The Basement Yard - #348 - Bumper Sticker People Need To Be Stopped!

Episode Date: May 30, 2022

Joe and Frank discuss how terrible bumper sticker people are. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. How's everyone doing Frank go D? Throw it through Whoo touch down don't open it. We'll get oh all right. There it is. Oh my god. That's it I don't think so dude. Oh may have to blur job it You want to redo that we can start over or you want to just keep it in now leave it in It's all right. You're a billionaire anyways. Well, well, you're on your way Welcome back to the basement yard good way to start with with a football a little football game a football game a football match I just threw you a touchdown. It was a regular football YouTube as as

Don't worry about what was pictured there. No, I don't think images like spike the that was quick. That was quick Yeah, I think you know that that's a Don't even say it. It was a frump. It was a frump If people didn't like they need to have quick eyes to see the curvature on the labia and no one does no one does no You can't pause this because when people pause it, they'll find out it's just a blurry image Okay, only people that are patrons know exactly what that is Yeah, so check out the patreon patreon.com space me there last week. We did a sex toy review Yes, but last week it was just you right because you almost got that you almost got a big see almost got the big

Oh, no, no, no, the big C is the bad one Chlamydia cancer. Oh, you almost got the medium C I was gonna say big C Chlamydia like I'll yeah, yeah, I don't think I'll take Chlamydia. Oh, you have I've never had Okay, I've never had any STD. I said that weird I've never had I would say the little there's anything wrong with getting STD's because like I just said I will take some fucking Clit I'll take some clip too. He'll take it off You got some right behind you in that football. Many is not that bad I'm saying that Chlamydia. You know some people that got Chlamydia. Lil see do we? Yeah, I got a little clip clap. Is that clap or is that gonorrhea? I think gonorrhea is the I think Chlamydia is a clap

I gotta say they got to name these things the worst words Why do they call it the clap? Does it make your your I think like you know how like when when when women get weeds They pat it in order to scratch like an itch or something Maybe like they can't scratch the Chlamydia, so they pat it and they clap it That's your guess yes, I don't know. You got goog it up. Why is it called the clap? Maybe because like the first person that got it the doctor was just like you uh You know you got it. You got it. I have what the clap Chlamydia Why is it called the clap? Let me tell you something didn't spell that right? Oh, yeah. Oh

It is a reference into the word clap here. What which means brothel Oh, it's a some French shit, of course where all the things nasty have come from France Kissing their fries Thought you were trying to say kidding No, you weren't kissing kissing. Well, you don't like kissing French kissing. I do like French I'm just saying like it's a lunch kissing making out But it's like it's a lot more like involved like I think it's a lot of more tongue Because the French use a lot of their tongue for words like try to say like that's a very throat

language, but like Look at what you just used there your tongue well your tongue has to move when you're making any sort of sounds not true Look at my tongue the whole time Wow Wow, frankly, no one talks at all Australians talk. Yeah, they dar I do they are too good. I speak with any tongue No, the French are like Yeah, that's throat that's tongue dude, you didn't see that tongue action there

That's a UVO luck. They're trying to like speak to each other while they kiss. That's how they came up with French kissing I think so yeah, but it's french fries. Those are good. I'm not a big french fry guy What about thin cigarettes are those things? I don't know whatever those the cigarettes on sticks that whenever I picture a French picture a French woman I think of that like a fish and and also honestly honestly when I think of French women. I think of Harry vaginas, I don't know why I think French women are way more comfortable than American women because maybe the French media doesn't Play such heavy emphasis on the way that women look over there. Well Americans are mad weird about their Pussies prompts you could say it. Well, no, just men too like I think in Europe. Everyone's just like, yo dump it out

Well, yeah, I got nude beaches over there like it's fucking, you know, like it's going out of style We we shame our fucking cocks. Yeah, we are very upset. We don't like the world to see our wieners Well, like for a good thing. We also took it to the other end. We're like the French are like Yeah, well, we go to the the beach if we want to see at the wonk, you know and Over here Over here. We're like, I don't want anyone to see it except for when I want them to see it So they like expose themselves to people which we might be talking about that in a little bit That synergy babe someone was

Dumping that thing out. Someone was done. I'm just glad to be here I got to say you had the little C scare the medium C scare You had you had a bad and I had a bad fucking day dude. Yeah, just a bad day woke up. There was a hole in my roof Leak hole in your room. Yeah, perfect. It was a leak. Did it rain even? Yeah, that's how I found the leak got it Yeah, I didn't know if you're I woke up to And I'm like fuck do where was it right in the dining room like coming from the light from the light fixture Always the light never fun and then on my way into New York for work There was a six-foot ladder on the parkway

Just on the parkway in the middle of the parkway people were hitting it and it was like skating across Yo, that's fucking dangerous because that parkway terrifies me even when there's no one on the road Yeah, because it's mad open and there's mad people going mad fast. Yeah, I was gonna say everyone's going super fast Yeah, no one cares about including me. Yeah, you were going what were you saying tell our viewers our listeners that are a part of the New Jersey State Police whenever The New Jersey Police Department the Every time I go to your house, I Say I would average like 80 something

I'm I I've learned to control it because I know there's a lot of blinds. I don't know how fast I'm going like I'm not like Fucking ripping it. I'm like going with traffic, but I'm going 80 See I put I go to like 72 or 70 and then I put the cruise control on so I'm like alright If I I'm moving with traffic if I get pulled over I deserve to get a ticket, you know, right and then You know you had the medium C so couldn't record not a point not a fun day for me I don't like missing out on my patreon peeps exactly the peep tree on the peeps and then the worst part of it was I saw the world's worst Window decal bumper sticker. It was on the back. Was it like oh, you know what I fucking hate that people put on the back of their cars coexist My cousin has that tattoo I

Who oh? I think I can figure it out. Yeah, okay. That's right on our wrist, but no, I hate well That's not great, but I I get the sentiment dumb place to put it. No one's gonna pass your car and go. Yeah, I Don't know people are big on fucking bumper stickers also like my My son's on the fifth grade honor roll congratulations. We have fucking one plus two dick fuck you Okay, I'm pressing fuck you first of all fuck you your parents had that decal. I know mine didn't No for one month one month. I did one month in fourth grade. There you go

but no, it was uh, I hate when people have like The cartoon decal was like it's a mom. It's a dad. It's a kid. It's a kid a daughter and a dog It's like why do I need to know? The workings of your family, I think it's cute Well, I think it's because it's like the baby on board thing where like that's different be careful Don't cut me off. There is a baby on board that I get But if you know that there's a family on board in this fucking Honda Odyssey You might want to be careful driving near them, too

No, well, I assume everyone has a fucking family, but like I don't need to know you have a family Not yeah, I got a family, but I don't I'm not driving with them all the time Well, because you don't have to drive your kids around you don't have kids different when you have kids I don't like that shit. Well, I don't I like it. I think it's cute I don't like the ones that try to be like playful with it where it's like a zombie dad a zombie mom And then like three little brain-eating babies or some shit like that like that. I think it's like super stupid This one was way worse. What was it way way way worse Joey Was it on the bumper? Was it on like the back? It was on the back window the decal

Okay, take a wild guess as to what what kind of car it was I don't know if it's worse than the one that I have seen it There's a car parked around my apartment all the time and I see it constantly and really bad Oh, this one is way worse. What kind of car do you think it would be on a big truck bingo? Mine's a big truck, too. Yeah, did have like elevated wheels that popped out. Yeah. Yeah, obviously Yeah, was the driver a I've never seen the driver. I know I'm letting you I'm see if you can figure it out I hit a Hispanic white B. Just gonna go white. Okay, you're right. It's a bumper sticker It's a bumper sticker. Yeah, it's a white thing to do. Yeah, so a Puerto Ricans during Puerto Rican day parade

Oh, they have a pain it they well No, not just that the window the sliding window will be the Puerto Rican flag. There you go. Yeah But this one was it was a window decal It's it had a big sec like a sexy lady silhouette. I already had a curvature. Yeah, and it said BLM What does that mean? Well, what do you think I know what that means? But what does that mean? Oh, yeah, so I saw that I was like, oh, okay You know weird way to you know promote that you support the Black Lives Matter movement. Yes, I'm sexy Okay, I got closer and it take a while to guess what you think BLM stood for

I'll give you one hand not Black Lives Matter. Yeah, I'm thinking something along the lines of like big lesbian like must muck bang local milfs Do you have a picture of it? I couldn't take what I was driving on the parkway. I was driving I was trying to it said bang local milks bang local milfs. I couldn't believe it like Not only did they like who like I live in a pretty red county for lack of better terms You know, they just opened in Tom's River, New Jersey. The Let's Go Brandon store. Oh You didn't know this. No. Oh, it's a whole store. Perfect

No, remember when you're in Key West and I saw that fucking t-shirt. It said I remember it said no jobs and it was like Obama then it said blow jobs and it was Billy see it was Billy see blow job bill and then it said More jobs and it was Donald Trump and then it said nutjobs and it was Joe Biden Bro, people I've I I've seen houses in you know, like Monmouth and Ocean County, New Jersey that have that fly Confederate flags South or is again, I guess they are But there was an SNL skit where the girl was like the South will rise again, but I get dizzy every time I stand up But I couldn't believe it. I was legitimately

It's not like local mill bang local mills. First of all, I think that's good advice I I do but like they know what they were doing. They know what they were doing They knew exactly what they but also the local mills who need banging I will say it's not all mills need banging. They're being banged totally fine. Here is my question though Is who needs to like some of these like? Decals or bumper stickers they give advice, you know, like co-exist like okay Like I get your I don't like the fact that you're putting on on the back of your car Like you put that on there because you think someone's gonna see it

But like I get the I get it you want to co-exist. I get like the ones that have like, you know Like I clown this this car climbed Mount Washington, you know Because then I think like how did a car climb a mountain, you know But who needs advice or direction on banging local mills? I think if anything they're getting banged properly I don't know about that. You're gonna tell me that you don't think local mills are first of all, they're in your area and To you think that they're not getting the adequate attention that they deserve I think that if in the event that they aren't someone some people need a reminder and if they're not it's because those people are banging

Non-local mills or they're going in mills the foreign mills. Yeah, bang foreign mills be a terrestrial mills. Maybe careful you know that extra terrestrial From not from our country so we call extra terrestrials extra we call people not from our country aliens Joe Oh, or illegals. Yeah, that's a lot of people so lovingly call them, right? I would think that they don't need to be reminded to bang local mills if there's a local mill chances are They're being banged by one got any local mills my wife I Got the best one dog, I don't know. I've never seen any local mills

I was hoping your answer would be like No, yeah, I can tell you there's one woman that lives in my building and I'm like I Never see where the husband That's very very old school of you Joe I've seen her with her daughter, but I've never seen her. How do you know what's your daughter dude? You're just fucking assuming so much shit right now. You're gonna get canceled Well, whatever. I don't know. I don't she's looks old enough to be a mother of this fucking daughter. What does that mean? That she's a local mill. She's a local mill. Yeah, all right. Well, there you go

No, I don't think I've ever seen any local mills except for the one that I that I secured right I bagged I bagged a local mill. I BLM'd you feel I feel it. I Couldn't I couldn't believe Because like you know the person put that on their car with like a smirk like Like they don't believe yeah, the Black Lives Matter movement. No, but I haven't even worse one. Mm-hmm there's a truck around the block from my house and On the back of the window, it's a it has a flat bed and on the back of the window it's just an American flag and

instead of like it being The star of the their stars are there, but the stripes and everything is just a pledge of allegiance like written out Oh, you know like a in like a like a fourth of July type of script Oh, like like a Francis Scott key. Yeah, that kind of shit. Wow. Yeah, and I was just like I Don't get it. I get patriotism like I yo listen The fucking all right cool USA. I get it dude. I root for them during the whole yeah, yeah, I'm here Yeah, I like it here. He's profited quite well off capitalism. Look at me. Yeah, I'm fine But dude, I don't like out of all the American songs that we have

That is easily the worst one. The best one is proud to be an American. That's a good song That's the best one, and I'm proud to be At least I know And I won't forget the ones who died used to be men, but now it's ones Okay, that right to me and I probably said help Next to you That's that's our chemistry there, baby. Yeah, yeah, I'm fucking yee-ha the fuck up when end song comes on

Yeah, I tend to like I used to be like when I was in college And it was like a fun joke to be super patriotic on like two holidays a year Yeah, I was all about it and I do still have a sense of patriotism, you know But I also have seen the world under a different, you know I took off the the rose tinted glasses, so to say That I don't know and I'm one of the crazy ones that sees the world how it should be and not how it is Are you quoting like a Batman movie or something? I think I'm quoting an Apple commercial Here's to the crazy ones, I think it's actually like narrated by like Richard Dreyfus. Oh

No, okay, you don't know who Richard Dreyfus. I know I that that's bad the people that like I get patriotism I really do I truly do But the people that make it their whole personality were like I knew someone recently that like Just got super into being like, you know America Yeah, and like they were like I'm getting an American flag tattoo with an eagle and it's like fucking why Yeah, that's a lot. Why do you need to do that? Even though eagles are fucking cool my favorite bird. Oh Yeah, my favorite bird my favorite bird. I mean what other birds are there falcons. Oh damn that might be my favorite

It's a favorite bird. What's a hawk is that a falcon a hawk and a falconer? I think a hawks are like, you know, it's like toad and frogs I think hawks are you ever say that again? That's the 100th time you said that on the show the cocks are like the parents and then falcons are like the cool ones You know what I mean like falcons are hawks like yo and falcons are like You know smoking a cigarette in the parking lot with their knee up against the wall Yeah, and they hit it fucking a vending machine and the Soty pop comes out. Yeah Soty pop, you know, they're flipping a coin with a toothpick. They're thirsty ganch. Yeah, and then a brand new coke comes out

Yeah A falcon falcon, so I think that's my favorite bird. Eagles are cool, but like they got weird eyes I think falcons are cool just because of the Atlanta Falcons Like that logo is pretty sick. It's sharp Falcons cuz I like the Millennium Falcon to the Millennium Falcon is a good. Also. What's that good ship? What's that white bird? Yeah, what's that? That's Power Rangers. Yeah Power Rangers. What's that called? It's the Falcon. Oh, it's just called Falcon Zord It's what it's called. Oh, yeah Falcon Zord that's my shit when I got that son of a bitch. Yeah, I like that shit

Yeah, no, I falcons are cool top three birds in no particular order Falcons Hawks eagles. Yeah, what out of doubt. I don't think there's any way around that people that put like fucking like emus up there I don't even think an emu is no, that's not a bird ostrich Yeah, that's barely a bird flightless What are the other types of birds vultures? And those are cool. No, they're not I got attacked by a turkey vulture. What about crows crows? Yo, you know the carrots bro. Parrots are fire. Parrots aren't that bad, but like Two cans, it's cool bird

Two cans are fucking dope. You know why cuz when I think of two cans I think there's a lot of like fresh food around. I was thinking fruity pebbles So I'm right there with you, babe. Also, we got turkeys, they're trashed though. You get careful and turkeys are mean, dude Bro turkeys are evil as shit. Yeah, they like I've seen I've seen so many videos of turkeys like chasing like four-year-olds And that's fucked up, bro If you ever like, you know how like nature is like, oh my god If you ever see like these like birds like don't harm them or anything

Yo, you see a turkey kill that son of a bitch Yeah, it probably is like chase children use racial slurs the hulshabang. They are they don't sport BLM The and hummingbirds hummingbirds are dope dude Hummingbirds are fucking cool. I've never seen one in person, but I'd love to I think I've seen a hummingbird But it might have been a dream. I probably was where you gonna see a hummingbird in fucking New York City, bro They hover no, I've been to New Jersey. Oh, I know dude. I know they hover I got a plant specifically to attract hummingbirds didn't work. Was it sent out like like no, it's it's the fuchsia plant Bro, it's beautiful. You ever see it. Is it fuchsia? Yes, dude

It's like a bright pink and purple and it's got little bells that have little like tendrils come out And they're like this is like they suck on that bro. They love that shit. Yeah, look up the fuchsia plant, dude Look it up. It's fucking super dope and Didn't attract a single one Damn, these are tight. Yeah woodpeckers not bad Oh, I've heard woodpeckers. I've seen them dude. I've seen them in action. You know what I've seen I've seen woodpeckers get stuck in trees. Oh and people got to rip them out. Oh Okay, yeah, they got it. They're built durable bird. They're built for it, dude

Yeah, I've seen them in action and this is by the way the most like city boy talk about fucking birds ever It's like yo, you ever seen a fucking bro. You know what else are dope Cardinals Blue jays Yo Cardinals are sick, bro. They're birds brother mad Cardinals by me I'll like wake up and I'll look outside boom Cardinal on the fucking table bro one time my mom She had a Cardinal that would visit her I be four days, you know, I'm like birds Is it like it was it like some stupid shit like it was like the spirit of her dad Oh, I literally was gonna say that like for some reason old people whenever they see a bird that isn't a pigeon

They're like, oh, that's grandpa. I'm like welcome. That's a fucking bird I don't want to make fun because my son does that with his grandfather, but my son's cool. Your mom sucks Yeah, no, his grandpa's dead though You got him there, you can't watch it You totally got one of the club. You got what is his life bitch. He's called my son a bitch No, no, I'm talking to the birds. Oh Yo, crows don't probably I don't like crows. They're kind of evil dude. Number one is crows number one best bird That's stupid. You know, you know, this article just says six amazing birds, you know, you know what a group of crows is called a

Murder It's a cow's a cock a crow a crow a murder of crows. Yeah What the fuck is that oh I don't know something an old dead white person bird. Yeah That's the ghost of like fucking like Alexander Graham Bell or some shit McCaw's dude blue McCaw's are cool, dude I've seen Rio Remember that Jesse Eisenberg What and Hathaway Jesse Eisenberg and Hathaway you remember that movie Rio I do it's about Brazilian birds during Cal Nibar

Mm-hmm, and they're like, oh, you should do pie for good. The chow churrascaria Focus the chow, what does that mean? That's a chain of Brazilian steak houses I Knew that for some reason yeah, I am shocked in churrascaria. It's just like basically just steakhouse So those are the three child the three things I know how to say in Brazilian Portuguese But yeah, that was that was that has to have been the worst decal slash bumper sticker I've ever seen yeah, it's pretty bad Also, it's just switch gears here We had talked about this a little bit, but a while ago. We had talked about a guy who lost his ding dong

He did lost his penis and then he had one Attached to his arm. Yeah, and it was like decent. This is decent. He was growing it like a fucking pepper. Yeah Yeah, he was like a pepper. Yeah, he was growing like a jalapeno and it was on his arm And then would you say it got now it so he finally I mean we're you know, we like to stay abroad and We like to keep a breast with our We do like to keep a breast a single breast one breath We stay up on the stuff that we talk about sometimes and this was a story that brought the the world together Yeah, man just wanted his wing weighing back. Yeah, so he attached his wigwam to his arm and he was growing it

Joking off like this. You remember that that's crazy. Do I remember what when you jerked off like that? No, I never do okay But the story question. Sorry real quick. Yeah, go ahead. You ever jerk off like mad weird when you first started doing it. Well No No, no, no Go ahead. What did you do? No, no, you did a backwards hand No, I honestly never done. I've never done. Did you do that thing where people say like sit on your hand for five minutes So you don't know who's jerking you off. No, and I definitely know who's jerking me off Like it feels like someone else is doing it stranger needles. Yeah, now it hurts

Yeah, like I can't I can't control my grip a dead arm and be boned up Yeah, it's not for me You ever fall asleep on your hand and then like you can't like whenever that happens to me I like look at my hand to see if I can close it So like that wouldn't be cool to do to my fucking dick Yeah, I actually did that to my whole arm the other night and then I just I love hanging it off the side of the bed And just feeling the blood rush in and it fills up and then I can start moving my hand again Oh, you made that sound really appealing. It's really cool. I knew someone that used to sit Indian style and they would whoa

Damn I'm done dude It's crisscross applesauce crisscross applesauce now fucking pack me up Send me out dude. It's someone bro. Sound the alarm. My man just said the eyeword Yeah, it's fucked up. That's really not allowed. I know apparently it's like people would get very upset by when you talk about sitting a certain way Yeah, um, they didn't event that Seat did they or was it like well, they're depicted as such I I think it's like way before them like monks and shit like that from like for monks or I don't think they're older than

Native Americans, I think monks were like, I don't know you I could be wrong But I think like bro. We hear about like China in like a hundred year one hundred You know what I mean? Like I don't know when we hear about Native Americans Oh, the first time I heard about Native American is when Christopher Columbus went over and was just like I come in peace I'm here to help you watch what I do Yeah But they would sit Apple stuff. Oh, like I got you these blankets

They would sit Chris cross applesauce and they would their foot would fall asleep and they would stand up and they would kick the Like bed or like the edge of like a couch to like get feeling back in their leg. Who did this? I I'm not gonna give first and last But someone's brother that we know you know them too their first name is with a B That doesn't narrow it down at all one of our friends brothers. Yeah. Yeah, and his brother's name starts with a B

Yes, yes, and their brother's name starts with an S Our friends name starts with it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I got it. You got it now He's the fault. He's the little make is let why are we not saying his name? It's a very plain name I Brian yeah, he were gonna be like got him. Yeah for Brian No, he he would he would sit down and play like on his PSP or his Gameboy or anything And then his leg would fall asleep and he would stand up and he would as hard as he could kick the edge of a couch Until he got feeling back in his leg. We got to keep an eye on him. That's a pretty stupid. That was a dumb thing to do

Yeah, he would also. Oh Boy, this is not a bad one. He would just make up songs and sing so he'd be like Like he would just make up shit and sing you do daddy Yankee versus Damn that was mad racist forget about my comment that whoa You're trying right now, dude. He's just a hard eye back there. I'm not gonna forget about that I mean if you do they won't I'll tell you that true I mean it's now it's on the internet. I'm pretty much the worst person on the planet after that I say, but yeah, the guy got his

His his wiener that was attached to his arm growing put it on his dick You gotta put on his penis man his penis area where it was his from that's dope, dude And he said and I quote I've never felt more like a man I'll say this. Yeah, you want to have that fucking penis. Yeah, I would assume he had felt more like a man When he had his first penis. No, if I have my second penis, I feel like I just re-upped Really like you just like I don't know that I would feel more like a man I'd rather I'd probably feel more like a man if I had my dick in my pants and not on my own Yeah, yeah, yeah, there was a story in the thing where he's like I remember

He was helping a woman get something from a supermarket like high up and like the shelf and he's like it fell out it flopped out of my shirt and It damn near hit the woman in her face and the woman was quoting is saying like it wasn't that bad It would have been a story to tell the grandkids Well, what why the fuck would you tell your grandkids that yeah, dude if I get hit in you imagine? Oh Can't imagine your grandma being like I was just at the supermarket. Well, she's British. They're different over there. So do British Damn you put me on the spot. I can't really say that you can doggy. I was going to get some teas and crumpet. Yeah, it's a Crumpet crumpet. What is a crumpet? It's like a little like pastry. It's like a cookie almost

But it's a it's like a square or or like a triangle whatever dude And I might be a scum but can you imagine your grandma's being like this guy? He had a dick on his arm and it came out almost to me in the face. I'd be like I think it's time. We put grandma in a fucking home She just made that up. Yeah, just like what was that grandma? Oh, yeah, and then there was monsters. Hello shady oaks Yeah, huh take this old bitch out of here. She's fucking going crazy I would I would just imagine that an old British woman get him. You know what's a sin? What's all it was? So what's all they saying? Well, you're thinking what you think you're doing with that way. Oh, thank you. What do they call up there?

What are you doing if you're Dinger? I think that's what they call it. We do your willy. Yeah, that's the way of arm like bro I would be mortified if my grandmother thought it'd be funny like imagine Yaya Okay, remember her on go ahead. Okay. Remember. I do remember Yaya remember and if she would be like, you know When I was young she did sound like Marge She did a little bit What? What? This is what Marge is doing. I haven't heard her voice in ten years. Yeah, nine

To be exact, okay When I was young I Got hit by a wiener Well, I did in the face It was I mean my grandma would have been young in like the 50s so back then that was like that was like yeah a trip to the Delhi, you know, yeah Your grandma ever talked to you about like dicks. No No, no, no, no, no, my grandmother never spoke to me about that came out

No, talk to you about penis. No, no, no, no by the time I was of age She was already like the dementia was like starting to like really like be rough spread Yeah, it was like so I never had like that talk with her about like, you know, you know So you never talked to your grandma about penis. I never spoke to my parents about penis let alone my grandma Hold that thought Let's get to these ads The first one we have here is stitch fix if you want to look stylish this summer You want to get fresh but you don't have the time or you think that like you don't really know too much about style

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No No, no, no, it was not because that wouldn't be funny from him him. He would get he would get a throne down the stairs Right, right. You know, I would be like, well, okay. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no Do you like If I were like were you if you were to get a gift on father's day because you're Charlie's dad, right? Would you accept it and be like, thank you. Would you be like, I'm not really? Oh, no Well, what is a dog going to give this to me? Well, no say like your mom like for father's day because you're yeah

I would accept it. You're a dog dad who never never has his dog with him, right? Well, that's not true But dog is normally sitting right here. Yeah, but he's not because he ate chocolate Jesus my dog is alive and well But Yeah, I mean obviously I would accept it But do you what do you like usually get your dad something for father's day or not? Not anymore. You just call him I just say hey happy Father's Day. Yeah, that's it. So I have this tradition. Thank you so much. Yeah, thanks Frank Frank my dad finally got rid of his Denali the truck Wow, it's gone. Well the gas prices

Well, no the 500,000 miles and that too and the six transmissions he put in that might have done it before the gas Yeah, yeah, the the 15 trips to and from Florida. Do you get your mom anything from Mother's Day? Or her birthday Well, cuz they're you know our mom's have the same happy belated birthday to your mom by the way Your mom DM me on Instagram was like tell Liz happy. Oh, I didn't I didn't tell you to tell you. No, you didn't that's fucked up Well, I didn't I got my mom. I told your mom directly though happy birthday. That was cool to To my mom's birthday and Mother's Day to happen normally days apart All right, so I usually we used to do Mother's Day and then her birthday, but now it's just like fucking cool

Yeah, you guys like big gift people some people are huge gifts. It's weird because like growing up I think like you know how people say like what's your love language? I grew up in a household where like our love language was affection and Giving gifts and affection was my dad Yeah, he's a he's a big my dad's a big hugger kisser. Yeah, hold hands are yeah to his kids not to you know, all right Not like not like a Jabbiden My mom was a big gift giver my mom wasn't big in showing affection and that's okay I'm you know, she she had her own she was going through a lot in life But like every Christmas it was always like she went above and beyond and that was her way of showing us that she loved us

She always like every Christmas pulled some shit out where it was like like I remember when the Wii came out And it was remember how nuts it was to get a Wii. Yeah, it was like impossible and It was like, you know my mom every year Christmas grown up. It was it's gonna be real small. I can't I can't yeah She was doing I just what do you want me? Thank that's just just like your mother literally your mom would literally rob a church to buy you guys Yes, and and then Christmas would come and she would like we'd have a lot of shit And then it was always like whether it be the year we got the like the original Xbox or the Wii She would like at the end be like that's oh way Yeah, she would always do that. She'd be like, there's what's just I'm missed. Oh my and we're like fucking what mom

Yeah, and then she would go upstairs and bring down the whatever it was that have they only did that to me one year My parents like we were never big gifts people like people's birthdays like We stopped doing gifts When you grow out of like the toy phase, I guess like when like you're not gonna give a toy After that it was just kind of like let me know when that toy phase ends. Yeah When is it supposed to end um mom last year got me a bunch of Megazords? That's amazing not a joke

but I remember one year for Christmas like I wanted the ps2 so bad PlayStation and I got I Remember because I had PlayStation one and then I I remember I I one of the first gifts I opened was siphon filter That game was fire that came is very good Literally is a game where you're like a fucking secret agent or something Yeah, and you can taze people but you keep tazing them and then eventually they light on fire

Which was so sick and this man used to do that quite frequently all the fucking time I love to watch them burn in squirm moving But Then so I when I got that I was like I'm like they're not gonna buy me a gift for the old system will not get me the new system Oh, they send you like that. Yeah, dude. They fucking mind games. That's fucking genius. Yeah, so I opened that up They're like oh here and I was like I was like happy because I wanted that game

I was like all right sweet and then we open up all the gifts It's like all right and then like Thomas knew because he was the oldest Yeah, and I remember and the coolest she He it was on like a rocking chair in the dining room the fuck and There was a pillow over it and then we're like oh everything's done or whatever and then Thomas just goes Oh pillow fight and fucking grabs the pillow and hits me in the face with it. I was like what the hell Oh That's sick, bro the year I got PlayStation 2 I can like it's so weird

But like when I think back on memories, it's not just like the colors and the sounds I can remember smells I can remember tastes. I know it sounds so stupid and I actively remember like My mom the year that we got ps2. She must have just been so burnt out. She didn't even try to hide the gifts She hid them in the living room under a blanket Fire and my brothers and I would try to sneak and find out and one year like my mom was always saying like I can't get you the ps2 I can't I can't I can't and then we like one time went under and like checked under the blanket and we just saw

W WWF Smackdown know your role. Oh my god the one with the Rockwish. Yeah. Yeah, and I and I fucking like and I was so Fucking hi, but yeah, no, I you know, it was it was weird because we didn't like We never went on vacations as kids like we if we went away It's because like my mom met someone that was able to get us like a free weekend at like a cabin or something You know, we went to that that camp that we went to was like $5,000 a summer We went because my mom worked there and we went to go for free So we didn't like have like a lot financially, right?

But like when it came like push came to shove my mom made it work and to this day I don't know how guess what don't want to know. Yeah afraid of what Afraid of what my mom had to make it happen My dad also would tell a story like every Christmas I'd be like it was a Christmas miracle that I was able to get this expanse. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah It's like my dad. Yeah, you bribed a woman. You probably yeah, you know, like you took this from another kid Which I'm all for dude. Honestly finders fucking keep right bitch. Yeah, if it's not for you better for me, right? But

Where are we talking about? I don't know father's day and mother's day. Yeah, no, no, no Now we've gotten to a point where I think our parents my dad grew out of the phase because my dad I hate to say this. Yep. I don't I don't hate to say this He'll hate that I'm saying this my dad loved getting gifts and there were times when we were growing up where he was just like I Don't ask for a lot But it's father get me something on father's day. My dad was the opposite. He was like don't get me Make sure you get your mother. Yeah mother's day like he'll still like that He called me for mother's day right before mother's day like get you

He also went mad hard for me to get my sister on Easter basket. That's cute. Yeah, but like just so random and then He called me to tell me like whatever and I remember when I was younger He used to send me and Keith to the store So go get your mother a card from Mother's Day or whatever and we came back and got her an anniversary card because we're idiots Yeah, we just didn't read about it looks cool. It says mom on it I remember the one year where I got your mom a Mother's Day card and like a box of chocolates And we got her nothing and you guys got her nothing and your sister lost her mind on you guys I was king of the castle that day right you were I got not and not in my castle. I was fucking pissed at you

Yeah, you were upset but but busy was very happy business happy and Shannon, too You know I was a big and then right after that day went back to not wanting Frankie around that much. Yeah It's a joke. I know if they didn't want me around I wouldn't have been around I get it well Remember once I gave a a Christmas card and it said I know I'm annoying But thanks for letting me be around something along those lines like I was like I know I'm like the Urkel annoying next door neighbor But thanks for letting me be around Wow, I like and they probably read it like Yeah, I did that to my 6th grade 8th grade Spanish teacher. Well, she's no I didn't have it for Spanish actually was that the one that was Chinese

No, that was 7th grade. Her name was Miss. She uh female I Got that from from the miss and the she No, good damn you just putting genders on all people now Yeah, she but my other one her name was Miss Rosenblatt and we hated each other What so you had a Chinese Spanish teacher in a possibly Jewish one? I don't know what she was you're not allowed to mix the two Joe

If I had to like when I when I look at her I made that comment about Kris Kross applesauce before I want to make sure people know When I look at her I think of like a big tomato. Yeah, she's like a fat lard. No No, because she had like red hair she always wear red lipstick and like Maroon shirts. Gotcha. You know what I mean? So I always it was just like this girl. So check it. She wear broaches. I Don't what is that like the little like pendant that go like here. Oh, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, my grandma love those shirts, too. I know man sharp It was crazy. They were they had like mad diamond not diamonds

But like like studs in them that weren't sharp as shit Yeah, like pearls and shit, but I wrote cuz at the end of the year They get a yearbook too and all the kids sign them whatever. Yeah, and I wrote It's been an absolute pleasure being in your homeroom all these years dot-dot-dot psych Damn, you send her like that. Yeah, and she was like cuz She didn't like me either. No, yeah, so it was like kind of funny We're like yeah

Cuz as I was writing what I was writing. She was like, oh, okay. Yeah. All right, and I was like psych Yeah, I I look back on some of the teachers. I had a middle school and think like I know how much of a piece of shit I was so I wonder if they still remember how awful I was. Yeah, you know Like I believe the woman that that my teacher that I lied to about my dead grandfather. She probably remembers me That's fire. There are other ones know that I'm sure that like I just put through like mental torture And I wonder if they do like if they speak to this like therapists about me, right, you know cute stuff I I think like three cute stuff three years. I think when I was a junior in high school. I like emailed my

Assistant principal Because I thought that we had like a good relationship weird No, like I was I was like getting sent to her office all the time and I was supposed to be like and you guys were like Giving each other back rubs, right? Idiot, but she she always was kind of like on my side for shit So I thought that we had like a cool relationship because like like that teacher I just mentioned her and then some other teachers were just like had a very short fuse for me Which like probably rightfully so so like the littlest thing I do

They just like go to the assistant office and they just send me out of class So I would spend a lot of time in her office. I emailed her literally three years after I graduated from that school She had no idea who I was damn and I was like damn. It's Del Valle son. Del Valle. Yeah, she's still there Fuck no, oh damn probably maybe I won't I often wonder like if there are teachers that remember me I know like I had a teacher in high school who I had like befriended her son because her son like looked up to me and Like every now and then we still follow each other on social media He'll be like oh my mom says hi, and I'm like oh tell her and like I'm sure there are other teachers Then there are others that like when you're in high school, bro

And you're on top of the world and you're like you're on the king of the castle You're cool with all the teachers and shit you leave they forget you fucking exist. Yeah, they are new people, bro I was fuck this hurts. I was fucking Don Quixote. Okay. Yeah, I was Don Quixote Art Dita director was a cool dude ish and I Was fucking bro. I was in his show like he knew me dude Yeah, you were the guy. I was the guy. I was Don Quixote, bro Yeah, I was man of La Mancha and you were fiddler on the roof I wasn't the fiddler, but you were the roof

I was no I was a Vram the bookkeeper and did a probably very insensitive over-the-top Jewish man impression. Well, what are you gonna do you forget about it? It's the theater. It's the arts. It's the arts I did it for art right, you know But years later I remember remember when there was like a big thing that like all the New York public schools were getting like not shut down But they were getting broken up into different schools in the building Okay, you might not know because you went to public school a private school But like it was like, you know like for instance like Bryant they would it would be like oh

Bryant as a school is failing so they break it down and the students are brought There's like four floors and it's like four different schools and like you like categorized bro There's some like evil like lords and surf shit like it was weird weird. Yeah, and There was a rally one day and that was like save Bryant because they didn't want it to happen And it was like in the middle of the summer and I was like, oh, I was home from college And I was like fuck it. I'll go by bro It was like my sophomore year of college two years removed from high school And I went and I'm just standing there and no one's like there are people there the theater director mad teachers

No one came up to me So I'm like and I I have a small ego, but I tend to also be pretty humble when it comes to certain things And like at the end of this whole fucking they're like yo save Bryant I go up to him and I'm like Mr. Hartman Shit there it is. I was like, how are you and he's like I'm sorry Damn sun dude. Do I did you just break out into song?

Oh I was just like oh frank and he was like Damn dude, I was like I was like Don't you know and he was like oh I'm so sorry, and I'm just like damn. He's that theatrical bro. He was probably this guy was like a six-foot six Fucking like 250 you would have thought he was a linebacker not a gay theater teacher. He's gay man He was damn dude. That's a towering bro, and he was intimidating a shit. Well, yeah, and he just didn't didn't fucking remember me That's really cool. I said hi with the devil

You just I just got flipped off by one. Yeah, and I like waved that by the other yeah, but yeah, man That that that one hurt. That's okay You got son by your gay Teacher-teacher son the shadow and then he like retired and moved to like North Carolina or some stupid shit And didn't North Carolina have a thing with like transgender bathrooms or something probably you know where the gays want to go The next thing we have here Shopify yeah Shopify gives entrepreneurs the resources once reserved for big businesses

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I don't know apparently They're they're court records or some sort of legal records or something like that that show that the interaction happened Yes, allegedly and that they used $250,000 to ask the woman who he allegedly dumped dumped his dick out for yes to be quiet Signed an NDA probably which how does this stuff get out if that happens? I Don't know but I will say this this is what the story says This is a flight attendant for SpaceX, which that's a rocket dude. Isn't that a rocket ship? That's a ride attendants. Oh, can you go in space and so I'm trying to give you a coke

You want any cracker one pretzels? I Didn't know SpaceX had a problem. I mean they probably like have like inside. It's like like this, but it's really going up Like that not a rocket. It's not in the rocket. Oh, I really I really thought this was a rocket There's no way there's a flight attendant in a rocket ship. Oh, dude What there's got to be more space in a rocket ship than just the cockpit Yeah, but what do you think she could get up and serve you a fucking water? I don't know man. That's what I'm asking. No, I know it's a rocket. Okay. All right going into la space. Yes My flight attendant for SpaceX said Elon Musk asked her to do more during a massage. Wait. Why was she wait?

This SpaceX he has his flight attendant give him massages He asked her to do more so like He's like do more do more for me do one doing more one just go down south and it says the billionaire founder The billionaire founder exposes penis to her and offered to buy her a horse I Know that's not funny. That's bad, but come on it is not nice Why are those two things even like you need to know things about a buyer a horse? Well, you need to know things about a person to buy them a horse Like you need to know that person really likes ponies

Well, you also need to know that they can house this horse. Well, then it's like how what oh what if someone bought me a horse What am I where am I gonna put it? I assume that would be part of the conversation And it's be like I'll give you a stable too. I will also need a house in North Carolina, bro That's pennies to him dude a horse. He probably can make horses. I think he could make probably has horses running I'm telling you. He's got horses after she reported the incident to SpaceX Musk's company paid her $250,000 as part of a severance agreement. So that's sevens. They fired her then or like I said I was I Don't think a severance is just

Getting fired. Oh, I've always thought of severance is well severance agreement like you don't agree to get fired And a severance there's no like no, but like a severance is like all right like we're letting you go Here's three months of pay. Yeah, if you get laid off We have to let you go What that happened to me you got laid off. I got I got laid off from a beginning of severance It's kind of dope. I got laid off from a job and they didn't give me anything. Yeah, they don't have to there's no law It's fucked up. Yeah, it's kind of fucked But yeah severance is cool, but that's kind of crazy. Yeah, also

I want to say this Elon Musk dumps his dick at me for just man in the world, bro You're gonna need to come out of pocket way more than 250 Yeah, I mean unfortunately like and and here I'm gonna put on my you know button it up button it up Be serious. I will for one sec. I feel like The anxiety and stress that comes with women coming out and speaking on that stuff in the public and in society is way Like I you wouldn't want to do that. So you'd take anything at that point in time You know what I mean like instead of how many times you see women coming out and saying like oh so-and-so was inappropriate to me

And then the fucking news waves are all just like well, then you shouldn't have wore a fucking open shirt, bitch You know like oh you shouldn't have fucking you know like oh you're the whore and it's like bro at that point like Just take the fucking money because it's probably way easier than everything that you're gonna the death threats you'll get no obviously I agree. Honestly death threat, bro. You don't think these women are getting death threats No, I do but it's like it's so weird to me to imagine someone liking Elon Musk so much that they're like willing to go to war for him Well, I think of all the people that are making money off of Tesla and SpaceX That's true, and they'll be like yo you fuck with my money. I'll kill you. I Just wrote the wrote the novel right there wrote the script. Yeah, I was referring to like regular dudes

Look at Stormy Daniels, dude. You think she didn't get that threats She said that the president made her slap his ass with a fucking magazine. You think I believe that shit, bro I 100% believe I think that dudes who are in power like Donald Trump are like I'm a manly man You know like to get like candles in their ass, you know what yes And you know why I believe it because men when they're horny come up with the wildest shit When men are super fucking horny, they'll be like, I'll just fucking do it all. I'll do anything. Yeah, just fucking spit my eye You know like they'll like Men when they're horny just come up with a dumbest shit. So like a hundred percent. I can see Donald Trump. She's be like

Spank me. I'll tell you what she hit him with a magazine She a magazine when his face on it, dude, and like I think his family was on it, too Damn, it was man weird about his daughters. He's like y'all five. She was my daughter fucking nailer You know like yeah, dude, you said that about his own daughter. He would fucking nail her. Yeah, you nail his daughter No, not for me. I don't really know what she looks like her head looks like Candace from Phineas and Ferb Are you referring to Melinda? Who's her name? Melania my bad. No Melania

Melinda I don't know you just made her American. Yeah, I did way more than she actually is Ivanka Ivanka. Yeah, what a name dude not a good name Ivanka Trump I just think of Ivana hump a lot from awesome powers Ivanka is like It's kind of it's kind of a cool name. I'm sorry if there are any Ivanka's out there I think I knew a girl Ivanka. I think I knew a girl in middle school that like, you know, it's a fucking hot name your turn Go ahead Your turn go oxana, I don't think that's that whoa

Don't think of like a snow queen. Do you think I think of just like a Fucking giant woman that can snap my neck like a twig. No, I think of oxana I think of like this blonde hair blue-eyed like girl in the snow and she's like she could ice skate really well Did you like recently watch the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe or something? Where's this coming from? No, but that's a good book. That's what I've That was the only book I read for like the first 23 years of my life. Really? Yeah, I read I read all the series of unfortunate events I read all the Harry Potter's and then big lemony snicket guy. I like lemons and then I read

I think I read like the first like five or I think I read the whole series actually of the Lion Witch and the Wardrobe because it was the magician's nephew. What's that guy's name C.S. Lewis. Mr. Tumnus. Yes, and then what I thought you met the author. No, no CS Louis. I don't care about it You know, Mr. Tumnus. Mr. Tumnus. Yeah, he's like the goat boy fun. Yeah, I think what he is. Oh fun Yeah, he's got like goat legs and top Boy nipples. Yeah. Yeah, and then goat head and hair and horns and ears as a goat and ears as a goat And then just boy nipples and a belly button. I think no dick. No, not that we know about that I haven't seen it. Yeah, and I don't think Lucy the kid in that she they were spending too much time together

Yeah, but there was magician's nephew Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe Prince Caspian voyage of the Don Treader The it was like the the silver chair and then like the great battle or something. Yeah, you're at all those. Yeah They're very religious Religious. Yeah, so they're all allegories for religion. Really? Yeah. Yeah, so what's the Wardrobe? Is that like Jesus is I think I think that's the cave and it's like you coming out of the cave and stuff like that because they're Going in yeah, they're going in and on the other side where they're like royalty. Oh, maybe that's like death Or it's like they go into the Wardrobe and they come out the other side. Maybe magic

Maybe the King's the lion of them as land Remember we called a girl growing up as land Who you don't remember that who a little yeah called her Mufasa and as land we called her every lion that we knew She's just had big frizzy here. She's still our friend. Don't worry. She's Alive, but I'm invited to her wedding. I swear. Damn. Are you but I haven't gotten in my invitation again. I don't think I'll get invited She was invited to mine though. So what the fuck? Yeah, she might invite you. I'm not going. Oh, I'm sorry She she doesn't watch this even she definitely doesn't want us talking about her either. Oh, yeah, probably not. Yeah, I know no Fuck now. I got up. All right. Never mind. Why we didn't say anything bad. No, we didn't I just she doesn't want to be attached

I know that she doesn't want to what she's got a nice job. That's what I'm gonna say Yeah, she does She does well, it's just cute little bleep her name and just refer to her as as land look at the timecode. Okay, I Can't see it refer to hers as land. Yeah, man, but Fucking Elon Musk might be going down so long Twitter. I Don't think he's buying it He put it on hold. He got people hyped for no reason. Why did he put on hold?

I don't know But there was something that came out and there was something about like the bots We like made up like 5% of like Twitter or something and I think that like that's it change something Yeah, I don't know what it was but like it changed something So he like put it on hold but then he made sure to be like, but I'm still like interested But I don't know after this too. I don't think so. That's weird. I don't know why you care about bots Just get rid of them by it. I didn't read too much into it because I Just didn't care. I don't really care like people really cared about if you bought it or not

I was like, I really don't how about we just get rid of Twitter No, Twitter's great. You like Twitter. Yeah, you're a 20 boy. That's where I get on my news That's sad. Where am I gonna get it? That newspaper go where I go Joey? Good the chive and ebombs world The onion you idiot. Yeah, you moron. What's the the Babylon? I don't know. There's some like fucking crazy like the national inquirer. No, it's some other shit I don't know. I have no idea. I don't know. Are they right every every story is about Joe Biden now He's like Joe Biden. He's enslaving us or something. Yeah, well, he is

Yeah, dude, I'm literally just trying to get drunk like Three days a week. That's it. I fucking wish I didn't have to work. I wish that I would just Be able to just hang out Record the show, you know what I want to be drunk the rest of the time I'll I don't care what happens As long as everyone's like relatively nice to each other and that we don't get rid of like mimosas Bro, if a president comes out tomorrow like a candidate. Yeah, and they're like so-and-so wanted to get rid of happy hour and Mimosas, bro, I don't care if it's Ron DeSantis. Yeah, Tony Cruz. What's his name Ted Cruz?

Cruz I don't care who it is. I'll vote for him. Yeah, I need I need that happy hour It's the only way I'm happy. Could you imagine? That one hour of the day We're Joe's happy Honestly, it's a lot of hours, but yeah, I think we can can wrap this up a bit I wanted to say this. I didn't say it before but I do like your shirt today. Thank you so much. I appreciate it I Would you get it? I think this one was

Forever 21 they have men's stuff They do not a woman's shirt. I used to get some stuff from Forever 21 Fit pod. There you go. There you go crush it. Where'd they find you Frank? Falver's 8085 on Twitter the Frank Alvarez on Twitch and Instagram Hopefully I'll be back on Twitch soon and then make sure you check out the patreon patreon.com slash the basement yard Remember that little football we were throwing around earlier That's prop from one of the shows where there's also a rubber or something that you might want to see pocket pussy Oh, well, there it is

but Go check out the patreon. We are over 11,000 the most we've ever had Continuously breaking records and we want to get in at top 10 and We need your help and we appreciate all the support But go check it out patreon.com slash the basement yard You sent out for that first tier which you can you get these weekly episodes a week in advance a week before everybody else Oh my god I'm a regular normie person and I watch the basement yard when it's public on YouTube. That's cool

We love you too, but guess what be a cool person go to patreon and then that next year Well, that's where the goodies come in you get those exclusive episodes where we review sex toys where you can watch me getting my My under waxed his hole my hole, but all four of them So go check it out patreon.com slash the basement yard exclusive content on there You can watch it all for free if you sign up, I guess for the frump And you guys can go follow the show on tick tock and Instagram at the basement yard and that is all see you guys next time