The Basement Yard - #324 - Never Go Full Ghetto Hyena

Episode Date: December 13, 2021

Frank & Joe talk about Will Smith's sex addiction and how he referred to himself as going "full ghetto hyena" after a breakup. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome back to the basement yard Frank. How's it going? It seems to be going well I just said this before we started the show, but Franky reminds me of the evil guy from Doug I just said his name Roger Klotz. There it is. Okay, but that's how I described it I didn't know his name. Well, you should get better with this stuff. You know, it's not that hard to remember true Guys before we start go to studio Dash NYC comm to get the new Do stuff. I'm not calling it merch. We're building this like a legitimate clothing brand. Oh, wow Yeah, the new brand. It's just it's just close. It's just so everything's standing out of studios now. It's like vintage
Starting point is 00:00:35 Yeah, why don't you got it? You got it, but it's dead. It's dead forever. Well, yeah, we'll figure it out It's dead forever like uncle Ben always dead forever. Well, it depends what what timeline you're in. No, he's dead You're always. Oh, cool. Yeah. Um, wait. Oh, I thought you were talking about spider-man uncle Ben That's exactly what I'm talking about. I think you're talking about beans. No because beans uncle Ben's dead That's the rice uncle Ben. No, he makes beans. He makes beans too. Yeah, I thought it was just rice No, they got that guy off the cans uncle Ben and Jemima Good night gone. That's somehow worse. What? Killing them off to like make it like oh, it's called like the red mill now or something like that. Yeah, it's a weird fucking name
Starting point is 00:01:13 Yeah, it's like it's the same we've been doing this for centuries and it's like well well getting what? Removing black people you fucking freaks Yeah But yeah, I was terrified this morning I wanted to start this by telling you that I nearly lost my life this morning. I almost died the other day too Well, first of all, I was kidding. Oh, I really almost died the other day. How did you almost? Oh wait? Oh, I told you Yeah, my car just decided it almost had me die Yeah, do you want to tell that story real quick?
Starting point is 00:01:42 You tell your story first then we'll get to mine. Okay yours is probably way more fun. Well, yeah Well, I didn't almost die. Okay, but basically there's there's guys my building is repainting this to Balconies in the whole building So there's like a cherry picker outside and there's like guys who are just like hopping out painting balconies apparently I have no fucking idea. No clue, but I didn't know this but yesterday he did like they two guys just hopped up on my fucking terrorists Unbeknownst to me. Yeah, you didn't be known. I didn't I didn't even say that word right unbeknownst is correct But you did not be known. I was not now, but yeah, you're not known right
Starting point is 00:02:21 unbeknownst And they were behind me and they just were paint and like I thought it was a bird that flew black I saw like a shadow or something and I'll fucking I turn around there's two got two gentlemen big of a bird It's gonna make that big of a shadow. What do you think they're fucking like condors flying in the story? Yeah, bro. First of all, I've seen a condor in real life. Those are big birds. I Pretty sure they're extinct Joey. Oh, then I saw a big bird with a similar name when I was in Utah I was like, yeah, what the fuck? Yeah, I could be wrong and there was that there was some hick guy who had spikes on his shoes and he was like
Starting point is 00:02:53 It's condor. Maybe you know what I'll believe him. I don't take me But I I thought maybe it's like griffins griffins are the ones that are fake griffin door Yeah, like griffins are not real because they were like lion birds or something like that. What the fuck you fucking imagined hell No, can you imagine a flying lion? No, I refuse that would be terrifying. No, I I almost died in a non-cool way Oh, I know I didn't even get to the dead. Oh the dead part go the dead part was that this happened yesterday And then this morning at 8 a.m. Which is prime cock out hours. Oh, you were you well? No, I wasn't I wasn't dicking out, but sometimes I do dick out
Starting point is 00:03:31 You know if you take a shower you come your dick out. Hold on I just want to make sure we're very clear about this you live in a place my is mostly windows Yeah, but I'm off the floor. It doesn't matter where you are people could I honestly when I walk by the building I look up I could see sometimes like yeah, so you're just you don't even care Well, I know I not really that's a good question If it if you're walking dick out in your own home in front of windows like are you held liable? Oh, no, oh of indecent Yeah, oh, I don't think so. That's a good question. We should speak to lawyers about it. Yeah Oh, well, I don't think I think we'll be okay. Yeah, no one's gonna be like that man six floors up
Starting point is 00:04:07 You never know man unless I was out of my balcony and I was fucking twirling it well Hey, yeah, well if you could do a dick copter which speak it up by the way, that's a good That's a good little peepee copter reference that you got there Oh from the Patriot we didn't talk about something like this similar on patreon Which you could check out a patreon.com slash a basement yard one of my more favorite episodes we've ever done I'd be honest. I gotta say it was electric quite. Yeah, and I think I think we learned something about each other that day about What kind of work self-worth we have I just to sum it up for people that haven't seen it Frankie would do a lot for a little no, that's not true for not much
Starting point is 00:04:43 It's what I said for fifty eight hundred not a little thing and I was like all right four thousand That's still a lot of money. No, yeah, but we're talking about the other stuff. Well. Yeah, all right All right, maybe just saying well go check it out patreon.com slash a basement yard to fucking wow Yeah, but anyway eight eight a.m. I will I get I come into my room I'm in my boxers, and I just turn around and there's a guy literally standing because my room is connected to the terrace So the window it's like right there So he was but it was basically just a sheet of glass separating me and this man Mm-hmm as if he was my incarcerated father or something, okay, and I we both looked at each other and I was like
Starting point is 00:05:19 What is your dad in jail? No, I'm saying if he had been incarcerated got separated by windows gotcha. I got you know I'm saying But yes, so he scared the fucking shit out of me, and I gasped and then he just went Hey, and then he they left all right They came down answer this question really quick. Don't think about it three two one more race was he Spanish wow you race as fuck You notice he's Spanish Wow He is Hispanic you were scared, but if it was a white man up there you'd be like Yeah, he's just a white guy in my balcony like fucking. Hey, man. Definitely not Also, you'd be also how would I react answer this question if I turned around and it happened to be a
Starting point is 00:05:54 Young girl in a dress. Oh, you'd be in trouble because she'd be dead wait. Why because I that would scare the shit Oh, it's like a kid. Oh, yeah, I thought you might like a 15-year-old girl like oh just on your balcony No, no, no, what the fuck I don't know. That's why I met like a fucking like a four-year-old in a drive like demon throw a rough Oh, yeah, I mean, well, that's that's tough. Are you gonna put your hands on a demon? I Mean if she gets close to me if she gets close. She's got she passes through the wall. He's got a kick I'll kick yeah, you know for real I swear I saw a video today of a fucking raccoon charging a man and I was like yo the guy started to run I was like yo, I'm stepping back nah, and I am unloading the hardest kick. Yo like
Starting point is 00:06:35 2004 kickball Frank yeah, dude. I am letting this thing fucking fly. I'm I'll send a fuck it. Yo, that's honestly my worst fear That's why I'm afraid of squirrels You're afraid of squirrel mad afraid of squirrels. Yeah, they're fast I will fucking quick fucks and like I don't think they realize the power that they possess because they're way too They could get up to my brain like without a blink of the eye Oh, you will flay all hard enough to get them out of there. Yeah, but dude. Yeah, they're like they could climb trees I can't get this thing off me. Yeah, you can definitely get it off you bro. No the nice quick trees don't throw Also, it's not a thing. I want to touch either. You're right. They are
Starting point is 00:07:09 Yeah, you'd be upset and they're pretty fucking gross and who knows what they're carrying. I'm with you on that one But yeah, I mean could be worse things that you find on your balcony You've also had like dead birds out there. How did dead bird out there months? It was there for months and decomposed into your balcony Yeah, like I remember you actively said like you're just gonna let it just like rot at a certain point because at first It was laziness then it was pure curiosity of being like, oh When are the bones showing up? Yeah, I'm gonna be able to see these bones You know, I think there was also one time where hey, don't me to put you on blast
Starting point is 00:07:43 I think your dog pooped out there and you were like the rain will get it My dog doesn't poop out there. There was a there was some sort of poop out there Where there'd be a fucking oh No, no, no, I know you're talking about yeah, no he pooped out there one time in the snow And I was like, yeah, that's that and it stayed well because it snowed Yeah, and then that's snowed on top of the poop and I was like my gotta go dig and find poop And then it just you know, yeah, it just eventually eventually it just fucking became pixels But it's okay because they're repainting it and it's everything's gonna be fine. Yeah, it looks great out there
Starting point is 00:08:18 I mean as it is. I don't think it needs another coat of paint Well, they haven't painted the full thing with the fuck are you talking about I'm saying like it looks great Like it's it's always looked great. It didn't look like it needed any paint. Yeah, yeah I don't know the guy y'all my god the guy who manages this building Reminds me of Tony Soprano like literally I've seen him. He looks he kind of looks like a little bit He's a fat fuck, but Jesus Christ. Yeah, he's gonna watch. I don't know he might he said that his Someone like a someone knows me. So maybe sorry. He's not a fat fuck. He's just he's a he's a powerful Yeah, it's hyperbole for the sense of comedies. He's portly
Starting point is 00:08:55 So anyway, this guy comes in because they just showed up on my balcony and he and I was just like alright And then the management office calls me goes hey some people can be in your balcony today They're gonna be like repainting is that cool? And I was like, oh, they've been here for 15 minutes Yeah, and they're like, oh, okay, then he comes up, right? He brought a storm with him. He knocks on my door. There's some woman there who didn't say a word the entire time But he opens up the door and he goes alright He's like is it cool if we have people come to the balcony and I was like, yeah They just called me like he's they've been here for like 20 minutes dude was heated. Yeah, just piss
Starting point is 00:09:29 You haven't like why would they do that? And he took his shoes off. Oh, that's very respectful to the Japanese thing Took his shoes off and then he walked through my apartment and then he got to the The balcony put his shoes back on. Yeah, he let it fly. Yeah, dude He got out there and was pissed and he was saying this is what he was saying, right? I was trying out to listen. I was trying to be nice But also the windows are right there like they could see me like you gotta pretending to type You gotta listen and they were just like and he and at one point. I didn't really listen to the whole thing But at one point he goes, you want to dance with me? That's fine. I'm the best dancer
Starting point is 00:10:00 I said that everyone knows that about me. You want to dance we could dance, but I'm telling you right now You don't want to dance with me. Oh this guy was at first. I was like, yo, what are they dancing out there? I feel bad for calling him a fat fuck you might beat the dog shit out of me now Bro, you don't want to dance with this guy apparently not I'm gonna get here one day And he's gonna fucking cap a wearer kick me in the teeth if you're not wrong Because he like he was talking about dancing a shit. I was like listen to kill someone Salvatore. I'm sorry I don't his name is George. Well Salvatore sounded a little more like, you know, it would fit better. Yeah I guess George is not a cool name. Well
Starting point is 00:10:33 There's some dangerous people named George. I mean this guy's one of the best dancers in the neighborhood No one wants to dance. I'm not him. He's also been like nothing, but incredibly nice to me That's great. You've also had a history of just like angry landlords, bro My last landlord was out of his fucking noggin We used to stop in the middle of the day like when when me you Danny and Josh were there We would all stop and we would listen and we would just hear this guy Just he was either a Verbally just fucking the penis out of someone is pulverizing people or
Starting point is 00:11:04 He was watching saving Private Ryan on fucking Sound Blast 800 literally this is not a joke non-exaggeration my old landlord would would 3 a.m. It would be you'd hear like are you not entertained and then sorts Clashing bombs guns. I'm like, yo, you're watching three movies at once, dude And it was literally I'm not even kidding not exaggerating the slides that literally would happen I was there for it when it was like 2 p.m. On like a Wednesday or he would just get fucking pissed off at someone and just Be screaming at them on the phone. I remember we would stop. He always had a piece of spit connecting He might be another great dancer, I don't want to fucking build my you know, yeah
Starting point is 00:11:49 I don't my gravy even deeper. I don't know about that guy's dancing Experience, but apparently I'll tell you this He's got all the shoes for him that guy mad shoes. Oh, yeah, literally. I think 150 pairs of shoes all outside of his apartment door. Yep, and 90% of them converse just different colors Yep, red white black gray green blue Neon red hot pink like yo everything dude cream Cream a lot of them cream cream cream cream, but my my almost dying story was not as cool. Cool because I was on my way here
Starting point is 00:12:26 so I left of my you know my house and I was on my way here and I got onto like at the end of my street. There's a road, but it's like a like a state route You know that like you take to get it's like a service road. Yeah, basically to get on to the parkway And I'm fucking going like 35 40 Bro, like at a Grand Theft Auto the hood of my car pops up and smacks against my windshield I'm sorry. What the fuck? I'm like, I'm a pretty chill like driver I don't get like super fucking angry or road rage or anything. So I was like able to like chill I was like, oh, what the fuck and I was able to like see underneath the hood where like, you know
Starting point is 00:13:05 You didn't just slam on the brakes. No because I didn't know who was behind me So I just fucking started slowing down look behind me No one I could see under like where the hood in the windshield meet that like arch See, no one's in front of me. So I just stop in the middle of the road So I'm like, all right, you know, I go and I try to fucking close it. It's not closing So I'm like, bro. Thank God. I wasn't on the parkway when this happened parkway. I'm going like 75 80. You're dead. I Felt when it went up I felt the fucking like everything start to tense up because then you're fighting the wind. Yeah, and it was a pretty windy day
Starting point is 00:13:38 Dude, that's how boats work. I got home and sailboats back. It was like, yeah, that could have been it I was like, yeah, yeah, dude. My back is itchy. Yeah, you're trying. I almost I was trying to squeeze out Oh, I was like, I could oh my god. It could have went down Yeah, oh my god, my feet hurt so much from almost dying Yeah, you know just like try to I'm stepping on the brakes. She was like, all right, relax Yeah, you know, but yeah, man You could have been you could have had you would have had to do a whole like dedication episode It could have been a whole episode of like, dude, that would be rising me just like one
Starting point is 00:14:13 One one sad episode and then back right back You keep that up just to fucking memorialize me Who's that? Say it's my friend. He's my friend. He's my dead friend. He's mad dad. Yeah And then you just get right back to it, right? And then I would hope yeah afterward You would make all the dead Frank jokes. Oh my god, like yo Frank dead used to tell me, you know Yeah, just like really like let it fly. Yeah, just rip that sunset. You see that something. Yeah, it's kind of beautiful I'm kind of nice. It's kind of cute actually really enjoying that. Sorry. I saw it like
Starting point is 00:14:48 You saw what I saw the light there I thought off the building and then I was like, I need to check this out. Yeah, anyway before we again to our first round of Ads, I really do want to talk about something that is near and dear to me and Frankie's hearts And it's about making fucking money Is there's if there's one thing you should know about me and Frankie is that we're bag chasers, okay? Definitely you Thank you for looping me in on that you are mr. Bag chaser So if you know if you're on patreon, you know this but me and Frankie we're out here in a new market And we're gonna be selling some farts. I'm right some fart videos and guess what?
Starting point is 00:15:24 I mean, we already have one suitor. We're in we're in heavy negotiations Heavy negotiations to work something out to get this individual our farts. Yeah, and We're trying to come up with a price right now. We're really like talking it out and really like you know I'm saying and I don't like to I hate the term, you know, like whoring yourself out, but I'm a fart whore No, I do I'll yo dude someone's getting this brown fucking noise Bro, think about it Like if you can like people are always like yo like the dream is like not not having a work day in your life Cuz you love what you do. Yeah, bro if you love farting, bro, let me tell you what's there for you
Starting point is 00:16:01 There's a hole. There's an opportunity. There's a world. You know, I mean, there's a whole world of just farting Yeah, Frankie had sent me a screenshot of this Twitter account and the guy was like a fart slave Which I didn't know existed till now But it was like a fart slave and then he was retweeting dudes who were like yo I'm gonna like spit in your loser throat. You remember that He was like I forgot about that He's like you got a loser throat I screenshot that and just quoted loser throat over and over again. Yeah, the funniest shit. I've heard loser throws pretty electric
Starting point is 00:16:33 Bro, that is incredible. I love that. Just calling anything that you have just a loser Yeah, it's just like oh, what do you look at with your loser eyes? Yeah, it's like it's so it's so it fucking twist the knife There's there's some fin dom going on. There's a little bit of fin dom a little bit of which is financial Dom not like fins like, you know You know like on sharks like mammals and stuff. I I saw I think there was one that was like gay bitch boy You know like money money bitch. Oh money. I've seen money money bitch Come money whore come money. I might it might be in there But in that world you're mixing up some whores. No, trust me. I'm there's come money whores out there
Starting point is 00:17:12 I mean, I don't I'm not gonna say no Really? I'm not gonna like I I'm you're not gonna deny. Yeah. Okay. All right. It's like how I feel ghosts You know saying yeah, I don't want to be on their bad side. I don't want to be on the bad side of come money whores You definitely don't you know, you're either on the good side or the receiving end and trust me Yeah, I can imagine one of those is not fun. You know what come tributes are No No, no, I don't if you had a guess what come tributes are I
Starting point is 00:17:46 Would assume they're like you make a video of like compilations of things that make you come So like if I'm like fartslave, yeah, yeah, if it's like, you know farting, you know Poopy poopy hand the hentai You know just shit like that just like things that make me come like like a highlight reel, right? You know, just like hi, I'm Frank. Here's my come tribute and it's like, you know, wow That's impressive. He he comes from farts. So it's like a sports center top ten exactly. Yeah You know, no, it's not that oh Wait, am I like even close?
Starting point is 00:18:25 Kind I don't know. Okay. Uh, it's a it's but it's when some a dude will take a picture of him Ejaculating onto a picture of a celebrity or something. Oh, so like a Selena Gomez like Contribute is like it's like a it's you know what I mean? It's like if they gave they gave a picture of it's like It's like look at what I can do because of you like it's like it's like no I think it's kind of like in fucking saluting you. I'm saluting you with my cum About it being a salute as I mean it you're calling it a tribute. Well, yeah, I don't know why they have the name I don't I don't pick the names Frank. I mean, let's let's look at the the fucking Definition of the term tribute. It's like when you offer something as tribute. It's like take this take this
Starting point is 00:19:12 It's a gift to show like my worth my my appreciation. All right, you know, or like, you know Katniss Everdeen You know like I go I offer myself a tribute like I will be the one, you know Sacrificing the sacrificial lamb. I so like come tribute. I assume is like yo like look at what you made me do I think that is there a Joe saying I got a come tribute. No, not that I I don't want to know I'm not looking that up. No, I don't want to know. Okay. I don't want to see pictures of people coming on me. I Don't know that I think there are I'm not gonna be that even though come on Here we go. Probably my feet because people are really into that you guys. I love his feet for some reason But yeah, so we're gonna be selling some farts
Starting point is 00:19:52 Well, you know if the market Requires a fart for you. Oh, just don't don't don't play it because you're giving these people free fucking damn That's true. I wanted to play it so don't play it. Don't play it What if we play it and then we send it before this goes out? Well, can we time stamp it? Can we say like at the end of it an NFT at the end? Can we just say like yo like fucking the fart is product TM Senate got a studios incorporated 20 20 buh-buh-buh I'm pretty sure I have a fart in here Because you were you're saying like yo set one off. I was like, all right, go ahead set it off. I'm trying to find is this it
Starting point is 00:20:31 Okay, it's a little cutie. It's not really good. Oh cutie. I don't know if we can get even eight bucks for that I mean listen, it's not about what it is. It's about where it's coming from. You know, it's the it's the destiny It's the travel. It's the journey not the destination. Okay, you know, like that's that's what's most important You don't read a book for the last page. You read it to see how it gets there Yeah, but this is like your favorite artist coming out with an album you get so excited for it's like four years in the making and then There's four songs. I mean, hey man, any publicity is public good publicity, right? I guess even if you have a bad fart people are like, yo, but you heard that Joe Santa got a fart. I Guess so it's very it's very true. You're making me feel better. I think I'm in a corner the fart fart market the market
Starting point is 00:21:09 How do you how do you park it? How do you plan on doing? I think if I just you know, like my mentality behind regular business and entrepreneurialism That's the word bring it bring it to the fart world I really think I could fucking do great like think about it Everyone if I give you a brand or some world of you know business, you there's automatically one person that sticks out You know if I say, you know computers, it's Bill Gates or Steve Jobs. Yeah, exactly if I say social media
Starting point is 00:21:41 I Mr. Beast Okay. All right. Yeah, that's fine. But like when Paul there you go, you know or social media marketing like websites Facebook okay, you know what I mean Twitter. Yeah, so I want people to go farting Frank Frank Alvarez Frank Alvarez you want to be the king ping I think the King King bang the king bang I'm gonna be king paying the king paying the king paying a farting Listen, someone's got to do it. Yeah, we have a kingpin of um drugs. I mean, there's a couple Well, there's a lot of them. Yeah, they don't always turn out well
Starting point is 00:22:25 No, I know he's gonna call by spider-man in the movies. Yeah that they do. Yeah, why'd you say spider-man like it's his last name? I Don't know. It's like oh, this is John spider-man Um, I want people to say like yo like Carefully don't don't push your fart cuz like the fart gangbanging is coming for you Oh, like hold in hold them in like no like you can you can do it you think you could like I want I want a chokehold on the Fart market. Yeah, yeah, put your throat on the market son of a bitch. Yeah Do you think that you could sell I'm giving this one away, okay? Fart NFTs, right? So I start farting into I start setting it off in my phone all the time
Starting point is 00:23:09 Yeah, right. I'm just like anytime I got a link punk wink. Yeah, I'm just like over here with my phone I'm just rear and I'm letting them fucking go into my phone Yeah, yeah, and then I sell those NFTs So you being a fartslave you would pay for it anyway But now what you get to do is you pay a premium and you get to own that fart forever forever because Farts like snowflakes and fingerprints cannot be replicated that and they will never be the same Well, you can replicate a fingerprint, but you can't like it's individual You know it's unique to that specific exactly. You'll never see or hear the same fart ever again. Give me some ethereum
Starting point is 00:23:47 I'll let you I'll let you own one of these brown noises I'm letting you know right now that new incredible studios dash NYC website that we have and I put we in there I Am letting you know we need to just put a page on there That's like yo by a fart by a fart by a video of me spitting or but You know like there needs to be a kink I can there has to be a kink NFT market And there I mean I can almost guarantee that there already is one Yeah, but it's not been spearheaded by the likes of two incredible New York young men entrepreneurs Come on. Let's let's be serious and I really like you know real estate mogul people think of Trump, right?
Starting point is 00:24:27 You know, I don't know why I can't think of anything any other industry, you know, oh, I'm fucking fast food McDonald's Disgusting kink NFTs the Santa gato alvarez duo, right? I agree Santa Galvarez. So Santa Galvarez Alvigata Rose of it. Well, that's a little harder to say that one's okay I like that one actually I think so Alvigata Rose Alvigata Rose I'm in all right. Yeah, I'm putting on a shirt. Look out for that Alvigata Rose calm where you can buy of the best farts or just like a video of like hearing someone pee Yeah, like you won't see the pee, but you'll just hear like, you know You'll be like and you can put backstory to it
Starting point is 00:25:10 You can be like yo Frank went to a party this night and there were a lot of people outside the door Oh, so there's like fan fiction that comes with it. Oh my god We'll put fanfic bro exclusive time out time of the out we're outside of time We can't give this all away think about yeah now. It's over Good luck to whoever's gonna do this. I'll fucking sue you. I'll spend every dollar Alvarez, what is it Alvigata Rose? We also fucked that up No, so you get you know how like you buy like a
Starting point is 00:25:42 Assigned helmet, right? Mm-hmm. It comes with a certificate of authenticity. That's right. Like yo Eli Manning sign this or whatever the fuck These words be like a video of like a fart and it's like that tells the story There's like fan fiction, but also it provides authenticity of like give that the day the day he had the diet He had Taco Bell. Yes, you know what I mean? And he had like a lot of water so he was pushing out At work on his on route to record the basement yard He knew it was gonna be a farty afternoon. He was worried. Yeah, like give a whole fanfic behind it Oh my god. Yeah, I think we've just stumbled upon greatness. Yeah, I'm literally saying right now. Call your fucking lawyer
Starting point is 00:26:21 And if anyone steals this idea assume into oblivion I I don't know that I have a lawyer like on retainer, but I do know a couple of Jewish gentlemen that I think it helped us Whoa, just going with the Jewish route Did they I know some Italian lawyers Joey? Oh, I I only really am familiar with Jewish lawyers Okay, all right. Well, I guess hey big money in that my understanding in being Jewish. Yes. Yeah Anyway, so that's our empire. What's our what's the ad that we're gonna come up with now? You know what? I was gonna try and create some space between these but you want me to I'll create some space. No, okay? No, we have honey
Starting point is 00:27:01 You can use that maybe on albacadareds.com. You know what? Honey, we'll talk. We'll have a conversation. You can guys can get a probably a discount or something because honey Let me tell you if you're buying stuff online never mind what we're talking about But if you're buying actual things online, you're gonna want to download honey because it's a free browser extension that will scour the internet for the best coupons and fucking Deals and sales or whatever and they will automatically apply to your cart So that you are saving money without even trying. Okay, usually you had to type in a promo code You have to do this and that honey will do it for you
Starting point is 00:27:33 So definitely go check them out. They support over 30,000 online stores They range from sites that have tech and gaming products to popular fashion brands even food delivery So yeah, you're gonna want to have honey. I have honey on every single browser that I that I have Especially now I'm doing online shopping for Christmas I was on a couple of sites the other day shopping for my family for Christmas Honeys just over there bang apply this to your apply this coupon save 10% say 15% whatever it is It's amazing. They ever they have over 17 million members over two billion dollars in savings So it will just save you money no matter what
Starting point is 00:28:07 And it's free by the way, you don't have to pay for this at all. So that's the biggest kicker. It's free Just it takes a couple seconds download Join honey comm slash basement to get it. Okay, go to join honey comm slash basement. It is free go get it. All right, and Next year we have quip Everyone knows I'm big quip boy. All right, I'm in the bathroom. I'm with my quip and I'm getting after it All right, and it's an electric toothbrush, but they also make other products That you can use while you're in there in the bathroom getting after your mouth health Okay, they have some dentist recommended gum. That is amazing. It's actually quite addictive. I really like it a lot
Starting point is 00:28:45 They have toothpaste they have a what's that called? Floss they have floss but yeah, it's great and It's my favorite toothbrush. I've ever had it It's it's like it vibrates and it pulses every 30 seconds So you know just which sides and then I'll shut off when you're supposed to be done supposed to brush for two minutes I only know that because of quip honestly But yeah
Starting point is 00:29:08 Whatever now they have The quipple like toothbrush is loved by over 7 million mouths. Wow 7 million people have gotten this toothbrush That was there before it was cool people But if you go to get quip comm slash basement right now I'm top on top of their holiday savings You'll get your first refill for free because that is another cool thing about it They will send you new brush heads and it refills for whatever you buy for
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Starting point is 00:30:08 We have this and have this I'm like I need all that. I need it all so what happened was so people know These companies will send you a sample not a sample like a double go Here's a toothbrush and like, you know, we're doing the ads or whatever and I was like, I love this thing and then one day I dropped it on my floor and I was like Okay, and instead of whatever I went on their site and I bought Literally everything that they had like to offer it like this one big package or whatever Do it's amazing and I never have to refill like they just show up and I'm like, oh, okay. That's great. That is nice
Starting point is 00:30:44 But yeah, so anyway, couple things that I wanted to talk about Let's talk about because we were already been all over the place today. Yeah, we what were we talking about? We were talking about shitting. No, that wasn't today come come coming fart slave. Well speaking of calm Back on calm. Well, we'll call it sperm Okay Everyone okay. Yeah, no, we're gonna call it sperm because we're getting scientific now And actually you're the one who kind of brought this my attention I have I have the article brought up here
Starting point is 00:31:16 Eco-friendly plastic is made of oil and salmon sperm. So they have a new plastic Coming out, you know a 2022 new plastic that's right made from salmon Come sperm lasted five seconds. Yeah I think it's alright like it's come is like universal like you can use it for anything You know what I mean come here, but not all not all sperm has come but all come and sperm, you know what I'm saying It's like frogs and toads. I think you reverse that all sperm has come Come could be like come here. Oh, yeah, not all come is sperm. Oh No, wait, not all sperm has come but all come is for yes. Yes, you're right
Starting point is 00:31:56 You're right, you know because it comes there's something that comes with it. It packs a punch, you know, it's what sperm calm. Oh, yeah Who created how to call how did we get the calm? It's got it. It must have been like someone like I'm right here I'm right there. I'm coming. I'll be right there And then they were like, yo, like when are you gonna be coming wait? What the fuck are you talking about like during sex? Yeah, but why would they say I'm coming because like, you know, like everyone like I'm gonna orgasm is like a destination So they're like, are you there? Are you there? Are you gonna be there? I'm on my way. I'll be there. I'll be there You think that's how it started gotta be I thought yo, yo, honestly, I thought about this a lot. That's not a bad
Starting point is 00:32:37 Yeah, it is like a thing that you like and it was like I'm almost there. I'm almost there. Keep going. I'll be right there. I'm on my way. Yeah, and then the guy's like, oh, are you there yet? I'm coming to I'm two blocks away. Yeah Always a lie by the way. Yeah, never never true. They just left their place right. They are Still their hair still wet from the shower. Yeah, I was there my asshole. Yeah But it's kind of and it also must exist come from like England because no one in the US says It says it like that they're like, oh, you're almost done Like it's like finished. I hate finish. I hate like yo, you gonna finish me. I'm gonna finish you
Starting point is 00:33:12 Yeah, like what are you gonna fucking rip their spine out Sub-Zero? Yeah, it was Mortal Kombat finish you. Yeah That's how in the US review like, you know what I mean? Like I have I finished him It's like, yeah, oh, where is he take it? Yeah, and then you as Liu Kang take it if you sex is like a Mortal Kombat fatality Yeah, and it's like left right left right up back up back up jump the sense and sex But like England they were definitely like, oh my way. I'm gonna go here. I'm coming around a bend. Yeah Come around it. Hold on. I'm gonna look up Where did come originate
Starting point is 00:33:51 Seem to be modern 1973 that's right 45 years ago variant of the sexual sense of come that originated in pornographic writing Porno graphic writing it oh like books There is no like Lee sexy place This experience Hold on come Seems to be a modern by 1973 variant of sexual sense of come that originated in pornographic writing Perhaps first in the noun sense this experience sexual orgasm slang meaning of come perhaps originally come off is
Starting point is 00:34:32 Attested from 1650 in walking in a meadow green Is that a book what that's a book? It's got to be like someone wrote down like you know as the girl reaches the crescendo of maximum pleasure the man Comes yeah, like bro. Also, here he comes. Can you can you like bro? If someone's gonna use I like if can you imagine that you're having sex with a girl and she says I'm about to climax Oh, I'd be like I'll be like all right fucking scientist. What do you tell me about your labia majoris? Fucking weirdo. I'm about to climax. I'd be like Are you a knight? Yeah, what are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:35:12 It's like are we riding into battle with a climax? Yeah, but so they're making this plastic out of salmon sperm back to sperm Oh, sorry back to sperm. Yeah, I know and and oil. I think I saw a vegetable oil vegetable oil You can make in your house then news. Well, where can you just get you can't just sperm a salmon or get get it Oh, you're gonna tell me you can't go catch a salmon jerk it off in your living room. Where's the salmon dick? I'm listen, it's gotta be I'm not saying I know where it is because I don't play with Sammons a lot Yeah, I mean either but like I guarantee there's someone out there that like they're they love catching salmon and they know Exactly where salmon PPs are. Yeah, but I don't even know how to properly jerk a salmon. What are you doing?
Starting point is 00:35:53 I'm I guarantee it's not that hard Whoa a new plastic made from salmon sperm and vegetable oil could be you the most environmentally friendly version yet A team of Chinese scientists. I guess so I mean because like everything else is like there's some form of cruelty behind it But this it's like pleasure-based. You're just jerking off salmon. Yo, you know what? That's a really good way to look at it all jokes aside. Yeah, I know we torture animals for those for whatever But now we should give back we should start making them come. Yeah All these commercials like I can tell you right now the commercial will be it'll be like, you know Like the like monkeys putting on makeup, you know, and then like where where you what what just follow me here
Starting point is 00:36:36 All right, just listen. This is gonna be the Super Bowl lad in three years Okay, it start opens up monkey putting on a fucking us putting lipstick on a monkey That's trying to pull away hard to watch us stealing the calf from a Cow in order to produce a veal, you know, we'll catch a tory. Yeah, I'm a good by the way I'm very good very hard to watch. Yeah, then it's like how about something else and then That's the guy like takes a sip of a beer from a glass and like puts it down And it's just like a frothy beer on top and then it's like let's give back to the animal kingdom
Starting point is 00:37:14 Yeah, and then it you know, I don't know what the name of it will be, you know, I assume something with come something come And it's like coming soon Coming soon. Oh, yeah, you know, stop fucking killing these animals and taking their young You know imagine being a chicken be like, you know, I got like these like, you know I'm about to have like quintuplets. No, they're gone and they're scrambled in someone's kitchen, right, you know And now and be like, yo instead like let's take whites this morning. Oh I hope you feel good about yourself. Well Instead we can start like jerking animals off to get in like making things with their like their their their stuff
Starting point is 00:37:49 They're stuff. Yeah, I agree. I think that we started. That's a long-winded way to say that we should jerk off animal Think of the possibilities. I know I agree man. I agree snake come ready. Whoa, dude That sounds like expensive or like bald eagle jizz, bro Do we do all animals? I don't I don't know. I think some of them I don't I think some of them just like decide they want to have kids Yo, I just typed into Google do all animals sperm that's what I wrote Despite performing the same very same function in all animal species fertilizing eggs sperm are the most diverse cells found amongst animals Every animal sperm has evolved to meet the needs of an individual animal. Oh, so all of them have all of them have it
Starting point is 00:38:35 This is a big full big world full of gum think of the cool things We're making cups out of salmon and vegetable oil. Yeah, we can make knives out of snake come Yeah, or venom. Oh, no, that's we can make you know, like prosthetic legs out of eagle come. Yeah, just like good stuff Well, I think you you probably not the eagle is probably like a rhino rhino elephant Giraffes dude mix it up in a cup You know and then just say like yo this this this leg right here this prosthetic leg was made of the finest come Animal come. Yeah
Starting point is 00:39:08 It is created from short strands of DNA the substance that carries genetic code when you know what DNA is you fucking pretentious fuck What does it stand for quick? DNA yeah, oh That I don't know. Okay, was it was a stand for I know Ruby Ruby nucleic acid Rope I'm the R part might be up messed up. There is no R. It's it's rubio nucleic or something like that It's ribo ribo. It might be ribo nucleic acid. Yeah, we all care When you get that question next week at fucking trivia night, then you'll care Joey Yeah, it was yesterday. I didn't go damn it
Starting point is 00:39:44 The researchers obtained their new raw material from salmon sperm although just about any living thing is a potential source So even they're thinking about like you know first of all, why would you start with him? I think they're the easiest to catch bro salmon or tough to catch No, they swim upstream. It's a strong bear's catch them in their mouth. I can guarantee that humans stand bro They can jump out of the fucking water. Yeah, and we have thumbs We don't need fucking teeth to catch these things fucking jump out a hug it But you can't find something easier bro. No, I mean what what's easier of an animal to catch slug Yeah, yeah, significantly easier like a little easier
Starting point is 00:40:20 also like They're like covered any dog. Oh Well dog come like you're getting into you know, that's a that's a slippery slope there. This oh, we're talking about a fucking Slippery slope here. Yeah, okay, but a good one. I think we agreed on how do they just like who discovered that this would work Who had like their cup of certain salmon sperm just like the Chinese? Bro, it says the Chinese sign. I know it's not a guess. This says Chinese No, no, this says shiny a team of Chinese scientists. Oh, well, then we have to hate it as Americans Why are we are we still against that everyone in America? It's like oh, where's that from China?
Starting point is 00:40:57 Oh, wow, you fucking have fun in communism China in 2028. It's like yo chill man Also, I haven't been to China yet, but I would love to go. I don't know if I would go to China I'm gonna give him. I'm gonna let it Marinate a little bit, but if you do just bring you back some tea. That's all I ask No, dude, you think I'm gonna travel back with tea. I would hope so That would be very kind. Here's some Chinese tea. I really really kind of you That's where it was originated, you know Yeah, I know
Starting point is 00:41:34 It's good love tea I do I love it tea It's it's just like it's just cool and it tastes awesome and like the fact that there's not cool bro brought these cool Coffee's the cooler. No coffee. Cool coffee's only cool because it's been bastardized by the fucking people in America bastardized I'm right. You son of a bitch. Okay. Take it easy But like bro tea is just like the flavor profile You can get from this little leaf that comes from the same exact plant and like you know all the like the tech Wow and all the shit that goes into it. Yeah, you're not gonna say that on that You're gonna say that go ahead. Go ahead say it again tech watch
Starting point is 00:42:09 Do you not know what that is? Do you not know that is fucking no It's like look at me Frank. Do I know anything? Well, bro It's also a thing in wine and I know you and you're like seconds away from being a wine snob first of all No, I'm not I just drank the stuff. Yeah, well, you'll be there I don't know what I guarantee call up Gabe and ask him like yo like what's tech wine? Oh, no, exactly. What is that about? It's the variables that are around the plant that go into the way it tastes the environment that it's in how hard it needs to
Starting point is 00:42:38 Work in order to bloom that the type of soil When it's picked You don't know what we're talking about right now tea tea tea bro. It's fucking cool. What is tea? It's like Lee It's trees. It's a little it's a plant. That's it. That's so weird Can you grow your own tea technically you can yeah, I have not I haven't gotten to it yet Maybe I'll get you there for all tea. That would be that would be really cool all tea comes from the same plant white tea black tea green tea Oolong tea
Starting point is 00:43:07 Oolong yeah, oh, we can know we can don't care wait How can it all be for the same plant but tastes different because it's about one It's about where it comes from in the world and two it's about how it's manipulated So there are different processes. So all you guys you got to trick the leaves You got to trick the leaf exactly the different ways that it could be manipulated to make it taste different So like white tea is picked when it's smaller in buds But then also you can do the stay green process Which is what most green teas are where they're heated up either in China
Starting point is 00:43:34 They're heated up in like big walks or in Japan. They're heated up using fucking steam Oh, it's so cool, bro. It's so cool. Also huge fan of walks Walks are cool. I could know I don't have the frame to walk I have a lot. I don't have the frame to be able to handle that properly. No the ones where they're like Shaffas it's crazy that I've seen so many videos of these little Asian men Controlling these gigantic walks filled with ten like 40 pounds of food and just fucking rockin it Bro when I was in college, I got a sore back from opening a door too many times
Starting point is 00:44:10 I'm telling you right now. Those guys have most jacked fucking lats. Oh my god in America Just fucking destroy. I got it. We're like they have like the spoon in the back and they're like Yeah, they're doing like three things at one. I'm like, you know, this is like one of these Exactly like that and they're getting that food up there, baby. Yeah, the food is like what? You know, they're making it a little fucking Chinese. It's very way. It's very very hard It is an art and one that I will never master hell I way I'm afraid to touch one because I feel like I would just I would enjoy the shit out of a cup of tea in a nice salmon sperm cup I
Starting point is 00:44:47 Wonder if that would change the taste of anything. I mean I gotta you gotta be a little skeptical You gotta like, you know because no matter he print this thing no matter what yeah No matter what you got to start thinking like as soon as you get whatever cup bold utensils the first place you go is sperm come Well, yeah, does it taste like anything? Oh like how we got rid of like Paper and plastic plagues and it's like now we have like now you just you know that oh, no what I'm talking about It's like bamboo shit. I was gonna say what the fuck are you talking about? You know what that was actually also a bad example what I know
Starting point is 00:45:20 paper straws Yes, so like restaurants who have just done away with straws. Yeah, you can be like oh paper straws But now you know it's like oh if you're one of these progressive restaurants You like well, I'm drinking out of calm right now exactly exactly like you like expected You have to imagine that like there's gonna be something in your head that would be like You know when you think and try to believe something for so long You end up seeing signs for it like you use an example the other day is like you wanted to get a Range Rover And then you just suddenly saw them all over the place right same thing here
Starting point is 00:45:47 It's like when you're using something that's made of cum like you're instantly gonna be like I gotta taste something I got it. Well, yeah, you're yeah, you know, you don't want to I mean at least I don't you know Maybe you definitely you but like you're gonna start like your mind will go to a place where it's like I imagine that there's gonna be something that accompanies the fact that I'm drinking a cup of salmon come do you think that Do you do you think there would be guys who would be hypermasking about like yo, I'm not fish gay Bro, so this cup's gay. Absolutely bro. I'm not drinking this gay fish cup I'm not even gonna say I won't even like I know there will be and I'll tell you how to test it You everyone in their life know someone that's the hypermasculine one the hyper for me. It's
Starting point is 00:46:33 Kind of my dad perfect I if you want to test this get the cup or the bowl give it to them and then tell them what it's made of and watch the World crumble around you because bro people will start to throw up People are gonna start to like question their own sexuality. Yeah, people would freak out It would be like telling someone from Long Island that like Bruce Springsteen's trans now or something They just melt you oh Billy Joel is the Long Island guy. Well him too Bruce Springsteen is a Jersey guy. Yeah, but everyone loves him, bro. No, I don't care for him Bruce. Yeah I'm not a big Bruce guy. I mean, he's got some stuff. Does he? Hey, he's got some good songs, bro
Starting point is 00:47:10 How many two I can name two one USA and San Carlos coming to town that's it and glory days. No glory days is fire Dude, I don't even say Santa Claus coming down better than every other song he has Santa Claus coming down is really good the best Probably yeah, no no Probbles Probbles Like is that for the lead the best? Okay, let's get to the ads real quick and then I have something very important Okay, all right, cool. We have hello fresh here, which the boy is into okay, so hello fresh
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Starting point is 00:48:14 From hello fresh, but it's great. It's a great way to get into cooking It's a great way to surprise someone for the holidays or something and also they have really good recipes So that's another thing that's like at least the hardest part for me with cooking It's coming up with recipes or things to make I kind of just have to stumble upon recipes and then try to you know Make it but with this they have like, you know, really well thought out shit and they have like chicken ramen They have turkey ragu gnocchi They have Pillsbury pumpkin cookie dough. What? That sounds insane. But yeah, also, it's cheaper than the alternatives. All right
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Starting point is 00:49:27 Fucking what's that called New Year's resolution like I'm gonna get back in the gym I'm gonna start doing this get a head start on it All right, you don't want to be one of the psychos in the gym at you know January 2nd and then never go again. Everyone knows people notice trust me, but with fit bod They realized that the path to achieving your goals looks different for everybody, which is true All right, you can't just follow anyone's Workout plan and then you're gonna get the same results. Everyone's body is different. Everyone's goals are different All right, and they realize that with fitbot
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Starting point is 00:50:58 New Year's resolutions get back in the game. Not like I mean the realities I won't be able to go to the gym between work and you know having children. Yeah, I won't but we have a little home gym Yeah, just work out more and harder because that's my problem when I'm home. I'm like Yeah, I guess so I can't just start Running and eating Plain shit. Yeah. Well, that's my other problem. Yeah, is that I hate running Yeah I don't think anyone like people like it or crazy
Starting point is 00:51:29 But anyway, this last thing is very important. I would be remiss to not talk about this. You were unbeknownst earlier You'd be remiss now. Yeah, you know, I mean the vocabulary is just going through the roof I haven't read a book in two months. So there's that but Will Smith bro Will Smith comes out and he says that at one point in his life He was doing so much hooking That what's fucking oh that he used to vomit during orgasms. Oh After rampant Wow, let me tell you something We talked about something on the basement yard
Starting point is 00:52:07 Patreon account patreon.com starts a basement yard that this guy would have been crushing it in Which one coming in throwing up throwing up. Yeah, but wow what what I think I read So I read the article and basically it had to do with the fact that he was cheated on right He got cheated on it by his first year's girlfriend and he turned to rampant Sexual intercourse to get over her. This is the quote. I desperately needed relief first of all Hold on. Yeah, you had it all the time the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else I desperately need a relief but as there is no pill for heartbreak I resorted to the homeopathic remedies of shopping and rampant sexual intercourse
Starting point is 00:52:49 Yeah, well, you know what people do when they get heartbroken they want to cover it up So like I'm just gonna fuck it like yo, you're out there. Let me see your butts Yeah, I guess so and then he said up until this point in my life I had only had sex with one woman other than Melanie, which I guess was this girlfriend Um, but over the next few months. I went full ghetto hyena What the fuck is a ghetto hyena apparently something that does rampant funky fucking Funking maybe funky too. I mean, maybe that's how I got a little funky, bro Bro, ghetto hyena is I mean our hyena is known to just like just fucking sex
Starting point is 00:53:25 Dude, and he said excessive sex caused him to develop a psychosomatic reaction to orgasm I mean that sometimes made him vomit Then a quote is I had sex with so many women and it was so constitutionally disagreeable to the core of my being That I developed a psychosomatic reaction to having an orgasm. It would literally get over that Bro, I don't know. I've never even seen the word psychosomatic like What the what the fuck are we talking about? I've heard of that. I've heard of psychosomatic psychosomatic I'm insane. I know that's all from Charlie's Angels. That's all I'm waiting on. Wow Bringing out the Charlie's Angels movie. Um, no, I I I kind of almost like can relate to him a little bit
Starting point is 00:54:00 Why you seen at the sex thing because that wait you when you come you're like, I'm gonna throw up No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, but like doing something so many times And then you're unable to do it like physically because it makes you sick Example when I was a senior in college I uh for part of the year I was um Interning at a police department and two times a week I had to be like up and out of my place at like 6 30 to get to the police department Because it was like an hour away in order to fucking do my internship and I would wake up I'd crush a bowl of oatmeal and a cup of apple juice and I
Starting point is 00:54:38 actively Had oatmeal so much and was going through such shitty times because I remember at the time it was just Fucking awful that I could not and to this day cannot take a single bite of oatmeal without just wanting to throw up So fucking hard. You don't like oatmeal. I in my head It's like not the worst and most unappealing idea But like I used to mash that fucking baby shit in my mouth for so long that now if I think or even try My body will I'll gag. I can't do it And like so I could see him like the same thing
Starting point is 00:55:13 But that's like literally putting like you're like eating something like that's different But like even if I don't physically try to swallow if I like put it to my mouth. It's like Yeah, but like that If you put your penis into a bowl of oatmeal and then threw up then I'd be like, okay But then this is different bro, bro. Hold on. Has anyone fucked oatmeal? I Mean I know what's happened. It's probably not I gotta imagine it's got a full not the worst right warm oatmeal warm kind of like in a minute around your pee pee Yeah, uh, I
Starting point is 00:55:46 Kind of get this but like to the point of and it makes sense. Will Smith That's a smoky boy, bro. How many women do you have to have sex with until you start throwing up? I mean, it's also linked with the breakup. How many you think what's the number? How many women do you think you need to have sex with before you start being like I'm gonna vom? I would say like I Mean, what's the time frame? Are we going a year? I would say like 400 a year. Holy hell. That's a lot Dude, that's multiple a day. That's well not some days Some days necessarily you can have one day where you're like, yo like three
Starting point is 00:56:19 Yeah, the next day you can be like none the day after that four That's a weekend. That's that's seven and weekend. That's what I'm saying like it could be you think about it It's will Smith. Yeah, this guy must have been fucking hydrated if he was thrown up and coming all this much I'm so confused by this why because if you're if you're trying to get over a breakup I also don't really understand any of that shit like when people are like, oh, you know, I Was upset and I started drinking and I'm like I Always drink to like be in a better mood like I'm never sad. Well, that's what people That's why people get upset and drink because they're like, you know, I want to have a better time
Starting point is 00:56:56 So I'll drink no like I don't use it to be like I'm upset. Let's go get in a better mood I'm I'm like I look forward to be like, yo, we got it. Well, you're you you you understand That's not how everyone looks like other people use it as a coping mechanism. I know that that's my point I'm saying like I don't get that I get it to like an extent like because think about it your whole life At least for you your whole life. You're you know relating drinking and being drunk to having some fucking fun times So you go through a shitty breakup or something and it's like, you know, what I've always had fun drinking So let me just start drinking. I guess so. Yeah. Also, it says here will Smith recalls his mother walking in on him having sex in the kitchen Oh, you ever bang in the kitchen
Starting point is 00:57:38 It's nice You've never I feel like a hat but not like the full sex I mean, you're not on you're not putting all your fucking knives and shit on the counter and then laying on it I'm just I go I like to move around. Oh, so what you're gonna take your knives out of the fucking blocker the drawer No, I'm saying we could hit we can knock it over someone. Oh, you're fine. Oh, I'm just saying I don't you know also I you know, it's cold in there. It's like the countertops cold People like that. I don't like cold. Some people like the cold like warm. No, some people, you know, like that shit I'm not I'm not necessarily one of those people. Yeah, some people like ice cubes. I'm like their nipples inside
Starting point is 00:58:14 Oh, that's different. Yeah, that's different. That's that's nipple play. Yeah, nipple play doesn't count But like you put someone's like bare fucking chest on the counter, you know getting them from the back like they got Yeah, you know Yeah, but like some people like that shit. I mean, I keep my counters clean for the most part I like try to get a cat. Yeah, go I Clorox wipe them all the time. Okay, and I do the What's it called? I don't think you keep clean as you say, but go look at it. I'll take a picture of it You're free. Oh, I mean, yeah, your parent walks in on you having sex in the kitchen like that's your world Smith
Starting point is 00:58:48 You know, what do you what's your mom gonna say to you to make you stop being awesome? You know, you ever do something in your mom's kitchen. I Think I've done stuff Not not what you said I've done stuff in your mom's kitchen. Well, yeah, that's what I meant I will not like anything crazy. I you know, I had a house Right, you know, and I also had a house. Yeah, and things happen in houses. What were you doing in your mom's kitchen? It made me tell me off the air. I want to hear about it. No, just like stuff. Hmm not like full-on like crazy like
Starting point is 00:59:23 Stuff Wow, yeah, I would I would feel like that's more normal than like other stuff like finger popping blasting Oh, why no that could happen anywhere tongue fucking Unsure what that is, but you know exactly why you fingering is like for the earth like anywhere That's not like sex is like for beds Cars a cars cars sex is shit. It is shit. It's fucking tight and no it's never fun I'd rather a car than a shower though. I'll tell you that You could argue that I don't I don't think I would argue that unless unless it was like one of those cool showers that are like completely flat Because but if you get in these like tub showers, bro, we're talking a danger top showers. That's careful porcelain dog
Starting point is 01:00:02 Yeah, you hit your head. You're dead. Yeah in an instant in this in it. Yeah. Yeah, I need a bench. You do Yeah, you need a bench. You need You know flat level. Yeah, I agree with you there, but back to it. Well Smith I I kind of feel for him here. You ever go get oh hyena Like he said I don't I guess in this kind will get oh hyena in this context. No But like I'm sure at other points in my life people can describe the way I've eaten as being a ghetto hyena I get ravenous sometimes you I'm like Are you talking about like sexual eating or talking about just like eating eating eating
Starting point is 01:00:41 Oh, I'm saying like in the context of him saying like he's fucking as a ghetto hyena. Yeah, I don't even know why why hyenas I get a Do hyena's like they pounce. I don't know I would say like get a rabbit But like I guess a rabbit. It's like a very highly fucking animal rabbits, dude Did I you never heard like fucking like a rabbit? Yeah, but I thought that's because they like stomp their feet really no It's cuz like they fucking have kids like like they were like pregnant for like a week and it's like here's a baby. Oh Really bro rabbits apparently fuck Which animals have the most sex
Starting point is 01:01:17 type it in If there's a list I'm gonna guess some There is seven animals with crazy sex lives, okay, here we go rabbit or Hair or Jack rabbit Okay, the first one you're never gonna get. How do you know give me a clue? It's Australian. Oh wallaby. No koala No, it's not it's a cuttlefish a cuttlefish. Yeah, I could have gotten that if you gave me some more time I'm sure you would Then it's
Starting point is 01:01:50 Bower birds never heard of it. Never spot a hyena is a third. So People spot a hyena is run the show unlike most mammalian species they are far more dominant muscular and aggressive than their male counterparts, so they're dominating dudes This is because they're full of androgen a male sex hormone linked to aggression which causes their sex organs to grow a lot a Few oh, yeah a lot. He's got big old pussies Yeah, well clitoris is a female hyena clitoris can protrude seven inches from her body. Yo, that's a fucking day clip Look at the verdict is still out on whether it increases female pleasure and it contains the birthing canal that I know that
Starting point is 01:02:28 Babies come out of like the clitoris and they got to like rip it apart This can complate sex for the animals the male must crouch behind her and devise a way to insert his penis backwards into her clitoris Oh, they're they're banging clits over there They're putting dicks and clits. I guess man, whatever. I mean Damn shots of hyenas man Google hyena clit Okay Why did you think about it like you didn't what you weren't pulled at first? I was like, I don't know about this They're called
Starting point is 01:03:00 They know they got fucking long clits It just looks like a penis That's it. That's a clit for us Dude, I feel like yo See one brush up against some fucking straw and you're coming all over. Yo women always complaining that guys can't find the clip Maybe get a bigger clip Maybe get a seven inch protruding hyena clip. That's like yeah, yeah, of course I can't find a needle in a haystack No shit, you know you set me into a closet ask for one pair of socks. It's gonna be hard to find
Starting point is 01:03:29 It's gonna be tough. But if I go in there and it's the only jacket duh Got it Put a spotlight on this thing. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's a it's a whole fucking That's a whole big old clit Yeah Yeah, but I don't know where to go from there, but yeah, so hyenas confirmed fuck Yeah, all right, so he was a ghetto hyena and it made him throw up Yeah, you know cuz I guess he just like he's such a good person that he's like, what am I doing, bro?
Starting point is 01:03:59 Will Smith was using this because he's undergoing some shit right now. Yeah, he's going through Jada is just like verbally leaving I'm out there. She's just not allowing him to see the other day She was like she like posted something and called him Will Smith. Yeah. Oh man, so I'm reposted it and they were like, wow Yeah, that's a way to get out. That's like Keith my brother Keith you You get my mom cards or like her birthday or Mother's Day, whatever we'll sign it Thomas Joey Shannon and then Keith sign it and Keith Sanagato I gotta like imagine this will Smith thing was like a ploy It was like it's something on his part to be like I'm gonna a quick little way to get back at her to be like
Starting point is 01:04:38 I was so I was so heartbroken once I fucked everything so Jada figure it out But then he wanted to like cater to people who thought that was like gross and I was like, but I didn't like it I didn't like it made me throw up. It made me throw up like a dirty-ass hyena. Yeah, like, you know It's like a fucking gross everyone hates hyenas. No one likes them a ghetto hyena. Yeah, I went full ghetto hyena That's a great quote. That's really really that's art baby. That's showbiz. That's that is certainly something. Yeah But yeah, this has got to be his way of like being like yo Jada like if you don't figure this out I'm gonna be super sad leave you
Starting point is 01:05:11 Fuck and throw up all the time. Yeah, don't make me throw up again Don't make me have a psychosomatic reaction cuz that that could be bad You know no one wants to go through a breakup let alone one where you're gonna throw up every time you come Yeah, that's a rough life to live. That's a fucking super rough life. Yeah, but Someone's got to do it. It's dichotomous We won't appreciate the fact that we don't throw up when we come until until we know someone that does right, you know And boy, I would like to you think like the girls like oh my god. I'm finished and he's like, you know There's a lot going on there
Starting point is 01:05:45 She'd probably be upset. Yeah, you're not like me. You think I'm gross or not. Yeah, he's like no I just how do you even explain that by the way? You don't you throw up and it's like no Drunk you throw the white towel in and you're just like I can't I just like I actually hated that Yeah, well because you think about it like what what his honest response would be I'm sorry. I'm just heartbroken and she's like fuck you. You know, I'm thinking about my ex Super fuck you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know, there's no good way out of that So hey just avoid, you know being a ghetto hyena and doing ghetto hyena sex Yeah, guys, don't don't go never go full ghetto hyena. That would be a bad one
Starting point is 01:06:20 Yeah, that's probably gonna be the title of this podcast ghetto hyena. Yeah Where can they find you Frank if Alvarez 8085 on Twitter and the Frank Alvarez on Twitter and Instagram? Come check me out and then go check out the patreon patreon.com slash the base of New Yard Get the weekly episodes a week in advance get in on the joke seven days before everybody else and Exclusive content every single Friday morning like the one that we were talking about earlier. It's fucking out of control Definitely want to check it out and then guess what Santa got a studios. They're back We've been back for a couple weeks, but just in case you didn't know go check it out on YouTube Santa got a studios on YouTube. There's a bunch of videos up there every single week
Starting point is 01:06:54 We're releasing videos until Joey decides he doesn't want to do it anymore and I get fired again So go check it out Yeah, and go check out the new clothing Studios underscore NYC on Instagram and studios dash NYC comm It'll probably I'm doing limited releases. So they'll probably be like sold out pretty sir soon so get them if you can and I'll try to make the you know the Amount the units Higher and the next time so you guys can do that. I'll just restock the more that you buy the more that will be available
Starting point is 01:07:30 All right, but yeah, that is all see you guys next time

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