The Basement Yard - #309 - Getting Arrested On An Airplane

Episode Date: August 30, 2021

Frank & Joe discuss the recent arrests that have happening on airplanes and the unusual methods that the flight attendants are using. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I just sat on my phone my phone went in my asshole. Good. Welcome back to the basement yard. Did it vibrate? No, I mean Do you think that'd be cool? I was gonna do mine. I never mind. I never mind. I never mind. Did you hear it? Do you hear people are hacking butt plugs? Hacking yeah, welcome back to the basement yard. We aren't but plugs just like rubber. No, no, no, no They have but plugs that are like electric now the Bluetooth. We gotta listen to music into your ass. Thank God I remembered this I was watching John Oliver and they were talking about ransomware You know when people will be like your computer is hacked send us $500 and we'll give you your pictures of your fucking You know pussy. Yeah

There are like apparently they found like some sort of like way that they there's like electric but plugs and like you can Join like a social group for but plugs on the planet and like I'll be like the key master And I'll be like I control your butt plug a random stranger. Yeah, it's like y'all imagine like or like your significant other You know like those underwear, but it's like oh, I'm gonna wear this underwear and then you're gonna make me come at dinner You're gonna fuck can we take your chill have spaghetti the last place I want to come is at a fucking TGI Fridays, okay? Seriously like they're in there in the They're just in the restaurant. They're like It's like and the guys just over there on his app just fucking making her like he's like

Yeah, he's just like sitting there hitting a fucking button while you're trying to order some, you know endless appetizers By the way, I don't know about anyone else I'm very observant if anyone was in a restaurant with me and a woman's about to fucking ejaculate and a guy's over there Fingering his fucking phone. I'd know listen. You're not shady. I'm very good at spotting come faces. Yeah, you know Yeah, yeah, you always I've been very good And if I'm sitting down again TGI Friday my big TGI Fridays fan for some reason today and I look across and I see like Come face Yeah, you know like she's trying to eat her like if you're trying to eat your spaghetti you're going

You're you're straight with spaghetti. I'm straight with TGI Friday. I'm thinking like Jack Daniels burger like let me get Yeah, it's like thanks. Yeah Yeah, like yeah, the trouble is like that wouldn't be cool or horny for me Also, how electric are these fucking underwear that it's making women just like I shake out of their seats I think it's like it looks like underwear and like there's like a there's a hook. There's like a Is there a hook it's like a tampon looking hook Oh, okay, you know just like a heating pad and like it'll like keep it warm And then it'll every now and then just like put this is it you know

It's been warm. Yeah, I know and then it'll just fucking like because it's like the internal stuff is like horny But like the like on top like the topical Yeah, you know vibrace is what gets the girls going. Yeah, I mean right on top of this up Let the clitoris but so then apparently there's like these butt plugs where it's like you can connect it through an app To the internet and it could be like oh, we're all in like a butt plug group But like Joe is our master, you know how like people will be like oh like you're not fucking coming today Yeah, yeah, and like you'll like control like we can give you controls of the butt plug How do you know they're wearing it? Are you just like sometimes you're doing it?

I'm sure it's based off of like heat, you know, I think in hell like the internal temperature You know 98 you're you're coming up with a crisp 98.6. You know, it's on is it 98.6 back there Well, yeah, yeah rectal thermometer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so I always feel like my assholes way hotter than my mouth apparently there's Probably, you know, it just feels hotter back there. It's a hot area Like this is hot. Don't get me wrong like, you know, let me touch your mouth outside. I'm not gonna put my finger No, I don't want you to touch me. I'm not I don't want you to touch. I'm not putting my fingers in your mouth Well, it's you have nothing to compare to unless you're gonna touch my rim All right, put your hands in your mouth your own hands right now. I don't like doing that underneath and trouble feels warmer

I Mean, it's definitely hot. It's the stairs the bottom. Well, this is all scrunch together. This is hitting the wind. Yeah, exactly But yeah, so that apparently there's like they can like hold it for ransom. They could be like, yo, we're not unlocking your butt plug Until you send us a thousand dollars So now we're getting into multiple layers of fetishism. Isn't that cool? It's like that's like daddy Dom Bank account Dom bank account. What's that called? It's called like Financial whore or something. That's exactly what it is like daddy slut or something. Just keep going. You put the words together You eventually you hit it. Yeah, but it's like shit. It's like daddy

Daddy money Dom Daddy money down. I don't know That's gotta be it. So they want the money and they're like, then I'll vibrate your fucking ass But I think like maybe I'm worried about like if they like expand it to the point where it like can't come out You know, wait, it opens up this thing. Well, butt plugs like no, they don't open, bro Sometimes you could do butt plugs like um where you like pump it full of air and it fucking like increases like a pool float Yeah, you never seen that dude. I've never seen an actual actually I have seen a butt plug played with one in a santa gata studios video Yeah, and a tail and a tail and a tail. It did go check it out santa gata studios dot youtube

Would you be okay with that if if like your significant other was like, yo, I want to wear a tail in my ass Absolutely not. I would be probably okay with that Not when companies over I can't people are like, yo, is she a fox or what's going on? Well, I wouldn't like what are you gonna do with it? You stick a butt plug in and then you what you fucking gaze at it Like there's nothing cool about that. I think they just like the pressure back there. I don't I've had a finger in my ass for medical reasons Not fun. That's all Well, yeah, he's an old man. It's not sexual. He was an old Indian man Yeah, I would assume an old Indian man. They have cold hands. He told me he was Indian

So that's why I can make that assumption. Well, yeah I'm not being insensitive. You can tell by the the coldness of like I just like actually Indian men have a warmer hand than white men possibly white doctors Well, because you know like a darker pigmentation captures the skin better Captures the skin it's science, you know, they say like we're black in the sun and you're in big-time troubles Yeah, it's I assume it's the same thing with like a skin, you know pigmentation or something like that. Okay. Okay. Yeah, that's just science Yeah, I actually had an Indian doctor also. Did you yeah, he's the man my I don't go to him anymore. I honestly I don't go to doctors period

I probably should I uh, you know, I used to be a big Time asshole at the doctor when I was a kid We I need more Joey No, because like I would I would hate to get in throat culture is because a man I've said this numerous times like my gag reflex is pitiful. Yeah, it's literally pitiful I could think about touching the back of a throat culture like we just just say what it is like you're shoving a stick down my throat

Yeah, I mean throat culture just I think is actually pretty good The throat culture it's a throat fucking because I couldn't say that word my my um doctor He would you know, just kind of play around back there. I didn't mean like I think it was fucking with me Do you think there are any like porn stars that are just good with throat cultures? Yeah I think there's regular people like you just get like hold the conversation during a like a throat culture Yeah, also like I'm good through my nose though through my nose. You could fucking nail me in there. It's just it's just

Hold on. Yeah, my my nose reflex is like fine. I'm like covid test. I was like the times I got tested for covid though It was just like it tickled and I had a sneeze for like an hour. Yeah, it tickled and I was just like Yeah, but once you go through the mouth, dude, it's a wrap. So like I at one time when I was really young I like wouldn't let the doctors give me a throat culture and like I They just wanted to test if I had fucking strep throat or something And I had one doctor holding one arm Another nurse holding this one and then my feet and then there was another one holding my nose

So that I was forced open my mouth and I was holding my breath. It's like fuck. Oh, that sucks. Yeah Why were you so were you like afraid of the doctor? I just didn't like gagging because every time they And I was like, you know, so if I start gagging right now, will you start the gag? No, that doesn't make me gag unless I'm eating something disgusting then I it wouldn't help Just like we did in those patreon episodes or by Just one just one patreon episode. Yeah, patreon.com slash the basement yard. Go check it out now We did an episode that came out by the time you're seeing this it already came out where we tried some japanese snacks

Yeah, some of them Pretty good pretty good others really bad real not and we don't even know what they are So yeah, so we're we're inching toward 9500 to get over that again and then 10 000 We're gonna do something big for 10 000. We're not sure yet But we're gonna figure it out. Tell your friends every single previous episode that's on the patreon you get access to So if you can only subscribe for a month, you have 30 days to watch hundreds of episodes And you get every single weekly episode a week in advance. So check it out patreon.com slash the basement yard Yeah, also, uh, I got another dm. Well, I get these dms all the time. It's literally like

I would say it makes up 60% of my dm someone recently dm me and they were like hollywood joe won't won't answer my dm And I was like hollywood joe. Well, I've also been spending a lot less time on It's good. We all should well like I said last time like I've spent a lot more less time on instagram not because like I just I think it just sucks, but whatever um But I did get a dm from someone and I ended up seeing it and usually like I said 60% of my dms are people being like

This you and then it's a picture of just a white person. Yeah, I've had one of those and This one though was so funny because like a lot sometimes I'm like, okay I get why they would say it and like it's like a joke and it's funny now But some of them are literally just a white person who look not like I'm like, what are you talking about? They're trying to you know capture the the humor that is vanilla joe one of them That I just got recently. I assume is from a gay man um, and he goes this you And then it's a picture of a guy who looks

Literally nothing like me. The only thing that we have in common is that we are white and have facial hair Um, and he's wearing a hawaiian shirt. That's open Our stop where you are. Yep already a fan. Yeah, I know you are you know how I feel about hawaiians and uh, Then he's wearing no pants and just like tidy whitey underwear, but they're burgundy Okay, tidy burgundy. Yeah, and it looks like he's got a full chicken in his underwear Guy's packing away a whole month's work of meat. Dude. It looks like you took underwear and put your knee in it Like it's insane. I don't know if he's just got like this guy the fattest. No, I see fat nuts, dude I'm telling you it was I saw this and I was like that doesn't look like I would love

I would love to take Uh a survey Not self-report because always people will always self-report that they're bigger than they are But I feel like anytime you see a gay man in anything like like speedos Yeah, they've got big old things got fat junk And like I would say that the gay lgbtq plus community that have penises Have bigger ones than a straight man. Well, I mean who's to say I'm saying. Oh, here it is Oh, this guy also has like crazy chest hair and a mustache. I wish I could pull off chest hair and just a mustache

Dude, but Becca says you leave me. Look at that that's Dude his balls are Fighting in the underwear. Let me see those fucking How bro and those are heavy balls because those are tight undies. Yeah, they're tight But there's no match for this cock This is the best picture I've seen all week besides the fucking moose the moose dick that he has Dude, this is insane

I don't know like I will say if I had a dick that big I would take pictures like that But I don't Dude, it's crazy. What's happening downstairs right now. Like that's just like Oh, I got confused like I was like, what's going on downstairs. I mean that guy's downstairs. Yeah, I'm saying His basement is a party. Yeah, you know and we none of us got invited Guys got a heavy basement. I would say like if you if you had a big old big old rocket ship like that Would you take pictures? Would you take pictures like that? Dude? I don't have like thirst trap joe I don't have the body for a speedo

You know unless I get like Obese And you can do it like ironically. Yeah, then it's cool, but you can't be this like you gotta be like in shape You're in that middle ground. That's like not cool. You need to be you're like a fucking smoke show Yeah, because it's like yo either like if I'm wearing a speedo It's because I know I look good or because I know this is funny But when you're just like in between it's like do you think you look good or do you think you look funny because you don't look like either

You know who pulled off a speedo? Ahmed Ahmed pulled off a speedo pretty well. He was yeah, but he was yeah he was thin he was thin And a very he's shaved but like after a day it all came back and all it's all coming back to me now Something to get on this great song. It's a good song. Um, but I yeah, I'm where you are I'm like not fat enough to be in a speedo I'll put on short shorts that like are clearly too short I'll let the thigh hit the wind skies out thighs out for me. Yeah, I'm going full on thigh Yeah, I was just out of control though. I was terrified of that. That's kind of really impressive

I honestly like I'm so I'm going to miami tomorrow. Yeah, uh, and I thought about and I was like buying new bathing suits And I was like, should I break out a speedo just to be funny or whatever? But then I was like, I'm gonna really regret buying this I would never if I'm if I get to a point where I'm like, I'm gonna wear a speedo I don't give a fart what I look like. I better look like christiano Ronaldo. Honestly. No, there's better looking I mean, he's just like in phenomenal shape. Is he I would say like yeah Could all right, but see it's it's got to be a lean. He's lean bro muscular. Yes. Okay. That that is fine But like the rock in a speedo doesn't work

It could he would look too like Also, like it would he would lose it, you know, but gay dudes can pull it off like bulky gay dudes They wear speedos and I'm like, this is the strongest gay guy I've ever seen I don't there's a guy that I've seen on tiktok where I'm like, this dude's fucking just like strong really Yeah, and he's well, he's gay. Well, I didn't know I I was like a power lifter You know, I wish I remembered isn't it? I'm gonna get to a place With my body where I'm like cool wearing a speedo and I'll wear it on an episode of the show Maybe next year. You never know

damn Let those fucking nuts bang around The nuts would be a little uncomfortable. I might need to pack a little bit, you know Like just put like a sock in there or two Yeah, I gotta pack right now because not right now But after we record this because my flight's at 7 a.m Tomorrow. Yeah. Yikes. Where you flying out of? Lagois that sucks. I mean that

sucks It's okay. No lagois LaGuardia for those of you guys that don't know is rapidly becoming the worst Airport in new york. What do you mean? They're redoing it. They're redoing it, but getting into it is still a fucking nightmare Oh, I mean and it's it's everything is so short and compact. Do you remember when we flew down to? Um, I down me last time we went for dany's bachelor party. How fucking awful LaGuardia was no Yeah, it was miserable dude. I don't remember but you know, what are you gonna dope guys? Also, like I've been seeing these videos now and I'm worried that I'm gonna have a psycho on my flight

That's just gonna get duct taped to the chair Bro, can you please start drinking at like 4 30 in the morning so you could be that person? Uh, yeah, but those of you guys that don't know what we're talking about there have been videos of like Frat stars. Yeah, people are like, I'm not wearing a mask. It's just like well fuck those people Well, that's why they're getting taped. No, I think it's because they're just like being like drunk idiots Oh, I thought one was like, I'm not wearing a man. It was like this whole thing. Maybe it's possible Yeah, but then like the flight has to like detain the person and they just duct tape them to the chair very old school Very funny. Yeah very out of like an 80s

like Action thriller or like a richy rich kind of you know when they duct tape that guy and he has the doughnut He's like, yeah, like 20 or something. Yeah, he's like Trying to eat that shit. Yeah, I love that movie. That's a great movie that That mcdonald's in that place never looked so appealing. I was like, holy shit, dude. It's so crazy I want to be a rich kid so bad like a child like a child. Oh, you wanted to be rich No, it's like a billionaire his parents have his the riches are locked away behind the fucking uh Face of the what's that called?

Mount uh rushmore. Yeah, it was Mount Everest. I was like, what the fuck? Yeah Why the fuck would you live in north dakota idiots? No one that is rich lives in north dakota I mean probably but except but if they are they own north dakota Yeah, like there's nothing there that is like worth living or they have like an underground bunker and you know Yeah, yeah, yeah 100 percent. Yeah, uh, but yeah, these kids are just getting duct tape and I think it's so fucking funny That like that's what they refer to because don't they have like air marshals on all these flights? Oh, they have like a plane clothes officer. Yeah, like just someone that's just like, yeah

I'm flying, you know, I'm flying to uh, Atlanta to go see the good old Paul and chain and they're realistic like They're honestly just like just like fucking ready to yeah, like John Rambo. Yeah, don't they have like handcuffs or something? I know they do have handcuffs because there was one time we were going to Miami and Josh was like fucking around on a plane or doing something I forgot what he was doing But this was like before we even took off we're like on the tarmac and he's just like fucking around And the flight attendant comes over and she goes if you don't stop, we're gonna put you in handcuffs But she was fucking with him. Oh, and he was like I was just joking and she was like, ah, me too

And then she like walked away. So it was like funny. Everybody's such a pussy dude But then you don't know if she seriously had handcuffs. Yeah, I don't know I would say the handcuffs would be the smartest thing like but the duct tape is just where would you handcuff them to Just I mean those are tight seats put them in the middle seat between two air marshals and handcuff them Oh, I see to the seat Where are they going? They're getting up What if they got a piss Peer pants to your pants to your pants. What do you think they let people piss in jail? You know what I thought about the other day?

People have to you know Shit on planes. You think anyone's ever shit? Without a doubt. Yeah, what is that? I could tell you someone that almost has I'll tell you someone who almost has I'll tell you someone who Is a perennial? I have to piss so bad, sir. Please let me go to the bathroom. Oh really dude because I have the same ritual I get to the fucking uh airport airport I buy two big ass smart waters. The first one goes down in record time. Really? Yeah, I like to hydrate

I want to know why you do this Well, because there was one time that I flew to vegas and by the time I got there I was very I had a four-hour layover and I was very dehydrated and I had a crazy headache and like a layover in detroit chicago um, but I it wasn't long enough that I could like go out and see the city or anything, but like I was there and by the time I got to Vegas I was like dehydrated as fuck and I had a crazy headache and I was like dizzy I couldn't really walk so I had to stay in the first night that I was there

So from so now I just slam water and then I take another water bottle And I keep it on the plane and then I get peanut m&m's and then I get fruit snacks Or I'll get like a bar peanut m&m's are the best version of m&m's just want to make sure we all know that they're great Also pretzel m&m's not good. Not good caramel m&m's even worse really bad Even worse really disappointing and I love caramel probably the worst m&m big-time caramel guy over here Those m&m's they're like it like falls apart in your mouth. It's like brittle. It's like it's disgusting Um, but yeah, so I got peanut m&m's fruit snacks and then I get on the plane So like sometimes my bladder is like bro now now now now

And usually that happens you just gotta do the way I do it. I I can't tell you how many times I hope there are no cops watching this how many times I've pissed in while driving in the car You just figure it out. I can't piss on a plane. You can just get a bottle You gotta get a gatorade. Are you insane? Someone a big tip? Frankie I'm not worried about the size of the tip I'm worried about pissing on a public plane. And then that's like a sexual offense. Joey, listen to me First of all, that's indecent exposure. First of all, that's up in the air. There's no airtime laws up in the air Whatever happens definitely laws in the air about peeing about pissing in front of people

Just put a little blanket over your dick and like play it cool This is what I do when sometimes when I'm in the car and I need to like pee so I just like You know None of those hands are driving. I know I use my knees or I pull over And um or sometimes you hold the bottle with one hand And you use your thumb to point the tip into the bottle And you pee

And like gatorade bottles are good for it because big old wide open boy You pure leaf tea. I'm worried about Fluid ounces. I tend to take fat piss. I yeah, my peas are fat. You hear them sometimes Yeah, I need to pinch you need to pinch it off and just save it for the later Frankie I'm incapable of that. No, you could do it. No, I can't you do get a little bit on you because as you're shoving your dick back in There's like whatever's left. So it's like one in the chamber, you know, it like leaks out Frankie I can't you can stop a piss in the middle of a piss. Yeah I could do it for like

A second. There's a bottle of pee in my car right now, baby. Is there? Yeah Go get it I'll send you a picture. I don't want to see it. It's it's is it filled to the brim. It's pretty close I I actually cut it real close this morning. I like I stopped myself. I was like, oh shit because you got to remember it's the angle too It's not straight up like this your angle peeing like that. So it like fucking creeps toward you And uh, I almost got I almost got a big old mess in my car You pissed in the in a cup this morning bottle. What kind of bottle pure leaf tea

That's not a lot of this 12 ounces. I think it's okay I let out what I can and I hold the rest that I get here and just another fat boy. I don't even I don't I'd pee if you think they would figure out how to piss in a car Bro, don't get me started. Why don't we have toilet like like driver seats that are toilets some sort of like bag That I could pee in not even just that but like something that like I don't need to pull over Like like a like a catheter or something, you know and like put like a little bidet in there So like you got a Range Rover. You have a fridge in your car. Why can't they put some of the wipes your ass in there too? Yeah

Yeah, this is this is absurd. I actually had the opportunity to use this bidet and I didn't win when I was in the Hamptons They had one. Oh, I'm sure they'll have one in Miami. Aren't you going on a yacht? Yeah, if they don't have a bidet on a yacht get your money back Yeah, that's true. I gotta look into that. You should I'm just trying to spray this butt. I'm honestly afraid you should get you know, you can buy toilet seats that are bidets Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you should get one. I I don't know because I don't know if I'd like it Listen from someone that has done it quite a bit. Yeah, but I have a sensitive aim. So do I

You know I have a sensitive asshole But it it really really works like it's an extra level clean Like you know when you're like consistently like you're sitting on the toilet and you're just like no matter what happens I'm getting up and I'm dirty. I can sit here for an hour and I feel gross baby wipes or whatever It's like taking a fucking hose and like spray cleaning your ass I know because when you think about it, it makes the most sense because I forgot who was saying this But it's like if you got shit on your hand, you wouldn't just take paper and go Done. Yeah, you were like get water and like, you know what I'm saying? Mm-hmm

And when you think about it like that That's disgusting. If anything you're like rubbing it farther in you're like getting it in the crevices. Yeah, you're like mashing it You're mashing shit into the fucking like nooks and crannies of your asshole You're probably honestly getting some shit on your balls, too Balls. Yeah, you ever hit your balls on the way So you're wiping the wrong way. Um, is it you're wiping towards your balls? I don't know what I'm I I guess I go with the direction of the wind

The wind. Yeah, you're wiping down Yes I like do it with disgust too You know what I mean? No, I don't. Yeah. Yeah. So like you go No, no, no, you like I like And like throw it into the toilet one foul swoop one just You know what I'm talking about. Where are my fucking other people out there, huh?

The one wipe disgust throw disgust throw. Yeah, so like it's like this. It's literally it's like this So you take it you crumble up It's like you're trying to start a fire. Yeah, basically Oh, man, and it gets the job done. Well, do you only do one swoop? No, a couple Couple swoops and you ball it up. You don't like fold it like we're doing origami people that are folding something to wipe their ass Who's got time to fold fucking you might as well wipe your ass with gossamer you weirdo What is that? What is that gossamer? Is that a pokemon? No, well, I actually it might also be but it's like, um

It's like a fine fabric It's like a fancy person's fine fabric handkerchief. It's like that. But is it handkerchief or handkerchief? Um, you know, who cares The whites gossamer Is a fine filmy substance consisting of cobwebs spun by small spider. So you were off No, that's like expensive though Spider webs used to refer to something very light thin and insubstantial or delicate You don't know what gossamer is

You thought it was a fabric. It's like a cobwebs. I mean, it's it's a fabric Cobwebs cobwebs is a fabric. Just show me one person who isn't a witch who's wearing cobwebs Uh, there's a there's a store called gossamer Um person that's not a witch it but like anything like silk comes from the asshole of like a fucking caterpillar And that's a fabric. Is that true? Yeah, I don't know a silk spider or silk worm silk worm silk worm Let me be very clear. I don't know what silk is silk comes from a worm. I know what it feels like But I don't know what it's made of I'm pretty sure silk comes from a worm and then it's like that's why it's so expensive Because it's like hard to get from worms. Is there a worms shortage?

I I would you know what bullshit diamonds then being so much money. There's mad diamonds Yeah, but they're hard to get bro get diamonds silk is a natural protein fiber Which should be woven into textiles Yeah, it's produced by certain insect larva to form cocoons. Yeah, so we're just wearing fucking like Just like metapod cocoons on us It's kind of tight. It is right Because It's like a fabric it's like

It I mean technically if you consider silk a fabric then it's also a fabric Yeah, I walked through mad fucking cobwebs recently mad gossamer. No. Yeah, fucking in connecticut. Oh, yeah Yeah, I was just walking through cobwebs every five seconds. There are a lot of cobwebs over there A lot of spiders you see this thing on my head I think a spider bit my shit if a spider bit your head you'd be in you'd have a big fat problem on your hands Why? Because they like rot your skin No, they don't people get spider bites bro. There are certain spider bites that are like certain spider bites

You'll like lose your hand it like blows up and like turns brown and then like turns inside out I had a giant bump on my head and then it went down and now it's like this little bead Oh boy. Yeah, that might be a problem. No, no, we're on the other end of it. Have you Fuck if you become spider-man just please like Swing me around What would you swing me around? Yeah, cool. All right First of all, bro, if I was spider-man, right? Mm-hmm, and I had that ability gossamer

Let it go um Definitely wouldn't be like let's see if I can hang from a building You see you gotta get there. You got to work your way up Yeah, I mean it was like literally an afternoon that he figured out how to do it and was swinging from the empire Yes, hey, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like starting in this room. Make a little hammock figure it out Uh, but then like I will jump from building to building. I wouldn't even if I had that Ability I wouldn't even be like oh, I want to fight crime with this like I would just do dumbs

I would be like cassette cassette whatever the fuck. What was that? It's like Gotcha if you elongate that it's cassette. Oh, you slow it down. I think in the comics it's thwip thwip I can see that I think the thwip is better. Hmm. No, I'm saying like if I was spider-man First place I'm going is like under a bridge Because like I fall in the water. I could swim, you know I'd be okay. Oh to like get better at just like like that would be cool You know because like you're just like going under the bridge and like you know, you've never been under a bridge, you know

Not yet. Well, there you go. That's right You put your mind to it. I'm sure you can get there one day I've been under a bridge actually Where? Story of park. Yeah, but that's like the the beginning of the bridge Like you want to be under like the middle part of the cool part of the bridge. Oh like yeah, I guess You know, and then like you can like swing to the top of it and like swing Oh, man. I'm getting excited becoming spider-man

Never gonna happen. I would never you never know never say never maybe they could yo Do you think one day like modern technology would ever get to the point where we can create superheroes? I if it does I'm not getting created into being a superhero. Me neither. They're going for the big money like you. I'll be too old What by the time this comes around I'll be fucking like 80. Oh, you think it's gonna take that long What do you think we're gonna get it tomorrow? We're gonna get super humans. I don't know. I don't know whatever Um, I do have some ads. Let's hear them Let's let's get to the ads

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10 off your first month. Definitely go check them out Um Next year we have evive Okay Uh evive is cool, uh, because it's easy quick and it's delicious. It's a blender free Uh smoothing uh smoothie that it that provides plant-based proteins and nutrients To keep your motor running. Okay, so I I like to do something like this I know franky does like teas and he does juices and things like that. So this is right up both of our alleys

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Um, so go check it out. So manly bands.com slash basement 21% off of your manly band. All right, go get some sick bands folks boom That's it. I have a question really quick for you. Um, am I getting yelled at? Yeah a little bit I'm gonna set the scene you're gonna explain to me what the fuck happened Boxers Parasocks Crumbled up tissue at the base of your computer

Crumbled up tissue Oh, yes, just confirm That you were jerking off. No, no, no, I don't jerk off there. Where do you jerk off? Not on that computer on your your laptop that you use for that No, we don't we need to go mobile or you go mobile your mobile jerking it. So you're jerking it on the toilet No, what where you going then my bed Sometimes the couch Stop I sit on that couch. I don't jerk off onto my couch

But it doesn't matter your fucking asshole is out or do you pull your dick through your fucking ring? My ring do the little the hole No, I net it. What so what do you do you do that? I do it to pee. That's so dumb. That's what it's made for Yeah, really, that's what it's made for Okay So what why is what explain the boxers? Uh and the socks Because those are worn

What the boxers? Yeah, they are Um, I think I was just sitting there Because this room gets hot, you know that it does it does get very hot So sometimes when I'm out and then I have to come home And like do something real quick like upload something or check the blah blah blah I'll come in here And I'll sit there And do whatever I have to do and it's hot as fucking here. So I'll start sweating and be like I need to take a shower

And I'll just strip right there Just right there right there right there. Just strip right there And then you go right into the bathroom and shower. Yeah I've also done that like I'm like weird when it comes to showering like in my apartment It's like because I live alone. Yes. So whenever wherever I decide I'm gonna shower now clothes come off Oh, so like you're you don't care who's well, you're on the top floor at penthouse alone You're just getting naked wherever you are living room. I'll be like, well, you know What's crazy is that there are times I've come over the rfk bridge and I can see your place and I'm like, yo

If I had binoculars I could see in here clear as day probably and I would see I don't really I'm not careful in here You don't care. I mean, it's not that I don't care. I just don't think that like the chances of someone Seeing I think about that all the time too. Like I've walked you know how my house is I don't have Shades or anything on the front on the front door or the front window Yeah, but you don't like dick out in the living room There's some times I walk right dick out right into the kitchen and grab something come back. I don't care Nice. I don't care. I mean there's babies afoot

Yeah, she's do you think I'm walking around with my daughter just like hanging out. No, what about my house running around? It's at night. I don't do it during the day Taking a big risk. What if he gets a nightmare? I don't care. He's gonna have two nightmares. He's gonna have Two and a two and a half nightmare or one and a half nightmare. Well, yeah, not that big of a Not that big of a problem But speaking of nightmares. I actually there's there's a new development Uh in in our home possession

Oh demon time. Yeah, so the day that I told you about it because remember that was the day that that that demon time happened Yes, I went home Slept that night more demons. Uh, no, but Becca did wake me up at 2 a.m. Because she said she heard the doorbell ring The doorbell. Yes She's like I was in my sleep. I heard ding dong And I was like that might have just been in your sleep and she's like no go check And I checked no one there. Thankfully she said don't go out. She's like peek around. So I was like it fucking 2 a.m. Like have a sleep like Trying to find but then I realized someone someone that I don't remember

Sorry on instagram reminded me Do you remember what Becca brought home back in fucking january? Your child. Well, no, that was february. Okay That fucking little wooden doll That's right. She found it like on like a riverbank riverbank washed up on the shore It just fucking came from who knows where a devil child threw it into the water And since then we shortly thereafter moved into our place Ghosts demons

Actually, that's a pretty long ago. Do you think there's an actual connection? I mean, maybe it takes maybe they got to get comfortable Maybe they need to move in too. They need to get their stuff in there. You need to pack up their old place Like we're not haunting you guys anymore. Fine. We get it. Yeah, you know Uh, and then they're like, let's go to the new place. Do you still have do you know where it is this thing the demon? No, the fucking oh, it's it's on display in our living room. Oh, why did she do that? What a fucking weirdo. It's so funny that like it why did she be like, oh, I found a little doll I'm gonna bring this home. Like I found a carved doll from no idea

Washed up on the shore Let's just put it on display in my home. Also like for someone that's so fucking spiritual, babe That was stupid. Dumb Also, not only that but someone's gonna go. Oh, that's interesting. Where'd you get that and she's just gonna go found it That's and they're gonna go. Why the fuck did you put it in your house? listen I don't think I feel like we've gotten away from this idea too much because like now movies like make it like cool to Be a mummy and a monster, but like back in the day

Let's be clear. You find something you you either dig it up or it washes along the shore Leave it unless it's a note No, you don't want to read it. Don't want to read it because it's gonna be something sad like I died Yeah, just if you're reading this it's too late. I'm like, well, fuck that too late. I already read it I think if you read demon messages, then the demon lives in you I think that's how I think yeah, if you open the bottle. It's like pandora's bottle, you know, not the box Yeah, like it's pandora's bottle you open it then you see like the Yeah, you know like the spirit like screams out. Yeah, like screams and then it like goes into you

That's that's a harm. It needs a different host. That's a harm like for instance. I saw um My my friend sent it to me They found like a buried mask and they were like, oh cool. Let's take this out Guys dig a deeper hole and throw it in there put it back in there for them cover it in concrete That's what I'm saying. You don't want to why are we like unearthing this stuff and being like this is so cool You know what? I don't think is awesome You know when people make those like time capsules Hmm, what's like? Oh, we're gonna write a note and we're gonna put like a

Snickers bar and then close it and we're gonna drill it into the earth and like maybe someone will find it one day Why the why do you think I give a fuck? There's one that yeah, they do that all the time where they're like in 30 years We'll open this time. You know what you put in it. Yeah, and like it's the internet now You know, like you don't need to remember game boys. Everyone remembers game boys. Yeah, they're everywhere still Uh, but if you would put a time capsule like right now, what would you put in it? I guess like a phone not my phone Not my phone I don't know bro. Like I just would you write a letter to your future self

And say what I don't know. That's what I'm asking Well, I think that the idea of that kind of stuff happening is getting less and less appealing because You could just go back and look how fucking stupid you were like if you scroll far back enough on I saw an instagram post that I put up a while ago and the caption was like If you knew how bad I wanted it, then you would know it's only a matter of time And it was me just like facing a sunrise And I'm like, what a fucking idiot. What can you imagine that I wrote that? In a time capsule and then forgot about it and then

40 years later, I opened it and that was the thing I'd be like I would have fucking asked think about like this think about who you were at the age of 15 What would you put in a time capsule and then what would you open up and be like that was really dumb A smoke bomb Oh a fart bomb fart bomb four bombs. We got a tree deli get a couple fart bombs put those bad boys in there Yeah, big fat problem. I wonder if everyone had fart bombs

I had the glass one when I was in oh those were disgusting those those smelled like big time farts Yeah, those smell like and I uh, I remember I threw it on the ground in a park and two People that we knew at the time like threatened me like they were like gonna jump me because of how it smelled Who was it? uh dunbar and dais That's a combo. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's quite the combo. They were like, yo, it smells like shit. You want to fucking jump him?

And I was like I swear to god and I was like I was confused Also, didn't know I didn't know them that well at the time. So I was like, fuck. Am I gonna get my ass? Oh, so we all met each other kind of this is when he was known as boston nick Yeah I was like, am I gonna get beat up here? Oh man, I used to you know, I was obsessed with when I was younger first of all being a ninja Right, but also like not yet. Like ninjas had mad skills. Like I was I wanted to be good with a sword

um But one thing I was like obsessed with was when ninjas would just be like chilling or whatever and then all of a sudden They get outnumbered and they're kind of like oh damn And then they take that smoke bomb and they throw it on the ground and it's like disappear I wanted to learn how to do that so bad I will say that my favorite pyrotechnic was a smoke bomb. I am with you on that You lied it So like I don't know if anyone knows this but like so there's these smoke bombs that like let's say it's blue

It's a blue circle with a wick on it. You lied it and then once it gets here just starts going And it's like mad smoke There was one I I remember I I traveled. I mean they have them out there. I like traveled south Uh for the winter like a fucking duck like a bird I remember and then there was a store called south of the border It was like in like north carolina or south carolina or something like that And it was like a firework store and I bought smoke bombs But they were sticks and they were like this big and I remember at the lake house. I I lit it and threw it in the lake

yo A lot of smoke like A lot of even underwater. Well, it didn't go under water Oh, like lay it on the top and it was just like dude. It was a lot of smoke Was your dad pissed off my dad he didn't give a fuck. He was like, I used to do that when I was a kid I used to take it though and I would like do graffiti with it. Yes I remember that because if you get close enough to a wall like it would like paint it. Yeah. Yeah, so I was like, oh That was you. I never went spray paint. Joey was a big time graffiti and bubble letter boy

I never did graffiti. You were like, but you could write in that like graffiti. Oh, yeah, I could yeah I could do it at one point. I was like, yo, this is fire. This is my tag. Yeah I wish I remembered what it was your I remember you did joe mud No, I never did that. You did that was my screen name. Yeah, but you also called yourself joe mud Franky, I never called myself. You said hi. I'm joe mud Frankie. You're making this up. Look at you smirking Why the mud did they ever ask that? I I think I said it before but I was at my cousin's house and and They were we were making screen names for the first time and I was like, oh like Joe

Like joe dirt, but like joe mud That was my whole thinking you nailed that dude. I was fax de great 3000. We've talked about this Little columbian pimp fax 280 fax 280. There was also one that was an ill fated one that didn't last long killing kid Killing kid killing kid Because I was always killing it Oh, I was the kid that was always killing it right, you know, so it was well naturally k i l l en kid Oh kill in kill in kid 7 30. Yeah, I remember my sister's was little with d's

Oh, yes little sexy Little sexy spelled s e x c i i gotcha. So Also usher lyrics stayed in my bio Mine was I remember my bio People used to get mad at me because they couldn't read it. It was like Red background with little fucking lime green lettering and it was like You couldn't fucking read it and it was always like owned by You know taken by

Why did we do that? This is this is faux Uh, these are my peeps. Yeah peeps was a big peeps was a big one. Um Other ones, you know, like it was very stupid. I don't know why but like We used to do this thing on myspace Where I mean everyone did it but for people who didn't have myspace we used to do this thing where it's like People would own your pictures. Yeah Like it was just so random They'd be like, yo, who wants to own this and then people like y'all own it. It was really not us. It was girls

No, yeah, no one wanted to own my fucking picture. No, I I never really asked to be owned. No one cared for my pictures right like that never happened but like Girls would be like would have a caption at the end of it. It would be like, you know Poppy 9 110 owns this Yes, and you're like, who's this poppy 9 110 and why does he own that? Yeah, what what does that mean? What is I don't know is the rights to it? I know we recently spoke about this on on uh on a weekly episode But like boy, oh boy that those those myspace days were hot and heavy. They were interesting, man

I remember we used to comment back and forth like for like our football games like our rec football games It'd be like this is what we've been waiting for. Yeah, this is for deb marbles This is for deb marbles if you can go back and Give me three songs that you think encapsulated your myspace days. What would they be? Uh, they'd be all over the place one would be white tea, which just had an anniversary It was like 20 years ago. I think yep. No, I think it's 15 All right, so like 15 years ago them franchise them franchise boys white tea. No, no, no Dem dem franchise franchise boys. I also remember my first ever myspace song was uh boys in the hood

Boys in the hood That's a good song. Um, but then also it would be like um I uh over my head by the fray was like on my what song is that? Everyone knows That was your myspace song. Oh, yeah. Wow Yikes, you know why big yikes big yikes big time because tiggy It was hers and I was like oh and I had a huge fat crap crush on her

That a big fat crap crush on her that was her song so I put it as mine. I was like Big old crap crush. By the way, I don't know how what connection I was trying to make with that, but like It didn't work Well, I would say all right, so I would say Laffy taffy by d4l. Well, yeah, that was mine Uh something soldier boy probably I I was never a big soldier boy guy. I was never a big soldier boy guy Everyone had like the glasses with the name written on them. Yes. I didn't um I would say shake that laffy taffy. Duh. Yeah

King Doom like that still gets her love it. That song is fire. Um, I would say uh, and then what was my first song Damn that song is hard Clap Oh my god, and I would say toward the tail end. I was a big Viva La Vida fan cold These Hung hung hung hung Yeah, that's a fucking slap it does it does it does but those would be the three what was like your picture picture

Like what was like the picture you were known for I think I remember yours It was you and portobello with like a wife beater on you were like No, mine was a fire picture really like the best picture I've ever had in my life What was it? It was at same mics. We were playing soccer and chelsea. Oh, yeah That picture's hard where you're looking off like that. Yeah, chelsea edited that and I was like damn this shit is fucking Smoking that sounds like it's smoking. It is it was I remember that because she took pictures of all of us And she took one of me where I was going like this with the football didn't know what I was doing I don't know why I was doing that

Um, boy. Oh boy. I know we literally just spoke about this on the last episode But I need to try to get in to my uh, my old stuff. Can you do it a different time? I know I know I know Frankie. We're in the middle of something. I'm sorry, man I'm sorry. What do you think your past do you think your password is like something ridiculous? There was a point in time where my password was one letter, but one word Like with the spaces in between the words, so I guess that's not one word. It's multiple words. It was joey is gay No, it wasn't yeah, joey space is space gay space Space at the end. Oh, no, no space at the end. Okay

Yeah, and uh, let me ask you a question go ahead because I know you attempted to get into your myspace I got into my myspace with that password. I oh, no, I couldn't get in I saw my myspace though Oh, I'm saying did you try to use that password? Uh, no, maybe I should well, maybe someone's going to beat you to the punch. Oh, maybe Maybe that's okay. I don't think that would be the the password that I'd used at the time Yeah, but if it is yikes, yeah Incensey very incency. Yeah. Oh man But yeah, um, also one thing I wanted to talk about because I'm just like what's going on. Um, I saw

this thing online where Here it is A piece of prince charles and princess diana's decade old wedding cake was auctioned off to a royal fan for $2,000 That's older than a decade. I Is it? Yeah, wait, Diana died in 97. Oh decades decades. Okay. I was gonna say that's a weird way of telling time Decades old just say 30 years old. Yeah, just put a number to it, bitch You eating it. Are you fucking crazy? Would you? No, why not? It's a cake. That's decades old. Okay. It's all cooked Was

Now it has accumulated Bacteria It's all good for you. There's a lot of icing on it. It doesn't look like they have a picture of this cake They do let me see it It's very royal. It's got like a family crest on it. Like that's what I imagine a royal cake. Wait a sec. That's a piece of it No, that's that is the cake. That's an ugly fucking cake. Let me see that shit I'm sure it looked a lot better a fucking 30 years ago. Yeah, but but That looks like shit. Yo, if that was my cake, I would be pissed. It looks like the lannisters banner is on it

Yeah, who would I would have to eat a piece. I'm not eating that. I would have to No, and why do they have a piece like that big? Like that seems a little fishy to me. No, I also don't yeah Like why are we keeping the whole cake? Yeah, who kept that? It was like, yo, keep that cake for 30 years Where's this cake go off like there was someone that like went and they were like, yo, I got this cake I'm gonna bring it home and just like put it away and never eat it Maybe why what a weird thing. I don't know. I don't know this stuff is a very confusing joey people make things Stupid decisions all the time. Also when you're buying a cat $2,000 slice of cake

What are you gonna do with it? I mean there are collectors out there. You'd have to get like a refrigerated box for it, right? You got people come over like, oh See this that's a cake from the royal wedding 30 years ago. How do you know like that? There's gotta be I need a certificate of authenticity. I'm sure there's pictures and stuff Yeah, but it doesn't matter if they're pictures like they need to be like who baked it Can they confirm that they were the ones that baked it and all that stuff? You're not wrong, by the way

It doesn't look like the coolest cake ever bro if that was my cake Yo, there's a jewelry on it. That doesn't look royal enough to be a wedding like royal wedding cake Yeah, I'll see like some doilies on there. It's also not that big like you would figure they would have like a tower Yeah, why would they have like a small ass like fucking baskin robbins cake? Yeah, it just looks like a like a regular cake Something's not right here like a sweet 16 cake and then you weddings cakes that you would want No, really? I'd want to see like People who get those cakes that are like 15 layers. I'm like fuck off

Yeah, the big ass like tall cakes like that like those wedding cakes don't make sense to me I think there's a lot of traditions about weddings that are fucking dumb Go ahead All of them Okay, like what one engagement rings then wedding rings then a hundred thousand dollar party Well, it doesn't need to be a hundred thousand dollars forty thousand dollar party on average Okay, maybe You could do the lighter end like

Uh an insane fee for photographers That is correct. That is ridiculous, but I will say they earn that money Do you remember the photographer at my sister's wedding? Of course they were fucking running back and forth But I'm saying like all these things are just like what do we do it is it is stupid I to pay a hundred dollars per person that is a bit much all of it is realistically like the bar The bar is where they get hit the most. You know what I mean? Like they need to buy a lot The bar. Yeah, what do you mean? The open bar. Yeah, that's where like most of the price comes from from taking from someone that had a fucking wedding dude

Or try to have a wedding first of all I'm pretty sure a lot of venues do venue food. That's the bulk of it Yes, but what I'm saying is I'm a a lot of the times the reason that it's so high is because people want open bars And that's where a big portion of the price comes in. Let me just say this Usually I don't take a super hard stance on something But here it goes Weddings are open bar. Yeah, don't yeah, don't do cash bar If you think I'm showing up with a lot of cash for the bar your wedding

You're fucked up if you have a cash bar my gift to you is me drinking from that bar and having a good old grand old time Yeah, I'm gonna throw up on your dress. I yeah, you can't do I went to like events in college Where it was like, oh cash bar and it's like this sucks. Yeah, this sucks so much Don't do cash because then you don't tip anyone I would rather have an open bar than a wedding I would do honestly like keep the venue. We'll do it in a hut In a yurt Under a tent. What's a yurt? It's like a teepee

But there you could put stuff in it. Oh, is that where they like Take like ayahuasca or whatever it's called. Yeah, sometimes but usually they're high up so that like animals can't get to them because they're like freaking out Gotcha. Yeah, if you are inviting me to a uh wedding and there's not an open bar Just just know Give my invite to somebody else. Yeah, who am I? What am I supposed to do there? I'm supposed to what hang out with grandma Have fun sober. Yeah, doesn't happen put one foot in one foot out shake it all about and then fucking go eat shitty steak You think that's what I'm gonna sign up for no shot. Absolutely. No shot. I need 80 rum and coax In me. No, that's not the way to do it. Joey. You're fucking part of the problem here. Well, I don't drink open

Open bar is this you start if it's top shelf You have to get one of every type of drink. That's the rules of open bar Frankie and personally I start Extra dirty martini. You don't need to start there. What are you James Bond? You don't need to like it You don't extra dirty martini. You don't need to like it But you start there it sets the night because you're still in a classy mood where you're walking around and you're not fucking Bop-bop-bop-bop-bop, you know like you can just hold it and drink like that Then you can go something less aggressive, you know next, you know, you can go a fucking like You know a high a whiskey highball or something or you can go, you know

And then towards the end of the night when things are getting a bit of a big fat problem That's when you do beers. That's when you do your fucking long islands. That's when you do your margaritas on the rocks Let me tell you how most weddings go for me. Yeah The wedding starts Well before the wedding starts I have been drinking since yes That's the thing if you show up to an open bar wedding not drunk. You've already lost. Yeah I'll also like most of the weddings that I feel like I've gone to I've been like somehow a part of them and Usually we start drinking early. So I'm already pretty beard up

I get to this wedding They say I do I've sprint down the aisle ahead of the bride and groom and hit the bar cocktail Hour immediately drop two shots. This is what people don't realize cocktail hour is where it's the most dangerous Because that's where there's no rules. You can eat as much as you want as long as you want not really as long It's an hour sometimes longer But the bar is like that's destination one immediately two shots. Mm-hmm, right two shots of what? It's any tequila. Okay, whatever the fuck it is. Okay two shots of tequila bang bang chicken wang Then you grab a beer because you're like I need to take a fucking break here

Yeah, you reach a point where you're like You get two shots in you and you're like if I had a mixed drink right now And then I'm really gonna set a fucking crazy base So I'm gonna take it easy then you can't like a bud light and you take your time with that bud light Walk around you talk. Hey, you know and glad is sort of the fucking people. You know people. You don't even know Do you bring a flask? I To winter weddings. Yeah, cool go on

Because I have nowhere to put a flask if I'm not wearing a jacket But sometimes it's like cold so I like I'll put a flask in it I've gotten I've lost every jacket that I've worn to a wedding I've destroyed. I've also brought a flask to every single one as well I'll do it. Um, and then you know, I'll have a beer but then like at my brother's wedding. I started drinking beers I had like four beers on the way to the thing Or on the way to the church, I should say and then on the way out of the church probably another two beers

then we got to the place and I had a IPA because he had like a little boat with like IPAs in it had an IPA in them in Three fourths into that IPA a waitress walks around she goes. Oh you want a margarita and I go Oh Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was spitting her fellow. You asking me. Give me it. You should have hit her at that point Yeah, I just wanted to grab the plate like to you So I had that margarita and I was like Really good. I drank margaritas the rest of the night

You know what got me at a dominix wedding because I think that's the last wedding I've been to um Trying to remember I I I I'm pretty sure no I went to my friend's slides, but I didn't drink because I drove home um Dominix wedding, you know what got me cocktail hour? They had a sake station so Your boy thought he was fucking 18 years old in hayama hibachi Back in college sucking down

Saki like it was giving me money And let me tell you you don't realize it is just warm wine and it goes down Exactly like warm wine Delicious also I put like seven of those back and then I found the oysters and the shrimp and then like a six more And I started calling people by the wrong name. Yeah, that's what did it Or you start calling your aunts and uncles by their first name. That's what I don't fucked up Tony my eight step get over Tony. Where's lisa dad get over here you fat bitch You know what I mean? No, she's in good shape. I got other fat ants though. Oh my god

Um That's the way like if you so the you start with the you got to try a little bit of everything You need to I don't do this. You have to also people who go to weddings like I'll get a crown royal No, you have to get if it's top shelf you get top shelf I can't tell you how many times I've gotten fucking. Oh, let me get a glass of johnny blue. Let me get it Let me get a oh Jesus If it's there and it's on and they say they have it I'm getting it. Those are drinks that I like want to sip on and yeah, I'm not saying I throw it back

I sip on it. That's cocktail hour. How you doing? Frankie? I have one speed at weddings. It's go go go go Yeah, I know, you know, there's no like johnny johnny blue cool throw a lime in there I'm fucking slamming it. Okay, and then we're going to dance. Okay, right now as soon as you listen By the way, if there's a band Get out of my way Just get out of my way. I don't think I've ever been to a wedding with a band if there's a If there's a band at the wedding get out of my way I'm like a tornado really and I can't stop drinking either. Oh, I'm

As soon as I hear the first fucking line of dj got his phone in love again I'm there and I don't give a fuck Yeah, man, I'm like bro line up 400 tequila shots. I hate pitbull except for at weddings. Yeah, if I hear a single I am Put me to sleep then in there because I'm gonna kill a child. Yeah, honestly, if you don't have people at your wedding Fuck you Honestly, yeah, let's be honest with each other. Yeah, that's the way it is But yeah

Higher joey and I to be the fun people at your weddings. Yo, you know what I really want to do I really want to crash a wedding like bad. I tried years ago and got Removed from the venue wait where how when I was in college We would have formal like So like the fraternities and sororities would have formal which was basically just a school dance It's like a wedding. No, it was a party. Okay. I blacked out at one and actively woke up in a chair like Yeah, and like like Fucking I also woke up in a la quinta in it was just a wild time. I'm gonna pretend to know what that is

It's like a hotel chain. Perfect. Uh, but there was there was always any venue we went to there was always something going on a wedding going on next door Oh, okay, and I always tried to walk in and like go and party and got removed from the venue two times I feel like I could pull it off. I feel like we could pull it off We could because you're famous No, I can't because people would just be like who's this fucking fat piece of shit Just like sweaty with a with a With a dirty martini trying to come to our wedding. It's like that dirty martini. He's dirtier than the martini I'm telling you. I don't know when's the next time we're gonna be at a wedding together

If there's a wedding going on like another wedding going on at where we are We're going in no and joey will drop his name. He will name drop himself. He will not yes You will dude. I want to pretend to be a person like it was not me. I tried it won't work I did crash a party once like a frat party. Oh, how hard is that? It was surprisingly dude. We're a backwards hat and fucking that's it. I went in say saturday for the boys and you're it I went it was on a beach in in connecticut And I walked in the guy was like who the fuck are you? And I was like, oh i'm frank frankie. I called myself the time and they were like and who the fuck invited you and I was just like

Tommy I got it literally. I swear to god. They were like Fucking tommy. We got drinks in the fridge. Go get them and I walked to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of like canadian whiskey Canadian whiskey was what they had What the fuck? Yeah, and it was a fucking good time I want to go to like a real big wedding because then it's like harder to tell who's who I want to like you ever see like these stories like bill murray just like crashing parties I kind of want to do that one day. Yeah. Well, actually my cousin's wedding Someone crashed it because it was at one of those places

That um where there's like a bunch of weddings going on. Yeah, so this couple came and they were in there apparently and then they had like a photo booth so they took pictures In the photo booth and you can like leave a note so they left a note like uh, we crashed your wedding But it was awesome. I want to do that. I really want to do that but like From the times that i've seen people like that i've heard of other people crashing they get very hostile They're like who the fuck is that? I have them to fuck out. Yeah, I'll fuck them up. Yeah, like the dad of the brides like i'm gonna i'm gonna kill

It's like bro. First of all me my wedding my daughter gets married Come on in dude. If someone crashed my wedding I'd be like Unless unless they were like going crazy and like what if they don't be like i get the fuck out of here But if they were just like having fun and i'm like i'm like, wait, who are you and they're just like, oh, no, we just crash it I'd be like that's fucking hilarious. Like let's fucking rock. You're not you're not the fucking Majority here joey. You are very much so the minority. But why what's the big deal? I agree I do understand that like people like the venue could get upset

Because it's like you didn't pay for so many people and like someone came and like it was an extra person drinking One person who's gonna know what i'm saying is i i i'm with you I think it would be hilarious if someone's just like hey congratulations. Don't know you crash the wedding. I'd be like awesome Keep hanging out. Yeah I think it would only work in like gigantic weddings. Like i'm talking like 350 to 450 people Yeah, because you there's bound to be people you do not know Yeah, and like when you see someone you don't know you you're not gonna be like who the fuck is that like we should try and like

You'd be like, uh, just I assume that's a second cousin. I go to a small wedding It's like with my own family. That's like 70 people and there's people. I don't fucking know. Yeah, so I'd be like, oh, I assume that's someone's uncle or whatever also getting away with it when you're like also You were a college kid. So that's you know, whatever But now it's like, you know, we're like at an age where people were getting married and like, you know, whatever also If like an old dude crashes bro, i'm gonna turn 60 and crash Yeah, you can't say anything to old people because then like you feel bad if like you get angry with them But 100 the moment I turn 55. I'm finding a wedding and I'm just fucking going in guns blazing

Yeah, be like remember the basement yard when it got canceled in 2021 I was a co-host What's not gonna happen, right? No, all right, cool. Yeah Um, anyway, frank, where can they find you? Uh, hopefully at one of your guys's weddings Invite joey and I and we'll come and just just shit all over it If it's not too far, if you if you're like, yo, I'm getting married in brooklyn and we have nothing going on I swear to god, I will try to get us to show up Uh, but uh, at falvors 8085 on twitter the frank alver is on twitch and instagram

And then go check out the patreon patreon.com slash the basement yard Yeah, I just want to piggyback off that and if you do invite us and it's a cash bar. I will literally Burn it down. Um, don't invite us. Yeah What am I doing? Okay, go follow the basement yard on instagram and tiktok at the basement yard and uh, you know To reiterate the patreon patreon.com slash the basement yard You get every episode of the show a week in advance and you also get exclusive episodes every friday every week All right, so go check that out patreon.com slash the basement yard and that is all see you guys next time. Bye. Bye. Bye