The Basement Yard - #293 - The Keys To Success

Episode Date: May 10, 2021

Frank & Joe give you the Keys To Success that they found on some random idiot's finance meme page. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement. Yeah, I can't say what you just said say what you just said. I said I forgot This episode Frank is leaning over to turn the camera on he goes I Forgot about something that made me horny as a kid So I you know You know I collect toys and I recently you know gone down the rabbit hole of you know some old Power Rangers stuff that I used to watch and or collect and I remember there was an episode that I Remember now as an adult like yo, I got horny watching this what happened in it the Power Rangers Faced off against an enemy that was like a big caricature of like Italian pizza makers and

He would he would throw pizza this was empowering just turbo. It was the third He would throw pizzas. It was the third season. I think mm-hmm and He would throw pizzas that were like bombs or they would like take care like control of people's minds And he baked the Power Rangers into a pizza and I remember I was like I remember seeing the Power Rangers like engulfed in this pizza And it did it for me. I don't know why I don't I don't know why And they got rescued by another power blue centurion was his name But I remember seeing that and being like yo, this is kind of this is kind of nice It was like I don't know I don't know how to explain it

So Hypothetically if I baked a Power Ranger action figure into a pizza your dick would not move It would not I don't it would not. Yeah, something would happen. I'm not saying what would happen. I'm not saying what wouldn't happen, right? But it was a Something happened for sure. You know, I was discovering myself a little bit Okay You're gonna tell me that there were never things that wouldn't otherwise as an adult have made you horny that you remember from it Like being a kid that like you look back and like holy shit. That was weird. Yeah, just like pressure any sort of pressure You just someone just push up against your groin. You ever like when you're young you just kind of like push on your dick like this

and it kind of felt nice The battle between man and penis was yeah, it was nice. So yeah, I guess that was a different battle ground By the way, I just want to like I know I commented on it on the patreon But you're still wearing that thing a headband and you're now you're wearing a jean jacket And you just look like a woman who's wants to fight over a parking space. Well, I'm not gonna say I'm not Also, is that like a black eyed piece shirt or something? First of all, if you ever thought I'd wear a fucking black eyed piece Doesn't that look like the music video? It might it might look like a music video for a black eyed piece But no, hold on. Can we just talk about black eyed piece for a second? I don't go ahead. Yeah

I don't want anyone to forget that they made a song That was on the radio and it was a hit and it was called. Let's get retarded. Yes So, yeah, I just want to say that and also I just want to say this and like I know it's offensive, but come on. This is hilarious The song started with furky Just just going And then the song started. Oh my god really bad You know for that a black eyed piece. Yeah, I mean looking back on it, you know, not as they change that real quick

Let's get it started now. I saw a commercial the other day that I forgot existed That we I told you we'll do something, but I'll give you a fucking little glimpse It was these two girls out at like a fucking like They're like buying shirts or something and they're like the girl puts on a shirt and she's like, oh my the other girl goes Oh my god, that's gay What I swear this was on tv. It was a commercial It was a commercial which hey, don't fucking that was the message of the commercial and then hillary deathlocks I was like, hey guys, I'm hillary death

Don't say that that's offensive and the girls are like what it was just like I forgot the shit existed That was a real thing. Yeah, and I was like I was like first of all good messaging. Don't do that, you know, but But the fact that it was on tv these people just be like, yo, that's gay Also, like if you're trying to prevent something to put it out there on tv, don't put it on tv Yeah, absolutely I'm trying to think. Ah the good ol early Outs, what is what do we call that the odds the early 2000s? I guess 2000s the odds

Everything it was a wild west in terms of how you spoke to people. Yeah, I guess so I remember I as an insult I called someone Tupperware Excuse me. I called I apologized since and continue to apologize for there was a a girl that we knew that was a larger stature And I called her Tupperware as like an eight-year-old because because in my head I thought This was the most clever insult because she holds a lot of food. Yes I thought it was a good insult Did she just look back and even go she was that fucking suck. No, she should have though that would have crumbled my whole life

But no, she told her parents. Oh nice. They got involved with my parents and it was a big ordeal. Yeah Nice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So your mom probably fucking thrashed you. You know, um Verbally, probably. Yeah, my mom wasn't a big hitter. No, she was a big screamer though Big ol screamer from like a different room not even looking at you Dude, I mean to this day my mom can let it just just let it go. She'll let it rip. You know, she's uh, she's yelled at me For no reason. Has she yelled at you for sherds. I know I remember the first time she yelled at kief Yeah, I remember the first time she yelled at Keith was on new years. Oh that I remember we would always have people over on new years and

You know people would bring like fucking food and stuff and Keith walked over and in Keith fashion He picked up a piece of salami with two hands looked at it and then put it down and did it like Two or three more times a piece of salami. Yeah, and my mom was like Keith Don't do that. Yeah, and and I I'm sure it you know at the time startled him but My mom. Yeah, you might just scream me for like dumb shit. I don't remember. Oh, welcome to the club Yeah, yeah, welcome to the club. What's the like most aggressive like scream that has ever been like thrust upon you The way you just said that what I was like a scream that has been thrusted on like what's a scream? You really remember like wow screamed at me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

I can't really remember honestly like my mom did a fair amount of screaming back in my day Your mom does have some bass. Yeah, don't let her fool you. She's got a she's a baritone Put it like that ladies that bitch could sneeze too. She she sneezes you can hear from next door first of all You just called your mom a bitch. Yeah, that's wild. Yeah, please don't tell her I said that No, but she sneezes and it's like She's one of those my mom is the same way just so loud. I hate I I'm one of those people that fucking hate sneezing I don't think anyone has like a stance on I hate sneezing Is there anyone there who like like well actually that don't answer that

They're definitely people that like well we talk to someone who has a sneezing fetish on what another people's life Look at you go and plug in a way, baby. Yeah No, my mom was one of those like shotgun sneezers. She'd be like Oh, that just sounds like a falcon. That's what my mom sounded like a shotgun sneezes more like a No, that's I sneeze like that sometimes do you you ever try to sneeze with your mouth open hilarious? No, I've never done that No, I've never done that. It don't I have to try your throat pops. Really? Yeah. Oh, no, I have to try it You ever do one of those things where you like sneeze fart choke or sneeze fart burp the sneeze fart burp

A snarf. Are you are you having a stroke right now? No, I sneeze fart burp at the same time No, I've never had that sneeze fart burp. How would that be pronounced snarp? Snarp, it's a snarp. It's a snarp. Yeah, or or it's a it's a barese I don't ever mind. Let's just move forward What the fuck was that? I don't know. No, I've never I've never done that. Dude, the trifecta is crazy I I I will say I have almost like died From like trying to hold in a sneeze because like now my thing is like I sneeze at night You're allergic to the darkness. I guess so and like with the baby sleeping in the room

I try to hold it in. Oh, so I I I oh, I never do that I try not to and like I had one the other night where it was like And like my whole fucking I swear to god. I thought my head was gonna pop. Yeah, I yeah, that's dangerous I honestly don't know what's gonna happen if you do that often, but The people that the people that do that all the time. I'd rather I hate people who sneeze like that Oh, I'm like, yo You're gonna that's gonna end up being bad one day. They're gonna blow their asshole out of their fucking body Yeah, your rectal rim is gonna fucking we know your boss is like that

He holds it in that bus I can't oh my god. I want to fuck. Oh I'm like, yo Chill, you know, I fucking hate that shit so much. Yeah, so much something else. I hate or you know what I do a lot I don't know why my body just he he loves doing this Uh pump fakin pump fakin Oh Yeah, I pump fakes these like I thought you were talking like

Like you like walk the fucking like you like walk down your hallway and you're just like Like you like no fucking like a year old step. Yeah. No, I'm talking about like I go to sneeze. I'm like Oh, I look the dumbest like the dumbest person in the world that when that happens because I'm one of those people that like If I have to sneeze I'll look at a light and it'll make it come out. Yeah, so I'll be like Yeah, yeah, and it just goes away or do you have do you know those people like you're like You're pump faking and then everyone's looking at you like Say watermelon and you're like that's not gonna do a fucking thing I do that back. We'll be like going to season. I'll be like pineapple and she'll be like

And she's like oh now I can't see. I don't know why it just stops her from sneezing. It works. Oh, man. Yeah, um Speaking of pineapple though, joey. I have a list of things that uh Speaking of pineapple. Yeah, we got a pineapple. Did you just pave it off of pineapple? Damn fucking right. I did baby Before I get to this though, you can go check out patreon patreon.com slash the face of the yard We're almost at 85 We're at 83 as of as of recording right at 83 if we get to 85 joey now you're doing a power hour episode Uh first part of your trip to get your enemas on there. Yeah, that was embarrassing. Yeah, that was just embarrassing You know speaking of blowing butts out uh part two will be up soon. I assume. Yes

Are you excited? No, I'm actually a little worried. You're worried to get your butt blown out not Not worried about it getting blown out. I'm just worried about I'm not worried as much as I am like Here's what I'm thinking. Yeah, I'm going to set up my phone In my bathroom and I'm going to be face down ass up And then I'm gonna have the camera on my face And obviously I'm not gonna show my ass. Why not? Why do it in the bathroom? There's not a lot of space in there Just do it in your living room Because what if there's leakage? I mean if you're laying down

You'll be fine. It's when you roll over or stand up. That's when you got a problem. Well, I don't want to have any I'm doing it in the bathroom. You just got to run. Yeah, I'm not doing that. Okay And then I'm just thinking about how weird that's going to be and I have to come to grips with that It's it's uh a weird feeling knowing that you're you're getting cream pied Um, but you you know, you just you figure it out. What was the last time you had something up your butt? That wasn't already in well. Yeah, like something placed in your butt. Uh, I don't I don't think I don't know I don't know if I ever you've never gotten like you've never gone and they've done like a colorectal exam or something Oh, so this is the first time anything is going in your butt. I

That you share I mean, I No, I've never been like blasted or fingered or anything, but I I think maybe I why did you start with blast? Because I figured that's where you were going. Oh Um, but I feel like I feel like I've probably like wiped my ass too hard and I accidentally slipped. I fell him You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like quick saying back there. So sometimes you fall in Um, but yeah, no, I've never like yo, we're in word. What's up? Like it's never been like that. Yeah Well, okay, but so that'll be my first introduction to the you know, but whole play you might come out of change man after this

I'm breaking my hymen essentially. You're literally breaking your hymen. I think there's a protective layer over your asshole I wonder if it's going to be dope if it's going to be if there's if it's going to be whack But there's going to be an undertone of like that was kind of cool though You know what guys stay tuned go check out patreon.com slash the base of New York to get the uh first and second Parts of joey's end of a trip. He might come out just a butt play boy. You might just be all about it I might just be spraying that hole all day Not all day. Yeah, well, you also get every weekly episode a week in advance get uh, you know Access to the jokes and stuff before people do and then an extra episode every friday exclusive content every single friday

What was this pineapple pivot you were doing? Well, so no So I haven't listed things that like people debate all the time and as we do since we're the smartest people we know Right, we're gonna end the debate. We're the smartest people in this room Yes, we are. Yeah, absolutely. Uh, that's for sure. Who's smarter me or you three two one me Well, we're both right technically. We said me best friends. Um, what did you say best friends? Wow But I haven't listed things that we're just gonna fucking like final like cool This is people are gonna cite this in their papers hammering the coffin just Well hammering the nail into the coffin the nail nail in the coffin. Yeah

Wait a hammers one you hammer hammer hammer the nail into the coffin. Well, you don't need to hammer it You can use it. Well, you can't put a nail in the coffin unless you hammer it. You can do a nail gun That's true. But you can also put a hammer in a coffin. You never know what people want to get buried with That's true. It could be a construction guy three items you have right now. You want to get buried with three two one go Uh hammer cheeseburger and probably like some socks You're pretty you're a pretty interesting guy. I don't know. I don't know what any of that says about me All right, number one good final. This is it pineapple and pizza never had it I'm not a big pineapple girl. Are you a big cooked fruit boy?

um Not really honestly, I kind of like it fresh and like wet Okay, I like I like fresh wet fruit. Oh, yeah, that was more. There you go. Not that dry shit Take notes. Yeah, no, um But pineapple and pizzas that's something that yet you could jive with I I don't really like pineapple Because it's like it it makes my tongue feel like weird I it like stings kind of you're very allergic to like acidic fruit I'm not allergic to it. It's just and it's it is very acidic. So it makes my tongue feel weird

Yeah, fair enough. Uh, I once bit through a pineapple's outer shell couldn't it couldn't talk for like well for like a day and a half It sucked Why because it was so acidic it fucked my mouth up. Oh, yeah So pineapple and pizza. Where are you going? Fuck that. It's track. I know the I hate to be on the internet side because I know they're all like, oh, it's like the classic question Yeah, ask everyone. It's like you pineapple pizza. It's like, you know, whatever Uh, but I just I just don't like pineapple like that. So No, I mean I like pineapple

But I also don't like cooked fruit and I feel like on pizza. You don't want to be overly sweet I feel like I'm gonna bite into you Yeah, you know like one of those usually you could put like anything on a pizza and it's gonna be fucking good But for this what anything? Well, not if you're gonna like no, I mean like ketchup Oh, no, well, I'm talking about like foods Ketchup's not a food as a condiment ketchup is a food. No, it's not the way you eat it No, it's not. You know, it is a food that a ketchup's made out of 10 mates. Yeah, it's already on there. Well, there you go

Psychopath. All right. I'm saying for sure No fucking pineapple on pizza. It's done. No pineapple on pizza. Okay. All right. The next one I have joey Pineapple's like the 10th best fruit Maybe. All right. Give me your top 10 I can't. Okay. Number two mustard Now listen, I know a lot of people like mustard. I know you hate it. I fucking hate it right I will give people this though. What about honey mustard?

Sex also Dijon. I don't never had it. I don't know the difference. I mean either I this is what I will say I think if we're gonna get rid of a mustard just get rid of that yellow mustard The one that looks like it comes in a fucking like fish or price bottle It literally looks like paint Why do we need it? Yeah, there are people that are like, oh, it's like legit like good like Dijon Fucking nice mustard is good Fuck it

Fuck it. I'm I like I I don't I don't like mustard like that Like I would never get like a hot dog and just put mustard on and eat it but I Do think that mustard serves a purpose in a sandwich when it's like hidden in like some ham and some salami Are you ready for this? You legit a mustard tastes like throw up No, why not? I how do I debate that exactly you don't because it's true No, I mean, I don't think it tastes like throw up. It tastes like fucking throw up My throw up usually tastes like old soup

And it actually looks like old soup now that I think about it It's fucking gross. Yeah, or like marinara sauce sometimes That actually sounds kind of delicious, but like without it being cool. Oh so bad marinara uncool marinara sauce. That sounds about right Uh, I I mean I stand with mustard Mustard stays dude. Mustard is very necessary yellow mustard though. I can agree. It looks like paint. We can throw that out Let's all right. Let's all right. Let's agree on that. Let's agree on that Mustard that comes in a jar nice

Mustard that comes in that fucking not I can't see into the bottle And it's plastic and it looks like we're painting with this if it's brighter than the sun don't put it in your fucking body Yeah, you know, yeah That's a good rule. All right, so we'll agree. We'll keep we'll keep we'll get rid of the bottled mustard keep the jarred mustard. Yeah That was awesome. All right next How many do you have I got a couple nice Tipping on a takeout order you go to you go you call up wait what you call up. Hey Uh

Restaurant I want food. Okay. That's gonna be 30 dollars Um, I'll be I'm gonna pick it up Um, do you leave a tip dude? Fuck. No, that's what I'm saying. I don't why do people do that? Yeah, there's a line on the thing that says tip And I'm sure people tip I listen. I get it like the restaurant tours are fucking hurting as a result of the pandemic Okay. Yeah, let's think about this like like a 2018 restaurant here. Yes pre pre 2020 right

They're not doing a lot of work besides the normal work to cook the food You're doing more of the work. I will make Jesus. I'll say this I've never tipped like that unless I've been put under the pressure Like ever dude. I've tipped. I'm talking about like picking up an order Oh, okay I've never like tipped on a pickup order in my life unless I think there's one time like I walked in and like, you know when they When they have like the the iPad and they like swing it around and it's like oh, yeah

And it's like tip and like I know that they just saw that they gave me the tip So it's like Either I hit fucking no and turn it around and go no Oh Or I tip so those times I'll tip because I'm like I'm getting judged here Other times I usually don't because who am I who am I tipping if I am I tipping the chef? That's the thing that I don't that I question is like because when you tip at a restaurant You tip the waitress who's like serving you and doing this later, but you picking up my am I tipping who am I tipping?

That's a good question. I don't know who the tip is being distributed I asked this question the other day brought miles for a haircut and I didn't have cash on me So I tipped electronically and I asked the guy straight up I was like will this tip get to you or to everyone and he goes no it'll get to me and I'm like that's what I like But I'm not well. I'm doing the work there if I'm going to pick up the food and bring it home and then eating it Like you're doing less work than you would be if you brought it to a table and plated it Like you're just throwing this in the styrofoam or a metal or aluminum foil tin Yeah, I don't like this the only one who did work was the chef and if I'm not tipping the chef

Which I no one ever tips the chef because it goes to the waitress, right? So like Why am I tipping yeah, I'm tipping you for picking up the phone He didn't even cook this thing. I don't like it and the other thing is like again As joey said don't like like I know when people turn that thing to me and it's like do you want to you know Sign there and it says in big bold letters like 50 25 80 percent It's like give us all your fucking money, bitch I know that they did the math and I know that so whatever I like do that

I sign it and quickly press everything to like finish I like finish the whole fucking order and then turn it back around so they can't like see what I did You know, it's a funny thing. I've told this story before But it's like fits real well with this kind of thing I went to home goods one time good place a great place and I bought a couple items And then the woman And there was a line and there was only one register open which was fine But there was a lot of people there and this is pre-pandemic. So there's no social distancing pre-panda. They're right here pre-panda

and I I she rings me up and she goes would you like to donate to Some charity and I was like no And uh, I I don't know why I said no because like a part of me wanted to I know like and I was just like no It was like a gut reaction to be like no and she's like, okay, and then it was like fine But then later I went to go get dog food for Charlie And I get there and it's like do you want to donate to dogs that are home? I was like, yeah Dogs that are homeless. Did you fucking go and give them money on the street like they're dancing with a hat out?

The fuck is that? No, I get a pound or something. I know I know um, but yeah So I I for whatever reason I just like have this gut reaction I think growing up in New York City you have a gut reaction Just like I don't know because fucking I hate to admit that but it's like the homeless people like sometimes You just say no to a lot of people and they're just like I any time I've been with Becca and we've seen you know like a panhandler Someone asking for money. She's always it's like heartbreaking for her. It is suck and it does suck it does but like we again Exactly we're desensitized to it because there were times where I was fucking sleeping on the train And someone almost did a roundhouse kick and then asked for you know money

You know And also you don't know like might the one thing that my dad always told me that made sense was Give them food like give them something they can actually like yes Can they use money? Sure, but you don't under like you don't know that person You don't know unfortunately and there might be a cynical way to look at it But like you don't know what that money is going to be used for you might be in a way enabling whatever fucking Situation they might be in right, you know like Give them food, you know give them clothing some people. I know like Becca's mom

She buys like socks and fucking shit and like distributes that when she can that's a that's a good point But I also don't do that the only Tipping uh or like the like when it's like donate the charity I will do is when they're like do you want me to round up to the nearest dollar? Because then I feel like I'm like that's an a convenient way Or it's like do you want to donate 80 cents to kids? You're like no It's like Jesus dude. It's 80 cents I say without all right. So tipping for a pickup order

No, I I don't do that mainly because I don't know where the tip is going if I knew that it was going to the chef I I would be more inclined to like do that. Hmm, but Yeah, so no, don't do it. Everyone out there. Don't do it. I'm not saying don't do it. I'm saying it. All right. I'm kidding Okay Joey this one is tough okay being chivalrous Should I be chivalrous now? What do you mean by chivalrous chivalry? I know chivalry

Yeah, but what example it's like opening up a door for opening a door for someone You know what? I've never done in my entire life opened a car door for a woman that wasn't 108 It makes I've done it like once or twice too much to go into it. It's a lot. It's a bit of a thing all I'm gonna say is you expect me to park the car and sprint Before you open the door to the other side of the car to get you out You gotta bend you gotta make two rides. That's a lot of like that's a lot of work You gotta be a track star and there are certain like listen. I'll hold a door open for people Of course

But like if I hold the door open for someone and they walk in is the expectation and there's another set of doors That I need to slam this door and sprint to that other door. Right. It doesn't make sense Also, you know being from new york sometimes you use a very busy building So you get in there you hold a door for someone all of a sudden you work there when I'm holding the door for point 50 people Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know like I understand like an old woman. Yeah, sure your second in line Yeah, get in there you old bitch, but a dude But a regular guy just going to work like you you're just gonna walk by me dude take over my shift That's your job. Don't take it. Yeah, exactly. Don't take advantage of the shovel risk action

If I'm a grown me I'm fucking 28 year old man I see another younger, you know, man holding a door open for a woman Whether or anyone I'll be like, you know what I got it from here coach Put your hand up on the door. I got it. Go ahead. You go you you you relieve him of this shift You were you're supposed to be the reliever in that situation, you know, call to the bullpen, you know, yeah. Hey, hey Get in there. I don't know why I did this. Yeah, I don't know. What do you do like professor x No, yeah, I mean that's I totally agree. Here's my issue with being shovel risk is I believe it is the right thing to do But at what point is offering to be shovel risk disrespectful to that person?

For instance, have you ever had this happen? Or you've seen or heard of this happening where it's like someone is like carrying bags or something and you're like Do you say do you need help or may I help or can I help? Like what are you saying that situation because then you're like the person will be like, fuck you. I don't need your help Well, I you need some help You need but who says I need help what makes you think that me as a woman needs help You look like you're struggling you fucking asshole That's what I would out that's what I would do. I can't say that to ya. Yeah. I know. Well, no, I know a woman

I would say lady come on. You'd berate her. Let her know you're frail. You're dumb. You're gonna die soon Let me the list goes on lady. Do you need me to keep giving you reasons? Let me take the bag except for tonight It's it's different the fucking because I want to be more shovel risk, but I also don't want to be disrespectful I'll tell you a situation that was like super weird for me when I was younger Like I would be taking the bus to school every morning and when I was in high school And when the bus gets packed The only places that you can sit are like in the front

Of the bus and those seats are like reserved for the elderly or whatever But everyone on this bus is from my high school. Oh, not a Public transportation not a cheese bus. Yeah, no, no, no, it's like public transportation. So you're on a public bus and When you sit in the front, literally it's like people are like leaning on you. That's how many people are in there but then some people get on the bus and If there if it's a woman in like her fifties Is is that old enough for me to be like, hey, you want to sit down because you're looking a little Season, you're looking like your knees need a little help lady

Too much time in the oven then too much time in the oven lady. You look well done. Do you need a seat? So like i'm afraid to be like if I ask her if she needs to take a seat Because obviously old people like visually old people. You're like, oh, how's it please? Please come on. Come on I'm gonna I'm gonna stand, you know like But like someone in their fifties or something or like, you know, like a like a late 40s But like also like a pretty good shape. You're like If it if the if the if the gray ratio if there's an obvious but people die people die But i'm saying like either hair if you have the strength to dye your hair

You could stand up Everyone could stand if you if you have if you're going to take the bus You got to be a maniac. Yeah, who's like ready for war. Yeah, by the way Those like if you're over the age of 70 just don't get on the bus dude. Just stay home Just don't leave because now you gotta go. It's a death trap in there Yeah, it really is if you might as well put people on roller skates in there because that thing moves You're going with the whole fucking gravity. It's also a urinal. So there's that. Yeah, it's a little stinky in there Stinky. Yeah, um, but yeah, I I'm being chivalrous. So like here's a couple things. I've never done in my life, right?

And I like to think that I'm like like You're a nice guy. Yeah, like I courteous dates I'm picking up the tab. You know what I'm saying? I'll I'll pay it. That might be another reason. Well I'll pick up the tab none of this splitting shit this and that blah blah blah I'll I'll you know text me text me when you get home or you know, whatever these kinds of things Um, but I and also when I was younger I was told that like when you're dropping off somebody you wait for them to get in the house before you leave Yes, yeah, I still do that

Things I don't do Open up a car door that I'm in Like I if I'm in the car. I'm in the car. It doesn't make sense guys. I've never exited to get back in logically It doesn't make sense. It it's a nice gesture. Maybe but it's I don't know to me that would feel like I It would be looked at like as cliche and like super corny like you're trying too hard. Yeah, like come on. Yeah, like all right Yeah, take it easy to happy I was just like an old name. I was thinking Nathaniel Hawthorne. That's a great name. Yeah, that's a great name. Um, I've never uh Pulled out a chair. I've done that. I think that's dumb. I

Because hear me out pulling out a chair for a woman Stupid I'll tell you why you pull out a chair They sit on the chair. You need to go back in they have to now scooch in Yeah, like and I can't scooch you you were a person sitting in a chair What do you expect on the scooch? There's no scooch assistance available That to me just seems like one that like I never like I can get with the door thing. I could get that chair I've pulled chairs out. I've pulled chairs out because I do the only thing though is like, you know me

I'm a pranky boy. If I'm pulling a chair out one out of a thousand times. I'm I'm pulling it. Yeah, and you're going You're going down. So listen if you're gonna accept the gesture in which I am going to bestow upon you Just be prepared except that I also I'm gonna fucking ruin your life once one time one time that tailbone is gonna get bruised Oh, that coccyx is going bye-bye That's the bone. Um, but yeah, yeah, I've never done that like I've never pulled out a chair I hate when like I've done that waiters do it at a restaurant sometimes Like if you're at a nice restaurant, they pull your chair out for you and I'm like now I'm all the way out here I think the gesture is in just like presenting the seat which makes no sense

I would be like I knew the seat was there. Yeah, don't show it to me and then tell me like you want it There you go. I'm like I know I I'm gonna have it I'm more interested in a turn in a chair turn I can get with a chair turn like if a chair's tucked in and then you kind of turn it out Because then I could just get in and I turn it up in but then you Pull out a chair and I sit in it and I'm here I got it You gotta bounce your way up. It's stupid. It is a little dumb. So that one I don't do either

I will I will look good. What else don't I what's another chevelerous act? Uh walking an old woman across the street. I wish you've never done that. Well, I've I don't really frequent Well, like in your younger days, you never were walking home. So an old woman and we're like, yeah, let me give you a hand No, I've done that once but here's guess what doesn't speed anything up. Did you Listen, I'm unless you're gonna pick this woman up and put her on your back I'm all about helping the elderly but this woman was walking crushed She got about a quarter of the way the remaining 75% in which I jumped in

Just as slow If not slower because now she was telling me how sweet of a boy I was right, right, right, you know and it's like I get it it's a nice gesture, but like There's nothing you can do unless you like I said throw this woman on your back and fucking sprint to the other side Yeah Or just grab her by her jacket one by her neck one by like right above her ass and just fucking slide her to the other side of the street Lay down a tarp water

Soap and just fucking let her rip. Yeah Well, another one time I did something. Well, this isn't chivalrous But I was driving around and a lot of people don't I'm trying to just get credit for something and I saw a trash can You went out and picked it up There was a cop there and the cop got on thing. It's like Thank you or he said something like You're a nice guy. I was like, thanks cops. Little does he know No, I I think I've done that

There's like I've been like in my neighborhood like walking around seeing like something like blow over and I'll put it back on like a neighbor's Like lawn or something. Yeah, I I do that a lot Like if I if I'm driving the street and there's something like in the road like I stopped my car I get out and also listen This is something this this goes into chivalry as well If you're at a store and you knock something off the rack You picking it up depends how many things well One thing for sure

It depends at the knock too like if I go over and I like I'm holding this You know thing and I'm like, oh cool and I go to put it back and then it falls over Then I'll be like that was my fault But if I walk if I brush by something and the whole fucking thing falls, that's on you make it a little more stable You know what I haven't done that in a while, but If I knock over like a lot of shit I kind of just Oh

Get the fuck out of there, you know Also, you know what? I'm really bad at just putting shit back in weird places I as someone that worked retail you are the bane of my existence. I I'm sure I am I It sucks, but I will either bring it to the front and say I don't want this or I'll put it back where I fucking got it from never I am Kind of like I've put like deodorant on a stack of t-shirts before like I'm out here That's not as bad, but like again with having my time working at target like in fucking chemicals finding

You know like two cartons of eggs people just be like I don't want these eggs, which just buy the eggs Well, I won't do that. I'll do like items like we've we have found like packets of chicken Like two days old because people didn't like they just dropped them off in random places It was buying chicken at target People buy chicken at target. You're not buying chicken at target. You know far away target is well for those that I guess if target was next door, then maybe I would buy chicken there. There you go. But all right, so being chivalrous I Do it. I say do it. I say yeah, but like not the chair

I think there's we need to retire the chair retire the chair waiters waiters waiters no chair car door Very no no doors. Yes. Mm-hmm doors. Yes doors Yes One more doors Yes Hold the door. All right. Hold the door open. Hey you go ahead. All right my last I think this is the last one I have also is this fucked up. I'm talking about holding doors for a second

There's a lady behind you, right? You open the door. Yep What's the prop what's the most proper way to do this? Is it step in a hand like that? You walk past or is it Open the door. How you doing you go ahead I think the hand like that if you got strong shoulders Go for it But that's like there are heavy doors if you ever try to hold a door now

I look like an idiot because I'm not holding a door open for something Like I'm going to push the door open and it like creaks open like a fucking half a foot And I'm like come on come on sneak it Come on Brenda. No, like I I I'm I'm the I'm the type of person where it's like, oh, you know like fucking okay Pull the door open. Come on. Come on. Come on it. I'll take your time. You know, yeah Come on. No, no, no, no. Don't worry. Ah, let me see some ID. I'm just kidding Fucking that's definitely you. I I'm definitely one of those people. Let me see some ID. Are you old enough to get in here? I'm just no

I've never done that. I know I've never done that but uh, definitely the one being like, oh, no, no, no Take your time. Take it. I I literally have nowhere to be. Yeah. Guess what? Everywhere. I'm in a rush. I have everywhere to be All right. Last one. I have her a nail in the coffin um Washing your legs Let me be fully clear. No, let me be fully clear first. Okay I don't know if I'm with this

The problematic areas of my body that I worry about are above the balls Balls enough. Yeah balls enough Anything below it could be disgusting except for my feet But like between balls and ankles Don't care. That's a petri dish of just fucking putrid piss. Yeah Yeah, and I I don't know if I've ever washed My like calves

Like I've watched like the upper thigh because it's right here in range right there in range. Um I'm not doing a whole lot of bending in the shower I Why like why you don't need to wash that stuff unless you unless there's like a lot of like dirt If I was like out in the mud like a pig. Yeah Then yeah, yeah, if you're just fucking you're a piece of shit and you're just rolling around in sand all day I've tried to wash my feet maybe twice in my life both times. I almost went no I almost went down why because it puts soap on the bottom of my feet and I'm like

You sit down then I sit sit down sit down sit down. Do you just sit down just sit down in your bath? Oh, yeah, that's a whole thing. First of all, you got bath. You got you got you like you have the space to sit down in there That's not a big tub. That's not a big tub But then you lay down and pull that left foot up toward you. What the hell Yoga in there. Am I taking a shower? I just got one of those things that you could put down in there Like, you know, like fucking like sticks to the mat and like suction cups And it's like little bristles and you just like wash your feet in there. I gotta get furniture

You want to put a tv in there too? Oh, yeah, why you want to watch the game? You're really hurting joe I bet you're financially really hurt that tub's not big enough It doesn't matter if it's big enough you have adequate space to wash your feet feet is the only thing I'll fucking piss on you for Legs though legs is all good. Why am I why do I need to wash my shins you wash your back? Yeah, how I watch what I can Yeah, I'm not gonna buy I go here. Yeah, I go look. I'll tell you exactly what I do here here

Here but that's fine, baby. But Literally that's fine. It's never seen so ever ever there is a point like I'm sure I'm sure like mushrooms are gonna start growing In a certain part of it 100% you could eat a meal off of my shoulders But if you even think about touching my spine you I'll go as further to say is you're My I'll say my assholes cleaner than my legs. Let me tell you my assholes Fucking yeah, I I polish that thing like it's a fucking trophy Like it's an old coin that I'm restoring Yep, yeah

You ever see those videos you ever see those videos I just saw what I was gonna say I was gonna say you ever see those videos where people find like a civil war era bayonet And they're like oh Yeah, that's what I do to my butthole. Yeah, I got an s o s pad And I just go to town wd-40 That loosens it up Orange just makes it shine

That's not shine stuff. Isn't that like oil. It's like like grease. I don't know what it is. Let's get to the ads You know Oh, wait, what did we say about watching your legs? Don't do it, right? No, no, no the phone's got that kind of time. I'm gonna care You know like if you're a woman then you can wash your legs only only because They shave their legs Yes, it's like if you're down there and you're are gonna bend your mind as well I'm fine, but if you're spending time in cancun go to the beach, you know what I mean

Yeah, but if you're not gonna go to cancun don't go to the beach in new york. It's disgusting gross That's great Okay, let's get to these ads here First one we have here is stamps.com. It brings all these services of the u.s. Post service and ups right to your computer It's a must have for any business whether you're a small office sending, you know Letters or whatever or you're sending packages If you have an etsy shop like you want to use stance.com But you can use your computer to print official us postage 24 7 for any letter any package any class of mail

Anywhere you want to send it you also get discounts up to 40 off postage rates rates and up to 66 UPS shipping rates Go to stamps.com Click on the microphone on the top of the homepage and type in basement. That is stamps.com promo code is basement and with that You will get a four week trial plus free postage and a digital scale No long-term commitments or anything like that But yeah, like I said, if you have a side hustle where you're like on etsy or you're a small business or something

You're going to want to use stamps and definitely use these disc discounts Stamps.com click on the microphone on the top of the homepage and type in basement But yeah, there you go Next we have Quip quip is crushing it. I recently just bought like a whole thing from quip I probably should have hit them up because they're a sponsor of the show But I was like, you know what let me just not because I want this badly But I bought a new toothbrush and this little pack that they have and it comes with this gum

That is amazing and honestly, I'm like craving it at the moment for some reason But it's amazing. They have this new gum that's like good for you It has like what's the stuff in gum? Xyla Xyla Xyla tall Xyla tall. Um, that might be right. It might be wrong But it's what did we say? But it's like good for you. It's good for your teeth. It's dentist recommended. They also have like this floss thing That's good for flossing There's like a solar power thing for your quip because it runs on battery. It's an electric toothbrush, obviously My favorite toothbrush that I've ever used once I started using quip. I haven't used another toothbrush

Um, but yeah, so I love it. Um, definitely go check them out You can start getting all your stuff at get quip.com slash basement right now And you'll get a free plastic dispenser with any refill refill plan Go to get quip.com slash basement G e t q u i p dot com slash basement But yeah, they're great. So it's it's amazing So they have all these like dispenser things for like the floss and for the for the gum so you can take it all on the go It's very convenient. Um, but yeah, like I said, I went on their site

I bought this package and also I forgot to mention But the thing that's great about them is that every three months you get refills on on stuff for Low cost. It's like nothing. So Um, it's like, oh, yeah, you get chewing the chewing gum you get for less than two dollars per gum pack But it's great over five million people using quip. So go check them out Next year we have headspace Headspace is your daily dose of mindfulness in the form of guided meditations and an easy to use app It's the only meditation app advancing the field of mindfulness and meditation through clinically validated research

If you're going to get into Meditation headspace is just where you want to be like this is the one and and honestly, I think the other day I'm pretty sure they're on like netflix Like I was on my netflix account and I saw like headspace guided meditation. I was like, Jesus They even made it here. Like this is crazy. Um, I don't know if there's the same thing, but I think it is But yeah, I've used headspace before they have a great app It's easy to use and they have like five minute guided meditations and you work your way up to like an hour. I think even But they have over 600,000 five star reviews and over 60 million downloads

So this is the one you want to use if you're gonna, you know, start thinking about meditating It's a good way to relieve stress. It helps with, you know, sleep But it's great. So I use it every so often. I'm not really good with it to be honest with you I don't do it like every single day, but I try to do it as much as I can every week Um, but yeah, uh, go to headspace.com slash basement. Uh, that is headspace.com slash basement for one free month Trial with access to headspace's full library of meditations for every situation. Um, free month. There you go headspace.com slash basement today, uh, and lastly here we have fit bod and fit bod creates a fitness program that continually adapts with new exercises and dynamic intensity That adjusts to how you're progressing. So you'd be challenged to meet your goals at your own pace

When it comes to working out like a lot of people pay for these um, you know big famous like, uh trainers Like their workout plan and some and sometimes they're not I mean not sometimes but a lot of time It's just a very general thing and it's not, you know, aimed towards you. So, you know that People work out and they get progress in different ways So you you need something like this that is going to help you and it's it's like geared towards your body type and your weight and what your goals are

There's not a lot of people want to do the same thing. Some people want to lose weight Some people want to gain weight and gain muscle mass. So these are different things So the best way to do that is to use something like, uh fit fit bod um, no equipment. No worries. Uh fit bod has, uh, body weight routines for those looking to get fit at home or on the go It's easy to use. It even has hd video tutorials to make a learning new exercise as a breeze Integrates with other fitness and health apps like apple health fit bit and strava Uh personalized training can be tough on the budget, but fit bod is only, uh, 10 dollars a month or 60 dollars a year um

60 dollars a year, I think I said sign up now and you'll get 25 off your your membership. All right So 25 off your membership you can go to fit bod dot me slash basement That is 25 off at fit bod dot me slash basement Like I said, you're going to get everything geared towards you your body type and all and your goals And it's going to change as you're progressing. This is exactly what you want when you're working out. Um, But yeah, go check it out fit bod dot me slash basement Bang hey One day you'll let me read the ads. Yeah, you can if you want. I think I'll be really better than you

Really better than me. Yeah All right Where you going nothing. Oh, yo, you know what I wanted to talk about Yeah These fucking uh, I post them on my stories sometimes, uh, these like Investing finance meme pages or something. Oh my god, dude They're the what literally I saw one the other day, right? And the name is always like official Warm Buffett investing and it's like what what is this?

Like what are we talking about? That's how warm buffets getting his name out there now by fucking trying to make viral things on uh on instagram And it's just like it just doesn't make sense. One of them literally was like, here's how you become a millionaire or something and then it said, uh You know don't buy material things Don't do this don't do that like do this that and then the last one was save $8,000 a month. It's like what? Who is this for yo save $8,000 a month. How about Make how about let's start with make $4,000 a month. Also if you have money problems, right?

And you're looking for inspiration on a meme page And you think it's good advice to save $8,000 a month Which would mean that you make more than $8,000 a month and you're like, this is good advice You're an idiot. You're dumb. That's very dumb I I love the people that post this in the story and they have these hands, you know like to pray. Thank god like that So true. Oh, yeah, like you know just it's so simple. I think it's it's I mean it's it's classic fucking internet Is people post things in order to get instant gratification and they don't think anything

Further into it Because it's fucking too morbid and sad to believe like oh, yeah Well, maybe there's reasons why people aren't fucking millionaires. Yeah, and like they make it sound so easy It's like just do these things. I love it's like here's what a billion a billionaires mindset Here it is and there's like four bullet points like this is all and one of them is just like ambition. Yeah Thank you, dude. Yeah, it's like wake up be the hardest working person in the room go to sleep For it. Oh, I love the ones that are like, do you know that most millionaires on average sleep four hours a day? And it's like dude go first of all. No, they fucking don't also

What do you pull your and who are you pulling? You know like billionaire quarterly monthly? Yeah, I think those are two different timeframes there My least my least favorite are the ones that are like Oh, here's here's 50 set Who's who filed for bankruptcy? And he's in like fucking like a bugatti with you know, like chains and stuff on and then it's like here's mark zuckerberg Notice the difference first of all. Yeah color second The belts they say like no not a Gucci belt inside. Yeah, it's like notice and it's like mark zuckerberg standing in front of a fucking

A Prius and it's like he's driving a Prius and I hate those it's like yo people that have fucking There is like an undertone of what you're saying where you're like, yeah color Like there is a there is an undertone of like racism in these things where it's like I remember there was a meme going around like a year ago that it was like Uh, don't just look rich act rich or like don't don't just look rich like actually be or whatever it is And like it was a picture of quavo And he has like diamonds in his teeth and like chains and shit. He's and he's rich dude Like he's richest shit. He made it. He's rich made it guys and then they show like bill gates

And it's like not a Gucci belt in sight. It's like why would bill gates do that shocker Shocker you mean that the the fucking people of color that have money and that choose to do what they want with it Or then criticized by people from the way that they go about doing it. Not only that. Oh fucking shocker joey Not only that but a fucking Gucci belt. Let's just even say it's a thousand dollars, which it isn't What is that maker breaking the fucking bank here with these people who make tens of millions of dollars? Yeah, no and listen That's a great point because that's the one that I've seen is like Mark Zuckerberg driving a fucking Prius in like gap shorts and people are like this is one of the richest people in the world

coincidence it was like Shut up. First of all, it's like he would have yeah, dude. Why do you think Mark Mark Zuckerberg is who Mark Zuckerberg is. He's a nerdy dude. Like what do you think all of a sudden? He's gonna get like a face tattoo like what the fuck? Yeah Like he's gonna drive a piece. Yeah, he's gonna drive a Prius Would you be more concerned if you saw a mark Zuckerberg with a fucking grills in like a picture? You're like It's like no good for him. He can afford that. He'd be like no what the fuck is wrong with Mark? Yeah, no, I would be that's the one that I would be more concerned about

Why the fuck does it matter and like I love how it's people behind their phones sitting there and and trying to come up with these Ideas and like, you know, like millionaire like successes of mentality and stuff like that I want to know who's doing these mean pages. Like I found a couple I like I bookmarked them so I could read these by this one I thought was funny because it was like 12 movies for entrepreneurs. Number one Wall Street I was just gonna say Wall Street. I've never seen it. Uh, I've seen bits and pieces. I haven't seen it in this entirety But these can I guess other ones? Wolf of Wall Street, that's number two. Okay. And then number three is you're not gonna guess it wait

Oh, give me a hint or you know nothing about this movie. Well, it's another leo movie. Okay. Um, uh, uh, the aviator No No, so it's catch me if you can so the top three that they have there two of them are about criminals Well, uh, and arguably I mean gordon gecko is not really a nice guy in wall street Dude catch me if you can is about a Teenager who conned his way into millions of dollars. Oh, what about wolf of wall street? Who is about Destroying families. You know, I went to prison. You know how people say like, oh in the show You know like insects in the city new york is a character in the wolf of wall street

Cocaine is a character. Oh, yeah. That is a character. That is very much a character. Um, and here's another one this This is the best too. The best thing with these mean pages is like It'll just say like invest invest invest and then it'll just be a picture of like jason statham It's like what does this mean? No, this is a quote that I follow on instagram I don't know if you follow them. I follow world star hip hop And there was a point in time where they were posting about this Like young black entrepreneur the whole time and it was like by 22 he was bankrupt by 24 He became a millionaire read this it'll happen to you and it's like

Stop buy this from him. Stop. Stop this right now. Dude. This is great. So this one says most of your adult Problems can be avoided if you Regularly work out Get a second income source A lot of people can't have a job hard time finding a job get to Eat real food Whatever that means find three real friends. That's all you need. Put the work in go find friends two You're fucking out of your life three four

Bankrupt live below your means Do what you love for work Easier said than done a lot this last one. Don't have kids with the wrong person. What got no shit They're just putting the most obvious things in there like you want to have a million dollars step one have one dollar Step two save money. It's like yeah, no fucking shit. Dude. This is great. This is a different one fastest way to go broke New phone how traveling

Ready the kicker No job Duh the fastest way to go broke is to not have a job you fucking change your mentality. Oh my god Some of these are so stupid. Don't not have a job We need to have we need to have the joe sanagato fucking business tips step one be white No, but there there is a there is a a fucking underlying tone of Fucking discrimination with a bunch of these because the things that they it's so funny

There's no in my opinion. It's it's it's not realistic and it's just out of touch to be like also the get a second income It's it's also irresponsible to look at the people that have done it and be like do exactly what I did and recreate it And you'll get there. Yeah, like that's just I think that there is something to work ethic that you can talk about But in terms of like the method in which you like were handed the opportunity to do these things is not fucking universal I just think it's so dumb to like Like what and this is the same problem that I have with like gary v Is that a lot of the stuff that he says is just It's like he's not wrong, but he's also not saying anything that no one doesn't know

It's like, yo, if you're if you want it, you're gonna have to work around the clock for it. It's like, yeah, okay Like be be ambitious. It's like thank you so much. That's why I love like the motivational speaker like realm Because they are just saying everything that we know just loud and people pay to fucking hear it Like you you go if like tony robbins and stuff. Yes, like these people that are you know, how many books can tony robbins write? Yeah, what is he putting in them? I mean, I don't like he's successful for a reason, but I do feel like there is Like I can't help but feel like it is like taking advantage of a certain kind of person in my opinion The most like moving

Whether it be speeches or or speakers that I've heard They have a fucking sort of tragic backstory or some sort of tragedy that that you know fell upon them And then they work it into how they use that to motivate that I think is fucking legit And I think it's admirable, but the people that are just like yo, listen up Listen up. You need to know why you want to do something like yeah. No fucking shit. I want to know why like like there was a You know one like I forgot the name of this guy, but he was like yo know your why And get out there and do it. It's like probably Eric Thomas. Maybe he's a very famous

Maybe and it's like they're not doing anything or saying anything that is not fucking blatantly obvious I I think that like there's a market for motivational speaking, but I just do I I do think that it gets Very repetitive and obvious and vague and then it starts to feel like Because you're repeating yourself and because like all of this stuff is kind of the same And now you it just feels like taking advantage in a way of people who are like desperately searching for answers So they're like We'll go out of their way to like I'll pay for a seminar just to like hear it from someone who's successful, but I feel like you know, they're just taking advantage of that, but I want to read another one of these

Uh four things you should do if you want to be rich Listen up frank. All right. Number one. I'm gonna write these down move away from friends and family. They are distraction He did that I'm on my way Move away from friends and family. They are distraction What by the way, is it said they are distraction? Yeah, okay written by a fucking third grader in You know Who knows uh two give up on obtaining material things for a while

Okay, and it was a picture of a car. You don't buy a car Three stop worrying about things you can't control You know so far not anything that I I've made zero dogs Number four remove distractions around the house parentheses such as kids snacks tv video games and weed What? First of all one Do you see what people are able to do with video games nowadays the money they're able to churn out

No video games no tv no snacks If you want to be rich don't have snacks put on top of all of that joey Everything those are minuscule no weed no fucking weed no pots And and you know this because when ilan musk was on joe rogan and he smoked that weed Yeah, the stock plummeted. Yeah, look what happened. There you go snacks don't each you want to be rich don't eat chips I I mean I will say I think my favorite one in there though is the one where it's like Stop worrying that you can't control things. It's like that is a good that is a good piece of advice

What fucking correlation does it have to do with getting rich literally none and it's like you're gonna be like, you know what? I can't control that and someone's gonna be like 10 bucks take my money. Yeah, you know what I mean? It's like it's so fucking stupid people could just my least favorite ones Because those are infuriating the ones that drive me up a wall are the ones that are like So aggressively vague where it's like go out there be creative Sip a cup of coffee and don't care look at the stars. It's like Fucking i'll give you one piece of advice Bull your brains out get a job fucking shut up

It's just they're like there's this whole like realm of people now that get motivated by just the most absolutely vanilla, you know pieces of Motivation that it just it doesn't make sense like there's like there are legit ways to get motivated. I remember when I was in college I heard a guy who started a foundation his name was Daniel trust His family had survived. Oh, excuse me. No, he was the only surviving member of his family or something like that that You know for a genocide and I think in the sedan or something And the way he was able to integrate, you know

Motivating yourself based off of what your fucking personal trauma is and turning that around instead of having it way down on you Genius beautiful fucking incredible and there are people that really really really do a great job doing that But the people that are just out there and they'll be like All right Who's ready to talk step one fucking wake up and and Don't drink coffee Yeah, like if someone's giving you advice on like success and they tell you that You need to like give up sleep or you need to like wake up at 5 a.m

Like no, you don't like you just don't like that's just not true Like it's and it's this thing like oh, you know like I know Eric Thomas had a had a thing in one of his speeches where he was like Beyonce like Forgot to sleep or something because she was working so hard on some music videos like yeah That happens like along the way like and there are some times where people like lose sleep because they're up late doing this And that but it's not like a requirement like it's something that is an effect of You know you like putting some time in and whatever but it's not like

In order to achieve success you need to like give up sleep like that's just not true like that's just clichéd It also then creates like organize your time better in my in my opinion It also creates then a sense of like entitlement where people are like Yo, I'm waking up at 5 a.m Every single morning and I'm and I'm going to sleep at 2 a.m every single night You know and I and I'm putting the work in it's like then then they they establish the sense of entitlement where it's like I've been following these things that Gary v said no knock on Gary v's made a living for himself good for him, but like They then be like like it creates like this sense of like well

I've been doing all that stuff and it's not happening to me life is unfair And it's like there's so much more to all of this stuff that people don't sit there and realize And they think that just because they put time and effort into something that it then needs to flourish into something Like what's the one where it's like? Yo, like you always see like people think it's a straight path to success And it's like they forget about all the fucking failures along the way You know and people don't And I use people as a general term is like

With the ability like with these onset of people saying like, you know wake up early Don't drink coffee people then follow and be like, all right. This is what's gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna become successful. I'm gonna become rich and also guys. Guess what success It it's it's subjective. It doesn't mean it's monetary You know success means different things for different people So don't sit there and be like successful as being a millionaire success looks very different for fucking everyone Success for one person can be being a millionaire and motivate and that one person wants to do it All the power to them to somebody else. It's being the best mother. It's being the best brother father

Um, you know being a great artist, you know, because unfortunately the arts don't draw in a lot of money when it comes on a lower You know a lower scale and level and stuff like that the arts. It's true. I mean, I mean, yeah, I know well Not always and the the the people that do you know, there's that banana that sold for like a million dollars Or the fuck whatever that was wait, what? You know like an art basil like a couple years ago. You remember that no someone taped a banana to the wall And sold it for a million dollars. I don't know what it sold for but it was like not zero It was more than two Dollars 100 percent. That's unfortunate. Yeah

Also, like this is what I'm talking about six signs. You'll be a billionaire Let's see. This is why I have a problem with this these memes in this industry is because this is providing false hope for people who are lost and That's why I know that like gary v eric thomas. These people have a They they have a responsibility and they do provide a service to the world with the way that they do it But when you do shit like this, this just feels like taking advantage of those people and Like whatever reason, you know what I mean? Because like look how vague this is first of all six signs You'll be a billionaire like no one knows that like this is a billionaires. This is ridiculous

And listen no offense to anyone listening to this Chances are You will not be a billionaire. No, I hope you do become a billionaire And if you do I will support you and be so happy for you Chances are not happening. Yeah, so it says one you have big goals Come dude, shut up. Shut the fuck up two. You are persistent Okay You talk about ideas not people

You are decisive you understand what customers want You understand what customers wants You're prepared to start small and grow big Okay Well, that's literally and now you're a billionaire now you're a billionaire if you have all those things guess what? You're on the right path. You're prepared to start small and grow big. Who starts big Well, some people do start big giraffes It's true elephants start bigger than normal babies

Giraffes are pretty big. Giraffe babies are huge. Giraffe horses Okay, they got longer legs. Yeah. Yeah, we start pretty big whales Huge big big start. That was a big start big start, but they do get bigger Very big. They all get big big start bigger life. Yeah, but these this is what I'm talking about Like that kind of shit just makes it seem like you're like taking advantage of people at that point I'm just like, ah, this is stupid. All right. Well, this these are gonna be here. Let's do this right now The basement yard six signs that you're a stupid bitch. All right number one

You're listening to the show Gotcha. We got you so hard number two You're still listening even after we said that number two. You still love it Number three, you got denim jackets. I have one too. Well, then you're a stupid dumb. Mine's mine's lined with fur That I don't have that. I don't have right. Uh, number four You breathe oxygen idiot You're a dumb bitch if you breathe oxygen. Mm-hmm number five Obviously, yeah, is we'll say it at the same time three two one you have no shoes

See you have no shoes. Don't buy shoes Don't waste your time buying shoes. Don't have snacks the more weed. Have you ever seen the feet of the most successful people in the world? They're not smooth Also, I actually haven't Exactly actually the brawn james is pretty successful and he's got an ugly foot That's what I'm saying because he didn't wear shoes growing up. Yeah, didn't have a comfy thing to you know walk on Don't wear shoes successful people don't do that Okay, and there you have it. There it is. It's five. That's the five. I think we said we were gonna do six

I don't know it could be That's it. No Number six. There is no number six. Go read number one. Number six yourself be creative Sip coffee laugh in the moonlight wake up at three a.m. And go to bed at one a.m That's it. Don't sleep Just stay up. Don't even work. Just stay up talk to no one be your friends. No family They will hold you back listen wake in order to be successful What I'm this is what I'm gathering from these memes in order to be successful. You need to never sleep

Don't do weed don't eat snacks. Don't talk to your family. Don't have friends Don't enjoy anything But when and also don't not have a job. Yeah And just stay up for 24 hours. And guess what if you if you do have a job Get another one. You fucking lazy piece of shit. Get two jobs. You lazy dumpster bitch. You can never have enough jobs Boom more jobs less sleep less family That's it. That's a t-shirt right there. That's it. That's I the base media rules of success More jobs more jobs. No sleep. No sleep. No family if you sleep if you blink

You're fucked up No job. No sleep. No family or friends and no chips. Oh, yeah No snacks. We're also cutting you a single pop tart. You're done. You're dead. Yeah, you just lost 500 000 dollars You had the opportunity to be a fucking billionaire and now you're gonna set up for a measly millionaire idiot twin We're in sync Now we're tearing up my heart when I'm with you

But when we are apart, I feel it too And no matter what I do, I feel the pain With or without you So don't don't don't don't don't don't jump. You know, I'm done. Get out of my door Yeah F alvars 8 0 8 5 on twitter and on twitch the frank alvars on instagram Go check me out on there. Make sure you check out the patreon as well Patreon.com slash the base from yard to get exclusive content every single friday people don't get and every single weekly episode a week in advance

joey's get a cream pie his butt part two come soon might be out by the time you see this and 8500 patrons are doing a power hour episode where we're gonna get drunk and a little ridiculous Uh, and you could find me Making money and not eating chips and not sleeping and not talking to my family at The base me yard on tiktok and instagram and go follow me at joe sanagato on all platforms and like franky said the patreon patreon.com Slash the base me yard get every episode a week in advance and you get an extra episode every single week on fridays And that is all see you guys next time. See you