The Basement Yard - #361 - Vabbing: Attracting Men With Your Own "Scent"

Episode Date: August 29, 2022

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Welcome back to the basement yard, Frank. How's it going, buddy? It's going. I'm here. Isn't it? It appears to be going. Yes. I have switched my, I no longer play for the Yankees.

I play for the Mariners now. Oh. I'm moving out to Seattle. Oh. I'm not going to Seattle. I hear it's a very depressing place. Yeah, it like rains all the time. It rains all the time.

I'm actually going in October. You're going in October to Seattle? Yeah. Well, we're not staying in Seattle, but we're like doing hikes and stuff. Oh. Yeah. I mean, Seattle doesn't really, I heard it just rains.

I hear it rains, and people over there kill themselves a lot. It's not a joke. I don't mean, apparently Seattle has like a high rate of, would you start at the episode? I don't, I'm sorry. It's 7 AM for some people. It is 7 AM for some people. Most people probably.

Yeah. No, apparently. They have a high suicide rate. A suey weight. And I remember hearing about that from a really reputable source. I watched a documentary on Kurt Cobain, because he was from Nirvana.

We're going to jump off of the topic of real fast. You don't want to jump. You don't want to talk about Kurt Cobain blowing his brains out? Allegedly. Allegedly. What was her name? Courtney Cox? Not Courtney Cox.

No, it's not her. What's her name from Friends? Courtney Love. No, that's Courtney Cox. Yes, Courtney Love. Yeah, yeah. Bro, growing up with the last name Cox, you had to be rough. Dude, Cox?

Gay? Gay, yeah, okay. What are their last names? Or I mean, people named Richard. Yeah, Dick. That's Bullshit, though. Why did we get Dick from Richard? I don't know.

That's bullshit. I don't believe that. I think that was someone that met a Richard, and they were like, you're fucking Dick. Yeah. And they just let it fit. But for everyone out there, don't worry. We're not going to talk about penises this entire episode.

We're going to talk about vaginas. We are. We have a big vagina episode. Listen, we have to honor the sponge of the earth. And we have to. Frankie's been calling vaginas sponges, and I can't. He actually said before we started, why don't we call, wait, what did you say?

Why aren't we calling them sponges? Why aren't we calling them sponges? And I'm like, what is it? I just, I think that. What are they soaking up? I think that they're not necessarily soaking. I just, we often talk, and we don't always say vagina. We say, like, bong.

Yeah, we make noises. I said, bong, and I heard sponge. Sponge, yes. And then I thought more about it, and I was like, all right, let's be practical here. A sponge is an absorbent material. Porous. Porous.

Mostly. Can be rough on top. It can, when they have that little, when they have the little scratchy bristly pad on top. You need, well, of course, you need it for friction. You need it rubbing clean. Yeah. And then.

They get really wet. They do. If you, if you mash them. If you, well, hold on. I didn't go that way yet. Yeah, I was just saying. But no, they do. They retain moisture.

Yeah. And I just, you know, in theory, like you can call a dick. And they clean. They clean. They clean themselves, kind of. They do. It's like a self-cleaning thing. Thing, I think.

Yeah. But sponges aren't self-cleaning. You have to add something. Well, well, when you get soap, and it's like, it kind of, it never, because do they get dirty? I think they do. I don't know. I do know that, like, with vaginas,

because, you know, let us tell you, you guys, to straight men, cisgendered, by the way, tell you about vaginas. I think they do get dirty. Vaginas, no, yeah, they do. The outside, the outside. No. Well, the inside, yeah, they can get some yeast and going.

Yeah, you know, like, it's not necessary. It's like a fence. You got your outside fence. And then you're in, you got your yard. Of course. And then you can go in the house. Right, yeah. Every now and then, you need to clean up the yard.

And also, there's a lot of stuff that gets on the fence. Yeah. The fence. Dogs pee on it. People put, like, posters on it. Dogs do pee on fences, not on a lady fence. I'm sure there's a dog that's pissed on a vagina before. I'm sure that's happened.

I'm sure it has happened in the history of existence. Yeah, like, in, like, Ohio or something. Why is that where you're going? It just feels like a place where dogs are pee on a vagina. I'm saying Florida. That's also a good one. Probably a better one, honestly. Florida's more bloody than pee pissy, yeah.

What are we doing? I don't know. It's good. Let's not stop. No, we're going to re- You know what? Give me a little bump. Give me a little bump.

A little bump where you got over there. Oh, OK. Give me a little bump. You love this stuff. Guys, go to secrethanshake.shop or go to theheatness.com to get a bottle of the everything bagel hot sauce. We are very close to selling out, if not already, sold out by the time this goes out.

Yeah, I also haven't eaten. So this is my breakfast and my lunch at this point in time. Hey, man, life is rough. But yes, lady sponges. This is a big episode about lady sponges. Well, first, we have to start this episode by talking about the most popular way to attract a man, I guess.

Having a sponge. No, not having a vagina. But it's this new thing called vabbing that. Well, hold on. What's vabbing? It's like when you smear your fluids from your purse all over your ears and neck to attract men like we're fucking animals.

Well, we are, first of all. Well. So hold on, hold on, hold on. I've never walked into a room like this. Oh, because it's like a little dab of cologne. Of v of vagina. So with the vagina dab. Yeah.

I thought, instantly, for some reason, when people dab with weed, wax, where they're like, yo, put this melting wax. Yeah, the smoking vagina stuff. Don't smoke fucking earwax. But so women will. They'll dig into their purse. And then they'll create some fluid and then take it out

and create. Well, they can't just. I mean, sometimes they can get some. You keep the lawn for the most part. Moist, it's a well watered. I'm just saying. The irrigation system is built into the woman, Joe. OK, so Jack and Jill go down to the well

and they fetch a pail of water. First of all, they go up a hill. That's true. And then they put it behind their ears and it's supposed to attract men. But I've never, honestly, walked into a room and be like, it smells like pussy in here, I'm horny. You know what I mean?

Hold on, wait a sec. You've smelled a vagina in a room? I've never smelled a vagina in a room. I've had to been looking down the barrel a little bit. And then I'm like, now I can get something. This is really tough because I want to navigate this with grace and great aplomb. Frankly, however, it's a little difficult.

We're past grace, baby. No, but like, you know when like you smell like your mom's cooking and you're like, yo, that's my mom's cooking. That's where I first got it. Careful. I'm not I'm not talking about your mom's vagina smell. Don't worry about it. Not yet.

We'll get to that. But like you smell your mom's cooking and you're like, that's that's that's a that's a that's a fresh. It takes me back on the child. Exactly. And then you'll be out and then you'll smell a similar smell and be like, that that's my mom's sauce. Right.

I smell that. That has happened. Like I've never been like, you know, like with with cooking or were we talking about just with cooking? Yeah. OK. Yeah. But with bunjai nuns.

Yeah. You know. So like I've been out and been like, you see it smells it smells like pussy in here. It smells like no, no, no. But I won't say it smells like pussy. Like I won't like I won't look in the room and be like, whose vagina was out?

Yeah. You know, like who's got the who's got the someone. There's a there's a naked woman standing in front of a fan. Yeah. Why? Who's got the mothballs out? You know what I mean? Like that's not.

But I've smelled things and been like, that's eerily similar to the smell of a vagina. In some cases, not all the same. You know, frogs and toads. Yeah. Don't you fucking dare with this. But it's like, it's like, you know what it reminds me of?

Remember those fucking shit berries that we would smell the cum berries? Oh, yeah, they smell like jizz. They smell like jizz. It's not jizz. You're not walking around going who jizzed on the sidewalk. Although New York City can't be ever. I am thinking that though.

Whenever I smell those berries, I'm like, that smells exactly like ejaculate. Well, that's what I'm saying. But your first month, like your mind doesn't first go to. Someone has come in the street. It goes to, oh, where are the berries? Well, my first interaction with those berries, I was like, there's cum all over this place.

But then I was like, oh, OK, it's got to be these berries. And now I can associate that if I'm outdoors. But like I said, I've never walked into a room and been like, yo, there's fucking vagina like in abundance in here. Have you ever walked into a room and been like, someone recently just like bashed their bumping uglies together?

Oh, like, you definitely smell sex. There's a sex smell. Because it's like a thick air. It's a thick air. It is a moisture and humidity to it. Yeah. And there's a funk. There's a musk.

It's like if you were to leave like Gorgonzola cheese out overnight in the heat. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, it's not sick. So they're taking it. Just kind of getting the waterworks going. There was a TikToker named Mandy Lee who. Replugged.

There you go. Yeah. Apparently she's the one who started this. Involved smearing. I don't like the term smearing fluid, by the way. Absolutely disgusting. Smearing fluid behind the ears and neck. Smearing discharge, Joey would rather them say.

No, that's even worse. Jesus discharge. Proponents claim it increases the chance of attracting men by spreading their pheromones. Chemicals made by the body to attract mates in some animals. I don't think that we're those types of animals, to be honest. I like a nice smelling woman. But I don't need to smell your vagina.

I think the idea here is that they're trying to tap into our primitive nature. Which, hey, I don't know if that's a good idea. Yeah, slippery, slow. Very slippery. Through history, men not known to be the most accepting of the answer, no. Also, have you seen the Discovery Channel?

Yes. Have you seen the Discovery Channel when you're rubbing your vagina on your ear? Yeah, come on. Jesus, this is kind of long. I don't. This is the thing. If I didn't know, I'd be like, what's that?

Because again, I assume the odor is unique to the individual. Yeah, but is it like a pleasing odor? You know what I'm saying? If I didn't know it was there and I smelled it, I'd be like, is someone eating raw chicken? Yeah, but. Like, what is that? Someone eating raw chicken.

Again, the smell is different for every situation. Oh, right, but yo, let's be honest here. Let's just say it how it is. There's no vaginas in the world that probably, like we have now been conditioned that like you go to, you hug a woman and you get right there, right? You get the next. And you're expecting like a perfume smell,

like a fruit and like a, you know, something. A Japanese cherry blossom Victoria's secret. There's not, vaginas don't smell like that. Well, I think that's not necessarily true and or fair. But there are some, there are some people that take great pride. Of course. As men do as well.

Now, men are like, bro, like my balls need to smell good. What, what? But that's the thing. What are we doing? I'm just saying the natural smell. I'm not saying like, obviously people take care of themselves and there's wipes, there's sprays, there's all kinds of stuff. Yeah, all kinds, but I'm saying a natural smell.

Like it's not going to smell like a perfume. You know what I'm saying? Which is what you're expecting. So you go in, you hug a woman and you got all types of stuff in back there. Yeah. You're going to be like, what? Like you'd be confused.

Like what am I smelling? I would be a little confused. I think I, if I didn't know what it was, I'd be like, what's going on? But I'm thinking back to like, cause I always often, you know, think back to my time as a teenager. Of course.

Bro, if I was a teenager and a girl hugged me, it was like, by the way, I just rubbed my vagina on my ear. I'd be the horniest person on the planet. Yeah. If you tell me that, I'm in. Reference that you have female parts. It was over. It was, well, not over.

Also have female parts. Not over. If you just have female parts. It was just going to get started. Right, exactly. You know. I saw a bra strap when I was younger and I was like, I'm fucking so wet.

If you would saw a bra strap and the girl was like, why are you looking at my nipples? You were way hornier. Wait, what? If like they acknowledged that behind the strap. Oh yeah. The bra strap was used to contain nipple bags. Yeah.

You would have been like way hornier. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, so you confirm that you have nipples? Yeah. And I'm like, hell yeah. Even though I know you got them. Yes. But if you talk about them, I'm like, yeah.

Yes. But also weird double standard, don't talk about too much. You know what I mean? And I'm not saying it's right. I'm saying that there was a weird double standard back then. We're like, if a girl were to like get kicked in the vagina and they'd be like, ah, my pussy.

We'd be like, yo, chill. Like bro, chill out, dude. That was an oddly specific example. I feel like something happened to you. I think I have heard that. And again, it's a double standard that's, I don't believe in now. A woman's gotten kicked right in the pussy, you're saying?

Dude, I once saw a girl like, you know how like in wrestling, they'd fall off the ladder and like they'd like laying on the rope? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw a girl once hit her vagina in a way. Pelvic area, I should say. I shouldn't assume it was the whole of the vagina.

You mean pubic area? Yeah. Not pelvic, that would be the hip. Pel, pubic, yes, that's what I mean. Sorry. And it was like, like it sounded like bone on fucking bone. Wait, what did she hit on the pole?

I think it was something similar to a pole. And she was like, ah, my pussy. I was like, I don't even feel right. Wait, it sounded like, bro, it sounded like a pussy bone. Honestly, close your eyes. This is what it's, I'm not even kidding. This is what it sounded like. That's a hard pussy bone.

Bro, think about it, bro. There's not a lot of padding down there. No, it's not. For women, I feel bad for them. But like. I mean, I think they're all right. I feel bad for us. Yeah, they're cool.

To get kicked in the balls, it's over. I don't know, dude. I obviously, we can't. No, it hurts way more to get kicked in the balls than the balls. How do you know, Joe? Tell me about the time you were kicked in your vagina.

Because balls are sensitive and you could beat the hell out of a vagina, dude. Well, you could, you could do good stuff to the inside of a vagina. I assume you can hit them. You can hit the outside. Yeah, when you're doing skin on skin, Joe. Boy, what a day already this has become.

But when you're hitting the outside with like a blunt object. With a dull bat. Like if you, if you were to, if you were to like land a spread leg on a, on a railing. Yeah. With a vagina and with balls. Balls takes the cake. Really?

Yeah, dude. I feel like balls, you have a chance to get out of the way. Yeah, but then you would get like soft gooch tissue. Soft gooch tissue would suck. That is kind of. They have like bone structure down there. Yeah, that's the part that I'm saying would hurt, bro.

Imagine like hitting, you know, like your elbow on something. Like that's what it's like hitting, but like straight for their pubi area. I mean, I, I think I would rather hit like land right on my back. Let us talk to you guys about how this feels. Again, two men.

No, come on, man. Not a single. Give us the balls. Not a single natural vagina in this room. Remember when it was like, yo, if you punch a girl in the tits, she'll get breast cancer or whatever the fuck? I don't remember that.

It was like, yo, don't punch girls in tits because. Well, yeah, probably don't do that anyways. Well, I was, I don't know if it will directly lead to breast cancer, probably not good though. I was, you know, I was taking it how I could get. If I could punch this thing, I'll do it. But like, I'm showing up to get in an elbow and a boob was like accidentally like, what the hell?

My bad. Bro, growing up, we like would like go off on each other's fucking beanbag, like on each other's balls. Me and you punch each other's in the tits. I'm not saying necessarily me and you, but like our friend group, sack taps were, you know, a normal thing. Yeah, I had swollen balls for a whole summer

because what? You had swollen balls. Not like consistently, but people would hit my balls and then like it felt like they were swollen. Well, it hurts. Yeah. It gets right in the stomach. Yeah, no.

And that was another thing too. Because back then I had, I had like a, some IBS or whatever the fuck going on. Back then. Some gastro stuff. Not now. Yeah. No, honestly, I'm so much better with it now.

Yeah. But. Eat a gyro. Dude, I ate mad gyros in Greece. Yeah. And you told me you pissed out of your ass when I got home, but I didn't have the flu. You kept it.

Okay. You kept it a good over that. But for whatever reason, when I was younger, if someone hit me in the balls or like during sports, I could hit in the balls, I have to shit within five minutes. Yeah, that's weird. Yeah.

My body was like, oh my God, what is this poop? And I'm like, no, I just got hit. And he's like, no, it's poop. And I'm like, no, he's like, yes. See, mine feels like a stomach ache. And like it goes up into my stomach and it feels like I haven't eaten in like weeks. That's what, but I get the same kind of feeling.

But then I think it just like pulls poop down with it. That's weird. Honestly, I, you have to get a colonoscopy done because you have talked enough about like, you being like, yeah, coffee, pee out of my butt. No, that doesn't happen. I've never said that because that's something that's never happened to me.

Oh, sorry, sorry, protein. Protein blows me up, yeah. Protein. But I don't, I don't, I don't have diarrhea. I just take big dumps. Yeah, I'm not, I'm not saying what the, I'm not asking the consistency or, you know, like. Do you want to know more detail?

No. Okay. But okay, listen, I'm not going to give people advice. I'm not sure if this babbing thing is smart. Yeah, I don't know that I want to like. Or sanitary. Well, that's the thing. I actually pulled up this article and it says that

doctors warn dangerous things can happen if you VAB. Well, I assume the transmission of, you know, venereal diseases or STDs or something like that. Well, not STD. I mean, they're not using a dick to rub the fluid back there. They're just like using their hands. Yeah, but if they have one.

No, no, no. Oh, I didn't even think about that. No, the reason is like you can just cause more infections. I mean, if you're digging into your purse without washing your hands or like, you know what I'm saying? You're walking the streets of New York and you're like, oh my God, I got a date and you just start fucking, you know,

just start, you know, going to town. First of all, people will ask questions. Yeah. Also like, they said that a bacteria on women's fingers can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease. You know, this could lead to scarring and the fallopian tubes. So you're just trying to attract a man but you're actually destroying your tubes.

Let me ask you, the girl that started doing this, have you seen what she looks like? Is there a picture of her? No. Look her up. I would be interested to know if this is a relatively good looking person. Why?

Like what kind of experiment that they ran to prove that this works or does not work. Hold on, there's a TikTok here that has rules of how to bat. All right, let's hear it. First one. Watch your hands. It's a good rule.

Watch your hands. Shower or bathe beforehand. Smart, very smart. Which, I mean, okay. I feel like, oh, and then wash hands before and after. Yes. That's the next rule. Also smart, yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Then the next rule is if you go to the gym, wipe down gym equipment before and after use. Yeah, this is just general hygiene Yeah, what are we talking about? I'm all on board with this. As of right now, following this, I have Vabbed, I guess. Yeah, like if you go to the gym,

oh, they mean like if you did it, maybe do that. But also you have to do that. But you also wash your hands. Yeah, I don't know. Next one. Do not let the areas you Vabbed touch other surfaces and people. Well, that's tough.

Because if you're Vabbing behind your ears and you're going in for a hi, I mean, you're not really kissing necks. Bro, close enough, dude. Yeah, I mean, you're getting close. Close enough if your ears touch. Wait, I've never gotten behind someone's ear, I don't think. I don't either, but like my mouth

has gotten close to the ear. Yeah. Because you think about it when you go see people, you're like, oh, I'm going to something. What was that? Multisum thing? You know what I mean? Yeah.

And like I've given some pretty aggressive cheek kisses. It's like, yeah. Do you aim towards the cheek? I just go straight. It really depends. I go like this. I do the, hey, I'm on my school, you know. But there have been times where I've grabbed face

and it's like, whoa, dude. Yeah. I've been drunk most of the time. With men? Man. It feels like you would do that to a man. Absolutely. Yeah.

Anyway, next one. If you're on your period, just wait. That feels like it goes without saying. Yes, that's right now, I am honestly on board. Listen, we're just trying to Vab. No one's putting on more pain. Yeah. I was going to say, when you are on your period

doing it, then it's becoming like a, like you're going out hunting. Yeah. I feel, yeah. It's like, you know, you need some like tribal music in the background, like ding, dum, dum, dum, ding, ding. Yeah, exactly. That felt racist.

No. If you have, if you have an STD or any spreadable diseases, do not Vab. Okay. Honestly, I'm on board with you. So far, the Vabbing seems legit. Any unusual smell or bad odor, do not Vab and go see a doctor. Well, how would you know that if you didn't?

Well, if it smells like shit, or if it smells like, remember when you were younger, it was like, yo, her shit smell like fish. Yeah, Piscato. Ew, it's shit smell like fish. Yeah, there were kids. And I'm like, I've never ran into a fishy vagina in my life. Yeah, I don't think I have either, thank God.

I have no, I'll even say this. I have never ran into a vagina. I've never come across a vagina where I was like, where I thought there was something bad going on. Okay. Like the smell, the feel, the not, like everything was like, I've never had a bad experience with a vagina.

It's always been like, cool. A1, great A. I was just like, yeah, I was just like, well, it's because you've been, for the last however years in your life, since you've been sexually active, you go to like, you know, like private dinners and like apartments and like Michelin star restaurants.

Well, that's not true, Frank. You know, I'm not, I would say, you know, if you're, if you're eating foie gras, you're probably gonna be looking at it too. I like duck liver, I think. You know what, it's funny you say foie gras because when I was on my flight back home from Paris,

they served that and it was disgusting. Okay. Yeah, but it wasn't like regular. Wasn't good. It was like, it looked like they made a soap out of it. Like it was like a little, I was like, I'm gonna. I've never had it. I would be interested in trying it.

I tell you, when I wouldn't. I've had it in the center of a meatball. I wouldn't do that on a plane. Yeah, I don't know. It wasn't great. And then the last one here, you do not need a lot of cat. Oh, yo, I'm a fucking idiot.

You are. Confirmed. They did emojis and they meant to say pussy juice and I thought cat water. You don't need, well, you don't need cat water. You don't need any cat water, but you do not need a lot of pussy juice for a successful Vab.

Okay. Yeah, you don't. I think that is because it's not about. Me, I'm like, I get too excited. So I would be thinking like, I gotta get this shit crazy. Well, you know, it's been the last couple of years, the vagina has been making a triumphant return. Obviously this.

Like in your life or like in like in the, you know, the stratosphere of pop culture. Okay. We have this clearly making its way. Right. We had the, the Goop candle. Oh, the candle. The candle smells like when it's Paltrow's vagina,

apparently. Uh-huh. Pepper Pots is a vagina is in a candle, you know. Correct. Paltrow. So like it seems like people are like really starting to like really put the vagina at the forefront of, you know, popular.

If this becomes a perfume, then we have to buy it. Uh, vagina? Yeah. Because listen, we tried buying the Goop candle. It's literally been out of stock forever. Well, I don't want to buy it now. It's fucking dangerous. It's been dangerous.

It's been blowing up. But listen, we'll take one for the team. I'm not going to die by a candle. Why not? That's a horrible way to go. Bro, if you die by a vagina candle, it's kind of fire. I'd rather get eaten by a whale. Well, yes, I would rather get eaten by a whale too.

I'd rather also die in like a hot air balloon crash. Yeah? You sure about that? I'm not. You'd rather be, you'd rather the world know that you died in a giant balloon and wicker basket falling to the ground. With a sick view though.

Like sick view. Yeah, I'm sure. You were in a colorful ass giant balloon and a wicker basket and you fell to your death. I'd be so scared in that thing. I wouldn't go up. I'm like, I want to, but I'm so scared. How to, I never mind, I'm not going to do that.

I would, if it was going down, I would grab the, like I'd grab the balloon and like parachute my way down. First with animals, you're delusional now with this. It's like. I'm saying. What next? You're going to grab lightning and throw it back into the sky.

No, Joe, relax. I'm not saying it would be easy. I'm not saying it would be easy. I'm not saying it would be easy, but like if I were up there, I'd be like, all right, cut the basket. Everyone hold on to, you know, the balloon. The balloon will bring us down slowly, right?

Well, if it folds, that's why it's going down, babe. Like obviously if the balloon is just ballooned, well, just blow, open the balloon back up. You ever see the size of one of these balloons? Not in person. Okay. But I've seen them in very many movies and TV shows. Pretty big.

Yeah. I never understood how like people can't use blankets as like, you know, parachutes. So you saw Aladdin and that's what you're basing that off of. That's it, huh? I'm just saying, like, if I were to just grab like a, like a king size comforter and like just hold it at the ends, but I jump off and like be okay.

Find out. Jump off your roof. See what happens. My roof is not that big. I wouldn't be able to. Get a bigger roof. Okay. That's about as easy as what you're describing though,

you idiot. No, it's easier to jump off one than to get a bigger one. Oh no, you can get a bigger roof. No. But since we're talking about vaginas, there's actually another TikTok trend that I found that I wanted to bring up to you. Again, big week, big time for vaginas.

It's a big vagina episode. Which, hey man, you're not gonna get an argument out of me. Hell no. So I saw that there is a new TikTok trend, Joey. I feel like I'm gonna hate this. Let me ask you a question. Yeah. Do you like hot pockets?

Yeah, I do. I do too, dude. But not the fucking bacon egg and cheese one. I'm not a fucking white trance piece of shit. You are, but honestly, the bacon egg and cheese one isn't that bad. But the only good hot pocket is the pepperoni pizza. Pepperoni pizza.

I have a relationship with hot pockets where I have them, my stomach hurts really bad. And then I won't have them for another like 10 months just to forget that my stomach hurts. Yeah. And then I have them again. I like that. You know?

I usually, my relationship is different with them. I usually, I like them, but it gets hard to like them because I burn my mouth and hands. Yeah. Because I try to open it and then cheese gets on me and I go, no! And then I eat it too fast and it burns my mouth. Well, eating a hot pocket is basically just,

like you take a, yeah, you have to like, you have to eat it while breathing in reverse. Like it's like really hard to eat a hot pocket. And you have to chew with like your cheeks and lips not making contact with the rest of your mouth. So it's like, I,

literally, yeah. And then like do it in reverse. Yeah. And then of course you burn the roof of your mouth and burn your tongue. But so the trend involves hot pockets, which so far you're on board.

Yeah. Yeah. I love hot pockets. You know, apparently there is a new thing going online where people have been doing something called an Alabama hot pocket. Now, Is that when you like eat a hot pocket on either end

with like your sister and then like eventually kiss? That would, you know what? That would make more sense than what I'm about to tell you. That was my guess for Alabama hot pocket. Because down in Alabama you were always talking about their cousin fuckers down there. Are you trying to set me up but I'm willing to be set up for that?

Yeah. Cause I, that's just something I have said. Yes. It is a thing about Alabama and the people of Alabama. They like to fuck their friends. Incest apparently is a thing that they do. I'll tell you this. I know zero people in Alabama that do that.

I know people in New York that do. I know someone who said that they did that someone in their family is married to someone. Yeah, me. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I'm saying that. You know, which, hey man, love is love.

But when it's, well, you know, just don't have kids. Family member, love is a little bit more. Yeah. Too much. So yeah, so each generation has go through their phase where they're obsessed with grossing their friends out. But this generation right now has been grossed out with something called the Alabama hot pocket.

Okay. Now, Joey, if I were to give you another guess of what an Alabama hot pocket is, what would you guess? Something with animals. Why? I immediately went to like. Does the word Alabama make you think of llamas? It makes me llamas.

I meant, I was thinking more like pigs. Like they like. Because of how you talk about the people from Alabama that they're pigs. No. Do they like fuck pigs? Like two guys fucking a pig? I don't think guys are doing.

I feel like I should stop guessing. Yeah, you're kind of, no. So an Alabama hot pocket is a sexual act where a man takes a bomb. A shit? Yes. Inside a woman's, you know what? And then does you know what?

With the, you know what? That's filled with, you know what? I don't know any one. I don't know any of these what. So an Alabama hot pocket. He shits in her ass. That's not that you know what, Joe. Pussy?

How do you shit in a, okay, he shits in her. I mean, listen, man. Hold on. Let's go one, you know what by what? Okay, start with the first. So. Shits in a pussy. A man takes a poop inside a woman's, woman's,

you know what? In her bag, yes. In her front bag. Got it, yeah. Okay. And then does you know what? In her glove compartment. Got it.

And then, so you got this, you know, candy bowl filled with M&M's. Jesus. And then, he has sex with her. Sexes it up. With poop. With the vagina filled with, you know, qualms. Yeah, okay.

Now I know what. And then there was two more, you know what? No, it was he puts his, you know what, and does you know what, inside of her, you know what, which is filled with, you know, what? What? So, okay, so what happens is. Yeah.

A guy. So you're crouched. A guy takes a crap in a woman's lady bag. Yeah. And then has coitus with both. Yeah. As, as it is filled. And this is a TikTok trend, you said?

Apparently it's a trend of showing people it. So you know what we have to do, right? I'm not looking at it. You have to Google it. All right. You guys. I found that it's a thing. You have to look at what it is.

Well, this is what you guys are seeing right now. I typed in Alabama hot bucket into Urban Dictionary. It says a hot pocket from the state of Alabama. Nothing more. Damn, this pepperoni Alabama hot pocket is good. I think we know that. Oh, nope. Nevermind.

Oh! There it is, folks. There it is. We don't recommend doing this to anybody, obviously, but if anyone's eyes will be, you know, christened with the view of the Alabama hot pocket, it'll be Joey. It, I'll tell you this right now.

Don't describe what you're seeing. Don't use any euphemisms. I'll show you this. Nope, I don't want it. It's not real. It's a cartoon. And it's just funny. But this is exactly-

You're fucking with me. No, no, no, I'm serious. If you swear on my children. I'm gonna show the fucking- Swear on my children. I swear on your children. No, swearing. I swear on your children.

You're fine. And Charlie. I swear on Charlie. And you're, I know you. You care about Charlie a lot. He's your child. Swear on your nephews. Frankie, you're fine.

And your niece. Okay, it's enough. He didn't swear. This is how I pictured it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Can you imagine? Poop in her to show dominance. That wouldn't show dominance.

I mean, it's not dominance. That's a pretty non-dominant situation. If I'm doing that to a person, I'm never seeing them again. And I'm also never looking at my reflection again. I was gonna say, you're also walking away and going right off of the bridge. Yeah, I'm not looking at my reflection ever again.

That's really fucking insane. I, listen, I mean, for obvious reasons, this is, people not died this way yet? Dude, we're talking about does these is. The fucking doctor said not to put juice behind your ears. You're getting shit in, lady. This is a disrespect. This feels like a Dubai type of thing.

What does that mean? There was a lot of stories that came out about, like, the princes in Dubai, like, asking to get shit on. I thought you were being racist again. No, no, no, this is just factual stuff. Not this time. All the defecating was coming out. That's right, no, we spoke about it on an episode.

What's that called? Crap. No, corn, some corn, some were to see. What are you trying to say? It's like something aphelia. It's like cornucopia. Crap-a-phelia? Crap-a-phelia, yeah.

I've never heard of this. Yeah. This is like, I can't even begin to express. Every time we do this episode, there's not every time. Often when we do this episode, we come up with things that I put on my list of I would do anything else before I do that. Sure.

This is probably the top of that list. I would say so. I think crapping into a vagina would really, like, make me go crazy. And honestly, if I was feeling like traumatized or whatever, then I could go to BetterHelp. And BetterHelp is one of our sponsors for today's show. And like, if BetterHelp is online counseling, okay?

You can talk to a therapist. They're gonna talk you through whatever's going on in your life, hopefully not what I just described. But they can help you and it's online therapy. And it is affordable, way more affordable than in-person therapy. And you can also get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com slash basement.

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And yeah, you just keep your wardrobe pretty fresh, which is nice. Yeah, and it's also seasonal. So it's like during the winter, you're gonna get some winter stuff or whatever you want, like it's nice. So go try them out. You could sign up at stitchfix.com slash basement,

and you will get $20 off your first purchase. That is stitchfix.com slash basement to get $20 off your first purchase. Limited time offer, purchase within two days of sign up. All right, folks? And also make sure you go check out the Patreon. Patreon.com slash the basement yard. We tell you guys about Patreon all the time,

but realistically, it's the best way to support us. In addition to watching the show and telling your friends about it, go watch out the Patreon videos, because guess what, you sign up for Patreon on that first tier, you get these videos. Well, no, excuse me, the weekly, that's what we're watching right now,

these weekly videos a week early, a week before everybody else. You get to watch them before everybody else does it. Get in on the conversations beforehand. See, Joey talked about how he is gonna recreate the Alabama hot pocket a week before anybody else. No, he's not.

But then also there's that next tier where you sign up for that. Well, guess what? We are giving you more content, baby. 7 a.m. every single Friday, you get exclusive videos that nobody else gets the opportunity to see. They're a little more crazy, a little more,

you know, how you doing, there's no ads on them. You know, they're just out of control. So go check them out, patreon.com. Slash the base video out. If we get to 12,000, we have put up a poll as to what exactly we are going to be doing and we're waiting on what the results of that poll are.

And... I think I wanna do the full drag. That'd be fun. I would really like to do that. I would like to do drag. I know, I would too, honestly. I feel like it would awaken something in me. But make sure you go check it out.

We appreciate the love and support for all of our friends that already are patrons. And if you're not able to do it for a little bit, we understand. We'd love to see you there eventually. Patreon.com slash the base video out. Wow. You get this hot sauce.

Get it. Yeah, go get the hot sauce. What do you do if I swallow this whole bottle right now? Probably be jealous. Probably taste delicious. But it would burn your fucking bum, probably. You can't have a burnt bum if it's always burnt. Jeez.

Ha! All right. I think we sold out, but we're waiting for another shipment of this. Oh man. I ordered five bottles, already through one. I have 12. Well, now I have 10 because I finished two bottles.

I gave one away to my in-laws and I'm giving two more away. So what's the math? This shit is so good. It really is. I put it on, I made some breakfast tacos the other day. Oh, what was in them? Well, it was actually, technically,

it was a breakfast corn trap supreme. And I didn't make it, Becca did. So let's start that whole sentence over. Okay. Did you say anything correct? Becca made a breakfast corn trap supreme. Was there eggs in it? Yeah.

And I, every single bite, I put that son of a bitch on it. Dude, that's how I eat that. Yeah, I don't do like, oh, a little bit beep beep. I do like bite more, bite more. Yeah, exactly. Because it's the best way to do it. Yeah.

So yeah, go check out the Secret Handshake Foods, everything they have. On Instagram. I'm sure there will be, you know, once you're the first people want to. There's imitators probably. They want to, they want to, what is it, Jochen, Jochen your style?

Jochen the style, yeah. They want to be. Sweatin' your. Sweatin' your style. Yeah. They want to be, what's it called? Like you're Jochen, they're going to be Jochen you. Yeah.

I'm trying to think of like what like Mike Jones you should say back in the day. You should say a lot of stuff. Back then, hoes didn't want me know I'm hot, they're all lying. Yeah, two eight, one, three, three, eight, zero, zero, four, hit Mike Jones up on the low because Mike Jones about to blow.

I used to call that number. Is it still a thing? I don't know if it's still, you want to call it? Two eight, one, three, three, oh, eight, zero, zero, four. Yeah, hit Mike Jones up on the low. Because Mike Jones about to blow. Two eight, one, three, three, oh, eight, zero, zero, four. Four.

Well. On speaker. So either the number doesn't exist or they finally shut my service off. Right, yeah. And then there was soldier voice, kissed me through the phone. Six, seven, eight, triple nine, eight, two, one, two.

Six, seven, eight, triple nine, eight, two, one, two. Let's see. Ask if it's soldier. Oh, so many answers. Imagine it's soldier boy. I need monitored and recorded. Perfect. Just hung up.

Damn. What about eight, six, seven, five, three, oh, nine, nine. I don't think that was a real number. But I don't know. Was there a time when we were younger where you didn't have to use an error code? Yeah. You don't remember that?

Like I do and I don't. Like I know that it like happened, but I don't really because I didn't have a phone then obviously, but I feel like that became a thing. Like, oh, you got to, you got to put seven, one, eight. It didn't come, it didn't come until we were like eight or nine years old, I would say. That's crazy.

I used to be able to call you and I would just dial. I'm not going to do it. Or I can call your cell phone and dial. What I used to do is when I used to like fuck with people and give fake numbers, I would give our friend David's phone number because it's been the same the whole time. Really?

Yeah. Well, my phone number, I've never changed my phone number, I think. I have. My phone number originally was something different. It's now, I believe now it's like an Indian guy, but my brother inherited it and he had it. My brother Chris had it for years and he said,

up until he got rid of it like a year ago, he would get calls and text messages like, yo, Frankie, long time no talk. Really? Yeah. Jesus. And then I was, I want to say in high school, I finally got it switched and it is my number now

and it's been the same since. Wow. But like, do you remember when you had to like, you would get a new phone, you get a new number? Yeah, but well, I don't know. I know I inherited my sister's phone number when I was, when I like first got a phone and then it changed at a certain point.

And I think it's been the same since then. Yeah, yours? But I didn't get a phone until like high school. No, I think like seventh or eighth grade, you got a phone. Yeah, well, I had a, no, in eighth grade, I don't think I had a phone. You had the Nokia originally, I believe, right?

Yeah, but I was like a freshman in high school probably. Or is that too late? I think that was a little late for you, Joe. I think you had it before because... Yeah, I had that red phone. Remember the flip phone? The chocolate? Chocolate.

Is that what it was? No. Oh, no, I do remember the red phone. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah. I remember, I, I remember you had a phone and then you pissed all over it. I did.

I did do that. Yeah. I did do that. After those of you guys that have never heard that story, I stayed up late on the phone with a girl I was talking to at the time. As one does. As one does.

And we did the cute boyfriend, girlfriend thing where we would stay on the phone the whole night when we were sleeping. I, in order to stay up later, drank a Kobe's amount of Coca-Cola. Yeah. And in the night, pissed the bed.

Yeah. And my phone was just under me. Of course. Woke up to a searing hot phone, didn't work anymore, was completely broken. Yeah. And my dad was not happy. Right.

And then you told your dad that you- And I tried- You may have came on it. I tried to convince him it was gone. I love that story so much. Because in my head, it was less embarrassing that I had jizzed on a phone than I had pissed on a phone.

Hindsight, do you still feel that way? Because I think that the coming all over your phone and breaking it is psychotically worse. Honestly, no, I think I would still- You would say I had a soaking wet dream that broke my phone. I've never had a wet dream. Me neither.

But we know someone that has had, apparently, messy wet dreams. What? Like super messy wet dreams. Yeah, I've never woken up and been like, there's common. Bro, we know someone, and I won't say it here. Right.

We know someone who has told us that, yo, there have been times where they've woken up just like come everywhere. What the hell? I've never, bro, I've never- I've never had a wet dream. I've never, and I've had dreams where I've been like- Titties.

Doing like bang bang and- Yeah, me too. But like I've never been like, this dream in my head that I know is not real is so sick that I'm gonna finish in real life. That's never happened to me. I guess that's the dream. You ever like dance with a girl for so long

that you come or something? Nope. See, like that's never happened to me either. There was a kid that I know, which sounds cool, I mean, maybe not. Not really. But there was a kid that I know, his name is Christian.

And in middle school, we were at the dance and he was dancing with this girl who, look, you know what's funny? I think it was Davino's cousin. Oh, okay. The girl. Gotcha. And the kid Christian was like, yo.

And the kid Christian's name was Davino. No, no, no. Okay. No, I don't know what this kid's doing, but like, I remember him telling me he was like, yo, I was dancing with her and then like, fucking came in my shit. And I was like, why are you bragging about coming?

That's not cool. I have to imagine. It was seventh grade too. I have to imagine that like wet dreams, if you live with your significant other, cause a little bit of a rain. Wait, you don't have wet dreams that late in life, right? Wait, you can have a wet dream like now?

Bro, we know people, we know someone that still has them. As far as I know, the last time we spoke about this topic, we were informed that wet dreams still happen. When do men have wet dreams? Why do wet dreams happen? Your body goes through some rapid physical and emotional changes during puberty, which is usually begins around nine to 15.

All right, I gotta click on the article now. Oh, okay. Cause I need to know what the hell's going on. To my understanding, this person still does. And I could be incorrect in saying that. You start producing more of the hormone testosterone, which causes your body to start creating sperm, your genitals to grow,

facial and pubic hair to appear. I know what this is. We know what puberty is. A nocturnal emission. That's the scientific sleep orgasm. That's when you ejaculate without masturbation or manual stimulation while you're asleep. That sounds kind of dope.

But you have to imagine, if this is happening later in life, when someone lives with a partner, this could create a little riff, right? Ooh, can adults get wet dreams? Wet dreams aren't just experienced by teenage boys. You may experience wet dreams as an adult, especially if you are not masturbating or having sex.

However, wet dreams don't mean you're not having enough sex or you're unhappy with your sectional partner. So. Yeah, but imagine you wake up and you're like, oh, shh, how do you have to wake up and go like, ugh. Oh, no, stuff. And then like, yo, who are you fucking in your dream? Yeah, I mean, maybe.

Better be me. Well, not me. I'm saying my partner would, not Becca wouldn't say that, but I imagine there are relationships where people are like, who are you fucking in your dream? If it's not me, that's fucked up. Yeah.

The frequency of wet dreams varies in person to person. Some people may only experience a few in their lifetime. Some have wet dreams regularly and some will never have one. It's all normal. I'm texting this person to see if they still have them. Dude, I can't even imagine. That would be so bad.

Imagine waking up and there's fucking like stuff everywhere. You'd be like, no. Sometimes we're really cool shorts to bed or like really comfortable shorts. And I was like, I would never come in these. Yeah. And then like, I'd be like, yo. And it's a mess, bro.

Like it's not like a cool, like. I would also just feel like out of control of my penis. I'd be like, yo, you're doing this when I'm not around. Like you're just gonna. You'd be betrayed. It's like, it's getting too like, it's becoming like too like artificial intelligence.

Yeah. I thought we were a team and you're doing this on your own now. Like, yo, like you. You're trying to push me out. You wait for me. Yeah. Like you're trying to push me out.

Like I thought that we were working together. They're trying to do honestly. They're trying to show dominance. They're not going to poop in you. Well, I hope not. They're going to show dominance by being like, yo, this is me. I'm go to go whenever I want.

I don't know why they're Southern. I don't know. Yeah. What the hell did you. I said Alabama hot pocket earlier and my mind is still down there. I feel like I didn't do a lot of things as a kid. Like wet dreams and like other stuff. No, I didn't do wet dreams.

Didn't really piss the bed that much. I pissed the bed. I mean, kids pissed the bed, but like not to the point where. Children, yes. Yeah. I thought I pooped the bed once. I told that story.

Well, I thought I shit my pants that one time. I slept on a mashed banana. Yeah. Speaking of mashed food, that's why I thought I shit my pants. There was a time we went to Miami and I was very drunk and I passed out in my bed. And then Josh, you know, great friend, Josh of ours. You put poop in your pants?

No, he made a grilled cheese sandwich and burned it. So he just shoved it in my underwear. You didn't know that? Yeah, dude. Josh, if I did, I forgot it. Josh shoved a grilled cheese sandwich in my underwear. That is fucking hysterical. Yeah, so I don't know, like I was asleep

and he jammed a whole sandwich. Was this the trip I was at? No, it was the next one. The rebound. Yeah, and he just shoved a whole fucking sandwich. And I woke up and I was like, what am I feeling in my pants right now? I was like, what the fuck is going on?

And then I went to the bathroom because I was like concerned. I was like, did I like shit myself? I was like, what's going on? Brown. And then I just saw a whole sandwich. And I knew it was him immediately. And I woke him up, I was like,

why is there a grilled cheese in my pants? What? They respond, I said, yo, super random, but hilarious question. You still have one dream? And they responded, not that often, but I'll wake up with cum shorts every once in a blue. That would, wait, I feel like I know who it is.

I feel like I know who it is. Do you want me to show you? I'm not gonna say it. Oh, okay, yeah. Not what I thought it was at all. Really? No. Who do you think it was?

I don't want to say. Well, so give me a hint, give me something that an inside joke they wouldn't understand. The only word that comes to mind is Adderall. Unfortunately, that's a number of people that we know. So you're gonna have to narrow it down a little bit?

Yeah, I guess, I don't know how. But that's funny. Yeah. That's crazy. That is funny. Not really. I don't know how, this is a bad transition. What?

But apparently there has been a skyrocket of designer vagina surgeries. Like Gucci? Like you go to the store and you're like, yo, let me get new lips. Let me get some Botox. Oh, you want a face lip? Yeah, dude, when I'm thinking of designer,

I'm thinking of like an LV, like a Louis Vuitton. I know that's where your brain goes, Joey. I think it's gonna be a matter of time until like you have like these brands being like, like, hello, this is YSL, YSL Enron. We have the beautiful designer vagina. Vagina? We would like to offer you a slow rate of $20,000 per lip.

1,000 per lip? I would assume, because that's what, so the designer- How many lips do you have? Two? I think two, but- But we don't know. You never know.

You never know. It's like, it's, you know. They start finding new ones every year. Bingo, it's like the ocean. Like the more we explore, the more it's like- The more you find. That's there? There's more species, you know?

Yeah. Like, you know, I feel like we know more about the ocean floor than we do about a vagina. Yeah, I'm on that team. For sure. Well, maybe us personally? Definitely us personally. Well, yeah, for sure.

Well, yeah. But as a society. As a society. I think I have to say bet to make as well. And we live in a society. Yeah, actually, I just sent you a- Yeah, it says, designer vagina surgery doubles in 2022 for one surgeon thanks to tight leggings.

What happened? What happened? He says- This is the wet dream. This is the cum shorts. Okay. It says, they say not that often, but I'll wake up with cum shorts every once in a blue.

And I said, what do you do when that happens? And they said, blame it on toothpaste. I say, I got toothpaste on my shorts. So no one thinks I'm 16 having wet dreams. Toothpaste, that's genius. Well, now I'm gonna know about the toothpaste. Well, now you'll know. So if you ever see-

Yeah. An associate would be like, oh, I just got toothpaste all over my shorts. It's like, I bet you do. I'd be like, yeah? This toothpaste? Brush your teeth with it. Lick it.

Yeah. But back to the designer vagina. Yeah, designer vagina. Design vagina. Mejamejine. Design vagina. Design nuns. Apparently thanks to tight leggings.

Labia plasty, the procedure shrinks the labia minora, otherwise known as the flaps. Come on. The flaps. You just went and used the scientific term for labia. Now you're going with flaps, dude? With a price tag more than $4,000, I thought it would be more.

Well, you know, the better the surgeon, I presume it would be more expensive. You know, and they'll give you like cute little things with it too. They'll be like, oh, we'll throw in like a diamond, you know, like a little stud, you know, at the top. I would do that. Yeah?

Like who is the rapper that got the diamond in their bed? A little Uzi Vert. A little Uzi Vert. And it'd be like, yo, like while you're just kind of, you know, working on the hedges, do you mind just throwing a diamond in? Just throwing a diamond in. Yeah.

It says women are flocking to purchase a designer vagina after ultra tight leggings have become uncomfortable or embarrassing thanks to the dreaded camel toe. So the leggings are too tight and it's causing the vaginas to be pushed up against a pan. Do I respond with like liberal frank and discuss like why this is bad for, you know, like young women growing up and having to come to the realization

that their vagina might not match beauty standards or do I go with the funny route? Well, considering the fact that it is a comedy show. Oh, okay. All right. All right. I won't bring up, you know, the effect that this will have on women growing up.

But you got to love your vaginas, ladies. Yeah, dude. Because we love them. Nothing wrong with it. You got two fans right here. Two big vagina fans. You know, we're not going to like also be honest. Be honest.

I've always am. Yeah. What the fuck? Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the fuck does that mean? I'm always fucking on his bitch. Camel toes. Whatever.

At this point, it's just like they're there. Sometimes I'm like, that's kind of cool. Really? Sometimes I'm like, I can kind of see a vagina. Well, you probably get turned on by like the idea that like, yo, it's you're basically not wearing any pants. Well, that's you, not me. I'm just like, whatever.

Wait, I'm saying, yeah, why, why is, but you're making it seem like that's weird. A little bit. Why is that weird? It's a little like voyeuristic is like, you're looking at something. I'm not fucking looking through her window. You're, you're basically, you know,

smelling the wallpaper at that point. No, dude, that thing's looking at me. I'm not looking at it. Oh, Joey, don't do this. If I'm scanning the earth, I'm looking around. I'm observant. Have you ever been here and you fucking lock eyes with a camel toe?

I'm not, I'm not locking eyes with a camel toe. I'm just saying sometimes you catch a camel toe in your face. Yeah, you catch a camel toe, but that's when you're like, oh, I'm sorry. And then you walk, you, you look away. That doesn't mean that you see it. Respectfully, you say like good day and then you look away.

I know, but I have a photographic memory, dude. I just can't, like it's hard to. What would you do if you tipped your cap to every, to every camel toe? You don't see a whole lot of camel toes these days though. You just hear about them. It's like, it's like a big foot. You know what I mean?

I feel like we are, we are as a society, like really trying to avoid camel toe. You know when it became an issue, when we started calling men's things moose knuckles, then men were like, this is outrageous. It affects us now, no more. Oh, like a, like a balls and stuff. Well, that's what they call it for men.

For women, it's a camel toe. For men, they call it a moose knuckle. Yeah. Because I think that has more girth to it than a camel toe. I don't know, man. I think a camel toe and a moose knuckle are both pretty like, I gotta say, whoever coined the term camel toe,

if they didn't monetize that, they have severely missed out on also great call. Really good at, you know, like we all like try to be at the forefront of like, you know, good analogies. Right. I often talk about the toads and frocks. Much to Joey's chagrin. Yeah.

However, whoever looked at it and went, looks like a camel toe. That's spread like wildfire, baby. Yeah. Also, someone has to be familiar with camels, which I am not. Not familiar with camels. I would like to be.

Of the parts of the camels I'm familiar with, their toes, at the bottom. Yeah, I know more about their humps. Bingo. And their tongues. Yeah. And their dumb, stupid fucking faces. No, they're cute.

Yeah. I like a cute little camel. They look like idiots. Well. What do you want them to look like? Geniuses? Yeah. Look at that animal.

If they're ugly, I hate them. Yeah. I don't know. I like like doofy looking animals. I don't want to see an animal go, hmm, that animal looks like a genius. Fuck. Yeah.

I want something that like I look at and be like, that's a poster animal right there. Like, I don't want to look at something and it should be like, oh, it should die. You know, you look at like Charlie and you're like, oh, he looks kind of looks like an idiot. Charlie, he does look like an idiot, but I don't want him to die just because he's your dog.

Yeah. If he wasn't your dog. That's crazy. No, but like you're going to tell me you don't look at camels and you're just like, all right. What does that mean? Like something that's cuter.

Would you ride a camel? Fuck yeah, bro. What's I'm saying? I'd ride a camel, but there. I think I'm going to ride a camel next year. Where are you going? Morocco. Morocco?

Do I have camels there? I agree. I remember you told me months ago, like, yeah, Greece is probably my last big trip. Fuck. I did not say that. Yes, you did. Of the year, maybe.

Maybe I mistook it. Yeah. Like why would I never? I thought you took it as like forever. No, no, no. Big mistake on my part. Yeah. I need a camels.

I'll take the loss on that one. I need a camels. What am I saying? Well, apparently. Yeah. Let's go to Morocco and get camels. But I would love to because I've said this, my love of tea actually established with Moroccan mint tea,

which we had for. There's a restaurant in the city that I've been to. Yeah. And in the middle of dinner, they bring you to another part of the restaurant and they have a guy make you Moroccan tea, like with the sand or whatever. Okay.

And it's fucking good. Bro, Moroccan mint tea is the first tea I ever had. And I fell in love with tea after that. Had it where? A kid that we knew growing up. Dad's restaurant. Jauret Nui. Ah.

That was the first time you had tea. That I can remember. I'm sure I had it before then, but I remember having it. You've been obsessed with tea since then? Yeah. Wow. I don't drink coffee.

Never have. Wow. But, yeah. So I think, maybe for like 20,000 patrons, you should get this designer vagina. You want me to get a- Or designer balls, dude. You can get a designer.

If it's $4,000, you can get a designer ball surgery. It's also an invasive surge. I mean, they just work on the outside. They just kind of like pin it back a little bit. You know, like you sand the sides. I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're cool with your balls. Yeah.

I think my balls are like kind of... You can see them. Definitely see my balls. I know I have. I want to see them now. Oh. No. Not the time, Frank.

Not the time or place. Well, I mean, it's only a matter of time for, you know, we can start getting designer ball surgeries. I mean, I'm not, I'm open to it at some point. You can get like the Louis Vuitton pattern, you know, that like checkered pattern on like the outside. I don't think I'm gonna get that. You don't think so?

No. I want a BAPE pussy. A BAPE pussy. I want mine. Ice creams. I want mine to have the ice creams logo. And then like the, you know, I get it from the BAPE store. Yeah.

And I gotta look pretty dope. I mean, crazy. This is a big vagina episode. We salute to a real one. We do, we do, yes. But yeah, we can kind of wrap up there. Frank, where can they find you, buddy? Just like this.

Okay. For a couple days. F Alvarez 8085 on Twitter. The Frank Alvarez on Instagram. And then go check out the Patreon, as I said before. Patreon.com slash the basement yard. We love and appreciate all the support. Sign up for that first tier.

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