The Basement Yard - #343 - We Can Talk To Our Dead Relatives

Episode Date: April 25, 2022

Joe and Frank discuss the possibility of speaking to dead relatives! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. You okay? Aw, fuck dude. I know you hurt yourself, but I don't know what you did. Oh, you bit your cheek. I bit my cheek. Aw, you're a child. Are I reading? I don't know. Get deeper in there. Get deeper. No, no, no. Get deeper. Put your fingers deeper in your mouth.

Put it all the way in. Oh, wait. You're fucking with me. Come on, man. Yes, I am. Fuck, that hurts. Damn, dude. That was a good fish hook, though. That was a pretty good fish hook. You got me all riled up at the beginning of the episode. Bro, you remember when people would just fucking fish hook people and, like, almost break their necks?

In what? You know, like, one of our friends used to do that growing up. We would just be, like, hanging out and he'd just fucking Oh, yes, yes, yes. Bro, deadly shit. Yeah, not the coolest. Not the coolest, I mean. That doesn't feel good at all. Let me tell you. What? I'm biting my cheek.

How do I look? Do I look camera ready? Yeah, you do, but I don't know what you're doing now. Like, it hurts, so I need to stretch it out. Are you bleeding? Are you like a hole in your shit? I taste a little bit of blood, but normal occurrence in this old body, babe. Yeah. Do you like the taste of blood? Are you one of those people that cuts their finger and sucks it?

I mean, I don't like the taste of blood. Let's start there, fucking morbius. What's wrong with you? Dude, people enjoy that. Vampires? No, there's people who, like, cut their finger and they go, oh. Well, I think I think I do that because it's like

I don't do that, but I think people do that because it's like I don't do that. But I think people do that because it's like your spit is like a, it helps it like, cleans it or something. Are you making that up? I might be. I think like, I think that's true for dogs.

Like, if you have a cut, and like you let a dog lick it, it'll like heal. Yeah, I remember in like high school, someone was like the cleanest part of any animal is a dog's mouth. And it was like, bro, I've watched my dog chew on a fucking used condiment found. I can guarantee it's not a good clean

place. Is that a real story? Yeah, rogue chewed on a used condom. Oh my, in your house? No. Do you think we just leave used condoms laying around the house? No, she was on a walk with I think my sister. And Ew, dude. Yeah, yeah. Condoms? Yeah, well, you know, I joked

Unless you're transporting drugs into jail, you don't do that. Well, how about this? Never do it. That's a bad idea, too. I'm just saying, that's the probably most efficient way. When we put my dog down, I said, I was like, damn, that condom came back 12 years later and really fucked her up. It might have been the old age. That probably

was part of it, but wasn't the condom. Chewing on a used condom probably ain't very good for you either. I would imagine it's not. I've never eaten a condom, have you? Um, no, Joey. I have not. Have you ever tasted a condom? No. I don't think I have.

I don't, I had to think about that for a second. How would you taste a condom, Frank? I was joking. Oh, you've never seen, um, how would you taste a condom? You've never seen cone heads, Joey. In cone heads, it's like a joke in the movie that they tell the aliens that condoms are chewing gum. So they give them flavored condoms.

And I'm like... I don't even get flavored condoms. Like, is that for blowjobs? I think, yo, you're supposed to blow people with condoms on, which... Who the hell is doing that? That's like picking your nose with a napkin on it. I think a lot of people are doing that

second one, Joey, but that's probably more than the first. I know, but like, ugh. It's so stupid. I think that's what is like, proper sex. I think that's like the protocol. You're supposed to give any form of like oral, anal, vaginal, handle, like

it's supposed to be with a condom. Handle. What is a hand called? Just hand stuff, I think. Handjobs. I think they're all jobs. What's the scientific name for handjobs? Because you have fallatio? I don't think there is one. Oh, got it. Like, partner masturbation?

Partner masturbation, dude? There's stuff like that that exists. Partner masturbation might be like, we both jerk it and like stare at each other. Oh, okay. That's not weird. I'm saying like, what's the scientific name? There's scientific names for everything. I'll look it up.

If it's just masturbation, I'm going to be a little upset. Scientific name for handjobs. Handjob. That's it. So they went, blowjob is fallatio, eat and punch is cunnilingus. And then handjob is just good old playing handjob. Yeah, because it doesn't require

protection. No one's going to wear like a glove. I mean, some people might ask for you to wear a condom or something. On your hand? You don't put the condom on your hand, Joey. That defeats the purpose. Yeah, I'm an idiot.

It could be a messy situation. So you want to get in and out quick, clean up the mess. Yeah. I mean, I, you know. Would you taste flavored condoms? Are you trying to set up like a San Diego Studios video right now? I'm trying to set up a Patreon video.

That we're just going to sit here and eat condoms? patreon.com slash the basement yard where maybe Joey is going to sit here and chew on flavored condoms. Joey's not going to chew on condoms. I'll do them with you. I'm not going to eat condoms. They're not going to be on a dick, dude. They'll be out of the wrapper. I know they will not be attached to a dick.

If it's not attached to a gang, a penis. Yeah. Well, it's rubber. Excuse me. It's silicone, I believe. Isn't it? No. Latex is like... Latex. That's the one I'm looking for.

You said rubber, you said silicone. No, but I think... Oh yeah, what is that? That's like a rich person's thing, right? Way worse. Way grosser, I would think. I'd rather put something made in a factory around my dick. Not something that's from the inside of a sheep. I don't think vegans would really agree with you there.

I don't care what vegans agree with, dude. I'm just saying. I'm sick of them. Whoa! Yeah! Yeah! I'm done with you. I'm done with the vegans. Are vegans really using like vegan condoms? I don't know, but I'll tell you what I will do instead of eating condoms, because

there's still like spermacidal lube on there that doesn't taste good. Well, I mean, I assume that it has to taste good if it's like fucking like strawberry flavored. Instead of just sitting here and eating condoms... Well, we're not going to eat them because we won't be able to ingest them. We'll just taste them. We'll chew a little, spit it out. Like wine tasting, you know.

How about we get a bunch of different sexual products and we taste test those? Because there's like edible panties. There's fucking sprays. No, I don't think so. I don't think there are sprays, Joey. There's like...

There's like jellies and chocolates and shit like that. Bro, we can just take a trip to Spencer's gifts and just fucking, for like 30 bucks we can get a whole sex dungeon worth of shit. That's what I'm saying. You know what I know exists? Actually, I don't know this exists, but I know

that a girl said it to me one time. This was by the way, I was in like 8th grade. Yeah, you weren't using any of this stuff. No, bro. But she said that there's like a spray that numbs your throat. I mean, so that you don't have a gag reflex. Well, there's like...

First of all, 8th grade, you're not gonna need it. Trust me, you'll be okay. If it's me, you'll be alright. You'll be in 8th grade. Save your money. It's okay. Well, they have like the cough drops, the sambucaal

I think they're called. They're called like sambucaal or something. There's another name for them, but they have cough drops that numb your throat and they have spray. I remember it came in like a fucking earthworm gym looking bottle that hits the back of your throat and it numbs it

to like deal with sore throats. Oh, I thought this was like made purposely for like lunges. Well, I'm sure someone cornered the market and was like, bro, if we could numb our throats because they're a little itchy scratchy, we could definitely do it if someone's poking the back of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bro, there's like flavored everything, dude. I've never tried any of this stuff. I feel like I've eaten a panty before. You've eaten a panty? The only thing that I've ever... It was like a candy panty. Yeah, it was a candy panty and I ate it.

Was it moist? No, no, no, it was like a fruit roll-up, but not a good flavor. Yeah, it's like fruit leather. Why do I feel like you've eaten that? Don't ask me. I feel like you were with me when I ate this panty. It was a fully-clothed panty.

I mean, I guess it's possible. I don't actively remember it, but hey, we've been through a lot. 25 years. No, I will say I do... What was that? I don't know. We're dead. What was that?

Oh, it's got to be the art on the other side of that wall. Maybe, I don't know. The only thing that I ever had and I bought and I never used, because guess what? Was gummy handcuffs? Which... Wait, there were gummy handcuffs?

And who bought them? You or your... Guess what? Defeats the fucking purpose of them being handcuffs. Easy to get out. Very simple, although I had small wrists as a boy. If I were to use them, I presume I might not be able to open them up because gummies can be a little tough.

Bro, a peach ring? Put two fingers around your finger and try to open it. It's a little tough. Everyone's finger to peach ring. Maybe with some... If it's behind your back, I can get at it.

I never tried them on or anything. Did you buy it? Did you buy it for a purpose of using these on Esmerelda? Oh, I'm sure I did. I think at the time... First of all, again, back to 8th grade when this stuff was potentially going to be used.

I hit it under my mattress and I had... Just stupid shit. You had a bunch of sex candy? I had the gummy handcuffs. Of course. A condom. I'm sure I did.

Don't keep it under your fucking mattress. Keep it in the fridge. Wasn't the smartest thing I'd ever done. Remember alcoholic whipped cream? Disgusting. Disgusting. I had one and I was shocked at how fucking bad it was.

It's disgusting. It's not very nice. Yeah, it wasn't good. But you kept a bunch of sex toys under your bed? Not sex toys. Hold on. You had gummy handcuffs? It was like one purchase. It was back when the coolest thing to do at the mall was going to Spencer's.

And I would be like, oh shit. Oh shit. Yeah, exactly. Someone once got me a stress ball that was a titty. Like bro, titties. And a string backpack probably. Definitely a string backpack. With an axe body spray.

A couple. Multiple axe bodies. Were you one of those people who had the chocolate axe spray? I'll do you one better. Not only did I get the chocolate spray, you're best believe I got the chocolate body wash too. Oh, yeah.

It was disgusting. And then they had other ones, I got a yellow one and a snake venom. It got in my eye. That was bad. It was like actual venom. It felt like it. And it had like grit in it. Like particles.

Like scrub. Like exfoliating. Yes. Wasn't very good. Wasn't very fun. I'll tell you that. But yeah, I carried all that stuff around with me. And a knife. Yeah, I remember you saying you carried a knife

and I'm going to ask you, by the way, because this conversation came up the other day with some people. Not me. It's about to, you stupid bitch. Well, I wasn't there. What's your opinion on bathroom attendance? Bathroom attendance?

Like I'm here? Like you have to announce that you're in a bathroom? An attendant, you idiot. Oh! Present! I am shitting. No. Fuck up, Becky. Shut up, Jane.

All right, no, but an unattended. That's like there and they turn the faucet on for you. First of all, thankless job. Second of all, they're not getting a dime of my fucking money, bro. I honestly think we should just get rid of that. It's like a rich upper echelon.

But I don't get it. I get it, I guess, at certain restaurants where the clientele is all people that carry cash in abundance. But like, I remember the first time I had ever seen one was at a fucking nightclub in New York City. And it was like, bro,

if there is ever a place to not have one of these, it's there. Because no one's going into the bathroom for anything good. Maybe that's why they did it. So he could fight people off. So he could be like, oh, please don't lick each other in here. I was thinking the coquiana.

I think the coke they're cool with, the sex stuff they're probably not cool with. Yeah, I mean, yeah. I want to start a petition and be like, we should get out of this. Get out of the bathroom. Because it makes me uncomfortable

to be like, I just shit or pee. I can only shit if I I can pee wherever. But I can't shit. I can shit, but I don't. I try to avoid there.

Like, if there's no one in there, I'll be like, I got to squeeze this out real fast before I even get in here. Because I don't like shitting around other people. But when the bathroom attendance there, he knows exactly what goes on in here. He knows the down and dirty of everyone coming into the bathroom. And what if you're a person of higher status, like yourself,

and you go into a bathroom and they recognize you and they're just like, yo, by the way, I met Joe Sanagato. This guy took a fat dog. Just took a dude. He fucking pissed shit in the back to the pit. He shit on his pit. But, yeah, no, I just don't like it. And also, like, after that, I also feel very awkward because

I don't know whether they're the type of attendant that's going to like, oh, I'm going to turn the water on. And I'm like, here's the thing. And they're standing next to me, like over my shoulder, like, as soon as I'm done washing my hands, I'm like, here. Thank you. Bro, they're mad quick.

And then it's like, I don't have cash. And that's the thing that I feel bad about is like, I never carry cash. And I understand, like, jokes aside, I understand there are people that are doing this job because they are trying to make ends meet and stuff like that. Of course. But like, bro. I'm a very vulnerable boy in the bathroom. It's a private place.

I don't want someone to be like, you're good. You're here. Oh, fuck. Bro, I've been in the one where they... You had a good time? I've never had a good time in a bathroom. I can tell you, I've been to one that has one of those people, but for an automatic

faucet. They'd go up and they'd like, shove their hand in front of me to turn the water on for me. And I'd be like, I was like, thanks. Now we're just like fighting technology. Now, yeah, now it's like, we're trying to reinvent the wheel here. You gotta let go. You gotta figure out design before you get that person in there.

I'll go as far as say this too. Automatic sinks. We can get rid of that before the attendant, by the way. So dumb. I mean, I hate them. None of them work because they make you look like an idiot because you're like, bro, the other day,

here, they have regular sinks, which is fine, but they have a... What is this? The hand dryer. It's like an automatic one. So you gotta get under whatever. In an upcoming video, you will see,

but I had to put something on my head at a certain point. And I made my hair all gross, so I was like, I need to get this out of my hair. So I just went in there and washed my hands and then I put that soap in my hand

and then just put it in my hair. So my hair is soaking wet. So I went over to the hand dryer and I'm trying to dry my head. And you're just like, I'm going... And then a guy walked in. He just looked like an idiot. He was just like a very obvious Jewish gentleman.

He had to get up. Oh. And he came in and I'm like, what does this guy think right now? He's not. He probably pissed at you. I'm like, trying to... And then the thing was going... My...

I was like, bro, can I just... You gotta get under there. My worst enemy are the faucets that you have to hit. And then they turn on like a five second timer. What the hell is that? That's way worse than automatic. Not enough water. Not even just that, but it like trickles out.

And then like, sometimes it's like... And it shuts off by the time you get there. So you have to like hold down one. And then I have to do this weird wash with one hand. Where I'm like doing this. The back of my hand still covered in soap. Yeah, like doing sorcery or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh man. Yeah, bathroom attendants don't care much for them. How do the bathrooms need to redo? I will say this though. And I have to pay for it. I'm going to be very upset with that establishment. Well, no, I don't think that you pay for the mints. But you do pay for a gum. They have gum.

Yeah, they spray you a cologne if you want. That's a very fucking... It's basically like a chemical reaction of shit going on there. You like to imagine that place. It's going up in flames. I think it makes more sense for them to just do that. Like, and also it has to be a bathroom that is like equipped to make this happen.

You know, like a tiny bathroom and if you have an attendant in it, we can do without this. But if you have a big bathroom and a big establishment and there's a section where he's just going to be like, yo, we got gum, we got cologne, we got fucking... like, I don't know, things that you could... whatever, like an oxy-clean bleach thing? Oh, a tight-to-go pen.

You fuck up yourself at dinner? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's cool. Something like that. Like, they get a handle of shit like that. You know, or they got a steamer. Like to help people who are at the... Bro, you're going to hand me a napkin? Yeah, I don't wash my hands. You know what? I'll take back what I said before. Let's not get rid of the attendant.

Let's just change their job. Because handing someone a fucking thing, I don't need this. Make it like, bro, make it like a bathroom stall. All right, here we go. A stall, like a toilet, and your feet come out and the bathroom person's attendant, their job is to massage everyone's feet, dude.

That I would be pumped about. Okay, that's... that's a lot. No, I mean, I mean, they're only in, like, these higher echelons. I would never ask someone to massage my feet. Waste shitting. Well, hold on a second. You're not asking them to help you in that bathroom at all. They just do it. That's true.

Very aggressively. I would be like, I'm good on the foot... the shit foot rub. Like, bro, I'm shit. Yeah. No, I'm kind of with you. My worst fear in bathrooms, though, and I don't know if you're like this, is when there's no, like, designated rooms.

And then it's like... What? You ever been to, like, a restaurant or, like, one of these, like, new, like, breweries or whatever? And just doors. And they're all each individual stalls? I love that. Oh, okay. It's terrifying for me. Why?

Because I don't know what to do. And if I knock on a stall and a... someone of the opposite... Gender. Gender comes out. I'm gonna feel like, did I just interrupt a woman... a lady's shit? And that's... that's more... What's wrong with that?

I don't want to go in that bathroom. And then someone walks out and you're like, oh, I corrupt by this woman. I just blew it up. I would say, I deos mio. I'm not going in that goddamn bathroom. But what if a man walked out and was like, I'd give it a sec, but I'm more inclined to go in that one. For what? I'd rather a lady's shit than a man's shit.

No, dude, because the lady's shit, like, that makes it ten times worse, bro. How? I think women's shit lighter than a man. I don't think that's right. You think men are shitting... You ever heard of period poops, dude? There's way more alcoholic men that have disgusting...

disgusting shit. Well, there's way more alcoholic men, period. And then... I just... I feel like I... I know... It's like, it's the devil you know, you know what I mean? But women take care of their stuff better than men. But you could argue.

I mean, I'm sure you could argue. I'm not gonna argue, though. Well, I think that's because they have to. If not, they get, like, infections. Also, yeah, because women... They get some summers of even up in that bitch. And men... Their butthole is never on display for women.

I mean, people see it. Your partner sees it. You can't be having a poopy butt. I mean, you... Everyone, I hope, cleans themselves well. Of course, but men, when are you gonna... I don't think it's a matter of how the ass itself smells. I think it's what's inside that's coming out. You think that inside of woman's ass

is worse than inside of a man's ass? If I presented you with two bowls of shit, you would be able to tell what was woman's shit and what was men's shit? No, I just think that, like, on a mass scale, men have a grosser poop. You know? If anything, if anything.

You're on to something. You're on to something. If anything, if anything. Like you said, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. So why do you choose to not follow the woman's shit? Because, bro, women don't poop. Men don't poop either, they shit.

Poo peeper. I'm just saying, like, if a woman's coming out, I'm more inclined to be like, I'll walk away for the next one until a man comes. I mean, worse comes to worse. If it gets down to, you know, brass tacks, I'll go into any stall.

I just want to let you know that I'm the opposite of you. If a woman walks out, I go, cool. Because I know that she probably sprayed some... Yeah, maybe women are more inclined to, you know, mask whatever happened in there. Of course. But I'm still worried.

Bro, I will tell you, from my experience, I know that my experience is not indicative of the whole world. When I worked at, guess where? Target. The women's room was way worse than the men's room. As far as poopy? Not even just a general hygiene.

Really? Yeah, man. And it's possibly because they don't get the appropriate facilities while they're in the bathroom. Also, they gotta sit every time. Bro, men can walk in, and they're out. Men, for the most part, like, they sit, do their thing, or if they stand and do their thing,

it's a little dribble drabble. I'd rather see piss all over the floor than fucking dumps. There was more dumps on the floor. Hold on. No, no, no. I will say I need to frame this real quick. Okay, make sure you frame it. You worked at Target. Yes, sir. So, in the bathroom, you're saying the women's bathroom

had more shits on the floor than the men's bathroom? I'm not just saying shits. I'm just saying overall, it was way dirtier and grosser. But was there more shits on the floor? I didn't sit there and tally up who had done their business on the floor more, Joe.

But you're saying it's close. You're saying it might be an even amount of shit? I am saying it's possible it was even. I'm saying the overall hygiene, the women's room was way grosser than the men's room. That also could be as a result of our staffing. We didn't necessarily have staff to always go in the women's room because they could demand, because maybe it was a man that was cleaning.

There were different variables that play here, Joe. But from what I remember, women are fucking gross. You know what? I would say 80% of the videos I've seen of people shitting like in the aisle of a like a retail place. Oh, okay.

I was gonna say, how many of these videos are you watching? Oh, I've seen a bunch. I've seen videos of women just being like just like standing in like an aisle and like looking around and all of a sudden just going like and then shaking their leg and a poop comes out. Yeah, I've seen one or two of those. And honestly

like 80% of those are women. I would say most of them were women. Yeah, I mean... That's kind of insane, dude. Women think they can, you know, they think they can do anything they want nowadays. It's hard for us men. See what happens when you give them the right to vote?

Now they think they can just shit. You want to give them the right to talk and hear? They could just poop anywhere now? Uh... Also... Thank God, we narrowly... Don't go to the ads now. No, no, no. We're gonna get to them real soon, but Jesus.

I can hold a log poop forever, I think. You ever heard of white privilege, Joe? Yeah. You've got fucking bowel privilege. Well, no, because no, Frankie. If it's like not like a solid thing

we're in big trouble. There's no one at the front. There's no bouncer. There's no bouncer at the door. Anyone can come in and out. Apparently, according to some people, it's like the Mexican border. Yeah. But if it's like a solid... Then, you know, we got full security.

Canadian border. Is that hard to get through? I don't know. He tried it. Yeah, that's all I know. Is there a border to... Oh, that's it. Those are the two countries. But, Joe, I applaud your effort

because my body is like, oh, you have to use the bathroom? Now. Go. Find something immediately. So I have to schedule my day around knowing where the nearest bathroom is. And I have, knock on wood, been a lucky baby boy.

Dude, I used to be like that, too. I remember the first time I went to Connecticut, your sister drove me and I was so worried about the drive up because I was like, oh my god, Jessica's gonna see me shit on the side of the road. I mean, bro, if anything, that's a great place. There's thick woods. You just go into one of those woods and you're... When you get to Connecticut, there are.

Not when you're in New York. It's a little tough. It really depends where you are. But I also, it's your sister. I didn't want to be like, Jessica, can you pull over? I have to walk into the woods and shit up against a tree. Yeah, that could be tough.

What do you got to do? What you got to do sometimes, Joe? I mean, you know, don't hate the game or the player. Hating is you, you know? Did you make that up? No, you don't remember that song? How come? Well, like D12 and Eminem. How come? We don't even talk no more. We don't barely keep a gong no more.

Wow, that song is so bad. Yeah, really bad. But one of the verses, he goes, don't hate the game or the player. The one to be hating is you. How come? You're right back into the hook. Oh my god. Speaking of the hook. The hook has nothing to do with any of this.

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where the actor has to look athletic playing a sport, he's the captain of the football team or whatever, he better not throw a football like this. Yeah, I saw that clip. I think it was Robbie Amell is like in a show and he throws it like an idiot. Dude, I hate when they are like

even in fucking, what's the one with the girl in the bath where she teeth, 13 reasons, 13 reasons why. Oh. No, but 13 reasons why. Yeah, that's a tough one. The way I described that was not really friendly. If you're good to be good. No, no, no, no, not her.

Not for the idiots. The Asian kid is supposed to be like the star basketball player and there's a scene where he's in the gym and he's like taking shots and I'm like who is this? Oh, Joey athletic Joe is very upset. Bro, it's not hard to just I agree. I agree. If you need to have

so weird or or here's this, just don't show scenes of them doing what they're supposed to be that good at just have him sweating like holding on to the ball like I just got to work out. No one's going to be watching High School Musical and go, I need the character development to see how good Troy is at basketball. No one cares. No one cares.

They want to see little Troy Bolton grinding up on Vanessa Hudgens and like a little dance. And you know, basically just dry humping the whole time while wearing purity rings. Right, but they had purity rings. That was the Jonas Brothers. That's right. You remember those? I do. You damn right.

Virgins. Look at nerds. Nerds. Yeah, they probably have so much sex. Now I'm saying Sophie Turner, by the way, love her. Oh, she's married. That's right. Jonas. They're pregs. I think she's given. She's given the birth.

Oh, she's has. I think she's already given it. She's given the birth. I think she already gave up the birth. She gave No, she's given the birth to the kid or whatever. Hold on. Well, maybe a bit abundantly clear. I don't think they gave up the child. I just want to say what I've given up. She's given up the birth

to the kid. She's given the kid the birth. She's shot it out. I don't know that for sure, but I'm going to trust you. I think, I mean, if she's not, she's been pregnant for years at this point. You can't rush those things. Yeah, but bro, I was all about 15 year old me.

So apparently, I legitimately thought I had a shot with V Hudge because a girl that I went to school with reportedly her aunt was Vanessa Hudgens' manager. Oh, yeah. You told me this and it's got to be one of those

classic like my dad works for Nintendo. He knows the cheat code in Super Mario 64 to get Luigi. You know what I mean? Like one of those words like that was specific. It's one of those like everyone like the fucking schoolyard rumors and stuff like that. Like I'm sure her aunt was Vanessa Hudgens' manager.

Right, right, right. But the reason why she's in the news is not because she's a little hottie with a body. Is that how we're describing her now? No, I just remember. Not the acting career and singing career of Vanessa Hudgens. Sneaker night?

Banger. Bro, that song sucks so much. It's a heater. But no, she said that she can talk to the dead. Wait, what? She said that she could just talk to the dead. She has the capability to talk to the dead. Wait, how? Okay.

Of all the people that got bestowed with this power, Vanessa Hudgens has enough, man. Yeah, she's a beautiful woman. She can dance. She can sing. She can act. Why give her the power to talk to the dead? Give it to somebody else. A normal schlep like me. I don't want that power. I don't want to talk to the dead. Do you want to?

No. How do you know? I barely want to talk to the alive. You barely want to talk to me. Yeah. I barely want to talk to my friends. Talk to the dead, dude. They probably have all different kinds of problems. Yeah, they're probably just like, oh my god, I'm so dead. Yeah, I only want to talk. I love hearing myself talk. Wait, so what did she say?

Exactly. She was on Kelly Clarkson. Thank god. By the way, that's the queen. Don't you ever fucking forget it. Don't forget it. Also, she's not Kelly Clarkson. I'm fucking up. She changed her name. That's right. She's Kelly Sum.

It's like Kelly Rowland or something. Kelly Clarkson, new name. Because fuck Kelly Brienne. Kelly Brienne? Kelly Brienne. Beautiful name for a beautiful queen. That is all about it. I said that in my violin. But Kelly Clarkson has her own talk show,

Bang Bang Boom. And she's got pipes. Yes, she does. Yeah, Kelly Brienne. She can sing her ass off. But anyway, she was on Kelly Clarkson's show. Oh fuck, she was on Kelly Brienne's show. Yeah, she got you twice. And she said, I've accepted the fact that I see things

and I hear things. The unknown is scary, but I recently was like, no, this is a gift and something that I have the ability to do. So I'm going to lean into it. I think she's leaning into it. Meaning like, I'm going to go out and like, I'm going to seek the spirits. Oh, like fucking Demi Lovato.

Oh no, Demi Lovato is talking about aliens. She's like, yo, we should like not gender them. Careful, you misgendered her dude. Oh, sorry. Fucked up. Cancel the son of a bitch. That was an honest mistake. She said something about, fuck. They went on a show

and were like talking to the two aliens. Like aliens, I know you're here. It's me, Demi. And it's like, bro. Oh no, she said again, it's all right. It's an honest mistake. Yeah, I'm not trying to be funny at all. Demi had put out a statement saying like people use gender me, I understand.

To be completely honest, I don't even find that funny. But Demi Lovato says calling extraterrestrials aliens is offensive. That's what it was. She thinks it's a... It's hard, it's hard. Demi Lovato says that... It's hard. It's a work in progress.

There's no reason, I know. They said that calling extraterrestrials aliens is offensive. Which like, I don't know any aliens. Yeah, I don't know. Who am I offending? I mean, maybe one day they might come. If they're listening? I don't know.

I just don't know. Just send me a sign that it's offensive. Oh, I don't want to sign. And I'll stop. I don't want to sign. I mean, you would want to sign that you're offending the aliens. Uh...uh...uh... I don't want the alien. Oh, he's misgendering Demi Lovato

and aliens now. This is a tough episode. I don't want to know that our thing. Extra-terrestrials. Extra-terrestrials. Yes. E.T.s, can I say it? Yeah, we did, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I don't, I don't want to, you know,

I don't even want to know. I'm sure there's people out there that could like, know and like, they'll be cool. Well, there's the famous saying. It's like we're either alone in the universe or we're not. We're really terrifying. And it's like, bro, I am not terrified thinking I'm alone. Right? I also feel like, yo, if we're the only things in the galaxy, like...

I don't care even about the moon. Yeah, bro, I don't, I don't give a fuck. Oh, we could go land on the moon and we're talking about going to Mars. Dude, I, I, I'm legitimately serious when I say this. I don't care. I literally don't care. I'm going to put it as simple as possible.

If there is extra-terrestrial life, find out the moment I die. Yeah. Right after me. Right after I'm gone. Yeah. I don't care where I go, but then figure it out. Because my kids, they'll have to deal with it. I'm not. I love my kids so much.

If my, if Becca lives longer than me, I love her the moment I die, send the extra-terrestrials to the planet. Yeah, yeah. I'm, I'm gone. What am I going to do? I don't want to be a part of that at all. You know, I hope they're nice to my family and you and your family. He'll be, he'll be long gone. Yeah, yeah, he will. But like...

That's my dog, by the way. I don't want to know. And especially with the dead, dude? I don't fuck with the dead. Because guess who's dead? Everybody. Everyone, too. You ever drive by a cemetery and you go, bro, that's a lot of dead. She, I almost, I almost...

We are outnumbered by the dead. Bro, are we? Yeah, we are. If the dead decide to come back, we are screwed. Think of yourself. Yeah. How many more dead people are there than you? A lot, dude. At least ten. And how would you even fight the dead

if they decided to come back? Because they're already dead. And would they be not so nice? I think that's when you have to... They could be corrupted. They're even dead. That's when you need to like turn to, to God and be like, yo, remember all those times I blasted him? Joke. And he's like, I got you

and he fucking shines a crucifix at him. Yeah. And like burns a hole in their chest. Dude, that'd be crazy if like... demons were real. And then we had to rely on the priests. The ones that you've been making fun of. Hold on, hold on. You have to, bitch. Whoa, but not as nearly as much as you.

I think that you are... Bro, think about this. If demons come through, priests are on the front line like, get behind me. You know, you'd be like, yo, father. Well, you hope. You hope. You hope that they're going to be like super brave.

Like, and they're not just like, bro, you guys are used to... I'm going straight to the Vatican. You're going straight over to the Vatican? You're going straight across the Atlantic to the Vatican? Bro, I'm going straight to Pope. Because I know he's got the... He's got the holy nuclear button. He's got the smoke, dude.

He's going to be like, I got you. He's going to like bless the clouds and it starts raining and everyone dies. Oh, bless it. He's going to use that weather machine that the Illuminati has to, you know, affect the world. And he's just going to let it rain holy water. And we're set, dude. It's funny though, like, she's like, I was given this gift.

How do you know, like, it's got to be the dead that want to talk to Vanessa Hudgens, right? They're all getting together like, All right, we're voting. This month, who are we going to talk to? We can go for Lizzo. We can go for like Russell Crowe. Or we can go for Vanessa Hudgens.

But also, wait, if they're choosing, they're choosing the Long Island medium? Well, no, I think she's bullshit. Really? Do you know a live or dead one? Did I use something? Yeah, I think so.

I don't think a live or dead anyone wants to speak to a woman from Long Island with that haircut. Bro, if you, she's like, oh my god. Okay, does someone here, does someone here eat pejudo? Does someone here know someone that's dead that eats pejudo? You, I'm getting an M, I'm getting an M. M, M, M, you know. She's always like in the supermarket and she's like,

Okay, we need cucumbers. Hold on. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Sir, do you work here? Did you? He's wearing a badge that says hello, my name is Jeff. Are you, did you name such with Jeff? I knew you worked here. Did you name such with Jeff?

I knew you worked here. Okay, hold on. Do you have a dead relative? I think they're coming to me. Can I get a second? They said they miss you. Are you expecting anyone to be missing you? I'm getting something about cologne. They're like, my uncle wore cologne.

That's what I'm smelling a lot of cologne. Yeah, it's all bullshit. What they do is they play the room and they have like someone go out beforehand and like talk to people like, oh, why are you here? And it's like my aunt died in like a skiing accident and she goes up there and she's like, I'm seeing snow. I'm seeing snow from this area, this whole area.

And it's like, and the people are like, oh my God. Can you imagine, bro, if I got approached by a medium on the street, let alone that medium, I'd be like, hold on. He imagined she came up to me and she was like, hold on. Your grandmother. Your grandmother.

She took the bus? Yeah, yeah, bro. God damn, yes she did. That bitch took the shit out of the bus. She wrote the fuck out of the bus, dude. I was like, yes. I want that to happen to me, though. Let's see if we can get a medium to come on a Patreon episode.

She's like, come in here and just read our shit. Read our palms, talk to us. All right, I see. Mediums don't read palms, you idiot. I think they do it. It's like a package deal. It's like nine a month. You can get your palm read. You can speak to one dead relative.

That's pretty good deal. It's like a subscription service. Yeah, I mean, I would love to have a medium come in, but I'm also a little scared. What if they're right? My life's kind of out there a lot, so I feel like they could do some digging. Yeah, they could figure it out.

They could be like, your dad, he sucks. Yeah, he does. You know, they might be able to figure it all out. Because anytime we talk about our relatives, all we say is that they're like very dead. They're gone. I'm just imagining a medium being like, is your grandma, right?

She's pretty fucking dead. Yeah, yeah. You got that from our show. Yeah, but if they said some shit that I've never said before, that'd be crazy. I'm getting something from someone you've described as long gone. It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Most of my dead relatives I described as no way.

Anyone who's in my family, that's a grandparent. I don't believe in that stuff, but I won't test out my theory. Like, I don't want to fucking, my hypothesis is what it is, and I will stick with it. I don't want to be like, I don't believe it, but I'll go test it out at a psychic or someone,

because then I'll be like, wait a sec. I'd be a little gullible. I tell you, my mom went to a psychic before she was pregnant with my sister, and the psychic said, you're going to have four kids and one is going to be a set of twins. What? Really?

She tells a story all the time. Yeah, but I feel like people, my mom's a liar. Yeah, yeah. I honestly, yes, that's what I'm saying. For real, I'm saying that. I think that she wants to believe that. I mean,

she told me, take it with a grain of salt, I have no reason to believe my mom is lying about it, because what does my mom have to benefit off of someone telling her that and her being like, yeah. I don't think it's really that cool that someone predicted you're going to have four kids. What are you talking about? That's amazing.

People would love to be a part of that. The reason I'm saying that is because I watched a documentary one time, and I think I've said this before on the show, I don't know, but it was a documentary about 9-11. No, but it was a documentary about 9-11 and they interviewed people that lived close to the towers

and they asked them to talk about their experiences, like a week after 9-11. And then they interviewed them 10 years later and 50% of their story was different. I saw the same thing. Eventually you say something and maybe you take it a little further

to make it a little more interesting or you adjust it just because the type of person you're talking to or whatever or the story that was told before, and then eventually you just tell that version a bunch of times and then you're just like... I mean, listen man, I don't think there's anything so cool about that.

Your mom's a fucking liar, dude. You're a shit liar. All I'm saying is I am not going to a medium or psychic to test out my theory that they're bullshit because they're going to fucking hit a nerve or something and I'm going to become obsessed with it.

You're going to move into my house. I'm going to be like, holy shit, what happens, am I... does my family leave me? I wouldn't want to know about the good things. A medium isn't a fortune teller, you idiot. But there are psychics, fortune tellers, you're naming different things.

I'm saying any of them. I think they're all bullshit, but I don't want to find out if they are. But a medium, like Vanessa Hudgens. You believe in ghosts? I don't know, and guess what? Like the extraterrestrials? I don't care.

I don't give a fuck, dude. I don't want to be haunted, that's all I know. I would rather think that the creek I hear in my house at night is just a house settling than a fucking apparition in my kitchen. Eating honeycombs. Yeah, it's not like a vampire.

Yeah, I don't want to think that. Because then I will stay up at night. Let me just think that it's nothing, and convince myself it's nothing. Because you can't get away from a ghost, dude. Or then you can just hire Vanessa Hudgens to come and talk to them. Get this fucking ghost out of here, dude.

You think Vanessa Hudgens, they're dead talk to her and they're like, sneaker night was garbage? Or they're probably like, yo, you're fire. They're dead. Yeah, I'm sure she only gets that from the ghosts. She's like, wait a sec, someone said I'm good looking. Yeah. Even the dead.

She can't walk down the street without hearing that shit. Someone said my shit is bussin'. Hold on, what was that? I'm getting, I'm dummy thick. I'm getting, I'm dummy thick. Something about my yams. Something about my yams. Someone said something about my wagon.

Who was that? Oh my god, I'm hearing a wagon. I'm hearing a wagon. Are they telling me something? That's a new level of like narcissism. When you think the dead are complimenting you. So the dead doesn't leave me alone. They just tell me they just want to fuck me all day.

They miss you, they love you, and they ask me to bend over. Oh my god. I'm telling you, man. There's gotta be horny ghosts out there. Hell yeah dude. If I came back, like why does every ghost have to like haunt? Why can't they just be like, yo. Just like, invading dreams.

Peeping Tom's and shit. I'm not saying that's cool, but I'm saying, what? No, that's not cool. I hope you're saying that's not cool. Wait, I don't think I know what Peeping Tom's are. Peeping Tom's are like, they sit at the window and like fucking jerk off. I hope you're saying that's not cool, Joey.

And I think that it's like even worse because it has to do with like kids. I'm not saying it's not cool. It's like, I am. Hello. I don't know what's going on. Hold on, just say something real quick. Yeah. Okay, let's get to the end.

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Joey can do something embarrassing for once. Well, it's not embarrassing. It's terrifying. Well, both, yes. They're going to see, basically, you might do, you might do shit. You might do shit. You might do shit. The two things that sharks can smell.

Period blood and chain. Well, it's just all blood. Well, that's bears. Bears can smell the menstruation apparently. Oh, I don't know if that's even real. Probably not. But guess what? I said it. Probably not. You're going to think about it. You're going to look it up now, aren't you? I mean, are we?

Yeah. Can bears smell menstruation? I think they can. Like, dogs can smell fear and anger. Like, if I yell at you right now, Charlie's going to jump up on me. Guaranteed. Menstrual odors were essentially ignored by black bears of all sex and age classes.

So, they tested it in 1991. That's actually hilarious. I've been like, wait, can they smell... What is a menstrual odor? Fucking... like a bucket of menstrual stuff. Blood.

I'm sure it stinks. I mean, I assume. What does it smell like, though? Not good. I mean, it's like a bloody woman's smell. You know? Yeah, that's probably not the best. It probably just smells like when you blow your nose and it's like a bloody blood clot.

Yeah, let me ask you about something real quick so we can get the fuck off of this. You dead. What celebrity are you talking to so they can think that they talked to the dead? You're going to be like your conduit because clearly there are some people that are trying to use penicillin. You know what?

I don't have an answer for that because I would want it to be like a fucking 23-year-old who's like super popular at the time. Like a TikTok star. Well, yeah. I mean, we're talking about years from now. You know? Well, you might die

right now. It's true. You might go right now. I hope not. Put this out in the universe. That's not... I mean, not... not that you dying, like the TikTok star. It could be right now. It's like Mr. Beast. Well, he's not a TikTok star.

Markiplier? How do you not know anything? But you know who that is. Miles watches a video with him sometimes. Okay. Who's the other one? Preston Plays. Who the fuck is that? Bro, it's this annoying little kid.

Who's teeth? I want to knock down his fucking throat. Preston Plays. He screams about playing video games and I want to hit him right in the teeth. Is he a child? He might be a couple years older than that. He's like 22. You could suck this.

Bro, I could suck him hard. He's like, all right, guys, it's me, Preston, and we're playing with Minecraft. I'm like, bro, shut your fucking dumb Christian mouth. He's a... He's a family-friendly American YouTuber best known for his various gaming content as well as his prank and challenge videos.

Yeah, his pranks are like, all right, one, two, three, four. I was like, please stop. Damn. Didn't know that. What were you talking about? I have literally... Can bear spell administration in my Google. What celebrity are you talking to if you're dead, Joe?

Right now, probably like Charlie D'Amelio. Oh, okay. You know, because I feel like she has a lot of attention. She's the one with the coffee at Dunkin' Donuts. I remember that. And she's getting a Hulu show, isn't she? Is she? I think she's getting a Hulu show. Well, she's like a very popular, like, tiktoker.

So I feel like it would just be funny for me if she was the one who came out and was like, I talked to the dead because the internet would be like, bro, shut up. And they're like, who? And they're like, 2011 YouTube sensation, Joe Sanagato. That's who it's talking to me.

Oh, my God. I thought it was like, who the fuck is that? Who the fuck with all the horny people at Walmart videos? Horny? I've had to have been a horny. What are you talking about? I don't know. Why did you say horny?

I don't know, dude. Didn't you have videos that were like crazy people at Walmart, horny people at Walmart? No, just people at Walmart. Oh, okay. You thought I had a video called horny people at Walmart. Joey, you had like 30 people at Walmart videos. They were all had the same title. If one of them I thought was a horny one, Joey.

I don't even know what a horny one would even consist of. Just people fucking in Walmart? I can't show that on YouTube. Buying a lot of lube? No. I would want to talk to Nicholas Cage. Yeah. That was my, that was his... What was that? That was my impression.

Got a steel declaration of independence. It's a, wait, it's a clue. Oh, that's not bad actually. It's a clue. Yeah, you know what? Because Nick Cage, Nick Cage a lot of, he gets a lot of shit, but yo, those national treasure movies hit. They are very good. They're good, dude.

That first one too, I was like, this is fucking fire. Dude stole the declaration. For God's sakes. The declaration of independence. I'm gonna show the declaration of independence. That's pretty good. Way better than your first one. That first one was hot trash.

I just made a noise, honestly. Because he's the type of celebrity that if he were to come out and be like, I talked to the dead. People would be like, that was good too. People would be like, yeah, that makes sense. But fucking, we were like, we thought you were dead. But fucking Vanessa Hudgens like, you know, like, you are the music in me.

Like, no one thinks that she's talking to the dead. Yeah, maybe I'll talk to Brennan Frazier. Ooh, that's a good, he's coming back. I know man, I'm psyched about that. 1999's The Mummy? Holy shit, dude. Honestly, one of the hottest guys I've ever seen in my life. Talk about American classic, and you know,

I'm gonna say this, you know how I know Joey loves Brennan Frazier? For like, a year straight, you watched this movie Bedazzled? Bedazzled, baby. Like, every other day, dude. We love that movie in my house. What was the girl's name, Elizabeth Hurley? That was a big year for her. Bro, she's a rocket ship.

That was, I remember you guys, she plays at the devil, right? She does. She's like, hello, I'm the devil. And he's like, ah. Do you ever see the gift of him at an award show? And like, he's like clapping, he's like. No. Oh my god, dude. Brennan Frazier gift, he's like.

Oh. It's so funny. Oh, he really does. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good one. I've never seen that. Yeah. Yeah, but I feel bad for Brennan Frazier, man. Bro, he, like, the story was that he had gotten so fucking hurt on the set. I think of, like, one of the mummy movies

that he had to, like, quit Hollywood and he, like, lost a bunch of money and now that he's coming back, people are like, bro, remember a couple years ago how he had, like, Keanu Reeves, Keanu Sons? Where Keanu Reeves, everyone was like, put him in everything. Yeah. We're having a Brennan Frazier Assance,

where, like, he's gonna be in Batgirl. He's in a bunch of shit now. He's in that show, uh. Fuck, I forgot the name of it. But, bro, Brennan Frazier's coming back, baby. I'm happy about that because I like Brennan Frazier and he also, like, bro, this guy. When he was at Georgia the Jungle?

Whoa. Not a great movie, good-looking guy, though. I don't even remember the movie, but Patazzle, also a good movie, but he wasn't that good looking in that. But Georgia the Jungle, rocket ship. Mummy, holy hell. I remember, there was a weird movie that he was in

that I remember that I watched so many times for some reason, called Monkey Bone, do you remember that one? No. It was, like, Chris Catan played, like, it was, like, he went to, like, The Land of the Dead with, like, this animated monkey. Chris Catan was in it. Weird, weird, not very good movie,

but I feel like every family has, like, weird movies that they've watched a million times and no one, like, really knows them. The Mask, Just Friends. Yeah, but those are popular movies. Bro, Just Friends was not that popular. Yeah, but now, like, everyone knows that movie. Now everyone's, like, an underrated classic

Just Friends, and it was, like, bro, I knew that in 2004. Yeah. It's front to back, I know that. Bro, that movie is one of the, the scene where Dusty Dinkelman hits the floor and he, like, hits on Jamie. Yeah!

He smacks the girl's ass. What? He smacks the girl's ass and the guy's with him. He goes, what? Bro, it gets me every single time. A little parts of it, you know, not aged so well, but still an icon. Which one?

Of Just Friends. Which parts? You watch it. I'm not going to repeat some of the language that they use in here, but, like, They say, like, gay stuff? It is an iconic movie, man. It is, it is, it is. Early Ryan Reynolds, early Anna Farris. Yeah.

Amy Smart, the young kid that was in every, like, teen movie at the time. What the fuck is his name? I knew it. It's like Chris Burem, something, something to be. Yeah, yeah, right. That's what it is, but I don't know. Stephen Root was in it.

Stephen Root. Stephen Root places the manager where he's like, I'm going to get angry, and when I get angry, I will fire you or something like that. Oh, I was thinking that. Yeah, I know. I'm hungry. Daddy wants a lobster or something like that. Yeah, yeah.

You know, any movie is bad, and then years later, Twitter just says it's underrated, and everyone's like, oh my god, we need to watch this again. Yeah. But Just Friends is an all-timer. Yeah, that's a big bomb. It is a big bomb. I don't know why I just said that.

Also, the last thing I want to do that I just want to talk about here before we get out of here, because, you know, we're already running. But there was a pop star hospitalized for holding in too many farts. A popular Brazilian singer, a songwriter.

Say it, Pocah. Oh, I think that's her name. Say her full name. Vivian de, oh boy, that's really Brazilian. Is it like de Fogo de Chao? No. Ferreira Fogo de Chao? No, but

she took a trip to the hospital around 5.30 in the morning, complaining of severe stomach pain, this diagnosis. After spending the previous night with her boyfriend, she had held in too many farts. Dude, blast off in front of your boyfriend. Dude, in the name of health, I get it.

But like, you ever see those like people like post videos, like Barstool has posted them a bunch, where like guys like go outside, and like on the ring doorbell you could see them just like, just blow in a fucking toot. Yes, I have seen that. The ring doorbell honestly was a great invention, not

just for like, what they do, like whatever, but just the content. Yeah, oh absolutely. Our good friend Ryan Lynch has an iconic tiktok with the ring doorbell. It gets like out of here B. Chill out B, chill, chill. And then it flies out of him. No, but wait, so what, so she went

to the hospital because she held in too many farts? Yeah, an accumulation of trapped farts. So how do you fix that? Because you know, you ever have to fart and you're like, I can't fart here, so you have to like suck it back up, and then your fart like kind of like folds in your stomach, and it just moves to a place, and you're

like, don't have to fart anymore, but it's in there. It comes out of your pores. Well, no bro, it just stays inside your intestines. Staying in your bundt. So if you if it happens again, you create more gas and keep sucking it back up, eventually your body's gonna go, bro, big time farts in here. Really? Yeah, and then you gotta like, I don't know. So what, so we got the girl,

our friend, the girl that got in trouble health wise for farting too much. Yes. The girl that was selling her plumps. Yeah. And then we got this girl who's holding him in. Listen, there's a happy medium. Just fart like a normal

person. But she's a pop star, bro. Bro, you could tell me if Taylor Swift came out and just farted in front of someone that fucking CNN wouldn't run a story of how gross she is? I think that Taylor Swift probably toots in front of her boyfriend and stuff. I assume when you have to hold, like, maintain that

level of, like, an image an image, you're not farting in front of people, you're, like, never pooping. You don't think Kim Kardashian's, like, fucking London Rip in front of Pete Davidson? She's like, watch this, and it's like pfft She's got a big ass.

Is that how it works? I think, I think the bigger the ass the larger the hole, and it's like Yeah. Damn, you think so? Dude, I think so. I don't think that's how that works. And he's probably like, damn, that's probably why they're together, honestly. You ever, like, sit in

your car and you fart and it comes, like, through your balls? What? Like, up my shirt, through my balls? Like, it, like, you're, like, sitting in the car and, like, because you're sitting in such, like, a tight spot, it, like, instead of, like, going out like that or, like, down this way, it, like, seeps right

up. Right around, like, your balls? And then comes out into the air. Never had that happen? I, uh, yeah, kind of, probably, but I've never thought of it in that one. Isn't it crazy? Isn't it nuts? That question, dude. Fart through your balls. Yeah, like,

fucking, like, like, it, like, runs around your balls. Yeah, it's like, we gotta get on. We gotta find a way. Yeah. Um, no, that sucks, man. This girl, how do you, how do you fix that with, like, your stomach pain? I mean, I think you just farted up. Do you think someone just, like, just, like, pushes her stomach down and then just, like, you probably

fucked something up and then eventually you're just, like, I'm gonna, like, for serious fart now. And she was probably farting for the next three days. And honestly, listen, if you're a pop star, don't hold in your farts. Learn from this girl. She was trying to hide farts from her boyfriend. Guess what? Now we all know you fucking

fart. Now we all know, yeah. Also, not for nothing, fart hard. You put yourself in the hospital, I've held in numerous farts. I've never been in the hospital, so you're farting harder than I am. Oh, I mean, I, I never hold it in, but, like, I'm also not, like, a glorified farter. You're like, watch this. Yeah, that's you, you son of a bitch. Don't

even sit here and try to pretend like it isn't. Me? Joey will be like, bitch! Like, you make a, you make a show out of farting. I don't, it's not a show. Well, for the only people in the room it is. What was her name?

Poca the Poca the Chow. No, her name was Churrascaria. Poca, but her name is Vivian de Quiero Pereira. Q-Roy? Q-U-E-I. Q-U-E-I, R-O-Z. I think it's Q-Roy, I could be wrong. Q-Roy, I don't know.

We got a kid, oh, you weren't in my kindergarten class. She's like, poca, she's like, oh my god, I can imagine now. She's like, oh, daddy, I need to do a farty chin. That's how Brazilians talk, bro. I did it at Brazillian in high school, so I know everything about the culture, dude. And he also can speak for that.

And I can speak for all of them. Just like he spoke for the gays. Everyone. I know a handful of gays, and I can speak for all of them, okay? Don't you ever fucking forget it. I have black friends, I swear. Just like Joey hangs out with all these fucking wealthy people.

He can speak for all of them, just like all those races you chill with. You can speak for all of them, too, dude. All those races you chill with. What were you telling me earlier? Oh, now you're going to make something out of your head. You're going to have statues in the south, like keep them. Oh, keep them up.

No, I'm saying that we should solidify them. Solidify them. We're going to put a stamp on them and say this is awesome. Robert E. Lee Day. Replace that with Christmas. We have Christopher Columbus Day, so it might as well. Yeah, well, I think that one's on its way out. It was renamed Indigenous Peoples Day, I think.

Christmas? Oh, no. Hold on. Back up. You thought Christmas was named after Christopher Columbus? Birthday. I said Christmas, so I got my wires crossed, but I know what you mean, but yes, it is that now. Yeah, I believe it is.

But we're going to end that there. Where can I find you, Frank? Well, you can... Hopefully on this episode next week, and I don't get canceled by the gay community and the Brazilian community. But the Brazilian community ain't coming after me. They don't know how to use the internet.

You can find... Wow. I definitely know how to use the internet. And they are, like, Stan fans of many pop stars. Well, I just don't... You never see it, like, when Justin Bieber tweets, like, you go under his tweet and you see people just going, come to Brazil.

Well, they do that with everyone. But mostly Brazil. You can tweet and someone will under it, right? You know, come to, you know, Bahrain. I'm talking about Brazil. Isn't that crazy that you have people that watch you all around the world? Yeah. That's pretty nuts, right?

Just like, you know, like, I love this show. That show is funny. They're having their cabbage stew. They're having their cabbage stew with haggis. And they're like, oh, them boys are funny. Oh, man. That's not Holy Sound. I don't like it.

Oh, I lost that at the end there. F-Alpha is 8085 on Twitter. The FreakAlpha is on Instagram. Go check out the Patreon. Patreon.com. Slash the Baseman Yard. Uh, we'll get us to 11,000. Joey's in the tank with a shark. Oh, God, yeah.

Go follow me at JoeSanaga. I'll go follow the show at the Baseman Yard on TikTok and Instagram, and that is all. See you guys next time. Have a good one.