The Basement Yard - #363 - Leonardo Dicaprio's Dating Pool

Episode Date: September 12, 2022

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Welcome back to... I was gonna say, Santa Claus Studios, this is not what I was gonna say. Welcome back to the basement yard. It's all the same thing, it's all the same thing. Welcome back to the basement yard, Frank. How's it going? I love your shirt. Thank you so much.

Nuffaluffagus, one of my favorite Sesame Street characters up there in my top three. Just another one of your adult shirts, but I do like what I was gonna say there. All right, hold on. This was purchased because of my daughter's birthday party. We had a Sesame Street birthday party. Did you wear that one?

Yes, I did. Oh, I don't. She loves Elmo. She's a big Elmo fan. Well, aren't we all? One of her first words, Elmo. Wow, before Dadda? Well, Dadda Elmo come hand in hand,

so fucking careful. I don't know how that... But, and I, you know, got my snuffaluffagus. Miles was a cookie monster. Of course. Obviously. He loves cookies. He's a big cookie guy.

And I don't know if Becca wore one. And if she did, I forget, and I'm sorry, but... That was the whole thing. That's why, yeah, that's the whole super interesting story I have. Perfect. Guys, before we move forward to this episode, I just wanna again plug everything in bagel hot sauce.

We sold out of the first fucking order that we had. Did not expect it to sell out that fast, so we were sold out for a little bit there, but we are back in stock, and it will be hard to sell this stock out. Trust me. Yes. And we got another order coming behind it.

So go get yourself some more of the everything bagel hot sauce and try it if you have it already. Frankie is like a... Give me a little bump. Give me a little bump. I'm already all, I bought five bottles. I gave one to some of my family. Not like, they all got one.

Right. And then I need to buy more for the rest of my family and then more for me, because I'm already out of two bottles. Right. So I used like, every now and then, I used like a little bump ski. I...

Did you put crack in here? No, I did not. I put... God. God! He's not in here. He's not. I just made everything bagel hot sauce chicken

the other night, and it was fucking good, dude. What did I put? I put this on a chicken sandwich the other day and then Becca made me an egg sandwich. Oh, penis. Penis was out that day. Oh yeah. Penis was out that day.

But yeah, I mean... The only thing is this, right? So I make chicken in the air fryer now, right? I do too. Yeah, so... You bread that bitch? You dredge it? No, I don't.

Dredge that shit. Dredge it? Yeah, dude. I just try to keep it regular chicken. But the only thing is, if you're gonna make it... If you're watching your boyish figure, you fucking... It's no you idiot.

Bitch. So when I made it with that sauce, I just had all the chicken on a cutting board or whatever, and then I put the hot sauce on it and I just kind of like mushed it up, and then... Yes. You had raw chicken on a wood cutting board? No.

Okay, we're making progress, Joey. So I did all that, and then I put it in the air fryer. Dude, when you open the air fryer, watch your eyes. Yeah, yeah. The spice has hit you. Especially with hot sauce. You're basically, it's like mustard gas coming out.

Yeah. The sauce definitely molested my eyes on the way out. Listen, obviously I'm not only a shill because you're my best friend, but also because you're my employer. I highly recommend this stuff. Yeah, it's really good. So make sure you go check it out.

Go to heatness.com or we go to secrethanshake.shop to get it, by the way. Everything bagel hot sauce. Or just type it in at Google, I'm sure it'll show up. This is a challenge. You're saying we can't sell out of this restock. I bet we can, bitch. Well, maybe.

I bet we fucking can. I will support anyone here that let's just get it all done together as a community. People go on fucking Kickstarter and get thousands of dollars for people that are sick. Let's just fucking do this. That's go fund me. It's not, that's it.

Kickstarter. I mean, Tomato Patato, you know? They're very different platforms actually. They're kind of similar. No, they're not. They're kind of, kind of, kind of. I don't know about all that, Frank. But I wanted to start today with a story.

Yeah. So coming close, everybody. That honestly sounded like a priest. I wanted to start this mass with a story. The story of Abraham. This isn't, trust me, this ain't church. And I went to a water park. The water park, the DreamWorks water park,

it's like called like the wetland or some shit like that at the American Dream Mall. You went to the wetlands. I went to the wetlands and the metal lands. I've driven by it. I've never been inside. Yeah. It's pretty fucking nuts.

Like it's huge, bro. Insane. It's an indoor water park. It's like the largest one on the fucking northern hemisphere or some shit or whatever it said. When you gotta break things down by hemisphere, we're going a bit too far. I forgot hemispheres were a thing till right now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just haven't heard that. Are we on the western or eastern hemisphere? What? Eastern. I don't know. I don't know. The west is like Japan, isn't it?

That's the west. I think it's all like a matter, it's like subjective because it's whoever came up with it first when you like you consider yourself the center of it. There has to be an answer, I believe. I'm sure there is an answer because it was created by the whites. Also, longitude and latitude?

Easy. Do you remember those? Long ways. Yes, and latter. What does that mean? Latitude is like a ladder. Oh, I was thinking just like. The rungs of a ladder.

When I think like, I think lateral. Oh yeah. Well, that's probably the- You thought it latter? Well, that's how I fucking pass earth science, bitch. Don't fucking talk about me like that. I got 95 in earth science. I've had every other science I've ever had,

but earth science, 95. Earth science was a bit easy, I have to admit. Bro, the rocks, that was crushing the rocks. What are the three types of rocks? We've gone over this. Sedimentary. Yup, sedimentary. Ignis.

Ignis and obviously the last one, my favorite one. Your favorite one. The easiest one. The easiest one to remember, Joey. We're gonna say it at the same time. Three, two, one. Are you gonna say it? I'm gonna say it.

You don't know what it is. I know what it is. You don't know. What it starts with, what does it start with? I'm asking you. I know what it's like. I know what it's like. All right, we're gonna say it on the count of three.

I know what it starts and ends with. One, two, three. One, two, three. Metamorphic. The idiot, obviously. That's the easiest thing you've ever asked me. Give me a type of metamorphic rock. Three, two, one.

Marble. Marble. See? This is so, I mean, do you have any questions? Any other questions? I know rocks. Yeah, I'll do you, okay. All right, what kind of rock is pumice?

Pumice? Pumice. No, that's, no. No? Pumice, it's not that you're lying. No. But maybe the pronunciation is off because I know how to pronounce things correctly.

Pumice doesn't really sound familiar. Oh, okay, you know, like the rock that people scrape their feet with in the bath and we're at spas. It's called pumice. Yeah. What are you asking me? What kind of rock is it?

It's a, that's a metamorphic. No. All right, well, you know. It's igneous, Joe. Well, we didn't really study the rocks that we use as humans. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. You just know that there are three types of rocks.

You don't know which ones fit into which categories. All right. Whatever there is. Well, how are, you, obviously you guys went over how igneous rocks are created. Yeah, by the earth. Yes, yes. But specifically, it's, we'll say it together.

It's the rapid cooling of magma. Well, yeah, that and lava. Well, also technically the answer to all of this is, God, God, yeah. Which is what I was going to say, is that God made all these things. God didn't. And technically, if you want to say lava, sure.

But when we go, when we go up the ladder, it really gets to God. Yeah, I mean, exactly. Like everything that happens here is under your umbrella. Everything that happens on earth is under God's umbrella. So. 95. That's what I got in that class.

Okay. But we went to the, bro, the water park is fucking ridiculous. It is absolutely insane. And the worst people in the world go to water parks. Like. A lot of butts. There were butts everywhere. Everywhere.

Man butts, lady butts. There were butts everywhere. But what I'm saying is, it's just like, it's people are just like fucking fiends in these places and water park. When was the last time you went to a water park? Was it Splish Splash out on Long Island? I don't know.

The last time I went there. Was it Lake Compounce? That place was fun. Have you ever been? I've never been there. Wow. That place is super fucking fun. I think the last one I went to was probably,

wait, no, I didn't even go to one in like Disney or anything. I don't know. Damn. It's a lot of fun. The people there are just fucking psychotic and just are always running for everything, even though there's a signs that say don't fucking run. Yeah.

But the story that I'm telling for the sake of the episode is we were leaving. It was me back at miles. You brought him for his birthday. Cute, cute, cute. Did you paint your face? I didn't paint my face. Loser.

I didn't. Shrek was there though. Shrek? Bro, Shrek was there. Cause it's a DreamWorks fucking. What kind of Shrek? Shrek. Full head Shrek.

I don't know why. What does that mean? Like he didn't, it was not like a guy who painted his face. No, no, no. It was full, full on Shrek. Full on Shrek. Full on Shrek.

And we're walking out and Becca's like, look, before we leave, I just need to take a picture with Shrek. We're like, all right, cool. We're walking and Shrek. She drinks too? What the fuck? Hey, don't you fucking.

Just saying. My wife wanted to see Shrek. Yeah. Wanting and needing are two different things. They go hand in hand sometimes. You son of a bitch. Okay. And we're passing by and like Shrek is like fucking

basically sprinting and being held like by a handler. And they're, and he's like, Shrek has to go guys. We like stopped. We were like, oh Shrek. And they were like, Shrek needs to go. He has dinner with Fiona. Yeah.

The shit's so bad. Bro, so bad probably. And it was super hot in that place. But as we were leaving, there was a photo booth. He has dinner with Fiona. That's what he said. He's like, he has dinner with Fiona. And we were like,

do you think they pull out the hot Fiona or the big green ugly one? Bro, they were trying to make a statement. They're bringing out the gross one. Yeah. You know, I don't mean to show my cards here, but human Fiona. Human Fiona.

A little more attractive than a little, dude. Ogre Fiona. Hot Fiona is gonna catch this work. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, you about it? Yeah.

And it really depends on setting with the ogre Fiona. Cause it's all not that bad. I mean, she's got, she's bigger than a bowl of molasses. Let me tell you. Yeah, dude. Yeah. So I'm not saying she's gross,

but like I would make. Would it be my first choice? I'd have one preference over the other. The human. But as we're walking out, they have the photo boots. You know, the ones that print out like the fucking, you know, strip of photos.

So a photo booth. Yeah. You know, the ones that- Bro, so we, cute. Take our photos. Adorable. They get fucking printed out outside. But by the way, why do that?

Why not put them out inside the thing? That's a whole other. Yeah, privacy. Bro, someone left their pictures in the photo booth thing. So Miles goes to grab our pictures out of the photo booth and it has our pictures. And he goes, oh, who's this? And it's a picture of a guy sucking on a fucking titty.

Fire. And I was like, what are they doing? And what are they doing? You know what they're doing. I don't know. I don't know. Bro, you see a sucking titty. You know what that is.

I don't know if Miles has grown up enough to understand what was going on in that. Come on, he used to do it. He used to do it when he was a little baby. Fucking his sister's doing it right now. You are not wrong. I actually didn't think about that until the very second.

He knows sucking tits. Bro, this, and it wasn't like dumb. He was like, oh, I don't know what I'm talking about. It wasn't like someone, you know, holding it out. She had her whole fucking, she, bro, she took one tit out and held it with both hands like a, like a fucking tear duct, like a tear drop.

She held the whole thing like a gun. Like a fucking, like she was firing rounds off. And he was just like, and no. Was it open mouth? He was open mouth sucking. That's fire. Bro, and Miles was like, what's going on? And Becca and I started dying laughing.

Did you say having to do it? No, we left it there. Bro, I would have took a picture of it and told everyone. No, that's hilarious. I can't do that. It's like my child picked this up and said, what are they doing? That's so funny.

I mean, the story is enough for me. What if, like, I always think of like the movie, like No Country for Old Men, where they like just like find like a briefcase of money. They take it and the guy goes on a rampage looking for him. Yeah. What if this guy is like, who took my titty sucking picture?

Well, don't they print like five copies or two? Oh, okay. So clearly the guy printed one and then took it and left. They took, they're like, oh, cool. We got it. Left fucking one behind as a souvenir for somebody. So we didn't know, what were their other pictures? They're like, you know, and then like, and listen.

That's weird. We took pictures in there. Yeah. There was no, it was literally three, two, one, go. Three, two, one, go. Yeah. There was no time in between second and third picture to get titted out.

So they were working quick. I've never done something like that in a photo booth, but I would like to try. You're gonna fuck around in a photo booth? Well, you can't like fuck around, but definitely like suck a tit in a photo booth. It sounds fire. Bro, this person was like legit,

like they were sucking tit for like for a purpose. Like it wasn't like a cute, like, haha. Yeah, it wasn't a joke. It wasn't a joke. I'm gonna suck this whole tit off. It was like, yo, we have three seconds. Give me your tit, watch what I'll do. Fire.

And usually those things are done on the go. Like you don't really plan your poses. You don't. It's more like a funny- So she was probably just like, yo, I'm dumping. And he was like, I'm sucking. It's more, yeah. You know, it's like, and you know, it was his idea too,

because she clearly looked panicked. I mean, did she? She was, well, she didn't have much time. She didn't have much time to get that tit out. She did. She's probably a mom though, because this is very motherly. You think so?

To feed it into a mouth. You know what? It would actually- This is like more like, I'm 20-something. But where, if the child is still breastfeeding age, where was the child? I'll tell you where. Not in those fucking pictures.

I mean, these are people that are sucking tits and photo booths. I don't think that it's beyond them to be like, hey mom, can you watch the baby? We're gonna go suck a tit. You know what, you're not wrong. The water park. The morality game is not being played

when you're sucking tits in the middle of the American dream. I'm not saying morality. I'm not saying they're bad parents. I'm just saying sometimes people like to have a little fun. Oh, I'm not saying that. Well, how old were they? They were in their late 20s, early to mid,

I would say 25 to 35. That's 10 years, Frank. Yeah, that's a good- You couldn't get an idea. Like they looked around our age, is what you're saying? Bro, bro, bro. Remember what you were saying to me the other day? 13 year olds look like they're 25 now.

Remember how passionate you were about saying that the other day? Frankie, when you- How come every time you do one of those jokes, it's always about pedophilia? What the fuck? You were just saying this, bro. You know what's funny?

Yesterday I made a joke about someone being a Nazi or something. I forgot what I said. Online? No, no, no. To perfect, like persons. To in a group chat. Not my-

The group chat? No, don't even start. Okay, all right, I just wanted to make sure. But not like the main group chat that I have, but a different one where there's a bunch of different- A different one that I'm not in. Yes, go. A bunch of different characters.

You're not in it for choice. But so there's a lot of- I don't know if that's real. So there's a lot of different characters in there. And I made a joke about someone being a Nazi or something. Oh, I said something about- This was when, you know, you heard about Sidney Sweeney?

Yeah, did I? Her family is- Her and her apart. Yeah, like they had a ho down for her mom's birthday or something. And then like her grandma was in the back wearing a Trump hat. And it's like, all right, whatever.

Yeah, did you see like the memes of like her dad? Like you saw, remember in the boys when he's a, Homelander's watching a movie like this? Yeah. It was that meme. And it said Sidney Sweeney's family watching her take back shots from a black dude in Victoria. I was fucking dying.

I was like, God damn. It didn't take 20 minutes for that shit to pop up. Someone, I did see someone post a picture of her brother and he was in like a full like cowboy sort of look. And they're like, this dude definitely watches his sister sexy. I was like, ew. I forgot, please.

I don't remember the name of the heavyset Greek comedian. He's like a fact Greek comedian. He's fucking hysterical. I forget his name. What? I don't know. Okay. But he posted, he's like, I for one am shocked

that Sidney, yeah, that's Sidney Sweeney, a blonde white girl who works on classic cars as a Republican channel. No, but it was like during that. And I like made a joke and I was like, I was like, honestly, her grandma could be a neo Nazi, but those bags, like I was just like joking around. And then one of the people in the chat were like,

Oh, they took the moral high ground. No, they said even more confusing. We're like, you're like obsessed with Nazis. I was like, what? I was confused by that. I was like, I was like obsessed. Like, yeah, I saw a clip from your podcast where you were talking about Hitler's dick.

I was like, oh, I was like, he's like, I know he said, I saw a clip of you were talking about Hitler recently and now this. And I'm like, I was talking about how his dick was trash. Not that his politics were like sick. I was like, one, and two, what a weird comment. Yeah, that's weird. It's like, yo, you're obsessed with fucking Nazis.

And I'm like, are you upset that I make a joke about it? What's happening? And that's why you're very defensive. Yeah, I was like, I almost, I gotta be honest, from what you're saying, I almost know who it is. You would have no idea. Really? You were so, I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?

Regardless, that is a weird thing to say. I mean, then they shouldn't watch the show because wait until they hear I'm obsessed with the fucking Christian religion we are. Yeah, I'm turning the Nazi shit up, by the way. But where was I going? Oh my God, I was gonna tell some other story, though, that was not related to Sidney Sweeney at all.

You started with Sidney Sweeney, and I think you were- Photo booths. Photo booths. Let's go back to photo booths for a second. Yeah, okay. One time, not that anyone pulled their tits out, but there was like a little, like whatever.

Yeah, the fake pulling in tits out. It was my cousin's wedding. This was like fucking 10 years ago, maybe, or like seven years ago or something. And all the, they don't print the photo booth, I think. Oh, maybe they print it- Is it like the wedding one? Yeah.

They print it right there. They print it, but then also the bride and groom get all of them. Gotcha, okay. So they could look through them or whatever the fuck? Yeah, they digitize them. I think it's like you can leave like a video too. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it was like one of those things. Or that's what I think it was. It was a photo booth, but it also was like a video that you can leave for the bride and groom. So they're going through it, and all of a sudden they sent our entire family this thing. It was just two random people. No clue who they were.

No, and they like left a video being like, yeah, we crashed your wedding and it was fucking sick. Hope you guys don't mind, like, whatever. It's fucking awesome. That's pretty awesome. Yeah, it was like this couple. I was like, damn, that's fire dude. People need to be-

Bro, would you crash a wedding? 100,000% I would do it. Me too. We've spoken about this. I've actually, since I'm back on Cameo, the Frank Overs, people have on Cameo been like, yo, like we want to seriously invite you to a wedding. Yeah, but that's not crashing.

I know, but like- It's not crashing. But they don't invite us like they're gonna come. It's like, oh, it'd be, we're getting married and fucking, you know, whole-boken. It'd be hysterical if you showed up. Just can't get door in. And then we'd just fucking show up.

Because you know who would be happy? The one person that invited us. Yeah, right. You know who would not- Who the fuck is that? Everybody else. Yeah. Because that would be like,

bro, think about it like this. Like if we crash- Open bar, the open bar. Open bar is tough. I 1,000% think before we die, we should just crash a random wedding. It has to be so good about it. And what happens?

You just get like thrown out. You don't get like arrested, do you? Is it trespassing? I don't think it's trespassing. Unless it's like, you actually might be trespassing because if you're not meant to be on the premises, like at the fucking venue,

you could probably get in a little bitty, bitty, bitty trouble. So like the venue might be able to say like, they weren't supposed to be here. It's trespassing. But like you just need to pick a rad venue and just like people that just like- A big wedding.

Like definitely. Like a big wedding and it can't be too serious. Like a Hamptons wedding, I think it's so easy to crash. No, I would say not a Hamptons wedding because that's people that- Those are rich people that don't even like know who's there. No, but that's-

Bro, rich people take the fucking weddings hyper serious. You need to go to like a fucking, you know, like a random venue on Long Island that has like four weddings going at once. Oh yeah, that. And then you just walk in. And then they're like, oh shit, I'm sorry, I'm in the wrong thing.

If you get caught, if you get caught. Not even that. Oh shit, wrong. Not even that. Just walk in and just like, the first thing you need to do is you need to go right to the bride and groom and congratulate them.

That's the first thing you have to do. Because if they- If people see you interacting with them, they're not gonna question it. I guess. Then you have- I'll just go to the bar, chill, wait for like a song

where a lot of people out there are dancing. No, because then you stick out like a sore thumb. People are gonna look at the bar because that's where people go the most, Joey. They're gonna be like, who the fuck is this? No one looks at the bar. They'll get the dance floor.

They see who they can make- No one looks at the bar, dude. No one looks at the bar. Are you nuts? People are looking at the bar and in the wedding all the time. I don't look at the bar. Yeah.

I look at the bar when I'm making a beeline for it. I need another. Which is quite frequent. Every eight minutes. Yeah. I think that's what you should do. And we should do that. We should definitely crash our wedding.

And if they have one of those photo boots, it's going down. Dom and Lisa's wedding, they had a photo booth and I have two dozen pictures from that wedding. Do they? Yeah. Did they? Yeah.

I don't remember. I do remember walking out and they had like a pop, or cotton candy machine or something. Bro, they went all out. And the parting gift was a bottle of wine. I didn't get a parting gift because I was, I had to leave early because I was too drunk. I took the shuttle back

because I was a groomsman. Oh yeah, that's right. But I remember, so the parting gift was a bottle of wine and like Pete and Aspo and whoever like took an Uber back to Australia. And to open the bottle of wine, they took the headrest off of the Uber driver's seat. Genius and put it through.

And just push the cork in. That's genius. Have a drink. Absolutely genius. Yeah. I was like, wow, that's amazing. It's so, drink it. Yo, what is it about?

Nevermind. You go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. Go, go, go, go, go. I was gonna say something and I'll say it. Drinking brings out the most creative fucking law breaker in you. I was gonna say, there's something about drinking in a car. Yeah.

No, listen, obviously I don't, not driving, not driving. Yeah. Cause that's not fun. But sitting in the back of a car, I remember one time it was my cousin's 30th birthday. He went to his party, it was out on Long Island and I had my car. My mom was like, I'll drive you home.

So I was like, all right, I'll drive there. This is when I had my BMW. It was a convertible. What else about your awesome BMW, Joe? But there's a point to that. Awesome German engineered convertible. Good. So top of the line, fully souped.

No, but my mom was driving us home and I got hammered at this thing. And then we're like, oh, we're going out. We're going to a bar or whatever. And I'm like, in the back seat and me, my cousin, and whoever else is in the car, we're just drinking, which is super illegal in here. Very, don't do it.

With the top down. And my mom's driving with my car and I'm posting it off my Instagram story. And it was up for like 10 minutes. And I was like, that's a horrible ice cream. You know what's even worse? To talk about it on the show. Yeah, I mean, you know, statue of limit,

I don't know what the statue of limitations is on drinking in a car. It might be. You're going to have to prove it. I could be lying. I'm making it up. He's 100% right. It's all hearsay at this point in time.

Can't take this show as an admission of guilt. If you did, we'd both be in big time trouble. Yeah, I've said some stuff. Yeah. No, yeah, I, in a, like, I don't understand why you can drink in a limo and a party bus, but not in a car. Like, no, there has to be a partition.

All right. So there isn't on a party bus. There is, there is, there is. Sometimes some, some party buses do have a partition. Some don't. But like, I don't, it might also be illegal to drink on a party bus. We might be kind of working ourselves into a corner here.

What's the point of getting a party bus if you're not going to drink on it? The idea is to dance and get driven and fall over onto people. I know that's the cool part of it, but I'm saying like, I don't think the purpose of it. But like a limo, bro, people drinking limos, like it's like known.

You see a limo, you're like, people are drunk in that thing right now. Limos suck. I don't know. I don't agree with that there. I don't like limos. I like limos. I haven't been in one in a long time.

Last time I was in a limo was. Probably Dom's wedding. That's a party bus. I thought you guys took a limo. No, it was a bus. Oh, okay. It was a big ass bus. We took it to fucking Times Square.

Yeah, that sounds like I'm hammered in Times Square right now. I've never been drunk in Times Square, but it sounds like a nightmare. Yeah, no, it's sensory overload. But the last time I was in a limo, I left like Espos hockey game and I told him like, when he went to NYU.

No, no, I know when he played hockey. No, I know, so listen. Why the fuck were you in a limo? Because we left, he was playing it, I think it was like near Chelsea Piers or whatever. And we were walking, and like the bar we were going to was like walking distance. It was like a decent walk, but whatever.

So we're walking by just like on the street and I see a limo and like if I'm pretty chatty when I'm out in the wild and like I saw this guy in his window was down and I'm like, oh, I'm asking for a ride. Yeah, there's no, you have to at that point. And I was like, yo, do you, and there was just me, Eric and Espos.

That's it. So you have all three levels of chattiness there. Yeah. Well, like Espos doesn't talk. You who's medium chatty and Eric who will fucking talk the paint off the wall. But we pulled up on this guy and we're like, yo, do you want to drive us to this bar?

Like how much to drive us to this bar? It's like, it wasn't even a mile away. It was like a half a mile away or something. And he was like 40 bucks. And I was like, no way. And I started walking away. He's like 30 bucks. I was like, get in.

You told him to get in. No, you told the other guys to get in. Yeah, I was like, get in. That was your limo. And we took a limo, fucking nine blocks for $30. It was just hilarious. Honestly, you know what I want to do so bad? Just get a limo and just drive around Manhattan.

Don't go anywhere and just drink in the limo and bring maybe like a little pee bottle or two or three or four. Bring a pee bottle? Yeah. So you could pee in it, you know, because when I drink, I have, once I break the seal, I'm peeing every 20 minutes. There's no-

You would rather be in a limo than a party bus? Kinda, because a limo, it's cool to sit in. Standing up is the evil part of the fucking party bus because the moment they make one turn, you're getting your head smacked against a window. No, bro, in a limo, you can't move around. You want to talk to the droops. What do you do?

Bro, limos have the big back seat and has fucking seats along the side and a seat all the way on the back. That's why you always see people crat. Anytime you hear about or see something in a limo, it's someone crashing down with a fucking bottle and just enjoying the time of their lives in a New Year's Eve fucking 1998 hat.

Yeah, like that's what I want. I would like to have sex on a limo. That would be cool. Yeah, that doesn't sound cool. Really? Yeah, why, dude? Because it's like, that feels luxurious. Does it?

Yeah. It feels like it is the most basic thing that everyone else in their life has probably tried. Dude, I don't think that people are in limos that often. Bro, you're gonna tell me that, I'm not saying most people go in limos often. I'm saying the people that haven't in limos, you think they're not trying to fucking-

I think people are trying to get blown everywhere. Exactly, but what I'm saying is that's the most basic thing. That's like going to fucking, kissing the Blarney Stone when you're in Ireland. Like everyone does it. It's become like a thing at this point in time. I honestly don't even know what that is.

It's this fucking stone that people pee on in Ireland that people go and kiss for good luck. People knowingly kiss this thing full of piss? I think the tourists don't know it's full of piss, but the locals have like pretty openly like discussed like are we peacing on it all the time? We're peacing. Yeah.

I have to go take a piece. That's actually a good way to like get back at tourists. Yeah, it's really show them. That's why New York City completely smells like piss. Yeah. Hey, you can't get it back at a tourist if the whole place smells like piss. I saw actually, it's funny enough, a New York City story.

One of the girls that I met in Meekanose is from Fidai. She just posted on her story this morning. Last night at 5 a.m., a homeless guy decided to set on fire, all of the garbage in Fidai. Nice. Giant fires. It looked like a scene out of a Batman movie. Bro, I just fucking...

I believe it. I've been in Fidai multiple times for work. She pans fires down the street. Yeah, it's fucking nuts. It's kind of awesome. There's also a lot of garbage on this. But honestly, set fire, burn, eat the rich. You know what I'm saying?

If anyone's gonna get their fucking fire all over the place, it should be in Fidai. AKA Phil's, you guys not from New York. That's where they work though. The financial district. That's where they work though. Upper west side, that's where you're gonna start burning stuff.

Upper west is the high end? No, I think Tribeca is the fucking big money. Soho, those are more pretentious. Well, they're rich too. They're rich is rich, Joe. You all suck. I was like, when you said, like last time, before you were in your current place,

when you said you were looking for a new spot, I was like, God almighty, please don't be in fucking Manhattan. Please, please, please, please, please, please. I wanna have a car. I don't wanna live in Manhattan. You could have a car and live in Manhattan. You would just have to pay a thousand dollars

extra a month for a fucking parking spot. It would be at least like $600. For parking? 100%. Oh yes, absolutely. In Long Island City, my parking is 300. Ooh, and that's kinda honestly cheap. My parking now?

150. But you're also paying probably more for your place now than you were in Long Island City. Yes, but when I was moving out, it was the same price. Wow. So if we, so my apartment now is probably cheaper than what it is. The lateral move, basically.

No, no, no. I've moved into an apartment that was significantly cheaper when I moved out of Long Island City. Yes, into that other place, but like the place you're at now. Yeah, the place I'm at now is more expensive. No, it was like the same price. Oh wow. Well, you also had like two floors.

Three. Yeah. One, two, three. And the roof. That place was sick. I was actually listening to an old basement area episode we recorded in there and boy oh boy, wild.

I listen to old episodes not because I'm a narcissist, but because I try to get ideas for new Patreon episodes. And boy, what a time. Yeah, you're not a narcissist. Narcidist? Well, I might be a narcissist. Narcidist.

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I love that. Patreon on Patreon. I love that we call it petered out. Like it's just like you just give up. I've never even heard that term. You've never heard of the term petered out? Petered out, no. Like I petered out like you fall off at the end there.

Who's Peter? What do you do to deserve such ridicule? I have no idea, dude. I probably did something pretty bad. His popularity petered out. Just keep doing it. No, I have to stop. Yeah.

Anyway, big news. Leonardo DiCaprio and his girlfriend broke up. Now single Leo. Single Leo. He's gonna have so much trouble finding a new partner. I mean, listen man, some people have harder times than others. We've spoken about Leo quite a bit.

Obviously head member of what he has coined the pussy posse. The pussy posse. The pussy posse. Which is a posse of men who are gallivanting around town getting pussy. Yes, and quite frankly, he is the most rich and famous of the group. So I don't know why anyone else in that group,

they probably all like really clamor at the fact they call themselves that. It's like him, Kevin Connolly from Entourage, fucking like Toby McGuire, I think. A lot of people that I would not guess were in a posse of pussy. Well, yeah, Toby McGuire, I see him. I don't think, whoa, watch out,

Mr. Pussygetter's coming. Yeah. I would think like, who the fuck is this little dweeb that is trying to steal my chemistry calculator? So I think what we can do is kind of go through his girlfriends here and kind of maybe figure out what's going on. Because the big thing with Leo is that

he's never dated anyone 26 years old. Over the age of 25. Yeah, everyone's been 25 or younger. Which is weird, right? And he is 47. He's a 47 year old man. And he's been doing this since he was 24. This is the thing that confuses me.

Has he ever dated up? He's never dated up, ever. Well, because there is no up. What was he, 24, dating a 25 year old? No, well he could have. I guess. But he never, he never. So he's only dated women younger than him?

Yeah. That's weird, man. What happens when you're 18? So. I guess it's not weird if you're 18 dating a 17 year old. This all started when he was 24 years old. And he started dating? 20. No.

19. 18? Gissell. Gissell Buntion. Tom Brady. Buntion. Isn't that it? I don't know.

Gissell. It looks like Buntion, but I don't know that that's the name. I'll say that Buntion is a horrible last name. Well she's, she'scabe ready? What'd you say? She's to the back. What does that mean? She's the chuchcen Brazilira.

So Say she's talkies. Franky dated Brazilian, he could say that. I could say that, right? But when he was 24, he dated her when she was 18 till she was 23 and he was 29. And then he's like, no more. Then they broke up, probably, you know, some political differences.

No, let's see, if he's 47, he was 23, 24 years ago, which was 1998. No, 1999, he was 24, she was 18, that's when they started dating. In 2004, three years after 9-11, she was 23. Oh, shit. Can't do that, man. You can't, not on the day,

this comes out the day after 9-11. He had his dad was a firefighter, you can make those jokes. I can say that, my dad was a firefighter. You say it. He lost so many men. Then, when he turned 30, he started dating Bar Refielli. Don't know who that is, but it sounds like a pasta. Your Bar Refielli sounds like a delicious special.

So it's not on the menu, but we got a Bar Refielli that'll blow your fucking pits off, lady. Listen, as special for tonight, we have fresh Parmesan and a Bar Refielli, you gotta fucking blow your mind. So a Bar Refielli is served with a bone in, and then you put a little cheese on top and you fucking melt it.

And then for the right price, if you ask really nice, we'll do some fresh fucking lobster on top of the Bar Refielli. Yeah, and we're side of a bunchin'. It's just a bunchin'. But yeah, so then he broke up with her, and then he was like, fuck that, 23 years old, and he turned 30, and then he started dating 20-year-old. Okay, weird. Bar Refielli.

Bro, hold on, this is the part. When you think about it, it's 10 years, but honestly, it's only one decade. No, dude, that is a big 10 years. It's a one decade. Bro, look at you at 20. Look at you at 20 and look at you at 30. You think you'd be able, Joey at 20 would be like, yo, where are sluts and where, I need a four loco.

And then Joey at 30 would be like, I need a dry red. I need to discuss the business tactics and synergy moving forward. Bro, you would hate yourself. How could you, honestly, and I mean this across whatever fucking sexual orientation, your experiences at the age of 20 and who you are at 30. Why'd you say sexual orientation?

Because it's not only older men and younger women. It could be men and men, women and women, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, whatever. Wow, really inclusive. Jesus. This also applies to fucking lesbians, too. And ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, but you can fucking, it's just so different. Bro, 30 and 20 is a radical change.

It's big, but not as big as one of those drops are coming. So Barra Fielli, from 05 to 2010, big years there. That's 05 to 2010, okay, all right. It was worth the glory here. It's played a lot of manhunt in those years. We did, we did. I got my heart broken a couple times.

Me too, for sure. Yeah. So he dated her. From 30 to 35. 30 to 35. She was 25, then he was like, old bitch, get out. Oh. Then he dated Blick Lively for a year.

Must have been in between Ryan Reynolds. I don't know when they started dating. Yeah, because Ryan Reynolds, well, Blick Lively, oh, I'm thinking of different shit. Yeah, it was, because I think him and her met on the set or filming or something like that with Green Lantern, which came out in 2011. So he probably dated Blick Lively,

and then Ryan Reynolds came in, he was like, hi there. You know, his quick, little, you know, charming self. He's like, what do we have? You know, just, you know, being a Ryan Reynolds. Damn, you're fucking horny. No, you are, dude. No, I'm not. Look at you, you're fucking horny.

Not horny for Ryan Reynolds. Bro, you're horny. I'm not. So who's next? I don't know, you're horny, it's distracting me. But he dated Blick Lively when he was 36. Okay. She was 23.

Right, that's a big drop, dude. Big jump, but, you know. Women mature older. All right, wait, well, hold. That's not. Fucking shot, bro. Women mature older. Women mature quicker.

Right. So like a 23-year-old woman, you know. She's really 25. If you curve it, you know, she's really like 28. Okay. That lasted a year. And she was like. And then Ryan Reynolds swooped in.

And he dated Aaron Heatherton, who I don't know who that is. That's British, dude. He was 37, she was 22. 15 years. Bro, imagine right now, like put yourself, just put yourself in the thought process of trying to date a 15-year-old. No.

I will not do that. The fuck. Okay, next. Tony Gern. What? Tony Gern. How do you spell the last name? How I'm saying it, try to spell it.

Gern. Gern? Gern. G-Y-R-N. No, no. G-A. G. Yeah.

No, I don't know why. I don't know why I thought you would get it. It's G-A-R-R-N. I just Gern. Gern. Whatever. Tony Gern. So now he's 38.

And she's? 20. Dude, that's a lot. 18 years, that's a adult child. That's an adult life in between. That's wild. Bro, who? All right, hold on.

Two years, two. They gave her more than one year. I have a daughter. I have another one on the way. If at 20 years old, she said, here's 38 year old fucking multi-million dollar Leonardo DiCaprio. First of all, I'd be like, kind of sick.

But then I'd be like, no fucking way, dude. I'd be like, how did you meet him? Where were you? You're 20. Dude, 20 is still 18. Yeah. What? 20 is still 18.

Those people are like, I waited until, I'm dating a 19 year old. It's like, still weird. It's still weird at 20. 20, 22, 21 I think is when it's not weird anymore. Sure. Okay. But if my daughter was like, I'm dating Leonardo,

I mean, if my daughter said she was dating Leonardo DiCaprio, I'd be like, I bet she's 90. Come on, what are we doing? Because by that time. Yes, yes, you're not having kids for a while. Oh, you just get old quick. Bro, your daughter dates him at 18. It'll be fucking 70 or something.

I'm trying to think, what's the age difference right now? Who's 19? Who's 19? Do you know any 19 year olds in your circle? What are the, who's the? Maybe my cousins, no, my cousins are like 17. Bro, I'm trying to think of it like, and putting it in perspective of like our children,

like Ruby or Miles, Miles is seven. So if someone was 25 and dating Miles. I mean, it's worse when you do it like that. Cause it's not like, if you're like 26 and you're dating someone who's like 36, whatever. Still whatever, but it's not that crazy. But if you're 26 and you're dating a 16 year old, you're like, what the fuck?

Well, that's because the law comes into play. Sure. I'm saying it's still, not weird as much as it's like. As it goes higher, it gets less weird. It's hard. The big story, I remember the big one that came out years and years ago, where it was like the biggest thing was when fucking Ashton Kutcher was dating Demi Moore.

That was like the first story I could think of of like the people were looking at the age gap, like, oh my God. And like everyone was talking about it. She was like 40 some. And he was 20 Demi Moore. Ashton Kutcher. That's what I'm saying.

But I'm thinking about it like, bro, in a relationship, you want to fucking stand the person, be able to talk to them. If I'm a 40 year old, where I will be at 40, I wouldn't be able to talk and have a conversation with a 20 year old. Where I am at 30, I want to fucking, I wouldn't be able to do it with a 20 year old.

Yeah, that'd be tough, but he does it. I don't know how Beckett does it with me and she's in her 60s. Yeah, well, that's the thing. I think she might be senile. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. But Tony Garen, she was, she was 20. I think it's Garen, by the way.

She was 20 and he was 38. Bro, I didn't realize how old, I was gonna say, whatever. I thought, I didn't know Leo was that old. Bro, he was 30 in 2005. Okay. That feels like he's so much older than I thought. But gangs in New York. 20 and 21, when he started out, when he was 40.

So 2020, nope, that's not how it works. That's not how numbers work. This is the first time, ladies and gentlemen, this is the first time that he stopped dating a girl and then dated an older one. This is his first jump. So he stopped, so he didn't go lower on the age? No, I mean, he was at 21 for God's sakes.

How much lower can you get without getting in trouble? One, two, three years technically. Yeah, technically, but I mean, he's in trouble anyway for all this. But so, 2015, dated Kelly Rohrbock. She's an actress, isn't she? Beats me. The name sounds familiar.

I might just be- Rohrbock. She's an actress. Okay. Dude, Googled her name, all I see is cheeks. Okay. She's cute. What movies has she been in? Like fucking Baywatch, that kind of shit. They're all blondes, by the way.

Every single one of these people are blond, I think. Every single one, no brunettes. No, the newest one was- The newest one. You all fucking humanize them. They're people, Joey, Jesus Christ. You rich people. I didn't know her name.

You love to do this. Shut up. Then he dated her for a year. It was like, ew. So then he started dating Nina Agdal. Who's that? Model. Okay.

2016, she was 24. Then 25, then he was like, and then left. We're getting close. So he was like, he felt a little uncomfortable. Yeah, I don't think he likes women that- Why? Are on their parents' health insurance. He's like-

Yeah. Then they want to go on his. Yeah, he's like, no. And he's like, no, no, no, I wait way too much money to help you. That's the thing. And then she was 25. So he had two girls that were 25 years old

in this band of three years, and that really fucking threw him off. And he was like, I'm fucking finished with this. We went back down to 21. You think, you know what? It's gotta be, I'm telling you right now, he's gotta be drinking their blood. Because there's this conspiracy with rich people out there

that you guys are drinking the blood of the youth. You guys. And that it helps keep you feeling youthful. Although I will say this, if he is doing it, he looks like dog shit, all right? He does, he is acting skills still there. Amazing. But doesn't really look great.

No, but he's also 47. Yeah, but men are supposed, like the idea is like the societal standard is that men are supposed to become like a seasoned wine. You know, they get better looking with age. That's what I tell myself. And I can almost guarantee that people say that about Leo. He is not.

He's kind of looking a little not great. No, he was a very good looking man and then he wasn't, you know? He was good looking in Titanic. He's gotta be charming though. He's gotta be charming, absolutely, you know? But you know what else is charming? Camilla Marrone, yes. The fact that he's Leonardo DiCaprio.

And also. Well, sure, but everyone's, all of these people, all of these people, every single one of these girls, probably exclusively around this time was either hooking up with or dating people either as rich or a little bit less rich. But like at a certain point, it doesn't fucking matter. Anyone who has, who flies private

and goes to all these parties and invited to all these people, that's how these people work. Yeah, like what's the, what's the difference? So they're choosing him. What's the difference between 200 million and 150 million? You know, like. To them, nothing. That's what I'm saying.

It's 50 million, but like it's still a lot. But they wouldn't know. So then he dated this Camilla Marrone from 2018 to whenever the fuck. The other day. From 21 to 25. Bro, this is weird. And now he's back on the market.

So can he pull off, will Leo, I mean, it took a while to get his Oscar. Will it take a while for him to get his first 26 year old? Stay tuned. What's gonna happen next? Will he get another Oscar or will he date someone over the age of 26? I like to think that at this point,

you have a duty to keep a streak going. Like why, yeah, you know what I mean? Like why break it? You kind of like, you're living this lifestyle. Just keep up with it. I also think that he, like, I don't think that the age stuff should matter after 25. Like if you're 26 and you're dating a 50 year old,

like whatever, you're 26. You're not like, you're still like young. It's tough. But you're like, come on. Like do it. It's tough, it's tough. If you're at a 26 year old dating a 50 year old, yeah, that's just, yeah.

And it's not weird. Look, it's weird. People think it's weird because of like the age difference and like, sure. But it's more about life experiences. And I think what we're seeing here. Yeah, but you can experience life a whole lot quicker when you have someone who can just take you everywhere.

Yes, I agree. But that's not necessarily what's gonna help you build and become a better person during that life. I think what I'm seeing here is that Leo might be afraid of getting older and he's doing like, I'm not saying, he's like, you know, remember how like people, oh, hold on, follow me here.

People talked a lot about Michael Jackson. But remember when they would talk about like how he like always tried to like remain like a kid? Like he would be like, I'm not gonna do the impression. Like he wants to go on the Ferris wheel and like he wanted to watch movies and pajamas and stuff like that. We're not gonna talk about the other accusations.

Pajamas move forward. However, pajamas. John. Okay. Maybe Leo is just trying to remain feeling young. So like he hangs out and like where side word, you know, sideways baseball caps and he like talks to them like guys, like he's on TikTok and stuff like that.

I think Leo is just trying to remain feeling young. So I would agree with you if all of these women weren't super models or like very famous actresses. I think that he just thinks they're very attractive and he could still pull it off when he's gonna. Yeah, I don't know. There's something. At this point, if you have no plan on having children

and you're cool with that, and he probably is not, doesn't wanna have children because if he's about the environment, he's like, you know, the earth's gonna be a piece of shit in like 10 years. Yeah, why make a planet if everything is dust? So then bro, I mean, go ahead. Fucking data 25 year old, fuck I care.

Yeah, but there's something dark to this and I can't. Well, I mean, I mean. Bro, this is what people said about fucking R. Kelly and then three years later, they're finding out that he's running fucking rings of like keeping people from their family and shit. Well, so far there hasn't been any of that.

Is it weird? Is it weird? I don't know if it's weird. It's getting blurry. At a certain point, it's getting blurry. Yeah, I don't know that you could be in your 40s dating a 21 year old and no one's gonna be like, bro. But like.

Bro, in your 50s? Yeah, but like, this is what I'm saying. Like, but if you're dating like a fucking 25 year old until she's like 28 and you're like in your 50s, like you're just a rich guy who's like, well, you know what I'm saying? No. But like also those women aren't going to be pushing

for like marriages or children or anything like that. Like women in their 30s who feel like I need to start doing these sort of things. They have a biological clock. You don't have to deal with that sort of thing. So it's either he skips this whole generation of like 30 to 35 and goes, you know, for him way older than he would like

or he stays in this safe zone of girls who are just kind of like, yeah, I'm not trying to have kids or get married right now. I'm still young and I'm like, whatever. That's a good point. That's a good idea. I think that's why he's dating there because that's, and maybe that's why, maybe not though.

I think that there are like- Maybe it also has to do with like women over a certain, like, and I obviously know nothing about the women that he has already dated, but like, they're in a place where they're still like starstruck by like certain like celebrities and stuff. And like women that are a little bit more of a mature mentality would be like, all right, cool, Leo.

And they don't fucking gas him up the way these young women do. I don't know. I don't know, Leo. I don't know these women. So I don't want to say that, but it's a possibility. What I think is like, Leo could be like a chill dude, right? Like you don't have to be spectacular

because one, you're Leonardo DiCaprio. Two, everyone knows that you're very rich and three, you're just your lifestyle. The lifestyle that he lives is attractive to literally anybody. Guys. Literally anyone. This is Joey trying to reason with me.

So when he does it, I don't make fun of him for it. What, when I'm 50 dating at the point of no- When you're 50 and you just meet like a fucking like, you know, like she's 19, but she's really mature. She listens to a lot of Tom Petty. She smokes cigarettes for God's sake. She loves Tom Petty. She knows all Andy Warhol art.

No. That's what Joey's gonna say. He'd be like, bro, she read a book on Warhol. He'll be like, dude, we talking about this. That's not what I'm saying at all. I'm just, she knows all of Andy Warhol art. Yeah, no, I think that, I hear what you're saying. But I think he just doesn't want to have kids.

And he's like, no one's gonna push me to do this. But if you date like a 32 year old, he's gonna be like, bro, I kind of want children. Come on. Yeah. And he's like, nah, chill. I'd rather like recycle. Yeah, he'd be like, I don't want to give you kids,

but I'd love to get fucking plastic out of the ocean. Yeah. You know, it's like, where's your priorities here? I guess. I mean, who am I to judge? It's just Leo doing Leo things, I think. You know what I mean? It is kind of crazy.

That is a good bet though. If I had a sports book, I would put that on. It's like, what happens more, what happens sooner? He dates someone over the age of 26, or he gets another Oscar. Let's place a friendly bet between us. We need odds though. All right, I would say.

I think it's more likely that he dates someone over 26. I do. I think it's more likely that. I would say that's more likely too, but just for the sake of the show and entertaining the people, I'll go that it's, you know, the Oscar thing. You'll go Oscar? Yeah, I'll go Oscar.

So I have the other one, or you want to do it like, I'm just the bank and you have odds. All right, I don't know how to fucking do all this shit. It's like, we're gonna call my fucking bookie and we're gonna, he sent me a free steak. No, here's the thing. Well, let's just, you pick one, I pick the other. Whoever's right wins.

Okay. No, but you're fucking, you're crumbling inside. No, but there needs to be odds because if one is way more likely. We're not betting money. The loser has to fucking. No, we're betting money, bitch. Oh, of course, the fucking, you know.

All right, let's bet a hundred bucks. Frankie, you're not understanding. Because I don't know how to bet, Joey. I'm going to explain it to you. Okay, the odds are, also put your hat straight before I throw up. I'm Leo. God. It's me.

You look like a- I'll never let go. I'll draw you tits on a book in fucking Parchman, 1912. You look like a, like a, a 40 year old skateboarder. That's what, he's a 47 year old. He's like going out and he's like, you guys trying to do that TikTok dance the other day? Woo, broke a sweat.

Yeah. It's like, this party is lit. It's like, Jesus, Leo. All right, okay, all right. So I would say that it's more likely he dates someone over 26. Okay. So let's say that is the odds on favorite. So let's just say that's minus 200 then.

And we'll do the other one as even. 200? No, no, no. So the other one's even. So that meaning, are you, you're going to take the Oscar? Yeah. So then, and you're going to bet $100. So then you would win $100, but-

And then you're the bank. So if I lose, I give the bank. Right. But if you were to take the other one, if you're like, no, I'm going to bet that it's the, he's going to date a girl first, then you would have to bet $200 to win a hundred. Bro.

Because it's more likely. I'm betting that he, fuck you. How about that? How about fuck you in this whole process? All right, fine. We'll just say whoever wins gets a hundred bucks. Let's, yeah, from the other person. Okay.

And I have to wear the shock collar for an episode. Stop, no. Because that's an episode on the Patreon, patreon.com. So basically, we put those fucking things on, they sucked. And you know what's funny? We're not going to remember this, but they're going to remember.

Like, good. People always remember. Good, good, good. But we have to bet, does he win an Oscar or does he date someone over the, they have to be 26. They have to be. And like, he could be dating someone that's 25. And then they-

And it can't be rumored. And then they turn 26 when they're with him. And like, they stay with him. He can, yeah, that counts. That's cool. And it can't be rumored. It has to be like confirmed. Yeah, it can't be like, oh, Leo's spotted with fucking,

you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because people are spotted. They're hooking up the fucking- Fucking bitch, the man was spotted the other day. You know, it doesn't mean shit. Yeah. All I'm saying is he needs to be like,

it needs to like- Dating. We need to talk to TMZ and just say yes, they are dating. Yeah. Because TMZ is the reputable source that we're using here. Best company in the world, probably the most important one. I would say.

We need to know what celebrities are doing every second of the day, because that's who we care about. Oh, well, duh. Everything else is fake news, except for when it comes to celebrities. Then it's all real until proven otherwise. Right.

Which they, sometimes that happens. Sometimes they say, hey, RIP, and they go, no, they're alive. Yeah, the burden of proof is not on the celebrity here. It's on, well, no, excuse me, it is on the celebrity here. The TMZ will just say like, yo, I saw like, you know, apparently fucking Chris Hemsworth was out

and he like pooped in, you know, the hat of a young child. And it's like, I believe it until I don't. That was the story you made up, huh? You wanna know something? I thought of other things and I censored them. That was the censored version that came out. Perfect. Yeah.

All right, so I'm just gonna probably try to make this happen. Send a bunch of 26 year olds. Oh, you know, you should really talk to them. You know, a bunch of 26 year olds, you could send Leo's way, you fucking creep. No, I'm just trying to win. You know what we gotta do?

We gotta track his private jet on that website where you can track private jets. And we need to, wherever he is, we need to just like, just send an influx of like, people in their mid-20s there. Yeah. And see what happens. You know people in Mecanos now, you can make it happen.

Also, if he dates someone over 35, that's $200 you gotta give me. Oh, okay. And if he wins two Oscars before that, you got $100 for every Oscar he wins. $100 Oscar for every, okay, okay, okay, okay, I'm not with that. But he just never dates anyone.

And he never wins an Oscar ever again. Oh, then it's a push. Whatever that means. It means that no one gets paid. Yeah. But if he wins like four Oscars in between. If he wins four Oscars and before he dates someone, 26.

Before he hits anyone, 400 bucks. And if he starts dating, if we find out he's dating people that are 15, then we owe, I only owe 50 bucks. No, then we call the police. Yeah, that's probably the best idea, yeah. All right, I'm getting this betting thing. I'm figuring it out.

If he dates someone. It only took Leonardo DiCaprio's romantic life for me to get it. 35 and up, 200 bucks. 45, bro, 55? No, no, no. What if he starts dating fucking Betty? Oh, she already went.

Yeah, yeah, she did. What if he starts dating like someone like Susan Sarandon? That'd be fire. If he dates someone, if he ever dates someone older than him, you have to give me like $1,000. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I give you $1,000 every time I step in this fucking room, okay? Yeah. I'll do something else. I'll get, I'll be dating someone older than him. If he dates someone older than him. From the odds. I'll wear the shock collar for a full episode.

And money. $500. Frankie, it's not gonna happen. I know, but chill. You know what I did yesterday? You know what I did yesterday? I was watching the US Open in Medvedev. He's the favorite to win the whole entire thing.

He was minus 3,500 before the game, before the match started. And like he won the first game, not the first set. Just won, it was like one nothing. You have to get six to win the set. But at that point he was minus 6,000 and I put $500 on him to win how much? 20. $8 and 27 cents, and it, it.

So I'm richer today. Nailed it. You honestly were, you could have been speaking another language I didn't understand. I gambled $500 to win $8, essentially. Which is not something you did. Yeah, you need to be stopped, okay? Eight bucks, babe.

We need to figure out a way to have you see separations. I should have done it before the match. It was minus 3,500. I could have won like 16, though. Yeah, you should have. Fuck, you brought this the fuck up. Yeah, Frank, where can I find you? You could find me getting some more of this

secret handshake, foods, everything, bagel, hot sauce. Now back in stock. And F-Alvarez8085 on Twitter. The Frank Alvarez on Cameo, I'm back on Cameo and Instagram, go check it out and then make sure you go check out the Patreon, patreon.com.com. Facebook and Yard.

Yep, and you guys can follow me at the Joe Sanagato. At Joe Sanagato and go follow the show at the basement yard on TikTok and Instagram. And that is all. See you guys next time.