The Basement Yard - #289 - Lil Nas X Banged The Devil
Episode Date: April 12, 2021Frank & Joe discuss Lil Nas X, the devil, and other things that we apologize for. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Transcript
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It's The Basement Yard, it's with Joe and it's with Frank, it goes really hard, yeah, yeah, thanks to you, new patrons, now I have Summon Cards, The Basement Yard, that was fun, that fucking nail, on the top, on top of the nail, someone's gotta put the fucking beat behind that
I took my time, I fucked a gun, what's it, fucked a gun?
That's not it
Women fucked guns, I've seen that
No, no, no
Yeah, sorry, welcome back to The Basement Yard
I know someone that might fuck a gun
No, who?
A friend of mine bought a Desert Eagle and is like taking pictures with it and shit
Oh, he fucked a gun then
He just fucking guns
Um, no, but I've seen a video
Oh wait, what was it?
No, nevermind, no, but I've seen a video of someone putting a gun into a puss
Nah
Yeah, didn't shoot it
What do you watch?
Then I watch it because I'm like
You're watching porn with guns
No, I don't watch porn with guns
Dude, you think, you know how like a Republican porn
Yeah, you know how like the NRA had their own TV channel
And it was like, NRA TV, we have fucking this beautiful stylistic handgun purse
Do you think they make NRA porn?
One hundo
Because they, yo, I swear to God, I saw this video and it's a woman
Welcome back to The Basement Yard, by the way, guys, hi
Yeah, so I saw a video of a woman, right?
She's laying back on a couch, she has short hair cut and she's smoking a cigarette
And she was like this?
Big bush
Well, I mean, the cigarette gave away the bush
She was like
And then this guy comes with a gun and he puts it in her shit
And then he's
Oh no
Yeah, with like a 9mm, just giving her the old
That's really like unsanitary, like I know like people say like
People clean their guns
But people, not enough to put it in there
It's still a fucking, what's it made out of, metal?
Yeah
What do you think, a gun's made out of plastic?
I don't know
Not plastic
I don't hold guns very frequently, as you can tell
Styrofoam?
That would be dangerous
One of those little pieces of break off, you're in big time trouble
Just want to say this, Styrofoam, one of the worst things ever created
Yeah, it's a bad idea
Hey, let's make a thing that if you touch it, it turns into 500 things
Dude, did I ever tell you about the time I came home?
So it was when Becca and I were in that apartment
And I came, her and Miles made a fort, cute, awesome
And she, I'm working on my computer and she goes
Come over here and I walk over
And Miles had gotten into Styrofoam
And she let it happen
And it was, I kid you not, it was like the fucking, it was like Christmas day
I love how you said he got into the Styrofoam
Like it's a raccoon and garbage
That's basically, yo, is this kid tore the Styrofoam apart?
I hate it
And Becca was like, hahaha, I was not happy
Because Styrofoam also, there's some magnetic shit with it
Yes, you can't like
There's some static, magnetic electricity
Styrofoam and glitter are the fucking worst pieces of shit
Glitter can suck a fuck
Put those people that made those in Guantanamo
Guantanamo, by the way
That's the girl version
Yeah, there's Guantanamo and Guantanamo
Right, for the women
Makes sense
Speaking of, we actually talked to one time on OPL to someone who worked at Guantanamo
We actually ended up taking the episode down
But we might put it back up in the future
But we took it down because we vetted this dude
But also didn't vet him enough to the point where we were like super confident
That he was 100% telling the truth
So we took it down
But, dude, some of the stuff this guy said was out of side of control
I mean, it makes sense
Like, Guantanamo has a reputation of being
I was like, you guys ever killed anyone over there?
And he's like, on paper, no
I was like, alright
That's a life, yes
When you respond with anything but just a straight no
When someone starts off their answer with on paper
You're like, whatever you're about to say, it's the opposite
Yeah, off the books?
No, we didn't
Off the books
It's the exact same thing
Yeah
It's the exact same thing
I wouldn't last in jail
I would not last in jail
Or prison
Or hell
We're gonna make a quick segue to Lil Nas X going to hell and fucking the devil
Dude, real quick
Well, there was no in-search
I didn't see any full-on in-search
I mean, not on TV
Not on paper
Yeah, there's gotta be an X-rated version
So if you guys haven't seen, it's, what's it called? Memento?
No, Montero
Montero, alright, I was close
Don't fucking judge me
I'm just saying
Which, Montero
Yeah
New song by Lil Nas X
Getting a lot of people very upset
Yeah, we just watched the video for the first time
Right before we came on the show
And catchy jingle
Interesting video
And then all of a sudden, a stripper pole comes out of nowhere
And this guy strip poles his way into hell
Strip? He's literally at the pearly gates
And then a pole comes up
And he goes, I'm going down there with all of my gayness
And gonna fuck that devil's head off
I'm pretty sure gayness is measured in ounces
And he took every fluid ounce of his homosexuality
Did you just burp in that?
I don't know how it came out so fluid
Yeah
He took every fluid ounce of that homosexuality
Straight into hell
They do measure gayness in ounces
And he's got gallons of it
He poured it all over hell
Took over, took over hell
I will say
Became the devil, became the devil
I was a little confused
Okay, so the video starts off with him
Invoking some sort of Adam and Eve type thing
Like he's in this horny dress up
He's in a very horny dress up
And there's a snake
There's a snake that is him?
A lot of, like, you know, I don't really know
A lot of metaphors
So then he kisses the snake
Wait, he slammed that snake?
He kissed just a...
Oh, oh, the snake was the person
The snake was a guy
It was a guy snake
I think you're talking about the other snake
No, no, no, so guy snake comes around the tree
And, like, lays him down
Yeah, gay snake
And just...
And they share a kiss
Yeah, but then he, like, licks his penis through his pants
Or whatever, didn't he do that?
I didn't see that
Well, you must have been doing something else
Trust me, I was parsing this video
As I was watching it in real time
I swear to God, he, like, kisses him
And then he, like, moves down
And he kind of, like, there's, like, a tongue
Oh, does he have a snake tongue?
No, just a regular tongue, but...
Yeah, one more time?
Okay
That's how snakes use their tongues
Let's retire that
Never do it again
And then he's in, like, a coliseum
Yes, he's in Greece
Yeah, and this dude's ripped up
Kind of jacked
Let's talk about that
First point of talk of conversation here
Lil Nas X clearly took that old town
Road money and made some fucking dumbbells
Yeah, this guy, you know, hired a personal trainer
This guy's kind of ripped
He, uh, kind of, he kind of looks good there
And I have to, from everything I've seen here
He looked like a little twinkie boy
But he came out full twunk
Yeah, well, let's not get fucking crazy
He's still twinkie
He's pretty ripped up
He's more ripped up than me
What the hell does that mean?
He's more ripped up than me, Joey
Yeah
I agree, Frankie
Thank you
That doesn't mean that he's fucking...
But I'm saying, like, he's, like, probably the same size as me
No, dude, he's small
But just small, man
No, he's got some cutting
You think what?
What?
I think shirts off
The only difference between Lil Nas X and I
Besides the pigmentation of the skin
Right
Is he's got cut-up muscles
Where mine are just hidden
I think, like, in terms of, like, chest size
And maybe bicep size
We're around the same
But mine has more flubber-flabber
I worry about your opinions
When you say things like this, it worries me
I don't think...
Look, all right
Because at one point you tried to convince me that you look like Idris Alba
And I almost had a conniption
I didn't...
I just...
By the way, what is a conniption?
You know, it's like, ah
It's just like when white people get really mad
Like, my grandma used to say conniption all the time
And I'm like, have a conniption
I don't even know what this is
Okay, it sounds good
I'm looking up Lil Nas X shirtless
And...
My algorithm is about to change
Big time
Lil Nas X
In these old pictures, he's small
He's a little boy
He is small
Like, he's a little boy
What are we arguing?
But...
But...
This guy's fucking the devil
We're talking about his chest
I mean, that was a pretty impressive chest
I'm just saying
And it's in the coliseum
I stand by, I think, in that shirtless scene
And he's wearing, first of all, outfits in this
A-plus
A-plus
He's coming out, he's got blue hair
Yeah, yeah
He's got blue lips, I think
Pink hair at one point
Kind of reminded me of Cisco
Cisco is up there
That might have been a thong song
Paying homage
What's that called?
Yeah, yeah
A node
A node to the thong song
Well, Cisco...
Cisco walked
So Lil Nas X
Could slide down that pole
Yeah, well, I think it's more so someone crawled
So the other one could walk
So you...
No
Cisco walked
Oh, I see
Normally, it's like they walk so they can run
Gotcha
You know, he ran down that pole
He slid down it
And then...
Sexily, too
Alright
Yo, also, I'm not...
Listen, I'm just gonna say this
And yes, you can take it how you want
I do identify as a straight white man
Cisgendered heterosexual male
Get mad at him
Guys got a fucking...
A fucking full bag of lunch in those pants
Let me tell you
What the hell was that?
He's walking around with a pot full of gold, alright?
The guy's got a sack of lunch in there
I'm like...
You know
Are we feeling...
Is he wearing a cup?
Yeah
Is he trying to be safe on the pole?
He bends over and you get a full poem
If you know what I'm saying
Haiku and all
Exactly
This guy
575
Look, okay
Alright
Let's say this
Mm-hmm
He is...
I identify as a heterosexual male as well
Mm-hmm
Why that?
Yeah
I know you do
If anyone moves like that
They've got my attention
If there was open tryouts
To play the devil
In that video
And I
Fell into the role
Which
You would play the devil because you're a white man
I don't think I'm big enough to play the devil
The devil's a big devil
That was a big old devil
Yeah, I don't think the devil's that big
Usually they show the devil and he's a little skinny
I think that's part of the character
Is that he's a little scrawny bitch
And that goes into why he's the devil
What?
Go on
Whatever
Um, but yeah
So Lil Nas X
He like gets down there
And he walks through hell
Back to what you were saying
He didn't see any demons
He didn't see any demons
Cause the demon
What people are taking in is that
Lil Nas X was the demon
Ah
And he was taken over
He did take over
He did go down there
All I'm gonna say is like
Yo, listen
Give them...
Yo
Boy
Can move
If music doesn't work out
He could
He could strip
He could
If he chose
If he wanted to be a dancer
It's his choice
It doesn't matter what it is
If there is something...
If anyone is moving that way on me
I'm gonna be very elated
To be there
Listen
If you watch the video
It doesn't matter if you're straight
You're gay
Or whatever the hell you are
Admire the moves
Just the guy's moving his hips
In a way that resembles a snake
And you know what?
It's just biology
That if you rub sticks together
Sometimes there's fire
Oh yeah
If you do it long enough
Oh yeah, that's friction baby
If you ever watch an episode of
Survivor Man
The guy's out there
What does he do?
He rub sticks together
Eventually
Bing bang boom
We got a fire
Yeah
You know what I mean?
I'm not saying that I was turned on
But I've watched other things
That have turned me off more
Okay
All I know is
Dude
Fucking
Lil Nas X went down there
Which
He goes down
If you watch his video
Yo, hell's very far from heaven by the way
And having to slide
He slid down there
No gloves
No gloves
That's gotta hurt your hands
Seriously
Grabbed it and just went down
Now you're
Well that's what he did
He just like
Yeah, he slid
I'm sure on his way down
He had to adjust
I'm sure
He had no gloves
I think he also did one of those
Where he like
Put the leg in
He put the
And like went down like this
Yeah
It looked better when he did it
Significantly
But yeah, you know, he's so
You know, people are upset though
They're like, yo, this guy
But he also came out with a sneaker
That has a
By the way, those sneakers
Super fire
I don't...
They're black sneakers to me
They're cool, they're cool looking
Yeah, I mean they're just
They look like air maxes
Yeah, just black and red
Yeah
And they have like a
A pentagram
A pentagram on it
Which...
And people lost it
And they're like, yeah
I haven't even seen a pentagram
Since like, you know
I've only heard about them
Because you hear about like that
The girl in eighth grade
Who's like weird
And she has candles
Don't they like do pentagrams
On their floor?
Yeah, the Wiccans
They're like
They're fucking
All about pentagrams, I think
That was Sylvester Stallone
I know that one
Sylvester Stallone the Wiccan
Yeah
Hey, ladies and gentlemen
I haven't like legitimately
Seen pentagrams since I binged
That entire box set
Of Viva LaBam
And it was a good time
Wow
He had pentagrams everywhere
Brandon DiCamillo was running around
Reykjohn and a pentagram
I...
Literally nothing
What you just said mid
Nothing...
I have no idea what you said
Reykj...
Are you talking about Pokemon?
No, no, no
That's someone from the show
Oh, okay
Yeah
Yeah, I don't know what the hell's going on
But you know what
I get it
I get that
You know, people who are super religious
Or like this is terrible
And you know, whatever
I just don't care
Not that I...
And I'm not saying that
He should have done that
And he should have like
You know, whatever
I also...
So like
My real opinion on this
Everything we said
In the beginning of this
True
Very real
Listen
Come on the show
Grind on the show
For us
So...
But let's get serious
No, but um
I personally like
Think it's weird
Or like, you know, whatever
When celebrities feel like
Oh, I'm gonna do this for like
Shock value
Or like this is like, you know
Whatever
Like you know, like
Not shock value
But more of just so like
Like you're antagonizing people
With this on purpose
To garner more attention
Like I think that's like
I'm not really a big fan of that
But also I'm not a big fan
Of people on the other side
Being like
Like being like
This is the guy
Who is in charge
Of your children
Like, oh, my children listen
All town road
They love the song
And now you put this out
It's like
Like it's his responsibility
Like you do
Kids don't have to listen to this song
Yeah
This dude literally has a lyric
In the song that says
Shoot a shot in your mouth
While I'm riding
But he also says
He's not talking about guns
Oh, no
Well, he's talking about a gun
All right
Well, he's talking about a shooter
There's also a line where he says
Like cocaine and drinking with your friends
It's fun or some shit like that
Right, yeah
This is the thing with this situation
And I think it also kind of
It works for other things
You know, in the stratosphere
That we've seen as well
Is when there is a community
Or a culture that has been oppressed
For so long
Or viewed as being gross
Or just, you know, basically
Unnatural
And then they simply try to just
Be themselves
And enjoy the fact that
They are acting like themselves
And able to do so without, you know
Possibly getting murdered
In the fucking streets
The opposition views it as antagonistic
And that's something that I've heard a lot
Dude, full transparency
No, I just mean
I went to a very, very, very liberal school
For college
And I remember one of the conversations
When, you know, in particular
You know, the LGBTQ plus community
Was becoming more comfortable
And revealing themselves
And living their life
It was always like
Oh, so now it's going to be in my face?
You know, and it's like
The heterosexual community
You being gay at me?
Yeah, they think that
Just because these people
Are trying to live the life
That they feel most comfortable doing
It is in a way antagonistic
And that's not the fucking case
And this video and this song
Is not the case
They're fucking
Well, I'm not referring to the gayness
I'm referring to
A lot of people are upset about the gayness
Well, yeah, I mean
I'm not even, you know
Be upset by the gayness
Gayness is staying
Gayness is in
But no, don't be upset by the gayness
Because it has no effect on you
No, I'm
Frankie, obviously
No, I see what you're doing
No, these people are
You're never going to change their minds
That's not what I'm talking about
I'm talking about, like, the antiquity
Antiquity
Antiquity, this is the girl we knew
When we were younger
Who was Greek?
Bringing it back to the Lil' Nosex video
The Colosseum
Well, isn't the Colosseum
Isn't that
I think there's Greek writing on that tree
That's Italian
I think there's Greek writing on the tree
I thought that was Hebrew
Oh, I don't think so
I've never seen a Torah in my life
So I don't know
But, no, I was referring to, like, the pentagram
And, like, you know, whatever
Like, fully leaning into it
Like, knowing, like, people are going to have
Yeah, like, people are going to have a problem with this
And, like, that's, like, the thing
But he said, like, the reason why
Like, he put out a tweet
It's actually very funny
Yo, by the way, that kid
Flames people on Twitter
He's so good at social media
Like, he has it figured out
Like, it's insane
He's a child of this generation
Yeah, but he's, like, a master at it
Like, he's going nowhere
Like, he's great
But, uh, he put out a tweet
Like, you know, growing up
A lot of people told me that I was going to hell
Because I was gay
And now that I went there, they were mad
Like, he's like, you know
That's fucking funny
But just so, like, and that was, like, the point, I think
It was like, people are, like, telling him
That he's going to go to hell
And, like, he should be ashamed
For this and that
And blah, blah, blah
And, like, he's in chains at one point
In the Coliseum
And, like, whatever
Um, and I guess sort of, like
Just leaning into that
And making it is whatever
And I remember we had, I just said it
After we watched the video
I'm like, there's something cool
About this dude
Being not only, like, outwardly gay
But, like, really getting gay
In the video
Like, you know
Until, like, he's wearing
Old Town Road was fun
Watch this next one
He comes out with wick
You thought riding on horses was gay?
Uh-uh
Ride the devil
This guy came out riding on the devil
And then broke his neck
And doing it in wigs
Yeah, wake up
And those giant boots
This guy
That reminded me of those Patrick Star boots
Remember that?
You wore those big, oh, I don't, I think I
Yeah, way to go bringing up a fucking
SpongeBob reference
You know
There's, like, 8,000 episodes, Joey
There is a part of me that, like, watches that
And, because I'm not one of those people
Like, yo, you can fucking put anything on
You know, in terms of TV or something
I'm not gonna feel personally attacked
And I understand that people will be like
Well, it's different when you have kids
That have to see that stuff
Honestly, honestly
Not the worst argument
But you need to then, like, be able to
Control what you show your kids
I do think that there's nothing unhealthy
With showing your kids
Fucking gay relationships in a healthy manner
But regardless if it was a, like
I wouldn't show my daughter
Or Miles right now
The music video for Dip It Low
Let alone the music video for Monterre
You don't remember that music video?
Is that?
Christina Millie, Yan Bing, Bing Ting
Like, I understand the argument
Like, yo, like, my kids shouldn't see this
But then don't fucking get upset at the artist
For doing that
Get upset at yourself
Dude, also, like
Fucking, 50 Cent has a song that says
Like, he'll melt in your mouth
Not in your hand
He'll take us
We're talking, come
And like, we're talking sperm
Dude, the fucking weekends out here
Winning kids' choice awards for songs
I can't feel my face when I'm with you
It's about cocaÃna
It's all about
Dat
Dat, drug done
Whoever edits this, put dat
Right there
As I fucking do this
Yeah
It's not gonna happen
No
I was, like, proud to see how gay it was
And it's like, do you, man?
Well, I was
Proud, I mean
Yeah, I was
Because it's like
No, I wasn't, it wasn't a sense of pride
I just thought it was cool to be like, you know
Like, just the contrast between
At one point, these people
Like, the gay community were like
Hiding who they were
And like, you know
Because they were afraid of getting beat up
Or whatever
And this dude's like, dude
I'm fucking
Throwing water on the gay machine
And letting it short-circuit
And fire off to 12
Let's also make sure we say this, though, too
He is someone who has the
Luxury of affording himself
A lot of fucking security
No, but I, no
And of course
But, like, the thing that
But what I'm saying is, like, it's
But being able to do that
And be like, yo, I'm fully leaning into this thing
And it's gonna be like
I thought it was just fucking, you know
It was dope
I was, I was fucking like
So it's catchy
It's catchy song
And no one's asking you to go
And, you know
Get as hard as Frankie got
When he saw the, you know, him on the pole
No one's asking you to
Hold on, hold on, hold on
No one's asking you
I never said, I never said
I got hard
No one's asking you to
Get that hard
All right
No one's asking you to do that
No, no, stop
Josh
Make sure you fucking
You just have to watch
A disclaimer at the bottom
Of what he's saying
I'm, it's so funny that I'm
As we're saying this
I'm saying I'm not getting hard
I'm getting a phone call
And my phone is
Going to town on my balls right now
I'm not getting hard
I am, but for a different reason
It's fucking hysterical
That
I lost it because of my phone
Your bone are real
No, I wasn't getting hard
I'm just saying like
There is something that is like
And no matter what
Close your eyes
If there is anything that moves
Like that, grinding up on you
You know exactly what I'm saying
Here's my thing too
If you are super religious
And you're like
I don't hate the kid
I don't like, you know, whatever
But it just bothers me
When people use that
And like they shouldn't perpetuate
Symbols of the devil
Or this and that
Like I understand that
But at the same time
Like just try to understand
Like the intent
I'm not saying that
You can't be offended by that
Like yeah, you can be offended by that
But to turn it into this like
You know, deeper issue
Like you have to know
The intent behind it
Like the intent of what I said
Because I watched an interview
From saying it
Of just being like
Being told that like
He, because he was gay
He was going to end up in hell
Or he was going to
You know do this and that
And then he's sort of
Just embraced that
And made this like creative
Music video or whatever
Like as long as you understand that
You don't even have to agree with it
And be like, okay, I get like there's
Like I get what he did
And he's not just purposefully trying to be like
Yo, the devil's sick
And like do that
Like there's a reason behind it
And like, you know, whatever
That's what understanding is
What isn't understanding
Is like seeing it
And just going
I don't care what the reason is
I don't care what this
And that it's the devil
And blah blah blah blah
My thing that I also struggle with is like
I think we've lost the ability
To just be like
Realized that like
Just because I'm upset by something
Doesn't mean everyone else is
Like there's blatant satanic imagery
In this fucking music video
And that's a parent
That's obvious
And that's fine
But like if I
And I can't
I can say this
Because I'm not super religious
Like if I was offended by that
I wouldn't be like
Now everyone else needs to be offended by it
Like it's possible that just
Like the realization of my thought process
And the way that I go about practicing
Or worshiping or whatever
Is not the fucking norm
Or not necessarily the norm
But it's not the consensus
Like you need to be able to just be like
Yo, it's not cool with me
Okay, you don't need a person like it
Alright, your reasoning might not be legitimate
If it's like it's too gay
I don't want to like it, that's stupid
But just fucking live in your own misery
And sorrow
And then eventually
When you can, just die
Jesus Christ
I was not expecting that at all
My thing is this though
Like dude, I understand that
People just don't feel comfortable watching
Gay things
Or watching things that have symbols
With the devil in them
And you know, you don't have to
And like you don't have to like it
You could be like
Yo, the song's trash
The video is trash
Like and the devil's shit is dumb
And like I just don't feel comfortable
Watching men grind up on each other
Like yeah, I'm not saying you do
I'm not saying you have to like that
Or that you have to, you know, whatever
But to be on the side of like
There was so many people just like
Saying like you're gonna burn in hell
You're gonna like
That to me is just so extra
It's like a music video
You know what I mean?
I love the idea that like people are like
This is how they're trying to spread the word
Of Satan and get our kids into Satan
You think if they're
I'm not gonna say that
You think the devil would be like
I know how I'm gonna get them
Lil Nas X
Yeah
Hey bud, wait till you hear this idea I have
You think that the devil's being like
Yo, I'm gonna put out a music video
Where I get fucking, first of all
Horny and murdered to like
Get your kids into like satanic rituals
And stuff like that
I don't think so
Yeah, I don't think anyone
Like I think that's like
I don't think anyone's trying to make
Yo, let's worship the devil
Also, if you do worship the devil
I don't even know what that fuck that means
Like what do they do?
I honestly don't know
I do remember
Like I had met a girl in college
She was a resident who
Practiced some form of
Like satanic ritual
But it wasn't like she was sitting there
And like fucking stabbing like bunny rabbits and shit
It was like the idea of
Like you do wrong by me
I do wrong by you
Which some people I for an eye
Fucking agree with
You know what I mean
How?
How?
How?
Hammurabi
Yeah
Fuck, don't quote me on that
Very close
Rumahabi
I said Hammurabi
Hammurabi
Yeah
But
Hammurabi
That's what the music video was trying to
That was the joke that I finished that on
Okay
But like
I think people just need to fucking chill out
Like I saw someone was saying like
You know
Oh
They don't realize they're a pawn
In trying to get the world to hate religion
It's like no one hates religion
Maybe
You know actually you back up
People do
Some people hate religion
Some people hate it
How about you just let people do what they want
And practice what they want
Yeah
It doesn't need to be an offensive thing to you
If people try to choose to do one thing over the other
That's the one thing about religion that I think
That people like
Some people I just
This is my opinion on it
I think religion is a very individual thing
Like even if you are
Go to the same church or someone
It has a different meaning to them
Than it might to you
And it might be something that you follow
Like way more strict than the person
Who's standing next to you every single Sunday
At church
So it's very individual
And like that's why
You know when people try to
Convince other people to join their religion
Or to whatever like
That feels more selfish
Than it does feel like
Genuine to be like
You know I want you to follow
The
What you feel is right for you
Like the word of Christ
Or whatever
I think it's more selfish
If you're like trying to get everyone to do it
Than
You just kind of being like
This is what it means to me
And this is how I'm going to live my life
And that's fine
And like I don't think anyone has a problem
With anyone's like personal beliefs
When it becomes like
If you don't do the thing that I do
Then you're wrong
Then that actually
That's people further away
And that's what I'm saying
Like that's the point
Like if you want to be like
Yo I am a follower of Christ
I am vehemently like
Don't appreciate like
Any like satanic and injury
That's on you
But then taking it the step further
And being like it upsets me
So it should fucking upset you
Like chill the fuck out
Yeah
No matter what it is
If someone tells me to do something like that
I'm not going to do it
Jurassic Park best movie ever
Watch it
I'm going to be like
Fuck you this movie sucks
You know
But if like
You can sit there
I know it doesn't suck
Okay I was going to say
What the hell
But it's just people
I don't understand
I understand why individuals
Can be upset about the music video
But don't try to get other people about it
And if you're upset about it
Call it what it is
Homophobia
Say you're upset because of how
Fucking openly gay this guy is acting
I don't know
I mean there was a lot in there
So I'm not going to even
I don't even
That's the thing
I don't even care about the reasons
Why people are upset about it
It's just like
What
We're going to forget about this
In three days anyway
What do you even upset about
That's a pretty dope music video
I have to say
Crush that
It looked expensive
It didn't look very
It's all CGI
All siege
You know what I mean
By the way
Real quick you mentioned Jurassic Park
Favorite dinosaur
321 Stegosaurus
Oh I was going to say
Velociraptor
That's a good one
That's a great one
Clever girl
Remember where the guy
The guns
Fucking corner him
And shit like that
Yeah
Like that's the only one
I'd be legitimately afraid of
Because that's the one
That can come into my house
Like a T-Rex
If I'm up here
A T-Rex down there
I'm fine
I'm okay
But like a fucking
Velociraptor can press
An elevator button
And wait
And then open the door
Just so we're clear
You just said
You're only afraid
Of Velociraptors
And not a T-Rex
I'm
If it was like
Be afraid of one
And not the other
Velociraptors
Because they're the ones
That can like come into your house
Like they can open the door
T-Rex you hide inside
And you're fucking good
Like they work off of
Icyton
Shit like that
So if I don't move
Those dumb idiots
Are gonna fucking forget
I'm there
Velociraptors on the other hand
You ain't safe from them
No matter where you go
Yo a T-Rex
Not nearly as tall
As I thought it was
Yeah there's like
All new science that's coming out
That shows that like
They're not like as big
They're like 15 feet
20 feet tall
They're like 12 feet tall
Yeah
But they can be 40 feet long
But yo 12 feet tall
That's double me
I'm not afraid of it
I could fuck that thing up
That's like the top of the backboard
Yeah
On a basketball hoop
But
That's the T-Rex
I'm over here thinking
It's like
Gotta walk by my apartment
And I'm gonna see its face
No no no
They're not that big dude
They're not that big
12 feet
I'm not that afraid anymore
Shoot it with a gun
That's what I'm saying
Yo we need to bring back dinosaurs
But velociraptors
They're fast
We should
And
They can like
Open a door
They have like thump
Well they got that
That pinky
That fucking wild pinky nail
Yeah yeah
Just like I did in middle school
Yeah Franky used to have a
He grew his pinky out
Which people who do cocaine do that
They do it
And Franky thought that was cool
And I did
And it got long
It actually got real long
It did
But
Dude the velociraptors
Did your mom ever find out about that?
Find out
She saw the whole process
And hated every second of it
Did she
She didn't know what it meant?
I'm sure she put two and two together
My mom grew up in Astoria too
She probably didn't think that
Her fucking ten year old son
Was doing that
Yeah I don't think she had to
Worry about me doing this
Uh
She was just being like
Oh that rap music
Again, rap music
It's coming full circle
Yeah
Growing out that
Velociraptors
Is what you have to worry about
Cause they're like pack
Nah fucking what's it called
Those are bad big
I haven't said anything
Pterodactyls
Oh yeah
Those are
But like
They don't fly up here
And don't
They can't open a door though
The pterodactyl
Six feet
Height of six feet
Wingspan of eighteen feet
That's the wingspan is the big part
Yeah that thing will blow you away
Dude a six foot tall
But you can lay low
And like you're good
Now you're fucking hanging out
In your basement
Watching movies and shit
And you go upstairs
And there's a pack
Of fucking Velociraptor
You're done
I mean lock the door
They'll fucking
They can pick the lock
No
They can't pick the lock
They can use it
No
They can use that pinky nail
No but
Yo I'm like
I legitimately shocked right now
I had a way different
You thought they were like
Godzilla and Kong running through here
Not that big
But like definitely huge
Like I thought like a fucking
A pterodactyl was like
A fucking dragon
Like the size of a dragon
I mean
Do dragons
Are dragons
Do dragons really?
I don't know but I did
Remember I told you about that thing
That girl at Build-A-Bear
She was like
They're the only animal
That like mythological creature
That like each
Like culture
Without talking to each other
Came up with by themselves
Dragons
Yeah
So maybe they were at one point
You also are getting that
From a random person at
Build-A-Bear
Which if it's not a credible source
I don't know what is
Right
You know
That's where I get my news
I wish dragons were real
Those are the ones I do wish
I don't wish for dragons
Not for now
Like I wish at one point they were
Keep them dead
Dude
Keep them dead
Can you imagine a dragon just flying over
And she could set the fucking city on fire
Whenever it wants
I
You know I always watch
Like cause I recently watched
Godzilla vs. Kong
And
I sit there and think like
Alright
Realistically
If one of those things came out
We would
Bomb that thing
The Timbuktu
We would kill it
We would kill it easy
Like a dragon came out now
We would be able to
Get rid of it
Yeah
But
Some people would pay the price though
It would
I mean you gotta
Some would perish
Can't make an armor without
Cracking a couple eggs
Yeah
Probably a couple
Yeah a couple eggs
There'll be a couple thousand eggs
In that
That pot
Also yeah
Like when King Kong
And fucking
Godzilla decided to fight
In Manhattan
You couldn't do this in Connecticut
I mean
Way too much money down here
That's right
There's a lot
And it's also
People forget Manhattan
Not big
Not very big
Not
Maybe fit five Godzilla's
That's a stretch
I would say
I would say three
I'm not real
Well I'm all off with my heights
And weights right now
You don't know
You can't tell
How big is this room
Oh
80 feet
I wouldn't even
Like 12 by 10
That's actually pretty good
Yeah I think
But I think I know that
Yeah
That's why
But whenever they fight
In these movies right
And there's like
Shit getting fucked up
Even though I watched the Avengers
The first one like recently
And I'm like yeah
The city's fucked
And then you just think about like
And then the war's over
And it's like
Who's paying for it
Like
And how does
We got to fix all of this
A lot of legitimate questions
Aliens
Yeah a lot of
Yeah legitimate questions
And set
And blew up all the fucking
I love that here's the girls
Just walk away like
Save the day
And they're just fucking
Trouble and fire everywhere
Yeah it's like
Hey Hulk
Maybe Hulk smash cement
And make the building
Nice again
Yeah yeah yeah
That'd be cool
Yeah instead of using that fucking
Prius to throw something
Like just use your fists
It's so crazy dude
Like I think about that
But
And then it's like
Eight months later
And everyone's still
And everyone's like good
And they're happy
Back to normal
Like dude aliens just came out of the sky
And attacked lower than half
I will say though
With like the Avengers
Like Tony Stark
With the like technology
To build like a fucking
Skyscraper in like 30 minutes flat
So I get that
But like these other like
Countries like in
Avengers Age of Ultron
They go to some
African country
And they just
Fuck everything up
And then they're out
Yeah
They're just like
Alright we solved it
Later
Yeah
Maybe fix things
Who's gonna clean up
Hammer a nail
At least one
Yeah Thor
Hammer some nails
Dude Thor would be able
To fucking do the whole
Job himself
You know
Yeah when you're right
You're right
I'm very right
All the time
I wish all that stuff was real
I do and I don't
Alright if you
Had three superpowers
Flight
Flight's one of them
Yeah
Okay
What's the other two
Super strength
Okay
And
I don't know
That's it
What do you mean that's it
What else do you need
I mean there's telepathy
Mind control
Super speed
I don't need any of that
Oh super speed's cool
Control of the weather
Control of the weather
Who does that
Storm
That's a great answer
You can shoot eye lasers
Storm's not a shit
Storm
She's got it going
Oh god
There's a lot
Like there's a lot you could do
So you would want to just
Fly at a normal speed
No I mean if you could
Fly
You want to fly
Yeah like Superman fly
Oh okay so fast
You also want super speed
Sure
Okay that'd be good ones
I would want
Like I want to be the smartest person ever
Like Tony Stark
Like smart
Like there's no limit to my knowledge
As a super power
You just know everything
Everything
That'd be fucking cool
That's one
And then
Oh I want some like Wolverine shit
So I could like
Regeneration
I get shot but I'm like
I'm chillin
You know just like suck the bullet in and just
Spit it out everywhere
Can you not ever do that again
I legitimately believe this part of this desk
Spit
Is all my spit in germs
I'd be terrified to bring a black light in here
What this would look like
That would actually be a good idea
It wouldn't
That would be
Really make me upset
Would it
Probably I'd be covered in everything
Everything about taking a black light to your room
You know my bed
I was going to say
You're covered in cum
You're covered in cum
Like you got cum everywhere
Yeah well wait why
You're probably just
First of all I remember
Uh oh
Here we go
Storytime ladies
I came
No well
I don't know about any specific times
You've come
But
I remember
As a kid
Not as a kid
It's like a young teen
Like 15, 16, 17
I remember going to your house
And next to your headboard
There were boogers
Oh big booger wiper dude
You were wiping boogies
Everywhere
Giant booger wiper dude
Giant
So next to your bed
Boogers alone
You got
You're lighting up
No I don't
I don't
But I would say that
Yeah I used to set it off
When I was like 12 dude
I was lighting up this nostrils
But
Yeah my bed would light up
Like a Christmas tree
I also had that same mattress
For so long
Yeah you've had that
For like 7, 8 years
Yeah I need to get
A new fucking thing
Cause it's like
Pieces of your body
In it or something
Yeah when the mattress
Is dirty
Then you got a problem
You know what would be disgusting
If you like
Wet a mattress
And then you just like
Rung it out
Oh I saw a wet mattress
On the side of the street
The other day
And I was like
That's fucking gross
It's sad
Makes me upset
It's like
There's no coming back
From that
Yeah
I remember
People like sell mattress
On like Craigslist
That's the one thing
I won't buy a second hand
That's out of control
Furniture and mattresses
I will not buy a second hand
And by furniture
I mean couch
Anything that you could
Which is anything
I guess
Which is anything
Looks like you wouldn't go
In Craigslist and buy a shirt
People do that
People also use Craigslist
To buy mouth
To buy butthole
To buy mouth and butthole
Yeah they do
What are you gonna do
Sometimes people need
To buy that mouth and butthole
Mine in Rome
Mine in Rome
You know
You gotta go for it
Let's get to the friends of the show
Do it
Before we get to the friends
Of the show
I want to let you guys know
That you can go to
Patreon.com
Slash the basement yard
We said 8,000 patrons
Thank you guys so much
Oh yeah
8,000 patrons
I'm gonna do an enema
And make a video of it
And I'm gonna put it on the
Patreon for the Patreon 2C
For only our patrons to see
Joey's gonna get cream pie
And finally you guys
Will be able to watch
And just so everyone knows
I'm not going to film
My asshole
I'm going
That's what an enema is
I think I'm gonna film
My asshole
Oh film
I think you said fill
Oh no
That is gonna get filled
That you're getting fucking
Filled up
Filled up
You're gonna be filled up
No I think my butt's
Trust me
You're gonna get filled
You're gonna feel
So scared
As soon as you do it
You have to hold it
You have to like
Tighten it up
I'm gonna like
Fill my face
While doing it
Good
Thank you guys so much
For all the patrons
8,000
We want to hit 9,000
We're still waiting for you guys
To let us know
What you think we should do
For 9,000
Patrons get access
To every single weekly
Episode a week in advance
So all those comments
That are like
Oh six days ago
How did that happen
Access to exclusive content
Patreon episodes that are
A bit crazier
Yeah
Than these weekly episodes
Which these get pretty
Crazy too
Even though the beginning
Of this one was kind of wild
Yeah pretty wild
But make sure you go to
Patreon.com
Slash the base of your
It makes a great gift
And it's good for you
It's good for everyone
Alright
Now to the friends of the show
First here we have
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Is online counseling
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Talk to a therapist
Or something
You can start with Better Help
They're great
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We have
What is this?
Native
Sorry
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Stress free way to keep your hair
And this is for men
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Will experience some form of hair
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But yeah
Half of all men experience ED
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To be honest half is a wild stat
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So go check that out
And that is all we have for tonight
That's always good
What is that face that you just made?
You know I like to see you happy
And just like to see you doing well
That's the difference between you and I
No it's
You actually recently told me
You were like
I'm just happy you're happy
And I was like
I don't think I've ever heard you say that to me
Why did I say that to you?
You were in your feelings
You were in your emotions
Where did I say that to you?
Here
We were talking about like
Something I remember
And you were like
Hey man as long as you're happy
I just want to see that
I don't remember that at all
Yeah because you don't remember the times
That you show support and emotion
Shut up
No you're not a very emotional person
You are, you know what
Actually
I'm mad emotional
Ah hold on
You're emotional when no one else is around
Like by myself
Yeah
No
Yeah
No I mean
There's a time and place
Sometimes I like to have
Very serious conversations with our friends
That doesn't mean that
You're overly emotional
I like to have serious conversations
Oh I don't think I'm overly emotional
I think that I'm a very emotional and sensitive man
You don't think I'm sensitive?
I think that you're in tune
With your emotions
But I wouldn't describe you as sensitive
No
Okay I'll take that
No
Are you sensitive?
I don't think so
I do think that I've
Since becoming a family man
Softened up a bit
Oh eight days ago yeah
No I mean
Hey
No
Like there are things that just
Hit me differently now
Like when I was watching
Spoiler alert
The WandaVision finale
Yeah
That hit me different
That hit me a little different
Cause I was watching it with my daughter
On my chest
At fucking 6am
I was also a little tired
You cried right on her little head
And I had to let a couple ring
You know let freedom ring
And the freedom was those tears
Is it ring
Or rain
That one
I don't know
It's rain
Let it rain
But freedom can ring too
It can ring
What's the problem with letting freedom ring
I don't even know how
It would do that but
No problem at all right
Oh
So the Yankee game is already
In the like in the books
Not in the books it's not done
But it's like
It's almost
Wow
It's like
It started like an hour ago
Yeah
Do you want to
Joey had a bet
In the Yankee game by the way
I bet the Yankee game
And then we started
This podcast
So I bet that
No one was going to score
In the first inning
And do you want to know
If you hit your bet
Doesn't look like it
From your face
Actually you did
Let's go Joey
Let's go
Come on on the baseball season baby
Let's go
The Yankees are currently up to one
Did they score in the second inning
They did
Oh
Yes
They snuck that one out
They did they did they did
I almost bet that it was going to be
Under four runs
By the fourth
Eat your heart out world
Gary Sanchez homered
Right in your fucking throat
Right in my fucking face
Oh man
Oh man
You know what you can do with that money
That you just won Joey
You can go buy weeds
Weed is legal
This isn't weed
Are you going to buy weed now
Weed is the recreational marijuana
Has been legalized in the state of New York
Yes
As of what
What day
Two days ago
Oh it's like ready to go
Like right now
Oh no you can't
Like there's not dispensaries
That's going to take like a year at least
Oh well of course
Yeah
But I'm saying like
Now people can be like
Yo I got weed
Or is it controlled now
See these are all questions I had
That I'm not really sure of
I know that there is some sort of
Decriminalization
I mean I think it has been decriminalized
But like
They like sponge
Like convictions
Yeah from your record
If it has to deal with
A certain amount of like
I mean obviously if you have
Fucking ounces and ounces
Of fucking weed
Pounds
Yeah
You have bricks of weed
You're probably going to go to jail
Johnny Depp
In that movie below
Oh I was going to say
What did he do
No I don't know
You know there's some stuff going on
Sorry are you going to
I know him and Amber heard
They
She's like trying to take his fingers off
And shit
Not really a good couple
Yeah just separate them
Like you know how like kids back in the day
Be like you go in that corner
You go in that corner
Work on yourselves
Speaking of
That
I took my dog to the dog park the other day
First time in a very long time
Because I don't really like taking my dog
To the dog park because he gets like
Fucked
Well attempted fuck
Oh like
I thought you meant like
He gets like beat up
No
He gets like
Well they try to beat up his butt
And his face one time
They try to fuck his face
Dude two dogs
Try to eiffel tower my dog one time
And I was like
I have to do something
Proud
Proud papa needs to step in
Charlie's like a big boy
He is he's lanky
But he's like a softy
And he's just kind of like
You know and he'll like
Fight dogs off or whatever
But like
He's also like too nice
Oh so he'll be like
He's too afraid to say like
No please don't sodomize me
I can picture him being like
Guys I just
George
I just don't think this is like
The best
It's like you're getting
Come on
So I brought him
The other day
To a dog park
And
Dude we were there two minutes
And immediately
There was these two dogs
That had
Both had giant balls
Okay
Sacked up
Magga potatoes
And
They started fighting
One of them was like a pit bull
Oh
Yeah so he
That pit bull could
Fuck people up
I'm sure he's a nice dog
But he has the ability
To fucking go crazy
We all do don't we
Um no
Okay
So
So they were fighting
And then like
He
One of the dogs ear
Got like bit
And was bleeding
And it was like
Why was that my reaction
Oh
Yeah so I was like
What the fuck is going on
And then I was like
You know what
I'm never coming back here again
My dog's getting banged
There's blood
And like
I just can't
Like I was just terrified
I mean yeah
That sounds pretty
Yeah
He almost got fucking
He almost got gang banged
Yeah
And my dog like
They started fighting
And then he just turned around
And he looked at me
And he ran over to me
And he's like
We gotta go
We gotta get the fuck out of here
This is the party
Dogs at the dog park
These fat bald dogs are fighting
Those are some big balls
Probably
Yeah
Cut the balls off
That's why you cut the balls
No I didn't know that
But back to weed
Are you gonna become weed Joe now
Um I
I fully plan on
Uh
Dabbling
Not being like
Ha ha ha
What's that
Like
Ha
What level
So are you gonna be
You know
At the
Uh
Occasional
Uh
Marijuana toke
Or are you gonna be like
Full weed socks
Oh
Absolutely not
You're not going weed socks
No
Posters of Bob Marley
Oh
Come on
You're not gonna get
You know what's funny
All those people
You know what's gonna go out of
Business
All those people that have
Like the poster
The poster business of
Legalize it
Yeah
They're just gone now
That's man true
All those bumper stickers
Those companies are like
Damn it
God damn it
You know
It's like
Fucking half their business is gone now
Legalize it
That's so fucking funny
Now they're gonna start doing
Something
We legalized it
Or we did it
I just like
No interest in like
I'm more so interested in like
The pens
Oh
You want to go with the oils
Yeah
I'm sitting here and talking
For people who don't know
Me and Frankie don't
We've never smoked weed
Well I have
Oh you have
Yeah
When I was in Maine
What was that
October
Good for you
Becca recently asked me
She's like
Joey ever smoked weed
I was like
I don't think so
But I feel like you would have told me
You didn't tell me
Because you're afraid you little bitch
What
You gave in
You gave
We had a pact
What was it like
I don't know
I love how we're talking about this
Like we're fucking virgins
Like what did it feel like dude
We're 28 and 29 year old men
That was a lot
I've never smoked weed
Yeah
I've never been high
I mean I've had pills
Because I was on surgery
I've had pills
But like
So walk me through it
What happened
Well I was also drunk
So you don't really know
What the effect was
Yeah I don't really know
I do remember though
At one point
I was like
Whatever I was fucked up
And I was just
I was standing out there
And it was like
Me and Marco
Marco was
Oh he's cute
So
At one point I was like
Dude
I'm completely sober
And then everyone laughed
So hard
Because obviously I wasn't
But I like
Thought I was for a second
Yeah yeah yeah
And then when they started laughing
Yo let me talk to the stream
Hold on
Hold on
So like
When I said that
And they all started laughing
Then I started to realize
Like how
Wrong I was
Okay
And then I like
Fell asleep at a table
Wow
Remember that thing
Where it was like
Yo the first time you smoke weed
You will not get high
The second time
Highest in the world
I don't remember that
You don't remember that
People used to say that
All the time back in the day
You don't know how to inhale
Alright
Yeah
I love how
Like
Basically having sex
And smoking weed
Were like the same
Symbiotic
Basically
Right
And it was like
Really
Well if you want to learn
Your first time is not going
To be great
It's the second time
Hold it in
Last longer
Damn that's mattress
Yeah
Oh so you're going to become
Weed Joe now
No I'm not going to become
Weed Joe
Guys the new episode of
Keeping it Frank is right in
Itself let me tell you
Let me tell you
You're going to walk in here
One day I'm like
I got some purple haze
Yeah that's exactly what's
Going to happen
Is you're going to have
Fucking weed delivered
From fucking a little
Dispensary in Brooklyn
This is from
This right here
Is from the Andes
This is donkey tits
Yeah
Like that's exactly
What's going to happen
I would love to go
Into the cannabis industry
Just so I can name things
Oh I would be so good at it
Oh
Like that's scene in Ted
Where it's like
It's coming it's coming
This is called autism
Yeah
I would be so good at it
Oh god
So this is what we have to
So can I be the first one
To buy you your first pen
Or did you already buy it
No
Where am I going to buy it
Dude it was
On Amazon
You can't just buy weed in the mail
Now this stuff is going to be
Fucking like regulated
Like that's the thing
Oh yeah
But it's going to take
Like I think it will take
They say two years
I think it's going to be a little
Earlier than that
When do we see the first box
Of Marlboro greens
What the fuck is
Oh oh
Because you know that's
Like that's what
Those cigarette companies
I wonder how the cigarettes
Companies still
I wonder if they still make
I think I'm sure
To an extent they do
Yeah
But like they will evolve
To a place where
They are now do
And like that's the thing
Is like back in the day
People would smoke tobacco
And I know tobacco pure
Tobacco is not good for you
But like now people
To smoke cigarettes
You're smoking fucking rat cum
And you know
Gorilla sneezes
And like you know
Fucking black tar
That's what's going to
Happen with weed
Like all the people
It's going to become like
In like 50 years people
Like you don't know what
Real weed is
What you're smoking now
Is made of you know
PVC pipe
I don't know
I don't think so
Why not
Because I think
That would just change
Everything about it
I don't know
I mean not that I know anything
Well when you can
Regulate it and tax it
Which is probably
What's going to happen
Especially in all places New York
I don't know
I think it's going to happen
I don't think you're going to
Smoke PVC pipe
Well I mean basically
What's in cigarettes now
Cigarettes are like
I don't even know
You know it's like
Fucking like
Mesothelioma balls
You know just like
Wild shit
It's crazy too
Because like
I don't
What is appealing
About the cigarette
Honestly
Personally
That's the exact same
Approach I have to
Weed
Like what's appealing
Being high
At least there's that though
Some people get a high
From cigarettes
Who?
People
I mean
Certain things
Make no sense to me
And it's like
The cigarette
Just doesn't make sense to me
Like I know some people say
It's like an anxiety thing
Or like it's like
Oral fixation
It's like I get that
Like after doing it
For a while
That you just have these
Like muscle memory
Sort of things
Yeah
But like
To start
Is it just like
It looks cool
I think it's the
Cool factor
Because it work
Look
That's why you smoke cigars
Well also
Because cigars
Have like a taste
Like no one has a cigarette
Yeah but
Delicious
Yeah but no one does that
You smoke a cigar
And go
Oh
Yes
You're a freak
No I am not
That's what like the cigar game is
It's like
Yo this is a fucking
I've smoked cigars with you
And they
Taste like mulch
No
Cigars taste
Cigars taste really good
But that's what I'm saying
Like in all the people
That I know
That have smoked cigarettes
No one is like
I do it for the taste
Everyone that smokes a cigarette
They're like
This sucks
This sucks so much
All of my clothes
Are gonna smell like this
Yeah
I remember
I knew someone that would
Smoke only
I love that thing
It's like I only smoke when I drink
It's like fuck you
You smoke
But you have a
Problem there as well
Yeah
So it's all the time
And they were like
I would wake up
They said that they would
Wake up the next morning
Feeling worse from the cigarette
And they would the drinking
That's wild
Because I feel
Sometimes I wake up
After drinking
I'm like
Let's never do that again
But now
Imagine with a cigarette
Doing that
I can't even
I can't
The thing about weed too
Is like
It seems like a lot of work
Just to feel like
A little like whoa
Right
And that's why I have like
I'm like
You wanna go the easy route
Yeah I'm very lazy
You know
So I just wanna be like
Be able to pick something up
I'm like
And I'm a little high
I don't wanna fucking
Yeah
Oh let me
I have to fucking
Papermission
I have to do origami
Basically
You basically do
And my favorite is like
Full transparency
Don't know the difference
Between joints and blunts
You don't know
But like when people like
Unwrap a fucking cigar
And then they're like
And they're fucking
Spitting on it
Breathing on it
And rolling it up
And like
Smoke what I just
Fucking basically
Ran through my ecosystem
Yeah
It's like what's wrong with you
I don't want that
It's gross
It's funny
It is fucking gross
I just don't want a lot of work
That's why drinking was so easy
It's like
Here's the thing
You open it
But drinking is also
Like for taste
You know what I mean
Yeah
But it also like
But also
Not
I don't know if you just noticed
I was like this for like
Five minutes
I don't know what's going on
Maybe I need a weed pen
Yeah
It's gonna need to relax
Your shoulders
Give me a weed cigarette
Get this kid a weed cigarette
Put some THC in your shoulders
No
But like that's the thing
Like people are always like
Well you won't smoke weed
But you'll drink beer
And it's like
Beer has a taste to it
And I'm sure weed does too
And again I'm coming from a place
That I have no fucking clue
About weed at all
Yeah
But
I think it's just like
I've been like
Fully brainwashed
Into being like
There's no point to weed
But there's a point to alcohol
Right
And I'm very much
So a product of that
Fucking brainwashed
Right
And I'm okay with it
But that's what I try to explain to you
It's like when I was younger
I was like
If I smoke weed
I'm not gonna be as fast
Yeah
And it's like
All I cared about was sports growing up
So I was like
I won't be fast
I could only imagine
Did your dad ever tell you
Like not to smoke weed?
No
My dad never told me anything
Okay
Like literally my dad never
Like I never had to talk about sex
Condoms
Nothing
Oh okay
Nothing
I never had that actually either
Funny you say that
No one's ever been like
Hey don't do this stuff
But we were always like
Very against it too though
We were very much so like the people
Like
Yo you're smoking weed?
Yeah
You're fucking
That's it
You're dead
Yeah
Well no
Not you're dead
But also like
I just
I associated with
Just being like
Like we were like
10 to 13
I would say that was like
Prime age of being like
I don't want to hang out
With people that are like
No
Smoking and drinking
I would say from like
I would say like
14 to like
18, 17
No
Cause once I started drinking
I was like
No drinking
Yeah I was fucking all about drinking
No I'm saying like
Even when I started drinking
I didn't like care
Like care
This is the thing too
And I think that definitely shaped me
Into the person I am
We
So
If you guys haven't heard stories
There was a kid in our neighborhood
Named
Finn
That we hung out at his house
And yo
I don't know how
No one was ever home there
So it was like
It was a trap house
Before a trap house
But like
It was like a nice trap house
Except there were dogs
Like bags of dog shit
All over the place
And
Our friends would go there and smoke
I don't know what you're talking about
Why?
I don't know
I don't know
I was gonna say like
Around like
Some of our friends that would smoke
They would
Frequently
Just look
Like idiots
They'd look like
Like shit
Like they would look
Like they were sick
And act so like
Out of their element
That it was like
Wow
I like personally saw that
It was like
I don't want to be a part of that
I don't know
For me it was like
More so like the sport
The sports
I don't know
Joey's afraid of this conversation
For some reason
He'll tell me that word
No I'm not afraid of this conversation
I'm just saying like
To me it had nothing to do with like
The way that people looked
I didn't really like
I'm not saying to you
I'm saying personally for me
Oh yeah
Personally for me
Like I remember
There was one night in particular
That like one of our friends smoked
So much weed
They turned like green
It was like
Yo what the fuck is happening
And I always said to myself
Like I don't want to be there
And it was like
I know this is probably
Coming from a place of
Like I was being judgmental
At the time
Which whatever
Who gives a fuck
But like
I would see that
And be like
I don't want to be
The person that people could
Pass judgment on that easy
You know what I mean
And then I grew to not
Give a fuck what people think
About me
And now you're dead
Look at me now
And now I'm a fat fuck
Now you have
Now you have a
A Rocko's modern life hat
Sup
That you bought at
Fuck I shouldn't have told you this
Spencers
God damn it
Guy went into a Spencer
Oh
Fuckin' tell me about your job
At Universal Studios
You fucking loser
Careful throwing stones in that
Glass house of yours
I bought this in Disney like a world
No you didn't
You bought it at Universal Studios
Yeah
Can't even get your
Fuckin' parks right
Well it's
They're all part of it
I'm not proud about the fact
That I went into a Spencer's gift
At the ripe age of 24
And bought this
But I did
Wow
Hey man
Sometimes you live
And you learn
So that hat's got some mileage on it
A couple years
A couple years
It's the colors that really got me
You know I'm a color flashy boy
Yeah okay
Yeah
And then on top of that
I saw Rocko's modern life
I was like that's pretty cool
Never watched it
What?
Never got into it
Yeah it was alright
Wasn't into it
It was cool
Didn't like it
You probably check it out
On Paramount Plus
Didn't get into it
Oh man
I can't wait
By the way
Something else I'm adding
To keeping it Frank
As you told me on Monday
During my stream
That you threw out all your silverware
And got new silverware
And now my spoons
Not all of them
Not all of them
You just threw out a handful of spoons
Instead of washing them
85% of my spoons
What was wrong with them?
They couldn't be washed
They probably could have
But it's more of a mental thing
Okay
When I dropped my toothbrush
On the ground in my bathroom
And bought a new toothbrush
Well that makes sense
Because you're a millionaire
So we talked about a couple of things
A million
You mean a billion?
A billion?
What are you insane?
I know Joey
A couple of years ago
That was bad
Because you showed me
How bad it was
I opened your dishwasher
And there was mold
Like everywhere
In my dishwasher
You don't remember that?
No
At your old place in Long Island City
In my dishwasher?
Yeah
Yes
But in the sink
No
In your dishwasher
You had left food
You didn't wash the sauce
Or anything off of it
And then
I remember opening it
And there was fucking fur
On your plates
And I was like
And then you told me
Like I just threw it all out
And got a new one
And I made fun of you for that
But these
No fur on them right?
No
They could have been washed?
Probably
It's more of a mental thing
And I'll be honest with you
Right
I'm for the most part
When it comes to
The laundry
But with anything else
Like I'm pretty clean
And like I keep things organized
I'm not really good with dishes either
But like
I've been better with it
But there was the time
Where the reason why this happened
Was because I went to Vermont
And I was like rushing
To get out the door
And as I was leaving
I was like
Fuck I have shit in the sink
Or whatever
And then I just had to leave
Because they were waiting for me
Downstairs
And then when I came back
I'm like looking at it
And I'm just like
I can't
Please walk me through
Like why
I just feel like
If there's mold on it
Or if there's like
This whatever on it
Like yeah you could clean it
You could put it through the
You know whatever
But I'll still have it in my head
Of like
This could
I don't know why
But I feel like it still can make me
Like I'm
Dude you should see me
Like make chicken
Oh I'm very very anal
With making chicken
I wash my hands a thousand times
Which is what you're supposed to do
If I forget
Which plate
Or which fork
It's all in the garbage
All of it goes
And now I throw it away
All of it goes to the dishwasher
That's why I use a lot of paper plates
For like stuff like that
Like I am like
And that's just how I am
I'm like oh if I forgot
Like is this the
Cup that I used
Is this the
Oh
And then I just
Dude I've always made fun of
For like how I
Approach cooking chicken
Or like even turkey
Because poultry
For those of you guys that don't know
Is the most susceptible
You need to cook it at the highest
Temperature in order to burn off
All the fucking
You know bacteria
That's a scientific
For ya
Don't know what I just said
That's a scientific
But I'm like that too
Dude if I like
If I use this knife
To cut the chicken
It goes in
It gets washed immediately
And then I wash my hands
I sanitize the whole fucking station
I am very very anal about
Like cooking
Yeah I
I don't know
That's one of my
Like fears is biting into
Raw chicken
I've done it
No
Not on perp
Not like raw chicken
No shit not on perp
Not like raw chicken
But chicken that I thought
Was I cooked
And then I bit into it
And I was like nah
Oh well then
That's a part of
Partially raw
Yeah
That's gross
Oh yeah
Where was this
When did this happen
It's like happened
In my travels
What are you
A fucking nomad
In my travels
I've been to a raw chicken
There's that one video
I remember
A picture I remember
Seeing on ebombs world
In like 2005
And it was someone
Bit into a McChicken
And it was just raw
Oh god
Which I don't think that's
Even possible
Because they come probably
Frozen and cooked
Yeah
But oh man
Something happened
Grossness
Yeah
Let me tell ya
Anyway
I think we can wrap this up buddy
Alright okay
Where can they find you
FAlvors8085 on Twitter
And on Twitch
If you want to come
Hang out with me
And play video games
Joey joins me every now
And then when he's feeling generous
And forgets that I'm streaming
And the Frank Alvors
On Instagram
If you want to go
And hang out with me there
I just spoke to Joey
About doing some cool stuff on there
Hopefully soon
So
Make sure you check that out
And then go check out
MovieTriviaSchmodown
Where your boy is a competitor
One of the usual suspects
I won my first match
Hopefully if I get another match
I will fucking win that one
Because if I don't have it
I'm gonna scream
And go check out the Patreon
Patreon.com
Slash the Basement Yard
Yeah
And you guys can go follow the show
On TikTok and Instagram
At the Basement Yard
And
Yeah
The Patreon
Patreon.com
Slash the Basement Yard
To get every episode a week ahead
We're trying to hit 9000
In this next month
If we can do it
We're gonna think of something
Fucking crazy for Frankie to do
Well they said that they're gonna
We want them to think of what
We can do for 9000
Yeah
We're gonna try and figure something out
Alright so
That is all
See you guys next time
Bye