The Basement Yard - #320 - Becoming Island Boys

Episode Date: November 15, 2021

Frank & Joe check in with the Island Boys to see if it's possible to become honorary Island Boys. The world is burning to the ground. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. Okay Frank got a new haircut new feeling new personality You look a lot younger confidence, babe. Do you new confidence? You got like a tiktok hair gone I got tiktok hair kind of cute. I kind of like I think you look really cute. Thank you so much one That was a two Two yeah when I'm in the shower My hair like fell like curl to the side and I was like, yo, I look like a like a fucking young JTT Oh, no, I'm sorry. That's not your Justin Timberlake JTB ATL It's just JT. Okay

also You look cute But let's not get ahead of her. No, I think I think yo honestly close your eyes First of all, Justin Timberlake and Jason Momoa who you love to say you look like by the way people have been sending me shoutouts apparently the real Jason Momoa is suffering from uh He's contracted COVID. I'm doing okay though. People were like, yo, you contracted COVID. I was like, no, no, no, not me Do the real Jason Momoa. So thank you for the well wishes everyone, but I'm okay Uh, but yes, I do I do now shut the fuck now since I've shaved. I don't look like Jason Momoa

But there was a time where I was yeah You know, no, there was There wasn't a time a mahalo. Yeah, my man I think you're confusing the rock and Jason momo. Nope. I'm definitely not. Absolutely. He's he's mahalo too Oh, yeah, dude. He's all about it. He's all about I don't think he's worn closed-toe shoes in 15 years at least really. Yeah, that's beautiful Well, no, I mean if you're into that kind of stuff, it depends You know, you went to it. I had to know. Um, I had an interesting day yesterday

Um, what happened? Well, by the way another interesting you're wearing a hat inside Like a winter hat. Yeah, you okay? Yeah You sure? Frank, you're wearing sketcher boots. That's for work, dude. Yeah, but you've been wearing them for years for work Where the where do you work a child's factory in the 90s construction sites construction sites Don't want me to wear them. No You pay me more so I can quit my job What do you what does that have to do with your shoes you choose to buy?

I need to wear these because if I have to go on a construction site for work Let me ask you a question Go ahead are all the construction men out there wearing sketches like it's the 90s No, but these were boots that were purchased by my job when they said to me like, yo We'll purchase the boots. Don't go fucking crazy. Like I was like, all right. I found like a fucking 80 pair You know $80 pair of boots sketches you paid $80 for that I didn't pay a goddamn. I wouldn't pay eight my job Shelled out the money for me because that was nice, you know rob that job blind

No, I should have got like a pair like Tim's, you know and just like really been like crazy Yeah, you get some butters Well, what happened? Why was your day crazy? Um, no back to the basement yard, by the way, everyone. Welcome back. Welcome back No, it wasn't crazy. It was just uh yesterday. I reconnected with my ex who My ex from kindergarten to 5th grade janey. Oh

How was that? I feel like that's like a meeting of the minds. Yeah, we're getting back together. Oh, are you good for you, man No, no for you. She's married. She is married. That's true. I wouldn't say good for you. I don't know also Obviously that was a joke, but anyway, uh, no, she she hit me up No, she hit me up. Um, and she said which is this is kind of crazy because she said like your lips used to be softer Yeah No, she hit me up and she was like I was going through old shit and I found some poems that Uh, I go I got the same shit. She told me she was gonna send them to you. She sent me some too yo

When I tell you that these and we had such a funny conversation too because I told her I was like the podcast knows who you are Yeah, like she's she's she's pretty famous on this show. I was like, yeah, we talk about you all the time Well, she's pretty famous on the show She said that one time she saw a clip or something or maybe listen to a part of the podcast where we uh We're talking about because we were talking about the three horsemen jane jay me and gillian So, uh, three horse women. Yeah of our childhood. So she said she's like I forgot about who they were She's like so my younger self was like these bitches

She's like, wait a minute. There's someone else. She's still got it in there. She's still got it. She's so you know The fire's there. The fire never burns out completely. I mean The fire still burns, you know for young preview Bess and joey. I mean, I don't blame her You're a cute kid big teeth I had big teeth. You had big teeth I guess so and she was also bigger than me. I think she was quite tall and she was fast She was very fast. She was also Real good at basketball. She was good at basketball. Dude. I remember she once like broke her arm or something

Some shit and you were like, yo, how'd she break her arm? I was like, oh, she dumped on someone in basketball I do like believed it for a second I don't remember that You were like, yo, I was like, no, she's like fucking fell or some shit. So I want to read you There's a poem here that's called my wishes and it's like I wish my oh man. Here we go again, joey. I wish I don't die Literally, there's one. Oh, okay I wish for my grandfather in heaven because he is special to me. That's not even like that doesn't make sense What do you wish for? Yeah, I wish for everyone to have a better place to be

What honestly though, not a bad wish. I wish you were somewhere better Are you content because I wish I wish she was just better for you No one's That is the best like little like backhanded compliment backhanded disc that like people it won't like register with them right away Right, and then they walk down the block and they're like, wait a fucking second I was just telling them how happy I was. It's just I wish more for you. Oh my god. You have kids and you're married I wish better All right, so the reason why I brought this up is because there's a different poem that I wrote here

Oh, it's not a poem. That's so weird. I have two poems too Okay, I don't know if this is a poem as much as it is just like a little blurb that I wrote Um, and I'll get to why it's very funny but It's called my grandfather. Okay. It says my grandfather was very special to me. He played with me all day Can I ask a question? Nope. I'll get to it at the end. I think I know what you're gonna ask And I'm gonna I'm gonna get to that So I wrote my grandfather was very special to me. He played with me all day all day

He helped me with my homework. That was cute. This is why he is special Pretty pretty basic. Okay after he died. I felt lonely Damn now every day. I pray to him Even though he is in heaven, he will always be in my heart. That's cute. I will never forget my grandfather. That's adorable, dude So I wrote that right? Yeah, so she sent me that One of the things that's funny about this is that there's little pictures Yep of a man with a cane and one of them says two times two was four five times six is 30 And I was like, thank you and that's like a picture that I drew

Hey, man spot on then there's a picture of me of a stick figure standing over a box With a another stick figure laying there with a cane and two x's in their eyes You just drew this guy's dead. Yeah. Yeah with the cane. He went with the cane now That's not even the funniest part. So the funniest part About this whole thing Which I had to I went to my mom's house early this morning just to have this conversation My the my grandfather on my dad's side on my mom's side. I never met so he died before I was born that that was

Good to be my first question right no, so he was I never never knew him didn't care And now this grandfather that I'm talking about that, you know, was very special to me He played with me all the day and you know when he died He will always be in my heart. This is like, uh, when I was in maybe fourth or fifth grade. Yeah My other grandfather didn't die until I was at high school What the fuck who the fuck was I writing about? I called my mom. I was like, when did grandpa sanagato die? This is gonna be my question, bro. I was like, wait a fucking second, dude

I never but my grandpa also when he was alive lived in Maine. Yeah He did you have never saw you shot a shotgun once with him and he came back down. You're like, I'm good, bro I I saw my grandpa on like fucking Christmas Easter funeral And I went up there one time I remember when he went up there because you shot a shotgun. Yeah, and I was just gonna say I was gonna say Hold on a sec as someone that yeah knows you and your family

I was like, who the fuck is he talking about grandpa? No grandpa and and I didn't I never met your dad's father Yeah, something tells me if he is the father of your dad. He didn't know five times six Probably not. Probably not. Yeah, maybe two times two five times six. That could be a tricky one Yo, my grandfather was so fucking funny, dude. Was he? Yeah, oh my god. I remember there was one time that I was uh Watching football someone got a hit or something he goes, oh guys paralyzed like dead serious. I'm like the fuck. No, he's fine He's like on the ground like grabbing his knee obvious paralyzed job Like he's just like fucking double tripling down, but I was reading this thing and I'm like And I read it as she sent it to me. I'm like, oh my god

The reason why it was funny to me at first because I was like the other stuff too I was talking about death and I was like and then I was explaining to her I was like, I was writing about death in like middle school too. Like it was so weird and then I'm like, wait, what the fuck is this? I was like, I never had a close relationship with my grandfather and like That's just just just a big old lie And you called me a liar as a kid. You fucking piece of shit I did lie about my grandfather being dead, which I didn't lie technically. He did die years prior. Yeah, I mean that's a lie Well, no, I wasn't a lie. That was the reason I didn't do a month's work of homework in sixth grade. Got it. Uh,

But I but I had no idea I asked my mom I was like, I was like, am I crazy? Like he died when I was in high school I'm like, who could I be writing about the only grandparent that I had like a close relationship with was your grandmother Your mom's mom my mom's mom. Yeah, I remember and like, you know, maybe she did this stuff with me I mean, she wasn't fucking, you know, playing football with me. Yeah. Well, she couldn't she was very agile No, she was an old old bag. So I I she sent me to Uh poems as well. Yeah, and one of them is just okay. Did you write about a fake death also? No, I didn't no one no one

Fake dead and the only thing that I can possibly think of is that I did you ever have like a relationship with like someone you called grandpa or something? No So that I don't know one in your life that like it was like pseudo grandpa. The only thing I can possibly think of is If they like a sign to like write about this Member of your family like someone got brother someone got mother and I got grandfather and I had nothing to write What do I wrote that? But that also just doesn't make sense to me because one of them was dead

So it's like fine whatever But the other one was like very much alive and I could have wrote about him and just lied and not killed him So like either way this is cut. I was like dead Psycho, bro Like to the point where like you drew him dead drew him dead You were maybe you were mad if also a cane my grandfather never had a cane Not once never had a cane Maybe this is like just like a memory you've completely forgotten where like you were like cool with like an old man who used a cane

I hope not. I hope not. That sounds terrible. If you forgot it, it's for a reason Yeah, burying something. So I wrote two poems. The second one is the real like party poem The first one though, I might as well read so you can get a sense because we haven't gone through any of my poems yet Okay, first one is my father Buckle up. That's gonna be Uh, and I don't know. I think this was supposed to be in like different lines because it's like It's made like an idiot Right how he works 24 hours a day comes home to sleep, huh?

That's how you started it. How you wonder why you weren't student of the month How he works 24 hours a day comes home to sleep how the that doesn't even fucking make sense The math doesn't add to it. He comes he works 24 hours a day and then comes like What can't the way he says try try and try until you get it listen My dad's never been the very motivational one. No, and if he was he like stumbled into it by accident You know, he'd be like, well guess what if you can't do it. Maybe don maybe do it and it's like, oh, okay, dad, you know Um, most of all the way he combs his hair until it shines

I don't know. I don't think it didn't that didn't line up. I don't think that's how hair works But don't forget if he is young or old, I'll still love him I Jesus Christ, and then I drew drew you dad. It's not good Yo, that sucks That looks like nothing. It was bad. The other one though I had to just read that just to give you a census to work As I can yeah, what my words can do 100% the other one

Give it to me, baby called courage Oh my god, I cannot wait get please god Uh, and I drew a picture of the sun And someone throwing a baguette. Maybe I don't I don't a roll of sourdough I'm not quite sure what that is. So littering is courage to you. I guess Paul you I just litter all the time back in the day All right courage He helps me when I'm in trouble

Not bad. I get you know, that's when courage comes out Tells me to go when my brothers need help Huh, what is this a lassie situation? I guess so like what what what is courage going to do? Is courage now an actual person? I guess you were just being like I think I think I'm talking about my dad here again Oh, I thought you were being like metaphorical like courage. He comes to me. I think I maybe I'm not sure because then I go He wears dark red Why why does he wear that color? Wait, hold on You just made up a man named courage. I guess so

He wears dark red Tells me to go when my brothers need help. What was happening with my brothers that they needed my help? I don't know They were okay Maybe he will show me the right and wrong thing to do It's nice This last line Boy buckle up I don't know

Wherever I go, he needs to follow me Not living outside of me Inside of me What the fuck you probably thought you crushed that Nailed it dude courage is not living outside of me. This was a call for help So you never someone tried to fuck me and I was trying to tell the school There was a man in dark red and dark red fucking telling me to help my brothers and he's gonna fuck me Help courage is inside of me. I think if you take like the last couple words, it's like trouble help red

red Conspiracy theorists who just have a literally field day with that This might have been like a fucking like a little way to like tell people like a Cryptic like national treasure way to like tell them I'm in trouble because the last words of each line are trouble help red do me Do me Oh shit Trouble help red do me do me wait. Maybe that was part of the assignment

Because that was the last of yours. No, I need to end in trouble help No, mine were uh, I I think I think the the sun is the trouble is the courage here And I think that's me and that's That just like it looks like a pair of tits a manhole cover Merit pair of tits with legs maybe Boy, but when I read that I was like he is inside of me not living outside of me inside of me inside Some people would be super into that

But yeah, Jamie said that to me too. I was like astonished because I I don't think I had seen a poem of mine since ever Yeah, no, that's that's amazing. She really came through with that We did miss it back in the day. We did well. Do you think right now? If I give you a topic you think you can write a poem Oh, maybe we should have a poem episode on patreon patreon.com You're gonna ignite the fire that already is burning right now for people Desperately asking for slam poetry. That's right. I forgot one day. It's gonna come you guys are gonna get it. I I Forgot about those because that wasn't me. I didn't write those that was francisco, right francisco wrote those

Uh, I was merely a vessel right for him to express himself. Did I have a name? Uh, I think it was just joe and then danie was daunte daunte. That's right And uh, boy, oh boy, those videos are electric. Go check them out. If you haven't seen them, by the way, santa gata studios on youtube There's new content up there, but also go check out the slam poetry videos people scream for those bad boys Yeah, those are good But also patreon patreon.com slash the basement yard sign up get every weekly episode like this one You're watching a week in advance and every friday morning you get exclusive episodes And not everyone gets the opportunity to see and they're fucking wild

We talked about a guy who was like, yo, fucking me coming me poop on me. Oh, yeah No, there was the the latest patreon episode was um a guy who Was the freakiest man in the world That's what the episode is called and someone had reached out to me Uh, who was a viewer of the show And sent me this list that he had sent her of like these are my sexual fantasies

And we went we go through the entire thing kind of break down talk about it And honestly some stuff it's freaky some stuff not that bad. I just sound like Jerry Seinfeld. That's freaky That was really good. Oh my god. That was a really good Jerry Seinfeld. I'm the freaky last Jerry Oh, I just hurt my neck. Stop your neck doing Kramer. Um, all right, uh, let me get to the two of these ads We'll hop back in. Let's hope we're friends. We have a surprise for everyone and I have a surprise for you as well Um, so it's coming. It's coming. It's coming. Um, okay It's coming. It's coming Okay

Yeah, my church iPhone pressure might be the best one I have. It's like the only one you have fact, um, I love the biden one people really love the biden one It's all right, it's still recording We're good. We're good. We're good. I'm gonna do this whole, uh, better help sponsorship and biden's voice Okay, okay, uh, no this podcast is sponsored by better help. Better help will assess your needs and match you to your own license professional Therapist you can start communicating just under 48 hours. So, you know, not a big long wait until you can start your therapy Uh, just give them, you know inside 48 hours and they'll set you up. Um, and you can schedule, uh, you know around Your work day or whatever you need. Um, you can do text to video just phone or whatever. Um, it's great. Um, I just actually just had therapy this morning

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Um, don't forget about that. Um, but yeah, go check them out All right, so I'm very curious. Isn't this surprise? Yeah, so I have a surprise. Is it like physical? Is it like can you give it to me? I haven't gotten a gift from you in years. So I'd like something is that true No, you're wearing a gift Yeah years It's like two years ago in 2019 Yeah, maybe No, I haven't got you something. Yeah. Yeah

Oh, that's true in 2020. You got me a two bottles of dump. That's true. That was really nice. Yeah, that was cool That was I got a little drunk off that did you? Um, so I have so what I did was obviously everyone knows, you know, right now There's a big viral sensation right now. Obviously two viral sensations. Um the island boys. Oh Yeah I'm not gonna I'm not gonna do it. Yeah, I'm not gonna do it. You know, um, so They're actually on cameo. So I reached out to them and got one for us So I'm just gonna play it for you. Okay. I asked them. I said, hey, you know, what I wrote was like, hey, you know

It's frank and joe. Of course frank and joe. They know us. We know them and I was like, hey man It's frank and joe de boys Um, and then I asked them like, yo, what do we got to do to become an island boy? Okay, that's really I need to hear this You know, so I asked them like, yo, well, you got to do to become an island boy And also can you like tell me in the form of freestyle rap? Oh, all right, perfect Yeah, so I'll play it for you. Yes, and then I'll send this to jasso. He could put it up on the screen That'd be great. Are you gonna pause through there? We're just gonna listen through. We're just gonna listen through It's 41 seconds. I need to see this. This is gonna be fucking the highlight of my day. Can you see? Oh boy, can I? Okay

I just want to say shout out to you man frank and joe as sort of become an island boy man You just got to be a part of the islands man So wherever you're from like Jamaica example or or uh, you're cuban or let's give him a freestyle right now I'll have to be freestyle boy. Why don't you become an island boy? You the cleanest I'll hear them boy. You the freshest I'll hear them boy Getting money I'll hear them boy. Most tatted I'll hear them boy Keep on snapping I'll hear them boy by the bvbs is all boy

By the b really snapping little boy. We'll pull up on a jit little boy. We'll pull up in the rose rose rose Yeah, it's you know, big mansion too. Yeah big crib island boys. Yeah And I y'all yeah snap it like a I Hear them boy. What was that last part? Snap it like a Hi, oh man, I that was worth it. I am very very happy pretty sure I paid 150 dollars. I was gonna say how much was that? I think it was like a hundred. Damn. I'm getting docked an hour aren't I? Yeah, big time. Yeah, let's just replay that

Oh, yeah, and I yeah, snap it like a Like a mm. I mean when you're snapping like a mm. Well, you know, you need to if there's any way to snap it It's like a mm. Yeah, can you all right? Let's go from the beginning. We need it. We need to talk about this You go for the go from the beginning. Oh, you want to play it again back up back up. Why you want to like dissect it? I I do of course I do. Okay. That's what that's what I just want to say shout out to you, man Frank and Joe and so to become a first. Yeah, I think first I Just want to say that Frank first. That's how I wrote it idiot

You just got to be part of the islands man. So what we learned from this video by the way is that we can't be island boys We're not island well technically long island long island queens Is that long island queens is on if we're talking about it's on queens technically geographically We are island boys. Manhattan's an island too, but we grew up in queens, which is an island Yeah, but also They're from florida, which is like yeah, they're not an island. Yeah, they're peninsula boys Yeah, they're peninsula boys Did they like happen to grow up in like the archipelago boys? Maybe yeah, maybe maybe like, you know

marshland boys Yeah, definitely not island boys. Yeah, we're also I think we might be Island boys We are more island boys than they are island boys by the definition of that that they're given. Yes I'm not gonna they want to identify as island boys good for them. Yeah, but the way that they're going about defining them Yeah We're more island boys. Yeah, then dame. Yeah, they're You know, they're peninsula boys. They are peninsula boys. Which is cool, too

Listen, I do not judge. I I love peninsula boys again if they What was that one job? I loved peninsula boys peninsula boys peninsula peninsula boys penis boys penis, uh Okay, uh, I all I'm saying Is by their definition They just they just ousted themselves they out of themselves. They did they can call themselves island boys But if they're saying like, yo, you need to be this to be an island boy

I guess they're the exception of the rule because there's always one or two. I guess. Yeah, uh, but they're twins, right? Yeah, so they're one They're one human just in two different bodies No, that's what twins basically are. It's like the same dna If they're identical, well, they do have some sort of same dna Actually crazy. Can you do me a favor and just like lower that I can do it. Of course you go ahead and talk I saw a video on the talk. All right, you're good I saw a video on tiktok of a guy who had a twin brother

Who was a criminal and like stole a car or something and like we have your some of this dna matches your dna And he's like, yeah, or twins. We have some matching dna. I didn't even know that was true Well, identical twins have the same dna. Yeah, they were it's just uh fraternal twins have different dna So like my brothers are fraternal twins Do you know what do you know like the scientific like reasoning behind being identical and fraternal same cock? You nailed it. Did I know no same looking face. They all come from no, it's like a scientific thing Oh same chromosomes. No, no, no the fucking same, uh molecules. Am I again mitochondria? Keep going That's the powerhouse of the cell baby chloroplast. That's definitely in plants. All right, uh, it's um

The what's the hab helmiostasis? What did you call me? I've exhausted all scientific terms that I know that you know The fraternal twins are two different eggs And identical twins are one egg that split Oh, damn. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So like that's why like only like same sex twins can be identical Like you can't have like a boy and a girl that are identical twins Gotcha, because they come from the same fucking egg word and shit like that. So I don't even know but We are more island boys than they are island boys. Yeah, and I will say, you know, like

From from what I've seen I mean, I don't I don't really know these kids. I will say that they look Like they got a lot going on They've had a lot going on but they look like nice kids if I'm being honest. I hope they are I I don't know though I wish I mean they did say, you know in there. They said like they're krippen Did they krippen there? It sounded like they were saying they're krippen. Oh, well, and that's not good I mean, I don't have a problem with the crips. I don't have a problem with them at large Yeah, I know but like please like don't become a gang member. Well, it can lead to bad It really depends what kind of

Gang bang what kind of banging you do the banging don't know bang bang But like you could bang and like hang out with the boys. You want to go bang out later? You know what I mean? Yeah, well, I'll mean that that works, you know, it's exactly it's the banging that defines the gang So if you're going to be sitting there and you're going to be, you know, bang and like, you know Clop, yeah, that's not a good bang. Yeah, gang bang in a fun way Yeah, you know because like in college you were in a fraternity. It wasn't a fraternity like that was a white gang There's like a there's like a fraternity where it's like, you know, we're going to go out and we're going to like, you know Girls and pee on each other. Yeah finger our brothers. Yeah, whatever and then other fraternities are just like, you know

We're just going to recycle that's what we did and where like like and like wear the same shirt A whole door is open for people wear ties and you know recycle. Yeah, it's like it's a it's a resume build There are other ones out there that are like, yo bend over. I'm going to smack you with this fucking piece of wood Yeah, yeah, yeah, not not me. So like I think you can gang bang in a very like, you know for the for the community I mean religions are gangs, you know, think about like gang like, you know, the christian gang christian gang Like if they want to go out there and do christian gang bang like that's cool if they want to be like, yo praise god Careful Praise god, but the bad christian gang bang

I think you've said enough But we don't know what kind of gang bang in there doing yeah, there's always good I mean, that's a metaphor for like everything in life. There's always going to be a good gang bang and a bad gang bang There is someone that tweeted at me once like enough with disrespecting god. I was like Wow I almost let loose on this guy. You're gonna know what you do tell on me. Yeah I gotta be careful because my my in-laws are you know, they're they they keep a good line of connection with god So I don't want to disrespect them

But like this person almost got it on twitter. Well, you know It is what it is. So Do we know what they do? Are they rappers? Can I be honest with you? Yep I don't I can't tell you the last like legitimate like rap artists that I've listened to that has come out past 2010 And i'm not saying there are no good ones, right? I'm not disrespecting I know like, you know, people really love j. Cole Kendrick Lamar, you know, that was before that. Okay. I didn't know but what i'm saying is like

That wasn't good No, no, I mean, they're not well I don't know that they have like rap music out like I don't really know if you look it up They should make that song though. It would be a fucking hit. I could almost guarantee they had at least one song out I'm sure they do but uh, you know, I just like it was all like, um I lem boy. I'm a cc boy. I'm a deep deep boy. I'm a rose royce boy. They're rose royce boys That's very nice. That's a good boy to be. I don't think that they have a rose royce though if they do that's an impressive boy I mean, yeah, that's a big fucking boy. That's a that's a man. You don't have a rose royce. No, I do not

You won't have one anytime soon unless you want to how much is I think a rose royce goes for like Like 200 I would say at least 250 300 Jesus. I don't really really like rose royce. I don't like me either I would say a bentley is cool though I think a rose royce is cool if you have a driver, but like to drive that on your own Yeah, it's like a maybach like who you don't like a point of a maybach is to sit in the back not in the front Royce rolls Rolls Royce cost

No, they're 300 dog. Yeah, 300. That sounds about right. Are they worth it though? The 2021 rose royce ghost Nice car. It's 300 and 312 thousand dollars. That's like the standard edition I mean the inside is like you're in a spaceship. You know, like it looks super nice. Let me see. Let me see that But these these two are rose royce boys I mean that looks okay. And then you have like the stars That looks cool, but like what's the difference between that and what you have right now? You know what I mean? Uh, you would hope not 300 thousand dollars. Yeah. Well yours was only 200 000 psych

180 000 no bro How much do you think Range rovers are the one that you got. Yeah, it has a fridge in it, Joe They all come standard now in fridges. It's not a fridge It's like a mini like you put like two bottles of fucking water in it and what happens. Do they get cold? Yeah, they do. That's a fridge Yeah, I know I was like sandwiches in there. I actually think there's a white claw in there. Uh-oh. Yeah, yeah Fucking snitching on yourself here, joey pull over. Joe sanagato easy dui. No, it's closed. It doesn't matter

State of new york is like closed containers if they're in anything insane, bro I think the state of new york is like how was I think? I'm pretty sure. Oh now he's getting confident this The state of new york you need to have all open or not open you need to have closed containers in the trunk You can't like have it like you can't like roll with like a fucking beer on your like fucking passenger seat I've done that constantly. That's a problem. I actually have a bottle of wine in my car right now

I'm probably gonna get rid of why you trying to slam some no, I got it as a wedding Like it was a favor. It was a bottle of wine Oh, that's a good wedding favor, by the way People will give out little bags at weddings to have like a fucking candied peanut on it. I'm like the fuck is this? So that is your wedding. That's funny. You give no no no my wedding was um I think our favor was gonna be we were gonna have I don't think we're gonna have any favors actually Thanks a lot. Well, no Yeah, to go complain. You've got a fucking cigar box that you haven't touched

Uh, don't think I didn't know I saw it in there. You son of a bitch. First of all, I know where it is Yeah, second of all one's last time I smoke a cigar You tell me Yeah, I don't I don't even know exactly Uh, but at the wedding the bottle of wine was like one of the favors and it was a nice bottle bottle of josh Oh, I like josh cabsav. Yeah, um, but the other one was like a doily like Hand stitched like wedding dress like

Jordan almond holder literally like this I will say Jordan almonds are delicious. Dude. That's what it is people give away almonds. I'm like, uh, what are we birds candy almonds? I think it's like a like it's it's like a traditional thing. Dude tradition sucks. I know I just recently did uh, I know Because my my first wedding anniversary just passed. So I did the whole um, uh, like wedding anniversary gift by the year Oh, how does it start? So first they're like rubber. There's like two. No leather I think that is one year, but not not first year. There's like two lists There's like a traditional and the modern the modern the first year was clocks. So if I could got me a clock

It's kind of I like that. I think it's cute sick What kind of clock it's a clock. Yeah, that could mean anything It's not like we don't want to go like like a digital clock or like an analog Just a clock. Okay, and mine was paper So like you have to get something paper so like you can get like whatever you can find that's paper New York Times Uh, I got I got what I think is pretty cool. I got our wedding song

Printed and made into roses. It's a bouquet of roses with our it's like the lyrics to our wedding song. Damn. That's dope. Fucking fire, right? How much is that? Not that expensive 250 bucks No, no, no, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Okay Okay, no $300,000 but yeah, like oh, there's like one it's like 61 years. It's diamond Bro, can you if I live to be fucking? What would you be 87 88 and she's still alive Obviously you already assumed that you're not living her. No, I I don't think I'm making it to 88. Yeah, I don't but if I do

I don't know if I make it to 88. Just know that every day that I wake up. I'm gonna be laughing my ass off I'm just like I'm gonna be like honestly after I'd say no joke after 80. I'm like I I won't care like, you know when you look at old people and you're like, yo, they don't just give They just don't give a fuck. Yeah, that's how I'll be. I'll be like, yo, fuck you You know, I might get racist. You never know. Just just just to just to be old. Oh my god. What I would probably pick up some Some like horrible habit at that time. Oh, yeah, probably also. Yeah, I won't be racist But you know, just like pick up like a cool little hobby or something bro 88

Definitely, what are they gonna say? What are they gonna do? What what's gonna happen? We're gonna do beat me up I'm trying to die at that point. You're doing me a favor if you don't black my eye Yeah, fucking throw me down a flight of stairs Make it quicker. Whatever, you know, maybe you should be gay Maybe I will. Yeah, I'll be gay and I'll fucking do all the drugs Yeah Maybe yeah I'll fucking blow coke

and blow guy's name Jordan That's a hot name kind of good name. Yeah, it sounds like a baseball player's name Or yeah, I would say yo, I'm attracted to baseball players, by the way. Are you the uniform? It's the butt, isn't it? It's not the butts. Give me like your three hottest baseball players. Three two one go Oh, they're not like famous players. Oh, I was like, I already had them seen pictures. I already had them teed up Oh, who I was gonna go, um, marco scudero um

What? You don't think so. I mean, I don't really know what marco scudero looks like. Okay um Mike trout. That's a good-looking guy. Not my time. You don't think so. Oh, okay I'd rather uh stand at that point. Alex Bragman That's a good-looking dude. I hate him. I hate him dude. I hate his guts, dude I'll tell you who I'm not attracted to. Jose Altuve. Yeah, I'll kill him I swear to god. You ever look at a professional. You know, it's funny. I could fucking kill you

You know, it's funny So like, you know how like, I mean, I don't know how connected you are to the internet and trends or whatever But like, you know how it's like a thing with like women who are like, oh if you're under six foot Like I'm gonna call you friend. You think I'm disconnected to the point where I don't fucking know that? I don't know, bro. Okay, like these trends that come in and out. They're like tick tock We live on the internet. Our life is the internet. I know, but you don't like do the tick tock thing I don't have tick tock. You are correct. But Becca probably keeps you up to date. She does. Um, so Yeah, so it's like that whole thing like six foot and under whatever and like there's always these dudes that are like

510 being like, yo, I'm not right now There's actually a really funny thing that I really enjoy It's these girls going to random guys instagram lives and being like, yes, we love a short king And then dudes like losing it Like bro, I'm not short. I'm like, I mean, I'm five nine, but like that's not short bro people like I think People legit think that you and I are like five foot five and five foot four. Yeah, like they're like, yo, these two are fucking tiny And you know what? Let them think I don't even care. Like I don't really care. Yeah. I mean like what are you gonna do hurt my feelings?

Those things are so funny to me because dude's just being like, bro. I'm not short Like um and then like that just makes it worse, bro Like it's it's one thing to be short, but it's also to be short and like bitter. Yeah. Oh, yeah Oh, yeah, I mean if you're actually short, you're funny and able to be manipulated into like defending yourself It's funny. Like you you've got to become like self-deprecating if you're actually short so you know, obviously, you know my actual opinion is like

Girls who say stuff like that like oh if you're under six foot i'm a coey friend Oh, I won't even look at you whatever like obviously that's like dumb, but But it's it is funny that if I go into my gay persona I'm like, ew. I'll say out to face. Yeah, that's short. That's short It's like, hey, I'm not into him. I think I think and I see that's what's I I don't know. I don't have first degree or firsthand knowledge But I would assume that like in the gay community It's like you're either massive or you're a little beep beep like they don't like anything in between

They want you to be like a little twinkie twink or they want like a big old twonky bear Yeah, you know what I mean? And uh, I think that's why out to they would do well in that regard, you know Or you can look at like someone like frank thomas. He probably oh that's a big guy. Yeah, fucking david orteez Hot guy. Why big harry dominican harry. It's a gay man's dream Big harry dominican. That's a gay man's dream. Let me tell you take it from me Hey Well, I mean, maybe I've been trying to say I've been gay my whole life. I was telling about courage living inside of me

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Everything all right. Not very pressing. Are you okay? Shut up This is by the way guys, this is how joey like actually act. I'll be like, yo, like are you good everything already? He's like, yeah, I'm fucking fine Yeah Yeah I'm like, oh fuck. All right. Are you done? No, now i'm not i'm gonna keep going Yeah So i'll be like, yo, joey like how you've been like feeling like mentally like you good

You literally never in my life. You're like, yo, no, i'm gonna fucking kill myself And i'm like, yo chill out bro. He's like, no, it's fine. Like what what made you think something's wrong? I'm like, oh man, what is this voice you're doing? That's you Got it. That's a mixture of you and marco. Yeah, it is. That is marco. Oh Yes My marco impression is good. Yeah marco, uh, what other impressions can I do? Pete's me Pete

Nailed it. That's it. That is incorrigible. Speak it Speaking of Pete Pete davidson and kim kardash Little segue we got going on there. Yeah, that was kind of crazy. But uh Pete davidson and kim kardashian. I'm sure to come out and say it Fucking Whoa, you went full. You think she gave it up already. I think they're Bangin butts. You think they're they just fucking just bash their fucking mangoes together. Yeah, dude. Wow

You don't hold hands on a roller coaster and not apparently they're just friends and they had and they went on a roller coaster together And they had a private dinner together on statten island, bro. Let me tell you I'm gonna tell you guys if you're not from new york Every place has this place every place has this place You're not going to statten island unless you're dating someone there. Yeah, or you like obligated by work or you're like You're in Manhattan and you're black out. It's 1 a.m But this girl's like I really want to like suck your soul out and you're like, where do you live? And she's like statten island. So you got to get on a ferry. So you're like, I'm gonna do it

but like A ferry and then a bus Oh, I mean listen, she probably doesn't need I would at this point in my life I I would be like unless I can't get on a boat, dude I just can't get on a boat and he like lives with his mom Right. Well, yeah, he bought a house. What's he gonna do? What's she gonna do? He's like, oh come on come over Are you like, you know, meet my mom? Yeah, dude Oh man, he's got it. He's got it like a yo, honestly

This kid is gonna go down in history. This kid is honestly, honestly Ariana grande, Ariana grande, Kate Middleson. What's her name? Um, Kate Beckinsale, Kate Beckinsale Um, fucking Kim Kardashian, Kim Kardashian, apparently, allegedly Larry David's daughter She's she's a good-looking girl. I don't really know what she looks like, but she's Related to Larry David. She's good-looking. What's her name? Larry David's daughter. Got it. That's her name But I don't know what it is

Cassie, Cassie. Yeah, Cassie. Cassie. She's good-looking. She's pretty. Can't find a picture of her Yes, she's good-looking. Yeah This kid's just I I just don't and like I love how like did you see the picture of them on the the roller coaster? I did and the girl in front of it. Yeah It was like, geez Talk about no one no one reading the room bro going to uh, like a roller coaster ride with a I'm getting a call from albany Pick it up. I'm afraid. Okay. Um, but uh

Going on a roller coaster ride like holding hands like oh my god. I'm so scared Like that's a flirty thing to do and like that's also a dangerous date. Have you ever been on like an aggressive roller coaster? It's a lot of like Why is that dangerous because like It's uh, did you watch the new episode of curb? Yeah, did you see where he's like, well, what's he at the glass? That's it. Oh, yeah You know and it's like that like remember I told the story about like the girl I went tubing with and she like bounced off the tube It was like

And you were like, that's it. That's it. It's done forever. Yeah same thing If you fucking you hear a wrong grunt, you know and like kim Kardashian Like carries yourself really well Well spoken, you know, like maybe she screams in a roller coaster like an idiot You don't know like that's for like the inner that's so true though because there was one time that I had sex with this girl and she Okay, yeah, I've had sex with girls before for me to go So I had sex with this girl and she was very good looking but then like she made very weird noises really like Give me give me two of the noises. They were very animal like

No, they were more like No, no, no, they were more like grizzly. No, no like grizzly We're getting warmer now like I was actually clearing my throat. I was gonna say that wasn't a noise. Yeah, she called the doctor. That's pure comedy Yeah, no, but she was just like oh And I was like oh, and I remember like if there was a camera on me. I remember being like Really yeah, and like it was fine. She was very nice. It's so funny that like but I was like

I really do think that That expectation, you know how like people are like, oh porn is ruined like kids and like blah, blah, blah I really do think like the idea of like what moaning should like the sounds during sex I think that I think that is has been ruined by porn Because like we don't know like I hate I hate porn sound. I well, listen up. I'm saying like we don't know what sounds were like pre-porn What videos were there? Well, yeah, you know what I mean? They could have just been like You know like people could just like super like what a fucking guy is getting like railed from the back. He's like

What guys getting railed from the back. Oh, we're talking about we're in Greece now Yeah, we went way that way back we're in sparta or you know like fucking like Marie Antoinette is like fucking, you know, king Richard And you you never know what like she how do you know that she was like? Oh, yeah I don't think that I mean, I think the sound is innate. I think that they play it up But I do think the sound is innate. Is it yeah, is it I think what have you ever felt good to the point that you've made? like a moaning sound Like ping really like oh

Oh So like relief. Yeah, that's what sex is relief. It's not enjoyment. No, it's enjoyment, but it's like there is there's a big relief There's a big relief when I get enjoyed. I'm like when I'm happy. I'm like, yeah, let's go, you know Like I like I'm like very pumped. Yeah, but I'm not like excited when having why not you should be It's not like it's not like excited like like I'm on a roller coaster It's a different kind of there's more like anger Yes, but I I think that a lot of like what people expect the sounds to be during sex now are from porn Like the girls like needs to be like

Yeah, the guy needs to be like Senpai senpai Muddled my pee pee senpai I do think But like How do we know Like what noises kim Kardashian's making on a roller coaster. We know what kind of noise she's making during sex that we do Well, we don't know that might have been a show

I think we know that might have been a show I don't know. I don't know. I'm not gonna she might have changed she might have changed through the years She might have matured. She might have went from a oh to like a yeah One of those is way more mature than the other. I was gonna say that's the that's the progression. Yeah, that's the progression What's the ultimate mature noise? Wow You want to be having sex with a woman and they go Whoa

Think about that. Like how impressed like it's impressed enough during sex. Maybe afterwards. Wow. Maybe afterwards. No, like in it Like oh my god, whoa That's fucking dope. That's so weird. That's the ultimate fucking sign of respect. No, no, you know That's like the purple the purple heart of sex. You just gotta go I No, not for me. I think so not for me But on the roller coaster, you're getting noises that you never you didn't you never knew dude. Oh my god. That's such a funny part

of uh Dating is like you meet a person and like they're visually appealing And you hang out with them for like the first 15 minutes. You're like, this is great But then you just wait and you find the thing you find and sometimes it's like they're laughing. It's like You're like I have to go home Not even just to laugh, but it's like when something stupid happens like they trip and they're like And it's like that's that's the worst one because that there's no coming back from yeah It's like the the snl skit. Uh, you remember when uh, you know what wake go ahead. You're you're you're your show

I was gonna say you know what bothers me a lot go ahead When someone finds something so funny that I don't that like something that would make you go But they're like dying laughing. I'm like I get so mad chill out. It bothers me so much. Yeah, I don't know why Yeah, I can see that so if I was on a date with someone and something happened or like they like tripped or something I'd be like, oh, you okay? Like, okay, like whatever and they're just like I just I don't know how like

I just I feel like my it's all right my grandma fell down It's okay. Like you can just walk away at that point. Yeah, I'd be like it's not that funny guys. Please stop It's not I I am right there with you. I just tripped over them. I didn't even see I am right there with you Or like if they I remember I I had like years and years and years ago dated a girl Who like it wasn't her laugh that was annoying but like before she last she was like And I was like oh silent. Oh, no the silent. I remember being like no coming back from this Or snorting snorting's crazy. Snorting's not bad because I snort sometimes. Well, yeah, like sometimes but to have like a consistent snort I mean like every time it's like

Like just constant like yeah, I'd get them a fucking like breathing strip or something. Yeah, but I think you might have sleep Yeah, I'd get him the mask and be like, yeah, chill out. It's like you have laugh apnea. Yeah But hey man, if he is dating kim Kardashian good for him good for them kudos Um, she just hosted snl. I feel like that's where he meets most of these people Well, yeah, because like That's all you need I'll tell you and like what what is it about him though? Like he's got to be like the most fucking like charming I think that he's funny. Like he's got to be like hilarious behind this. I think

From the outside looking in I think he just has a lot of like Like humility like he's like a celebrity. He's like a very big celebrity now But he's not like he doesn't move that way. He doesn't give a fuck. Yeah So I think that's attractive to people especially in industry where people like really care about image really care about whatever And he's just like not that Yeah, I think it also could be I think like the trend is that now he's also not like a super tattooed bad white boy Yeah, I mean Fox mgk her sister What's the which one is the sister travis barker and but

Courtney or chloe courtney courtney and travis barker Her and p david sin. Yeah, who's next? Who's like a super tattoo white boy these are the island boys. They're going to be dating like megan the stallion and saviti So The only two like current like female rappers that I know of Yeah, I don't know bro, but Yeah, good friend. Yeah, I mean, you know, you know I'm saying I wish all the happiness in the world I really do and when they want to hang out with me also like

Pete I feel like p david's got he's gotten better looking as the years have gone on Um, you you could argue I Remember years ago someone wrote an article and it was like p david sin has but whole eyes And like does have a grand day came out It was like it's because he has an autoimmune disease and like people were like, hey I got one too. Don't have but whole eyes. Yeah, you know, it's true Um, he is like when I close my eyes

I see like him the lead singer the gorillas Jack scaling too. I don't even know what they look like the like the lead singer the girl is like the animated You know like the teeth are all got parts in it and like they're just like And they're white. Yeah, you know jack skellington Anyone that lives or works in hot topic, you know those types I don't know. I like wearing a misfits t-shirt I don't I don't necessarily not to get the the appeal of p david sin, but on this level I don't think anyone could have foreseen this

Listen, we were really thrown for a loop with ariana grande Well, I mean that's I mean that's different though because like they're the same age. She dated mac miller And like he's a like he's he was a very likable dude Yeah, but like that wasn't like that was like I think that was people like saw that as like his ceiling like she's a huge star She is such a massive star. Well also like, okay, so no one's like, oh my god. Kate Beckinsale They're saying that because that she's like quite a couple years older than him. She's beautiful. Kim kids might be older than her Kim Kardashian you think is older than Kate Beckinsale, bro. How long is Kate Beckinsale? She's gotta be in her late 40s maybe

Kim K is like, I think just pushing 40 maybe what She's this bitch is 48 Kate Kate Beckinsale Bro, this woman is might be one of the most attractive people all the time then beautiful 48 Kim is 41. Okay. Yeah, but still like yo, you're you're 41 because like he was dating Kate Beckinsale and he was like 25 Well, I think he's my age. No, I think he's a year younger than I said, why we're the same age I think he's a year younger than us. So is he 29

I thought he was 28 He is Bro, it's good. Oh, no. Yeah, he's turning 28. His birthday is next month. This month this month 93 So he's turning. Yeah, so he's a year younger than us Fuck dude. Good for him, man. Yeah, good for him. He's got a fucking fat rocket apparently. Does he? Yeah, dude Really? He's got a fat peep. Yeah, he's got a fucking long found Must be an impeccable sense of humor and just a fucking. Yeah, copicola in his pants Yeah, the guy's got a fucking salami rocket

Everyone has these towns in their neighborhood where like you only go to this place if you really like the person because of not only a Because it's a dumpster But because of how tough it is to get in and out of if she went to Staten Island for Pete Davidson come on, man Sign them up for a fucking. Yeah, you know join bank accounts. She's in love with this, dude I think I would even go on record and saying this I think that When it comes to this little how you doing? Yeah that because I don't think they're gonna like date long term or anything like that

I think they're just like fucking hooking up and just like whatever But I think that she's more into him than he's into her Well, that might be part of the allure, you know, probably he's like, you know, like, oh, whatever You know, like she's cool. And then she's just like imagine your fucking 27 year old son Bringing home Kim Kardashian. Yeah, that would be that would be kind of crazy. And you have to walk. Hey mom Fucking Kim Kardashian. Yeah, I'd like my son is just like, you know what it is too like thinking back on her previous relationship

she was with someone who was quite I mean if it's not been open like discussed like Kanye or yay, whatever we call him Most likely suffers from several mental illnesses. So does Pete but like Pete is like, yeah And I've got it under control. You know what I mean? Like he goes. He's like, yeah, I go to therapy. Yeah, you know And Kanye was like, I don't need therapy. I am therapy. You know, and it's like, you know, chill out I am there, you know, like but maybe that's what she likes, you know, she went

He could not have gotten them over opposite end of the spectrum. She went from Fucking deranged possibly narcissistic a black musician to And white kid from Staten Island white kid from Staten Island with tattoos It's kind of wild and uh There's this this kid that I know Eric Dulles Andrew. He's a comedian. He's from Staten Island and he was like He's like, yo, say we is so true. He's like say what you feel about Pete Davidson

But this kid got like bullied when he was living in Staten Island And he brought Kim Kardashian to like a pizzeria in Staten Island. Like that is like the ultimate flex. Yeah, it's super flex. Yeah That was definitely her first time there and she was like, oh, this is cool. Nice. That's fucking never come here again Yeah, I mean, they probably, you know bought the whole block shut it down You know, and then they went to eat and then left Yeah, I don't know but that's that's uh It's intense. You let me ask if you had uh, yep Listen to what I'm saying. Okay. If you would like courted like who else is like a mega star

Bigger than Kim Kardashian. Yeah I have no idea. She's like the ultimate. Just give me someone Beyonce Beyonce if you had courted Beyonce. Yeah Would you be able to perform? What does that mean like would you be able to like Work You know getting formation so to say in what way like your dick is your dick gonna work Is it gonna be hard? Like is your like bro, think of the pressure that comes with that bro. You have Beyonce bro If I have to pop a hole in it and fill it with air from my mouth

I will the focum that we spoke about on the focum Yeah, no, no, what? Yeah That is like the last thing I would be you know, I am I am super in my head about everything. I'd be like Oh my god, you know like what? Oh, no, I would be super fucking in my head and I'd be like, yo like Kanye Uh, fucking redgy bush. Oh, I wouldn't That's true. You know, what was his name? Uh, Blake Uh, who's the big doofus that she married Chris Humphries Chris Humphries, you know like boy Those are some big shoes to fill literally and figuratively. Yeah

Ray J Not that very not that bad actually. I'm okay. I'm okay. Yeah, but like yeah, I I I mean, no, I I would You know That would be a lot Joey I mean, I guess with Beyonce it's not back. Jay-Z's ugly as fuck, but like redgy bush is a good-looking dude. Yeah, you know Yeah, yeah I'm not thinking about redgy bush though. Like I'm not I would be thinking about redgy bush any time I think about redgy bush. Maybe like once every two months

I might go that highlight tape from college was crazy. Why but I don't think about Kim Kardashian I forgot about that. She told me that that bowl game against fucking Texas Him going against Vince Young. I didn't even start. It was london white iconic. How did he pan out iconic? Oh, how did redgy bush pan out? I mean, he played a little longer than london white. I think london white was was in Tennessee for a little bit Not very good. What are you gonna do? USC? Shout out. Yeah Um, that's all that's my dream. That was my dream school when I was in middle and high school in the U.S. Yeah, mine was Miami

That makes sense You go all the time. Yeah Now I don't go there for the school. Well, that's school that 2000 or 2003 roster like one. I think 2001 2001 banana sandwich They're like third string running backwards frank or Yeah And andre johnson jeremy shawky The defense that's not good. Ed Reid Sean Taylor jonathan vilma

Sean Taylor Sean Taylor What a time. Smart roll. What a time I think uh, was it uh, Samari Roll's brother was on there too, right on troll? He's younger, I think. Oh, okay Whatever, but anyway football sports ball football stuff Where can they find you frank at alvarez 8085 on twitter the frank alvarez on twitch Sorry and instagram and then check out the patreon patreon.com slash the basement yard get exclusive content every single friday if you sign up for that second tier that first year

Guess what these weekly episodes you get them a week in advance get in on the jokes before anyone else does and guess what? We are back, baby santa gato studios is back every single wednesday new videos There's a punch up there if you didn't know what we're back go watch them come back here go back there great content So go check it out santa gato studios on youtube Yes, you guys can follow me at joe santa gato on youtube On uh everything I guess go follow the show at the basement yard on tiktok and instagram and that is all see you guys next time peace peace