The Basement Yard - #320 - Becoming Island Boys
Episode Date: November 15, 2021Frank & Joe check in with the Island Boys to see if it's possible to become honorary Island Boys. The world is burning to the ground. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Transcript
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Welcome back to the basement yard. Okay Frank got a new haircut new feeling new personality
You look a lot younger confidence, babe. Do you new confidence? You got like a tiktok hair gone
I got tiktok hair kind of cute. I kind of like I think you look really cute. Thank you so much one
That was a two
Two yeah when I'm in the shower
My hair like fell like curl to the side and I was like, yo, I look like a like a fucking young JTT
Oh, no, I'm sorry. That's not your Justin Timberlake JTB ATL
It's just JT. Okay
also
You look cute
But let's not get ahead of her. No, I think I think yo honestly close your eyes
First of all, Justin Timberlake and Jason Momoa who you love to say you look like by the way people have been sending me shoutouts
apparently the real Jason Momoa is suffering from uh
He's contracted COVID. I'm doing okay though. People were like, yo, you contracted COVID. I was like, no, no, no, not me
Do the real Jason Momoa. So thank you for the well wishes everyone, but I'm okay
Uh, but yes, I do I do now shut the fuck now since I've shaved. I don't look like Jason Momoa
But there was a time where I was yeah
You know, no, there was
There wasn't a time a mahalo. Yeah, my man
I think you're confusing the rock and Jason momo. Nope. I'm definitely not. Absolutely. He's he's mahalo too
Oh, yeah, dude. He's all about it. He's all about I don't think he's worn closed-toe shoes in
15 years at least really. Yeah, that's beautiful
Well, no, I mean if you're into that kind of stuff, it depends
You know, you went to it. I had to know. Um, I had an interesting day yesterday
Um, what happened? Well, by the way another interesting you're wearing a hat inside
Like a winter hat. Yeah, you okay?
Yeah
You sure? Frank, you're wearing sketcher boots. That's for work, dude. Yeah, but you've been wearing them for years for work
Where the where do you work a child's factory in the 90s construction sites construction sites
Don't want me to wear them. No
You pay me more so I can quit my job
What do you what does that have to do with your shoes you choose to buy?
I need to wear these because if I have to go on a construction site for work
Let me ask you a question
Go ahead are all the construction men out there wearing sketches like it's the 90s
No, but these were boots that were purchased by my job when they said to me like, yo
We'll purchase the boots. Don't go fucking crazy. Like I was like, all right. I found like a fucking 80 pair
You know $80 pair of boots sketches you paid $80 for that
I didn't pay a goddamn. I wouldn't pay eight my job
Shelled out the money for me because that was nice, you know rob that job blind
No, I should have got like a pair like Tim's, you know and just like really been like crazy
Yeah, you get some butters
Well, what happened? Why was your day crazy? Um, no back to the basement yard, by the way, everyone. Welcome back. Welcome back
No, it wasn't crazy. It was just uh yesterday. I reconnected with my ex
who
My ex from
kindergarten to
5th grade janey. Oh
How was that? I feel like that's like a meeting of the minds. Yeah, we're getting back together. Oh, are you good for you, man
No, no for you. She's married. She is married. That's true. I wouldn't say good for you. I don't know also
Obviously that was a joke, but anyway, uh, no, she she hit me up
No, she hit me up. Um, and she said which is this is kind of crazy because she said like your lips used to be softer
Yeah
No, she hit me up and she was like I was going through old shit and I found some poems that
Uh, I go I got the same shit. She told me she was gonna send them to you. She sent me some too
yo
When I tell you that these and we had such a funny conversation too because I told her I was like the podcast knows who you are
Yeah, like she's she's she's pretty famous on this show. I was like, yeah, we talk about you all the time
Well, she's pretty famous on the show
She said that one time she saw a clip or something or maybe listen to a part of the podcast where we uh
We're talking about because we were talking about the three horsemen jane jay me and gillian
So, uh, three horse women. Yeah of our childhood. So she said she's like I forgot about who they were
She's like so my younger self was like
these bitches
She's like, wait a minute. There's someone else. She's still got it in there. She's still got it. She's so you know
The fire's there. The fire never burns out completely. I mean
The fire still burns, you know for young preview Bess and joey. I mean, I don't blame her
You're a cute kid big teeth
I had big teeth. You had big teeth
I guess so and she was also bigger than me. I think she was quite tall and she was fast
She was very fast. She was also
Real good at basketball. She was good at basketball. Dude. I remember she once like broke her arm or something
Some shit and you were like, yo, how'd she break her arm? I was like, oh, she dumped on someone in basketball
I do like believed it for a second
I don't remember that
You were like, yo, I was like, no, she's like fucking fell or some shit. So I want to read you
There's a poem here that's called my wishes and it's like I wish my oh man. Here we go again, joey. I wish I don't die
Literally, there's one. Oh, okay
I wish for my grandfather in heaven because he is special to me. That's not even like that doesn't make sense
What do you wish for? Yeah, I wish for everyone to have a better place to be
What honestly though, not a bad wish. I wish you were somewhere better
Are you content because I wish I wish she was just better for you
No one's
That is the best like little like backhanded compliment backhanded disc that like people it won't like register with them right away
Right, and then they walk down the block and they're like, wait a fucking second
I was just telling them how happy I was. It's just I wish more for you. Oh my god. You have kids and you're married
I wish better
All right, so the reason why I brought this up is because there's a different poem that I wrote here
Oh, it's not a poem. That's so weird. I have two poems too
Okay, I don't know if this is a poem as much as it is just like a little blurb that I wrote
Um, and I'll get to why it's very funny
but
It's called my grandfather. Okay. It says my grandfather was very special to me. He played with me all day
Can I ask a question? Nope. I'll get to it at the end. I think I know what you're gonna ask
And I'm gonna I'm gonna get to that
So I wrote my grandfather was very special to me. He played with me all day all day
He helped me with my homework. That was cute. This is why he is special
Pretty pretty basic. Okay after he died. I felt lonely
Damn now every day. I pray to him
Even though he is in heaven, he will always be in my heart. That's cute. I will never forget my grandfather. That's adorable, dude
So I wrote that right? Yeah, so she sent me that
One of the things that's funny about this is that there's little pictures
Yep of a man with a cane and one of them says two times two was four five times six is 30
And I was like, thank you and that's like a picture that I drew
Hey, man spot on then there's a picture of me of a stick figure standing over a box
With a another stick figure laying there with a cane and two x's in their eyes
You just drew this guy's dead. Yeah. Yeah with the cane. He went with the cane now
That's not even the funniest part. So the funniest part
About this whole thing
Which I had to I went to my mom's house early this morning just to have this conversation
My the my grandfather on my dad's side on my mom's side. I never met so he died before I was born
that that was
Good to be my first question right no, so he was I never never knew him didn't care
And now this grandfather that I'm talking about that, you know, was very special to me
He played with me all the day and you know when he died
He will always be in my heart. This is like, uh, when I was in maybe fourth or fifth grade. Yeah
My other grandfather didn't die until I was at high school
What the fuck who the fuck was I writing about?
I called my mom. I was like, when did grandpa sanagato die?
This is gonna be my question, bro. I was like, wait a fucking second, dude
I never but my grandpa also when he was alive lived in Maine. Yeah
He did you have never saw you shot a shotgun once with him and he came back down. You're like, I'm good, bro
I I saw my grandpa on like fucking Christmas
Easter
funeral
And I went up there one time
I remember when he went up there because you shot a shotgun. Yeah, and I was just gonna say I was gonna say
Hold on a sec as someone that yeah knows you and your family
I was like, who the fuck is he talking about grandpa? No grandpa and and I didn't I never met your dad's father
Yeah, something tells me if he is the father of your dad. He didn't know five times six
Probably not. Probably not. Yeah, maybe two times two five times six. That could be a tricky one
Yo, my grandfather was so fucking funny, dude. Was he? Yeah, oh my god. I remember there was one time that I was uh
Watching football someone got a hit or something he goes, oh guys paralyzed like dead serious. I'm like the fuck. No, he's fine
He's like on the ground like grabbing his knee obvious paralyzed job
Like he's just like fucking double tripling down, but I was reading this thing and I'm like
And I read it as she sent it to me. I'm like, oh my god
The reason why it was funny to me at first because I was like the other stuff too
I was talking about death and I was like and then I was explaining to her
I was like, I was writing about death in like middle school too. Like it was so weird and then I'm like, wait, what the fuck is this?
I was like, I never had a close relationship with my grandfather and like
That's just just just a big old lie
And you called me a liar as a kid. You fucking piece of shit
I did lie about my grandfather being dead, which I didn't lie technically. He did die years prior. Yeah, I mean that's a lie
Well, no, I wasn't a lie. That was the reason I didn't do a month's work of homework in sixth grade. Got it. Uh,
But I but I had no idea I asked my mom
I was like, I was like, am I crazy?
Like he died when I was in high school
I'm like, who could I be writing about the only grandparent that I had like a close relationship with was your grandmother
Your mom's mom my mom's mom. Yeah, I remember and like, you know, maybe she did this stuff with me
I mean, she wasn't fucking, you know, playing football with me. Yeah. Well, she couldn't she was very agile
No, she was an old old bag. So I I she sent me to
Uh poems as well. Yeah, and one of them is just okay. Did you write about a fake death also? No, I didn't no one no one
Fake dead and the only thing that I can possibly think of
is that
I did you ever have like a relationship with like someone you called grandpa or something? No
So that I don't know one in your life that like it was like pseudo grandpa. The only thing I can possibly think of is
If they like a sign to like write about this
Member of your family like someone got brother someone got mother and I got grandfather and I had nothing to write
What do I wrote that?
But that also just doesn't make sense to me because one of them was dead
So it's like fine whatever
But the other one was like very much alive and I could have wrote about him and just lied and not killed him
So like either way this is cut. I was like dead
Psycho, bro
Like to the point where like you drew him dead drew him dead
You were maybe you were mad if also a cane my grandfather never had a cane
Not once never had a cane
Maybe this is like just like a memory you've completely forgotten where like you were like cool with like an old man who used a cane
I hope not. I hope not. That sounds terrible. If you forgot it, it's for a reason
Yeah, burying something. So I wrote two poems. The second one is the real like party poem
The first one though, I might as well read so you can get a sense because we haven't gone through any of my poems yet
Okay, first one is my father
Buckle up. That's gonna be
Uh, and I don't know. I think this was supposed to be in like different lines because it's like
It's made like an idiot
Right how he works 24 hours a day comes home to sleep, huh?
That's how you started it. How you wonder why you weren't student of the month
How he works 24 hours a day comes home to sleep how the that doesn't even fucking make sense
The math doesn't add to it. He comes he works 24 hours a day and then comes like
What can't the way he says try try and try until you get it
listen
My dad's never been the very motivational one. No, and if he was he like stumbled into it by accident
You know, he'd be like, well guess what if you can't do it. Maybe don maybe do it and it's like, oh, okay, dad, you know
Um, most of all the way he combs his hair until it shines
I don't know. I don't think it didn't that didn't line up. I don't think that's how hair works
But don't forget if he is young or old, I'll still love him
I
Jesus Christ, and then I drew drew you dad. It's not good
Yo, that sucks
That looks like nothing. It was bad. The other one though
I had to just read that just to give you a census to work
As I can yeah, what my words can do 100% the other one
Give it to me, baby called courage
Oh my god, I cannot wait get please god
Uh, and I drew a picture of the sun
And someone throwing a baguette. Maybe I don't I don't a roll of sourdough
I'm not quite sure what that is. So littering is courage to you. I guess
Paul you I just litter all the time back in the day
All right courage
He helps me when I'm in trouble
Not bad. I get you know, that's when courage comes out
Tells me to go when my brothers need help
Huh, what is this a lassie situation? I guess so like what what what is courage going to do?
Is courage now an actual person? I guess you were just being like I think I think I'm talking about my dad here again
Oh, I thought you were being like metaphorical like courage. He comes to me. I think I maybe I'm not sure because then I go
He wears dark red
Why why does he wear that color? Wait, hold on
You just made up a man named courage. I guess so
He wears dark red
Tells me to go when my brothers need help. What was happening with my brothers that they needed my help? I don't know
They were okay
Maybe he will show me the right and wrong thing to do
It's nice
This last line
Boy buckle up
I don't know
Wherever I go, he needs to follow me
Not living outside of me
Inside of me
What the fuck you probably thought you crushed that
Nailed it dude courage is not living outside of me. This was a call for help
So you never someone tried to fuck me and I was trying to tell the school
There was a man in dark red and dark red fucking telling me to help my brothers and he's gonna fuck me
Help courage is inside of me. I think if you take like the last couple words, it's like trouble help red
red
Conspiracy theorists who just have a literally field day with that
This might have been like a fucking like a little way to like tell people like a
Cryptic like national treasure way to like tell them I'm in trouble because the last words of each line are trouble help red
do me
Do me
Oh shit
Trouble help red do me do me wait. Maybe that was part of the assignment
Because that was the last of yours. No, I need to end in trouble help
No, mine were uh, I I think I think the the sun is the trouble is the courage here
And I think that's me
and that's
That just like it looks like a pair of tits a manhole cover
Merit pair of tits with legs maybe
Boy, but when I read that I was like he is inside of me not living outside of me inside of me inside
Some people would be super into that
But yeah, Jamie said that to me too. I was like astonished because I I don't think I had seen a poem of mine since ever
Yeah, no, that's that's amazing. She really came through with that
We did miss it back in the day. We did well. Do you think right now?
If I give you a topic you think you can write a poem
Oh, maybe we should have a poem episode on patreon patreon.com
You're gonna ignite the fire that already is burning right now for people
Desperately asking for slam poetry. That's right. I forgot one day. It's gonna come you guys are gonna get it. I I
Forgot about those because that wasn't me. I didn't write those that was francisco, right francisco wrote those
Uh, I was merely a vessel right for him to express himself. Did I have a name?
Uh, I think it was just joe and then danie was daunte daunte. That's right
And uh, boy, oh boy, those videos are electric. Go check them out. If you haven't seen them, by the way, santa gata studios on youtube
There's new content up there, but also go check out the slam poetry videos people scream for those bad boys
Yeah, those are good
But also patreon patreon.com slash the basement yard sign up get every weekly episode like this one
You're watching a week in advance and every friday morning you get exclusive episodes
And not everyone gets the opportunity to see and they're fucking wild
We talked about a guy who was like, yo, fucking me coming me poop on me. Oh, yeah
No, there was the the latest patreon episode was um
a guy
who
Was the freakiest man in the world
That's what the episode is called and someone had reached out to me
Uh, who was a viewer of the show
And sent me this list that he had sent her of like these are my sexual fantasies
And we went we go through the entire thing kind of break down talk about it
And honestly some stuff it's freaky some stuff not that bad. I just sound like Jerry Seinfeld. That's freaky
That was really good. Oh my god. That was a really good Jerry Seinfeld. I'm the freaky last Jerry
Oh, I just hurt my neck. Stop your neck doing Kramer. Um, all right, uh, let me get to the two of these ads
We'll hop back in. Let's hope we're friends. We have a surprise for everyone and I have a surprise for you as well
Um, so it's coming. It's coming. It's coming. Um, okay
It's coming. It's coming
Okay
Yeah, my church iPhone pressure might be the best one I have. It's like the only one you have
fact, um, I love the biden one people really love the biden one
It's all right, it's still recording
We're good. We're good. We're good. I'm gonna do this whole, uh, better help sponsorship and biden's voice
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All right, so I'm very curious. Isn't this surprise? Yeah, so I have a surprise. Is it like physical? Is it like can you give it to me?
I haven't gotten a gift from you in years. So I'd like something is that true
No, you're wearing a gift
Yeah years
It's like two years ago in 2019
Yeah, maybe
No, I haven't got you something. Yeah. Yeah
Oh, that's true in 2020. You got me a two bottles of dump. That's true. That was really nice. Yeah, that was cool
That was I got a little drunk off that did you?
Um, so I have so what I did was obviously everyone knows, you know, right now
There's a big viral sensation right now. Obviously two viral sensations. Um the island boys. Oh
Yeah
I'm not gonna I'm not gonna do it. Yeah, I'm not gonna do it. You know, um, so
They're actually on cameo. So I reached out to them and got one for us
So I'm just gonna play it for you. Okay. I asked them. I said, hey, you know, what I wrote was like, hey, you know
It's frank and joe. Of course frank and joe. They know us. We know them and I was like, hey man
It's frank and joe de boys
Um, and then I asked them like, yo, what do we got to do to become an island boy? Okay, that's really I need to hear this
You know, so I asked them like, yo, well, you got to do to become an island boy
And also can you like tell me in the form of freestyle rap? Oh, all right, perfect
Yeah, so I'll play it for you. Yes, and then I'll send this to jasso. He could put it up on the screen
That'd be great. Are you gonna pause through there? We're just gonna listen through. We're just gonna listen through
It's 41 seconds. I need to see this. This is gonna be fucking the highlight of my day. Can you see? Oh boy, can I? Okay
I just want to say shout out to you man frank and joe as sort of become an island boy
man
You just got to be a part of the islands man
So wherever you're from like Jamaica example or or uh, you're cuban or let's give him a freestyle right now
I'll have to be freestyle boy. Why don't you become an island boy?
You the cleanest I'll hear them boy. You the freshest I'll hear them boy
Getting money I'll hear them boy. Most tatted I'll hear them boy
Keep on snapping I'll hear them boy by the bvbs is all boy
By the b really snapping little boy. We'll pull up on a jit little boy. We'll pull up in the rose rose rose
Yeah, it's you know, big mansion too. Yeah big crib island boys. Yeah
And I y'all yeah snap it like a
I
Hear them boy. What was that last part?
Snap it like a
Hi, oh man, I that was worth it. I am very very happy pretty sure I paid 150 dollars. I was gonna say how much was that?
I think it was like a hundred. Damn. I'm getting docked an hour aren't I? Yeah, big time. Yeah, let's just replay that
Oh, yeah, and I yeah, snap it like a
Like a mm. I mean when you're snapping like a mm. Well, you know, you need to if there's any way to snap it
It's like a mm. Yeah, can you all right? Let's go from the beginning. We need it. We need to talk about this
You go for the go from the beginning. Oh, you want to play it again back up back up. Why you want to like dissect it?
I I do of course I do. Okay. That's what that's what I just want to say shout out to you, man
Frank and Joe and so to become a first. Yeah, I think first I
Just want to say that Frank first. That's how I wrote it
idiot
You just got to be part of the islands man. So what we learned from this video by the way is that we can't be island boys
We're not island well technically long island long island queens
Is that long island queens is on if we're talking about it's on queens technically geographically
We are island boys. Manhattan's an island too, but we grew up in queens, which is an island
Yeah, but also
They're from florida, which is like yeah, they're not an island. Yeah, they're peninsula boys
Yeah, they're peninsula boys
Did they like happen to grow up in like the archipelago boys? Maybe yeah, maybe maybe like, you know
marshland boys
Yeah, definitely not island boys. Yeah, we're also I think we might be
Island boys
We are more island boys than they are island boys by the definition of that that they're given. Yes
I'm not gonna they want to identify as island boys good for them. Yeah, but the way that they're going about defining them
Yeah
We're more island boys. Yeah, then dame. Yeah, they're
You know, they're peninsula boys. They are peninsula boys. Which is cool, too
Listen, I do not judge. I I love peninsula boys again
if they
What was that one job? I loved peninsula boys peninsula boys peninsula peninsula boys penis boys penis, uh
Okay, uh, I
all I'm saying
Is by their definition
They just they just ousted themselves they out of themselves. They did they can call themselves island boys
But if they're saying like, yo, you need to be this to be an island boy
I guess they're the exception of the rule because there's always one or two. I guess. Yeah, uh, but they're twins, right?
Yeah, so they're one
They're one human just in two different bodies
No, that's what twins basically are. It's like the same dna
If they're identical, well, they do have some sort of same dna
Actually crazy. Can you do me a favor and just like lower that I can do it. Of course you go ahead and talk
I saw a video on the talk. All right, you're good
I saw a video on tiktok of a guy who had a twin brother
Who was a criminal and like stole a car or something and like we have your some of this dna matches your dna
And he's like, yeah, or twins. We have some matching dna. I didn't even know that was true
Well, identical twins have the same dna. Yeah, they were it's just uh fraternal twins have different dna
So like my brothers are fraternal twins
Do you know what do you know like the scientific like reasoning behind being identical and fraternal same cock?
You nailed it. Did I know no same looking face. They all come from no, it's like a scientific thing
Oh same chromosomes. No, no, no the fucking same, uh molecules. Am I again mitochondria? Keep going
That's the powerhouse of the cell baby chloroplast. That's definitely in plants. All right, uh, it's um
The what's the hab helmiostasis? What did you call me?
I've exhausted all scientific terms that I know that you know
The fraternal twins are two different eggs
And identical twins are one egg that split
Oh, damn. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So like that's why like only like same sex twins can be identical
Like you can't have like a boy and a girl that are identical twins
Gotcha, because they come from the same fucking egg word and shit like that. So I don't even know but
We are more island boys than they are island boys. Yeah, and I will say, you know, like
From from what I've seen I mean, I don't I don't really know these kids. I will say that they look
Like they got a lot going on
They've had a lot going on but they look like nice kids if I'm being honest. I hope they are I I don't know though
I wish I mean they did say, you know in there. They said like they're krippen
Did they krippen there? It sounded like they were saying they're krippen. Oh, well, and that's not good
I mean, I don't have a problem with the crips. I don't have a problem with them at large
Yeah, I know but like please like don't become a gang member. Well, it can lead to bad
It really depends what kind of
Gang bang what kind of banging you do the banging don't know bang bang
But like you could bang and like hang out with the boys. You want to go bang out later? You know what I mean?
Yeah, well, I'll mean that that works, you know, it's exactly it's the banging that defines the gang
So if you're going to be sitting there and you're going to be, you know, bang and like, you know
Clop, yeah, that's not a good bang. Yeah, gang bang in a fun way
Yeah, you know because like in college you were in a fraternity. It wasn't a fraternity like that was a white gang
There's like a there's like a fraternity where it's like, you know, we're going to go out and we're going to like, you know
Girls and pee on each other. Yeah finger our brothers. Yeah, whatever and then other fraternities are just like, you know
We're just going to recycle that's what we did and where like like and like wear the same shirt
A whole door is open for people wear ties and you know recycle. Yeah, it's like it's a it's a resume build
There are other ones out there that are like, yo bend over. I'm going to smack you with this fucking piece of wood
Yeah, yeah, yeah, not not me. So like I think you can gang bang in a very like, you know for the for the community
I mean religions are gangs, you know, think about like gang like, you know, the christian gang christian gang
Like if they want to go out there and do christian gang bang like that's cool if they want to be like, yo praise god
Careful
Praise god, but the bad christian gang bang
I think you've said enough
But we don't know what kind of gang bang in there doing yeah, there's always good
I mean, that's a metaphor for like everything in life. There's always going to be a good gang bang and a bad gang bang
There is someone that tweeted at me once like enough with disrespecting god. I was like
Wow
I almost let loose on this guy. You're gonna know what you do tell on me. Yeah
I gotta be careful because my my in-laws are you know, they're they they keep a good line of connection with god
So I don't want to disrespect them
But like this person almost got it on twitter. Well, you know
It is what it is. So
Do we know what they do? Are they rappers? Can I be honest with you? Yep
I don't I can't tell you the last like legitimate like rap artists that I've listened to that has come out past
2010
And i'm not saying there are no good ones, right? I'm not disrespecting
I know like, you know, people really love j. Cole Kendrick Lamar, you know, that was before that. Okay. I didn't know
but what i'm saying is like
That wasn't good
No, no, I mean, they're not well
I don't know that they have like rap music out like I don't really know if you look it up
They should make that song though. It would be a fucking hit. I could almost guarantee they had at least one song out
I'm sure they do but uh, you know, I just like it was all like, um
I lem boy. I'm a cc boy. I'm a deep deep boy. I'm a rose royce boy. They're rose royce boys
That's very nice. That's a good boy to be. I don't think that they have a rose royce though if they do that's an impressive boy
I mean, yeah, that's a big fucking boy. That's a that's a man. You don't have a rose royce. No, I do not
You won't have one anytime soon unless you want to how much is
I think a rose royce goes for like
Like 200 I would say at least 250 300 Jesus. I don't really really like rose royce. I don't like me either
I would say a bentley is cool though
I think a rose royce is cool if you have a driver, but like to drive that on your own
Yeah, it's like a maybach like who you don't like a point of a maybach is to sit in the back not in the front
Royce rolls
Rolls Royce cost
No, they're 300 dog. Yeah, 300. That sounds about right. Are they worth it though?
The 2021 rose royce ghost
Nice car. It's 300 and 312 thousand dollars. That's like the standard edition
I mean the inside is like you're in a spaceship. You know, like it looks super nice. Let me see. Let me see that
But these these two are rose royce boys
I mean that looks okay. And then you have like the stars
That looks cool, but like what's the difference between that and what you have right now? You know what I mean?
Uh, you would hope not 300 thousand dollars. Yeah. Well yours was only 200 000 psych
180 000 no bro
How much do you think
Range rovers are the one that you got. Yeah, it has a fridge in it, Joe
They all come standard now in fridges. It's not a fridge
It's like a mini like you put like two bottles of fucking water in it and what happens. Do they get cold? Yeah, they do. That's a fridge
Yeah, I know
I was like sandwiches in there. I actually think there's a white claw in there. Uh-oh. Yeah, yeah
Fucking snitching on yourself here, joey pull over. Joe sanagato easy dui. No, it's closed. It doesn't matter
State of new york is like closed containers if they're in anything insane, bro
I think the state of new york is like how was I think?
I'm pretty sure. Oh now he's getting confident this
The state of new york you need to have all open or not open you need to have closed containers in the trunk
You can't like have it like you can't like roll with like a fucking beer on your like
fucking
passenger seat
I've done that constantly. That's a problem. I actually have a bottle of wine in my car right now
I'm probably gonna get rid of why you trying to slam some no, I got it as a wedding
Like it was a favor. It was a bottle of wine
Oh, that's a good wedding favor, by the way
People will give out little bags at weddings to have like a fucking candied peanut on it. I'm like the fuck is this?
So that is your wedding. That's funny. You give no no no my wedding was um
I think our favor was gonna be we were gonna have I don't think we're gonna have any favors actually
Thanks a lot. Well, no
Yeah, to go complain. You've got a fucking cigar box that you haven't touched
Uh, don't think I didn't know I saw it in there. You son of a bitch. First of all, I know where it is
Yeah, second of all one's last time I smoke a cigar
You tell me
Yeah, I don't I don't even know exactly
Uh, but at the wedding the bottle of wine was like one of the favors and it was a nice bottle bottle of josh
Oh, I like josh cabsav. Yeah, um, but
the other one was like a doily like
Hand stitched like wedding dress like
Jordan almond holder literally like this
I will say Jordan almonds are delicious. Dude. That's what it is people give away almonds. I'm like, uh, what are we birds candy almonds?
I think it's like a like it's it's like a traditional thing. Dude tradition
sucks. I know I just recently did uh, I know
Because my my first wedding anniversary just passed. So I did the whole um, uh, like wedding anniversary gift by the year
Oh, how does it start? So first they're like rubber. There's like two. No leather
I think that is one year, but not not first year. There's like two lists
There's like a traditional and the modern the modern the first year was clocks. So if I could got me a clock
It's kind of I like that. I think it's cute
sick
What kind of clock it's a clock. Yeah, that could mean anything
It's not like we don't want to go like like a digital clock or like an analog
Just a clock. Okay, and mine was paper
So like you have to get something paper so like you can get like whatever you can find that's paper
New York Times
Uh, I got I got what I think is pretty cool. I got our wedding song
Printed and made into roses. It's a bouquet of roses with our it's like the lyrics to our wedding song. Damn. That's dope. Fucking fire, right?
How much is that? Not that expensive
250 bucks
No, no, no, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Okay
Okay, no
$300,000 but yeah, like oh, there's like one it's like 61 years. It's diamond
Bro, can you if I live to be fucking? What would you be 87 88 and she's still alive
Obviously you already assumed that you're not living her. No, I I don't think I'm making it to 88. Yeah, I don't but if I do
I don't know if I make it to 88. Just know that every day that I wake up. I'm gonna be laughing my ass off
I'm just like
I'm gonna be like honestly after I'd say no joke after 80. I'm like
I I won't care like, you know when you look at old people and you're like, yo, they don't just give
They just don't give a fuck. Yeah, that's how I'll be. I'll be like, yo, fuck you
You know, I might get racist. You never know. Just just just to just to be old. Oh my god. What I would probably pick up some
Some like horrible habit at that time. Oh, yeah, probably also. Yeah, I won't be racist
But you know, just like pick up like a cool little hobby or something bro 88
Definitely, what are they gonna say? What are they gonna do? What what's gonna happen? We're gonna do beat me up
I'm trying to die at that point. You're doing me a favor if you don't black my eye
Yeah, fucking throw me down a flight of stairs
Make it quicker. Whatever, you know, maybe you should be gay
Maybe I will. Yeah, I'll be gay and I'll fucking do all the drugs
Yeah
Maybe yeah
I'll fucking blow coke
and blow
guy's name Jordan
That's a hot name kind of good name. Yeah, it sounds like a baseball player's name
Or yeah, I would say yo, I'm attracted to baseball players, by the way. Are you the uniform?
It's the butt, isn't it? It's not the butts. Give me like your three hottest baseball players. Three two one go
Oh, they're not like famous players. Oh, I was like, I already had them seen pictures. I already had them teed up
Oh, who I was gonna go, um, marco scudero
um
What?
You don't think so. I mean, I don't really know what marco scudero looks like. Okay
um
Mike trout. That's a good-looking guy. Not my time. You don't think so. Oh, okay
I'd rather uh stand at that point. Alex Bragman
That's a good-looking dude. I hate him. I hate him dude. I hate his guts, dude
I'll tell you who I'm not attracted to. Jose Altuve. Yeah, I'll kill him
I swear to god. You ever look at a professional. You know, it's funny. I could fucking kill you
You know, it's funny
So like, you know how like, I mean, I don't know how connected you are to the internet and trends or whatever
But like, you know how it's like a thing with like women who are like, oh if you're under six foot
Like I'm gonna call you friend. You think I'm disconnected to the point where I don't fucking know that?
I don't know, bro. Okay, like these trends that come in and out. They're like tick tock
We live on the internet. Our life is the internet. I know, but you don't like do the tick tock thing
I don't have tick tock. You are correct. But Becca probably keeps you up to date. She does. Um, so
Yeah, so it's like that whole thing like six foot and under whatever and like there's always these dudes that are like
510 being like, yo, I'm not right now
There's actually a really funny thing that I really enjoy
It's these girls going to random guys instagram lives and being like, yes, we love a short king
And then dudes like losing it
Like bro, I'm not short. I'm like, I mean, I'm five nine, but like that's not short bro people like I think
People legit think that you and I are like five foot five and five foot four. Yeah, like they're like, yo, these two are fucking tiny
And you know what?
Let them think I don't even care. Like I don't really care. Yeah. I mean like what are you gonna do hurt my feelings?
Those things are so funny to me because dude's just being like, bro. I'm not short
Like um and then like that just makes it worse, bro
Like it's it's one thing to be short, but it's also to be short and like bitter. Yeah. Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah, I mean if you're actually short, you're funny and able to be manipulated into like defending yourself
It's funny. Like you you've got to become like self-deprecating if you're actually short
so
you know, obviously, you know
my actual opinion is like
Girls who say stuff like that like oh if you're under six foot i'm a coey friend
Oh, I won't even look at you whatever like obviously that's like dumb, but
But it's it is funny that if I go into my gay persona
I'm like, ew. I'll say out to face. Yeah, that's short. That's short
It's like, hey, I'm not into him. I think I think and I see that's what's
I I don't know. I don't have first degree or firsthand knowledge
But I would assume that like in the gay community
It's like you're either massive or you're a little beep beep like they don't like anything in between
They want you to be like a little twinkie twink or they want like a big old twonky bear
Yeah, you know what I mean?
And uh, I think that's why out to they would do well in that regard, you know
Or you can look at like someone like frank thomas. He probably oh that's a big guy. Yeah, fucking david orteez
Hot guy. Why big harry dominican harry. It's a gay man's dream
Big harry dominican. That's a gay man's dream. Let me tell you take it from me
Hey
Well, I mean, maybe I've been trying to say I've been gay my whole life. I was telling about courage living inside of me
Courage is courage to come out courage is come trying to come out
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Uh, all right
next onto, uh
A very pressing uh, uh matter. Okay
Everything all right. Not very pressing. Are you okay?
Shut up
This is by the way guys, this is how joey like actually act. I'll be like, yo, like are you good everything already? He's like, yeah, I'm fucking fine
Yeah
Yeah
I'm like, oh fuck. All right. Are you done? No, now i'm not i'm gonna keep going
Yeah
So i'll be like, yo, joey like how you've been like feeling like mentally like you good
You literally never in my life. You're like, yo, no, i'm gonna fucking kill myself
And i'm like, yo chill out bro. He's like, no, it's fine. Like what what made you think something's wrong?
I'm like, oh man, what is this voice you're doing? That's you
Got it. That's a mixture of you and marco. Yeah, it is. That is marco. Oh
Yes
My marco impression is good. Yeah marco, uh, what other impressions can I do?
Pete's me
Pete
Nailed it. That's it. That is incorrigible. Speak it
Speaking of Pete
Pete davidson and kim kardash
Little segue we got going on there. Yeah, that was kind of crazy. But uh
Pete davidson and kim kardashian. I'm sure to come out and say it
Fucking
Whoa, you went full. You think she gave it up already. I think they're
Bangin butts. You think they're they just fucking just bash their fucking mangoes together. Yeah, dude. Wow
You don't hold hands on a roller coaster and not apparently they're just friends and they had and they went on a roller coaster together
And they had a private dinner together on statten island, bro. Let me tell you
I'm gonna tell you guys if you're not from new york
Every place has this place every place has this place
You're not going to statten island unless you're dating someone there. Yeah, or you like obligated by work or you're like
You're in Manhattan and you're black out. It's 1 a.m
But this girl's like I really want to like suck your soul out and you're like, where do you live?
And she's like statten island. So you got to get on a ferry. So you're like, I'm gonna do it
but like
A ferry and then a bus
Oh, I mean listen, she probably doesn't need I would at this point in my life
I I would be like unless I can't get on a boat, dude
I just can't get on a boat and he like lives with his mom
Right. Well, yeah, he bought a house. What's he gonna do? What's she gonna do? He's like, oh come on come over
Are you like, you know, meet my mom? Yeah, dude
Oh man, he's got it. He's got it like a yo, honestly
This kid is gonna go down in history. This kid is honestly, honestly
Ariana grande, Ariana grande, Kate Middleson. What's her name? Um, Kate Beckinsale, Kate Beckinsale
Um, fucking Kim Kardashian, Kim Kardashian, apparently, allegedly
Larry David's daughter
She's she's a good-looking girl. I don't really know what she looks like, but she's
Related to Larry David. She's good-looking. What's her name?
Larry David's daughter. Got it. That's her name
But I don't know what it is
Cassie, Cassie. Yeah, Cassie. Cassie. She's good-looking. She's pretty. Can't find a picture of her
Yes, she's good-looking. Yeah
This kid's just I I just don't and like I love how like did you see the picture of them on the the roller coaster?
I did and the girl in front of it. Yeah
It was like, geez
Talk about no one no one reading the room bro going to uh, like a roller coaster ride with a
I'm getting a call from albany
Pick it up. I'm afraid. Okay. Um, but uh
Going on a roller coaster ride like holding hands like oh my god. I'm so scared
Like that's a flirty thing to do and like that's also a dangerous date. Have you ever been on like an aggressive roller coaster?
It's a lot of like
Why is that dangerous because like
It's uh, did you watch the new episode of curb? Yeah, did you see where he's like, well, what's he at the glass?
That's it. Oh, yeah
You know and it's like that like remember I told the story about like the girl I went tubing with and she like bounced off the tube
It was like
And you were like, that's it. That's it. It's done forever. Yeah same thing
If you fucking you hear a wrong grunt, you know and like kim Kardashian
Like carries yourself really well
Well spoken, you know, like maybe she screams in a roller coaster like an idiot
You don't know like that's for like the inner that's so true though because there was one time that I had sex with this girl and she
Okay, yeah, I've had sex with girls before for me to go
So I had sex with this girl and she was very good looking but then like she made very weird noises really like
Give me give me two of the noises. They were very animal like
No, they were more like
No, no, no, they were more like grizzly. No, no like grizzly
We're getting warmer now
like
I was actually clearing my throat. I was gonna say that wasn't a noise. Yeah, she called the doctor. That's pure comedy
Yeah, no, but she was just like oh
And I was like oh, and I remember like if there was a camera on me. I remember being like
Really yeah, and like it was fine. She was very nice. It's so funny that like but I was like
I really do think that
That expectation, you know how like people are like, oh porn is ruined like kids and like blah, blah, blah
I really do think like the idea of like what moaning should like the sounds during sex
I think that I think that is has been ruined by porn
Because like we don't know like
I hate I hate porn sound. I well, listen up. I'm saying like we don't know what sounds were like pre-porn
What videos were there? Well, yeah, you know what I mean? They could have just been like
You know like people could just like super like what a fucking guy is getting like railed from the back. He's like
What guys getting railed from the back. Oh, we're talking about we're in Greece now
Yeah, we went way that way back we're in sparta or you know like fucking like
Marie Antoinette is like fucking, you know, king Richard
And you you never know what like she how do you know that she was like? Oh, yeah
I don't think that I mean, I think the sound is innate. I think that they play it up
But I do think the sound is innate. Is it yeah, is it I think what have you ever felt good to the point that you've made?
like a moaning sound
Like ping really like oh
Oh
So like relief. Yeah, that's what sex is relief. It's not enjoyment. No, it's enjoyment, but it's like there is there's a big relief
There's a big relief when I get enjoyed. I'm like when I'm happy. I'm like, yeah, let's go, you know
Like I like I'm like very pumped. Yeah, but I'm not like excited when having why not you should be
It's not like it's not like excited like like I'm on a roller coaster
It's a different kind of there's more like anger
Yes, but I I think that a lot of like what people expect the sounds to be during sex now are from porn
Like the girls like needs to be like
Yeah, the guy needs to be like
Senpai senpai
Muddled my pee pee senpai
I do think
But like
How do we know
Like what noises kim Kardashian's making on a roller coaster. We know what kind of noise she's making during sex that we do
Well, we don't know that might have been a show
I think we know that might have been a show
I don't know. I don't know. I'm not gonna she might have changed she might have changed through the years
She might have matured. She might have went from a oh to like a yeah
One of those is way more mature than the other. I was gonna say that's the that's the progression. Yeah, that's the progression
What's the ultimate mature noise?
Wow
You want to be having sex with a woman and they go
Whoa
Think about that. Like how impressed like it's impressed enough during sex. Maybe afterwards. Wow. Maybe afterwards. No, like in it
Like oh my god, whoa
That's fucking dope. That's so weird. That's the ultimate fucking sign of respect. No, no, you know
That's like the purple the purple heart of sex. You just gotta
go
I
No, not for me. I think so not for me
But on the roller coaster, you're getting noises that you never you didn't you never knew dude. Oh my god. That's such a funny part
of uh
Dating is like you meet a person and like they're visually appealing
And you hang out with them for like the first 15 minutes. You're like, this is great
But then you just wait and you find the thing you find and sometimes it's like they're laughing. It's like
You're like I have to go home
Not even just to laugh, but it's like when something stupid happens like they trip and they're like
And it's like that's that's the worst one because that there's no coming back from yeah
It's like the the snl skit. Uh, you remember when uh, you know what wake go ahead. You're you're you're your show
I was gonna say you know what bothers me a lot go ahead
When someone finds something so funny that I don't
that like something that would make you go
But they're like dying laughing. I'm like
I get so mad chill out. It bothers me so much. Yeah, I don't know why
Yeah, I can see that so if I was on a date with someone and something happened or like they like tripped or something
I'd be like, oh, you okay? Like, okay, like whatever and they're just like
I just I don't know how like
I just I feel like my it's all right my grandma fell down
It's okay. Like you can just walk away at that point. Yeah, I'd be like it's not that funny guys. Please stop
It's not I I am right there with you. I just tripped over them. I didn't even see I am right there with you
Or like if they I remember I I had like years and years and years ago dated a girl
Who like it wasn't her laugh that was annoying but like before she last she was like
And I was like oh silent. Oh, no the silent. I remember being like no coming back from this
Or snorting snorting's crazy. Snorting's not bad because I snort sometimes. Well, yeah, like sometimes but to have like a consistent snort
I mean like every time it's like
Like just constant like yeah, I'd get them a fucking like breathing strip or something. Yeah, but I think you might have sleep
Yeah, I'd get him the mask and be like, yeah, chill out. It's like you have laugh apnea. Yeah
But hey man, if he is dating kim Kardashian good for him good for them kudos
Um, she just hosted snl. I feel like that's where he meets most of these people
Well, yeah, because like
That's all you need
I'll tell you and like what what is it about him though? Like he's got to be like the most fucking like charming
I think that he's funny. Like he's got to be like hilarious behind this. I think
From the outside looking in I think he just has a lot of like
Like humility like he's like a celebrity. He's like a very big celebrity now
But he's not like he doesn't move that way. He doesn't give a fuck. Yeah
So I think that's attractive to people especially in industry where people like really care about image really care about whatever
And he's just like not that
Yeah, I think it also could be I think like the trend is that now he's also not like a super tattooed bad white boy
Yeah, I mean Fox mgk her sister
What's the which one is the sister travis barker and but
Courtney or chloe courtney courtney and travis barker
Her and p david sin. Yeah, who's next?
Who's like a super tattoo white boy these are the island boys. They're going to be dating like megan the stallion and saviti
So
The only two like current like female rappers that I know of
Yeah, I don't know bro, but
Yeah, good friend. Yeah, I mean, you know, you know I'm saying I wish all the happiness in the world
I really do and when they want to hang out with me also like
Pete I feel like p david's got he's gotten better looking as the years have gone on
Um, you you could argue
I
Remember years ago someone wrote an article and it was like p david sin has but whole eyes
And like does have a grand day came out
It was like it's because he has an autoimmune disease and like people were like, hey
I got one too. Don't have but whole eyes. Yeah, you know, it's true
Um, he is like when I close my eyes
I see like him the lead singer the gorillas
Jack scaling too. I don't even know what they look like the like the lead singer the girl is like the animated
You know like the teeth are all got parts in it and like they're just like
And they're white. Yeah, you know jack skellington
Anyone that lives or works in hot topic, you know those types
I don't know. I like wearing a misfits t-shirt
I don't I don't necessarily not to get the the appeal of p david sin, but on this level
I don't think anyone could have foreseen this
Listen, we were really thrown for a loop with ariana grande
Well, I mean that's I mean that's different though because like they're the same age. She dated mac miller
And like he's a like he's he was a very likable dude
Yeah, but like that wasn't like that was like I think that was people like saw that as like his ceiling like she's a huge star
She is such a massive star. Well also like, okay, so no one's like, oh my god. Kate Beckinsale
They're saying that because that she's like quite a couple years older than him. She's beautiful. Kim kids might be older than her
Kim Kardashian you think is older than Kate Beckinsale, bro. How long is Kate Beckinsale? She's gotta be in her late 40s
maybe
Kim K is like, I think just pushing 40 maybe
what
She's this bitch is 48
Kate Kate Beckinsale
Bro, this woman is might be one of the most attractive people all the time then beautiful 48
Kim is 41. Okay. Yeah, but still like yo, you're you're 41 because like he was dating Kate Beckinsale and he was like 25
Well, I think he's my age. No, I think he's a year younger than I said, why we're the same age
I think he's a year younger than us. So is he 29
I thought he was 28
He is
Bro, it's good. Oh, no. Yeah, he's turning 28. His birthday is next month. This month this month 93
So he's turning. Yeah, so he's a year younger than us
Fuck dude. Good for him, man. Yeah, good for him. He's got a fucking fat rocket apparently. Does he? Yeah, dude
Really? He's got a fat peep. Yeah, he's got a fucking long found
Must be an impeccable sense of humor and just a fucking. Yeah, copicola in his pants
Yeah, the guy's got a fucking salami rocket
Everyone has these towns in their neighborhood where like you only go to this place if you really like the person because of not only a
Because it's a dumpster
But because of how tough it is to get in and out of if she went to Staten Island
for Pete Davidson come on, man
Sign them up for a fucking. Yeah, you know join bank accounts. She's in love with this, dude
I think I would even go on record and saying this I think
that
When it comes to this little how you doing? Yeah that because I don't think they're gonna like date long term or anything like that
I think they're just like fucking hooking up and just like whatever
But I think that she's more into him than he's into her
Well, that might be part of the allure, you know, probably he's like, you know, like, oh, whatever
You know, like she's cool. And then she's just like imagine your fucking
27 year old son
Bringing home
Kim Kardashian. Yeah, that would be that would be kind of crazy. And you have to walk. Hey mom
Fucking Kim Kardashian. Yeah, I'd like my son is just like, you know what it is too like thinking back on her previous relationship
she was with someone who was
quite
I mean if it's not been open like discussed like
Kanye or yay, whatever we call him
Most likely suffers from several mental illnesses. So does Pete but like Pete is like, yeah
And I've got it under control. You know what I mean? Like he goes. He's like, yeah, I go to therapy. Yeah, you know
And Kanye was like, I don't need therapy. I am therapy. You know, and it's like, you know, chill out
I am there, you know, like but maybe that's what she likes, you know, she went
He could not have gotten them over opposite end of the spectrum. She went from
Fucking deranged
possibly narcissistic
a black musician to
And white kid from Staten Island white kid from Staten Island with tattoos
It's kind of wild and uh
There's this this kid that I know Eric Dulles Andrew. He's a comedian. He's from Staten Island and he was like
He's like, yo, say we is so true. He's like say what you feel about Pete Davidson
But this kid got like bullied when he was living in Staten Island
And he brought Kim Kardashian to like a pizzeria in Staten Island. Like that is like the ultimate flex. Yeah, it's super flex. Yeah
That was definitely her first time there and she was like, oh, this is cool. Nice. That's fucking never come here again
Yeah, I mean, they probably, you know bought the whole block shut it down
You know, and then they went to eat and then left
Yeah, I don't know but that's that's uh
It's intense. You let me ask if you had uh, yep
Listen to what I'm saying. Okay. If you would like courted like who else is like a mega star
Bigger than Kim Kardashian. Yeah
I have no idea. She's like the ultimate. Just give me someone Beyonce Beyonce if you had courted Beyonce. Yeah
Would you be able to perform?
What does that mean like would you be able to like
Work
You know getting formation so to say in what way like your dick is your dick gonna work
Is it gonna be hard? Like is your like bro, think of the pressure that comes with that bro. You have Beyonce bro
If I have to pop a hole in it and fill it with air from my mouth
I will the focum that we spoke about on the focum
Yeah, no, no, what? Yeah
That is like the last thing I would be you know, I am I am super in my head about everything. I'd be like
Oh my god, you know like what? Oh, no, I would be super fucking in my head and I'd be like, yo like Kanye
Uh, fucking redgy bush. Oh, I wouldn't
That's true. You know, what was his name? Uh, Blake
Uh, who's the big doofus that she married Chris Humphries Chris Humphries, you know like boy
Those are some big shoes to fill literally and figuratively. Yeah
Ray J
Not that very not that bad actually. I'm okay. I'm okay. Yeah, but like yeah, I I I mean, no, I I would
You know
That would be a lot Joey
I mean, I guess with Beyonce it's not back. Jay-Z's ugly as fuck, but like redgy bush is a good-looking dude. Yeah, you know
Yeah, yeah
I'm not thinking about redgy bush though. Like I'm not I would be thinking about redgy bush any time
I think about redgy bush. Maybe like once every two months
I might go that highlight tape from college was crazy. Why but I don't think about Kim Kardashian
I forgot about that. She told me that that bowl game against fucking Texas
Him going against Vince Young. I didn't even start. It was london white iconic. How did he pan out iconic?
Oh, how did redgy bush pan out?
I mean, he played a little longer than london white. I think london white was was in Tennessee for a little bit
Not very good. What are you gonna do? USC? Shout out. Yeah
Um, that's all that's my dream. That was my dream school when I was in middle and high school in the U.S.
Yeah, mine was Miami
That makes sense
You go all the time. Yeah
Now I don't go there for the school. Well, that's school that 2000 or 2003 roster like one. I think 2001 2001 banana sandwich
They're like third string running backwards frank or
Yeah
And andre johnson jeremy shawky
The defense that's not good. Ed Reid
Sean Taylor jonathan vilma
Sean Taylor
Sean Taylor
What a time. Smart roll. What a time
I think uh, was it uh, Samari Roll's brother was on there too, right on troll? He's younger, I think. Oh, okay
Whatever, but anyway football sports ball football stuff
Where can they find you frank at alvarez 8085 on twitter the frank alvarez on twitch
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