The Basement Yard - #291 - White Boy Summer

Episode Date: April 26, 2021

Frank & Joe talk about Chet Hanks and try to figure out if it is actually a white boy summer in 2021... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy- I almost said happy birthday Who's birthday is it? Welcome back to the basement, I almost said happy birthday Who's birthday? Is it my birthday? Oh god damn it, I'm losing it Do you know anyone's birthday? Today? No, I don't know No one's born today, that's a fact

That's not true, there's celebrities born today No Let's look it up, who's a celebrity that was born today You'd be like this is dope, this is a dope celebrity born today Literally no, I don't care You don't care at all? Oh man I do share a birthday with Ric Flair though

And George Washington was a Pisces What does that mean? I don't know Why do you say that, like you know anything about like all those like fucking like astrological signs Born today, Alice Braga Nope Actress, she is the queen of the south You know that show?

That's Antonio Banderas, we had Emma Watson, Hermione Happy birthday Hermione Luke Evans Who's that? British, you played Gaston in the live action Oh yeah, I know that well The live action fucking

No one eats like Gaston? Seth Rogen There we go Emma Thompson British, weird Maisie Williams Oh I like her I like her too

That's Aurea Oh you're stuck Yeah Alright, I don't care This is dumb Nobody else is that cool This is stupid Let's talk about your hat

Let's talk about your hat Oh you really want to go for it Yeah I like your hat You do? Kind of Oh This is another one of those shirts Where I like, it starts as white

But then when you stare at it It turns a different color Well I'm not even gonna even tell you It might be white It's like light blue I don't know, actually I think it's white I don't know It's light blue

I bought it light blue Oh dude, you want to try the hat on? No I don't It was a gift too So like the fact that like I can't buy something that you like I'm wearing clothes that I like bought Were not bought for

Like they were bought for me Or given to me Sweet Shoes were Danny's Nice Hat was given to me And shirt you found If I tell you I did actually buy this

Would you believe me? It's a fucking t-shirt Oh I don't know You're very muted with your color style I've noticed You're not a big flashy color guy You're gray I like pops

I like pops You like, yeah like your shirt right now Nice little pop That's it Well you know Target And I paid for this Oh

And I paid for it I didn't steal it I didn't steal it I didn't pay for this You know what else you could pay for? Patreon.com Slash the Basement Yard Where you can get

Every single weekly episode A week in advance I'm ready and good at this right Then you get exclusive content Every single Friday morning Start your weekend off With a little horniness By going to Patreon.com

Slash the Basement Yard It's good It's great Alright so let's just Cut to the chase here I've been wanting to share this with you For over a week You've been telling me about this

I had a dream Yeah and then you were like Yo I need to tell you But I wait until the show Because it's so funny Okay And like I really don't do this Like on purpose

It's not a bit It's really something That I've done like Multiple times in my life But sometimes I'll have a dream That was so funny to me That when I wake up I want to write it down

But I'm still like sleeping So I'm not really like You're like incoherent Yeah I'm like not that functional yet Lights are on no one's home So I And I'm still kind Like I could fall asleep

If I close my eyes So I try to just write it Like shorthand I guess it's called And just put like key words So I remember the dream Okay This is the dream

Okay And this is what I wrote right And I wrote it in separate lines To like this Go line by line We're going to try to decipher What this dream was Okay

And I promise This wasn't I didn't make this up Because I thought it would be A funny bit for the podcast This is actually my dream There's only Okay

First line Pooping period That's You got to be careful Using the body Your bodily functions And your sleep You do that in real life

Every time I've Never heard of that What? Every time I've peed the bed It's because in my dream I imagine I'm peeing How many times did you Peed the bed?

Like a long time ago But quite a bit Was it a long time? A couple months? No no I haven't peed the bed In years Years is also not that long

Yes it is Two years 26 years That's still years Yeah but how long? Honestly You pissed your bed In your 20s?

Honestly Like a little dribble drab But how much is it dribble? How many teaspoons? Or pints? Pints If you had to put it in fluid ounces I would say like

Honestly like maybe a tablespoon And then I wake up Like I was peeing in my dream I peed right here And like Is a tablespoon bigger than a teaspoon? I get those spoons mixed up Yes

Tables are bigger than tees That's a fact Not fake tees though No not fake Some people got big old fake tees There's a couple tablespoons in that one Oh yeah Okay so the first one

The first one is Pooping period Yeah Next line Bro Keith with me in the room period Okay that seems pretty straight forward so far Bro Keith My brother Keith

Was in the room with me while I was pooping And that Okay pretty straight forward Now here's where it starts to get sleepy And I don't really know what's going on Okay Sit standing in the toilet Uh huh

Like a gargoyle Okay Okay I don't know what sit standing is I think it's the infamous Keith sit Well I think Well I remember the dream The Keith crouch

But I don't know why I said sit standing But it's kind of like Like a gargoyle would be perched That was perched The Keith crouch A lot of people don't know what that means But it's a Keith crouch So then this is one line

Black poop period Keith said it smelled like Dad's van That's the whole next line The next line is Laugh so hard And I couldn't stop shitting This seems like

You're walking me through This is pretty good so far This is the last line This I don't know How it plays into this at all Uh huh It just says bird bath And I don't remember

How a bird bath came into it But it was written there Okay But I remember the rest of it Alright So basically this dream Right so that's how I This is what I am taking from it

And tell me if I'm accurate here You were in a room with Keith And you're shitting But as you're crouched Like a gargoyle Either in or above the toilet Imagine to see In the toilet

And then Keith said Hey this smells like Dad's van And it makes you laugh And you couldn't stop shitting And then you cleaned yourself Off in a bird bath I'm not sure where that Bird bath comes in

I don't remember any You know bathing like a bird During the stream But I do know that This is kind of based on like Actual events Not the black poop part Because that's concerning

Also I don't think I've ever Shit and went This smells like my Dad's old van Or when was Have you shitting Had your brother in the room With you So I'm glad you asked that question

The only answer is no I'm glad you asked that question Because that means that you don't know That I used to do that all the time Like as a baby No Like a two year old What dude

16 That's a little old 13 Now we're getting warm What Yeah yeah You would shit in the room with your brother So here's what would happen right

There would be time And we would switch Not switch like in the middle No no no Oh my god When we were growing up Me and my brother used to take Shits together

Not like together On the same bowl Like if I had the shit I'd just be sitting there And I'd be shitting And then he would sit across from me On the tub Because you remember

There was a tub across from me I remember the tub So he would sit on the ledge And we would just like Look at each other And then I'd be shitting And like We would die laughing

When there were farts And also when you hear the poop At the water We would laugh our asses off Yeah exactly And then sometimes You'd like poop And it's like

And then we'd die We would die laughing And we used to do this All the time dude All the time This is weird dude Yeah This is weird man

Yeah Why would you guys Just be like hanging out With each other While you're pooping I think that we just really Enjoyed the fart noises Like and

So Keith is like 30 years older than us So if you were 13 He was Nah I probably wasn't I honestly It was probably like Realistically around

When we were like 7, 8 But that's still too old Yeah We were tandem shitting Laughing at farts Did you At least flush in between

Because that would be Why? That's the most uncomfortable part Of this What do you mean? Is like if you go to the bathroom And then you get up And you don't flush

And then he goes on top of it Oh no that didn't happen Okay that would make me Very uncomfortable I don't know why No that would make me Uncomfortable too I mean probably not back then

Clearly it was a while Less back then There was no rules We were shitting in teams Just firing them off In front of each other Yeah We would pee

Into the same bowl All the time Oh well that I feel like Is less weird As siblings I guess Are you across From each other

Peeing into the same bowl Or like No you guys Pissed on that way What do you mean You don't know How to fucking eat I mean it's just

You're in the line of fire No you aim down I know but you guys Stand next to the person And pee into the same bowl So you were standing directly So you basically Hip to hip

Wow We could have been Signing these twins That's pretty crazy Yeah that's what we would do So if you were Wow That's not

Well one of Six o'clock and four o'clock I think I always like to stand at Like four o'clock I get you I get you Let me ask you a question

I don't What Whatever you're gonna ask I don't do No like when you pee Right Yeah Do you pee

Like in line with the toilet Or are you stacked It depends I don't really like Pay attention that much Sometimes I'm a little staggered I never go full on I have a problem

And I'm very well aware That this is a problem And I'm full on Ready to talk about it And maybe work through it I can't just I have an issue And I don't know if it's just because

I grew up in New York City But like I always need to be multitasking To some degree So when I'm peeing I'm trying to do other things What the hell are you talking about So I have peed

And like Thrown away my gum I've peed and like Picked something up off the floor Wait what Yeah You peed and dropped Yeah

Yeah Like LP I always do this I always play a little game Where midstream I flush the toilet And I see what finishes first Oh I try to do that

The pee But I'm not good at it So I stop doing it I've gotten it down to a pretty Pretty good science I've had to double flush Because of that many times There's that point in the pee

Where you start And it's like hot Hot and not like hot On the like sensation Not temperature Not temperature wise But like the flow is good Yeah

You still got a good girthy pee pee In your hands Yeah And then You know what I'm talking about Well yours just fills up like a balloon You gotta piss Doesn't yours

No Well And that's the list of things I gotta tell my doctor Wait so your dick shrinks And just gets like a balloon Well it gets It's just like

It's just You know When I hold up Or if I drink mad water My dick holds water weight That's Thank you Okay

Because I don't pee People Like I also struggle with the idea Of like When do you realize you have to pee Like when it's too late Or like when you're just like I could pee right now

I think when some start spilling Out of the bladder When your bladder gets full And you're like Okay I should probably I play like the edging game You know

Where I let go And if a little more Comes out than I would think Then that's when I know It's time to go Like when it's like really close Oh I don't know What did you just say

The edging game with pee pee Wait so you You let a little pee out You go to Like you release Because you can't just Pea yourself It's like a thing

Our bodies know how to Not pee themselves Not how to pee themselves And so you Actively need to Untense your muscles So I'll Untense my muscles

And if a little Then I'll be like Now it's time to pee But if it's just like There's no like time Before that You don't just have this feeling That you gotta pee

I wait until the last minute So what you're telling me Is that You've urinated There's been some trace Amounts of urine In all of your underwear Every single one

Gotcha Every Now we have an understanding If I'm letting you know If I'm peeing Like if I'm going to pee You've witnessed A little pre-pee

Yeah Can you Can someone explain Like I don't know if people know this But your dick plays tricks on you At least mine does Where it's like

I go take a piss And I stand there And I really empty This penis With all this pee Right And then it gets in there And then like

There's no drip I'm getting it out Everything's done And I'm good And then I pull my pants up And all of a sudden I'm like I can feel this running down my leg

Yeah Where's this extra piss Listen Whoever made that rule More than two shakes You're playing with it Had a very efficient pee-pee Yeah dude

I gotta shake this thing Around like a fucking Like an old wife Shake I milk my dick In public sometimes To get all the pee out Are you kidding me

You gotta like Fuck it Listen Have you ever tried To get the last bit of toothpaste Out of a toothpaste thing And you like roll it up Yeah

I've done that That's what you have to do It's insane I haven't done that I've not rolled up my penis In public Well In private

Let me ask you a question Let's go Come on let's go again Let me ask you a question Hold on We'll go back Have you ever taken The skin of your balls

Yes And put it completely over your dick And then just made this like Mound of like You're like What is this Oh yeah I don't think anyone

Oh yeah Oh yeah I've done that Oh yeah I've done that Because I mean full disclosure My dick's not 10 inches long So I could play games like this

Joey didn't get that gene Everyone else in his family did We can tell you You Sometimes Not all the time Sometimes my ball skin Is a little more taut

But when it's nice And like You know The weather's good And it's a full moon Then I can take The skin of my balls And just wrap it over

Everything Yeah It's like one big ball Oh yeah Oh yeah You go for it baby You gotta Absolutely

I got mad Dick tricks that I do Yeah What other dick tricks I mean you do all the ones from Waiting I assume You do the trampoline And all that

Oh yeah With like water And your ball sack Wait water Yeah like a little bird bath You've talked about this You've talked Yeah yeah

Wait what's the trampoline You never watch that movie waiting I have but I forget Where you stretch the sack out And you just Bounce your pp on top of it Oh I haven't done that

Get a shot Go do it right now I'm not gonna do it right now Why not Because my balls aren't in the right Yeah mine are a little like They know like They have a mind of their own

And they're like When you're recording We're just gonna I'm not even here I'm not even here Pretend I'm not even here Pretend I'm not even here I'm not even here

Pretend I'm gone Oh god No yeah That's a That's quite the dream though Joe Yeah yeah yeah But yeah so me and my brother We used to shit

Sometimes I'd be on the tub Listening to him shitting I Like Keith as a kid for some reason Would take the biggest shits Like they would be like snakes Really? Yeah

But you know who else was like that Editor of the show Josh Take big old snake Oh yeah Snakey poops You know remember he would always Oh

Josh everyone Every friend has this friend group Alright Every friend group has this friend There it is That One person over shares In the group chat

In his shits And a lot of the times it's the poop And that was Josh Josh would on Like a daily basis And pictures of his poop He's very healthy apparently Because

I guess not No I mean if you have a poop That snakes out of the water It's disgusting But also kind of impressive I am You ever get a long poop I am becoming more and more understanding

Of the fact that I I am I am an anomaly when it comes to like Potty humor and bathroom like stuff Like I hate it Yeah I know I hate it

I'm serious Oh I know I know you're serious No jokie joke I know I'm you know For cereal I know you're a cereal right now

That's the part that upsets me the most Is like I wish you were joking You've never taken like a long poop And like in the middle of it You're like this is kind of long I gotta make sure I don't clip it So you kind of like let it I got strategies dude

No you fucking What other What's your other approach to poop No I mean some people like They don't care about the size of their poop And like I don't really Are you a Are you a bring

Are you a bring the book into the bathroom No I get in and out of it Just on the phone No yeah On the phone But I get in and out of there Okay I'd love to know your rules for

For your Your approach to the more efficient poop No it's just you could tell at a certain point That you're like this one has potential here Did you piss yourself? No no no This bulge looks awesome in these pants right now Can I see it?

Yeah you got a big ol' Ricky Martin cock over there Does he have a big dick? I assume I don't know why I don't even think of Ricky Martin I think of Fat Dick I'm not This is a good This is a healthy You know Ricky Martin follows me on Twitter right

Does he? Yeah he doesn't follow a lot of people either Oh I thought it was going to be like Tay Diggs I got followed by Tay Diggs once It was like awesome And it was like he follows like half a million people I was like yeah this sucks No well I have to check now if you see if he still follows

What other like famous people follow you that we can get on the show Ricky Martin? He follows 432 people I'm one of them What? 20 million followers What? Ricky Martin dude Dude Ricky let me see him you still got it?

His picture is of his back but that's a nice back That's a pretty good back That's a pretty good back Still just a smoky mess Let me see let me see updated Damn it's the same First of all you know he's gay right Majorly gay

Big time I think he has he has adopted children Oh but the only thing though is that in this First of all the fit White denim bring it back He looks like a Spanish Don Don Jr Don Jr

Yeah Donald Trump Jr Oh Kinda yeah Yeah you see it right Yeah but like Is he still living La Vida Loca? Is he still like out there performing?

Yeah I mean he's Ricky Martin He's got two songs I know of Living La Vida Loca And she bangs Yeah no there's another one That's that Ricky Martin song that's like fucking awesome Living La Vida Loca Well yeah

That song is so fucking good Beep beep Beep beep Beep beep Those horns hit harder than most things Dude Outside of New York City Da da

Da da Yeah dude oh my god She goes dancing in the rain That's such a good song She made me take her clothes off And go dancing in the rain Something with a bullet to your brain Once you have a taste of her

It'll make you go insane Like a bullet to your brain Come on Ah Dude that song slaps so fucking hard Jesus Christmas How do we get here? Pooping to Ricky Martin

Pooping to Rick speaking of Fat penises Yeah well that's how Speaking of fat penises Probably You heard about this usher thing Which one Where he's just throwing fake dollar bills

Oh yeah yeah he threw usher dollars at him He threw usher dollars I mean listen for the right price Those are collectors items man Take it from a collector pretty soon one day Okay No they're worthless Well I don't yeah I don't know

Isn't that also illegal To do what To like fake money Yeah it is right I read into that story And apparently like he did throw like actual money in there Yeah But then he like threw these like usher dollars at the end

To like promote his next album What a way Yeah I would have thought about that for like Maybe three more seconds This it's just that's a weird place to promote your album Like if you're gonna promote your album anywhere Throw usher dollars off of a fucking building In Miami or something like

Where there's a lot of people Not a lot of people at the strip club I assume nowadays Did you assume wrong? Really? Dude people love butts People need to get their titty on? Yeah people love bouncing butts I don't think the butts is why they go to the strip club Joe

Buts? You can see the butts on the TV They go for the butts What do you think they go for? The boob? Hold on You think people go to strip clubs for butts and not boobs Yeah butts

No Big fat butts on No Wait no Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah You don't think the butt is more Ah ah ah ah ah ah The butt no

Unless you shut up Shut up The butt I didn't say anything about physical contact I didn't say anything about physical contact But if you're going to view something at a strip club You think you're going to view butts or you're going to view boobs Bouncing butts

I think that you Pull Listen Love a good boob But you go to strip clubs for the butts On the basement yard Instagram Put a pole If you were to go to a strip club

What is the reason? That's the question To go to a strip club? Yeah To see To a man or woman Yeah Yo

What does a dude strip club look like? Do they have poles? Do they do pole stuff? I've never pulled it up on your phone I'm sure we could find something Well I'll probably find only that That there's that porno where the guy wears like a bare head And fucks women

Wait what? You never heard What? There's like a porn thing where it's like It's like a male strip club And there's a bunch of women around like Yes, yes, yes And then there's a guy with a bare head

And then he takes it off And eventually like Random women suck him And he fucks one of them And then we go home Oh wait you went? No, we go home like We end the video

You end the video You go home like in wrestling Like alright let's take it home boys Let's go home, yeah Alright Is that like a real place? I don't think so I imagine that does have

I don't know I've never been to Obviously I've never been to a male strip club But I assume that The women that go there Or men that go there No judge Or whatever gender you identify as

I choose to go to a male strip club I assume they're going for the dick Not the butt Well yeah And also just the body So then what's the difference? Big butts What's the difference between a male strip club

And a female strip club If you're looking to go to a male strip club You're going for the cock If you're going for a female strip club Well there's nothing to choose from You're going for the Female equivalent of a cock Well it's more vagina

I don't think anyone's going for vagina though Men don't have vaginas though Except they're asshole Yeah but I'm saying that would be the equivalent The penis is Fair That's an argument for no vagina Yeah

But Let me ask you a question also Yeah Do you think that The asshole on a man And the asshole on a woman Is equidistant to their genital Is it

I don't know if that's You say equidistant Yes What the fuck was that Isn't that like I think If that's a real word I'm going to apologize

But right now it's not So you're an idiot Oh it's definitely a word I just don't know the definition of it Equidistant Like equally distant So why don't you say Are they equally distant

Because I'm trying to Let people know that I know words Okay Go ahead Yeah but do you think It's a different I think I think that the vagina

And asshole on a woman Is extremely close Well they say it's like It's like a half inch apart right Or an inch The opening I've never measured The opening of what

Now we got a google list What's the average distance Between a vagina And I don't think that would be on google You don't google enough my friend Well clearly you don't You don't even know about dancing bear porn

Well that's a porn thing Joey Average distance between I love how it thinks Like coming to like Look at something smart Like average distance between galaxies Between New York and Miami Nope

Between Magina And Anus I was gonna put butthole But that's not the proper term The mean Now we're talking about math

Standard deviation length Of perineum Was 0.9 centimeters The mean anal position index Was 0.4 not Nothing you're saying is Meaning things to me Find the mode in the range

Those were easier There's The results show that the space From the posterior wall of the vagina To the anterior wall of the rectum Is The middle level was Dude there I gotta be honest

They're throwing out a lot of numbers They're throwing out millimeters here Someone's looked too far into this We just wanted a jokie joke answer I know I wish they would just Give me a funny answer I think I'm right I think I'm right

Half inch I'm definitely right Cause the vagina It curls It's different for each It's different for each person For each woman For a person that has a vagina

It's so tough with these I don't know what to say anymore With women? The mean anal position index With a short perineum Frank You never know when to put it down You should have quit five minutes ago

I should have you're right I would assume that Well it's the vaginas are closer To the assholes than the balls are close Yeah That's all I needed You were throwing out decimals to me Like I'm gonna fucking

Be able to decipher it I thought you would I thought you would I can't do simple math without Writing it down That's fair But Yeah so Usher's throwing these dollars

Bad marketing move on his ploy Because it was instantly taken as like These are people He was at a female strip club You know And it was taken out of context He might have been trying to market it But like hey

If they're working people on that stage Don't throw fake money at them Yeah You know Give them a healthy tip And then you know Like afterward Be like yo by the way

It's me Usher I'm trying to promote my new album Why are you talking like that Like Michael Jackson This is Usher Trying to promote my new album Here's some Usher bucks Yeah

Maybe it's just a heads up From Usher would have been like fine But I don't think he gave them that Yo how mad would you be If you were a stripper If you were a male stripper And someone's throwing fake money at you Like who's the female equivalent of Usher

Rihanna She can't dance though Can't she That was a big fucking claim That you just made I've never seen Rihanna's not known for dancing Now Rihanna can move those fucking hips

She can move the hips But she's not a known dancer Usher is a Oh she's not gonna like hip hop dance Sierra This beat is Automatic Supersonic

Hypnotic Funky fresh Yeah she could dance Her fucking ass off Yeah You remember when everyone thought she was a guy Yeah what was that She was like a hermaphrodite

Or something at some point I don't think that's A socially accepted term anymore Really? I don't know Oh I don't know I don't know that's why I'm saying this That's the only term that I know

I will not The person will remain nameless But I was streaming on Twitch not long ago And someone just full on let out Like called someone a tyranny I was like oh Is tyranny offensive

I think it is an offensive term now Yeah Why? I think it's just like It's just like a It had a negative connotation to it And like it was given Like a social stigmatization

Yeah but so was gay But you're gay Yeah but I think Not you But the term isn't Like the term is transitioning I don't know But it was just funny

It was funny I mean But uh Yeah remember everyone was like Yo Sierra's a man You're like Vestite I don't know I don't know all these

Things now Joey Transvestite Like that was the one I feel like that was the first one I knew Transgender is like a new one That's That I like just learned to like Not just learned to

You want me to google transvestite What it means You're big on the phone today I mean I like guessing Okay so guess And I'll tell you if you're right Transvestite I honestly sounds like clothing

Honestly like a vest That's a tight vest A slim fitting vest That's a tight vest A transvestite A reversible vest That is slim fit So a transvestite is

A transvestite Yo you're actually You're actually A transvestite is a reversible vest That is slim fitting Yeah that's what it is Transvestite Tight

Tight Yo you're actually Like pretty on the nose What is it It's a person who dresses in clothes Primarily associated with the opposite sex I thought that was metrosexual No metrosexual is like

They're like super hyper Like into their fashion And stuff like that Okay Oh but this is Okay so this would be like Cross dressing Yes yes yes yes

Okay okay Where transgender is people People that are Transitioned between the gender Gotcha Well to be honest That's probably Then I have some clarity now

But that makes sense You were pretty good Out with the clothes though That's pretty good I like the best one That's pretty close What the fuck are you talking about We got to usher

Oh Sierra Sierra Sierra Sierra, Sierra I don't know Anyway that is a beautiful woman I remember in like 2006 It was like

Oh you think she's good looking She's a guy I beg dude I'll suck her then Oh yeah Dude she's Beautiful I remember internally

Having that debate Like yo Sierra is Hypnotic funky fresh But I think I've been told she might be a guy I do want those goodies I was like

Where do I stand here Like I remember that And remember Olivia From fucking G-Unit Wait what You don't remember The rumor was that her and Sierra Were also men

You don't remember Olivia I honestly don't know who that is You don't remember Olivia From fucking G-Unit She pulled the phone out She did the hook for Candy Shop I think it's in Candy Shop Uh huh

I wanna thank some wood I got Yeah I know that song But I don't remember who Olivia is I mean she looks very different But this is what she looked like Back in the day I don't remember her What

Yeah I can't believe you don't remember her But that was the thing It was like that's not a woman That's a man Yeah I think they said that About a lot of people I think they said that about

Jamie Lee Curtis didn't they Uh no Maybe I don't know I don't know But I know with Jamie Lee Curtis She had to get I think she had to get like

Breast Reduction or something like that Because she was so uncomfortable With her boobs Why she had big Apparently she had fangs on her I only remember Jamie Lee Curtis from Uh

Uh not Conair What's that move True Lies True Lies Yeah Do it Do it slow God I love that movie

Oh man you know what I watched recently The fucking Arnold Schwarzenegger prank Phone calls the pizza plate Arnold Schwarzenegger's pizza place If you want something crazy Like pineapple I'll break off your heart People don't know that

He's like maybe I'll get you pepperoni Or maybe I'll staple it dude Dude if there are There are certain videos And like things from the internet That are like at the base of like humor On the internet That's one of them

Yeah That's one of them If you guys don't know what we're talking about Go Google Arnold Arnold's Pizza Shop Hello welcome to Arnold's Pizza Shop What do you think is the video That

Like in that category Is like the OG Like everyone should Like knew this video And like whatever It's gonna be really fucked up Because it's clearly very dated And it is not

But at the time It was everywhere Was the ding fries are done Oh my god yes You remember that Wow that is so racist looking back It's also like Oh not racist

It was against like Against like people with Mental challenges Mental disabilities Yeah it was So for those of you guys that don't know It was an obvious character You know like an inflated

Fucking version I don't even know what you're talking about It was an inflated version Of what people expressed It was like someone who had Down syndrome Yes but it was a very Like it was over the top

Yeah And they were singing about It was like the Like I'm taking order at a McDonald's At a Burger King Oh a Burger King I work at Burger King Making paper whoppers

I wear paper hats Would you like an apple pie with that But they did it And it was really offensive But that was one of them But the one I was thinking of Is end of the Z world End of the Z world

That's a big one There's also the Super Mario Bros Do you remember that one Yes I feel like those videos Like everyone knows them Everyone knows them They're like

But not the younger I feel like we were the youngest You could possibly be Yeah because People younger than this would know What that is No no no no no Like if you remember

FunnyJunk.com And E-bombs world Then you know what we're talking about Right If you don't know either of those Places or things No idea Like oh the Numa Numa video

It's huge That was Apparently ruined that kid's life Why Yeah apparently he was like Yo I got bullied Because people saw the video And instead of being like

Yo this is hilarious They were like Yo look at this fat piece of shit Wow And he got bullied Because he was a heavier boy Meanwhile If that happened in this day and age

This kid would have a tiktok career And he'd be making millions Oh he'd be on every Doritos commercial ever Oh yeah Are you kidding me This guy would have been a bajillionaire Yeah But

Unfortunate sign of the times Numa Numa And then the Star Wars kid You don't remember that one The kid in the garage With the lightsabers No Oh yeah that was a big one

It was parodied by Arrested Development I don't know But you know it's Good all internet Being soups offense Oh yeah oh yeah Speaking of

I've been watching that documentary On QAnon On HBO Max I'm not gonna get too much into it Because I don't want to Stray Yeah But it

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I thought you were getting a phone call Why? I heard like a Might have been a bus Oh Might have been a bus I don't know All right

Joey Yes Something that we watched before That we said we were going to talk on the show Talk about on the show Apparently We're approaching White boys summer

Oh yeah We're approaching white boys summer White boys summers In full effect I think For those of you guys who don't know Chet Hanks Who The son

The son of Tom Hanks Which I know it's still surprising Yeah You know It's like the Lord Giveth and the Lord Taketh The Lord gave us Tom Hanks America's dad

If you believe in certain conspiracies Drinking blood from babies Is that what they're doing? Apparently In like the basement of like a pizza place in DC And then the Lord Taketh and gave us his son Okay Chet Hanks

Chet Hanks Yeah, with an X Hanks Hanks Yeah So Chet Hanks Declared that it's white boys summer And he also had some rules too

Yeah Because not just any white boys But the whole And this is the thing Hasn't every summer been white boys summer If any race and gender Is going to get the summer It's going to be white boys

You heard this You hear them guys I mean it's I'm not agreeing with it They would probably take it And then call it discovering land Oh my god You heard it here first

Oh my god But like If you had to assign A certain type of people To Let's get stereotypical Let's do it We have four seasons

Right Well yeah What's a solstice? The solstice It's like the Like the It's basically a time of the year It's like something to do with like the

Equator and moon And shit like that And the sun You could have just said you don't know No I do Summer There's only two solstices Summer and winter solstices

Solstice And I think about it Sol Sol Sol is like part of the word Solar Yeah sun It has to do with like

What about stis Stis I think it's like a time Okay Sun time Sun time Winter time Well I do know

From what I remember In earth science is When it's our summer solstice It's when we're Technically we're getting The most direct sunlight That's why it's longer Or something like that

Because the earth In addition to rotating And revolving It tilts like this During the year So when we're Since we're in the northern hemisphere And this is the sun

It tilts like that So we get the most Direct sunlight And then when it's in the winter It's like that Gotcha Okay But spring

Who's got the spring The middle The equator Spring and fall I'm talking about the people What do white people get Well besides everything I think white women take the fall

That's pretty clear Oh yeah White women They like pumpkin shit You own fall Pumpkin Pumpkin pick Pick a tappa

Pumpkin picking Apple picking Flannel Flannels Pumpkin spice Large hoodies Yeah it was like blanket It looked like a blanket

That way Yeah Uggs Big Uggs Big Ugg girls Black leggings Oh photo shoots in the leaves Oh

Yeah white girls Which I see those And by the way I just think That's tick city baby You better hope that you don't get Lines when you're walking away Yeah my dog's pissed on mad leaves Yeah

Don't do that There are like animals That live in those too Yeah You might jump in with a possum Yeah But I was gonna say fucking What was I gonna say

I don't know Damn it You son of a bitch White women have fall Oh fall or autumn Fall Cause I don't have brown hair Do you think people with brown hair

Say autumn Dude people with brown hair Autumn's kind of pretentious Autumn Why do we have two names For one of these Just leave it in fall I'm sure there's a scientific reason

Fuck it Yeah it's called the fall So white women White women have the fall They can take that If they have anything Give them that Who gets the winter

Man I think if there's no way That white people get the warmer season Yeah no I'm gonna say that I'm not gonna go with a race and gender here I'm gonna say the rich get the winter Why

Because they can either live in it And bask in fucking glory Giant ass fucking houses Ski happier places Wow yeah And hot cocoa And like rugs that are made out of an animal Yes or

Extinct Or they just escape it Yeah And they don't need to do it They get on a boat Yeah notice how the snow is always prettier When you have money That's a great point

Right Yeah You know when you gotta get your ass up And trek through it To go to work It's fucking miserable But when you have When you're rich like you

You just bask in this snow So I'm gonna say The fall is the white women Winter is for the rich Alright so then we have spring and summer So spring Spring's a tough one Yeah

Spring's a tough one Spring is tough Spring might be for everybody I think spring is interchangeable Because it could be a little cold still It could be warmer It could be in the middle There could be a lot of rain

April showers may flowers Is that true? Yeah Look at these showers today Where's the flowers? They're coming They're coming But summer

And I could say this It's for the Hispanics Without a doubt It is Because you go to the park dude At least in New York These are all New York answers by the way Yeah but I don't care about

What it's like Also we don't know It's just fucking boyzy Yeah So I I have never seen Specifically I would say Mexican people

I've never seen them like How do you know they're Mexican Joey? You just do Oh Get them You just do They could be El Salvadorian They could be Ecuadorian

They could be from anywhere Yeah I will just go and use an umbrella And say the Hispanic community Okay I'll do that They love They're all about the summer

They're all about volleyball Have you been in You During the summer What will you say are the times When you're indoors Bars I mean not recently

Because of the Yeah so like Wait okay Bars What other times are you indoors Restaurants Sometimes Yeah

Honestly Have you ever during the summer Seen Hispanic people inside Big outdoor people Big outdoor people They don't stay inside Yeah They're like

They're like cicadas Once it's time They're out Cicadas Oh my God And then they go Thank God you said that I know I could say

Because I I'm Colombian I'm not B.J. Yates They also like For whatever reason Communicate very well With each other

Because there's always Like There's always 20 Like whenever I go to the park There's 20 of them playing Like volleyball And it's like

How did you go Like I can't get five of my friends To do anything Yeah Every day That's true They're like You have a group chat with 60 people

And it'll be like Yo we're all going to the park To show up Yeah I'm with you on that one I think like a full soccer game Like Dude

I can't get any of my friends To play basketball Or play soccer or whatever Yeah The Hispanic We know how to communicate We know how to communicate And I'll tell you why

Outdoorsy too We all know That the white man's Trying to break us up So it's all just Stay together all the time You know But I'll tell you this

It's definitely not white boys summer Yeah Dude we burn in the sun Look at you guys Yeah look at me Look at you You think this man Likes the summer

I do like the summer You like it because You get to drink outside But it's not mine You like it because You can get away With being a drunk idiot In public

Well You can I like the warm I like the warm sun But like Chet Hanks out here What did he say He's like

Oh this is not for This is for like The Jack Harlow's Yeah You know the Who else did he name Do you remember anyone else John B

I don't know who that is Well it's And then he named himself And then he named himself These are the pioneers I guess He also had rules Which I did write down Yeah he's like

These are the rules And regulations for white boys summer Rule number one Chet Hanks is white boys summer Yeah No plaid shirts Frank's very upset I don't wear a lot

Of plaid That's true I have like two You'd have more than me Two That's still more than zero I agree So no plaid shirts boys

Yeah White boys in particular Listen white boys No plaid shirts I guess now He also said You either wear like A plain white shirt

Or a black shirt That's what he said Which You know Okay Okay I He did not talk about

Hawaiian shirts So we're safe there I I would I would He doesn't approve No way he would I don't know

I don't know Alright So then what about What about black boys What about Hispanic boys What about Asia boys Are they allowed to wear plaid shirts I assume

He's making the rules He said white boys He's making it So Joey If I see you with a plaid shirt In the summer You're dead I'm calling Chet

Okay He also said Now this one Felt a bit of an attack on me No spary top-siders Yeah That's That one hurts

That's where Franky lives That's his spot Sparries are the ultimate shoe They're comfortable Now we're getting a little insane They're comfortable They could be worn in any weather They're kind of breathable

And You can wear them with socks and or without Get out the water Sparries on baby Yeah Oh you're in the sand Sparries on They're the ultimate summer shoe

Oh you're in the sand Do you own any sparies I used to I don't know Damn we gotta get you back on that spary train babe Yeah I gotta buy myself some more sparies Yeah I don't know

I'm not allowed Why not Oh during the summer you're not allowed Yeah You can wear them outside the summer I'm gonna wait until fall Okay Alright

Now that one hurt This one had me dying laughing Rule number three White boys summer No calling girls smoke shows Oh she's a fucking smoke show Which That is super

That is white That is very plaid white That's very That's very I'll tell you this Spary plaid white Spary plaid white But it's also very college

Yeah I don't think outside of college I called a woman a smoke show I do The second I graduated I was like She's beautiful Wait what I do that like

Like fun Like to be funny Like oh Yeah That's the point Yeah Is that you do it to make fun of people Yeah I'm not like dead serious

Like no no no dude She's a show of smoke Yeah why is a smoke show a good thing I don't really know Smoke Have you ever been What is a smoke show No I don't know

Is it like You know like they do like laser shows Do they do it with like smoke I'd go see it The blue man group or something Blue man group doing smoke You ever been to blue man group No I'd love to though

I bet I went Is it good It's kind of cool A lot of paint A lot of paint I hear A ton of paint A lot of PVC pipe I hear as well Oh I mean it's all PVC baby

It's all PVC It's exclusively PVC A lot of plumbing I bet I bet So that one I think is a little mean as well There's another one I remember No vineyard vines Did he say no vineyard vines

Yeah he did That one hurts Yeah I love vineyard vines I don't think I have anything in there I don't either because I'll tell you this Don't have the ability to afford it Very expensive

Dude one time Do you remember when we went to the outlets before Vegas Dude I picked up a tie He's like that'll be 82 I was like that'll be back on your rack Yeah I remember we were looking through We specifically went to look at their bathing suits

Because I will say them And free plug here also for chubbies Great bathing suits I just bought some chubbies Did you I'm gonna have to buy me some chubbies Also because your boy Just like the brand

Has gotten a little chubby A little chubby I was only hurt I was trying to be on your team That really hurt Vineyard vines is a good place man But it's expensive Yeah

I knew a kid that had a vineyard vines shirt And every Like You know how like shirts are like They're like the breasts The bottom part The back and then the top part Every part was a different color

And it was like pastel yellow Pastel blue Pastel orange Pastel green Did you beat him up I wanted to I wanted to so bad He would have deserved it I think

He was heavier though So I would have been in charge Like in trouble Not in charge I would have been in charge I would have been in charge I would have been in trouble I would have been in charge

The last one he had here Was burn all salmon colored clothes Why did white boys do that Salmon colored I mean that is The white dudes love running away With the pink sometimes Salmon colored pants

Sperries with tube socks And a plaid shirt Long sleeve in the summer That's a white That's a white That's a white outfit I'm going to call my dad kind of white Oh my god

Do you know who my father is Type of white That's what it is And his father doesn't even know Who he is So in a company Accompanying these rules Was a music video

Oh yeah He put out a song called White Boy Summer A lot of shaken butts A lot of shaken butts He was also dressed Like very weirdly I mean I feel like he had

Basketball shorts on And he was shirtless the whole time Wasn't he No there was a scene Where he was dressed Like a cholo Was he Yeah

The fucking He had like a brown shirt Opened The button down Oh like the white The top button open Yeah yeah And then like the vans

With the socks Oh no And it's like You're like We know what you're doing here Really? Yeah My favorite was

When he wore the shirt That said stop hate Yeah So fucking stupid I mean there is hate out there And we want to stop it Listen I get it I get it

We all want to stop Oh he was selling merch too At the end Yeah yeah yeah yeah That said white boy summer And then one said All praises All praise

Something like that High praise There was also one that said Black Queen summer I saw that So who's the summer going to Well there's gonna be a There's gonna be a battle

Or there's gonna be a compromise I hope there's not a battle Between the whites And the blacks Because that might be A little too real Yeah I don't wanna know Am I going down that path

I just I This is One of my favorite And least favorite things About celebrities And I know we spoke about this Or like the imagine video It's like

They have Like I know His mind Is to bring people together Maybe not anyone but white boys But like with the stop hate shirt Like I get I get

It's meant to be Like a Yeah let's stop Let's stop hate man I want to really stop hate out there But it is so fucking stupid Because it's like In what world do you think

A shirt That says stop hate Is going to do anything I don't know The hater The hater merch stuff Like It makes me hate more

Right You know No one sees Something that says like Stop hate Or the ones that say coexist Let me just Let me just say this

If I see a car drive by Right Regular license paid I don't even Nothing happens to me Don't even see the driver But If a car drives by

And I don't see the driver I see nothing But there's license plate That says hi hater I hate that man Yeah You know what I mean Okay hello to you too

Yeah hello hello You have made You have made me one I'm the hater now That is Manifest destiny right there You are You are manifesting it

Yeah Good job I just I hate that I hate that so much If you're going to wear a shirt This is stop hate You're starting hate

Because I hate you Yeah It should be like Contain hate Just for me Because I'm wearing the shirt Just for that person I'm wearing the shirt

It's just a contain hate Contain it I love everyone around you Because they're not Wearing that shirt You You ruined it I hate you

Yeah Exactly The music video Was interesting The song wasn't as bad As I thought it was going to be The beat was Was on point

Yeah I can't believe that's Tom Hanks' son Isn't it weird The apple fall Felt So far from the tree You know

Is Exactly What he's not allowing this summer Chet Hanks is saying Like these These are the rules I don't know His dad

Is a plaid shirt Sperry's white Yeah I would I would say so I just It's just so funny to me Like how is that

Tom Hanks And Is Rita Wilson The mom Howard Her From jingle all the way

I I couldn't tell you Like You know when you look at someone And you're like That's just a phase They'll grow out of it What happened to Chet

Chet's been out here He was also draped in A Jamaican flag At one point Yeah What Actually not at one point About like seven points

And then At one point He's like White boy summer White boy summer And then just Busts out And just

Like Just starts Like Whoa Chill Slow down The conversation with his dad Go

I'll be Who do you want me to be Oh I'm definitely being Tom Hanks Because I'm not touching that But We're like No

What Why are you shaking I'm doing my Tom Hanks impression Go ahead Hello son Why are you shaking I assume he's a shaky guy You're kind of like

What's his name Who am I thinking of Harry Carey Yes From Oh well The other day Yeah

No I You know It's a heavy video I encourage everyone to go watch it though White boy summer For some reason I had only 16,000 views on it

I was astounded by that Yeah He said he was Shadowband By YouTube By YouTube For what

For being Chet Hanks For stopping hate You can't call a song White boy summer And not expect To get in trouble for it Why

Call it like Every one summer This is gonna be An every one summer Yeah But it's not But he's saying Exactly

It's not going to be that But that's why you should get Shadowband Because you're promoting White supremacy Well This is a stretch I don't know Think about it

If I released a song That was like Yo This summer I don't think there was a single white person in it Just Except for him Yeah

Which is If I released a song It was like Yo Only white boys this summer Yo you wanna hang out Guess what it's gonna be A white boy summer

But that's What's he saying then I think that he just thinks That they're gonna be winning What if they've been losing I don't I don't know I don't really know

Where the competition lies I just know That's what he means But like This is the thing You know Actually Hold on

I'm gonna back up a little bit I don't want to get Too political here But it's like The way that people discuss Maybe it's the Maybe he's trying to get it across The way that people discuss

Like the Black Lives Matter movement You I'm gonna stop you now Cause you've gone too far But listen No because What people are in Like the Black Lives Matter

Black Lives Matter movement Is not saying Black Lives Matter more They're not saying Black Lives are the only one that matter They're saying We also matter So maybe

Chet Hanks is trying to say No You're making a comparison That is so Like Chet Hanks He's not making He's

The only thing he is saying He doesn't have it in him To make that like Political No there isn't There isn't a political agenda It's just him being like Yo

White boys In a Jamaican accent Yeah That's pretty much it Bad look Well I I have no idea How it is going to be received

It's pretty new To my understanding But Yeah I I'm not quite sure How it is I haven't seen the internet on this yet So I can't really

Speak for how they're receiving it Yeah I don't know But it's I don't know if it will I'm sorry Chet I don't You might be mistaken Man listen

I'm on your side I don't know I am right on the middle In this one I am not I don't think I'm not taking a side I'm not that far off

If you're just sitting there Saying You know like White boys summer Why can't it be Summer for everybody It's kind of rough here For everyone

Let's be honest Yeah So like Make it like an All inclusive summer That'd be a better song I'll take any summer Hey man

It's an inclusive summer Yeah That has a ring to it Well No We can make a wrap out of that Right now No we can't

Hey man It's been an inclusive summer We all know the last year Has been a bummer I'm here And I'm driving in a Hummer And I'll do this

Right now And I'll make your Inclusive summer Where can they find you Frank? That's how you're Going to allow me to end the show Well You want to end on

A high note usually So Oh And Alvers8085 On Twitter and on Twitch The Frank Alvers on Instagram Coming out with me on Twitch And check me out

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