The Basement Yard - #365 - The New Coolest Way To Get High
Episode Date: September 26, 2022Joe and Frank discuss the new way kids are getting high! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Transcript
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Ha!
Oh.
Scared the shit out of me.
Welcome back to the basement yard, Frank.
I'm not wearing glasses indoors, but I'm doing great.
You don't have to make fun.
I'm not making fun. I'm saying that, like, that's a level of, like, energy that you're bringing today.
You like that, don't you, bitch?
Yeah, yeah. I'm not, I'm not so happy.
I peed in my car and it didn't go as it normally goes, which is pretty smooth.
This one went pretty rough and shaky.
You hit a bump while you were driving as you were peeing?
Of course I was. How other, there's no, you can't pull over and pee.
That's when people see. If you drive, no one's, like, caring about the people driving
and looking at the people that are pulled over.
I mean, you're, whatever, but you're, you pissed all over your car?
Not all over, but you pissed on your door.
No, what? Why would you immediately go to door?
Because you're right next to the door?
I am. No, just, just me and steering wheel.
Oh, you pissed on yourself a little bit?
I didn't change, but I, you know, I did what I now call is the Frank shower,
which is just you hand sanitize the area and it's done.
I mean, it's, it's urine, bro. It's sterile.
You could live off of it.
You're really not sterile.
I don't know why people keep saying that.
Because of the movie dodgeball.
That's right. Okay.
And who's the guy? Bear, bear, um,
Bear grills. Grills.
He's like, yeah, it's good.
And it's like, no, it ain't dude.
Can drink cake.
I don't think you can.
You ever see him like eat a fucking, he like ate like a cicada and he was like,
Oh, and it fucking spit out like puss.
I really don't want to think about something like that.
Oh, not with your glasses off.
Put them on and then Joe glasses.
Joe doesn't give a shit about anything.
Oh, wow.
You saw the clinch of that fucking jaw muscle there.
Yeah.
Do you ever let the Freddie Prince, Jr.
Does he have a pretty distinct?
He used to do that in all the movies.
It'd be a scene where he'd be like,
And then we would bite his jaw and I go,
Damn, this dude is fucking hot as shit.
Acting 101 right there.
I know.
Freddie Prince, Jr.
A lot of people don't know.
He was a writer for WWE for like years, dude.
Really?
Yeah, it's kind of weird.
But people said that I look like Freddie Prince, Jr.
That's actually a fun fact.
Not going down this road.
No, no, no.
We don't need to go down.
It's true.
And here's another one.
My wife and I were watching the Yankee Game the other day
and she looked at the TV and I go,
Hmm.
You know, a lot of people think this guy's good looking.
Giancarlo Stanton.
Bro, no.
And she goes,
Yeah.
You're going to tell me he's not a good looking person.
I was like, wait, so you find him good looking.
You find me good looking right in the middle there.
That's how you base that off of.
I bet she finds Jennifer Lopez good looking too.
Yeah.
That's a woman, Joe.
Yeah.
I don't look like that.
You're worried about pronouns.
You never know where we are nowadays.
He was.
You never know where we are.
I know.
You know, a couple months ago,
Yeah.
Demi had pronouns that were they, them.
Now.
Oh, Demi.
What the fuck are you talking about?
One of her first name basis, Joe.
Yeah.
Now, I believe.
Yeah, she flip flopped.
She's back to she, her.
Listen, are you allowed to flip flop?
I think it's like an Xbox gamer tag.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think you get, when you get reported the first time.
That's true.
Then you're good.
Then you can change it.
Yeah.
But like the second and third time,
then they need to be like, you know,
give us 10 bucks, 10 bucks.
Yeah.
Who's she paying to?
Who's the, who's like the king of like the LGBTQIA plus XYZ.
Wow.
That was super.
Is it IA?
Are you, did you make that up?
I wait, did you add that to be funny?
No.
No, no, no.
I think there's IA now.
I think, I think it could be IA.
I'm not even trying to be funny.
I'm not trying to be funny either.
None of us are trying to be funny on this comedy show.
Yeah.
No, no.
No funny.
LGBTQIA.
Yeah.
What is the IA?
IA means lesbian, lesbian.
I is lesbian.
No.
Oh no.
Get to the ones we don't know yet.
Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer.
Yeah.
I'm just questioning intersex and asexual or a gender.
Wait.
What's intersex?
I don't know.
It sounds German.
Intersex.
Yeah.
Intersex.
Yeah.
That does sound like a, like a.
Welcome to my club.
We all do finger stuff.
It's intersex.
Yeah.
It does sound like a sex club.
I also sounds like a big bean that could blow up the earth.
It does.
So intersex is, I'm pretty sure this was the name of the bean in the Austin Powers movies.
100%.
Yeah.
Boy, hot start.
Wait, what's the, what is it?
By the way, this is a weekly episode.
What is it called?
What is it?
Intersex is a general term used for a variety of situations to which a person is born with
reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn't fit the boxes of female or male.
Sometimes doctors do surgeries on intersex babies and children to make their bodies fit
binary ideas of male or female.
Oh.
So like, well, what didn't we used to call that like hermaphrodite?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I haven't read the word.
Once I haven't heard a word in like four years, I'm like, are you still using it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's like, if you haven't used it like in public or heard it in a while, just check
with like.
But Ciara or Sierra, why do I say Ciara?
Is it, I mean.
Ciara, I would say.
Yeah.
Ciara rumored to be intersex back in the day.
Also, I don't know if I'm making this one up, Jamie Lee Curtis.
I don't believe that one is true.
Me either.
What I recall, first of all, Sierra, 15 year old, me had quite the conundrum going on
in his head.
Bro, I was, I was fully ready to.
I was like, I guess I'm gay.
Yeah.
Because I was like, dude, am I, am I gay?
Yeah.
Because then I started fantasizing about that.
Sierra is just going on about her goodies and I'm like, awesome.
I watched that.
Not goodie goodies.
Goodie.
Multiple.
That's what I did.
I say goodie.
No, no, no.
I'm just saying all of the collective goodies.
Yeah.
I remember that one with Ludacris.
Oh, bro.
You remember Ride?
Oh, and Ride, the music videos were fairly similar because she was doing a quite a bit
of gyrating.
Yeah.
Bro.
Yeah.
The lady can dance quite well.
Yeah.
Um, I remember watching that and being like, damn, dude, Sierra, still a beautiful woman.
Oh, yeah.
But then people were like, bro, she's got it.
She's got a dick.
And I was like, I was like, me too.
I was like, me too.
We have that in comments.
It's like, wait a sec.
I was like, oh, well, I guess I, I, I couldn't look back.
I couldn't look past the penis.
Yeah.
And then I don't know where I came across this rumor, but Jamie Lee Curtis, I heard
back in the day, was also that, which I was like, she was also fucking hot to me.
Jamie Lee Curtis, another beautiful age, like a fine line, let me tell you.
Had a body on her.
She, she does.
I, I try to look past, you know, like the whole like activity of poop yogurt commercials.
What the fuck?
She does all those like yogurts that like make you shit your pants.
What?
She's like the activity.
She's the poop yogurt lady.
She's the poop yogurt lady.
Well, she was also in everything everywhere, all the time in inside, inside, outside, inside,
everywhere, all the once one, all the time, one, that one time.
Yeah.
And she was, she was good.
Very good in that movie.
And she's still, she looks exactly the same.
Yeah.
White hair.
No, I think, and I could be wrong, but I'm going to tits.
That was what I was going to get at.
I could be wrong, but I think the, I think she had, had some sort of breast, whether it
be.
No, she had bags.
Reduction or like addition.
She offloaded some of the bags.
I think like her, would it be sedition?
Reduction.
Reduction.
Reduction.
Are you fucking?
Are you serious?
I don't know.
Is a seditious act.
Sedition?
Is when you like get out, you know?
A breast sedition.
A breast sedition.
A breast emancipation.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No.
Yeah.
She had, maybe she had a reduction.
I have no idea, but she did have bags back then.
Yeah.
So I remember seeing Sierra and I was just like, bro, I was, at the time I was like, I got
20, 20 vision, can't see past these, you know, potential dick and shaft wouldn't even, wouldn't
even care.
Dick and shaft.
Yeah.
Which part of the dick to you?
If not the shaft.
The whole thing.
Right.
I don't care what the dick.
It's the dick shaft that people care about.
Not the head.
The tip.
Yeah.
I think people care about the tip.
I think people care more about the shaft.
You can have a miserable tip and a great shaft and you're flying high.
Do people have miserable tiffs?
Tiffs.
Where are you going?
Look at my hair.
Look at me.
Look at my hair.
I'm all over the place today.
F miserable tips.
Where are we?
Hold on.
Speaking about that, we have something written down that we needed to talk about that I haven't
looked up yet, but like, do you see this?
I can fix my hair.
What?
All right.
I got it.
Oh my God.
You have so much problems.
Do you realize there's people in other countries that like don't have hair?
That too.
Yeah.
There was a story that came out.
Never mind.
I deleted it.
No, I did.
I accidentally deleted it.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, wait.
I don't know which one was the, there's teenagers somewhere.
India.
I believe it might be India.
Just look it up.
Teenagers.
Let's just say India.
I'll send you.
You know what?
I'll airdrop you the link because I have the link right here.
Yeah.
But Frankie told me there's kids in India and if you don't know this about Indian dicks,
they're not circumcised.
Okay.
Neither is the rest of Asia.
Well, hold on.
You might be, you might be putting, you know, some really inappropriate context on that.
I may be putting some skin on some people's penises.
Yeah.
I don't think it has anything to do with where they're from as much as my understanding.
First of all, I'm just, I'm getting.
Borskin is a religious belief.
Is it?
I, I tend to believe so.
I don't think so.
I think it, I think it is evolved into a health thing.
It's, it's religious to Jews, but it ain't religious to like Catholics.
Well, I think it started as a religious thing and then more people or I would love to know
where that came from.
It was like God told me to cut.
To mutilate.
To fucking shave your dick.
Yeah.
With a straight razor.
It's just a shape up.
Whatever.
But yeah, I sent you the link.
So you should, you should have it in your via text.
I don't have.
You don't have, you don't have app.
You don't have a texting on your, on your computer.
You do.
I know you do.
I had, but I don't have.
I, I unhad.
You unhad it.
Oh, let me guess.
Is this some like fucking like super pro like when you're talking to other people and not
working, you miss out on fucking 800 hours of productivity.
No.
I had to scream record and I didn't want text popping up.
So I unhad.
I signed out.
That's what I wanted to say.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
You don't want people to see your super rich people group chat where you guys talk about
like, I guess we'll go to Bali.
No.
The opposite.
Okay.
The other chat being saying all kinds of shit.
Yeah.
They do.
They go all over the place.
Okay.
But there's people.
Where are they?
Dude, it's Scandinavia.
Why'd you say fucking India?
Oh, wow.
You've racist.
I might be the racist here.
First, the pronouns now this people are lodging nicotine pouches in their buttholes and foreskin.
Yeah.
I led with foreskin.
You just led with foreskin.
You forgot the back door.
I mean, that's the, that's the most tame of the two, I would assume.
Yeah.
And the fucking thing in your foreskin.
People get high off shit in their ass all the time.
What is it called?
Booping?
Yeah.
Yeah.
We blow coke in someone's ass.
Yeah.
But then also like, I remember I heard once that like people were like having tampons like
soaked in like molly water and shoving it up their ass.
Yeah.
That's, that's a little, that's a little much for me personally.
I mean, if I were a frequent of tampons, that wouldn't be that bad.
However, I don't and haven't used tampons.
No.
So you ever, you ever, you ever hold a tampon?
Like a raw.
I hold, I hold it like a fucking, like it's a needle though.
Like a syringe.
Yeah.
Like I hold it like, come here.
Yeah.
But like I'm saying, have you held one like, like one that's unpacked?
You know what I'm saying?
Oh, like, like it's been shot from the cannon already.
No, no, no.
Not like a used one.
No.
The cannon is the holder, Joe.
Oh, opened it up.
Yeah.
The butterfly.
And then you just hold that shit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Weird dude.
Weird.
Weird.
It looks like a cotton stingray for a bunch.
Kind of.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know what I, when I look at tampons, I want to light them on fire like they're dynamite.
Just watch.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?
Oh, but what were you saying recently that only if it was inside someone, you would do
that so they can explode?
That would be cool.
Can you imagine that would be a cool way to kill someone?
I have to.
Can you imagine?
See, if I was a very sadistic person, I would definitely get my hands on a stick of dynamite.
Where would get that?
I have no idea.
Joe, you are wealthy enough that you don't need to fucking look hard.
I'm sure I'll just go like.
Just tell your agent.
Tell her to be like, we won't say anything.
No.
No, but you get a stick of dynamite and you put it in someone's ass and you light it.
But you light it with a long lighter.
Like you want to light it like those like Wiley Coyote ones that like fucking like.
Exactly.
I'd be like the Joker.
It'd be like, I'll put it out if you, yeah.
You have three minutes and then like it just blows up in there and they die by explosion
and asshole.
What are we talking about?
All right.
Hold on.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, before you move on to this really important story about Scandinavians
putting dick in their butts.
That's not what they're doing.
Nicotine pouch.
Nicotine, worse.
Statue of limitations is a little gone now.
So I think I can say this.
Oh, what crime are you confessing to?
I can't confirm that I did this.
I know people that used to catch fish and put firecrackers in their mouth.
Wait, that sounds oddly familiar.
Yeah.
You did that.
No.
I know people that have done this.
Well, you know yourself.
So technically.
No, no, no.
Stop what you're doing.
Do you know who you are?
I know who I am.
Well then.
But in this situation, I know other people that have done this.
Okay.
Okay.
That put a firecracker in a fish's mouth and blew them up.
Yeah.
I mean, first of all, from my understanding, they were not like important fish, like dolphins
or fucking like cool stuff like that.
Yeah.
We know your friends aren't putting firecrackers in dolphins mouths and blowing them up, Frank.
It would like little like regular fish sunnies.
I think they called them.
Yeah.
So it wasn't like bald eagles.
No.
No.
Like a rhino or something.
Yeah.
No.
We didn't go get a white rhino.
I didn't say we.
I said they didn't go get a white rhino.
Oh, wow.
And do this.
You saw it with your eyes.
I didn't.
Did you see it?
Technically, I didn't see anything happen with my eyes.
You saw it with your hands.
No.
But it was from what I was like explained, it was quite the messy experience, you know
what I mean?
Blowing up an animal.
Blowing guts all over the place.
That's cool.
I'll be honest with you, right?
Mm-hmm.
I couldn't sit here on my high horse and say that's not fucking sick.
You don't have a horse.
I know.
But I'm saying I could sit here and say that's horrible.
But like if you put me in my 12 year old body, I would think that's fucking fire.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
I wouldn't do it now because I have children and I care more about living beings.
It really depends on the context too because I don't want some weird like, you know, shaved
head kid coming up to me and like a Metallica sharpie and like, yo, let's go blow up an
animal.
I'd be like, nah, bro.
If they look like they might like one day grow up to be a dumber or something like that.
I just, I would probably back away.
But like if it was like the cool kid in school, I'd do it.
I'd listen to him blindly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If you came up to me and you were like, yo, let's, let's go kill some fish.
Yeah.
I'd be like, yeah.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Exactly.
That's exactly my point.
Yeah.
That's kind of crazy though.
But I've definitely put salt on a fucking slug and watched it squirm, but we're going
to move ahead.
People are lodging nicotine pouches in their buttholes and foreskins for a buzz.
Health experts.
Of course they have to weigh in on this.
Don't, don't they always?
Yeah.
Fucking health expert.
AKA the party ruiners.
Yeah.
They warn people it can cause skin damage and lead to addiction.
Dude.
Two kind of cool things.
I would say one of them is a little bit cooler than the other.
I would say addiction is cooler.
Both of them.
Not cool though.
I would say addiction is cooler than skin.
I would say in this, I think in this, in this conversation, gotcha, gotcha.
What would you rather have?
Well, actually that's not true.
People would, addicts would probably say they'd rather have the skin issues than the,
you know, chemical imbalance that leads to addiction.
Fuck the dick.
Young people in Scandinavia are placing nicotine pouches meant for inside the upper lip in
their buttholes and foreskin to see if they feel effects.
Some users say their nicotine accravings disappeared while others say they only feel burning
sensations and get rashes and swelling.
Listen, I know we like make fun of people that do this, but hold on, now hear me out.
What if they are literally just like figuring out like how to cure this stuff and big, you
know, who would be the people that are in a big, big rehab?
Big rehab is saying like, no, that's not good for them.
Don't do it.
Right.
They're making money to have people go there and fix their addiction issues and other people
have figured out they've created a life hack where they just shove a small patch of nicotine
and tobacco in their penis.
I think that we should probably look at this as not too damaging, but honestly research.
Because how do scientists figure anything out, right?
They fucking, you get a frog and you cut it up and you see what the fuck's inside, you
know what I'm saying?
Always talk about how people, you got to experiment, they don't do their own research.
You know, we talk about these Twitter warriors and toilet bowl sitting scientists that say
I did my own research.
This is a prime example.
I'm not going to talk bad about these people outside of the fact that their dick now probably
looks like a fucking olive loaf and it, and it smells like a cigar.
It smells like the inside of grandpappy's fucking casino room.
Okay.
Fuck.
It smells like wet leaves.
It smells, you know what it smells like?
The golden nugget casino off the strip.
That's a good casino.
Have you been?
I've heard stories.
I've been.
Guess where I went to the Hooters in there.
Life was in a tough spot at that point.
Hey man, were you like dying to get food poisoning?
Well, I was in Vegas, so I was living with food poisoning.
Yeehaw.
Yeah.
I'm not going to knock on these people because they're doing the Lord's work.
What's the big difference between a scientist that's looking up ways, you know, to cure
indigestion and someone that's looking up ways to cure addiction by just shoving some
tobacco in their dick?
Yeah.
We don't know if they're trying to get high or if they're trying to like stop themselves
from being so addicted to tobacco.
And I mean, listen, if you got, if you got a couple of penis pages on your, you know,
on your willy tally, go for it, man.
I'm not going to, who am I to judge, you know?
You said extra pages.
Yeah.
Oh, I see what you're saying.
You know, that he's got a couple, they got an addendum in the front.
You catch my drift?
I understand.
All right.
That's good.
But also, I don't know how to say this.
Oh no.
Foreskin sucks.
Why?
It's, it's just like, it's wrong.
Is your daughter circumcised?
Um, what?
Just a question.
My daughter's a woman.
Yeah.
She's a lady.
Right.
I don't think women can be circumcised, Joe.
So then the answer would be no, right?
Yeah.
All right.
What the fuck are you getting at?
What are you getting at here?
It's the glasses, man.
It is the glasses.
Glasses, kit shirt, one sleeve rolled up partially.
Boy, oh boy.
That was an accident.
Oh yeah.
The tattoo.
I'm sure, Joe.
Here it is.
I'm sure it was an accident.
How you doing?
You all right?
This has gotten up to a hot start.
Well, yeah.
My morning was off to a hot start.
I fucking, I was, I was driving on the way here and on the bridge.
They closed the whole left lane, so there was a ton of traffic and I was getting pissed
off because someone in front of me was driving like an idiot, so I tried to get around them
and I absolutely crushed one of those big cylinder cones and sent it.
Like you hit it.
I hit it.
You got a big car too.
And I, because I didn't, I didn't know there was like a big orange one that had the handle
on top.
Yeah.
But they were spread out so far that I didn't even know they were there.
Like I saw one, but you know, like, like if you can't see the next one, you assume
it's over, you know, so you could get into that lane, but I didn't see it.
Like it was like so far away from the next one.
So I get over and then I go, I'm hitting this because I was already, I was like, I'm already
going to hit this thing.
So I hit it and it hits the back of a truck thing, the one that like hands them out.
There's like a truck.
Oh, oh, so you hit a government vehicle.
Well I didn't hit the car.
The cone hit the car.
Gotcha.
Okay.
The cone projectile that was, it didn't like smash it like it like hit it like, you know,
it hit it.
We live in quite a litigious world, Joe.
You came even close to hitting someone.
You're getting sued.
Yeah.
Well, I definitely hit this cone and the cone definitely hit the fucking truck.
Okay.
And then, you know, me and the guy made eye contact and I was just like, but I was like,
did he, I was just saying, do you have glasses on glasses on?
So I was like, bro, glasses, Joe was just like, it happened.
No glasses, Joe wouldn't you want to look straight at Texas?
Frankie me.
I was like, I just crushed a fucking phone as he was driving.
So let's see who the issue is here.
That's true.
Yeah.
I wasn't traffic.
You were playing.
It doesn't matter.
I think the rule is if you're not in park, you can get in trouble.
Yeah, that's the rule.
But you were, so you were playing Grand Theft Auto on your way here basically.
Well, you know, you didn't hit any people.
No, no, no, no.
What kind of Grand Theft Auto video game player were you?
Were you like the type that would go and do the missions or would you just be like, time
to blow off some steam?
Let me just go throw a grenade into a fucking crowd.
Yeah.
No, I would do that constantly.
What I would do is I would go in the overpass with a bazooka and just blow up the fastest
car.
Oh, really?
Any car that was driving fast, I'd just blow it up.
I used to see what I would do is I would go in a parking garage and I would go in like
the level just from the top.
So like the second lowest, the second highest level, block off the top, block off the bottom
with cars.
Yeah.
And then just sit up there and just have a good time.
This is a video game, by the way.
Let's have a good time, man.
Well, play the video game.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Does that mean snipe innocent people?
No, Joey.
Stop what you're doing.
All right.
This is why I didn't want to bring up Grand Theft Auto.
Okay.
You literally brought it up.
No one said you didn't want to bring up.
This is why we shouldn't have talked about it.
It's a video game.
Frankie.
People nowadays need to understand that.
I want you to know something.
Glasses off, guys.
Glasses up.
This room is a weird color right now.
It's very bright.
When I play that game, hello, when I play Grand Theft Auto, I just drive around, you hit
a couple of people with your car and shit.
You kill a hooker or whatever.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then get topped off by a hooker and then take the money back.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
You play it like an actual criminal.
You're blocking off exits so that the cops can't get to you and then just sniping people.
I am a good video game player.
No matter what video game I play, I take the best route in order to be good at that video
game.
All right.
I'm going to show through certain Mario levels and cut some corners.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
I'll learn how to play MLB to show and throw unhittable pitches.
All I'm saying is that with whatever video game I play, I'm a very good player at that
game.
So I'm going to think critically and logically and find out which way I can maximize my enjoyment
of that game.
I understand.
Yeah.
Keep an eye on him.
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You put it in 16 ounces of water, it hydrates you two times faster and more efficiently
than water alone, non-GMO, free from gluten, dairy, and soy, and also amazing flavors.
They have this like tangerine one that also is like a wellness one because it has like
vitamin C or something in there.
And it's like really good.
I love it.
There's watermelon.
That's probably my ultimate favorite.
And then there's pina colada, which is a banger.
Lemon lime is also, they're all really good, but they're good for you.
I'm packing them.
We're going to Josh's wedding this weekend and he told me to pack a bag of them because
Liquid IV hooks it up.
Honestly, I can't tell you how much Liquid IV saved my life when we were in Florida.
I had two a day, one in the morning, one before I started drinking, and then the next morning,
and then one before I started drinking the next day.
What does that say about me?
Probably not good things, but it says I'm responsible.
It does.
And you can grab your Liquid IV in bulk or nationwide at Costco and get 50% off when you
go to liquidiv.com and use the code BASEMENT at checkout.
That's 15% off anything you order when you shop.
Better hydration today using the promo code BASEMENT at liquidiv.com.
Next here, speaking of money, we have UPSIDE.
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That's everyone, folks.
With every purchase, you can be earning cash back thanks to UPSIDE.
I've been using UPSIDE since I've heard about this company.
When they reached out, they were like, here, we'll set you up, whatever, and you just earn
money for buying things, which feels like the opposite of what's supposed to happen.
You give up the money, then you get a thing, but then you're getting cash back here.
To get started, you download the free UPSIDE app in the App Store or Google Play, use the
promo code BASEMENT and get $5 or more cash back on your first purchase of $10 or more.
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That's probably why they have a 4.8 star rating on the App Store.
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I mean, literally, you use UPSIDE, you purchase something, you get some cash back.
Money that you wouldn't have, I'm going to collect it.
I'm going to keep using it.
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You want to get some money?
You want to get some cash back for buying things?
Go to UPSIDE.
All right.
And while I got you here, ladies and gentlemen, come in, come a little closer.
Come in.
Get into my nape right here.
I'm going to whisper something to your ear.
Patreon.
Oh my God.
You hear us talk about it enough, but some of you guys might be the uninitiated few out
there.
What's Patreon?
It's a subscription service to help support the show, to help support Joe, to help support
me.
You support him, you support me.
You make him happy, you make me happy.
Sometimes he's happy and I'm not happy, not really.
But if you go to Patreon, patreon.com, slash the basement yard, that's where you can help
support the show and get exclusive content.
You could sign up for those tiers.
And what do you get with those tiers, baby?
Well, that first tier, you get weekly episodes like this one you're watching now, six days
in advance.
You go in the YouTube comment section and you say, oh my God, how did someone comment
six days ago?
Who is this person?
Are they possibly people that are standing behind the cameras filming the show?
Absolutely not.
The only people that are behind this are nobody.
Okay.
So go sign up for that first tier and then that second tier, well, that's where you get
those exclusive episodes every single Friday, 7 a.m.
You can start your week and your week with the basement yard, baby.
And we've announced that if we hit our goal of 12,000 patrons, which Joe, where are we
at right now?
Tell me right now, bitch.
Like I'm like.
Well, guess what?
At the 12,000, we're hiring a professional drag artist, makeup artist to come in here,
do Joe and I in full drag, the whole shebang, shebang, we're going to document the process
and then we're going to do a Patreon episode in it.
So make sure you go check it out.
You could see every past Patreon episode that has ever been and everyone that comes out
after that.
So patreon.com slash the basement yard.
It's a great gift.
If you want to do some gift giving holidays or right around the corner, technically they're
always around the corner.
It's a corner.
Are you done?
Are you done?
Patreon.com.
What is this?
Christ.
Who would have went for 10 more minutes after that?
I could have, but I decided to cut it short.
All right.
Listen, there's not many things I could do for 10 minutes.
So let me just have this.
Okay.
That's a sex joke.
It was a sex joke, Joe.
Game right.
What was that?
Get out.
Yeah.
I don't.
That was a mistake.
I got to say, you were actually just talking about one of our sponsors and the way that
you like to make money.
Prime example this week, Joe, of why I'm not a betting man.
Okay.
I don't bet.
Yeah.
But we made a bet a couple of weeks ago.
Yeah.
Actually, one week prior to the recording of this episode, about our good friend, Leo
DeCaps.
He's a great friend.
And I already lost.
Yeah.
So it was after he had split with his 25-year-old girlfriend, what was it, Bukitini's Scolofini?
Her name was Kimmilla Morone.
Okay.
Well, you're thinking about Barofieli.
That's the one I was thinking about.
Okay.
Yeah.
We said, all right, what's going to happen is you get an Oscar first, or does he date
someone over 25 first?
Right.
Did you call, you called people.
You called, you called the powerful people.
I hooked them up.
I did call it.
You rang your Illuminati line on your flip phone.
That's what I did.
And said, make this happen.
I want to make a quick hundred bucks.
Yeah.
And I lost a hundred bucks.
Yeah.
I knew, I just knew, you know, what it, what it was was I, after we recorded the episode,
I went over to Leo's.
Gotcha.
And then we were just kind of kicking it.
Yeah.
And what were you guys talking about?
Just making millions.
Yeah.
You know.
Okay.
And usually that's what we talk about.
But anyway, I was there.
We were talking about making millions of dollars.
And just all the way.
Wait, he's only still making millions?
How can you stand his presence?
Yeah, whatever.
But then I, you know, I hooked them up, him and Gigi Hadid.
So I almost, I was going to say Bella Hadid, but I don't know the difference between the
two.
Outside of the fact that they're different people.
Yeah, they are.
Yeah.
Bella Hadid, you ever see the meme where she's like, homeboy is going to like get it?
Nope.
You've never seen that video?
I've never seen that video.
You know when like white people are like really white?
Yes, I do.
Yeah.
Do you?
Yeah.
But I'm saying, but like, you know what I'm saying?
Like fucking white people who say like, pardon?
Like that kind of shit.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
I know exactly what you said.
The girl goes on a complex show.
It's like a sneaker show.
Right?
So you like, you go to this complex, like a show, like a, oh my God, you don't know what
complex is.
It's a whole company.
You've never seen a show like online.
When you said complex, I was like, damn, what the hell was going on in this show?
You've never, you don't know what complex is at all.
No.
What the fuck?
I'm Joe.
I just joined the talk.
All right.
Give me a couple.
This is like a fucking, whatever.
It's not about shoes.
I'm wearing sketcher boots.
You think that shows for me?
So they go to the sneaker shop, flight club, I believe, and then they just like talk about
shoes and they talk about like, you know, whatever it's, it's whatever.
Okay.
Yeah.
This girl goes on it.
Talk about a niche audience.
Yeah.
And she's like, she's just, you could just tell that she's trying to pander to the crowd.
She's out of her element.
Yeah.
And she's trying to pander to the crowd and she's like, if homeboy comes over in like
a dirty pair of like, you know, whatever, then like it's, it's quiet.
But if he comes over in a pair of like these homeboys going to like get it.
And I was like, it was really bad.
It was really bad.
It was really bad.
Yeah.
It was horrible.
And like you should watch it.
It's even worse.
I've heard that like dirty shoes are in now and it's like, boy, if this had just happened
like 16 years ago, your boy would have been the most stylish guy in school.
Back when I had one pair of sneakers for going out, sports, everything, let me make something
very clear.
So you can understand my 2006 shoe game.
Yeah.
I had Timberlin sneakers.
Yeah.
He did.
I did have Timberlin boots, but somehow my family found Timberlin sneakers.
Yeah.
Didn't know those existed you, but you had more shoes than I did.
Definitely.
Literally one pair of shoes.
Bro, I had Timberlin boots, but you had ice creams and shit.
But I bought those for myself.
It's not like I was, yeah, but still, yeah, I had a pair of ice, you know how much ice
creams were Joe?
Like $30.
Okay.
They were not a very expensive shoe back in the day.
They were orange and red.
They excuse you.
They were orange, hot orange, hot yellow and gray.
Got it.
Okay.
So watch your fucking tongue.
I'm watching it.
But so this Bella Hadid is, um, GG Hadid, sorry, sorry, sorry.
She's dating Leo to Craps, Leo to Craps and, uh, Leo to Craps, that's staying.
Um, she was married to, or like shares a baby with Zane.
My, my doppelganger, I'm sick of this.
Honestly.
Seriously.
Jokes aside.
Look him up and tell me him.
I know what he looks like.
Look him up and tell me him.
And I don't look alike.
Frankie.
Oh, you don't look.
Look it up.
Yes, I do.
Yes, I do.
You don't look alike.
I'm doing this right now.
Zane.
Malik.
Malik.
I just looked it up.
Bro, come on.
You're going to say him and I don't look similar.
Fucking no.
Yeah.
I don't know about that, Joe.
He might be, because he has a thinner face and his fucking hair is stupid as shit.
But if he, if he had a more patchy beard, you added maybe 40, 50, 60, hey, maybe even
80 pounds.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And if the queen had balls, she'd be the king, Frank, but that's just not how it goes.
No, that's exactly how it goes.
One small difference would make them a different person.
But listen, but the queen probably looked like the king and the only difference was she didn't
have a pair of knickknacks in her, in her knickknacks, you know?
I don't think so.
But why did we bring that up?
Oh, she's dating him now.
She's 27.
All right.
He just made the cut off.
She did.
I saw someone tweeted like, damn inflation hit everyone nowadays.
Look, man, all the power.
Are we happy with this?
Like, are people, are we?
I gotta say, my understanding of the Hadid's is that they are, they're pretty big stars
in their own right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're fucking.
I would say of like when they had dated Leo from the names you would listen last week,
you know, Bukitini-Pastorelli, Camilla-Camon, Giselle Bunchen, at the time that they were
dating Leo, they were not as big of a star as the current Hadid one is.
Maybe Giselle was though.
I don't know.
She was like the number one model in the world.
But I don't know.
But what year was it?
Like 04.
No.
That's when she was with Brady.
She's been married to Brady since like 04, no?
No.
Well, I'm wrong.
04.
I don't know.
Or something like that.
Regardless.
I think.
I remember, I remember it being 04.
It was three years after 9-11.
Okay.
God.
I'm never going to stop doing that.
You don't have to.
It's funny to me every time.
You can.
The way I can tell white people jokes.
I'm a New Yorker.
I can make those jokes.
Well, not only.
Your dad's a fireman.
That too.
You know the pain.
You know?
Yeah.
So I think at the moment, like we kind of pontificated.
You're saying this is the biggest star that you've ever had?
Yeah.
We pontificated like is like Leo with these girls because like they kind of look up to
him and they like feed his ego a little bit.
If anything, she, which one is it Bella Hadid?
Gigi.
Gigi Hadid.
Sorry.
Is a big enough star that I don't know her name, but I know a lot of people out there
do and she doesn't need to placate to his, you know, need for fucking constant approval.
Like this might be a situation where that's true or not.
You know how like outside of the US, people call Tom Brady Giselle's husband.
Outside of the US, they might call Leonardo DiCaprio, Bella Hadid's Gigi, you stupid fucking
bitch.
I swear to God, it's not a bit.
I swear.
Fuck.
Gigi's boyfriend.
Yeah.
You know?
Well, no, she's not that big of a star.
Like she's not like international.
Well, weren't they like Disney Channel stars and the models and they're like best friends
with the Kardashians?
I think they're big.
Bro, they're, yeah, like people know who they are, but in America, I think.
No, people, I would say that they're not international like that.
Are you sure about that?
Yeah.
I wish there was a way to measure stardom.
Like who is a bigger star?
I mean, if there was like a list of like, you know, you can just put in like one, two,
three, four.
I'm sure if you go to, if I asked a fucking random person in like Poland, like who's Gigi
Hadid, I'd be like, God bless you.
Like what are you?
I would say if you ask, I don't want to say old people are the litmus test.
My hair is going all over the place again.
I don't think old people are litmus test.
You need to just ask a random like minute, like 30 year old in Norway.
Do you know Leonardo DiCaprio?
Do you know he's a bigger star than her, bro, like a lot by a lot.
Yeah.
He's, he's a dude.
He's a very famous guy for years and years, I'm sure you're right, but I'm saying this
could be part of the reason that like maybe he's found a girl that is like over the age
of 25.
Well, they're both in New York, I think they're both like New York peeps, bro, he lives wherever
he wants.
I'm sure she does.
I know, but he don't sit up.
When you're like a Hollywood mega star like that, like you, you're not a New Yorker.
I know from anywhere.
I know you have a home base, at least for a certain amount of time.
No, I don't.
You might have a home base.
I've seen videos of her walking around Soho all the time and I'm like, okay, you know,
whatever.
Like fucking what?
Yeah, but you've never seen her walking around Soho.
That's how you know it's fake.
I don't spend a lot of time and she's walking on a green screen in Burbank, California and
they just fucking, you know, they plaster on Soho in the background.
I don't know about that.
I could say that.
You could what?
I could say that with confidence.
I would believe that's true.
Yeah.
I'm sure you would.
Yeah.
By the way, you dropped a pontificate and a placate.
Listen, it's a big day.
I also used laborious twice yesterday.
So I don't even know what that means.
I'm just going to, you know, what is laborious?
I'm not going to do it.
You figured out yourself.
How would I do that?
You have a computer in front of you that has access to literally everything in the world.
I have a person in front of me who I'm talking to on a show where you're supposed to talk
to people.
No, I'll let you figure it out.
I'll let you do it.
And now I got to spell it.
Think about, Joey, think about the word laborious.
What do you think it would mean?
Like it's like really tough lot of labor.
Is that right?
Well, there you go.
Is that right?
You don't even know what it means.
I don't know what it means.
You don't know what it means.
I do.
I'm not going to.
I've just figured it out.
No, you don't know what it means.
I used it multiple times.
You don't know.
Now you're looking it up.
You're scared.
You're looking it up.
I've been using it.
It's correct.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yes.
Requiring a considerable effort.
Yes.
Yeah.
All right.
I'm making sure that I use it because that's what I knew it to be.
Yeah.
I want to make sure I was using it correctly.
Because you weren't certain.
I was certain.
You clearly.
I was certain.
But sometimes, Joey, I lean on you as sometimes you might, you know, things other, otherworldly
that I might not know.
Like the Hadid's.
Yeah.
You don't even know which one's dating him.
Gigi.
Yeah.
All right.
I got it after like five times.
I got it after.
Which one of them?
Wasn't one of them in the Twilight movies?
No.
All right.
Neither of them are actresses.
No.
That's not true.
One of them was the Disney Channel star.
Who?
One of them.
Was it?
I can.
I'm almost certain.
Hadid.
Oh.
I might be thinking of Bella Thorne.
Bella Thorne was on it.
I might be thinking of the Thorne.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I don't think so.
Yeah.
No.
I don't think so.
You know what they say?
Every Hadid has its thorn.
No.
What?
Like every cowboy.
Okay.
That's enough.
No?
I'm surprised you know Bella Thorne.
You don't know Complex.
You know Bella Thorne.
Well, she was a Disney Channel star.
I'm very in tune with Disney Channel.
Apparently.
Listen.
If you want to talk about Complex, I can't help you there.
If you want to talk about Eddie's Million Dollar Cook-Off, I got you.
Okay.
What is it?
You don't remember that Disney Channel movie?
Eddie's Million Dollar Cook-Off?
No.
Don't look it up.
It's with Orlando Brown and another white kid.
And they cook.
Oh, Orlando Brown.
He's going through some stuff.
There was a clip that came out and he's insinuating that Puff Daddy sucked his dick.
Hey man.
I mean, stranger things have happened.
Have you ever seen it?
Puff Daddy's sucking a dick.
No.
The clip of him saying.
No, no, no.
Because he doesn't say, oh, he, you know, he, he says a lot.
He flat-out says it?
Frankie, no.
He says something.
There was that one clip.
I'm just going to blast.
Where he's like talking about like Raven Simone.
And he's like, yeah, I gave her that.
Yeah.
He's like, I gave her that.
And she gave me that.
So it's, it's similar to that.
Let me find it.
Because he's very animated.
I don't know if there's something going on with this dude.
But I'll tell you, they're probably almost guaranteed is.
Yeah.
Like it feels like there's some sort of like substance going on.
Yeah.
You can call it crack.
It's okay.
Check out his normal.
That's to check out.
Damn it.
I got to find the clip in this whole thing.
Damn.
Bro, if I did this, Joey would be furious.
I would.
No.
Because you sit here and you, you just Google and fucking.
What do I do that?
Why do I do that, Joe?
All the time.
That's a lie.
A fat lie.
A fat bitchy lie.
He says he, he got the, his words.
You gave me the uskash muskash.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
All right.
That's what he said.
He got from Pete Diddy.
When you get.
I would presume.
I mean, or it could be but.
But jobs.
What sound?
All right.
Let's think back to that Patreon episode we did where we, we spelled out sounds.
What, what sounds more like uskash muskash getting tipped off or having sex with a but.
I would say.
Close your eyes.
Go.
Uskash muskash.
Uskash muskash.
Yeah.
I mean.
Uskash muskash.
It sounds like a ritual of sorts, but I, I would say bloge.
It's wetter.
I.
Ush.
But the sh.
Makes me think of like penitrace.
Penitrace.
Yeah.
It makes me think penitrace.
No.
Like ush.
No.
No, bro.
You also are really bad at that game to be fair.
No.
I am.
You're really bad at that game.
I'm very good at that game.
Shenzhen.
Shenzhen.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Shenzhen.
Shenzhen.
That's go.
If you guys don't know that episode.
One of my favorites that we've ever done.
You're not good at that.
I'm very good at that.
You want to do a next one?
We'll do a competition.
We'll have a, we'll have a unbiased third party on the episode.
Dude, whatever.
I'm going to crush you.
No, you will not.
Shenzhen.
Shenzhen.
You said that was fucking masturbation.
You think you're going to beat me?
Listen, when you think really critically.
That's like masturbating.
If I had a whole sack of change in my pocket.
If you think critically to the sound of a jerking off.
It sounds like Shenzhen.
Shenzhen.
Shenzhen.
Shenzhen.
It does.
It does.
It does.
It does.
What, what were you going to say?
It was like shufkun fumta or something like that.
I forgot what I said.
I don't remember what you said either.
But it was definitely better than that.
I don't, I don't know.
I can't confirm that.
Shenzhen.
Shenzhen.
Enough about masturbation and more about prize picks.
Our next sponsor for today's show, prize picks.
How do we still have ads by the way?
Prize picks is a lot of fun.
Okay.
If you go on, if you get the prize picks app or go on their site, I don't even know if there's an app.
I'd be honest with you, but there is an app.
Prize picks app and the website, prizepicks.com.
It is awesome.
You could bet on any sports.
Not bet.
But you pick these projections that they have.
They have prize pick projections and you pick two to five players and you will pick if they score more or less.
So let's say like Tom Brady for instance.
He mentioned them earlier.
He plays in the NFL.
You go over to the NFL tab.
You will click on Tom Brady and you can have how many touchdowns is he going to throw, right?
There's a prize pick projection that says he's going to throw more or less than two, right?
Or more than less than one and a half and you choose more or less.
And then you have to do that at least one more time, but you can do it up to five and you get paid based upon how many of those you hit.
If you hit five, you get, I believe, a multiplier of like eight or five or something like that.
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It's a lot of money and you want to pull it out.
It's not like they hold on to it for a month.
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I've been playing it since the football season started and hidden too, by the way.
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There's a game on tonight.
It's Thursday.
So actually this comes out on Monday.
There's a game.
There's a game on tonight.
You can go to prizepicks.com and put in a little entry for yourself.
See how you do with the projections and we'll see how it goes.
So go have fun with that.
And lastly here we have BetterHelp which is online counseling.
It is therapy for people.
I think that everyone should be in therapy personally.
I've been in it for a couple of years now and I think it's amazing.
I literally had a session this morning.
But if you want to give it a try, BetterHelp is a great option.
It's more affordable than in-person therapy which if you don't have insurance could be just wild.
And out of budget.
So it's a fraction of the cost of that.
Also it's very accessible.
You can set however many sessions you want.
Like in a week.
If you want to do weekly, bi-weekly, once a month something, whatever you want to do.
You can talk on the phone.
You can do video chat.
You can text.
They make it very easy for you.
But if you want to try out BetterHelp, in addition to it being more affordable than in-person therapy,
you can get 10% off your first month when you use BetterHelp.com slash basement yard.
That is BetterHelp.com slash basement yard.
For 10% off of your first month.
Alright?
So there you go fellas.
And women.
I don't know why I said fellas.
Yeah, very sexist of you.
Right back to your misogynist ways.
Okay, relax.
Because you've said a lot of stuff on this episode.
Like what?
I can't remember at this very moment but I know that you said-
You can't remember it didn't happen.
That's true.
Period.
And guys, make sure, since I already plugged the Patreon earlier, I'm not going to tell
you about Patreon.com slash basement yard again.
But what I will tell you about is that new dog-sucking shirt.
Woo!
Maybe the Santa Gatto store.
All you got to do is Google it.
Or you go to SantaGattoStore.com.
Or just put your hat outside your window and scream it's a dog-sucking season and one will hit you in the face.
Now listen, we've discussed.
The summer's over.
We discussed it multiple times.
But that doesn't mean dog-sucking season ends.
Because guess what?
Just like global warming, it's here to stay forever.
Okay?
Dog-sucking season is now transitioning into fall dogs.
And in addition to wanting to see what fall dogs you can muster up, I want you to be wearing that dog-sucking season shirt.
That's right.
Joe, Frank, plump, juicy, glizzies.
Now you can bring it anywhere you go.
So go check it out at SantaGattoStore.
Yep.
SantaGattoStore.com.
All proceeds go to helping me put a roof over my daughter's head.
Yeah.
My daughter's head.
I've been doing cameos like that.
And it's been like, thank you for supporting The Basement Yard.
If you stop, my children will be homeless.
I needed to talk about this because I saw it in the news and then you brought it up when we got here.
So we have to talk about it, obviously.
There was a story.
I don't know how much you guys keep up with the world of chess.
I am married to a very good chess player.
Frankie, we're talking about Grandmaster, sir.
Yes.
I know.
No.
These people are savages.
Yeah.
I know.
I got to say, Becca was on the chess team, which is equal parts adorable and equal parts disgusting.
Yeah.
What a fucking nerd, dude.
But I've beat her three times.
Oh, so she's got to suck.
She sucked three times.
Yeah, for sure.
I can give you an exact amount of time that she has sucked.
Yeah.
But I don't tend to really outside of Queens Gambit when everyone loved chess for like a month and a half.
Yeah, yeah.
I haven't paid attention.
Bro.
Oh my God.
Espo probably bought 15 chess boards during that time.
Espo is a very good chess player.
Yeah, apparently he is.
But in the world of chess, by the way, I got to say this, and we've said this before, but I got to add to the list.
We said we don't.
I love the preface I'm about to do.
For the record, we don't support or like and think they're the worst, but the KKK has a really good name for their top guy in the Grand Wizard.
That's a good one.
We've spoken about that.
We're just going to say that's a good one.
Genius marketing, really bad people.
Bad people, bad uniforms, really cool name for a leader, though.
Clearly they went to some high level schools for marketing.
Right.
Next, though, got to be chess.
A grandmaster?
That's fucking sick.
Yeah, I mean, it sounds like a ninja.
Honestly, two coolest things I've ever heard in my life.
Grandmaster of chess, Grandmaster of Sex A.
There you go.
There you go.
Yeah.
You know, RIP, by the way.
Oh, okay.
Grandmaster of Sex A.
But anyway, so in the chess world, there's a chess player who's like an up-and-comer.
He's 19 years old.
His name is Hans Nieman.
I thought it was going to be something that you were not able to pronounce.
No.
Whatever.
But there's a guy who's like regarded as like the best chess player of all time.
And he's like the world number one grandmaster right now.
Really?
Yeah.
And his name is Magnus Carlson.
Whoa.
Whoa.
That is a crazy name.
First of all, that is a very chess name.
Yeah.
And if you're Grandmaster Magnus, this dude's never had sex.
Listen, there is absolute, never had sex with the name Grandmaster Magnus.
His name's not Grandmaster, you idiot.
Bro, if I became a Grandmaster of anything, I don't care what it is.
It would be like getting knighted?
Yeah.
Sir Frank.
I'm calling myself Grandmaster.
Yeah.
You know, that's the Grandmaster over there.
The thing you like is how to beer.
I feel like if you're this good at chess, you can't do anything else.
Like literally anything else.
Well, yeah, because you need to stay on top of it.
You ever see in Queens Gambit, it's like they need to play like four, like eight different
people at once in order to like keep up.
Like that's their training.
Their brain needs to be constantly moving.
Never.
I've never even seen the trailer to that show, by the way.
It was a fine show.
I think it was pretty okay.
I think what's your name did a pretty good job, but there was also some weird depictions
of like what rock bottom is for women, but we're not going to get into that.
Any titties in that show?
I don't, I don't remember any titties.
I'll tell you this though.
A lot of chess.
Yeah.
And probably they did a really good job at depicting what someone that plays chess would
look like, not on a tale of joy.
Good looking person.
Oh, this is a lot of beasts.
The men look like fucking dweebs.
Wow.
Good job.
Good job.
Fucking casting director.
But anyway, Magnus Carlson, right?
He played him and he and this dude Hans beat him.
But then there was a rumor that came out.
Wait, so Grandmaster Magnus lost.
Yeah.
To Hans.
To Hans?
Apparently.
Yeah.
So there, but there was this rumor that came out.
Scandal, biggest scandal.
Okay.
You keep saying, you're not saying what it is.
You just keep saying rumor.
Scandal.
I'm going to, I'm going to get to it, bitch.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Okay.
Hold on.
Okay.
Hold on.
outcome.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Okay a vibrating one a vibrating anal be actually that would that would vibrate and let him know
I guess like if they would vibrate like twice he'd be like oh shit left. I don't know
Okay, but it's a rumor at this point, but all I'm saying is
It's just chess man. You don't got shove balls in your ass to win. All right. I might practice you're 19
You'll get it listen. I might be having a bit of a hot take here. Yeah
What have they done rule changes and other sports they try to make the game more exciting, right? Yeah chess
I'm speaking to you directly as a game
Make it so they can wear but plugs. Well that would make people
infinitely more interested in watching a chess match if they think this person is gonna come their pants in the middle of it
That was the thing too because I'm picturing I've never had a vibrating
Ufo in my ass not UFO unidentified just an unfa what was that? What's the word I want to use?
Just like it. Just like an alien object. Yeah, I've never had an alien object in my Oshawa
Vibrating but I imagine
It depends which way I'm sitting, but if it vibrates enough in a certain position
I'm gonna have a good time. Yeah, you know I'm saying and if you're and doubly if you're winning your chess match, right?
I'm saying though
There's probably no orgasm like the one you get from a vibrating anal bead when you hit checkmate
Bah, and bah, that'd be crazy bro like think about it like this
I'm lining that up. Oh
Imagine you were in the fucking
MLB world series down three runs bottom of the ninth two outs full count
You get as you hit a game-winning Grand Slam. You also get a vibrating in your ass. I'm pretty sure that's what happened
Jose Altuve. I'll never fucking forgive you. You stupid Astros bitch. Yeah, that's true. They had anal beads
I don't know if it was anal beads, but I know. Oh, they did. Yes
You spoke you and Leo spoke to the right people and found out why I asked Jose to his face and he said yeah
Ah, that's right. I forgot you guys are in like this. We're butts
Look rule changes are changing the world of sports all the time people say they juice the balls and baseball
They make it harder for pitchers, you know the pitch clock and stuff like that
all I'm saying is I
Have zero interest in watching professional chess. I have
Slightly more than zero interest
If there's a possibility that the person I'm watching has a fucking vibrating sex toy in their butt
Yeah, I think they should play blind and then put the anal beads in their ass and then someone else control their moves
Not only that but like the kid also said
He's like, yo, if they want me to play naked, I'll fucking play naked
So he was like, bro, you think there's a fucking thing in my ass and you know
It's crazy if this becomes a popular thing and like this is one of the biggest scandals in the world of chess. Trust me
I know so now what's gonna have to happen is I'm pretty sure when you go and you sit down at a chess match
They have to check like your sleeves and stuff to make sure you're not wearing machines or anything like that
And now there's rumors in the world of chess just from the people that I know in the in the community
Yeah, where they're telling me now at certain
Tournaments when you show up they are making you bend over and checking to make sure that your asshole is like empty
Honestly again making chess infinitely more interesting to the the common public. Yeah, but I mean
Where does it stop are they gonna check all the fans that come to watch the matches?
I mean, all right. Well, then you got to get around it
You know what I mean, like, you know, put, you know, wear a sock
Put it in your foreskin
Fucking we just came right back around back fucking Scandinavia with the fucking foreskin and Hans Neiman
That sounds pretty Scandinavian as it is. Are we sure this isn't the guy that's putting, you know
Fucking long cut snooze in his foreskin
Are we sure about it
Are we sure? Yo, you know, it's crazy about Hans
Isn't the horse that fucked someone in the ass named Hans or something? Whoa, whoa, whoa
I don't I'm fucking out. I don't know where you got that
Why do you know the name of a horse that had sex with someone Mr. Hans?
horse
If you're wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, if you're right, I have I nailed it, bro
No, the horse nailed it apparently the this is a name of a numclaw the numclaw horse sex case was a series of
incidents in 2005
Evolving Kenneth something an engineer who worked for Boeing and resided in gig Harbor, Washington
So there was some sort of sex with a horse. Yeah
And and the horse's name was oh mr. Hans like hands
Maybe someone in the interview that I saw how to act and they're like in these horns close enough
I'll tell you this though. I believe I believe a horse
It's alright, it's close enough. I think horses are measured in hands. I think they'll be like how tall is that horse?
Let me like 14 hands
Yeah, that's fucking dumb. It's really don't measurement really well
It's because people back in the day
Do you ever think back of like people in history and just be like I don't respect them
They were stupid because they'll be like, oh, this is four knots and it was like how do you get that?
I threw a rope in the water see how many knots it pulled and it's like that's stupid. Is that it?
I believe that's what it is
Huh?
You didn't know that no you really didn't know I didn't even think about it
Yeah, because it pulls a rope and it tells them how fast they're going
Can't is this a guess? No. Oh, I'm almost a hundred percent sure you can look it up
I'm not gonna look it up, but just then just believe me. Yeah. No, there's someone was banging horses, dude
Well, yeah, I remember that that video back in the day of when all those like weird videos on the internet were like
One blank with two blank or one one one blank one blank, you know, like fucking two girls one cup
There was one guy one horse and the story was this horse put it in the guy's butt and he died
Right, hold on. I got it right here. This dude died though by horse. Oh, so this is the guy made his name is Kenny
He was a fucking engineer for Boeing. You would think he'd be a little smarter. So he said
Men men were having sex with a horse on the property
Of some dude a truck driver who lived in a trailer next to the farm
But on this particular night, it is my understanding that the horse wasn't particularly receptive
So so people were fucking the horse the horse and the horse is like I've had a fucking enough of this shit
Hold on how?
ladders
Okay, move on
It's a small baker's it listen, I said about three guys all over day you just get up on it. It's 30
Three three guys snuck into a barn that night the men would often visit that farm for sexual purposes
They recorded one of the guys being anally penetrated by the stallion known as big dick
This is on this is like a thing. I'm reading it. They put the word that must be the one guy one horse video
Maybe because a horse's dick if they're the one that's referred to as big dick all horses
No, no stallion was referred to as big dick. How big is that dick? All horses have big old
Pinjams. Oh, yeah, this is a fat fucking dick after finishing
After finishing so that guy got away scot-free he probably like had a great time. Oh, maybe they weren't fucking the horse
They were in the horse fuck them that's kind of wild after finishing the other guy filmed another guy being anally penetrated by the same horse
during this incident
The guy sustained internal injuries including a perforated colon
Oh, and just fucking perforated like the tear away paper. Yeah. Yeah, just clapped his shit
Fold this side fold that side fold the top and then there you go. You got your colon. Yeah
They wheeled him into an examination room before realizing he was dead. So this dude died fast a
cute
Paratonic
Yep, yep, I got it. That's what it was. Yeah, so these dudes were sneaking into a barn and having their way with a horse
And that day the horse was like I'm gonna blast you now
Boy and the horse killed this guy. Yeah. Well, listen, I mean, how do you prep your asshole for a horse wiener?
Well, I think you probably don't hence the
Fatality involved and you know these dudes were fucking each other, but they were like your dick doesn't do it from anymore
We need a bigger dick bro
This is like that episode of fucking black mirror where the guy like feels he needs to feel more and more and more pain in
order to like get off
So like at what point do you get fucking the butt enough that you don't remember that episode of black mirror where he puts the
It's in the black museum episode. Oh, yes, he puts the thing on and he like gets cut and he's like, oh
Fuck yeah, like he's like, oh, no, he's not getting cut. He's cutting somebody else and he feels it
He's like hitting his you know partner during sex and shit. It's good episode. Go watch it
Not not for that reason
Other reasons beats beats his partner. It's sick. No, like you know how people are like, you know spank me daddy
Yeah, yeah
But like how how much do you need to be desensitized to full-on anal sex human anal sex
To be like and then also time to move up, but then also dildo sex
Yeah, the other thing if you like dildo big dude, you can get dildos that are pretty much horse dicks. I know
Yeah
You do well I for that episode the patreon episode we did okay
Hold on. Let's make sure we correct this here. Yeah, I mean you do it
I you literally said what you said and I agree. No, you know, I for sure you know you say, okay
I'm you asked me to trust you that you know, you just said that do you say trust me? I know listen
I trust you. That's it blind trust. We're best friends
I'm not gonna defend myself because I just sound defensive, right? You guys know what I mean, but they got but yes
so, I mean, I
Don't know where this oh, we're talking about chess and now we're getting we're talking about getting fucked by a horse
Hey, man. I mean there is a piece on the chessboard. That's the night. Yeah, I thought this was like a Dutch horse like mr.
Hans. Oh, no, mr. Hands. I know but wasn't is it Hans like Dutch?
Yes, okay, I
Think or German
That's that's a Dutch adjacent. It's close enough. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I hear what you're saying, but
Horse made it out. Okay, that guy went down. Well, is it is mr. Hands still alive? No, I mean
It's a little to tell the tale
I just imagine a horse sitting in a chair with like a fucking cigar and it's like I used to be somebody say yeah
I fucked him
Blasted his shit. Yeah, and then I killed him. I don't be careful. What are you gonna do? Yeah? Yeah
Yeah
What are you doing the first time it was funny? Yeah, the third fell off. Yeah, I was hoping you weren't going for a fourth
Cuz then we would have to you know
But anyway, I think that's where we're gonna cut it off here folks horse fucking is where we draw the line
Yeah, we stop at horse sex
Well, I think you guys will follow me at Falvors 8 8 8 5 8 0 8 5 on Twitter and then the Frank Alvarez on Instagram
cameo back on there and
Ladies and gentlemen, I gave in tick tock
I joined I joined the world of the talk Frank talk is here Frank talk
So well, I'm sure in the coming weeks. We'll be talking about Frank talk
But go check it out and then like I said, please check out the patreon patreon patreon.com slash the basement
You're I've become a patron is what I meant to say
You get these weekly episodes a week in advance you sign up for that first tier that second tier you get exclusive episodes every Friday
Which believe it or not?
We did just talk about horse dicks
It gets wilder on patreon so patreon.com slash the basement. Yeah, and you guys go follow me at Joe
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