The Basement Yard - #299 - Naked In An Outback Steakhouse

Episode Date: June 21, 2021

Frank & Joe discuss a special kind of woman who raised hell in an outback steakhouse in Florida. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. How's everyone doing Frank? I'm doing well I'm a little upset. I don't have a fudge sickle, but I am here Yeah This is my second fudge. It was Fudge sickle. Do you want to try again? I second my My second fudge sickle foot. Yo, what the fuck is going on? My second fudge sickle Yo, what the hell? What's in that? I say it fudge sickle

My second fudge sickle. Thank you guys. That was that was that even that wasn't that clean I was missing that. Yeah, I think this is also our second time starting to record because Started realized Joey didn't hit the record button. Daddy forgot to hit record You've been tongueing that thing down for the last fucking five six minutes yo fudge pops underrated. I think they're appropriately rated Where they rated right, you know I don't think that they're like the high-end one of the best pops I don't think they're like a lick of color, but you know, they're not a lick of color They're not as bad as a strawberry shortcake one or that would that show me sure cakes aren't bad

I mean the ice pop ones are trash not as good as chocolate eclairs. We can agree on that. Oh, yeah, obviously But I think those are fire. They're right in the middle. You know what suck count it three two one cream sickles So bad. It's like Sherbert. Yeah You see sherbet or sherbert sherbert people say sherbet. Yeah. Oh fuck you like the fuck we don't say Milagna. Yeah, well We don't yeah, no one says that but like Orange creamsicles are fucking garbage. Yeah, my mom I think I've said this before but my mom for dessert used to buy this thing that looked like a loaf of bread But it was just sure and she would just cut it like I do like I do like sherbert like oh, I don't the only sherbet

I do like I will say is is baskin robbins rainbow sherbert. It is very good. Oh, wow that sucks. It's all Corn sir. No, that's disgusting. It's so good though. No, dude. I'm a very you like mint shit. No, no, no, no Oh, I don't know. I'm not one of those psychopaths that has fucking chocolate chip mint. Yeah mint chocolate fucking suck Yeah, fuck fuck. Yeah, it's like toothpaste with just fucking loads of dark chocolate in your mouth. It's gross Yeah, I'm not about that. Anyway, I wanted to read this DM that I got It's very interesting. There's a lot of emojis. I'll show you the real quick bing bing bong Yeah, so there's a lot so I'm not gonna read all of them. I'm just gonna do The emojis as they pop up like with your face. Yeah, okay, I

Don't know If this is a joke or if it's real so I'm gonna need some help is this do This is just you this got sent to you. No like nothing. This is the first message. I ever received from this person. Okay So it starts off a little hot. Yeah, okay. Oh daddy That face So it said it said oh daddy is Okay, is your little egg? Slut all right, I can't do the emojis. What's a little egg slut? Yeah, we're good. What is that?

This is the message I got on Instagram. Oh daddy is your little egg slut turning you on I Can see that cock getting hard at the side of my yoke Who refers to anything about their sexuality is their yoke? Yeah, like you look at my yoke Listen, I will say yoke best part of the egg, but Nothing on me is yokey yokey, and I don't think that Pusses her yokey. I've never I've never been like yo, I feel like I'm up with some eggs right now Stripping it like yellow goo. Oh Doctor doctor big problem. Yeah, that's not a wop. That is a fucking that is an ER visit

Yeah, that's not a wop. That's exactly. Yeah. Oh my god. Okay at the side of my yoke Do you think she's referring to her vagina or she took referring to some sort of you know I could say within you know to get to the sort of juice reproductive eggs You got to go through the vagina. Oh, she's talking about her ovaries Maybe her ovaries how would I be able to at the side of them? I what would she get an ultrasound? I think like you know how they say like the eyes or their doorway to the soul the ovaries are the door The vagina is the doorways the ovary in the eggs

Yeah, I guess so like you look out a window and you see like the beauty of life you look at a vagina And you see the future of the ovaries. I guess I don't know. I'm trying to make sense of this Yes, it's hard so sorry I can see that that hot night through I Was gonna say hot cock, but that's not written here. I don't know why I said that I can see that cock getting hot at the side of my yoke Get over here. Oh Crack my naughty shell Now I'm confused. Well, what what's the shell? What can be a shell? I think the asshole This sounds like someone that might have some sort of STI or something

There there is a thin layer of something covering the vagina. Is that a hot like a hymen a shell I think the hymen's inside. Well, yeah, I think outside there's like, you know Like a Wonderball-esque like little chocolate shell, but it made a yoke apparently gonna crack through it and it's filled with yoke Yeah, like you know how the Greeks do that game with the eggs, you know, no Yeah, yeah Yeah on Easter that the Greeks do this game with the eggs where they hard-boiled eggs decorate them make them all cute and whatever And then everyone gets their egg and they like battle and they like hit the other egg and whoever's cracks loses Fuck are you talking about maybe that's what this is maybe wait the Greeks are egg fighting on Easter

Maybe it's just my family, but they would be like they would be like Chris, so Zanesti and the other person will go like I got as I chose an easy and they would fucking bash the eggs together That's exactly what you don't know. It's not one bit. Okay. I say Anastasios. That's a person's name Yeah, that's that's our fourth grade teachers last night and close close But they bash the eggs together and whoever has the egg at the end wins I would always put my thumb at the end with a quarter on it Wait, what do you mean who has the egg as we talk so like yo so me you and say like each of these lights are people Yeah, and afford them

All of us have an egg and we hard-boiled we decorate it, you know put fucking, you know that wax crayon or whatever Yeah, and then we battle We take our egg and we go like Chris O's and Estie Anastasios and Estie And we hit our eggs together and if whoever's egg cracks oh Loses gotcha. So maybe that's this maybe this is like there's like a they're like waiting for someone to crack their little They're a little naughty shell shell. I don't know she said naughty shell. Yeah get over here crack my naughty shell Which I thought it was you know an asshole because that's like a hard thing to get the you know You can you could just you could kind of like waltz your way into a vagina

Well, no some people you can waltz your way in and out of a butthole Depending yes, yes, who's who's hitting you up Jenna Jameson or someone of that stature? I don't know But okay, we'll move on get over here crack my naughty shell and listen to me sizzle as I hit that hot oily pan Now now I'm like completely there's there's some foodies out there that might be really into this Crack my naughty shell and listen to me sizzle as I hit that hot oily pan. I think the naughty shell might be a like metaphor metaphorical way of saying like I am under under this Person you see I'm a whore. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah So like my naughty shells like what's going to get me there?

Yeah, so crack my naughty shell crack my naughty shell make me a fucking dirty slut Let me pour out into your oily pan. Yeah, is it my pan or is it the like a pan? I think the pan of life the pant like the yeah pan of life the pant like society exactly, okay I don't know why it would be oily, but then it says fill fill me up with your juices Well, no, I don't know if I have and what kind of juices do you put with egg? I guess milk you put a little milk I saw us ketchup. Maybe but you don't fill it up. You kind of drizzle on top. Yeah, I never yeah I can't fill in this person. I think they're going for something here, but they're not really hitting it I think they're using the wrong food. Yes, is that that's the problem like if they were like hello

I'm a donut Now I could fill that fill me with jelly. Yeah, Boston cream. Yeah, what's that? Yeah, exactly Boston cream Those are good donuts. They're okay. Jelly donuts are the supreme jelly. Donuts are great You can fry me as much as you want That's sex. I assume. Yeah Daddy But be careful not to overcook my yolks What all right, so this is how can I do that well over a lot of sex is gonna overcook those

They're gonna fuck up those ovaries you go too far in you're gonna batch those bad boys up And now you can you have too much sex and ruin it like an egg? And you know, I thought I wouldn't be surprised. Oh You're not gonna like this next part. Oh boy. I Want them wet and runny just for you egg daddy. Yeah, that's how it ended So clearly I'm the egg daddy. Well, yeah, you're the egg daddy. She wants them wet and runny I I will say I do like my eggs over easy a lot of run to them You like you like them. I like a lot of run to my eggs sprinting eggs. I want them to be yeah You know that just just like I bite into it and it's on my chin. Oh, you want it

You want it just a mess? I want a disaster going on on my plate got clearly this person does too Yeah, but not on a plate on an oily pan of life Don't we all don't we all want to just be a mess on everyone else's oily pan? I Don't know that I don't but I don't know that I do you know what that's pretty fair So that's the message that I got just to run. I'm gonna run through it buried Here. Oh daddy is your oh, okay. What's wrong with you today? There's a thousand emojis It's hard to read. I'm bouncing around fucking, you know That emoji like can you do that? I haven't seen the rest of the emojis. What other emojis?

There's there's a lot dude. There's like other face the spraying one. Yep. There's there's an eggplant. There's an SOS in here Those be careful not to overcook. That's when I got the SOS. Yeah, there's there's a bunch of egg emojis And there's a 100 Emoji keep it. There's a down because there's like get over here come down here Oh, we'll see there you go because I have to get over here and I'm like scorpion what the fuck is exactly Yeah, and then I guess get over here was like, you know down. They're not pointing like up here. They're pointing it Yeah, yeah, it's very confusing like get over here and then it's like it down So that maybe there's like any time I think of that I think of that scene from Bruno

Where the he like he goes to the swingers party and there's the I'm pretty sure she's like part of the show Hey guys, and and she like puts her leg up and she's like get over here and lick my spike My spike. Yeah, that's an interesting. I would have preferred spike over over these runny eggs runny eggs. Yeah If they just made this like a like they're talking about their fucking reproductive organs the way people talk about like Slipknot or go our like my fucking like which spiky shoulder pads are out here and they're dripping. Do you say? You say guar. Yeah, what's guar or is the band that was always on Viva LaBam? Guar. Yeah, I've never heard Google it. How do you spell it? How do you say it? G. W. A. R. Babe guar guar? Oh My god. Yeah, these guys are dangerous looking. They are scary-looking

They're like death metal. They're like demons. They're like that. Yeah, they're like their songs are like Yeah, and it's like about Satan and like having sex with like Sandpaper or something. All right. Well, that's cool. But yeah, I got a cool DM. Yeah, it was kind of dope I like when I got it. I saw a lot of emojis and I was like, oh shit. This is gonna be a like a riddle But then I mean that is a riddle. Yeah, you need some creativity to decipher that not to you know Throw any puns out there, but I think that we cracked this riddle. You're damn fucking right We and it's nice and running on an oily pan But be careful not to overcook. Yeah, I have too many eggs at home now

And I'm gonna look at them differently because all I'm gonna see when I try to eat these eggs is pussy So violently Yeah, so that was that was speaking of pussy speaking of it. Oh Speaking of pussy. Yeah. Yeah, you know, I was did you see the video of that woman in Outback Steakhouse? No, bro There is a video of a woman. I wish we could pull it up on the TV What she's like is it a Karen moment? It's it's a Karen moment, but like Karen on bath salts So what would we call that like Tammy Faye?

Wow, that name sucks. That name is what you would expect a Karen on bath salts to be though. I guess so. Yeah It's a an Outback Steakhouse in Florida This is setting up to be a fucking wild one folks dude. Have you ever been to an Outback Steakhouse? I have I've been once I've been once and I don't remember hating it. No, I thought it was I thought it was you know Blooming onion definitely didn't feel like I was in the Outback. That's for sure Yeah, you know and it was in a strip mall the one over here in Queens, right? Yeah Yeah, that's what I went to no one had an Australian accent. I was very upset. Yeah, come on. Come it except for the person That like when you walked in they had like the commercials come like playing and it's like wait you got it back tonight

Yeah, or like the drunk guy at the bar who's like a thousand years old and like he's just so drunk And he's Irish so he kind of sounds I love how that restaurant is just like the absolute biggest caricature of like what people think Australia is it's like where the Outback and we're gonna give you a shrimp on the babby. I Don't even remember what I got. I think I got a steak. I'm probably yeah I think I got a stay or a burger at the time. I was young when I went. Yeah, but Outback in Florida Okay, think about that. That's like the Walmart of chain restaurants. Yeah, and there is this woman on top of the bar Like dancing. No, I wait. I mean, I don't wish she was dancing She's taking everything in sight and launching it across this fucking Outback nice as far as and she is butt-naked

Dude nothing on tits in the wind. She's just free bagging it free bagging free ball in her fucking Cooter is whistling to the weed field. Yeah And This woman is just taking these fucking bottles and yo like just launching them nice. That's rock and roll Oh, baby. It's super rock and roll. So she was she I don't want this is get a little this is an older woman No, she wasn't like her like early 50s. I mean, that's an older woman. I guess She wasn't I didn't think she was 80 up on the bar. You wouldn't be able to deal bitch get up there She could have made it

That'd be a demon at that point She had a bush. She had a bush. I'm looking at this person. You wouldn't be able to tell I mean the video was also a little grainy She had a bush. I didn't see a bush. Oh, she was I think she was freshly fucking So this is this is a premeditated like I think she planned to go get naked at this Outback state Yeah, that's a premeditated fucking mosh pit. So she was just breaking a bunch of shit everything She's standing on top of like just like yo People taking videos of her and she's saying like call my sister and people like ma'am who the fuck is your sister? Well, yeah, get her on the phone get around the horn somebody someone had to try to get a hold get get her a chopper or something

You know what I mean? Like it's all people awesome and then the the cops show up or like a single cop Did you find out why like what she was like yo my blooming onion? I don't know I didn't read like the whole I just saw the video and then that's all I needed to see Classic internet. She didn't get her blooming onion. She's like I'm getting fucking naked and destroying this place She didn't get her blooming at blooming onion. So she showed her blooming fucking. Yeah, what? It's disgusting. Well, yeah, I mean, yeah, I Want to like of course this happened in Florida obviously where else would it happen if have you ever been at like

What restaurant do you think if they like really hurt you because clearly this woman was hurt by Outback that I would I would that you Would just like you know dick and balls on the fucking bar and you're just launching shit. Uh, I Like probably like a TGI Fridays because I'd be like how dare you Like disrespect me in here like I'm like I came in here for like a margarita or something And I know the food's dog shit, and you're still gonna disrespect me. Yo, hold on TDI Friday's is not the worst of the chain restaurant Like food. It's a chain restaurant. Yeah, but like their appetizers aren't the worst I'm not gonna sit here and debate like I don't have it in me. Yeah, come on They don't have like they have like those like Jack Daniel burgers. Those aren't the worst. I'm not saying they're the worst

I'm saying that like if I go into a TGI Fridays, and I'm sitting in a nice comfy booth There are some restaurants that I wouldn't even dare sit in like a white castle or a fucking Taco Bell if you're sitting in these places You need watch your fucking Taco Bell slander. I won't fucking take it. First of all, I like Taco Bell, but that's a drive-thru food You're not wrong. You eat that in the car. You don't eat it sitting down if you eat inside a Taco Bell By yourself. Oh my god. I'll pass. I'll pass you the gun. Yeah Yeah, that that one you're gonna need to call somebody but yeah, I think Taco Bell would be my pick or like oh if they Fucked it if they fucking me. I'd go in naked and I just run them up Do you remember the talk? I wouldn't even care dude. They probably wouldn't even like wash the

Maybe like yo, this is fucking Wednesday. Yeah, I think that people probably run naked into like these kind of places all the time out back State about a state. Hello out bets The out back steakhouse Yep, this is probably not typical for them because they're more of like a family-friendly like down under I would think in Florida Well, Florida anything. I mean, it's the Wild West down there. It's it's the it's down under and it's the wild west. Yeah You're getting you I think I'm on it. I don't think I think I am there wow west No, that's not what I said. Yeah, it's down and that and the wall west Yeah, see yes, that was bad. That was pretty good. But anyway the blooming onion by the way

Might be a dumb question. Mm-hmm. What is the blooming onion? So it looks like an onion that is blooming like a flower. You're right, but it's just straight onion It's onion, but they batter it. Yeah, and they fry it, right? So it's like it's like onion rings, but you can like pick the piece off, right? I will say I've had one It's very good. I Am I the only one who thing and the reason why I'm asking this is because that's what I thought it was Oh, no, and like am I the only one who thinks that like just eating onions is not well They're like cooked because they're fried. Yeah, but you don't like onion rings

They're okay. I know I don't onion rings are the most unappreciated fucking side dish in America They're not better than like mozzarella sticks fries mozzarella sticks not a side dish. That's an appetizer. They are definitely better than fries I will take onion rings over fries any fucking day, dude. Are you fucking? Sick in the face. No, I am I am correctly where I need to be a dumb mouth on you Don't you know that fuck you my man onion ring is better than a frog if I accidentally brawl Don't even get me fucking started on dude You go close your eyes. Let me ask you a question. You like those chip on your rings, too Like the chips, you know the chips like you get like a bag of chips and it's like oh onion rings funyons. No

They're called onion rings. They're called fun. It's a green bag. You don't call fun Yeah, well, I'm not having fucking fun anymore. Oh, I can't wait to show with you that they're called fun Yeah, there's onion rings. They're called onion rings. Maybe there's multiple types that are called a very famous Onion ring brand. Yeah, this one green bag. No, that that is them Funions everyone in the world knows that fun. It's not that bag. It's a different bag onion ring chips But funions are gross. No, they're not they're not good I know what you're talking about those are the ones you're talking about and what does it say on it onion rings bang bang But everyone whenever they have them they don't say oh, let me go get onion ring chips

They say yo funions whatever not fun. They're onion rings are eons better than fries Okay, eons relax fucking you get you get the fucking you get the spice of the of the onion That's why you get the crunch of the outside It's fucking delicious. You can get that from a waffle fry, bro. A waffle fry a waffle fry I mean a whole potato if I'm having a waffle fry those things are fucking massive. What about a fucking? What's your favorite kind of fry? Um, you got steak. You got you got string. You got fucking A regular shit and then they're Waffle and then what's the fucking big-ass one the wedges

Wedges you're eating half a potato. You told me so was waffle fry. Yeah. Well. Yeah, I don't really I will Oh, then there's like Cajun curly ones. I will curly fries. I will say I will say I will say of the of what you just named I would say I would prefer curly fries However, if it came to like fries or onion rings, I'm taking onion rings any fucking day. You're a sick puppy I don't like fries dude. What I don't like fries that much because I want with fries. That's racist That's not racist against the Irish big. They've had it coming Because you don't like it's either too crunchy or it's too soft or inside it's like mashed potatoes They're too big

They're fucking not good the best of what you named are curly fries dude waffle fries. You're eating a whole fucking potato I don't know much fries. It's too much. Yeah, I don't like those of the fries of all the fries though I'll take sweet potato fries. I do like sweet potato. I like sweet potato fries, too, but I like steak fries They're huge. I mean, I don't relax with the huge. They're fucking massive. I like dipping them into sauces Like barbecue sauce, but yeah, you're a barbecue shush dipper like that I used to go to a wing stop and I would they they had their fries dipped into their blue cheese boobs Let me tell you Yeah, dude, I kind of like I want to eat like a spicy wing right now for some reason

You know, I had lunch before I got here I mean, I really want to get like a spicy wing and eat it and cry and stuff I can tell you the last time I had wing stop my body made it into a puddle Yeah, I mean, so it's not chicken what they have that goes in a solid and comes out a sludge Mmm. Yeah, it comes out a mudslide. Yeah, it does and it's just spits out of you What's the hottest way? Do you remember when we were when we would go to Hooters? I would always order 9-1-1 wings. Is that like their hottest? That's well. No, they have like fucking like remember We said like they have like a Chernobyl Island or whatever. They're hot, but I remember because they're hot

They're regular. I've always liked spicy food. Yeah, but they're 9-1-1 wings hot. They're hot, but they're good Yeah, Buffalo Wild Wings. Oh, have you ever had Buffalo Wild Wings? No, I've never I don't think I've ever been to a Buffalo Wild Wings. I've been to there There's not there's not any around here. The closest one is in Flushing White stone white stone. You know where there's like that Target and Yes, yes, are us. Yeah, there's there's one right there. Okay, and I like it their wings but I Like it their wings like a dare wings. I like it a wings

but I Like recently saw like they like bottled their sauces and sell it Yo, do you know like one serving of their sauce is like 90% of your daily intake on salt? Really? It's fucking wild dude is hot sauce. Yeah, hot sauce is salty as fucking titties It's well, it's it's salt vinegar and fucking like pepper Yeah, it's really all it is You can eat a spicy chip, you know like hot that show hot ones with Sean Evans get us on there Someone tweeted recently. Oh, let me get me call him on the phone. Oh, don't pretend like you YouTube elite don't talk to each other

Let me see that fucking group text with you and David Dobrik and fucking Nikki Marks random group of people No, I I've always thought about like if I was ever on that show if I would be able to complete that And I don't have a lot of faith in me I Do you want to do like I can get a bunch of hot sauces and we can do a hot sauce they actually sell the sauce? They do they do they sell their hot sauce. I would like I would be down to try it But I really think that I'd be scared. Oh, I'd be scared too. I'd be like like shaking dude

There's the one sauce that they use I think consistently that they it's called like the bomb Yeah, and because I've watched that show quite a bit No one tastes it and it's like this is delicious. They taste it like this is just heat to fuck you up Yeah, there's no flavor to it whatsoever I think the chip that you had though that was bad or that was bad. I think that's hotter than like all that shit I'll tell you this the chip when we go to by the way patreon.com slash the basement yard Go support us there. We did the one chip challenge and by we I mean me because Joey had held stuff going on and couldn't do it I had acid reflux by it. I took that chip and

It was hot But the part that fucked me up was what I did to my stomach I was like, okay, like it wasn't too too bad And I know like our buddy Michael O'Priori did recently on his twitch stream or or or with with his show He ate the world's hottest gummy bear and he said the same thing. He's like, yo, the heat wasn't that bad It's the stomach ache you get from the heat really dude remember on the chip thing. It said like what you're gonna feel It's like first minute not too bad second minute to five minutes is gonna be like intense heat in your mouth And then it was like and then it's it said like someone's gonna be punching you in the stomach

And I went my stomach hurts so bad as soon as I had to leave the episode. Do you remember no cuz I went I spit out my asshole It was fucking awful dude It hurt so bad It was Yo, I hate those I hate those poops sometimes you could just feel your butt Actually spit you but and you've never done well you did the enema which is also on patreon patreon.com That one was a spitty poop, but you know that was such a gross term

You never it is but you've never taken a like a medical grade laxative. Have you? No, I didn't know I couldn't believe it. You've done it. I had to I've gotten a couple colonoscopies Oh, I'm probably gonna have to do one soon. You should I mean for your general health everyone Every man out there over the age of like 25 get one at least you know it I couldn't believe like how it worked I'm like low-key excited for that. You're saying that now You're not gonna be excited You can go do you have a stomachache or it's just like I just got I got it No, it was just like bubbles. It was just like bubble like I remember a lot a lot no

Because every every every fucking everything you feel coming you're like, you know, this is worse Like this is gonna be worse than just you know like something safe I love it. It's like you're drinking chalk or whatever the fuck This one was like mine was just like clear liquid. It wasn't like people talk about it It's like a chocolate liquid. No, no, no, no, this one was just like you put water in it And it's just like down the hatch and You're fucked up for about a day Bon Appetit dude. It's rough. That's crazy It take it took I think it took mine like two three hours to work

I know that you have a story about You're like you something happened to you in a bathroom. Oh, yeah, well, you haven't told me yet So I'm gonna do the ads and then you can get into that. Yeah But I just don't want to lose that spot because I'm very interested because like the way that Frankie framed it to me was like something Something happened to me in a bathroom and I think it's time to talk about it. Yeah, what I was like, all right cool All right, so let's get to these ads Speaking of bathroom

Something just slipped out of me Not a pulp with some air some dirty air. It's getting wet in here. It's not getting wet. It's starting to get hot I'll be honest with you. Okay Next next first we have better help better help support in the show as always and better help will Assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist So if you want to do some online counseling talk to a therapist better help is a great way to get started with that You can start communicating just under 48 hours and they make it very seamless to switch from person to person From counselor to counselor you have to find the right one. Obviously

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Go to liquid death comm slash basement right now to get a free set of koozies with your first order of any case of water Or just grab some like any Whole Foods is 7-Eleven like I said the cases They're gonna run out fast get a few cases and they also look cool as shit. They do you look cool drinking water I mean, isn't that the dream? It is always to look cool and badass and To crush your no murder your murder your thirst. I was gonna say durst. Don't murder him murder Fred Durst We need him. We need we need Fred Durst. I like Fred Durst, man. Anyway But now that we've done that Frank Yes

Were you supposed to read them all at the same time or yeah, I don't do whatever All right, Joe, you know me I'm not one to often speak about my exploits in the restroom That's one way to put it I I'm a bit private with my bathroom life because I also not not only do I just I think it's stupid to talk about but like I Just I'm not a big fart joke or poop joke guy. Yeah, I think it's stupid We're on a different side of the fence on that a little bit. Yeah, you're like always like farty dude I walked in you ripped two farts. I swear to God. I thought your couch broke. I

Swear to God. I said I was like, yeah, was that your couch if I'm being honest that first one Scared me because I didn't know that was coming. You've never heard me fart No Exactly exactly. What do your farts sound like are they like like a tight balloon like a Are they like a hole I to be honest with you, I don't even know you don't you don't ever feel like oh my god I got a fart so hard I don't do like those things where like, you know, it's like you're around your significant other and like you say Oh, or no, like the people that are like around the significant other. They don't fart and then they're finally not around them

And then there's like Yeah, yeah, that is not me. I'm just I'm just I just don't like farting. Yeah, I'm not a farter. Yeah So it's taken me a lot to speak about this but something happened to me and I need to know did you fart? No, oh, that'd be dope So, you know me The time arises. I need to find a bathroom anywhere I go. I'm like, all right. Where's the bathroom Frank's got 90 seconds at most I Went in I was on the road for work and I stopped into a restaurant and I did the whole like Bathroom like that. I don't even say like hi. Hello. I'm just bathroom, please and they're like, oh

I go to I go to the back and it's a swinging door Well saloon doors saloon door for the bath a single one Not like you can see over on the top. It's a single like a kitchen like going to the way fucking way. Yeah This the door to the actual stall is a saloon not to the stall to the bath. Oh So anyone could just peek inside. It's it's not no not a saloon door like you could see above and underneath It's it's a swinging door. Oh, so it never shuts It shuts once you let it like once you push through and it's gonna get done. Yeah, yeah So I go and I'm like, all right. I go in

There's no lock on the door hate that there's a stall But there's no stall. There's just a toilet and Then there's two urinals on the other side of the wall Wait, is there a door? No, so there's just a dividing wall. No What the fuck does this look like? Yo, you walk in to this room. You could see the toilet. You could see the toilet, so Let's just say this ink Two stalls on the other side of the wall Stalls like two urinals. I should say two urinals. So wait

So if hypothetically if there were two men peeing and one men Shifting and you walk through those doors. You could see this man's like thighs him taking a full shit And then if someone's peeing they could turn around and just see this guy taking a shit So I'm like, so I walk in and I'm like, wait, is that true? Yes So imagine this room the only thing in this room was a toilet was a toilet and then on the other side of the room two urinals No privacy. No price. Listen, if it was one urinal, I would say all right This was intended to be a bathroom for one person and They just didn't put the lock on the door or they put the wrong door on. Yeah

This was entirely Made to be a multi-person bathroom with no stall and now and no lock Not what was the most hurtful is like I like looked at the walls on the floor There's no like Patched up area where there was clearly a stall. It was just like we just made this as it is You want a bathroom? You got it. So it's a prison bathroom. It's basically I said There's actually more privacy in a prison bathroom. No, they have like a wall. Do they yeah at least I mean, I've never been a prison. Oh, not like in the cell. No, I'm talking about like in like in the cell

You're shitting where you're sleeping. Yeah. Yeah, you know, you can I'm not gonna speak for prison to be honest Yeah, you've never been not with this shirt. Not at all I'm sitting there and I'm like what kind of fucking design and it wasn't like an awful restaurant Like it was like a good looking restaurant like it was like a nice restaurant It wasn't the worst place I'd ever been don't judge a book by its cover apparently not So I'm like, what do I do? Because I need to use the bathroom, but I don't feel protected in here Bathrooms are supposed to be inviting. You might as well be shitting in the middle of the restaurant in the sink. Yeah

So shitting into the cash register at this point, so I move the garbage can in front of the door As a block blocker Garbage cans aren't very strong Joe. Oh my god So I'm trying I'm like yo like I I was like yo, I have to go to the bathroom I'm getting excited. Yeah, well you should all I hear is I'm like, what the fuck is that someone's trying to open the door So then finally they open it and push the garbage can out the way and I'm like, like, what do I do? So I'm like

What do you say when someone's trying to get into the bathroom you can't say I'm in here It's like, yeah, I know it's a public restroom. It's a public restroom. I was like yo You said yo, I was like yo, yo, and they were like, oh, I'm sorry and they let it close But like as the door closed I can You saw it like long back Fuck and I was so fucking upset because This the fucking ingenuity of this bathroom made me look like a stupid fucking idiot Dude, I was a very upset man. I don't know what I would do in that situation

I'd be like I this I can't and then I would not be able to then went like so like then I was thinking about the other guy Like when does he come in? Does he wait until he hears a flush and then he's like, yo my bad and then come in or does he wait until I leave? If I walked into a bathroom where a man's just shitting and I could see him in plain sight I don't care if there's a thousand urinals. I'm leaving. Let's make something very clear. I wasn't like actively shitting I was getting ready Like I was like and I was like going to sit and I hit go go go and I'm like fuck So I'm like I'm like half squat like because when someone like knocks in the bathroom door

You don't like continue you stop what you're doing. Oh, yeah, it's a freeze moment. It's a freeze moment What do you usually when someone knocks on a door and you're in there? What do you say? I'm in here? Like they know who I am What do you say? I'm in here. That's really that's exactly how I say it, too. I Feel like I purposefully like Make a lot of noise when you're in there mumble might like I'll do that too. Let's go and just be like Yeah, yeah, yeah, or if so, but if someone knocks on it, I'll say yo, man

Like I'll just make noises like purposefully Like I'm just like I don't know why not one of those comedians that goes occupado. No, thank God Occupado I do like okay I'm kicking this door if I go to a bar and they have like separate Stalls I'm like this place rocks. Oh separate like these like new age bars now Love it that have like it's like a hallway and each door is its own bathroom. I yes I'm all about that. I'm coming back just for just to take a dump just for the bathroom experience I'm there if I if I know I'm at a place like that that I'm like, oh dude

I'm fucking I'm getting cheat like a cheesy something like I'm gonna eat cheese right now Yeah, and I'm saying because sometimes you cheese no son this summer's like, bro We get it take it a lot of those though You got to be careful they can make you feel a little claustrophobic though because it's like the room is this big Right shit on an airplane, which is like shooting in a fucking envelope, but at least there you can hold the door You know what I mean like in an airplane You can wash your hands as you're on the toilet. I can also lock the door I mean, I can't imagine someone like walking in on you on a fucking

Airplane door like folds up like one of those like yeah, it folds up like a fucking yeah, what are those things and like origami? That's it No, I was thinking but I was really like upset Dude, that's like a not a cool bathroom this place needs. What's the coolest bathroom you remember? The coolest bathroom I remember I Remember there was this karaoke spot on signway still there karaoke shout Shout yeah karaoke shout. It's called they're Sing where we went that one time and that girl was singing face down. Yes. That was a good song

She wasn't face down singing. She was singing a song called face down red jumpsuit apparatus That's where we sang creed and stunt 101. I mean, that's we sing that everywhere. Yeah, by the way, there were people I don't know. This has nothing to do with the podcast But yesterday someone was here my old neighbor's who lived next door and he was talking about I was like, you know Did you speak this cool bar that was under the train and like blah blah blah and he's like I think it's called like last stop And I was like, no, it's called dip more station. He's like, yeah I was like, dude, me and Frankie have been in there like karaokeing so hard. We were like 19. I Have so many fond memories of that place

I don't even want to think about them because I've been super like having like a bit of an existential crisis with time as of late Ah, yes, um But that place we used to we I swear to God if the owners didn't know we were 18 when we were there They're fucking idiots. They were stupid. Yeah, they were very there's nothing like I did not look old I remember one time I went there and I was so drunk, but also so broke Yep, and we were taking shots and I was like talking with the Woman bringing us, you know the bartender or the waitress or what have you and she I go Do you want to take a shot with this? She's like, oh, no, no, no, I can't I'm sorry

I'm like, well, I just take a shot with us, you know, I wasn't being like creepy I was just like, you know, like we were being nice to her. She's like, all right. She took a shot with us Whatever I got the bill and it and it was like She put her shot on there and me being a fucking child Not knowing like the common courtesy is like if you buy a shot for the bartender or or a waitress like you you buy it for them Right, I didn't know that So I'm fucking three sheets to the wind like Listen that one very nice

That one nights it took advantage of me and she was like, oh my god Like I'm so sorry if that didn't tip her off as to like me being fucking Pre-pubescent or the time we went and you're like, you know, we're getting Skittle shots That was another time. I remember those first time ever had that but they did taste like Skittle. I remember I So in college I took a mixology class and at the end of the course we got like our tips certification which was like that certified to be a bartender or whatever and One of the things was like how to spot people that are underage and it's like they order drinks That don't go together and all I could think of since then is remembering one of our friends being out

I'm mad and being like, yo, let me get a gray goose and vodka I remember here that story be like how fucking stupid are you but then do it all the time they were like what I remember one person was like Fucking like oh like let me get a Johnny Walker and and was soda. Yeah, like what what are you doing, dude? Yeah, I used to order old-fashioned when so that people would think that I was 21 That's what I did at that Irish bar on St. Patrick's Day. No Frank goes we have to blend we were like 18 or 17 Yeah, and we got into this bar because they didn't card and then Frank goes we need to blend in And you also also let's talk it was St. Patrick's Day We were in Manhattan for the parade on 2nd Avenue where it was like known that it was wild

Yeah, and Frank is like me to blend in and he ordered to Guinness and they're fucking delicious They're not I love Guinness. I hate him. I went to we went to a club that used to be over here. Remember studio 34 Yes, I went there and ordered Patron and sprite Wow, that's bad. Yeah. Oh, that's nice. Don't mustard from the deli. You did. Yeah, it's exactly that night I remember that night. That's also a night that there was A What's the term dwarf little person little person? Yeah being

I'm not fucked up for saying this. They were being passed around like a trophy, right? One of the funniest thing It's kind of wild Could you believe that do you remember that fucking one time a little person got me real drunk, dude? One time a little person got me real drunk Yeah, I was it was like a soccer game and he was dressed as like Uncle Sam and he was on the bar And he was pouring shots in my mouth. It's like little guy. Yeah He's like an older dude. He was kind of scary looking to he had like a like an Irish tattoo on him

I was like my fucking with this. I know exactly where that was. Yep. Rocky McBrides. Yep And I was there and this guy just got me fucking hammered because you know, do you I think the US was playing like fucking It was the World Cup. I remember that Belgium may be probably lost be got me fucked up, dude I remember that and also there was a girl there who was like, you know if the US beats Whoever we played I forgot I'll show everyone my tits and we're like, oh man We're like, you know, whatever and all of a sudden and then the US lost So then she didn't have to show us her tits, but she did It's a true story

Little person fucked my ass up, dude. What a what a day that is. Yeah, it was a crazy day speaking of political correctness Mm-hmm. Uh, this is something that I saw that I I asked you so this is Let's pull back a curtain a little bit when Joey and I get here a lot of what when we talk about what we're gonna talk about on the show It's like, yo, did you see this and it's like no and it's like I'm not I'm not telling you right. Yeah, I'll tell you on the show Yeah, and this one in particular I asked you if you saw and you said no, right? So I know okay, so just so everyone knows Kid rock not the most progressive guy Surprise rise the south will rise again. Well, he's actually from Detroit. Isn't he? He's like not a country star. He's just like a fucking cigarette smoking

I think he just made the decision to be southern one day I yeah, I think he like what took a trip to like fucking like Birmingham, and it was like I'll make this like Nashville. I'm gonna live here now Nashville is even a little too north for him I would say but I would consider that to be like southern culture like whatever Nashville is a great time I've never been I want to go we need to go bad. Although our friend Nashville Ryan is leaving. He's coming here Yeah, so he's gonna be New York Ryan. That's fine. We can take him back but so he was on stage and people were like recording him and he

called everyone So not very progressive of y'all. Yeah, so he said that and it was actually funny because like when that started trending I clicked on the trend and I was like reading tweets and then Everyone was just going like what? You hit rock? How what do you mean? Well, I guess apparently I mean from everything big truck guy big like I'm just a flag guy. I'm shocked because I don't know kid rock. I know two songs from him Bob with a ball and you know cowboy. Oh, I know three songs Bob with a ball summer of 69

That's Brian Adams. Oh, which one is the all summer long all summer long and cowboy. No, and you know, um Fuck my ass picture. I don't know fuck your ass. I put your picture Okay, I know four songs by kid rock. Yeah But I never would have thought Nobody knows five by the way. Those are the four No one knows five people and if they do red flag. Oh, yeah big time And if you can get six leave but for color what you want I never would have guessed that he was progressive. No, no, no at all

You know, he looks like an old cat and forget about like the Trump connection I just looking at him look at kid rock and say that this looks like someone that like is not a racist kid rock It looks like cousin. It's like Cigarette smoking cousin. Yes, that sits on the porch in a rocking chair. Yeah, just like Talking about I'm not gonna do it, but you know what I'm you know where I'm going He just looks like an old pissed-off cat Doesn't it? It looks like grumpy cat. Yeah, like kid rock just looks like an old pissed-off cat So, you know who he looks like? Oh, man, what fucking show there was like an old cartoon

Where it was like a caveman with really long hair and a fucking club God, I wish I remember the name of it. I don't fucking know but Yeah, to this thing. I'm very curious called equal on stage. He used he used a gay slur. Yeah Fucked up slur. Yep And because people were recording him. He was like fuck your iPhones. You guys are all fucking slurs. So From what I had seen no one had said anything about like, you know, like kid rock didn't mean to use this, you know, good old kid rock But until now and Someone tweeted from his official kid rock account someone or him someone. How do you know it wasn't him?

Because they signed it at the bottom their name. Yeah, this might be kid rocks real name What's the what is kid rocks real name? I mean, it's not kid rock. I'm gonna look at it right now It's probably like Kenneth Rockford or something. Oh my god. He's listed as an American rapper. Yeah, dude. He was a rapper. No, he wasn't yeah Bob what the boss a rap song I think Robert James Ritchie Exactly what I thought his name Robert James Ritchie that sounds like someone that would shoot a president Doesn't it?

Robert James Ritchie killed JFK. Yeah So so someone tweeted from his account, I don't think it was him. Oh, it was it was him Oh, Robert James Ritchie. It was but they signed it Bob Ritchie. Oh, of course. So it is him. Okay, good I went to his Wikipedia his name his birth name Robert James Ritchie also known as Bobby Shazam Perfect. Are you kidding me? You saw Woody Harrelson apparently changed his name to Swoosh Harrelson Swoosh swoosh. It's cool. That's really cool. So the tweet reads and it's very quick easy Forgive me for the word I'm going to use but I'm simply reading it the end of the tweet

Said well, I'll read the whole tweet. It says um if kid rock Wait, he's talking in the third person. Okay. Yeah, if kid rock using the word faggot offends you good chance. You are one He said that Either way, I know he has a lot of love for his gay friends and I'll have a talk with him have a nice day from Bob Ritchie What the fuck? What the hell This guy he didn't just double down he fucking tripled down on it Bob rock trick trick trick rock. What am I supposed to do? Trick rock said that dude. He said he didn't even say like I'm sorry. I used that word. It was wrong

He said like yo if that offends you It probably is for you and then and then what was it? I'll talk to him. Why is he talking like this? There's not either way. I know he has a lot of love either way like oh just forget about it Like either way, I know he loves his gay friends and I'll talk with him. Have a nice day I'll have a talk with him. That is so fucking Stupid and funny and tone deaf at the exact same time dude. What does this guy even do day-to-day? Yee-ha. Do you know what's crazy is that this took days this took days to figure out like what to say Is PR team was like what's good? Yeah, send it out

If I was his PR person, I would fucking me well someone just quit that's for sure someone's getting fired Yeah, that's for sure. Yo, that's that's like Do you know that like listen? I I? Truly truly believe that the term faggot is like an ugly fucking word like it is like look But to say it in like directing it at people and then being like If you're upset by it Yo, that's insane that he said And then talking in the third person and then signing it Bob Richie

That is one of those tweets that's gonna live on in forever You know like frames for you for your birthday. That would be fucking funny. It's Miles birthday next week It is maybe I'll show up. Can you imagine Miles happy birthday? He's like what's this? It's for Bob Richie. Oh my god. I couldn't believe that when I saw it. Yeah, that's kind of insane that guy's fucking out of his mind I know he has like a bar on like In Nashville on like that main strip on Broadway effect. I forgot what it's called. It's probably I think it's called like honky-tonk I'm serious. I really think it's all good like something about honky-tonk What does that even mean honky isn't honky like a white dude like I think honky-tonk is just like a like it's like a term of endearment

That's honky-tonk. Oh, I thought it was like a genre of music like play the honky-tonk stuff I don't know. I really don't know what it is. I don't know either. There's the song honky-tonk woman by the Rolling Stones There's the honky-tonk man. Yeah, honky-tonk man. WWE Hall of Famer. Yeah, of course He's not dead. Well, you know, he's gotta be up there. He's gotta be elsewhere. He's probably on a plane somewhere Yeah, he's not here. He's somewhere else. Yeah, so yeah, what is the term honky-tonk? Should I look it up? I think you should. I think it's a genre of music to be honest What did you Google? I forgot that I zoomed in on it. Honky-tonk

Honky-tonk, yeah, it's a it's a it's a musical style. A honky-tonk is is both a bar a Honky-tonk is both a bar that provides country music for the entertainment of its patrons and the style of music played in such establishments Oh, so a honky-tonk is a is a place and a thing is a bar, I guess I don't know there is a bar called honky-tonk where In Nashville. Oh, so maybe it is him We actually when I mean if you want to tell me name a bar in Nashville and I said honky-tonk I I mean, that's almost a guaranteed even not having been there. I would have got the other one called it was called like Fucking bluegrass like slippers or something. I don't know. It was like it was like a famous place

It was like the first place you went to I used to remember the name of it But now I don't know but I remember we were in honky-tonk and there's a car on the wall. Oh, well, yeah, of course Yeah, and then I remember like cuz when you're in Nashville You can Venmo the band and request a song and I remember while we were there Danny was with us And he requested that the band play landslide, I think Right, which would have just brought the mood way down way down which is probably why he did it and they didn't And then the next day He like commented on the Venmo and was like can I have my money back cuz you didn't play landslide and they were like no

That's fucked up. They just took the landslide money. Well, how much did you give them? I think it was like five bucks That's nothing. Yeah, well, I mean it was still five bucks. I was gonna say knowing Danny. He Venmoed them like 600 bucks He was like play fucking landslide now. Did you fart? Yo, it smells like a dumpster You don't smell that no I Didn't fart I might be having a part of it way back there Maybe like fucking walked its way around the room and finally got to me It could be the honky-tonk man. It could be the honky-tonk in here talking about before But yeah, I mean fucking kid rock man rock and roll, you know more rock and roll

Well, he's an American rapper. Let me ask you. Let me ask you this Yeah, the woman that was like kicking all over the place or whatever and whatever she looked like kid rock Better question you think she listens to kid rock definitely listens to kid rock She she has the lyrics of ball with to bomb Yo, kid rock got me in trouble when I was a kid once because my neighbor had his CD, okay? And his CD was just this Seriously, it was just a picture of a middle. You know, I hate to admit it I think I had his CD too

it was just a picture of a middle finger on the CD and It was in my house and my mom found it and she was like what the ever-loving fuck is this and I got in trouble I'm gonna look up his first album because I'm pretty sure I had this It's probably isn't it called like running with the devil or something like rolling with a question Yep, kid rock devil. It is the middle finger I said rolling with a question just devil without a cause Man, that's good rolling with a question. That's a good song, man That's not good, that's exactly oh, yeah, when he that's when he was like actually like a rapper like when he was younger

He had like his hair Damn damn what is he was called like kid kid electric kid rock. Oh, I thought it was like shock kid rock. Oh Man, let's listen to some kid rock. No, no, no, no, no Maybe on next week's patreon episode where we do the power hour or by the time this comes out It'll be this week's patreon episode, right? Yes, it'll be out for the patrons so the patients will see but patreon.com slash basement here Go check it out. Yeah, we're doing a we're doing a power hour

Which means that we're gonna take a shot of beer every minute for an hour on the show and You get pretty drunk. So I think it'll be off the rails sooner than later. We get very drunk. Yeah, so very drunk It's gonna be an interesting episode for sure It also the last patreon episode we put out was probably one of my favorite. Oh my god episodes. We've ever done that is Yeah, absolutely. It was we did like the most grindable song. Yep. So like shocker Sean Paul's on there Come on. Obviously more than once he's on there at least. Yeah, so, you know That's what happens when people like they just grind on you and turn your dick into fucking mashed potatoes

I'm hot and I have a short sleeve shirt on. How are you not dead right now? I don't know. I'm controlling my body temp at the moment. Oh, are you Buddha Joe now? No, I'm not gonna say it's only a matter of time But we could wrap this up Frank Where can they find you the Frank Alvarez on twitch and Instagram and then check me out on Twitter F Halvors 808 5 I am I got my second match in the Shmo down June 23rd. Oh June 23rd, I'm playing a girl whose nickname is the sleeper Time to wake up because you're going back to sleep Go check it out movie trivia Shmo down watch me compete in some movie trivia. Goodness baby June 23rd

It's going down. Yeah, and you guys can follow me at Joe San Agato Go follow the show at the basement yard on tiktok and Instagram and like we were saying earlier the patreon you get every episode a week ahead and you get an extra episode that no one else Gets except the patrons every single Friday and you get access to all the extra episodes that we've done Over the fucking years. So that is yeah patreon.com slash the basement yard and that is all see you guys next time Next time do it next time next time next time we think you can do it fix your up something to do next time