The Basement Yard - #336 - This Teacher Should Go To Jail Forever

Episode Date: March 7, 2022

A twisted Louisiana ex-teacher admitted to giving her students cupcakes laced with her husband’s sperm. Does this psycho deserve to be in prison forever? Joe & Frank tend to think so.. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. Always a good time. Always a good time to be back with my co-host and subordinate Joe Sanagato Hey, how's it going Frank? Thanks for having me. Yeah, no problem. How you doing, man? I was doing better. When? Before I got in here. That's a little mean. You were in the shower before you got in here What were you doing in the shower? If I was if you had to like if you had to do it wait, what are you talking about follow me here Follow me and I'll let you know if you were like super horny and I came over and like I was in this room And you were showering in the next room Would you but what do you?

If I needed to but I I don't really have to do that you don't uh oh cuz Joe has so much sex That's not what I say master Joe sex Joe. I'm saying I've never compelled to the poem. It's like oh god I got to get home so I could yeah, like I've heard stories of one of our friends from our childhood childhood mm-hmm one of our acquaintances Well not one of our like close friends, okay He's a little outside of the okay, okay But he told me one time that he was in high school and he saw a girl and her thong was showing and he left school Stop swear to God. He's had a jerk off. He's like I went home and jerk off

I've never felt psychotic that that is to me that is psychotic I've never felt compelled to the point where it's like I need to jerk it now But if there was ever a time in my life where that would have happened it would have been freshman year of high school See this is the thing I've seen like in the show sex education Famously like he sees like a bra strap and he's in his car like in a parking lot at his school No, I get that and has to do it get that but they're too old for that Like I remember it being young and being like bro. Is that a bra? No, no, no I am on it really. Yeah, you were that horny for bras, dude. What I still love bras. Do ya?

Sick braz are all right, bro braz shape the boot legitimately I am like I had I actively asked Becca the other day like how often do you have to wash bras? Because is there like titty residue? Yeah, I know like if you sweat if you work out if you have big fat ones You get soaking wet if you got big fat big bungs, you know, if you got beanbags on your chest Yeah, I can understand two hamster cages. Yeah, it's just I don't know just two double bags of dog shit Yeah, I could like understand but like is there like titty residue like does it like I guess when you're lactating Maybe when you're a woman and you're lactating maybe bro

They're probably fucking that the whole place looks like the inside of a barn probably Didn't make that but I Never understood that people that are like compelled like they need a fucking jerk off I don't think I've ever that's not true when I had blue balls once in like high school. I it was like surgical It was like medical at that point. I needed help. You needed to get it out You know like I needed like my body was full of poison. I needed to get it out. Yeah Exactly. Um, I don't yeah, so that's never happened to me. I've never been like, yo I need to get home right now, but I will like if I I

I don't know that I have ever like right now if you ask me I would say that's never happened But I don't want to say never because maybe it did but I can't mean that means it did but he's not admitting it ladies and gentlemen, I can't recall ever like Jerking off at a place that wasn't my house. Yeah, no I so like when I'm away for like a week that last day the travel day. I'm like when I get home. Oh You like run in the door like throw your bag on your bed and just like daddy's home No, no, no, I won't do that But I'll I'll but I'll definitely be my head be like I'm like gonna torch this pain

I never and I also never understood like we've had people during our life Within our friend group and outside. Tell us that like they experimented with their own ejaculate that I I I have never I have always been grossed out by my own body period But definitely like the secretions whether it be ejaculate or whatever my body is creating that first part go to therapy Well, okay second part I guess no, no, no, I'm confident poop poop blood pee Come poop up poop up Poop up we come poop. Look say this five times. Yes, you come poop. Okay. Come poop. Okay. Come All of that is not great. Not good. It's not fun. I don't like it

Not a fan never been like one of those you're but you're grossed out by it like you're like oh get this off of me. I mean Not necessarily but like I Remember like being like in like middle school high school and like that feeling of like you're done and you're just like I am the grossest thing on the planet right now. I don't even want to look at myself You know what I mean like you after where I think Bo Burnham made like the joke in one of his stand-ups where he like pantomimes jerking off and he's like You know, yeah, it's like one of those but like the people that like fucking had the wherewithal to be like And like fucking play with it and shit like that that's not for me

I can honestly say that has never happened that I've ever been like, you know what I'm gonna try this on and I'm like Yeah, it's never happened for me. Was that a fart? Yo, did he just farted and it sounded like something's filling up a co2 tank. Yeah, you dirty fuck Don't come over here. You piece of shit. Okay. Take it easy. Well, he's a dog. Yeah, exactly It was a fart your daughter shits in your hands like that. She definitely does not do What was I gonna say come here. Yeah, I never understood have you ever met anyone that has like Defended that like no, no, it's good for you. No, I have once What I have once the person will remain nameless

But they said like you need to know like you need to know what you taste like I don't need to know anything I definitely don't there's certain things don't need to know. Yeah, don't need to know You know, what's at the bottom of the ocean? I don't need to know that I don't yeah, I definitely don't want to know that. What's in outer space? Don't care. Don't care By the way, I'm one of the few people dude. I don't give a fuck if we go to the moon What dude, I don't give a fuck someone recently was like you don't want to go to Mars and I was like I Don't want to go to the fucking candy store. You think I want to get up and go to Mars I barely want to go to Six Flags and that's fun. That's a lot of fun, but to Mars, bro

What do you think I'm gonna get into a rocket ship? What are you crazy? Yeah, nope. Nope. Nope because then what happens you get there then what happens if like something happens five years until someone gets back to you And you're fucked dude, then you got a big old fat problem not only that but one of my worst fears Irrational fears I should say is being in space and all of a sudden I'm getting disconnected Then I'm just floating until I die dog. I mean, it's not gonna take very long My understanding of space is like you're dead pretty quickly. No, I would have a good suit on Well, you would yeah Like an astronaut suit. Oh, you do they gave you I thought you meant like you get like out of like the release hatch

Oh, no, bro. No, no, no, don't be ridiculous. I mean you just fall asleep You wouldn't even know I guess I would just like suffocate. I'm more scared about being buried alive The buried alive part is the one that fucks me up. How would you be buried alive like at the beach? I mean doesn't necessarily need to be the beach Joey. It could be a fucking park. What's going on over there? You guys are all Here he goes now. He's gonna expect you to throw it and he's gonna trample all the cameras He's gonna he's gonna bark to watch I I don't like buried alive is more of a fear of mine than than anything else

Wait, are you worried about being buried alive like in your coffin or like? Well, just you know, like someone like takes me and buries me alive. Like that's that's very scary That's a bad way to die. Well, this is this is distracting. Charlie. You're fucking killing me, bro Sit down. You know, you're you're affecting the money You don't get it He doesn't care. He doesn't get it. He's a little boy. That's that's white dog privilege. Okay You said you had a question for me Yeah, I don't know why but I just wrote this down. Okay, I didn't really know but like I know one of the answers to this

But I know for most people are there more than one. Yeah, and it was what did you want to be when you grew up? Oh Before SNL because that that takes the easy answer. Yeah, was there ever a thing like a weird thing when you could first remember? Yes. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. Yeah, I remember the first thing I ever wanted to be was a police sketch artist I don't remember I think you can't even draw. I know I think I was probably like gassed up by my family Like I would draw like the most basic shit. They were like, you're a great draw You know how like all kids are great at drawing But like the reason they tell you that listen if you're a kid watching this everyone told you you were a kid You're a great jar. It's because you drew like too good for how stupid you probably were

Or it's just you drew anything Yeah, but like also like your parents go so hard with babies like I like a kid kid like smile at a woman Oh, he's gonna be a big flirt. Well, that's just a heavy assumption, baby I have heard this quite a bit where like Becca on a couple occasions has been like I think he has an engineer brain I think he's gonna be an engineer and I'm like he's six Yeah, he's gonna be in seventh grade one day and then we'll see where we go for a second I think he's gonna be an architect. He loves Legos. You know who else loves Legos the earth It's the most popular game ever. I will say I will I will say

Miles in particular is like wildly good at this stuff Like he just fucking sits it and like he did one that was like an 18 plus one Wow, he may build a city with a con then you never know But I do I my first thing was a police sketch artist and I vividly remember someone being like oh, you want to be a cop And I was like no just I want to draw the bad guys are those cops I think it's probably like someone they have to be like sworn in or like like meter maids like they're not cops Well, they're like part of them. No, but I to my understanding. I thought meter maids. Oh, no, they work for the MTA Maybe no, I believe they do work for the NYPD, but it's like but I think that's like, you know when you first get there

They just try you out and like hey, you don't do patrol right away. I have no fucking I don't know But we're gonna talk like we do I I'm pretty sure it's like one of those things We're like they need to be like a semi sworn in officer, you know where it's like but they don't go out They don't carry a gun they carry a pen which is fucking dangerous Are you arguably worse? Well pen is mightier than the sword and the tongue licks them both What was that last part you never tongue licks them both. Yeah, you never heard that saying who licks a sword well people that are smart I guess I don't know but the pen is mightier than the sword and the tongue licks the tongue looks them both Yeah, like writing is like good. It's better than fighting, but like speaking is way better

Also, I don't like pens you like pens. I I I I tried that one where like a pen is it working? Does that happen still doesn't work. I feel like that works for like quills, but not pens No, quills you do that to your tongue with a quill you're fucking piercing yourself. Oh, they are very sort of a bitch is sharp as shit Yeah, but that was the first thing I can actively remember and then I think growing up like every kid wants to be like a professional athlete To some degree which sport probably baseball. Okay. Yeah, of all the sports. That was the most realistic one Yeah, well, that's the one we played when you were younger. Well, yeah I also played football, but then they were like I also went through like weird sports. I went through like European handball. I remember you went through a rock climbing phase

I would think that you were gonna be a superhero or something. Well, first of all, fuck you You're like, yo, all the kids in my camp call me spider-man. I was called spider-man at Shibley Day Camp I do wish there were more people that were around. This was over 20 years ago So I guess I have no one to you know back me up here aboutch. I Didn't think I was gonna be a superhero I also just did it and like didn't think anything of it like outside of like just doing it But I was fucking good dude like I swear to God I wish they probably tore that old-ass fucking rock climbing wall down

But like I wrote my name on the inside of that shit because it was like only people that had records did that I had the fastest time in the camp at one point. Wow, dude I went up that fucking wall like a son of a bitch You're walking out there. Well get up to the top of the wall quick enough you walk out with some hoes Well definitely didn't know you had that one girl I had two girls that liked me and I had to pick between them and that's when I put my phone background a split in two What is split in two because I felt like I was split between the two girls Hold on

You I can't there was two girls that liked you. Yeah, and you were into them both Yeah, but you had to pick one of them. Yeah, well because so you made your background It's the word split in two. Yep. It was just split in two. Yeah It was on my Nokia brick at the time and like you had backgrounds on those phones It was like I could put like words at the top of it So it could say like Frank's phone. Oh, you know like hello there and you put split into split in two Yeah, I would drop first. Oh, you guys don't understand that is the most Frankie thing of all That was a pretty diabolical thing

I Listen, I don't I don't actively look at you showed them off you like look I mean I had to you know I needed to let them know that I was in fact Split into a decision is coming Just know that it wasn't just no it's not an easy one And that's probably how I worded it too. It was like I sit you both down You know want to let you know that this was really tough for me like LeBron take my talents the South Beach

Yeah, I'm giving my talents to so-and-so. Yeah So who had a man's name we've talked about we've talked about her brandy. Okay. Well, there it is Yeah, I was gonna let them do the digging, but you know her last name. Uh, I Think she got married so I don't know I remember her maiden name not saying that wait How do you know she got married keeping tabs on this girl? Well, we had like early on in fate we were Facebook friends because like I remember I reconnected I went to like a Mets game with her and like 2006 or something. Yeah, it was wild time for me and Randy Guys we getting Randy

Why do people think that was like that's how to say horny? Yeah, where they're like you're feeling but that's like British people they they like to say anything But the actual word, you know, they won't say, you know beer. They'll say give me a point. Give me a liquor, you know Second one might not be true, but yeah, I don't know yeah They say horny is Randy or feeling quite Randy cheeky right now. What is cheeky cheeky means just like like like I think it's like You know like you do something throwing horny vibes not just horny vibes But I think it's also like a like a playful like you cheeky bug. Ah, you're like you're such a little Cheeky cunt. Don't well, that's that's no that's like aggression horny. Well, I don't know

I don't think they you cheeky cunt. I think cunt is like they're like good friend No, no, that's Australia, bro. No, I don't think so Australia in Australia. I just like like, you know, that's my boy No, I think that's my cunt. I think no, no, no, I think that's England They're like, you know, I it's my my pal my boy, you know, I think they say like really like like his buddy They say it's my blatant cunt No, but you can like call your teacher that in Australia. Oh, you're silly cunt, and he's like sit down England I'm pretty sure I think cunt is like a big like England thing and it in Ireland to Ireland They call each other the wildest shit. Yeah, they they cut it up. No, like those be like your mother sucks hug pee pee

You know, I know it's my good lad. That's my good friend. Yeah, you know, it's a good That's a good chap drinking beers calling each other's mom's guns What do they what do they use is like a playful term in Australia cunt, bro? I don't think so, dude. Oh Telling you bro. I think it's mate They made it up. They made it up. Oh, no, Britain mates at the fuck. No was good. I might that's that's what England That's what Australia is known for they also I think a lot of people mate and we and we don't though. No, we don't start mating. I You know, I don't mind mate. I don't mind mate. I don't mind bud. I don't mind pal. Yeah, but bud pal suck

No, they're not that bad. This is this is my mate. I might cunt it up Probably won't work out. Well, my cunt. Yeah, it's probably won't I don't think it'll go it'll go over like a lead balloon Yeah, I think so. What was the first thing you remember wanting to be? I Think it was I have a boring answer. I figured you'd have a cooler one, but I well what the fuck mine was awesome Yeah, I said I have a boring. Oh, I thought you said figured mine would be cooler like yeah figured mine would be cooler than mine Oh, it is. That's why yeah. Yeah, that's why I'm saying I don't even know yours, but it's definitely cooler Well, yeah, it's cuz you had your daddy was a fireman. Yeah, I mean very Irish you Joe

Yeah, I guess this one one direction for angry Irishman. Hmm, and it's fireman or one direction Like it Nile. He's from Ireland. Is he yeah Consid up to does he he called the paparazzi had come once, but it was like a playful Do you know do you I think the term you ever heard the term patty wagon for the cops? We just talked about this. We did right? It's like an Irish thing, right? It is I think okay I didn't know if I was talking to you. Well, cuz I think it was like an I like cops Yes, it was like a colloquial Derogatory term because all the cops were Irish back in the day and angry and now they're just angry

So they would when the cars would come they call it the patty wagon because it was a carry and a bunch of cops There's a bunch of officer Sullivan's out there Sullivan's Oh Hannah or oh horror. Oh Shaughnessy. Oh Shaughnessy Spells Shaughnessy. It's like S. H. A. and a C. C I don't know. Yeah, there's like a G in there. I think it's like UGH Yeah, police sketch artist and then I'm sure there was other stuff in there Yeah, nothing like super cool though like police sketch artist is fucking hilarious though Oh, and I did not expect that at all

I remember not being a good drawer like I remember always feeling like this is just like fine, you know But that might have just been The good ol' noggin at work. I used to think I could draw and then I went to school and I don't know if it was the famous Alan Wang or if it was might have been Alan Wang Alan Wang was a kind of a big dumb idiot. I don't remember him being very good at anything Sorry Alan. I Don't mean to he was he was a bit of like yo, I all I when I close my eyes I picture Alan Wang in like of like horizontal striped red and white shirt. Holy shit, dude

I was thinking red and orange. Well, that's just what dumb idiots wore, you know, like those stripes like they had like When you think of like kids in the 90s that were like the dumb kid, they had like that shirt Solid hair solid color pants wild hair and like that hat with a little propeller on it Yeah, and then just a swirly twirly lollipop Swirly twirly that was Alan Wang. Yeah, it was Alan Wang No, but it might have been Richard. No, then that was fifth grade only Richard. No might have been good at drawing bad at speaking English Yeah, yeah, he was not great at that. It wasn't he I think he was like an exchange student from which is South Korea not the other one No, but I remember

Going in in the morning We would all the kids would be in the lunchroom and like you sit with your class and the teacher takes you upstairs So we're sitting there and he drew a fucking Charizard Like freehand and I was like this motherfucker can draw like at that I like that was the point that I knew that like whatever artistic dreams I had or out the fucking window Yeah, I'm not giving into any Inappropriate stereotypes, but I will say in elementary school the Asian kids that we went to school with we're just better at everything than me And you middle school at elementary school. I said, oh, I we didn't go to middle school together

So I can't speak for you, but like bro like think of like the heavy hitters Dixon Tiffany, you know Richard Dixon one of the fastest kids bro the fat I swear I convinced myself at a young age and he had spiky hair cuz he ran so fast Yeah, he was very fast. He was very fast. They were just way better at everything than me Yeah, and that's not like I'm not saying what it was but just everything and like mad good drawers They also had good-ass pencils. They had those pencils that you like load up like guns with the fucking little like yo Honestly, dude remember those if we're gonna be a little

stereotypical all of the Asian kids and I maybe have ever known in my life throughout the school system in New York have all had Fire mechanical pencil bro the best fire mechanical they pull out that Japanese like or some sort of Asian pencil case Yes, there is some heat coming out of it, dude, bro. I remember the first time I saw a mechanical pencil I was like, what is this sorcery dude a one time? I got a pencil I think from Alan Wang this dude gave me a pencil and I was like this thing had had like Tempur-pedic on it, bro. I was like my hand is so comfortable writing Yeah, they would put the pencil like the pad on it like that little finger pad. Yeah, bro I remember Tiffany win one time she like

Flipped me up. Yo, she was back She was a how the fuck was she doing this if any way first and last it's out there Don't care Tiffany when was out there with mechanical pencils like she was Ringo star dude Hundreds on every single tech like ambidextrous to she was like doing like reading with this hand math with this hand also a good tennis player What the fuck bro? She was very good But I remember she had one pencil that like she turned it was a pencil turned It was a pen turned it was a stylus and then it had an eraser and everything already it was it was wild What what is this it was very impressive and they had those also those pencils that were like I said load like a gun

You would like take the thing out put it in the back. Those are so far. Uh, what else are they have? Oh, they would always have an extra magazine of fucking point seven or point five lead in their backpack. Hell. Yeah, bro You got lead you got lead. Of course. I got they had it. They had it They had it was like a fucking barracks in their backpack. Also, I remember I Remember One year. I don't remember What grade it was? But those were the those are the ones that I can remember it was Tiffany Allen

Dixon and Richard. Well, Richard was fifth grade, but one of them. I believe it was Tiffany. It was Chinese New Year and they brought in those red packets for everybody does mad good luck And it and like we all got like a little gift. I was like, yo, this is fine. It was awesome. It was so cool I remember, you know, they They always had Tiffany in particular. We used to steal her like I used to steal not steal but ask nicely a case deal Her like pocky stick snacks. It was like those like breadsticks that were dipped in like yogurt. Love those. Oh, it was so good Yeah, we're mad good and then you know, but they did like I don't I don't mean a stereotype And I don't think I'm being inappropriate

But like bro, they had the best best pencils hardware in Like on the market. Yeah, like without a doubt and then on top of that, they were just also good at sports They were also like well, I would dominate all of them in sports. Well, because you know manifest destiny And I just I just actively remember, you know, just being inferior to all of them, especially in drawing, which is how we got here They would always draw mad good shit like even like those like 90s s's You know those s's there's like line line line line line like them But I remember the first time I remember someone drawing that was Dixon and the kid was good at it. Yeah What is wrong with us? Oh, well, how much time you got? I don't know you're 30 now. All right, let's get to

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Slash basement. All right So I have a question for you before we get into some other stuff that I know you have on the docket Uh, I told you I wanted to bring this up, but I actually looped it in because I have a question Yeah, um, you saw stone cold sea boston's coming back for wrestlemania. Did not see that I told you that i'm the first person to break the news to you. It's been heavily reported In all but confirmed, but how much of your because we watch a lot of wrestling as a kid How much of your personality now do you think was shaped? From watching like the rock stone cold and people like that just talk shit to each other on fucking wwe

I feel like there used to be a lot. I feel like that was everything at one point Every wrestling was everything at one point like the stone cold like stone cold and the rock were Yeah, you don't see that anymore You absolutely don't how great was it to go to be watching tv As a kid and watch a guy just throw double middle fingers into the fucking camera Bro, I I swear to god I like I legitimately think that most of what my personality was and like to a degree is Is because of like hearing like the rock like chris jericho just like talk shit back and forth to each other

That's how you learned how to Well, like I think like you know like the rock was just always like very fucking like quick with it You know what I mean poetic he was very poetic And stone cold was just always like at the end of the day. He's like slamming beers slamming beers teaching us to be alcoholics, right, which We emulated pretty well pretty well And then just like just telling people to just like, you know, like oh, fuck you. Well without saying fuck you as much as you can Yeah, I think he dropped some fucks out there back. He probably did if you go cons though because we're this is north america Is north america they don't say cons are over here. Do they have wrestling like in australia?

They have like their own wwe not wwe because that's like a worldwide brand, but they have their own brands and promotions absolutely The down the down on the wrestling You've had better jokes. Yeah, that was not very good That was not very good down under wrestling Yeah, that's where I mean you gotta man. I know that they have like small independent fucking like Promotions in those areas. Yeah But I don't know man. I miss stone cold though. I'll watch wrestling mania if he comes back

Will you? Hell yeah, but I need to see him like I don't want to hear him like oops. I don't want to hear him like being a little like PC if I'm if it's so cold out there. I want him to just be like I don't care about your pronouns You know, but he's actually very liberal. He is quite liberal. Most of the wrestling industry is actually a very liberal industry People don't realize that. That's funny. I would love to see him just fucking just start stuntering Everyone random people everyone in the crowd. Yeah, I don't want to see like a single person go unscathed Yeah, I want everyone to get their own stunner. How bad do you think?

Or how good do you think you would have been if you like decided like yo instead of like being the king of youtube I'm gonna go and become a professional wrestler. I'd be horrible, bro. You don't think so. You don't think you'd be good I'm afraid of heights. You don't need to be a high flyer. You could be a little ground-and-pound boy Yeah, but uh, yeah, I guess so But you would be a high flyer. You watch way too much jeff hardy to not. Yeah, I yeah, I would probably have to send it but I I uh Bro one time I swanton bombed off of my uh bunk bed onto my dad's bed

I wouldn't do that now Oh, wow. Yeah, because at one point you wouldn't make it now at one point My dad slept in a room with me and my brother Okay Because he snored could have could have been the The status of the marriage as well. Yeah, you know, you might have uh, you could have been the status could have been the snoring Could have been both you could have read the writing on the wall. Yeah, I mean I I was like guys snores welcome

Um, so that was all I thought of but I being Keith were like wrestling. Oh, you know what? I don't even think I was wrestling with Keith. I think I was wrestling my action figures Oh, definitely. Yeah, that's what I used to do when people play with action figures. They go, oh I would wrestle the action figure. I would suplex a little action figure. Yeah, and I put one on the bed Mind you, there's a fan Literally right here and something that you had that I that I know that you had too is they had those like stuffed animals But it was like sting and goldberg and if that was in a house It was getting leg dropped period. I don't care those things in the face

But I sw- I did a front flip off my bunk bed onto my dad's bed onto an action figure That one of the things that we because we've spoken about the 48 tree files was videos that we made as kids a lot Yeah, one of the things that we have either severely downplayed or not spoken about nearly as much Is how much of that footage was us wrestling? And like how uncomfortable it was to watch because anytime we would make a video we would show all of our friends and your family And then like we would be like, dude, this is so great And then it would be like intercut with like 16 minutes of us just staging an elaborate fucking Match at unforgiven, you know a last man standing match at unforgiven between me and you

Yeah, you know where and it wasn't even creative like you were the bus driver and I was the shoe polisher At one point because I found a bottle of shoe polish. Was it a shoe polisher? Yep I thought it was toothpick tom or something like that. There that was a different match. That was a different match Yeah, toothpick tom and I maybe that was when you were uh I remember my special was I was honking the horn Yeah, which I would lay on the ground and then you would just push on my chest Yeah, and we we would like intercut it with oh you and me doing it to the camera Yeah, no, so me and frankie were not only the wrestlers, but the announcers also the announcers

So we would cut in the middle of the match and go to the announce table and it'd be me and him announcing very winded Yeah talking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it was uh, but a lot of it was just like us awkwardly wrestling And then like we would be in the middle of it would be like all right smackdown smackdown Because the video game at the time when you would do your message like your message your special move Smackdown would pop up. Yeah, and then you'd you know f5 or whatever. Let me do my smackdown. Yeah smackdown smackdown Yeah, uh, but and then like doing like a frog splash with a pillow on top of our stomach and stuff like that very uncomfortable I think a lot of who I am as a person is shaped by what stone cold has done in his career And like the way that he would like talk to people

Dude can stone cold move the guy was wearing leg braces 20 years ago. That's what i'm saying, dude I don't know if him coming back when wrestling made it's a good idea because He's I think he's like 57 58 And he hasn't wrestled since 2003 I'm not looking so good for good old stony coldy. Yeah, I don't know Listen, all I need is to hear that music and see a stunner. Yeah, once that music once that glass shatters It doesn't matter who's coming out. I'm I'm already hooked. Yeah hook line and sinker. I I mean, I know I've told the story or you've told the story multiple times, but one of the greatest things was when uh

In in high school when you said On the last he did the morning announcements and then ended it with and that's the bottom line Because so cold said so. Yeah, I got I got yelled at which teacher uh adam tenowski. I'll let it fly Don't give a fuck. Wow. Okay. First and last mr. Tenowski. Yeah, he he like pulled tight He was not happy and I was like cool with him like we were boys And I did it because remember it was like in the main office. They had like those like giant ass like 1960s fucking radio control towers in our office And uh, I remember me walking out and he was in there and he was like, who do you think you are? What what do you do? And the principal was just like dude come into my office

But hey man, I will never forget hearing the the Hallways erupt in laughter. Yeah, uh, that was that that's like one of my it honestly does and I try to mr. Tenowski No, no, no. Well, yeah, he was cool. But I guess not that day Cool that day not a good time for teachers, by the way right now. There's some stuff going on What what happened with teacher? Well, it's first of all, let's be very clear about something Never a good time for teachers underpaid underappreciated undervalued. Um, well You're gonna want to take that back after this story. What? Um, oh Yeah, yeah

Franky we talked about talking about this for sure. So I guess he just forgot I just realized what I was doing Oh boy, yeah, so this is funny and not fucking funny at all not at the same time part of it Wild let's just be honest here Some things are funny and not fucking funny at all. Yeah at the same time the fact that they happen Is crazy funny. It's funny to be like what? Yeah, like, you know, like the like the term life is stranger than fiction You've heard that but the tongue licks both but the tongue

Like in certain like when something happens, you're just like, yo, that's wild that it happened. Yeah, but it's fucked up Yeah, so this one Is uh, it's a heavy one. It says x teacher. So yeah, let's just say this before we get to what she did Got fired. Well, did she get fired? Maybe not for this. I think she was a teacher like years ago. Oh, I don't know whatever. Well, thank god. Yeah x teacher, uh, who fed students semen laced cupcakes sentenced sentenced to 41 years For anyone who didn't understand what I just said this woman brought in cupcakes for her students and laced it with her

gross husbands semen That's that's a jaculate. That's calm. That's frothy ejaculate for those of you that don't know That's what that is. Do you think if you wicks? Well, like, you know how you whisk, uh egg whites. It becomes a meringue if you whisk Don't ask me that. Okay. Don't ask me that A twisted louisiana x teacher who admitted to giving her students cup By the way, louisiana Uh, let's just say let's say to giving her students cupcakes laced with her husband's swarm has been sentenced for 41 years prison

Uh, synthia perkins first and last Uh, wait, okay. She's in prison. Oh, yeah Fuck her to death. What's she good? Well, no, I mean like fuck her to hell. I mean, that's yeah, yeah Hope she goes to hell. Yeah. Well, forget the fuck. She's already on her way. Joey's gonna fuck her on the way I'm not fucking anybody. Okay, uh, synthia perkins 36 Was sentenced friday after cleaning gives you a second second There's a lot of stuff in there. Yeah second-degree

rape child pornography YouTube sorry about that. Yeah, you might want to we're gonna be demonetized. You might just want to no possibility of parole for 40 years Bro This is the woman this woman looks like every fucking teacher Yeah, yep sounds sounds like every teacher in the world too Dude these people are sick. Yeah, what what what are you getting out of that? What was that one more time? What are you getting at? Why would you do that? Not only why would you do it, but like how would you have the like

Fucking a bill. Oh my god. It was a junior high school. Yeah, they're big kids. That's bro. I was young That's 12. That's 12 to 15. This is weird to say, but I was hoping it was at least high school Yikes, Joey. I was hoping it was old. I don't know why I don't think there's a good age period No, I do. I think that the younger you get the worse it gets No, no, I think it's bad. Okay. I obviously it's bad if she was a college teacher now I wouldn't feel as bad About well, there are other things that she I would feel bad But that's what I'm saying other things that she did or fucking put this woman in prison for

Yeah, this woman should die in the prison. She will hopefully um But like if they were college age students that were eating these cupcakes and I mean, let's be honest Most colleges kids are eating wild shit as it is. Okay, Frankie. That's enough No, but I'm saying it's it it's uh, it's not it's not good, but also, uh, so this is her husband and uh Uh She filmed her husband supplying semen for the cupcakes that were later fed to children at the high school at the junior high school That's the part to me in these stories that always gets me is that Not only like it was mixed into desserts and energy drinks

Oof How do you mix it into an energy? She's making her own energy drinks for loco. There you go Might have just discovered the new for loco How well, how do we know original for loco wasn't this woman? We don't know and it's from Louisiana Is it it's what she's saying Louisiana. Oh, I thought you were saying four locals. Oh louis I don't know where the hell four locals from but it's gotta be louisiana or space It sent you there. It didn't bring it didn't come from there though Um, but like that's the part of these that always gets me is that they have the wherewithal to not only come up with the idea

But then execute it and then film it And it's like what how fucking wild are you? That you like during that whole process you're never like bad idea bad idea bad idea bad idea bad idea Because you like they know what they're doing. They're getting off on like The the secrecy or the fucked up nature of it, but it's like you look at this woman This freak yeah, we could say it and uh She looks Like a normal like you know what i'm saying like oh why does she look normal joe?

Okay No, but she just looks like any other teacher that would be in a school and you're like This is the person that is lacing cupcakes with semen and feeding it to kids Terrifying bro. I would say this And none of it not not that none of it was happening But we weren't like living through the information age with all social media and everything gets reported when we were going through school and honestly with all of this Knowing the kind of person I am and the amount of anxiety I had especially when I was younger

It would make school terrifying Yeah, between all of the shit that goes on that results in the death of children and then the fucking drug problem And then we got fucking this shit for all we know when we were kids and probably was happening Our teachers are just fucking fingerblasting each other in the back of the like the classroom when we weren't seeing Well that we knew we well, you know But like now everything is fucking online and everything is documented and shit like that Nothing happens in a classroom realistically without someone knowing about it outside of that classroom so the fact that this like

happened in the first place and Like we didn't find out until recently is is pretty fucking crazy dude also like And listen imagine you're one of these students What kind of teacher was she too was she like the like the cool teacher or did she have shitty like I'm not saying the kids were bad kids But like I've been pretty fucked up to some teachers and done some pretty fucked up shit No, I don't think it was like revenge because kids were like tormenting her

I think that she was just like a fucking psycho. I want to hear some evil shit It's fucked up, but it's funny when I was in sixth grade there was a teacher who will remain nameless And art the sixth grade I went to was fucking rough dude. It was a bad school and We all like would do like lunch periods So like the sixth grade had the lunch period same time seventh grade had the lunch period same time and whatever and there was one Year my time when I was there in sixth grade There was like a handful of lunch periods that this teacher would be at the lunch period and they were a vietnam vet

So the kids in the lunch room would like to start screaming like get down. No, bro I Would scream shit like you're like get down go go go go I didn't contribute I could say confidently I did it because I I I wasn't in on the joke because I didn't get it at first So when like everyone was doing it, I didn't understand. I was just laughing because kids were just screaming shit Yeah, but then when I found out I was like, you know, that's fucking diabolical, dude. Yeah, that's so fucked But like junior school kids are pieces of shit. They don't deserve this. That's for sure Yeah, no, you don't you don't if there was a cupcake that was laced with cum and you knew it. Would you still eat it?

No vanilla Frankie, do you think the I like vanilla icing that much? No, no, no. I'm saying like what's your favorite cupcake? Like a fun fettie fun fettie cupcake with like fun fettie Oreo ice cream I don't know if that's a real thing, but I don't you just named two different things Uh, uh icing. Did I say ice cream or ice cream? Okay, all right Like he was like, yo like have this and like then after when you found out it was a cum and you just be like, oh, no Or do you be like

It's still kind of good I mean Full disclosure go ahead I think that I wouldn't be able to tell I you you'd be really upset if you could though Well, I'd be upset regardless. Yeah, I'd be upset dude Don't fucking my food because that's like my one of my that's why I don't send food back I the food would have to be inedible for me to be or is that the word? Yes

In order for me to send it back Like they would have to show up and put a chicken on my plate that they didn't even put on a pan I'd be like, oh, it's raw. It's a little raw and even then I'd be like shit. Yeah, I shouldn't have done that I almost got the cops called on me in college for messing with someone's food Would you do their food? So we were um, I lived my first year of college I lived in a suite and uh, we would fuck with each other. We prank each other one of my sweet mates had You know, like he bought like a half gallon of milk for his protein shakes or whatever And uh, I jerked off. No, I'm kidding

No, I remember I bought uh, like super powered laxatives that came in like a pill form And I crushed him up and put him in the milk And boy did he shit his pants. Really? Yeah, dude, and uh, like we told our r.a. Like in like Pat Because we all thought it was funny and we told the kid think it was fun Yeah, he was like, yeah, that was good. Like that was funny. He was a good sport about it. He was also we was british Um, really his mom was british. Uh, did he have an accent when he wanted to That means no no when he won't like with certain words He would be able to pull it off and like when he met girls he'd be like a lot

You know, uh, but we like told our r.a. and passing and they were like We have to call campus police And I was like, why and they're like, it's a crime to fuck with people's food and we're like But we're not like Fuck like we're not mad about it and they were like doesn't fucking matter And like we convinced them to not call campus police But like yeah, it almost became a big fat problem for good old franky boy. I have a big milky problem That would have been a big milky shitty problem. Yeah

I want have you ever taken a laxative? Uh, yeah, I had to get colonoscopies. Oh, yeah, I forgot about I'll never understand how my body can like exert that much force What even is in a laxative? What does it do? Bro, it cleans you out. I know. I know it makes you shit. Don't don't how how what is it doing? The way ipikak makes you throw up this makes you shiced Like it it bro. It literally I cannot explain like you need to take like a medical grade one Like you can go and get like mere lax or you're whatever it's called from like fucking cbs

But if you get like these like Like medical grade like prescription ones Bro, you'll it's gonna be an afternoon whole afternoon A 24 hours. Whoa, bro. The first one that I took I took it. I drank it five minutes later. It was like stop Five bro five minutes later. If you were not at a bathroom It was a dude. It was a problem like there was nothing you could have done It was insane. I'll never forget that you should do it vlog it 10 000 patrons got it ladies and gentlemen

Go get a colonoscopy patreon.com slash the base vignard. Go. You know, I'll do that because I'm supposed to get one Yeah, patreon.com slash 30 now, dude. You are 30. I gotta go get a colonoscopy Can I please plug the patreon please patreon.com slash the base vignard sign up today? You get these weekly episodes a week in advance for that first year that second tier you get exclusive episodes every single Friday morning Start and end your week with the base vignard. Go check it out patreon.com slash the base vignard We've been flirting with this idea of getting a 10 000 patrons. We got to like I think 9600 is our our most That's our peak if we get to 10 000 I think you should get a colonoscopy get a colonoscopy and and I'm not gonna film myself shitting not shitting but like

Like they're like drinking the the laxative and then afterward like you describing your body Just like a day vlog of me like I've shit again bro. You won't believe what your body does It's kind of you need to like you need a you need to find like a like a rectal colorectal surgeon Why is everything assholes with me? I mean I already shoved a what did I do an enema? Did you do an enema? Yeah, that's right. That's on there. You can go check it out all those old episodes by the way Sign it up. You got him today. It was so funny when I did that enema video on patreon Some people are like we didn't even get to what you think I was gonna film my asshole for you Come on guys. This isn't only fans. Yeah. Well. Oh, no. No, Frank. Yeah, 10,000. No 11,000. Um, no, but yeah 20,000 patrons

I'm not showing my asshole to anybody for 20,000 patrons. Joe. I know You're pretty penny. Yeah, would but I got this thing just say that you would so they can do it and then we can Bail we could take a really tight lip picture of your mouth and say it was your butthole Just do a little like I feed you oreos and take a picture of your mouth and say it's your butthole Feed me oreos. Yeah, I guess a little brown in there a little black What is your asshole? What do you but your asshole has crumbs in it like an Oreo from What do you think what does your asshole look like? I I've seen it one too many times. No, I've seen it because I made you look at you made me look at it

And I was very upset about it Pretty cool. No. No. No. No. I told you mine's like purple. Yeah, that's Probably something you should get checked. No, it's just like white get to 10,000 patrons soon because Joey needs this This is pretty dire. Yeah. A doctor hasn't seen my asshole. Maybe ever No, no, they've seen it. They've definitely seen it. I've never been you're too cute I've never been fingered. I can guarantee you've been fingered. I've never been fingered. You sure about that. Yeah They're gonna make you a boy I can't wait until you have to do this stuff because your story is gonna be great

Can I be the person that drives you to and from when you get your colonoscopy? Why I can't go no, you can't you need someone to drive you there and back Why because you go under anesthesia Really? Yeah. Oh my god. I have to go to sleep Where do you think they're gonna keep you want to stay awake for it? When they pump a fucking hose of of air in your asshole with a camera. Is that what they do? Yeah, they bro. They literally tell you like oh you do big farts after too, right? You fucking let it rip beyblade, baby. That I'm gonna be excited about. No

Dude farting is like fire. It doesn't feel cool at all farting. No, like the bigger and longer the fart the more I'm having fun Really? Yeah, bro. I don't get that I definitely do not understand that you hate when when air leaves you I just I don't like I don't feel you got separation anxiety with your hair I guess I do. I don't feel any joy when my body does anything like Like body related, you know what I mean? that what Anything body related like when it's like making like like when I'm burping or like when I'm farting or something

I'm just like this. I hate every second of this. Yeah, I mean I Yeah, I gotta go get one 10,000 patrons 10,000 patrons, uh Probably go anyway. Yeah, we'll have an interview with the doctor and they'll talk about your asshole Can you imagine like describe it? Where does it rank? percentage rise In what percentile is this a cute butt? I've not seen many buttholes. I would guess that you have how many things you've seen I My own

Maybe like maybe three No, bro, you've seen way more than I don't know about three. First of all, every girl you've ever had sex with Jesus christ, joey What's wrong with you, bro? All right, so 10 10,200. No, I'm saying you see assholes during sex, especially when you're necessarily Okay, doggy style. There's an asshole right there. You're not necessarily looking at the asshole. You don't fucking make You don't make contact with the eye of sauron. What are you doing this? You know, maybe some people are joey. No, maybe it was a very religious moment. Oh, you're looking to we put the Sheet in front of us in between us No, and we only made eye contact and said I love you back and forth. You've seen some holes, bro

I don't I can't think of that many honestly daughter. Jesus christ, joey That's my daughter. I'm we're talking about we're not saying anything sexual. You literally just said all the sex No, because yes, because that is when you've seen one. I don't like this time my brothers. I don't like whoa Yeah, they used to do getting mooned in the 90s. You've seen buts getting mooned in the 90s. You butts They don't show you a hole. No people show holes. Who's keep showing you his asshole He didn't know the rules. What's his asshole look like? It's just like a butt run in the middle asshole. Yeah, it's just like a textbook nothing that nice Nothing to talk about. I mean, that's that's an untouched, but I'm if I don't like things nearer around my butt

I can imagine keith is like angry about the idea of something Yeah, I don't think he's like wiped because he just want to get near it. Yeah Let's text keith right now. Ask him like if he what's the thought of him doing a colonoscopy with you What do you mean? I think people would like on patreon to see some keith sanagato content Me and him getting one together. Yeah, just like holding hands Playing next to each other with tubes in our ass like a couple. Yeah, like a couple's there a couple's the massage No, I don't know about all that You can't get a tandem colonoscopy. I'm sure it bro money money talks. You can do anything if you got the right amount

That's not true. Danny got a colonic I don't know what that is. It's like they clear out your intestines. So like He showed me a video because they have a screen And they like shove a hose in you and they literally just like leave the faucet on Yeah, or something like that, right? Yeah, and you can see on the screen And it's just like little poops little particles And bro all of a sudden it looked like a killer whale What?

It was like a big shit. Oh, yeah, they clear out your whole thing. That's disgusting. Yeah Where do you get this done? But I think it's like I don't like there's probably always a little bit of poop in your intestines I mean, yeah, it does it your all your your intestines are like 30 feet long to think that there's like nothing in there That's just backed up. So imagine getting like just a completely empty intestine That'd be weird, dude. I feel like you'd feel so skinny probably you'd feel skinny That's what they that's what they should do before they do like weigh-ins before like a lot. Yeah

Like bro like a weigh-in you need to like shed weight for a UFC fight Yeah, but they've been eating fucking egg whites and 10 gallons of water a day So they're not full of anything. What they're full. They're full of something. It's just a matter of where it is I guess so Come come teacher The come teach. That's how we that's crazy If you had if you thought one teacher that we had growing up would do such a thing. Who would it be? Laverso Jesus

That's not my answer. Who? Probably bamboo No, he was cool. He was cool as shit. I know but he was kind of a mystery to me He was a little bit of a mystery. He was old greek gym teacher. So yeah, he was either awesome or had a lot of skeletons Disclosure My guy fucked with him heavy. Well, he loved you because you were good at basketball. Yeah, and you know just cute Well, that second part makes me You're gonna tell me he didn't think you were cute. I don't know

I also one thing that I will say about being like a gym teacher, especially I need to applaud mr. Pambukas because He never took advantage of his job. I I did one Summer where I did an after-school program where I filled in for my sister for like a week because she like I think she like That's when her she tore a cl or something. I don't you know, but a bunch of torn ACL is my family. Yeah, you're all fucked up so, uh I filled in for her and it was like during the summer. So it's like there's no like class or anything So they like play for the most part

And at one point it was me and Keith Uh who were there? And a bunch of other teachers also, but it's like you're in the gym and all the kids play basketball. They do whatever dude I couldn't fight the urge. I tried but blocking children is one of the greatest things ever Playing sports and being aggressive against children in that sport is too fun And i'm too much of an ego maniac that I find who's the best basketball player and fucking D up Yeah, you should post up bro. See if they could score on you make this kid feel just pathetic

Ruin his dreams because you know, he's dog and everyone else there But that day I put little fucking Tommy on my team You know what I mean? Who never gets picked and then we fucking meet Keith bro I saw Keith. There was this kid. I forget his name, but he was it was like this kid He was like a bigger kid. He was kind of fat and he just complained the whole time His name I think was like it sounded like Muhammad backwards. It wasn't Muhammad. It was Muhammad backwards However, you pronounce that but it was something like that and he was just such an asshole to everyone, bro Keith

Blocked this kid. He went to go take a shot. He's like, oh, no one's passing me the ball Like I get to the ball. He went to go shoot Keith punched it I think he almost popped the ball. It was the greatest thing ever Send it into the uh, fucking Keep crying keep crying told on the teacher. He's like, I'm telling the teacher. He's like, I am the fucking teacher Yeah, what are you gonna tell him bitch? I am me. I'm the fucking I'm everything. I'm the the the I am the manager Yeah, what was that the the fucking judge jury and executioner motherfucker We were just blocking everyone. It was a great day. I was so tired from just destroying kids

Yeah, good for pan boobies for holding it back because if I was like a gym teacher with little kids Bro, I'm I'm sending your shit and then when you're kid when your parents are there I'm double sending your shit. Yeah, like I'm letting him know like yo, he was like good But like I'm better, you know, so like what's up? Yeah, exactly. You know, I would not be a good gym teacher You would be the best gym teacher joey. Shut the fuck. No, I would teach kids how to play or whatever But I would just get involved you would you would be like all right today. We're playing Basketball and they're like, we don't want to play but you were fucking playing basketball You're playing one on one with me. Yeah, I say you got an a in the class. You got you got a score on you

Yeah, I would just be sending shit. That would be fire. That would be so fire Dude steal the bacon Dude steal the bacon my favorite was nukem, which is a made-up game, but we played and it was the best I think it's a real game. I don't know about that there, but yeah I think uh, it was fake and we were the best people in the world Yo, do you ever stop and think that like and I know this is a heavy elementary school episode, but like who get the fuck? um, it's already demonetized uh Do you ever stop and think that like our fifth grade class was like the shit like we were like the famous kids

At that school. What are you talking about bro? We were like all of our parents were like the pta presidents and fucking treasurers and blah blah blah And like we were in like this with all the teachers like no one else had it like us and then we left and that school just sucked since It's true dawg. We were the fucking best man 2003 ps2 no one did it better than us. Was that the year? Yeah, see you were graduated fifth grade Oh, yeah, that's right 2003. Yeah Who was who was the kids? My mom wasn't there yesterday. Me, you, chelsea, laurence. Oh chelsea. Oh laurence. Megan

We had a fucking jamey. We had broke jamey. We had a fucking crew dawg Yeah, all their all their parents like worked in some capacity of the school. What's up or the pta like head honchos Yeah, you know, we were everywhere and nowhere At the same time. Yeah more nowhere than anywhere mostly. Yeah mostly, but like well school dances were fucking tight too Bro, there was no better time to run away from people and hide from girls and like have like six people dancing in the middle Yeah to the fucking cha cha slide or like the monster mash Monster mash is a banger banger named one other halloween song And not like a song that was like repurposed as a halloween song like thriller

I don't know um Dominant oh my god, I was gonna say dominic the donkey christmas frankenstein No, what that's a character Wait monster mash Do you know any There's got to be something more to spider

That we're missing here itsy bitsy spider. No, no, no not that one. Just a halloween I mean like people have taken halloween movie musicals and like said those are halloween songs like fucking hocus pocus And nightmare before christmas werewolves of london bro. That's not a christmas halloween song Uh, somebody's watching me. I always feel like that's just a weird song. Yo, holy shit. Is there not halloween songs? Look it Don't fear the reaper is a fucking halloween song. No, it's not. No, no A very good song Creep no

Monster man, bro, there's no halloween songs. There's one we need to make a base. Whoa, bro. We should make a halloween album Let's do it. Me and you baby 9500 patrons will do a song for every holiday It'll be the basement yard does the holidays Bro, that's so weird. There's got to be halloween songs I'm setting up a lot of things for this patreon here. Apparently dude Jesus, um, yeah, I think we can we can wrap it up. No halloween songs. So don't we have more ads or is that it? No, no, no Okay, I put them foot them all right there. You put them all right there right there

Well, thank you for coming and hanging out. I appreciate it. Joe. Hopefully we can have you back sometime Maybe I don't know that falvors eight zero eight five on twitter the frank alvarez on twitch and instagram If you want to come hang out with me and uh, you know, you can make sure to go follow my friend Joe here at uh, joe sanagato, or you can check out his personal website lemon party.org you can also Don't go to that No, but make sure you do check out the patreon patreon.com slash the basement yard get exclusive content and these episodes a week in advance

By signing up patreon.com slash the basement yard. We just announced 10,000 patrons joe. He's gonna vlog his uh Colonoscopy and then maybe we'll do some holiday songs for you Hell, yeah, that'll be fire. Yeah, I will You guys can go follow the show at the basement yard on tick tock and instagram and that is all see you guys next time Bye