The Basement Yard - #290 - Let's Go To A Rave
Episode Date: April 19, 2021Frank & Joe discuss what it would be like to go to their first rave and then violently fight about early 00's R&B Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome back to the to the don't have don't you ever do that? Oh, no
Oh, why you don't own muscle Joe doesn't want to come back out muscle Joe. I'm a little twinkie girl now
You are a little twinkie boy since you started becoming marathon Joe. Look at my hair. I'm very I'm you know
I'm leaning in yeah, oh
Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, you got a haircut yesterday. Well, uh, yeah haircut. Yeah weekly you got a weekly
I don't buy weekly. Nope three weeks now. We're getting warm
Okay, we're around there by the way, is that a white shirt or a pink shirt can't help me
You tell me I think it was a white shirt that you threw into the washwood other stuff
And now it's pink very close that actually happened in one of my basement yard shirts
Which you can go to the Santa gato store. Oh, wow
That's it
I'm not flexible dude. You need to get a bit you'd be a better runner
You'd be a better runner if you got a little more flexi
Why am I gonna be running and hyper extending my legs?
When you got to run and do that split that part of the race, you know, you know how cheerleaders are able to be like
Oh, wow, that's kind of yo, those are fire socks. You like them, right? Yeah talk about it
That's like a like a cool like that would be like a
Like a rave spider-man
Oh, you know what I'm saying? That would be a nice cool spider-man. Just never go to a rave
I
Think the closest thing I've been to a rave is is a pool party in Vegas. What's a rave though?
What is a rave? What makes it a rave is it's because there's festivals and then there's raves
What is the definition of a rave like a raving review?
No, well, no, well those are different things
I'm talking about a rave term. What is but what's the actual definition of the word rave?
Yeah, to do that. I don't know. No, but I'm saying like in terms of the like what makes a
A concert or rave. I think if you're gonna have a rave, then you need to have
Drugs, well, that's every concert. You need to have
titties every concert
Except for the stickers to sticker titties. Oh, what are those pasties?
I I didn't know what they were called or patsy
Patsy's let's just go with the pats. I think that's just an Italian restaurant. I ate at once in the city
Probably, yeah, it was good. I'm sure I had too much mozzarella cheese got home. I almost passed out that bad
Yeah, I had sweat. I was sweating. I love rave attire because it's like yo
We're gonna make clothes, but they're not clothes. Yeah, you everyone just looks like a gay fisherman
You know what I'm saying like everyone goes there and it's like yo fishnet
But it's neon green and I got stickers and like I got like it always has like a bat girls are out there like
Yo, I'm gonna wear a bra, but it's gonna be just the string around the boob
Yeah, it's it's a bra, but it's made out of recyclable materials. Yeah. Yeah
Basically if it rained there everyone would everything would just wash off. It would be so weird
It's like biodegradable. Yeah, and then yeah, they get the like it's like, you know flower
You know bedazzled tits bedazzled nippies. Yeah, what is that? It's a good old bedazzled nippy now
What happens if you got a nipple piercing? Do you need to like cut out a pocket for it?
Well, I think you just take it out
Actually, if it's new you can't take it out because that's how it gets affected. All right, close this up
I don't know anything. So like, yeah, I know you don't
All right, I'm I have nipple piercing. Yeah, I'm also
You ever suck on a nipple piercing? No. No, I have I sucked on one once. Have you? Yeah
I thought it was gonna be sick. I knew someone. I knew someone that took it out with their mouth accidentally. They like
They like pulled out like a fucking like chicken bone. Were they breastfeeding? Why were they sucking on it?
That was gonna be my question. So I got nipple piercing. Yeah, which way?
Well, it depends your style. I don't know. Okay. So let's say this way. Okay, cool bar. Okay. Yeah
Now I give birth
And I got a breast feed
Well, is it like coming out every other? Yeah. Yeah, really? Yeah
So you got like triple action on that bitch. Well, I think you just it would be like three holes
You have the normal nipple hole and so what happens to nipple piercings when women give birth
I think you got to pop those things out. You know, you know, yeah
You're you know, you know, it's coming
Like the baby sometimes there are people there are stories of people that don't know that they're pregnant
Yeah, there's like eight of them in the world. Well, it happens one of them is mary and mother of god pray first
There's not the other death. Amen. Amen
So what makes a concert a rave like at what point I
Glowsticks are a must I think it needs to be indoors and very dark because if it's outside
It's a festival if it's indoors in a basement, it's a rave
Okay, and it has to be like illegal like a prohibition right the rules down frankly put that down right now
This can always be some right shit down. Okay. So indoors indoors dark basement
And there's like apartments a lot of neon lights. Well, yeah, man. Okay, and like there's always one girl who's like
All the people who have the gloves at the it's what a fucking asshole, dude
I we got some Becca got some for miles for fucking Christmas and his stocking. What rave gloves. Yeah
It's like, hey, man, here's some rave gloves and mdma. Yeah, just take it kid
No, I remember the good old days where they would put the one stick in between their fingers like this and just and they were
Those were the those were the good old days. That was not terrible. I kind of knew it. I just like warming up like I was a picture
Raleigh fingers over here
I think that fish hunter. I think it's also the type of music that's played
So like oh, you can't rave to like fucking bluegrass
It needs to be like trend. Well, that's the thing too because I think at festivals
It's like straight edm. I think
Like it needs to be like that but at a rave, there's a mix of that but there's also that like trance music that makes
Pancake
Pizza
I could do that for a long time
But like it's not just yeah, it's like like it's like a mix of like electronica and pink floyd
You say electronica. What is that? It's a song that sounds like a city music type or something
That's like a like a like an electronic city in japan. I'm pretty sure yeah
It's from a movie. I've seen like pacific rim too
Yeah, but like you need some like trance music every once in a while that makes it makes women like you know how like
Yo, sometimes white women who are like go to raves overreacting
Not that they're overreacting, but they act like they're a bit. Yeah, dude. Yes
You know, it's like y'all are you like on drugs or is like well that is you're so leaving like and I think they think that
I think it's both. I think they think they're connected with the stars in that moment. They're like
No, you just gotta like feel it and you're like, I hate you. I've never
So I've never done drugs. We've discussed this ad nauseam. Joey now is a big drug head
I have never been in a place in a in a plane of existence
Where I've moved my body to like match my feeling
And I don't know what I would have to like people are like on shrooms and they're like
Yeah
Yeah, you move like a starfish. I'm pretty good. You ever see a starfish like
Kind of just or is that no, I'm thinking octopuses, dude
Do very different animals. Can starfish even move? I think they can but they're just like
They gotta wait for like a like a way. Yeah, like a like high tide. Yeah
I almost called them star star use because I'm thinking pokemon close enough. Yeah
Uh, yeah, no octopuses though. They move like that. Yeah, I'm a pretty good. I'm a pretty good jelly boy. You know like
Yeah, yeah
Why have cuts all over you did you fight on your way here?
Do you have cuts all over your hands?
I was gardening
And I was taking care of my lawn. Oh, dude
I know I full dad. How hard are you gardening? You're like very fucking
We got it like I had to like get like those like
Ugly-looking rakes, you know the ones that not the ones that are like, you know butterflies the ones that are like this
I
I don't know what the hell you're saying. It's it's a small. It's like they got teeth. It's like I know what rakes are
Yeah, but I don't know different types
There's like the wire rakes the ones that are bigger and like you use for like leaves and then there are other ones that you use to like
Get rid of like the dead grass in your yard. Okay, and that's what I was doing. Those are the mean ones. Yeah
Yeah, and I got some blisters. I got some cuts. Why?
It's not an easy task
Oh, yeah, it's not it takes a lot of work. Oh, yo gardening is dangerous
It can be
They fucking can be and there are some weeds that have little like prickly sticks on them
That can hurt they can get you I
I have a cactus and I got a thing in my finger bothered me for like six days. Oh, yeah, and did you rip it out?
Uh, no, I just my life just kind of move forward. Hold on
So you didn't take it out. I tried I couldn't get it out. Oh that deep
It was kind of no it was kind of like when you get a hair in your mouth and you just can't get it
And eventually you're like I'll just drink a bunch of water and swallow this
Oh, yeah, yeah, that sucks. But I I couldn't get it out of my finger and I was just like and then I get mad
I got really mad and I started hitting my finger like fucking
Let's get mad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I like that. Just beating your meat. Yeah, you ever
Jerk off mad angry or you ever jerk off and be like, I need I I am gonna do this as fast as possible
You ever do that? I mean, I'm sure I did when I was younger, but I can't but you ever just been like
Like just like me. I've never done it either, but I know people have I'm just saying
There are people that like want to hurt themselves like for sexy things and belts. Yeah, people are like, oh, I'm just gonna
Fuck a shit. Fuck a shit. Fuck and jerk off when they say stuff like that sound like Joe Pesci in Home Alone
Fuck you
Yo
Sometimes like I would say every eight months
There's a video that goes viral
Of a guy getting his like nuts stepped on or like kicked on purpose. It's like a porn video
Why I don't know and I really would step on that's like deadly if there's a guy if there's someone out there
We'll keep you anonymous. We'd love to have you on the show and talk about why you like your balls getting kicked
Please can we get them on the show where they're like just a black silhouette and they're talking like this? Yeah
Yeah, it's like gangland
I remember when I was 16 my cat punched my nuts. Yeah, and I came hard. Yeah. Yeah, that'd be pretty cool back to raves
So drugs drugs tits stickers
Stickers uh, oh my god the bracelets dude
Plurre peace love unity and what the hell is that rain?
What is it? I don't know. No, it's like peace love plurre. I don't know what that is
I don't know what it is. You've never plurred. No, dude. There's plurre
It's like it's like their thing. It's like a tagline and you need to wear doc martins with very high socks
I don't really know what that means plurre meaning. What does plurre mean? I
peace love unity respect because when you think of
World peace surprise. Joey didn't remember the respect in the word plurre
No, I honestly thought I don't know why I thought rain. I feel like these people are always wet
That's why there are always a lot of wetness
I have a like a memory of like
Driving around in long island city and there was like a rate
There was like a thing going on at like
Reynolds island or something and there was just a bunch of people like coming back from that and they're all wet
Well, it's like I remember when I was in when we were
When I was in college
The joke is even funnier because you're way more successful than me. Um
Everything was a phone party
Oh, yeah, phone party, dude
For some reason our fucking dumbass youth would go to an indoor club, which by the way already was disgusting
I'm going to use new haven as an example. Fuck it. I know more mark will be able to relate to this
Connecticut club sounds
Super wet. I mean the name of it just sounds disgusting. It was called alchemy
It was fucking gross. You have to fucking mix
You basically you had to walk in and make a potion
Yeah, you instantly had to just like fucking like throw a potion on the ground. Nice and they were like it's already gross
This place was already sticky and disgusting and it's like on top of that
We're filling the whole place the whole place the whole place
with soap
And nothing else
And it became like a giant. Yo, I'm at I kid you not imagine this room halfway to the top. This is what nine feet
Imagine almost five feet of just foam
and soap
It was the worst but greatest but disgusting
But petri dish environment in the world right how many fucking butts that's way too many butts. It's all butts
It's this but this but then you can get two butts. That's it
So I that's another thing there needs to be some sort of moisture involved in order for it to be a rave
Yeah, I think there always is whether it be sweat blood
Plur
Or whatever, you know, they have a secret hand, you know, they have like bracelets, right?
So this is the thing. I don't know if you know this Frank is on the outside
This is a couple years ago. This would have been, you know, useful information
But now I feel like the the scene has kind of died someone out there who's
Literally, what's that shuffling right now and they're living them like, you know, these guys don't know what they're talking about
I don't know what we're talking about. Yeah, but they have
Uh bracelets, right that are like colorful and they have stuff on them like
You know stop racism and like, you know, just like nice stuff like peace love happiness and like shit
So they would make bracelets like that and then you would trade bracelets with someone
But there was a specific way to do it
So you would have to do this come give me your hand
You'd have to do something like this
And then we would transfer bracelets like that without taking them off without without breaking your hands
That is let me tell you real quick. That is the dumbest fucking thing. It's up there
It's up there. Were they like the sex ban bracelets like we had when we were in sixth grade
I'm sure there was a ton of sucking and fucking going on. That's another thing. You need you need
I mean, I guess it's all concerts. Someone is having a sexual encounter
Someone's getting blown in front of a group
Yeah, absolutely and like tents
Raves sharing water was a big thing too. A lot of people would drink water
Well, because that's because they were so fucking hyped up on MDMA. They need the water in order to live
We could just say molly, right?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure we can feel old when I say I'm doing whatever man. I'm doing it
I'm doing it. It's only a matter of time before you start crushing molly
No, absolutely not. No, you're not doing the molly. No, I feel like it makes you look like a crackhead
Well, that's a thing. These raves are all filled with crackheads. I saw one person
I know do he was high on molly and I was like, you look like a fucking idiot right now
Really? Yeah, there was a lot of licking of the lips. Oh because it dries out your lips apparently. Yeah
God just
My it just grossed me out and I just did it to myself. I know it's not good. All right, so raves happen in basements
I'm not I'm not built for a rave. I don't think I could do a rave. I'm like a bar
I'm like, you know, what's it called when like, you know, hicks get crazy. What's that called a barn throwdown?
No, yeah, like a hole. Oh a ho down a ho down. I could ho down, but I need I can't do country music
I can't do I could do country music. I could wear a flannel. I'll put some boots on
Joey has been wearing flannels recently. No, he hasn't. Yes. You have when I I could see you
I would do a throwdown a ho down a throwdown ho down
I think that's when you you ho down and then there's a fight
At the ho down. Yeah throw down
I could do a ho down if it was like cool music if it was like
Fucking Bruno Mars. I can just be like, no, you can't ho down to Bruno Mars
Hey, drinking a fucking listening to Bruno Mars and hear yourself. Yeah, that'd be good. No
I can't do just like
Like I can't fucking that's not good drinking music. Yes, it is. No, it's not. They talk about drinking music
In the back of trucks. I uh, I don't like it. I don't like it and a pretty girl a pretty blonde girl
Close your eyes close your eyes jeans. What would you rather drink to you ready? Frankie? No, close your eyes. Okay. You ready?
It's more than a feeling more than this isn't Bruno Mars. That's different. I didn't say that
I'm I'm saying Bruno. All right. All right. Okay. No, watch this. All right. Close your eyes. Close your eyes. Okay
Tonight
I just want to take you
Let's set this party off
I I I I'd rather be at a rave right now. Honestly put your pinky pizza to the moon
Takajara
Damn what you're gonna do. Can you stop now or would you rather drink to?
I can get those new water
That's a pretty catchy song. Is it it is. I only know that. Oh, and then it's like laugh is good
Yeah, it's something like that and he has a mask on me. Go. I don't know. I think it's just
It's
Is it exploiting like the Hispanic culture for fucking like it's like I'm gonna pander to it not only country people. Yeah, exactly people. Yeah
I so what would you rather drink to you?
It depends on the mood. Sometimes I'm in a yo, let's get crazy and like whatever
But sometimes you want to sit back and you know talk about
Like option three a barbecue and put on option three. I was a terrible since the public school era back in classes cutting
Why are you in bathroom passes bathroom bathroom class you went to bathroom class?
Everyone went to bathroom class. I don't really know what that is
People used to fuck in the bathroom in my school. Oh, not in our schools
I mean that's not true people fucking the stairwells where I went to high school
Yo, did you ever hear about this story?
for my high school
apparently
There was a video that some girl sent some kid
Some boy in my high school of him like I've heard like fucking going to town on herself. Oh good
So then he sent back a video of him jerking off and licking and
His own cum and it went viral
In the school or in the school in the earth and like people saw it and had it
And like the cops got involved in everything. Yo, it was fucking. I never had it. I never saw it. Thank god
It was after I'd graduated, but I remember hearing about it. Oh my god. You met. Yo, that was terrible
Jennifer Anderson is like yo, joey
Jerk off in your own hand
Whatever may come at the result of you jerking off
Consume it. Why did you say that like that? I I see whatever make like I might produce salsa
Why did you say that? Well, I don't know how Jennifer whatever whatever might result in that
Going to be anything else. I don't know how she talks
She could be one of those people that takes everything super serious. That is
You know, like there's only one outcome. Robert Downey jr. Doesn't talk regularly. He'll be like, uh, I traveled to the store today
You know, like you like I don't know if she's one of those people
She lives in a in a in a
A mill. What's that called a windmill? That's cool. He lives in like a windmill. Wouldn't you?
No, I would live in a like a villa. He's like a super green guy
So it kind of makes sense. Is he yeah, he's like all about like helping the world makes sense
Those marvel movies paid him big do something good with that money for serious
I think for like four movies. He got like 260 mil or something like that each movie
Oh for those yeah, I mean not that it would make a difference and that's just the movies like the marvel movies
Yeah, I don't think he's done many movies outside of that. But he did Sherlock Holmes, isn't he?
He did the Sherlock Holmes
He did the one I think was called like the judge or something like that. It was like him and robber duval
Either way, who's robber duval? He's an actor
Thank you. Moving forward. I guess he's bald
Uh, he was in the godfather
Uh, pretty sure he was in the godfather. He's bald. He's bald. He's fucking bald as shit. Yeah, um
Living in a windmill is kind of cool. Yeah, I'd kind of fuck around living in a windmill
Probably powers your house and it could power your house support the earth wind wind uh energy
Now I don't know where I am
I don't know what i'm saying. How do we get for raves to wind energy? I don't know. What were we oh, I don't want to
You wouldn't do that. What but you know what you should do
Go to patreon.com slash the beach when you're in order to support the show support joey and I and realistically
You support me more because joey he said if we get to 9 000, he'll let me finally live a life that is worth living
Uh, but every you get every single weekly episode a week in advance and for that extra tier you get exclusive episodes every
Friday morning that people don't get to see except for you. It's a good time. It is a great time
It's a good time over there and bun drown
Time. Oh, by the way, I wanted to tell I don't know why I said that. I'm so sorry. Um, but anyway, I uh
I was my lease is up soon on my car. Okay
So I went to go look at cars with my with my
I'm being attentive and listen. You're like a like a doctor. I'm but why because when joey like well
I start to get a headache guys. Okay. Okay. When you guys talk to joey, you know what he does
Really? Yeah
Wow
Oh, wow, look. No. Oh, this is the first time frankie's fucking lied on this show. I guess first of all, I'm not a liar
Oh, you're a bitch second of all you lied to me before the show you exaggerate
I didn't exaggerate. I remember that conversation differently. We'll get to that. I remember that conversation differently
But go on about your car. I'm listening and being attentive. Okay
I I do have to admit I hate people that are like that. I hate it. I feel like it's like well, dude
What I'm on the phone. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, I just want to go shut up for once
One second. Let me get four words out before you confirm what I've been saying completely agree. I hate people like that
but no, so I went to go look at cars
um, and uh, oh man
I I
miss this
Because you walk into a car dealership and everyone is just like
Lying to you. Oh, are you like are you like the one girl at the party in high school that every single guy wants to get with?
What the fuck are you talking about like it's like everyone's trying to just be like
Come here. Oh, no, no, I want to talk. No, but fuck it. Yo, you know, it's like that bob's furniture
Bob's bob's discount furniture. Raymore and Flanagan's the same way. You walk in and they're in hawks
Dude, they are hawks. Hawks at that place. Do they work off commission?
Obviously, dude, I walked into a bobs with Keith one time and I forgot I was looking for it
It didn't even matter
I walked into a bobs with Keith and there was a guy immediately I walk out on this fucking centimeter into the stories
You guys need any help. I'm like, I don't even know what you have in here
Get me go get me a glass of water. Yo, they are very like they're about it
Dude, we were walking around the store and the guy was just
Dude, yeah
Like looking for and then eventually we ran away from him
We we kept running away. I don't blame you. We were hiding in little bedrooms and like all this shit
We were just getting away from the man. I was like, yeah, I feel weird now
I'm playing hide and seek with this fucking grown man from the box discount furniture
I completely understand a couple months ago Becca Miles and I went and not only did we have the
Woman that was like that where it was like we walked in we're like, oh, we're looking around for couches
Oh, we got a couch over here. It's like you got couches everywhere. Let me fucking look around. Yeah, but she was also like
Oh, so this one
Like coughing into her own hand Jesus and we were like
Back away. Don't touch it get away from us. Yeah, and like I think we said like
Oh, just we'll tell you when we need you pretty much in a roundabout way
Yeah, and Becca was like if that woman comes near us again fucking run, dude, that's what I do
I go listen. I'll I'll let you know if I need you or if anything. I'm just kind of looking
Okay, okay, then they stand two inches behind you and I go guy get the fuck out of here. Yeah
Go take a walk. Go take a smoke a cigarette or something
There's a weird middle ground that you need to find a weird gray area
You need to find in order to be a successful salesman, you know, you also don't want to be one of those people like
Find it on your own
Yeah, I don't think anyone's like that. I mean you're taught to like, hey, you need anything or just let me know
But like you know, give me my fucking distance. No, there are definitely people like that
I went to big lots a couple weeks ago with Becca and
They fucking I we what we asked this one. We were like, oh, we're really interested in this. She goes nope
That's fire. We're like and she's like
We don't have it and I'm like, okay. Okay. Does anyone
Like it doesn't exist on the earth
And I'm like, what about the floor model nope
And it's just like listen from someone that worked in retail if someone's saying they want to buy something and
And you lie to me like just be like
We might not have this one
But this one is very similar or or be like, you know what they have it at this store. Make it fucking happen
Yeah, that's the other end of the spectrum where she was just like literally she was like
It's like
Fuck off. She hated every single second of that interaction dude, but anyway, so I went to go get this car
mind you
I
have a number in my head
Of what is not only fair, but like from little research that I've done that I know it's around this
So obviously I came in
Hundred dollars less than that. I hope they're not listening because someone actually recognized me at this dealership
Really? They were like, I love your podcast. So if you're watching this, dude
I look at everyone recognizes you all the time
no one knows
Anywhere you go you get people. Oh my god, joe of the basement yard and I'm like
It's the basement yard. Can you take this picture?
um
But uh
Yeah, so I I mean I come in lower. Obviously we're gonna meet somewhere. Yeah, that's the tactic
The number this guy came in with I was like, I'll see you later
Well, I wasn't really planning on spending use a roundabout number just to give me an idea. So like how off he was
So like if you're like you're thinking like a hypothetical you're thinking a hundred dollars
I know it's three hundred and fifty dollar like way higher. Whoa. Yeah for at least for like every month. So like I was like
That was I was floored. That's a lot, you know, like it was by the way not higher than my number higher than the number that I had anticipated
But like it's a lease like you're not paying the entirety of the car. You're just kind of just like hanging with it
Yeah, it's just whatever but like I
So it was just funny that like I know how this is gonna go go ahead. I'm gonna get a phone call
And to be like listen, guess what? Yeah, I
I found something closer to what you want to pay
Like he's doing me a favor. Yeah, like this guy who works for this billion dollar fucking car company is gonna do me a favor
I'm paying for the car. Hey, hey, Joe. I'm here to help you out. If you I'm helping you
There's the thing too and it's like I'm here to help you out and it's only today
So you need to give me something today. That's my least favorite thing. No the best they get me though
They get me they do they get me a lot. I will I I have a plan. I'm the little piggy boy. They get me all the way
Bro, I was losing my mind because like I was I wasn't I didn't really have the long conversation because I was
I'm gonna have one eventually because I know this guy's gonna call me. So, uh
I am just gonna stick to my guns here. You know, I'm playing the long game. All right. My lease is up in two months
I think so I still have some time. Okay, but I wanted to just get a feel like what's going on
Yeah, of course. So I think they're throwing high numbers at me so that when I come back eventually
They're gonna be like, oh, we got a good price for you, but it's still higher than the anticipated
So I I still don't pay too much. It's a game, Joey. It's too much. It's a game. It's a game. It's a game
And it's like it's like fucking plea bargains. By the way, the guy hypothetical numbers here
Gave me a range
I was like, what does this usually go for?
He gave me a range of $500
He was like, uh, you know anywhere from zero to 500 like hypothetically those numbers and I was like
So you're telling me for a car. That's big. No, right. So I'm like, so you're telling me
I didn't say this but in my mind. I'm like this car
Not different put nitrous oxide in it and all this shit, whatever
Is that what that's called? Yeah. Yeah. So you like just this model right here
Someone is paying $500 more than another
Ha ha
Because that those buttons have a fucking a wood panel finish and not the black chrome finish
Yeah, so I was getting fisted there. But anyway, so then we go to ford, right? I was with my mom
We go to four if you don't mind me asking. What was the first brand?
Or do you land rover land rover? I was looking at range rovers. Oh good for you. Yeah, right. Thanks for supporting the show
Good on you
So I I we go to ford and my mom was looking at the bronco the new bronco that they have next car
Bro, we walk in and it was so funny. So some guy like we were just like looking and like no one comes up to us
It's also at the end of the day. So I'm just like I'm assuming like early in the day people are like hawks and all over you
We're we walk in and uh
We're just kind of standing around. We're looking at the bronco. I'm kind of just waiting for whatever
I don't even see anyone who like works or to last forever if you keep them in good shape
Some guy who was helping another couple. Mm-hmm goes
Are you guys being helped
And I turned to my mom. I'm like we're being jerked
I was like I just I'm getting fisted up and down north of bulvard over here because there's all like whatever
So this guy comes over dude. It was so funny
This is what he says
Guy comes over
My mom's like he goes. Hey, can I help you guys? I was like, oh, you know, I really like the bronco. So I'm looking at this
he goes
he goes
I don't have any good leases right now
What does that mean? What does that mean?
The good ones are out. What is that suddenly he's like, oh, I only have I helped out a bunch of other people
But you fuck yourself. Well, not only that, but it's just kind of like, you know, oh, there's good leases and there's bad leases
Like I'm gonna upcharge you. So like that's not what that's what it is in four days. He's gonna be like, hey, joe
It's uh, steve from uh, the four dealership. Here's what I could do. I guess what I found
You're never gonna believe this. I love it's so funny how like yo, I I full on remember
You're never gonna believe this bro. I'm gonna fucking believe it. Oh, um, yeah
Oh, what let me guess you have an amazing deal that you didn't have three days ago when nothing changed
Oh the lease that the number that I see on tv on on the on the fucking website is the number you came up with
You're doing me a big favor. It is I dude that whole like salesman retail world is all bullshit
God bless him. It is all but I was I I'll say this. I respect it. I do respect
Hey, man, we're gonna make no money somehow. Yeah, well, not only that but it's like, yo
If I could squeeze I could squeeze squeeze because I enjoy I enjoy the sport of not squeezing back
Yeah, or not letting myself be squeezed. You don't you're not a big squeezy boy. I I like to be firm
Yeah, and not squeeze. Yeah, there's not a lot of meat on those bones. Right. That's what I like. I will say
You are and from I assume
You are the outlier you are the exception to the rule because most other people will be like
I did this one day when I was getting to my home security system
I was like they called me and they said it's only today. The deal's only
Okay, and then Becca was like no if they can do the deal today. They can do it next fucking week and I was like
You're right. Yeah, you're right. And I know that you're the exception because there are other people or it's like
Hey, Joe, listen up. It's it's Ricky from the major world. I gotta tell you I'm not a check
I'm not even supposed to be telling you this. I'm not supposed to be I'm not supposed that's the worst
When I went and got my car now the guy came over
And go and was like and just shown me like prices and like this and that and he's like he's like this actually I
Forgot to ask you about it earlier. So I just took it out of the price
And I was like, fuck you my favorite is the one that's like this
My favorite is the one that's like this
They're staring at you the whole time and writing this stuff down and they're like, all right, so I can't even tell you this
But if there's 38 here, all right, what I'll do for you because I like yours
I'm gonna take another 10 off. Yeah, just don't shut up. Just shut up and say something if you sign with me today
I'll give you another five off
All right, and do you have anyone? This is my favorite. I got this at Verizon
Do you have anyone in the family in the army or the navy or the marines? No, I'll give you the discount anyways
And it's like Jesus christ, like uh, actually like wait a second
I don't want to get in trouble for stolen valor or some shit, you know
I don't want one of those videos of people coming up to me. Well, what's the infantry?
Yeah, huh? What? Oh, you're Italian. Really? That's so interesting. You're an idiot. I was in the 77. Yeah, you know
And it's like fucking I don't want that to happen. I don't want to be a part of that either
But I love dude
I would make a really good salesman because I would I would be able to just like bullshit these people
Oh, yeah, I mean, I that's why I really enjoy like the sport of it. I'm just being like no, dude
Like the number I came just to the difference between at range Rover the difference was
$400 where I came in where he was like, this is probably what I was like
And I can I can't be that off. Yeah, I'm obviously I'm coming in lower
But like bro, but yeah, all those things all those car commercials are fucking I watch them
And I'm like, wait a second for 199 a month. I can get a new Range Rover. Yeah. Oh, no problem at the bottom
It's like all you need to do is you need to give 3,800,000 down and then you need to be
And it's like fucking Christ. They they it's all those little the little text at the bottom
Yeah, it depends how much money you put down, but that's another thing. It's like, oh depends how much money you put down
All the taxes all that makes it all it's like
Yeah, when are you gonna give me the price?
Oh, well, then we got to take into account the interest rate, which Wells Fargo is coming back at a 2.89
Yeah, it's like you
Do that. I don't do that. Yeah. Why are you telling me that? I like just tell me the number
Those car commercials get me every time because it's like, babe
We really could drive on a frozen tundra if it ever came to it, you know
And it's like that's never gonna fucking happen. And then you call Rick and he's like, listen, you don't know
There's a lot of water over here. We got a lot of water over in the jersey show
And you know, sometimes maybe you turn an ice, you never know. Yeah, dude. Oh god
It's it's unbelievable. I just don't what kind of sociopath goes just for the sport to talk to use like to fucking cardio
I'm going to get a car. I'm not gonna show up like in the like
Five days after I get a car like hey, I'm back. Well, you never know if you don't like your car
There's like a warranty on it where you can be like 30 days. You don't like it bring it back
And I was just fucking you know, I don't want to tell you this but if you bring it back after 20 days
I hate that. I don't want to tell you this. I shouldn't be doing this or I'm doing you a favor
I'm like when people tell me they're doing me a favor at college. You're not you're not I was like, bro
You're making money off of this any time but that's no one that says people that do you nice favors
Don't tell you they're doing you a favor. Yeah, you know
Like we knew someone once that hit up a someone we know and was like
Oh, well, I did you a favor so do me a favor now
And it's like no one is in that if someone has to remind you you're doing them a favor unless they're a child
They're fucking lying to you and they're in it for themselves
If anyone here works at a car dealership, which there's definitely at least four if you tell people you're doing well
Maybe that works on a majority of people
but
If you're selling me a car. Oh, yeah, and you're telling me that you're doing me a favor
Here's my rebuttal. You want to do me a favor?
pay for it
Pay for it because that would be a favor if I'm spending money
You're not doing me a yeah, of course and and I know I'm paying more so that you can make a buck off this
I'm doing you a favor. Yep. Don't tell don't make me like it look like a fucking asshole. Yeah pay for it
That's what you should be
You should be the fucking like in the training montage where it should be like if you could sell the joe
You could sell anyone
Don't say you're gonna do them a favor because the ultimate favor is buying them the whole fucking car to begin with yo my dad
I'm convinced that my I'm I'm I'm being dead serious
I think that my dad can walk into a Ferrari dealership and
With a lease they don't lease their cars at least not to my knowledge
I don't think but maybe they do but he would go joey subtle way of saying he's asked for a lease at Ferrari
Hell, no, I have the fuck it's a half quarter million dollar car
but
My dad is so good at this. It's unbelievable. My dad could like
Haggle his way into paying nothing for a car probably. Oh, yeah, my dad's the opposite
My dad will walk sound good. No, my dad will go into a car dealership and they'll be like, all right for this model
It's 20,000 and then for this model. I mean, there's some more bells and whistles, but it's 38,000
And my dad will be like
Get the 38
My dad thinks I make like millions of dollars
I could be on welfare and my dad would be like get the get the steak. It's good deal. It's good. It's a good deal
And I'm like, no, it's not but no I could see your dad going in there and walking out like owning the place
my sister went car shopping like her first car
with my dad and
she said like
He sits down and he just makes demands like he'll sit down and be like, I want to pay 180 dollars and they're like
Well, no one pays 180 dollars. Okay, just stands up
Just leaves, dude. That's what my up and down northern boulevard. He goes, okay, I need leaves
That's what yo, my cousin used to work at it at a at a
Nissan dealership and he told me too. He's like, yo, don't forget that you like they work for you
Yeah, so if you just don't want something and walk away, they're gonna be like
They're gonna like chase you like a fucking puppy who needs a treat. I I forgot what I said
But I'm pretty I don't know if I said it, but I wanted to
I said something to the
Like when he told me the price, I just I think I like I
Instinctively went buggin
Like like immediately. I was just like chill like not paying that
um
But we shall see how that goes. I'm gonna keep you guys up. I want to know
But if it goes the way that I think it's gonna go because here's what I think
I think he told me a big number because he knows my lease is up in a couple months
And he knows that I'm not gonna make a move right now because I actually said that and also
He didn't know who I was when I walked in there, but then the guy told him who I was
Do you know who that is?
Yeah, basically, so he's like, I'm gonna squeeze this fucking little idiot out of his money
He's from elite daily and then I and then I came in at
$600 lower than he thought and then uh, I think he's gonna call me and he's gonna find
Whoa, we we just uncovered to a deal
Of this car. I was going doesn't change price
I was going through my desk. You'll never believe what I found found a good lease y'all
There's there really is I kind of almost in a way like I I'm like good for them
Like they have to really on this spot come up with such bullshit
And you know people walk out of there like that's where I think I don't think they find something
I don't think it's bad. I don't think it's bad. I actually like it. I do enjoy it. I'm yeah
Like if some guy says something I just want to be like
That was good. That was that was good because when I was at
When I was at BMW from my car and then the guy said that's like, oh, I forgot to do this
But you know, I'm just not gonna I'm not gonna add it in
He ended up like getting up and walking to the table and I just looked at my own. I was like, that was good
Yeah, and then I was like she was like what I was like that was bullshit
Bullshit, that's the way they get you they they build trust. They're like a fucking abusive ex-boyfriend. They're like, oh, no
No, no, I just
I won't I won't put you through harm this week. You know what I mean
It's like I'm just like the abusive ex-boyfriend that hits you up
And it's just like I just hope you find someone that makes you happy
Like fuck you. You know what you're doing. You're lying to me. You piece of shit. Yeah, the fuck
Why it sounds like you had I've not had a boyfriend ever
Dude, oh my god
And that was another thing too
When I went to get my BMW I was there for six hours stop six hours. I had I had tickets to a Yankee met game
I barely made it
Why six hours? I have no idea. What were they fucking were they spray painting it while you were there?
I think they fastened the car. Yeah, they built it as you were in the waiting room
But but I remember at the end of it. It was like the end of like I was like right there at the end
I we decided on a price everything. I was just signing everything in the sky at the last second
It's like, do you want the tire coverage? I was like, how much is that? He's like, it's like $2,500. It was like
What I was like, how I was like, how much is a tire and he's like they're like 150
I was like, it's if there is a tire issue then you get it for free, right? And I'm like
So I would have to blow out
Mad tires for this to be worth it
Plus the service plus the service
Yep, I go
Where do you think I'm driving? Yo, I remember there was and then I popped two tires two in two weeks
Because it was the the run flat bro
I went into this place and I was losing my mind the guys like yeah, you see the run flat tires
They make it so that if you get a hole in your tire that you can continue driving for longer
um, but they're more susceptible to
like pops
I was like
you guys
You guys created a tire that can drive when it gets a flat
But made it get more flats. Hey, man
Hey, man, that's why they make so much that go that 2,500 that's where they make their bread and butter
That's what it is. He literally was like really he's like a lot of people do it. I was like, I'm not doing I was like
I would have to pop like seven times. I literally said so. I was like, I've never popped that tire
Didn't your first didn't like a week into having that car. I got absolutely fucking destroyed
What you're a BMW
You remember someone like backed into it or something and like fucked it all up and it was it was in the shop for weeks
No, that never happened
When you were parked
No, that was my car. That's the reason why I had to get the new car because my car got totaled
I was parked and someone stole a taxi and drove it into my car. Thank god. I wasn't in it and totaled it classic
By the way, the car was so fucked up that I couldn't even open the door
The guy shows up to tow it. He's like, can you drive it down the block? I was like, what the fuck?
I don't even know if I can open the door
So when he talked I was like this thing is going to explode when I turn it on
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All right, so there you go folks very good. That was a lot very good. Oh man
It seems criminal that we're inside right now. It's beautiful. It's a beauty
It's a beautiful day
To let it get away
I sound like bono
It's a beautiful day. I sound more like him
No, no, no
What do you think you can actually sound like a like an artist?
Frank Sinatra do it
I'm closing my eyes. Which one which song there's only one Frank Sinatra. There's but no, I mean which song I'll do it
any song ready
Come fly with me. Let's fly. Let's fly away
Bad not bad. It could be better though. It could Alice get over here
Who's Alice? She's the waitress. Oh, okay
And then that was a bit I could I could do Scott stat. Who the fuck is that creed? Oh nice. Oh, I could I could do that
What is this
Go ahead
That's pretty good any others. I don't think there's any others that I can do
I used to be able to do even
People who just were listening were deaf just fucking all gone. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry
I think I used to be able to do e40
posted in the bike
Back to hit the club and I'm up. No, no one sounds like that except for e40. Yeah, apparently he's a legend
he sounds like a like
Like a bubble damn speaking of legend dmx ain't doing so hot. Yeah, man drug overdose, right? Yeah, he oh dude
He's just still fighting though. I don't by the time this comes out. I mean, well, let's let's see where he is
You know, you obviously
Hope for his recovery. I think he's still on life support. There was like a report that he came off of life support
But he's still on it, but
Dude, I love dmx dude. There was a man. Holy shit
Bitch, you ever see the video of him talking? Yo, he's like
Bro the the industry. Yeah, I mean full of dick sucking. He goes crazy. Really? Yeah
I've never seen that. It's like anybody don't like it. What bring it? What?
Bitch, and there's a guy just like holding a microphone. He's like, oh
Yo, dmx is crazy best best version of Rudolph the red nose reindeer. I've ever heard that's for sure
Yummy. Oh, you're really good. You're really good at this. I love dmx. Damn. I didn't think you could do this
Yo dmx at one point like I I like missed it because I
Whether I was too young or I just didn't have like an interest. It was right before our yeah
Dude, this guy was the biggest person on the planet. I had no idea
He had two albums in one year ago platinum both of them
It was when no one did that when we were older
He was the first person to ever do that when we were old enough to start like listening to like hip-hop and rap
It was like right when he was leaving. It was like not leaving but like quieting down
Well, I remember cradle to the grave. That was good. That was x gonna x. Don't give it to you x. Don't give it to you
Dude, that's no matter
I don't care where you are who you are what you are. That song is gonna give it to you. Yo, you
It's gonna you play x go and give it to you in a fucking church and the nuns are gonna be like
Dude, actually I've never seen a nun in church
You don't go to church. I don't but I've never seen a nun in church. What's with that?
They're out. They're like the messengers. They're out like the Jehovah's so they don't get that
They don't have to go to church. They're like, yo, we're good. We live church
They like why do I have to go to church, but they don't they're not in church
I think it's part of the nunnery that they like basically get married to Jesus and it's like when they graduate
They're like, yo, congrats. You're fucking married to Jesus now. Go tell everyone that you're married to him
Yeah, but I don't think they're married. I think I think
Well, I think you're wrong. I don't know but I've never seen a nun in church. What's with that?
I've seen priests in church. I've seen a bishop. I've seen a car. No once I saw a bishop twice. You're legit
I'm trying to think. I don't think I've ever seen a nun in person
What's that? You saw a nun
I feel like I've seen a nun
I think nuns are like fucking like Sasquatch everyone believes they exist
But no one has like real pictures or videos of them. No, I think nuns exist
I do think they exist, but they don't go to church, yo
I don't I think like and like nuns can like marry like real people. Whoa. Oh, no. No deacons deacons deacons
But girls are deacons. Didn't you have a neighbor who was a deacon? What was that guy?
I don't I don't he was like two houses down from you. I don't know
Yeah, you don't pay attention to your neighbors. I don't I you you're not neighborly
I knew my neighbor is quite well, but I didn't know what was the deacon who which deacon the guy
He was he was actually he was actually a good-looking guy santi
I don't know your neighbor's names. He was an old guy
But he had like he had salt and pepper. He was salt and pepper old guy probably maybe
I don't know. I really don't know but I yeah, I'm not like I don't know
I'm yo legit. I'm starting to think I don't think I've seen a nun in person like in like they're none at like none like
A tire. Yeah. Well, I don't think they could wear anything else. No, I know I
No, you're a 24 seven. I know an old nun. She like retired from being a nun
Can you like just give up be like, yo did my time? I got like 30 people to believe in God. I'm good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
Well, I don't think
Is that how it works? No, you just like dedicate your life to like uh
Something I don't know. I like I think you have to take a bow of poverty
and then um
Wait poverty. Yeah. Yeah, you don't like have a job
They don't you don't go to the supermarket and see like a nun checks you out
Well, I'm not saying you don't have a job. But how do you eat the donations from the church?
And the they have a tax thing so that they don't pay tax. So you're hold on
You're telling me that nuns only eat the fucking spaghetti. Oh, is that people give to them? No
Yeah, moron. I'm talking about the money
So they oh, so they just be like, yo donate to the church. I want a fucking cheeseburger
Yes, this is weird. This is weird. Well, you're getting into the politics of it. Well, then there we go
Is it like, whoa, well a lot of people donate to the church every every every every
I remember that basket on that big pool stick, you know, it comes along. Yo, I used to think that was the coolest
Fucking thing in the world. I honestly when I was younger. I wanted that job. I was like, yo, this guy gets to like
What do they call altar boys or usher pew boys usher usher usher rainmen usher
There's another time. I wanted to be usher. I always want to be different kind of job. I'm fucking
You know, do the usher dance move the fuck was that one of his dance moves more Broadway music video to yeah
You don't remember that where he's like
Oh, yeah, I do. I do. He does do that. Oh, yo the chain swing
Oh
I remember this move. I remember this move. You ready you remember this move
Oh
Yes, I do I do I do then didn't he spin on his knee after that and then he does he doesn't spin on his knee
I just hurt my knee real bad. Yeah. Yeah, it looked like you hit the ground. It hit pretty hard
It's hard flooring bro usher in that fucking music video when he took his chain. He was like
Peace out. It's when he did when he said peace up a town down. I was like
It is it is peace up in a town down. I was like, bro
And he took a chain and we're like this
Caught it here. I was like, this is the coolest fucking man ever always with my
Full denim outfit a hundred percent denim. And do you remember at the music video at the end of it?
They had extra so when the song would come on in the club. I would be like
Fuck yeah, dude, I felt like usher. Yo usher
Man that dude's fucking hot as hell. He has herpes, but like whatever. I'm taking that herpes
Every day what usher herpes to the guys like 40 and he looks like younger than me, dude
Versus right now
Not me and you versus usher. It's always debate this usher chris brown. It's usher
Oh, bro. I don't think well. Oh, actually that's tough. Yeah
That's that's tough. It's it's something you have to think about dude top usher 98 usher alone
Yo usher's got like confessions part two. We gotta google this confession. Let's just fight about it
Let's let's fight you look it up. Okay. I'm who am I looking up
You're looking up usher. I'm looking up usher. You're looking up chris brown, bro. You remind me. No, no
What's the song that I love? You were saying I remind you of usher. No, thanks, man. Are you fucking insane?
You don't remind me of usher at all
Uh chris brown
You look up chris brown. I'll look up usher songs
Usher it probably has more songs
But chris probably has more but i'm saying like who's got the chris brown. I also has some stuff
Yeah, he's they both probably not the best people like outside of but but what's the song that I love?
You don't have to call all my you don't have to come
It's okay girl
Because I'm gonna be all right tonight
Bang, you don't all right. All right. You ready? I'm gonna give you the top 10 that are here for this list
for usher
These are his top 10 someone put a fucking bad top 10
Okay, I put a all right. Hold on. These are these are um
Ew, okay first one
run it
Yo, I remember run. It's a good song. He was 16 run it is a good song, but I remember hating how he sounded
He was like
But that was his first song that was my hell yeah, it was a dope song and then his fight and jewels
Okay, step it step it step it now. We're sitting down again step it step it step it now. What I mean
I don't even want to deal with that
Five weeks at number one. Just know that hold on. Hold on my boo
Bro
That song is so hard. It's crazy. All right next one. Oh, I actually hate this song kiss kiss
You gotta love it now. That sounds okay. Yeah. All right. I don't like this song either. So oh my god with william
Oh my god
Did it again? So I'ma let the beat rock. Yeah, but that was that was like a club banger. I'll be kind of oh
forever
Yo, why people go crazy for forever
One two three four yo, and yo, and then why people are like oh, and they do this dance
They want to dance so hard you ever go to a wedding they play forever all the white people hear the
And then they go
It's like one two three four and then just like but I will say this they got nothing else
They got nothing else. I will say this I will say this that song was completely taken by the office
Yes, it was taken by the office and then it became that like but like it was a banger before yo 2000
All right. I'm close your eyes 2010
Joey's got a fucking joey's got a kran vodka in hand. Well 2010 2010 you got kran vodka in hand
Just just 7. Just go me here 17. God kran vodka in hand. Yeah
Yeah
bing bing bing bing bing bing so we rock in the cup everybody's rocking from the
sign sign sign sign sign sign bang
Yeah it's f**king crazy. Dude, that song went penis. With what?
It went Art. That song went penis, with you, with you, with you.
Yeah, alright alright. Oh, I'll tell you what a song, I haven't seen on this yet.
Say goodbye, dude.
Never, I ain't coming to stay goodbye
Everyone broke up to that song in sixth grade, bro
Listen to me, in sixth grade, we were like a little older than that
I don't know
Absolutely
What about the, um, what's the one, uh, where, oh
Uh, you made me say, oh, I don't know your name
But it's you
And he's in the back like a
Yeah
It's like yo
Just fucking crankin' hard
He was just glidin' across the dance floor
Someone said like, he might catch up to her if he just stopped dancing
Alright
You remind me?
You remind me?
You remind me!
Oh my god!
This song is so hard
This is my confession
Oh, shh
Just when I thought I'd say no
I could say my chick on the side
Said she got one on the way
This is my confession
Man, I'm throwin'
And I don't know what to do
And this I gotta give by to a man
She opened up the door and didn't want to come near me
I said, bye to my baby
No one knows those words
Lead him in
Oh
No, um, what was the song that I just had here?
Oh, fuck
I got another one
You made me forget
I got another one
Oh, don't get me started on that show
No, my sixth grade girlfriend broke up to me with that song, bro
Damn
Like, we broke up
She called me
She's like, we should see other people
Sixth grade, by the way
And that's on the house phone
Other people can listen
That hurts extra
Yeah, and I was on my way to the park
To go play basketball
That was the worst game of basketball I've ever played
Broke my heart
But then she, uh
Then she put in her away message on AIM
It was like
Gotta let it burn
And I was like, damn
That's a different song
Burn is a different song from what I was just singing
Yeah, ooh
When you feel it in somebody
In somebody who
Makes you change the way
Like hanging with your crew
That's a good song
That is a good song
That's You Got It Bad
Yeah, You Got It Bad
Burn, though
That's a fucking burn
I think that you should
Let it burn
Be in my brain
Seeing your body too much
Oh, the song Yeah is also good
But it's not as good as
Which one is Usher Yeah versus Lil' Brown
Uh, Chris Brown
Yeah
Lil' Brown
Oh my god, that's so funny
Um, give me that
That song is hard
I shot about that song
Until right now
That song is hard
Say yeah man
I'm gonna need it in my
Give me that
I'm gonna
I'm gonna
You know I like the way you're leaning
I like that
I could be in the back
Say give me, give me, give me
Damn
Yeah, that shit is crazy
But, yeah that's what I want
You make me want to be the one I'm with, start a new relationship with you, but I just got
hit.
Dude, I'm telling you.
This guy's got slappers.
And then yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Come on.
Dude, I...
Stop.
Stop.
Baby, rub on your nipples.
Yeah, that's another...
Ludacris, too.
Yo, Ludacris has got...
Ludacris.
...slammers.
But how was Ludacris's part in the echo again?
That's a great question.
Hit the road.
If you ain't gunning, then I put him up for patrol.
Patrol.
Ow!
How you like me now?
When my pinky value over $300,000.
Then...
I love Luda.
Who wins that?
Oh, sure.
Fist fight.
Oh, shit.
I was gonna say...
I was gonna say, like, who wins in a fist fight?
I was gonna joke you, but...
Chris Brown.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But...
He's got stuff.
Usher.
I think Usher wins that, dude.
Yo, Usher is...
And, like, this is the thing.
If Lil' Brown...
Again.
He keeps calling me Lil' Brown.
Lil' Brown.
Lil' Brown.
If Chris Brown.
Lil' Brown.
Just stop, like, popping his chest out every now and then and, like, focus more on the music.
It might be better off.
Also, it'd be really nice if he wouldn't hit women.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's sick.
Yeah, that would be...
Yo, Chris Brown's mad young, though.
How old do you think he is?
Uh, he's gotta be only a couple...
I would say, like, 32?
He's 31, bro.
Yeah.
He's only a couple years older than us.
This guy's...
Half of his life, he's been famous.
That's crazy.
And, like, big-time famous, too.
Yeah.
Not, like, Lil...
You know what song is a banger?
Freaky Friday with Lil' Dicky.
Yeah, that's a good song.
Yo, Usher's 42, bro.
Yeah.
He looks great.
He has an age of day.
Dude, literally.
Hasn't.
Him and Gabrielle Union?
I'm like, bro.
Yeah.
Like, yo, you know how people make those, like, conspiracy theories about, like, how Hillary
Clinton, like, drains the blood from, from, like, young people and, like, so that she
can, like, anti-age?
She drinks it.
Like, bro.
That old bitch looks like a, like, she's on her way out.
If anyone's doing that...
She looks dried up.
Listen, if anyone's doing that, it's Usher and Gabrielle Union.
Come on, man.
They haven't changed a day.
Yeah.
Listen.
Where's the speculation?
I'm not gonna sit here and say that Hillary Clinton doesn't have things about her that
are probably terrible, but, but Usher and Gabrielle Union, they're drinking from the
fountain of youth.
Let me tell you.
I don't know what the genetics are just un-fucking-believable there.
Dude.
Yo, she literally...
Remember this past Halloween, or was it this Halloween or the one before that?
She wore the same outfit she wore in, uh, Bring It On.
Who knows how fucking long ago that was?
I think that was in the 1920s.
What year was it?
Sure.
I believe it's 1999.
Dude, and she looks the exact same.
Like the exact same.
It's Good Looking Woman.
It's Good Looking Woman.
To say the least.
Keeps yourself in shape.
Good Looking Woman.
Good for her.
And yes.
Damn.
That Usher, that got me hyped now.
I kind of...
Usher's got...
God damn.
That's the thing.
Usher's music evolved as we...
Like when we were just like emotional little bitches, we were singing You Got It Bad
and Burn.
What?
I still do that.
Do you?
What?
I haven't sang Burn in a while, dude.
Dude, what?
Karaoke?
Damn.
That was good.
That was a good song.
That was good.
That was good.
How did this turn into Usher versus Chris Brown?
I don't know.
I don't know.
But I'm not upset that it got there.
No.
You know?
There got to be like...
There were also like one hit wonders.
Is it your dad?
No.
It's a random West Virginia number.
Take me home.
Country road.
To the place.
To the place.
To the place.
To the place.
To the place.
To the place.
To the place.
To the place.
To the place.
To the place.
You're the one who hates country music.
I showed you the video of that Asian track.
The funny thing is that this is not about the state of West Virginia.
It's about the West side of Virginia.
I don't know why, but the first time I saw that...
You said it to me.
You know when you see something at first and you go...
And then it just turns into this booming laugh and I couldn't...
It was like a whole afternoon.
That's how it was with me with um, dad, you were never there for me.
Just rain.
My name's Jeff.
Yeah, I, I, we laughed about that for weeks.
Oh, that fucking vine.
No, so good.
I don't think that's, is that country music?
I think it's like rock, rock, rockery.
It's like a rock country hybrid.
Are you talking about that West Virginia song?
But yeah, are you fucking like what?
You think it is?
Yes.
You sure?
Yes.
By John Denver, he's not really a country singer.
He's more like a soulful singer.
Let's look it up.
Let's look it up because I don't want to admit that I like that.
I mean, there is other country stuff that I like.
You got to like wagon wheel.
I don't like wagon wheel.
Yo, wagon wheels, it slaps.
There was one that I remember that I heard wagon wheel like a hundred times
when I was in Nashville.
It never got old and everyone was equally as excited as the first time because
they were all fucking hammered.
Well, yeah.
Um, I remember what was the other song where it was like, um, Pete, you still
listen to this shit all the time.
Maybe you're a song, you make me roll my windows down.
Yeah, that's Florida, Georgia line.
Yeah.
With Nellie did the remix.
Did he?
Nellie's crushing like country music now.
Yo, Nellie's got slappers too.
Who wins in a versus?
Oh, well, sure.
I was going to say Nellie or Florida, Georgia line.
Maybe I guess they all have they know Nellie or T.I.
Nellie.
I think Nellie takes that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
T.I.
Has like seven.
What was that song he did with Tim?
Oh, and it's time I over and over again.
And I can't get wasted with him.
Yeah, it hurts so bad.
T.I.
Has like shoulder lean, bring him out.
Rubber band, rubber band, man.
He's a banger.
Uh, uh, what's that live your life song?
Well, whatever you like, that's the whatever you like.
But he's also on the live your life song with Rihanna.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's on that.
That's five rubber band man.
Shady.
Do you remember everyone wore rubber bands just to sing that?
And they would just go like this?
Yes.
I don't think that was everyone.
I think that was just me and you.
Probably.
Dude, rubber band man.
Nine am I right?
Forty five in my other hand.
What?
What are you looking at?
Rubber band man.
Oh, it's a good song.
There's an ad.
It's not the other rubber band man, the country, like the classic rock song.
This only has 3.1 million views.
That's it?
People are sleeping on rubber band man.
People are sleeping on rubber band man.
Oh, you never know what he's saying.
Yeah, I don't know what he's saying in the beginning of those.
But yo, and he asked at the beginning.
David Banner, David Banner, who I be rubber band man.
Wild is the Taliban.
Let's slow it.
They'll take it easy there.
This is 2004 when he came out.
Maybe I mean, they were pretty wild back then.
Nine and is right.
Forty five in his other hand.
Right.
David Banner had some.
I always, whatever people tell me, like, what's the dirtiest song you ever play heard?
I always think of that song play by David Banner.
Well, you know, when the chorus goes, come girl, I'm trying to make your pussy wet.
I think.
Work that.
Let me see your drip sweat.
You know, it was a good don't play with it.
Damn, damn, you know, the nineties, bro.
You know, I just forgot about until this very second and I know you used to love them.
Horde.
Don't I know who you're going to say.
And I still listen to them.
Little scrappy.
Oh, no, oh, little scrappy.
I know you're going to say, uh, the ying-yang twins.
No, you still listen to the ying-yang twins.
100% really my running playlist.
Yeah.
Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The rock and cane.
Those are my boys.
Oh my God.
That's fucking when you hear salt shaker.
Come on.
Well, dumb and you're like, well, I just started running.
Fuck, I mean, my favorite ying-yang twins song always has been and always will be the whisper song of the wait.
Of course.
I remember when that came out, we were like, they can whisper rap.
Yeah, we didn't know it was a thing.
I remember when Tony Ayo said, I could breathe on the track and make money.
Now, how much was that?
It was such a flex because he didn't get paid a lot.
He did.
He did.
He paid a lot of fucking hand.
Tony Ayo, so seductive.
Boy, was that a summer?
Was that a summer?
You remember everyone was just, oh my God, that's such a good fuck.
Every single song, everyone that was around 50 cent.
God damn, I missed that time in my life.
G-Unit, bro.
I put the G and G-Unit, baby, I got game.
I don't remember the rest of the lyrics.
There's probably a lot of stuff in there you can't say.
Yeah, young, uh, what was his name?
Lil Scrappy.
No, you don't want no problem, problem.
Oh, yeah, that was nice.
J-Quad, oh, he only had one song.
Well, he had two.
He had hood hop too.
Remember hood hop?
Just put your fucking mind.
No one forgot about hood hop.
One of the hardest beats of all time.
Dude, J-Quad, if you guys don't know J-Quad, that's fucking Tipsy.
They know J-Quad.
Okay, just wait.
Everybody in the club, get tipsy.
Everybody in the club, get tipsy.
I got two ads on this.
God damn, J-Quad, 5.1, more than rubber band.
You know, I have respect to my boy J-Quad.
And this is hood hop.
Listen to this beat.
Just wait for it.
Yo, huh!
That's how it sounds, look.
Yo, I got to thank God, dude.
This song is so hard.
We're going to get demonetized.
100%.
I lose the money, not J-Quad.
Yo, it's J-Quad, bro.
Damn!
J-Quad is so crazy.
Fuck!
Fuck!
Yeah.
Who else?
There's got to be others that we're forgetting.
You know what's wild is that we don't remember, like, what else we used to listen to.
Yeah, and there's probably, like, one off that you're like,
Oh my God, when I heard this song, I know.
I mean, you know, I'm all about, I was all about D4L and Dem Franchise Boys.
Oh yeah, all about, what?
Dem Franchise Boys.
The white tee?
Yep.
In my white tee.
I know all the lyrics to that song.
That was like my favorite song.
At one point, I was like, yo, my favorite,
Sorry, my favorite artist is Dem Franchise Boys.
I was like, I was super into it.
I was with you on that one.
I was with you on that one.
And D4L, too.
They hit Laffy Taffy and then they did Betcha Can't Do Like Me.
Nope.
No, that was fucking, oh no.
Yes, that was...
I thought it was D4L.
Or it was at Dem Franchise's?
Yeah, that was Dem Franchise Boys.
Now I gotta look up, there was another D4L song.
Laffy Taffy was good.
You could suck me for a long time.
D4L songs.
Oh, what?
It's Laffy Taffy, baby.
Do you know what D4L stands for?
Down for licking.
Apparently it's Dead Fucking Last.
That can't be right.
No, this is somebody else.
This is somebody else.
This is somebody else.
Dead Fucking Last.
Laffy Taffy by D4O.
It's D, the number 4L.
Yeah.
That's why I did DFL.
That's why I fucked up.
No.
Oh, they did Betcha Can't Do Like Me.
Oh, yeah.
I told you, nope.
Oh, they had a...
What's the other Dem Franchise Boys song?
There was another...
They had a couple, actually.
Were they the ones that did...
Dem Franchise Boys.
Now I got to look it up, because, yo, I'm telling you...
What happened to them, man?
Dem Franchise Boy.
They had...
Oh, I think they like me.
Oh, I think they like me.
Yeah.
Damn.
They had...
Damn, dude.
There was Jamal Willingham, Buddy, and Gizzle Man.
Gizzle Man?
Oh, and Parley.
Those were the members of Dem Franchise Boys.
Damn.
Damn.
Oh, I think they like me.
It was a heater.
There was another song that I...
I don't...
Lean would rock with it, obviously.
Oh, duh.
Everyone still leans with it and rocks with it.
They all know it.
No one has stopped leaning with it.
That's timeless shit.
I don't think anyone has stopped leaning with it.
You remember, uh, Three Six Mafia?
Gotta stay flat.
I fucking still love Three Six Mafia.
I wanted that fucking shirt so bad.
I tried getting it so bad, too.
So bad.
Wasn't happening.
It was the background of my eyespace.
That, like, green...
The skulls?
The green skulls?
We can talk about this forever, but we gotta wrap up here.
All right, all right.
Well, we're gonna have to put together a playlist.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
We should do, like, crazy verses on fucking Patreon
of, like, these random people.
What?
On Patreon.
We'll do, like, verses of, like, random artists.
Oh, I'm down with the verses.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm down with the verses so hard.
Yeah.
All right.
F-Alvers, 8-0-8-5 on Twitter and on Twitch.
Defrake Alvers on Instagram.
And then go, uh...
Check me out.
I'm a competitor in the movie, Travis Shimon.
And it's a good time.
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Appreciate all you guys, and we'll see you guys next time.
Yeah!