The Basement Yard - #342 - Should We Go To A S*x Party

Episode Date: April 18, 2022

Joe and Frankie ponder the question of if they should join a s*x party. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. How's everyone doing? Me or everyone? Well, just you. I'm doing well. You're aggressively drinking coffee in the afternoon, not the morning. Bro, it's not like the afternoon. It's 1.30.

It's not 1.30. It's 1.34 PM. Stop it, Joey. OK. We're doing a bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's 5 PM. Oh.

After normal work hours. Also, people drink at 5 PM. Coffee? Yeah. Bro, that's psychotic, dude. A lot of people do a lot of coffee. Well, I think it's more other. If they're doing coffee at 5 PM, they're doing coconut.

First of all, it's totally OK to have coffee, too, like at night. Like after a dinner. There are some people that have been. An espresso. Well, that's crazy to me. Like in fucking Italy, they're like, yo, with my dessert, give me the strongest coffee you could imagine. Psychopathy.

Absolute psychosis, if you ask me. I have done the espresso after dinner before. If you're going to go out. And what do you, you stay up all night? Well, I guess. It's not like fucking that. Well, some people are very sensitive to caffeine. Personally, I am not.

Like I can have a tea in the evening, you know, like a light Oolong or something like that. But if I get like a heavy, heavy tea, I'll be fucking. I won't be able to sleep. What is heavy tea? Bro, they have teas that are pretty oxidized that'll fucking keep you up for a couple hours. Look, how many milligrams of caffeine are we talking about?

I mean, the strongest cup of tea will have like half the milligrams of a. A clurp of clerve. A clurp of curve. But, but it's still pretty fucking strong. It's also different because caffeine from coffee like hits you like a fucking like a coke binge. Like it fucking like bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

No, no, no, no. Tea like chills you out. You're like, yo, it's good. Coffee's like, oh, I mean, I like having tea before bed. It keeps you warm. You're like, but you're, you, you have chamomile tea, which is herbal, which has no caffeine. Nice.

Yeah. But I'm talking like. You want that hard. Actual tea, black tea, green tea, you know. Well, hard B. Jesus Christ. I started off with an African-American tea. Sorry.

Excuse me. Jesus. Anyway, I'm sorry. I'm just being super sensitive because I was canceled recently. You were online. Yes. I was canceled by the Swifties. Oh, that's right.

They got you. They got me. They got you. They, they, they, they love to get somebody. Yeah. I mean, this isn't my first run in with a, with a fan base. I've had a fan base run in before. With who?

The Beehive. The Beehive, or the Bayhive, isn't it? I, I don't mean any disrespect by not knowing the name. Did I just get myself in trouble? I don't know. I, it's one of those. But what was more aggressive? The, the.

Easily the Taylor Swift fans. Really? Yeah. What do they call themselves? The Swift men. The Swifties. Swifties. Not the Swift men.

I don't know. I'm thinking like. Women. Oh, men and women. To my knowledge. Wow. First of all, you see, he's attacking and assuming your gender. I'm not doing that.

It's they slash them, you should just use. So here's, here's what happened. Like I was on Twitter during the Oscars, which I didn't even know that was on. Very poorly, you know, advertised. Yeah. No one cares. Let's get into marketing team for the Oscars.

But the Oscars were on, obviously Will Smith, Slaps, fucking Chris Rock, and. Which we're not going to talk about because it's been done. It's been fucking beat to hell. Beat to the ground. It's been slapped on stage. What? But yeah, so that happened.

And I was just like tweeting shit. And I was mostly impressed with like the form of the slap. I thought the slap was like, that was like. That was a very professional looking slap. Whether you agree with the slap or not, it was an amazing slap. That's clearly someone like. Textbook slap.

Will Smith spent too much time rapping about getting jiggy with it and like, my parents just don't understand that you forgot he's from West Mother fucking Philly. Yeah, but so I had tweeted something that this is in where it gets confusing because that happened. And then I tweeted a bunch of stuff. And one of the tweets I tweeted was, was, yo, I wrote, thank God Kanye didn't slap Taylor Swift.

That's what I wrote. And then there was a reply from a Taylor Swift account that said something about me being misogynistic because I said that because they, well, because I hoped, I'm saying, thank God, a man didn't slap a woman. That's misogynistic. Yeah, I don't get that.

You're saying good. You're saying good that he didn't slap her. Did they think they were taking it as like a little, like you were being like, oh, he should have. Well, like sarcasm. Maybe. I think that maybe they thought I was being sarcastic, but like, obviously I was not saying that.

Like I was like, I'm thinking of like then the other, cause some of the other stuff that they said was like, why are you even thinking about Taylor Swift? You're trying to stay relevant. Children love saying that. First of all, you're Joe Sanagato, king of YouTube. You are relevant. No.

Second of all, if you're going to stay relevant, how are you going to do it with Taylor Swift? Obviously an icon of the pop rock genre. Bro, also one of my favorite artists. Yeah. She doesn't get, I think people are finally coming around to like stop bashing her about the whole like writing about her ex's thing.

Bro, forget about that. Right about the ex's. I'm all about a breakup. They make for good albums. They make for, they make for marriage. They do go on my Spotify and they, cause they do this thing like, there's a site that tells you like your most listened to

of all time and whatever. She's in the top five. Really? Like I love Taylor Swift. Damn, you belong with me? That's a heater. To this day, I still have it on my phone. Very good song.

You belong with me. Love story, mean, fucking the whole 1987, I think the 89, 89, 1989. I don't know. I think if you get it wrong, they're going to come for you again. Well, regardless. So they were saying a bunch of stuff about like that.

And yeah, they were going after me and they were like, you're a piece of shit. You're a misogynistic white men with podcasts and making jokes about women getting hit. And I was like, I'm saying the opposite. Like what the fuck are you guys talking about? It has been hitting a little close to home lately that people have been making the joke

about like white men with podcasts because that's you. But to their, to your defense, you were the original white man with a podcast. Well, all right. That's heavy, but. Well, 2014, not everyone had a podcast back then. I did get a pass. I did get a pass.

From, from a woman. I would say the woman who is the one who like decides. Taylor Swift hit you up? No, bro. Oh, all right. No, there's this girl on TikTok. I don't know how to pronounce her last name. So I'm not going to butcher it, but her name is Drew.

And she makes these videos basically like calling out all these dudes that have like, they say like just wild misogynistic shit on their podcast. And then she'll like stitch it and just like shit on them. And it's hilarious. And one of the things that we had talked about on this show was when that dude was like,

one of my wife gets pregnant, that bitch needs to go in the gym or whatever. So obviously that was like fucking ridiculous. Real dumb, real stupid. So we talked about that. And then that clip went viral. And then she had commented on it and it was like basically gave us a pass of like,

these guys can keep their podcast. All right. And I was like, all right, cool. Wait, she said that we can keep our podcast? Yeah, yeah. She's giving me equal amount of power and say in this situation. I think so.

I love that. But she, but yeah. So, but yeah, with the Taylor Swift thing, like it was very confusing cause I was literally just like, and then people were like, why are you even bringing that up? And to me, I was like, that's the only other time that I can remember someone storming the stage

on this stage, the stage unhinged. And like, we don't know what the fuck is going to happen. Like, and then people were like, he like, people were saying like, he didn't even have a reason to hit her. Why are you bringing this up? And I was like, yeah, exactly. Like, he never reason to be up there.

Like exactly. Like the fact that he was in that situation to begin with was enough of a red fucking, like red flag, you know what I mean? So like, he could have slapped her for all we know cause we, you know, we didn't know what was going through his head. Someone actually said to me, she was like,

if anyone deserved to be slapped, it was Kanye. I'm like, yeah, I'm not saying she just, like I'm saying the opposite guys. Don't you love when these virtue signallers are just, they have to say something in order to get in the fucking zeitgeist of being like, I, I'm saying the right thing when they're not reading what you're fucking saying at all.

Did you just say zeitgeist? Yeah, damn right I did, babe. God dude, am I on a show? When was the last time you heard that? When you're forced to put that in here? When was the last time you, yeah. Zeitgeist is, it's honestly, it's probably been like eight, nine months

since I heard that. Really? That's it? I would say, I think it would be longer from your reaction. Well, I heard it like eight, nine months ago and then before that it was years. I feel like I should write down code words every single episode and just slip them in and then to see if you can pick them out of each episode.

Like zeitgeist is one. Me and Greg do that on, on episodes of OPL that we aren't going to post that are just like not going well. So we'll try to fit in a word and be like, just cause it's like, we can't use this. What kind of episodes have been posted? Give us juicy deeds, babe.

No, it's just that like, Oh, when you- The interview is like not going well or like, you know, it's just not- Yeah, it's not driving. It's not going to make a good- Or the audio is terrible and it's like, damn. So like, we're not just going to tell one like,

we're not going to use this, but we like kind of know like, oh man, this isn't like going the way we expected. It's not like going to fit well for the show. So then we'll like continue to do the episode, but we'll try to like be like, all right, we're going to fit a, like try to fit in like- You don't think that the episode would fit well

on the zeitgeist of OPL? So the Swifties almost got you. They almost took you off the block. Yeah, they were pissed. I actually saw an Instagram account that posted it, like made a thing, like on Instagram, of like a picture of Taylor Swift and then my tweet was on top of it

and then a long fucking caption. What is it? What's the account? I want to read it. Oh, I don't know. It was in like, like it was in a different language. In Brazilian? I like-

You were going to say Brazilian. Yeah. That's not a language. It's not at all. It's Portuguese. Oh yeah, it is. But, you know, I was in a different language. That's how they would say it.

Yeah. He did it in Brazilian. So I guess you could say that? Yeah, well, absolutely. But- South America's, we all hate each other. But yeah, for anyone out there that's a fan of Taylor Swift, hey, me too, was not hoping she got-

Damn, you're trying to me too her also? No, dude! I'm a fan! And I, you know, I was glad that like in the moment that I could think of in the time that was the other moment where someone stormed the stage that Taylor Swift didn't get slapped in the face. Well, yes, thank fucking God.

We're not- That's all I was saying. Yeah, but, and obviously if people would have fucking read and forget about just reading the tweet, it's also people who need to know something about you. Like you're not like this fucking incel that's going to be sitting here and it's just like, you know who deserved a slap in the teeth?

Fucking Taylor Swift. Any woman ever. Yeah, it's like, people put no fucking effort into it and they have to just make sure they say something to show that they're on the right side of things without any fucking context or understanding of what's being said. Yeah, man.

And honestly, I think there is an epidemic of men with podcasts that for some reason, like they're all also like, I feel like from the ages of 20 to 25, which I would say when I've lived through that period, I can understand feeling like you know stuff. But from 25 to 30, where I am now, you realize guys, literally there's just some things

that just come with experience and just like life, you know? Yeah. Basically what I'm trying to say is that you're most of you are idiots. Like, and you don't know what's happening. I think anyone can have a podcast after the age of 25. I think before then. Well, I'm cool.

Can you imagine? Serious, for a second. I had one, so go ahead. No, no, no, no. I'm saying if we were fucking 15 and we had a podcast, could you fucking imagine the shit that we would have said? So it's like a fine having a podcast when guys specifically, and I don't know why this is the case,

but guys specifically talk about, like just definitively talk about how women are. It's like one, you're like one year removed from college, you don't know women as a whole. Yeah. Also, no one does. Point to where the vagina is and then I'll listen to you. Yeah, dude.

Show me where the click. Show me where that clip clop is. There was an episode of Arrested Development. I know you said you haven't watched it, but George Michael is with his girlfriend, and they're trying to become, he's running for class president, and she's saying they have their uncle, Tobias, who is the guy that wears the shorts, David Cross's character.

And they're trying to use a sexy campaign, or a sex sell slogan for George Michael running for class president. And they're like, oh, we're not afraid of sex. And he's like, oh, you're not afraid of sex? Have sex with this woman right here. Have sex right now. Go ahead, do some sex. It's so stupid, but it's so true.

No, I mean, I don't know, man. It's just so weird that people talk definitively about women in a negative connotation. It's never positive stuff. It's always like they're making these claims about women. And it's one thing to think that, but to broadcast that is very strange to me, because it's like, isn't as straight men the object to court women

and to attract them? What do you think is being done in that regard by putting them down and saying, this is what they do. They all are the same, and this and that? It's like, bro, there's so many things. I saw a guy one time who was like, yo, honestly, this is actually hilarious. But there was a guy, and this guy's in his 30s,

and he's like, I don't think that women should have an Instagram account if they're in a relationship, because that's cheating, because attention is like currency for women. And then he says this, and then he goes, especially if she has scantily clad photos. He said scantily clad. He said scantily clad.

Just take it off. Take it easy, Ben Franklin. We need to talk about scantily clad. This was some MI6. He was wearing a fucking skin suit, and it's actually a 90-year-old man in that skin. Bro, scantily clad, he said. Scantily clad women, that's it.

Rampa! Yeah, that's pretty bad. That's pretty bad. That's horrible. I feel like the podcast medium has come full circle, where us as a society have become so progressive with our thoughts and opinions, that the podcast medium has just become a hub of people trying

to be contrarian to that whole movement, where it's like they hide behind the fact that it's like, you know, and I'm not knocking Joe Rogan. He has made quite the living for himself doing what he does. And my understanding, Joe Rogan's opinions tend to be more progressive than they are anything else. But people see that Joe Rogan goes on there and says whatever the hell he wants

behind his $60 million deal with Spotify. And you're missing about $40 million. $100 million? God damn. And like they think like Joe Rogan can go out there and say what he want without being afraid of being canceled. I can too.

And it's like, hey man, no, no you fucking can't because you're an idiot and just shut up, you know? So that's what the whole podcast medium is. And I think that's why, and I don't mean to break my arm patting ourselves in the back here, but I think that we don't come on here with any sort of like, you know, agenda to try to push our opinions on anyone.

And we just kind of just say what we feel. And that's why we're so great, particularly me, you know? And why I've been such a like incredibly valuable asset to this show. Possibly I would say like 25 to 35% value of an increase in the asset like, you know, to this show. You're just gonna keep letting me talk and you're not even gonna allow yourself

to interject at any point here. What do you want me to say? Oh, you didn't, did you hear anything I said? Yeah. Do you agree? Yeah. Handshake. I actually, there's something, you okay?

Yeah, sorry. There's something that I forgot to tell you about that I had for this week that I wanted to bring up to you. And I'll ask you if you want to do it. I'll ask you if I want, if you want to do it. And if you don't, we can do it never or another week. But I found an old wrap of mine. No.

Not without hearing it. I can tell you, I remember. I know that it's probably fine. Yeah. But it's not about that. No, no, no, it's not a song. I remember the words in my head. So I can repeat it.

It's not like anyone else is on it. Why do you? Cause I just, I was playing. Wait, hold on, you were just living your life and all of a sudden you're like, I just got a 16 in my head from when I was 16. Yeah, oh yeah. Oh yeah, I remembered it in my head.

And I remember pseudo performing it for someone. What does pseudo performing mean? So me, you and somebody else. This is in your head. No, no, no, in real life. Okay. We're in, I think like 11th grade

or senior year, junior year or senior year high school. And there was a girl that I had met that I lied to about my age. And me, you and someone else hung out with her and her friend at the park. And we were like, yeah, we write raps. What? Wait, who was it?

I'm not, I'm not giving names. Not even a first? No. Oh, like a hint or something? I need something. I don't know how to give you a hint. Text it, text it to me. I'm gonna text it to you right now.

Oh my God, I need to know who this is. Wait, and you said we write raps. I was like, yeah, we, you know, we, we spit some bars. Cause we were spitting bars at the time. Oh yeah. And, you know, Oh my God, I need to know what this is. Yep.

Yeah. That's who I thought it was. Okay, good. But then you said hung out at the park and I was like, what? Yeah. We were at the park and I remember she was like, all right, like spit something real quick.

And you spit. And I spit. So I want you to give me an honest rating of my, of my verse. You're gonna do it. I'm gonna go with line by line. Okay. You're gonna spit.

I'm gonna spit. All right. So I'll give you the, you know, each like the two bars, you know? Okay. By the way, how do we count bars? Not on this show. Okay.

I don't know. All right. You can't see me. You're just not in my division. Whether it comes to the spitting, the freestyle or written. Not bad. That right there. Not bad.

One more question. Sorry. You know what? One more time. No, no, no, different. Go forward. Okay. I'm gonna keep going.

Yeah. Okay. So I'll start again. You can't see me. You're just not in my division. Whether it comes to spitting, the freestyle or written. I'm burning up like the oven in your kitchen and I'll slice you and dice you just like I'm Freddie Kruger

killing. Okay. Now, now the only thing that I can think of right now is like, how old did this girl think you were? 20. The latest. 20. Wait, how old were we?

Like 17. Okay. Now, we're at the park. And it was at night. We're in the night park. We're in the night park. We're in the night park. We're in the night park.

And sitting at those old chess tables. You know which ones I'm talking about. Yeah, I do. Yeah. Yeah. I think like old men died at that chess table. Yeah, it definitely did. If not, they're the botchy board.

The botchy. Yeah. The downy men died there. So you're sitting at a concrete chess table. There's five of us. Me, you, another friend of ours. All of these people are remaining nameless because I don't know what kind of damage it'll do.

Yeah. That girl. That girl. And then one of her friends. Right. Who I think our other friend was trying to court. All of us appropriately clad. Yes.

No scant. I don't even know what is clad. I know what it is. I think it's like, like, garnished. You know, like, like, robed. Like a salad. Dressed. Garnished.

Yeah, like an appropriately clad salad. Right amount of dressing and croutons and shit. This salad is properly clad. This is one scantily clad salad. Scantily clad. Where the hell? Where the hell's all the dressing? Where's all this dressing?

A salad with no dressing. This salad is scantily clad. Get this out of my face. Disgusting. OK. OK. I just wanted to set the setting, but OK. Is there more?

Yes, there is more. Oh. So I'll slice you and dice you. Freddy Krueger killing. Freddy Krueger killing. Yeah. Anything I do, I do it for the girlies. Oh.

Because when I bag these women, I go perfect like Burley. That's Mark Burley. Chicago White Sox pitcher through a perfect game that year, I think. Wow. OK, that's pretty good. This is the best part. I was like, Burley.

I was like, yeah, yeah, this is the best part. Oh. All right. Again, years ago, guys, I'm a happily married man now. Oh my god. This is going to be good. Bring them back to the crib in 10 minutes they kneeling, face down screaming with their ass to the ceiling.

17-year-old Frank. What's up? 10 minutes. By the way, that wouldn't happen to never. First of all, 10 minutes. I like I like to think, you know what's funny about that? Like, you think rappers is like, oh. Right away.

Right away. Automatically. You've got a 10 minute window. It's like, it still takes me 10 minutes. But that's pretty good. Like, it's a fake scenario where you're trying to make it. I talked to them a little bit about their day. Yeah, you know, how's everything going?

You want some what exactly, you know? Set the mood a little bit, 10 minutes, face down screaming with their ass to the ceiling. Ass to the ceiling. Well, no, excuse me. In 10 minutes they kneeling. Blow jobs. Ass to the ceiling.

Face down screaming with their ass to the ceiling. Right, which is. Face down ass up. Yeah, it could be a very popular. I would hope it's sex. What else would it be? And it could be vaginal or anal sex. Oh, well, that was not specified.

Well, the screaming, I would, you know. Yeah, well, we didn't. I'm just saying. I tiger would these beats. I give them numbers, then I fuck them. Hold on. You tiger would these beats? You give them numbers and then you fuck them.

What does target woods do? That's that. You don't remember when he got in trouble because he had like numbered mistresses? Like number six, number eight. So you know, I might be actually very specifically pinpointing when this happened. Mark Burley.

Tiger Woods. There's another. There's another line here that might help narrow it down. Oh, cool. So I tiger would these beats. I give them numbers, then I fuck them. Yeah. Stay committed to the game.

All these tracks, I love them. Oh, that's good. You should stay committed. Yeah. Sly is a motherfucker. Oh, smooth like Neo. Like Neo. Smooth like Neo.

Yeah, yeah. Bald, so sick Neo. Hey, careful. He might be bald. He's pretty smooth, OK? I mean, he's, you know. No, no, no. Pretty smooth.

He was smooth. What is he now? I haven't seen him. I haven't seen him. What was the last thing Neo did? I saw a video of him playing basketball with Chris Brown. That's the last. Yikes.

Yeah, that was like 10 years ago. Yikes. Yeah. Smooth like Neo. No hood rats. I drop all the pops like Castillo. Louis, not Luis Castillo? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dropping the pop fly against the Yankees. A-Rod came around and scored. Bro. I figured out when I wrote this. What year was that? I don't know. I'm thinking like 2007, 2008. Maybe, look it up.

Specified Perfect Game by Mark Burley. That'll help. Louis Castillo drop. 2009. Oh, yikes. Yeah, 2009. How old were we? 16.

16 or 17. Yeah, 17, 17. Well, I mean, you were 17 in February, but I think it was like early on in the year. I could be wrong, but. Dude, that's unbelievable. That was the whole thing? No.

Pop like Castillo. Yeah. I'll ease down a bit and let this shit just settle. Fired up enough to pop a couple kettles. Yeah. You toy-ass losers to the hood, you are strangers. Oh my god, toy. I forgot that was a thing.

You mad toy. I've changed the game since the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. You just had to sneak in the fucking Power Rangers, dude. He just had to. I've been dealing with this my whole life, clearly. And this was that he was 16, rapping about fucking bitches or whatever, and he had to put in the Power Rangers. And now he's 30, and he's buying megazords.

It doesn't end. I wasn't fucking anyone. I had them 10 minutes kneeling. 10 minutes in, and their ass was screaming towards the ceiling or whatever the fuck. My asshole is screaming right now. Oh god. What was the last line I said?

Oh, I changed the game since the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Yeah. That's it. I think that's it. I have to do it in my head again. And so you did this whole thing for her, and then what did she say? Did she go, that's tight.

What did they say back in 2009, like saucy? Saucy, no one said that. Tiger, would these be the game or not? So high as a motherfucker, smooth like Neo, no hood rats. I drop all the pops like Castillo. That's kind of not bad, dude. It's not terrible. It could have been worse, but it's just funny to imagine

you being 16 and also rapping this in the park to a girl. Yeah, that's all I remember at this point. But I was playing video games, and that came to me, and I was like, wow, I remembered it. I was like, yo, like, that's awful. God, that sucks, dude. That sucks, because who the fuck stay committed to the game? What game?

The game. What game? The game. There was no game. I mean, it's the game of rap. Let me tell you this, didn't murder beats. Well, no, you didn't say you murdered them. You number them and fuck them.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Clearly, you were doing. They were numbered and fucked. They were numbered appropriately fucked. Appropriately fucked. But yeah, I remembered that, and I had to bring that. And she was like, Dan, that was a high. She was like, I forgot what people said in 2009.

I don't know. But saucy was like, we're going to drink. You know, like, we're going to get sauce or smacked. Smacked, zooted. Zooted. Yeah, zooted. So she was probably something like, yo, like, that's height. Yeah, that's height.

That's height. And it didn't work. I don't think she was very interested in me after that day. Did you ever hook up with that girl? No. I do remember meeting them and lying to them immediately. I do remember that. Yes, yeah.

Well, we were underage in a bond, right? Well, I met her because it was the night of like. Careful. I met her because it was a night of Floyd Mayweather boxing. What the? Was it Sugar Chain Mosley? OK.

We watched it at one of our friends' place. Yes. She was there? No. We left. And I was dared to go steal porn magazine, which I did. And then I went into like Dipmar Station, the bar, by myself.

And she was there. And I just started talking to her. And she was like, how old are you? I was like, I'm only 20. I was a lot younger than that. Yeah, you were. Yeah. I do remember that.

I remember at one point, it was me and you, and then her and her friend. And at that point, I wasn't privy to the lie yet. Yeah. And so she had to grow it up. You were like, I got to go study for my PSAT. No. But she had mentioned something about you being 20.

And then that's when it hit me. And I was just like, oh. I was like, oh, OK. You were in on the scam. I was like, well, we're here. And where are we going to go? Like, you know, like. And at that point, I was like, let's find out.

What else do we have? That's a real friend of you. That's an absolutely real friend of you. Thank you for not blowing my cover. Hey, you know, I wasn't going to do that. I remember, I believe the cover was blown because one of her friends, like, knew. She like knew your sister.

She knew my sister and her friends and came to one of our house parties. And we all hid in the basement. And I was like, well. And there was pictures of me on the wall. And I said, 2008, congrats. Congrats from fucking 10th grade. You're just like, wait, hold on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think that was the end of that scam. Yeah, you're not Angel Rivera or whatever. Damn, that's right. That was my fake ID. Angel Rivera. Angel Rivera was found on the counter of a deli. And people had fake IDs that said they were 21.

Mine said I was 28. I had used Thomas's. So I was, I think his said he was 27. Thomas is six years older than you, right? Eight. Oh, wow. I think. Wait, no, that might be.

He's 86. 84. Oh, so eight. Yeah, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Yeah, I was a fucking 19-year-old walking around with a 28-year-old's ID. I remember we went to McCann's and he got stolen. Bouncer took it.

And that was, I had used it millions of times before then with no issues. And it was the year I was going to turn 21 that happened. I don't remember. Because I remember I tried to take, Nick said he would give me his ID. And I was like, I'm just going to just write it out until. I think you called your sister and like,

can you get my ID back? And then you didn't. It was a big Asian bouncer too. And he was like, bro, this isn't you. It's like, yeah. And I was like, yo, you can't take my ID. He's like, all right, call the cops. I was like, I will.

Good move. I will. You son of a bitch. Smart. Yeah. Yeah. All right, let's get to these first ads here. You should.

Then we'll pop into something else. The first one being liquid IV. If you guys want to stay hydrated and also protect yourself in your immune system and bolster it with that, liquid IV has got you covered. Because they have these little packets. You put them in a glass of water and it helps you. It's got CTT, which is cellular transport technology

or something like that. And it hydrates you quicker than water does. Three times faster, actually. And three times the electrolytes of traditional sports drinks and contains five essential vitamins, B3, B5, B6, B12, and vitamin C. I know you guys don't even know what the hell it is. No one does, except scientists.

But I'm telling you, these are all good things for you. But they're great. And also, they are charitable. They're on a mission to change the world. They have donated over 20 million servings globally. I have a ton of it. I give it away all the time. And I just still have a ton of liquid IV.

It's amazing. I have them all the time. And I have to say, we recently got back from a bachelor party. And let me tell you right now, liquid IV basically saved and kept us hydrated that entire trip. So I cannot speak. We had the lemon lime. And boy, oh boy, let me tell you something.

Some of these drinks that you get sometimes, they don't taste delicious while they're doing good stuff for you at Liquid IV. Got both of that for you, baby. Amazing. And also, you can grab Liquid IV in bulk at nationwide.cosco. Or, which is where I suggest you do, you can get 25% off when you go to liquidiv.com

and use the code BASEMENT at checkout. 25% off. That's pretty good. That's a quarter. That's a quarter, guys. 25% off anything you order when you use the promo code BASEMENT at liquidiv.com. All right, go.

Go get it. Trust me. Try it. It's amazing. I swear by it. Everyone I know loves it as well. Next here, summer's coming up. We got FitBot, baby.

FitBot, it's a workout program. Frankie does FitBot. And they use an algorithm to make sure that you are getting your gains properly. Because what a lot of people do is they find, he's got the app open right now. Frankie's got the app open right now. But you can access your personalized routine

on an easy-to-use mobile app that you just saw. And you can start making progress on your goals whenever you like. It's 24-7 access to a personal trainer, basically. They have videos of how to do certain things. And also, they use, like I said, their algorithm to make sure you're building off of your last workout. And if you just follow any old program,

it's not the optimal way to gain muscle or do whatever you want. Also, what do you want to do? You want to gain muscle. You want to lose weight. You want to do what do you want to do? And they will help you do that in any way possible. And it's great because you don't even need weights. If you want to do body weight stuff,

they also have a program for that. It also integrates with your Apple Watch or Strava or Apple Health or Fitbit, whatever. It's great. Get 25% off your subscription or try out the app for free when you sign up at fitbot.me slash basement. That is 25, another quarter, percent off your subscription when you sign up today at fitbot.me slash basement.

Go get to it, folks. All right. And now we can move forward a little bit. Yeah, we can. Yeah, but you were starting to tell me something about an interesting story about something that I think we all kind of were guessing would happen, but there was some confirmation, I guess, from someone.

You said some Republican, about a Republican origin. Yes, yes, so. You say the words Republican origin, I'm listening. You're just, I had you at Republican origin. You did. Or what was it? Renee Zellweger had Tom Cruise at hello. Or he had heard hello.

What is it? Where it's like you had me at hello. Oh, I don't know. I think it's Scientology when you say Tom Cruise. And they have you before you say hello. They have you as soon as you look their way. Yeah, exactly. No, but there was a Republican senator, I believe,

or a member of Congress. I don't know. They're the same to me. Someone who wears suits. Yeah, and believes that there are two genders. And so he came out and said that he was invited to an orgy of Republican senators where they were just fucking doing lines of coke

and just doing big old gang bang sex. With hookers? I assume with women of the night. I was like creatures of the night. Oh. Dude, take it easy. The Swifties are coming for me now. Yeah, so women of the night.

Women of the night. They were, and that was the part that got me. Because not only was he invited, he fucking went. Because he was like, oh yeah, they were doing coke at this party and stuff like that. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. If any of these Mitch McConnell, Lindsey Graham looking motherfuckers come up to me and say, hey, listen up,

orgy did not at our place. I'm gonna say, no, thank you. Yeah, I'm not trying to see Lindsey Graham's piece. I'm gonna tell everyone that I know about the fact that I was invited, but he went. Yeah, I pulled up an article right now and it says that he's getting some backlash because he says, it's actually kind of interesting

because you would think that someone wouldn't out their own party and be like, yo, guys are fucking banging hooks. All I'm gonna say is, oh, he's in a wheelchair. Yeah, that's the craziest part. Dude, wheelchair orgy? That's kind of fire. Not a lot of room, you gotta assume, though.

I mean, I think he'll make do. Wait, what the? Oh, never mind. Madison Cawthorne was his name. And I'm just, the part that gets me is like, we always hear these stories about these Republicans and we're like, oh my God, we hate them so much. Or like, politicians in particular.

Let's not just narrow it down to Republicans. But like, for a second, Joe, if you heard that a local congressman was just having just big old gang bangs in his place and just partying it up, wouldn't it kind of make you want to vote for him more? Make him a little more cool? I think politicians need to be cooler.

I agree. And outwardly cool. And one of the ways to do that. Dude, if you're gonna bang hooks and do coax, do it and be cool about it. And just be like, it was my birthday, dude. Like, just say that. And I'd be like, yo, listen.

Listen, you know, like, it was his birthday. If they were just like, listen. If it's in your birthday month, you should be able to do that. If, listen, if, when Clinton had been, you know, outed basically for everything going on with Lewinsky. If he'd just come out and he'd just go, Vegas. We would all be like, all right.

Okay. I mean, there's other undertones there that are, you know, the power thing. Yeah, but none of his fucking kids shit. Cause I- Oh, well, yeah. No, that's a problem. That, you know, we're all- If Epstein came out and he was just like, Mardi Gras, man.

We'd be like, whoa, whoa, whoa. It was like, not you though. No, don't tone. Not you, bro. None of your friends. You're not allowed to come in here and make that joke. No, no, no, no. But yeah, wouldn't that make them like,

if they were just like honest, cause I think that's one of the issues that people have with politicians is that they try to live a normal life behind closed doors. And like they're like outwardly, they're these fucking prim and proper, you know, fucking robots that no one can relate to. And it's like, dude,

if you just kind of just showed us that you're a real person every now and then maybe we wouldn't be so upset when you get in trouble for banging 800 people in a bedroom. Yeah. Like I'm assuming they're like having like stacked sex, meaning like multiple people stacked up and then having sex with them. Is that a thing?

I just, yeah, it is. Is it? Stacked sex is like, it's like lungeable sex. He goes, and this is not something that is news to anybody. Come on, don't be naive. But he said that the sexual perversion that goes on in Washington,

I mean being kind of a young guy in Washington average age is probably 60 or 70. I look at a lot of these people, a lot of them I've looked up to through my life. I've always paid attention to politics. Then all of a sudden you get invited to, oh, hey, we're going to have a sexual get-together at one of our homes.

You should come. Damn, sexual get-together? I've never heard that. Were there any scantily clad people there? I would assume everyone was scantily clad. There was no clad. Zero clad. There was, yeah.

There was scant. Absently clad people. And then he's like, what did you just ask me to come to? And then you realize they're asking you to come to an orgy. The Republican lawmaker also said that some of the people who are leading the movement to try and remove addiction in our county have just done a key bump of cocaine right in front of me.

I mean, that's the world, baby. That's the world. Bro. Sometimes you got to sniff a little yay. Not me, but you know. There's 2009, Joe. I know he would come out. Sniff a little yay.

Sniff a little yay, yo. A little white, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, no, I mean this doesn't surprise us in the slightest, but the part that gets me is that they think that us knowing this stuff would make us not like them more when the reality is like. I assume all of this already.

Bro, Trump was out there getting spanked, allegedly, spanked with his own fucking magazine and people were like, yo, that is my president. Yeah. And it's like, people stop trying to be like these prim and proper robots. I assume. Break down a little bit.

Anyone who has any, if you're the CEO of Fortune 500 Company, or if you're a very high up politician, I assume that you are hiring hooks to put candles in your ass and burn you and stuff. Bro, it's some eyes wide shut shit. Like it's definitely happening. You go up to the penthouse of the MetLife building

and everyone's getting blown and they're all 70. I don't know about that. I don't think, I think it's just dead bodies up there. I think that's probably where they start. Who's gonna go up there and look, dude? Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, who's gonna go? Let me haul my ass up to the top of the MetLife building

and look for people. The commissioner of the NYPD is just like, fucking, you know what I'm saying? Like, it could be stuff. Swifty's got you first. Don't you dare go after the police. I'm not going at the police. Fuck you up, dude.

No, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not gonna get you. They're gonna get you. No, but you're right. I'm saying these people though, you know, like, or like the DA's office, like there's someone in there who's probably fucking mad. Bro, if you don't think that this is happening

in every large organization, every Fortune 500 company, I'm pretty sure like up until like 2005, they had like a line item on their expenses that was probably just for big ol' orgies. Yeah. And like, just celebrate it, babe. Just for ojobs. Just for, what was that?

Ojobs? Okay, I don't want to know what it is. It's an orgy job. Oh, this is a oral job. Oh no, that's just a beach. Too many acronyms. There's a lot. But I will say this.

Say it. I'm already under the assumption that politicians are freaks. Right? Yeah, absolutely. We all are. Scantily clad. Scantily clad freaks.

We're all freaks, just matter what we're freaks for. And honestly, freak it up. Go nuts. I think you should freak. I think everyone should be allowed to freak. But the one big negative I see from this, bro, you're snitching. What the hell?

You're sexual snitching? That's foul. Dude, get on the block, man. He's trying to out everyone. You're just being like, yo, this old guy who's like doing good stuff, guess what? Likes to get sucked by hooks. I mean, listen.

Bro, let the man get sucked by a hook. You could also probably draw the line at dat, you know, and the use of dat. But agree. If this guy wants to have a word, I don't think there's anything against the law. To orgy. To orge.

Orge it up. Well, the payment is the problem. Yeah, the hooks, yeah. But if you're just like, yo, me and Joey, like, wait a minute, you and him. You and him. Who's him? Exactly.

Him? Or just him? The big H. No, not cap or H. You're having a Joe or a Georgie with a big old guy upstairs. No, no, that can't happen. And, but like, I don't think there's anything wrong

with just like sex. What do they call them? Key parties. Bro, they were having key parties all the time. They were doing it in the Grinch, dog. People were having key parties all over the place. I never realized that. Bro, they're having key parties in the Grinch.

So if you guys don't know that scene in the Grinch, the mum and Jim Carrey, like everyone's throwing their keys in the bowl, they want you to believe that it's like, oh, cause no one's gonna drive, but really what it is. Oh, they're gonna drive each other's butts into the ground, dude.

They're gonna drive their fucking penises in each other's mouths. Because what happens is you take the keys and you swish them around, you pull the keys out, whoever keys you have, you're going home with them and you're fucking the brains. I went to a somewhat themed party like that.

No sex. You went to a Swedish party? No, no, no. It was an event in college and the men wore ties. Yeah. And you put your tie into something and the people pick a tie out and that's who you learn how to ballroom dance with.

That's your ballroom dancing partner. So I went to- That's what they're calling it. No, it was, it was ballroom dancing. Like- I'll show you a ballroom. It was legitimately ballroom dancing, but- Oh, it was sick college experience.

Ballroom dancing. You're just like, where are you going Friday? Yes. Ballroom dancing. The quad to two step. Yeah, man. Why are you out in these people? If they like a little orgy, let them go with an orgy.

If there's like under it, like we're talking about like Jeffrey Epstein. If it's illegal, then we go to, we show up. If we kill everyone. If there is any exchange of goods, a quid pro quo, a this for that, then we got a fat old problem. I'm cool with people doing drugs and banging hooks. Well, no, hooks implies that there is an exchange of goods.

That's a league, babe. Yeah, but I'm okay with that. If it's just like, yo, you and your best friends all, like, yo, if us and all of our best friends decided we're just going to do an orgy, not illegal with that. Well, yeah. No, no, no, no, orgy's are- Cool.

Yeah. I guess. Well, yeah, I'm not an orgy guy. I'm not an orgy guy either, but like, I'm allowing other people to be orgy guys. Yeah, for sure. I'm cool with it. Do your thing.

Not me. I might even show up. That'd be too much for me. Would you ever go to a sex party where you're wearing masks and you just like show people your fucking? No, no, no, no, no. Dude, I would definitely go. No.

What? Just like chill. Just what? No, you'd have to be there to fuck. No, you, first of all, you don't know the rules. First of all, I don't, but I've seen Bruno and I think I understand how sex party works. Yeah, let's base that off of that.

All I'm saying is this, if there was a party where I can show up and I'm wearing one of those like, you know, masks that cover like half my face and there's feathers and shit. And it's like the big, the Mardi Gras. Back to Mardi Gras. I'm wearing a suit, right? And I show up and then there's people getting blown

on the couch and I can just sit there with a Moscow mule and be like, this is fire. And then leave and go home and not fucking. Nah, I would feel uncomfortable. I don't know why. I would too, but it would be a story thing. I feel like I would be in like a quarantine zone. Like there's shit in the air and stuff

that I shouldn't be breathing in unless I'm a part of it. It's like coal miners. I don't need to be in a coal mine unless I'm doing the mining, you know? If anyone runs a sex party, like a real one, not one in like fucking Omaha or something. Well, they had one in his story that got raided, remember? That's true.

They did. That was a swingers bar. That was a swingers bar and there's too much pressure there. Why? Because then you got to bring a partner. So you want to go very, very misogynistic of you, Joe. You don't want to... No, I just want to view.

I just want to view. I just want to watch. You just want to watch? I don't want to watch. I would watch. First of all, I'm sure there's going to be multiple people hitting you up after this saying like, hey, we have Zoom. What do you do on Tuesday night?

Oh, I don't want to do that. You don't want to watch on Zoom? No, no, no, no, no. You're going to get an offer or two. I want to go somewhere where there's a bartender and like, this is all happening, but it's like, okay. Bro, you're going to tell me. All right, here we go.

There's a bartender? You're going to tell me if I'm like, yo, I'll send you a like a fucking care package of drinks and just join the Zoom link at eight PM and you'll be able to see whatever happens. What kind of drinks? No, I wouldn't do that. Like a little bit of everything.

A bottle of wine, a bottle of whiskey, a couple of beers. Let's just be clear here. I don't have a kink nor do I have an interest in watching other people have sex in person. What I am saying though is that if there was like an event where that would happen, like I would go because it's a funny story. Like it would make for a great party.

So why don't you go? Because I'm not tapped in. That's your homework for next episode, babe. Clearly, you know what? In order to make this happen, I have to then become a Republican congressman and get invited. That'd be a cool one.

You're white and you're wealthy. You're already on your way, Joey. You're already halfway there, if not more. No, I mean, no. I would go and like experience what's going on. Bro, I'm letting you know right now. I wouldn't be able to have like, so I wouldn't be able to do so.

You wouldn't be able to partake. Yeah, I can't. I wouldn't be able. I would be very uncomfortable in that situation. I would also like to go to one of those places and this is actually kind of why I started The Sands. Uh-oh, yes, yes. I love when you back yourself into a corner.

You know those places that are like, I actually don't know how I feel about this. But if you go to a place. You'd be in a complete 180 and you're like, I would love to, wait a second. Cause then I started thinking about it and I was like, I actually don't know if I would like this. But if you, you know how like there's some places

where it's like the table is just like a naked woman. And you eat sushi off of them? Yeah. Fuck. I would be uncomfortable. It's an experience. I would be uncomfortable. I would too, but it's funny.

You're gonna, you know what's funny? You're gonna be there soon. Like I can imagine in like four or five weeks, you're like, yeah, I went to a restaurant, Michelin Star, ate a California roll off a nipple. Yeah, well, yeah, yeah, yeah. People are deaf, bro. You're, you don't realize how close you are

to these things until we live in New York city. If they're happening anywhere, they're happening here. Yeah. Okay. Or Vegas. The higher up in an elevator you go, the closer you get. Absolutely. Absolutely. The more inconspicuous the fucking door is to the place.

You know, you're, you're, you're on your way. I did one time go to a restaurant and I felt like, I feel like they're like. Cart out of a person. Yeah. Like there's something's gonna happen in here. I watched a movie recently called fresh where it's on Hulu. You should watch it.

It's not a spoiler. It's in the trailers, but the guy cuts up women's body parts and sells the meat. Fire. For like $30,000 a steak. And it'll be like, what are you, what's on the menu today? Like I mean, tonight, tonight I'm eating a 29 year old swish, swish, swish, Swedish woman's boom.

D cup. And like, it's like cooked. Fire though. I mean, is that, that's illegal. Yeah. Duh. Yeah. We snitch on that. Duh. We snitch on illegal stuff. But the, the illegal stuff that we can,

we can not stitch on is hooks and, and, and drugs. No, no, no. Not that I. Hooks, hooks are illegal. As of right now, the writing of the law states that hooks are illegal. Sure. But I'm okay with that. Oh, so you're okay with the legality as long as you're benefiting from it.

No, I'm not benefiting from it. You're going to be, you're going to be cranking hooks all day. No, I've never hired hook. Oh, you never, you never got the hook. No, no, never, never captain hooked. I've never done that. And I've also, I don't do drugs. So that's another thing.

But I'm okay with people. Yeah. I'm not going to get into drugs. But I am okay with other people doing that. I'm not. It besides like insane, like opiates. I'm not. What was that?

I'm taking a stand. Oh, I thought that was a pledge of allegiance. And that's how I take a stand. One nation under God. For, for Republic for which it stands. I don't even remember the pledge of allegiance. I pledge of allegiance. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't.

You don't want me to. I pledge allegiance. I remember how it goes. You can't see me. You're just not in my division. Whether it comes to spit in the freestyle or written. Freddie Kruger killing. Real quick, let's get to these ads

and then we'll move forward with the sex parties. Say something I can't have to be the last word that. Okay. But guys, before we get to these next round of ads, make sure you go to patreon.com slash the basement yard. Guess what? We did it. We got over 10,000 patrons.

And as promised, our patrons, I am begrudgingly saying this, are going to be getting a live view of me getting a Brazilian wax. Some poor soul is gonna have to wax and tear my body below the waist. So thank you to all you guys that got us over 10,000. We wanna obviously continue to strive to get over that.

And we're trying to figure out what we're gonna do for 11,000. Maybe Joey's gonna go to a sex party and report back on it. We don't know. Hey, I would do it. Oh! But I'm not gonna bang anyone.

No, no, no, just watch. Yeah. Oh, I literally just said I would do that. 11,000 patrons? Wait, this is not like a... I'm asking you right now for 11,000 patrons. But either way, we'll come up with it. Go to patreon.com slash the basement yard.

That first tier, you get these weekly episodes a week in advance. And that next tier up, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday where you can watch the basement yard at the beginning of the week and the end of the week. patreon.com slash the basement yard. Okay, let's get to the ad before I get into that.

The one we have here is Stitch Fix. Stitch Fix is like having your own personal stylist. All right, if you're just very busy, you don't have a lot of time to shop or online shop or any of that. Stitch Fix has you covered. You go onto their site, you take their style quiz and they can learn your preferences.

So like your sizes and what kind of patterns you like, what kind of clothes you like. And once they know what generally you enjoy, like colors and your fits and price ranges or whatever, they will pick things out for you on a monthly basis and then you get to have new clothes. And you only have to pay for what you keep also. But it's great.

Like I said, also your style isn't one size fits all. Like some things fit differently with other things. Like maybe you like a looser fit, but your size, like you would wear a medium and one brand large and another. They will help you with that sort of thing. But it's great. It's an awesome thing if you want to have new clothes

and get into fashion or whatever, this is how you do it. Get started today by filling out your free style quiz at stitchfix.com slash basement and take the advantage of free shipping and returns. That's stitchfix.com slash basement to try it. Stitchfix.com slash basement. So go check it out, go get fresh with Stitch Fix.

And lastly here we have True Build. True Build is the new app that's going to help you save money by canceling the subscriptions that you don't even know you're paying for. We all sign up for free trials and then we forget to cancel them or we had this thing that we were using like a year ago that we don't even realize

we're paying for still, that number adds up. And believe it or not, people are saving up to $720 a year by using True Build because this is able to identify those subscriptions and the things that you are paying for that you don't want to pay for and you're able to cancel them through True Build. So it's saving a lot of people money and $720,

that's a lot of money and that's just the average. So you could be saving thousands, honestly, depending on what kind of person you are. If you love free trials and you're forgetful, there's probably a lot of money that you're missing out on. It has saved two million users over $100 million, okay? So that's a lot. So yeah, go check them out.

Don't fall for the subscription scams. Start cancelling today at truebuild.com slash basement. Again, that is truebuild.com slash basement. Like I said, could save you thousands of dollars every year. So go check them out guys, True Build. But yeah, as far as like the sex party thing, I'm shocked that you wouldn't like go to that. No, I don't have, I just,

I feel very uncomfortable in that situation. It's not something I'd want to see. It's, I don't know how else to explain it. Like I'm not... It would be like when I went to the box, you know? That's different, debauchery. That's, yeah, that's debauchery. Because you're like, well, I guess, yeah,

no, if I knew someone was coming out and fucking throwing dildos in themselves, I don't think I'd want to be there for it either. Yeah, so I got bang his ass with a dildo. No, definitely don't need that. Yeah, it was an interesting experience. I also, when I first walked in, I didn't know where I was going.

I didn't know anything about this place. And there was a woman... Isn't it like $10,000 a ticket? No. To get in? I would say if you're gonna go with a group of four, you're probably gonna spend anywhere from $500 to $700 a person.

Oh, I thought you said it was like, like a ridiculous amount per person. That seems like a lot for a night. Bro, but if you can go, if you can afford to go, that's nothing. I mean, that's a lot of money still. But yeah, it's not like a cheap thing. Like you're...

And then you have to drink when you're in there and that's probably another fucking $300. I believe the last time I looked, it was like $2,000 for a table of four. And that comes with like probably a bottle, but you're gonna drink more than that. So you're gonna spend more than that. And then like a tip or whatever.

So it's like, it's a lot of money. Yeah, no thank you, no thank you. But it's a show. And it's like... I mean, it sounds like it was a show. Yeah, it was. I don't know how a woman... It's like voyeurism.

I don't think that's like cool. Well, I'm not into that of like watching people do whatever, but I do think it is interesting to... It makes me feel like I'm living in like the gangs of New York times where like they would just kill people in the street and no one would even bat an eye and then these people are fucking and like...

It's just like, it's psycho. So I don't know, it just felt funny. So for 11,000 patrons, are you gonna go to one of these places? Yeah, I will go to the box without... But yeah, I will do that. For 11,000 patrons? I will, yeah, I will sleep there if I can.

Like whatever you want, I'll miss that place. Well, you're too eager to go. All right, 11,000 patrons, you go as a performer at the box. Well, I don't think... Probably there's tryouts that I would not make. I would get caught. I can almost guarantee that if you said, I would like to be involved, they would say, come on up.

No, I mean, I would definitely go to that. But like also, I know there is a thing that exists because I've seen it, and it is like a sex party thing, but it's like a member, like you can only go if... You're invited? By a member. Is it like that fucking like, what's that rich person dating app?

What? There's a rich person dating app that you need to get invited to in New York, isn't there? J-Day? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Boy, oh boy. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. That was good.

Raya, Raya. Okay, yeah. It's like that. Like you can only go if like someone patches for you, like they're cool, like they're good. Um, I guess, yeah. No, but this one, I remember it's like, a member has to either invite or something like that.

Bro, your DMs are gonna be a wild place after this episode goes live. I'm telling you right now. I don't wanna go to your sex party, that's, you know. Bro, if J-Lo hit you up and was like, yo, you wanna watch my sex party? Yeah. You, I'm like, yes.

Who would say no to that? I'm just, I'm throwing, but like, it's like J-Lo and like the cast of Friends, the guys. Yeah, what? Matthew Perry, David Schwimmer. Yeah, that would be interesting. What's his name, Joey? Matt LeBlanc.

Yeah. It's J-Lo just getting train run on her by the fucking friends at Central Perk. I would pay $2,000 to see that. The fuck? That's like a memory that would last forever. All of these things are for the story. I guess.

It's not like- Everything you do now is for the podcast. Yeah. Continue to deny me a living wage. I don't have to, I don't have the like, the desire to go to these things because it's like a turn on or because of anything other than like,

it would just be funny to say that I've done that. Good, fair. It's a cool experience. That's what I was hoping for. Because if you were like, you're like, yo, I'm actually- I'm horny for watching this. If you were like, yo, to get off,

you went to one of these things. That would be a little concerned as your friend. It's literally like, I'll go and like do whatever and like, but you experience- Do whatever? No, like, I'll experience these things, but if I, I'm not gonna partake. You'll be there.

I have no desire to like, fuck in front of like a room full of random people. Yeah, no. Wearing bird masks. That like gives me anxiety thinking about that. Yeah, I mean, you gotta, yeah. And also, I don't know, bro. I just can't, no, that's a lot.

Good for you. But we'll figure it out. 11,000, no, but we're back. 11,000, that'd be pretty nice. I'm getting my fucking asshole torn to shreds for 10,000. You might as well go and enjoy a night out for 11. Jesus Christ. You guys, now do you understand?

Do you understand the hierarchy of power in this room? Oh my God. You should come. No, I'm okay, dude. To the box? I can't like, I can't stay, bro, when we went to Tom Segura, I almost didn't make it home

because I almost did a die on the parkway. What does that mean? Dead, I almost did a dead. Why? Bro, I was exhausted. Oh, bro, come on. It's one night. Bro, I guess I can't do this shit no more.

I'm pretty sure this place opens at midnight, by the way. Also, I have no desire to watch someone go on a stage and fuck themselves with a dildo. Bro. Man or woman. You think? On paper? That doesn't sound cool.

I'll tell you right now. They also play really good music. Okay, hold on. What kind? Just like, just. No, yeah. No, no, no, no. Not like, no.

What? They play like hip hop and shit. Like what? Like fucking, I don't know. Like if I go in there, am I gonna hear like some, some biggie? 100%. Am I gonna hear some?

You might hear, like you might hear stunt one on one. Hold on a second. Yeah, exactly. Any place that plays that, I don't care what they say. I swear to God, I recently said to you like, how nuts would you have when they played stunt one on one? If I'm out somewhere and stunt one on one comes on. I love that place.

A G unit classic. If there's stunt one on one playing at the Republican orgy, I will be pro life right now. Oh. Oh. Oh. Your face, you went, oh. Holy shit, dude.

That was, boy. It's just a good song. Thank God we're a little farther away from the ads. Yay. Yeah. All right, let's get into it. Oh, boy. Who's coming for you next?

If it's not the Swifties that are gonna get you this time. It's the Planned Parenthood. It's the police union. And then it's, Planned Parenthood. Planned Parenthood is gonna get you. Westboro Baptist Church will be like, yo, I liked what you said on here.

They're gonna send, They're gonna send in an ad read. So do you think God, do you think God hates gays too? What else do you, they use some pretty more aggressive terminology. I would say they do. They say that they're gonna burn in hell. They hate them, you know.

Yeah. And they're like in the most inappropriate places all the time. Like they'll do that. The highway. You ever see, who organizes these? Yo, how crazy is that? That people are like, yo, let's go to the store,

make these signs, and then stand on the highway and try to influence people. That's like, what year is it? I just wanna know. I just wanna know who organizes these events where they're like, all right, I'll see you. There's a dead, there's a dead kid. Rally.

Rally in a week. Bring your best signs. Remember, kids dead. Yeah. Like what fucking, I mean, I think we've understood, we understand that they're not rational minded people. But they're like doubly dumb

because they think that this stuff is gonna get the point across. Like who sees that and goes, they're on to something. Yeah, I see that and I go, I wanna just, all it takes is this, just like a little adjustment and then, and then.

Just a go, go, go, go, go. Or you can get a, I mean, your car has some pretty good shocks on it. I'm sure you might not even feel it. I'll tell you this, I wouldn't. For you, it takes this and then this. Yep, that's it. For me and my car, it'd be go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, you just, It'll be a lot, you know? Also like, I said this before in a video, and it's still like, it still remains true that. Every girl's a hoe. Boo! That's a joey, or slut.

Excuse me, that's what you used to say in those old videos. Oh no, I never said every girl's a slut. I know, I did talk about it. It's a joke, everyone. But no, that these, it's ironic that these people that pick it, like especially, like guys will pick it on the side of the road,

like God hates gays or whatever. And it's like, bro, you went to Michael's and made a fucking like little poster board and like stood on the side of the road. That's like, dude. 16 by 12 oak tag. Yeah. Give me your loudest paint.

It's like, dude, arts and crafts? Also kind of gay, dude. You ever noticed? You ever noticed that all these Westboro Baptist Church people are ugly as shit? Yeah. Bro, like maybe God doesn't hate the gays. Hates you guys.

Hates you, that's why you look like that. God doesn't hate anyone. But if he blessed you with that dumb ass face and that even dumber ass opinion, maybe, maybe, maybe look inside. I've seen it. Put a mirror on the back of that picket sign. All the people that protest for Westboro Baptist Church,

they look like cigarettes. Like old cigarettes. They all just like look like cigarettes. Just let me get like, I understand being mad because I'd be mad too if I looked like that. Absolutely, I would definitely be upset. They look like just like smoky.

I think they're upset with the gays because no one would like them. Gay or straight? Gays are mostly like, you know, they're well-rumored and like in shape and stuff and they're the opposite. They're hideous cigarette people. They look like cigarettes.

They're cigarette people. I have, I wish I was like a police sketch person because I have an idea in my head of what a man and a woman would look like if they did this and I promise you there's like probably an exact person. I'm pretty sure those are like the heads of the church. What do they call them?

Well, we went over to like Archbishop. No, but like of the Westboro Baptist Church, they've got to have different names. I mean, the dragon, what's the grand wizard? That's what it was. Why do I say dragon? I don't know. Listen, KKK, I would shoot all them in the head.

But the fact that they named their leader, the grand wizard is kind of fucking badass, dude. Yeah, like honestly, if you led with grand wizard, I'd be like, go ahead. But in the rest of it, I'd be like, no, no, no, no, I'm out, I'm out, I'm out. But the grand wizard. You lost me after a grand wizard.

The grand wizard's good, guys. Yeah, that was a very smart marketing technique on their part. Yeah, also I'll say this, the uniforms, not good. Not good. Not good. Not good. Like I said, personally, I would kill each of them.

Right. But the fact that the head is called the grand wizard, a smart move. That's kind of like. That's the only smart thing, it's smart choice that they've made in their life. Yes. We got to stop.

Whack uniforms though. Very whack, very whack, very whack. Yeah. Trash. You would think that they would make some sort of like adjustment, you know? Well, evolve at the times, you know? They understand that that's like.

It's something a more possible. But I think that's the point, is there's such pieces of shit and they understand that that outfit is synonymous with their stupidity and bigotry, that they're like, we want to instill fear in people. Something scarier though. That's a pretty scary. For the right, you might not be the person

that scares that much, Joey. I don't know if you know that. Yeah, well actually, to be honest with you, I think, like I'm pretty scared of like. The KKK? No. Go ahead, Joey. Well, first of all, yeah, I'd be terrified.

What do you got to fear? I remember, well, I don't know. For some reason. You want to find something about you? No, no, no. I'm talking about the KKK. Who cuts your hair? Dominicans?

Yeah. But one time I was walking at night and there were two white dudes with like, camo on and shit and just looked like, and I was just kind of like, it just made me uneasy. Yeah, camo is becoming synonymous. Synonymous with just asshole. With yee-haw.

Well, and yee-haw is, unfortunately, we know not all yee-haws are bad people. Oh, I love yee-haw. I'll yee my ha every now and then. Dude, I've been to Nashville. Big fan of the yee-haw. You yee-hawed in Nashville. Well, they have a brewery there called yee-haw

and it's fucking dope. Oh, it's the one that happens like the cornhole in the back and stuff like that. I remember you guys posting pictures when I wasn't there. Yeah, yee-haw, and you were invited. Don't even start that. I never said I wasn't. Okay.

That was a leading. No, I'm saying when I wasn't there. Well, just saying. Oh my God, here goes Joey. You were invited. Yeah. You're sick and tired of it. Because?

My fan base could be called. It comes and cancels you and gives me 100% ownership of this show. I don't know, but we could figure it out at the box. No, I'm not calling it a box. You're telling me you don't want to see someone dildo themselves. Let me make something abundantly clear.

That's shocking to me. Let me make something abundantly clear. Who doesn't want to watch that? That's crazy. I have no desire. Bro, eating like food, having like- Eating food? People doing like food competitions?

All about it. No, no, no, no. I'm saying- I'll watch people do like, yo, I can eat 30 cheeseburgers in 20 minutes. I would love to see that. Eating a fucking silicone cock in their butt? No, thank you.

Or, or a bunch? Yeah, well, like 3 a.m. you're like- Listen to me. Pretty drunk. The timing and the inebriation level is not going to affect my desire to see it. Pretty drunk and it's 3 a.m. And like, you know, there's a bunch of funny stuff happening

and then some dudes like, I'm about to bang my shit. And you're like, what? This is so crazy. No, no, no, no. I think you know me well enough to know that I don't want to see that. Nah, bro, I don't know.

No, yeah. What are you talking about? For Secret Santa, you got our friend- Oh, you got our friend a deal, though? Yeah, I got it for him. I had no desire to watch him use it. What kind of a fucking- What kind of logic do you have there, Joe?

That was not, that was- That was loose. Thought I was on to something. No. But, you know. We got no- You're going to go in a box of 11,000 patrons. Yeah, we are.

Well, I'm going for that. No, wait, you're going. Oh, you're going before that too. You know what? That should be 11,000. No, no, I'm good at it. Because it's not a punishment if I go. I want to go.

I have no desire to want- It's not supposed to be a punishment. It's just- A thing? I didn't even say the box. You said the box. I said you have to go to watch one of these sex parties. Oh, yeah, I'll try to figure that out.

That's just a tough one to make happen because I'm not going to go to a random thing that I don't- Joey, Joey. You're going to tell me you don't know enough pe- You've been to enough Michelin star restaurants. Frankie, they're not offering sex parties. I'm sure you haven't asked hard enough, Joe. All right?

Do you guys- What's on the other side of the menu? Oh, yeah. Is there a secret menu like right this way? Someone's getting fucked. That's definitely a thing. Maybe. Nothing that I know of yet.

Just make sure if you do go one of them, just make sure you check everyone's IDs. Make sure you're not like being like placed into like an illicit- Ooh, scary, scary, scary. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that'd be a little- Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why you have to go to one where it's like

they have bouncers and like, you know. Well, that, I don't think that makes much of a difference. Well, checking IDs. Oh, yeah, because you know what? You're right, Joey. Bouncers have never looked the other way. You would, all right, yeah. I mean, what do you want me to do?

I want you to be smart in your pursuit of going to a live sex party. You're making me do this. I'm not making you do a goddamn thing. The paper. Ah, darn it. That's true. But yeah, I guess that's all for this week's episode.

We'll figure out what the hell's going on at 11,000. Boy, what a fucking whirlwind of an episode. Yeah, this has been out of control. I completely forgot about my rap until we sat down. Yeah, I said I would spoil life back there for a second. Yeah, you did. That was a joke. We know it.

Yeah. But. Put your stake in the ground. Where are you, Joe? Where am I? Yeah, on social media. What does that mean? Joe Sanagato on social media and then the basement yard.

Oh, oh, am I doing my outro now? Yeah. Oh, okay. What, you want me to do it? No, I thought. You can find Joe. No, I thought you were asking me about like abortion. No, Joey.

How would I be asking you? I was like, obviously, I'm not fucking pro-life. Jesus Christ. You guys can follow me at Joe Sanagato on all fucking platforms and go follow the show at The Basement Yard on TikTok and Instagram. FAlvors8085 on Twitter, the Frank Alvarez on Instagram. Go check out patreon.com slash The Basement Yard.

We get to 11,000. Joe's going to go and get gangbanged in the butt by Purple Dildo. So. Well, I don't know about that. patreon.com slash The Basement Yard, baby. Yeah, I may go watch that, but I'm not gonna. No, no, no.

He's there. He's definitely there. We'll see you guys next time.