The Basement Yard - #332 - This Is What It's Like To Party W/ Leonardo Dicaprio

Episode Date: February 7, 2022

Did you know that Leonardo Dicaprio used to run with a crew called The P*ssy Posse? We dive into the history of the wild group. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard Frank. Yes. How are you going? I don't know. How am I going? How are you going? I don't know. Can I answer that? Oh by the way, thank you for your service. ROTC. LLC. That's the part that you're not seeing. Thank you so much for your service. No, no, no, no, no. I don't want to get in trouble for stolen valor. Have you ever flipped a gun? Like... Take it easy. I know where to nice guys. Yeah, yeah, I'm a fucking expensive desk. You gonna pay for it? I did actually. You did basically. My hard work and labor did. Okay. No, no, no. I would like the flipping like where they're like... Have you been in ROTC? No, no, no, no, no. So the reason I have this... Do you know what ROTC stands for?

R-Rarmy? No, I don't... What's a warmer? What does ROTC stand for? Reserve Officer's Training Corps. Oh, okay. All right. That makes sense. Good thing I didn't try to say something and really upset people. I'm not looking to upset the armed forces in any capacity. Are they the armed forces? The religious people. I don't care about them. Clearly. I mean, you've got a fucking target on your back. But no, the reason I have this is when I was in RA, I supervised the LLC, the Army ROTC LLC. What is that? Like the company? No, no, no. It's like... On our campus, we had something called Living Learning Communities. Oh, bro. So like people would live in like on like a floor and it's all people in the same major. So like our floor was all... Not all, but like 90% kids that were Army ROTC. Nice. So I was like tight with them and they would get me merch and swag and shit all the time. Yeah. And I have... That's not the first time I've gotten people thanking me for my service. With that sweater? No, just the sweater. I have another jacket too. What does it say? University of New Haven Army ROTC. And they go, oh.

Well, they don't salute me. Wait. I'm not trying to be offensive. I know. Is ROTC like... It's the training. It's like... Yeah, but is it like thank you for your service kind of stuff? Well, I think... I know it's like, it's probably pre... It's like a preamble. You know, it's like the Star Spangled Banner right before Oh God Bless America. Oh, what the... I don't even know. What song is that? It's the preamble. Oh God Bless America. Oh, no. Take a O out. Just God Bless America. Okay. Why'd you say Oh God? Oh God Bless America. Sometimes that's how I feel. Yeah. Most of the last time you did the Pledge of Allegiance. Bro, I couldn't do it. I Pledge of... I think I kind of actually... Yeah, I Pledge of Allegiance. Goodbye. Yeah. You know? I mean, if you ask certain people, clearly not quick enough. When was the last time you did it though? Man. Maybe at a sporting event? Do they do that? No, they don't do the Star Spangled Banner. Pledge of Allegiance. Pledge of Allegiance. That was heavy. Pledge of Allegiance. Bro, do the flag. You remember our age group, when we were kids, that was like the first time that people got really upset about it. Not really upset, but that's when they were like, yo, we should stop saying certain things. The under God part was the part that like our... I remember when we were in fifth grade, that was a topic of conversation amongst like the, like PTA at our school. It was like, you know, because the part where it's like... The moms were arguing. Indivisible under God or whatever the... Indivisible...

Indivisible and liberty with justice aside of fries and for all. Yeah. We were the first group of like kids where it was like they wanted to change it. And then do you remember, remember that song that like, for some reason isn't bigger than it is, it should definitely be bigger where it's like, And I'm proud to be an American. We're at least under MVP. Yeah. Bro, that's the better than God bless America. And God bless America. And the Star Spangled Banner. Star Spangled Banner sucks. Francis Scott Key sucks, bitch. With three names? Yeah, I don't... Yeah, but one of them is Key. And Scott? And Francis? Yeah, for all of these collectively. Francis sucks. The comb helps me. I'd like to beat him up. Well, so, but yeah, no, he's way gone. That song is fire. And I remember for our fifth grade graduation, which they made us sing songs. Yeah. Why? We sang mad songs. We sang three songs. We sang, got proud to be an American, which we yeah, the wind beneath my wings. You are the wind beneath my wings. And then there was one more Celine Dion song. Um, no, I'll fucking what's the one like you helped me grow up. What's that song? You raise me up. No, no. When I am here. I don't know. When I am here. I don't know. You raise me up so I can stand up. Oh, Josh Groban. Josh Groban. Yeah, but we didn't sing that. We sang Celine Dion. It was, it was something like you raised me and that's why I'm good. Oh, oh, I, it's in my head to stop what you're doing. Stop what you're doing. Stop what you're doing. It's like you're my mom and you raise me. That's not it. That's not it. You're important to me. If you. Well, what is it? Thank you. It's like my dad and my mom raised me. I don't think anyone cares about their dads.

I think if you just stopped for a quick second, I'll get it. I'm going to get this is how this is my process. Um, you raise. We walked. We won't. They did walk together. Fuck. What is it? I walked beside you. No. It's the Celine Dion song. Jesus Christ. It's like, uh, everything I am because you love me. What the hell was I talking about? I walked beside you. I don't know. You went way. You fucked me up and raised me up. I'm pretty sure she gets she gets raised up in that one. Well, I mean, yeah, but that's what because you love me. Yeah, we did. They made us sing full songs. Yeah, three full songs. What the fuck? No, I don't know. I'm supposed to be graduating. I had to learn three songs. Yeah. Um, but that that the God, the proud to be in America. Yeah, they during for our graduation, because it says like, and I won't forget the men who died. They were like, forget the men who dad. Schnitzer was like, yo, we're going to say ones who died. The ones who because met and women died for us. That's a fact. That is super fact. Shout out to Miss Schnitzer. Schnitzer mean old German. I assume. Is she still kicking? Definitely. Oh, you think so? The real don't die. She was. She was pushing 60 at least. Yeah. When we were, when we were around. Yeah, she barks like a dog. She broke the, the, we've spoken about it before the timber on this woman's voice. Yeah, she was. Yeah, she was. She was real thin, but she had a bark. She, yeah. I mean, you know, typical German woman, you know, you wouldn't, you wouldn't blink twice at her. And then you heard her, you're her bellowing scream. I know that she had glasses, but I don't know that I've ever looked into her eyes. I did look into her eyes. I couldn't breathe for an hour. Yeah, it was a scary time. Yeah. But yeah, those, those were the times where like, and then wait, fourth grade, we sang too. We sang. Well, fourth grade was different. Yeah. We sang R Kelly. We did. Yikes. World's greatest. It's like little fucking no joke. Nine and 10 year old kids like, Hey, I made it. I'm, I was great. Listen, say what you want about the man. Bro. That song slaps. Song is a hitter. That song is a good song. What happened? I was, I had my foot on your dog's face. You're trying to kick my dog in the face? I didn't. But. Fucked up, dude. Yeah. And then we sang, we had a play, an America play. Wait, what? You don't remember that? You might not have been in it. I was definitely in it. I was the narrator. What the fuck are you talking about? We had a play. Wait, if you were in a play, I would have had to gone. I mean, if you, I hope you did because I supported you when you lost in the first round in the spelling bee. First of all, wasn't the first round you fucking asshole. Traveled, Joe. Traveled. I fucked it up. No, I, it was, we did like, cause it was right after 9 11. Hold on. Jesus. That's why we, it was like a, it was like an America play. And I remember it was like, it was like an American play.

And I remember our American cousin. And then I played Abraham Lincoln. They shot me. No, it wasn't like a real play. It was like something that the fucking school put together. All right. I have to say something real quick because I'm going to forget if I don't. And this is, like I said, there are times in your life where you just have this weird memory from when you're super young. You're like, I don't know why I remember this, but whatever. I was sitting in my mom's car. It was just me in my mom's car. It was like a white station wagon, like disgusting freak show car. Okay. But our school would put on plays. Yes. And one year it was Greece and the kid who played Danny Zuko. I think we were in like first grade, right? The kid who played Danny Zuko. I don't even know who the fuck he is, but he like, he played Danny Zuko. I remember seeing him being like, that kid's in the play. Listen, I was sitting in my mom's car, right? And I don't know why this happened. Sitting in my mom's car, Danny Zuko. This is months after the play. But I'm like, oh, it's Danny Zuko. Walks up to the car, looks at me, spits on the glass right at my face and then walks away. I was like, Zuko. I got spit at before by a convict. I would, yeah. By a criminal? Yeah. Keep going with yours and then I'll go with mine. Well, I was just going to say that the window was up so I didn't get spit on. I spit on my window. I think I know, I think that there was a year they did Greece, if not multiple years, and I think you're old neighbor Richie. It wasn't him, bro. I'm telling you, I'm not saying that year, but I have pictures of him in a leather jacket and a white t-shirt. He may have been a T-Bird.

And girl, he was a T-Bird. T-Bird. He was a T-Bird. But I got spit on by a convict. When were you hanging out in prisons? I wasn't hanging out in prisons, but we were, my dad and I, we were in the car, my whole family were in the car, my dad was driving. And we had pulled up to, you know that like right next to Memorial Field, there's like that entrance to La Guardia. And then, you know, you stay on that road and it occurs.

I know where this is going. And it brings you to Rikers. Yeah. There was a corrections bus right next to me and I was on the phone with my then girlfriend. Talking about God knows what. I'll tell you exactly what we were talking about. I'm not going to tell you what we were talking about. I don't remember.

Yeah. But, and I remember, I like vaguely heard like, you'll hang up the phone. Hang up the phone. Hang up the fucking phone. And I'll tell you, I'm fucking 13 maybe. 12, 13. I think, I remember ignoring it because I was like, they're not talking to me. If they are, I'm ignoring it.

Yeah. But the windows stay down and they were like, you'll hang up the fucking phone, motherfucker. And I just like, and we were stopped at a red light and then I felt, wait, you were in a car? Yeah, bro. And I remember I felt like spray water, like criminal spit, spit, which is a bad spit. Also another crime. And it's a definite crime.

Yeah. And I remember like the first time I thought nothing, and then I heard like the two. Oh, the double spit, double two. Wait, he spit twice? Double spit twice at me. Dude, he hated that you were on the phone. I was so upset. And I like put the phone down.

Wasn't he was behind a gated window? Yeah. So I had to, oh my God, you talked that shit? I, a little bit. You talked shit to a spitting criminal? A little bit. What did you say? I said, what the fuck?

That's what you said. Yeah. Yeah. And then my dad rolled, my dad like caught on, rolled the window up and just drove through the red light. What the fuck? Yeah. And then he got him.

Did he say anything bad? He hadn't said something bad. If he did. I knew. I was locked it out. I was locked and loaded to what was going to come next for me. It was going to be, you're a criminal. You know, piece of shit.

Something along those lines really just, you know, twist the knife. Right. You know. Well, he's aware of that. He's in the bus. He was in the bus on the way to the slam house. Yeah. Well, they don't call it that.

What do they call it? The slammer. The slam house. Well, depending on, you know. Well, it's a slam house and a slammer. Yeah. Somebody gets slammed at the slam house. At least once a day there's slamming going on.

Isn't that crazy? Hmm. Do you ever stop and think like right now somewhere in like in within like five blocks there might be fucking. Well, fucking is not the word I would use. Slamming. I would use an hard word. Whoa.

Why are you going that? Because that's what happens. Oh, unless you think like consensual, I'm talking like consensual sex. Joey, I'm not. Dude, we're talking about spitting criminals. I'm assuming they're not asking. Yeah. Well, I mean, maybe they do ask in prison.

I'm sure some people do. I would hope they do. You know, don't want to accrue any additional charges. You got a life sentence. Yes, sir. How long is that life sentence? You're going to be like, whatever dude. I see.

I'll let one of the gay inmates suck me. Well, how long into it? This is the thing. We've talked about this before and I stand by. It's not gay to let someone suck you. If you go to the park, you're looking to slide down a jungle gym. You know what I'm saying? Frankie, I have no idea how that pertains to this conversation,

but one more time. No. I said what I said. I think. So day one is what your answer is. No. No. It really depends.

You need to be in love. No. I need to know that like I like there's no way I'm getting out. Like there's no way I'm going to get out. There's no like I am in this place forever. Period. There's no like possibility of parole. There's no good behavior.

And then and then after a while, I would say after like three years, it'll start to sit in like sink in. And then I'd be like, damn, like there's a baddies walk around. Yeah. I mean, you know, you could. Yeah. I could beat it for a year. You know, it's like you don't realize like your eyes always see your nose.

And then like you don't realize it. So like you'll be in that shower always seeing butts. And then one day you'll be like, it's kind of a good butt. There's butts around. Yeah. Yeah. You know, and I think at that point, maybe it would set in. But I have no intent.

I think a year. I think a year. I could. I could. You could beat it for a year. And then that 366 day, you're just like time to time to do it. Yeah. I don't know.

That's aggressive, man. Yeah. That was a question. I didn't even think we were going to. We talked right before this about what we were going to speak about. This had nothing to do with any of it. Literally not. Oh, you're going to tell me what happened to you this morning.

Well, yeah, I've had a rough day so far. Oh, it's two o'clock. Okay. So I, you know, I have to drive up from South Jersey. So I got to, I got to live on the parkway. Parkway pretty good with traffic. Usually not a lot of traffic, but when there is an accident, it's fucking devastating. And it like shuts down the whole fucking parkway basically.

And not like, I'm talking like fender bender. Like it's like the fucking New Jersey state police are out and they're like, yo, everyone needs to like stop what they're doing right now. And I left the house. I drink tea in the morning. You know, I get my tea fluids. Of course. I usually have a liquid IV, you know, sup free plug plug free plug free plug.

And I drink a lot of fluids, but normally it's spaced out that like every like 30 miles, there's a rest stop. So I'm like, yo, if I got a P, I'm good, you know, but there was an accident and I had a P. So I was not good. So what do you do? You pull over to the side of the road. I'm in a rental car right now. I can't.

Oh, because when your fucking hood went out? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They had like it like bunch of recalls and shit on my car that I hadn't gotten done in years. Perfect. So I was driving a death trap is what I'm trying to say.

I pulled to the side of the road and I'm like, all right, I can't pee in a bottle as I normally would while I'm driving because rental don't want to mess it up. And two, I need to like I need to pee bad and I didn't have a bottle, you know, so I pulled to the side of the road. And bro, we got fucking 18 inches of snow over the weekend. Jesus. Yeah, we got a lot. So it was a bit much.

I had to hop over the barricade, which the like cloud snow. Wait, is it like just traffic right now? Yeah. So people watched you hop over the barricade. Oh, yeah. And dash into the woods. Yeah. To shit or piss.

Piss. Well, no, I'm telling you now, don't don't start. That's fine. That's fine. Don't start because you did this when you start and you're starting this rumor on the internet that I fucked my cousin. And now you're going to start this rumor that I'm just fucking just pulling onto the side of the road and just dumping.

Bro, some people got a dump on a side of roads. I respect those people. You've never done that? No. Have I? Yes. You've probably. You definitely have.

I have shit everywhere. Your fucking body can't handle it. My body can't handle it. Your body somehow you've not been diagnosed or anything worse than mine. So you hopped over the railing and dash into the woods. Yes. But I'm not wearing the proper gear. I'm wearing jeans and work boots.

My scoots. Yeah. My scoots are good for a lot of things. Sketcher boots. Yes. Walking through snow. Not one of them. And I'm like, it's like an area of the woods where it's like barren.

So there's no like vegetal cover. I'm sorry. What is that? It's barren. Like you could see from the road, you could see like a half mile into the woods. Vegetal cover. Vegetal coverage. You know, like shading.

Yeah. So you can hide. Every single person there was able to see me. So I had, I ran in probably like, I would say like 50 yards. 50 yards. Yeah. I needed to get as far away as I could. Okay.

And I fell. On what? You tripped on a branch. So there was a branch that was like knee high and I went to go jump over it. Didn't happen. Didn't work. So you hit this branch, you go down. Down.

Face into the snow. Yeah. Like thick snow and like powder. So I'm now covered in snow and I got a P. Oh, P probably came out, but I was so cold. I couldn't feel it. Was it cool that it was like a smoking steamy. It was a really cool P. Dude peeing outside in the winter is one of the coolest things ever.

I, my dog pisses at well done. Well, your dog, your dog, your dog's all fucked up with their P. What? Charlie's P stream is all fucked up. What do you mean? He pisses like a fucking 98 year old in a nursing home. What do you mean? Bro, I've seen your dog pee.

I've watched him pee. Like he shoots it off. Like it's a fucking super soaker. It's like whip, shump, whimp, shump. He like stops. He like cuts it off for some fucking reason. Bro, he's, you know, he doesn't have a steady stream. It's like an unhealthy stream, dude.

You might want to check your dog's dick. Yeah, I'll get on that. Well, bring him to the fucking doctor. You don't. He's bent to the dock. Don't. Don't you ever speak about my dog. I'm going to speak about your dog's balls.

Oh, no, they don't exist anymore. Not anymore. Cock. Absolutely. Yeah. And then you walked out of the woods covered in snow like an abominable snowman who just took a piss. Yeah.

I'm shocked. Is that illegal? To piss on the road? Yeah, on the side of the road. Like I went in deep. Like I was behind a tree. I like. You can't piss outdoors, but why?

That I don't know. I'm not like showing my fucking like they would have to prove intent for me to show my ding dong. No, but I don't think, I don't think, ding dong, I haven't heard that in so long. I think that it's illegal just to pee outside in any capacity. But like, it's illegal to pee outside near

like a fucking church because you know, you don't want to upset like the churchgoers and like near a school, that I understand. You don't want to pee on the angels. You don't want to pee on the angels. Yeah. And they gotta know. Yeah, obviously you can't piss on a school. Yeah, well I'm not saying on a school,

but like near a school, like bro, there was nothing around. What's near a school? Bro, there's a, like on the block of a school. Yeah, dude, there's, bro. No, cause I can't go. If I walked outside right now, there's no schools about.

Actually, that's not, that's the school over there. There's a school right there. I walked three blocks that way. Literally. Three blocks that way. I just piss. I can't piss, but I think if you, but like it's tough in a city

cause there's always stuff around. But like, bro, I'll ask this, can you pee in your own backyard? I don't think so because you're showing dog. But I have high fences. Well, then you could probably, no, bro. If I pissed in your yard, people would see. No, I've peed in my yard a bunch.

Frankie. You've pissed in your own backyard. Yeah. Frankie, you're a hop, skipping a jump to a bathroom. Listen, there is sometimes I'd rather just. Too bad. How many bathrooms do you have in your house? Three.

It's a little tough because, and I'll explain why. Wait, you. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. You go outside to your backyard. I don't like actively choose to go out there to pee. But you're out there and suddenly you get the. I'm gonna set the scene. I'm gonna set the mood.

I'm out in the back, 1130 at night. I'm having a cigar. I'm having a glass of whiskey. I have two sleeping kids in the house and potentially a sleeping wife. So you piss outside like a dog. I go into the corner where the composement is and you let it leak.

I don't like, I make sure I control it. I make sure no one can see. You make sure you control it. What is that? What is your dick? Get erratic? No, like. Control it.

I'm not like, you can't hear pee. Like it's like, you wouldn't know I was peeing. Bro, you're standing in the corner of your yard. Yeah, no one can see. What do you think you're doing? A Rubik's Cube? You're pissing. No one, no one even knows.

I'm back there, dude. I don't know, man. I think you're, I think you're way less shady than you think. I think I'm pretty good. Like what, like, I think I'm safe. I think I'm all right to pee on my own property. I mean, I've been walking.

It's a fenced in backyard. Six-wood fence, privacy fence. If I go to the corner, they ain't gonna see me. Isn't there not a fence to your right? No, there's fences the whole way. We got a fence installed. Oh, okay. We got a fence installed.

If there was just like people could see, big fat problem. But no, no one could see. So you're just pissing in your own yard. You know, that's hilarious. Yeah, so, and then I, you know, I- You ever shit out there? No. Jesus Christ, Joey. What's wrong with you?

Oh, like, that's the craziest question ever. That's absolutely- Pissing is a gateway to shitting. First of all, it's not a gateway drug. And when it's ever pissed, it's not ever shit. But everyone who's ever shit has definitely always pissed. No, that's not true. It's bulls and frogs.

Frankie. Bulls and frogs. Everywhere I've pissed, I've also shit. No. No, I'm saying every time you piss- Actually, I've shit in more places than I've pissed probably. No, because when you, when you shit, pee comes out.

Every time you, every time you piss, every test, Joey. Every time- Not when I'm outside and scared. Every time you piss, you shit. Yeah, but I- Every time you shit. No, excuse me, every time you piss, you don't shit.

But every time you shit, you do piss. No, but if I'm outside and I'm like, oh no, no. That kind of thing. And I have nowhere to go. And I have to- Is that what you- It's way worse than that. I literally moaned like a fucking dying deer.

Why? Because I'm embarrassed. I'm like, I'm through. Now I have to go to this alleyway. I'd love to see if, on the side of the road that I was outside, if there's one of those like hunting cams where it like catches deers. Like, you know, if it's just like me, just like pissing.

Dude, wouldn't that be a little bit of like a legitimate fear of like, if you lived in one of these places where like the discovery channel goes and like, they just leave a camera there for like months. If you just, just pulled up to one shit right in it. Well, I think like they would not be able to show the footage. Like they would need to- Oh, but there's a guy who's seen your shitting asshole.

Whatever. Bro, what do you mean shitting asshole? You're in a crouched position. Where's the camera underneath you? No, what do you like lean up against that fucking- I would assume you'd lean up against something or you just crouch. Yeah, like you just, you know, like a catcher.

Yeah, exactly. Yes, maybe a little more like valiant and like fucking- Valiant. Yeah, like graceful. How do you gracefully shit on the fucking earth? I'll figure a way out and then I'll report back to you. But I presume there is one. I have wanted to like pee outside when I'm walking Charlie

because I'm like, he gets the pee. Bro, you're gonna tell me you've never peed on your deck? No, why that? Why wouldn't you? Because there's two baths. Yeah, but oh, you don't have sleeping kids. You don't get it, Joey. You don't get it.

You don't have children- Still, dude. I don't know if I could just piss on my own shit, like stuff, like area. I mean, I'm not pissing on my stuff. I'm going and finding like, I'm not like being like, oh, Miles is fucking playhouse.

Let me piss all over this. I'm not doing that. It's like, I find a corner that's burying. Our compost bin is over there. I go next to the compost bin in the corner and I pee. A barren place in my backyard. Yeah, I'm not fucking, if you think I'm sitting there

and I'm just like pissing all over everything, you have another thing coming. No, I don't think that. Well, good, I hope not. Because that's not what was happening. And if it is illegal, I'm joking. Do you spit in your backyard too? I have.

There was one night I got- We're collecting bodily fluids. Yeah, yeah, well it's good for the lawn. It's biodegradable. Spit? Yeah. Not good. Piss too.

If I really wanted to be fucking cool. No, not good for your lawn. Yes it is. Piss? Piss is good for your lawn. Piss isn't good. Yes it is. It's pee, it's good for your lawn.

No it's not. Yes it is. Shit's good for your lawn. And piss. I don't know that even human shit's good for your lawn. I think human shit is just like fertilizer. Because dogs pee into lawns and improves it. Because you give away the waste of like the foods

that you eat. So it's like yo, like if you want like some like, you know, chicken and fucking this. Piss is bad for your lawn. I don't think so dude. Look it up. It's human piss bad for your lawn. I don't think so.

I'm the lawn guy, I have a lawn Joey. Yes, human urine can kill grass and weeds for many, for many reasons. Okay, I'm not peeing on grass. I'm peeing on weeds. So I guess if I'm killing weeds, it's good. Get the fuck out. I think I'm all right.

I think I'm all right here. And again, if it's illegal, I'm joking. All right, let's get to these ads. Okay, all right. And then we'll jump back into it. You mentioned the cops like, Frank Alvarez of the Basement Yard. We saw your fucking episode loser.

Episode 318, whatever it is. We need to talk to you. Yeah. I'd be like, where's this corner of your piss? Yeah, it's I'm joking. Go check your piss corner by the way. I mean, right now it's all dead because of the winter. Yeah, it's gonna stay that way.

You want to bet? I guarantee that corner of my fucking backyard is gonna be green and flourish. Not if I get over there. Yeah, well, next time I come over, going right to the corner, piss and all that. I'm a shit-backed. I dare you.

To shit in your yard? I dare you to do it. Okay. You won't. Is there any cover for me? 150 bucks, you don't do it. If you pay me 150 dollars, I will shit in your yard. Yeah.

Yeah. 150 bucks. I'm paying for him to come visit me, guys. And shit in his yard. Hey, man. You know, you can't hate the player or the game. It's the cost of doing business. That's shit.

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for your most stress-free Valentine's gift, gifting yet. Join the movement, you know what I mean? MVMT, again, MVMT.com slash basement, 20% off today with free shipping and free returns, all right? All right, Frank, I actually have a question for you. It's just, I don't know why I just thought of this, but I was wondering if you would know.

Because here's the thing. In the past week or so, me and Frank are being revered as these feminists. We're feminist icons. We are. We're like, oh my God, they're like, you know, whatever. So. Part of the movement.

You know, I just kind of, yeah, which we are, you know what I mean? Absolutely. We respect women. All about it. On the show. But. Uh-oh, no, there's no but there. No but.

No but. Yes, no. No but. But. But. Because I didn't know this. Okay. Do you know what OBGYN stands for?

We know what it is. It's the vaginal doctor. Yes. I do. Vaginal doctor. Vaginal. Vaginal doctor. Doctors of Vagina.

Yeah. Do you know what OBGYN? I do. I do. It is the first couple of letters of two different words. It's obstetrician and gynecologist. Damn dude. What's up, babe?

Way more feminist than. We thought. Wait, who thought? Than we thought like. Oh, they don't know about us, bro. We're feminist icons. Yeah. People don't fucking know.

Obstetrician. Don't ask me what they do. I was going to say, what is an obst. I see the. Woman's obstace. Yeah, I don't know. I'm looking at obstacles. And I'm like, is that a stretch?

Because they do stretch it open. They have to. Well, they crank it open. Well, no. Sometimes they crank it. Well, they can. Well, I don't know why I'm doing this. I think this is a jack in a box.

I think it's more of like, you know, like those old timey rail carts. Two guys going up. This is fucking. No, no, no. No, they put this tool in and it's got metal screws on. What's the name of that tool? It's a, you know.

Look it up and try to get me to guess it. Name of the vagina, Jack. Vaginal opening. Pain, itching, swelling. No, no, no, no, no. Don't need any of those. OK, vaginal opening tool. There's a bunch, baby.

There's a lot of words here and I don't know any of them. OK. Hold on. Vaginal opening tool. This has got to be it. You're not going to get it. OK, give me, give me like a hint. Oh, no.

This has got to be it. Point me in the direction. How? There's stirrups involved. No, bro. That's on the bed. I'm only talking about. That's on the bed.

Yeah, bro. I knew that. It's like they're little cowgirls. They stick the fruit in. Yee-haw. Yee-haw. Let's check your meme all. Your.

You're. We're fucking idiots. Yeah. OK. OK, what is it? I have the name now. OK. So is the word Jack in there?

No, bro. It's not a car, Jack. They wouldn't do that. That'd be too. That's too masculine. Exactly. Maybe Jill. Jack and Jill.

So they wouldn't put Jack in there. No. But they would put Crank. No, Frank. It's not called a Puss Crank. I didn't say Puss Crank. I would have said like, you know. I don't know what I would have said, but not Puss Crank.

Bro, hold on. Oh my god. I typed it into Google, the name of the thing. And the thing that came up was using a whatever on yourself. So people in their houses open up their own stuff. I guess they can. I guess they can. Apparently it's, you know.

You want to check it out. It is not required, but you know, it's heavily suggested that women understand their own anatomy and not have to just go to a doctor because. Bro, this is a ridiculous fucking tool here. I don't even know how it works. I mean, I assume there's a lever. And listen.

It's not short. It's long. It's just going to open it up. I mean, you know, there's a couple inches they need to go in there. Yeah, but. So it's called, give me a hint. Give me, like, what does it sound like?

Like, sounds like. It sounds like a cable company. Is it a movie? No, it's a first word book. It sounds like a cable company. Cable. Cable company. It literally, it does.

Cable vision? No, not the word cable. All right, so, like, Intelli, IntelliViewer. No. No. It sounds like a real one. Oh, like, fucking, like, Optum. Optum Cranker.

No, it's not that. Optum. But we're like, we're like. OptumViewer. We're, we're flirting with something. Opta. Think, think glasses, like. Optical.

No, no. Forget it, get away from optical. You just said think of glasses. Yeah, but like, I'm saying like, what do you call glasses? Lens. Bifocals. Yeah, that's what it's called. It's called a bifocal.

A bifocal bussy locator. I don't know, I don't know, what is it? A speculum. A speculum. Oh, like spectrum. Inspect it out. Inspect it. Inspect the Yulum.

The Yulum. Yeah. But. But yo, you want to, anyone out there, is how you use one on yourself? I personally don't have the tools required. A vagina. Yeah.

I mean, you could open up other stuff. I promise you, I don't want to. Well, you could. There, there's got to be like, people buy those to like, use them. To like, pee in each other and stuff. Oh, open you up, let me. Like, sex, like, weird sex thing.

Like, open up your stuff, let me pee in it. Let me throw a, you know, ping pong ball in. I mean, you're asking for like, you know, all kinds of UTIs and. Well, they properly sanitize, I'm sure. It's not like they're just sitting there. It's piss, dude. We just went over this.

You piss will kill your grass. It will definitely hurt your both. It kills your grass, it'll fuck up your ass. Yeah. OK, look, this is how you use one. One. Step one. Find a place to relax.

Oh, that's it. You know what? I'm glad they included that in step one, because any time I've been to a doctor, they never tell me, step one, relax. They say, open up. Here come cold hands and a really aggressive thumb. Drop your fucking pants right now.

Yeah. Find a place to relax. This can be a floor or your couch, wherever you feel comfortable. Fuck feels comfortable on the floor. Now, step two. Garbage like me. Step two, lie back.

OK. They're very descriptive. All right, should I do this on the table? Will this table hold me? I'm not confident. So I won't do it. Because Charlie's under here. Yeah, no.

Three, bend your knees with your feet wide apart. So now we're like in sumo position. So like this. What the fuck are you doing? So these are my knees. My elbows are my knees. So I'm bringing them in, and then I'm opening up. Are you an idiot?

No, that's what it is. No. Bend your knees and keep your feet wide apart. Yes. So that means like a sumo wrestler would, like, put your legs on there and then just bend down. I thought they needed the knees to be close, and then you can just kind of work that ACL a little bit.

No, bro, we got to open up this fucking thing. Four, lubricate the speculum and insert your vagina in the closed position. Wait, there's a hole. I thought the vagina had a closed position. Oh, I was going to say, hold on. If this had the closed position, I didn't know that there was different positions.

I know you guys go up and you close these things. Is this your switch? Yeah, experiment to find the most comfortable position for inserting the speculum. OK, so I'm experimenting. Five, once the speculum is inserted, grab the shorter section of the handle and firmly pull it toward you until it opens inside your vagina.

So this is like a train. Like a cork gun. A cork gun? Not a cork gun. What's that? What's the shit that goes on the grout? Yeah, no, not grout. A caulking gun.

So you're like loading this thing. And then you've got to fire it off. You've seen one. They're like a gun. No, I've never seen. Bro, it looks like a penguin's mouth. Bro, it looks like Daffy Duck after he gets his bill shot off by fucking Elmer Fudd.

It does. Now we're getting crazy. Push down on the outside section. Wait, what? What? Until you hear a click while keeping a firm hold on the speculum. The speculum is now locked in place.

Bro, this thing's legit like a gun. Bro, what happens if you need to stand up? You better not. Or if you fall down, you slip. You're going to like your insiders. Well, this is why you need to be laying down. Comfortable. Comfortable place.

Part seven. Part seven. Seven? Why is this like the helmet? And then they cross the fucking rings of Mordor. And it's like, bro, what? OK. Place the mirror at your feet so that you can see your shit.

It says vagina. It doesn't say that. Move the speculum while shining the flashlight into the mirror. Oh, that's smart. Oh, so you need. Wait, so you stand up? I think.

I didn't know that. No, you need a mirror. Just so you can be laying down. You can lay down in front of a mirror. You've got to shine off that to bounce it into here. They're doing some fucking refraction reflection stuff here, man. This is high level stuff.

Hell, yeah. Take note of the color of your cervix. They change colors? I think they can be different. They're like mood rings. They get upset and shit turns purple. What the fuck? There's a little card that comes with it.

And it's like, you are happy today. It's like, you know, get ready. You're angry. Take note of the color. Oh, wait. Did I miss? Oh, yeah. Move the speculum while shining the flashlight into the mirror

until you can see your cervix and vaginal walls in the mirror. Yeah, then you take note of the color. Remove the speculum after your examinations. You can either do it in the closed position or observe it when it comes to you. Thoroughly wash it with antiseptic soap or alcohol. That's smart. And store for your next exam.

That's a lot, man. So we just went on a ride there. That's a lot. We kind of know what's going on. That's crazy. I didn't know that they were looking for colors. Is that the same one? Could they also use that for the butt?

Isn't that cameras? No, I'm sure they can crank the butt open. Yeah, but I don't think anyone's cranking their butt open for what? Why would they be cranking a vagina open? The same reasons. Medical, hopefully. Yeah, I don't think anyone does everything medically. I think that sometimes there's a little funky stuff.

Yeah, this thing has been used by freaks and geeks out there. Yeah, I think so as well. That's crazy, unfortunately. You didn't know obstetrician and gynecologist? No, I didn't. But I knew gynecologist. You didn't know that. I knew that a gynecologist was an OBGYN,

but I didn't know what OBGYN stood for. You thought it was just a cool, like, Wu Tang lyric, like, OBGYN, man. No, I just thought, like, gynecologist and then OB was probably some medical shit, like, you know, observers. I don't know, observer of the vagina. Yeah, well, I mean, that's not wrong, I think. But there's got to be a difference

between a gynecologist and an obstetrician. I think maybe, like, the gynecologist is, like, cool with, like, the exterior. You know, like, they do, like, the shading along the building. And then the gynecologist, the obstetrician, is, like, inside, like, working on the piping. Yeah, the gynecologist is working on the piping. Okay.

The obstetrician is, like, cool with, like, they're, like, the exterior designer and stuff. Nah. They're, like, oh, my God, this would look great and, like, rustic and, like, old colonial. Different. No. Okay. Old colonial.

Specializes in pregnancy, childbirth, and a woman's reproductive system. Gotcha. So the... Kind of like a midwife or something. Nope. So, you know... They specialize in childbirth, though. Well, that's their job is to be, like, there. Yeah, to chill and, like, catch the baby.

I think so, like, the OB is, like, yo, we know how the pipes work for what they're intended to work for. And the OBG. And the GYN is, like... We're gonna manually. We want to make sure we're maintenance. We're the superintendent of this building.

We're gonna do it, yeah. So the OB is the... You tell me what's leaking. I go in and fix it. The OB is the architect. Yeah. They make sure everything is coming together good. Yeah, everything's up to code here.

The gynecologist is, like, I'll be a live-in. The fixed rocket. And I'll make sure, like, everything is good. And if we have a problem, we'll contract out to somebody else. Exactly. They make a good team. Men don't have...

Wait, no, they're one person. Like, maybe. So maybe... I would presume all, again, frogs and toads. It's like a construction worker that then becomes an architect and they're in ones. It's like, I know how to build it and I know how to design it.

That's very smart. That's an OBGYN. I think it's like, you know, it's gotta be, like, all OBs are GYNs, but not all GYNs are OBs, you know? Frogs and toads, peeing and shitting, you know? Like, it's in the same fucking... Peeing and shitting.

Like we said before, like, every time you piss, you don't shit, but every time you shit, you piss. Oh, you're doing a lot of this, like... Hey, man, world is a weird place and I'm just here to help people understand it. You're doing a great job. I think I am. Yeah.

Hold on, wait a sec. No, you've been... I know exactly what you've been doing. You've been trying to divert it. Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. Your favorite segment, 2022, keeping it Frank, where I, Frank, am here to, you know, shed light on the atrocities of the human world and keep it Frank.

So, Joey, it's been a while since we've spoken and I think you've been having a good time so far, right? In this episode, you're here, you're happy. Let me ask you something. Do you think that good deeds should be reciprocated? Just get to it. I ordered you food and bought you food last week when you weren't answering me and I, being a tundery boy...

That means hungry for anyone. That's the Alvaro's cutie language. You didn't fucking order me food. And you knew I was probably hungry. I didn't know that. Yeah? No. How many times do I ask you, are you a tunders?

Which, in our language... I'm with you. Almost every time I come, right? Recently, Joey does the thing where he's eating clean for a week and a half, so he's like, bro, honestly, no, I have brown rice. I have my protein shake. I'm good for a fucking couple hours.

So you won't take food when I offer it. But a couple days ago, I was like, yo, I'm ordering food, do you want anything? You didn't answer. Out of the kindness of my heart, I got you a couple chicken tacos. You did. Which you ate very quickly.

They were good. They are not bad. And I'm a very selfless person. That's one of the benefits about being a dad and a husband. I do most of my things with somebody else in mind. Same with you. I treat you as my child and partner. And when I do things, I do them to benefit you.

But you don't fucking reciprocate it. You're really good at gaslighting, you know that? I'm not, don't, don't you dare, you son of a bitch. Don't you dare. I have a kindness of my heart. I have a kindness of my heart. Well, why didn't you order me food? Why didn't, I'm not even ordering me food.

Why didn't you even ask? Well, one, because we hadn't made contact. Yes, we had. I checked the receipt. What time did I order that? You made, I checked the receipt. You ordered it after we had already spoken for the day. For the day?

Like I told you like what time I was gonna be there. To be honest, I thought I ordered it before you because it's all the way in Long Island City. Yeah, no, no, no. You ordered it at 11.52 AM. It's three o'clock. Oh, I know what time it is, because I'm very hungry. And we first spoke at 9.30.

When did we speak at 9.30? Oh, you called me at the gym. When you were at the gym. Don't get it confused. I wasn't. Yeah. And then I forgot about that. And then I texted you,

literally as you were ordering that I was on my way. As you click fucking submit. I forgot that you called me this morning. So answer me why you didn't at least offer to give me food. I was, I guess under the assumption, which I'm pretty good with that. I text you sometimes when I'm ordering food. Sometimes, but not often.

But no, I don't do that. Yeah, I know. That's what I'm saying. No, but I'm saying, no, this is the first time that this has happened. Where I had food and you were like, yo. Yeah, but in the past, it was the last of judgment. In the past, you have ordered food

and you had just surprised me with stuff before. You have done that. You surprised me with mozzarella sticks once. Boy, was I happy that day. So you have shown, you're actually supporting my fucking argument here. You have shown the ability to be selfless, but in this situation, you actively chose to not be

and I want to know why. Not actively. What did I do? Passively, passively. No, you didn't do anything. And I also was probably under the assumption that, oh yeah, right, right, right, right. What?

Or you always have food. That's not true. There's times you come in, you know, I got a sandy. My, I'm very gracious that my wife makes me food sometimes. And when those times happen, I eat it within minutes of leaving the house because I am a freak as always and I need to eat all the time. Right.

But you eat it in the car while you're about to piss. Not, well, yeah. I ate a sandwich on the side of the road. No, no, no, I drive, baby. I don't stop. There's no stopping this train this morning. Oh yeah. I ate a sandwich while pissing in the woods.

Yeah, it was a rough morning, but, well, ladies and gentlemen, so I don't know what just happened. Yeah, you checked everything. Ladies and gentlemen, you know, maybe next time, just be more selfless. And I won't have to keep it frank. That was a good outro. That was not bad, right?

Pretty good. I'm getting better at this. And I love that I have exposed you for the fucking absolute mongrel that you are. Let's get to the remaining ads here. Who's more? One of them, which I'm going to need immediately after this. We got Miller Lines.

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Miller Lite. Damn, I wish we could just become just drunk messes. We have done that on Patreon. We have on Patreon, which you could find, patreon.com slash the basement yard. Sign up today. That first tier gets you these weekly episodes that you're watching right now, a week in advance.

Get in on the jokes and the content right before everybody else, a week, actually, before anybody else. So patreon.com slash the basement yard, and then you just sign up for that next tier every single Friday morning. Guess what? You get to end your week with the basement yard. Start your weekend with the basement yard.

Those episodes tend to be a little more off the rails, I would say. We've been drunk on them. Joey's been naked on them. Well, I've been in tape suits on them. That's true. So you definitely want to check it out. It's a good gift.

Listen, Valentine's Day is coming along, and what's a better way to tell someone you love them than give them the gift of the basement yard Patreon. Patreon.com slash the basement yard. Sign up today. And if we get to a certain amount of subscribers, well, guess what's going to happen? Joey.

Frank's going to stop fucking his cousin. Well, hold on. Well, see, now it makes it look like I don't want to stop. I never. That was a checkmate. That was a checkmate. You know, your rook and pawn got me, baby. That's what I do.

I play chess. Seriously, though, guys, for real, we need to talk about something. Uh-oh. We don't have that much time, but I definitely want to dive into this. Dive into it. Jesus.

I don't know that anyone really knows about this, but do you guys know that Leonardo DiCaprio, we were just talking about this before the episode began, Leonardo DiCaprio used to run around with a crew called the Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy, which good combination of words there. And for anyone who's curious, they weren't really talking about felines.

They're talking about vaginas. Yeah. So apparently him and his boys, when they were young and upcoming actors in the mid to late 90s, were like, yo, let's create a crew of our friends before group chats. So they couldn't have a group chat name. Couldn't be the group chat name yet.

Right. And they were just like, we're going to just be all about, I presume they were not being very nice to women. Why? Well, why call yourself the Pussy Pussy? If you're out there being super progressive, you're not going to be calling yourself the Pussy Pussy. You'll be calling yourself the Ruth Bader

Gin Bros. or something. But that is a fancy name. That is a nice one. But yeah, the Pussy Pussy, him, Toby McGuire, David Blaine. Listen, when I think of strapping Hollywood elite good-looking men, I don't think of Toby McGuire. I don't think of Toby McGuire. I definitely don't think of David Blaine.

I can't imagine having sex with David Blaine. What is that like? Let me tell you right now, you're going to 3, 2, 1, you're going to feel something on your clothes. He's just going to be like, no, that's Chris Angel. He's the one that floats. I'm in you. And you're like, but you're all the way over.

Oh my god. Bro, David Blaine's the one that swallows lighter fluid. And he's like, oh, but just spit it out. It's your bathtub, I hope. You know? And he's just like, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Section name has got to be awful.

Yeah, so they have some stories here. It says, the Young Stars obsession with partying in girls earned them the title in Hollywood Circles in the 90s. A story emerged that DiCaprio had Toby McGuire that he could see with six Victoria's Secret models during the Cannes Film Festival. Reportedly, DiCaprio took an efficient approach

by inviting the women to join him in three sums. Saw two three sums? Yeah. More no. Three. More no, six. Bro, he doesn't count. Oh, it's OK.

Fucking stupid. Yeah, no, he needed to have three three sums during the Cannes Film Festival. Wow. I mean, good for him. I guess. You could pull that off. But bro, this is the thing.

Leonardo DiCaprio, not a traditionally good-looking guy. Any more, any more, any more. People said I look like him. I swear to God, I've gotten Leonardo DiCaprio. Maybe in the Revenant. No, Jesus. No. Yeah, like, Titanic Leo, but he was not a good-looking guy.

He was just a cute boy. No, he was a rocket ship. He was not a rocket ship, Joey. He was a hot guy. No, no. He was a cute boy. No one saw that and went, look at this hot guy. They said, oh my god, he's adorable.

You ever seen Titanic? He's a cute little twink. Absolutely. There's other people in there that are mad weird. First of all, somebody never heard about one. E from Entourage? Yeah. Huh?

Yeah, what? And I don't even know who the hell else is in there. What was it? It was like Jay Ferguson or someone? Yeah, I don't know who that is, but. Very aggressive to like, you would think that this is something that you would do in your late teens, early 20s with your friends.

And then stop once you became like 25 and you're like, hey, this is stupid. But from my understanding, they just kept it up, but they just call themselves something different now. What is it? Now they call themselves the wolf pack. It's kind of corny. So much worse.

Yeah. Somehow, so much worse. After fucking Wolf of Wall Street, it's like, we're the wolf pack now. Well, no, apparently they call themselves the wolf pack because they were notorious for going out to bars together and getting so drunk and then howling at the moon. I swear to God, that's what I read.

So like, they would go out. Dig it, dig it, yo, 20, 20, 20, 20, 14. We're out. Yeah. Hair of the dog, that place you've been had. We would get very drunk there. OK. And then like on the way out, you're like, yo, howl.

Yeah. We're the wolf pack. I would literally throw something at you if you did that. Well, you wouldn't be there because you would have Irish Hags by this point. That's true, but it depends if I had hiccups or not. You had hiccups. You were crushing beers all night.

You weren't up to Louis XIII yet. Oh my god. There's another story here. So this website, this article I found is like 11 true stories or whatever. OK. And this one is like this woman in 98 allegedly wanted an interview with Leo.

And then she came home to a message on her answering machine. And she said, a group of young guys, they all sounded drunk. We're laughing and cutting up in the background. It was kind of strange. The speaker was telling me that if I wanted an interview with him, I'd have to make a deal along the lines of doing something for him that Monica did for Bill. Then maybe we'll talk.

That's blowjob. Yeah, that's head. That's head. Remember when people would call it head? People would call it head. I haven't heard that in a long time. Head? Yeah.

Bro, I'm out the game, I guess. What do you think people are saying? It's like, suck me off. Talk dirty to me. Talk dirty to me? Yeah. That means blowed? I don't know.

Yeah, I don't know. You're in with the sex talk with all the kids, so you would know. Yeah. DeCaprio allegedly pelted people with grapes and garbage. That one I heard. That one is bad. But grapes? Is it because of a Gilbert grape thing?

Who's throwing Gilbert grapes? Who's throwing the grapes? It's Leo. It's Gilbert. It's Lil Leo. In 1998, Leonardo DiCaprio allegedly greeted the paparazzi waiting around outside his hotel by pelting them with grapes.

In another incident, he was reportedly throwing garbage off the Brooklyn promenade onto cars before speeding away in his chauffeur-driven Mercedes. That's fire. Throwing garbage? Stupid. You would have to collect garbage in order to throw it. Well, yeah.

You ever see the video of Toby McGuire almost like running over the paparazzi? Yeah. He's in the car, he's like, get out of the way. This one, they set off stink bombs and bars? That one's cool. That one's hilarious, because we were stink bomb boys. Not in bars, but as young kids.

Yeah, we like to stick bomb it up, though, like at the park. We'd go to Guy Tree Deli, just 10 cents by about fucking 10 of those bad boys. Just light them up. Yeah. DiCaprio and McGuire made an offensive movie, then blocked it from release. I heard that.

It's called like Ben's Jugs or something like that? Ben's- Don's Plum. Oh, close enough. Ben's Jugs. Ben's Jugs, Don's Plum. Dude, what is this? They were always looking for a fight. I mean, this just sounds like every woman's nightmare,

because it's all, let me guess, white. I don't know. Men with money in a prominent position that are just acting like fucking complete goons, and people are like, yeah, this is wild, dude. What's a spend thrift? A spend thrift? I've never heard of that.

It's got to be like, you throw money at people. A person who spends money in an extravagant, irresponsible way. Profiles of the posse described Leonardo DiCaprio as a spend thrift. Ethan Supley. Oh, that's the fat guy from Remember the Titans. Who?

Ethan Supley? Remember the giant fat guy from Remember the Titans? The one that was in like Boy Meets World? Yes. He's part of the pussy posse? He's a pussy posse. Have you seen him recently? Well, it's a lot of weight.

Mad weight. Looks good. He called him cheap. One bartender from Spy, a New York City hot spot in the 90s, said that DiCaprio never tipped. Yeah, I heard about the never tipping, which, hey, man. Service industry, they work off that. They live off it.

Please tip them. Yeah, I don't know. That's crazy, though. Yeah, oh, here it is, the Wolfpack. As of 2016, they reportedly took to calling themselves the Wolfpack and began howling all night while out on the town. Bro, if you're in your 40s and you still have a name for your group of friends,

you need to think about a lot of the decisions you've made in your life. I've heard that Leo's never dated anyone over 25. Probably. I wouldn't be surprised, because as soon as they turn 25, he shoots him in the back of the head. I don't think that's how that goes. But I do think that maybe a woman over 25

wouldn't respond well to the howling. Bro, I would presume that even after, even like 24, they're like, there's something's not right here. Can you imagine going out of date with a girl and being incredible? And she was great, and she's beautiful, and funny, and the whole thing. And then you get outside, and she starts howling out the moon,

and you're like, what the fuck are you doing? It's like, nah, come on, it's cool. One of the first times that Becca and I hung out, she howled at the moon? No, she didn't. We went on a bar crawl with our friends. Oh, yeah. And nothing crazy happened.

I think she dared me to snort pepper at a bar, and I did it. Pepper, like, black pepper? Black pepper. But she stood around after that, because our friends, when we would go out, we wouldn't do anything stupid, but we got drunk, and we were idiots. Still. There was that night I dove through the giant Jenga.

She wasn't there for that. Oh my god, yeah. Were you there for that? Yeah, I was. You're like, I'm going to dive through that. I was like, Frankie, don't. I was real. There was like, I've gone through phases.

We've discussed this. There was, it was post-RD Frank. Yeah, but sometimes that guy's rear is ugly head. I'm going to dive through a Jenga set. No, this was a very, that was the only time I ever Dived through a Jenga set? Dived through a Jenga set. Oh, only one time.

You know how many times we've all done that? Well, Joey, I've never dove through a Jenga set. You know me. You know that our whole life, it's been, Frankie, do this, it'd be funny. Oh, I didn't do that. And then I do it. No, I know I came up with it in my head,

but you didn't tell me not to. And Pete is such an antagonizer. Yeah. Pete is just like, oh, it'd be great. That'd be great, that'd be great. I think that'd be awesome. That'd be superfluously stupendous. I'm like, OK.

And then I think we've told this story a bunch, but I dove through it. But did that go over well? I don't remember. I just left. Got it. I didn't stick around. You probably weren't going to stay much longer anyway.

They were throwing you out. One way or another, I was leaving. It was just either on my terms or theirs. But I walked back over and like, I think in total, I did like minimal damage. I think I like broke like only two glasses. Oh, but I just like, as soon as it happened, I got up, went to the table, was like, I have to leave.

And I just left and went to the bar next door. I remember one time leaving, actually, that same. Oh, no, maybe it was a different place. But one of our other friends, who likes to do stuff like this, dove onto a bunch of oranges. Oh, I don't know, the oranges. Yeah. I know the one where one of our friends

dove onto a table of gay Asian men. That I remember as well. Luckily, they were nice about it. They were very, very. And I was like begging them. I'm like, please just tell me to hit my friend in the face, because I will kill him. They were really kind.

That was a great night. We have our own posse. We don't howl at the moon. Probably less pussy as well. We would be the table toppers, because we don't like tables. Apparently. Or oranges, apparently. Fruit.

You've never been a shulman when you're drunk. You're more just like, evo je vapa. And you sing. I like to sing. You like to do karaoke. You sing. But you're not like a. No, I'm not like, everyone watch me jump off this thing.

Definitely. Trust me when I say you're blessed, because it's like, you always need to one up yourself. Good times. Good times. But the pussy posse. Hey, figure it out. Let's pussy in our posse.

More posse in our posse. I like that this info is out there, and no one has asked Leo about it. Yeah. Do they have a code? Do they know not to ask? Or you can't talk about Fight Club. Don't talk about the pussy posse.

Yeah, don't talk about it. You publish the pussy posse. You're getting punched. Yeah. Well, that's where we can end it right there, folks. The pussy posse is here to stay. It's only a matter of time before Joey finds his way. Dude, a name change in 2016?

This thing isn't going anywhere. Oh, no. I mean, to the wolf pack of all things, too. And they're in their late 40s. So I think Tobey Wilder's like 48, 49. They all are around that age. So I mean, it's not looking like it's going to go away anytime soon.

Joey will be there in a little bit. Hey, man, I actually joined this club. It's pretty cool. Pretty exclusive. We meet at Dumbo House. I was like, oh, OK. Oh, shit. Imagine.

I'll go howl at the moon. If it meant hanging out with the parts of what they probably do, I will not contribute to, because I'm a happily married man. But howling at the moon? I'll drink and howl at the moon. And then I'll pee in my backyard. That's Albers 8285 on Twitter and the Frank Albers

on Instagram and Twitch. Thank you guys all so much for coming and hanging out. Patreon.com slash The Baseman Yard. Go sign up today. Tell your friends about it. Tell your partner about it. Tell your siblings about it. Tell everyone that you know about it.

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See you guys next time. Yeah!