The Basement Yard - #346 - The Man Who Tackled Dave Chapelle

Episode Date: May 16, 2022

Joe and Frank talk about the man who tackled Dave Chapelle Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard, Frank. How's it going, bud? I am here. Feels like I'm sitting in water, but I am here, baby. Oh, you're still. Yes. Is the wax still holding up? I can't speak for my bonch and the Trail of Tears,

as Greg so lovingly put it. Right. But the Mons Pubis area, there's it starting. What's that area? The Mons, that's the scientific, the Fupa, as I call it in my own head. As I call it in my mirror, that's the top of your day. The top, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The Mons Pubis? That's what it's called. I call it the Fupa, or fat over penis area. Wouldn't that be Fupa? Yeah, OK. Fupa, Fupa, got it. So that area, the grass is starting to poke through a little bit. Are you getting itchy?

The lawn was dug up a little bit. We tilled the dirt, and now it's starting to poke through a little bit. Yeah. No itchiness, no itchy. Frankie got a Brazilian wax. We have it on a video, patreon.com, slash the basement yard. So you can go check that out.

It's a 25 minute video, I think, of him just getting his bits torn to shreds. My kibbles and bits is going to become mush, yeah? Yeah. I didn't want to bring this up before you did it, but now that it's already done. OK, thank you. I think one of the worst parts about this

is as it grows in again. So this, I did a live on the basement yard Instagram the other night, the day that the video went out. And I said this, no one spoke about the aftermath. Yeah. Everyone harped on the waxing. The math, not the aftermath or the prior max, just the math. The present math.

The present math. The math that you were given. Everyone was just like, bro, it's going to suck. And I heard nothing about the recovery, you know? And I have since heard that people call it the prickly phase. Apparently, it's very sharp. Well, I mean, dude, I used to shave my dick when I was younger.

I used to shave my dick, too. So when I used to shave my penis, it would grow back and be prickly. And sometimes I'd be like, this is not sick. And then I was in like, and then when did you switch to the trim? Because you don't, do you shave your dick? No, no, no, I don't, I don't, you just buzz that. I just buzz that bad boy.

Yeah, you got to have a little, like, little character. Yeah, mowing the lawn, as they say. Yeah. I think I made this switch, like, early. Really? I made it late, babe. Oh, how late, dude? What's late?

I don't know. I would say, like, 20 is late. Oh, dude. I was getting dick hair at, like, 12, 13. Yeah, I don't remember when I started getting hairy penis. But I do know that I started using a trimmer, probably around, like, 20, dude. I've spoken about this.

So I was, like, razoring. You were, like, you were taking out, like, the leather belt and, like, going, like, what the fuck was that? I don't know. No, I was, no, like, a razor, like, they would use on your face. I would use on my dick. A straight razor? Not like a fucking, who are you?

Sweeney Todd? You're trying to fucking visceral one that I would take out of my lip and fucking cut my cock. You're fucking going to pump razor out of your mouth? No, I would use, like, a fucking, a Gillette, like, a mockery. Oh, OK, all right, gotcha. Gillette fusion. Something fusion.

Something, the one that vibrated? Hell yeah! Good for you, babe. Good for you. But I would never put it underneath or anything like that. You did. No, I didn't. You let it sit.

No. I can tell. I was never into vibration. I was you. You were into vibration. I was a very young lad that, way before I knew what the hell was going on. You used to vibe, you like the vibe, the bride break.

Well, it was good vibrations, uh-huh. It's just a sweet sensation. But I would say, was that fucking Mark Wahlberg? Marky Mark in the funky bunch, yes. Oh, you're quoting a man who beat up a Vietnamese man or woman? Excuse you, stabbed him in the eye. For racist reasons. Oh, sorry, I'm sorry.

Make sure you get the faster one. Get it right, you idiot. He stabbed him in the eye. I think he, like, stabbed it with an ice pick or some shit like that. Just for being Vietnamese. For not being white, I'm pretty sure. Well, boy, how quick we forget those two.

Do a crime through the time, you know? Once you get put in those Calvin Klein, uh, yeah. And to show that he wasn't racist, he supported the Boston police. What does that mean? It's a joke. I mean, I think it might be true. I think it's just funny because Boston is-

Hey, Mark, come on the show. But yeah, well, I don't think he's coming now. If he is, he's going to beat me up. Yeah. But I think I have a chance. He's like 5'8". Yeah, he's probably working out right now. Yeah, he works out, I think, like, eight hours a day.

Four at four in the morning, then he has, like, a peanut butter sandwich, and then he goes for a run, and then he eats protein. No, I heard that he, like, does, like, through the day, like, three hours of jump roping. Wild. Can you imagine? Even if I tried, I couldn't do that,

because my body, like, I get, like, six in, and then it stops. Isn't jump roping very interesting? Because there's only two groups of people that jump rope, and they're wildly opposite. Children. You have children, usually girls, that like to jump rop. Yeah, when we were kids.

And then you have boxers. I was going to say crossfit psychopaths, too. Well, them, too, but just, like, like, alpha dudes. Like, in the middle, we're all like, Yeah, and they get, like, No, no, everyone's like, OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No one f**ks a jump rope.

And they get, like, very aggressive with it. They can't just regular jump rope. That's too, like, not cool. They're like, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f

f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k and f**k and f**k f**k and f**k, f**k f**k f**k, f**k, f**k and f**k f**k, f**kk, f**k f**k, f**kk, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**kk, f**k, f**k, f**k f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k, f**k And I followed up with how would you even fucking respond to that? That's like some shit that you go. Yeah. Oh, yeah

What are you gonna say bro? All right Joey? Hi, it's me. I'm so sexy. We're doing it Frankie Stop what you're doing now I'm trying any other voice. I'm trying any other voice. Yeah, okay. Um, it's me Kermit Kermit Lee frog No, not good for you Uh, this is by the way, this is a patreon video. I've been pitching for weeks now. Okay, but it hasn't gotten off Wait, hold on make a make a mess. What would you how would you use it in a sense if you were a woman? If I was a woman, I'd be like just do it make a mess on me

That's not bad. Yeah, it's pretty like I would that's a very jarring thing to say Of course it is but you know people say stuff in the moment. You've never said something weird during sex And be like what did I say? Yes? I once called my asshole rough Uh I There's a lot of context to that one There's a lot of context During sex you

Refer to your own eyes Joey As rough how would that come up? If she was like you want me to you're like, it's rough be careful It's rough looking is what I was trying to say But also what oh because someone had asked like let me get a peep and you're like it's rough No, no, no like things are rough. They're not going right before Right before anything had happened any any any, you know goodies fondling, you know, hello. How you doing? I got you I was joking about like having a rough looking asshole

And then during I like started to giggle and it was like a rough asshole Oh, you just blurred it out. We just laughed again and uh It was funny, but that's it. I mean like I think there's something different to like When people are talking sexy or dirty, they try to make it more elaborate. They don't like to be as simple as possible It's not like, you know, you know have sex with me They have to that would be insane. They have to dress it up a little bit Also, you'd be having sex with them. No, well, no, just like I'll keep doing this sex. You know, it's You know, it's crazy. Can you imagine that?

Because usually like when you're like You know, it's about to happen. You're just like, um, fuck you But or like I'm or I want you to fuck me something like that, right? Not me. I'm saying for the woman Yeah, yeah, I'm sure. I swear to god. Okay, bro. I swear. I'm not kidding. Yeah. Yeah, uh, but It would how weird would it be if like there's that energy and you're in that moment and the girl's like I want you to Have have sex to me have sex with me have sex with me Is that weird? There's something weird about making it oversimplified. You know what I mean?

Oh, you want to have sex with me? I'd be like, that's a If during sex you say the term like the word sex, it becomes weird It's like breaking the fourth. Yeah, just like breaking the fourth wall Like you need to dress it up a little bit. You know, it's like, oh this fuck You know, no or like, oh my god, your penis your your cog this or just say this this Yes, yes, yes, yes sex is implied. We know exactly what you're referencing We know what we're here for we know what we're doing and what we're doing here You know, that's what is happening to us. You just say this this is great

I often think about like the terms that have been lost to time for sex Like what were the ancient greeks saying? You know what I mean? Like what do they have back there? Like vases art and like You know non filtered water. So like what were they talking about during sex? You know what I mean? Because like today greeks shit. I don't know but like what like what like what is so greek? Like yo, like that's you fuck me in a field of reeds, you know, like reeds. Yeah, it reads, you know, like the tall grass Oh, I don't know. I'm not familiar with the term. Um, I thought that was just wheat I think I think it's a weed a reed of wheat read it in wheat

You had me for a second I was gonna go oh that makes sense when it's not an expression Read them and weep, but that's what I think of it was like in ancient times like What what was their way of talking dirty? You know what I mean? Like shakespeare shakespeare was making up words left and right What was he saying in bed pussy is now he wouldn't say pussy. He wouldn't say pussy. He would say like Some like super extravagant kitty. No Why are you sticking with the cat? I don't know. I feel like they Catted it up back now. He'd be like thy thy thy glorious. Well, they used to say bosom, but that was like titties bosom was Bonkers. Yeah, that was that was tits. Yeah, those were hammers, but what was vagina

Vagina what was yeah shakespearean word for vagina? It's got to be like shakespearean opalescent crevice or some shit opalescent crevice That's awesome shakespearean word for vagina Slanging slaying and sexual language Bro give me I give me a whole article. Oh, what is it saying? Oh Is it good or bad? Really give me a hint. These are just

I'm gonna say a word. Okay. Okay, then you gotta tell me what these are. These are shakespearean terms Only you can only do like two because this can be a good patreon video. Yeah, it could um Sorry, um You know what I'm not even gonna do this we could probably do this another time But uh, the vagina was a house House a house they went house. Yeah, like kick kick the door into your house like she's got a like a really nice house Whoa I don't know how they would use it in a sense, but they don't know either house. I don't know either or a case

A case. Yeah, let me work your case either a lawsuit or a vagina. I want to work your case Yeah, I'm trying to like bust open this case. Wow crack the case wide open crack the case Whoa, dude, dude need a public defender for that case. Oh, yeah. All right. Now. We're getting real legal go outside And let me tell you I got a I got a wild labor law case back home right now. Yeah, dude I didn't know that Pi well pi we've heard, you know, hi. I've heard that as well. Poon Tang pies. Yeah Wait You know, these are crazy, man. All right. Don't don't tell me we'll have to do this in another video or something because people

So a score is a vagina a score that might have something to do with like when people talk about like getting something Like yo, I got a huge score at the fucking farmers market yesterday Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know you got like you got you use your coupon I'm sure scored that was what like fucking like you score coke like fine I was gonna say that's what like finance bros in the 80s probably called it like yo, I found this girl scored big time Oh, yeah, it's like a nice score. Yeah, or you say like yo, I'm trying to like score some coke trying to oh I was not gonna go coke. No. Yeah, I didn't know I didn't know that was a coke thing 100% people like I'm trying to like yo, you know anyone you know anywhere I could score some coke. Why score?

I don't know bro. They fucking grew up in a weird house. That's yeah. I mean definitely one with coke at least Yeah, and the last one I'll say okay Fist What does that mean? I would I would assume it's the act of Uh fisting No, um, what give me a sentence I I don't there isn't one. Oh, you can't make up a Shakespearean sentence with the word fist in it. That's tough dude. They spoke like

Weirdos they did uh fist means punch. Okay, or masturbate Oh, I would fisted myself Bro, what I'm upstairs fisting. Don't come in guys are just upstairs telling people they're fisting themselves I guess There's a lot of a lot of confused people back then also who would masturbate like Oh, no, well, I think that the general. Oh Are you kidding me? You didn't realize that joey that makes so much sense

because it looks like a fist when you're You didn't realize that it looks like a like you're fucking fighting someone when you're jerking off That's a good one. Well, how do you jerk off like this? No, I'm saying this makes sense. I just didn't think that's what they meant I was thinking of someone punching their penis Dude, I can't believe that. Yeah, that's where you went. I don't know bro. Do they call up vagina house? Well, you know, I mean it if you think about it. It is a house It it is home to sometimes one or more people Children yes children or or one or more other people too or yeah fully grown men fully grown men

You know, it's cozy. Yeah warm, you know definitely warm without not so well lit. They need some templating in there Yeah, hang up some, you know some strings and and sometimes it does flood a little flooding You know, you know not not perfect, but it is too regular homeowner stuff It's near it's near a landfill and and nowadays they're really hard to even afford Oh, well, you ain't kidding. I mean you see in the housing market interest alone I know, you know those things go up and value every single day I know all to fight inflation and also you could flip one You definitely could

That's what you do. Don't you don't you buy you just bought a house You just you you've been telling me recently that you've wanted to buy so many houses No, you you flipped a house. I you bought a house. I bought a house for myself that was flipped It was someone else had flipped it. I bought the house for myself. It's my house now But they only had it up for a little while. They did it was a little while You know we're talking about it You've been telling me that you've been wanting to get into the house buying and flipping And say something that I said something that was racist to get ahead. No, no, no

Joey, you don't say things that are racist anymore. I would say No, no, no Where are you going with this housing? Oh, I was I was uh, we're gonna make a joke about you getting wealthy enough to start to sell people But it would have taken me a little while to get there. Yeah, I was like, where are we going? Yeah, a little bit Um, now that we've just talked about selling people human trafficking. Uh, let's get to these ends. Get to these ends. All right Human trafficking um First one we have here is liquid iv liquid iv. It's gonna keep you hydrated also gonna keep you

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Okay, uh, moving on obviously we have to talk about this thing that happened very important very important. I don't know but very crazy crazy Dave chappell oof was attacked on stage. Yeah at the hollywood bowl. Yeah, where do you stand on chappell one of the greats? 100% greatest of all time in my opinion I would say he's up there. Yeah, I would say he's up there. I would say he's up there I mean, I I can't see you're top five. I can't sit here and say I've seen You know a bunch of prior or a bunch of eddy, but from what I've seen of You know stand-up comedians Dave chappell top three in my opinion. Yeah, mine's

Carlin They're making a new documentary on him. It's coming out on HBO max. Yeah. Yeah, that's gonna be a goodie. I love carlin Um, anyway, but Dave chappell was on stage and someone just like ran the stage and tackled. Oh, yeah, and uh, apparently he had a Okay, this is what I heard. I don't know if this is true That he just like tackled Dave chappell and like ran away then a bunch of people like immediately ran after him one of them being Jamie Fox. Yeah, and the other I heard also involved

Busta bust. Oh, yeah bustle rhymes bustle rhymes. Who's not a small man. No. No. No. Have you ever seen bustle rhyme shirtless? Yeah, yeah. Well, no. Oh, he's pretty pretty jack. I've actually seen bustle rhymes in person a big guy One of the biggest I have a big neck this guy's neck bigger than the rock neck wise Yeah, wow, bro in his head I don't think he could play on the NFL because there's not a helmet I could fit Probably the biggest head I've ever seen. He's still got the long dreads. I haven't seen him in years. No, he's got short hair Touch it one of the best songs of the 2000s. Touch it remix. That's a that's a remix. That's a remix. All right

Papoos first. Papoos gotta get on this club banger smack you in your mouth make you swallow your pump razor. There you go Full circle. Yeah Um Bro, but yeah, they beat the shit out of this guy and his I saw a video of him and the guy the kid who like tackled him I think it was like 23 years old. Yeah We all make mistakes. That was a mistake. Hold on First of all, apparently he had like a fake gun on him. That's what I wanted to get to that inside had a knife

A knife. Yes, right and For anyone out there that's trying to stab somebody I'm going to give you free advice. Usually I charge for this kind of advice You're getting this but I'm going to give you free criminal advice. Okay. If you want to conceal a knife The Last place you want to hide it is in a gun That's the last place Yeah, the dead last place

It's actually incredible how this man was able to find the worst Hiding spot of all time for a knife in a gun. No one's going to see that and not immediately be like like that's immediately worse That's like hiding cocaine Inside a heroin needle. Yeah, like that that's so stupid because I mean both big big big problem Wouldn't you say? Would you say? Yeah, I I saw that and I think the real story of this whole thing was first of all, how the fuck Did he get on stage? It looked like he just like hopped up. It looks like he comes from the side though

I know, but it looked like there was like a big crowd and it looked like he just like Hopped over a railing or something and ran at him Bro, and my understanding Dave Schiphol's not a small guy. Well Dave Schiphol's huge She's like six two six three right and he's like not skinny anymore. Yeah, he's not skinny anymore. He's he's he's put on some pounds Got tackled though. He got bro I don't care who you are If you can tackle someone that big that's kind of impressive. I don't know who this kid is apparently 23 years old didn't look that good Also left there in shambles, bro. Yeah, that was the other part of this is that he got the fucking

Pissed me out of him. You see how my arm can bend this way like it bends like this His arm was this way. Yeah, I don't know how it was going the opposite like picture my arm Bending this way, but I'm just like straight. You ever see you ever see a flamingo Flocked you ever see a flamingo how flamingos are legs bend the opposite way Yeah, just yo, bro. That's he got kicked in the worst legs in the animal kingdom Oh, yeah, they're really bad think about this if they made chairs for flamingos. What would they look like if they made chairs for flamingos What would they look like? I don't think they sit

Listen to me Joe based off of their legs. This is a fun question critical thinking. Yeah, what would they look like? reverse chairs Boy, you're a ball of fun I don't know like it would it would be like an opposite way chair. Okay This is my thing you don't have an answer to that. I don't it's critical thinking There's no that's like if you can if you were standing on a desert island you can only bring one pair of shoes What what shoes would you bring? No, that's that's not the question

It's like if you could only wear one pair shoes for the rest of your life What shoes would it be? You don't need to how many door are there more doors or windows like you don't need an actual answer It's just critical thinking people want to see that you can do it. You've never got a job interview. Joe. What shoes would you wear? I was asked this question Uh for an interview in college for a job I got And I said snow shoes

That sucks Okay, did you say why I said because if it snows I have shoes But what if it doesn't snow? You said snow shoes. Wait, are you referring to the shoes that have tennis rackets on them? They hired you This company is obviously dissolved and they don't exist anymore, right? University of New Haven office of residential life, baby Snow shoes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

It was bad. You'd never need small shoes. You know that Because we live in New York City I I know now Snow shoes, but that was my answer I was thinking like a color of a shoe. Oh a white pair of sneakers I mean, yeah, like people would say like, you know, like converse because they're versatile or like sketcher boots because they're super cool And you said snow shoes That's like almost like the only worse answer than that is like rollerblades. Yeah

Well, hold on because I could be on the go. No, rollerblades would actually probably be a better answer. Joey They're both terrible answers. I mean, what is significantly worse in my opinion and it was the one that I got You were do you did you I didn't honestly? I've never gone on like a job interview like that where they've ever asked me a question like that Do you have more of those? Um, well like the are there more doors or windows in New York City? Well, I know that but I'm saying like on a job interview that you actually went on they they Yeah, they just asked you for critical thinking questions not like there's no right or wrong answer They just want to see how you can kind of discuss and think in the moment. You know

Oh, yeah, it's it's a weird like job interview thing. I love you must have crushed the rest of that interview because that part they were like I don't mean to boast but I will I actually from what I was told got a perfect score They score it Yeah, no shoes. No shoes, but of all the people to Attack my understanding is that like there's like a there's like a posse of black comedians. It's like eddie griffin Eddie murphy, you know, Dave Chappelle, kevin heart Like they all like have like a very notorious like group with them

It's like they've got their posse and a lot of that is security Why the fuck would you go after them because they would they would bro. They would kill you Probably still mad about uh his comments on trans people or something Well, I think he so during like someone recorded it when it happened and afterward he says my god. It was a trans man He said that yeah, chappell said that and then uh And then chris rock came on stage and said it was will smith. Oh, yeah, he's like was that will smith? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I didn't see that But bro this guy got the like if you guys haven't seen the videos or pictures of this guy

He was loaded in an ambulance and taken bro his arm was backwards his half of his face Someone tweeted and they were like why the fuck this this guy leaving the the show looking like mojo jojo And I almost pissed my pants Bro, he got Fucked up and I've always been like the type to be like, you know like how bad could it be when you get stomped out It was he got stomped out bad. It was bad, dude. Yeah, I've never been on the receiving end of a stomping Yeah, I don't think it Have you been on the the stomping end?

Um Yes, you've stopped someone out. I have stomped someone. What were you wearing snowshoes? No, that probably actually would have been better. Yeah, I was on crutches at the time And I stopped hold the fuck on you stomped someone out While on crutches. Yeah, bro. I'm a badass motherfucker with your with the crutch or with your with my with my foot that was in a leg brace So I didn't use my good foot I was on my good foot You were stomping someone out with your this is when you tore your ACL. Yes. Yes. Yes. So you with a torn ACL leg

Yeah, you stopped someone out. Yes Yeah What did they do? Um, so my brother had gotten into a fight with someone who will remain nameless And uh, I think I've told you this story if I haven't told you I've told them Frankie I would remember a story where you were in a leg brace stomping someone out. Yeah I was uh, so it was like december of 19 of 19 That's due reason december of 09 And my brother was like in this like embroidered like in bro in this feud basically with this kid

And it all started because the kid told my brother. I'm glad your cat died Fire fire, bro. That's mystique. That was sticky lu. I know that was my son your cat. They did son my cat Um, and my brother didn't like it. Yeah, and it was my They were like going back and forth and basically said like yo like next time I see you I'm gonna I'm gonna fuck you up. My brother said this. This was over like my space. I assume Oh, yeah, absolutely my space facebook, you know, maybe a little in person, but you know not a lot and uh They I got this kid ran into the I don't know if I could say that the kid that came and told me that what was going on Okay, uh, his name is brian

Okay, uh Yeah, I know. Yeah put two and two together I know came into my house and he goes yo, they're at the corner. They're gonna fight. So I crouched my way out And I see my brother and this person face to face and my brother's like I always talk about my brothers as having lisp's Never really had like a big lisp. I mean when they were like seven Yeah, but it's funny in this situation to use the lisp because I remember

The person being in my brother's face and being like, yeah, I said you I wanted your cat to die What the fuck are you gonna do about it and my brother like looking with my other brother twins Over his shoulder looking at me going like with many said my cat wants to die What the hell do you think I have to defend my cat like my cat's dead like it hurt my feelings So I watched My other brother you gotta ride from a stick. I gotta ride or die for a stinky loo. I watched my other brother move The one out of the way the one out of the way. Yep go to this kid

Pick him up Oh And threw him over his shoulder and just started wailing on him And then you and then I went in and got a couple kicks in right of course, you know a couple stompings nothing crazy This was a child. This was a child. I was also a child. Okay. I want to make that very clear By the way age difference only two years. Okay, so I was 17 a 15 year old 17 year olds fighting 15 year olds That's okay. You could stop out at 15 rolls at 17. Absolutely Now

You'll get into a couple troubles. Yeah But yeah, and then uh, that was it. I I had to like a little story Yeah, I had to like press the kid one more time because he was also talking more shit And uh, damn. He was like, yo, you're fucking stupid broken leg didn't even hurt me. I didn't even I wanted to put this in today's episode. I got Sunned so hard this morning this morning this morning. Tell me who's your daughter 55 year old woman worse even better I'm waiting. I'm sorry real quick, you know real quick. I'm waiting to get don't worry. That's the point of the show. Yeah I'm waiting to get into the Holland tunnel And there's like a lane where it's a turn-only lane, but like I was coming out of a

Like a gas station parking lot. So I went to go get in And I I go like this and I see the car next to me creeping up and I look over and this White 55 year old woman with big ass brown hair just is just looking at me like this He's not fucking around not fucking around. So I don't break eye contact. So I just I swear to god 15 seconds. We're staring at each other and she looks at me and she goes No Bro, I started didn't let you in didn't let me in I started dying laughing I couldn't help it like at that point

I put what you go aside and I was like, you know what a psychological warfare That was I was like, you know what good for you. You you could take it, but she sunned the shit out of me, dude It hurt, but she won that one. She and like didn't break. She was just like She had big brown hair big brown hair. Her name was definitely like like imagine like miss Santora Damn, that's some big fucking hair. Yeah Her name is definitely like Lorraine. Yes, and she's went No And I went I just started dying laughing. I was like, okay

If she had been like get your fuck my fuck beep beep, then I want to cut her the fuck off Nice, but I didn't Yeah, I've been trying from pretty uh, I've been cutting some people off lately, honestly. Yeah, yeah Gotta do what you gotta do. Maybe it's new york city. Well, you know it is I don't cut people off like on the highway like a dangerous cutoff. I cut off people that are like Waiting to get off of the exit and I'm like, well, yeah, I'm just gonna you gotta I gotta it's weird People don't understand You need to be an aggressive borderline

Destructive driver in new york city in order to get where you want to get just gotta send it You gotta be like, I don't care if this car lives or dies Literally you need to not care about any bumps nicks or scratches to your car Speaking of the complete opposite happened to me. I took an uber to the city the other day I went to brunch and we had with my friend julian and The uber driver Legit like this isn't me making it up at one point. I have a video on my phone because I was filming the spedamen He didn't go over 21 miles an hour the entire time

We have to take a fucking highway to get there And when we were in the city, no one in front of us 17 miles an hour I'm like, this guy's fucking with me Because everyone's just passing us and he's driving 17 miles an hour It was like a prepaid uber or was it like paid by the mile? I don't I don't pay by the time I don't know how it works, but I was like fuck. What is going on? Yeah, that's tough. And also the whole back seat was ripped up Like a fucking big-ass cat had gotten at it

Bro, you need to for other people's lives You need to just have like a 40 year vet cab driver on the show Because I can only imagine the stories they have bro people are fucking in cabs People are like doing drugs in the back of them and shit like that Do you ever do some sexual stuff on a cab? No, no uber. No, I don't think so Really? That seems a little dirty because New York City Ubers are just taxis. There's no like the taxi limousine service. Well No, they are they're better than taxis. No, they're they're literally they are taxis like they are taxis

But I'm saying like the like a yellow cab. You can get a yellow cab on uber. I've done it No, no, no, I know what I'm saying like typically like an uber is like a like a like a Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear what you're saying. It's a better card than like a taxi That's you gotta think beats shreds since the 70s. You gotta be think about what's in there though I know, but I'm not like rubbing my what kind of well what kind of sexual things you're doing in the back of cards then Joe Hand stuff. Oh Little mouth. Oh I'm mouth. I mean making out

Or are you putting mouth you putting mouth on the underworld? Well, I'm not Are you whispering to Hades down there Joe? What are you doing the mouth underworld in the house in the house In my house you're scoring You're scoring in my under my roof. Excuse me. Are you scoring in the house right now? um, yeah Not no wait That's not what I meant. What you said. Yeah, what I said if you put your mouth in the underworld, we're moving on. Oh, oh, you're not

Yeah, hey, don't rush a comedian stage because you'll probably get the fucking life. I forgot to warn out. Yeah, Dave Chappelle Yeah, yeah, don't don't rush people on stage. Just a little psychotic people. Yeah And if you do you deserve the whooping that's coming for you who what what comedian was it that said like, you know If you run just know that there's a whooping following you or something like that I don't know, but I do remember when we went to Segura's show. He was like I'm he's like if you don't like anything that I'm gonna say up here I don't care and you and if he said something like if you come up here I'll like fucking yeah, he said he's like and you're going to stay in your fucking seat. Yeah, that's what he said

Right. Um, all right, let's get to the let's get to the second batch second batch. Yeah We do have true bill true bill is the new app that helps you identify and stop paying for subscriptions That you may or may not be paying for whatever is going on It's going to help you identify the ones and you can cancel the ones that you're not using A lot of us they we sign up for like free trials or you subscribe to a thing that you haven't used for a really long time And you realize you know what I shouldn't be paying eight dollars a month for this I'm not even using it or like I don't even remember signing up for this thing Or I forgot to cancel this free trial. So true bill will help you save some money

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And that's the promo code basement for twenty dollars off of your first c geek order Um, so yeah, go check out a show go do something fun. You know, and then you go do it Um, you know what else is super fun? What babe? uh nudes Go on You need to give me some more context there joe go on

so nasa Is gonna start launching naked pictures of humans into space in hopes that it attracts aliens This is a risky move Yeah, yo, steven hawking who's the guy in the he would died. He had the Yeah, I know who you're referencing. Yeah, he went down But he actually said he was sad how you talk about people that died. They went down. He went down But he well, or maybe I think he was a good guy. He went up

But I meant he went down. He went down like he fell down and didn't get up. That's what I mean like Death wise. Yeah. Okay. All right. Yeah. He's fucking dead. He's gone So steven hawking smart guy astrophysicist. I think I don't know one of those thermonuclear scientists would talk through a computer too pretty smart So he Actually came out and said when he was alive because he's dead now like I said before. Yeah, I know I remember that He said he's like, yo, we should not try to get aliens to come here Don't do it because he was saying like

Anytime in nature on earth, I guess that a stronger thing has come along It's kind of like enslaved or taken advantage of the other thing. So if they're better than us, which let's be serious Then they'll come here and they'll fucking enslave us If yeah, like why if we can't get to them We shouldn't be asking them to come to us because then there are like they are just better Yeah, I will say this when I first read this thing I'm like we're sending nudes to space and by the way, they're not actual pictures of like You know, someone's wife just standing there and her fucking tits are out. They're digitally made

Oh And they're and yeah, so it's like a digital picture of like what humans look like Oh, I thought they were just gonna send fucking playboys and penthouses up to you know, although that would be fire Just like bro aliens if they just get like the 2003 torrey wilson edition Bro, can you imagine or a dude if I'm an alien all of a sudden I get that fucking Naomi Campbell one I'm like, bro. We might have to take a little trip to earth Yeah, just like hit up your boys like gleeplorp and kimchong and then just be like, yeah, we got to go over to this earth place Yeah, I should be like, yo, there's some stuff down there. We got to explore and see yeah

This is a really aggressive and risky move because I will say though. I think that's how you get someone's attention. This here. Yes Here's my thing in the animal kingdom because we're assuming that you know the Aliens we all have our animal Debbie the bottle told told us not to call them aliens, but we don't care. Yeah, um Extraterrestrials, let's say yes They're part of the alien kingdom. I mean the animal kingdom. Oh fuck The animal kingdom They're all about like whoever's got the bigger penis Is the coolest and like the most aggressive like yo like lions come out and they're like, yo

Look at my junk and I'm gonna rip your fucking head off. I don't know if that's true. It is well baboons. They don't do They don't do dicks. They do asses, but well, yeah, because they got wild. They have like inverted red ass Yeah, whoever's not the redder ass It's all fucked up whoever's like the most ready to have sex is like a trap Is like I can see that why people would like that also they're big on smells in the animal kingdom Like if you stink they're like, yo like in the animal kingdom. It's all about like who's got the bigger Chest or who's got the more like scars on their fucking who's gonna beat up this guy? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah So like what if aliens if they see like what are we putting on this guy?

Yeah, are we putting out just you know, oh, no the the digital picture is not he doesn't have a big piece What it's a whack dick. Yeah, why not dude? I don't know we're fucking we're no I know I think we should put out the best of the best. We got to show them a massive wang Yeah, that could scare someone into fucking with us. Like oh, he's got careful We should put like a like a digitally hot dude with like a fat wainer and then like a like a like a just a thick woman was like yeah big boo ja ja a fat butt butt snatched waist just I just said

That was the oldest I've ever sounded I just think about it like this we're men We immediately believe that men with bigger penises are better than us. I don't believe that So if we're gonna send stuff out, I don't believe that but go ahead It's what men do dude. Right. Yeah. No, you think that men judge each other upon like, you know, like how like kind they are No, men are like who's got the bigger dick. That's the alpha male here the apex predator so to say Right. I'm more in touch with the animal kingdom Clearly and I'm saying If we're gonna send pictures of nudes

Digitally created. Yeah, just make them look Make them look cooler. Make them look great Also, are you putting pubes on this thing or are you giving them a landing strip? It's a good question these are all questions It does make sense to send naked pictures though because if you sent like clothes, they'd be like the fuck is this? Yeah, what's kiff? Aliens would be like, yo, what is what is kiff? Yeah, what the fuck is that? What would be if you were to create a top a bottom a middle and a top For a digitally created human

What would it be who would it who would it take from What the fuck are you talking like for instance my bottom would have to be John ham for no reason other than you know, what does the bottom mean like the waist down waist down Midsection chest up. Oh, you would do John ham. John ham from the waist down For no nothing other than obvious reason. Right. Well, what would be yours? Are you asking me my favorite dick? Because it sounds like that's what you're asking me

And also you snap answer John ham's your favorite dick. I didn't know no, I'm not saying it's all dick I'm just saying like who's got some nice legs on you got some good legs, dude like the rock I don't know, but I've never seen the rocks pace. Yeah, but you've seen him in a wrestling, you know attire Apparently golberg is is just you know got a shin guard for a cup. Yeah. Yeah, maybe I'll go golberg then Golberg for the lower waist midsection Who's just absolutely shredded? Um Prime Jackie Chan

Okay, all right joe I like that and then and then Chest up. I like the inclusivity here too. By the way, I gotta say Henry Cavill From the chest up. That's a good one too. He's a wide man. Yeah, so from the waist down you went with it I believe golberg is a jewish american boy golberg's a jewish Is he really? goldberg Yeah, I thought I could be wrong and I'm gonna get canceled. Yeah, I mean, hold on

If not, we gotta we gotta make some edits Bill golberg he was reform jewish. Okay. Okay. Well, I'm not wrong there. Yeah, you went the midsection of a chinese man And then you went the upper half of a break of a break. Yeah from from blackpool Is that actually I don't know they do a lot of pulls out there. Yeah, um, but yeah, okay. I'm saying lower half This is tough. I want good powerful legs But john ham. Yeah, he's got a good powerful third leg Uh, I'm gonna I'll go with the rock midsection i'm going like

Like neighbors zack effron Okay, top like chest up i'll go The haters zack what about baywatch? I didn't see that one. It was ripped up. Okay. Let's go baywatch zack effron and then from the chest up Who's like a really handsome, dude? uh Chris I was gonna say I was gonna say chat with bozeman. That's a really handsome boy. He's gone. But or yeah, we can go with chris evans

I'm not into chris evans. Uh, ejers elba That guy's hot as shit. We could go uh an oscar isaac. Honestly, you could just send ejers elba. You could just send What does ejers elba, bro? Honestly because you sent him. Nessa, I know you're watching your digital creation for the man Make it ejers elba Bro, I thought you said nessa. I was like, who are you talking to nessa? Yeah, nassa. Yeah, yeah I'm just hoping they don't send a picture of me Yeah, I don't want to be the first thing that an alien sees They'd see the picture. They'd be like, I could tell he's let himself go. Yeah, they're gonna look at him and be like

Let's just blow it up Or maybe You send Whack-looking nudes so and again so that so that they go oh, dude We'd be wasting our time because like they're not even be good slaves for us and they leave. That's a good. Yeah. Yeah Send like someone that's like so that's maybe why they sent a small winner. Someone that's built like toby maguire Yeah, just like just like plain just short and wimpy and just plain. Yeah, michael sarah Yeah, send a picture of naked michael sarah to the aliens. Yeah, and just be like, well, this is what we got. Yeah, all right

Yeah Him and like justin long or something Yes, that's a good little shrimp to offend more people. Yes, let's do it Yeah, yeah, um I'm I don't know what the aftermath of this will be like what if they see it. What do they do? Like I don't know. They've been trying to communicate with aliens for a while now. I I uh I remember that they like send to like a bunch of like Radio waves or whatever however you communicate. Yeah, I'm like digital morse code into the galaxy

Hoping that to get something back, but we haven't gotten anything back yet yet Let's hope we never do but now we're sending cocks out there. So you never know typical men NASA must be run by men. It's like we try talking to them. We try talking to you. So we just send our dick We're gonna get the aliens are gonna send a thing back saying sorry i'm busy and we're gonna send a picture of a dick back Saying busy on this. Yeah, yeah It's like sorry, but it's just like whatever. You're a fucking slut alien. Anyway. Yeah. Yeah. We don't want you here anyway, bitch That's so Talking to them, but they didn't listen. They didn't send anything back. So I center my cock

It's like a typical like bumble profile where you see like earth is saying like hey, hey, what's up? Want to talk? You're beautiful and nothing comes back We send a picture of our dick and then they respond back like no, thank you and it's like fuck you. You're a whore anyway. You're ugly I always thought you were ugly I was drunk all those times I messaged you Oh my god, you're a joke. Yeah, dude. I saw that one time recently where it was like Some girl was posting something like that where it's kind of like this guy mess you're like, hey, what's up? Uh, blah blah blah and like it's just not answering. It's like you're a joke. That's what he wrote

It's like you're a joke. You think you're better than people. You're a joke. That's a good one. Yeah, it's amazing Um, and then lastly, I then I have here is that triple Okay Tropicana made a cereal where you pour orange juice as like the milk That's way too much orange juice. Why what could it be that it makes it good? It's just called tropicana crunch cereal made from oj. So it's a it's an orange juice cereal

That you're adding orange juice to So it's just orange juice on orange juice who came up with this idea a fucking third grader Well, yeah, probably Well, we tried in the santa gato studio video. We tried Uh frosted flakes in orange juice Not good spoiler Not not at all not good at all frosted flakes though. That is good. I had some a couple weeks ago That's what I got my pantry right now, babe

I got oops all berries I got honeycombs And honeycombs, that's a good one. I always liked eating honeycombs and then it's like sucking them to be flat Yeah, you've talked about that you freakazoid because there's holes under the porous I know what they are. So you could put the you could put milk in it and just go You flatten it and eat it. What's wrong? I don't know Yeah, no, this doesn't sound appealing in the slightest because I don't Like orange juice is I can't sip orange juice. I need to chug it

Or I need champagne in it Definitely need champagne in it and you just got me really excited. Yeah. Um, it's the year of the mimosa, by the way I don't know if I told you that is it is it. Yeah. Yeah, what why dubbed it you dubbed it I've had enough this year to to like put my stake in the ground and saying like that's a good title for a year Yeah, that's what I mean Like I've had more this year than any year in my life And it's not even summer yet. I have there was one year. It must have been like 2015 or 2016 In the fall where I had a lot of mimosas

Like an unhealthy amount of mimosas. There was a couple weeks back where I had uh mimosas three days in a row Oof wasn't my fault though. It's there's something about mimosas that is like guilt-free, you know Dude, it's orange juice man healthy alcoholism Champagne whatever are you gonna? Almost choked. Yeah, are you gonna try the cereal? Fuck no, what if I get it? Okay, okay I feel like we need we owe it to ourselves in order I feel like this is not a serial

They're gonna be able to see also one thing that I was looking through the article that they had I uh And then I ran to this thing. They also made a toothpaste Putt putt. Yeah, Tropicana made a toothpaste So it doesn't ruin your oj. Bro. You think you're not gonna first of all very smart A good marketing plan. I guess you think that they're gonna go through the research development and planning and execution of making something Not to try to sell it for a profit Dude toothpaste that doesn't ruin oj That's very smart

It says dropping November 1st. Oh, it's limited edition That well, I think the cereal is out now. What would that possibly taste like? Bro one time when I was super young we had a toothpaste that was like bubblegum flavor Oh, no, it was at my aunt's house at Pete's house. Oh, okay. They had a good tasting toothpaste I ate some. Oh, it's okay. No wrong with that. No, I ate some Wait, wait, wait, like when you were brushing your teeth. No Wait, what? I brushed my teeth with it and I was like, this is really good

And you and then after I was after the brush brushing. Yeah had commenced I ate some stop. Yeah, why would you do that? Because it tasted really good Also, you got to keep that fucking medicine away from me the bubblegum medicine Oh, the if that was within my reach if they didn't have that like tourney thing that I hadn't figured out yet because I was a child Yeah, I still I would have If you could possibly hurt yourself

With that, I would have been hurt bad. Yeah, I would have drank the entire thing I think you can't or you would have been high as a motherfucker. You can get high off of like medicine cough syrup Is that cough syrup? I think it's there's some of it. That's cough syrup. Oh, well, if not, there's drugs in it, dude Dude, I would have been fucking too much drugs. You'll be drugged up Yeah, they're my shit up. There are some children's toothpaste I think it's crest it has like a little like little like shimmery like things in it. It looks like confetti That's pretty delicious. Oh, yeah, there's like confetti. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, pretty good like flakes and like a blue strip in the middle I have to admit one time

I use miles of toothpaste once just once just to feel like a kid again What why is it different? Because it's a kid's toothpaste. So what does it taste like? Awesome Why don't they have that for adults because people are like you're an adult now? You need to be serious. Here's something that's going to burn the fucking enamel off your teeth because it's so hot I don't want that. It does the same. I'm take I'm using that fucking. Yeah, bro If anything, it's probably better because with kids they need to be stronger, dude

I don't know what you just do with your bottom lip, but I hated that so much Dude, I want better tasting shit. Also better ingredients shampoos They smell awesome for kids. Yeah, like no cry shampoo. That's a great idea I get shampoo in my all the time. I don't cry. Bro. L'Oreal tear-free. Are you kidding me? Tear-free me, bro. Also make the bottles look like fish. Bro. That's what I'm saying. Those L'Oreal bottles that green bottle They look like a fucking fish. That's fire. Awesome. Awesome, dude. My shit just looks like this. Fuck you. Yeah, bro Oh, oh, oh, I'm not gonna offend any of our sponsors because they have great products Well, like it's in a black, you know or a regular colored and it just looks no, dude

I want a face. I want a fish. I want I want my shampoo bottle to be SpongeBob Yes, yes Yeah Fuck yeah, dude. Why did we grow up and become not fun anymore? Why don't we start taking ourselves seriously? Why because I got to pay taxes I need a not fucking new shampoo. That's a nine in one and it smells like strawberry jam Well, you get to you preserve it a little more than other people. You have a bunch of toys and stuff But but for me, I don't have any of that stuff. So I want some I want some fish. Yeah, you have nothing just a fucking lego

Of an f1 car. You're a kid at heart too, Joey. We all want to be kids at heart You're gonna tell me it didn't hurt when Toys R Us closed down. Yo, I'll be honest with you I'll be honest with you right when Toys R Us closed down. I was totally fine and then I saw On the there was a sign on one of the doors at to this place and I legitimately Got tiered up. Yeah, I forgot what it said It said something along the lines of like keep dreaming hold on to that child's spirit Bro, I fucking it hurt dude. We all want to be kids still. We all want to have that playful spirit Go ahead read it. Yeah, I promise you I'm being dead serious

It hurts so much and if I was Elon Musk, I would make sure Toys R Us opened up again Bro Elon Musk, fuck twitter dude open Toys R Us you fucking bitch KB toys don't even do Toys R Us KB toys KB Shut the fuck up Toys R Us is better, but KB toys too. You know what it says. Okay. It was a picture of Jeffrey the giraffe it was a picture of Jeffrey the giraffe and he has a suitcase. Oh, no, and then there's a sign it says Oh my god, bro Why does this make me so sad? Oh, because we're fucking old. It says I guess everyone has grown up. There's no more Toys R Us kids I could legitimately swear to god that hurts. That's so fucking fucked

Yeah, Elon Musk you rich fucking piece of shit. You're a fucking open up Toys R Us. Yeah, Charlie get him Open up Toys R Us, bro. Fuck twitter and you won't even need that much money one billion maybe Bro, the Toys R Us you slut Jeff Bezos. You want people to stop talking about your fucking wild unionless, you know wild west Fulfillment centers you're running open up Toys R Us bring it back That hurts back Joe. I guess everyone has grown up. There's no more Toys R Us kids I would if I saw that sign I would have poured money into this company I'm letting you know right now if I had saw that sign and I actively had children when I saw that I'm beating my kids for not being a Toys R Us kid. Yeah. No, I'm hitting them. I'm hitting them like yo

You're not this is your fault. Yeah, you know forget about who reads that and go. That's so dumb Fuck you up. Yeah, you don't get it, dude I hate anyone. Thanks for the memories. We are now closed. Don't ever don't ever grow up always be a Toys R Us kid I'm gonna cry. Why do we have to end this on a sad note Joey? I don't want to grow up. I am a Toys R Us kid I guess there's I guess there's oh my god. I guess everyone has grown up. There's no more Toys R Us kids That's so fucking sad. Why does that affect me so much? Because Joey the realization that time has passed and you are closer to 50 than you are to six it hurts way more

Yeah, don't that suck Doesn't that hurt bro? I I've said this a million times and I'll continue to say it time machine comes out Oh a thousand dollars spend a day in the life I'll give me five days I'm so happy with where I am in my life. I fucking I love it so much, bro The the rush I don't do drugs. I would snort the hell out of being a six-year-old for a day Fuck You snort a six-year-old? What are you saying? No, no, no

The experience got you. Yeah Well, I'm not sad. No, I think you can wrap it up. Do what we got to do Where can you find you at alvarez 8085 on twitter the frank alvarez on instagram? Go check out the patreon as we said earlier at the beginning of the show Uh, there is a video of me getting a brazilian a brazilian a man zillion as people call it where I get my nether regions waxed We reached 10,000 patrons and thank you guys so much. We do really appreciate it And as a result I'm a man of my word stuck to it got that wax So, uh, we're planning what we're going to do for our next goals

There'll be more news on that as it comes out But you can check it out at patreon.com slash the baseman yard Not only do you get exclusive videos with that second tier but that first tier you get these weekly episodes A week in advance get in on the jokes the comments the the passive aggressiveness joey belittling me six days before everybody else So go check it out patreon.com slash the baseman yard Yep, and you can find me at uh, joe sienna got on all social platforms and go follow the show at the baseman yard on tiktok and instagram Not at all. See you guys next time Don't grow up