The Basement Yard - #349 - It's Hot Dog Suckin' Season

Episode Date: June 6, 2022

Joe and Frank talk about the start of summer and of course grilled DOGS! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard Frank. I'm here. Yeah, you are. I'm here I'm not wearing a baby blue sweater that says mad happy and has teeth on the hood. Is that what those are? What? What? Are those teeth? Thread. It's not teeth. Oh, it's the actual thread in the hoodie Can I ask you? Did you think it was teeth? I thought it was like a design thing like you're mad happy and it's a shark or something Okay, you wear these these outrageous clothing choices, and I don't know all of them. I Wear you're gonna you're gonna point the finger at me and say I wear outrageous clothing choices I would say that you wear t-shirts that a seven-year-old would wear but you just wear them in an adult size

You wear very like so-ho chic clothing where it'll be a big giant sweatshirt that in the middle Just has like the word like squish or some shit So don't you dare and I'll be like yo where you get that sweater and you be like yo I paid like a hundred thirty bucks for it. I'd be like that's fucking ridiculous squish that that's something that you would do Tell me I'm wrong. I love that. Tell me I'm wrong. You are wrong. No, you're right. Thank you Yeah, where'd you get that from? That's pretty cool. Um, this is the name of the company. Oh mad happy Yeah, free free plug right there. Yeah, I mean it wasn't it. I was just gonna wear it, but now now in how you doing I'm pretty good. Yeah. Well, we have a weekend coming up

We have it's the beginning people will say it's Memorial Day weekend is the beginning of the summer Yeah, or a certain season of the year and We've had a couple seasons through our lifetime people Savage season right we have savage season, you know winter summer spring autumn that kind of thing No, they all pale in comparison to the season that is that's dog-sucking season. It's fucking dog-sucking season right now We need to rewrite the narrative because by the way hot dogs not gay People people rewrote the narrative I was like no hot dogs. I thought you were like not gay. I was like, I'm not saying it's gay

I'm saying I know we're talking about eating hot dog. Yeah, there are people out there particularly men Mm-hmm of a certain age bracket I would say like the 16 to like 22 That are so not confident in themselves and their sexuality that they have just deemed eating hot dogs is gay Yeah, and I'll tell you this if eating hot dogs is gay. I'm fucking gay. I'm Clay Aiken dude Yeah, dude, I am who's the gayest person ever Neil Patrick Harris

No, you think there's gayer than him Nathan Lane He's fucking gay. Yeah, I like Nathan Lane a lot the bird cage. What a movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah But it is dog-sucking season and I'm gonna fucking. Oh my god. I'm gonna fucking do it walk me through your perfect dog Are you a classic do that? Are you a classic American boy? You're just good with just ketchup I am but like also if there's yo like yo you put some like chili on this thing I'll be honest with you right now like I'm not even kidding I got so amped up just now thinking about putting chili on a hot dog like I thought about like

I don't know why this is where my mind went But I was like if I have to hit my mom as hard as I can why I will do it also. I broke my mom's toe recently Was it for a dog? No, no, no, I just did it for free. So you've broken I stepped on her toe You've broken your mother's ribs. Yeah, I broke her rib. You've broken your mother's toe. Yeah And no, I mean keep keep doing this after this this show. You'll break her heart pretty soon Yeah, no, I've done that too in the past for sure But yeah, I stepped on her toe and I broke that shit But uh, well, I don't know if it's broken. I think it's maybe it's just like a contusion

But whatever the bitch is hurting she was she was hobbling around Did your mom got hollow bones like a canary? Dude, she's an old fragile irish Woman and this if the sun doesn't get her you're you fucking stepping on her or bumping into her I mean, yeah, she bruises like a peach apparently too windy. She's just bruised from the wind. Is she okay? I I feel bad and your mom's not old your mom is what 60 What? She's almost 70. Well, she knows she's 60 7 what year was she born

She's 65 60. No, she's 60. She's just turned 67. Wow. I didn't know that 66 that damn I didn't know this. I I thought your mom was a spring chicken, but you know what age Mentally, how old your mom my mom is 59 Oh, no, man. My mom was fucking she's mad. Why she's she's smarter than your mom. Your mom is probably smarter than my mom I'll say I'll say it's no offense mom, but I forget about our moms for a second because Something else is more important and that's dog-sucking season. Oh, yeah, which it is It's dog-sucking season get out there suck some dogs. It's gonna be moral day weekend There's gonna be hot dogs

There's gonna be hamburgers and I'm not hating on the hamburger because I'll probably fucking suck a couple of those too And listen, let me tell you something a lot of I'll suck some ham A lot of people are you know, they're they're on there They're soapbox and they're like listen dog-sucking season I'm not going to eat dogs because beef hot dogs discussing guess what they have chicken hot dogs They do they got vegan hot dogs. They do. I don't care. What's in the hot dog if it's if you call it a dog A cold whatever. Yeah suck that dog down. Yeah, 100% throw some I'm going let's listen. I'm going like this. You ready? I'm so excited to hear this hot dog

And I want like a big meaty son of a bitch Yeah, I want a fat fuck I want a ballpark frank and I want one that like You know when you buy into certain hot dogs and it fucking snaps at your teeth Like you buy it and like the fucking casing is like Get your fucking yeah. Well, I want that. You know what I might be I might bring specialty hot dogs this weekend Just to show you a little bitch. What does that mean the best hot dog I've ever had in my life I it was it's a brand called thumans Thumin dude, what are they? What is it like bison?

No, it's just beef But it's like when when they get so hot they like Break in the middle because oh, oh, it's good. Oh and they start opening up Yeah, they're part in the red sea the hot dog red sea. Oh, you know, I actually I hate who do you hate? Well, no, I I well, there's a few people. Okay, but like when people like slice their hot dogs down the middle What the fuck are we doing? You know, I I respect it. I don't respect that you really you're all against it No, and I'll tell you what else is fucking weird about me since we're talking about tomorrow day weekend and like all this type of shit

bro I don't know why When I'm eating a hamburger, I don't like my buns toasted I like my shit to be legit. Like I could I could go either way. I could go either way I just don't think it's necessary. I don't like it, but I'm like I'll tell you why I do sometimes toast it because I like to load my bitches up I'm loading my my my burgers. I'm putting some mayo on there. Catch up pickles Uh lettuce tomato onions onion if I really want to deluxe it up and sometimes the amount of moisture because I got juicy burgers

Okay, yeah, yeah, you got to get a juicy loose. It can really it can affect the you know, oh juicy lucy You just said it. Yeah, fuck now. I need to make them dude. I'm gonna eat a lot When you you oh my god, you get a patty you fucking cut in half you put barbecue sauce You put the other side on it and then you fucking cook it and then you bite into it and it gets all over your shirt Yeah, uh, but my hot dog go inside and change. I'm going ketchup Sourcrout bushes baked beans on top. Let me tell you that's a fucking meal. That's four quads Wow, you're a fan of the bush. You got your protein your sugar your day. You don't have dairy, but I'll I'll I'll I'll figure out I'll dip it in milk. Yeah, wash it down with a cup of milk. Yeah, whatever. I'm gonna shit. Oh, man

I I'm looking I'm remembering the last time I had a dog and I'm hungry right now And I'm so right last time I had a dog double-fisted him in the hot tub in Key West That's right at 2 a.m. 2 a.m. 2 a.m. We got back to the house Frank's like you want a hot dog I'm like I'm good and he ate both of them idiot. Yeah, then honestly, but it wasn't dogs I can see and I'll say that I will say that it's tough when you're in warmer weather Is it ever not dogs? I can see and for all these people that swear that dogs are gay you were you were in Key West if there's ever a dog sucking capital of the u.s. Yes a gay cap, you know, it's gotta be Key West Yeah, that's true. So I really dropped the ball there and I apologize for that. Yeah, this is gonna be

It's officially dog sucking season in New York, which is where I'm from and that's where my body is accustomed to Well, let me tell you thrown off by being in Florida and guess what we want to also I'll say this I want to hear from the people that watch the show If you're having a dog Let me see that. Let me see that. Yeah. Yeah, I want to see what kind of tag us in those dogs Yeah, and don't fucking tag me in some stupid hot dog that just has mustard on it. You idiot. Oh, yeah I mean, listen, I shit fire. I've made it very clear where I stand on mustard. I hate mustard Um, but I respect the dog too much. You know what I mean? Like I love people

I hate, you know stupid people but at the end of the day, like I respect the dog way way way more I respect the hot dog. Yeah, so you didn't let us know. There's some there's some iconic dogs out there Hot dogs are better than hamburgers, right? Without a doubt. Yeah, but a good cheeseburger is tough to be I do fuck with a cheeseburger and usually I'm not gonna lie because like you never met Yo, who the fuck makes hot dogs without making hamburgers and if you're doing that stop doing that shit So I'm getting really fucking pissed off Okay, no, but it when someone's like, oh we're making hot dogs and hamburgers. What do you want? What's your order? Oh, I go two hot dogs one cheeseburger

Really? And if I'm really if I'm if I've been drinking I say make a lot Yeah, yeah, because I can if I'm drinking my my stomach knows no bounds Yeah, I don't even answer if I'm drinking because I'm like make make more and I'll just eat it the whole day. What do you want? Yes, yeah. Oh, I just yes, I do. Yeah, but usually I go one on one, but I never only eat that Yeah, I always I always go more. Yeah So if there's not leftover I'm I'm gonna be the trick Joe. I might go to one like the trick is I'm always anytime getting so No, I don't know why I love hot dogs so much, but my god bro because fucking dog. It's dog sucking season, baby

Um, I like to I like to sandwich my meal. I'm a little weird when it comes to eating Like if I have like a meal of like hypothetically if it's like chicken mac and cheese and salad I pick like what I want it like what I'm the most excited for then I eat it last Oh, you like to like but I also start it with a little bite to like remind myself Like this is waiting for you at the end. Oh a little foreplay. So what I do you're a slutty eater I'm a whore What I do is I start if I go if I go two dogs one one cheeseburger start with a dog cheeseburger in the middle

And then if I want another dog I just tack it on that's that's plus tax. Yeah, you know that's a tip. It's insurance runs It's 100% insurance runs And honestly, I may break my own record for hot dog eating Do you want to you want to do a friendly competition this weekend? Who can eat the most hot dogs? Like in the whole weekend. Yeah, okay. I can't eat them fast. Uh, I'm pathetic at I I can I can just eat a lot. I'm a I'm a sprint. I'm I'm I'm a Marathon runner. I'm not a sprinter either. Right. Right. I like to take my time on a dog. Um You like to take your time sucking that dog down. Yeah

Yeah, yeah, I do I do I do man. This is gonna be good. It is this is gonna be good Would you ever get like those dogs like it like uh, like you ever put mac and cheese on a hot dog? Have you ever done that? No Melvina mac and cheese on a dog I went I've had a hot dog before that they put like hot dog and then breadcrumbs and they baked it I don't fuck you. Yeah. No, I legitimately I wanted to like Cry yeah, I was I was A mess how my quit is it's good. It's so good

Do it we should do it and hot dogs are so versatile, dude I chop them up have them with my eggs huevos con weenie. It's so fucking good. That's a good breakfast What is it called huevos con? Weenie was it was it was a weenie weenie. No, no, I know what you're saying That's what that's what I do say dick in Spanish. I forget like Some of the p pinga pinga. Oh, well, I think that's a word. We just gave it because I don't know We had a portuguese friend in high school Do you remember that chicka pinga?

You call who'd you call that? You don't remember that there was a bar that we would we he would we had a friend in high school Yeah, I'll give first name only mani. Oh, okay And we would we were fucking 17 going to like a portuguese bar because no one would ask us our age And we would get loaded fire and we never knew the name of the bar But we knew it as the portuguese bar. So we just called it like chicka pinga racism It's always I think he called it that and he gave us the permission right? Yeah, you know Yeah, and then we were allowed permissible race. It was permissible racism, which is just fun

I don't think you could be racist against portuguese people I think you could Tell me how to teach me your ways. Um So I don't know and I'll press them. I don't know. Oh, yeah, press Oppress a white your white middle europeans. I'm sure that they're really like having a Joke, yeah, okay. Yeah, I just said we just said a hundred times that we were gonna suck dogs My dog sitting right here He's laying on all of the electricity. So one of these things go out. It's a wrap or if he goes up in flames

Also a wrap Yeah, that would be a no there the the the subtle racism against the portuguese men and women right joke The way that we're gonna attack dog sucking season. Oh my god, there's nothing joking about that. Yeah, it's a very serious topic Yeah, I'm gonna attack some dogs Very excited. Yeah, and I I don't play it like I'll have a couple beers. I don't plan on getting like drunk drunk Oh, man, I do. Yeah, you're gonna be throwing them. You're gonna be throwing them seltzies back. Yeah, that's probably why I'm gonna Also, I'm just gonna bring a lot of champagne dude. Champagne. Yeah, what are we celebrating? Nothing. We're just gonna have mimosas You're mimosing it up on memorial day weekend, bro. There's gonna be sunlight

I'm drinking orange juice Wow, I didn't uh, I don't know. I didn't know that I told Danny I would bring a bottle of champagne Wow, I told him I'd bring a bottle of ace of spades Jesus christ. Have you ever had that? No, it just tastes like champagne. Yeah, but man, does it taste better than regular champagne? That's a cool. I paid for it. Yeah, that's a cool bottle. It is a very cool bottle But I guarantee remember remember the when we were growing up remember this There was people in a story that had a party by the name of the summer sizzler I do. Do you remember what they would do with their vodka?

Would they like pour it in like a watermelon or no? No, no, no, no, no, no So um, they would charge everyone ten dollars to get in Very smart, right? But they kept this giant gray goose bottle And they just filled it Like originally when they bought it, obviously gray goose in it and they would fill it with georgie vodka And they would charge people like yo like gray goose is gray goose five dollars per shot So it would cost them ten dollars to fill up the bottle

And they would charge five dollars a shot and they would make like probably like two hundred dollars off the bottle Let me tell you something about vodka. Yeah, go ahead. I I would I was about to say I would give up sucking dogs or to not take a shot of vodka But that's not true But that's how much I hate vodka that would be could I would be willing to consider giving up hot dogs forever Just to never do a shot of vodka again. All right Well, I would shot of vodka is like the thing when you're in fucking middle school

And it's like what do you do a shot of vodka, you know, but Yeah, I I just shoot tequila. I don't like vodka the rest of it sucks I don't like but people like drink. Uh, I remember when we were in uh or whiskey qs Someone kept getting vodka sodas and I was like, yeah, what are you doing? Like that's not delicious in any Capacity when we went to fire island last summer I made the mistake of like we went into one bar and uh There was just mad people so it was crowded like pete was like closest to the bar and I was like

I was like, just get me whatever you're getting. What a fucking mistake Because pete drinks he'll be like, let me get your smokiest mezcal and fucking grapefruit juice. No I fucking wish honestly. What are you doing? But he just gets like like tequila sodas. Yeah, I have one of those I hate this when we were in key west it was that's how I know we've made it and we've officially grown up You don't have to be like, you know, like I'm gonna buy my own drinks Like people just go like, what do you want? Like you bought rounds? I bought rounds people around There was one time where pete was like you want a drink and I was like, sure. Well, he's like, what do you want? I was like, I don't care. Just get me what you're getting same thing tequila soda disgusting

Disgusting disgusting because it's well tequila And it's just bubbly water. I don't like it. It's not good man. I just like Put something in here, dude. Give me something, you know, I would just rather drink fucking whiskey If we're just gonna have a fucking liquor here Well, that's what I did at uh, I went to a wedding recently And it was uh, like it was like an out of venue, but like there was an outside catering company So the bar was a little limited So I was like, normally I go to an open bar first drink I get and I was I know I was just saying I hate vodka

I only like it in two situations. Oh, I know what you're gonna say and I like it too Get first drink I get extra dirty martini extra oligies. Never mind. Fucking hate that Yo, yo that open bar literally. Yeah, we'd rather drink gas Well, you basically are but I love olives So that's anytime I go to an open bar and it's pop shelf liquor First thing I start with my rule of an open bar Frank's rule of her open bar. Ladies and gentlemen you start With one drink And then every drink you order has to be of a different spirit

So second drink will be a fucking gin and tonic third drink will be in no fashion fourth drink will be a gin and tonic. Yeah Jins jins good same thing. No, Jen. Jen has a juniper berry flavor. Don't do this But I got there and they were like, oh, we can't and I was like, all right Just literally just pour whiskey in a cup and I got a full cup of just Jameson Bro, and I just drank that when I went to Nashville. There's a bar over there called Like tootsies or something. Yeah something. What's it called? It's something called. I think it's called tootsies. Okay, but it was the first bar we went to apparently It's like the most it's like the oldest or like the whatever and it's like it's a cool bar

It was packed. Dude. I get like an inch through the door. This place is packed There's mad people in front of me definitely a lot of people between me and the bar I get an inch in the bartender. I guess had already given everyone drinks. It was like, what do you want? like me I was like Six shots of jameson Because I was like, let's take a shot. We had just gotten there get the night started, you know

We landed like fucking an hour and a half before we got to the hotel dropped our shit off and went out So I was like, let's start this night with a shot like whatever bro. They gave us like plastic Clear plastic cups and just filled it like halfway. I was like, well, I'm not shooting this This is psychotic. Mm-hmm and some kid we're with just fucking Oh, I thought you meant the little shot glasses fucking no bro. Like the big yes Like water cooler like those like hold like a fucking cup. Damn. That's a lot. I was like Jesus lady You're trying to kill me. Well, she probably was probably saw you your mad happy sweatshirt and said this guy's an easy target Easy mark as they call him in the biz which biz is that the biz I I would say that

Yeah, my I am the only time I'll drink vodka is an extra dirty martini or and I know you hate this one too A good bloody Mary dude because that's what bloodies are made with freak show of a drink But dude the mimosas this might that might be a move this weekend. Let's fucking but you know, obviously I don't I I don't play it. I got both kids and if I fucking kids if I drink too much I'll be miserable the day after and then it'll just be but but but Here's here's one of the things about kids. God they do go to sleep They do go to sleep, but they also do wake up. They also got two parents

They well, yes, but I the role in my house is I'm the morning guy I'm the morning guy not on vacation. I'm making up roles. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know What are you doing here? I don't know. I'm trying to just spin it. It's gonna be good If we're gonna wake up. I might you know what I might suck a dog down for breakfast. That's the other thing dogs Any meal of the day? I'm gonna let you know a little secret go ahead recently You know who's been on a a breakfast dog sucking tear ryan lynch gregg Oh Break's been sucking dogs down in the morning. He's been getting those Hebrew national kosher ones. Yeah, he's

Well, he's beginning these like organic ones. They're still hot dogs. They're probably hot dogs a hot dog I don't care what you call it. Yeah, like the dog. It like gets a walk around. Oh, cool You get one from a local butcher. Guess what? It's a fucking hot dog. It's a hot dog, bro There's still cigarettes in it or whatever the fuck Yeah, they're killing us, but it's fine damn morning dogs for Greg Yeah, he yesterday we were in here and then he fucking was like, yo, you know I have for breakfast this morning And I was like What and he's like two hot dogs. I was like

That's so I was like, did you cut him up and he was like nah, I was like, damn that's bro You want to you want to be you want this is what I do sometimes for breakfast serious and I got this from my dad Chop up a hot thinly slice in a hot dog saute it And then just throw the eggs in the pan and scramble the eggs in like the hot dog the eggs like bake the hot dogs in And oh, oh, oh, oh, it's the best and you put that son of a bitch on a fucking on two pieces of bread A little ketchup. You got yourself a fucking breakfast at the gods. Yeah, dude. Now you're sucking dogs and chickens I don't give a shit. I don't know I'm saying I would rather I mean

I'm down dogs chickens tomatoes. I'll I'll take tomatoes ketchup Oh, yeah, I forget that that's made out of good time But yes, I am killing chickens, but I know we have a story to talk about where a chicken was killing somebody else Wow, Frankie Wow That was unbelievable because we do have a story pulled up here about a cock fight Uh, which is can be confused with two men slapping their dicks against each other But that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about animals now

Believe it or not before we were talking about food. Now we are talking about animals Yeah, believe it or not. We're not talking about two men wagging their dicks in front of each other. Yes, they're not wagging them seeing you've ever done that Like to my dick against another no no like like been like bro. Show me yours. I'll show you mine and like you guys compare sizes I don't think so. Yeah, I mean either good I was about to we didn't do that I've seen your I've seen your dick. I've seen your dick too. Yeah, it's not great mine. I mean, oh, what were you saying mine is It's it's fine. Yeah, it's fine. It's like it's it's a dick. Yeah, exactly There's nothing I've seen I say that all the time about my I'm not my dick's not no one's gonna be like what?

But no one's gonna be like there's no I am like you There's no reaction either way for mine. You're not like whoa and you're not like You're just like that's that's a penis right there. That's exactly what I expected. Why are we talking about this? I don't care Oh a cock fight. Yes. Yes. Yes. You ever peed in a toy bowl with like your brothers and stuff Oh, I'm I'm pretty sure I have as a kid mad times. I don't used to fight our streams I've never caught I've piss streamed fought. I've never cocked you fought Keith's dream I've never cock fought but I fought uh piss streams with my brother. I would assume that Keith isn't pretty We get in there and we have we have our bladders are full and we're ready for a piss fight

You guys like schedule it or no, no, no, we just it's like an energy in the air. Honestly Let me get up there. We throw the fucking toilet seat up and then we're both start peeing real hard It's just like the stars align like that you don't And then the streams start doing this but then piss gets over your leg I was gonna say that's gotta be like in ghostbusters. They say don't cross the streams You got some big thermal nuclear energy going on. Yeah, it's kind of like in star wars when like Like when the fucking lightsabers hit each other really does it like piss goes? Just like the inertia or like the force

Like make your dick like shoot to the right if you get like a healthy stream like if if like no, no, no And you're crossing. It's like boom. No, no, no. Does it cause your dick? No, you stay in there Okay, I didn't know bro water like heavy dude. He's a piss and shit together. That's crazy. The shit thing is weird Do you you express that that one? I don't understand. We thought it was the funniest thing in the world I'm glad someone did because guess what no one else did The rest of the world did not I think I actually I want to take that back. I think Espo and I used to poop together But like outside when we were babies, we would like run around naked and like

What yeah outdoors. Yeah as children. Yeah in this state. No, we're in in the state of Connecticut That's where we spent most of our time together. Okay, but he lives in the same neighborhood Yeah, we oddly enough running around shitting until we were like 15 16 We never hung out in Astoria. Yeah, and only saw each other at the lake house lived 10 blocks away from each other Yeah, didn't see each other from September until fucking March. I still have a quick cue um, you Were running around naked with Espo. Yes Shitting on the on the earth on well in particular. It was it's a it's a well-known story that we would shit on the deck

You oh, so not the earth well man-made surface. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Um, what how old? Young like I was you know, like two and a half and he was like one and change or something like that Like we don't want to I don't think my parents. My parents were just like whatever, you know, I think I'm saying I'm sure they tried to stop it. But also when you're two You get rid of a diaper pretty easy. It's not that hard. Baby my my one and a half year old daughter rips her diaper off sometimes It happens Damn, dude. She shouldn't know your fucking kitchen. She's not thank god. She hasn't gotten there yet I'll tell you right now though. I'll be very upset. She gets big time time outs

Big time time outs should be a big time time out or if she gets a shit on me How do you put your daughter in time out? Uh, I say no That'll do it And I say she's a I'll tell her she's being a bad girl One more time. Sorry I will tell her. Yeah Ruby. No, you're right. You're being a big bad girl girl Now I got most of that

But the last part felt like something I've never heard before. Can you say that part slow? It's something you find when you have kids like when you when you talk to charlie You sometimes come up with cute things to say and do and you don't plan it It's not like I'm thinking in my head like wow I'm gonna call my daughter a big timer when she's born. It just It happens. I see her and I'm just like this is a big time baby. Right. So she becomes a big timer This is a big time baby, you know, same thing. I don't look at her and go what what cutie nicknames gonna have for her They just come to me as I say them and she's being a bad girl. She'll be big time big time bad girl

What do you do with your big time bad girl big big? Oh, yeah, so but um Yeah That's beautiful, man Cockfighting cock fighting cock fighting. Well the story. What was the story? So the story goes that about a year and change ago. There was a gentleman. I believe in india um, sorry crisscross apple salsia and he And he uh Was involved in an illegal cock fighting ring and to give his

Cock the upper hand. You always want your cocked up. He had attached a knife to it Which is yo, I don't know the rules of cock fighting never been to a cock fight before But i'm pretty sure attaching knives is super illegal. Something doesn't seem right about that. That's that's cock steroids I would I would yeah, that's like, you know, that's like battle bots like at that point just like put them in full armor Why give him a knife if you're not just gonna attach a fucking nine millimeter to this I'm sure you can find some chain mail that attaches to a cock. Yeah and uh, and He attached like a three inch blade to it and he went to pick the the animal up and it fluttered and

Stabbed him fire in the groin in the cock Can't write this stuff baby god works in weird ways. Wait, so this cock stabbed him in his cock. Yeah, and he died No, he didn't yeah, no, he didn't yes. He did dude. He went Bro, what a story that is to tell god I don't mean to be insensitive to this individual who's died although they were clearly a criminal So all their rights are gone. Yeah, you can't fight cocks and then expect sympathy at that point that happens to you I get stabbed in the cock you get stabbed in the cock. Wait, how do you your cock? How do you die from cock? Bro blood? Yeah, you bleed a lot. That's a very bloody area

You know, there's a lot of you know capillaries and you know, I don't believe this arteries cock fight Stabbed you want me to send you the the link? Oh, shit. He was killed Oh, he put it on his foot I mean, that's just a good strategy It is it is no is it because outfitted with a three inch knife on its leg three inches, bro. Trust me. I know three inches Yeah, that's a huge knife Huge three inch blade that'll get you

Yeah, that'll do the job that'll do the trick. It'll definitely like be enough It's definitely enough to get it. You only need like a two inch blade Oh, the rooster repeatedly stabbed him in the groin. Yeah, because it was fluttering This is the thing if you're gonna attach a knife to a chicken get your cock out of it, but not even that Why not? It's wings roosters don't kick. They just walk and they kind of nah, bro They fucking they kick when they fight do they they try to kill the other fucking bird I thought you were saying you never been to a cock fight. How do you know this? I've read You've seen I've seen you've seen cock fights

Even birds that win their mattress often suffer injuries so severe that they too are killed that's sad very sad First of all pita go after these people. That's like the but that's also like the ending of gladiator spoiler alert Damn, well, you can't you can't give the ending and then say spoiler alert after I'm just telling people I did spoil it Too late. Yeah, they haven't seen gladiator They now know that he dies because he gets a knife attached to his foot and stabbed by a chicken Yo, if you haven't seen gladiator one not your friend two You better go suck some dogs this weekend and make up for it. Yeah

and three You don't need to see it now. I just told you how it ends. Yeah, the chicken gets them. This is chicken It's the chicken that gets him. Um, but yeah, I can't believe this guy died Could you imagine a worse way like I would be I'd tell my family like as I'm dying like like dying words like Don't even do a funeral. Like this is embarrassing. Don't let them report this. Yeah, don't just say like I got stabbed by You know a really noble Like doing something really noble, right, you know like saving my family from an armed burglar Right not getting stabbed by a chicken an armed bird

Yeah, uh, also in this thing it says, uh, in the u.s. Cock findings consider felony in 42 states one of the eight that I'll tell you right now. One of them has got to be like alabama florida Yeah in august of last year the loss the ellie, uh Oh the ellie chef's department busted a ring with more than 2,000 birds. I thought you were gonna say 200 2,000 birds dude. That's so much fighting Is there like money to be made in cock fighting? Oh, I'm sure that's just straight gambling

But like why do you know you got a good cock anything else dude, but how do you know you got a good cock? Yeah, you know, I mean you could probably tell from its curvature It's aggressive aggression like a big like a big fat. Well, they give they give these damn things so many fucking steroids now Bro, you ever you've seen you've got a shop writer stop job. You see the pack of chicken breasts nowadays, of course But how do you train a cock to kill? I think you I think they're instinctually Just want to kill everything. No, bro. You see I see cocks on the fucking discovery channel and they're just walking around fucking chickens are direct Descendants of t-rexes. They got it in them

Bro, I don't even believe that look that's shit up dinosaurs were birds dude. They had feathers Bro bro first raptors had feathers Current chickens are close. They're like related to them. It's like they're you know Like their third or fourth million removed cousin, but like they still got that shit in their brain, dude What so explain this to me about evolution? How do you go from big fucking t-rex? To little chicken. What what would be the reason through time things happen, you know where I can't sit here I am no charles darwin joey. I'm not gonna be able to walk you through. I've never seen Jurassic Park I've seen it quite a bit and then they have that fucking

chickens Look up first of all. Yeah, don't don't try to yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure look up bro the Jurassic Park Dinosaurs not accurate since that has come out. We have understood We've gotten the information and understand that they had feathers dog They had fucking wings dude raptors had wings. Look that shit up I'm fucking telling you raptors had wings raptors had wings Feathers is what I mean feathers. Oh my god with with feathers with feathers raptors with feathers That's more accurately. Uh, what fucking dinosaurs look like

Get the fuck out of here. Now look up chickens related to t-rexes They have it in their brain instinctually they're murderers dude just like house cats There was a study that came out that said that house cats still have the fucking instincts to want to kill everyone They're related to chickens and ostriches Ostriches I get because those motherfuckers are weird. They're pretty big and they got powerful legs apparently they look like little fucking skinny bald-headed Fucks they're powerful. I don't know about this though. You don't need to know about it. It happened I don't know, but I I don't like bro if I'm gonna run something illegal and try to make money off it last thing I'm doing is the very loud and noisy

and attention-seeking Game of chicken fighting. Yeah Dog fighting remember that's six out of a bitch dog fighting is fucked up. I would much rather watch chickens kill each other Yeah, I mean I hate most birds as it is Let's get to these ads. Oh, no um If you're having a hard time out there and you got a lot of stuff going on You can get some help and better help better help

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We're doing a show but another place where people can watch us talk about cox patreon patreon.com slash the basement yard We like to tell people about patreon all the time And uh, we're currently like number 23 or something like that. We want 23 or 22 in the world We want to get in that top 10 boy and joey's gonna be doing something next I did the the waxing of my bunge. Yes, you're frump my frump And my unge. Yeah, and your burlap sack Let me tell you it was a it was torn to shreds. Yeah, it was very uncomfortable pretty much back to normal now Sweet, but it was when everything was coming back in it was really really uncomfortable

I can imagine But if you guys don't know what we're talking about or if you haven't seen it join patreon Guess what that first tier you get these weekly episodes a week in advance So those times you go and look at the episode on monday morning and you say what the hell six days ago Someone commented guess what you get access to that if you join that first tier on the patreon that next tier Well, that's where the goodness comes. All right Every friday morning you get exclusive episodes that are a little out of control a little off the beaten path some may say and you get to start and end your week with the basement yard and

double and and and Every other episode that has ever been put on there you get access to so if you're like, oh my god I only I have to wait until next week. No, no, no, no go back to two years ago a year and a half ago Three weeks ago. You get it patreon.com slash the basement yard. We're continuing to break records We keep doing it. Joey's gonna do something stupid funny dangerous Gross, we're not sure yet, but go check it out. Yeah, we're gonna figure it out. There's a lot. We have big plans That's all we do have big plans Also, I wanted to say something because we had talked about a story that happened and then it reminded me because you said that

You like to shit outside. Holy shit. Oh my god. Keith. Just scared. We need to stop Stop not locking the door. Why do you know what you're scared of? You son of a bitch, what'd you got? Keith's in here. You got food Oh, I gave you the middle finger. What is he wearing scrubs? How did this stuff? I like what is this? I think I saw hold on. Can I ask you a question because go ahead. You can ask me whatever you would like. This is funny. You're my best friend Okay, I You're my best friend When you do what you just drank that with your teeth. What the fuck was that? You just chew coca-cola

Did you just chew coca-cola because I saw you go What the fuck was that? Is that chunky? Sometimes I have a bit of an exaggerated slurp. I got it. Um Take that ejaculate Do you know something I don't? What'd you put in this coke? I was gonna say bring that uh exaggerated slurp to dog sucking season this week Yeah, um But you remember when you were younger and like obviously we knew what the middle finger was Have you ever heard this rumor because yes, this was the chinese middle finger. Yeah, I heard that. Is that true?

I don't fucking know. But guess what? We're about to find the fuck out. I mean, I know that there's things in other Like I've read before on twitter, which makes it real Is that there are things that we do in the us that are like just like violently offensive elsewhere And this like I don't know about that, but like there's other ones where it's like I think I remember reading once or learning once that like people that are just like, okay That's like white power. That's a white power. Yeah, white power White power, uh, and like it's also like offensive elsewhere for other things. It just is like super offensive This like okay, throw it up higher

And over your heart um In chinese culture at least in hong kong Balling a fist and sticking up the pinky indicates it's useless or it's the worst Well, that's disrespectful to pink indicates the best and it's number one These gestures were derived symbolically from the thumb being the first finger and thinking being the last finger. Hello um, I did it by accident, but I guess

Yeah, so it's the opposite of the thumb like cool Fuck you. Oh like two thumbs way up in china. It's like two pinkies way down Yeah, but if it's like so so then it's middle finger though because if we're going by like middle like So this is the story that I had been told was that the middle finger was a It was like used by native americans And apparently allegedly this is what the story I was told allegedly Native americans were so skilled with bow and arrows

And when they would pull the string back they would use their middle finger So when they would be captured by you know, the people colonizing the united states whites. Yeah You guys they would cut off their middle fingers So they couldn't shoot so they couldn't shoot. So as a sign of being like antagonistic They would be like guess what look what we got. Is that true? That's what I've heard Wow, I I mean, I like that you got the google machine. Oh, I'm not gonna look that up Take it for what it is. That sounds fucking rad. I think that sounds pretty cool Like that makes if it's against whites white people love it

I'm all about it, dude There's a white guy watching this going I don't know about frank. Yeah It's classic racist against whites. Yeah, well, well it is a comedy show guys. Can't and also not a thing Can't be racist against white people. Oh now you're just opening up a can of worms. Oh, well. Yeah, whatever I mean, you could be insensitive can of worms. I hate that shit. Yeah, where did that term come from too? It's like who actually opened up a can of worms and they were just like, oh my god, you douchebag Well, now you've done it Now you've done it now. We've got a bunch of problems. Oh my god. No, there's just a can of earthworms

The day's ruined guys. I feel like I used to play with worms a lot when I was a kid You ever eat a worm or a bug or anything? Me eat a bug. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, I had a caterpillar Like a big juicy hairy motherfucker Like pumba Yeah, bro. You're gonna tell me pumba and tamon didn't make those fucking Those bugs look delicious those bugs and uh, I was gonna say a lion's life the fuck is wrong with me and and the lion king That was like a bug's life in lion king

Uh, yeah, they looked amazing like at one point. He just picks up this plate of bugs He takes up a beetle off of it and just cracks it and I was like, damn dude. That did look delicious They look good. Um, yeah, I'm not fucking with no fucking beetles, bro. What was the other thing you asked me? If I ate a worm now, I don't know I went it's just a worm. It's in the dirt. I don't know. I mean clean it off, dude You want me to take a worm out of the dirt and then go clean it and then eat it? I mean, yeah, or I could just have food though Dogs second season. Yeah, I could have a fucking dog. Would you put it if if if I gave you a hot dog?

And I said there there is a worm inside this hot dog. Are you eating it still? It depends how far I am from civilization because if there are no other hot dogs I could get to then I'll eat it I'll say All of these dogs have a single worm in them From now on in life. No, just just this weekend Oh, and you can't go you're you can't go get it anymore. Fuck that, bro I'm drowning that bitch and like if there's chili on it. Definitely. Yeah, you have heat it up So it kills the worm inside. I'm not worried about it being alive. Oh, okay

I'm worried about like ew, but like if there's like chili on it and shit. You would never know I know I wouldn't But if it was just like a raw dog Raw dog you raw dog in it this weekend. I don't think I would ever raw dog a hot dog. You would do that I would never they come cooked. You just know I'm talking about just like no topping. Oh That's kind of crazy. No, but I did grow up in a household where we would often have hot dogs boiled hot dogs for dinner And we wouldn't always have buns so we would just wrap them in bread bread. Yeah, I would do that too. Yeah Um, not as good

My dad used to do this trick when we were younger where he'd be like Especially in the summer when it was dog-sucking season where he'd say like I love you and then not. Yeah. Yeah, he would do this My dad did that same trick Are we bro, um, no, but he would say He'd be like, hey, you want a hot dog? And I go, yeah, fuck. I'm down. He goes. All right. Make me one too And I was like, yeah, I don't want it now Smart boy smart man. He would call you my buddy slide did that once we were at we were like hanging out in college

and someone was like, um He goes, oh my god Are you Are you going to get mcdonald's and we were like No, but I guess I'll I'll go now and he's like, all right. Can you get me and we were like, what the fuck man? That's just smart. He was like, oh and then we were like So you want us to go to mcdonald's and get you food and he's like, well if you're offering and it's like you've just brought Up the whole situation. You just you did this. Yeah, another good trick is

If you're eating something And I and I want it And you go, are you gonna eat that and put your finger in it? Yeah. Yeah. Are you gonna eat this? You're like, well fucking now. I'm not my dad used to tell me this story that he would work on construction site with my uncle uncle teal uncle uncle uncle uncle And apparently he was such a fucking germaphobe that he would like scrub clean This like reusable cup and like get water from the water filter and stuff like that And my dad said that like he

Would scrub this cup clean give it to my dad and my dad would be like, all right And he'd be like, can you fill it up with water and go like, all right My dad would fill it up with water and then he'd hand it back to him with his finger in it like this It's amazing and it's fucking genius. Oh my dad Want so this is a good story too. It's similar to that where my dad and I think it was my uncle It was like they it was just when like Thomas is my brother's eight years older than me. But like he when he was like 22 or something like when you're in like prime like beer pong age, you know what I mean? So like 18 to

16 for me. Yeah You know They may have been like fucking 20 years old or something But they were playing beer pong At their house and he would he would just stand there and and he's like, what are these cups the water cups? Because like oh, it's the floor, you know, you clean it off whatever smart telling my dad that was the worst idea Just drink the beer no because because they would have beers in the in the cups So my dad would take it would get the ball and like you got to clean it off

He would clean it off and then throw it in his mouth and shoot Or he's like he'd take it and just wipe his ass and shoot the he's like you drink that cup You're pussy. Well, do you remember what we would do at the lake house when we would play chandelier We would play chandelier with like so chandeliers is like a combination of beer pong and flip cup. There are Um, just cups or whoever's playing there are cups in a circle and you have your own cup You fill it with you know this much beer or whatever your seltzer or whatever and in the middle There's an upside down cup and then a cup on top. I don't know why I use my whole arm Yeah, fist it and a cup on top

And normally you're supposed to fill the cup on top with beer to the rim Yeah, and then whoever like you bounce the ball it goes in there. Everyone drinks does flip cup Whoever's the last to do it has to drink the top cup Our friends would always drink different stuff. One person was drinking buzz light another person was drinking coarse light Miller light corona heart seltzers. Yeah, so whatever we were drinking we would put in the middle cup So that middle cup was a concoction of the grossest shit And then we would always say like, you know, you don't want the middle cup finger the cup And all of us would just shove our fingers in that top. Wait, what you don't remember this

Why would we finger the cup because it's like you don't want to drink it. So it's like How does that make sense because whoever drinks it and then has to drink the gross concoction with all of our fingers in it You don't remember that Yeah, we would say finger your cup because you would finger your cup to show which one was yours And then everyone would start fingering the top cup when there was all the shit in it You should be like You'd always have like fucking like someone's stupid. Would you be like, oh Probably you know, most likely most likely

Um, we had stuff we were talking about. I don't know. Um, but you know what I have to get to these ads again Well, I just I just do and I know you did that but whatever. Listen guys, keep your home safe with simply safe Uh, frank's got some be safe. It's easy to set up and also just to give you a little background on how this thing works There's a story here that they have it was a guy named joshua He fell asleep with pizza rolls still in the oven I'm gonna guess that joshua may have been a little bit of inebriated here Because we've all done this right come home a little hungry Try to make something forget about it. Go to sleep. Unfortunately for him. They caught fire could have been disastrous fire started

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Or you can keep a straw in there and you just kind of like use it like a fucking straw Um, and I like that honestly, I don't know why I think that I drink water a lot I drink more water when I'm drinking it through a straw. I don't even know if that's true But it's just something that I feel But it's great. I suggest everyone get one stay hydrated out there. This is how I'm staying hydrated I fill it up in the morning. I try to drink at least one a day. I usually do but and I fill it up again and try to You know, I'm pissing like crazy people Um, but go get yourself a hydro jug go to uh, the hydro jug dot com use the discount code basement

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And I tried to say this before but naturally we just got off track But there was a story recently that kind of furthers a theory that I had a while ago Because you were talking about how you and as well used to shit on the ground Yes, we did and you would ruin people's times and stuff like that We were two people were more amused by it than devastated people hated and they hated you when you were younger. Um Yeah, no, they hated you they were disgusted by you and all your poop stop. Um so similar story

But a woman Was caught she was the pooper trader Which is a fun way of saying Perpetrator, but she shit on the floor. Yeah in a salon. I believe it was right. Okay and uh Apparently destroyed like eight wigs stop Okay, hold on besides my my self-esteem. I don't think I've ever used a bathroom and destroyed anything How in god's name to someone

I assume this woman shit on the floor. Yes, she said on the floor how you destroy wigs I don't know But to me it sounds like maybe some women slipped and fell in this shit And they what were carrying of fucking torches with an open flame on it and just like took out some wigs while they were on the way down Dude, you don't get shit on a wig and then wash it and keep it I mean, but why if it's on the floor, Frank, you can get shit on anything. Did she cover it with wigs? I don't know. Oh, did she wipe did she wipe her bub? With the wigs with wigs. I would do that. It's horse hair

Why would you wipe your ass with horse hair? It's why would you shit in a fucking beauty store? People are acting irrationally as it is Joey. Maybe have to Or was it a protest? I don't think what are you? I don't know. Maybe she was overcharged and she was like, well, I'm not gonna stand for this Shit right on the ground. Wow. That would actually be pretty like honestly if I if the woman was like, I'm so mad If you don't make this right. I'm gonna poop in your store. I'd be like you can own my store for all I care Yeah, well, that's hammer amber herd took your advice there because she definitely shit on Johnny Yeah, I remember we talked about that. Yes the amber turd people are saying people have been uh calling her amber turd

I it's a good nickname. Just a good nickname. Well, just like the poopa trader. Yeah, and allegedly she should we don't know if it's her Shit, I gotta say I'm glad that they finally caught one Because this is a this is apparently a thing women are just shitting all over the place. Oh, I said this I said I think when it comes to shitting on the floor Women take that they hold the belt like they take that that category. I'm starting to in my head Begin to realize that women are just Like grosser than men in terms of like pooping in the world like a man will just shit his pants and just walk with it Like women are just like no, no, no this needs I need to get rid of you know why they care more about their pants

I don't I have no attachment to my pants. Yeah, if I shit in them, I'm throwing them out. I'm not gonna wash it Yeah, I know joey you once threw out your fucking all of your silverware because you left it in the dishwasher for a weekend Instead of guess what it was literally where it needed to be to get cleaned again and you took it and threw it out I have a thing about like mold and like bacteria. I just think yeah, and manual labor. Yeah, well, no Maybe um, but no, I I have to I have to throw that stuff out. Yeah, I mean whatever I'll never get over that but we'll never get into an agreement on that but this I'm glad they finally they finally caught her Yeah, yeah, I think that the women need to realize that they are the shitters Have you ever been in a store piss men piss every men piss everywhere and they definitely piss more per capita than women shit

All right, so here's so here's the breakdown Men piss more. Yeah. Yeah, because it it hangs So gravity pulls it out naturally. Well, we're spoiled brats We think that like just because we can we can aim this that we could just put it anywhere. It's okay. I could pee right here Yes, exactly exactly women. It's a whole thing. You got to you got to be flexible at the hips You got to get down there and like in a catcher's position You know piss behind a fucking a dumpster at a club. Yes, exactly. Yes. Um, I can say I believe the women piss stronger Like men piss longer and more but women pee streams are like hard, dude

I remember in high school would you classify it as a stream or just kind of like an Like a like like imagine like the like the levy breaks and just like everything is coming through Yeah, you know where men it's more like a guided like Suez canal You know like the water comes through and like it's like I know what I'm doing like this is where it goes Right, remember when I was in high school got a party and there were girls like pissing in like the back alleyway or something like that I remember I heard them peeing once and I was like that sounded like a pressure washer Really, they could have taken the grout off of the tiles. You know what I'm saying like a drunk girl pisses like a maniac Well, remember that that story about the the woman at the concert who pissed on that guy's face the performer. Yes

Yeah, that was like that honestly that was the first time that I was like, yo I never really realized how much a woman could hold in her Well, yeah, but women have that was an insane amount of piss women have a lot to carry And piss is one of them bigger bladders bigger bladders Uh, you know, we can we can go on and on. Yeah, but apparently smaller butts apparently Smaller buttholes. I can't confirm. I really can't I don't know if that's true. Never mind They can't hold shit as well as they can't piss

Clearly not. Well, actually, I think they're making just like a like a decision to be like I'm not going to risk throwing out these pants. So I'm just going to a shit in aisle three See, I would be the type of person that like I would make it very clear Like I'd be like, can I use your bathroom and the people are like, no, I'll be like This is like an emergency. I'm not asking For my benefit. I'm asking for yours. Right. And then I would, you know I've done that before in the past where I've had to use the bathroom so bad

I've been like, can I use the bathroom? They're like, no, sorry. And I'm like This isn't a negotiation. Yeah, no, you know, I'll hold this place hostage That's how I felt like call call the fucking nypd. I'll go to jail for this. Yeah. Yeah When I have to shit, I have cold sweats like I don't look good I don't think I've ever had cold sweats, bro. I've had them. That sounds awful. Dude, it's not good because it's just panic It's pure anxiety and it has nothing to do with the poop. It's more so me realizing like it's over And it's it's going to end terribly if you don't You know, and and every single time I go into a store and ask someone kind of use your bathroom

It's a Hilmary because they go, we don't have a bathroom and I go I know you have a bathroom because you have to how do you exist without one? Yeah, how would you wash your hands? Yeah, no if I shit on your hands right now, what would you do? You would have to go to your bathroom I wonder like if you can get in legal trouble for that like if you have a bathroom And you don't allow it access to someone that has an emergency and they have an oopsie Because of it like who's like are they gonna get in trouble or is it like bro? I asked them kindly and they didn't let me So like I physically couldn't

Figure it out. I don't know man. Uh, would you rather throw up or shit your pants? Throw up Way more without a doubt dude. Yeah, that's the worst feeling in the world. I think I've To my knowledge. I haven't shipped my pants since I was like four You what was the to my knowledge thing? Unless I was I'm just saying like as far as I know pants and don't look at them. You're like, I'll just No, I think I would remember something like that. Trust me. That would be traumatizing to the point that I would remember it Yeah, but you like

Don't What are you gonna say? You shit your pants all the time. Don't you? No, you don't you don't you don't no I haven't shipped my pants since that day where you from divinos. Yeah, or you kicked it I did I had to throw out my sneakers too because they had this really cool design Where it looked like uh, like they were not that they were porous, but like It looked like circles, but then there was like a silver thing but it was like a circle like an indent and

shit got in that And I was like I can't I tried to clean it out But it's like you're pushing it further into these circles and I was like these are garbage. It's garbage now Yeah, so I was playing basketballs basketballs. I was playing basketball in like fucking Shouldn't let me know I would have gave you my tipperlin sneakers. That would have helped That's probably what I was playing in. I remember when I grow when I was growing up. I had one pair of shoes I had dress shoes that I would wear for like parties and stuff like we would go to a wedding or whatever and then I had sneakers

One pair of sneakers. Yeah, I didn't and it yeah, I'm always the same way I didn't have many shoes like these people that I knew in like middle school that were like sneaker heads I was like what seven pairs of shoes. I literally had one. Yeah, I had one I wore the same shoes to school every single day the same shoes that would play basketball I'll tell you this the only time it changed when I started working and I was able to like I bought um My dad bought me a pair of timberlands So I had two pairs of shoes and then I started working at elmjack and I bought myself two three pairs of shoes But this is back when a pair of shoes since you I bought ice creams ice creams

That's what but that was like later on that was like toward like the end of high school Or no, that was like 2007. That was the beginning of high school. I had orange Fucking I had orange gray and yellow ice creams. I remember that I had uh, I had the the orange eights Which are now like $450. I think I remember you having those too. I bought them for like 120 bucks I had like um, and I still actually have them and still wear them because they still fit Um, brown like brown nikes the ones they threw up at on Threw up on on it at imps. Ah, yes, still have those and then I had like

Air maxes, but again, I bought those because I was working and I was also using my money to buy Fucking, you know, like elmo graphic tees So, you know stupid shit and fittings elmo graphic tees and rockos pizza That's two dollars for a slice pepperoni slice and a soda Slice is like four bucks now crazy ridiculous inflation made the world Um, the only other pair of Jordans I ever had were the Jordan 14s The they were white and they had like the red sort of trim

Uh And my dad bought them for me because they were basketball shoes And he was the coach of my travel basketball team at the time. That's right. I remember that and I didn't wear them to a game After he bought them for me because I was like brown but I needs to be fresh Yeah, not you wanted to be ph fresh. Yeah, not, you know playing basketball in them No, I didn't want to crease them. Well, so I I didn't wear them and he's like, where's your shoes? I bought I spent 150 dollars on those shoes. Where are they? I was like, oh, I don't want to mess them up And he's like that must have been like you telling your dad like you hated your grandmother or something

No, he was just like you're gonna wear them to play basketball or I'm going to take them and cut them in half Wow. Yeah, my the only pair of Jordans I ever owned um Those shoes are not comfortable to play basketball them orange the orange eights as I said I wore them the first day I wore them. I remember the outfit and everything I had Gray jeans those shoes and I had a black f-train shirt. You remember those shirts f-train. It was the f-train Oh, it was the orange logo with the big f and it said from I think it was like from like Brooklyn to Queens or something like that

Right, and I wore it and I was sitting with my shoes out like a dumb idiot man spreading in math class and my math teacher His giant ass german dude Was like he like walked by and I didn't like one of these where I pulled my feet in And he was like, what was that? I was like, oh, I got these new shoes I don't want anyone to step on them and he's like, let me see and I put him out and he fucking boom Yeah, dude any a big black mark right across the fucking shoe. It was ruined Why would he do that because he was a like I'm not gonna speak bad about him because he was actually a really good guy But like he was like a shit starter. He was just like, oh, you want you don't want anyone stepping on those shoes

Let me see them. I'm going to do it Bro, that really would have pissed me off. I couldn't have done anything dude. He was like 6 6 6 Oh Hahaha He was 6 6 I mean 6 6 like tall He was 9 1 1 I don't know why

6 6 6 Did I ever tell you about the story? I this is just a really brief one to end on because I know we're trying to wrap up Yeah, I was a couple years ago. I was uh, I had to like call like a mechanic shop to like get my car worked on And the guy picked up he's like, yeah, what's up, babe? Because I talked and I was like, yeah, I gotta bring my car and he's like, all right What time you think you're gonna bring your car and I was like, uh, I don't know what time's a good time He goes, well, what time is it now and I look at my phone and I go, uh, oh great 9 11 and I was like It's 9 11 and Becca looked at we started dying laughing

And he was like, okay, like he didn't it didn't even fucking work. It didn't even register for him And I saw actually I saw a tiktok the other day and I was fucking dying It was like this kid It's like this like attractive dude at the gym He's got his headphones on and like the caption that's like written on the thing says like Is there anything worse than like when your headphones die mid-set at the gym? And it's like this music playing and he's like, you know, whatever and he's like, oh man, what the hell? And then it cuts to this woman in her bed and she's like

September 11 2001 Good luck with your headphones though. Yeah, you always die There was a there was an episode of family guy where I think uh Lois is like running for mayor or something like that and her whole speech like she's given like a legitimate speech about like, you know, like Uh, how to address drugs and like children, you know poverty and blah blah blah no one's like reacting and she says 9 11 and they start cheering and she goes 9 11 and they start cheering again and then she goes 9 and the crowd goes. She goes 11 and the place fucking around

It's You know Company But yeah, Frank, where can they find you bet? You find me dog sucking season going to town on a couple of fucking Nathan's Hebrew national yeah ballpark Frank's Thumans Foot long For yeah

Bro, you think stop and shop's got footies. I don't I don't know but either way I'm gonna be I'm I'm gonna be having a good old summer because a footy summer is no longer the name of this season I'll suck a foot. It's dog sucking country. This is this is dog sucking season This is dog sucking country too F alvaro is 80 85 on twitter the frank alvaro is on instagram And then go check out the patreon as I said earlier patreon.com slash the basement yard We're breaking records. We want to keep breaking records. We love you guys. Thank you for all the support But tell your friends. It's also a nice gift to give for dog sucking season. It is dog sucking season This is dog sucking country and if you don't like it

Fucking figure it out and suck some dogs guys Go follow show at the basement yard on tiktok and instagram and that is all see you guys next time