The Basement Yard - #330 - I Almost Burned My Apartment Down

Episode Date: January 24, 2022

Joe almost sets his apartment on fire when he tries to make chocolate milk. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard Frank. I'm here. How are you? Good? I'm doing all right I almost I almost lost my eye and I got cut but I was that I got stabbed in the head by a skewer You're doing or a child hit you my kind of my doing But there was like a steak in a plant of ours in Ruby's room And I went to bend something like bend down and grab something stab your head stab right dude So you're impaled I was impaled honestly just want to say this. Yeah could have lost my eye I mean yeah, it could have it could have been real bad. I'm confident that you would have sought coming No, it was in the dark is after I put Ruby to sleep. Oh, that's why it happened. Good for you

I can't have a blind guy on here. Honestly. I just can't not that it's wrong already Hispanic and poor You can't have me being another Another classification is uh, you know, yeah, I can't have this People would like no Maybe if you got a glass eye then maybe but I can't look at that would hold I would play with it too much. I couldn't get a glass. You know who play with it. You would just take your eye out I would just what is that? What is that play with it? If I had a glass? I had play with it Joey. I mean that's Now what people do that have glass eyes. No, they don't are you sure I did see a tiktok one time of this girl

I don't know how old she was so I Just rattled off give me an idea. I have no idea. She was 40s. No, no, no, she was like a just a regular girl Oh, so like 40s are like just like no like 20 early 20s or something. Oh, okay, and she was a little too old for you gotcha You know, why do you always do that? I need you make enough money now that you're in the cabal of people that like, you know Touch kids buy, you know kids on Wayfair and shit like that No, yeah, um, but uh

She she was like a good-looking girl and she's like stand there and she's like lip-syncing the shit and then all of a sudden She just pops out or fucking on you and I was like, I got it I'd fuck with people like that when I was growing up my grandfather my mom's dad He He had dentures and every now and then he's like scary so you go yeah, and he fucking drop his teeth out Yeah, what a freak drop the fucking pull the pull what is it pull up pull the rug out from under him Just just fucking fall out and scare the shit out of me. I don't like that shit. Yeah, well, he's gone now So um, so you had an accident this weekend. I did I I also had a big big big accident big bad one

I almost blew up this whole apartment. Wait, what? Yeah, like the whole thing was almost gone. Yeah, what would we have done for the basement yard? Forget the basement yard, bro. I would have been homeless. Oh No, you wouldn't have been homeless you have like five houses in the store. Yeah, I don't yeah, well um, but yeah, so I Wait, so what happened? Are you okay first thing? That's the most important thing not the basement yard. Are you okay? Physically Emotionally scarred emotionally you're all fucked up. Well because was Charlie home. Oh, yeah. Oh, he would have been dead Um, no, I would I would I'll tell you what happened. Okay, so are you familiar with? Ember mugs

Ember ember. I know ember as the opening Pokemon move that Charmander gets at level six Do you think that's what I'm fucking talking about Frank? It's only the only way I know the word ember. No, it's ember moon the wrestler You're getting colder. Okay It's also a mug. I gave you that okay Is it a mug? Is it like one of those mugs that like you put it to a temperature and it stays at that temperature? Yes See, I know things. Okay context clues, so it's a mug that like connects to blue tooth or something real I'm just make sure we say this stupid. Yeah, okay. I used it

Time okay, and haven't really you know, but anyway, so I I'm sitting on the couch and I never ever do this, but I was like, you know what? I'm gonna make hot chocolate. Whoa Got a little saucy. Yeah, I was like, I'm gonna make some hot chocolate. What time of the day was it? Bro, it was like seven Like am p.m. Oh p.m. Oh, I didn't know if you seven a.m. Hot chocolate. I didn't know if you started your day with some hot chalky What is he doing? Oh, he was eating a ball. I thought he was just like eating the wires. I'm like, we're gonna have to know but

So it's like I'm gonna make some hot chocolate dude, and I'm an idiot because on my sink. Yes, you are There's a little spout is a little spout that is just boiling water for this reason You know what I'm saying? Mm-hmm So I don't use that and I go I'm gonna fill up this mug with water and put it in the microwave So I put in the microwave for like two minutes wherever it is and then I go to the bathroom and I'm peeing Finish my pee. Mm-hmm shaky shake only two shakes. Well, I don't shakey shake shaky shake is a whole just a that's a couple Shakes for me. Yeah, I mean well, yeah, I mean I'm not gonna fucking you don't really care if you dribble Drabble low in your own place. I'm not spiking the ball. It's your home. Yeah, it's true

but so on my way back to the kitchen I get to Right where I'm in line of sight of the microwave and there's a fireball in it. Oh Fucking dumb bitch so because it's electric electronic Bro when I tell you like and I know I'm not supposed to do that. You know what I mean? Yeah My dad was a fireman. I know the laws of the fire. That's right. The pyros. It's a fire triangle What you don't know the fire triangle yeah fire triangle it's like heat Fuel and oxygen take one of those things away fire can't can't live right so I

Walk over and I'm like This thing how big of a fireball, bro the hole inside of the thing was fire, okay? So I was like not good Immediately, I knew it wasn't good. Yeah, it's a fat problem. You know big fat Obese problem we got my microwave is a blaze. Just a just a tub of lard. Yeah, so I You're not supposed to open the microwave if you have a fire in there because it's sealed so I don't just It'll just you know You learn something new every day. It'll suffocate it. I did not know that so I'm standing there and I'm like

You know, there's nothing I could do at this point except wait for this thing to go out Was this a this mug was this a gift from someone Marco? And you know, it's funny, you know, it's funny He was at my apartment like a couple of days before and he's like do you ever you because we have like our secret Sanity do you ever use the the mug? I got you and I was like I use it want I was like I use it as like a regular mug But I don't really like mm-hmm, you know, whatever and then it almost blew up my house So I put it in thing explodes right and I'm talking like it sounds like things are exploding in there

Yeah, I'm looking at a fireball. I do you ever like I remember when I was a kid I must have put like tin foil or a spoon or something in the microwave. It's like Yeah, this was like a legitimate fucking explosion. Yeah, and I was like, oh fuck so then it goes out, right? I'm freaking out Charlie's freaking out it goes out So I open up the fucking microwave because I'm like I gotta grab this thing But I don't have anything on my hands So I open it up and I opened it up too early because if it like immediately when the fire goes out if you open it It could still catch fire again oxygen, right which?

Happened, okay, so I open it and I go yo and then smoke billows out of this thing black and that yeah And then fucking I was like, okay So I shut it again, and I start opening up all the fucking doors Yeah, you don't want those fire alarms to go off so it gets a lot of shit first of all I don't they didn't go off which is shocking because I make fucking chicken they go up every time yeah, yeah So I turned on the the fan above the stove like on fucking full fucking blast Yeah, it was full fucking suck in the whole air out of the place It was a blast suck and I and I opened up both doors and there was a jet stream was sucking out all the fucking whatever was awesome

Oh shit would fly everywhere dude. It was like a ghost was fucking with me Okay, like all papers and stuff is flying. You didn't have that many papers, but then they they showed up I don't know dude literally like there's just papers flying everywhere and Then it went out again So then I'm like I got it So then I go over to where you actually talking to yourself as this was happening I was yelling I'm not yelling, but I was saying a lot of fuck shit. Oh fuck like I was just going like that Cuz I was scared bro shit cuz I'm like, you know the parvons going down. Yeah. Yeah, you know

And so I was like I gotta get this thing out of there So I I waited till it went out again, and then I grabbed a beanie and I put it over my hands And I opened the thing and I grabbed the fucking mug. Where are your fucking potholders, bro? I mean panic. I'm looking around. I walked all the way till like over here I was thinking to get a beanie bro. I the beanie was like on the counter. So I'm fucking And I I didn't know what to do. I was freaking out Yeah, so I like grabbed the fucking cup and I threw it on the balcony It's actually you could see it from there. You see it

Still out there. I need to see this cup. It's on it's on that balcony. Is it a melted fuck the bottom of it It's just blown out. Okay, and then like like most of us. Yeah. Yeah, exactly and Yes, I threw it into the fucking onto the fucking balcony and it's been there and there was it Yeah, and you're not you're not gonna take it back in I am well with the hunt It's part of the apartment now I didn't want to like I didn't know if there was gonna be some sort of internal investigation Oh, what the fuck are they when you think it's illegal that you fucked up? No, you're fine Oh, I didn't know if they wanted to know like yo, you know what happened. Oh, I was cooking. No big deal

That's it. I mean unless they come through and they see fucking black smoke everywhere They might have some questions I'm just being funny the real reason I threw it out there It's because I was like, I don't know if the thing's gonna like blow up again or something like I'm just putting it outside Well, I mean those wires are fucking toast now. I think you're okay Well, it is so the fire portion of it didn't last that long But it was enough that if you opened it right now, you'd be like a bomb went off. Oh really? It looks like a fucking percent. Yeah, I have a picture of it on my phone

I took a picture of it and I called my mom and I go um Almost blew up my shit. Yeah, you're almost you're almost homeless. Yeah, and then um, so there's still like a bunch of like scrap in there There's done. There's like debris debris of what I don't know. Well, it's it's it's oh man It's like Garbage, I mean like it's something blew up in there It's like a car when you want a car blows up like there's just just shit everywhere I guess but then I walked over to the breaker box and I threw the breaker for the microwave because I didn't want it to be It was still on the microwave was on like like heating up the smoke during the fire

The microwave is cooking the fire And I don't know what happens when you when you microwave a fire Actually now I do now you do it because I think that's how they make like an atom bomb I think like that's what like nuclear weapons are it's just fire in a microwave I blew up a cup and then microwaves fire And so I had to reach Up Because it's high. Yeah, it's pretty high. It's so it was so very dumb design. So I had to shut it off

Mid flame. So you got a full air in your lungs is just sucking in air. No, it was shut I never really got like a bunch of like did it smell like just like melted plastic in here It's not like burnt fucking old person hair. It was disgusting. I'm surprised you didn't smell it when you first walked in Yeah, no, it smells. I mean it normally smells like shit in here. So like nothing new. Yeah, but I have that that lavender Uh plugin in the wall right here. Uh, I cranked it up. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, there you go You that was that was not your brightest. It's all right. It happens. Oh, we all we all lapse the judgment every now and then You ever blows up not like that. Oh, I'm sure I have I mean I No time hot chocolate gets me in trouble when I was younger

What's why are all these stories starting with hot chocolate? I have no idea. Just stop the hot chocolate I used to make hot chocolate with milk. That's the way you're supposed to make it. Well before I had the shits and poops. Yes. Yes So I Put a mug in the fucking, you know, whatever. Let me guess. Yeah, just the powder in the mug. Oh, no nothing in the mug I just put a mug in the microwave and microwaved it Because I thought I put water in it, but I didn't yeah, and then I'd share And I'm like, what the fuck and I stop it and then I take the mug out and I'm like fucking idiot, bro

It's like, I'm a fucking idiot, bro. I can't tell you because remember, you know during college I did the whole rard thing I can't tell you how many times we would have like the building fire alarm would go off because people would put whether it'd be ramen in there without water or Um, the fucking like mac and cheese cups like the easy the easy the easy Yeah, yeah, yeah those things bro. Miles did it one day at the house Yo, what is what is the what are these made of that the second there's heat applied to them without moisture? It turns into fucking Chernobyl inside that microwave. It was a problem, dude

I don't know man. Microphone is fucking scared of shit of me because I don't really get my I don't get him either And I don't and I'll tell you this air fryer frank just put an air fryer experimenting with it that is Basically magic to me. I will not understand dude nine minutes. We're gonna we're gonna make perfect chicken And like not like it comes out and you're like, oh, this is good for nine minute chicken like yo, this is good Like this is good fucking chicken and like same thing microwaves. Don't get it people are like, oh, it's radiation

Why are we eating it? What is what is that? It does this hole? It's like fucking like like the radio Like it's like radio waves. You're telling me the microwave Is a radio basically there's a setting on every microwave radiation is the radio. Yes There's settings on every microwave you plug in the right thing It'll not only heat up your chicken You'll hear Elvis Durand screaming about farts from your fucking microwave probably. I mean I'm not gonna refute because I don't know I will absolutely because well You ever go to like the dentist or something and they put that fucking

Bulletproof vest on you to take an x-ray bro. Yo, what is this? You ever see what they have to put kids in? What bro? So recently I told you this ruby hurt her foot. We thought her toe is broken So we were like, all right, we're gonna have to bring her somewhere to get x-rays check Make sure the toe in or foot are not broken No, thank god neither are but bro. You ever seen what they have to put kids in to get like because kids her age They're not gonna fucking sit still Bro, it's like a cup It's like a big wine cup like a wine glass like a a giant see-through glass cup and they put them in

And they're stuck in this fucking tube and that's how they do x-rays Hold what look it up. What do I type in baby radiation? Baby? No, don't do that baby x-ray machine Baby radiation What the is that bro? This is literally a blender Like basically They put him in a fucking ninja and then they just like yo, we're just gonna take some inside pictures How is that real? I don't know bro, but I yo literally go

Type in baby x-ray machine to google right now Hit the button that says images and then look at all these babies about to be blended Yeah, it's basically it's just blended babies. Yeah, it was very weird. I remember seeing it I was like, what the fuck and I was like that makes me not want to get her to get x-rays But yeah, you go to the dentist. You're like, yo, we're gonna take pictures of your teeth bite on this Very sharp plastic. What is that shit? Very sharp. Yeah, and Literally put on this, you know chain mail. Yeah, it's like oh see in an hour It's like yo, am I diffusing a bomb in here, bro

You're they have to prepare you for it's like kevlar and they put you like you're driving through south bronx, baby How about this like putting it over my chest and shit's like, yo, we need to protect you. I'm like my mouth is open Yeah, what about my mouth? Yeah, no, that's why they put that fucking. I'm telling you It's like it's a piece of plastic that has like a little card on it So you can bite the plastic but the ends are so razor thin So you bite it and it's like cutting your cheek and they're like, all right They pull it out. They basically almost buck 50 me. Yeah Remember that remember buck fifties

You mean like stabbing people in the face. Well, yeah the thing where they like a smile or some shit like that You know a kid who's got one. We do we know he well, he didn't get a whole one. He got a half of one They tried. Wow, what a bitch. I I mean, that's fucking crazy. I mean, yeah, it's still nuts But he didn't get a whole buck 50. He didn't get a half of one Uh, say well, I'm not gonna say but we recently spoke about him on some other things But uh, that's I that's nice. I went to the doctor and uh, had a different experience I had to go to a doctor to Like the bowl doctor your pp doctor the urologist is more your nuts doctor. He's not like a is it

I mean, you're you're in you're in that's tick. That's a dick right there. That's a big dick doctor. Yeah, urology That's urine bro, but it was very uncomfortable to piss doctor Well, yeah, they're all I will say not very happy. I went for like to ask questions about a vasectomy I didn't go for like any like issues like my prostate, which I think is in my butt. It might be a different doctor It's okay. My dick and balls are cool too. Um But I went and he was just like Did you have to touch all he had a touch he had to touch my my balls How was he was he too handed like it was like a slinky. No, he didn't even give me the benefit of fucking like standing up

Or being gentle. Well, you were laying down Bro, this guy was playing with my balls like a fucking ukulele like he was pulling the strings like he wanted to play the fucking You know Something good some metallica. Wait, what does he do? Is he got a like finger? so Yeah, so, you know the normal stuff where he like He's like this is how you inspect your testicles and I was like, all right So he's like

Damn, he's like hard. No, I didn't get hard. Oh, dude Becca says the same thing. She's like, do you need to get hard for this? I'm like, what do I do? Crank my dick. Hold on doc. Give me a sec. Let me get ready. Dude, someone's finally my balls for long enough I'll probably get some blood flowing. No, no, definitely not in a doctor setting I mean, but he played with my like each ball like he was rolling a fucking joint. He was like See that sounds fire dude. No, it's not. He's like, this is how you check to make sure there's no like growths or anything You're good. I was like, oh good. Thank you No, and then because I was asking about a vasectomy questions, you know, did you have to like cough and shit?

Well, yeah, he did the whole he fucking goes. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. What'd you just do with your finger? You just went like this. Yeah, he fingered your balls. No. Yeah, your gooch. Oh, no balls the fupa The the full the fat ball. No, no, no, no like above like so like your dick Your balls. Yeah, and your dick is like the surrounding dick area. What is the pubis the pubis region? Oh, just around your shit Yeah, not fun though because he was fucking shoves his finger in And he goes

Cough that was like Like he's like a little more like It was fucking bro. It's uncomfortable. He's like cough slut. Yeah He looks spanked by the back of my head when he did it It was uh, not enjoyable not that it's meant to be enjoyable But that's how they check for hernias and shit, which I've never had one. Thank god No, I don't think I've had one either But then he's like so I'm asking about the vasectomy. I'm like, you know, blah, blah, blah

He's like, oh, well, let me I've done these for 37 years. Let me check your balls I'm like, all right. He moves. Why do they have to check? You can't just get one Well, you can't just be like, yo, what's the mind shit? Well, you got it like qualify You got it. No, they like sometimes they need to see like if it would be like a more invasive So like he was talking to surgery. He's like he make a decision here decision here pull the cords nip done I'm like, oh cool And I'll get to the next part and he goes he goes. I need to make sure I can find the cord Damn, he said you have small balls. I don't like no. He said the poles are cool

He's like the cord to the ball. Oh, so you might have a small cord. So he's like he's like moving around Bro, he found your cord D He was like Fucking like Like it was fucking play-doh with my nut sack And I'm he's like moving it around and he goes Give me your finger and I'm like, all right, and he goes, oh dude, this is a sexual experience

Bro, and he goes put your finger right there and I like put he goes you feel that rubber band That's the cord that supplies like your ball like your come. Yes, like whatever it's sperm to your come. Yeah He's like, so you're good. I think it's different. Yeah, they asked No, yeah comes different. I asked I asked in a little bit. I'll tell you and I'm like I said to he was very it was very uncomfortable. Yeah, so I'm like, yo, you gotta chill So I said to him. I'm like doc. I'm letting you know This hurts Please stop and he goes just give me one second and I'm like

Please stop with my balls, you know, he didn't he didn't honor your he did not have my request Dan so he was like he was playing your balls like a harp, bro Literally like fucking I'm telling you like slapping the bass Dude, I never want to go there. Well, you're gonna have to one day. You probably should it's good to get your balls inspected Oh, I meant like I don't want to get my cord touched. Well, maybe one day you want to bisect me So I maybe I'll just have 400 kids then I asked I felt like an idiot. I was like, yo like What will sex be like like will I be able to ejaculate? I was like, oh, yeah, ejaculate comes from prostate. You're good I was like, I didn't I didn't know this stuff and then I was like, oh, but does it change the viscosity of the jizz

I gotta imagine it makes it like less valuable Well, yeah, you can't yeah, it's cool anymore. It's like you definitely can't donate it Well, you're give you eight cents for this. It's like, what is this shit calm? Yeah, you're firing off fucking blanks, you know But I remember uh, he was saying like You know like oh like you and I was like, could I get it reversed because like saying like a couple years time We want another child he's like Well, you can but it costs $15,000. I was like, no, I'm not doing that

So he's like, all right, I should just $15,000. Yeah to like the insurance or for for my nuts That's Like it would be like an out of pocket thing because like I think they like treat like the regular vasectomy is like It's covered by insurance and then after that it's like, yo like vanity stone. Yeah, it's like getting fake tits Exactly exactly getting your balls fixed is like fake tits. That's fucked up. Yeah, it is a little bit It's against us men men can't do anything Especially white men and straight white men. Go ahead. They are marginalized and under attack. Aren't they? They are under attack. Yeah

For this fucking guy, bro, can I tell you please? Yeah, I have seen so many videos on tiktok of dudes, bro And it's like I'm floored. I'm floored. Are they actually like we're under attack Not even that. They're just like insane It's they're talking about like what women have to offer and it's like this woman comes in with a used vagina That's what he said I used used vagina. I used vagina. Are they all used to some degree? Oh, not if they're a fucking uh 30 year old virgin I mean, but even then they're pissing out of that son of a bitch

Pissing out of that son of a bitch. I liked one of them just so I could show you Yeah, but they're pissing at that son of a bitch. That's fucking intense Listen to this because this guy had made a video and he said something about like no, you're worth your woman should be obedient This and that so people were just like flaming him. Yeah, of course does stupid. So then you post this, bro To the men who tried to pander to a group of miserable women and get clawed off my name And to y'all only how dare you? I've seen the stitches. I've seen the duets and I have no problem With you disagreeing with what I say, but I do have a problem

If y'all talking to me like you could even stand next to me She's talking about With y'all men acting like my worst women would give y'all a chance on your best days I have a problem with y'all pandering the women trying to get jokes and attention and clout off my name So I'm gonna about to pander apparently a joke if I'm telling you right now if he sees this He's gonna be pissed. He is in his car with a black hood up. Yeah screaming into his phone On tiktok in the evening, by the way, are we are we not understanding how ridiculous is you're screaming into your phone? On tiktok and you're there clearly the demographic is predominantly

18 Oh, who are you talking to if that he's no, well, no, he's a he's a hero for the fucking the man who could even stand next to me What does that even mean like next to me like what like I Like are you god? Who are I apparently he must think he must have some sort of omnipotent complex I would say I would bet my money on this kid. This guy is shorter than I am Uh, which you're what five three, so he's gotta be like Maybe pushing five feet bad. I don't know if you're five three. I'd beat the dog shit out of you. You can't be that short around me You can't if you're a grown manager that short around me. I'm gonna hate you

Yeah, you can't you can't fight dudes who are five three. You gotta have a pillow fight No, you gotta do that thing that you like anytime you get into fights with kids Where you just like put your foot behind what their legs and push them You know just to show that you could fucking kill them. I love that but this dude. I gotta find this video I don't know where what a little boy. I mean like that is someone that bro I've seen so many videos like this bro That's a little dick energy right there because not only like clearly they're not confident And they need to like feel like they're under attack women are or obedient supposed to be obedient to their man

And he said something like And to the to the men who think that that's weird She obeys the law, right? So she can be obedient to you She wears a seat belt, right? Yeah, so she should be your slave that doesn't look any say bro if she Goes trash and recycling. She is completely capable of being able to fucking shut up Yeah, it's like that's there's no connection there These dudes bro, and this is a guy who's been hurt. I saw another video I see I just see a man that has had a broken heart, bro, and he's crying out for help

I feel bad for this guy mainly because he's under attack. I don't hope his fucking microwave blows up. Oh, wow Yeah, I thought you wouldn't wish that upon your worst enemy. That's pretty bad Oh, this guy's getting it bro And then I saw another video of these kids and I think they're like 22 years old so like Give him some slack this guy's in his 30s and like listen been there Oh, Joey was an insult for most of his life After he hates women no the first video I ever put up was a talk about sluts. Oh, I remember that and you were like I remember that those were the days when I was so I had like a new york like twang to you

Yeah, you're like yo, okay. You're bugging like I didn't like you just said it right there Just came back out like yo, you're bugging You know like sluts you want to get to a sluts heart give her a piece of candy or some shit Like you say You just say all that shit Like yo sluts love two things attention and sorak and I got from both For real that's probably a joke that I would have made 100% but Oh, man those fucking 2010 joey said a guy from piece of candy is some shit

Joey would love that shit. Yeah, so I've been there, but this These are a little crazy This dude got on the internet and like listen It was a different time like this is this year And they're saying this and they're like 22 25 years old. I'm like that this dude says If my wife gives birth to our kids or whatever Basically like if she doesn't get because I want to be sexually attracted to her still she has to get back into shape Otherwise, I'm gone

Dude, this is so foul. What is going on with people? It's like your your wife has put it. She's like It's like listen have my kid carry him for nine months Give fucking birth and rip open your ass and push And then fucking and then on top of that when you're done with that shit Let the stitches heal fine. I'll give you that but then you're back in the gym you fat bitch What is wrong with people? What is wrong with people? I mean, I will say as someone that you know Becker was just pregnant a year ago almost, you know, um, and It's kind of crazy how men don't like can't conceptualize pregnancy because we don't have to fucking do it

um But like bro, she basically gave up her Her body image what you know, like her confidence because of that's tied to what fucking people in the media believe is a good-looking person Even bigger than that alcohol If that's a big one even bigger than that cold cuts cold cuts you gotta give up a judo Yeah, but jup and fucking cold turkey. What's the life without a jup? If you can't have cold wet ham, is it even a life worth living? Is it even a life if you can't have bacon? No

No, it's not but like bro. That's that's and they're 22. What the fuck do they know they barely I know I was I was watching it. I'm like, oh my god. Then like that's why I was saying like, okay They're like that old like whatever which isn't like young like they definitely shouldn't be saying that especially pretty old The fact that it's like this year 22 you graduate college And I hate using this excuse, but like Back in the day, uh-oh You could probably get away with that kind of stuff and everyone would just be like even if they fell away about it They wouldn't really say anything

But now it's like people are very much held to a certain standard. There's way more education and like, you know acceptance and understanding They're still out there like my fat fucking stupid dumb wife Better get back in the gym right after having kids. It's like it's like be hotter It's like a shock culture thing, you know what I mean? Like the the internet has become so inundated with so much content that like people now feel like in order to get their Fuck in 15 minutes of fame. They need to say something wild or do something ridiculous I eat that girl in the band that pissed on that guy's face

No one had heard about this band before she pees on someone. Everyone knows her now You know what I'm saying and I don't even constitute that as a pee. It was a full blown waterfall. Yeah, that was that was a geyser uh, but Same thing these guys like these kids clearly have like grown up in this culture Where it's like they need to do something in order to get fucking tiktok famous So they can get a netflix show where them and their friends are living in a house and they're fucking making one video a week That gets two million views and they get a hundred thousand dollars for it's like You know just figure it out and also, you know back in the day

like I think when people like and if i'm going too much on a rant you're telling me babe, but like Like people now are like you can't joke anymore. It's like no you you can still joke It's just the there's less context now like back in the day There was more context of joke because people would see past the joke and now it doesn't these morons They don't they just want to make these videos. Yeah, and then I it's also funny because These these conversations happen on a podcast and i'm a white guy with a podcast very straight cisgendered white man so it's like So it's just funny because I also feel like

Maybe you shouldn't have a podcast. You know what I mean? Like I feel like some people are just like Is this your way of saying you're side of the basement yard? I fuck no. Okay. I was gonna jump out the window No, I'm the best. I was gonna grab the mug jump out the window um, no, but uh Yes, I feel like Oh me and my boys were like we have no filter. It's like, all right, bro like Anytime anyone says that it's like we say sex is shit. Yeah That's basically their way of saying like we'll we'll say racist sex is and inappropriate shit

But like we told you we would so like lay off our podcast is a little crazy We talk about lesbian china chinese And it's so funny because that's what we do. I think like every like yeah, but we don't we we're fucking you know I'm saying we're not in here like I love him. Yo, I love chinese. Is your wife hot yet? Because she looked ugly during her pregnancy. Yeah. Yeah, that's like bro. Jesus Christ We also I think people actually get upset when we like show more of our Liberal-minded opinions and like in the comments, which I unfortunately read sometimes they're like, oh my god I hate when he gets when he gets political and it's like that that kind of shows a little bit

You know a little behind the scenes of who we are. Yeah, it's fun. It's fine. It is. It's good. All right. We're gonna get to these ads I have a have a have a have a oh Okay Okay, I promise I didn't do this I it just I wasn't even looking Who's the ad is it like new baby or like fucking like hack and sack meridian health? No, it's fitbot. Well Oh, so FitBod. So if you happen to be a FitBod.

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That's stitchfix.com slash basement to try Stitch Fix Freestyle. Stitchfix.com slash basement. Go do it, folks. You almost had a stroke there at the end. Stitchfix.com! Basically, we kinda matched today. Do we?

Yeah. Oh yeah. Someone recently said we kinda look a little alike. I saw it in the comments, like we could be related or something like brothers. Yeah? I think so. Are they cousins that kiss?

Cousins that kissed once and then found out they were cousins, they were like, we shouldn't do this. We shouldn't do this. Yeah, yeah. But anyway, I wanna talk about something super serious. Drake. Drake is in the news. Oh yes, I saw this.

Apparently some Instagram model was like, yo, I had sex with Drake and then he went in the bathroom. Hold on, wait, no, no, no, no. Let's tell the story the way that it was conveyed to us. I'll tell the story, because I did a lot of reading on this, because this is important, okay? I'll cut you off, like you cut me off, bitch.

Take it away. So like, the story was Drake, famous rapper, you know, producer, producer, euphoria, that show where there's a lot of wing-wangs going around, a lot of, how you doing? A lot of knick-knack, patty-whack, you know? Yeah, give a dog a trans bone. Which didn't happen in high school at that level, guys.

Yeah, it's crazy. Bro, their kids like having like porno sex in like the fucking bathroom at a party. Yeah, it's like, you're at a house party and you guys are by the sink spitting each other's mouths. Like how is this show even real? And then someone shows up with just like eyeliner that looks like a tear down, not real.

Doesn't fucking happen. People wore like fucking like juicy on their butt and that was the coolest thing they did. And then some girl gave a blow job and then we, you know. Everyone talked about it. For years. She's distraught. Distraught, probably emotionally scarred.

For ever. Ever. So he produces that show and he like found this Instagram model, don't know who this person is, so I can't speak. This is all reported, but we don't care about facts here. No. Literally does not matter if it's true or not. As far as I'm concerned, this is true.

100%. It's on the internet, so it's real. Honestly, even if it's proven false, don't care. Oh no, it's going to go right in there with my conspiracy theories. 100%. So, you know, gets in touch with this Instagram model. He's like, oh, let's do dinner. You know, let's hang out.

Let's do dinner. Ba, ba, ba. They do that. And then they go back to his place and, you know, things started getting a little kissy, kissy, smoochy, smoochy. Yeah. And she said that like he was like very adamant, that like he wanted to get her consent so they could do anything

further, like sexually. Awesome. Cool. Good for him. Good for him. You know, not a lot of, you don't hear a lot of that in the rapping community. So that's a generalization you're going down.

I said you don't hear a lot about it. I'm not saying that it happened. I'm saying, remember that song, U-O-E-N-O? What a problem that was. Oh yeah, Rick Ross. Yeah, that was a big one. That was a big one. And she said like, yo, he goes to the bathroom, comes out.

Fat, good looking cock. He had a fat penis. She said seven inches. Whoa, that's a good penis. Like a good, healthy, you know. She said they had about like 20 minutes of good sex. That's a healthy amount of time. That's a good amount of sex with a seven inch cock.

And you're that famous? You can't ask for much more than that. No. You know, you hit the home run there. Yeah. Well, she tried to get greedy. Well, yeah. So she, yeah, exactly.

She tried, she put her hand in the cookie jar and tried to take two instead of one. Listen, you go to a famous rapper's house. He gets consent. He comes out of the bathroom, big fat dick. You've won. You've won. You hit the jackpot.

But now you're getting greedy. And you go into the bathroom after the con, he takes the condom off and you try to take the condom and shove up your stuff to get yourself pregnant. That's what, to trap said rapper. And listen, this, every high school prepubescent or pubescent boy has heard this story. Like, could you, like, I remember one of our friends

hitting us up back in the day saying they knew a girl that did it with a sponge. All this crazy shit. Everyone always says like, well, what if they take the condom and like try to dump it in them? Well, this happened here, reportedly, actually. Yeah. And apparently, as she did that, it like, her puss

set a blaze. It went a fucking blaze. It went up in flames. Because apparently Drake is keen to women doing this. Smart man. And not his first or second or maybe 300th rodeo because he had a bottle of hot sauce on hand and dumped it into the condom.

This guy took some fucking tapatio and just dumped it into this used condom, put it in the garbage. And she tried to use it, put it up her shit. I want to say this. This woman? I have a lot of questions. This woman. Listen, lady.

I get it. Now I get it. I'm in the mind of you. Yeah. And I'm like, you just got ticked down by Drake. Yeah. OK. I'm exhausted.

What's happening now? My heart's racing and I'm ready to go. She didn't finish. I don't know. OK. So then what shape is the bed? Circle. OK.

But then I'm like, you know, I'm trying to get pricked. So I'm trying to like make a million dollars right here. A couple. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. A couple million. So I go into the bathroom and I'm like, you know, whatever. And I've fished this condom out of the fucking thing.

And now I'm looking at it. Either two things. Yeah. One, you go, oh, there's hot sauce in here. Or you go, Drake's dying through his dick because it's red. Yeah. Hot sauce is either green, which run, or red. Green hot sauce is good.

No, no. Green in the condom. Green condom, yeah. Green in the condom, you're done. You better just fuck Shrek. Yeah, like, or, you know, some weird discharge. This guy's got all kinds of shit. So you either got green in the condom,

or you got red in the condom. Either way. Or he could have got real cool and gotten those like cool like lifestyle flavored condoms that are different colors. Like the banana one is yellow. The watermelon one is green. What are you talking about? They have those.

They have them. He's using like the goat skin. It's like goats, but it's like it's. I don't even know. High end condoms like Chanel or Louis Vuitton. He doesn't go get flavored condom. Who is he? I would imagine he stops by a bar,

and he grabs some from the fucking jar. Stops by a bar? What do you think? He's going to a high school and taking out the free condoms from the fucking security desk? I don't know. I'm not sure. I'm not quite.

Listen, it takes a lot for me to put myself in the mindset of Drake. You know, I don't get there easily. But maybe he does do that. Maybe in order to be like, maybe he's a financially conscious person, he's like, yo, I have sex like at least twice a day. So maybe I should stop buying so many condoms.

And I should just start getting the free ones. They're giving out to kids all the time. I'm sure it's a big expense for him. I think it might be. You never know. If you have some brawl, you have sex twice a day at least. Who is doing that? Drake.

Has got nothing to do? Make music and do sex. So twice a day. Let's do the math here. Twice a day times 365. That's seven. What's 300 times 2 is 600? 730.

OK. Yes. Yes. Very good. Nailed that. Thank you. 730 times. That's a lot of condoms, dude.

That's a lot of condoms. In a year? That's an organic festival. Just get, you know, just get taken for free. But yeah, that was my first question. It's like, what was the lighting like in that bathroom? And apparently, she's trying to sue him now, because now she's got a fucking, she's got a,

she's got a Bernie Plus. She does. Yeah, she's got her bottom pocket just filled up with fucking Frank's Red Hot. Her bottom pocket, you know? Which, listen, I love hot sauce. Big hot sauce, fam. Don't know if I want it in me in any, like maybe in my mouth,

not in my pee pee. Or butt, butt, butt. Why did you say butt, butt? I don't know. That would be a big fat problem. Yeah, I know. But I am like, damn, dude, burnt your fucking, this is going to be wild.

Bro, that's got to be some sort of like, you need to, like, what do you do there? You got to clean that. I need this to be real. I need it. It's real to me. Damn it. I need this.

We had a crazy year, bro. Just give us this. Bro, it's 2022. If we're starting with a fake story about condoms filled with hot sauce, bad, bad way to start. We got a long way to go. We already lost fucking Bob Saget, Betty White, you know, Jason Momoa and his wife broke up.

I can't have this not be real, you know? But, so Joey, if you were to fill your condom with a condiment, which one would you fill it with? A condiment? Yeah. Give me, like, your top four condiments that you're putting in your condoms post-sex. I probably wouldn't do that.

Oh, well, duh. Well, if you were trying to, like, be like, you know, I don't trust this woman to not, you know. Well, I mean, due to classic Frank Alvarez move growing up, flush the condom. Well, I know it's a, you're fucking with the pipes. I know you're fucking with the pipes. Never, never happened, nothing bad ever happened to me.

Well, I've never flushed a condom. Oh, I flushed them all the time. I don't know what I've done with condoms, to be honest with you. Where did they go? I don't know. I don't remember. Because I was like, I'm not throwing this out in my house because my mom will find it.

Well, it's... Or maybe I'll just, like, pick up a bunch of trash and be like, put it under. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, what's the big deal? If your parents find it, they know you're practicing safe sex. Yeah, but I was just scared. You also, like, when you were at home, you were in the basement.

You just walk out the back thorn in the dumpster. Call it a day. No one's going to question if there's a random used condom in an alleyway in New York City. Yeah, but I, you know... Just toss it to the wind. I don't know, dude. I was, I don't even remember what I used to do.

I never flushed them. One time, one of... Flushed them bad boys. One of our friends flushed a condom and it fucked up the pipes. At their own place? Nope. Well, then who cares?

It was our other friend's grandma's house. Oh, I know that story. Yeah. I know that story. And when I say fucked up the pipes, I mean, we were in the basement and there was an inch of water on the ground. Oh, I didn't remember all that.

Yeah. I remember, I remember the... But wait a sec. We went to a lot of friend's grandmother's houses. There's only one. No, there's a couple. Oh, no. I'm talking about...

There's a couple. There's like the infamous one in Astoria. There was one in Jamaica. No, Jamaica. Okay. All right. Okay. Oh, go.

We're nerning it down. Yeah. His grandma's not watching this. She's probably gone. Yeah. Oh. Maybe. I don't know.

I don't mean that in a disrespectful way. Jesus. Yeah. If you were... Could be up there with your dog. Yeah. Yeah. Who knows?

But man, this, this is... And apparently she's suing him. Good. Which the fucking balls on her, man. Yeah. Yeah. Because how do you sue for that? Like, yeah, I was trying to, like, trap you.

I don't think it. I mean, this is the point. It's not against the law to put hot sauce in your shit. I mean, I think it's like your own. It's like your bodily... Like, my child is my property. I own her. So, until she's 18, I legally own her.

And my wife. I'm kidding. No, but like, is it like, like, if I spit into a cup, that's my spit. That's my, now that's my cup. Right. So, like, if I come into a condom, that's my come. Yeah.

My condom. And if I mix hot sauce in it, that's my concoction. Yeah, that's your... That's trademarked as Frank Alvarez LLC. And that's your, that's your prerogative. It's my prerogative. I don't think that's what the word prerogative means. Doesn't prerogative mean, like, plan?

Prerogative doesn't mean plan. I'm pretty sure prerogative means, like, my... I'm pretty sure prerogative means, like, that's, like, your, like, your, um, preference. A right or privilege exclusive to a particular individual or class. I didn't know that. I thought I always thought it was, like, that's my plan.

I thought that's always just always like, this is my plan. I always thought it correctly, I guess. So you were just like, what's your, what's your prerogative? Like, what's your, like, what's your fucking plan here? That's what I always thought. What's your five-year prerogative? Yeah, that's what I, I actually might have asked that exact question during an interview once.

Oh my God, that is hilarious. Oh man. Yeah, all right. So I'm the top three hot sauces I'm putting in. Frank's got to go in there. What's your name? I love Frank's. Crystal, like, crystal.

Oh, okay. And what's the one with the, with the like, like, what? Oh, Tapatio, I just said it earlier. I don't know why I didn't speak to me. Those are all good hot sauces. What about Tabasco? I'm not a big Tabasco guy, a little too smoky for me. I got to say, I like smoke.

I like, you know, I like all things that are smoky. You know, I like campfires. Cigars. Cigars, lapsing Sushong black tea. My microwave, apparently. Definitely your apartment. Yeah. But that was the.

Wait, what was that tea you just said? Lapsing Sushong. OK. It's smoked black tea, Joey. I'll bring you some. It's very good. OK. Frank just got a new tea set.

I did. And he sent us a picture of it, like, he was like a little girl. And he's like, look, I got a new tea set. I was like, ooh. First of all, little girl, offensive. You fucking, clearly you're supporting that in-cell theory I had earlier. Well, I know.

What? Girls like tea sets. Oh, so do boys. Boy. There are other boys that are tea heads, just like me. Is that what you guys call each other? We call ourselves tea heads.

I'm a tea head. I have a tea head. And I'm fucking proud of it. It's an ancient drink, the second most popular drink in the world, behind water. You know that, you son of a bitch? Where are you getting that information? More popular than coffee.

Where are you getting this information? The census. Frankie, no, you're not. No, you think more people drink tea than coffee? Yes. Look at that bitch. If I'm wrong. That was such an aggressive bitch.

If I'm wrong, I'll give you $100. Wait, what am I looking at? What's the most popular drink? The most popular drinks in the world. In the world. What is water? Two is tea. Because bro, that's all they drink in, like, a lot of,

you know, Asian countries. You're like, trying to figure out what it says. I had to find it, I had to find it. Number one. Well, let's go from the top. Yeah. Nine is energy drinks. You freaks.

Don't fucking point fingers. I'm doing it. You drink energy drinks too, you son of a bitch. You had one the other day. You crushed half an energy drink and you were like, I can't have a second half. It's too much caffeine. It's true.

I don't drink half. So don't point fingers. You do it. But I don't drink them, like. The people that, like, their whole personality. Those were also gifted to me. Cool. The people whose, like, whole personality is like,

I drink Red Bull or Monster. Those are the psychopaths that were talking about it. I really think people who drink Red Bull are out of control. Bro, my dad used to crush, like, a six-pack a day. That's insane. He's not had anything amputated yet. Yet. Eight, vodka.

That makes sense. A lot of European countries. Russians. Yeah, Russia. Real quick, what continent is Russia in? Three, two, one. Europe. Nope.

I don't know, bro. Where is it? Asia? Yeah. That's a tough one. You know people call the continent of, like, Australia Oceania? Yeah.

That's awesome. Why don't they just call that whole country that? Australia sucks. No, I think it's all right. Never been. OK, where am I going? OK, seven, wine. Now, yeah.

Now we're getting to Joey's territory. Yeah. And then we have soft drinks. Why do they call that? Because they're like, I don't know why they're called soft drinks, but, you know, Coca-Cola. Yeah, sodas are popular. It can easily be found in any restaurant or convenience store.

Soft drinks are generally made with carbonated water, or official flavors in a sweetener, such as sugar, or high fructose corn syrup. Yeah. Gross. I do love a good fat Coca-Cola, though, and a glass bottle. I haven't had a glass Coke, and oh my god, so weird, dude. When I went to go see the studio, when I was, like,

with the real estate agents, this one guy's like, I was calling him, and I was like, hey, are you there? Because I thought I was meeting him outside. And he's like, no, I'm inside, I'm getting a glass Coke. Why do you specify that? I don't know. That's like those people that, like, know they're doing something wrong, so they

have to come up with this story. So I go inside, and he's there. But he's not getting a glass Coke. He's like, stay in there. And then he's like, I was like, oh, hey, man, are you whoever? And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, I'm going to get a glass Coke. Do you want anything?

And I'm like, two, glass Coke. This light almost fell down. What the fuck? I don't know. Charlie almost knocked it over. All right, we're good. We're good, just leave it. So he double glassed Coke to me, and I was like, double glass Coke.

And then I thought it was funny. I was talking with Greg. I'm like, this is a glass Coke, man, weird. The next time I saw him. Glass Coke. Bro, he glassed Coke to me again. I will say. He's like, I'm going to get a glass Coke.

Do you want one? I'm like, bro, yeah, I'm going to stop. Glass Coke is the superior way to have a Coke. 100%. The best way, absolutely. Anything out of glass is better. Yeah. Five is beer.

OK. That makes sense. Yeah. Four is orange juice. OK, no, that makes sense. That absolutely makes sense. That's a big breakfast, boy. Yeah, I guess.

Three is coffee. Told you, bitch. Told you. Coffee beans are produced in only 70 countries around the world. And many people are drunk as well. I'm not sure if I'm going to want to go on and on and on. It's less than half. Number two is tea.

Told you, you son of a bitch. Number one is water. Tea is made by pouring hot water over cured tea leaves. Yep. This popular beverage can be enjoyed hot or cold. It can. Cold tea? Ice tea.

Are you fucking, were you born yesterday, Joey? Yeah, but I didn't think ice tea was like a real thing, because it's not tea. Yeah, you can make ice tea. Bro, brisk. That's not tea. That's not tea. That's sugar with brown.

Bro, yeah, I can drink a whole bottle of that, and like nothing happens to me. Bro, do you remember the old Nest tea with like the cool snowman with the skeleton arm? So fire. Bro, I used to chug that son of a bitch, like it was fucking piss. And then number one is water.

Yeah, I told you. Shut up. That's interesting. OK. I told you. Bro, I can give you a whole class on tea. I'm not going to do it though, because people aren't going to watch. What was the one?

What was it? Lapsang. Lapsang tea. Lapsang sushiang. Yeah. Also in the news, Kodak black. Yeah. I thought he was fucking clapping cheeks.

No, screw you. Screw you and all these other fucking idiots. Why, you didn't think he was clapping cheeks? No. I grew up in 2005. Bro, there was a video from across the arena. No, no. Filming him and he's got a woman bent over and he's doing this.

Bro, this is what I do when I'm banging. Is that what you do? Oh, this was, that was not good. I don't do that. I don't do that. Josh. I brought it right back. I've never needed a screenshot quite as much as I do now.

Oh god, no. That's all right. It's all right. We already, we already know. I don't do that. It started as a joke and then it is a horrible one. We know. Whoopsie poopsie, by the way.

But I thought he was banging butts. Why did you think he was banging butts? Because he was in banging butt formation. No, he was not. Everyone seems to forget what grinding is. And what is wrong with you people? First of all, I'm no stranger to the grind. Clearly are because you thought he was fucking.

First time I saw that, I was like, oh, this guy's grinding. That's not fucking. He's dubbing. He was dubbing. He was getting, he was catching a quick dub. He was catching a dub. He was catching a hard quick dub, which men like me that grew up in a certain time, that's like, you got to catch a dub.

You never forget. It's like riding a bike. Yeah. If, if, if back when I started throwing it back on me tonight, I know exactly what I'm going to do. You can't refute a dub either. Once, once the dub starts, it's like, it's going to end. It's like the lunar cycle.

You need to figure it out until it's done. Yeah. You know, but I saw that immediately knew he was dubbing. I thought the dude was fucking. Why? Because he was in a private suite and I'm like, whatever, dude, let that pass. Private suite, bro, it was open. It was next to like the owner's box.

Some people like to be seen. And it was like a very random NHL team. What team was it? Florida Panthers. Yeah. Oh, well, he's from Florida, but also very Panthers. Come on. Yeah.

Didn't, didn't see that coming. But yeah, as soon as I saw that and I was like, yo, people forget because it's like all kids now. The internet now is just kids. And they don't, they, they weren't around like dancing. What do you think dancing for kids is now? Like TikTok stuff is like, yeah, bro. What is that?

I don't know. What is that? It's a lot of hand stuff. Bro, when we went to dances as kids, we basically fucked. Yeah. It wasn't as intense as like Jamaican videos you see, but it's definitely what they're doing. The doggie.

That's what they call it. Doggie ring. They're literally just humping as hard as possible. One of the best videos I've ever seen is the, they do like, it's a compilation and they do voiceover from JR and Jim, like Jerry the King Lawler. It's like, he's going to kill him. And it's like fucking like the clip of like Jeff Hardy, like Swanton bombing. It's like this kid's dancing in a club.

Yeah. Like people seem to forget man. No, I, I thought he was banging though. No, I didn't see a bang at all. I saw, I, I saw that audio cut out for me and all I heard was Columnskilla teeth. Oh, I was like, but that also sounds, it does sound like sex. You know what?

I'll give you that a little bit. I'll give you that a little bit. That would be a hard banging of a butt. Some people, they, you know, what's like a realistic bang butt sound? I don't think that's it because that, that's, I don't know. I don't, I don't go. That's, that's insane. That's tough.

That's never happened. No, you have to be fucking like this. Close your eyes. That's how many of this gets you horny. No, I need, I need more like of a, of a clap. Remember what about this? Welcome back to ASMR. It does.

Not bad, right? It is, but what were you doing? I played with my mouth and so anyway, I was like, you're saying that smells, that smells. That sounds like, I would say so. Like what? I would say so. Or butt. I don't know.

I honestly don't know the pause they went or butt. Does, does sex between two gay men sound the same as sex between a street man and a street woman? Or is it like, what are they blowing blowdarks? What are you doing? The butt doesn't get horny and wet. Yeah, it does. The, the butt does not get wet and horny, dude.

Doesn't it? No, I don't think so. He was mad confident. No. I don't know. I mean, then we call someone to like figure this out. Well, if you stuck your finger in your butt. I'm going to text someone right now.

See if they'll answer. Hold on. Hold on. Who? I know who you're going to text. But if, if you stick your finger in your butt right now, there's, it's moist. It's not just like a dry hole. I don't, I don't know about that.

No. But like the inside is moist, but it's like poop moist. It's not just filled with poop. But there's like poop juice. Bro, anything in the inside of your body is wet. Think about it. Anything. Except your ear canal.

Well, like the inside of your butt, but like it's not wet with like sexy horny juices like lubricant. It's wet with like, like leftover dump. No, no, no. No, there's some, there's some natural flow of stuff. There's movement. I don't know. I texted our gay, our like gay concierge. No, that's not it.

Consultant for the show. I haven't gotten anything back yet. Really hoping they respond by the end of the show. He's probably at work, but. Definitely at work. Yeah. Also, not a text. He's supposed to get at work.

Probably not a text you should get, period. Yeah. I'm trying to think, do we know anyone else that's gay? We know a few people that are gay, especially you. I know a couple, but like one of them I don't talk to enough to just be like, hey, tell me about your asshole. Yeah, is your asshole like, you know, you know, soaked. I would, I would, I mean, I guess it wouldn't be out of the blue. Should I ask?

What did you type? I just said, hey, I have a really important question I need you to answer now. Oh my God. I didn't, I didn't say, that's actually somehow worse. They might think I'm in trouble. Yeah, they're going to call you and be like, are you okay? Are you all right? She's like, I just want to know about your asshole.

Yeah. And then they'll be like, oh, I can't talk on the phone right now. I'm at work. Yeah. But I don't think like, if like, if I were to enjoy getting, you know, stuff in my butt. Yeah. If I were to get horny, I wouldn't get my butt wet. Like, you know how girls are like, like, oh my God, I'm so wet.

Yeah, I'm soaking right now. I don't think boys are like that. If they are, I'd be like, are you okay? Do you need a diaper? I don't know. That's what I'm asking. She's like, dude, I am so, my dick is so wet right now. Yeah.

No, I'm not even talking about my dick. I'm talking about my butt. Oh, well, people get swamp ass. Does that count? Swamp ass. But I don't get that and feel any sort of sexual, like, invigoration. Is that even a word? It definitely is.

I like it. So I don't think that, like, I don't know. I really wish, I really wish they would answer because I have a lot of questions. I guess we'll find out next time on the Basement Yard. Oh, no, we're done. I was just going to start making fun of people for not knowing how to dub. That's what kids need to do nowadays.

They need to grind more. Kids. Can you? Kids, get out there and jump. Go out there. I know we're still in a COVID crazy world. Well, they're not facing each other if they're dubbing. So that's COVID friendly.

Oh, you're right. And you can establish six feet. Yeah, you can put your hand on their back. Okay, hold on. If they're real low and you back up, because when you dub, you're not straight up. No. You get knocked over. You get knocked down.

You get knocked again. And you're never going to break me down. I forgot the song for this. I don't know the words. I got knocked down. I got knocked down. I got knocked down. And I've got to keep me down.

That's it. You're like the top of your back. It's like when you're doing pull overs, you know, in the gym. You got to lean against that. The top of your back is on the wall. You have to make a right angle. So you can absorb the blow. So your head is up here.

Their face might be down by your ankles. Yeah, so depending on the flexibility. And the dub experience. Dub experience and the in the height, you know that too if you're under 5 5 don't dub You could get hurt you can get really severely hurt you hear Sean Paul your 5 5 run Get out of there So you're temperature run dude. Just don't even play like it's not a game. Yeah No, the dance floor was never a place of fun

It was either survival very horny or like you were worried for your life Yeah, you know and I was like right in the middle. So like some songs I could hang out All the songs you need to get out. You were too white and small Yeah, I had to like and you went with you went to school in middle school. Yeah with some Dominicans Yeah, and Boric was and they'll hurt you and they're all and they don't care like it's not it's a competition for them because like When you're grinding From me You're not cared about the person that you're grinding with mm-hmm. It's about looking over and see someone else grinding right and it's like

We need we did it. We need to pulverize each other right now. Yeah, it's you know It's a it's a it's a heavy thing. Honestly. You hate me yet. What you hate me yet for what? I don't know Grinding and dubbing you grinding and dubbing and prolonging the episode. I Keep it going. No, I'm where I think I think we're good. What does that mean get the fuck out? Okay? You know where to find me Joe Sanagato on 4chan and 8chan come talk with me about like the things I do on the dark web No, the dark word no selling that huh, I mean, yeah, I mean I was gonna let you go Joe Sanagato, that's the way to let me just fucking like Peter out and fail

Just let me go because eventually it'll just turn to shit. Yeah Just like me If I was 8085 on Twitter the Frank Alvarez on twitch and Instagram go check out the patreon patreon.com slash the baseman yard Sign up today that first tier you get exclusive episodes excuse me the weekly episodes a week in advance That's second tier you get exclusive episodes every single Friday. You're definitely gonna want to do it Go check it out basement yard on patreon patreon.com slash the basement yard yep, you guys can go follow the show at the basement yard on tick tock and Instagram and That is all oh, oh he answered what he said he said do I need to walk away from the office?

Okay, yes. I'm just saying yes. No don't Frankie, please. Oh, all right suspense suspense. It's a cliffhanger next time Next time we'll see you next time on the basement yard. Oh fuck like gay Oh god, all right. Bye. We go like