The Basement Yard - #333 - The Day Frank Became A Hero

Episode Date: February 14, 2022

Frank becomes a neighborhood hero when he saves some old woman's dog. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. Hey Frank. Hey How's it going, bud? I am doing well What is this voice? How do I look I took my hat? I was wearing the same hat took it off Oh, we can't be matching well I was just I was I was singing your praises about your hairline the other day to whom I forget But I was like Frankie's hair lines. It's very good. Thank you so much, and I don't do anything to it Yeah, what would you do? I don't get like shape-ups or anything like I don't I don't touch it This is all natural, baby. Yeah, I am I like don't care about personal grooming

Hygiene I care about like I like personal grooming in terms of like hygiene You talking about like you you don't shave your pubes. I know no stop stop there That's her personal. I don't like how 2022 was started where you just started to make up shit about me, bro First of all, no, that's that's not personal hygiene. That's that's like you had sex with your cousin No, no, I stopped that I didn't shave your pubes. What was the other thing? I'm not I don't know and I'm not gonna bring it up But that's not like shaving your pubes. It's not Hygiene as much as it's like cosmetic

Like it makes it pretty like your eyebrows your eyebrows are not like hygienic. They're it's you know to look good Yeah, you know facial hair same thing, right, you know But like, you know, I I trim the hedges if you catch my drift, you know, you're not you're not going through You know the jungle down there. Yeah, do you do you this is what I do? Oh, man Rattled the toilet like a fucking yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I do I do and then I have to like I don't shave Are you just a razor? No, I have a friend of the friend of the show man scape a buzzy buzz I absolutely have a man scape the lawnmower. Yeah, you can't be shaving that thing. No, I when I was a kid I used to have I used to steal my mom's micro touch. Sorry mom. What's that?

You don't remember micro touch. No, it was like a little like it looked like a vibrator It wasn't I wasn't shaving my face in my mom's vibrator. Hey, I don't think you could Yo, this will get you off and cut your clit right now No, it was like it looked like a pencil and at the tip It just had like a little part that was like a fucking like the head of a buzzer So what would she use this to shave? I Never stopped to think about that until this very second I'll tell you what I did shave the the the fucking shit out of your balls

Oh my god, dude. I my balls and like fupa or at the time like I was a skinny little boy pubic area looked like this scene from when fucking Robin Williams first shaves in Jumanji when he comes back from the board game Bro, I would fucking cut that shit up like it was bad So the micro touch wasn't very nice. Yeah, everyone was always like oh my I remember seeing commercials for it I'd like, you know midnight and it was like micro touch like safe to touch and then be people putting on their finger I'm like, oh my god, and I'm like, you know hold on a sec But I cut my dick up yesterday, but it also probably didn't help that I was like shaving against the grain with this thing Why would you do that? I'm not very smart. You got to go with the grain

Yeah, and I it took me a while to like master the art of like, you know ball shaving control Down there because I used to tear that son of a bitch up with razors. Let me ask you a question. How against How how against this are you using the same for your face and balls don't care Right don't care. I mean, I don't it's my balls. I don't right, but also Why don't I don't like Like gross my balls up to shave them. I like shower and And then we go. Yeah, I don't know why there's this like idea that like we drag our balls through like dog shit

Well, I mean, you know, it's it's it's a meaty position. It is a very it's very moist. There's a lot of stuff going on in there It's congested. Yeah, you know, it's a traffic jam of me. It's a subway tunnel down there You know what I mean? There's a lot going on and not a lot of room But you just wash your body. Yeah, and then wait until your body dries out But I also don't shave in the shower. I don't shave in the shower. I shave like normal. You dry Psychopath, dude. What do you mean? You dry shave? Dry shave. Yeah, what does that mean? You just take that one that looks like the head of a fucking like a shower head And you just like

Yeah, that's nuts. What are you talking about? Well, if I did that my face razor though It's just a haircut. No, no, no, no, it's the three razor like circle ones, you know, I know how you Yeah, that's crazy. That's crazy. I don't use that. I don't have one of those. I think you do I don't pretty sure you do I don't um, but yeah, I can't any time. I like shave. I need to do I need to wet I need I've waited a little bit. I need shaving cream need to be like I need to play it is a little for getting a little wet I like to you know, and I rub it in and I'm like, yeah, you stupid slut You talk to yourself, you know, I spit up Wow, you know, I'll get myself going a little bit. That'll get you wet. Yeah

But yeah, I don't care about like shaving balls and face and stuff like that, right? It doesn't it does not matter to me at one point in my life I was just I was doubling up because I was like bing bang I was like, you know doing it all because it was probably not a lot going on I would get a hair. No, no, no, this was like five years less than that four years ago. Oh, that's pretty recent Yeah, okay, and I would just be like, oh, I got a haircut now. I'm gonna like buzz my face buzz my shave I'll tell you the one thing I don't shave is It's tough you gotta like shorten it. I can't you can't like

Fucking bang bro. I rely on like nature like running its course and getting rid of the hair that's down there Let it fall out like let it fall out Let like friction light it on fire and melt it or something other nature will handle this because I Don't have the courage to go down there Courage bro, that's a that's a very sensitive weird spot Especially for me someone that used to have a fucking softball sized infection in his asshole. Yeah, uh, so like I I tend to like It's like the like the next door neighbor like you see him and you wave and it's like, you know, they're there

But you don't you don't you don't talk to him. You don't want to know you don't want to know a lot You ask him how his day is, but you don't you good good. Yeah, that's it You don't you don't want to like venture into their home. Yeah, because that's a scary place You ask him how the kids are, but you don't want to know about his job. I don't even care about their kids Fuck their kids. I'm just like, you know Yeah, you know and then and then I I don't like fucking just go in there and like shave it out or anything like that But I do try to trim so it doesn't get a little grace. I the closest I get is around This is not patreon

This is crazy. What the clothes I get is like around my my balls ball sack Yeah, and I don't even go on the skin. No, I I like scraped the surface I do too, you know, like I hover above I like put my hand across the water, you know I don't I don't like fucking like your hands. I don't land. Yeah, that's a that's a scary. That's a scary certainly Yeah, it's like this It's like touching your the hairs on when you have a goosebumps. You're like, oh, yes But you don't want to touch your skin don't want to get to the skin because then like cut your balls Bro balls are real sensitive. I remember when I was younger

I Me and this uh woman we're talking and we're like, oh, we're gonna have some relations You were gonna do ball stuff. No, we weren't gonna do ball. I mean we may have done. I think you did I actually don't know what ball stuff is. It was probably the same day you got that razor. I said that you have Yeah, well must have been because you know, but uh So we were like, oh, let's we're gonna get together and have relations. That's exactly what we said too And I was like, I gotta shave my stuff because I can't be I can't go out there looking like yeah, yeah, yeah, you know So I went in there and I was I just I was excited because I was like, yo relation shaky hand Joe

And I was just, you know, and I'm not a surgeon. I never was I wasn't in the cards for me Let's see that. Let's let's see that. Uh, look at that Bro Clipped my ballsat. Oh, yeah, this thing bleeds like a head wound. It absolutely does. Yeah, pours blood And I was like, what do I do? I you ever look at a ball like there's veins everywhere I've never really go look at your ballsack. There's veins. Go go right now. I won't I won't tell anyone camera camera camera one stay on me Um, there's veins fucking everywhere on that son of a bitch. So like are those all veins? That's veins, baby

You clip a vein. You're gonna be bleeding for a while. I must have clipped a vein because bro Yeah, I was like, I think they're oh god. I'm gonna bleed out. Yeah, I think there's like I may have told my mom. I mean, I'd also cancel with the girl. I was like first of all First of all, I was afraid of getting like, you know hiv or something. I was like, we're we're talking about blood touching stuff And I can't blood that's an open wound and you don't want two open wounds touching That's like crossing the streams and ghost busters bad things happen. All right. Yeah No, I the worst thing that ever happened to my nuts since we're talking about it is I in seventh grade

Got like Punched in the nuts. Yeah, and my nut sack was bruised It was purple like like Deep purple and then like it started to you know how like bruises get like you were bleeding in there No, no, no, my my balls are cool This skin was not how do you bruise? Bro, you could like anything you could be a bruise. I don't think skin bruises But like I think that like you break the capillaries on your skin. That's what a bruise is

I do it. I honestly right now. I have no idea what a bruise is I don't even care if I'm wrong the confidence at which I said that I'm right I'm pretty sure I guess who's not gonna look it up. We don't gotta be true. You don't care Bro, my my nut sack was purple And then what would happen is like, you know how like bruises when they're real bad they get like yellow and like mustard colored Yeah, yeah, yeah that happened and it was like that for like two weeks

It was that bro. I got punched like I Who gave you this punch? It was a it was a girl. She also cut my hand with a with a ruler a sharp ass fucking ruler Wild time, bro. This girl cut you with a ruler and punch you in the balls. What would you do her? Yeah, nothing. I mean it was like those times where it was like Oh, you like someone you like beat the shit out of them to show them that you have a crush So like I understand but not to this degree. I mean, no, no, I never this girl must have loved you Well bruise your balls. That was a very lovable boy in seventh grade rocket a chateau chocinco 4xl Bangles jersey in the super bowl. Yeah, what am I gonna say? Yeah, uh, but bro

It was it was legitimately purple and I remember being like Oh, all right. It's a bruise and thank god it was just a bruise because if not, I would have lost my balls Yeah, that would have been a rough one. I almost lost my balls What did I ever tell you this in high school? I had uh, wait what? What yeah, yeah, yeah, you almost lost both of your balls. Yeah to uh, to trauma To the world an accident. No, no, no, I I don't know where it came from But I had like I was getting like random pains in my nuts. My nuts hurt. Yeah Nuts is a funny way to do it. Yeah, and uh,

I went to a urologist and they did like Sonograms on my balls. Oh like a pregnant stomach. Yeah, exactly instead of looking for babies. They were looking for looking for something. Yeah, but they found out at the time I had um varicoseals and hydroseals which are in my balls are little pockets of water and little pockets of Veins you had watery balls and they said they were like this can lead to you being infertile And they were like and also because of them you need to constantly check your balls Because if the fucking like

Like the main cord like there's like one rowed in one rowed out of the nuts Got it If that like cord gets like jammed up like a traffic jam Your your nut will die. Right like a plant, you know what I mean? So you had to you had to keep rubbing your balls So I had to like check to make sure my balls were cool all the time and I actually I asked and they were like I was like, what can this come from? They're like, oh it could come from tight pants More lost skinny jeans at that point in my time

That could be it and I remember Around that time that that song Run this town with Jay-Z Rihanna and Kanye came out. Yeah, so of course I was telling everyone I can't wear skinny jeans because my knots don't fit It was really I can't wear skinny jeans because my balls might fall off That's why that was it wear skinny jeans because my knots are in Fucking not my balls are in a knot is not it's good of a line Damn, I never knew that about you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's lost your balls. Yeah water. Yeah

So what happened to water dried up? I guess because I you have a child. I had a baby. Yeah And when I went to my doctor's appointment a couple weeks ago The urologist to ask about the vasectomy they did this he he did this to my nuts Like he was rolling a blunt with my with my nut. No, I asked him to stop. I told you this Wait, I don't remember you saying. Yeah. Yeah. I said sir. This is very uncomfortable. Please stop Just like that. Really? Yeah, it fucking hurt. Yeah, you could say that to a doctor Yeah, it's your body I guess you're right

Bro, if my if my doctor's down there like like fuddling around with my stuff No, my guy was like this. He was like this uh old african man with You guessed it freezing cold hands I'm like you put these things in a goddamn fridge before I get in here and he he was like just kind of Oh, and I was just letting him have it because I was like He's he I'd rather him be thorough. Yeah, let him go my my childhood pediatrician was an old like just miserable greek man named doctor marquisos That doesn't sound that sounds it's very gweak gweak. It's very gweak, but gweak

But it it sounds like Something that you get to go to the doctor for like oh, what are you guys? I got marquisos, man Oh, it actually sounds like a fast food restaurant like quiz nose. There you go Uh, but he like was like super rough. He'd come in and it'd be like my physical He'd be he'd like shove his fingers all the way up my balls like cough. You're good Damn, but like very old and really made it physical. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but just for last name right right out there for people Boom. Yeah, go find the doctor. Go find this dog. He might anyone wants to get your balls fingered hard This guy will fuck you up dr. Quiznos. Whatever the fuck his name is

Marquisio. Yeah, this guy will fuck you up. Um, anyway, I wanted to uh, you know, you're a hero apparently I am you posted that you're you saved a dog. I didn't post about it. I told you about it I'm not ready to share it with the world yet, but now I will I outed you I I rescued a dog From the top please from the top be grudgingly. Okay, so you know me joey, you don't pay me enough So I have to keep a full-time job right and I I drove to a part of jersey And bro, I can't tell you there's like certain cases that I work where I just meet with like people on disability

Because like I just need to check in on them basically like, yo, you good. All right, cool Getting your money on time. Good. Still still not moving around too good. Yeah, basically. Yeah Um, this one guy had a one foot. It's kind of fucked up, but I I go into a lot of uh I feel bad Yeah, uh, I go into a lot of like over 55 communities What the fuck's that mean? You never heard they're like they have towns filled with 55 and ups. You've never heard of this joey. Never

Are you kidding me? I've heard of like retirement homes. No, no, no, it's like a retirement city They like some of them are called like one in toms River is called like holiday city, bro. Never. Yeah So it's just a city full of you can only yeah, you can only buy a house there if you're over 55 And their houses for the most part Something well, that's not true. Some of them like don't have they're like, oh We don't allow our houses to have stairs. It's all one level because like they don't want old people falling down the stairs And it's fucking being decrepit and pieces of shit. You know, yeah, so I go to a lot of these communities

And uh, I go to this one to me with this guy and I I park my car and I get out and there's an old woman Gotta be in her early 70s early to mid 70s And she's screaming down the down the community like down the street. Johnny John I'm not john. I know I see this fucking dog Sprinting down the street He's like I've had enough of this old bitch clearly So joe you see a dog sprinting down the street. You're gonna help you got you got a dog

What would you do if charlie ran away? I'd be in this fucking. I'll be hitting the pavement hard. Yeah So i'm like, all right, so I thought it was one of those situations, you know, you crouch down dog comes up to you friendly dog Oh, man grab it All good. What kind of dog was it? It was like a little fucking teacup piece of shit. No, no, no It was like I don't know the type of dog, but it was clearly like It was like rogue basically, but just a little fatter. That's a big. That's not a small dog big dog

I'll tell you this very fast Okay As most dogs are as most dogs are so i'm sitting there and I get down And i'm waiting and i'm like, oh come here johnny and johnny comes up to me and just fucking no And squirms out of you bro sprints again So I stopped thinking that like this woman has it under control like she gets back on a car Driving toward me. I'm thinking like oh, she's got this under control. She'll call the dog the dog will come back She gets out of the car. She's like, i'm so sorry

Brought him to the get groomed and he's mad at me Does that happen? I mean Not really. Okay. It did here. Well, that's I mean my dog gets mad at me, but he doesn't hold grudges Oh, he held the grudge johnny held the grudge Johnny was like i'm out of here you old bitch and she's I was like, yeah, no problem I'll get him and he was coming up to like a cul-de-sac You know trapped an old person cul-de-sac old person cul-de-sac

He found a way through perfect bro. This dog ran. I swear to god. I chased this dog for 40 minutes What bro? I chased this dog for 40 minutes and it never worked it into the woods You're running through the woods and my whole time. I'm thinking like When do I give up? Yeah, when is it not my problem? When do I like say like I give up, you know, like when do I go back to and say like got away? Yeah, I gotta get I gotta get home But bro, he went like down like fucking steep ass hills. Are you sprinting the whole time? I am sprinting after this thing I felt I almost fell down a hill Chasing this thing. He's walking on a frozen fucking pond

And the whole time I'm chasing this thing. I'm exhausted. I have my gear with me Yeah, like my backpack my fucking computer and I'm chasing. I was like, johnny. She gave me a bag of treats I'm like, johnny, johnny. I want this dog so dead at this point, bro You had a bag of treats? Bag of treats, johnny, johnny and remember There's still about this much snow So I'm trekking through this fucking snow and I'm at a point. I'm just like, yo, this dog isn't coming toward me I started throwing the treats at it At it at it. Yeah, but they sink into the snow. Johnny can't see him. Can't smell him

Bro, I was sprinting for 40 minutes and I'm like, yo, like What do I do here? Like do I like do I give up? Do I give up and go back? And then I was like, yo, I can't and then Johnny starts making his way toward like a fucking highway So my like playful my playful johnny turned into very johnny johnny Yeah, johnny. I'm sitting there screaming chasing this dog. I've never met before. Yeah, johnny. No And there's people like what the fuck bro, so I get to this fucking highway and it comes to like an intersection It comes to an intersection and people are pulling up and this dog is just running in the street in the street, bro and I'm like

Running i'm running through the intersection like putting my hands out and you know me directing traffic, you know me I'm very matter of fact So like people are stopping their car and they're like good to help and they're like is that your dog and I'm like No, they don't even care to hear the explanation. They just fucking keep going And then I had to stop like traffic in like four ways Three people got out of their car and we finally wrangled this dog Then I was lost You didn't know where you were. No fucking clue

You had ran so far. I had ran so fucking far over the river and through the woods to fucking save johnny's old ass I couldn't believe it. You could have fired right back. Bro. I could. No breadcrumbs. I could not I like tried at one point to like follow my footsteps No, it's not possible So i'm like, yo, bro, like I I feel good because I did a good deed But at what cost? Yeah, you know like good deeds are cool But like if they mean like my own sanity 40 minutes from where I was 40 minutes, bro

I was sprinting and I yo, I have bad stamina. I had covid. I got fucked up like You know like shoveling like a couple days ago. I was wheezing Stamina came back came right back came right back These these sketcher boots kept me kept me up. Can you imagine you died chasing a dog? That wasn't like where was friend you died in the middle of the woods chasing job, bro I was chasing this fucking dog So then the idiot that I am I didn't realize check the collar So i'm walking around like trying to find my way back and then I found my way and then I was like, oh wait the collar

wait Was did you have a leash? She when she gave me the bag of treats. She gave me a leash. Okay, and I love though. She just dumped this on you Bro, I mean and she was an old woman, right? She was an old woman. There was no way she was gonna fucking Yeah, I thought it was this dog was gone if I wasn't there Yeah, you know and uh, I found I found her and I found her husband. I gave the dog back She tried to give me money, you know didn't how much I didn't even bother, but I would have counted it I'll tell you this though

Not enough for me to accept it Because this fucking you know old women. They're very sweet, but they don't like they you know inflation It's been here since you gave anyone money. Oh a tip back in their day was like a fucking, you know, like flick a nickel at them Yeah, she started she was like, let me give you some money and I'm like And then she pulled out like one of those like little like red change purses. I was like, no keep Keep your fucking money But uh, she was like, what what do I I was like? I didn't say this, but I wanted to so bad She was like, please let me give you some money or something. I was like, no, no use it

You know buy treats for johnny or something and she's like, what's your name? And I I told her my name, but then I walked away and I was like, damn That should have been the moment where I was just like bond I in my head. I was like, I'm just a friendly neighbor But I didn't But I did it, you know, thank god you didn't but I fucking did it. I'm just a guy I'm just a guy standing in front of a girl who lost his dog recently you know

I'm just a dog lover I'm at the top of just a friend, you know a friendly neighborhood dog lover and that was that but I didn't say that I should have in hindsight, but I but I did not But I was legitimately running after this dog like yo like I have to leave this dog, but then I realized like yo if I do I'm it's dead. It is an interesting position to be in because it's like How long do I run after this thing because that happened to me once when I was leaving Connecticut. Were you with me? I was leaving Connecticut and we got to

um You know when you like leave and then you're driving for a while and you have to make like a that right You remember like the causeway, you know the the the the right that nicks like oh, it's uh pac-man And there's a house. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. So we were on that street. Yeah And we gelati road. I believe it. We just see a fucking dog like a little dog running and we're like, oh, shit So we pull over it's like me espo keith Uh, brine might have been with us. So we just hop out the car We start chasing this fucking dog leaves the car on the side of the road. Dude. I ended up in someone's backyard

I'm running through the woods. Bro. That's the other point. I had no visual of the dog Bro, that's the other thing is I'm when I was going through these communities not a lot happens in these places So as I was walking through I'm chasing this fucking dog. You all right. You heard me stretching as I'm chasing this dog through I wouldn't I wouldn't I wouldn't chase you He wouldn't run away. Is that yeah, he's a good. He's a good dog Um, as I'm fucking chasing this dog. I'm going in like people's backyards and shit like that. So like Who is this bro? I'm not Spanish man with

With so much equipment with so much equipment running through my backyard screaming Johnny at the top of his lungs And like Johnny all people are pretty excitable, you know, so like you you know something wrong You know something goes wrong in their day. They're gonna get very upset some of them are armed So I and they were fucking someone must have called someone or it was just super coincidence When I was walking back into the community There was a cop that drove by and I tried to flag him down. Didn't see me But nothing worked out for nothing worked out for me. You got no help bro. I I did a good deed you did and I think now I'm savior frank

Oh, I thought you said save your frank. No, I am savior frank. Yeah, you know and uh Anyone needs help finding, you know helping their dogs to get found. He's a dog bounty hunter. I I am the dog bounty hunter the bounty hunter exactly, but dude. I was so And then I have to go meet with this guy with one foot And he's like He's like, no, I was just running after this dog and we're running for 40 minutes It's this old russian guy or or you know, montenegro or somewhere And and he's like, why are you sweating and panting and I had to explain it

He was like looking at me like what the fuck is going on. It's so funny. It was not it was really not funny, but It did good Good for you frank. You did good in the world. Good guy. I believe I am. Yeah, I tend to be pretty good I guess Before we move forward, let's get to these uh first sponsors that we have for today the first one first the first one The first one being stitch fix stitch fix is uh, you know, it can help you elevate your your look You schedule a fix and a style expert will send you five pieces that fit your style your size and your price range You go on their site and you fill out this form. You let them know your style. You kind of figure it out

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When I saw the headline and I saw the story it It made me laugh and then made me upset. It made you cry a little bit. Yeah, uh, what happened, baby. There was a There was a massive brawl At a golden corral. I saw this. You ever been here a golden corral? Uh, I respect myself too much Have you ever been to like one of those like big time? Uh, like buffets buffet places King china buffet. Oh, you remember that place bro. Yeah, I do and it was bad

Oh, you know real real gross. Yeah real gross. They had a koi pond though They did a koi pond and we used to run in there throw shit and in all the time I know and probably bad for the koi. Hey Big time bad for the koi. We found a koi found there was a place that was at the shopping center We used to go to when we were younger. It was called king china buffet Yes, and then you would open the doors and there's a koi pond right there And we would make wishes and throw dimes in there That's campy good for fucking no, you can't you can't be given the fish the dimes, you know

That was the place that like everyone want. I remember I think for like my fifth our fifth grade graduation I went there afterward because like yo like for as in theory great place It's like 20 bucks and eat everything bro. Everything that you could think it's huge. It was it was really really big But bro, I've I've you ever been to a sizzler Have I I don't know what was the other one? There's a there's another like popular one Um buffet buffet style places. I don't know bro, but bro. Yeah, bro I've been to a golden corral and I've been to a golden corral in fucking Jacksonville or Daytona, Florida

And let me tell you this place is fucking lawless What fucking golden corral. They don't give a fuck. I don't even know what to expect bro Isn't it seafood or my bug? I mean it could be everything bro. You'll walk in and they'll be like, yo you want fucking Sirloin steak here you go. Oh, where you're looking for the lobster rolls They're right next to the fucking spare ribs and tater tots There's no rules. Bro. There's no rules at these places. There's no like moods. No, it's like, oh, here's the meats Here's the salad. I think I think it's probably more organized. I haven't gone in maybe like eight nine years but

When I remember going it was like, yo You pay to get in and then when you're in there It's like a fucking like mcdonald's play place like yo people just running everywhere. There's piss. There's yeah 100% piss The carpet's gross these places don't even look big though, bro. They're huge Golden crown bro. They're massive and you know you think about it. It's genius You pay like 20 bucks and you can go in and eat as much food as you could possibly fucking imagine And it's all shit, right? It's all like I actually remember the golden crown not being too bad But I think I got like mostly like fried food

I got like they're like mac and cheese balls and like mozzarella sticks and they're gel every time you go to a Buffet you need to get jello. I just can't like I don't know the idea of a buffet. I just don't trust people. That's my thing. That's true to someone to be like Oh, this is good. Oh, and put it there. I'm like, what are we doing here? You find golden corrals and like fucking buffets in places where people just don't give a shit about themselves florida long island Seriously, new jersey problems, there's definitely one in new jersey. I've passed the people just don't give a shit So they're like, yo like come in and stick all of your hands in the same pot

Yeah, and get the chicken like you don't think anyone's grabbing fries Out of the things out using the tongs not even that but like everyone is using the same tongs Yeah, that's fine. No, that's pretty fucking nuts when you have 180 people on the same day fucking grabbing the same tongs Yeah, that's true, but yeah, these places are ruthless Oh, so what happened? Why was there a 40 person brawl? I was reading the article and It says a former employee of the restaurant says he was told the fight may have happened after a customer became enraged when the Enraged

I'm sorry So there was a brawl at golden corral Uh an employee of the restaurant was told that the fight may have happened after a customer became enraged when the buffet ran out of steak Listen, man, I love my red meat I might get enraged too and then someone was interviewed and said from what I heard it was over steak apparently someone cut in line And then someone else said there was a shortage of steak and two parties two parties, dude

Not party two psychos two psychos were uh involved in one family cut in front of another family two as a gang fight That's again, you know, that's a brawl if someone cuts in front of if someone like looks at my mom wrong She gets very mouthy if someone cuts in front of her takes a last steak. It's a wrap Boy, they were taking their time and they ran out of steak and it got into a heated exchange at the tables in the video's manner In the video a man has heard saying all I wanted was some steak Bro these golden corral don't oh, this is good, too Uh, this is uh someone from the fucking company said this Thankfully, no serious injuries have been reported the safety of our guests and co-workers is our top priority

Keeping them safe by serving them poison. Yeah, I don't know about that those steaks We're not even checking where those steaks are coming from but listen, man from someone that has been to golden corral first hand It there's certain things you don't fuck with with these people Steak is one of them. All right. Don't take their steak. Don't take their soda pop They find out there's no more fucking barks root beer. You're dead, dude everyone should go look up the video though at golden corral because People are throwing tables and chairs at each other just launching chairs. I want to get into a fight like that so bad I think I would table throwing fight bro. If I could pick up a table and throw it that's crazy

But like those fights always look so fun, you know No, yeah, they kind of do Uh, you ever get hit with a table? No, I've been hit with a chair But I'm saying like it's got to be like cool to be in like a fight of that many people Like you just don't know what's going on just people are swinging you're swinging I'd rather not I think I always think of those like old timey cartoons Where like wildly coyote and the roadrunner are in a fight and it's like a ball of smoke Then you just see like an arm popping out, you know in a foot every now and then

Yeah, what food would make you start like just throwing bones if you if someone took the last one from you bro I'm way too passive to let something like that bother me. Also like people cutting in line I Get really uncomfortable if I'm with someone who has a gigantic problem with that I like I get it like I wouldn't let like a bunch of people skip me in a line Like I'm not that passive, but like am I gonna like lose my Mind over someone skipping a line at a fucking buffet bro at a golden corral where people are just like They're there to fight and eat afterward like that's those are the rules of golden corral

I I'm with you on that if it's one person cutting Whatever I can hand and even if like I don't care if they're all the way at the front Or if they're like the person in front of me. I really don't care much. I would say like Three person max once it starts becoming like a thing like oh, we'll just keep skipping I'll be like no no no, you know, but like one person jumping in with like their for instance. I've been on a line, right? where Whatever we've been waiting on the line for a little bit and someone shows up And just like gets in line with their friends. I have no problem with that

You know Like why split up the group and be like oh, we're gonna go all the way to the back of line So I get that like one person comes in if it was like 10 people different story But like one or two people being like this is where our friends are we're gonna hop in this line and then people immediately be like, um We've been waiting. Yeah, like that person. I'm like, oh It makes me crazy that person gets me very uncomfortable because It means so like I want to tell them like you can go in front of me if it means that much

But I think it's more of like it's one of those weird like pedestals that americans put themselves up on like There are certain rules that like if you break them it like ruins the sanctity of our country It's like cutting in line and fucking like sneezing during the pledge of allegiance like if you do any of those things Bro, people will fucking lose their mind But I I never understood the big hoopla behind line cutting the part it gets me is when You get like a line forming behind that line cutter and then it becomes like two lines And then people need to like mesh together that I would I would not stand for and like like I said One two people whatever bro, and unless they're being a scumbag

And like just like yay Then I'd be pissed But if it's just like one person who just makes a good move You know like when I'm driving on the highway and I'm getting off an exit and a guy drives over like the fucking shoulder And gets on there. I'm like just a good move they learn hard You have to you have to respect it's like chess someone makes a good move You're just like pretty good. That's good. Yeah. Good for what you got there. Also. I'm not gonna lie The exit

to When I'm like going to the office in brooklyn. Oh, we transitioned right into road talk. Yeah, okay The exit right when I'm getting I mean it's it applies The exit um when I'm getting off that that I have to get off up to get to the office in brooklyn For there's a there's a light like immediately after the exit So it just backs all the way up on the highway I I have never waited in line. Oh, yeah, you go right you you get in the lane to the left I am every single time driving over the the

The striped lines. Yeah, listen. I'm just like I'm not gonna wait here It's different in a car because you're in basically a pseudo armor Yeah, because like I put my head down. I go. I know people honk the horn but keep their head straight They'll just be like this son of a bitch. What the You know, they don't they don't move, but it's also going back to golden corral It's hard to take someone serious when they're leaning out of a line and screaming like that. Yeah, you know, it's just like Hey No, we've been waiting and it's like lady. They're just jumping in with their friends like but again

This is a volatile mix. You have people that are at golden corral already not thinking straight You know, they're already out of their fucking mind. Yeah, they're waiting on line for steak At golden corral strike two You know, and where was this? I think I read that it was like near Philly Strike fucking 4800. Yeah, that'd be a lot because that just doesn't seem like a good mixture of things to go on I don't know that I I don't know the last time I've even seen a golden corral with my eyes Uh, you probably weren't looking like you've you've passed one and like you you have blinders to it You know what I mean? It's like that episode of black mirror where like they like block you and like the person is like

Yeah, exactly. You don't realize it's there. I've seen I saw one recently and I was like, god damn golden corral You know what I saw recently a white castle You heard that the one over here on queen's boulevard. They're taken down It's been there since like 1930 or something like that. Which one the one right next to the mall to the queen's Oh, that's a big one. Yeah, it's getting taken down. Oh, no, I hope they all burn to the ground. Fuck you white castle sucks Bro, what fuck off dude white castle does not suck. First of all the first fast food people don't even realize that Oh, wow, that means nothing. They suck bro white castle is so so they're the ones we should blame for all the fast food Definitely, absolutely white castle is so good

Dude, come on. It's so good. I haven't had it in a long time bro and the last time I did have it I'm pretty sure it was like those frozen packs at the nursing home. I was just gonna say if anyone out there Is wondering if they're a piece of shit Just go to your freezer Open it and if you have Frozen white castle that you bought from the supermarket You piece of shit. Listen, I'm not I'm not gonna sit here the last time I had the frozen ones

It was at like a hospital or or like an old person nursing home What are they like trying to get them dead as soon as possible bro those places people think hospitals are there to save you They're there to just make you die quicker. Yeah It's like we're trying to like yeah, it's moving along. Oh, you're you're here to hang out with your loved one Have a fucking frozen white castle and yogurt. It's been in this fridge for eight weeks You know, here's a sharp spoon and some applesauce That's green eat it fast. Yeah, basically Uh, and then it comes on this fucking

Hot tray under a lid that when you lift up it's been sweating in there for so much. There's just a puddle of water I'm gonna throw up So for a white castle last time I had white castle. It was good but It's also one of those things that like you can't just go and get white castle at 3 p.m White castle is best when you're drunk and when it's past like midnight If you haven't anywhere outside of either of those parameters, you're setting yourself up for failure, joe I honestly think it's psychotic that a place like that could even be open

Like there was one that used to be on 21st street by lyc. I remember where the bellier diner was Yeah, it's that one Uh, that's the last time I went to one. Yeah, me too. That was the last one I went to I walked in with like two dollars Walked out like with a lot of food in me and I remember feeling like that shouldn't be That shouldn't be I went to see at the night that I went to the midnight premiere of Transformers revenge of the fallen And I went you remember everything. I remember weird shit. I went with mani and laurence and we got a crave box Oh 30 burgers bro. It's like yo you have 10 10 bucks. We'll give you 30 burgers. They don't give a fuck

Yeah, you know just and we're gonna for jokes put them in a suitcase. Yeah, so you're like a Business man. Yeah, why is this? Uh, no, it is Miraculously cheap and it makes you wonder what they're doing to get their burgers that cheap But I remember them being good man. I can't talk shit and they're chicken rings Which was weird because chickens don't have rings. Uh, yeah, they don't come in rings To be fair I knew to do onions. I just discovered that's true. They do come in onions onions do come in rings definitely come in rings Yeah, I just had that realization right now like wait a second

Chickens don't come in rings. Yeah, no, uh, I remember them being pretty good. They're better than sonic I've never seen a sonic. I've never had it Is that the one where they have like rollerblades up to your door? Yeah, they're like, oh, it's the 50s racism and fucking like Beating wines. Yeah Here's your hot dog. Here's your hot dog. Remember the good all day. Yeah when we can hit women Bro, that's basically Rollerblades. I had uh, I went to sonic once and I swear to god To this day I get sick thinking about it

I'm not fucking around you can see the tears in my eyes. I can't I I got a hot dog Much mistake number one. Yeah, never gonna fast food hot dog. No Bro, it it came Like I'm fucking getting so like I'm getting nauseous thinking about it It they like clearly took it out of the water so quick and put it in the bread The bread was wet wet there was no bread it was soaked. It was just mud bread mud

Bro, it was fucking Are you crying? Sonic is making me cry. Sonic gave you I love hot dogs so much. So sonic gave you a wet Wet money hot dog. They gave me a muddy water dog, which normally are delicious But they put it in a box On a bun and with too much moisture. So the bun disintegrated and became mud around it And you tell me it was delivered by a man on rollerblades on fucking roller skates came out. They were like, here you go Like fucking like

And it was so fucking gross dude It was so I'll never forget that my entire life how fucking gross that was and to this day I'll never go back to a sonic ever again. I mean, I don't even know where to I don't even know where the closest one is It's probably like 20 miles. I'll like a guarantee. I'll tell you exactly where it probably is fucking long island Really that lawless place, but I've been to long island. Yeah, you've been through long island I'm gonna type it in sonic I keep typing sonic. What? Where is it? There's wait, what is this? Bro, there's one in queens. Let's go. It's in sunny side. What the fuck?

That's a bad place to have anything, but there's there's one And then there's a bunch in jersey. Well, yeah, that's and there is one on long island. Where is this? Valley stream. Yeah that I haven't been to. Yeah Sorry I'm sure I know nothing about valley stream except lacrosse And everyone calls each other by their first and last name Remember that when we would make fun of people we knew from long island because every person they knew it was first name last name Or just last name. No, it was always first name last name. It was not like, oh my god, joe

Oh, like mike trend. Yeah, exactly He'd be like so mike trend went out with stefanie partillo and like they all met like at the park And it's like bro, I just call them like mike and stefanie They're your friends or like or do what we did have multiple people with the same name Call none of them by their name and just call them all nicknames. Exactly. Oh, man. Let's try it. Let's do a video try and sonic Why would I sign up for that just to you didn't really sell it. You know what? I know what I'm gonna do Aunt aunt. I know you're watching picky boy Get a bunch of fast food and have joey try it

He try fast sonic sonic white castle or bees Oh, I for real like y'all I Jokes aside, we'll never have or you're gonna fast food roast beef if there's a cut if there's a camera in front of you joey, there's not a lot you won't do I don't know bro. Bro. I think you'll eat I'd be scared any Fucking restaurant that needs to convince you that they have meat on their menu. Yeah, that's a problem We have the meat. We're like we knew that

Fucking awesome. Was that up for debate? You know Real meats. I think I think that's something that I'm gonna put together. I don't know that would be good Just collect a bunch of I'm not even like a crazy health nut or anything. Yes. You are. Fuck you. Don't try this No, I'm just I'm very against fast food I know but like but I did have you know what I did do and this is very unlike me I I uh fucked a man You're already here first cut that clip end it right here joey say yes

No, damn it. Um, but I I went to mcdonald's and I had a large fry and a shake I mean, that's like you're scraping the bottom of the barrel there. It's barely anything guess who paid for that Just the fries in the shake. No, no, I meant your I meant I was gonna say your plumber. I meant paid for it I know what you're saying my body paid for the plumbering did yeah, exactly. I I paid the money I am on the price as well. I am on a strict no like last year. I did it and I'm doing it again this year I'm going as long as I can without having fast food and it's really not hard No, but last year I went five months From the beginning of the year. What what breaks the fast food. It's not like I'm not doing it for any reason outside of just like convenience

It's fucking disgusting and and it was doubly tough because we had ruby being so young last year doubly me returning to work Yeah, like sometimes it's just like Beck is too exhausted to fucking cook or like I get home too late And it's just and it's just like the fucking easiest thing to do. You know, what's the closest one to you? Honestly There's a fucking cattle clade near me. There is a mcdonald's near me a burger king a checkers Wow a kfc a pop-eye a taco bell. I'll tell you what would really this is what I this is I don't know how this makes any sense. I am violently against fast food

but Popeyes, no, well Popeyes Keith forces me to do Popeyes. Popeyes is so good at least Twice a year. I'll have Popeyes with Keith. That's very cute and Talk about I haven't had Taco Bell in maybe eight years Fuck me. I love talking haven't had Taco Bell in eight years haven't had like actual like a chicken sandwich or something from mcdonald's or a burger in Seven years, I'll tell you. Have you ever tasted one? Of course, I've had they taste exactly the same. Yeah, no difference. I'm assuming maybe just fatter But bro, and I haven't had this also maybe like five six years

But just because I haven't been around one but five guys, bro Dude, I don't this is the thing and I'll stand by this Chipotle Five guys Shake Shack. I don't consider traditional fast food. I've had shake shack recently But I only had fries because I wasn't hungry. Um, I don't consider those traditional fast food I like the the the classics the mcdonald's the Taco Bell the burger king's like that's fast food chipotle's like bro like They like sustainably source all their fucking food and it's like grass-fed beef and like that's not I know like the classic

Terminology eat fresh right? No, no, no subways dog shit and their fucking Best friend Jared. He was like, you know all in the kids and show like that. He was diddling diddling daddling Yeah, uh, but I don't consider like five guys or chipotle fast food and I'll tell you right now a five guys burger Shoved it in me and leave it there because it is so fucking good, dude. Oh my god. I love five guys All right, hold on. We're gonna jump right into five guys. That's where we're going with the as with Ah God, uh guys listen Shopify that's the next sponsor on the show shop fight gives entrepreneurs the resources once

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Void where prohibited eligibility restrictions apply visit current.com slash yard for full terms and conditions. Okay There you go. Very nice. Very nice. I can't be one of the winners. I've already asked Yeah, I can't I can't yeah, but uh, yeah, definitely go check them out. They're good. They got it, but back to the Wet burger that we're talking about here five guys. I haven't had it in so long And what's your order five guys run it run me through it, baby. It's not like a crazy order. I just got a double cheeseburger with or without bacon Thank you

and What are the accoutrements? The what accoutrements? Accoutrements joey what what like the things that go on it What do you put on it? Me personally. Yeah raw onion lettuce tomato pickles I'm gonna catch up. I'm just an easy guy. You're an easy boy I just get a fucking cheese and I put ketchup on that and you and then I love that they just

That clip that we did about the basement. I mean five guys that went viral because it's true They just everyone knows bro. Those they're not pretty like mcdonald's burger king these places They make burgers try and they're like pretty and it's like ooh the the burgers are so like Like the bun is so round. It's like a like a brown breast Yeah, it's look like the the five guys look like they just like put it in a bag and like Yeah, like got all the juices out of it slammed it on the table and gave it to you on a plate literally a five guys burger looks like you Gave them a burger and right before they served it. They took out a sledgehammer and went

And then they gave it to you because it's all smushed and just like grease is coming out of it. You eat it You're like yeah, you shove it in your dumb face and they give it to you in a bag that is filled to the top with french fries Yeah, there's a loose. He's all over that. Fuck you. They don't they don't give a fuck dude. It is so good But yeah, I don't had in so I don't consider five guys your chipotle like fast food. Um, same thing with like Same thing with like What about panera? Where are you at with panera? Yeah, I don't like panera. I I don't let me tell you something I love panera. Really? I think it's dark shit. What? It's not that I'm like morally against it like I am the others

Oh, you have a you have a strict moral sense in this on the other ones. Yeah, okay. All right I think those are literally killing people. Um, well, they are and yeah, panera probably doing the same too props But panera I had once because it was near my my old job And I was like this sucks It's like I got like a dry salad Or something. Oh that I mean that you you fucked up on the order there. I mean, what was it supposed to get? A fucking bread bowl. Yes. You ever gotten one Yo, bread bowl whoever invented the bread bowl genius need that guy needs to be soft

I worked when I worked at target r.i.p. Um, I Worked in like the same like shopping center of a panera and a game stop It was a good time to be frank alvarez boy And I like at least once a week we would get lunch and I would get like either like their Tomato soup in a bread bowl their cheddar chicken brock their cheddar soup their cheddar broccoli soup in a bread bowl Or I would get you know what they have really good. I don't know if you're a fan of this their chicken salad Ooth what is chicken salad? It's chicken shredded like me

With mayonnaise and like salt pepper and like paprika or shit like that But they put I I normally don't like mixing like fruit into like my like food But they put grapes in theirs and it was fucking good, man It was really good Yeah, it was really really good. No, I don't know. Yeah, I don't I don't consider panera fast food It's more like they try to be like a cafe. What's the bread? What's the like the spinach dip that's in a bread? My mom's making that tomorrow dog or this weekend. Wait, she's coming over my mom. Yeah She's coming to ruby's birthday party, which you'll be at bitch. Oh, that's right. Oh my god

I'm gonna fucking slam this stupid fucking and what she does what she does is she I hope she puts it in the bread because what she does is the top of the sourdough bread She cuts out and you can use that to dip and it's pee pee It is so So good tell me off guard. It is so fucking delicious and it is pee pee. It is so good Yeah, I'm a I'm a big sauce and dip boy. I'm I like shark hoot. You're a shark hootie. Oh a shark hootie Can you get shark? What don't beckon. I was just gonna say did you just ask me to get you food for my daughter's birthday party?

Yeah, you're hosting it. I know. I'll say you just want me to get a charcuterie board Yeah, I can't put together. You want me to do that? Yeah, what do you think is gonna be it would be terrible Bro, you fuck you. I know you and when you want to do things, you're really good at them Yeah, but you can't you can't transport me. Yes, you absolutely can fucking transport means you have coolers and shit like that What do you mean? There's great delis around here. You think I'm gonna I'm gonna pack up a cooler to bring shark hootie there No, but that's the point is that if you wanted to you would and I know that you could do that Because I know you've had like cute little like oh me and the boys Having wine dates and like if it was fucking geo

And marco you'd be like, yo, I just bought this parma ham. I don't know It's like it's like 400 bucks a pound or whatever No idiots and the reason why I do the shark huge Is because if I'm here, which I made a shark hootie for you, you bitch When did you make a shark hootie for me when you came Thanksgiving? That's right. You did and it was good Because you put effort into it if you wanted to fucking put effort into bringing me one because no Frankie This is uh, no, there's no because if you have the willingness to put the fucking effort into it

I've traveled with meat before it's about back to what meat did you travel with I travel with meat all the time joey All the time I've I've brought charcuterie meats across state lines. Absolutely I don't know. Yeah, you just got to fucking cool as long as it's not out for more than four hours Which most of the time it is. Let's be honest. It is. It's good. It's all good I don't know. I feel some type of type away. I've made some baller ass fruit boards I don't even travel with it. I don't even travel with a toothbrush I have to I have to throw out my toothbrush. Let's unpack that every time you travel you throw out your toothbrush I buy a toothbrush and I leave it there. I never bring my gift

No, I just I don't I refuse to travel with my toothbrush. That's stupid. I think that it's weird to travel with it Okay, well, at least you know, it's stupid too. Yeah, I don't I don't think that everyone does it, but I just don't travel No, I'll tell you this no one does that Because you know, I feel weird You know like the things like the cases you could buy. Oh, yeah, they get gross I used one of those ones But then I couldn't get it out of my head that like usually when you're leaving it's like you leave in the morning So I brush my teeth and the thing is still wet and then I cover it and then I have to get on a flight

And then I land and it's like sweat. This thing has been wet in here for too long. So I don't do that So I just leave it there. I I understand if like you're like But like if you're going away for the weekend like you're getting in your car and you're driving like oh, I know why I know why because it takes you like a week and a half to unpack anytime you come back from a trip No, and it used to but I don't anymore. Oh, okay Because I because we're talking about on the podcast. No, I don't ladies and gentlemen We didn't even know we were gonna keep it frank today, but boy. Oh boy. We're we're getting them good We are not getting them good. We're getting you really good. Actually. I think so

I think we're getting you really good cracking me up today, honestly Just today I was gonna say why are you saying that like I'm just like just like soulless lifeless piece of shit every other day No, I was just saying you're on fire. Good. All right, cool. I'm uh Securing my place here. So what should I bring this weekend? Um, just come happy I'd be happier if it was a charcuterie I mean you want to bring some meats bring some meats. You want to know what I don't want to bring I'm gonna let you know something serious right now. Yeah, I we had no plans on having a charcuterie board

We were just gonna have little snacks and just get pizza later. You guys are like great at hosting. I won't say that Thank you so much. You guys are great at hosting. I want to let you know now. I feel like I need to get a charcuterie board No, if there's I don't need a charcuterie. I know you don't but now I do because in my head I have this like weird thing in my brain where it's like I need to Now I need to do it because if I don't you're gonna be like, yeah, you didn't it's okay. It's cool You didn't do it and it's fine. That's not true. I don't need it. But like you didn't do it I would never say that. I know in my head the version of you does I'm so terrible person. You are you are a bad guy. That makes a lot of sense. You are a bad guy

What does that mean? You have a whole segment on the show dedicated to me being an asshole. You ain't wrong, baby Showing the world one day at a time. What are you guys making? Oh my god, is there gonna be pigs? Um, there might be pigs in a blanket. There might be some french fries, onion rings, tater tots, empanadas Handmade empanadas, empanads, handmade empanads Chicken too, no beef, bitch No beef, bitch

And then we're just just for convenience. We're just getting pizza. Becca's making cookie monster donuts Um, excuse me. She's making donuts. Yeah, we got cookie monster cupcakes and like sesame sheet cupcakes. Oh, she's cookie monster ruby No, it's just a sesame street themed birthday party. Oh, you didn't You didn't even look at the invite. Did you I did but that was months ago Oh, okay. I thought because you don't you call her like her a cookie monster or something. Nope Maybe a different baby I get my babies mixed up. I mean, I call her scooby-doo

That's not the cookie monster. That's the cookie monster. I call her scooby-doo big timer little mrs. Big timer rid of sweepy one I call her a whole bunch. What was that last one riddo? sweepy one Also a two What's a two? That's what I say. I'd be like, are you a riddo sweepy one and also a two Bro, you don't understand I was never a baby talker in my life That's not true. No, I really wasn't like like I'm like every now and then with Frank

He used to write notes to your yeah, I didn't write him in baby talk I know but you would I would just call myself chester. So I wouldn't get caught. It was fucking genius joey Yeah, but you also told that story where you lick your finger and put it on the yeah, that was diabolical. That was in baby talk That wasn't that was evil. That wasn't fucking cute No, no, no now. I got you you You would stay on the phone with your girlfriend all night so you could hear each other sleeping. Yes again just in case You needed something. I never did Again, that was stupid not baby talk

I'll tell you the closest it would have been to baby talk is when I would tell my then girlfriend. Good night stories I thought we were gonna end but I can't now What do you mean? Good night stories. You would make them up Kinda wait wait wait You're your girlfriend. How what grade? High school Way too old, but okay, so you would tell her good night stories. What are what's a good night story? It would be I would just change our names

Uh, and I would just tell the story of like how we met Oh, I think you've told me this before. Yeah, so like if her if hypothetically if the girl's name was like Maria, yeah, I would be like it's cranky and baria I remember my name was cranky I do remember this now and I would just be like, you know one day they met each other and like they didn't know if they liked each other But and then it'd be like and then the person on the other end of the phone would be like, you're a good name They'd be like good night Yeah, I was so stupid, you know, that's

But like the reason I was saying this is because like when you have a baby and you notice it when you have with charlie When you have a love like a like a like a pet or a child your baby's talk goes through the roof Of course and they're like it's incoherent for the most part. So like you're not calling you're like, hello little rose petal It's like you come up with names that make no sense. I call my daughter a big timer A big time or what? I don't know. You know, I call her a sleepy ridder one. I call her a mrs. Uh happy napper That one's cute, but again nonsensical, right, you know, and you do it probably with charlie, too Yeah, what are the names you call charlie? barley

Okay, close, but Granky You see where I'm going with this right? He and barley barley boy. I've heard you call him that Never. I think I've heard barley boy I I like I just do weird shit like I'll just like I'll sometimes literally fucking kill him Right, I'll grab his face and I'll just stare at him and then I'll just start dying laughing Dude, I do I look at him and he just makes me laugh Bro, I have to stop myself from squeezing my daughter like today of recording. It's her birthday

I stared into the mirror with her in my hands this morning and I just fucking now. It's like You want to just pop it? I just want to like ah You know, and you'll see when you have a child if you ever have a child You're you think uh Anyone's ever killed a kid like that By accident. I fear they probably have that they're like, oh my god. It's so cute and it's like. Oh, no I killed I fear I fear that being a real possibility scary stuff. It is not fun. I can imagine Well, granky

hoey Hoey, that's the first one. I thought of Thank you. We could not low. Oh loy loy Loey, loy and granky. Yeah, loy and granky. That's fine for ebu That's how I talk to the kids. Yeah, it's just like I dropped like the last like that's like when you said blunder by accident You didn't realize. I yes. Yes. Yes. I handle. Yeah, bando Um

Every now and then I just talked to my daughter like that and miles too. I'm like, oh my real go. Yo What what does that say? That's uh, I'll say little girl, but I'll just drag it out a little bit go. Yo, yo, yo Is that what you said? Oh my little go. Yo, yo, yo, you're saying it sounds so stupid What I say, and it's adorable say it again. I'll be like, oh my big time go Yeah It's what you do for kids, man. Baby talk doesn't need to make sense. You just need to be cute. Hey, man, you nailed it But anyway, grank, where can they find you?

F alvarez or g alvarez, I guess Uh, f alvarez 80 85 on twitter the frank alvarez on twitch and instagram We'll go check it out and then make sure you check out the patreon patreon.com slash the basement yard Sign up for that first here you get these weekly episodes a week in advance get it on the jokes and all the comments and all the Conversation a week before everybody else and then on friday mornings if you're on that next tier you get exclusive episodes that nobody else gets To see except for our lovely patrons. They are out of fucking control Uh, joey is trying to convince the world that I fucked my cousin never happened But the stem of that conversation is on patreon. So go check it out patreon.com slash the basement yard sign up today

Every episode we've ever had on there is yours to watch. So go check it out Yep, and uh, you guys can follow the show at the basement yard on tiktok and instagram and that is all See you guys next time. I'll see you