The Basement Yard - #358 - What To Do When You Get Stood Up

Episode Date: August 8, 2022

Joe and Frank discuss the best ways to deal with being stood up! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. How's everyone going Frankie? Stop doing that. Please stop doing that. How's everyone going? I don't- I was hoping that we just- I caught that you little bitch! No way! Of course I'm gonna catch that. Don't fucking restart it.

I'm not- I'm not- I'm not- Let the world know how not perfect you are. Alright? Yeah. Make sure that no one here forgets. Okay. By the way, hold on. How did I forget?

Welcome back to the newest episode of Keeping it Frank where you- you're damn right. I do what I gotta do in order to keep it Frank with you. Joey, how you doing today? Good. You know, people love Keeping it Frank. They talk about it all the time. They do. Someone said if we put it on a shirt, they'd buy every shirt, every color. I think I saw that.

But you didn't do it. No. So that's another episode in another episode of Keeping it Frank. Got it. But, how you doing? You have a good weekend? What? You have a good weekend, Joe?

Yes, where's this going? I was just asking you a question. Did you have a good weekend? I had an okay weekend, yes. It's been a bit hot, huh? Hot in here in the northeast? Yeah, heat wave. That global warming is knocking on our door. I know where this is going. It's letting us know that it's here.

Mm-hmm. And it's here to stay. Okay. Um, what do you do? Do you like the heat, by the way? Are you a heat boy? Just get to it. Are you a hot boy, Joey? We get it.

Are you a hot boy? I don't know. I don't- I don't think so. Would you prefer the winter or the summer? Easily the summer. Because of why? The sun? Thank you. So, let me ask you a question.

What do you do in order to keep cool and during the heat? Stay in air conditioning. That's right. Drink cold beers. Oh, that's another right. Yeah. So, let me ask you something. You like to stay fit?

Oh, my God. Huh? Just say it. What the fuck did you do the other day? What happened? Welcome back to Keeping It Frank. What the fuck did you do the other day that you decided? Those of you guys that don't follow Joe on Instagram,

which if you didn't, how are you here? Yeah. Joey decided to do a running challenge in 105 degree weather. Was it 105? It was 105 by me and Tom's River, so that means it was hotter in the city. Yeah, it was pretty hot. It was pretty brutal.

I had this idea like months ago. Hold on. Yeah. It's not my idea. It's not like a- I didn't create this. All right. You jumped on it.

No. Someone- someone- I saw it online somewhere. I don't think it's that popular, but- I'd never- I'd never- There's a way harder one that's more popular. That like isn't possible. I would never be able to do it. Okay.

But it's like you do four miles every four hours for 48 hours. That I would never even attempt. Okay. That's impossible. What did you do? I did 1.1 miles every hour on the hour for 24 hours. So you- I slept in a park.

You slept- oh, you slept in a park? Yeah. And you woke up every hour? Yep. Hold on a sec. I started at 11 AM. Hold on, hold on. So you thought it- you're like one of those actors that's like,

I'm playing a homeless man. Let me fucking live on the streets. No. You wanted to feel like a real gross piece of shit. I just figured that was the easiest- because there's a track. So it was easiest to track how far you've gone. So instead of sleeping in your apartment- Right.

And waking up and going down to the street level and running around. First of all, I thought that would be way harder. Why? Because if I'm sleeping in my bed, I'm definitely not going to want to get out. The temptation? Not only that, but like also running on the street, like there's like hills and shit. Like it's probably way harder.

Like on a track at least, you're like flat land. Okay. And it's easier to track. So I was like, I'd rather just stay here all day. So let me- I had previously done a 24 hour stream on Twitch. I've done it twice actually. Yeah. That was hard because I was sitting and playing video games.

Yeah. You decided, like let me test the boundaries of my endurance. Right. By running a mile every hour. Yeah. On the hour. Yeah. And how long would it take you to run a mile?

10 minutes? Yeah, on average. So for 24 hours. So what does that make? Like a marathon, but a little, let's say a little over a marathon. Why the fuck would you do this, Joey? Dude, honestly, the entire time I was saying this is so fucking stupid. The entire time.

No, and- And I was hoping because we're right near the bridge. Yeah. That you could jump off of it. No, that one, at one point it was just like, I wish this bridge would come down. Yeah. Like just end this. Just where are you?

Also at one point someone's engine was like backfiring. You know when people are like really cool and they like their engine pops, whatever the fuck that is? Doesn't make sense to me. And I was like, I hope someone's just like bucking shots at us so we can leave. Oh, yeah. Well, I mean- It was that miserable. Honestly, the first five, six miles were the hardest part.

I'm sure. It was so fucking hot. I'm sure. So instead of just being like, I'm not going to do this, you were hoping that someone was firing off fucking rounds. Yeah, at me. You didn't just think of just stopping? Just being like, you know what?

I don't need to do this. I don't need to prove to myself that I can do something this dumb. It was the commitment. You know what it was? Like I had the idea a while ago when I was in much better running shape, right? Because I was like running a lot and I was like, all right. You know, because I was training for a half and then I got like got sick or something and I like couldn't run for two weeks.

And then I was just like, okay, I can't. Now I can't run. It was basically going back to square zero. But at that point, I was like, oh, I just found this challenge thing because I was just getting fed running shit. And I was like, you know what? I think I could do this. Like it is pretty doable because even if you're going to walk the entire thing,

you can walk it in 20 minutes. You know, and like that's not at like a speed walking pace. You can walk a mile in 20 minutes. It's still very hard and the hardest part honestly is the sleeping portion because I was sleeping on a fucking towel and like a duffel bag. That is by the way, children at the park till 3am running around, screaming, playing tag. What are you, what do you care? You weren't sleeping.

Bro, I was attempting to for 50 minutes. Yeah. Joey, you might as well not don't even don't even give yourself a little suckle of the nectar at that point in time. Just fucking stay up the whole time. It's hard, bro. No, I know they shut the lights off at the track. So it's dark.

Well, I assume because you know what? They're not thinking in their head. There are some idiot entrepreneurs that are thinking that it would be smart to run this much in this fucking time frame. Yeah, that was pretty fucking stupid. I just I saw that and I mess you. I was like, I messaged you and I said, send me the logins for everything. I can keep the show going after your death and demise.

Right. You probably afterward felt accomplished internally. Honestly, not and not as much as I thought I would like. I feel like it wasn't worth it. Like I really do feel that like it's not like it looked back on it. Like, no, that was actually pretty cool. Like it wasn't like it was very hard. I hate you more for saying that the heat was so bad.

But like that's the thing. So and I showered in the middle of it. So I oh, at least you showered. Well, because I was like, I need just like because up your skin, bro. And also I have a little pimple because I was just covered in sweat. But I have a unrelated. No, like sweat makes me. I mean, yeah, it makes me like my lip break out or whatever, like right here.

This is every single time I get pimples right here. Sox might be something else. No, but I in the middle of it, I think around 5 p.m. We started at 11 a.m. So like 5 p.m. Or 6 p.m. I went home right after the mile and showered and then ran the 7 at p.m. One around my apartment and then went back to the track after that.

But after that was when the heat was like done, basically. And that was when the heat was done. Once the sun was down, it was like way easier, way easier. I imagine. I imagine. But like, what did you do for like sustenance? What did you eat? I had banana in the morning.

Scared me. Someone walked by the window and it scared me. I just had a banana in the morning. And then well, the night before I like had a bunch of pasta and water. Well done. Carbalode. Yeah, and then I had a banana in the morning and then I just went to the track and I filled up a cooler with like waters and Gatorades.

And then in the middle of that, we bought sandwiches from South Christ and Charlies. Duh, the sandwich king. Needed some salt to retain some water. But I ended up only eating like a third of that. I would hate you less. And then I had chicken fingers and fries at like 11 p.m. I would hate you less if you said like, yo, I felt so accomplished and so good. Afterward, you're saying like, no, it was miserable and I hated it.

I would have quit so fucking hard. And not that I hated it. Like, yeah, do you feel accomplished? Sure. But it's like. You get nothing for it. I don't know. Like it was like.

Honestly, you get more. You know what? You know what? I you the only thing though, I would say the biggest thing that I think I took from this was that I like everything feels like a lot easier now. Oh, like as far as like exercising, like if I go to the track right now and run three miles, like I feel like I'm going to suffer way less than I did. Yeah, you had it real hard as a straight white man in New York City, right?

I'm talking about exercise. You needed to make it easier on you. Yes. I have so much pent up anger at you. How far, how long do you think you could last? Honestly. Yeah. Maybe seven.

Seven hours. Yeah. Maybe because that's I first of all, I hate cardio and I know it's only a mile and it's not that bad, but I hate cardio, Joey. Can't you tell? Yeah. And I also would get too hungry to the point and I'd get too tired. Like the thing with the 24 hour stream, that was tough, but you're in your own space.

Like you're not fighting the elements. You're not really doing anything that is like outside of just staying awake. I knew like, can also eat because like I was, I was eating, but I was like, I can't, I had to drive home to shit at one point because there was, I mean, I shit also in the park bathrooms, but then they shut them at a certain point. Oh, yeah. So I was like, so anytime you have to piss or shit, but also didn't pee a lot because I was like, obviously sweating like crazy, but I was hydrating a lot.

I actually gained two pounds, but it was probably all water weight. All water weight. Yeah. From the salt and the water. Yeah. I can't tell you how much I fucking hated you for it, but you know what? Maybe next time do something normal in the, in the heat. Like go to a fucking your friend's pool or sit inside and have a fucking ice cold margarita.

And that's what I say because I'm keeping it Frank. Wow. Very good. Ladies and gentlemen, I got him so fucking hard. I would do it again, but only for 12 hours. I think that's like a good, a good number. So cool. Yeah.

I can't tell you how, if you had brought that up to me, first of all, I know you and you would never ask me to do that because you would know. Do you want to do it? No. 12 hours. No. All right. If you would ask me to do it, I would do 12 hours.

I would try 12 hours, but I think you could do it. I'm sure I could, but I wouldn't because I am not a fucking psychopath running in 105 degree weather. If I were to do it again, I would definitely pick a different time to do it. I'm sure doing it in November is a lot easier. Yeah. Cold air hits you in the throat and you feel it. Or like September.

Well, September is hot now. September is the summer. Yeah. October. October is probably the best time to do something like that. Probably much easier to do that. Halloween, get a little candy. Yeah, but you don't want to be cold at night.

Fuck. Jesus. You don't want to be cold at night. What? And you like sleeping cold. Yeah. But you're outside. Bro, there was mad shady shit going on and sleeping in a park is not cool, bro.

That was like my first taste of being homeless or houseless. Don't worry. You never have to worry about that again. Yeah. Did you see like people doing stuff? Definitely saw some hooker stuff. Really? Yeah.

Yeah. Hooker stuff. Unless there's like done up girls hanging out in parking lots. Well, wouldn't you? If I was hooking. Yeah, that's where I would go. You didn't decide to gamble, you know, dabble a little bit? I did not.

No, I was busy running and then trying to see. That's right. You were busy being absolutely shredded. No. Yeah, it was a good time. It was a good time. Not a good time. It was a good time watching you having the idea, but I also hated you for it.

A lot of ridicule. I imagine I'm not the only person that made fun of you for this. And if I am. No, you are. Well, well. Nobody else. Nobody else. No, everyone just told me that was like, what?

Honestly, when I posted about it on Instagram, people were like, why? Yeah. Like, oh, what? Or people would be like, what is this for? I understand. You know, put up like a link for like a donation or whatever, but I didn't even do that. I honestly, I wasn't doing it for any reason. I have to say, I never, ever, ever, like, I get the idea in theory, but like being like

I'm going to run to support this. I don't like walks and marches. I understand like raising the money and I understand like, you know, an act of solidarity, but like one person that's like, I will do 10 pushups. You know, I think it's the motivation. I already had it because I was like, I just want to see if I could do this, but like people will run a marathon for like some charity and it's like, well, I got to finish the fucking people.

I already raised the money in there. I just, I wonder because like I tend, I consider myself quite disciplined and every now and then I like to do something to just test it to be like, can I do this? You know what I mean? Just to see if I have the internal fortitude, Joey, but for that, I know that I don't. Yeah. That was a rough one. It was really tough.

Honestly. Well, glad you're still alive. Yeah. Dude. Fucking. I also immediately after I wanted to drink so bad, but I didn't. Oh, I would have threw back a beer or five. I wanted a beer so bad at like midnight.

I was like, yo, I would do anything for you. That's when you do it. Yeah. But I didn't people aren't there like stories that like runners drinking beers during marathons after it. I believe. I would do it. He said he saw a video once of a guy running some sort of like ultra marathon or whatever

the fuck. And he just had a whole pizza in his hand and he was eating it just like getting the carbs in. That's kind of some people are savages. They do like a hundred mile races and shit. Yeah. I don't. Those people are dumb to me.

Like, like there are people that are stupid, but then there are people like that that are just dumb because they know better. Yeah. There's a guy, Jesse Isler, who I follow and he's like, he does a lot of running and shit. I got a free plug on the show. And he don't worry. He's a fucking billionaire. I think he'll be all right.

But he, he ran a hundred mile race. That takes like literally a full day of like not stopping. Well, I'm good for him, but also fuck him. That's crazy. Jesse, if you're watching now, fuck you a hundred miles. There's people who do a race where it's like a marathon, like every day for four days through the desert. Yeah.

Listen to me. Yeah. I think that you have to arrest those people. You have to kill them. Don't even, don't even give them the chance to get tried. That's me. Put a fucking bullet in between their eyes, Joey. I think that's crazy.

Don't give them the opportunity to be defended in a court of law. Just like, just kill them. Yeah. I don't know. That seems a little crazy. That should be against the law. You know what else is against the law, but isn't against the law, but should be against the law, apparently, farting in someone's face.

That's right. That's right. It isn't. It should be. I think it is. I'm tagging all of this into a tagging. I mean, I'm connecting all of this for our first story for today, where an actress said that good old Arnie Schwartz, Arnold Schwarzenegger, he farted in a woman's face in 1999, which

is when you could fart in a woman's face. Oh, well, no, I don't think you could ever fart in a woman's face. In 1999 is the year to do it, dude. The 90s? Well, yeah. Everyone thought Y2K was coming. The world's going to end. Might as well just kind of fucking just start ripping off some sheets.

Well, women back then also had much less of a say in what their people could do to their body right in front of their face, apparently, in front of their face, apparently. This sucks. And I'll tell you why, because we all know, I think, well, first of all, it's Arnold. I feel like farting in someone's face is kind of funny, though. Really? For fucking who? Joey, I'm letting you know right now, if you were to ever fart in my face, you know how

mad I was. So there's a clip that Danny had posted. You guys might have seen this before. You might not have. Yeah. A couple of years ago, I was on a work call trying to set up a meeting with this fucking guy. Danny came literally this close to my face and just like absolutely destroyed a fart.

It was a very achy fart. I was like, I was going to say, it sounded like there was some pain behind his fart. And there probably was. Yeah, probably. Yeah. But I was so like astonished, angry. I didn't know how to react. But you had to keep it cool because you're on a work call.

I was on a work call. It's the perfect time to fart in a person's face. And I started coughing. Yes. Do you remember? I do. Because I didn't want the person to be like, what the fuck was that? Yeah.

Because then they would be like, hey, I'm not going to fucking meet with you. Yeah. And then get fired. Because you're farting on the phone. They were farting on the phone. I farted on the phone with people and they've called me out for it. And I didn't think. First of all, they're not the type of person that you, if I was on the phone with a person

like a stranger, I would never call them out for something that I thought was a fart. So wait, hold on. I need to know exactly what happened, when happened, how it happened. I was just standing in my living room and I'm on this call with people I've never met before. And I just farted because I figured there's no way they're going to be able to hear that. Well, Joey, you're on. Hey, they heard it.

Yeah. Clearly. And then the guy was talking and I just farted and it wasn't like loud as hell, but it was definitely a fart. Like, what was it? But I farted and then the guy just stopped and he's like, yeah, so I fart. And I just didn't say anything because there was a couple of people on the call. That's worse, Joey.

Yeah. That's worse. You need to say like, no, I didn't. You need to lie. I did lie. Oh, what do you say? Well, I just said, what? And he's like, do you fart?

No, wait, what are you talking about? And I was like, no, I mean, I'm walking around my apartment, I don't know. You did the gaslighting trick, smart. Big time. Over a fart. Over a fart. You can gaslight over a fart. You think I'm going to go, yeah, I just fucking ripped it up.

No, I'm not going to say that. Yeah. I let one go. You're crazy to be asking me that though. You're asking me about my asshole. I mean, that's someone that clearly, you know, like doesn't, they are, they are a man or woman of business. We did do business after that, though.

You did not fart in their, you know, presence because that would be inappropriate. It's like Vince McMahon, we talked about him the other day, by the way, gone retired from the WWE. Right. You couldn't sneeze around him. He would get apparently irate. Sneezing? Yeah.

That's crazy, bro. I can't hold back a sneeze. Baby sneeze. They know how to do it. Baby's are idiots. You're not an idiot. Well, you were on Saturday when you ran that stupid fucking marathon challenge. This honestly, this thing that they did like the 1920s, like that actually helps you.

Does it? Yeah. When you're trying to sneeze. You just let it fly. I don't care where I am, what I'm doing. You'll sneeze at someone's face. Not at someone's face. You sneezed at me before.

As a joke. Yeah. But how fucking funny is that? As a fake. Today, nowadays, not as funny. It was a thing that I used to do that I would pretend to fake sneeze on people. It was never real. I'm a very good fake sneezer.

You are. Do a fake sneeze. Okay. Oh God. There's a pressure, man. It's not that exciting, Frank. That's unbelievable. Unbelievable.

I can't. I couldn't. I'll try right now. Go. Okay. You got the quiver. Get the fakesies quiver. I'm doing the quiver.

I'm doing the quiver. The fakesies quiver. I usually pump fake a lot when I sneeze. I pump a lot. I pump a lot. I pump a lot. I pump a lot. I pump a lot.

I pump a lot. I pump a lot. I pump a lot. I pump a lot. I pump a lot. That was not that good. That was too... You need to shoot it.

No. You need to really let it fly through. Not bad. I don't know. But you need it like to follow through is the most important part. It's the... Come here. That's really good.

The follow through. Yeah. You got me. You know. And I used to do that to my friends in a joking way. Not real. But they were getting real spit on them. Yeah.

Which you're not supposed to spit on your friends. I think if you're going to spit on anyone it's going to be your friends or your partner. Whatever. Okay. Now this woman who was in Harry Potter. Who did she play? She played, I think... Morning Myrtle.

I think she was like the herbology teacher. Professor Sprout. Yeah. She was like, yo, these things scream. Don't pick them up. Oh yeah. The... No, I don't know the name.

Yeah. She said her quote is, now I fart. Ew. Women farting, dude. Women don't fart. If I ever hear one. Professor Sprout. God, I swear to God.

If I ever hear a woman fart, I'll kill them. Your sex is when it comes to farts. That's fire. But I'm also sexist. No, no, no. I hate all farts. I don't want to hear your farts either. But you don't give me a choice.

No. You don't. So she goes, now I fart. Of course I do. Yeah. Of course. Chill out. Of course.

I fart. Of course. Yeah, I fucking say it. Watch this. Watch this. Watch what I could do. Here, geeks. Now I fart.

Of course I do. But I don't fart in people's faces. What a nerd, dude. No, I'm with you. You've never done that? Bro, I'm with her on that one. I've never farted in someone's face. She said he did it deliberately, right in my face.

I can't remember the date, someone's asking for the date, but it was during the filming of End of Days in Los Angeles. Bro, I would be upset. I would be doubly upset if it were fucking Arnold Schwarzenegger, because one, that's Arnold, man. That's the governator. You know what I mean? Like here comes Arnold, he's put together, you know, and like you see him and it's like,

yo, this dude is sick. And then he's fucking. Blast off. Blast off into your snotch. You know how mad I would be? I don't know that it would be that upset, because it's a story. Fair enough. Like Bill Murray like slaps you in the face, like you're tight, but you're also like, yo,

Bill Murray slapped me. Yeah. You know what would be an even cooler story of Bill Murray slapping me in the face? Me beating the dog shit out of Bill Murray slapping me in the face. She said, I was playing Satan's sister, this movie sounds trash, by the way. I was playing Satan's sister after, and he was killing me, so he had me in a position where I couldn't escape lying on the floor and he just farted. It wasn't on film and it wasn't in any of the pauses between takes, but I haven't forgiven

him for it. Wait, so it was like a part of the movie or like it was an accident? It sounds like he just fucking set it off. I mean, it sounds like it was an accident. Then you got to be, I've accidentally farted in front of the wrong crowd and I tried to move forward, but they were like, did you, and I was like, oh, I don't, I don't think I honestly, I'm a silent farter. You'll never hear me fart.

Sometimes they escape. They escape. No, I haven't pretty good at it. Yeah, no, sometimes. You know, even people like- I'm pretty good. Dude, people escape from jail sometimes. They do, but guess what, you can fortify those walls, keep them in.

I know. Let me say this, you ready? I got caught farting in public once and it was in third grade. In class? Yep. And I blamed Maria Baglio. Damn, MBs. Personalized.

You blamed it on the bags? I blamed it on the bags and- You blamed Maria Baglio. Of all people. She was sitting next to me and like, sorry, collateral damage. What did she say? She was upset. She was like, I know I, you know, and I was like, she did.

You know, and then David was in the back throwing up brown stuff on his desk or some stupid shit. Yeah, he used to throw up like every four days. All the fucking day. Wait, hold on. Who caught you? The gas nostrils. Miss Pogerman caught you?

Bro, I remember as clear as day- Miss Pogerman caught you farting. The whole class, bro. It was like- Wow. It was like a crunch. What? And it was just like, you know, like a kid fart.

Kid farts are like, you know, like prime. Yeah, it sounds like a stupid duck. Yeah, exactly. And I remember everyone was like, oh, Franky? And I was like, bro, not me. Maria Baglio. And she was like not having it. Dude, that's crazy.

And I think because- I thought he used to sit next to Pooja. I sat next to a bunch of people. They'd change our seats all the time. Yeah. Pooja had those little fruit gels. They'd put it every single day. That's a Pooja, bro.

She had the farts. Yeah. Where the hell did Pooja go, by the way, dude? Fucking hell, bro. Listen. I just want those fruit gels back. That's all I care about. Same.

Those fruit gels were very good. Hell yeah. But I gas lit Maria Baglio into thinking the whole class thinking she farted. I don't think you gas lit her unless she believed that she did fart. I might have convinced her. I might have been like, maybe you just can't control yourself. Maybe you don't know. But we all know.

I actually did this a second time. I'm a fart gas lighter, dude. Oh my god. Who'd you blame my fart on? But this was a prank. So 2008, I want to say, we were driving down to Florida to see my uncle. Or it might have been earlier. But my dad, I remember as a prank, remember you go to Spencer's Gifts.

Spencer's Gifts. You get prank stuff. Yeah, you get dildos and like. Well, no, hold on. Prank stuff. Why do you go straight to dildos? They sell dildos. They sell like fake poop.

Yeah, I know they sell them. Yeah, like shit spray and. Yeah, fart spray, fake smoke, dildos, yes, sure. But that's not what I'm getting there. OK. And dick shaped cake tins. Yes. Dick gummies.

Yeah. A lot of them, pussy pops. I had one. We had one. They were good. They weren't bad. I bought a fart machine. And it was a little black box with a speaker on it and a remote and it said like wet fart,

dry fart. Oh, which one did you do? A bunch. No, no, to the to the person. All of them. Listen up. We were in the car. We were getting ready to drive down a little road trip road trip.

Hated it. Family road trip. Yeah. Hated every second of it. There's only one person that I hope you did it for. My uncle. Oh, I thought you were doing it to your sister. That'd be even funnier.

No. Oh, no, no, no. I did it to Beatrice. Another woman. Another woman. Which also... Well, you did this to Beatrice? This had been recent.

No. Wait, how long has your dad been with Beatrice? Questionably long, Joe. Yeah, I feel like... I feel like, no, but I feel like you were like a little like 18, 19. Nope, nope, nope, nope. Really? She's been...

Wow. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Questionably close to around the time that my parents got divorced. Fire. I'm gonna get shit for that one. But we put it, she was sitting in the front seat and I put it right in between, you know, like a dead zone, right in between the middle console and the seat.

And we were in the car and, you know, my dad's now wife doesn't speak much English. Right. So we're in the car and we're driving and all of a sudden I hit the button and she's like, bleh. Did anyone else know this existed? Everyone knew. My dad knew. My brothers knew.

My sister knew. Thank you. Everyone knew. Everyone knew. I was thinking it was one of us to be like, oh, that's gross, but we all went Beatrice and she went, no, no, no, it's me. And we were like, I don't know. And then we, I did it again and we're all like, oh my God, Beatrice.

And she's like, she's like, no, no, it's not me. And we did, I did it again and I just kept going it all. And she's like, no. And she starts crying. No. Yes. She starts crying and we could, we kept saying like, it'll be just, she's like, no. She starts gagging and we convinced this woman that she couldn't control her asshole

and she was farting everywhere and gagging. It didn't even smell. My bro. And she was like, no. Oh my. We're like, it'll be just cover yourself. She's like, I'm sorry. I got.

Classic. Bro. What is wrong with you? Classic. Did you eventually tell her or she just lived her life? Eventually we told her. She knows now. Okay.

But at the time, boy, oh boy, was it as I was going to say, I'm going to snitch. Oh yeah. What are you going to say to her, Joe? I'm going to look up the. No, SU Farto. No, you can't see Spanish. It was quite the experience, but yeah, but back to Arnold Schwarzenegger, I'd be upset because you know, he's a fucking workout freak.

He's got protein. And he's got those protein shits, dude. Stinks. Yeah. People are in shape. They fart like fucking hell. Yeah. Cause they're like, oh, I wake up and I have fucking four hard boiled eggs and wash it

down with the fucking protein shake. And it's like, bro, you smell like shit always. Yeah. Yeah. Your shits are fucking wild. That's probably what he smelled like. Protein does that to me too. Really?

Yeah. When I, any protein, like I have like a plant based protein cause I was like, maybe this will be better. Yeah. Keep yourself in good shape. Well, well, no, just because the regular protein, like I'm fucking shit, bro. When are you going to admit that you spit out of your butt more than the normal person? Oh, not, not spitting.

Just like fucking big shits. God almighty. What has come of us? The way I said that. You're not spitting. You're just doing big shit. Big shit. This one's a little better, but still protein.

Just kind of like. I would be so pissed. Yeah. It was funny though. But yeah. As a slave from Harry Potter, she got her fucking shit sprayed at. So. Arnold Schwarzenegger basically took a shit on her face.

Yeah. But you know, whatever happens happens, man. And when you make Terminator 2, you can fart on a couple of faces, I guess. He did make Terminator 2 running. Running man? Is that him? I think so. Eraser.

That's a low key one. Wow. True Lies. That's a good one. True Lies is a good movie. Yeah. The bridge is old. You know, I mean, the pinnacle of Schwarzenegger movies though, obviously, 1, 2, 3 jingle

all the way. That's a good one too. Put that cookie down. Put that cookie down. Yeah. When the kid puts a red ball in his mouth, and he like goes and like. Oh wait, I may be thinking of kindergarten. Oh no, no, no.

That's a different one. Bro, are you watching all the way recently? Watch it during Christmas this year? Low key? A bit of like domestic terrorism going on in there. Yeah. And they're like cool with it. Yeah.

He's like, this is not a bomb. It's a fucking bomb that blows up in this guy's face. Right, yeah. Go watch it. Domestic terrorism. It happens. Sometimes you gotta terrorize around Christmas time to have a good dinner. You know what I mean?

Yeah. After that. I'm not. Okay. Would you say domestic terrorism? Yeah. Yeah. No, we can't do that.

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Monkey pox? I know what it is. Yeah. Apparently it's becoming a big problem. In New York. Worried about it. Yeah. In the world.

So people are like, uh... Cases of monkey pox. We should probably worry about this. In NYC. Gave it up, didn't it? As of July 22, total of 900 confirmed monkey pox. What the fuck is happening? 839 in New York City.

Someone else is going to take us out. Okay, great. What is monkeypox? What is monkeypox? You get like sores on your face. Oh no. I saw a TikTok of a guy, he like had a Band-Aid on his face,

but not like Nelly, not like cool. Not the cool Band-Aid at that point. Yeah, he had a vertical Band-Aid. You gotta go side on the face. You side on the face, you have to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You go vertical on like the arms and stuff, but you gotta go side on the face.

I think it's like the way that like people walk with their pockets out in prison, like it means different things depending on the verticality of the Band-Aid on the face. Yeah, this one's straight up and down Band-Aid, but he took it off and we revealed a like cigar-sized. Like it looked like someone took a cigar, but yeah, right on his grill piece there.

City officials hit bars and clubs to spread word about monkeypox. Hey, you know, I don't really know what it is. What is monkeypox? I think it's like chickenpox, but like for monkeys. Monkey. I'm honestly, that's what I think it is. I think monkeypox symptoms.

Single genital lesions. Cool. Sores on the mouth or anus. Okay. It says unbuttoned Hawaiian shirts. Oh, fuck. Yeah, no, I don't know. There's like a rash that usually starts on the face

or in your mouth. Ooh. The infection has generally been mild and self-limber than before to death to date. So it doesn't kill you, but it's like not cool. Yeah, you still don't want it. It's icky. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Did you ever have a chickenpox as a kid? Yeah. Never had it. My mom said we had it fucking horribly. I don't know what that means. We had a bad case of chickenpox. Really? I got the vaccine, never got it.

Never got it as a kid. Really? No, apparently it'll get me when I'm older and it'll kill me probably. Well, I think it gets worse as you get older. Yeah, and it loses a cool name like chickenpox and they call it shingles. And it's like, would you rather die

from something called chickenpox or something that grooves are made of? Keith had chickenpox the worst and he has like scars from it. From scratching? I don't know where it's from, but I think there's, is it his face? Yeah, like on his cheek, there's like a little scar.

Really? Yeah, it looks like a little crater or whatever and it was from chickenpox and he got shingles twice. Jesus Christ, this kid can't catch a fucking break. Yeah. Keith, what are you doing? And then he broke his neck and tore his ACL. Broke his neck, tore his ACL.

Broke his nose. If you ask Keith, he's broken every bone in his body. Yeah, he thinks he's mankind. By the way, he's not. Because if he had broken his back, he would be in a wheelchair. I mean, you would think, he did break his neck. He did break his neck.

And he thought he'd be in the ground. If someone breaks their neck, you're like, well, okay. How did he actually break his neck? Because the story was that it happened during a football game. It's true. Is that big red, that kid that we played? I believe.

But I remember we were at a story of park playing a football game. And I remember there was, we were playing like those APR kids. You know, Keith? There was a kid in big red. This is not a joke. People will find this to be probably crazy.

But Keith, when we were younger, was such a savage at football, especially we played tackle football all the time. And he was our best defensive player. Like he was fast and he would just like throw his body around like level people. That's why, because he had no regard. No regard for his life at all.

So when we would play kids from other neighborhoods, we were like, well, definitely we need Keith there. He's the only one who could tackle like the bigger kids. So there was a giant kid at these. And we would usually beat people. So then when you would play them again, they'd have like fucking 30 year olds and we were like 18. And Keith went to go tackle this kid

and he like went like that. Like his head hit his stomach and his head went up and then he like broke his neck. And the kid went down and then we were like, next place like, oh, I hurt my neck. And then we, and then he was like, I got to sit out for this play or whatever. So he was on the sidelines and he's like,

damn, my neck hurts like, you know, whatever. So he kept playing and stuff. And then Keith was complaining about his neck. And I'm like, dude, you probably have like whiplash or something like you're fine, you know? Cause he was like walking around and like being whatever. And he wasn't like freaking out or anything. He's just like, yo, my neck really hurts.

And then he went to the doctor and the doctor was like, you know, you're good and put a fucking soft collar on him. And then he like, his neck started to really hurt for the next like three days. And I went back to the other doctor, like your fucking neck's broken. So the other one doctor was like, you're good. And then the other dog was like, no, your shit is broken.

Well, yeah, that's stupid doctors. Stupid doctors sitting here. Yeah, that's what it was. So then he had kid broke his neck. He wore a neck brace for fucking God knows how long. Keith was Keith the neck for a while. I remember when we went to the 2009 Yankees World Series Parade.

No, it was a Giants Parade. I'm pretty sure at the Yankees one, he also had a neck brace on. I could be wrong. I've never been to a Yankees Parade. Maybe you didn't go, maybe you didn't go, but I know I was there and I know Keith was there. Really?

Yeah, I can almost guarantee. And if I am super wrong, then I have this alternate reality. I remember Keith being at the, were you at the Giants Parade? No, I wasn't at the Giants Parade. Okay. You were a Giants fan and I was just like, you know.

Oh yeah, that's right. You were a Giants fan. But I remember when we went, so like with the parades, for anyone who hasn't had a team win, when the Giants won, we went to Manhattan and they close off the streets. So you can only get on one side of the street, right?

So they like separate the people obviously, so they could go by. But we were there and Keith's wearing a neck brace and he came to the parade anyway. And people are drunk and like whatever. But we were super young and we were just hanging out and there's this drunk guy and he's like, people are cheering and doing whatever.

And then like for some reason felt mad silent. And then he sees Keith with a neck brace. And then he goes, yo, this guy broke his neck to be here. Bro, both sides of the street. Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah. What a fucking crazy. Bro, it's hard to like explain the energy

at one of those ticker tape parades. Yeah. It is so fucking electric. And everyone, like we've said it before, like we spoke about it when we spoke to, when we talked about going to like wrestling events, like everyone is there for the same fucking reason. And there's no like my team, your team, fuck you, fuck me.

Everyone is there. They're in a good mood. Yeah. The fucking, I remember the Yankee ticker tape parade, we got in trouble because we rolled through with, I remember it was like kids from my high school, like a bunch of kids from like the neighborhood. We honestly rolled like 30, 40 people deep.

And we took over a part of the sidewalk and we were taking people and all of us in a circle, throwing them in the air and catching them. And the cops like after, cause the cops couldn't get fucking get to us. After like 30 minutes, the cops came over and were like, you guys need to fucking stop because you're going to kill somebody.

But we had at that point done it so much, we were just like, all right, whatever, we'll cut it because shock that no one got hurt. But yeah, he couldn't catch a fucking break, man. Yeah, no, he's been through a lot. Hopefully he doesn't get monkeypox because that would not be cool. I certainly hope not.

Because I think it's contagious for like weeks. And that would not be cool. No. And how else am I going to record with you? Keith, don't get monkeypox so I can record with your brother. Well, I don't live with Keith anymore. So. That's right.

But you still see him in Paramount. Not if he's got fucking monkeypox. That's right, that's right. You won't. Yeah. All right. Well, another thing I kind of wanted to talk about and we'll see how we feel about this

because I feel like we're going to be on opposite ends of this. Oh boy, here we go. But a woman allegedly, not allegedly, honestly, it's happening. I won't, bro, what the hell are you doing? Just looking my best. I thought you popped your collar for a second.

You tried, but they're pinned down. Please. Keep going. A woman sues man for $10,000 for standing her up on a date. Yeah, interesting. Have you ever been stood up? No, because I'm fucking awesome. Yeah, I've never been stood up, but I've been put down. Not true.

I have been stood up before. I have. Were you like at a restaurant and like, no, she's coming? No, no, no. That whole scene where it's like, you know, can we take this chair, sir? And it's like, no, they're coming. I swear to God.

No, it was eighth grade. And a girl that I had began dating, you know this person, was like, oh, meet me at Queen's Center Mall. And I was like, all right, cool. I met them at Queen's Center Mall. Did you have a cell phone? I had a cell phone.

Okay. That's part of the story. Got there, called them. I swear to God a hundred times. And they just kept like sending it to voicemail. So I was like, oh, what the fuck is going on? And after a while, I just like gave up. I was like, all right, fuck it.

Like this person like, damn. And then I remember. Wait, that was your girlfriend? Yeah. Your girlfriend stood you up? Not for much longer after that. Damn. And afterward, my dad, because this is back when

like you get like your monthly phone bill and it tells you every single call. My dad was like, who the fuck did you fucking call? And I had to explain to him what happened. So yes, I had him and stood up. What'd she say? Like I was like, diddy bopping, you know, with the fucking sneaker heads or some shit.

I don't know. She was diddy bopping with the sneaker heads. She might've been diddy bopping. Yo, now that I think about it, now that you said sneaker heads, my virginity was stood up once. Your virginity? Oh, like you made plans to fuck?

Yeah. Damn. There was this girl who was like, oh, my parents aren't home. And like, I was a virgin. And I was like, and I knew this girl had fucked before. So I was like, I'm about to, you know what I mean? That's the ticket.

Bro, I was so nervous. And then I was like- Who's the someone I know? You know of them. We don't like know them anymore though. Oh. Like they're like a hood legend. A hood legend?

Yeah. Oh, can I get a- Yeah, I'll tell you afterwards. No, just give me a first name initial. N, four letters, nickname. I know it. That's why I said sneaker heads. Yeah.

So her, she was like, yeah, no one's home in my house. You were gonna fuck, dude. I was gonna, right? You were gonna fuck, it wouldn't have been good. She kinda did you a favor. I'll tell you this, she did me a big favor. Because I walked to her house, and when I got there, I was calling her,

and then she just wasn't answering me. Okay. And then I was like, what the fuck? Like, do you say, I had just talked to her. You know what I mean? So she's like, yeah, meet me in my house, like, so I go and I'm outside, I'm calling her, I'm calling her.

And she doesn't pick up and I'm like, all right, whatever, so I went home. And when I got home, I was like, thank God. I was just like, not ready. I was like- You had these old crusty condom in your wallet. Yeah, I was like, so scared. I was like, oh my God, thank God.

Dude. I was intimidated by her. I was like, yeah, this girl's gonna fuck my brains up, probably. By the way, cannot be stressed enough or understated. That was a hood legend. Yeah, she's a legend. She was a hood legend.

Damn, I didn't know that. So I guess we haven't stood up. Fucking women. Yeah, yeah. How dare they did. Dude, I mean, I feel like that's the ultimate stand up when you're thinking about, yo, I'm about to lose my virginity and then they just don't show.

That's when she was like, at her friend's house or something, I'm like, bro, fucking you were talking penis stuff today. Yeah, you can't listen. For a horny teenage boy, you can't talk penis and not be about it. If you're talking penis, you better be fucking following through.

I think it was like 14 at the time too. And no, you were old enough because they didn't come into our lives until like 15, 16. Really? Yeah. I remember because of who that person was friends with. Right. No, but I think I knew her before the other one

that you were talking about. There's no Joey, there's no possible. Wait, is that the one who stood you up to? No. Oh. I was gonna say the crew. No, no, no, I wasn't the crew. No, no, no, trust me.

Yeah. The person that stood me up was someone that we had nick, I don't want to be careful because we talk a lot of stories on here. We nicknamed them? We nicknamed them. And uh. What was the nickname?

I can't say because I don't know if we've, I've said the nickname on here before. I don't know if we said. Eighth grade. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eighth grade. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna text you.

I'm gonna text you right now. Eighth grade. So someone you dated in eighth grade. I'm gonna text you. Do you have initials? The nickname. I texted you the nickname. It's on your phone, a computer douche.

Oh yeah. That's right. Okay, now I know what you're talking about. Now you know who it is. Damn, she stood you up. Stood me up. And I was recently. Bro, no one would understand that.

What the hell are you talking about? No, we might have said this nickname and story before. No way. We might have. I say a lot of shit on this show. Yeah, yeah. But I was talking to Becca about this recently. Before like my current wife,

I had only been on like one or two like dates. Have I been on a, I've been on a date, obviously. No, but like I'm, I was thinking like there was a, someone I knew in college, a girl I knew in college. And I said to her like, I want to bring you to dinner. Right. How many dinner dates have you done in your life? Well, like I, I consider like with Becca,

I consider like those dinner dates. Yeah. I'm talking about like. With like meeting someone and being like, I wonder how this is going to go. No, like before, I would say like 23 and before that. Like have you ever done like a dinner date? Maybe.

Like, I only remember one. Maybe. Honestly, maybe none. Possibly one or two. Yeah. I don't know how many like dates I've done. Because it's different. Like this is the thing that people. When you're a kid, you just walk around.

Not only just that. Yeah. Like it's different growing up in a city because like dating, dating and like, like let's use the example of where I live now in Tom's River. Like it would need to be like, I'll pick you up, we'll go to the movies and then grab a bite to eat. Yeah. That was not what it was for us.

It was like, yo, I'll meet you at 48 street park. We'll hang with the friends and then like during that we'll go to the fucking deli and I'll buy you a slushie. Or like come over to the swing set. Yes, exactly. I've had mad swing set dates. I've had swing set dates. I've had, let's walk to the deli dates.

Yeah. You know, I've had like, you know, like I'll walk you home dates. Oh, big time walk on dates. It would like, it wasn't like, yo, like. Walking home was probably like the day. I'll pick you up and we'll go to this fucking restaurant. Right.

Didn't happen. I remember going on a date once when I was like 22 and I was, it was actual dinner and like we had wine. I also didn't order it cause I didn't know what the hell I was doing. Whoa dude. Yeah. I think.

I thought it went extremely well. Never heard from her again. Yeah. The person like, I was in college and I brought this person in, in where I went to college there was this like chain restaurant, kind of like a Friday. It's called Wood and Tap. Not the worst food in the world.

But I had brought her to Wood and Tap. Yeah. And uh. Wood. Wood. Mm. Tap. Tap meaning beer, wood meaning.

Wood. Got it. But she didn't, either I didn't like follow up enough to like, see if it would go anywhere and or she didn't like really. Bro, I was head over heels for this girl. You had a heartbroken dude. That's why you're an incel.

It was, it was. I figured it out. God. You learn something new every day. No, but I had a, so there was, there was one time, the first time we hung out, we like, I brought some friends, she brought some friends. That's what it is.

You might have been there. Uh-oh. Remember we did, you were there. Oh, I think I know what it is. Yeah. You have a picture of me like. My hair grew high. Yes.

Yeah. We went to karaoke. That's right. Went to a bar that day. That's right. And then like. That was a good time. You have a picture of me kissing her on the street.

Boy, you can just put that out there for the world to know, huh? That I've kissed a girl. Okay. And then we went to, we went to dinner like. I also have a video of you guys knuckle deep in each other. No, you have a video of us singing. What song was that?

Face down by the red jumpsuit apparatus. I don't know if I have that. I think you do. I'll have to check. Anyway. So knuckle deep. By the way, I said you guys knuckle deep in each other. Yeah.

Simultaneous. Yeah. But like the next week we went out on a date me and that girl. And I thought we had a great time. We had a great time that night. We did. We did have a good time.

And then we just never went anywhere. But probably could have been because of me. Probably. Like I think, I don't think that I was like. I probably also was another one of those things of like, I didn't like follow up properly or something. Yeah. So you know.

I remember. I was just a young man. It was probably my fault too with the girl that I took on the date during college because like I was like, I remember, I was one of those fucking douche bags that had the idea that it was like, no girlfriends in college, no fucking relationship.

And then I did it at a point and it was a bad thing. But. Yeah. But at that point, I remember just being like, you know, so fucking just like, you know, whatever. Like just trying to be fucking cool guy. Yeah. And never worked.

Was it a good day? You had a good day? From what I remember, like I had, I had known, like we had known each other and like been like, we had mutual friends and like, I would see this person around campus and, you know, they were cool and like we'd laugh and joke around and stuff like that.

It wasn't like we had never interacted. You'd laugh. Yeah. Like it was, haha. I know. Was sub. Yeah, exactly. You know.

Was sub. They were in a sorority. I was in a fraternity. It's like, you see this person a lot. And I, and at one point I think I just said like, I'd love to bring you out for, you know, dinner. Right. Which is so funny in theory because one,

I was BROKE. Yeah. I also brought her to like a chain restaurant, which is like the ultimate like chain, you know, like fucking like a chillies star move. You know what I mean? Like I'm going to pick you up and we're going to Chili's and you can get a lava cake.

That's it. Yeah. You know, like wait till you taste their lava cake. Like the lava cake at fucking Chili's didn't get to blow my mind. Yeah. But have you ever done like a coffee date? Once.

Yeah. And it was with a girl that was an ex at the time, but like I was like, Big guys. We were trying to rekindle it. You were trying to throw some fire on it. I was trying to see if there was something we could bring back.

Got it. But I think I perfected clearly dating when it came to my now wife. Now I know like what it is, you know, like it's little cute things too. What was your first date with your wife? Was. You guys don't hear a funny story actually

about Frankie and his wife. Oh God fuck. This was going to be in your best man's speech. Oh, now I need to hear it. So the first time that I met Becca was when I first got that apartment. Oh, and that was the first time I hung out with her in person.

Oh, really? Yeah. All right. So the first time that they met even in person, we went to my apartment and then we were going, we were going out, we went to the Diddy. So we go to this bar and we're like dancing and stuff and whatever.

And at one point Frankie has his back turned towards me and she's talking to like some of our other friends or whatever. So I like tap him on the shoulder and he looks at me and it's loud in there. So you can't really hear anything. And I go, you know, she's, she's pretty cool. But he couldn't hear what I was saying.

So he goes, uh-oh fuck. So you go, you're still dancing. And you're like, and you go, I don't know why she's interested in me either. Yeah. And I go, that's not what I said. Like, you know what I'm feeling to this day, I feel that. But that's, that's what happened.

That was the first time that, that I, I was like, yo, she's really, she's really nice, cool. So we had, we had, uh, you know, kind of talked, you know, she, I was living in Milford at the time. She was living in Jersey. I remember being at your apartment and being like, and you were on your phone or like Snapchat or something. And you're like, oh yeah,

I just started talking to this girl. Yeah. And I mean, we started talking. And the first time we hung out was we did the bar crawl, which we call the Astoria Alleyway Plunge. Oh, damn, damn, damn, damn. We've tried to find, the ditty is actually a nice bar, but we tried to go to the shittiest bars and stuff.

I thought we did pretty well. We like- We like purposely went out of our way though sometimes. We did like Pomeroy, Diddy, Bonnie, no, yes we did. And cause we would only go to the places that Pete had accounts at because he would come through with like three rounds of drinks and it was on his company. I thought that we did like,

we did like Judy and Punch. Yeah, those were- There were other shitty places along the way that we stopped at. Yeah. Like we stopped at Rockies, like after like Bonnie. Tavern, I think, wasn't it? Tavern, yeah.

Like, remember- There was a brew house. Brew house on 30th and 31st. But that was the first night. And she says, she was like, the first night we hung out, she didn't consider it like our first date cause it was like everyone,

it was like fucking- Yeah, all our friends. Cable clade of people. Yeah. And then the second time we hung out, I took her out to dinner. You know, we had a nice time. We then also went out to the bars,

but like we had like time to ourselves beforehand. Cool. And yeah, since then I've learned, like she had, cause in my head, I had never been like taught dating. Yeah, no. Because like my parents didn't even stay together, let alone date.

One time my mom sunned me on this. She was like, I told her, I was like, oh yeah, I'm going out with this girl. I was in eighth grade. And I was like, yeah, I'm going out with this girl. Of course I dating in eighth grade. Oh, yeah, definitely. And my mom just goes, where are you going out?

The bus stop? I was like, shit. Damn, I'm the fuck, damn. I'm trying. She flamed your ass. Yeah, she fucking nailed me. Yeah, and dating when we were kids was like go see a movie together.

I heard you say that your mom nailed you. Yeah, why did I say that? I don't know. It was like go to the movies and then like grab a slice of pizza. I didn't pull off the person home. Dating when you're younger is just walking. Yeah, in the city, that's what it was.

And it was just like spending that time with people. I went on a date. I went on a double date as my first date with some girl once with Dominic and his now wife. And then me and her, this girl were like, oh, we'll hang out together. We literally met up and just walked around in a part of a story that I didn't grow up in.

So I don't know why we were walking around in that part. And then I would just leave her videos on her Facebook wall. And that was like our dating, basically. And then we broke up because like her grandfather died and she wanted me to go to the wake, but it was like way too early. And I felt weird meeting her family

under that circumstance. So I like made up a lie. I'm dating your daughter. Oh, I think I had like work too. Like I couldn't go because I had like work or something. And then she was just like, oh, family is so important to me. And she was like, nah, dead of my shit. I was like, all right.

That makes sense. Actually, that's funny. If her grandpa didn't die, dude, maybe. Dominic had actually brought me on a blind date once. It was, we were in like- Blind? Yeah. We were early, early, early in high school.

It's funny, now that I talk about this stuff, this stuff comes back to me. But it was like early in high school. It might even have been middle school. And he hit me up and he was like, yo, listen. Like you are, cause I don't know if you remember this. And I wear this with a bit of a badge of honor. Our friends would always say like, yo,

if I were to bring anyone with me as a wingman, it would be you because like you can just talk about anything. And thank you, Dominic, and other friends. And he was like, yo, like I, there's this girl that I want to like hang out with. And she's going to be at this place and she has her friend coming and like, her friends is going to be leeching off us.

Like, could you come so I can like, and I was like, yeah, no fucking problem. I had no idea what she looked like. No clue. This person's name, he gave me a time and a place and he said, be there. That's exciting. And I was like, all right.

And of all places, it was fucking Rotana, yikes, which is for those of you guys don't know, it was like this huge hookah lounge, small in size, massive in popularity and dark. And like, it's like, you can't see anything in there. Yes. And it's stunk. Well, it was a hookah bar. Well, like, but like, it just like,

it was like a hookah bar that had never been clean and had poor ventilation. And he was just like, yo, be there at like six or seven. And I was like, all right, no fucking problem. It was toward the end of the school year. So like, it was summer. So like, no one gave a shit about life. Yeah, you were feeling it.

And this was quite possibly the worst. He was like, him and this girl were like talking vibing, you know, kind of laughing along. And this other girl was this Polish girl who was just like, such a fucking like. Downer. Not, no, not a downer, but like one of those people that like the moment you meet them,

you know how in like reality TV shows, they meet someone that like this connection is so strong right now. Like I'm feeling it internally. Like one of those people, like, oh my God, like you like baseball. I can't believe that. I've watched baseball.

Like she was really into you. Yeah, like finding things to be into me about. And at the end of the night, they, I think Dominic had said bye to the girl. I don't even think they kissed. I think it was just like, all right, like, you know, Dominic's like, all right, later champ. Yeah.

And the girl like was like, all right, bye. Whoa, try to kiss your shit. I was like, no, thank, no, thank you. No, you didn't say that. I did. I said, no, thank you. I was like, a girl wants to go kiss you and you said, no, thanks.

I said, no, thank you. I also was not attracted to her. Didn't think they were appealing to me. You know, thanked her? That's crazy. I said, no, no, no, thank you. One time a girl tried to ask. By the way, never saw that person again.

Yeah, I don't even know what you're talking about. But that was, that's pretty bad. I know thank you. I don't know if that's worse or better than me telling a girl one time, cause she was like, you want to make out? And I was like, I gave that up for Lent. Cause it was during Lent.

Yeah, I'm sure you really gave it up for Lent. I didn't. She was also standing next to another kid, Pete, that we know. Okay. Little Pete. Yeah. Who lost his mind when I said that.

I was like, bro. No, he lost his mind in being like, he knew I was lying. Oh, okay. So he was like, son. And like right in this girl's face, being like, oh my God. You said that.

Yeah. And then he asked to burn down in your pops' basement. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know exactly. I know exactly. Yeah.

But I got to say, of the times I've been stood up, which I guess has been once, I wouldn't sue them for $10,000, bro. Yeah, $10,000, bro. Also, maybe you could sue if you're standing up your virginity. So maybe I'd be. You would have been entitled to some compensation.

Yeah. Damn, there needs to be like those like, you know, Seleno and Barnes commercials. So like, have you been stood up? Maybe, you know, you could win some money. Did you plan to have underage sex when you were also underage and get stood up? Thanks for adding that.

Thank you. I just want to make sure I put that in there. Did you feel like your balls were engorged and you needed to quote unquote, crank a load out in order to hang with the boys? Well, I've got something to tell you. You might be entitled to financial compensation. She said that the person didn't show

and she left on her mother's birthday and her mom had just passed away. So that's why she's suing. Ooh, that's tough. Cause like, you could sue for anything really. It's like emotional distraughtness. Yeah, I don't know. It's not a word.

We had a date, one date and nothing else after that. And now I'm being sued for $10,000. The man added, I don't see how this is gonna go any further. I think this was a waste of your time. Honestly, shooting a shot though. She's trying to get that. She's trying to get paid, dog. You can't be upset about it.

10 Gs for a date? That's an expensive date, dude. I mean, I'm sure you've spent 10 Gs on a date. Literally not even close. $10,000, Frank. Joey, I know you've spent $10,000 on a date. I don't think I've ever spent $10,000 in one shot. That's also a lie.

I was gonna say that fucking thing on your wrist is probably saying the opposite. Also those flights to Greece. They weren't $10,000. They were like 3,400 each. No. Oh. No, no.

Regardless. I actually don't know. I'm starting to think that maybe I should sue you for stuff. Don't? I would lose that so hard, dude. You guys got dope lawyers. I'd bury you in paperwork.

What do people say? Yeah, it's like the paperwork alone. You'll never work in this town. Yeah. The paperwork alone. Yeah, I don't know. Like, it doesn't make sense. I would think that $10,000 is a bit steep,

but steep for a date, dude. The suffering that women have had to go through through this country and as a result of the standards that have placed on them from men that feel that they can control what they look like, smell like, drink like, everything. I think that that might be actually fair.

Smell like. I also said drink like. Taste like? I wanna go back to you getting stood up for your virginity. That hurts, dude. Yeah, no, but I was excited because I was like, I was kind of relieved.

I was like, oh, thank God. Because I was so nervous. How did like, I wanna know about you almost being a kid and having sex. How did like, was it like one of those like classic, like let's play 21 questions. No, I think we were like talking on like aim or something.

And she like, it didn't, it wasn't like an appointment where we're like, yeah, we're gonna, you're gonna come over and we're gonna fucking. I also, I think was going there being like, I'm gonna try my best not to do this cause I'm scared. Oh, well Joey, I've seen your dick as a child when I was also a child. I wasn't afraid of my dick.

I was afraid of your dick. I was. Because like, I would hope that you'd go in there fucking. It's like, you know, like everyone was worried about Nick Foles in the post season. Like we were worried for about you a little bit, you know? Like we didn't know what was gonna happen. We didn't know if you had to work in dick or not.

What the fuck? What we didn't know? This is before YouTube. Yeah. Now you got that YouTube gorge. Oh my God. But, yeah, so I went there and. It was hot.

That was that. It's been hot in here. Have we told virginity stories on this? Virginity? Like losing our virginity? I'm sure we have at some point. You were known as the Hazen Street Hammer. That's where that ends.

Jesus. I was just asking a general question, Frank. Don't fucking open the floodgates if you don't want a little bit of water in the basement. You know? I honestly, right now, I'm staring at you and I don't remember who you lost your virginity to. Good, let's keep it that way.

Was it in this state? What kind of a question is that? What other fucking state would it be in? I'm not telling this story. I don't remember. Why do I not remember? Because you're an idiot. I need to know.

Well, I'll tell the story off screen. Yeah, but. I think we can wrap it up, but one day we'll do virginity stories. We need to have an episode where you just get me obliterated, because that's when I'll say whatever the hell I want. Perfect.

We should do another power hour on Patreon one of these days. We should, we should, but we got some things to do, but patreon.com slash the basement yard. If you guys don't know, that's where you get us more. You get more of us

and more of us unabashedly, just ridiculous. Patreon.com slash the basement yard. We actually just had our buddy, Shmetti-Rubbs on an episode last week. And then we also got old episodes that people can go and they sign up for that second tier. Watch all of them. We got the power hour episode.

We got Joey's 30th birthday episode, I think. That might be a weekly. We got Joey's the three, you know, there's so much on there. And we might do another power hour episode where we just get ridiculously drunk, make it easy for ourselves. You know how this stuff works.

Go check it out. Patreon.com slash the basement yard. We're figuring out what we can do for our next goal. And once we know, we will tell you guys. And yeah, thank you for the support. Yep. And you guys go follow the show at the basement yard on TikTok and Instagram.

And go cop some of that. Everything bagel hot sauce, which is out now. You can go to theheatness.com and it'll be right there. Or you could type it into the search bar. Everything bagel hot sauce. And the Instagram handle is at secret handshake foods. Go cop a bottle.

Let me know how it is. It ships in like two days. So you're good. Frankie, what are you doing? Making my pecs pop. And that is all. We'll see you guys next time.