The Basement Yard - #317 - Surviving The Real Life Squid Game

Episode Date: October 25, 2021

There's a real life squid game being held in Dubai because of course there is. Also, Joey shares some secrets he's read about Dubai. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. How's everyone doing? I'm doing okay. Am I in that house, everyone? Yeah, you, the people who are watching. The paper. What would you do if you said that and like you heard out of the mic like, I'm good. Mmm.

Feel freaky, right? Yeah, I don't want to talk about ghost shit. A little ghosty ghost in here. If I heard a ghost, I'd probably get the fuck out. Well, you don't hear ghosts, you like feel them. Bro, people hear ghosts. You feel ghosts. Like you're like,

Way more people. You get the sudden chill. Way more people. Way more people. Why is that? We are. You fucking Michael McDonald. And I said,

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I said, hey. Okay, keep going. What's going on? Those are all the words to the, We kind of, not the worst. Yeah.

We need to get back into the karaoke game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a canker sword, by the way. And it hurts. Let me see it. No, why not? Because I don't like opening my mouth to people. It's a thing.

Is that something you get? Well, you definitely get asked to do that. Or like, if I say like, Oh, and then like someone's like, Oh, let me see. I'm like, nah, bro. Bro, I don't know what is going on in my mouth. But like recently,

I've been biting my lips so hard. Mmm. Like, and like to the point where I'm like, This cheeks or lips? Lips. Jesus. Where I'm like, Yo, this is going to one day.

I'm just going to bite the whole thing off. That's good. No, it's not. It's quite scary. Yeah. What are we talking about? Canker source. Gotcha.

Wait, you told me to hold that thought because we were talking about Kim Kardashian. Well, we were. We were talking about Kim Kardashian. Kim Kardashian was just on. Kim Ka was just on. Newly single. Newly single Kim Kardashian.

Looking good as ever. Look guys, you all have a chance realistically. Technically. I mean, technically everyone has as much. I heard she was dating that guy from CNN, Van Jones. He's like a like an analyst or something. There was a rumor about that.

Oh, I don't know about that. I don't really keep my ear to the ground in terms of dating rumors. But I heard that one. No, I didn't hear that one. I don't know the reason she came up is because she hosted SNL. Mm hmm.

Pretty good job. I thought it was fucking great. I thought she did good. Did well actually. I think that she did like a lot better when she did that like Bachelorette sketch or whatever. I feel like every not everyone but like there was other people in that sketch.

I thought did worse than her. Yeah. Well, yeah, absolutely. I mean, she was pretty fluent in the way that she was delivering her lines. I mean, it was very, you know, like clear. I know what everyone knows

they read off a cue cards and SNL but like with her, it was really clear. Like the one I think that like really stood out the most was when they did that grown ass women in the club, you know, prerecorded sketch. Yeah. Which I thought was pretty funny. But like you could tell like she's like

and I'm here and I'm reading and rapping and like it was a little iffy there but everything else. I thought she fucking nailed it. Yeah. I mean, she's not an actor. I think she did a good job. She went for it in her opening monologue too. And I was saying I was like,

I think that especially after this, like knowing like she can take a joke obviously and she, you know, she could take the piss. She could take a piss off. She's taking the piss off it. Yeah. She's a lot more likable. Not to me, she's always been likable.

I've always thought that she was. Yeah. Well, I think to the general public, she's still going to be unlikable just because of who she is and there's really not much that you could do. Yeah. And also because of how she arguably

how she got famous. Well, not arguably pretty. I mean, she was, she was in the limelight in ways beforehand. She was Paris Hilton's like little baby. When people are like, Oh, you got famous off of sucking ass or whatever the fuck.

And you're like, yo, it's okay, bro. Listen to me right now. Ray Jake and double dick me. If it means I'm going to get what happened to Kim Kardashian. Money wise. I mean, I was like, Frank, I'm waiting.

I'm waiting. I'm waiting. What's the, where does this end? I'm pretty sure she probably had to go through some mental stuff, which I'm sorry. And I probably contributed to that. Probably had some bad things.

Probably. Definitely. But if it means getting there. Yeah. Fucking Ray J. What's up? What's up, dude? I'm about it.

Yeah. But whatever. I mean, listen, I always thought she was likable. Yeah. I don't, I don't see there's anything wrong. Like in the beginning,

she seemed very dull and like that I get that people immediately were just kind of like the show's stupid. She seems very dull. But yo, she hasn't been that way in like 10 years. Like, you know what I'm saying?

Like she, she's going to, she's trying to get wrongfully convicted individuals off of. Not trying to successfully have done it. Yeah. But like, she's continuously trying.

I think she's going to get her law degree. All right. She wants to take the bar. Good for her. I can't do that. I'm not even going to attempt that. You can't. I, you know,

I did attempt actually. I never tell you that. Only bar I've ever done one time I did his annex. How was that? It was, I mean, I slept on the flight. Oh,

Oh, it was a flight. That makes sense. Yeah. But it wasn't like a Saturday where I'm like, let's get bored of. I don't know. People barred up all the time. Oh,

I don't know. I bar up. I did it because anxiety. Well, you, you do struggle with the anxiety sometimes. So I guess that makes sense. Yeah.

You know, but no bars for this boy. All right. Only bar I do is good old story of Tavern. Oh yeah. Yeah. Which is, haven't done that in a while.

Got good peanuts. Very good peanuts. When you think about it, disgusting though. Well, yeah, I mean, just a communal peanut barrel.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wasn't good. But anyway, since we're speaking about a celebrity relationships,

I want to talk to you about our favorite celebrity couple. I don't know if you guys know this, not Megan trainer again. No, but Megan Fox. Oh, oh, machine gun Kelly.

I don't know if you guys have heard, but they're dating and also again, don't know if you guys have heard, but they're having sex. Oh man. Wow. They're fucking ground breakers. Let me tell you.

I don't know if you guys know this, but in like so many interviews, these people are talking about like, oh, we're having like devil sex. Yeah. They recently, I think we kind of briefly talked about this

and you were saying they said something about like, you know, during an interview, they were like, yo, you're not going to want to go to that Airbnb. We did sex there on that table. Stay away.

It's like, bro, you fucking did missionary game after a minute. You're fine. We get it. We get it. No one's really going to be that fucking impressed. So after that conversation that we had,

I saw this tiktok video and it was of a Megan Fox caption that she like recently has put up and I'm going to read it. A caption on her Instagram. This is a real thing that I'm reading. Oh, no, real. What's real?

Can I, what's the picture? Let me, it's just a picture of him and her just like hanging out. No, it's it was like a photo shoot for something. I don't know, but like nothing about the picture is like provocative or like,

you're like, she's not like eating a banana and he's licking a taco or something. Right. I assume this is sexual. No, they're just like holding each other. Okay. Look like vampires.

Okay. Weirdos. They do though. So this is what it says. Okay. The tale of two outcasts and star-crossed lovers caught in the throws of a torrid solar flare of a romance featuring time out. I haven't even literally scratched the surface yet.

Okay. All right. So there's that though. We got to break this up though. We got to break this up. The tale of two outcasts and star-crossed lovers caught in the throws of the torrid sort solar flare of a romance featuring. Dot dot co semi colon.

What's that thing to do that colon colon colon colon colon colon right in there. And then there's a list of things. Okay. Give me the first two. I'm going to give you the first one. Okay. Feverish obsession. Okay.

Guns. Well, hold on. Yeah. Wait a sec. I mean, not a surprise that machine gun Kelly is a gun guy. So their love consists of these things. Feverish obsession. Yeah.

Guns. The two essential things for love. Addiction. That's another problem. Shamans. Again, I'm not making this up. I, I, okay. Lots of blood.

Okay. Stop there. No, no, no. We're going to keep going. There's more. General mayhem. Bro, fuck these two, dude. Therapy.

Well, after the mayhem comes the therapy, you know, open the open the door. And there's the people. Yeah. Get the mayhem. There's therapy. Yeah. So it's general therapy. A general mayhem therapy.

Tantric night terrors. Right. Tantric night terrors. Binding rituals. Chakra sound baths. Psychedelic hallucinations. Organic smoothies. Well, you need to throw this.

That's how they, clearly that's their sustenance. And the last one. And the kind of sex that would make Lucifer clutch his rosary. Oh, wow. That's the caption. I thought it was a, I thought it was a made up thing that I saw. Boy, we needed, we need to talk. Let's just go over these.

Let's go. So let's start from the beginning. Teverish obsession. Well, hold on. First, two outcasts. I don't, I don't think so. I think you guys are very much in the cast. You're in casting.

Well, maybe MGK more than Megan Fox. You've been hot your whole life. Come on. Yeah. Megan Fox. Listen, you're not an outcast just because of make Michael Bay screamed at you four times. Yeah. A day, an hour.

He's a bad guy, apparently. But whatever. Tale of two outcasts, star cross lovers. I don't even really know what that means. I think, I think it's like the star was going one way. Another star was going another way. Where they cross are like, fuck, we love each other. Fair enough.

Caught in the throes of a torred solar flare of romance. Probably. That I don't know. That I don't really know. I don't. But it sounds beautiful. Okay. So feverish obsession.

I get it. Some people are really into their partner obsessed with each other. Nothing feverish is where the problem starts. You might need to go to the doctor. Not a good time to call anything that you're doing feverish, by the way. And then we go right to guns. Yeah. Hot, hot fucking, you know, they really bury the lead there.

Are they just like, they have guns in their relationship? It makes it sound like their obsession is with each other. Yeah. And then that feverish obsession bleeds into the gun. Bleeds into the guns. And then the guns bleed onto them, apparently. Yeah, because also lots of blood is in here. Lots of blood is on there.

We'll get to that. Whose guns? I think they're both probably licensed to carry. I know he's machine gun Kelly. Yeah. But nothing about him gives off the idea of like, this is a gun guy. I think close your eyes. Describe a gun guy.

I see a flannel. I see a dip in your lip. Uh-huh. Like a, you know, jean shorts. What kind of bumper sticker? I don't know. Don't tread on me. Or honk if you're horny.

Honk if you're horny. Fuck Biden. Right. And then the balls on the tailgate. Yeah, yeah. That you need to have. Or like a stuffed animal on the grill. Neither of them strike me as like a gun person.

Addiction. Well, yeah, we'll skip that. I hope it's to each other and not to substance. Dat. Well, yeah. Well, I know that he's had problems with drugs before in the past. But I don't know about her. Don't celebrate it.

Shamans. Are we getting shamans involved in this sex dungeon? So what exactly is a shaman? I think it's just a holy man who uses like plants. And like, don't they like chant? There's probably some chanting. There's some sort of. And floating.

I believe they can float or like hover. Well, that probably is in conjunction with the blood. The blood helps the shaman. The blood is next. And then the general mayhem, which like. Whose blood? Where's the blood coming from? I think it's both of their bloods.

You know, like, you know how they say like, man, you know, there are certain things you don't want to see because you know troubles are coming. You know, there's smoke, there's fire. If there's blood in any context. Big fat problem on its way. I would just say like blood would have been fine. Lots of blood makes me think that like.

It's purposeful. Or like, how much blood is a lot of blood? I feel like a lot of blood. Like if you go, yo, there was lots of blood on the scene. It's gonna be like, yo, there's a fucking. There's pints of blood. There's the dead person at least. Yeah, this is dangerous.

And then tantric night terrors. Dude, what, what even is that? I thought tantric was like, cool. I don't look up the word tantric. When I think of tantric, I think of a tantrum, which is like a boisterous, loud, annoying. Tantric sex or sexual yoga refers to a wide range of practices carried on in Hindu and Buddhist Tantra.

So what's a tantric night terror? It's a Buddhist night terror? It's a sexual dark like screaming night. That's, but a night terror, when I think of night terrors, I think like bad dreams that like force kids to scream. Yeah, yeah. I'm thinking of like people with like PTSD,

they have night terrors. Yes, exactly. And they wake up like fucking yelling and shit. Yeah. So I think this is like this sex equivalent where they probably like read a bunch of books and like take a potion and then they like go to sleep and have three.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, fuck me. I think that, is that what that is? I guess that's how she described it. Oh, fuck me. Yeah, no. So I think that's what that is. Binding rituals? That's gotta be more cause I hear binding and binding blood.

I think like they're like using some sort of restraint tourniquet. When I hear binding, I think of books. Maybe the binding ritual is like blood brothers. They cut their hands, shake hands. No, I think that's true. I think that literally is what it is. And then like that's what the blood and the shaman.

So this might be leaning one into another. There's ancient binding spells, but I don't want to click on this because I don't want to unlock a spirit. You don't want to unlock a spirit, but I can do one right now for you if you don't. No, no, no. Chakra sound baths. I mean, they sound comfortable.

I don't really even know what a chakra is. I know it's like in our bodies we have chakras or something. Well, I mean, the bath part sounds very appealing. A sound bath would be cool cause I would love to be in a bath and like you hear the vibration of sound like underneath the water. Um, you know? No, I don't know.

I think that would be cool. As a matter of fact. I also thought it was funny that organic smoothies just makes an appearance. It's like the devil's blood sex nipple fucking clamping like a cock torture kale and then like what? Like why is organic smoothies in there? It's not.

I honestly, they put it in there way too close to blood for comfort. I'm wondering cause blood would technically be organic. Right? Not farm raised. Free range, free range blood. I think so. So I kind of worry about why smoothies is in there.

Yeah. We don't know what kind of smoothies. And how do you turn that into something sexual? Like I've never thought of like smoothies as a sex food. Well, apparently these two are just fucking smoothing up on each other. What if they're, yeah, what if they're like drinking smoothies and just like tossing it

at each other during sex? Psychedelic hallucinations? Okay, you guys are doing some cool. You do some fucking shrooms. Yeah. Shrooms, fucking on shrooms. Ayahuasca, whatever. See that stuff is terrifying.

People get stuck in it. Bro, watch a documentary on it recently. Becca watched it, I was in the background and people were like, oh, they had a seizure. I was like, whoa, whoa, that's not good. And it was like, don't do this if that's what's the fucking what's happening from it. I've seen, I've like heard that people,

sometimes people do ayahuasca and you have to do it with someone who's like. A trained pro. Yeah. And they completely changes them. I am shocked you haven't done it yet. Bro, are you kidding me? I would never do that.

Like I would never do anything. Like I could never do shrooms. I could never do acid. Anything that would make me hallucinate. You're freaking out, yeah, yeah. I can't. I'm shocked because they like set it up as like a church in like, guess where?

Florida, where you, like that's like the religious exemption. It's like they can use drugs because ayahuasca is, it's fucking dark. Ayahuasca is like a category one or class one, whatever it's considered. And so like the religious exemption, they can like do drugs. And it's like white rich people do it all the time.

That's too scary for me. I couldn't do that. I would not do it. Yeah, I don't know about it. People are like, oh my God, you should, it was so awesome, the wall was melting. It was like, that doesn't, that's a tantric fucking nightmare terror.

What was it? Tantric night terrors. Charlie. Oh, he's scratching his face. Yeah, that's fine. All right. I thought he was going for the hot spot again. No, he's good.

Come here. All right, so what's the last one? The kind of sex that would make Lucifer clutch his rosary. I've never wanted the devil to be real so bad. Like just for Lucifer to read that and go, are you fucking nuts? Bro, listen, you guys are having sex. They're not like-

They're doing sex. I mean, maybe with the blood and the smoothies. That's where it might get a little fucked up. Definitely like they're fucking on a Ouija board. Yeah. I mean, the statement that they use is just an absolute oxymoron. The kind of sex that makes Lucifer grab his rosary beads.

Listen, I don't, I'm not a very religious man. I don't know a lot about Lucifer. I can guarantee he doesn't have rosary beads. I think that's the point, you fucking idiot. Oh, they got me. You fucking dumb bitch. Damn, they got me. We know he doesn't have rosary beads.

So like the thing is like, oh, I gotta pray. We fuck so weird that the devil's afraid of us. Yeah. That's not fucking true at all. You want to know how you defeat the devil? Fuck harder. Just fuck.

I fucked the devil out of him. Yeah. Why am I fucking guys in this shit? I do, I don't know. This is your story. This is like, this is those tantric night terrors coming out. I don't know.

Some chakra soundbaths. They've evolved to the point where they're annoying. Like, they were like- I just find it very corny. To me, this is the same thing as, you know, when guys post pictures of like $400 and they're like, yo, the grind don't stop. Like, this is just corny to me.

It's also- Because this isn't the first time. Like they have like this kind of shit. They made that comment about the Airbnb and then there was another thing that I just- Cause they just had this, that sucks. They had a photo shoot. It was like their first photo shoot

as a couple or whatever the fuck it was. And they like did an interview with them and they talked about fucking their sex life again. And it's like, guys, we get it. You have sex. Yeah, it's- You're vampires, dude. Everyone knows that person that like just tries

to relate to everyone through sex. Like I remember years ago, one of our buddies was dating a girl and like we would be like, oh, how are you doing? She's like, good, good, good. And we'd be like, oh, what's going on? She's like, I don't know. Maybe later we're gonna fuck.

I was like, yo, slow down. You know, like- Take it easy. I don't, and I know people are gonna say like, oh, double standard. I'm sure you like guys talk about jerking off. No. I'm sure you're like, no, I don't.

I don't want to hear anyone fucking barely. I don't even want to hear myself. I cover my own ears during sex. You don't like to hear stuff. I don't like to hear. Yeah. Yeah. You know?

But these two have just, it's kind of impressive how they've graduated to a place where they're just fucking annoying as shit. Yeah, I don't, I don't know. To me, it's just corny, bro. But moving on, the next thing we have to talk about, I feel like we have to talk about it. It's very topical right now.

Yeah. We have Squid Game. Did you finish it? I did. So I liked it. It was a good show. I think it's going to be, or it already is, the highest streaming show on Netflix.

Of all time. Of all time. Which is wild. There's been a lot of good shows that have come out on Netflix. This one is the fucking highest streaming one. It's kind of nuts. And for those who don't know-

Simple concept. It's just, it's, you know, it's- Like the Hunger Games. It's like the Hunger Games. So they take people who are in massive debt and they make them compete in these games for their lives, basically. Or to make them like a multi-billion, a millionaire.

They don't know that at the time. So like they don't tell- After the first game, they don't know. They just- I mean, going into the first game. Going into the first game, they're basically told, by the way, I guess, no, we won't spoil it. I mean, this is kind, I mean, people know

that this is what's happening. People know. Yeah, but like, it's like, they go in and it's like, yo, you can erase basically all your debt. You just need to win, be the last person to win after these six games. Yeah. And people are like, oh, I mean, okay.

Were they in for a rude awakening? So they find out that like, oh, if you get eliminated, you get fucking killed. Yeah. And that's like, whatever. Everyone knows that people are dying in the show, so we're not spoiling anything. But that's like, whatever.

And of course, my immediate thought is like, hey man, we just gave the rich elites of the world an idea. Yeah. So they're gonna do this. Don't say we, like you wouldn't be in that fucking, you wouldn't be there. Watching people kill themselves.

Running the squid game, Joe. You would be all about it, dude. No, I wouldn't. What do you mean? No, I wouldn't. Yeah, you wouldn't, you freak. Okay. You'd watch Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly

fuck each other with blood. And then you'd go to watch a squid game. Yeah. But so like the games, which I think is the cool part, they're like kid games, like that you would play on the fucking playground when you were a child. The American equipment,

cause it's in, it's shot in South Korea. It's a South. Not South Dakota. South Korea. I know that's where you were going. But it would be the equivalent of like hopscotch and fucking tag and shit. Yes.

So like tag, fucking. Those are the American games, but they have South Korean games that they played as kids that, you know. Well, they also have, I mean, starts off, everyone's seen it, red light, green light. Classic game. Classic game.

Classic game, not a classic result. Yeah. Not ideal. Getting ping-panged. Yeah. Are there any, if they were to do an American version, would you sign up with like no dying? Well, the reason why we're even talking about this is because in Dubai, like I said, the rich elites,

they're setting up their own squid game. It says UAE fans of Squid Game will get the chance to try the games seen on the hit Netflix show during an event organized by the Korean Culture Center in Abu Dhabi. But of course, without the incredible violence depicted on the series. The event is set for next Tuesday,

which will offer a selected group of people, which will offer a selected group of people for an opportunity to play the games in squid games, such as red light, green light, dalgona, candy challenge, and the marbles game. And there's going to be two game sessions with 15 people for each session. So 30 people are going to compete

in a real life squid game in Dubai, surrounded by people with tons of money. If you think this isn't going to go just a little bit sideways, you have another thing coming folks. Bro, that's the whole point is like in the show, it's like, yo, like you don't realize what you're signing up for.

Same thing here, dog. I mean, they do give them in the show, they give them the opportunity. They like one of the clauses in the contracts, like if you want to stop, you need the majority to say that they want to stop. Yeah. Well, don't give away them.

I'm not, I didn't say anything else. Let me talk about it. But like in this, boy, I wouldn't be surprised if the Dubaians, Dubaiers. That's a good question. Dubaiers? The people of Dubai. I wouldn't be surprised if they like full on are like,

we're going to kill you. Yeah. Or like, I don't know man, I've heard some stories about Dubai. Like what? You know what, I'm going to read an ad and then I'm going to get into that. You can't leave me on the edge like that.

Because I think that it's going to be a bigger conversation. Oh boy. Because I also have some evidence here. Because I heard some stuff. Okay. And then I want to keep talking Squid Game. So go read an ad. Well, yeah, it's about Squid Game. It's our friend.

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Again, meundies.com slash basement. So before you get into that story about Dubai, if there was an American version of it, because there will be eventually. I mean, let's be honest, like that's what happens when things get popular is that we fucking beat the dead horse into the ground. I'm going to name a couple of games that we played as kids

and you let me know if you would make it to the next round. Okay. Some of them are team games, remember? Okay. You ready? ASS. Hell yeah, that was nice. You were nice in ASS?

Yeah. You're not getting pegged? No moonies for Joey? No. Well, the pegging means different in this game. Yeah, we meant just getting hit with a handball. Not with two balls. Yeah.

I think I'd get past that one. Do you think you get past that one? It really depends on the group. All right, team game, kickball. I would be an asset to the team. It really depends on my team. All right, but like you think like you could carry the team? I don't think that I could carry a team.

Damn, you're dead then, dude. Well, I mean, that's not me. What if you get an old fuck? I mean, just a hole in the outfield, put them in right. Put them in right field. No one kicks them all the right field. No way. Or third base, where no one also, or catcher.

Catcher's actually a good spot too. Catcher's a good spot for kickball. Yeah, or pitcher. Pitch it. Yeah, dodgeball. See, that'd be scary, because you're probably throwing like spiky balls. Yeah, they're gonna be throwing like laser balls.

Yeah, laser balls. I don't know. Yeah, I think I'd do a right in a squid game. Also, I saw a video on the internet that like there's little kids in South Korea, like actually playing the red light green light game. And when one of them gets caught, the guy turns around and just goes, bang,

and the guy fakes like he got shot. That would not be cool in today's world. Yeah, my guys chill. And I said it on my story the other day, I'm so glad that this came out when I'm at the end of my fucking 20s here and not 11. Because when we were that age and like Jackass came out, it was like, yo, you know what's hilarious?

Throw yourself off your house. And we're like, okay. And we did that. Jump into a tree, like just stupid shit. Bush diving. Yeah, or like, yo, hit your friend with a garbage can. We're like, we're doing all this. We did all of that.

If I can imagine the squid game comes out and when I'm 11, I'll be like, yo, we should do this and then just beat the shit out of people who get eliminated. Bro, I often thank God that I'm not a kid in today's society because of how fucked up I would be with like TikTok and all that shit, that personal opinion. But all right, I have a couple more for you here.

A couple more for you here. Are you ready? Yeah. Yu-Gi-Oh. That's not an American game. I mean, we played it here. Would you make it if it was a squid game? You die, you're dead.

That's how it works. Frankie. These are horrible examples because it depends on the deck. Cougies. Now we're talking. Now we're talking. I was good at Cougies.

You were very good at Cougies. Shining was nasty at Cougies. Really? Was she doing like the Dixon Yee? Like. Yeah, like she was nasty. Damn. And she was like fast with it.

Really? Yeah. I was all right. I wasn't that good. I was like good, but then I would play her and she would smoke me. Well, yeah. Your sister was also very good at Guitar Hero.

Yeah. Very, very good. So random. I remember that. Two more. Nakahaki. You remember, we were the Nakahaki Kings, Joe. Yeah, but I don't know.

It was a small sample size of people were playing it. It was. I mean, you could only beat Alan Wang as so many times. I know. I know. And Damir. And Vigelli.

Vigelli, oh my God. What a throwback. Yeah, I think I do all right in Nakahaki. It's a violent game. You think you'd make it? I think so. Line soccer. Hell yeah.

Blast that ball. Dude, you need Dennis on your side. Everyone will fuck it. Line soccer was the dumbest game ever where like two people would go in the middle, play soccer and they'd have to get it into the goal. But the goal was behind a line of 40 kids. Yeah.

Impossible. They would just get out of the way though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they would. All right, well, I guess you do all right. But tell me about this Dubai thing. Yeah, so the Dubai thing, like I had heard through just like, you know, just being alive. Being a guy.

I mean, in the interwebs, that a lot of the rich people in Dubai, I remember I said this like a long time ago and I don't know if I said it to you or Danny, but I was like, I feel like at a certain point, if you have enough access to like women or to sex, eventually you get into some weird shit. To the point where I think that if you have enough sex as a straight guy, you eventually start venturing

into gay stuff. Once you, you know, you're chasing the dragon, you know. You're like, I need something new. You need something new? And then it becomes like women. Then it becomes three sums, then orgies. Then it's like, well, we're gonna have a motherfucker, a guy in the room and he's gonna fuck too.

Like, you know what I mean? Like some switching shit. Then it's like, oh, whatever. I'll slap on his ass. And then you're like, oh, whatever. I'll jerk it. I'll touch his balls and it's your jerk and then you suck. And then you get fucked.

I know exactly what you mean. There's a totem pole that eventually gets to the top and you know, you're just become fully, you know, you hit everything on the way up. Yeah, I mean, listen, that's a theme in the show Squid Game. And one of the things that I heard with these men, because a lot of rich, very wealthy men out there,

if you have enough money, you can pay for anything and people will do whatever. Literally. Are into like weird fetishes. Like most of which are shitting. Well, that one I'm not surprised by. Yeah, so there was a few years ago, so I'm reading this from this article,

but this is like true. I remember when this happened. A few years ago, a website named tag the sponsor decided to expose Instagram models and it didn't take long for it to be inundated with screenshots of these girls agreeing to do all sites of acts for money. All types of, all sorts of, sorry,

all sorts of acts for money. It features images and videos of hot young girls agreeing to do everything from. Oh, what? I don't wanna say it because I'm just gonna read the text messages because I don't want to give anything away. Okay, I'll guess. You won't.

Oh. You won't get it. Well, you never know. Go ahead. Well, I need to hear the text messages first. Oh no, the answer is in the text messages. Oh, okay. Bukaki.

Frankie, if they were only so lucky. Worse than Bukaki? Yeah. Butkaki. What's that? That's when poop flies in the face. Okay, no. Ready?

Yeah. This is the girl speaking. What are your fantasies? What kind of fetishism? Because if you want that. She's speaking to the Dubai guy. Yeah. Okay.

Because if you want that is why it will be very hard. And then she said, I can stand it, but as long as something bad does not happen to me. Fair. Okay, yeah. Like, you know, I'm down, but like don't kill me. Don't punch me. Don't punch me, don't kill me.

The guy just writes back, okay. Okay. Red flag emoji. Yeah. And then she goes, tell me what kind of fetishism and tell me exactly what you want me to put in the contract because they had the right contract here. You gotta be safe.

When you're dealing with these kind of acts. You wanna make sure no loopholes. And then you had your guesses, but cocky. Boo cocky. He said, we will do anal. Okay. Shit piss. All right.

And masturbate my camel. Stop. How much? And then she wrote back, you mean I have to do it with the camel? Like she has to jerk off a camel. She has to masturbate a camel. There was another screenshot,

but I didn't put it in here. How much? How much what? How much to jerk off a camel? I mean, we're talking about like probably, probably like $12,000, 12,000 euros. Which is like 13,000 US. Probably more, but like.

Bro, jerking off a camel? Also anal and shit piss. Well, yeah, that ain't, but that's more of a normal. Shit piss. Listen, shit piss is a lot, but in terms of like, if you were to say like, yo grossest fetish, you could think of shit piss. I was not going to jerking off a camel.

Jerking off a camel is, it was a tough guess. That was, I mean, there was no way I was going to get to, if I was getting to an animal, I wasn't getting a camel. You weren't going to get to camel, no. Let me see a camel dick. Let me see it. Let me see a camel penis.

I saw those eyes open up. It's surprisingly not big. Bro, I'll jerk that thing all day. Doesn't that look like raw ginger? It just looks like ginger. That looks like that spit that people do when they suck up back in their mouth after having skittles.

I'm sorry. What the hell is wrong with you? I'm so sorry. Actually, I'm seeing other dicks here that look a little. If that was the camel, that one that you pulled up, that's embarrassing for camels. Yeah, not a huge thing, but you know, they got a lot of camels out there.

They're probably doing some stuff to them. That's not the worst dick. No, and then there's another one. Oh man. And this one? Worse than camel dick. What, yep. Way worse.

Not worse, I mean, easier for you to do if you're the girl, but also worse than jerking off a camel. So you're getting fucked by a camel. No, this has nothing to do with a camel. No more camels? This is a different one. I was kind of excited about a camel. So new one.

The guy says, for how long? And what fetishes are you willing to fulfill? You are very beautiful. Nice. And she goes, thank you very much. She already ain't dead, ladies and gents. Yeah, well, it's not dead. She goes, thank you very much.

And I'm pretty open for a week. And then he says, are you okay with coprophilia and samaphilia? Samaphilia's gotta be fucking salmon. So she goes, what's that? And he goes, you don't have to, but if you are willing, I can pay extra. Coprophilia, I defecate on your chest area.

Okay, right back to shit piss. And salmon philias, you insert a live salmon up my rectum. Bro. Wow. God damn. I mean, talk about swimming upstream. Imagine, imagine having salmon in your fucking panic. Oh, salmon are not small.

Bro, imagine having a salmon in your ass. A salmon, having a fish in your, a fish ass. What was it? Who's that actor that put a fucking gerbil in his asshole apparently, Richard Geer? Richard Geer put a gerbil in his ass? I think that's the rumors that he was just shoving fucking rodents in his ass.

That's also a very popular thing. Like there's certain people that like having a gerbil in their ass because it like scratches their way out. No, no, why, why? I mean, I mean, why, why would you have a salmon in your ass? That would fucking hurt. Right, yeah. Well, shitting on chests and putting salmon's in their ass.

Bro, shitting on chest is fucking pennies compared to this other stuff. Yeah, a salmon going into your ass is a little much for me. I would like, what, oh, that's why it's the flopping. It's the flopping that they wanted to do because think about it, when you take a fish out of the water, what do they do? You know, they're flopping around on the deck.

Yo, salmon also, heavy. Well, how big? How are we talking about for a salmon? I just typed in, how much does a salmon weigh? Okay, average. I mean, they give me a bunch of different salmon, but the lightest one is, oh no, never mind. Adult salmon can weigh anywhere from three pounds

to over a hundred pounds. I mean, you better hope that, you know, they got some. You better have some strong legs. You're gonna put a fucking like 10 pound salmon in your ass. Bro, I mean. A three pound salmon? For any, anything. And like, they're not, like, even if they're small,

they're not like shaped to go into an ass. They're slick, but they might be slick, but those scales on the way back. Yeah, on the way out, dude. Big yikes. Yeah. Big time yikes. You'll be pooping out flakes. You'll be pooping out blood.

They'll fucking scratch you up. That's the least of your worries. No, that's a big worry. We're talking about salmonella in the fucking ass. In the bloodstream, baby. At least of your worries if you're fucking Megan Fox and MGK. Yeah. I don't want any blood coming out of me.

You know what? I hope they watch this episode. You guys think you're cool? Put salmon in your ass. Oh, you don't want to know what happened that make Lucifer. Lucifer's probably, he ain't in Dubai. Yeah. I'll tell you what.

He ain't in Dubai. He ain't going there. He's clutching his rosaries when he's over there. He's keeping out because people are shoving fucking full on, you know, surf and turf in their butt. Yeah. Dude. Jesus Christ. Yeah. I mean, listen.

MGK and Megan Fox, you guys are gonna have to shove a salmon in each other's ass for me to even take this seriously. I want to see a battle. You think your tantric night terrors are cool? Try shoving a salmon in your ass. You know what's going to happen now? We just put it out into existence. There's going to be a sex tape of Megan Schreiner fucking,

her husband, Megan Fox and MGK. And they're going to be dumping in the same room, but onto each other. And then it's going to be a whole fucking weird sex thing. I mean, that's a Dubai Christmas right there. That's what we, that's what Satan calls a Wednesday in Dubai. Because that's apparently happening all the time. Yeah. I've seen some crazy videos at Dubai.

They have so much money. They just fucking throw it everywhere or whatever. Let me ask you something. You let Megan Fox shit on your chest? No. Let Megan Schreiner shit on your chest? So if I said no to the previous question, what do you think my answer is to this one?

Maybe not. Because I would say that there's light years more of a chance that Megan Fox would, I would. What's, all right. The fish thing has really fucking thrown me for a loop here because like I've seen and held a fish out of water and they don't stop. So this is maybe-

They flop. This is a flopper. I will also say, not an easy procedure. You definitely have to have a steady hand. Someone who maybe is going to doctor school. Matt's trying to shove that into an ass, bro. He's fucking, that's, yo, hold it down. Yeah.

Yo, salmon are strong animals too. Like that's not like- Dude, they swim upstream. If you put a salmon into an ass, maybe you could swim your whole intestine Bro, this thing is fucking, this is wild. What other ones are there? Please tell me there's more.

No, there's not. I mean, I'm sorry. I gave you masturbating a camel and a salmon asshole. We're over the camel. The camel jerking off. That's easy stuff. That's fucking- And now that sounds like you're approved.

That's East, yeah. That's Easter. Can you imagine being the buddy that's just like, oh man, she came over. She jerked off my camel. The guy's like, oh, real cool, you fucking virgin. Wait till you hear what I had her do. By the way, I don't know where to be on this whole like,

how much money do you need for shoving a camel into someone's ass? Not as much as for jerking off a camel, I would assume. Did I say camel? I meant salmon. I would jerk off maybe 800 camels before I let someone put a salmon in my ass. No, no, no, no, no, no.

He's not asking to put a salmon in her ass. No, I know. He's asking to put a salmon in my ass. I know. Bro, I'll put a salmon in your ass any day. Oh, he wants the salmon, yeah. If you woke up tomorrow and you're like, yo, listen, I really, I need your help with something.

I need you to insert a salmon into my ass. I'd be like, yo, no problem, dude. Seriously. You would do it for the free. I'd do it because like that's what friends are for. For good times. I really don't think that. And bad times.

I don't think that's what it's for. I mean, but like I'm saying like, if you want me to jerk off a camel, that's gonna be more than me shoving a salmon in your ass. Because like, I'm not getting like, it's a story. You know what I mean? Like I'm not being like, my body's not being entered by the salmon.

It's just, I'm shoving it in somebody else. I don't, I've never handled a fish like that. Like what would be more? You to jerk me off or me to jerk you off? Oh, if one of us is getting jerked, it's gotta be me. I'm not saying what would you rather. Well, that's what I would rather. Okay, but listen to what I'm saying.

Which would I pay for? What would be the higher price? You to jerk me off or me to jerk you off? Obviously for me to jerk you off. Exactly. I'm getting something out of one of those things. Bingo. Yeah.

So like, if you're getting the pleasure, you shouldn't pay as much as if you watch the other person have to jerk off a camel. This is clear. I have children. They're gonna see this one day. And you know, you know, there's a guy out there that's making some poor girl for like $12,000,

anal, shit piss, and she's putting a salmon into a camel's ass. What other animals you think would be going into people's butts? This video is not making a dime off of you two. Single cent, not a single one. We didn't say. I wish I could make the title shoving salmon into my ass.

Just say shove a salmon in me. No. I think that'll be okay. You think it'll get pulled. You think that will be okay. I don't, you're Mr, you're King YouTube. I don't know how it works. I don't know either, bro.

I just sit here and collect my royalties. Yeah. Bro, that is so wild shoving salmon into ass. Listen, if and when, we might, you know, continuously update the story about Megan Fox and MGK. And if and when they get to the shoving salmon in each other part, it's gonna be a party over here at Santa Gato Studios.

Let me tell you, you know where else it's a party? Patreon, patreon.com slash the basement yard. You can get exclusive episodes every single Friday if you sign up for the appropriate tier. And if you want, if you sign up for that lower tier and you get these weekly episodes a week in advance. What does that mean? Oh, six days ago, there was someone that made a joke

and they've been in on the jokes. They've been tagging us on YouTube, tagging us on Instagram, tagging us on Twitter. You could be that person. Patreon.com slash the basement yard. Go do it. Sign up today, exclusive content. Like I said, and if we get to 10,000,

we're gonna have a little something for you. So please tell your friends. Let's get back up there. Yeah. Oh, wait. Oh, no. So someone's making good money here. I went back to the site.

Yeah. The girl who's jerking off the camel. She asked for 70,000 euros. What's that in US? I'll tell you right now. Give me that conversion rate and hold the one. It's a 81 grand. That's a good amount to jerk off the camel.

That's pretty good. That's a good going rate. Yeah. And then the other one who was shoving the salmon, the combo went on. I actually didn't see this. She goes, I've never heard of the salmon. No, that's new to me too.

I'm with you. And she goes, no, sorry, not the salmon. So she wasn't down to put the salmon in the ass. But she was, what was the other one? Oh, just shit. Just do the shit. She did get shit on. She's down, but not put a salmon in an ass.

Wait, is he shitting on her? Yes. Whoa. She's down for it to get shit on, but not to put the salmon in him. This girl's an idiot. Yeah, that's not how you negotiate. She's not how you negotiate at all.

And she, and the guy said 25K in total. Yeah, right. Dude, if someone's shitting on my chest, I'm not taking a penny under 50K. Also love this. She says, dang, that's tempting. Everything is negotiable. But she didn't spell negotiable, right?

She wrote negate, negate. I don't even know what the fuck she wrote. Gotcha. But then he wrote, up to you, want you to be comfortable. Bro, you're asking the shit on someone's chest and put a salmon in your ass. Ladies and gentlemen.

I want you to be comfortable. Who said Chevrolet's dead? I want you to be comfortable as you're shoving a salmon in my ass. I mean, that makes sense. I want to make sure like, if you're not comfortable, one slip of the finger that salmon is catching a fucking, you know,

a pocket or something up there. You better hope you don't got no diverticulitis because that thing will stay up there. Oof. You imagine getting a spare scale stuck in a pocket in your asshole? Bro, please stop talking. Because I can't even imagine something like that.

That's wild though, dude. Oh man. If you type in like, Dubai weird fetishes. Shitting fetish. No, shitting fetish, that's easy. People got that over here. You think I'm gonna just type in salmon? No, just type in weird Dubai sex fetishes.

Oh, oh my god, this is terrible. Oh no. Okay, I'm just gonna read this. Oh god, what if bad for you is worse for me? These guys are so rich, hate their wives and bored with life, they're willing to pay anything for their crazy sex fetishes and I was crazy enough to expect the money.

I've had to be gang banged in Bukake by over 20 Saudi royalty at once, made $40,000 in two days, so it was worth it. That's not worth it. Sorry, 40K in two days getting gang banged by fucking 20 princes? There's more. That's a million.

I've literally been pissed on and shit it on so many times, I just don't understand why they like it. After the third time you get shit on, you get used to it. Boy. Third time's the charm, baby. Yes. That fourth shit, you're like, easy money. That third year's like, all right, just keep it.

That first shit must be a nightmare though. Oh, well no, first one is probably bad. You know what's even worse? The tenth one? The second one where you think it's not ending. The tenth one? Then you break the ice on three. I've had to have sex with a male German shepherd dog

in front of them. That's a problem. Yeah, that's really gross. Because those are really, I like German shepherds. Why do you have to, let a fucking Chihuahua fuck them or something. Oh no, I've had to stick numerous objects in my ass and their asses as well.

Yeah, dog. That's fine. Of course. I've got paid to eat shit. I've got paid to get beat up. What the fuck? That's fucked up. I've even had to stick a live salmon

in some 65 year old man's ass. We're back to the salmon. Back at it. Yo, Dubai. Do they not have fish over there? Oh. Uh oh. Is there a picture?

Oh no. Is this real? Oh no. No, there's no picture. Oh. I've had sex with their 14 year old boys to make them men. I've drank cups of cum

and have smeared my face with their shit. It's become criminal with the boys. As it normally does. So to all you ladies that are going to bash me, hey man, not just ladies, everybody. Okay, I'm working to bash you too. I'm 24 years old and have $1 million liquid in my bank account.

I'm now retired and can have normal sex with whomever I want. Hey man, a million dollars? Where do you live that you can retire at 24? Sorry. I hate to break it to you unless you're living in the fucking sticks in Nebraska. Or Mexico.

You're gonna have to work. Yeah, $1 million like American in Mexico, maybe, but guys. Yeah, I don't know. That ain't 24 liquid. She said liquid. I don't know what that means. It means that she like cash.

Like it's not like in investments or anything. It's a million dollars. Oh man. I hate to break it to this person. I don't think she'll have normal sex ever again. How do you come back from that? Like, how do you, like you've seen, literally you've seen shit on your face.

Exit a penis, like no, she doesn't exit a penis. Exit a butt and just land on you. You have PTSD, post-traumatic shit disorder. Yeah, I just, this website still exists. The tag, the sponsor thing. Any other ones on there? There's like, you know, they expose these women who go on there and they kind of agree to,

you know, pick which hotel you like best in Dubai and tell me the name, then they pick one. And then, you know, they started talking on fucking, you know, whatever. Wait, what? Oh, never mind. He was flirting. I was confused.

I thought he was talking about it. Cause he was, she was like, okay, I'll, he guys is like, I like blondes. And she was like, okay, I'll make sure I'll be blonde before I see you. And he's like, you can go bald, deer. And he wrote deer as like the animal deer. Oh, okay.

Well, misspelled. I was like, okay, misspelled. And then she's like bald. No. And I was like, okay, what's going on? She's like, That is cute. Like, you know, I don't care what your face looks like

or your head. I want to see what's coming out of your butt. And then he's trying to set up a threesome. She was like, I'm not having it. And then he's like, I will not waste your time in mine. You coming off is proved. Bro. She's like, you don't have to be respectful.

Disrespectful. He's like, I am very respectful. She goes, well, I'm not a prostitute. You speak to me like that. You're an attractive guy. She's like, if I'm, and he said, if I'm paying $17,000 for each flight to see someone and give them 10,000 euros for a weekend,

I'd like to make things clear. Yo, good on this guy, honestly. Forward. And good for her. She's also being like, yeah, don't fuck with me. Like, don't talk to me like that. But she's pretending not to know what's going on here. Which is?

She goes, he goes, hi, hello. She goes, so am I going to see you soon? He said, no. Oh. She said, whatever then. And then he wrote, this is two days later. He wrote, only if you rim job me. That's easy.

And she's like, really? You would have to pay me more then. And she's like, be reasonable. How much? She said 5K. And he's like, on top of the 10K, she's like, yes. She goes, and he said, I don't fly you first class, business class.

What the fuck is going on? This is the site, man. A lot of stuff is happening out there. People are spending money. I need to go on the site. There's a lot on there, bro. That's kind of fucking evil, though, too. Yeah, you're like, well, good, I mean, listen.

The guy's like, I'm paying you money. I need you to at least pick up the salmon and pretend you're going to do it. I like to see a respectful exchange of fetishes, you know? Like, listen, I don't want to be rude here. I do want you to piss on my mouth, but besides that, I'm not going to be fucking shelling out too much.

I want you to be comfortable. Comfortable enough to piss all over my eyes. Oh my god, yeah. And good for her for being like, yo, listen, I'm not a whore. I'm just letting you shit on my chest. For money. For money. She's like, well, I'm not a prostitute.

I'm not a prostitute. I will just do anything that you want me to do sexually for money. For the right price. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Which, hey, do your thing. I have no quarrels with it, as long as it's not my daughter. I will say this, no problem with prostitution or sex work,

do your thing, but let's not pretend that you're not doing this. Yeah, I mean, listen, to each their own, I am all about it. She's like, whoa, I'm not a prostitute. And it's like, whoa, I think you're like, you are. You see the issue when you're avoiding it. Yeah. There's literally money and a fish on the table.

Listen, I am all about the movement. This is prostitution, man. All about the movement. Complete autonomy of taking control of your body and stuff like that. All about it. Just call it what it is. Yeah.

Just call it what it is. Sometimes you got to call a spade a spade. And then we'll say this. That's it. Complete autonomy. Do what you want with your body. Also, this should apply to the fish as well. Because now the salmon.

If there ever is a salmon shortage, I'm going to write a letter to the government and be like, check to buy. Check to buy and check it thoroughly. I will say. Cavity search to buy. Pete is out there throwing red paint on people's jackets. They're not looking where the fucking problem is.

It's in the assholes. It's in the assholes of Saudi princes. Of Saudi princes. Boy, oh boy. I mean, talk about turning a blind eye. They clearly are not following the fucking lead here. At all. Why not?

I don't know, man. Pete is like, listen, how dare you eat a steak? But what you shoving your ass is your business. That's not my business. What about the poor gerbils and salmon? Dude, there were so many animals. Probably not actually that's all. You think a salmon has died in an ass.

Poor fucking salmon, dude. That's so sad. What a way to go out. Those things are just like, the last breath was of an inside ass. Of a Saudi inside of a Saudi royalty ass. Regardless of whose ass it is, it shouldn't be anyone's last breath.

Just saying. If you're going to put this fucking thing out of its misery, at least kill it first. When they get a tuna out to sea, they slice it, drain it, then they fucking consume it. Yeah, there's no way that you could put a tuna in the ass. No, no, no, no. I'm not saying.

Way too good. I'm not saying do a tuna. But at least put this fucking poor salmon out of its misery before you fucking pack it in. I don't know how you get into that. What started that fetish? I guess. Just like watching it like a.

It's like, I like how that flops around. It's like a Nat Geo documentary. David Attenborough is talking about salmon. You're like, I like this in my ass. You see the bear catch it. And you're just like, wait a second. They have pretty bad deaths, man. They're swimming upstream.

They're very strong fish. And then you get killed out of the sky by a bear or you get shoved into a Saudi ass. Listen, those are two bad ways to go. Although I would rather die by bear. Well, bear animal than fucking the bear prince. Yeah, I personally would rather get eaten by a bear than shoved into an ass.

Without a doubt. Yeah. I mean, that's even if I survived the ass, I'd rather be dead by the bear. Because that's a cool way to go out. Imagine like at the fucking salmon funeral. They're just like, how did he go? Well, how much time you got?

You know what happened. Yeah, it's like fucking, that salmon gave his service. He was on that plate by noon. And then the other one just went in the wrong butthole. Yeah, it's such a, it's a, this is what I'm talking about. I feel like with so much access to something, you get desensitized to it to the point where you literally are grabbing fish out of a barrel.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Isn't that wild? I think it's just weird. That's just like human nature. And I hate to be this person, but I legitimately believe that like, listen, say what you want about the adult entertainment industry. Fine.

People make a living that way. I'm all about it. Good for you. But like, you have to imagine that it has created some sort of a fucking fucked up demographic. Like, bro, I was like 13 years old and being like, yo, when I have sex, this is what I'm gonna emulate. Where fucking people in porno's are throwing

their fucking leg behind their head and playing guitars and getting fucking double penetrated and shit. Playing guitars. You never know. This is that one. That's the one that you questioned. The shit that you've told me you've seen? Yeah, I'm talking about like weird sex stuff.

You're talking about instruments. I mean, I'm not saying the insurance's gone anywhere, but they're just getting fucking railed while they're, you know, a couple of courts. But like, it's created this world where like, people are always needing to be like, yo, I'll never live up to what I see in porn. Frank, I love how you're trying to make a legit point.

We're talking about someone asking, paying someone else to shove a salmon in their anal cav. Well, listen, they're cavernous ass. I don't always tell you what to do. But if you don't get a salmon butt person on OPL. Oh, that's a great idea. That is a good idea, man. What do you call it?

Samophilia? Sam, salmonophilia? Salmonophilia. It's not doing any fucking, any favors for theophilia named people in the world. Salmonphilia. What other philias are there? Duckphilia.

This website just came up. Dendrophilia, guess. Denters in the ass. Dentur? Dentur. Dentur. Dentur's in your ass? Dentrophilia, yeah.

No, this is the sexual attraction to trees. Having sex with a tree sounds logically challenging, but to say the least, but as New York sex therapist, Dr. William Picker explained, being aroused by a tree does not necessarily mean having sex with it, so you see trees and you get horned. I mean, hey, I mean, listen, I've seen some buttholes on trees.

I've seen fire fucking trees. There are some vagina-looking trees out there. Also some trees that look like they got like a fat butt. Yeah. Mucophilia? Getting turned on by mukbang? No, by sneezing. We actually talked to someone on OPL.

Oh, that sucks. I hate sneezing. Avicotomy? What? Avicotomy? That last word is, doesn't sound good. Yeah. Avicotomy.

Avicotomy, yeah. You sodomize fucking, I don't know, what? I don't know, what? Birds. Oh, I fucking hate birds. You never got to worry about me having that. Yes. I'd kill birds before I fuck them.

Jesus. Oculolinctus? That's what the eyes. Yeah. Yeah, like you're horny from my eyes. No, you're practicing eye licking. Oh, whatever. I mean licking the eyeball, a little weird, but.

A metaphilia is. Sexual attraction to a med. No, too. Vomit. Oh, that's worse. Mechanophilia, machines. Yeah, obviously, mechanics. Formicophilia.

Formica, isn't that like the old flooring that people would put in their house? Formica? Yeah. No, these are bugs. Ah, okay. That's all I have for now. But those are all real things.

So people are into what they're into, you know? I guess, man. If we have a name for it, there's a fucking community. 100% there's a community for it. It's great. I think it's great for them. I don't. I'll go, I'll be the person to say, I do not.

You know, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. You don't need to do it with animals. That's true. Peter, why are you not more upset about this? Why am I the only one that's outraged? Really need to get them on the horn. Just get fucking, God damn. Yeah.

You know, they're really missing the, they're dropping the ball here. Yeah, they're dropping the ball. People are wearing one lousy coat made of like 13 chinchillas. They're picking up the salmon and you're dropping the ball. Yeah.

Stop with the coats. They're never gonna stop being made. Go get the people that are fucking shoving these things in their asshole. Jesus. All right. I'm gonna end it right there with the salmon. What a place to end.

What a place to end. Where can they find you, Frank? FAlvore is 8085 on Twitter. The Frank Alvore is on Instagram and Twitch. And then make sure you go, like I said earlier, patreon.com, slash the basement yard, sign up today. You get weekly episodes a week in advance

and you get exclusive episodes every single Friday morning. Start your week with the basement yard and your week with the basement yard. What do you need in the middle of that week? That little hump day you got there, baby? Well, guess what? San Aguado Studios is back. By the time you're seeing this,

we have three, four videos up there making a glorious return to the YouTube. That's what we do, baby. So go check it out. San Aguado Studios on YouTube. Check out the videos. There's gonna be a lot more coming your way. Yes.

And you guys can follow me at Joe San Aguado and go follow the show at the basement yard on TikTok and Instagram. And that is all. See you guys next time. Are you hungry? Do you wanna eat some fish? Yeah, no.

I kind of hungry.