The Basement Yard - #354 - The Politicians Have Lost Their Minds

Episode Date: July 11, 2022

Joe and Frank discuss the wild actions and thoughts some politicians have! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. How's everyone doing? Welcome back to dog talk. That's what this is, baby Welcome back to dog talk. This isn't the basement yard anymore. This is dog. This is dog talk You're going wrong. You're wrong that dog. Are you fucking insane? You got it. You got it. Welcome back to the basement yard aka dog talk aka. I got some k-word right here k-word Yeah, gotta be careful some ketamine right here. I Do you do this? Do you do this or do you go backwards? I think I go like this I go window washer you kept it you keep it in you keep it in the the confines. It's a lot of squirt. It is squirt. It's all right That was a stupid that was stupid. I want to see a bite it at bitch

Yeah, hold on got some ketchup on this dog. I don't have anything cool. Oh you go circles circle and hurt nobody No, what are you gonna do that one do that one? Well, I'm gonna start with this one first I'm not quite sure if I'm ready to dog that down. Oh, okay Dink it and clink it Okay, first can I make a comment? Actually, I make a comment if you take first bite curved curved dogs. Wow, that one will really please Looks like me Bon appetit

That's a dog nothing just snapped at me a snap tassie right hit me Are you like an end-biter? Do you will ends ends and then work inward or you just go one way? No, I go ends obviously Smart way to do it Welcome back. Yo, why is that spicy? spicy

Yeah What'd you do Frankie, what the fuck did you do? Did you oh my god, you put a fucking Why is it spicy? What is that? Is that a pepper? What kind of pepper is that? I thought I was going crazy How long did you have that in your back pocket that you're gonna? Yo, these are hot What kind of peppers are those?

Thanks, we're putting a chili pepper a red hot chili pepper Yeah, that's a good song. Oh man. Yeah, you really got me with the fucking thing. Let's go. Yo, honestly I did not expect that at all. I was wondering why it was like so hard to bite into did you bite? Yeah, you took a piece of the pepper. Yes. Yeah, dude. I ate like most of the pepper Damn, I thought it was gonna be hotter than it was. Maybe the ketchup's helping you out a little bit Yeah, so for those of you guys who are just watching pranked him one got him to he's still wearing that trucker hat three I put that's why I was like, oh you got to cut us a little slit in it Memory oh, yeah, I was talking about that and I stuffed a chili pepper in it, but I guess they're not that hot

I mean there it was hot enough for me to realize I should have rubbed it down with a habanero But they only sold it. They didn't sell them singular. They sold them in like packs of 12. Hey, you shouldn't have done any of that Thank God you didn't You got me, but I did get you confirmed to have gotten you and now we're back for the people you had me Going how are you look a ginger ale? No, I'm American way to wash down a dog There's better ways. I know obviously how you doing with like, you know a Bud Light or some go-to-all fashion racism Yes, or you know limiting people's free will and rights and choices over themselves in their own bodies, you know specifically not men

Yeah, anyway We're doing this because this episode for our patreon members Which if you're not a patreon member go to patreon.com slash the basement yard they get this on July 4th Which in America is like, you know, this is like our Christmas of the summer I guess so, but I don't get a gift You get different dog. It's a fact. No Can I say something go ahead? I hate these fucking buns the ones where they cut like this way. Oh, I don't like that. I Don't like buns that are regular buns pretending to be hot dog buns

I want to I want to I want like the real thing. I want the real deal. I hate when it's like you cut through the brown You know what I mean? Careful I'm saying you look you only cut through the white Get rid of the white. No, no, no or the brown. I'm with you ma'am. No, but you know what I'm saying More like you got a fucking it's like you're cutting the top of the bun. It's so stupid. Yes I don't I don't like it on its side cut of this one. Yeah, that's just ergonomics 101. I have to say it's pre 10 a.m. And we're having hot dogs. It's channel two. Oh Our first bite our first bite came at pre 10 a.m. Yeah, but these are pretty good dogs

Yeah, I'm talking it. You're suffering. I'm sucking it. Oh, I thought you said suffering. I was gonna say you want the other one No, okay. Well, how you doing? Welcome back. I'm doing good. Hey, how's it going for you? We didn't plan on matching today, but you know it just happens. Well, mine's a regular cut and yours is a V Yeah, what color shorts are you wearing? Gray me too? Holy shit, what are we doing? Should I put my hat backwards? Yeah, hold on Well, that was the weirdest way to take off a hat I've ever seen in my entire life new hat. What is that? New hat. I don't want a gray underbrim. I don't want to get ketchup on it I

Don't have a chain you didn't get yourself a Santa got a studio chain. I did but I don't have it. You don't wear it, dude This is my religion All right, look at us twins Okay Anyway What are you talking about today? We got some things on the docket today Obviously, we're celebrating dog second season. I mean, yeah, it's dog second season. I'm coming over tomorrow You are coming over tomorrow. Yes. All right. I want to let you know. First of all, what time you think you're coming?

I don't know like noon. Okay, just letting you know it's gonna be a big day of drinking it might be raining So we might be indoor drinking wait really? That's the rain. Yeah, I Wasn't saying really to the drink. Oh, I was saying really to the rain. Oh, I thought man. Oh, no, here he goes. Oh, it's raining I'm not gonna That was so disgusting Frank it spilled out I will say this I've never seen a dog squirt and that dog squirted on you. It's a squirty dog It is a squirty dog. But we got some stuff. There's a lot of stuff going on right now in the yeah political atmosphere

Oh my god. First of all, we got like Rudy G All right, Peter my dog who Rudy G. Who's that Rudy Giuliani? Oh, no, well, yeah He was viciously beaten. He was in the most New York way possible. Yeah, you know, so if you guys haven't seen the story Apparently he was campaigning for I think his son, which by the way, you know this Rudy Giuliani married his cousin cool with it Sup Rudy Giuliani married his cousin. Yeah, one cousin. I don't I don't know if it's owner doing Okay, but if you know that your cousin they're off limits. Yeah, you can't be married cousins. You know, that's just that's too too much Yeah, you have kids with them. They're gonna come out looking like sloth from the goonies

You're going a little too far with that. You don't think so well I think that there's a chance, but there's also chance that they're cool, right? Why is that? Why is it like in bread kids come out with like eyes that go that way? I Don't know if that's true. Is it true? It's gotta be now. Oh, I mean, yeah I mean you said it. I said it. It's on the internet forever. I'm not gonna look it up Don't I mean, do we know anyone that's in bread? I Mean there's a couple people that I have a hunch that maybe really there was a night where things got weird It's just like a little weird between people sharing the same, you know familial lineage

Yeah But yeah, he was campaigning at a shop right in Staten Island Because that's where you campaign you ever heard of a more racist place in America a shop, right? Do you think that's the most racist? supermarket Stopping shops pretty racist too. Is it I would say so not trade fair because trade fair is for the people and it's also fair Whoa, whoa It is fair Whole Foods that sucks Whole Foods, but Whole Foods is like the person that just moved into Brooklyn

Yeah, hopefuls isn't racist, but it's annoying. Yes. They're the ones that have you know They got the tattoo of you know, the coexist bumper sticker as a tramp stamp. Yeah, I'm not really fucking with the whole foot I've actually I've only shopped there like thrice I've gotten there like hot foods from there. They're like groceries are fucking expensive It was like oh you want a single apple? It's nine dollars a pound. Yeah, why? But they're like hot food Things where you can get like roasted cauliflower and mac and cheese and fucking chicken that's it as good as shit You could get a lot of stuff there. That's like kind of cool though

You can you ask some some flower Loop and you're like the fuck. Yeah, this is organic loop. They do farm. They do have weird things there It's kind of weird and but you never know you never knew you needed it. That's a thing Exactly, you know, how did you not know that you needed a beeswax? dildo, right, you know But yeah, Rudy Giuliani He said that he was like attacked in a fucking Supermarket and like some dudes that call them like a piece of shit or something scumbag scumbag such a New York thing

Scumbag's a good one. It's a really good one I heard someone recently called someone a skunk and I almost pissed my pants skunk You fucking skunk. That's a good one, right? Where was this on the street? I think you should leave. Oh in the show and Before before we're gonna get into the context of the video He spoke about this thing as if he was shot with a fucking gun Yeah, his exact words is he felt like he was hit by a bullet in the back and The woman that was like rubbing his back. He's like she almost fell over too. That's how hard the pressure was

Did he actually say that? Yeah This guy not think that like and then he goes and then during and then during a Like a campaign rally or something He starts talking about The most the thing that kills old people the most is falling over and this guy hit me so hard. I almost fell over I could have died Bro, I'm expecting this when I when I heard about this. I'm like y'all someone finally fucking gave it to him You know, I don't advocate violence, but like you just did but okay

This was just like a cheer not like a hit, right, you know, this was like a you know, hurrah, right? Not like a yee-haw pow gotcha and He was really like talking it up. So I'm thinking like damn like what part of sat down there was Yankee Staten Island You know the Shalon Island. They got some. Yeah, you know, they got some areas that could be a little rough This guy was tapped on the back. Yeah Like nothing like literally nothing short of a tap show literally just like a Like it's not even a violent one. So the video came out. I looked friendly if you didn't tell me that I would see that video And I would go he probably said like a Rudy keep it up. Like that's literally what it was

Yeah, apparently he walked by hit him on the like tapped him on the back and said yo scumbag and like first of all Very New York. Yeah, very New York. All he had to say was like my guy. Yeah, you're bugging you know But not a good look for us New Yorkers and here's here's why He's known as new America's mayor 9-11 happened. He was the mayor at the time and a lot of people were really You know, they praised his kind of response to everything So he was the representation in New York to people pre, you know side-talk NYC, you know what I'm saying? Yeah So if he's going out there and he's like yo like I almost got killed from this guy and the video comes out

I'm getting a pat on the back. We don't look tough doesn't look tough man. Yeah, he ruined it for us I I think that's the single most damaging thing to New York that has happened in a long time since You think since like what 2000 maybe yeah about that. Yeah Round there. No, like anything damaging 2002. Okay. I'm saying for like fucking of course 9-11 piece of shit I see what you're trying to do I'm saying like for us for our egos. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah Since the Yankees got swept or reverse swept, I guess they lost four straight games in ALCS 2004. Mm-hmm

This was bad. All right. Did you think like when you saw the video? I was astounded I literally when I saw the headline I was like damn someone fucking how are they able to beat the shit out of Rudy Giuliani? Also old dude. Yeah. Yeah, like don't hit like relax You wouldn't beat up an old man For now for no reason. Oh, if they had a lot of money on there, there are some people that you could argue have a reason To hit an old man to hit Rudy Giuliani. Oh, yeah, but I don't know not like an old piece of shit You see what he's doing, right? He's trying to keep him in his good graces Just in case when you run for the gubernatorial race in New York and you want to be New York state governor

You think I want to hold office. I think you do. I know I don't good Well that trucker have all completely just not allow you to have it gonna keep going aren't you? Yeah But the video literally looked like you know He was a second grader and he struck out of the softball game the coach was like a it's okay to adjunia Like literally that's all hard the guy hit him and then also the woman's reaction was fucking weird, too Yeah, well, they're they're trying to see well. Oh, like immediately like like you know saying like I'm like what the fuck is this? It seems like a plan. Yeah, it It looked like it was more of you know, like one of those like I've given

Countless amount of people that tap on the back when you first get to a party and you see them and they don't see you And you give him the bang on the back. They turn and you're like, yeah, yeah one of those But he just got called a scumbag, right? That you can recall scumbag being like in the New York Not people scumbag it up think so. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah dad got mad at me for scumbag in it up I remember that my dad got mad at you called Barry bonds a scumbag in Joey's house and I got I

Called Barry bonds a scumbag scumbag. I forget about that. You see you don't think you should be in the whole thing No, I think you should yeah, I think but you know asterisk being mean mean mean mean mean mean mean yeah But Rudy's had a he's had a rough go of it the last year and change a rough mouth I feel like something about his teeth it makes it looks like corn or something I don't know something about his teeth. They look soft Yeah, well, they're just like small like little pieces of gum or something they look like children's teeth in an adult's mouth That's what it you know what it looks like You know when you see like dead animals and they stuff them and they put teeth in them and you're like that's not there

That's not shouldn't be that's what it feels like with really Giuliani like he's a taxidermied like armadillo. I don't know armadillo It's pretty generous. He's not that tough. I would say he's a taxidermied baby hippo. He's very pink You just picked a Hippo over an armadillo. I said baby. Yeah, but that would fuck up an armadillo bro But a armadillo's got fucking iron like plated skin. Wait, what is an arm? Oh wait? No Roll up into a ball and it's like shit. It's an shrew and sans slash right. I'm thinking of porcupines. Yeah, well, those are pretty tough, too You're just pointy dude. You're giving this guy a lot of credit Joe I picked an animal that I thought of art of arc. Is that better? I don't even know what they do

Do you even know what one looks like? I've seen the show Arthur He's an art of arc right busy. Yeah, Arthur the art of arc. I didn't know that. What do you think he was a bear? Is it? What animal is Arthur oh No, he's an art for I've never how the fuck am I supposed to know fucking cuz that's what it is Bro, I was cool. I didn't watch Arthur. What was his brother's name like Oslo? Yeah No, what's his brother's name? Oh sister's name was D. W. D. Dubs

And his brother was B. Dubs Buffalo Wildling. That's what it is Also, I've never you know a Buffalo Wildling before it's good, but to way too much salt Salt dude a jar of sauce like yeah, you told me that size is like a thousand times your daily intake of salt Arthur show cast Mm-hmm. He only has a sister, right? Buster. It's kind of a fire name Francine. That's awful Blinky Barnes, okay, I Don't know but sounds like one of the names your mom would have given you your siblings Blinky. Yeah, Sonny Bunny Yeah, Sonny Bunny Blinky Borms Buster Tuster. Yeah Buster Tuster. I don't know

Also, also keeping it, you know politicians who are getting beat up. There was also a politician who beat up So Nancy Pelosi Nancy Pelosi got beat up. No, no, no, she's the talker of the house Spear. Yeah. Yes. Thank you. But she Also argued that she looks a little more dead than Biden even you know like because I She's very close this video. I'm like, I I'm not sure what she's made out of but it's not skin Yeah, no, no, no, she definitely she looks very Tight, you know, it just looks like she's about to rip

You know who she looks like she looks like the zombie they bring back and hocus pocus won't the sored mouth Mm-hmm, you know, I'm talking about they knock his head off a couple times So so in this video some some woman was being sworn in For something guys, I don't know what you and we guess what we don't care Well, also, she was just there and then She had her family there and they were taking a picture sweet and Nancy Pelosi's there and she's standing next to this woman's daughter and Her son is on the other side of the daughter. Okay. How old ballpark? the girls like

Seven six, okay, something like that. Okay. How old is my six miles of seven? So she's probably six seven around there. All right standing next to maybe younger, honestly But standing next to Nancy Pelosi and they're taking a picture then all of a sudden this bitch just goes She gives her a little how you doing She tells she gives her that she nudges her she gives her the David Cleveland elbow. She give her oh My god, but I'll show you you and you tell me do you think this is a is a shove job? Because that's an ad her excuse. Yeah, that's a that's a diaper ad right there Look at that bang

so, whoa Look at it. So it's a watch watch watch watch watch. Wow. See you move. That's a shove That's a shove. This is the thing. That's that's a foul. That's a foul That is definitely a hundred percent a foul shots out the line for this little girl LeBron's going down if he gets one of those Oh, yeah, that's a big time flop. I'm telling you people think that skinny people aren't dangerous. That's not true They have sharp Bones, okay, some bony people. Yeah, so like that might not to like the normal person That might not look as if it's really dangerous or or damaging or it would be painful

But that probably felt like a fucking like 8,000 needles hitting that little girl Yeah, dude, and also just like giving a little shove also the girl gangsters kind of just like Right back to our spot. She looks like she is of some sort of Hispanic Latinx descent Yeah, so probably not the first time she's been shoved by a white person Definitely not the first time by an old white person So I was looking at tweets and someone said that Nancy Pelosi hates children and can't stand to be next to Spanish people I don't like that. I mean, you know, if it's a If the shoe fits I guess no her argument

She was like I was trying to make sure that she was gonna still be in frame So I was like by kicking her out of it. I don't know about that Nance. Yeah, listen Oh, Nance, you gotta take take the L why you still can you know say? Oh my god I I didn't know who was next to me. I try to make some space. Yeah, and like also Cuz right before that she was like do you have any other family members that you want in the picture? That's why you see her. She's going like this I guess calling over someone else and I feel like she was like all right get this little bitch out of here get these new People in Wow, you think that's what I think you think in her head. She was saying that I think that she was saying exactly that

I mean, you know, I Would just I wish this is my thing is I wish that any people not necessarily just politicians But like if they had that if she had that thought I wish she would just verbalize it So we would all know you know what I mean instead of just trying to be like, I'm so sorry. It was a mistake I'm like, no, I wanted this little Spanish girl out of my goddamn picture Right, I can't it's bad for us a bad PR move to be that close to someone of non-white descent, right exactly. Yes They've had a rough year and also who? Giuliani and Pelosi well the whites always have it rough. It's really tough to be a white dude

You have no idea. I trust me. I wish I could No, but remember Giuliani had the thing where his fucking hair was leaking down his face Yeah, that's just old people shit though. And then oh, this is not this year. It was last year the borat thing Yeah, dude, you remember that. What was happening that he was trying to fuck a young girl or something So for those of you guys that hadn't seen the second borat There's a there's a younger girl in the show that plays borat's daughter and she like as like a Joke gets like all dolled up, you know and kind of you know does herself and you know makeup and you know ba-ba-ba and

goes to interview him and Like asks if they can go in the other room and ba-ba-ba like because like the lighting doesn't work or something like that and it appears To some people that he was starting to dump dump the the Julie Gotti Yeah, you know what I mean? I didn't I thought it just looked like he was Just fixing his shirt. I thought he was trying. I thought he was gonna try and get sucked. You thought so yeah I think so really it felt like a like a that kind of environment Is that a move you do when you're getting ready to get the?

Fix my shirt well I'm saying like is that the laying back and is that the move you go to when you're getting ready to get You're so sucked no I like to be very sure that it's gonna happen because I would never like I would never presume that I'm gonna get sucked That's a that's a good thing to do. Yeah, I just you know It's too much because if I go if you go for that, that's like heavy bro Are you like if you're wearing like sweats? Yeah, are you pants all the way down at your ankles and your bare ass is out? It's not much time how much time if this is like, you know, let's like it like a like you know

We're gonna get the fuck out. No, no, no, you have time. There's nothing don't know nothing that you need to get to but no zags Maybe maybe also if there's an opportunity possibly first hanged Yeah, you're standing bare bare butt bare balls out in the wind. I Don't know shirt on Or do you probably just like wallets going on are you one of those? Oh, are you one of these Frankie? No, we went over this. I can't do that. I think you're one of these. I can't do it try it now I can't try now. This is where my arms take your shirts off to shirts. How many shirts you think I got on right now? Just one. Yeah, take your shirt off. I can't yeah

It's been a tough year for Rudy Giuliani and I feel for him honestly honestly the thing about the the Pelosi thing That bothered me the most is that if you're watching the video and she's smiling for the picture her smile is A demonic it just looks like she shit her pants in the supermarket and she's trying to hide it from her mom Yeah, well, you know, we've all been there so we know what that looks like Yeah, I've shit my pants pretty much everywhere. Yeah when I was younger used to fucking use a lot of rip Just let it drop and I remember this too, dude. Yeah, and that's that's that's I've shit at school Even as an adult I've shit at MSG You know what I mean? I'm really all over the place not my pants. Oh, I was gonna say I have shit my pants at school

I have shit my pants at the supermarket one time my mom was broke my arm at a supermarket But it was actually my fault because you shit your pants. No, I had nothing to do is shit This is a different. Oh, just your mom. We were at BJ's or Costco one of those places Yeah, and we were my mom was like had the cart. She's like going by this like pillar And it was near a wall and I just shoved my arm in it and she kept going and my arm was like This and I started screaming why what why were you shoving your arm in I'm a fucking idiot little child I forgot about that one So I shoved my arm in this thing and then I just start I just start screaming and people are like

Now people are looking at my mom. Hmm going like because then she grabbed me by my own No, but to make sure I was okay, but now looks like this bitch was fucking trying to rip it out Yeah, so everyone's like hey now that they were saying hey But they were like the fall like there was like a murmur for sure and then she was kind of tight She was kind of like bro First of all what the fuck you doing second of all doing this in public now. Everyone thinks I beat you I had issues like that with my mom My mom was not the type to be like if I got hurt she'd be like oh my god come here

Come here hug me hold me like tell me what's wrong. She'd be like what the fuck. Yeah, you know like I'd be like my what happens Yeah, exactly like well fuck come on. Yeah, you know like I hurt her by hurting myself But so true they get so hurt did I ever tell you the story of when my grandmother had that life alert thing I Might have told the story on here. Is that the one when you fall down? Yeah, press the button So my grandmother used to live with us years ago before the ultimate. Yeah, the ultimate Before the ultimate dirt nap. Yeah, and When she lived with us she would fall often. Whoa that I didn't know. Yeah. Oh, you didn't know that I've never seen Yeah, yeah, go down. Oh, yeah, I would go down frequently

There were times I'd be woken up at 3 a.m. Cuz you rolled and fell out of bed. Whoa That's a bit fall dude fire would come and pick her up and take her fire department. Yeah multiple times. Oh, yeah, it was fucked up It's metal though fucking. Yeah one time your grandma actually, you know what? Oh No, that was my grandma My grandma fell like a month Like my grandma fell down and a month later I told my job that I had to leave early because my grandma fell you piece of shit

I was like, I don't want I don't want to be here. It's alright. I I held on to that grandma falling. I was like, I'm gonna fucking use Yeah, I that's alright. I told the story. I've used to my grandfather dying three years later Yeah, use a month of no homework. I mean, hey man, I was processing. Yeah, but She had like the life alert So it was like a necklace and there was a fucking button on it And it was just a white thing with a button and in the living room. There was like a call box So like when you would press the button Authorities would call the call box to check in on you the idea is like if you fall you can't get to the phone

You can't get to the call box you press that and scream help or something So oh they could listen they can yes, so they my grandmother would often clean the button Upstairs in the bathroom So I was like playing video games or something in the living room and and I hear Bro, I hear the call box going off like Like like it sounds like they were in fucking root. They're like Gloria. Are you okay? We're on our way Tell us and I'm like fuck so she's upstairs. I'm like, I'm like, yeah I did you press the button and she's like I'm cleaning it

So I'm yelling to the call box like she's fine. She's fucking fine And I'm like tell them you're fine and you can hear like my grandmother in the distance like I'm okay I felt bad. It sounded like you were just beating the shit out of the dog shit out of this poor woman Tell them you tell them basically and then they were just like, okay, and then they fucking hung up. Wow They took your word for it. They're very trusting. This is definitely not a fucking advertising for them Yeah, that's not a good product. We should maybe get Rudy Giuliani one of those life alerts probably yeah Well, he would be pressing that button all day. Anyone who says hi to me as it go on a road. Yeah, I can light it up Do we know the the

We know the the race of the person that called Giuliani a scumbag I Mean scumbags a white one. That's a white one. I mean that I think that I Don't know. Okay, you don't want to look at you don't want to start in a whole other You know open up a can of worms just based off of scumbag the use of scumbag. I feel like that's like white That is you're not right all frogs and toads, baby Oh my god, you're not wrong all scumbag all scumbag users are white, but not all whites are scumbag users Okay, it fits. Yeah, I guess so think one of you had a person of color besides me use the term scumbag I Haven't I'd be very confused by that. Well, there you go

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So you could start and end your work week this hellhole of life that we live in with the basement yard I mean, you know, is there anything ever better? I don't know check it out patreon.com slash the basement yard Hellhole Hellhole that's what I said the hellhole of a week. Oh, yeah, most weeks are hellholes Um, I guess that bird do you think we should go to a four-day work week? Person that doesn't work in a normal work week Yeah, cool. All right good. I just wanted to make sure you were on the right side of history No, I do I do and also I think that it's been

Tested in like Sweden or something and it like works. Yeah, and there's no difference between Sweden and the u.s. Yeah, there's a couple taller blondes I would say our blondes are short Are they That's just the thing I said. I feel like any girl that I know that's like around six foot is brunette I don't know many women that are around six feet. You don't know enough volleyball players. I guess so Uh Um or basketball players too. I don't yeah, I guess I don't

I feel like girl basketball players love to tape tape their ankles for some reason They do their big ankle tapers like they always got like a thing They've been a brace like a stoop like a thing. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, they their ankles have been broken before They don't want to get put through it. I don't understand breaking ankles. Oh, you mean like yeah, like, you know Well, do you think it'd be a good patreon episode for people to watch me play basketball for an hour straight? Should we just get a two on two going with uh Someone that we could beat what people we could beat. Oh, yeah ant and danny From the piggyboys go check them out. Oh, we'll play them two on two not danny lobe. Danny lobe's probably got a ratty

He's he's bigger in the paint. He's in the paint. I'm taller in the paint though No, you are you don't need to worry. You just throw it to me in the paint and I'll throw us a right back out to you Guy knows how to use his body. I know that man um Let's talk about a love story Modern love found a modern love story and we love love on this show. Don't we love it? I I am a fan of love Do you love it? I would say I love love. Well, we love I love to love love Same um and this one is a beautiful story. It says I married my

Not soulmate, but my ex's dad Um, it says everyone hates me, but it's the best sex I ever had Damn, that's bars right there. Hold on. Wait a second. I married my ex's dad. Everyone hates me, but it's the best sex I ever had First of all, she's dropping an album. That's what she's trying to do. Second of all, you need to see your ex. That's your step son now Bro, I didn't even think of that. That's crazy to be like, oh, yeah. Well, I'm gonna fucking marry your dad Ready ready guess what state they're from not florida go alabama No, Oklahoma. No, but we're getting close with the oh Ohio hello, that's up north

I know why so I would expect like if I see these people I go oh, hi. Oh, really? Yeah, I've never been so I guess I wouldn't know as well as you. Oh, I went to Ohio. I remember you drove Columbus Hello, um, but anyway an Ohio woman claims she alienated her peers after tying the knot with her ex boyfriend's father And despite him being 24 years her senior. She said she's having the best sex of her life And now you can see a picture of this man Dude hold on side note. Listen I love love that guy's not given anyone the best sex of their life. Sorry dude. I'm sure you're a nice person I mean, I don't know. He's he's marrying his fucking son's ex-girlfriend. That is exactly what I anticipated

This dude's laying down serious pipe. Apparently he's got a fucking hog on him I hope he has a hog that hair you better Yeah, you got long hair You got a mullet thick dude, and he's got a goat He's a goat goatee. Oh, I thought you meant like a pet goat. I was gonna say does that have something to do with sex? Oh, no, dude. No, what the fuck? No, I'm saying he's got a goatee. I don't know. No, I uh, that's weird That's the ultimate way of getting back at your ex though Yeah, I don't know that she's getting back, but she she just is she's getting back. All right

They had a riff and you know, she opened up to Him and then all of a sudden I think this is more a classic case of a man wanting to have sex with a woman 24 years is The two love birds started dating when she was 16 the legal age of consent consent. There it is. We found the problem That's the legal age of consent in Ohio 16 weird. I did not know that Yeah, uh weird and this is the thing Oh, here we go. Uh, there's a little thing that says he is the only person I have had sex with and he is the best Wait, whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. What?

What's going on out there? What? You look at the window like something's going on. No, I didn't This is the thing Yeah, you can't say it's the best sex of your life if it's the only sex of your life I mean you can because technically it is even if it's bad if we're going off technicalities We are going off technicalities. That's stupid. That's like me saying like yo, this is the best Fucking chili pepper I've ever had Technically it has to be the only chili pepper. You need to add some context to that. Yeah, I think that

I think We need to have this woman have sex with one other person so that we can get a oh are you Oh, no, no, I'm not offering yourself. No, no, no. Would you like to help her with that? I do not I do not want to even know. I know why you wouldn't because I can't lay it down like this, man I have to say you'd be a little upset that you can't she'd be like like dean here. Is that his name dean? Yeah, that sounds right. Yeah I never expected to fall in up. Oh, no, paul No, also, right. Oh, no Wait dean paul

Paula dean. Oh her name is sydney dean He's not dean. He's paul paul dean No, wait, what are you saying? You're confusing me. I'm gonna confuse myself. Um, I never expected to fall in love with paul And we met in a non-traditional way Well, non-traditional. I feel like that refers to like you know You met at like on like match.com or something. Yeah, well, I mean not like your your son's dad You understand what I'm saying. I almost knocked that over. You did

my bad um I would say online is not as Non-traditional, you know non-traditional would be like I was fucking Throwing up went to an ER and the nurse, you know wanted to fucking slip her finger in me She did have one friend that wasn't okay with Mine and paul's relationship. This friend would never want me to come hang out or even talk to me much at all if he was around Damn, so she's giving up friends for this fucking penis. That must be

Wild dude, you know what's crazy put it like this If you were dating a six-year-old, that's the age difference Wow Wait, let's go the other way Well, yeah, but If I was dating a 54 year old, but 54 and 30 is not as weird as 40 and 16 Yeah, yes, that's the issue there. You are right. Is there a 54 year old?

She's in sarandon older than 54. Yeah. Yeah. I got it. No, I know but I'm saying 54 You could still be a rocket ship. Isn't like jaylo 54 She's up there. She's gonna be like jennifer aniston. She Old beautiful women jennifer aniston age. Holy shit. She is 53 There you go. Wow, you got a chance joe I mean, I don't know that I no I don't you don't have a chance It's just that this would be the equivalent obviously, but but it would be okay if you were 30 I'll say this they look happy. They look happy. They do look happy and all the power to them jokes aside

I hope they are happy it is weird because if you are starting to date a 16 year old You knew them before they were 16 and there's something weird about that It looks like they got married in a park Okay, yeah next to a fountain Actually, that's not a fountain. I believe that's a bridge. Okay And there's some water around Well, there's gotta be you can't have bridges without water Yeah, I don't know. It's a prerequisite. You know, are there any of your ex's dads that you would marry?

I really like my current father-in-law. He's a cool dude. You'd marry him. I'd marry him if I were gay Okay, um trying to think of other ex's dad. Oh, actually one of my exes had a hot dad. Still hot. Yeah, really? Yeah I don't remember who You're talking about I'm trying to think of exes that I've had and their dads Most of them suck just like their daughter So guess what you ain't you ain't the lucky one here, bitch Oh my god, um Most of them suck like like their daughter. Um, but yeah, so any of any of your

ex's moms that you would marry No, oh, yeah a same one with the hot dad. It's just hot parents. Yeah, dude trying to figure out who this could be Yeah, it wasn't a very long thing. All right. I'll you'll tell me afterward. Yeah, sure. Yeah, I hot parents though Definitely and hotter mom than the dad Me and Becca's mom flirted a little bit. Oh Yeah, we flirted a little bit every now and then I'm like, man that goes against Jesus and stuff valves What are we talking about? We didn't give vows. It was just done by the priest. He or the the guy who was just like He was just like, yo, you too good and we're like, yeah

So, yo, you guys you guys sick. So like in the devastating situation that beck and I didn't work out I still got her mom Well, I don't know They're pretty close. I don't know. They are very close. That is pretty loyal to her daughter That is true. And she's also very happily married to her dad. Maybe we can get like a like No, we can't also we're not gonna go further with that at all. Okay um Wait, what the fuck what what happened? Uh-oh

I just clicked on something by accident and it shows up. It says my date left me alone in his apartment for 45 minutes Then I found out what he was doing. You got a click on it. It's clickbait. I did You got a click on it. It's clickbait. Yeah. Um, I did number six will surprise you apparently Um, apparently she's a tiktoker her name is hannah Robinson we're going first and last okay, dude. It's in the fucking paper. Oh, okay. It's in the rag That's exactly what she claimed to happen to her She was stood up at her house. He went she went he went into his room and was there for 45 minutes. It was just silence

Then she posted it and people were like Guessing what he was doing. Do you have any cool guesses about what he was doing in there? Uh using the bathroom jerking off playing video games asleep Uh ordering tickets to a movie That's all I got Ordering tickets to a movie 45 minutes. Hey man, fantango can crash every now and then do you think I my biggest ones were Jay and the thing

Jay Jay the pulling the jerk jerk in the chicken unscrew unscrew the cork. Yeah, exactly Popping the cork off popping the cork or he was playing video games I would say one of those too would be more likely than mine She explained that she went into her dates room about 10 minutes after posting the original video There she found her date naked on his bed seemingly Hoping to roll around in the sheets before going out Dude, that's a wild move. That is a very intense move and have they been on multiple dates or is this like? Oh, I don't know That's a good question. Also kind of

Dude 45 minutes though outside this right absolutely horrific move Disgusting pig piece of shit, but That's a lot of dedication You need to commit to the bit He's he committed he committed 45 minutes just to lay their naked like she'll come in soon Bro, he laid their naked probably longer than he would last with her. That's well 45 minutes, dude You never know. I don't think I've ever done. There are young stallions that sometimes have the ability in them How do you know he didn't need a couple twizzlers beforehand? That's a myth. Yep. It doesn't help you by the way

I guess what I got in the car twizzlers. Yeah, baby Cool Guess you're gonna have a long sex later Figure it out. Um, but yeah, I have no idea. That's very strange. But imagine that that's not a move that I would ever pull Well, yeah one because that's borderline assault Yeah, you don't surprise someone with your naked body I'm like you need to like be like, yo, do you want to see what I got going on down there? At least that's what I do because I know you'll audibly say like, hey, would you like to because I could be damaging

Well, I I honestly I don't think there's ever a reason not a re I don't think there's ever a time where you're like, I'm going to get naked now Like you kind of just like it happens It it's it's like a weird but like there needs to be a point where you're like, yo, you're cool at this, right? I might not even ever pull my pants off until there's like an attempt To pull my pants. Oh the liner like the finger in the liner thing boom and then I'm like, cool You get you wait for them to say yeah, but I'm not going to do that because I'm like, I don't know Maybe it's just like a this is like a third grade third grade. That's an eighth grade dry humping

I was gonna say who the fuck were you dry humping in third grade? Ms. Pogerman? Yeah I was a teacher Our teacher from third grade dead gone dead. She's got to be annihilated. No, no relax what annihilated. I think she's okay well She was she retired when we were in hers. Our class was her last class. Really? Yeah Oh, dude. Yeah, our class was her last class. You've got to imagine Pogie the Pogie is gone. She probably retired at 70 It's been almost It's been over 20 years just about 20 years. I think she was 70 bro. I think she was 70 no

65 so she's 85 now. Ah That's like an awesome age to live to but yeah, she was a little frail Yeah, look at our How how would I do that just google the last name Pogerman? You think she's going to pop up. You never know. Uh, no, I know I google the last name sanagato and you pop up How do you even spell it Pogra been Pog POG er bin harry potter wiki What?

The Pogra been is a foot tall russian demon with a harry body and an oversized gray head Honestly kind of looked like her and she was definitely russian and definitely short and harry I don't remember the hair you might have remembered you were dry humping apparently. No, I was not frank You don't even ever she told me how to write in script and uh then Helped you learn better by dry humping. I'm on google images and I don't see Pogie. I don't even you know her name Pogerman You know her first name like is it like cathly? I feel like that's every old white woman's name miss Miss miss Pogra been. Oh, I'll put in Pogra been teacher

I put in the school Pogra been Abigail that's not her name that whoa hold on that might be dude Abigail old white people loved Abigail. No this woman's 57 Oh, yeah, no, no no Abigail Pogra been Maybe it's her daughter Let's look at she has a wiki profile her parents Burt Pogra been And letty cotton

What letty cotton Pogra been I don't know how these people are. What are we doing? That might not be it I can I feel like I should ask my mom what miss Pogra been's first name was I think it's okay We'll figure it out. But before we move any further. Oh, you want to take a bite of this chili? I don't Let's get to our sponsors the remaining sponsors for today's episode, which is hello fresh. Hello fresh Brings all these pre portion ingredients and seasonal recipes recipes right to your doorstep It skips trips to the grocery store And also takes the hardest part about cooking out of cooking which is like what should I make? Sort of you make that decision for yourself you go on their site and you figure out

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That includes a four-week trial plus free postage and a digital scale no long-term commitments or contracts Just go to stamps.com click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and enter basement for all of that folks. Okay Uh, so there you go Very nice very good very nice friends of the show very good very nice friends of the show Also, since we were talking about old people you you did bring up a thing earlier I did I did I brought up something that I saw apparently old people at it again can't stop Are getting a surgical procedure done where it's like Botox on their bladders So they have to pee less

Because their drive to the Hamptons was too long Was it cited specifically for Hampton's drives apparently it was cited as because people are it takes too long in their cars On the way to their vacation destinations Well, clearly they have not mastered the car piss like yourself. Well, no one is a quite Joe on there's certain Guarantees about the earth and life. Okay death Taxes and you're gonna piss in that car and there's a bottle of piss in my car Do you have a bottle of piss in your car right now very much so how many one? Is it full? Yes

Is it fresh? Oh, yes I mean, how fresh are we talking today? No Yesterday yes, you consider yesterday's piss a fresh piss. It's piss. Yeah, same question I would say 24 hours is a fresh piss Yeah, you go to the butcher You heard that it was from last night. You're cool with it. We're not talking about me. We're talking about piss. Oh, yeah Um, I would say yesterday's piss is it's still good and you do it. You let it rip How many times have I peed on myself countless?

How many times have I clean said piss on myself by just dumping hand sanitizer on my pants also countless that doesn't stain Good You wouldn't know it just smells not like piss right and that's my concern So your whole car is covered in piss not whole car just the passenger just driver's driver's seat. Yeah, it's covered in absolutely Absolutely saturated in piss. We've actually beckon. I've been new car shopping and I don't tell her this But a part I mean she'll find out now a part of me looking at our new cars is like how comfortable would it be to pee in this car? That's important god forbid You're like, what's the what's the piss situation with this car? I gotta say guys like what if you guys hold that in high regard as I do

Ford explorers make pretty nice cars. Those are good piss cars. Cheap plug Don't want them to send me any money or give me half off. Let's say. I don't know their new 2022 I would say if you're looking to pee in a car comfortably for it explorer might be your car. Yeah I don't know that I've ever like actually piss in a car because the thing is I feel like I could fill up a bottle Look at these lickety-split. Well, that's the thing is you need to pinch it off You need to I can't do that. You have to you can stop a piss even though you're still have to pee. Yeah, I can't yeah Absolutely once I start to piss I'm pissing. It's pissed. It's piss time. It's piss time. Yeah, it's I'm not gonna stop not morphin time No, it's piss time

But uh, hold on. Let me look this up the rich rich bladder botox. It's called. Yeah, and like this is just one of those things that gets me so angry because it's like It's kind of one of those stories and like ideas that are just so tone deaf You know and it's like oh, tell me how hard your life is on your way to your fucking Hamptons mansion You piece of shit. You should you should piss your pants. They're calling it Hamptons bladder That's the richest thing I've ever heard. That is that's basically yeah

But the traffic is pretty bad to the Hamptons. It is but also why the fuck would anyone want to go on Long Island? Well, one thing the Hamptons are very nice, but There's only one fucking road. Yes. Get another road folks. Yo, it's one road. It's like Key West. It's one road in one one road out also if you're rich enough That you go to the Hamptons enough that this is an issue and then you're also rich enough to be like I'm going to get Botox on my bladder. Just take a helicopter you fucking bitch or watch this Sell the house on the Hamptons get it in a place that is

Significantly more accessible than the fucking Hamptons Frank, but it's nice Those of you guys that don't know the Hamptons is like way out toward the eastern end of Long Island. Yes, and Long Island itself is a disaster Getting to the Hamptons is even worse because like Joey said it's one road in one road out and it's all traffic. It'll take you How long do you say Long Island is is an island 100 miles? No, it's more than that 200 no Oh, maybe I don't know. Let's let's say let's say Montauk is far. Let's say 200 miles I'll put it into Montauk from here right now. Let's say 200 miles. You're going

20 miles per hour the whole time it legitimately will take you four or five hours to get halfway through that goddamn God forsaken heap of shit to Montauk is 108 miles. So it's like maybe 120 miles from from here Montauk is the end though. Yeah That's what I'm saying and we're about at the we're at the water in Brooklyn Yeah, so we're at like the edge of Long Island So from here straight out to Montauk is 108, but that but like that's right to like the center of Montauk There's still like some way to go. So it's let's just say it's 120 miles Long Island And this says a lot of people have problems with this issue. They come out to the Hamptons and have to stop four or five times on the way

But you can't find a restroom Four or five times dude, I don't know about that I mean four or five times is a lot. I've had to stop twice most It's like 70 miles to get to Connecticut, right? From me. No, it's about 120. Well, I'm saying from Story, yeah, it's like 70 miles. Oh story. I've never had. Yeah, that's a thing. Never. I'm also not an old man with it That's right bladder. I will tell you this though. I can't be in a car drunk because I will I had will have to pay Yeah, I went to a wedding out in Long Island not long ago and

We drove home at night I had a couple drinks. I wasn't drunk, but I had a couple drinks, you know feeling a loosey-goosey beck was driving and I peed I think Two two times into a bottle ginger ale bottle A bottle or a can bottle Oh, like one of the okay. Yeah, one of the screw-on bottles that I just put it right in the cup holder Where does all this piss go? You just pour it down your drain near your house. Yeah, pretty much

How much how many gallons of piss do you think that drain has seen? At least three Three gallons bro. I'm a big peer, dude I'm a big peer All I'm saying is I think that the people the old people can learn from me the working class man Just like figure it the fuck out, dude. God forbid you ever get into an accident, right? Yeah But if that does happen There's gonna be piss everywhere. Oh, yeah

It's gonna be a great story because you know, there's at least one bottle That you lost No, I hope not it could be in the trunk I will say there have been times where I thought there were bottles in there and then I went to look for them and they Weren't so I'm like, what the fuck it got up and left, you know What if someone's like trying to steal my dna has anyone ever gotten to your card like what's this? Oh, yeah 100%

Was it Becca or like someone Becca? Thankfully. Oh, you know, uh, I don't think she knows that you're fucking empty Oh, I'm very I tell her everything I share my entire life with her. She knows I pee in the car all the time Didn't she say you shit in the car one time or don't make that up. You definitely made that up Oh, no, I wasn't even trying to be funny. I thought you actually shit in your car. No if if and when that day happens Oh my god, we will talk about it That's the worst feeling in the world. I can imagine that happened to me recently. I didn't shit in the car No, I didn't oh, but I I don't know why but I was leaving here

And I was like, oh no like I got to my car And it was too late Because I was already like out of the parking lot and I was like, I have to go bro And then I had to get all the way home and it was like during rush hour. So it took me like half an hour Dude It's fucking elevator. I'm clicking the button like Those are the worst like when you're like, you don't know if you're gonna make it and you have to like there's a point of like You know, the seven stages of grief or whatever it is where it's like acceptance bargaining denial anger

Bargaining. There's there's a part It's a part where you're just like you're ready to like you're angry like fuck. Why not? You're scared. You're nervous and then like you see just like random restaurants or fucking Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks or whatever and you want to go in and bargain like yo, I can't tell you I've gone on multiple account like occasions Gone into like a Starbucks. There's a Krispy Kreme in Manhattan where I just go up to the front Like they're like, no, you can't use it unless you're a fucking Customer and I just go up and I'm like give me anything And they're like I'm like a donut. I don't care and a bottle of water anything

And then I just swipe my card and just run through the bathroom bro And then there's like I'm down to get a donut. Yeah, I know me too But like then you have to accept that like I might shit my pants right here like I might And if I do I have to be okay with my decision Yeah, I ran into like a hotel one time I left my car in the middle lane with Greg like when I first met him. Oh, I remember you told me that yeah What's the worst place you've had to run into?

That was probably the worst one because I had to go so bad I literally put my car in park in the middle lane in fucking Manhattan And just left my car with a stranger essentially like a dude that I worked with that I wasn't really cool with I was like you got it. I literally said you got it and left And I didn't even care what happened. I was like, I just need to get this poop out of me Yeah, and I ran in and I was like I was sweating and I was like The worst the worst place for me was 1000 percent Um

Oh, I've shit outside too. Yes, you have you told me that you've never shit outside Come on, we've all shit outside I can't I'm sure I have I can't remember or recall But the worst place was like I went into like it was like in Harlem. I went into there was nothing around I don't know where I was in Harlem, but a fucking bodega And I went in I was like I I'm like this I wouldn't be doing this if this wasn't near death I need to use your bathroom and they moved the wall and it was like the like typical bodega bathroom basement where it was like There was no lights

Fire it was honestly Scary you thought you were gonna nose it if I wasn't going to Lose my self-respect. I was gonna die down there I also hate that when like you have to make that like choice like okay I'm going into this place And you know it's up to them your fate is in their hands and you're like if you say no It's over for me. Well, no, I I I think on one occasion. I have said to the person like listen This if if you don't help me here

There's it's gonna be a fucking mess You're gonna have to fucking clean up a lot of like it's the worst feeling you know And like that's like you put the power on their hands. You know what I mean? Like I've gone through like restaurants where or like places where they didn't have a bathroom and I'm like, how How the fuck do you not have a bathroom? Yeah, that's bullshit. I hate that that that and like That was my last piece. Those are the biggest lies told no last piece I can get but when they're like, oh, we don't have a bathroom I was like, where do you go? Yeah, you're working in our ship. No pee. No poop or it's like, oh, I've cut I've cut through like

restaurant like cafe kitchens But they've been like go to the back of the kitchen and I'm like walking through and they're like people like fucking making souffles and shit Honestly have anxiety talking about this really You got it's the worst feeling in the world. You got to go. No, I do not Do you want to take a bite of this? I do not you take it rock, paper, scissors best two out of three No, please. I already ate one. It's not that hot eat it It's like hot it's flavorful

Yeah, it is hot. Yeah I can't believe you fucking surprised me with one of those I got you. That's not that bad. It's hot, but it's not that bad pizza. Shit. Um, yeah, I think we can wrap up here Frank, where can they find you do yourself first? I need a do. Oh, okay. Oh, you're you're dying over there Don't Frankie You like catch go ahead. I want to watch what happens if you're actually gonna do that what happens if I do nothing I Frankie that was fucking disgusting, dude

I'm yo, oh my god. I can't believe you just did that I saw that hit you right in the teeth Yo, you're fucking savage. You're neanderthal neanderthal neanderthal. You were right. Uh, f hours 80 85 on twitter You freak alvers on instagram Yeah Didn't help. No, I'll tell you that. Uh, you guys can follow me at joseph and I will follow the show at the baseman yard on Tiktok and instagram that is all See you guys next time. Bye. Bye. Bye