The Basement Yard - #362 - Take Me Out To The Ball Game

Episode Date: September 5, 2022

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Welcome back to the basement yard. Frank, how's it going, bud? Good, good, good. I'm not gonna dilly-dally here. Okay. I'm gonna jump right into it, because I asked you a question, and I want to know. This might sound insensitive to someone. I'm sure someone will get upset about the question I asked. Welcome back, by the way. Hey, welcome back. Would you, if you went out one night a week for three months straight, do you think one night a week?

Look ahead. Okay. Fuckin' three nights a week, Joey. Is that what you want? At least two. Okay. At least two nights a week, every week, for three months. Okay. Would you get more, let's put the baseline at phone numbers, okay? Okay. Phone numbers. Would you get more phone numbers as a straight man going for a straight woman?

Yeah. Or a... Or a gay man. Or you going for a gay man. Am I gay? You're not gay that we know of yet, but... Wait, why would I be getting gay numbers if I'm not gay? I'm saying, like, do you think, like, if you were gay, do you think everything about you is the exact same?

Yeah. You know, but you're gay. Right. Okay? Yeah. Do you think you would be able to attract more straight women as a heterosexual man, or gay men as a gay man? I think so, but, like, am I doing it as, like, a contest? No, like, you want...

Well, I mean, we're doing it as a contest. So, like, imagine, like, we're, like, God, and we're watching you do this. Who's God? We are. Me and you are... Together are... Together are... One God.

Or a split God. Okay. Yeah. And we're watching this happen. So, you don't realize, you just want to see what you can do, what your glass ceiling is. Right. How would you do? Do you think you'd do well?

I think, um, probably more... We're just talking about, like, phone numbers, or, like, sexual interactions. Sexual interactions. Let's say that. Oh, I think definitely gay. I think so. I just think that gay men fuck more than straight women. Like, way more.

How do we know, though? Just from stories I've heard. But you talk to many straight women and ask them how much you fuck? No. You fuck a freak? No, but you've, like, we've been in the game. We know what's going on. We have been in the game.

We have been in the game. I can only have hearsay about the gay community. But all I hear is, bang, bang, boom, orgy parties, gay people at once. That's crazy shit. Guys are so, like, guys are so horny. So, like, if you put, it's like two ends of a fucking, you know, magnet. If you put two ends of a magnet together, they're gonna not want it. But, like, if they're both meant to be, and, like, it's, like, super horny,

they're gonna fucking just go at each other's little bullies. Right. You know, so I could imagine that, like, is that a dolphin? That sounded like a little girl crying. The ghost is coming back. Oh, my God, don't. So you think you'd do all right? Yeah, I think I'd be okay.

I think I would too. Mostly, I have to say, my butt is pretty nice. Also, like, the ages of, like, 18 to 22-ish, like, I feel like that's when, like, I lived through that time. You know what I mean? Yes, you have, yeah. And I know how many sexual partners I had. Oh, you were just fucking, like, a rabbit, huh?

That's not what I'm saying. Here we go, Joe. I know that I crushed. Absolutely. I know that I went to town on some straight Brooklyn bean bags. Listen, idiots, that's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is I lived through that, so I know what I was capable of on one side of this thing. Oh, my God.

So you were a dangerous man is what you're saying. That's not what I'm saying. That's what you're saying, what you were capable of. If anything, I'm saying the opposite, you idiot. You were walking around with a weapon of mass destruction, and it was your mouth, not your puss. What the hell are you talking about? Like, you were just like a, you were a quick talking, you know, I never understood that thing where they were like, ooh, he was a quick talker.

That sounds like that would be a fucking disaster. Oh, hurry up. Yeah. That'd be a disaster, you know, if they were like, oh, he's a quick talking bad boy. I was like, hello, baby. How you doing? I want to see you tonight. Yeah.

It's like a fucking auctioneer. Yeah. Can you imagine? Yeah. Bro, auctioneer's got to give fucking dope top. Yeah, probably. You have to imagine. Yeah.

Where, you know, like whoever is, you know, the cuddling dong. Yeah. The cuddling dong or the filet. Well, you know, I'm sure there are gay auctioneers out there. Are there though? We don't know. There's got to be, dude. They do wear colorful hats.

And big hats too. Big hats. Yeah. 12 gallon hats. They're big. Oh, yeah. Yeah. With the, yeah.

I was thinking of a different hat. I don't know why, but I was thinking of like a hat with like stars and stripes on it. Yeah. I don't know why you're thinking that. I don't know. But like, you have to imagine, like if you're dating an auctioneer and you're just like, just go rattle off the price of a fucking 1967 Shelby. It's like, I'll be right back.

We're going to be going on. It's probably nice. That would be really sick. Yeah. It's probably one of the top jobs as far as currently it's good. Or filet. Why am I thinking filet? I'm trying to be, I'm trying to keep it even keel over here.

I know. But we know what we're saying. We're not caring about it. Also, the fact that you can talk fast and move your tongue fast is more helpful when you're pleasuring a woman. I could, yeah. I could imagine it doesn't. It's not like you're down there just, you know, licking a penis to shreds.

I love that the common terminology for, you know, giving head to a man has been called a blow job because there's not a lot of blowing involved. Like it's not like you're like, do you know when I was younger, I heard a rumor or someone may have been lying to me or maybe they were lied to, but they, but they passed on some bad info to me and said that if a girl blows into your dick, you'll die. You could die. Yeah. I'm sure that's true.

I believe that until probably right now, bro, honestly, it's like, I don't not believe it. Yeah. I was like, so like for the first few, like, bougies of my life, I was a little worried. I was like, yo, don't. Oh, because they just got, they had the fucking, they had a key to the nukes in their hand, basically. Exactly.

I was like, yo, don't blow in. I mean, you have to imagine it's like, I forgot what movie it was. I think it was the ring too, but like someone just puts a syringe of just air into their arm and they die because, well, that's a, that's a bloodstream. Yeah. Well, I could imagine that if you fucking try to blow the balloon up, it's going to inflate on the back end. Is my drift there?

I know, but I, I don't know. I don't, I don't think so. I think so, man. I might look it up. If you, if you blow into a penis hole, will you die? If you like, I have to imagine there's some validity to it because like, what happens? Think about it like this. If I were to put a straw in your vein and just blue air, you would die, right?

Oh. Uh-oh. What happened? No, I typed in what happens if you blow into a penis and says a direct blow to the penis and Texas, Texas, Texas. You hear me? Um, no, let's type in your rethra because now, now I think you're getting medical here. A urethra.

What happens if you blow air into a urethra? It doesn't really say, oh, here we go. This is on Reddit blowing into the year. Are you 18? Yeah. Uh, what happens if you blow into, I think, as a non-dick haver, oh no. What the fuck is going on over there, Joey? Are you okay?

You are not a non-dick haver. I'm on Reddit and Reddit is just like a mess and I'm trying to find where that thing was, but there's 760 commonists where they typically you will push air out of its, oh, this is from experience by the way. This is from mischievous dead. Well, so there we go. You typically will push the air out if it's a small enough amount and pressure, but if it is a large amount of pressure, it can force itself back into the bladder, which can lead

to an infection or UTI. His presented as a kidney infection that the doctors couldn't expect. That could be bad. So if you put like an air pump into your, like on your penis hole, just blow an air into you. Holy shit. He said, granted, I also did not tell them I was jacking off while pushing air from a syringe into my urethra.

So this dude had an operation going where he was jerking off and putting the air into his hole. What? That's what he's into, bro. This is mischievous dead talk. That's the mischievous dead. Yeah. Probably would have felt it was obviously pretty embarrassing.

So, you know, he didn't say that. The next question for some reason on this thread, it says, oh, I got to get to it because there's 700 fucking comments. Where is it? It says, does this is the best pussy I've ever had actually mean anything? Yeah, of course it does. I imagine. Does it?

I imagine. I mean, that's not something to use lightly. My boyfriend is always saying that mine is the best he's ever had and it feels so good, et cetera. Okay. But how much of that is just standard dirty talk? Can men actually feel the difference between vaginas? Honestly, I don't know.

I don't know. It would have to be like, it would have to be like immediately after I think, okay, that was a little different. You'd have to ask someone like Gene Simmons or, you know, like a Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. People who've had, you know, sex with thousands of women if like they can't because they're or like a porn star. That's probably someone that you can probably ask. Yeah.

But I don't know that I would even remember like if it was like 10 hours apart, like it would have to be like immediately. You'd have to, you'd have to dip. I'm sure they feel like a little different, but nothing being like, damn, this one's like super fire. And the last one was like, okay, well, they're all, it's, it's like a, it's like a snowflake. They're all different in their own little ways. You know what I mean?

Like snowflakes. No two snowflakes are the same, but exactly. But all snowflakes taste the same unless they've been pissed on by dogs. I guess. I don't know how to. You've never eaten pissed snow in your life. You've never eaten. Not consciously.

Well, that's what I'm saying. Accidentally, you never accidentally as a kid picked up snow, ate it and go, there's piss on this. I'm sure I did. I'm absolutely sure I did. Yeah. I mean, if it was snow, like it was going out of style. You used to do a lot of snow.

All right. Take it easy. No, you use. No, I know that. Slow the fuck down. Frankie, when you were young, you used to house snow. It was falling free rain ice, man. Yeah, but you weren't catching it out of the sky.

I was taking an undisturbed, you know, a little bit off the ground. There's nothing wrong. I wasn't going to like fucking the side of the road where the snow banks are and take some of that. I was like, I've seen you pull it out of a, out of a, yeah, no, I don't have a bank. Yes. I've seen you pull it out of a bank. Well, maybe.

I can't confirm that I haven't always been this smart as I am now. I can confirm, but, uh, like a nice, like fresh undisturbed lawn and you just go and you just like, you know, wipe your hand in it and just alone. I like snow. That's a little wet because then you could pack it. You're going to pack that bitch, right? Good snow. Well, I don't know if you remember this, but like it was a thing.

Do you remember the, the, I think I've spoken about this story before, but like the only time in my life you told me like, yo, be yourself with a girl. What? Yeah. I've told this story. You definitely remember this story. There was a girl. Be yourself.

There was a girl that you went to. We were in high school or middle school. One or the other. I think it was high school and there was a girl that was coming around the neighborhood that you went to school with and you were like, I was like, damn, like she's cute. And you said, she thinks that I was cute. Yeah. And I was like, what, what do I do?

And you were like, bro, just be yourself. Damn, that's fire. Super fire, honestly. Yeah. And I was myself and we started dating and she cheated on me. So it's all so your fault. Well, she was herself. You were yourself.

I clearly was. And she definitely was. Wait, why did you bring that up? What does that have to do with snow? Because my, one of the, the night that I met her, there was like a really bad snowstorm a couple of days prior. So we were walking around our neighborhood and I was diving into snow banks, like just be like, watch this.

How old were you again? I was 14. I was just like diving into snow banks and this is when like, and she was like, damn. Yeah. This is when like the, like the sidewalks had like the banks that were like set up, but they were not frozen yet. So you can fucking dive right through them. Right.

It was like one or two I hit that were pretty solid. Pretty solid. Yes. But it was, it was tough. It was tough. It worked. I mean, she liked that you sacrifice your body. She liked it.

And I don't understand why we do that. Like I've noticed this with Miles, Miles, like when there are like girls around or like in his school. He's like, I'm going to jump off the roof. Not, not. Well, take it easy. Yeah. But he'll be like, oh, I'm hurt.

Oh, man. Oh, that really hurts. You know what I mean? He wants that, that pity. Well, not the pity, but like it's like the thing that like he'll throw himself around. Take care of me. And like, why do guys do that? I don't know.

Are you trying to show like ruggedness? I think so, bro. Like I would like, if I got a black eye, I'd be kind of psyched. Really? Black guys are sick. I'll give you one right now. No. I had a black eye once.

Valentine's Day. Oh, that's strange. When I was in middle school, I was playing basketball and fucking Chris Nappy, who was half my size at the time. Bro, a quarter. Somehow got above me. A quarter? Your size at the time?

Yeah. And you were half your size now. Yeah. Do the fucking math. Yeah. He was a tiny, tiny guy, but he jumped in the air and then came down on my eye with his elbow and I had like a black eye and then I went to the nurse and they wanted, they wanted me to get picked up because they wanted my parents to take me to the doggers if I

had a concussion or something, which by the way, they didn't take me to the doggers. My dad walks in and he goes, what happened? You forgot to give your girlfriend a fucking gift because it was Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day, yeah. And your dad, classic, classic Joe thing to say. Of course. And also he was double parked. Insinuating domestic violence was the punchline.

Yes. Which they didn't take kindly to, they were like, well, I was like, I don't have a girlfriend either. So I told my mom, the old ball and chain to my dentist and he was like, what the fuck? Called your mom, your old ball and chain. Yeah. But like I meant it in the most literal sense of like the idea of like the ball and chain holds you back.

My mom also didn't fucking hold me back, but like, you know what I mean. Yeah. But I guess at the time I didn't realize that that was a euphemism. You were trying to make like a dad joke. For like your partner. Yeah. You know what I mean? So like I was trying to make like a, ah, she's all, you know, holding me to a ball and

chain, old enough, like old enough to know better, put it like that. You said that your mom was your punch. Yeah. I had, I've never had a black eye. This dentist is going, this guy fucks as much. My dentist was like, ew. And I was like, you know, I kind of like that. I hate that so much.

I like being sucked by the, yeah. Okay. Well, that's not what I wanted to say. One of the worst feelings in the world is that sandblaster on your teeth. Yeah. I hate that. So, one time I got a, this was like four years ago or five years ago, I got a root canal and the dentist was like this little Asian dude, dude, this guy had his hand up until

his wrist in my mouth. Yeah. That sounds about right. And he was fucking jamming in my face and I'm like, oh my God, I feel like his legs were up on the seat. Yeah. I need to go to the dentist. I haven't been in a little bit.

Dude, this guy fucking. I've never had a black eye. I have had a black ball sack. Bro, first of all, I thought you said black. I've never had a black guy either. I know that your family used to years ago. Wait, hold on. You had a bruised sack.

Yes. I had a bruised nut sack from someone punching me in the nut sack. Like, you know how like people like, remember when Keith at the park would just be in the corner sparring and he'd go like, and he like super like tight punch, you know what I'm saying? Okay. Someone did that to my ball sack and it fucking hurt. Why did they punch you for fun for giving up?

Bro, people always, it was actually a girl that did it. A girl punched you in the sack. A girl punched me in the ball sack and gave me a bruised nut. Which girl? I'm not going to say her name. Why? Was a case going to come up or something? No, but I'm not.

I'm just not going to say the person's name. Damn it. I want to know. I'll tell you after. First name. Nope. Bro, no one's going to find it. It's a pretty unique first name that will narrow it down very easily.

Damn it. I'll tell you. I'll tell you after. Which school? Also not going to do that, Joey. Which middle school? Was it middle school? Well, yeah.

And I only went to one. That's not true. I went to two. You went to two. I went to two. You are correct. I went to two high schools also. Yeah.

Wait. You went to two middle schools? Yeah. Sixth grade. I went to 141. Seventh to 10th grade. I went to baccalaureate. 11th to 12th grade.

I went to Bryant. Jesus. Big school. I had to leave that school, bro. It was fucking ridiculous. Yeah, bro. I got my nut sack punched and it was like a normal nut sack pain. I didn't understand what made it a bruised sack at the time.

It felt normal. And then I remember checking the next day and my nut sack was like, you know those bruises that are like, it's like black and then around it, it's like yellow. Oh yeah. And it gets green. And green? Yeah. That's what it was on my nut sack.

That's disgusting. Ugly nuts for like a minute. Damn. I have ugly nuts, but like at the time. One time I caught my penis shaving bad. Oh yeah. I did that on the reg, babe. Yeah.

I really did. Yeah. I was like, really? Bro, blood. I used to like shave my, you know, my manscape area with like a razor and like shaving cream and like go against the grain. Shaving cream? Yeah.

Did I shave cream? I don't know. It's not a thing anymore. No one makes, I mean, someone manscaped free plug is probably going to make a ball shaving cream at this, at any day now. No, you could get some cream. I mean, you shaving cream. Yeah.

But they'll just repurpose it as ball shaving. So you had like a fucking slick fish like, bro, I had like baby balls until like 17. Shave your balls. I would shave everything. But how do you shave balls? It took a while. I'll say that. I never shave my balls.

I would say that. It did take a minute. But you get it done. Shave your balls. Like buzzing. Oh, that sucks, dude. Bro, it just bleeds. Yeah, it bleeds a lot.

It's like a head wound. It is like a head wound. It's fucking insane. It was, there's a lot of bleeding and blood involved. Speaking of balls, it was actually a story that came out this week where there's a couple being investigated because they snuck into the upper deck of the Oakland Athletics baseball game and filleted each other. Not each other.

One of them did fillate on the boy. The girl sucked the guy. Girl did suck on the guy. Wait, they snuck in? So where the Oakland Athletics play, I'm pretty sure it's the old Raiders Stadium in Oakland. And so they have a whole top row and their fucking team sucks. They haven't drawn more than like 5,000 fans in like 30 years. That's not true.

Maybe like 20. Giambi. Okay. 20. Yeah. They, like, so it's all blocked off. So you like, when you look at the stadium, you look at the top and there's just dozens of seats, the hundreds, if not thousands of seats that are never filled.

And sometimes they cover them with like banners. And someone went all the way to the back, back, back, back, back, top, top, top, top, top and got neck, neck, neck, neck, neck, neck, top, top, top, top, slurp, slurp, slurp. Yeah. So now it was during a game to fire. So now that they're being investigated, they're trying to find out who, who was, dude, what's going on with the world? You can't even get sucked at a baseball game anymore.

Listen, baseball is the sport where people are the most afraid of change. It's America's pastime. If you can't get nip-nobbed in person and in public, you know, what is freedom? In a section where no one can really see you, bro. You're really high up in the air. Like, yeah. And like, I know it sounds out. I know it's illegal.

I know it's an issue. I think performance of a sexual act is like lewd conduct or some shit like that. But like, how do you know? What if she was like legitimately like, you know, choking? Yeah. And she needed help. Well, she might have been choking. Something needed to be dislodged.

She might have been choking. Well, yeah. It really depends on. Have you ever done anything, you know, at a baseball game, at a sports game? Definitely not. Definitely not. No. It's kind of a gross environment.

Also, I'm not the most appealing, I know. Yeah. Yeah. At a sports game, especially the teams that I like. Yeah. Like, if you were to go to like a Giants Eagles game, one time I told a woman to shut the fuck up. It was great.

Wow. Well, that's not the first time. Definitely nailed it. Definitely not. Nailed the shot. I told this woman. I was like, shut the fuck up. It was great.

That's it. But I never saw her. I just heard her. Gotcha. It was cool because you can't attach the mean act to the person's face so you don't feel bad about it. As far as I know, as a woman, I'm judging by the voice. That was it.

You are presuming their gender, which actually probably get you thrown in jail right now. But this was some time ago, but we were in the upper deck at MetLife and it was a Giants game and this woman was screaming like bloody murder. And then eventually I was just like, shut the fuck up. I've done that like once. And everyone clapped. I was like, yes. I've done that once at a movie theater and it didn't get a good reaction.

You told someone to shut the fuck up? Someone was just not talking or like they had their phone out. I can't remember exactly what it was and something along the lines are like, the fucking movie is on. And like, it didn't create like a yeah, like a unified front, you know, like no one was pumped that I did that. They were just like, damn. They're like, who the fuck said that?

I was like, no one fucking eat my popcorn and I just like kept it quiet. Bro, actually the last time I went to whatever Marvel movie was like, maybe it was Spider-Man. Like recently. And I went to it was Spider-Man and I went to a show and there was these kids in the front row that I was worried about because they were younger. They were like, maybe like 17, worried about them like just not shutting the fuck up. Oh, I thought you were saying like their health. Like, no, no, no, I was worried about them just like ruining it.

You know what I mean? Gotcha. Gotcha. But they actually don't care about them. You care about how they can affect your enjoyment. A hundred percent. They were strangers. Okay.

But they, but they were like gatekeeping the entire movie. It was hilarious. Like anyone who says, shut up. Oh, really? Yeah. Really? Fuck these kids. Yeah.

Damn, that's kind of aggressive. But there's that famous clip where I think it was when Force Awakens came out and people were in the theater and like someone was talking as like, like opening crawl started and you know how it always starts with like a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Like it had that and pop up and someone was like, oh, and then the cuts down and someone goes, can you shut the fuck up and then as they like, literally as they finish saying it, you just hear the back up and the place went fucking nuts, dude. It was like perfect timing and everything, but yeah, man, this is, listen, obviously

we don't promote lewd conduct in person, but like how dope, how dope would a baseball stadium be if they were like, yo, you can watch the game and rent and rent like a private little like room to watch the game like a suite. You know how you can rent a suite, but in the suite, you could do it. Right. Because that'd be fire, dude. I mean, yeah, I'd also be concerned actually now that I think about it. Well, you'd be like, oh, all those suites are orgy.

Yeah. Well, you're at a male, like also the people that are in suites usually are like coworkers. Well, I'm like, you know, it's like your boss if you could get like, if it was like a conjugal room, but you're not in prison, you know, right? I guess an Oakland athletics game is like prison. Yeah, probably very similar. But like you can rent like, all right, hear me out. Hear me out.

Hear me out. Yeah. Baseball GM's. I know you listen. Brian Cashman, the Oepstein, the other ones, I can't know, I can't name any make, give the stadium like a row of suites and they're in like a, like a room that has like a blacked out window, tinted window, that's what I'm looking for there. And you're like allowed to like do whatever you want in there.

I feel like you could do whatever you want in a suite anyway, just going to the bathroom. Well, what I'm saying is like, you, like it's meant to be like, yo, the only thing I would say though is a little weird if you're straight man, like I am, and you're watching, you know, say the Yankees, which is by the way, all men, yeah, and then it's like you're getting your rocks off. Well, I mean, you put a naked woman in front of you, I think that kind of trumps the baseball game. Well, I think the ratio is what would be concerned.

Stretch. Yeah. Take me out to the ball game. Take my balls deep in your big, gold, gamey punch and your big, old, gamey punch. Yeah. Yeah. I, I would think though that like the ratio, like if it was, you know, three guys, one girl, that can even out a little bit.

Hello. There's like 40 fucking men on a field. Right. And your one partner might not line up. You know? Yeah. But there, I wonder if there have been stories of like professional athletes. There are.

Well, yes. Are you going to say that like during the game? Yes. Really? 100%. Someone recently told me, told me. Yes. Said that.

Guess what I did. That they used to have sex like in, in the, like they would, all right. Get back to the dugout, like play the outfield, wherever it was. I don't know who it was. Like Daryl Strawberry or something like that. Who would you know? Go to the, no, I didn't know, but they were saying, it was like a thing that came out and like, yeah, I used to go into the clubhouse and fuck somebody and then come out.

Dude, that is intense. Crazy, right? That is absolutely intense. Wild. But kind of sick. Kind of fucking awesome. Do you remember like during, uh, like high school sports and stuff, your coaches would say like, no, Hanky, Panky, you can affect your game.

No sex before the game. No sex the day, a week before the game, it could affect your game. I mean, while I was like, I think we'll be okay guys. We're fucking 16. Yeah. You, but me, I was just like, come on coach, I need to, I would, I would say some stupid shit like that. But then I knew people that would take it like super aggressive, but they'd be like, that's

still like a thing. I think, right? Like T levels, like drop or something. I don't know. I, but why do T levels affect your ability to play sports? No, but just, I mean, the more testosterone when you're playing sports, the better I assume that's why people take like fucking TRT and shit. Well, I think they take that because it promotes like muscle growth.

But like if you're, if you have a low testosterone levels, that would be to your detriment as far as sports goes. I wonder, I think that's true. You might think it. I don't know. You know who? No, Josh. This kid is fucking teed out.

He does not take TRT. I know he didn't take TRT, but I know that he has testosterone. It's high testosterone. Um, anyway, I think spend a day on Xbox with him and you'll figure out that he has high testosterone. Oh yeah. Probably going to spend one today. We'll figure it out.

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basement yard where you can get more of us or us quicker. Well, not a lot of people might want that. I know it's been a problem for some people that they're always too quick. However, you want the basement yard quick, baby, you want us to only last a couple minutes for you. But go to patreon.com slash the basement yard. You sign up for that first tier, you get these weekly episodes a week in advance, so you get it on the comments, six days, jokes, six days, everything a week before everybody

else. And then on top of that, you sign up for that next tier, well guess what, exclusive episodes. Every single Friday morning that are a little naughtier, raunchier, grosser. This last week we put on shock collars and I quizzed Joey and well, I won't tell you exactly what happened, but one of us got fucking gang banged, like by the shock collar. Jesus. Bad, bad. That was a click bait in real life.

Well, one of us got gang banged. We didn't get gang banged in the literal sense. We got gang banged in the shock collar sense. So thank you, join today and we really, really, really want to get to 12,000 patrons. This is our first official announcement. When we get to 12,000 patrons, we will be hiring a makeup artist that specializes in drag makeup and Joe and I will be in full drag for a Patreon episode and we will also be doing kind of documenting the process.

So get us to 12,000 and we'll be doing that, that'll be, honestly, kind of pumped for that. I feel like we would look amazing. What? In drag? Yeah. So make sure you go tell your friends, tell your loved ones, they're giving the Patreon is a great gift for people if you don't know what to get. Someone that's a fan of the show, patreon.com slash the basement yard.

Thank you. Wow, beautiful Frank. I'm very good. I'm getting good. That's my only segment that I need to like do and I do it good, I think. Yeah. So also do a billion people tagged us in the, in the video of the guy at the baseball game and how your sister's tits, oh no, not your tattoo, now you need another, no, no, I got

pinched. Oh, there was a guy at a baseball game and he like shoved a straw through the center of a hot dog and then use it as a straw and like sucked the dog, sucked the liquid through the dog. This is taking dog sucking season to a new level. Yeah. And I have to admit, we're blurring the lines as well with gayness. I, well, whatever dude, I don't think anyone cares about looking gay anymore.

Well, I think there's like, I'm saying we're blurring the lines because this man is becoming like probably good at your words, fileting a man. Well, I mean, the best foods in life are phallic in shape. I don't believe that. I think some good ones are hot dog. Those are good popsicle also good pickles, okay, cucumbers. That's a pickle, baby corn, baby corn. Also pickles, baby corn, hot dog, like none of these are like the greatest food, a sandwich

a sub hero. That's not a dick shape. That is definitely dick shaped. Who's got a dick like a sub Pete fair. Every time we bring him up, he texts us like, he gets a influx of followers and he goes, I guess you talked about my dick on the episode today, huh? Yeah, we absolutely did. Yeah.

Yeah. What I'm saying is, I don't think it wouldn't care is how they look eating a hot dog. I think the point. People care. I don't care. I don't care. I'm fucking slutting it up. But do you think we should get hot dog?

We should do that hot dog straws, okay? But I mean, obviously we can't do it now. Tell him to bring him right now. He's on his way. Do you think that? What's that? What? What was that?

I was, I don't know what I'm doing. I was trying to do something else. Whatever you're doing. I was saying because of the show and its colors. The straw. That's not the straw. I was feeding a straw into a hot dog. You weren't doing this?

What was I doing? You were doing this. I was not going like this. You were going like this. I was not doing this. It's all right. You were pantomiming, jerking, something like that. No, run the tape.

I was feeding a straw through a hot dog. No, no. There was no fling. I was doing this. No, you weren't, dude. Yes, I was. No, you were not. You fucking liar.

Why would I be doing this? I'm not. Oh, I didn't say you were doing that. What was I doing? You were doing this. I was doing this? You were doing this? Yeah, I was.

No, you weren't. You were cranking. Whatever I was doing, dude. You were cranking. You were thinking about it. I wasn't thinking about nothing. It's okay. I was thinking about putting a straw through a thing and then I was going to ask you, do

you think it changes the taste of the beverage? 1000% when it gets sucked through ground oiled meat? You think it's good? Yeah. I don't know that I would like it. I would kind of love it. Maybe, maybe he was drinking a beer, too. Even better.

Hot dog beer. You're going to tell me, you're going to tell me you wouldn't be in shit and try on that. If it was water, I'd be disgusted. No, water you can't do because water has, like you'll just taste the hot dog. In the beer, you'll get a little bit of, it'll be like a beer flavored hot, hot dog flavor beer. Hot dogs, right?

Yes, sir. They're great. Yeah, I love them. But if you blended it up, did you drink a hot dog? Why is that so, you know what I'm saying? Why is that? It's got teary eye, dude. But why is that?

Like a blended up hot dog. First of all, the shit's already blended up. It is blended, confirmed to be blended. And then it's just like in a cock shape. It's not just in a cock shape, it's also in a casing. Joe. Well, that's what I mean. That holds the cock shape.

I'm aware of that. It keeps the walls in. If you blend this shit back up and it's liquid, now it's disgusting. Yeah, because it's like, when you think of a hot dog, there's a certain consistency and texture. You're thinking of the snap? I love the snap. You're digging the snap of the dog?

You buying a hot dog and it's like, right in your teeth? Your teeth. Like what I like is you get a little char on that dog. I know. So you get a little, like there's a little like baby crunches in there. Yeah. But I, listen, this has been a pretty like viral video. I have to say, I fucking love it.

Yeah. I haven't tried it. I haven't tried it either. But when we started the movement, Joe, when we came up with hashtag dog suckin' season. I mean, we did. We encouraged people to really branch out, to understand and explore, well, to explore the varieties of ways that you can enjoy dog suckin' season. We've got some good looking dogs sent to our way.

We've also had some dogs. Like the one, the peanut butter jelly banana one. What? You didn't see that? Oh, it was a peanut butter and jelly, about a banana in the middle? Yeah. In bread. And fucking amazing.

So I am tipping your cap, my cap to this individual that did this because it's innovative. It is innovative. Hot dog straws are going to be here by next summer. And guess what? No, they're not. Secret handshake foods. No, they're not. They're not.

I can tell you that. Um, innovative is not always good. For instance, our next story, uh, this is the title, youth in India have found a new way to get high. Okay. Which sounds cool. Getting high, pretty fucking sick, dude. We remember weed Joe.

Right. Joe was a big part of who you were for like four minutes. Pretty sick to get high. New stuff, everyone likes. People do enjoy new stuff. However. Are they getting high on like bat salts, like those crazy people down in Florida were? Nope.

They're getting high on flavored condoms. Yeah. So the youth in India. How? Thank you. The youth in India, um, which technically is the youth in Asia, euthanasia, but the youth in India. Very good, Joe.

Uh, they are soaking reported. Oh, young people in India are reportedly using soaked flavored condoms to feel intoxicated. The high can last 10 to 12 hours and can have adverse effects on consumers, mental and physical health. We know that folks. That's, if anything, that's what we're looking for. We're looking for some adverse effects. But this is the thing though that I don't know.

The condom cocktail. Oh, hold on. What? It said it can also be addicting, but they called it a condom cocktail. Here's the thing. We actually on a Patreon episode taste tested, uh, flavored condoms. We taste tested flavored lube. You remember that?

Yeah. But check it out. Patreon.com. When I put that condom in my mouth, I didn't feel good. No. So what are they doing that they're able to get high off of them? It says, when flavored condoms are soaked in hot water, polyurethane from the condoms is released, resulting in a cocktail that can go for high.

So it's just polyurethane. What's polyurethane again? It's a thing. So they're inhaling the fucking vapors? No, they're drinking it. Bro, they're drinking condom juice, dude. Polyurethane is a plastic substance used in everyday materials such as building insulation, carp parts, adhesive, um, bro, they're drinking condom juice.

They're making condom tea? They're making. Listen, I love tea. We draw the line at condom tea. It's flavored condom tea. Uh, they noted that, uh, the condoms are typically left to soak in the water for 68 hours before an individual would drink the water. So you put a flavored condom in hot water and you just let it sit there for eight hours

and then you drink that and you get high. It's only a matter of time before people start doing it over here. Bro. Who came up with this? This is how we, you know what? This goes into the war on fertility, okay? First they wanted to take women's rights away so that we can produce more children and now they're, it's going to come over here and people are going to be doing this.

They're going to ban condoms so people can fuck raw more. This is all part of the conspiracy. Where's Dylan? Dylan! I don't know if even those things line up. They do to idiots that believe in conspiracies, Joey. I know. But.

I believe in some conspiracies. Oh, like what? Here we go. I don't not believe in all of them. I think there's probably some that are like true. Like? I mean, I don't know off the top of my head. I'm just leaving the door open for the possibility that not everyone is.

Oh my God. This is Joey doing his favorite game where he just plays devil's advocate where he's like, I'm just saying, not all of them could be wrong. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. That's what you do. Yeah. But anyway, these people are harming their nervous system, their lungs and kidneys. Yeah.

Don't eat condoms. Just put them on your wiener and go to town. No, they're not. Eat condoms. You can if you want. Don't drink the fucking condom tea that they're making. You can't eat condoms. I'm sure there's been someone that's accidentally swallowed a condom.

Yeah. Well, they do that for drugs. Yeah, yeah. They do that for drugs. Well, yeah, they do swallow them, don't they? They shove them up their ass or they throw them in their mouth. I've always wanted to try to do that whole shove a condom down your throat, but I'd die.

I wouldn't be able to. What's up? You want it to shove a condom down your throat? No, but you ever see, I think they did it in Jackass or something where he'll take drugs and put it down his throat, but they'll shove it down their throat. I've always wanted to do that with something not deadly. Why would you want it for what? I don't know.

Just try it. And then shit it out? I mean, maybe. But well, hopefully, I guess, is the term I'm looking for. But you've always wanted to swallow a condom filled with drugs. I'm just like, no drugs, no, no, no, no, no, no. With some sort of substance? Yeah, like water, because if it popped, I'm okay.

Yeah. You know, but like, I don't know, it just always looked cool. You thought it looked cool to shove a condom down your throat? Listen, man, I was fucking sick. Joe, I was watching Viva La Bam on repeat, okay? I was putting Cura Cologne on from the, you know, PacSun store. It was a rough time in my life. Wow, PacSun.

Yeah. What was the other one where you bought like a bunch of t-shirts from? Not you, just like, in general, the people would... Oh. What was it called? Hot Topic. Hot Topic. It's still open.

Every now and then I poke my head in and see, like, what they got. Probably skate shoes. They have a lot of, like, licensed stuff now. Like a lot of wrestling. Marvel shit. Yeah. Marvel, DC, Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, wrestling. Chemical romance.

A lot of my chemical romance. A lot of, like, Japanese anime and stuff like that. You'll walk in and then you'll just be hit by a sign that says, like, you know, fucking... A track and posey! Yeah. And it's like, alright. Okay. I haven't been inside of one of those in a long time.

Well, when we were younger, Hot Topic was like the place where the goth just went. We're like, you wouldn't go in there because you don't want to hear the music while people wanted to fucking slit their wrists. Yeah. But, like, now you walk in and it's like normal ass people and it's like, yo, what's growing in? Like, growing up, you'd walk in. Did you ever have a pair of skate shoes growing up?

I did. Me too. I had air walkers. What was that? They were like skate shoes. Are they like DC? I don't think I had DC. I know you did.

I had DC. I know you did. And they had a fat tongue on them. They had big tongue. Yours were called air walkers? Yeah. I also think Nike 6.0s were skate shoes. I had purple Nike 6.0s.

You had air walkers? Wait. Yeah, I had air walkers shoes growing up. Oh, no. I had DCs. I used to go into journeys and be like, give me the fattest tongue on a fucking shoe. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You get the fattest tongue with the most padding around the ankles.

I remember I skateboarded for a little bit and then I got smacked by an adult and I stopped. What? Yeah. When did you get smacked by an adult? You were at the park and me and Keith were skateboarding and you remember the kid at them? Of course I remember at them. Yeah. And he was like 6'5".

I remember at them. And he was like 20 something. I remember. You don't need to explain it to me. I'm talking to people here. We're doing a show. Oh, you want me to contribute then? Bro, this guy was the biggest LeBron fan in the world.

Was he really? Yeah. He had, I remember he drove and like picked me up in his fucking Jeep Cherokee one day. He had a LeBron headband, a LeBron jersey, a LeBron undershirt under the jersey, LeBron shorts, LeBron wristbands on his fucking forearms and shit. Like yo, he's LeBron down. Still not great at basketball. Yeah.

Just tall. Also his brothers sucked. They were a wild gentleman. But him, we were all skateboarding together and then he got upset at something and he like smacked Keith's skateboard out of his hand. So I grabbed his skateboard out of his hand and I threw it into the street. And then he turned around and just fucking slapped me and I beat the shit out of you. No, he just slapped me.

I mean, that hurts more. It did hurt more because I was like, I mean, I'm definitely not going to fight this guy. Yeah, you couldn't fight him. So he fucking rocked my shit. And I was like, I just got slapped. Yeah, I got slapped by an adult once too. I was on the train. I told my dad and brother.

Don't worry. I told my dad. They went and reprimanded him. My dad apparently, and I won't say who, but found the guy and beat him up. Your dad beat up a man for you? Yeah. Damn, that's fire. It was pretty cool, but also like kind of hurt my because I was like with my friends on the train on my way home.

And this guy and the reason I remember we were on the train and it was the story of Boulevard Stop on the way home. I was like with like three friends. So I was like, you know, the coolest kid I could try to be. And he had a big bag on his back and I was joking. A guy? A guy. Oh, and I was joking that like there was a body in it. So I was doing like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, joking about kidnapping.

And okay, he had a hat like this, like a dad, dad had, I think they're called, but it was green and it was a Boston hat, a red sock hat. And I like poked it. And I guess he felt the poke on the bag, which, bro, this thing was fucking huge. You poked his bag. Yeah. Bro, if this thing was on his back, it was like this wide and I poked it like, like that. So he had super sense, you know, like he felt that. Yeah.

Bro, he turned around and he smacked the dog shit out of me. And I was a random man slapped you on the train. Yeah. And I was like, why do I, I never heard this. I might, I tell stories all the time. So it's possible that you just forgot because I talked too much. But bro, this guy smacked the shit out of me. And I tried to like play it cool.

Like the doors closed. I was like, what the fuck, you know? And then I called like, I called, you know, they were all like, are you okay? And I was like, yeah, I mean, he's fucking lucky. I'm sure like I try to be fucking cool. And I called my dad and my dad was like, where did this happen? And I told him and he's like, who do they look like? What do they look like?

I told him. And then my dad was like, all right. And then he, I spoke to him like the next morning and he was like me and so and so took care of it. I'm like, what happened? He's like, he says sorry. And I was like, oh, okay. Yeah. Your dad went home and just like sat on the couch, dude.

Yeah. He might have. He might have. But like, I also, like there's a part of me that thinks he did that for me because, you know, I hope my dad would stick up for me. Yeah. But there's the more realistic part of me is probably just how old, how old are you? Bro, I was like 13, 14.

And how old do you think this guy was? Mid to late twenties. That old. Yeah. Like he wasn't young. So it would be like you slapping a fucking 13 year old. Yeah. Like fucking liar.

And I gotta be honest. I've seen some 13 year olds that need a fucking smack. Do you? Yeah. Hey man. I mean, as long as you, I mean their dad might come looking for you. Yeah. It's tougher now.

They'll record me. But like, you know, back then no recording. Bro, if I was 30 years old in 2005, I'm smacking so many teenagers. So many, bro. Yeah. I got hit by a car once, but we're going to, we're going to get to that. What? What?

I'm going to tell you. It was actually a funny story. It's actually a really funny story. I don't know if I've ever said it on a podcast before, but I did get by a car kind of. All right. We have more sponsors on the show. This one being prize picks. Prize picks is a cool game that you could play.

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Yeah. How did, like, was it like one of those where like you were leaning up against it and they were like, fuck you and drove off and you kind of like did one of those? Yeah, I, so I wasn't leaning on a car. I was going, I had rollerblades on and I got hit by a mirror. Like, I didn't get hit like fucking sent. Bro, you didn't get hit by a car. You got hit by, you got sideswiped. Fucking relax.

All right. I got hit by a car. Stop making yourself sound like this fucking like people. I didn't get hit by a car. People before, people before you did those ads were like, oh my God, like, is he okay? Like, did he like, is he like, is this recent? Like, is he all right? No.

You're fucking, you click baited people. You piece of shit. Little bit, but listen, I did get hit and it was by a car. You got hit by something that was attached to a car. That's like me saying that like someone with their hand out of window hit me and I got hit by a car. Wrong. Yeah.

That's what you're saying. No. That's exactly what you're saying. I was on my rollerblades and a car drove past me and the fucking mirror like hit me in like the arm in the back and I went down and the guy slammed on his brakes and he got out and he's like, please, please, please. Really? Yeah.

He was like, I'm sorry. Whatever. And I was like totally fine. That's when you go down, dude. Well, I was like totally fine and I was just like, but for some reason I was like, I don't know. This would feel nice to get some pity here. Yeah.

So I was like, ah. Yeah. Just like you described before. Oh shit. I'll be on right. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Yeah.

So he hopped out of his car and he was like, please, please. And he gave me 50. He's like, I'll give you whatever I have. And he had 50 bucks and he gave it to me and I was like, all right. Jamie, you got 50 bucks for being hit by a mirror. Yeah, it was fire. I wish. And I was totally fine.

I just went and got like Subway or like pizza or something. That 50 bucks did make it through the night. You probably went super hard on those mints with Keith. Bro, Keith used to buy those spear. They're fucking incredible mints. They are good, but you can't eat a lot of them. You got diodoodle. You got diarrhea.

Cha, cha, cha. Cha, cha, cha. That's right. That's the stupid fucking name your mom gives it. Watch it. I didn't say your mom is stupid. You have said that numerous times. Not today.

Yeah. Your mom is not stupid. No. I don't think my mom is dumb either. Contrary to what you tell me all the time. Yeah, okay. No, the only person that I think is dumb sometimes most of the time is my dad. Right.

But I don't think he's dumb like a dumb person. I think he just does and says dumb things. Which would mean? He's my father. Well, okay. We're all that's alleged too. Have you ever seen a DNA test or? Um, took a DNA test.

Turns out I'm 100% that bitch. That's, you're getting like four minute time out for that. Like, what am I supposed to do with that? Come on. You lined it up. I'm a Lizzo boy. You're a Lizzo boy. I like Lizzo.

Do you like Lizzo? Yeah, she's pretty cool. She don't give a fuck. I'll tell you that. What do you mean? She doesn't give a shit. You know? She's got her butt out.

She's fucking like, she's like, oh yeah? Watch this. She's got her ass hole. Yeah. Oh yeah? Like you think I look gross? I don't care. I fucking love me.

It's like, bro, fucking good on you, man. That's great. And she makes, Shady makes bangers, dude. Shady. That song. Um, what's the name of that song? Uh, don't tell me. Don't tell me.

Damn it. Turns out 100% that bitch. Clang, clang. No. No. No. Is that not it? Clang, clang.

Is that 100% that bitch? Even when I'm clang, clang, clang. Clang, clang. Where are you getting that? No. Is that not it? Frankie, it's not clang, clang. Okay.

Uh, uh, give me a hint. I'm gonna, I'm gonna just start reading the lyrics for you. Okay. Let's take a DNA test. Turns out I'm 100% that bitch when I'm writing clang, clang. Where are you getting clang, clang? What? It's, it's read it to me.

I just took a DNA test. Turns out I'm 100% that bitch. Even when I'm crying crazy. Is that where you thought clang, clang was? And then you thought the name of the song was clang, clang. You're actually close because the name of the song is Truth Hurts. How are those that close? They're not Frank.

That's the joke. Clang, clang. I cannot believe that you thought the fucking name of the song was clang. I thought, because I thought in the chorus it was like, why man great till they got my clang, clang. What does that mean? I don't know. It's why are men great till they gotta be great. Okay.

No clang. So what's the name of the song? Truth Hurts. Yes. Okay. All right. I was a little off. Forgive me, Joe.

I'm not in, I'm not on TikTok. Frankie, you just have to be a person like a citizen of the world. That song was big that year. Not big enough. You thought it was called clang, clang. I didn't know. I knew this song, but like I heard it. Why are men great till they got a clang, clang.

I don't, I don't, what, like I didn't know if that meant like they got to like pay up. You know what I mean? Like they got to like live up to the dreams, the standard. Like why is, why are they great until it's time to like, you know, put their money where their mouth is. Clang, clang. I don't know, man. I don't know.

You're going to tell me there are songs that you know and you know you're singing the wrong lyrics or you don't even care to learn the right lyrics. Many songs. Exactly, Joe. So like I was good with clang, clang. I respect Lizzo as an artist and like to her, she made the song clang, clang, which is a hit. Yeah.

I mean, you're just making up stuff now. No, not. I'm saying like at that time. She clang, clang. She like, that's like, it doesn't matter what the name of the song was because like it did or what she was. She clangs. She was clang, clangin.

That shit clangs. We'll use that. What? If something is like doing well. It does. Clang. Maybe put it on a shirt. Does it clang?

Clang? Does it pass the clang test? Does it? We'll add that to the clang dynasty. Yeah. It doesn't clang as much as the virtual rapper that you were talking about earlier. Yeah. We were talking about that.

So my understanding is white people got together and do what they do. Just try to disrupt the, you know, the piece. Was it? Was it? We were having a good couple of weeks. White whites? You don't know that. I don't be a racer racist.

Yeah. I don't know if it is whites, but it feels white. It feels white. So actually, honestly, it feels more Japanese than anything. Okay. That's wild that you just said that on this episode. You're someone's going to have to edit that out. I feel like when it comes to like, like, uh, technology, any sort of new technology,

I just assume comes from Japan. Yes. Yeah. You are correct. So this feels like. Okay. Regardless, not people of color and they created, whoever created this rapper, it was like using word, like it was, it's rhyming and rapping off of like algorithmic like output.

Whatever the fuck that means. Like they put like, what do you want the song to be into an algorithm? And it fucking tells you, you don't remember, you don't remember when people were doing that? No. Well, regardless, they did it and instantly started using the N word, dude. It was a white rapper. I don't think it was a person of color. Well, first of all, it was a fake rapper made by people regardless of their color.

If it's not made of people of color, like made by people of color, don't use the terminology. Oh yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? And like instant, like, like the first song was just like dropping n bombs hard. So just like, just dropping them, just like being like, yeah, I'm not real. I don't care. How bored are we?

Someone sent me an article of two virtual influencers who are just like cartoon characters, basically, that have Instagram accounts and there's multiple of them out there. One of them was like a pig boy. I remember, we had talked about it. Do you remember that? Will you get in trouble if you bully a virtual influencer? Bro, you don't have to. They fucking had drama between them.

The article was about like, you have to read this drama between these two virtual influencers. No, no, no. They were fighting over a guy. Hear me out. A real person. No. They were all fake. All parties involved were fake.

They were fake and they were having a beef. So it was an orchestrated beef between virtual influencers. What are we doing? We've gone insane. What are we doing? And I'm going to get a nosebleed and put a gun in my mouth to put the gun in your mouth and then just save me a fucking bullet or I'll put my mouth behind your neck and shoot once.

Why? Why are we fucking with this? Like why do we need to do this? I don't know. How seriously? How are we? Dude, even before that, like I said, there was a pig boy that you can follow that was like a virtual influencer.

He had mad followers and he was a fucking pig boy. Just talking like a fucking boy, but he was a pig. Listen up. I don't, I legitimately live my life with love. I lead with love. I try to love every person I meet and see. If you show me a virtual, like one of these like virtual influencers, I'm going to bully them so hard because it's not wrong to bully something that doesn't exist yet.

I'm sure eventually it will be, but like, bro, how, why, why are we doing this? Like why can't we just figure something else out at this point in time? Like why can't we be putting the resources into like fucking understanding renewable energy and not, you know, dolls that can talk and think for themselves and fuck each other on the side. I mean, I think that people just need to go outside and shoot a basketball. Yeah, I know. You forgot something though.

That's where I sit, bitch. You just, we're sharing air in here. Yeah. So what? Just an attempt. So what? So what? You remember that song?

I do, but is there a clang in this or? There's no clang. Okay. I believe it's a field mob in Sierra. I remember that. What's it called? So what? Very good.

There was a, there was a verse that I used to say when I was in middle school, because I felt cool because I was talking to like three girls at one time. Do it. And the song, he says, I'm a slut. I'm a hoe. I'm a freak. I got a different girl every day of the week. And you believe that, didn't you?

You changed their names in your phone, didn't you? One of their names was Monday. One of their names is Wednesday. The other one was Friday. It wasn't, isn't that true? This is all me speculating. I have no idea, but I'm assuming this is what happened, isn't it? Judging by the silence.

I will not confirm nor deny. Nailed it. Okay. I absolutely nailed it. I will not confirm nor deny. You're a slut. You're a hoe. You're a freak.

You have a girl from every day. I have a different girl every day of the week. Got it. If anyone was changing anyone's names in my phone, it was you, you son of a bitch. I was doing that. Joey would take my phone once every three months, change every person's name. And then not tell me who was who. For instance.

The only reason why I did that is because you changed my seventh grade girlfriend's name to mine. Yeah. And then you would text me and act like my girlfriend. Yes, I would. Which so what? I mean, at least I wasn't a virtual fucking rapper dropping the n-word. Yeah, that could be worse.

But still. It could be absolutely worse. But no, absolutely, you would change. For instance, he changed one person's name to nice, thick, chinstrap asshole. You needed to know this person had a thick chinstrap, which thankfully I did and also understood the reference. Right. But like there was also someone that you named like Omega nine.

I don't even know who that is. Yeah. There was a girl in high school that I was like had a crush on and had a crush on me. And her name was Opal. Now I remember. And what does Omega nine mean? You called her. Omega.

So Oprah Omega nine Oprah. That's what you would call her. That's what you called her. So you changed her in my phone to like Omega nine and I like I understood it. Right. But also like it took me a while. Well, we're gonna do. I was having fun.

You were having a good time. Yeah. You can really do that on my phone because you didn't you only had like shit. Yeah. And you had just like your friends. You didn't have any girls you were talking to get numbers. You would get aim and my space. That's where Joey operated.

That's where he ran his fucking org. My what? Oh, my organization. You're you're you're a fucking Ponzi scheme. Yeah. Joey would put like, oh fuck, bro, you were such a conniving little sneak on fucking aim and Instagram Instagram my space that like you would do some shit or like it would be so subtle.

But like I knew exactly what you would be fucking doing. Like there was like say hypothetically complete hypothetical name. There was someone whose Instagram name was like Italian Bella with like a wink. Okay. You would follow them and then put a wink in your profile name and they'd be like, oh shit, it's fucking Joe. That's what you did. That's what you would do.

I would do that. Yeah. I don't remember that at all. Yeah. There was also I remember that feels like something you would do. No, because that was a fucking piece of shit. Okay. I and then it was also a time where I remember that we would like our friends were afraid

and they might not tell you this, but I swear to God this would happen. They might tell you our friends were afraid to bring girls around because Oh, here we go. You would friend them on my space or whatever and then like you would just like subtly just like like a picture. No. And then like all of a sudden they were like, whoa. First of all, that's not a real.

I'm telling you. It's what happened. I know why you're bringing that up. What happened? No, no, that why? Because my girlfriend at the time left me because you fucking played manhunt and hit with her. You bitch.

First of all, Frankie, when you said Frankie, when you talk about that, we talked about this enough. Frankie, when you do that, though, you, you look at you. When you do that, you leave out so much shit and just make me look like an asshole. Well, I leave out Joe. Oh, Oh, no, 13 year old you is a piece of shit, Joey. I wasn't a piece of shit. Welcome to the club.

We all were miserable in assholes. You're miserable. So you're trying to bring me down. I'm not miserable right now. I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life, bitch. Okay. Well, you're retroactively being miserable and you're bringing me down. Looking back at me at 13, I was a little fucking asshole.

You're being an asshole now. I'm being an asshole. Like I'm holding your 13 year old girlfriend's hand like come hide with me. That was not what happened. I know that's not what happened. I never said that. They don't. Who cares what they think, Joey?

Me. Okay. Okay. You're not the one. It was Joey. Being buried here. You didn't. You didn't.

Bro, I bury myself every fucking episode at least three or two times. Okay. I sit here and talk about how my fucking dad didn't stick up for me and lied to me about it. Okay. I sit here and I talk about... Shut up. I talk about I'm using songs.

Using songs. I'm saying slotho freak different girl the day of the week. I know. That's who you are though. What? I don't know. I'm like... No, but that's also bullshit because when you're talking about like our friends who are

afraid of it, that's interesting. But... What are you referring to? It is true. What you're referring to is one incident where one time it was either Danny or Dominic mentioned some girl who went to St. John's and she friended me. And you liked her picture. And I liked her picture and they were like, oh, I like seeked her out and sneakily went.

That's not what happened. Not what happened. I'm telling you, it was a conversation. They might not have looped you in because they, you know, they didn't want to. I'm letting you know. I was immediately looped in. I just want to let you know. It was a conversation.

Yeah. Everyone likes to fucking do these little tricks. They do look and do little tricks. Okay. Fucking bitches. No, you obviously didn't steal my girlfriend. And even if you did, you know, you're being nice. Fuck you.

Steal my wife. I fucking dare you. I'll kill you. I'll gut you at the fucking throat. I don't think that's an expression. I'll gut you at the throat. But yeah, I think we can end that there. All right.

I'm starting to sweat. So it is. It is hot in here. FAlvors8085 on Twitter to Frank Alvors Instagram. Go check out the patreon patreon.com slash the basement yard. We get 12,000 Joey and I are going to do drag full drag, full drag. It's going to be fucking awesome. We cannot wait.

So the quicker we get there, the quicker we get in drag, tell your friends, gifted to your friends, tell your loved ones, they're canceling a little bit of student loan debt. So maybe you have a couple bucks and you should probably spend it on yourselves. But if you want to treat yourself a little bit, patreon.com slash the basement yard. Thanks again. And you guys can follow me at Joe Sanagao and go follow the show at the basement yard on TikTok and Instagram. And that is all.

See you guys next time.