The Basement Yard - #301 - Batman Won't Go Down On You

Episode Date: July 5, 2021

Frank & Joe discuss some new information about Batman.. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

yeah okay you don't like my country yeah that's my country oh I wonder if that was on on the tape it probably tape what am I saying welcome back to the basement you are in 2006 apparently we're recording on cassette tape yeah I guess so do you know I have to be very careful when I say cassette tapes now because one time by accident I said cassette tape and now it's like fucked with me forever and I go cassette tape oh I was gonna say is cassette tape like a fucking like you're like harbinging like the bringer of death through some like secret book what the fuck did any of that means you've never watched enough

comic you're not a horror movie guy are you well I'll go we'll get scared but like if I were to make like a reference like to the necronomicon you wouldn't know what I'm talking about what the hell exactly that's why necros is when you fuck dead people what that's necrophilia yeah yeah well it's not fucking dead people it's like loving feelie no no no feelia is like loving in the feeling feeling them neck well you know what sure yeah no necrophilia is not loving the dead it's it's literally like kissing them well I think it's code it's been come to like be understood it's like

kissing a dead person bro that's whack bro kissing the dead trash dude that's gotta be so I did the finger thing with you right yeah imagine that was boobies though dead but you think dead boobs are cool no why not because everything when you're dead sucks well I can't I've never touched dead boobies but I would as I've touched a dead like an arm yeah arm and that sucked yeah my grandma's arm was so wack dude I vividly remember welcome back at base here I vividly remember touching my dead relative and being like you know there's like I wanted to like karate chop it because it was like no give and no feedback it felt like

dough that needed to be needed it needed to be needed it felt like a stale pretzel rod like there was just nothing to it yeah so I would imagine that like the good the fun with boobies is like they're warm so they're like they'll give a little back to you you know yeah they'll like you know they're like a waterbed you touch them and they go what playing like they'll come back at you yeah there's no dead boobies got to be trash I mean yeah they probably just balloon is necrophilia crime dude we can't just go around fucking the dead they've already been fucked enough grave robin and graven railing grave

humping grave humping but how do you get access to the dead you work at a cemetery how everyone else gets access to yeah but like does that mean that only those people are necrophilia acts is that a word there's got necrophilia yeah I mean or like I know someone who who works at a morgue and she like okay but I'm saying like I assume there's someone who's into necrophilia and that has like you know a block has done that and you have to assume that what they're like going around and like hop in the fence of a cemetery and like digging someone up maybe I mean I think I think see that's what's tough though is about

the cemeteries though like you don't want them in a cemetery because they're either completely decompose at that point in time or they've been there for a little bit like you got to get like real lucky like stumble upon a stumble upon like you need to stumble upon a freshly buried body I'm thinking like it's the people that work in the morgue well you could check the dates yeah all August that's not yeah but I don't think anything right now is is like how are we talking about this we're gonna go for it this is again demonetized again it's alright oh it's been demonetized it's okay the but I believe it'd be like the

people that work in the lab where they're like all right we need to prep this body for the funeral oh like the embalming the embalming like they like poor like they like hold their legs open and like poor like what's it called cyanide that's not it no that they'll just burn I think you know I don't think cyanide burns you I thought it that's like acid oh it's like poison is what's what's the bombing fluid called again why the fuck do I know because you're a human that has a brain you should know know this stuff I should know the embalming tech like system yeah because people would dip cigarettes in it and

smoke them what you never heard about that people would dip already trash cigarettes into embalming fluid and then smoke it yeah they from aldehyde from aldehyde yeah sprinting to lung cancer they apparently it would fuck them up but yeah I mean I guess everyone has their vices whether you're fucking a dead person or you're smoking what's getting put in them yeah Jesus dude hot start to this episode very hot sorry for everyone that out like and that's the other thing yeah who like so like who's the crime is against the the fucker but like yeah is it like on behalf of the family it's like so

against oh yeah I think that you know that's a so like I die yes I get fucked by the undertaker not the not the wrestler the actual I was gonna say that's pretty cool profession yeah that I would do yeah but like will it be like oh the you know Becca files on behalf of me like yeah yeah yeah like you know it's the family don't do a lot of trouble when you're fucking the dead you're fucking the estate yeah that's right that's what that's the rules that's right that's right you think when Bezos dies someone's gonna just finger pop them just to say they did it that's a great question but I feel like if you're like

really famous then you probably get one of those like crazy like kind of graves that are like locked with chains and then like 40 years later a kid like dares his friend to go in there or something and that's how horror movies start yeah full circle necronomicon yeah yeah you still don't know what that is do you no it sounds like a big dead like robot thing oh no I mean it's a villain clearly it's a book was it necronomicon necronomicon necronomicon necro is like the dead yeah and then necronomicon is like is is comic-con yeah yeah so it's like an event yeah where you go to die so like comic-con well no you're dead

when you get there yeah no everyone's dead on the inside there anyway just keep it a little lighter you know we're gonna skip over this whole dead person shit but we will tell you about the patreon patreon.com slash the basement yard get access to every single weekly episode a week in advance get in on the jokes like for instance that roast of Joe Sanagato for 300 episode yeah you would have gotten that a week in advance didn't you wish go check it out and you get exclusive content on Fridays that people do not get access to so patreon.com slash the basement yard we did the power our episode we just hit 9000 I think

Joey's gonna like let me piss on his foot soon no I'm going to piss my pants your pants that's right yeah you're gonna paint your pants I'm gonna pinch my pants so go check it out okay but yeah recently I have been getting visited by this bird I almost got excited I almost got excited but then I remembered you live in New York City where every bird is a flying fucking Petrie dish of just every disease known to man I mean it's I'm not getting visited by you know an owl like a cool owl that would be cool there's not wild owls are there or like a phoenix there like that's fake is it Phoenix aren't real I don't know but

like aren't there there are hawks that live in Manhattan hawks there are hawks that live in Manhattan Joey what do they eat other birds oh wow it's kind of whoa that's kind of kind of cool kind of cannibalistic a little bit I mean you know in saying you know animal kingdom I guess you know just because they're all birds doesn't mean they're all the same I guess but no it's it's it's a white bird well of course of course you know because the white the power yeah the power structure yeah yeah um Joey would never let a bird of color visit him bird of color I was sitting on my couch and this white bird flew and it flew

against that window and like was sitting on something I mean there's the like door hinge yeah but it was this window oh this window right here this is door hinge on the outside of this door in there not this one I'm seeing the one from it oh no so he's like was sitting on the edge and he was just like there and I was like what the fuck is that a bird and then I like walked over and he was just kind of like just like getting getting like birds just like everything's mad yeah nothing else of theirs moves it's just like they're fucking head it's just and I'd love to see what it looks like under the feather because it's got

to be just like a fucking pipe cleaner neck yeah yeah but like I and they're so stiff with their movements like you never see a bird that's just like they're always just like oh yeah chill out bird you gotta be on their game man they don't know what's gonna kill them today whether it be another bird or a cat yeah or yeah but so then it flew away whatever but kind of chilled we kind of like got to know each other through our eyes or whatever and then it and then it came back again like a couple hours later and was sitting on the ledge of same bird same bird did you eat it no I didn't get a chance to get out there I

mean put something out there for it now that you know it's coming get some bird feed that's true bird house or something give me some shelf Joey bird house Joey bird house weed Joe birdhouse Joe it's all coming together now play tennis yesterday tennis Joe I played tennis yesterday with Espo and I like posted it like on the story you would not believe what you've started I can't do anything now good I post a picture of food people like oh food Joe I'm like oh he's back yeah tennis Joe I mean don't get me started on it but I'm not playing tennis is it like did it come back today no not today but it came back

like a few times and I'm like damn this bird like kind of and then one time it came back and it tried to land on the railing but missed and then it kind of gave up I'm out of here like flew away but I think it's a bird that kind of lives around here but it kind of makes me feel weird like what kind of is it like a pigeon that's just white like an albino pigeon it looked like kind of like a doggish it wasn't like that Joey if you're gonna have me believe that doves fly onto your fucking balcony it's wasn't I don't think it was a dove it just looked like a dove so it could have been like a white pigeon like I can't tell

the difference between a dove and a pigeon yeah me neither they're just a color and they're like brown doves too they're all good very confusing yeah but I where I live now I get a lot of birds too so welcome to the bird club oh nice like we got woodpeckers that live in our trees damn I wake up I hear them sons of bitches they're going to town they're fucking up the trees holy shit why do they do that they fuck like bugs that live in the tree that's right and they like fucking the yo if you need a bash your skull against a tree in order to eat figure it out don't live also like birds and stuff like I like birds they're

cool and they're like whatever but like you know we live around here bro I'm worried about diseases yeah I'm worried about like you know what's worse to you pigeons or seagulls I think seagulls I hate pigeons I think that pigeons are dirtier but seagulls are more annoying they're fucking like ah dude seagulls are fucking a dude seagulls are like every single fucking frat star I ever met at a party they just like they have no sense of boundaries they'll land right next to you when you're eating those we like oh yeah I'm eating a sandwich I'm like oh they travel they travel in packs these things are fucking ruthless they

are I've said time and time again though I hate birds I'm worried about like the bird flu but I don't even know how you get but how do people get bird flu you don't have something like was it oh you got a like I want handle a bird I once got bird shit on my mouth so I could see how that happens how'd you get bird shit you're you were I was doing I was all right it was when we lived in Astoria bird shit in your mouth it didn't shit in my mouth I said I got it on my mouth it shit on your hand you will know it was on my chain link fence and I like put my like face on the chain link fence at the like the top and I actively got bird

shit right here and I remember like yo this like this is how people get bird flu I remembered it wow so you think people are getting bird flu because they're getting shit in their mouth I would assume so these birds are shit in everywhere babe but I thought you like what if a can bird sneeze like what if it sneezes on you I don't know but apparently there's a thing called bird saliva that you can drink would rather get fucked after I'm dead well oh you know what I would too because you'd get killed probably from the bird saliva yes um that's disgusting birds don't spit dude they have well I think it's when like

you know like they like feed their young oh no we couldn't be just like I got this got it sorry there's gotta be a more there's gotta be a more efficient way to feed your babies other than like throwing up in their mouths who there was the actress that was doing that to her kids you didn't hear about this what you didn't hear about I think it was Alicia Silverstone the original bat girl she was chewing her food for her kids and spitting it into their mouths she thought that was cool I think she was like one of those like fucking like I had my baby in a bathtub I'm only gonna give them good food and I'm gonna spit

in their mouths I don't know if those things are like grouped together that last one kind of seems like it's off the beaten path here of chewing your foot like I understand like babies they can't eat hard foods so you mash it up but you mash it up very easy to mash mashi top mashi top mashi top pull like avocado mash that shit and then give it to your baby you don't chew it and spit in their mouths you asshole yeah apparently she's she's chewing the food I'm sorry is there a video yeah I'm trying to pull it up I don't know if I get really handle this like this early in the morning why not because it's early

and I just had bananas who cares what's her name share from clueless is just fucking spitting the oh yeah there we go no no no it is her right it's fucking yeah it's clueless girl here you go yo she's fucking yo she's dead ass malving this child and that kid is old too I just got oh oh my god I just got my spit got thick she's full on just like chewing the food up like okay and then she tweeted this I just had a delicious breakfast of me so soup not a breakfast I do love me so soup definitely not a breakfast not a breakfast soup breakfast not a thing I just had a delicious breakfast of me so

soup collards and radish first of all this breakfast fucking sucks careful I like collards I like radish this is not a breakfast thing that is not a traditional breakfast here in our culture I will agree to that named her kid bear kind of cool I said careful your nephew's name is steel right careful with the fucking criticism of names Joey I fed bear the girl I what is she doing soup does she like wish it in her mouth like listerine and then spit it and then spit it and a tiny bit of veggies from the soup from my mouth to his hmm she even dot dot dot made some suspense it was like I spit it into

him yeah we got that and there's a like it's his favorite and mine he literally crawls across the room to attack my mouth if I'm eating bro you set up a bad you fuck this kid up for life yo I'm letting you know something what happened what happens when he's 16 and you're eating pizza and he's like yo mom bro is that pepperoni bro I am a reformed reformed bully because I didn't bully people yeah but I would fucking cut their ass yeah alright and I still do to an extent I always say like if I like you I'm gonna make fun of you because like that's the way that I show that I enjoy people's I put the time in and make in

front of them if I were to believe in reincarnation I would want to come back as someone that was in school with this little kid okay because I am you are setting your kid up to get bullied so hard yeah I don't care what you do these weird Hollywood people are like yeah like what's it's wrong to bully no bully that kid girl don't bully him please I don't want to be responsible for that well too late yeah I guess and we also the necrophiliacs are out there yeah we're just gonna fuck dead people we have our kids mouth we actually have a really big necrophiliac viewer viewership no we don't I don't wouldn't

even know how you attract that how I mean it's fun to say how would you know they're just admitting to crimes it'd be fun to imagine anonymously you say yeah I fucked I you know I touched a dead that's like I I don't want to go back to the dead I well we're here now well you know we're kind of we're six feet deep we're you can't you can't avoid it now our coffins actually six feet deep heard that was a lot I also why I have no reason to believe they're not why are they six feet deep because if it rains too much that will just it'll just slide out I don't I honestly don't know the science behind you know any of this

stuff I just know that they say like six feet deep six feet under that show that was on Showtime or HBO yeah and it's weird I don't want to be there I would want to do either just get cremated or I was just launching a space that probably would definitely cause line but you're white you're on your way yeah or I would want to get like those like tree pods what they like curl you up into a ball and they put you in like the coffin is like a tree seed it's like a tree pod and like what do you say what are you talking about when you die they fold you up they like fold you up into like a ball like the fetal position like your

action okay like you're back in the womb yeah and they put you in this pod that's made of like some organic material and they plant you in the ground and as you decompose a tree sprouts from you are you fucking kidding I swear I would do that that would be cool that's kind of dope like yo there's dad and then you go to the tree and be like look at this beautiful tree literally the tree made for my blood and bones yeah that'd be pretty cool I've never heard of that would you want to do that well now I mean they plant a lot of trees here you'll be a green street in the middle of Manhattan we know covered in dog piss

yeah just fucking you smelled like a homeless man just taking a dump yeah he's gonna take a shit right on my legs oh my tree legs your tree legs yeah that's what I think I'd like to do that but I can't believe you didn't know about Alicia Silverstone chair from Clueless no man I I did not know that she was spitting her kids mouths I think that's a little heavy for me to be honest but I mean when you have kids things change up so you never know no listen I totally get kissing babies you know I'm saying yeah I kiss my daughter on the mouth just cuz it's adorable yeah she's I mean it's hard you know and well no I can say

that you can't well no I don't I didn't kiss your fucking daughter on the mouth but wait a sec you wouldn't kiss my daughter on the mouth if you need me to I will do that but I don't need to good recovery boom no well you wanna kiss my daughter on that now I don't know what I was saying kiss the man you daughter yeah this is this is blurry kissing babies on the mouth yeah Alicia Silverstone yeah I'm just saying who's worse who's gonna have it worse her kids or Tom Brady's kids Tom Tom Brady's kids did you see those kisses dude well like yeah he was he was like it was like holding it yeah

it was a long kiss that's a big kiss long intimate kiss that's all that's and they were like 12 yeah they were too old bro if I kiss my kid on the mouth when I'm 12 fucking send me to prison yeah if your kids like have homework and stuff don't kiss them you didn't from what I remember you didn't come from a very unless I'm wrong which not possible this is gonna be awesome you didn't you didn't come from a very affectionate family did you like I'm trying to think you're no no no my dad used to kiss me on the mouth I remember my dad used to kiss me on the mouth he's called um pal I'm serious I'm serious he would go he

would go um pal I think I've said this before you never heard about um pal bro I'm telling you um pal he's the um pal my ass all the time well not my dad would kiss me bro and he'd go like this like this is me you go bro there are fucking stars I'm seeing stars right now are you kidding me yeah he would he would um pal that was what that's what that's what I'm legit seeing stars what's wrong with you you're gonna faint bro I've never seen stars like this like I legit see like fucking I need to take a sip of my non-sponsored pink drink yeah you never even powered your dad I'm sure I have but not as far as I

can remember I I I have probably kissed my dad more than my mom now that I'm really you just don't come from an affectionate family I remember that why do you what are you talking about like Keith hates hugs I don't think I've ever like I'm sure I've given your sister a hug I don't think I've ever been not shan's very affectionate but shit that is true she and also I'm a sensitive when you drink you're very like Keith you only touch Keith if he's drunk oh man yeah sounds wrong but it is true it is true when he's drunk or asleep bro the hardest if arm I've ever received in my life was from Keith like jokingly trying

to hug me yeah he empowered my fucking face with his palm yeah I one time I gave him a gift for Christmas that was like really nice or whatever and then he gave me a hug and I immediately dug my hand between his ass cheeks of course you have probably ruined it for life because now he won't let me get near those I mean I don't blame him no I don't blame me either but you got to do what you got to do I saw an opportunity and I took it went in Rome went in Rome when deep between those two go on a gondola right I don't think there's gondolas but like my my mom my mom was not very affectionate now I think she's

more affectionate but my dad dude my dad like still tries to hold my hand it's fucking really weird I haven't been in a car my dad in quite some time but like he tried heels your hand while he's right he would try to hold my hand that's cute and like he was very like baby talk I'm a little fanky you know I'm his froggy yeah I'm froggy wow Nick is picky Chris is fishy and Jessica shush why do you say that like I'm sure that's what it is why do you say fishy like I'm supposed to know what that means I'm a Chrissy fishy that's an easy one who you're froggy froggy and my dad makes a very I think my dad my dad's not a genius but

in this I think he was pretty smart he tried to rewrite history all through my life he'd spell froggy but because dropped out of high school spelled with 1g so now he tries to own it like he did it on purpose of course so I'll call him he'll be like hello foggy 1g he calls you froggy 1g yeah and I'm like that's still wrong yeah and it's you're just hiding the fact that you were literate that was like Demi Lovato and she said that her someone asked her what her favorite dish was and she said a mug what so she was like in the foreign land I know she was just pure is this like prime poop Lovato phase poop poop poop you

don't know poop Lovato no tell your story I'm pulling her up okay no but like Demi Lovato was it like in London or something I don't know and someone was interviewing her and they were like oh what's your favorite dish obviously talking about like food like what your favorite dishes and she's like hmm you know I I like mugs because they hold warm things and then you can like hold it and it's like really warm so I like mugs and the universe didn't know what the fuck say out of that and then after that she like oh like overly owned it yeah it's like obviously I was joking like whatever she came out like merch and she

like was tweeting a hashtag about mugs that's capitalism yo bro yeah it's capitalism her PR was like we need to spin this because you're a fucking idiot you're dumb idiot this is so someone took this picture of Demi Lovato I can't believe you've never heard of poop Lovato and it became like a character on I've definitely seen this yep my poot I don't know that's what someone called her though oh excuse me fuck oh we made a mistake she now goes by gender neutral they go by gender neutral pronouns now I I didn't even know that yeah they came out and said that they are I believe non-binary this is my first like actual

time ever using those pronouns I trying to think if I have before I've never done it this is my first time I when I worked at Target I had a team member tell me that they were beginning the phases of transitioning and they had transitioned from a female to a male so it was like a big thing that like and not saying incorrectly understandably it was a big thing that like HR memos were sent out like you need to address them by the a prop the you know proper pronouns and it was like I was like fucking taken back like they told me first set of everyone like anyone that they told they were like I'm just letting you know like you

know I'm really uncomfortable in my skin I'm transitioning I'm starting to take and I'm like oh wow like I was like oh shit but yeah Demi Demi Lovato is now they slash them I believe I'm gonna triple check that just so I'm not being ignorant you're saying triple triple just doubled already I doubled with my brain that is not a thing you haven't checked at all is probably what you're saying you know but you know oh fuck that was quick no they they were in the news recently yeah I believe it's they slash them but it's not on her Twitter account but someone called her damn it

fuck see I'm sorry like I'm legitimately it's it's a tough it's my first time it's never I've never actually used it's an adjustment and I apologize I don't know what if they change their names that I saw recently of Demi Lovato was a video where someone on Twitter called they were talking about like fro yo or something mm-hmm and they didn't have the right one and I don't know it was like a weird I don't even know what the fuck was going on way to go Joey those are the only time that I've ever really seen what a contribution of Lovato recently someone on Twitter called Demi Lovato

Vemi Lovato okay that was very good I mean you gotta applaud them all right let's get to some ads I'm sure that like the beginning of this conversation where we're talking about having sex with the dead anyway this week we've got some interest do we have an ad about having sex with the dead speaking of never if you're gonna have sex with the dead man escaped no if if you know you are thinking about that sort of thing there is something that you should probably you know end up using which is better help better help will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist if you

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talking about Lisa Silverstone who played Batgirl did you hear about Batman what's going on with Batman the movie no Robert Pattinson the character apparently Batman don't eat pussy what's up yeah yeah so there's this um DC animated show it's Harley Quinn show and it's adult adult themes you know they talk about boobies poop ooze you know other stuff and they wanted to put the creators of the show wanted to put in a scene where Batman was performing cunnilingus and apparently like the execs at DC were like nope Batman doesn't do that heroes don't eat pussy heroes don't eat pussy that's what they well

they didn't say eat pussy but they said heroes don't do that can you imagine if some fucking 68 year old white guy was just like no Batman doesn't eat pussy I need to look this up you didn't see if you didn't hear about this no where would I have heard about this um anywhere else you get your news I never thought I would do this but I just typed in Batman doesn't eat pussy into Google hmm and there's an article that literally is how Batman doesn't eat pussy there you go DC says I try to tell you here's a quote a perfect example of that is in this third season of Harley when we had a moment where Batman was going down on

Catwoman but let me just stop talk about it why does Batman need to go on no don't know why does Batman need to go down on Catwoman also I've never seen Catwoman without her cat shit on I mean you know I'm sure she's got a flap for it she's got a she's got a she's got to let those kitty cats breathe yeah she's got a kitty cat flap and DC was like you can't do and DC was like you can't do that you absolutely cannot do that they're like heroes don't do that so we said are you saying heroes are just selfish lovers and they were like no it's that we sell consumer toys for heroes it's hard to sell a toy if Batman is

also going down on someone hold on so you could sell a toy of Batman blowing the face off of a fucking clown you know villain but a little a little little bing-bang a little a little a little a little a little a little a little pah-pah-lal that doesn't make any fucking sense yo oh my god dude so yeah I mean it's like some like old-school Sopranos mentality remember when Uncle John was like listen up don't eat the fucking bullshitting the box he's like listen if they find out I eat the pussy they're gonna whack me yeah what the fuck I'm blessed of a man yeah that's exactly I think that's exactly what he did

shoulders and all yeah but it's like at first of all Batman very selfless man yeah if anyone's gonna do it it's gonna be Batman he also got the perfect mask for it I mean his mouth is out I mean for those just tuning in Batman apparently doesn't eat pussy doesn't do it and you know I don't know how I feel about that I don't agree with it I think he wouldn't be the one to eat pussy Superman seems like a really pussy and kind of guy Superman seems like he gets pegged actually if we're being honest well yeah but you know all that power you know what they say sex isn't about everything in this world about sex

except for sex sex is about power yeah only time you know Superman probably as a kink likes being made into like some little like just like a kryptonite lace dildo yeah get fucking pegged yeah it hurts a little bit you know and then he fucking like laser eyes the wall accidentally yeah but Batman is the most selfless look I'm a big Batman fan he's not that selfless he's selfless he's a billionaire don't we hate billionaires eat the rich yes but it's not about yeah eat the rich fucking drink their blood yeah it's like look at what he does for the town like he'll lay his life down for that for that city for

anyone he needs a gun he needs it no no no no that's his big thing Batman doesn't kill Batman's got a kill also out of all the wait he's eating Harley Quinn's post no I seen Catwoman oh Catwoman's put okay that's the other thing I wouldn't have eaten Carly Quinn's post her makeup's all fucked up you know she doesn't look like she's really showering maybe I don't know I mean you know the Joker they live in like a fucking like acid plant like who knows what they do yeah that's a radioactive snatch you probably made her sit on like a urinal cake and just like call it a day yeah that's like that's sex for them of all the characters

to say doesn't do that you pick the one that has the best-looking villains Harley Quinn poison ivy Catwoman well poison ivy that's gonna be a dangerous pussy you know you got a little itchy around the mouth but you got to do what you got to do get a lot of itchy around the mouth and I mean some people are immune to poison ivy but is that even is that I'm immune to poison ivy immune I've rolled around in it never gotten it why'd you roll around in it on purpose but like playing manhunt at the lake oh I see like you don't hear about like spider like what spider-man's got a gobble on the goblin no that's not how

that works yeah there's no one cool in that show I mean he's black he has black cat who black cat black cat is a spider-man villain oh I don't know anti hero I don't know spider Gwen I don't know but Batman would do it yeah I don't know what other characters like superheroes you think just like would or wouldn't be about it I don't know throw some throw some names out to me right now Green Lantern I don't think he's had sex the flash oh I don't know he's got enough time I like he's got he's got he gets in it's like the sex is over yeah like he's not pleasing a woman he's not he's not he's there for him

all about himself yeah Wonder Woman now now we're talking about a pussy that you want to find out what's going on oh you're saying that just for the record what I mean you don't grow up on an island full of women and not you know and not visit breakfast at Tiffany's if you know what I mean oh my god probably yeah captain me are you saying that Wonder Woman may have been a little bit of memory I mean listen you know sexuality is a spectrum and I have to think that growing up as it as a young woman on an island full of just Amazon women yeah you got to experiment a little bit yeah I think you know you grow up you like

bagels then every now and then you find a croissant you know yeah I don't know if that applies it certainly does Captain America Captain America definitely does fucking first country yes country oh nailed it very good nailed it uh nailed it you did four yeah four so you know all up in that electricity pussy isn't it thunder thunder thunder he's the God of Thunder he's got a thunder push which is a sound by the way I just want to make sure we all remember that yes it'd be God of lightning yeah you'd want to be the lightning god like Raiden but Raiden Zane no no way that big hat gets in the way wouldn't even make it yeah you couldn't

yes try to think any other superheroes I could think of yeah I don't know Tony Stark probably no I think he's like or G'd you know he's definitely or G'd but he's like hired a robot to do it yeah my god this is the tongue bot mark for yeah yeah oh yeah yeah you know and it's just like a bot with a tongue that just comes in and just which sounds that definitely exists not but yeah I mean I would have to it if you had a tongue machine would you use it now we look it up if you had a tongue machine I have a machine for a tongue I'll tell you that what is it what's up it I don't know what that means exactly but you have a tongue your tongue

sex machine it's gotta exist I've seen video oh god whoa I've seen video had I've seen videos of guys who put a flashlight attached to a drill bit you know and then they put the like that's fucking dangerous no not like Indian rope burn on your cock no no no yeah and then they put the flashlight on and then they just drill so things spins whoa and then they spin and you know this here is a clitoral sucking licking vibrator hold on let me see that it's on my Amazon now so I'm definitely gonna get a question from pecker clitoral sucking licking vibrator G spot tongue vibrator with eight suction modes and

ten tail vibration modes and five licking modes sex toy for women oral stimulator nipple clit anal rechargeable and waterproof you think Batman has that on this gadget built probably not you also this is $46 and it'll deliver on Saturday weekend deliveries for this thing nipple clit anal they just threw those just put three words in there to catch the eye I love that it's waterproof well it makes sense you never know what kind of fucking fluids are flowing yeah you could be in the river and oh you could put this on your nipples well I would assume it's just a liquor liquor yeah there's a legitimate like cartoon

vagina on Amazon is that allowed I mean Jeffrey Bezos owns the world at this point okay no there's a there there is a literal masturbating woman no there's not yes there is dude these pictures are insane you wait there's just masturbating people on Amazon dude what look at this picture that's a woman masturbating bro what that's insane scroll back this is on Amazon scroll back this is on Amazon and it's a it's a it's getting the right hole oh they showed the breast the milk you know yeah they have a thing it's a cup that goes over your nipples and then it goes like this little little little little dope dude bro they

know you wouldn't like that those nipples don't touch mine bro they legitimately have a naked woman masturbating on fucking yeah what the fuck yo it's Amazon chill out what I mean definitely I said Jeffrey Bezos can do whatever the fuck he wants yeah it's like a nipple fucking sucking vibrator okay yeah we got some other stuff here we got we got top this is a this is a fucking Jesus Christ what this is a sex machine gun bro this looks like the guns that were mounted at the fucking movie theater like time crisis a gun whoa what does this do bro it's a gun sex machine gun masturbation sex machine for women

strong thrust dildo machine sex toys set sex vibe vibrator products women this has been demonetized a long time ago we talked about fucking the dead like we were out Joey's been fucking the dead since the beginning of this episode yeah oh my god oh they have it's a drill gun it's like what I'm talking about bro that you they have a bunch of different ones dude this is 86 to 111 dollars on fucking Ali express I don't know what Ali express is everything on there is like two bucks the fact that this is a hundred dollars this is expensive is it like wish.com are you gonna wish.com sex gun essentially oh my god yeah yeah but

this one looks like you you fight zombies with it I mean if you know prepare for both situations but but but but but that dude that's crazy they have some crazy like machines now that's wild dude oh I can't okay okay obviously we have holy cannoli oh wow that must be a good one what is that what is it we should buy some of these oh well obviously we need to review them bro that looks like a fucking that's a tongue that they cut off and put on a fucking like you know those lollipops that you would like pull the trigger and it would spin and the egg would open yes that's what that looks like this looks like a baby bottle pop

disgusting it looks like a lick of lick of color no no no the the paint brush lollipop paint shop oh yeah first you gotta lick it you lick it then you dip it you dip it in this for the bend it's like in this for sucking it's up in oh my god I remember it sex toys for women tongue vibrator licking clitoris vibrating g-spot massage clitoris stimulator female masturbator product for women you don't need to know English just keywords yeah this also is 46% off so anyone out there that's trying to get a get a deal for the summer yeah anyone out there who's trying to get a sex toys for women tongue vibrator

licking clitoris vibrating g-spot massage clitoris stimulator female masturbation product for women they're 46% off and the shipping is only to the US is only a dollar and 47 there you go but it would probably take 75 days to get here again if anyone's in the market for a sex toy for women tongue vibrator licking clitoris vibrating g-spot massage clitoris stimulator female masturbator product for women that was a lot of words if you're if you're in the market for that sort of thing yeah what I'll help you out watch this okay Alexa order me a lick why why not someone's Alexa's gonna go off and be like yeah

they're like what okay Alexa buy me a pussy play Alexa buy me a bag of lady bugs you can buy ladybugs on Amazon can you someone just got ladybugs delivered to their house you can buy worms too yeah we're gonna speaking of buying and selling and marketing and advertising there's tongue you I'll ask us after the ads okay we have two more guys we have quip everyone knows quip my toothbrush love the thing it's amazing quip they have a bunch of products now it's not just the electric toothbrush which is an incredible toothbrush they have mouthwash complete your oral care routine

extra fresh feeling with their mouthwash okay it is amazing and it tastes amazing the plastic mouthwash bottles they're bulky okay what is going on you're getting a phone call someone's calling me it doesn't matter it's probably the ads being like poor mission mouthwash hasn't changed in 140 years most brands are still selling big bulky bottles that are mostly full of water and alcohol that's why the oral care experts I quip created a mouthwash that gives you a more of the ingredients you need and less of the stuff that already comes out of your faucet but yeah so they have now a mouthwash there's a refillable dispenser

you know that for all these things as well I love quip because it literally has everything I have this one big bag that has floss it has the toothbrush it has toothpaste now mouthwash there's a gum that you could also get that dentist recommend like everything you need quip has it now and you can go to get quip calm right now slash basement five and you will get five dollars off of a mouthwash starter kit that's five dollars off a mouthwash starter kit which includes a refillable dispenser and a 90 dose supply of quips four time concentrated formula at get quip comm slash basement five spelled g e t q u i p

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basement 14 and use the code basement 14 for up to 14 free meals plus free shipping all right yeah hello fresh there you go love it you truly love it yeah good friends of the show so I was gonna ask you've seen a tongue licking massage gun clitoris gun vibrator sex machine women women porno no no I saw a man it was for he was a man watching man porn now I wasn't watching man porn it was just like it's pride it's still pride month well by the time people will see this on patreon early patreon.com slash a basement you're still pride month so yeah you Joe dabbling your feet in the gay pool a little bit no no so explain

this man porn you watched I wasn't a man porn it wasn't like a point it wasn't a porn website it's not something that I clicked on it was just one of those things you came across you know when you have one of those friends that always sent you like a weird-ass video yes we're like oh it's a regular thing and all sudden like a dick pops up or something yeah it was kind of video like that you done that to me before by the way yeah I one of my cousins he's like 37 too old to do this he the only time we ever talk there's a group chat with like all of my cousin there's like 14 of us and he'll send videos like that like twice a year

that's the only time it's hilarious but anyway yes it was one of those videos like it started out normal and then it just cuts to a guy with like a gun and like he was drilling this flashlight on his stuff why where were you watching this and why I was just on my couch I just like I was tricked into watching it but then I but I saw it oh you opened you opened the like the message and it was like you know yeah like kid like someone running through it like a puppy running through a field and then they run and dive like straight into a flashlight yeah well no what I mean anything it's they get creative with

those Joe were you gonna ask me before I did about the if you saw the tongue-licking clip-checking video oh no no no I never saw that no but I did recently me and Greg talked to a man who's into some stuff on other people's lives we talked to a guy who married his sex doll so so legally by the way legally he oh just in case he illegally married this inanimate object well not illegally but like literally got a marriage license to marry a sex doll aren't that hard to come by anymore I mean I I don't you know I don't know but this guy also in the middle of the episode said some stuff that was interesting you know he's a

masochist he's also pansexual so masochist is the one that like they get off by like getting the shit kicked out of them basically yeah so and what was the other one pansexual okay well fuck anybody anyone anything man woman trans this whatever train yeah boat well I don't know if you could fuck up boat there's some nice boats Joey I've never never thinking I'll plug up a hole you ever seen an inboard engine let me tell you I'll fucking show it a good but yeah one point the guy you know what I could just play the clip this is a free plug by the way for other people's lives go check it out yeah it's a

good show it's a great show I'm just gonna play it because I don't want to you know mess it up once I practice pepper tincture I sphere my my cock wait what pepper chili tincture hot pepper on your penis yes wow that's kinky wait kinky real yes right here please tell me you got a video I need to see it for science I didn't I didn't get a video of him smearing pepper on his cock pepper yeah so that's kind of like a he like reiterated like a bunch of times like that he is into pain obviously we did get a couple videos from him after the fact that like as you can see he was like I have videos if you want to share

and it was like kind of silent and we didn't really know what to say so we were just like yeah you know bro you know how much it's got to be awful have you ever had like something hot on your peepee yeah yeah yeah by accident like like I see hot or something yeah I got pranked by my college roommates my freshman year they put ice hot on your dick well not only dick they sucked it no no we were pranking each other like in different ways one of the ways was I bought a habanero pepper and in their sleep I rubbed it on their lips and I one day got out of the shower and they in the lining of every pair of boxers I owned

they put Ben gay that is amazing and you had to have known when I put it on really can't see your whole room doesn't smell like Ben gay fucking freshman college you know sweet it smells like a lot of things Ben gay is not the strangest thing that you're probably smelling in that area that's true I did keep a clean and tidy room though but it fucking like I instantly knew it dude it felt like I sat on coals it fucking oh and did you get something on your it was it was no lining so it was from my asshole dick balls asshole gooch that was the wrong like dick balls asshole it came back no no it went to gooch

asshole it went and then came right okay but yeah man that's so this guy's just fucking jerking off with like you know capsaicin kept what is that that's the chemical that makes peppers hot he said a word that I don't know tincture do you know what that means I think he might have said torture but just with his accent I'm gonna look up the word tincture oh no no no this is whoa what the fuck hmm a medicine made by dissolving a drug and alcohol so he jerks off with like formaldehyde fused peppers I think it's like like a concentrate tinctures are concentrated herbal extracts made by soaking the okay

I think he like made a concoction that was filled with chili peppers spices and smeared it on his guys at go getter man I respect them I will say this from doing that show and like all the people like obviously it's very strange to when people say certain things but it is very you don't often hear about people jerking off with peppers I literally never hear about that yeah but and the only on that show but no the the thing that's always fascinating is that people have these like urges and they actually act on them like when you hear about someone being sexually really into something and it's so weird and

strange you have to assume that their sex is like fire you got to respect them this guy found something he enjoys basically made himself a chemist in order to get himself off this guy's going out to the market he's picking out the finest fucking chilies he could find yeah going home and just straight up Dexter's laboratory in that shit yeah I wonder what kind of damage that would do to your fucking penis I mean that ain't gonna feel fun no but I feel like it's natural it's from the earth it can't kill you I don't think it'll kill you I think it'll just sting it will hurt and but I think that's the point it's

supposed to sting what what's like the hottest hot sauce you've ever had um I don't know I'm not really like I don't test that often okay like I've been okay now with like spicy or shit I actually there's a pizza place over here that has a pie called El Diablo yeah so here I ordered this pizza and it has like spicy sobresad and there's like these peppers on it and like jalapenos or whatever so I bought that and I ate it and let me tell you dude yeah gotcha it was hot you know I'm saying as I was eating it but when it was exiting oh I bet it was much hotter I

bet I do really well with hot sauce we should do you know what maybe we'll do that since we hit 9000 instead of you piss at your pants maybe we'll do like a hot sauce competition see how gradually you'll definitely like beat me but there's no winning because we both will lose so I'll do that if you want to do that yeah by the hot sauce how would we what would we make though to nothing we'll just try a little hot sauce for me it's a little oh we're gonna get like a food or something wings wings you ever hear me say no to wings we're gonna like toss them in the we get like two wings or a wing and a little bit of

each of the hot sauces just like we're doing our own hot ones because they won't invite us on yeah is that what you want to do I want to be on hot ones no not that but like so how many how many wings they do like 13 that's fucking insane let's do let's make it a cool eight eight eight it's a full meal let's do six no we need to get we need to get the good stuff all right but you have to put them in order I can't be what 10 million skullville at my days I will send you the listings for all the hot sauce and then we'll make the wings we'll also cook together I know how bad you've wanted to cook with me well how

do you know that because you always talk about how good of a cooker I am yeah cooker yeah already off to a hot start there hot start mmm a spicy start meant was a spicy one twas one but yeah this guy's jerking off with fucking just hot pee pepper yeah good for him do you think he's also he told me he has like nipple clamps like into that there was a big language barrier on that episode where if you don't mind me asking where's a guy from the Ukraine okay it's this also do you crane fun fact hmm survey says worldwide survey says they have the most attractive people in the world for real let's look that up most attractive

people in the world look it up it will come up the Ukraine Ukrainian attractive people not the most attractive language maybe because it's very sharp but Ukrainian most attractive 10 most beautiful according to Mila Kurnes is from the Ukraine obviously according to fill gap news fill the gap fill in the gaps apparently some of these people are Mila Jovovich you know who that is no she's an actress okay she was in those Resident Evil movies oh she's the main she's one of them I've seen the 10 you know they're pretty I don't know who put this girl on here um they're pretty but I wouldn't say the most like wow I'm not

like wow I haven't seen anything to be like oh my god this girl looks like she's four okay what are you on whatever website had listed them fill gap dot news no look up the most attractive people it gave me names and pictures by country oh didn't say Ukraine New York Daily News obviously very reputable says that Ukraine have the most beautiful women in the world they didn't say anything about men because you know who has the most beautiful men Sanne Gatto studios bow I hate everything about you do you yeah oh would you ever get into some smearing stuff no what about food stuff um I mean when I

was like I like I've dabbled in like that you know like the typical food yeah that's like that's not food whipped cream you know that's stupid though that you just a fucking sticky mess yeah I've licked a whipped cream off a boob it's not that cool it's a little more cool cuz it's like whipped cream just the last thing I've ever wanted during a sexual encounter is any form of dairy yeah whipped cream why in God's name are we throwing that in there yeah or like chocolate syrup who made that up you know impossible it is to like there is one thing that I would that I would be willing to try with with with my current

with Becca it's they make alcoholic whipped cream I have tried it but I've never tried it in like a you know how you doing when it gets hammered off of just right dude and it's strong it's like not it's like not easy to take down like you're like wins like you're taking a shot wild I guess you can make anything alcohol nowadays I'm not into that I'm talking about like a full meal though like you're just like you have a little bit of foreplay and you're like are your chicken tenders and then you're like start having sex sit on this ground beef yeah well no no it's not what sit on this ground be yeah it's not

what I meant it is I meant like you know you're just like missionary but like you're eating a burger too no I I am my least attractive when I'm doing two things one showering to how you're gonna say eating an ethics eating I can't buy them no what I'm having when I'm going at it I'm a sexy boy you know I said this I'm said this I'm just like you know a little a little bit of this a little bit of what the fuck was that you know exactly like this what do you say Moon I'm fucking Kane

It is hot How we doing well how am I I'm asking you am I good or no you look a little you look like you're gonna start sweating I look like I take a lot for me to sweat so the fact that I'm like knocking on heaven's door is like something right now why do you think people have different sweat glands um don't even answer that I don't care why the basement yard fucking the dead to like let's talk about the yeah let's talk about the in the fucking biological differences between each of us as humans let's talk about the endocrine system

you know I think that's exactly what it's linked to there's not that I think that's exactly what it's linked to I think so too you know fight or flight yeah what does that mean now you're just saying terms I am we should get out of here we should uh where can they find you Frank uh the let's start that again try to get go go go rewind right we're gonna find you right that's right who'd you find you Frank who'd you work it where can they find you Frank uh f alvers h jerry five on twitter and then the frank alvers on twitch and instagram if you want to come hang out with me and I I just had my second match the movie tributary

schmo down so go check it out movie tributary schmo down the animal frank alvarez so uh and you guys can uh find me at joe san agato uh on all platforms and go follow the show at the basement yard on uh I know I didn't purpose you asshole you're gonna tell me I know someone out there is not able to like identify themselves care like sexually and that's going to be like the thing for them they're gonna just be like um daddy's home um do you follow the show on tiktok and instagram at the basement yard and the patreon patreon.com slash the basement yard you get every episode a week in advance and you get

an exclusive episode every single friday as well as the backlogged all the extra episodes we've ever done hundreds of hours of content hundreds of hours of content I don't know if hundreds of hours of content is accurate but I guarantee it is maybe like 100 like 100 I mean more than 100 is hundreds okay well no it's not is it price is right one dollar um so yeah that is all we'll see you guys next time