The Basement Yard - #295 - We Signed Up For A TV Show

Episode Date: May 24, 2021

Frank & Joe signed up for a TV show and if they are selected, it will be mayhem. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome back to the basement yard Frank. I just hurt my shoulder. Did you? Oh, you're falling apart. You're getting old You're almost 30. Yeah, man life is coming at you quick. Well, no, it's not you can't joke about sluts anymore I fit can we let this go? No never ever since ever since that you've gotten progressively older Yeah, well, that's usually how time works. I think it is. Yeah We gun dope I feel good though. What you think you gotta do? That was pretty good. I was actually really good. I know it's gone down. What you think you're gonna do? I try to do it. I try to talk right now
Starting point is 00:00:37 All right, I tried talking like that on that Instagram thing where you could do the captions and curse and it didn't know what I was saying It was like making captions. I would be like thinking you won't go to the pub And it was like just like making up words and shit like you want to oh you want to rub what's going on Instagram's racist I well, no, that's not what that is. I think it might be Not everything's racist Frankie. I know I know it's not okay Anyway back to white people No fucking I Was gonna say like I don't know if this is like I don't actually feel this way
Starting point is 00:01:09 So I don't want to be tried on the streets, but like I find it really hard to be intimidated by like the UK accent Oh, yeah, you know like when I was watching that show top boy, which is mad good. Oh boy. Oh boy. Yeah, it's really good Bro, and I'm just like these dudes like roll up on people like oh, you look really sick. Yeah, you know, it's like It's all funny games so you get stabbed. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you know everything you get stabbed, but also I'd be like That's real I feel like it would be even funnier and like the scarier situations like soccer hooligans that like just don't make a lick of Sense so the color you like oh They show I don't die for Components it yeah, I'd be like this is funny and then I'm dead
Starting point is 00:01:55 Dude Liverpool or something. I don't know. Yeah, I don't even know those soccer hooligans take it serious Yeah, they don't play games. Yeah, the players play the game, but they don't play a game They don't play games about the game. They well, they don't hate the player or the game They hate they actually love the game. They love the game and the players They love everyone but the players and game don't play on the other side They love the players they love the game, but don't play about the game because they don't play that that's really good Yeah, we gotta put that on a shirt exactly you gotta put that on a shirt Don't hate the player don't hate the game just hate the players who play the game never mind there is it
Starting point is 00:02:29 I had me I had it and then I just threw it out. Yeah, but anyway, so um I Went to a dealership again. Obviously it was loads of fun card dealership. Yes. What do you think I would other dealerships? I don't know weed Joe's coming out. You're those are dispensaries. Oh, I didn't know I thought a dealership I'm going in and make a deal. Well, maybe I just have price. It's weed now. You can do whatever you want It's fucking legal people are just like what what used to be like $10 now You'd be like, you know, or or take it for six, you know, you could try to fucking, you know I can't wait till Karen's getting the weed game and then they ruin everything. Oh, I'm gonna call this manager over your fucking OG purple Kush Hayes
Starting point is 00:03:08 No, but I went so I went to a car dealership and as I said on a previous episode I was looking for like Range Rovers and I I don't think I'm gonna get one because I'm just not having good luck here. Well, they're Range Rovers They're big cars and they're expensive. They're expensive, too But not only that but so the last time was just whatever. It was like a comedy bit basically and but this time I Can't you can't make this up. I literally walked in I went to the one in Manhattan I purposely didn't go because I'm like, it's gonna be super busy there. Yeah, yeah, huge location. I've passed it
Starting point is 00:03:45 It's big. It's very big. Yeah. Yeah, so I I just I just made sure that we were recording. I don't remember hitting the So I go into the dealership Walking to the dealership dealership walk up to the guy. I'm like, hey, man I you know, I was looking at like, you know the range like I yeah, I don't know why that matters, but his name was Jim James it was a J. I don't think they're I don't think I've ever Jim short for James. Am I yeah. Oh, yeah, there you go You didn't know that I could be Jiminy Jiminy Cricket. I don't think anyone is really named Jiminy Jiminy Cricket There's a cricket and that's it. Yeah But I was like, hey man, you know, I was looking at the range the sport
Starting point is 00:04:23 So I was like, you know, I'm interested in like, you know, just talking about against no, like, you know, what the fuck, you know, whatever and He just goes. Yeah, oh We don't have any any cars Wait, that's what he said to me. I don't have any cars I walked into this place and I said I'm trying to get a car He told me none. We don't we're fresh out of cars Right. This place is a car dealership one thing they sell that they they have one item That's in the name where they make dealers car dealership this ship. Yes car dealerships are pretty unique
Starting point is 00:05:01 Because you can't go there for anything else but a car Think of any what other places can you think of like even even like, you know Anywhere else you can go and get an assortment of things for the most part You can go to I hop if they don't have pancakes, which would be just insane. They got waffles. They got sausage They got the waffles, but you go to this place and we have just cars and he's like, I don't have any cars I'm done and I was like what and then he and then he says this and then I'm like, okay When like are you guys like getting some or like, you know, you're interested This guy's a bad salesman. He needs to make it happen. Well, he has nothing he could do. He's got no cars. So the guy
Starting point is 00:05:38 So the guy goes I was like, yeah, are you are you getting any cars soon and the guy's like, yeah We're actually getting some at the end of the month. I'm like, oh cool. How like which ones and he's like, oh, those are gone And I was like, what? So he so the place that is meant to it stays open. Why even be open? That's what I said I was like, what are you guys doing here? Stop the lights? Lock it down settle shut down the shop. I'm walking around. I'm seeing people on computers. There's there's paper I'm like, what are you guys signing? No cars. There's no they're playing like they're fucking playing games with you That's what they're doing. Is this another like fucking tactic where they're like, we got nothing then they call you in two days
Starting point is 00:06:18 We got it. We got something. You need it. You need this now This guy not only told me that it didn't have cars, but that they had negative cars He was like, we don't have any and then the ones that we're supposed to get we don't have those either So negative they have so so let me get this straight. They have no cars They have nothing if I tried to go in there and tried to get no car I couldn't even get that because they have negative cars. They have negative a car. They are in car debt They are dead. They owe more cars than they currently physically I'm trying to help them out of debt. Can I ask you something? Do they have cars in the showroom?
Starting point is 00:06:51 Yeah, they had cars then they had that car This is a fucking trick someone at that fucking dealership goes Joe Sanagato wait till this dumb bitch comes in here I dude, I was like I was I was I didn't even know what to say I took his car and I just walked outside and I like sat in the park for 10 minutes. I just thought about it I would be very upset. I was just confused. I was not upset That's so like the next ones we're gonna get is like June 11th He's like, but even half of those are gone and I'm like, what? How how do you lose so like why can't he sell you a car and be like, oh we'll get it in like the end of June
Starting point is 00:07:24 Well, he could but I'm not gonna like and that's what what's happening is that People are going in and they're just buying cars that they're not even seen like they're not gonna like see I mean you can see a car and like see, you know, whatever and you're gonna get certain things blah blah But I mean you don't want to test drive the car You're gonna get like they people are just signing off on it and they're not getting it for like a month I understand like there's probably a bigger thing at play someone some smart person in the comments gonna be like You don't understand how the auto industry is backed up. Yeah, and you know what you're fucking goddamn, right? I don't why the fuck would I know that what honestly?
Starting point is 00:07:58 Why would we care? Who cares a shit make the fucking cars also? They're made out of metal Wait, there's a lot of that way funnier to interpret it. Oh, yeah Do you think we care about the actual problems that people face? Oh, I asked the guy I was like so what you know, what's the day today and then he actually was saying he's like, yeah We don't do anything so when they do have cars They don't have leases and when they don't have cars they don't have what they don't have well The guy at Ford was like we don't have any good ones. They don't have good leases. Oh, so they have shitty leases It's a good witch and a bad witch. They only had bad witches. Oh my god
Starting point is 00:08:29 This is the world the world so you walk into the dealership. You know the next dealership you walk into it It's gonna be some more fuckery. I don't know if I'm ever gonna have to I don't blame you I might just get a website carvana. You could like buy cars online and shit like that and they deliver it Are you talking about there's a website car Fox? No, that's the car show me the facts car Fox. Yeah, what is it the car Fox facts? Who fucks that fucks? I guess No, but like you walk into this place They don't have what they are supposed to have and then what they are going to be getting they also don't have yes
Starting point is 00:09:01 So they don't have what they don't have what they don't have is a job for the next month Because they have nothing to sell good these white devils. Let them fucking rot First of all, no cars even those cars are like 94k. No car should be that expensive. Well That one shouldn't I will agree to that if it's meant it's called land rover and range rover Because they're meant to be driven on a land and on the range. So are you aware that we're currently on land? Fair that's true. We're not in the sky But like it's meant to like all the commercials are showing them like, you know driving over those hills that don't exist where it's fucking Alternating bumpy terrain. It's like you can bring this into the forest. Yeah, it's like who the fuck does that?
Starting point is 00:09:43 Get out and hike like a normal person. No, it's driving through the oh Yeah, the tires are fucking. Oh, there's a great overlook right over through this fucking wooded area Let's drive through and trust this who's doing that no one and especially if I am driving through it I'm not taking one of those cars. Yeah, just once I would like to see a car drive through like the streets of New York City at Eight miles an hour and just get caught in every single red light. That's what they need to do with car commercials They need to be like this is comfortable for traffic because all these car commercials are like a fucking wide open like Avenue in Manhattan where it's like open it up luxury. Yeah fucking greatness That's not how it is. Tell me how it's gonna be when I'm sitting in traffic
Starting point is 00:10:24 I'm screaming at the top of my lungs at this idiot in front of me with a moronic bumper sticker And when I have to piss how comfortable is the seat that if I piss on it like I won't realize that I piss on it You know what I mean? That you had me and then the last part you really lost me so anytime you're in a car you have to pee We have diff no no yes. No. Yeah, that's just not it's anytime I get in a car I I automatically think next rest stop because I have to start I have to pee and then I sit there and I judge like will I make it I Used to be like that with poop Don't get me start you want you legitimately like one of the first few times that I came to Connecticut
Starting point is 00:11:05 I was it was like a legit worry of mine like your sister was driving me else I call this is embarrassing if they gotta tell just to like fucking pull over cuz I got a dump I don't go on long trips not driving because I don't have control and what do I I'll tell you I'll tell you a fun story When I'm super hydrated, I'm a fucking issue dude dude I was stuck in the FDR after Jets game and I swear to God. I had a piece so bad I was like pinching the tip of my dick and it was like squirting out like an arterial spurt Okay, this was some fucking serious. That's damaging. It is you can't do that. You gotta you gotta clench within I don't know what I'm holding. Why are we as a society so against peeing places like let me just fucking pee anywhere
Starting point is 00:11:43 I want yeah, if we're gonna let the dogs piss everywhere We should be able to piss everywhere like well you can't show your penises to children. I'll fucking come I'll get a jacket or something. You don't need to see my penis for me to pee There should be penis booths. No, not penis booths piss booths just like urinals in the street Not in the street per se this far enough away from like any school or like park but just like yo Emergency peas. I think they're I think I should be illegal to be like oh you got to buy something like fuck you
Starting point is 00:12:13 I'm not buying your yeah, that is suck my horse shit. I'm gonna go piss on your window That is horseshit I always walk in and like I instantly feel bad cuz I like anytime I walk into these places Guess what if you work at a Starbucks in Manhattan, I don't want anything you have I'll tell you what I want that porcelain fucking castle throne that you got in that bathroom over I have to set it off. I don't give a fucking shit about your croissant Yeah, but I think I saw an app recently where you can like order up like an emergency bathroom and it like pulls up in like a van Ex squeeze me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's like you call this number and you're like yo
Starting point is 00:12:48 I need to go right now and they're like all right. Yo seven like nine dollars We'll be there in five minutes hold it and they come and it's like a fucking truck And it's like yo get in the back of the truck use the bathroom and then they drive away Are you fucking serious? It's a fucking genius idea And nine dollars shit What would you rather do Joey Frank a nine dollars to take a shit know this I'd pay nine hundred dollars in certain situations That I've been I will do anything. It's fucking you don't want to you don't want to you know shit in those brand-new, santa gato studios mint green shorts
Starting point is 00:13:25 Oh, he's good guys What is that bad boy going on sale? I have no idea. It's cool. It's cool. Yeah, there's hats coming I just said that for some reason. Yeah, there's hats coming and they're sick I know I can't wait to not get one. No, you're gonna get one. Oh, I will you've been getting every sample suck my peepee That I don't that's that was a that's not a sample trial. Yeah, it was like a mock Oh, so you're putting it on display though I was sent a bunch of different colors and then I picked the ones anything that you get give me one For me and one for my wife you greedy bitch. So
Starting point is 00:14:01 Here's where we draw a line Everybody say fuck or or I'll do you one better do me instead of giving me ex-els because you're aware What's happened? I don't give you ex-els. They do I give you the L's no I get two larges. Oh, I thought you give me an excel. No. No. Well, all right start getting me a medium Because that'll fit her and it'll promote me to lose these Okay, because I've got a pair of fucking bazookas on me right now fat tits. I got the fat titties right now Someone in my comments or it was on one of the episodes. They said Jesus Christ Frankie do a push-up It's like
Starting point is 00:14:41 Okay, it's true though, you know sometimes you got to do sometimes Oh, man, you have to go even know what I just do you remember we we knew someone who said that they walked into a Poor dealership with with cash With $10,000 in cash. Uh, sounds familiar. Do you remember that story? Yeah We know someone that once told us that they walked into a poor dealership with cash and then they were denied I walked into a uh When I got my bmw. Mm-hmm. I walked in there with
Starting point is 00:15:12 Not cash with credit. Mm-hmm and like Enough money to buy it. Yeah, and they were like, no What? Yeah, because I mean because at the my uh I didn't have a long credit history. Yes. Yeah, that makes sense. Which makes no sense. I have good credit I've never missed the payment, but I'm just saying I don't know why I'm like I swear to god. Yeah, never miss a payment. Um, but I was just going I was saying that to show that like I mean, you know if you walk into into a dealership of $10,000, they're gonna go like what are you?
Starting point is 00:15:47 I don't know any vehicle that costs $10,000 except for a fucking horse and buggy a really good bike Even then that's got to be more expensive, right? Like Lance Armstrong's riding on like 30k Oh, yeah, well right now. He's it's not well. I don't know what he's doing Yeah, I think he's just like lost everything. He lives in like aspen. I think does he I think I could have sworn I saw something on like vogue or something. I don't know. Is he back He got he was cheated. He got cheated. He Someone cheated. No. Yeah, he he was doping, but they were all dope. Who are we all? Yeah. Hey, I'm not we I would have never Doped why not you doped? No, I'm not doped
Starting point is 00:16:23 But like if if if I was in the 90s and I was a professional athlete and there was no fucking science to catch me Go ahead. Oh, hell. Yeah. I'd be double dipping into blood. What was he doing double with the blood blood cycling blood? I don't know. I know he had one ball Yeah, that was a different that was a different thing that had nothing to do with it That had something to do with the cancer that he had. I know he had cancer, but like Did he didn't did he say like it's because of the one ball he needed more? No, he was doing it because like everyone was doing it. So he's like, you know, we I had to basically keep up I got a question for you. Okay
Starting point is 00:16:57 Instead of getting him a second week, can I just get my my testicles done like cut out? Well, uh Yeah, if this was 1813 why 1813? What are the what do testicles do? Outside of produce come I mean, it's more of like a pride thing like is it your balls you want to get rid of them? Are they in your way? You bought a less thing to hurt one less thing to hurt. Yeah What if you want to come one day? Why and make a why well like I could make could I still like fucking
Starting point is 00:17:28 Orgasm can I still like do I need to the do I need to bring the physical boys to the party or can I just you know Imagine them there. I think that you're gonna have a tough time orgasming or finding someone to orgasm you When you don't have a fucking ball sack I didn't say the sack is going just the balls in it. You just want to scoop them out Why not? I'll keep my dick too. That ain't going nowhere. Well, I would hope yeah This any doctors I don't even know what you're asking any doctors on here Did you just say any doctors on here like there's doctors watching this? There are who do we do? We know anyone's in the oar right now about to scrub in like put on the base here
Starting point is 00:18:08 Jesus christ they figured it out Um, is there do we know I hate this so much dude? I don't know why I love it I also hate every single doctor show that ever exists on tv like Grey's Anatomy and all these things Yeah, I don't watch them. There's a thousand seasons of it and like house Yo house is the same episode every single time it starts with him taking painkillers Every episode got a problem and he's just like not shaving and he's got a fucked up leg or something. He's like Yeah, what's with that leg? What is it? I don't he's a doctor fix his own leg Well, I think he had polio or something that I completely made that up. I don't know
Starting point is 00:18:42 He might have I don't know what polio does to a person, but I imagine it would mess up your leg I think it fucks up their lungs too. That could do it, but he's just he just takes painkillers and then he's like Yeah, what and it's like we can't figure out how and then he just walks in he's like And then everyone's healed like that's the whole show Every episode is him being like have you tried this? You know like why would we do that? But just try it and then they're fine and I'm like, what the fuck is this show? People love their medical dramas do Grey's Anatomy craziness
Starting point is 00:19:13 Yeah, there was a a bomb in the hospital at one point people are getting killed and shot and people are getting I mean people are getting killed and shot in hospitals all the doctors the doctors. You never know Name a hospital where the whole staff is just dead Oh Or dying or whatever. I don't know, but I'm sure it's out there somewhere Was there a hospital in Chernobyl like I'm sure people are hurt over there Well, yes. Yes, people are hurt in Chernobyl. Actually, Chernobyl is very nice now apparently. I mean, I wouldn't go I think it's still uninhabited to an extent, but now I'm talking about like animals and shit
Starting point is 00:19:47 Like it's actually like a like a like an animal sanctuary. Not saying sanctuary is a bad word That I would describe Chernobyl, but I it's it's like Re-growing okay. Yeah, it's re-growing, but it's also beautiful like there's I'm sure it is It's really cool to see rabbits with 12 heads. No, no, no, no regular rabbits. Oh just chillin old rabbits Yeah, like deers and shit cutie cute rabbits and deer just running about Yeah, I'm just saying, you know The earth prevails. I think the radiation there is like it's like fucking permanently like fucked It's crazy
Starting point is 00:20:16 I don't even know what radiation is if you told me like you sat here and explained Chernobyl to me I like that was the thing people were everyone was talking about that showing how good it was I watched it like a fucking moron and I was like Oh, yeah, it's real good. Everyone was talking about like, oh, it's so good. Oh my god And I'm sitting there. I had no fucking clue what I was watching Dude, the actual like the craziest part about that is like when it melted like the reactor or whatever There was like this shit. It looks like elephants foot. Yeah. Yeah, and they said that it weighed like An insane amount. Yeah, like I it's like hard for me to they said that my mind around
Starting point is 00:20:52 I think I saw something that was like it was so saturated with radiation, which again, no clue what that means Yeah, radiation. Yeah that you couldn't get close enough to take a picture of it because you it would kill you instantly Like what and there is a picture of it. I don't know how I don't know yet guys probably I don't know how they did this I don't know how they did this but it was so weird because it looks like a puddle on the ground Yeah, they called the elephants foot. Yeah, but it's so heavy that like you nothing could pick it up So my understanding which again Literally none is that it's like chemicals
Starting point is 00:21:26 Radiated chemicals like it's like radium and like xylophomium or something. What it is is dangerous play-doh It does look fun. It's dangerous play-doh. Don't make something that by the way played with play-doh the other day Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, you forget how good that is not me. Oh, you're play-dohing play-dohing up You've you've played with it. Oh, I ate a little bit Not supposed to do that. Well, you can now it's non-toxic now that doesn't mean you can eat it I mean, I was to prove a point. Miles made me a very nice spaghetti ice cream sandwich And had to you know take a little bit of a bite What's a spaghetti ice cream sandwich? It is uh ice cream
Starting point is 00:22:05 That is like noodles like spaghetti on a cookie Oh Spaghetti ice cream. It's pretty good. It was pretty good. Hey, you ate it. I took a little bite It was very bad. It was very salty. I don't know what it's made of but it was not good Non-toxic. Yeah, you can eat it now. You can do it all. You can do all that shit now Yeah, remember those markers that those sent sento markers that I've sucked on a marker
Starting point is 00:22:30 I've licked a marker before like those markers that smell like peaches. I'm like, I'm sucking this marker Don't give don't give me a marker. That's like cherry and not expect my mouth around the shaft of that pen Dude, you're gonna give children stuff that smells like candy I'm sucking it 100% yeah 100 and 100,000 percent and you might be low with that percentage right I might be But like that's the thing is like all these things that you're not supposed to eat drink or put in your mouth Look awesome. By the way scratching at one time
Starting point is 00:23:02 I got a test back and I got like a 92 so I got like a scratch and sniff sticker on it humble brag Scratched it smelled it. It was like this smells good licked it. Why not slammed it I think that's a science is like if something smells good. It has to taste good. I'm a kid I'm eating everything don't put something you ever eat paper. Have I ever eaten paper? How do you think I got rid of these fucking notes that were passed to me, baby? Yeah, I told you Frank uses swallow notes like a prisoner, dude Can't catch them
Starting point is 00:23:32 She can't get them if they're gone We're passing notes in class and that you should be like what is that and on it would be written like uh, Stacy's a fucking bitch and he'd be like, oh, no, no, no, and he would just eat it What's up crazy? Yeah, of course dude. That is don't fucking listen You're not getting the you know, it's it's like It's like fucking drugs. You shove them up your ass or shove them down your throat. You can't get them then I I've definitely eaten my fair share of paper. I've eaten weird stuff. I feel like I remember like I mean dirt I had a chance. I'm sure I've had dirt. I know I've had sand
Starting point is 00:24:05 Yeah, involuntarily. Yeah, I was gonna say um, I've had sand as as you know as recently as a couple weeks ago Yeah, I've I I could tell you I've I've recently had paper Because I remember someone like the gullible dumb bitch. I am was like, yo, you know orbit gum I'm like, yeah, and they were like, yo the wrappers on orbit gum are fucking dissolvable. You can eat it I was like, oh, all right. I would just pop orbit with the paper in my mouth. Nice. Guess what? Joke was on me paper. Oh full paper super paper. It was more paper than normal paper Yeah, I'm sure it dissolves as all paper does but I will say loose leaf paper was quite delicious
Starting point is 00:24:41 Very chewy little earthy took it took a while to get it down and once you did though It wasn't bad. It went in it was definitely in I'll tell you right now though The I'm getting like goosebumps thinking about biting onto paper. It just like bothers me Well, you don't bite construction paper those types of things. I mean, what kind of a sociopath are you with those fucking canines? Maybe you'll well, well, yeah, I mean construction paper is a little more hard to deal with. It's not easy. That's for sure Dude, why do why were we so like horny for construction paper as kids construction paper is pretty cool because like loosely if it was like Yeah, it's just regular paper whatever it's in my binder, but then the teacher would be like, all right We're doing construction paper and I was like
Starting point is 00:25:20 I was a big freak for fucking graph paper dude when the graph paper came out. I was all about all the grids Oh, it's pretty cool grids. Have you asked me to do a parabola bro? No, dude I don't even know what that shit is Give me a piece of graph paper and I'll show you the cutest sine curve you've ever seen in your whole life I'm pretty sure that I wait pretty sure. I'm pretty sure. Okay Before sure Pretty sure, right. I'm pretty sure that I can I completely missed parabolas Well, I never did that. I know parabolas like my class did x squared
Starting point is 00:25:54 Or sine cosine sine cosine. What's the other one tangent tan? Do you remember so katoa so katoa? Oh, yeah I do remember so katoa, but I know that I didn't do well in that year. I was very good. I was a math whiz I was really really good at math my in I remember in high school And this is probably when the parabolas started parabolas were about high school my averages I missed like two classes because I was sick and I I was like brother rub. Can we for a second just go back and it What's up, bro? And he would just look at me
Starting point is 00:26:24 And I felt the power of christ in me telling me like you're gonna fucking fail this semester Well, you did go to a religious school. So that makes sense. Yeah, so he was walking around He had the robes on and stuff, but he was a cool cat. Oh, so the priests were just teaching about fucking history and math Yeah, dude, this guy was mapping us hard with the word of god. Are you kidding me? Yeah How I don't know but it's just you know, you do want to misbehave in that class because not only do you get detention Did he like feel like ups like did he get like super hard-ons anytime he'd like do like an addition question? be like three plus four
Starting point is 00:26:59 I hate that joke um No, but I my what am I doing? I just felt like I uh, no my averages were like 84 uh 82 no it was like 84 89 61 way down And then like whatever some other 80 something. Okay, so but that one semester I missed two classes and then it not was it and I was telling him like yo, I am not understanding this like I'm just Like I'm a good student like just help me out and he was like nah, bro I was really really good at math like time marches on when I was in college
Starting point is 00:27:33 Um, the head of the math department hit me up and they're like, yo, do you want to just be a math major? And I I I literally went into the meeting. I was like, will you pay for my school? And they were like no and I was like so then no, I'm not gonna fucking do it. Guess what though My other my other fucking I didn't get paid either way My other fucking major wasn't that good at math. Yeah, really really good Can you do like simple math like not simple math, but like you could do math like off the top of your head like Yeah, Keith's pretty good at that pretty easy. Um, but the way that Keith does math I do it like broken
Starting point is 00:28:02 So if you were to that's what he does too if you were to tell me like 68 plus 51 I would do like 60 plus 50 8 plus 1 you do times. Yeah, wait, what you said. Oh 60 plus 50 at least at times No, I I don't but that's what Keith does like I never even thought to do that until Keith started explaining that to me By the way, we're talking about within five years. He's this is what he's explained to me Uh-huh. Um, so I've gotten this whole time like I still can't do simple addition without like at least pant like writing it down Yeah, somewhere. No, I got up to calculus three and like differential equations and stuff like that I actually my junior year did really well in math and they were like we have the option of going to
Starting point is 00:28:39 calculus or AP calc or stat uh, probably in stat I was like bro senior year Statistics, I like statistics slammed it. Yeah, it's not bad. I remember my mad easy She put it in terms of like baseball like era and stuff like that. I was like, oh, yeah, but yeah, I went all the way in college Basically in college. I was trying to pad my grades So I kept taking math courses because of how fucking good I wasn't math
Starting point is 00:29:06 And I went up. Yeah, I went up to like differential equations and shit like that. I don't even know what that means. It's like part of it is like you take The you like the volume of like a cylinder How to like get that on like a curve and stuff like that on like a graph I was fucking good, dude. You speaking Korean. I did. I kept all my shit too Like I kept my books. So like if I ever want to like go back to it, I can just open them back up like my notes Did you just say that you kept your notes? Yeah
Starting point is 00:29:39 That's how interested in math you are. Yeah, I have all my notes from like most of my college classes not just math Wow, you're a digit loving boy. What's up, babe? That's crazy. What's up? I'm not good at that Were you what was your like your thing in school besides gym? We know um English, I guess I could write pretty well. You were you were a good writer But I won that contest in fifth grade. You remember that what contest The one about 9 11 That's true
Starting point is 00:30:10 It was 9 11 though It was what contest did we have about 9 11? It was an essay writing contest. Oh Yeah, you came to the dinner. That's right. They gave me an award at a dinner. They did surprise Fucking I remember. Yeah. Wow. I forgot about that until this very second. Yeah. Yeah You had to like write an essay about like what it like what fucking nine weird thing. No, it was it was uh, what? What is a hero or something? Yeah? Yeah, and you talked about my dad's friend a firefighter. Yeah Yeah, and uh, wow, I forgot about that all the yo looking back
Starting point is 00:30:45 What a good strategy by me bro Very smart. No way. You don't give it to a kid who's talking about a guy who died on 9 11 Especially in a school who had a teacher who was a firefighter Hey, who actually who also died on 9 11 died on 9 11. Wait, he wasn't a teacher He was an after-school volunteer. He was like an actual volunteer. He was someone's Who's a teacher's son? Yes, but he also Taught at the hannock program. Oh, I didn't know that that's where I used to play pokemon with him and he would name his pokemon mr. Ass
Starting point is 00:31:15 road dog Damn, he liked wrestling like he was he was a big wrestling kid mr. Ass. Yeah He named his Pikachu mr. Ass dude if you play pokemon you don't name your like Like nemesis like cunt boy or something like come on. What's wrong with you? I mean, I can't tell you like pussy shit pokemon snap My name was bitch Bitch yeah professor oak just being like let's say your pictures bitch I mean, he didn't say bitch, but you know the words popped up. Yeah, it's cool I was also mad nervous about like playing gay boy around my mom because of gay boy
Starting point is 00:31:48 Yes, playing with a gay boy. No, what did you say game boy? I thought you were just opening up about being gay. No, I was like, yeah, I was playing with a gay boy No, I was playing I was nervous about playing like game boy in front of my mom because like all of the dialogue was filled with like Fucking Shithole like I was just making up names for everybody. Yeah. Yeah. Also. You could rename your pokemon That's what he would do. Mr. Ass road dog like he gave him names. Yeah, I can't even tell you bitch Fuck thundertips shit. Yeah poop like all of them were
Starting point is 00:32:21 pokemon of mine and just characters You're a pokemon guy not a pokemon pokemon pokemon pokemon pokemon pokemon pokemon. I hate pokemon Why pokemon that's what the the parents lazy the parents did the pokemon My dad would pokemon your dad pokemon hard. Oh, no, he probably main. He probably pokemon. What's with this pokemon? My dad hasn't pronounced anything correct. He used to think uh twitter was twat I was like different things that's comedy for that's he's just that's a bit well Yeah, I hope but I don't he's like you twittin twatting and I was like, I'm not doing either Your dad's not a dumb person. So when he says stuff like that, I know that it's it's a bit
Starting point is 00:33:02 Oh, man, I I think you're dumb for what you just said. Why I don't think my dad's like a like I never said He's a genius, but he's not dumb. He's got spots where he shines like construction. Mm-hmm and like You know negotiating at least yeah, but everything else is very dark Yeah, I think about that my dad sometimes very great. He'll never listen to this one because he doesn't approve of me and two I'm kidding but like my dad and two it's in English. Yeah If my dad doesn't hear Like he's not gonna fucking listen, you know, whoa, olimpica like he doesn't give a fuck now. He's listening. He's like, hold on Wait, go go back to that. Go back for a second
Starting point is 00:33:47 Was that whole hey, so don't I like that one Oh If it doesn't have the gypsy king stamp of approval my dad doesn't give a fuck My dad was we were in the car and we were passing a billboard and my dad sees me go You know what that is. I'm like, what it goes Dead serious a fucking dead series. He goes no sublicical messaging And I was like dad. What the fuck did you just say he threw a k in there? He threw a fucking whole k in there
Starting point is 00:34:17 Subric sublicacal I'm like, what did you say? You got a sublicacal messaging. You don't realize what you look at And I'm like dad. It's subliminal and then he died laughing My dad is a smart person and what he is known like what he's good at My dad once came up to us at the lake house because when we were For years we at the whole summer we'd spent at the lake house. Yeah, my dad had a laptop And he came back and the laptop cord. You're saying lab top You're saying lab
Starting point is 00:34:53 You're like the first time you sat and I let it go but then you went and then the laptop and you said it I guess I'm just laptop lap laptop laptop Put a p in there two p's laptop. Oh, I was gonna say there is a p And the the cord was like the the power cord got like snipped But my dad thought that one of us took scissors and snipped it Instead of it was like in a doorway So my dad said he's like, all right, which one of you motherfuckers. I know exactly what happened. You cut the cord I was like, dad, let me ask you something
Starting point is 00:35:23 If I wanted to get back at you, you think I would snip your fucking power cord on your laptop that you're probably using to watch porn? No I'm fucking toss the whole thing. Oh, god Laptops speaking of laptops I'm gonna pick up this laptop so I can get to the ads here Can you buy me a car? Yeah You heard it. You got it A hot wheels. Here we go Uh, the first one we have here is harry's delivering a super close and comfortable shave. We have harry's, okay
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Starting point is 00:38:23 These are the headphones that you want to get. All right, go to ue.com slash fits use that promo code basement for 15 off Next here we have honey Honey, it's just going to save you money That rhymes. Um, but it's a browser extension that you download and uh, it's free It takes a few seconds and then when you're shopping online, it's supported on over 30 000 online stores It will just scour the internet for coupons and uh, Like promo codes or whatever and save you the most money you could possibly get for this item
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Starting point is 00:40:08 Well, that's sweet just refreshing water from the Alps That I don't even know I don't even ask him where the Alps are. I don't even know if the Alps are in the sky In the swiss sweet Sweden. I know no no no austria Guys, we don't know but listen. This water is amazing. All right, and it looks like a beer It looks like a can looks like beer not the water. No, no No, the can looks like a beer. It's called liquid death. There's like a melting skull on it So you look like a fucking badass You know why they call it liquid death because you're fucking you're you're beating a piss out of your thirst
Starting point is 00:40:42 You're murdering your thirst. Fuck that thirst up and it comes in aluminum Aluminum can so you're also murdering the plastic thing so if you know if you care about the turtles doll Or the dolphins or any sort of add I think everyone's affected by plastic. I think all of us are yeah Switch to the can. You know what I'm saying? Also, it's just mad refreshing to drink out of a can It just is it's just easier. You ain't lying. You got tall boys. You're slamming them It's for also you could drink them you could shock on them and guess what also you got Because if you're if some people like myself not a big still water boy. Oh, no, what do I need?
Starting point is 00:41:20 A sparkling water boom liquid Liquid death is gonna fuck your thirst up with their sparkling water and their mountain water Yeah, they'll fucking nail your throat a little bit. They're gonna bubble. They're gonna fuck you up. Yeah, they'll do everything Hey, man, they said just just let it rip let it rip. Um, but uh, yeah liquid death big fans of liquid death Uh, whenever they send me a care package I keep telling them you got to send more Because they you don't send enough ever like I run through cases of this like you would like it's nobody's business Yeah, he and and he also doesn't give me any so what are you gonna do? Oh, well, I was just
Starting point is 00:41:56 Absolutely robbed by frankie last time. I was like, hey man, you want some of this like, you know, they sent me And he just took all of them. Well, listen, that's the that's the kind of that's the kind of Fucking passion I have for liquid death. That's how fucking good that shit was whatever Um, but anyway, if you go to liquiddeath.com slash basement You'll get a free set of koozies with your first order of any case of water Um, or just grab some of my whole foods or 7 11. Okay If you're going to 7 11 because you want to get one of those 80 year old hot dogs or a fucking 48 gallon slurpee. Why don't you hold it?
Starting point is 00:42:30 Go get some fucking water with death, baby Trust me. You need it Also, if you're going to whole foods to pay 50 dollars for fucking but almond butter Also stop in and get a fucking liquid death you piece of shit. Yeah, listen If you have 80 dollars to get fucking roasted cauliflower, you also have another couple bucks to get liquid death. It's worth it Yep, uh liquid death.com slash basement. Again, you get a free set of koozies With your first order of any case of water guys telling you liquid death. This is the one. Uh, definitely go check them out Hey, what do they expect?
Starting point is 00:43:07 Also guys, make sure you go check out the patreon page patreon.com slash the basement yard You sign up you get every weekly episode a week in advance So you can get in on the jokes and the conversation before everybody else does you watch those videos You say hey comments from six days ago. I want to be first. I want to be second Guess what sign up for the patreon and you can do it and then also every single friday exclusive episodes No one else gets the opportunity to see except for our patrons and we're at 8200 right now as of recording we get to 8500 We're doing a power hour episode. Joey and I are grabbing a fucking 12 pack
Starting point is 00:43:41 We're pouring the shot taking a shot of beer every hour and lord knows every minute every minute for four hours No, it's gonna be dead. I'll be dead No every minute for an hour and we don't know what the fuck will happen. I'm scared So make sure you go check it out patreon.com slash the basement yard And joey the the boop the booping in your butt video should be up soon. Huh? Yep. It's going up right. That's going up right today Right today. So if you want to see joey finally get creampied You can go go to patreon patreon.com. Joey doesn't get creampied. Okay, you get an enema of cream in your butt It's not cream. It's a creamy substance. It's a watery substance. It's watery
Starting point is 00:44:21 It's less cream the viscosity is not as aggressive as like a heavy cream But there is some level of creaminess to it. I'm not gonna hear it and I listen. I know what happened in there All right, I know How you feeling? Clean So go check it out again patreon.com slash the basement yard, baby. Yes Um, also now that we've gotten, you know, all this stuff out of the way, uh, you know Cool show loved it, you know, whatever people are like, oh man, you guys are funny
Starting point is 00:44:51 I need to apologize to a to a A group a group of people. Um, specifically, I you know, I have no idea what you're gonna say right now So I don't know like it's just the end of the basement yard No, so listen, it's actually am I broke again? I'm I I was Laughing so hard when this happened that I hit my forehead on my steering wheel. Oh, okay You'll be careful. So yeah, no, so this is what happened, right? I was in the car and um You know, it was just me and Keith in the car and we're waiting outside of cvs
Starting point is 00:45:26 Okay, and we're just You know It's in like a parking lot and I'm and there's spots everywhere. I'm blocking one spot Because I'm not parked in it. I'm just like you pull up. Yeah. I'm like perpendicular. Is that right? Like a t 90 degrees whatever it is Um, so I'm I'm there and I'm blocking the spot and then there's a car behind me And I'm like what the fuck is going on like just go around me, you know So I pull up like a little bit and then you know, they just like get closer to me
Starting point is 00:45:52 So I throw on my hazard so that's no like I'm not moving like I'm staying here Um, and then they honk at me and I'm like, what the like there's enough room So I'm like the fuck is wrong with this guy. It's fucking idiot. Oh boy Pull away Right into the handicapped Yeah Bro, I was like I literally was like the fuck is wrong with this guy Almost almost almost let it ring almost let it ring. I almost dropped it on our word. That would have been bad
Starting point is 00:46:24 I almost been like, what is this? Almost good. Well, you're a better person for not doing it. I'm proud of you. Well, I just did it. So I So I but like I do it on there. I pulled up bro and me and Keith are looking in the rear view and we just see this car just Pull in we And then I just went like this Oh, they're handicapped and then Yo, Keith burst into laughter and I was laughing so hard. I was I was like slamming my head on my fucking. All right, but here's the real question I didn't I didn't I didn't want to even see you didn't even want to know I couldn't look for who exited that car
Starting point is 00:46:59 I didn't know if it was just like an old person or for someone who had some like, I don't know what the fuck was going on I was gonna say it could have been it could have been one of those people that just like rig the system That like, you know, everyone knows that old Italian like middle-aged Italian guys just like me. I'm perfectly fine But I tell them I got a stigmatism and guess what I'm handicapped. Yeah, you know Uh, but yikes. Yeah, it was it was uh, it was a thing. I gotta say I'm a little upset. All right Uh, because you're pronouncing your t's insane. Here we go There used to be A lot of parking for new and or expecting mothers and that would be great
Starting point is 00:47:36 I'd be driving in the car Becca and I would be going to Costco or fucking she wants to go to home goods or whatever other fucking stupid store And there used to be like multiple spots now They took all those away for these people that are doing the drive-up things And it's like why is it when Becca's now pregnant and I get to reap the benefits of her doing all this hard work That I can't fucking that they take these parking spots away. Wait, it's for what dropping off No, well now it's for like the drive-up orders like you can like order it and like drive up texas When you're here and just bringing to your car no contact So now if you're a new parent then you gotta like they used to have ones where it was like, oh, here's handicap
Starting point is 00:48:15 And then here the spot right next to it'll be like three spots for pregnant, you know expecting and or new mothers And that would be great because there was one time back and I got it and we got fucking right out Walked in big bang bang bought our stuff, you know, whatever bought the fucking expired makeup from marshals And then we got back in the car and we were good Now they took all that shit. It's gone. Damn. It was very upsetting sundew. It was I got sunned. I did get sunned Yeah, that's crazy. I can't believe that you were blocking like you're gonna get canceled now. Do you that well?
Starting point is 00:48:48 Well, I just apologize Oh, oh, it's then you see the handicap community for for like blocking the spot pre-canceling apology. Do you know? Yeah, you got to get ahead of it. That's damn damn right. You do. That's why I go to media training Why don't you tell him about some of your older? Can you imagine that first of all? The idea that there's like media training What's media training? That's a real life thing that people do. What do you mean media training like talking to the media? Oh, what they train you how to talk to them and how to like dance around questions. That's so stupid
Starting point is 00:49:19 It's it's it's isn't that insane that like just just answer the question or just don't Take things out of context media Or don't like yeah, don't ask a fucking Well, it's because people like TMZ will be like fucking Arnold Schwarzenegger blinked three times during this question Nazi, you know like Jesus christ like you're looking way too much into things people make money off of that shit I saw a brief clip of like the Kardashians in media training and like they probably just do it because they have nothing else to do on their fucking tv show, but
Starting point is 00:49:50 It's like insane. It's like well, uh, Kendall your body language here is like not good Like people are gonna think that I just want to be like Shut the fuck up craig there Like shut up listen up barty. I don't give a fuck what I look like you know my body language sucks because I don't want to Fucking talk to these people. That's why there is a level I think something that is legitimately becoming more and more of a bygone like mentality is like Just straight up not giving a fuck the way that you're perceived
Starting point is 00:50:20 Like I was having this conversation not long ago and someone was like, uh, you know You don't realize how you come off and it was like I don't give a fuck How I come off. I'm gonna tell you something if I say I'm tired. I want to go home Guess what take it is this I'm fucking tired and I want to go home. Don't take it as like. Oh my god There's a hidden agenda. Holy shit. Look at his body language. Look at this Look at the way he's leaning back and holding his arms just everyone here everyone listening just Shut the fuck up
Starting point is 00:50:54 And there you have it folks Well, no, it does aggravate me because people now like Since when is perception reality? Like people have like I remember one of our friends was taking a like a fucking marketing class and they were like perceptions reality I was like, no realities reality Well, uh, that I don't necessarily agree with I think that your perception can be reality
Starting point is 00:51:18 The way you perceive something can influence the way that you like like that you think about it But the fact of the matter is that there are certain things that you can't Like anyone can take anything in any context, but there's you just in this in escapably There's one answer to what it is. You know what I mean? Yeah, but the way that you interpret it can change I guess But that's what I'm saying. The interpretation is stupid. That's why there's media training thing going back to that It's fucking stupid if someone asks me a question like oh, what are you excited for this movie? I'm gonna say yeah I just like here's my thing, right? So like there's media training to everyone if you're a famous person You're talking to the media. You have to answer questions a certain way so that you're not
Starting point is 00:51:55 Uh, you know, there's not a pr firestorm and like, you know, whatever you're coming off is mean or you're you know, whatever It's like, okay. The result of that becomes Basically the interviews like in the NBA like they interview all the players. They all say the same things Oh, you know, they're a great team and like, you know, we you know kind of had it tonight and and this and that but a lot It's like Why even do the interviews if this is if we're gonna train everyone to sound the same and to say the same things and like Don't say how you truly feel because it could be perceived bad and it's not you have to represent the franchise It's like what's the point of the interviews?
Starting point is 00:52:29 But but a lot of this not a lot But some of this stems from the way that the media treated women in terms of the way that their Responses were to things and so if a woman goes out there and says like i'm angry They're labeled a bitch if a man goes out there and says they're angry. They're passionate You know what I mean? So the reason that stuff like that media training It's kind of frustrating is because it's not attacking the root issue if the root issue is the way that women are portrayed or Or different character, you know different classifications of people, you know people of color hispanics gay straight, you know, whatever if
Starting point is 00:52:58 The issue is how they're being Conveyed by the media and how they're being portrayed by the media We shouldn't then be like let's adjust to that like no fix the fucking problem instead of adjusting to to pander to it No, I agree and that's and that's why i'm saying like You know like oh if you say this with this sort of emphasis then the media is going to take it and they're going to run with it And it's like well then go talk to them like bro like fix that like me exactly exactly Don't fix don't tell me to adjust to fucking play their game
Starting point is 00:53:28 Like have them fucking adjust to be halfway decent human beings That's why like you get marshawn lynch being like i'm just here so i don't get fined like that's how you Cheat the system. That's how you fucking do it, babe. Yeah, you're just like yeah, I am not gonna answer any of your questions I'll tell you this we are gonna need media training because we might be on tv soon I signed us up for legends of the hidden temple, baby Oh, yeah Ladies and gentlemen, so I saw on twitter. They're like, yo, they're casting adults For a reboot of legends of the hidden temple on cw. No one's gonna watch it, but like they're casting adults
Starting point is 00:54:01 Say that why not? They just lost our shot now They'll watch it if we're on it so be a silver snake, dude. I want to be a blueberry kudos so hard I'll settle for that, but if they if they if they think i'm gonna go to universal What's the worst one on the count of three three two one purple pears I said paris well paris They're pretty purple over there paris are they Are they what purple? No, okay
Starting point is 00:54:27 They're not I think of the color purple and it like reminds me of places Okay, um But you signed us up for i did i did i signed us up What's involved in it i don't know i i assume it's just like the game you remember the tv show right No, what did you have to sign like oh like it was like an application. Did you like forge my signature? No, no, no i i did my own I did my own signature, but it's like team team team number one obviously first time in my life I'm over you i'm team number one got team number two. I put your name
Starting point is 00:54:56 They asked for like a bunch of information. I didn't give it to him. Don't worry. No one's gonna have your phone number But if you want it venmo me And then it was like other questions like how long have you known each other? You know, what are your biggest strengths? What was our biggest strength biggest strength? I think I said I was like, uh Our chemistry And our insatiable hunger to beat the fucking living breaks off of anyone in any game I hope you use different language Not really honestly. No beat the fucking breaks. I didn't say fucking breaks
Starting point is 00:55:25 But I said like our insatiable hunger to be very like to win And then I think I put in there that like we've never lost in cranium What does that have to do with this? I don't know apparently it's got something to do with it Okay, but like we're like 18 to no in cranium. You don't play cranium a lot. That's pretty good. That's pretty good Yeah, one of them was like, what are your weaknesses? I just wrote lol Lol, I like that. Okay. Um, that's good. They might think they're like, oh, it's entertaining guys Well, then they asked for our instagram and twitter handles and I gave them that so if they don't see that anyone at the cw That's fucking do this. First of all, I'm sorry. I liked arrow and flash for the first couple seasons
Starting point is 00:56:02 I like the the the the frog. I like that. That was the wb Different guy. Long time ago joey It wasn't like buffing the vampire slayer on that shit. It was it was Dawson's creek I can't wait Kind of hit that a little bit, okay, uh They asked if we can swim for 200 feet. How far is that? Um, almost a football field Two-thirds of a football field That's the whole wait a second. I said, yes, I said yes, and now I'm thinking maybe I can definitely swim that
Starting point is 00:56:49 But when I get to the end of it, it says unassisted Well, I didn't think there was going to be an assist I for 200 feet. I hope that they give me some sort of like floatation device I'm sure they'll have people in the water They'll have divers to go get you if worse comes to worse if I die on that episode of legends the hidden temple Can't eat before you know get a cramp out there. You don't want that to happen. No, you don't oh mech will be upset boy Yeah, no, I think I can make it dude
Starting point is 00:57:12 Hey, legends of the hotel they put us on tv Good fucking luck all these people that go on these game shows that are like, all right. Okay. We lost bad question You know bad answer I'm going into that with fire dude. I'm gonna pop a blood vessel screaming at you ferocity Yeah, these people that are like, yo, come on. You could do it the judges You know, I remember in like the first you need to cross the moat And like if you like a party or like toe hit the water and they're like go back I'm unloading on these motherfuckers. Oh my god. I'll lose it. Like, do you know and I
Starting point is 00:57:42 I was cheated out of a out of a field day softball throw in fucking first grade and I'm not gonna let the judges ever do this Me again. I remember that because you stepped over the line a little bit, right allegedly Allegedly stepped over the line. Well, they had to give it. They had to give it to the Derek Jeter of our class No, the stress hacker. Well, he wasn't in that race. Was it? No, I fucking yo, I launched in first grade We had field day And whatever Dennis would do I was like, I can't do this anymore because he was just faster than me. I couldn't beat him So I was like, I'm gonna do the softball throw this year They took us outside and I fucking and like the fifth graders went like before us
Starting point is 00:58:19 We were in first grade and I fucking launched this bitch like further than the fifth graders and then uh Antonio from the neighborhood Was like, oh, I stepped over the line And then they dequeued a fucking first grader, bro Did you like later on in life when we would like hang out with him every now and then and like Did you like let him have it more than three times good Good let him have it. I'm like, yo, you fucking serious. Yeah, and then they dequeued me in front of the fucking school You cried
Starting point is 00:58:48 Did you I cried against the handball wall Oh To make it even worse the next day. Ms. D. Philippi gave me a card and in the card was a first place Uh thing and I was like, bitch, you don't know how this fucking works in my house and I threw it out I thought you weren't gonna say you don't know how happy I am. No, I was like, fuck that you were more mad Yeah, I was like now I'm taking this fucking bullshit. You go back to the handball court No, you didn't cry anymore. No, then I won my first place in fifth Well, we you never know we might need to throw rocks in the or balls in the fucking ledges to the hidden temple
Starting point is 00:59:21 I'll be launched. They have that big-ass temple and those fucking guards come out I'll beat a guard. Are you fucking up a guard? Yeah, dude. I'm like they better sign waivers, dude I when I get scared I get a little jumpy. Yeah, I throw kicks and do you yeah, I do I would I would a hundred percent throw a kick at one of these guards I almost kicked a dog in the face because of that really do well I mean it was behind a fence me and Keith were walking And you just start hearing like And then a dog dude this dog like ran into the fence with its face like crazy
Starting point is 00:59:52 Keith like leapt like Six feet in the air onto a car and I just threw a Johnny Cage shadow kick at the fence Very very topical at fucking Easter egg, you know pull that you had there crazy Playing and I didn't kick it but I almost like yo remember what I remember when I almost threw a basketball at a cat What you don't remember that when we were older when we were walking home from ps2 after like playing basketball And I had a basketball in my hand and it jumped out in front of us and I fucking I threw a basketball at it. I was full ready
Starting point is 01:00:24 Remember when I threw a basketball at a cat I was ready to kill this cat But I think we have a shot to get on the show. I hope so. I'm down. Where where does it feel? Whatever, why does it matter what you need a fucking Bora Bora Joe buy the tickets? No, they're buying that ticket. It's a bad expensive ticket. It's like two and a half grand Stop. Do you know where Bora Bora is in the water? Which water? All of the wall connect. So there's nothing around water. There's nothing around like literally if you look at a globe
Starting point is 01:00:55 It's like That's kind of sick. Yeah, also scary. Is it? Yeah, so um They they also asked for like Like rank how good you are at these things like these like like it's like history science math what you put for science anatomy, um, so for me I put like Sixes and sevens except for history history. I put low because I suck at history. Got it. Um, and uh
Starting point is 01:01:24 You put a ten in math, didn't you? I put a pretty high number in math Yeah, you got a pretty high number in anatomy for like human body stuff Why? I don't know. You're always telling me to like do things to my body like you're telling me how to like eat and like intake food You always have some new like yo, I'm doing intermittent fasting So like you probably know a little bit about your body That's a big assumption. Also like I don't know if you know what anatomy means now anatomy. It's not nutrition point to your humerus
Starting point is 01:01:56 Nailed it. All right, maybe you're not maybe you're not that good at it. That's like over Yeah Legs I think it's your arm Well, there you go. Yeah, uh, oh the funny bone. Maybe I think that's why they call it the funny bone because it's humorous I'll be honest with you. I just farted and it smells like sand I'm gonna chill back here like wet sand I want to pull that it just smells like a sand that you found in a in a like a goldfish tank So I need you to do me a favor call up your agent
Starting point is 01:02:23 Okay, and like be like yo make this happen because I'm trying to win some moonshine He doesn't work at the w to see the cw. Yeah, what is it? But I'm sure he knows people at the cw all these fucking people in hollywood know each other your hollywood boy No, I'm not your joey. You tubes. Okay. Okay. There was one part that asked for our nicknames and I put youtube for yours No, you didn't yes What'd you put for you none? Oh, fuck you. I don't have a nickname. I was what would I go to put facts? I'm gonna make a nickname. Go ahead three two one. I don't know. I'm gonna figure it out. Okay But you're youtube. I'm just gonna make it mad weird like rick smooth
Starting point is 01:03:00 That's right. You know what though? Okay. That's better than youtube Way better than youtube it is Uh And then they said like why should we pick you and I was like, hey, we host a mat. I said we host a massive podcast Called the base for the yard and we would fucking massive. I said massive I was like we'd crush it. We would we're going in there if we get chosen. We're winning Yeah, we have to this isn't no like fucking like oh like maybe dude if we get eliminated on the first thing I will
Starting point is 01:03:30 knock the host out What's his name kurt kurt kurt bogg kurt shilling kurt shilling. You might have trouble with him Oh, he's got some stuff going on. He's got a lot of mental stuff going on. I don't know what's going on with him A little crazy. He had a curveball though. Q anon got to him. Was that curveball he had? Uh, I might have been a 12 sixer. Yeah, he got no, I don't about that That wakefield had that or wait. No wakefield had a knuckleball knuckleball. No, he was he was still 40 miles an hour Yeah, this guy how no one would hit wakefield beside me. Yeah, I don't know I ride you or beyond you
Starting point is 01:04:02 Or can it be is beside me? Or is it beyond me Beyond I think it's both Like how like I don't know it. It's over here. It's beside me, you know It's it's confusing. So it's over on the left. This is the right. That's beyond me. That's beyond me. That's beside me I think it's behind me. I think it's both but and behind. Yeah, nothing's ever in front of you. No one ain't No, what ain't I don't know
Starting point is 01:04:30 I really think I really hope we get on that fucking show that would be good I want to fucking win and like I'm not gonna like when did you submit it today? Like this morning. Oh, yeah What did the submission start? I think this morning is when I saw it. Oh, wow fucking dope. So I I was like, all right I accidentally submitted one with just my name before like I I accidentally pressed it and then I redid it with all of our information And I'm ready to go. Nice. I think we can win and I'm not going in. You know what they're fucking like
Starting point is 01:05:00 Prizes for like the people that didn't make it across the moat those losers It's like fucking like hair gel and like candy necklaces. I want the big old I want space camp and I want moon shoes Yeah, yeah, yo, hold up. I'd like a candy necklace Oh Maybe it's like or like candy panties. Maybe it's they make panties for candy. Oh, yeah They're made of like there was an episode of a curve about that remember when he's sitting on with the the the jewish girl Yeah Yeah, no, I have to jewish. Yeah, but not jewish
Starting point is 01:05:33 Yeah, yeah, that that's Antisemitic can't say that is it I feel like all you're acting like jewish if I say if I use it in that You know manner is if you do this if you You can't early you can't you know and like the scoff is with it like it's weird And you know when you saying like us guy, he's a jew But he's a jew But if a part of you feels kind of like it sounds like because of the media it made it a dirty word Well, if you say like jew, then then you're like y'all chill
Starting point is 01:06:02 Yeah, the vigor that comes with it can affect the way that it is perceived strong right there perception is reality There you go full circle Bring it in full circle, baby. That's how you finish an episode. Damn this guy is Get us on legends of the hidden temple. I'm gonna try it. Yo if we can be on that show. Oh my god. I'm letting you know right now I like feel good about it for some reason Do you yeah good they ask for a twitter like our like our social media handles and if they look you up They're like we need to get this guy on if they see me they'll be like, okay, whatever We also had we also had to send in pictures and I sent him one of you
Starting point is 01:06:39 You want to see the one I picked? No, I don't it's a good picture. I don't want it's a good picture You're gonna ruin it by doing this, aren't you? No, it's a good picture. I sent this one in That's not a bad picture. It's a good picture. I almost sent one of me when I was skinny, but I didn't I sent a more recent one just so uh They know what they're getting. Yeah, because if they see skinny me and then they see fat me I mean, yo, you're gonna catfish the cw. Whatever. You don't want to do that. I mean, it's too late I mean, but then they'll get a little upset. They'll be like, well, I thought he was skinny and then they'll be like, they're out They're out
Starting point is 01:07:15 I'm getting this piece of shit. Yeah, this is not what I signed up for they asked for a hashtag for us And we're we'll end like this the hashtag guys hit up the cw I don't think they have anything to do with it. I think it's like the shows producers probably hit up I don't I do they have to use the hashtag the basement boys The basement boys. That's it. We're gonna get on ladies of the hidden temple. Fuck. Yeah And if we don't I'll never fucking watch that show. Yeah, I'll I'll lose my mind or I'm gonna watch it and just Be so mad and be like I could have won this thing. Yeah We we we that's what I used to do back in the day on nick gas
Starting point is 01:07:49 Nick gas. Yeah, damn Bring him back a bunch of memories. We got it. Hell yeah. All right. Anyway, we're gonna find you frank F albers 8085 on twitter and on twitch the frank alvarez on instagram. Go check me out on The movie trivia schmo down good friends of us. I compete in a movie trivia league I'm a member of the usual suspects and I want to know I'm undefeated bang So I'm basically retiring now while I'm on top. There you go Uh, you guys can go follow me at joe sanagao. Go follow the show on tiktok and instagram at the baseman yard and the patron patreon
Starting point is 01:08:22 Patreon.com slash the baseman yard sign up 300 more patrons We're gonna do a power hour. It's gonna get messy And that is all see you guys next time power me What the hell was that I heard power hour and I thought it power me I gotta be honest. I'm tired. Yeah, well, jesus

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