The Basement Yard - #303 - The Era Of Sucking Butts

Episode Date: July 19, 2021

Joe gets a DM from a random person who wants to discuss women sucking men's butts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

MY GUYS ARE AMAZING, YAAA Yo Jesus Christ Why would you do that? I don't know and some people probably listen to this at 7am and they're also pissed off You just lost like four fans Yeah I was like fuck this kid But you're not wearing any socks So you gained another eight

Show them Get them here Oh my god they're dirty What the fuck Those are dirty First of all I know you don't wash your feet That's not what I was gonna say

I showered last night I woke up and then I'm walking around my apartment Oh clean your floors I do clean my floors What do you clean them with? A vacuum What about the stuff that's already caked onto the floor Caked

There's cake on those floors You need to wipe clean and sanitize I haven't mopped it I'll buy you a swift or wet jet I used to have one of those I like how they spit all over the floor Everywhere Welcome back

Speaking of spitting Not really spitting We did almost spit a little bit on the Patreon Patreon.com Go check it out now The episode that we recorded this Was the hot sauce Hot sauce

We did like a hot ones thing Which is so much better than the actual So much better There first we feast, where then we fuck It's not one of my favorite series on the internet Or anything, but whatever You just gotta read the secret You seem to fucking emancipate it

Is that what it's called? Yeah, just like put it out there in the universe I will be on hot ones The word you're looking for is manifest Emancipate it The emancipation proclamation Yeah, manifest destiny You're just saying words now

From history, you're damn right I'm going to look up emancipate so that you know Listen, I don't often get words wrong Set free I am setting Especially from legal, social, or political restrictions Okay, well then I guess The social restriction

Is not allowing me to say it And I've set free my hope and dream to be on hot ones Set a child free from the authority of its father Parents You went straight for the child But check it out Free from slavery Patreon.com

Every weekly episode, like this one that you're seeing Guess what, you got it a week before anybody else If you're a patron, and if you're the next tier up You get exclusive episodes, nobody else gets to see Power Hour First We Feast Other shit that's on there It's incredible, so go check it out

Patreon.com Stop You can scream and make noise, but not me Anyway I got a message this morning We were talking about the spitting, or farting Spitting on the floor, the wet jet Squirting and farting, right?

No, I'm just saying, it's in the same house Are squirting and farting in the same house? Depends They might come from the same train station But they left on different times So true, no I got this message Ready? 8.24 a.m Oh, good time

Really early I don't have, because I screenshot it And I didn't have the username in it But it says, Joe can you please talk about this On the basement yard It's happening Well there you go, you made it You emancipated that dream of yours

Let it go, nope Maybe you'll get it at some point I think that actually kind of works a little bit It doesn't My friend openly discusses eating her boyfriend's ass And I can't help but be weirded out Is it normal for a girl to eat Her boyfriend's ass

It's a no for me It's a no from me That's the person that sent this to you Yes, yes, they wrote it's a no from me So clearly this is a woman Who her friend You know, as friends do Yeah, I mean this is a resurgence

That has come through in the last 10 years Back before 10 years Sucking butts Sucking butts is in right now I think When sucking butts first came back I was like, yo, what's going on Dude, I remember literally 10 years ago I worked with a guy

Who was like, yo, I've been married to my wife For so long, I'm letting you know Sucker butt Not his wife's butt Whoever I would be with, sucker butt I remember sitting down When I worked at Elite Daily And just sitting down in the office

And then all of a sudden this like Butt sucking wave Reared its ugly head and then it just like Ran over society And now everyone's just sucking butts Think about all the people that are sucking butts right now Brood Bro and dude in one

Someone right now Is just getting their butts sucked Dude, and not just sucked, but like Fucking like There's like farty squirts in there too Like there's gross stuff I'll tell you who brought it back Barstool brought it back

Barstool was like, yo, frat stars Suck butts And all the kids around the nation are like Oh great, we'll take a break from date rape And now we'll just fucking suck farts Jesus, I really don't think that It's not barstool that's that It's the frat stars around the country

Taken from someone that was in a fraternity Never witnessed any date rape I was like, what the hell are you talking about? Also the weird hazing, you guys gotta put the broomsticks down Weird weird weird It's the elephant walks We already went through that So I posted that on my story

And let me just say It's a polarizing topic And I didn't know that But people have like a bunch of different opinions About it One woman said I eat my boyfriend's ass I shave

And wash it for him first He was skeptical at first But now he loves it So she doesn't just prep the meal She preps it, cooks it, eats it And does the dishes Are you kidding me? She shaves and washes his ass Of course he's getting his ass in

You're giving him his ass a whole spa day And then sucking his butt And then doing the dishes Whoever this unnamed individual is Let's hope that man keeps her around Because you've peaked You got the person that does the laundry So to say

Figuratively speaking Folds it, puts it in a drawer And then tongue punches your fart box And also buys you the clothes That's kind of impressive Just enjoy this It takes a real special type of person To eat butt

Frequently Because the stars need to align Jupiter and Saturn and Uranus Need to be in line with each other Quite literally And The person that I am I'm not a germaphobe

But I'm like a germa You're a poopaphobe I'm afraid of anything coming out of a butaphobe What though? What was that? That was thundies baby Oh here it comes There's a lot of birds, I don't like this Honestly when storms and birds combine

Bad stuff happens Did that bird ever come back? No, never saw that bird again That is a door nail, huh? Well I don't know, a bird could have made it I've had loads Right, that was like the first loads in caps I've had loads of guys ask me to eat their butts

She wrote ass Um I've not done it That's a very like Good for you I've not done it I'm not guilty I've not done it

But I'm thinking about it I'm thinking about doing it with a bloke But I've not done it Dude Dude it was some bloke In the middle of a shack I've not done it But now it seems almost normal to me

Because of the amount of times I've been asked to do it I mean it Let's be honest, let's normalize weird stuff during sex Like go ahead Go nuts, everyone does it It's just like, I guess everyone's talking about it now That's a difference I think there's like, like I said the butt sucking

Or the butt touching But eating has been out since like forever Dude What's this called when you just do this? Fondling Like this You gotta get in there And introduce it

You gotta like, you know, like you're asking the butt for money You're like, come on, come on Oh and you'll get some fucking crap if you're not careful It's like, come here, come here You're asking a butt for a tip I brought your bags upstairs, let's go I'll give you a tip, alright I personally

You know During my life I'm sure like my face has gone near a butt Thunder Me too That's Zeus watching you Whoever fucking put you I believe in none of that

So it's all fake And I I will say I've been near a butt, however You see butts Even if I knew If I Stumbled upon

Knowing That my butt getting eaten Was the fucking Sexiest thing to me Like horny Would make you just like, just make me like fucking Bing bang boom I still wouldn't

Put someone through that I would never put I have a wife now I would never I have to look that woman in the eyes She needs to breastfeed my daughter And hang out with my other kid And just knowing that like

Butts That's irredeemable Well, I disagree I think you're hyping your butt up I think you're hyping your butt down My butt sucks My butt like the outside I just saw your butt

It's a good butt As soon as Like you open the doors Here's the church, here's the steeple Open the doors, big fat problem Big fat fucking problem Big hairy problem Not really that hairy, it's just gross

They've jammed it in there It's like Yo, it's like I'll give you this, I'll give you this You know when like you have like slime I'm sorry, did you say gag? Yeah, and you have a test tube And you're trying to shove it all in the test tube

And it like flowers out and you can't get it all in I don't know if you know this about me Go ahead I'm almost 30 What you just said Is not relevant in my life Or relatable in like what so ever Don't even sit here and tell me

You've never played with slime and or gagged Yeah, back when I was like And you don't remember what it looked like Gag? You didn't even really know what that was Gag It's slime Slime

But like what I'm saying is like That's what I imagine So to I would never like Even if I knew like yo this is the horniest But I listen I know that you're saying Like I would never put someone through that But what if someone's like

This is what I want, no thank you Because I like yo realistically You don't want to come hard You don't want to come soft I'm fine with dribble drabbles I realistically know I realistically know You need to like

In order to like during a sexual Fucking party Not with like just like one person One party You need to Not only be able to please the other person But you need to be able to like Be comfortable with parts of yourself

So if they want to do something If Becca woke up And was like yo Trying to suck that out I want your fucking butt I would say I couldn't do it I couldn't because I wouldn't put it through it And I wouldn't feel comfortable

Like yo yo Just imagine just someone Just shoving their face in your ass Yeah They were okay with that I mean I don't think about it in the way That you're thinking about it You're thinking about it like some crazy

Like ungodly sin It's just like I wouldn't be able to Like I understand like you know Some people are not comfortable with certain parts of them Like you know they like Lights out sex or whatever like cause they're not comfortable Because they think about it and they become a little self-conscious I am self-conscious of my asshole

I don't I'm not self-conscious about my asshole Because I feel like Unless I was like not prepping Ready to be I mean you see the toilets you got in this place I wouldn't be self-conscious either Things are fucking

All the bells and whistles But if I was like If I was like prepped and ready to be But sucked I'd be fine Yo you're gonna tell me right now And yo be honest Be honest with me right now Why'd you close your eyes?

It closed your eyes If you can tell me right now You would be cool with someone Sucking your butt I guarantee I can make it happen Wait what are you saying I guarantee Why you have a ring of butt suckers that you control

No but I'm sure Are you a butt sucking pimp? I'm not no butt sucking pimp I'm sure if I speak to the right people I can get you a butt suck quite easily I think Yeah I think I could get a butt suck If desperately needed a butt suck

I'm not even saying desperately If you just like wake up and you're like Yo I play tennis, I jog, I use the box No no That's not what I'm saying And by the way you fucking You started a thing that is getting out of control now I love it

Because anytime that I do anything on Instagram I've posted a picture of My car Or like a driving in my car And people are like driving Joe And I'm like Or like the tennis Joe Sweating Joe

I mean you have to admit you have a lot of phases I think you know that And Joe is coming back Where'd he go? Where did he was born? Bethlehem I brought the myrrh And the frankincense

Jesus Nazareth I didn't remember Christmas Anyway I have another answer to this question So again the post was about My friend openly discusses eating her boyfriend's ass And I can't help but be weirded out

To eat her boyfriend's ass It's a no for me This reply just said Global warming Now it begs the question And I know we're not We're both not scientists Methane is a greenhouse gas

We're not both scientists But do you think that there is a connection With the global warming And things of that nature And butt sucking Because they both kind of started to become a topical thing at the same time Yes or no Maybe

All I'm gonna say Is as we have discovered butt sucking The world has been getting worse People are more divided than ever Like environmentally You know like if we all just Stopped sucking butts Maybe it'll stop because like I said

Methane is a greenhouse gas And you gotta imagine There's a good amount like what are there more of Cows farting in fields Or people getting their fucking cooter and pooter licked And you gotta think You know You know when you knock on the door

Someone's gonna answer And you might not always like who's coming to the door Now you've lost me You lick a butt and then all of a sudden Here's a fart Oh bro could you imagine You could get sprayed for sure Could you imagine you get fucking skunk sprayed

By when you're eating someone's boot Boot I love that, yeah I mean that's definitely a possibility That's the risk you take I don't think you've given You could also get like peed on and stuff too right Well I've never been peed on I've never been peed on either

I mean I peed on myself Oh I think everyone's pissed on themselves Yeah Not like on purpose Although Patreon you might be doing that soon Um Did you say like where you are Like how do you feel about you getting your buddy butt

Oh getting my boot Well no let's also say with the piss Let's start with that one too You would rather get shit on No I would rather get pissed on 10 times than shit on once You gotta worry about the poop There's disease

But like you also worry about what consistency You're getting that day Yeah it really doesn't matter I would still be my worst day Yeah I don't really want that I'll pee on someone though I would never Evacuate myself in any capacity on somebody

Evacuate myself No I'd piss I'd pee on someone if they needed me to What about a jellyfish What about a jellyfish Okay yeah if you got stung by a jellyfish It was like yo pee on me You're pissing all over me

Dude I'll pee on your chest even if it's on your leg Let it run down Yeah let it for later Stand up and you'll have another fucking dose of medicine Oh god um Yeah I don't know Here's another one Tell it equipped being scared and chomp on that man's booty hole

It's a whole new level of intimacy Chomp? I don't know if you could chew on a butt That's not good Well some people are into they're like masochists And they're like into sort of pain So maybe some guys like to get their butt chomped Google the word butt chomp right now

Is there something Cause I would imagine It's not like an abnormal thing You know what I mean like where there's a tongue There's teeth you know and you know how they say like If it has a mouth it bites But that's chomping on the cheek You don't want a cheek chomp

Yeah I know Did you think I was going to find a picture of someone biting a Like a asshole I don't know what's on the internet I tend to steer clear of the Crazy parts of the internet The butt chomping The butt chomping is one of those yeah

Yeah but this person I think has the The wrong idea of how to do that sort of thing I think that it's more Of the tongue and not the teeth You know what I'm not going to say I think Like I'm pretty certain I'm pretty certain that's how you do it How do you do it

Like my chompa butt Chompa butt Well I think chomping of course is why You go in and let the suction Of the butt cheeks take you over Or do you spread them a little bit I'm going to need you to go back Yeah

The suction of the butt cheeks Yeah you know when you Put your hand on Something and completely Suctions around it Do you realize Look at my face Do you think that

Bro you're going to tell me you don't think You can get stuck in a butt No maybe It would have to be like a world record It can happen That's not a world record Kim Kardashian's got a big suction Cut butt

There are bigger butts By definition But you're talking You're going not only with size You're going with ideal Tenderness shape I assume What are we right now

We're deep in a butt We're deep in butts right now But yeah I had That was just like an interesting thing Like I had a lot of people Kind of write in their own Kind of things They were people who were super against it

They were like disgusting They were throwing me vomit emojis People are weird like they're freaks Like if you need this to get off Then you shouldn't and I don't really believe in that You know if you find a partner that's down to do whatever Fucking go for it You want to suck each other's butts at the same time

Blow butts I don't think that you can do You think anyone blows into butts I would hope so I mean I know that's like a drug thing What do they call it? Boofing Yeah I'm talking about just like Like this is the butt and just holding it

Like a balloon and just going You gotta imagine And what you feel a colon but then you're looking at farts You can do to a body part Anything that can be done to it has happened If it's like oh a penis Like you blow it, suck it, bite it, chew it I'm sure people put a penis in their mouth

Yeah There are some guys out there that I'm sure are into Biting, getting their shit bit Yeah it's out there I mean we remember that video Years ago kids in the sandbox Yeah what was that? It was like a thing It was a little dildo

A little pee hole And it seemed to be about it Yeah I didn't like that at all You didn't think that? No it was not good But you know it's a crazy world out there But you know sexual freedom do whatever you want

We're also talking about our personal opinions On the matter Frankie clearly has some You know work to do on his nipples and butthole Stay away from both Yeah the things that are probably Colored the same I would say That's offensive I would say that

I know what you're talking about Yeah probably Yeah Your butt and your nipples are probably the same color Probably the two most untouched parts of my body I would say Would you let me Touch your nipple?

Like put your finger on it No don't do that I can't do this? No Are you afraid that it would like Sexually harass you? Touch? Like these are for like milk If I was a woman you know You're not? I know

But like I just don't want them being touched They're sacred to me Do you ever touch them? Sometimes when I'm having a bad day What? You know No I don't When I'm having like those days where your nipples chafe for no reason Oh you're just kind of like

And I was like God this sucks and I do this I do gait theory you know Wait you give it the old scissor A little bit You ever heard of like the idea of like if you have a mosquito bite right here And it's like don't scratch a mosquito bite scratch around it Because it'll like It takes the fucking like

Receptors off of the mosquito bite That must be some deep Colombian You've never heard of that? No I haven't I'm pretty sure are a very real thing But um When like my nipples are chafing I like scratch around my nipples And like sometimes I can get the nipple itself Just to like

See if it's okay Seriousness Seriousness in your face Was so funny just now Do you remember when you go through that age at like 15 Where you used to have puffy nipples? Yeah dude I had butted nipples I remember you had like donut nips

Donut? Yeah they were like real puffy And in the middle was like an instant I still have that thing there's like a surgery that people get It's called a gynecomastia or something like that What's that? It's like my nip I have it Like not some dudes have it very bad I have it like whatever but it's like no matter what

If I wear a tight shirt Like you'll see like the like My nipples Not like hard like you'll see like the buds of your nipples I kind of have that but it's because I'm fat So like no matter how thin you get They'll be there so some dudes get a surgery Where they like go in they cut right under nipple

And they take the fat out so that it's like flat So it's just a flat nipple I've never known that I don't care about it I can't lie I don't like having my nipples out and about I mean I don't mind when my nipples are out I would rather have my shirt off than wear a shirt And have my nipples like kind of shown

I don't really care Unless I had cool pointy nipples then that would be cool No I don't think there's anything cool about it Like when my nipples are cold I'm like When my nipples are cold they get strong Dude those things are tough Yeah my nipples are fucking pretty they could bench press a lot They could probably do a couple things

But I don't like I don't trust Even if it was a surgery like that Like you'll put me under for like three days I want to wake up and like know that like There's no nipple like action going on That's so crazy I just don't like it I don't know how to explain it Did something happen? Did a cat get at him when you were younger?

No I don't think so I just I think it was also traumatized Because our friends would always do like nipple twisters Oh purple nipples You know titty twisters as we would call them And I remember just really really really not liking them So it's like hey man stay away from my nipples

Well I also have a little You know when people play Mercy And you go like this and you're like Fucking with your hands You never play Mercy So it's like you go like this and you just like wrestle Like it always hurt my fingers and I hated the game So like I don't really like

I don't like wearing rings I don't like holding hands I don't like the feeling of things in between my fingers You want to put my ring on? No it would freak me out And also one time Like I don't like this Like I don't like it And also when someone grabs one of my fingers

Like Singular like that I freak out I mean the only people that do that are babies No and people that want to like fuck with you And be like well only break your finger Like an old uncle or something Fucking jab you Uncle Joe Who the fuck does that? Old people

Really? I didn't know that Old people love showing off their handshakes And trying to like fucking crush your thumb People love handshakes Big handshake guys All men love handshakes Like you know like back in the day Where you go through this where you meet like any girls dad

For the first time You got pretty good girls Shut up you fucking loser Really showing me how tiny your dick is with your handshake Like oh dude you really can shake a hand What am I impressed by this? Fuck off Not at all Alright let's get to the first two ads that we have for today

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Of any case of water or again Just grab my Whole Foods or 7-Eleven They're out there in these streets Go check them out If you're not drinking liquid death then what are you doing? You know what I'm saying? Welcome back to keeping it Frank! Ladies and gentlemen The best show

On the best show that you watch It's keeping it Frank on the base vignard I mean where else would you like to be? He's ever right here, right now, with me I am your host, the one the only The factual one Frank Alvarez And well ladies and gentlemen We have quite the episode today

Because boy oh boy Is this something that has been brewing for a while So joining me as always Is our guest Yes, go ahead No I was just saying Joe, welcome back to keeping it Frank Thanks for having me

I was doing well But now you're going to be fucked So let me ask you something Would you say that I'm your closest friend? Yes Would you say I'm your oldest friend? Yes How long have we been friends for Joey?

24 years I'll tell you exactly how long 1777 days It doesn't seem like a lot I know or 784,252 In 800 seconds Please tell me you went deeper Or what 13 million

70,880 I couldn't read numbers for a second 13,070,880 minutes That sounds like a lot 217,848 hours 9,077 days I get it 1296 weeks

Work weeks How many more of these do you have? Just one more A common year is 365 days 2,486.85% of that That's how long we've been friends Wow 24 years 10 months 8 days

298 months How did you narrow this down to today? It doesn't matter Did you just pick a random day? Like September 1st It's literally exactly the date that I picked September 1st 1996

Is that pre-k? So Were we friends before pre-k or no? I think we had brushed shoulders like yo what's up 3 years old Remember our sisters were in school together Yeah

When did they go to school together? They were in pre-k kindergarten and first grade together Oh I don't know The reason I asked Joey is because Something happened today Ladies and gentlemen As of the day of this recording I knew this was going to happen

That has not happened Ever It was and then it stopped But now it's back So let me ask you So Joe Sanagato The internet's famous For years

Didn't follow anyone on twitter No Zero Poot No one Why was that Joey? I just didn't want to have my newsfeed clogged No I

I unfollowed everyone on twitter because I didn't want a reason to be on it as much You were making You were making an artsy statement Some would say To be fair That was multiple years That I was following no one That was like 4 years ago

I don't know about that I was going to say 2 or 3 years Maybe Why today? What happened today that was like I'm going to throw him a bone here What Frankie's referring to is that He followed me on twitter after not following anyone

Was I the only person who followed or were there more? There was like 25 25 It's an elite group I should have been number one though you son of a bitch So go ahead I don't know It's getting fucking scary out there

It literally looks like the apocalypse It looks like apocalypse It looks like there's going to be a tornado But no I Followed 25 people Or so on twitter I'll probably follow some more also I don't know

I feel like I'm trying to move Towards twitter rather than Instagram now That's hilarious because In everything that we've done You've always been like Twitter is like on the out It's true

You followed 24 people Do you want me to read them go through? No, what is the point? I was just going to make that There's no one like it's It's a pretty good group Danny, Keith, Greg Some of our friends

Deezus and Mero Deezus and Mero they're hilarious Yeah, no I don't know I feel like Instagram is Becoming less and less fun For me as the days go on And this seems more fun

Because I feel like twitter is still like for fun People like having fun And writing funny jokes or whatever And now every time I go on Instagram I'm like Just very serious topics Instagram has just become a place Where people can post their tiktoks

Yeah I mean yes, but also like I don't know, I just feel like There's still a lot of Like To me Instagram became everyone's job Like everyone's like I can be an influencer and I can do this

So they treat it like a job and twitter People don't do that So I feel like it's more fun Like Instagram now everyone has like An image and like trying to promote something And like treating it like a job It's exhausting, I get that Not that it's exhausting, it's just like

Who wants to do that all the time Let's just fuck around, have fun So did you actively say I'm going to follow Frankie Or did you say like oh there's his page Let me give him a pity follow No, I searched your name I feel great

Ladies and gentlemen, I think this is the Second Where we fucking gotcha Where we did We fucking gotcha I legitimately Saw that this morning and I was like What?

I did it like a stutter step Like is this real? Mind you, I got that from like Six people too, I got text messages being Screenshotting and seeing like I was going to screenshot it and post it ironically But I didn't But they sent it to me and they were like what the fuck

Yeah, what's going on? I was like oh I guess artsy joe is gone It's not artsy It was kind of artsy for you to unfollow everyone I don't see that I think there's like multiple famous people that do that Because they're like oh fuck Well I unfollowed everyone mainly because

I was like there's a lot of people that I don't And then there's like Tay Diggs who follows Like half a million people Yeah what is that Yes He followed me when I was like what the fuck is this And I saw he follows everyone You know my third follower ever was

Who? Tony Ayo What Third follower ever Shorty is so seductive dancing on me Dancing on me I could breathe on the track and make money That's you know Now how much was that

Tony Ayo, New York icon Was in trouble because of that Yeah Ayo, he had that He had that, he had to sell that And then he got out of it And then probably maybe still did a little bit of that I think they all But everyone who's famous does a little bit of that

Are you gonna go through now other famous people that follow you Like John Cena Oh yeah he also Follows like 100,000 people I'll tell you who follows me and doesn't follow a lot of people Motherfucking Ricky Martin Really? Ricky Martin?

And that dude? Still hot That guy He can fucking eat my butt If he wants That guy's a rocket ship Ricky, sticky icky Martin Good for them

Who else follows you? I don't know I think I have one person with a check mark that follows me And it's you Now, before you How was it? Joey Bats Oh I think people from the showdown

Go check out the showdown They follow you? Twitter was fun man Twitter was fun back in the day But he used to tweet a lot Literally you And Wait you can look up your verified followers

I just look up followers and I'm scrolling Trying to see them How many followers do you have? On Twitter? Just literally Basically 12,000 Basically 12,000? 11.9

Not as much on Instagram This is how we define success now How many people watch you And look at you and Aimlessly click on your pictures Yeah It's kind of crazy I forget where

I was watching a Bo Burnham interview Is it the one on the podcast that he did? I don't remember But it was something where he was saying About how we're living in such an Interesting time, especially on Instagram Because people are like with stories or whatever

They're like living their lives But then they're watching themselves live their lives Everyone who's watching this right now Think about how many times you watch Your own story that you've posted Why do we do that? What is that? We all do that

Obviously everyone does that Multiple times Do we think we Are that interesting? You're watching yourself live your life So it's like It's a very strange thing It is weird

The weirdest part to me Is that Specifically on Instagram Bo Burnham's an interview on a podcast Is that you can fucking scroll And it will be a picture of someone eating A fucking eggs benedict And then the next one

Someone that's super activism Focus And the next one it's like someone slapping Their fucking asleep roommate Your brain is trying to process All these fucking things at the exact same time And there's no way That you can do that

The brain is not meant to have all that information You literally in seconds And that's why people on the internet Just fucking on a whim Right now That's why I think you can at least Get away from that on Twitter Because with Instagram it's impossible

Because it's all visual based So you can create videos That are funny Or you can just Survive off of your looks Or a combination of both But on Twitter it's just Really words like are you interesting

Or are you creative or you know whatever Some people use it for like For me for the most part I use it for like Trending like news That's how I keep up on like whatever Like I'll follow certain trends or whatever But There's a lot less of this like

Background noise Like we all pay too much attention to But no one really gives a shit about Like stories bro like And then the people that like Everyone's stories at a point I mean honestly I would rather do that Like that's something I can get on board with

I muted everyone's stories except Like fucking sports center And then the people on Instagram In particular will like And I'm sure both of us have been guilty Of this at a certain point like oh my god They feel some sort of validation because Like this fucking brand reaches out to them

And wants them to do this this this and this And then you like stop And realize that like hey this Then literally doesn't give a fuck about you And only is reaching you because it's fucking Cheaper for you to post a picture and them to give you $400 then to put up a billboard Or run a commercial

Yeah it is well not only that but it is Pretty Interesting when you think about it From like a brand's perspective like A lot of people I think myself included when I first Was starting out when brand Started reaching out I started to feel validated

In myself and like So this is I'm turning this into a thing Or like this is really cool like I will work with this brand just because It makes me look more legitimate like this and that None of that you're not handpicked It's literally like an algorithm Automated system

You are a number you aren't you You aren't anything except that They don't give a fuck about you as an individual They care about the people that watch you And you're a conduit How good your content is how whatever It's not because you're talented It's literally because of that number

If that number aligns that number Hits a certain amount In their budget that they can allocate Some money to funds for you that they think Will be worth it for the eyes that they'd be Getting in exchange has nothing to do With you or your talent It's fucking it's wild when you think about that

For you to get Validation from that like oh this feels So good for this company reaching out It's like they don't even know who you are Like they don't even know I was going to say not only do they not know They don't give a fuck Just so you know

How fucking crazy this is I still get emails to this day From Instagram Companies or whatever being like Oh do you want to be a part of our campaign And clearly it's like an automated thing And like whatever And then they'll offer like

200 bucks Which is like not What I would be paid for that But like I'll do like Once in a while Joey maybe next time when you decide to get artsy And unfollow everyone Before doing it you decide that you want to try to

Just keep it Frank Gotcha You know what I want to talk about something Go and talk about it What's up It's very hooky You hooked it

I have a strong tongue How do you know that? Because like I've like pushed through like fruit Like I pushed Like I could push easily Like I could push the pit out of a cherry With just my tongue I swear to God

Without shattering the cherry Well I mean I would need to like it'll rupture the cherry Oh I can rupture a cherry But like if I hold the cherry in my teeth I'll get it out I have a very strong tongue Did you ever try to tie a cherry? I knew you were going to tie a cherry

I did it last night Literally last time out You ate a cherry last night I ate multiple cherries and they're fucking great I hate cherries Cherry pie I would rather Literally it's you're looking at a period Jesus

No not good That's my time No but when you take a cherry stem And throw it in your mouth and then tie it You did that? As I did it I pulled it out and I said Who fucking cares about this Like you think

Bro I remember When we were kids it was like Yo the cherry and do you remember the other one The unwrapping a starburst in your mouth Which is very simple And also not sexy Like you pulled a wet piece of paper out of your mouth Like

It's fucking ill And what like Dude did you see what you could do with that cherry stem Tie it in a knot You think she's going to play with your dick like a cherry stem She's going to tie your dick in a knot No it means nothing Literally zero

There's nothing about that as sexy I mean I guess it is cool if you want to think of it that way But like for like being turned on It is stupid Anyway let's get to these final ads here Before we move on to this Lovely topic here Liquid IV hydrates faster and more efficiently

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Which Starburst Stop Gang Green Gang is con, had a lot of money Gang is con, had a lot of money He did He was a trillionaire I just saw Krista Stefano's clip

Krista Stefano, friend of the show Apparently hates me I reached out to him for the This is Joe Senagato, guess what Never even acknowledged Damn, Chrissy Chaos Not answering Frankie That was kind of chaotic, I was a little upset

And we connected that one time I passed by him What? He was here, recorded an episode of the Basement Yard Oh yeah And he asked me where he could eat And I said there was a good Greek seafood place I said, do you like Greek seafood? He said yup, and that was it

Which one? Did he go? I don't fucking know, but apparently he hates me So Chris, I get it Now you're gonna have to come on the show and you're gonna have to kiss Frankie in front of everyone Bro, come on the show and I will fucking Will you smooch him? He'll fucking kiss you I've seen him kiss a man

Have you? Have you kissed a man? Probably I've kissed a man, I've said this Yeah, yeah, of course it was kissed for me I think I've kissed a man I don't know if I kissed Chris What? I don't know

I don't know where his lips have been On other men But that's the thing, it's like what other men? Like are we talking like someone like a Brad Pitt or like an Artie Lang? Like there's a big difference Um, you know, I just think someone who's probably like You know, just like a host on True TV or something Oh yeah, he's got that new show on True TV

Where he's like, oh! Well no, he smooched a man on that show On the show, just kissing guys? He said he was having a drink and the drink was so good He's like, oh yeah Really? I've never had a drink so good that I've kissed a man It must have been amazing I was like, I was dying to have some

I hope, I mean realistically, I hope I have a drink that makes me Just like, just take a blip on the other end of sexuality But Uh, yeah I don't think, I don't know if I kissed Chris I have to be in the moment and see how I feel Well don't try, don't tie a cherry stem in front of him Because I don't know what that's gonna be

Apparently he'll be one and he'll want to suck my face Well that's so, isn't it? Like I always think about that, like the cherry stem And then the starburst wrapper Where it's like, oh I can undo a starburst wrapper You know, whatever, like how does that translate To sex at all? We were just saying this, it doesn't make any sense

Like when we were kids, it was like Oh, what is that person Gonna do with their tongue to you If you're a man, if you're a girl I could get that Like that would make sense Yeah, but I'm not trying to unfold your vagina I mean, you're trying to tie

The clitoris in a knot with your tongue Whoa! I don't know Spoiler alert, Joey sucks at eating a box Psych? Can't tie a slam that box This is Joey's way of saying that he's never been able to tie A cherry stem in a knot

No, I think I have done it What were the other ones that like people were like Oh my god, it's so, oh like super flexible people Yeah, like you should be able to put a leg over a head What are you gonna do? That's cool yo, we're 14 Yeah Like what the fuck are you talking about dude

Like You guys are gonna wrap your arms and legs around each other And hug and in 30 seconds be done Yeah, and then cry And then tell all your boys That's what I was saying about that show Sex Education I love that show so much But it is so unrealistic to think of kids in high school

No, it's not though Girls? Now, now bro Forget it But I mean I'm not actively It just doesn't, I don't think that there are At least when we were in high school That Anyone that's in high school is having the worst sex of their life

Period Yeah, well that's true And they're like And like No one is like really getting a good lay in high school Unless they were held back for years And they're really 22 And then it's a crime

It also just comes with Consistency And you don't have a whole bunch of consistent sex I mean in high school You might have like Every high school has one person I'm not talking about like consistency Every high school had one person, or one couple

That like dated like all four years And it's like they were there They were probably like really going to town on each other But like even then it wasn't great Yeah come on we gotta wait We gotta wait It's probably just like What is it?

That's it Think about it Yo high school Think about like both times you had sex when you were in high school Was it Was it even remotely good For For like generally

Objectively speaking was it good and then think about Like the females perspective I'm gonna say this Especially the first time that I had sex It was literally One not my idea But you consented Yes

Not my idea but I was like Yep And It was literally Just so like in my head I wasn't even thinking about Her pleasure, duh Mine I wasn't even thinking about that either

I was literally just like This counts Like literally that's all I thought about All I thought about was like this is sex I'm having it right now and that's all I cared about Was like I did it And that's a horrible way to think Bro I remember when I was in

Like my senior year in high school I was a super just fucking dick douchebag And my thing was like I remember actively having conversations With people and being like Yo Sex for men is way more Stressful than sex for women

Stressful What was your thinking behind that? Yo the man has to like perform and last long And like buh buh buh Looking back very dumb Very stupid It was a sexism It was we grew up in the age of men

The age of men Well not really the age of men From 0 AD To 2017 When men died Yeah no men died uh Recently White men are dead

White men have been murdered in the streets Yeah yeah That's a joke It's a joke But um Yeah no But yeah so the first time I had sex I was just kind of like

Whatever and then the second time I had sex I think I was more So like worried about the time Like I was like it needs to last longer So I'm thinking of like Like I I didn't start caring about Even orgasms for myself

Until like the fifth time Bro when you're a guy You like it's like Sex is about just like figuring out The quickest way to get to come Like when you're that age Seriously when you're that age like you're not thinking About like yo let me make this a fucking good

Buh buh buh buh buh buh I don't know if I'll ever do this again Let me just fucking do it now You know And then I see like sex education Like fucking they're obviously Played by adult actors and actresses But they're playing kids and they're like

The girls are like oh my god I had such a great orgasm with him And it's like no high school boy Is making any high school girl orgasm Nah I mean I don't think that's None true I talk to high school kids all the time About this stuff

I'm kidding But like just remember I'm tapped in I keep my ear to the ground remembering like Where we were and our friends during that time But this is the thing I can almost guarantee That it was like one per year This is what I

This is my thing is that when we were Younger and it's like It's not to say that we're like Ancient or anything because we're not It's just that every four years The gap gets wider and wider Of four years like four years ago from today Was completely different world and then

That four year period and then four years beyond That was so astronomically different It's probably because of like Social media and the technology boom whatever My point is when we were in high school Some people didn't have cell phones Like a lot of people weren't like Texting like that like

They were but not like how it is now And like social media wasn't really a thing So there was just less Access to information And like entertainment and these things So but now like sex is so Like put out there in mainstream It's like whatever and you go on tiktok

And there's like these These kids who are like fucking 16, 17 Talking about like Eating puss like out and about Like I'll be afraid that my dad would see that And fucking literally rip my dick off In that in that regard I do And I know you're not saying it's not this case

But like kids are gonna fuck Kids are going to fuck Give them the tools to understand what is the responsible And irresponsible way of doing that And in that regard like if there is a sexual Awakening quote unquote with You know the youth today in high school or what Have you that's good because that is

What's going to prevent You know issues with unwanted Pregnancies you know hopefully it'll Be able to provide us with you know more Knowledge in regard to what consent actually Is and what actually what it is not You know so in that regard the knowledge is doing The fucking right thing but like

Regardless of the knowledge like in high School I could have known all this stuff and I still Would have had no fucking clue what to do Because there wasn't a home Class where I was putting my dick in a fucking You know cantaloupe The thing that I was saying is like You like kids

To us sex was just like Sex it was like whatever But now it's so mainstream And people talk about it and And now it's like almost normal For these kids in high school to know such a deep Like have a deep understanding Of sex and sexual positions and this and that

Like there's all these like kinks And fetishes and like girls Sucking bananas on the internet and you're like This wasn't a thing Also not a very sexy thing Sucking a banana like yo I'm telling you this right now right and I'm dead serious When I say that as a guy who loves

You know pps getting Getting yours you know Yes You know Also big banana guy I love bananas Are good whenever I see a video Of a girl doing that right where she like takes the banana And she's just like

It gives me anxiety I get very worried Because I'm like yo those are like frail It's a frail fruit If that breaks you're in big time trouble You're in a world of big fat problems Big fat problems You're in a big fat banana problem I'd be worried if I were you

Yo you watch those videos I'm telling you anytime you guys see a video And what is that yo realistically If I had a massive Dung Would you think I would want this to be shoved Into someone's stomach basically No

Why how does that feel good You think the esophagus Feels better than the fucking mouth Um I think that No The answer is no Joey I think it's still cool Yeah you really think it's cool No it's like those people that can put fucking

Swords down their throat People either That's awesome It's like on fire too How do you swallow fire dog People do it all the time All I'm saying is I just I just don't

Like I think that even though The The way that knowledge has kind of been provided To you know the younger generation In terms of like sexual health and understanding You know reproductive organ and shit like that Even if we had that Knowledge we wouldn't know what the fucking

Do with it Because the reality Is that what has not gone away Porn And guess what 80% of what I thought sex was As a fucking ninth grader Was from porn

So even you can tell me like yo That this is buh buh buh here's that And bing bang boom I would be like yo porn That sex you know what I mean Even if I had that knowledge I don't know and I think like eventually We will get there and they will like

The generations will get smarter hopefully No I think the generations are smarter Like I was saying they have more information I'm just saying it's a while to think about Like in high school like I said sex Was just like sex it was like you had sex But no one really asked about this and that Fetishes and kinks were not talked about at all

And like maybe it's a good thing That everyone is like you know so out and about about it And like whatever buh buh that's not what I'm really talking about anyway But I'm just saying it's fucking crazy to think about Like in high school when you had sex You just had sex it was like a very regular thing It wasn't anything crazy and now People are choking each other slapping each other spitting in mouths

And calling each other whores and daddy like it's wild Bro it's it is crazy And I will say in that regard good But again I still think That like It's all about like experience It's all about like you can have all that knowledge And you're not gonna be able to understand what to do

In those situations until you have You literally had you know Sex I'm not saying the amount of partners that's entirely dependent on the person But what I'm saying is like even when you're that young You don't have like it's like the Small percentage of people have enough experience To be like yo I can confidently say

That I know exactly what I like And I know how to find what the other person likes Yeah I don't even know the point we're making to be honest To be honest with you No point Literally I think we're saying the exact same thing But we just like to hear ourselves talk Well we have a podcast

We got a podcast baseman yard Patreon.com There is a number two brewing inside of me Yeah? Yeah If you stood up right now and just spread your cheeks Will it fall out What? Do me a favor

I'm not doing that I will be so pumped Listen listen listen Before you say no definitely no There's a bathroom right there In front of the door Stand over it And just

Just spread it real quick and see what happens If worse comes to worse it falls in the toilet I guarantee you won't do this Cause yeah Yeah no I'm not Like what do you think Why not? You're tricking me I'll close my eyes

I don't care it's not cause you're watching me Oh why? It's because I'm a sane human being Well just go and Rip apart his ass In hopes that a poop falls out I'm not hoping it does I think you are hoping I'm saying I don't think it will

I'm not saying it will You made up this whole thing I think it would be an incredible episode If you went in the bathroom And like I'm talking to you And you're over there and I'm just like yo how's it going And I'm like oh man I accidentally shit Yeah

That's your idea for a good time No No don't say that I think it would be funny for all the viewers Guys what do you think right? Shut the fuck up Shut the fuck up Oh

I'm not taking a shit right now How bad is it brewing right now Are you getting the rumbly tumbleys? Yeah a little rumbly tumbley Also I think we're in the eye in the storm as far as the actual It said it's going to be like coming down I've literally seen no rain For sure before you were looking at me though

As you can see What building? Do you still believe What rain at night is relaxing Or you like it? That's a reference to the Patreon What did I say? I hope it rains tonight

I love rain at night Something so stupid Let me ask you a question You take a shower Literally I had this argument yesterday You take a shower and then you get out of the shower And then you fart You get back in the shower

No What do you think it might It's air You're not fucking spewing out like smoke Yeah but I feel like it sticks to me Because I'm wet Like the smell That's why I get in the shower again

So you get back in You people that don't pay for water man You guys are great Yeah you don't pay for water Do I? No I pick on Ed That's electric I'm done

Once I'm out I'm out Anything could happen I could start bleeding out of every orifice And it's like you're just showered Bleeding out of every orifice That's beautiful Where can I find you? YouTube?

I'm not on YouTube FAlvors8085 on Twitter Because there's some douchebag that has the Frank Alvors And hasn't tweeted since 2012 The Frank Alvors on Instagram and Twitch If you want to come hang with me and play some video games And then go check out I am a competitor in the movie Cherry Shmo Down

YouTube.com The Shmo Down Just Google it and it's fucking great Please go watch and love and support And go check out the patreon patreon.com And you get an extra episode On Patreon every Friday

So yeah Me and Frankie just did a hot ones Are you playing with your tits? Not those nipples But yeah go follow me at JoeSanagato And go follow the show at the basement yard on TikTok And Instagram and that is all See you guys next time

Bye!