just kind of one of those things

So eye contact as as little as possible can't be looking around at people Imagine you walk in and someone's just staring at you. You'd be like dude relax. I gotta piss like you're making me nervous Well, I'm not saying like they're gonna be stare if they're staring at you But you're not making eye contact like that's weird, you know, but also if they're making eye contact with everyone in there It's kind of like dude. Have you ever been recognized in a bathroom? I'm sure I have While I was like, oh wait, I think I yeah, I was pissing I was literally pissing

And someone was yo, I think was out of Giants game. Really? Yeah. Yikes. It was not cool That would be I would I'd rather go up to people eating dinner than peeing Yeah It's a hard one. Okay Can you imagine through the crack getting recognized? Okay. So now here's the here's the one that you were gonna say The room between stalls. I so here's the thing we go. All right. We go to stall. There are no dividers Because dividers make a big difference those metal dividers sure no dividers. There's four stalls And there's one guy in the middle

Like say there's five make it an odd number Make it easy if there's four and there's two guys on the ends Do you go to the bathroom? I wanted the ones in the middle And yeah, well, no that's different because you need to I'm saying like if there's a guy And he's not in the the one all the way to the left He's in like the second to the left So there's like two on one side of him and one on the other side. Yeah, which one did you pick? You go to the two obviously you go to the farther one

Or are you like you're you'll you'll you'll fall on this is bro time pee right next to him No, if I have the option I'm not gonna piss right next to somebody But the idea that we have to be like One here this one's closed one here. This one's closed one here like that's just so dumb Like people will stand there in line and won't piss even though there's two stalls open Because they're next to somebody because they're like what well now it makes sense for corona I get it now because of the pandemic. Yeah, I'm not talking about that pandemic like just let it fly I'm pissing in there, dude. Let it fly. I've put on the flip side if I'm

Pissing and there's multiple stalls open and you come and stand next to me now. I feel like We're dating or something like what are we doing? Why are you right here right now? That makes sense? That does make sense. You know, I'm kind of I understand where you are on that one. It's an act of love and War. Mm-hmm. Yeah Which sometimes can be confused Never that baby all fair and loving more I was trying to think of that and I couldn't because you're an idiot Roger that, um

I would back up just text me apparently it's supposed to be 80 degrees on friday. Whoo 80 you're damn right, baby 80 That is a reference to a drunk video of me in vegas with no one will ever see because joey asked me not to show anyone Yeah, I don't like being seen drunk. That's okay But you then you'd hate the videos that I have at you. Let me tell you I know you do hate them Would you rather me delete them? No, they're not that good because it would never fucking happen joey I also have a picture of you completely naked

Leaning on the glass. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah of my room in vegas. Yeah. Amen. I'm looking at this today Uh chit chat in a public restroom. What a what? No, no chit chat. Don't talk to me about the game. You don't want to so you are a perfect example. You're at yankee stadium One time I was in a bathroom and I saw a guy I was at yankee stadium. Mm-hmm. There was a guy brushing his teeth in the bathroom That's wild. I was like, did you sleep here? That's wild. Yeah, they might have it was a night game. It might have. Yeah Will you brush it? They might they might be a trucker The what might be trucker. No, they might be that's crazy. Um, so no chit chat. You want no chit chat Don't not talk to me not even like oh man. We're losing

I'm okay with that. I'm okay with that if if there's a tv or a sound from the stadium And like oh, I never like you know what happened and people try to figure it out Okay, I that I'm okay with but you're at queen's center mall and like people are just pissing in the bathroom You don't want to talk about anything to be very clear. Yes I would shit in my own hand before I went into the bathroom at that mall. Why? Disgusting. Yeah, that mall is a little and he's a little running. There's glory holes in there. Stop. I heard Let's go. There's this girl that we know not, you know, I don't think you know her I don't think you never who do I know but there's a girl that I know that works

in like healthcare or whatever you want to call that and part of her like division was like Finding glory holes. Hold on. Yeah people get paid to find glory holes It was like I would have been a fucking millionaire by now. There's like something about like std research I think so it was like trying to find and like there was one at Queen's center mall. Yo people still use glory holes I mean tail is all this time I don't know if that fits It absolutely does

True is it can be You need to work on that Joey. I'll let you I'll let you go there to see if you had it You didn't have it some days. I do something. You know what I listened to this morning That don't impress me much Shania That song was ridiculous that song fucking still slaps and the video have you seen the video recently? Yeah, she's just driving a car through the desert and she's got it Shania twain was a dragon

She was hot as shit. Yeah, she's back still baby. She's I don't know what she looks like now. Good. Let's take a look Let's take a look. Good. Does she yes, Shania twain 2020. She's Canadian. I what does that have to do with anything? I don't know You know what's funny? It's I was gonna say that before I'm glad you did because I know that's what your response would have been Uh, oh, yeah. Yeah. Shania still got it, baby Yeah Fuck yeah. Oh, yeah. How old is she 50? She's gotta be in her 50s, right? But she looks already in her 40s She looks like later

Dude, that's a very that that do impress me much So no chitchat unless it's about like where you are or shania twain or shania twain Should I twain chitchat in the bathroom? Oh man all about it Uh, here's one. I didn't write down if you find a glory hole. Do you report it? To who I don't know if it's in like a target. Hey manager glory hole in there. Absolutely not. I would never snitch I would never snitch like that. There's a glory hole. No way. Never ever. I would be psyched because I've never seen one I'd be like what it would be like seeing a unicorn. Yeah, I've never seen a glory hole or a ghost Have I seen a glory hole? I don't know. I don't think so. All right, joey

phone calls In the bathroom any phone calls in public like You're not about no, why? Especially people who have bluetooth on and you have to tell everyone like It's like just shut up. You just shut up like just stop. I I once bought a bluetooth with the gift card I got for christmas. Yeah And uh, and I was told I looked like the portery good taxi driver Because I would be like, yo i'm getting in the car

It was like a part of my routine like when I drive I'd put the bluetooth in That is amazing. Yeah, and you would take calls Yeah, yeah, I'd be like, hello. Hey. Yeah. Yeah, I absolutely was I hate that shit I hate people who take phone calls who talk mad loud and like just have no self-awareness. You also don't like phone calls No, I don't mind phone calls. I but when you're in public and you're talking on the phone super loud I'm just like dude have some self-awareness like no one cares. Yeah, and you also you're in the store You're waiting online. I have to I have to admit. I think the bathroom is the one place you can get away with it Because it's like no one's like people are not trying to not listen. You know what I mean?

Like they're just like just doing their thing in the bathroom in the bathroom It's a german bathroom only easy but like in public where you're just trying to like go about your life I get that but when you're in a bathroom, you're not trying to like do anything that you need that you need to listen to You know what I mean? I guess I just I think it just what about people like if you like I'm looking at videos on your phone thumbs up thumbs down Just you're you're gonna be you're only gonna be here for a minute and a half like just some people might be there Well, I mean if you're gonna take all huge boaps, then yeah, sure go crazy. What's the longest you've spent in a bathroom pooping Um

Not long. I feel like yeah, you're pretty you're pretty you're pretty slippery boy. Yeah, I get in and out You're in and out not long because you also wait until the very last second You wait until the poop is all like, you know at baggage claim and then Then you go drop it off. Then we call the uber, you know, uh, but yeah, that's that's pretty accurate. I'm not in there very long All right All right, uh kids What kids kids How much control are does the parent need to have over them? Are they allowed to like kind of just like be reckless a little bit?

What does that mean? You know just like kids be kids in a bathroom I've never even experienced this because you don't have kids joey But I also oh like you bringing your kid like yeah, if they piss all over the toilet seat Do you just like oh it's a public bathroom? Oh, yeah Any mistakes in a public bathroom? Walk away. Okay. If you accidentally shit on the ground Leave it. Don't be a hero. Don't be a hero. Leave it. Yeah

um But with your daughter, where do you go to the bathroom with her the family bathroom? Those exist everywhere. A lot of the places I see now. Yeah Yeah, but if you had to choose The family bathroom if you had to choose of male and female bathroom Oh, I can't go into a female bathroom. So you would have to bring her in. I have to go into the male bathroom. Yeah Where do you think you think if I walk into a female bathroom, we'll be like, oh, he's with a fucking newborn. He's all right No, they're not gonna say that

How the fuck do you think this works joey? I don't know why I I thought there would be more to that I think it's the adult that makes the distinction of what bathroom they go into got you, you know Like if you had a daughter you would go into a men's bathroom, right if your partner Had a fucking son She would take them into the Female bathroom. It's true You're not wrong. So kids just like just like let them do their thing. No, put them on a short leash Oh, you're about putting leashes on kids. Oh, like these children. It makes sense. Everyone let these children just run around

Well, like just like, you know, just I don't know. I guess I should spit balls and even have another one All right, last question for the rule book etiquette of rule books of public restrooms What level of nudity is okay On a man Yeah, or like remember we can also speak for our female brethren, you know Two heterosexual men speaking for women One of them is white What what uh, what um

Nudity like what are we talking about? Like pants at my ankles taking a pee. Yes Um, throw them out throw who the person or the pants both. Oh, okay Like kill them. There's no reason for your asshole to hit the wind Unless you're booping and you're also like within you're caught you're like in the wall at what age is being fully naked peeing Like pants at ankles peeing like no longer. Okay, because like when you can put your own pants on No Like a five year old You think a five year old should still be like, oh, I got a pee

No, but I think I but I think it's different like if a kid did that you'd be like, all right Like they're a kid, but like if you have a fucking like 16 year old doing that Dude, even a 10 year old you'd be like what the fuck is going on really dude I know someone that I don't know what it is about this person every time they poop. They need to get fully naked I know people like oh, they get shirtless. No, I know someone like it's fully naked That's a lot. That's that's such a hassle. That's ridiculous. And like imagine if you're like taking your shoes off, dude Oh my god, imagine if you're like in like a suit Oh, forget. Oh, that's a half an hour of dressing. Yeah, I agree. So like you think no nudity

I think there's a lot like in a bathroom. There's an expectation that there's a little bit of nudity not like, you know Flashers, but I think that If someone's a little naked and you see it's like we're in a bathroom. It's understandable Obviously, you know, it depends what you're doing. I mean if you fucking if you have to Do your thing But the people that stand up fully in a stall And wipe their ass like standing straight up. Oh man. Yeah, no, they that's We're talking about jail. We're talking about jail now. Well, that's probably where they got it from. Yeah, you know

People who stand up and wipe what a psychotic thing. Are you a wipe under or wipe? through the back What when you wipe do you go under? Or do you go around the back around the back? How would you even do under? Yeah, but like You like get up. Do you do that? No. Oh, so like me going like this You're like, that'd be tough. Yeah, you can do it. My wrist would hit my anus hole And your balls that too. That'd be nice balls on your wrist. What time is it?

You remember that? That was your favorite trick. Uh, but there you go. Now we know those are the fucking those those are the rules Of the bathroom. Those are the rules of the bathroom. Yeah, and like listen if you're freaked out about pissing next to this a guy like get over it Yeah, and girls girls. I mean they can't they don't have girl urinals girls Yeah, no unless they have those troughs No, they don't girls can pee in troughs, right? If their core is strong enough to hold them up tell themselves up like a like a gymnast I don't think you know what you're saying. Yeah, like a what's that the have you ever seen a girl pee?

I've seen many girls say I don't yeah, I know. Let's check that porn history boy. Oh, no, I don't watch piss I'm sure you do. I don't watch piss. I'm sure you do nothing to piss I remember I was in high school and I saw a girl that I was like Dating pee on a sidewalk and I was like this is done It's not very graceful It's not and I don't mean and I know it's a double standard because I peed it all over the place But it just is it just is I've had bad experiences. Oh my god. Oh, I told you the story. What there was one time Where a friend of mine had called me and was like, hey

can you Wingman this for me real quick and I was like, okay so I come outside and There's this girl driving and her friend's in the back seat the girl who's driving is the one that my friend Wants to hook up with whatever I get in the back seat Quickly realized this girl's been drinking so I'm like I'm driving

So I kick her out of the front seat and I'm driving and then her friend needs to pee. Hmm It's 1 a.m So Where are they peeing? No piss. Yeah, where they get a pee? So she gets out And piss is publicly. Yeah And when she got in she was like, oh my god, it's all over my feet and I was like, I can't She peed on her feet apparently I mean it hit and when it's the pavement, you know, there's an explosion of pee pee on the pavement Yeah, I get that. So I was like, oh my god. I can't I what is going on here?

Like it was just like a lot and like that's probably like why I'm like Oh, I can't because it just ruined me that ruined me. I gotta stand. Yeah, you want to piss in the woods piss in the woods Go crazy. I'm not saying like that. I'm not gonna talk about it. But like At least find a patch of dirt. You're gonna hit the hot concrete. It's gonna spray everywhere I know I gotta hear you talking about piss and now I'm like, I think I smell it I know like I said, I know it's a double standard and women. I'm sorry. You're not winning this one Piss just don't pee Just hold it

No, I think you should piss Well, yeah, you'll get an infection if you don't pee. Is that true? They can get I've held pisses for At times that would be like shocked I don't think I've there there've been like three times in my life where I've been like, yo If I don't like I have to pee or I'm gonna get hurt Yeah, you said you pinch your penis, right? I do. That's insane. Let's just hold it. Yeah, I'm scared of that You do it. There was one time I was really upset about this I I had a shaker bottle like when I was like super into working out

And living by myself See the correlation there. Yep. Um I uh I had a shaker bottle that I was in love with and I was driving here from Connecticut when I lived in milford And I was like, oh man, like I have to pee in this And I it was a shaker. I never was able to find I knew one of those. I was so in love with it. You're doing just gonna wash it There was peeing it joe wash it. No, it was garbage It was fucking garbage. I don't know how I feel about that. I may have I may I could probably drink out of something

I pissed in after I wash it. Have you? I don't think so. It's a mental thing too. It's of course. It is It's not even just like I'm sure if I clean it. I'm sure if I clean it like piece sterile, isn't it? And it off a pisses stone. Oh, yeah, you're in drink a point I'm sure like I could like scientifically but mentally. Yeah, you were checked out. I was so far gone Unbelievable. There was no coming back. Well, that's it. That's lovely. That is. Where can I find you, dude? Oh, I'm sorry. I just what was that? I was gone for a sec Uh, f-alvers hit your rate five on twitter and on twitch if you want to come hang out with me Play some video games when I stream leave frank albert's on instagram

Uh, and then uh, go check out movie trivia schmo down. I'm a competitor and had my first match got that first win, baby Dubs and as soon as I got my next match, I'll let you know, but make sure you go follow them They're great people Yeah, and you guys can follow me at joe sanagato and go follow the show at the baseman yard on tiktok and instagram And our patreon patreon.com slash the baseman yard you get every episode a week in advance and you get an extra episode exclusively on patreon That didn't go as I planned and that is all we'll see you guys next time