The Basement Yard - #367 - This Is Why The Divorce Rates Are So High
Episode Date: October 10, 2022Joe and Frank discuss why the reasons for divorce! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Transcript
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Welcome back to the basement yard podcast. How's everyone doing Frank?
Look, don't look at the crumbs that are on my forearm. Yeah, you're covered in chips. I
Am covered in chips that you mostly ate. Yeah, I haven't been so much better if you had some everything bagel hot sauce. Oh
To dip them into go to secret handshake dot shop. Go get yourself a bottle that fucking
Delicious this guy hot sauce always on it. You're always on it. Do I do you never stop? I've noticed that you're
Oh, you're no you'd never stop. You're always on
Business mode
Demon time
Goblin mode is that goblin mode? That's what the kids call it, right? Yeah, what is being a goblin?
Is that like being a troll? Are they the same?
You're asking the wrong girl, honestly, you don't know like so what would you define as being goblin mode? I
Have no I don't I
Don't know but like a troll is someone that just like tries to be contrarian just fuck with people like they just try to be different
Like annoying and antagonistic
So goblin is that like I've never heard someone being referred to as a goblin me neither. Honestly when I hear goblin
I think of like runescape. Mm-hmm. Yeah, absolutely. I think World of Warcraft
I think of Clash of Clash of Clans Clash Royale. Yeah goblin barrel great card. That's an amazing card my favorite card
Yeah, it's always been my favorite card. Yeah, do you ever do you ever think you've gone goblin mode? I
Hope not you ever been a troll just to be a troll. I
Don't think so. I have what would you do?
there was a kid
who I didn't like and
He was a little weird if we're being honest
I'm being honest. Yeah, he had issues. You wanted to bully. Was it maybe what else it wasn't handicapped. It wasn't bully
No, I don't know. He might have been I had heard like years later. He might have had some developmental disabilities
I didn't know at the time so you can't
What okay good tell us about how you bullied this hand. I didn't bully any first of all
Careful, what they're not they're handicapable Joey. Oh
I don't know either if I'm being honest. I don't know the appropriate term. Anyway, would you do you beat this kid up?
No, he worked in a school and he would like post
Statuses on Facebook that he would like jokingly wait for the kids to ask him to go to prom and I thought that was fucking weird
Yeah, so I tagged the NYPD in his status
This is on Facebook. Yeah
Yeah, what a what a scumbag you are me. Yeah, I'm looking out for the betterment of these children
I don't know you said you were being a troll bitch
I mean you can consider it being a troll, but like I was trying to protect children in this situation
Yeah, a real real hero. I was a hero. I'm a hero a true Batman. He was saying first of all
He was saying that like oh like ha ha like I hope the kids ask me to prom
And it's like bro. That's weird when you work in a school like he had also posted like there was also another one that was a little more
Like flavorful. Yeah, and it was like weird about like kids and bikinis. What the fuck. Yeah, so I tagged the NYPD in that one, too
But like I thought and to this day I kind of say oh
He didn't like it. Well, yeah, he didn't say anything to me
He told his cousin who told my brothers to tell me to stop got it
And then I stopped not because I was told because I just wanted to stop. Oh, probably a bad look
Well, you know, but now the world knows so are you apologizing or no never? Oh god
Absolutely not. Okay. I'm working to protect our children or the children at the time
So if anything I was doing the world as a service Wow, and I stand by it. Thank God that you were there, dude
You know where else I was. Oh my god. How did I not tell you about this?
Bro, I got here and what I normally do take my big my big afternoon fat piss
Do you not I
Should get a big fat morning pee, but afternoon. I'm not really well my my ride here can be a little long
Yeah, and I'm so dehydrated that I don't have to pee until I get here. Mm-hmm
So went
Took my took my fat pee pee drained it. Yeah, okay
I
Try to navigate this with respect
There is a heavy Jewish population here
Yeah
Hasidic Jews
Or I don't know what's the term now. There's an abundance of Hasidic Jews in the area
I don't know is Hasidic mean to say because I've heard people refer to them as orthodox. Is that the same?
No, I think that's like a different thing like you're either a South poor orthodox
You could be Hasidic or orthodox. So it's like boxing. Yeah, Jewish is like boxing. It's like fighting. It is like fighting. Yeah
so I
As I do pissed next to this Jewish man. Yeah, and I noticed something
You ever notice when you go to the bathroom in here, there's the one sink that has a cup in it all the time
Yeah
Yeah, it's like a it's like a like a pitcher. It looks like a pitcher
When this Jewish man was going to wash his hands
He wasn't washing with the water directly from the spout
He would fill up the cup and then poured on his hands and he literally it had two handles on it
He kept doing that and I was like I fell back because I was clearly staring at this Jew wash his hands
And I felt bad because I'm I didn't want to make him but like I had never seen that before
Yeah, what is that you didn't well, I know that they're like wait. What day is it?
Thursday. Oh, no, it's something about Sabbath Friday's. I think that's the sundown on Friday. No, yeah
But I know they're like they're not allowed to use technology this up. Can you look it up?
What do I look up? Why do you like how do you wash their hands? How do Jews?
No, why do they wash their hands? How do they wash? Yeah, like why do Jews can't touch?
Jewish Jewish hand washing technique Jewish hand washing technique
Jewish hand washing cup and bowl
What is it? It's got if it's a religious thing. I don't mean to be offensive to anyone
I legitimately have never seen our halacha
Requires the hands to be washed before eating a meal containing bread. Okay. I don't know this is I don't know if this is the thing
Okay, I mean he was leaving the bathroom. So I assume how do Jews wash their hands in the morning. Oh
This is a YouTube video, I can't be doing that
Well, maybe oh, this is like first. I think this is just how they like it's like a ceremony
Well, that's what I was wondering. Shabbat is on Friday. Am I bugging? You look it up
You have the fucking world at the fingertips. When is Shabbat?
Friday, bro
So why starts that sundown? I don't I and again, this is me legitimately trying to understand
Do we know any like do we have any Jewish correspondence? Can we call Greg?
Greg's not Jewish, but you you I you really think he is but he isn't promise
Do we know any other confirmed Jewish people? Not any like super religious ones. I
Mean, we've got to know right? No, I just know like, you know, just like I don't know any like yarmulke Jews
Oh, you know, like I only like wedding yarmulke Jews, which you know, like step on the glass Jewish people
I've been to a Jewish wedding like I haven't do a Jewish, but I haven't been to like us like, you know
With the whole outfits and everything. I never like I don't think they would want you there. I don't think you're meant to be there. Oh
Okay, I don't think you'd be a part of that community
Probably not I mean, I assume there's like a bunch of rules and things that I don't know about the whole thing
But I don't you know, yeah, they kind of keep it in-house
Yeah, I don't really see one out at a bar or anything, you know, you don't you and you really don't get the opportunity to ask
Many questions. No, I
Would like to I would like to I would too honestly it because that that was interesting though
I saw that and I was like that because I've seen that cup there a bunch
Yeah, I thought it was like someone left it there
Yeah, me too. No, apparently and like I guess I'll have to go a couple more times and watch yeah
To confirm that this is the way that they watch it is
I mean, I just saw a picture of it like it's two handles and everything
Like what is the reason for it if it's only meant to be done before maybe this guy could have been he was just going to eat
But it's also like he was leaving the bathroom
It feels like maybe it's just like a whole like a fucking holy way of washing your hands because like like why are the
Jesus wasn't washing his well, I don't
Just anyone at that time careful man. Yeah careful about that one
But anyone anyone at that time wasn't washing their hands. No, they had those old-timey things where they were wells, bro
I think they had old-time no, they would like fill up like Game of Thrones style
They'd like fill up a cup and they'd be like, you know, like that's what they would do
I don't know. I don't I don't I think they had those
I've seen enough of those old-timey pumps that have like the handle on the back
You know what I'm talking about and like the water kind of comes out looks I gotta admit
It looks like it looks pretty sick. Yeah, um
But you have to imagine they were cleaning their hands like that or fresh like running water. Do you know?
I
This reminds me actually because
When Keith used to work in a school he worked with this
Muslim dude, and he's like and he would
on some days
Take out these like leaves or something
And I don't remember what he would what he said he would do with him
He's like he was always doing this thing like he would like chew on or something, right?
So he like couldn't figure it out like what it was and you want to ask him because they didn't know if it was like rude or something
He googled Muslim tradition with leaves
And I don't know what pops up
But I needed I mean that that seems like a pretty on-the-nose thing to Google to get the answer
I think he was pretty spot-on there. I
Mean
I don't know. I mean, you know what it is. I
Don't know anything about any sort of religion either. You know what I mean?
Like I I'm sure there's things that like some Christian or Catholic people do that. I'm like I
Yeah, I don't you know palm palm palm was it Palm Sunday? I'm asking the wrong
You're asking be a wrong person. Yeah, Palm Sunday. It's like oh, you know, it's church, but we're gonna give you leaves
You know like it's just yeah, I don't understand why palms
I don't I don't think it was a very tropical area Jerusalem back in the day
So like did they have palm trees? Like what was the reason for that?
Because that's what the palms are coming from right palm tree leaves. I
Would you have no idea, but I also don't understand the ash
Yeah, like why are they doing like, you know, like rub an ash on people's forehead and dude
I have no idea and I probably should know that that's probably a layup and I don't know that dude
That was such a popular day in
Like school because I remember it was like all that's the religious the religious
All the religious kids that even and by say I say religious with quotes
The quarter fraction possibly maybe even slightly religious got out of school. Yeah
Sorry, I would get out of school all the time and go get my ashes. You'd got out of school early
I haven't gotten ashes in a while and then they would just go and they would rub ash on your forehead
Is it like because it's like the burning of the cross or something like that?
Aren't you guys big into cross burning? That's the Ku Klux Klan different sort of
Organization different sect of the religious cult
You're playing with fire
Yeah, they're playing with fire as well
Yeah, I don't I'm not sure but I
Was actually just talking about this the other day about my communion and
Confirmation, what was your name again like contraris or something? Nick? Oh
Contraris no, it was Nicholas all these like
Was it we had a kid growing up Joe Campbell, I think he had a name bar Finn bar, okay
Yeah, you have to pick one of the Saints. There's a Saint Finn bar apparently. What is he the same?
He literally picked it sounds like a stupid name. He said that literally out loud in CCD and in class
He's like I want to pick this. It's a stupid name. We're confirmed honestly. Yeah, well confirmed to you
That's how he got confirmed. That's part of his name now like my name technically is
Joseph Patrick. Well, you know technically it's not that's your church name your legal name is yeah, bro
I'm saying when I pop into church. They throw a little Nicholas in my name and they sprinkle a little it
No, but they don't remember you come on the church. You think the church is like that's that's Joe Nicholas. No, they're like
Oh, that's I know him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I remember that but
Okay, Frank. That's what they do. No one ever touched my butt
No one ever touched my butt although I did want to be an altar boy
You would have been I really wanted the ropes like all the boys have like the belts that are ropes
I have to say and they're like cool rope church makes things look a lot cooler than they actually are
Bro, they got that fucking mace that thing that you can look like you kill people with that
Just going like this and there's smoke coming out of it
How do you know that because I know I know about things. Have you ever been to like a Catholic mass?
I think I have because I've had people die in my life. I know people that have died
Yeah, and you know, they'll do it like a mass for I remember I think it was incense
They swing the thing probably sweet and like why yeah, what is that honestly?
I know there's an answer and it's a religious answer a holy answer. Yeah, but I don't get it
Have you ever been in a mass where the guy has like the water and then he like throws it on everyone?
Probably but I but I've always sat like like toward the back
Yeah, but he walks up and down the aisle does he?
Oh, and I guess I didn't get the holy spray when he does this shit where he like he takes like this thing
And it looks like a like a maraca. Okay, right? It's got like diamonds in it. Oh, that's really fire now
Yeah, sick
And then he has this thing or he has like a little page like hold it on his head
And then it's got like holy water in and then he like will dunk it in there
Then he'll do this to the crowd and then you got to like get hit in the fucking eye with this holy water
Then you're like you'll go drink you drink holy water
Do you drink holy can you?
Can you drink holy? What is holy water water? So you can drink it?
Technically so if I get a bottle of holy water and I drink it nothing you can't get a bottle of holy water
Unless you got a priest I can get a bottle of holy water. No you got to go get a priest first
Joe you're gonna tell me you don't think bottles of holy water are not readily available for home use
Maybe no you could get them in like little like
Fucking hand sanitizer sized my mom used to have them. Yeah, what are you saving this for boom holy water blessed by the pope
Three bottles 30 bucks by the pope. Yeah, that's what it says here
Where are you looking though? Pope Francis though. He wasn't the best
You know the popes. I think pope Francis was the bad guy, right?
The bad guy the one that like resigned like he was like in trouble
I don't even know that this is happening to be honest with you. I mean it happened. Oh, no pope Francis the current one
He's a he's the sick one pope benedict is the bad one pope Francis is like the spanish guy who's just like yo like be gay
I'm cool with it. Yeah, I think benedict was the one that was not very nice. I mean, what are you gonna do?
You poked it's pretty tough position. You got to imagine that becoming pope is like
Hard, right? Like what do you have to be that tough one hope you got to be the holiest? Yeah
It's like becoming president of
Mass shit
Do you think it's like you know how like during like oscar and like emmy season like
Movie producers and actors will go around and be like please for your consideration like consider my movie. Here's my movie
Do you think the popes are like or at the time they're cardinals?
They go around and like for your consideration like I did 400 000 holy mary's
Yo, hey mary hail mary's last year
The hey mary
That's what you thought. I like mary full of grace for hey mary full of grace lord is with
uh
No, but yo how crazy is it that like
There is a pope
You know what i'm saying? There's like it's just another guy
No, well, he's supposed to be like jesus
But how god's right hand man. I get that they're supposed to be like cool. I understand but how
are they chosen
because like
If we're choosing the popes
Well, that doesn't make them like we've looked this up. We've actually talked about this not long ago
So the fact that we've already forgotten. No, but I know that they're at the top
But I don't know but like I think there's like a like a committee like they call like, you know
Like they sound the alarm they put up what makes you a good pulp. He's just the holiest
You're just like i'm sure it's like yo like this guy really is like or does he have good sermons
It's gotta be you gotta get a chatty cafe. I think if we're talking serious for a sec. I am it's gotta be
I'm not ever
It's gotta be someone that like interprets because that's what those sermons are
It's like it's an interpretation of the bible that you use to help people kind of fucking live their life
It's gotta be one who's like super dope at interpreting the bible. You know what I mean
Yeah, they're they're chosen by a college of cardinals
College of cardinals. Yeah, we've talked about this
The church is most the senior most senior officials who were appointed by the pope and usually ordained bishops
They are summoned to a meeting at the Vatican which is followed by the
Something election. They have an election. They have like blue smoke and shit 203 cardinals from 63 countries
This is a big committee, dude, and then they choose one
cat
Yeah
Good for them. Yeah, man
But I that's also my question is like, what are we basing that on like also?
What does the pope do outside of just be holy?
I think he just like kind of drives around in that sick ass car
He has a pretty cool car a lot of people the pope mobile known as like one of the most secure vehicles on the planet
And he's just like blessing italian women and they're just like passing out probably people love didn't our friends
Would you feel weird if the pope touched you would you be like, oh shit?
I don't know. That's a good question. I feel like I would feel like whoa, you feel holier
Kind of I don't know. That's a really good question
I I wouldn't know what to think honestly because I don't
Like if I saw the pope walking down the street, I should be like, oh, that's just another old bastard
No, bro. He would be in his pope stuff, but that's what I'm saying like if he wasn't wearing the white robes
Yeah, you just be like, it's all this is another old bastard
But I'm saying but the fact that he has the robes
That's what makes him the pope. Yeah the robe that makes what anybody that's what any of us are, bro
You know what I'm saying? So if you saw fucking
You see like the president Scottie Pippin
We're in the robes. You think like, oh shit. This is a holy motherfucker
Yeah, I mean anyone who puts it on outside of like Halloween
I guess I don't know. I don't I think I'd just be like, oh, all right. Cool. Nice to meet you
Like any I've met people in my life. Did you kiss the pope if he asked?
If he asked me to kiss him, no way, dude
Never kiss someone that asks you to kiss him. You know that that's rule 101
That's a rule. That's the that's the 101st rule of the book. Joey. They say
Bro, you're gonna tell me if an old man comes up to you and is like kiss me
No, it's not just any old man if it's the pope and he comes up to you and he says kiss me
You're gonna ask me
No, he's not. No, you can't demand me to kiss you. I'm not gonna. Can you kiss me?
I feel like I can
Will you kiss me? I don't know. You're being a flirty little bitch
Joey's getting flirt. He's flirting with the pope
That's the name of this episode. By the way, not what we expected to talk about today. No, not at all flirting with the pope
Yeah, I don't think I would be
like I've I've come across people through work and life that like
Bless me and pray for me and I'm not disrespectful. I'm like, oh, thank you
But I think I would just treat the pope as the same because he's just he's just a holy guy
Uh-oh, what are you looking at? I
I um
Holy shit
Can't say that when we're talking about the pope
Yeah, I mean he's not here, but no, I everywhere joe. I
I just thought about
You never really hear
You hear it in every other industry, but you never really hear it about the pope
About someone being out of like, oh, they had sex
Pope Frankie got in trouble. No, no, that's not what I'm saying. I typed in if that was that ever happened
Like where a pope got caught
You know with like a chambermaid or whatever the fuck. Well, I think
There was some stuff about benedict that wasn't so great, right?
He was having sex and stuff
I could be wrong, but yeah, I think you're making stuff up. I could be wrong and it's it's possible and I don't mean to
Dude, furnish the name of the you know church god forbid. I did that according to legend
Pope John the
12th
Was thrown out of a window to his death in
964 by an outraged nobleman who caught him in bed with his wife
Damn bro. Imagine coming home
And your wife is banging the pope. Yeah, that's what do you do if you're a catholic man, you go. Yo, father
Jesus
Well, no, I think in that moment Jesus. Oh my god, you know, and then you had holy shit father. Jesus. Oh my god
You've run down the list, you know, but then you throw him out the fucking window
Throwing out the window. That's that was like an that's intense. I mean, that's how you killed people back in the day
Yeah, but it doesn't matter that like the the like also it's the year
964 how tall was this building?
It's probably one floor
This pope died. This pope wasn't he was well. He was mid fuck, you know
He was mid, you know, the holy spirit was leaving his penis
So like you have to imagine that like it left his the soul and spirit also less his body as he hit the ground
It so left the earth that day too. Yeah threw him out the fucking window. That's crazy
Yeah, I don't think there were really I think like the tallest thing back then was like a castle and it was like, you know
Maybe like 60 feet but like falling 60 feet. That'll that'll do you Joe. I don't know 964, bro
I have a feeling that like if I fell like 40 to 50 feet I could live because I'd land on my feet
But like you haven't said anything in like three months
that has
Been rational not everything you say is just like you don't think you could fall 40 feet and land on your feet
Do you think you're spider-man?
No, but I 40 feet is high, bro
I think I have the dexterity to land on my feet now my feet might break my legs too
But I think I can do that whole thing where they land and quickly flip and they don't get hurt
You think you could do that. I think I can yeah
Okay, this is what I mean. Do you just say shit and it means I don't say shit. Why are you making it seem like it's like
Such a laborious task to do that. It's not that hard
Frankie
You're not falling out of a 40 foot window and landing on your feet like a cat
I never said if I fell if someone threw me or I fell that'd be a problem if I jumped
I think I could make it
I've fallen from like 20 feet
Into water maybe no no. Yes. Yes. Yes. Oh, oh, yes
But also that fence outside of st. Francis. I've jumped off that and landed on my feet
What fence the big tall fence
That's not 20 feet. I think that's 20 feet. Yeah, I bet you do. You don't think it is also frank
That's 20 feet double it
Then what I'll tell you what's gonna happen when you hit the ground go ahead
Your knees are post already halfway there, babe. Yeah, those are dead
Then your ass is gonna hit the floor and your fucking coccyx is gonna fucking explode. Don't talk about my coccyx
I'm talking I'm talking about it. I have a sick cock not a coccyx
I'm waiting for the applause to stop
Anyway, this fucking dope ass pope fuck someone's wife. That's fucking wild. That was pretty sick
I mean back in the day. They were probably like
Wild also when the oh, this is a good question when the pope dies
What happens to his body according to experts the post body is likely to be embalmed
and then exposed for the
Veneration of the faithful. What does that mean? They show his body
I think they show his body for the other holy people or just people who who fuck with the holies
Yeah, I think they're just like I need to because like where does all that holiness go?
It doesn't you know, it doesn't evaporate. It's still in the body
So like you kind of go like the sanders and six sisters and like suck the holiness out of him
Bro, you were on
Dude when you talked about benedict before
It was reported at the time that the pope's resignation was linked to a gay mafia
What they're back operating within the Vatican. So a gay mafia in the church
Yeah, an underground network of high-ranking
homosexual clergy
So that's that's just like that's a scary jargon for
fucking
murderous
Gay priests and we talked they don't murder they slay
True holding sex parties in Rome and the Vatican and involved with corruption in the Vatican bank
This is cool
I think
It's not but it is
This guy this guy looks evil. They're not gonna fucking benedict. He does right
He kind of has like an evil like dark eye. Don't quote me on this, but I think he also might have been linked to some
Not so great stuff during uh, you know 39 to 45 if you catch my drift
What does that mean world war two
What stuff
I
This is I could be wrong again, but I remember hearing stuff about this
Yeah, I don't know if that's the same guy. This guy just seems like he had like a gay mafia that he was like, you know
We're gonna stick up the Vatican bank. That's kind of sick, dude
It is kind of dope
A gay mafia in the church. It's the last place holy gay mafia hiding in plain sight last place you expect to see them
What the gay mafia in the church?
Yeah, that's like that's that's genius level manhunt playing right there, babe
Because no one's gonna look for you. No one's gonna go. We are here to find the gay mafia. They're gonna go search everywhere
But the church
I mean, they're not just like chilling in the church. They're gonna they did say underground
Which I don't know if they meant actually under the floor church is going to ground, right? I think they have basements
I think that the church basement was probably like the meeting spot where they were like, yo, let's let's talk and
About how we're gonna fuck fuck people and fuck them. You know, yeah
They would like get together and they would suck each other's cocks and then they'd be like, how do we rob this bank?
And then they'd pray after
Yeah, probably prayer going on through the whole they'd be like they'd fucking do a bunch of gay stuff
And then you'd be like, go just pray to gay away
Do you think you think there are any that were like wise guys?
Like yeah, my father forgive me if I have sucked a dick
You know what I'm saying? If like it's like Tony gay holy mafia. Yeah gay holy mafia. And he's like, oh
Where's the fucking cock? I'm just playing around. But seriously
Multi-settled
You know what I ask for forgiveness. Yeah, I think oh
The aura in this room is really fucking off
Someone better pray 12 fucking Hail Mary. So I swear to god, I'll jerk you off
I'm just kidding. Tony
Where's benny get him down? Yeah, wait, you mean that baby ain't confirmed? Oh my god
Dude, that's fucking amazing. Um
Well, I don't think that
You know, we can get any more offensive than that
I think but that's just what it is. We talked about what we heard. We are we are we read this is reading that listen
If it's on the internet, we just bring it to you. We don't that was a reading from the book of benedict
So I I'm just or the book of wikipedia. Just by the way, just so you know, he's the one looking this stuff up
So game mafia if you're out there, I didn't look up the game mafia. By the way, they popped up. They came to me
No, game mafia. They made their way to me. The game mafia has made it very clear
They would like me over you. They went after you for business only. Okay
What are you saying? You know what I'm saying
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Right, um, right, right, uh, but yeah now as an australian person say right
Right
Anyway, so today
We have a um
Love story
Also, I love love. Yeah, you do
Um, this one is about divorce though. I don't love that. Well, divorce is always good, isn't it?
No
Technically
Well, I guess that the mutual ones are great
Yeah, but like if someone comes home and they're just like i'm taking the kids. I'm leaving and it's like oh what?
Well, yeah
Besides your parents and mine, you know anyone else that's divorced tons of people. Yeah, I do too. It's kind of scary
How many people I know that are divorced
Yeah, it's almost weird when it's like you have both your parents
You know what's funny is I recently thought of that like I remember when beck and I first met
And it's like your parents. She was like, yeah, my parents have been together for almost 50 years. I'm like in the same house. Fuck
I'm like, how did they do that? So you have both your parents? I that's fucking gay
No, but seriously like I like I remember like I forgot who it was but like
So
Is that are we jaded?
I think you and I come from a very unique situation
Oh, actually not unique a population of 50 percent. Yeah, it's like 50 percent of marriages
I want to know right now. You know, what you know, what's the leading cause of divorce? I looked it up one day
The leading the leading cause of divorce in the united states. You know what it is
marriage
100% of people that get divorced got married. Isn't that weird?
I
Like to hit you with my computer as hard as I can
Until it snaps. I got you because you were you were hook line and I was I was like, oh, I mean, maybe this would be a cool
I got hook line and sphincter. Gotcha
Hook line and sphincter. Yeah
Why did you add a ch in that word by the way? Yeah, it's sphincter. Yeah
sphincter
Um, hold on. Look leading cause of divorce. It's got to be financial. What is the leading cause of?
Divorce
Lack of commitment, okay, so being extramarital
Extramarital that's what they call it an affair. It's an extramarital affair. Oh, interesting. Yeah, um
Infidelity so that's not oh, I guess they're different. Yeah lack of commitment to what fucking they don't want to be married
Okay, but like I guess all right. So I guess one in two or hand in hand infidelity. That's the the cheat
Yeah, you've ever been cheated on
um
I think I got cheated on
fire, uh, you don't even care
All right, go ahead. Right. We've lived through this together. We're going. Yeah. Um conflict, uh,
It
Um, it's a hard word. What it irreconcilable
Irreconcilable irreconcilable silable. No, I reckon
Well, hold on. Well, we're having a problem here
It's Eric
Irreconcilable differences. That's it irreconcilable. Irreconcilable. Yeah, uh differences. Okay. That's you can't reconcile. So they're irreconcilable
Yeah, you differences unable to reconcile
um
irreconcilable
We're going down the line. By the way, then it's marrying too young
But that's see the who what what's this from fucking, you know, like
buzzfeed.com. No, it's
It's called it's over easy. Oh, okay
So this whole side dedicates it just to divorce. That's that's such a stupid answer because
Getting married early causes the other stuff
Like no one just says like well, no, I love you so much, but we just got married too early. See you. Well, yeah
Yeah, but I'm saying people that's that's a that's a cause of other things
But I think that's why people say it. They say like, yo, we this is all these things happen
But ultimately like it all points back to the fact that like we shouldn't have got married in 19
Really? So you think that someone that cheats when they're 35 says we shouldn't have been married when we're 19
That's the issue here that they would say infidelity if that was yeah, but that's what I'm saying is like
They could also have been I think that's such a stupid answer. Keep going. I don't think it's that though
um
Then it's money issues and debt
Wow financial is all the way down there. Yeah, one two three four. I mean maybe top five is the fifth one. Okay
um
Substance abuse alcohol addiction
Yikes
Yeah, that's that's a biggie. I could do it domestic violence. That's another biggie
Yeah, no jokes. Um health problems are mental illness. What we can make fun of that one, right?
I think if you're married to like a fucking psychopath. Well, this says health problems
There are people that leave other people because of health problems. What does that mean though?
Like I just can't deal with the fact that you are just, you know, always sick all the time and it's annoying and depressing
I I guess I mean, I think of it more on a grander scale. Like, you know, like
Oh, uh, I'm dying of cancer. So divorce me and go live your life
Bro, I don't think that happens enough to be in the top 10. It's on the list
I know, but I think that's a bad assumption. I don't think that's a bad assumption
I think you it probably happens more frequently than you think lack of support from the family
Or maybe health problems is that the divorce happened because they died. So technically if your partner dies, are you divorced?
No, bro, you're widowed or widow word
Nope, just widowed. Yeah, you know when I was younger
I thought like women
Like if your partner dies, you're a widow, right?
But I thought the widower was like a murderer
Or like the thing that made the widow. No, that's called the widow maker joe. That's yeah, I didn't know that so when I was like
Widower is like he killed someone's wife. It's kind of fire. Honestly. That's what I thought. That's kind of fire. Yeah
I was like, damn good for you. Um, meanwhile, they had just like a dead
Yeah, I was like, I thought this dude was a badass met someone when it is about yesterday
Cool, kind of yeah, I'm not saying it's the reason but
Religious differences and lack of marital marital education. What?
Religious differences. That's a tough one. Yeah, how you get married and then have religious differences
That makes no sense. You wouldn't know that from the start. Yeah, you would know that from the beginning
Also, what is the lack of marital marital education?
Uh, I guess you don't know what happens. Like you don't know how to marital education
I think that's their nice fancy way of saying like they don't know where the clit is
Like they they haven't been educated on like the physiology of a woman's vagina
Here's a cool
thing
countries with the highest
crude
Divorce rates crude like it's like fucked up. Yeah. What do you think number one is just guess
Just guess just guess. Please get it. Oh my god
Oh, so it's not it's not us. Okay. Um, but think of like you just think I don't know why I don't know why you're getting the
Funny thing is someone that's just like angry all the time. I guess give me a little baby
I don't want to give you a hint, but I just want you to guess because you come on
Russia
I
It's so weird because it's weird because they're so angry. I fit. Yeah, and they're scary
Like but I feel like
Well, because you cannot listen to someone talk like this all day
My wife would leave me too if I was like this all the time
All the russians that I know are very like sharp, you know, like they're like very like bones
No, no, no, like they're very like like fingernails
They're very matter of fact and they're like won't they have like hard stands. Yeah, I
Fuck with them. Becca has watched enough of that
It's a fucking show 90 day fiance
There's enough russian people on there where they say stuff like that where those be like
I do not get joked quite frankly upsetting me. Yeah, you know, like there's no like ha ha ha that is not very nice
Yeah, yeah, they like tell you like right now. I want to kill you. Yeah, so they have the highest one and guess what?
It doesn't matter. We're not being offensive to the russians. What's going to happen? They're going to kill us probably
Yeah, that was gonna happen. Anyway, um
Whether we talk shit about them or not. We're four
Okay, so what would be number two?
Belarus like, you know
And then you can make fun of the the bellarussians Gibraltar is a country Gibraltar
I just thought that was a really sick cool name for a pedestal. I thought that was like a rock
Yeah, I thought that was like a the Gibraltar
Oh, it's a it's one of those like territories things. Oh
Is it like a territory of like alvania or something? It's british
Everything the sun never sets on the british empire joe. It's fact, uh, united states
then like
So if we're at 50 percent here, what's what's russia fucking 100? No, this is we're this
I don't know what this is country's highest diversity, but there's not really like a no percentages
No, yeah, it just says like 4.8 and then we're 3.2
That doesn't make sense. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what any of this is to be honest with you
Almost 50 of all marriages in the united states will end a divorce or separation
That's sad
Researchers estimate that 41 of all first marriages end in divorce all
That's insane 41 percent of all first so a person's first it's 41 percent of them
But then all marriages it's 50. So it's the so it's more on the second back end
I just had you just almost killed me
The fuck
All marriages all marriages just in the 50 percent includes second and third and fourth fifth marriages
Yes, yes, yes, yes the first one has a 41 chance of not working out. That's sad. That's wild. That's sad. That's crazy
Let's get some facts in 2019 the marriage rate in the united states was 6.1 per
Thousand total population. What does that mean?
So 6.1 people out of a thousand got married
I can't believe that's true. Yeah, it doesn't sound right read that again or maybe it's like because of read it again
Oh, yeah, no, it's right
The marriage rate is 5.1 right now. So it dropped so less people are married now
Yeah, so it's 5.1 per thousand total population. So that's including like children too. I mean, I guess
number of divorces
630,505
Of what a million
1.6
So that's about half a little less than half
Yeah, it's definitely less than half. Yeah, divorce rate 2.3 per 1,000
So
That's sad. Yeah, people are people are definitely
I don't deal with breakups well. So like now that I'm married
I told Becca like just be prepared if you divorce me like
You're gonna
You're gonna like fear my wrath because I am I'm I don't deal well. Are you and you're an angry guy?
I get I go through the stages of grief angry, you know
Like what what is it the five stages of grief? It's like anger
Uh bargaining
Bargaining. Yeah, you know trying to like sell her a couch and yeah, just be like, I'll do this if you fucking come back
Oh, I see, you know, uh
But yeah, that's that's how I'd be I'd be fucking devastated
I think people so in 2019 both marriage rates and divorce rates in the u.s. Are decreasing
Oh, since 2019, when was that article written because I heard that
divorce divorce shot up because of coven probably
That's wild 80 60 of second marriages and a divorce
73 of all third marriages and a divorce
What are we doing at that point dude? I think after clearly you don't give a shit about
I think I think after two you should call it quits like
I don't even know like yeah like two max, bro
I think two max and then like after that like maybe like, you know, don't I'm a pretty confident person
But if I don't get it right on the first try, I'd be open to the fact that like, okay
Like I can make it happen on the second try because that second try I'm gonna go
I can't do this things happen in that first one like if it's your first marriage
Like you're trying to figure it out like you don't know you're learning as a person
You know, you're building your life that's second one
You should be like, you know, that's your second app out of the game
Like you've seen the picture throw once at least, you know
Yeah, every 42 seconds. There's one divorce in America. All right, let's count 86 divorces per hour
2046 divorces per day
14,000
per week
770 746,000 per year
Damn, so are we getting are we getting divorced? Are we getting divorced more than we're getting married?
I don't know, but this makes me want to be a fucking lawyer so bad
Oh, it seems like a big mark. Yeah, family law can really get you, you know, that there's definitely a big law, uh, you know
So here's the thing
Every 16 seconds there's a marriage
so
So then that's 1632 so there's about
two and
More than two and a half marriages per divorce every minute. So we got a two one kd ratio
We're not we're not upset here. I'm just saying we got a two kd babe
There are nearly three divorces in the time it takes for a couple to recite their wedding vows
That's fire
That's a crazy way to put it. You're doing your vows and in that time three divorces someone's just like divorce
That's wild
The average first marriage that ends in divorce lasts about how many years?
Six
Eight close. Okay. All right. Eight years. How long you guys were married? Don't don't do that. I'm just asking
two
Six more
Quarter the way there stats. It's just stats
40 over a four year 40 year period 67 of first marriages terminate
That's terrifying terminates a hard word. Yeah, that's a hard word to think of yeah, that's wild dude
What does that mean? I I think I will be in the minority there. I I believe that
Yeah, I don't I don't think it would take a lot for me to like I would have to do a lot
To fuck it up and beck would also have to do a lot for me to be like, all right. Fuck it. See ya. Yeah
Uh interesting what?
No, it's just you know
The way that they do professions with the highest
Uh divorce rates lawyers
Doctors this makes no sense to me
The highest one is dancers
Well, because they're doing basically
Dry humping. Is that strippers? I would think so. I would think no they're like ballet
Ballerinas again, they're doing like classy fucking dry humping. You got to think about it
Then they're going on like yachts with like a whole bit dance team and shit like that
I guess then bartenders
Another place I can assume because it's crazy hours and then you know like an inconsistent schedule
Cash income so like they spend it. They're drinking a lot. They're pieces of shit. They're cheating bitches
Then it's massage therapists. Well, there you go. You're basically giving out handjobs for work. So what do you expect?
Yeah, these next two I have no idea what these are gaming cage workers
Are those people like that like run the games or you like throw the ball and land a clown in the water
Those are carnies
Aka homeless people and the people that they're they're talking about are like gaming cage workers. I think it's like
Maybe like people that work at zoos that like work the cages. I have no idea. That's a weird gaming service workers
Oh, that's got to be people in the gaming industry
The lowest ones
So I'm going to say actors, but then I thought about all the people that fucking like
You know, been asked like it's so interesting to me. Um
The the five lowest divorce rates for jobs
top the
farmers
Only seven percent of them because they don't have to be lonely. They've got farmers only.com. They find a good match
Not only well, not only that but like
Where are they gonna go farmer? Where are you going bro? Where you're going? Oh, you're gonna nothing's around
You're gonna live by the fucking tomatoes. You're gonna leave me. Yeah, where are you gonna go? Yeah
Okay, good luck driving that five mile per hour tractor. Where?
podiatrists
Huh, okay
I I understand those are the people that work on feet. Yeah
So well, you know what it is
There's such I know what this is
There's such fucking weirdo freaks for feet that when they find someone else that's a weirdo weirdo freak for feet
They're like i'm staying with them. They worship them. They worship them never going anywhere clergy
Well, they don't get married. So that's that's a bit of it. That's a bit of a game. They're married to the lord
That's a game shark hack there. You can't divorce god. Yeah, it's true
Um optometrists. Uh, those are eye doctors. I believe yeah
Yeah, because they keep their fucking spouse blind all the time
They keep their partner you probably just have really good health insurance like I can't leave the guy
Yeah, it's like I get free dental and vision. What are we gonna do?
I got free vision right here. And then the lowest job for divorce rates is agricultural engineers
So what does that mean? Sweet you you make corn. Yeah, you know why their divorce rate is so low because they don't get married because they're fucking
They shop pieces of corn in their ass. It's corn
It's ribbed in it's great entertainers
Oh, that's that's a high one 20 28.4
What was what was the most like percentage 43? Oh, wow. Yeah
I'm trying to think like I can name more entertainers that have been married multiple times than
It's the only ones we really hear about though
That's true. You don't hear about tom hanks and rita wilson much outside of the fact
They were maybe you know keeping kids in their basement
Is that true you don't remember that do you perfect? Um, we do have more ads that I forgot about honestly. Yeah, there it is
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Uh
But anyway, the reason why I brought up divorce and all this shit
We went down a rabbit hole obviously because we're unable to stay on topic. We have a dd
Yeah, the uh, uh, there was a story that came out that a new jersey man
Me was caught urinating on his ex-wife's grave nearly decades after nearly five decades after their divorce
Why is that point so funny? You're you're the new jersey. I know I know what jersey man
I know what you were doing, but it's just so funny the way you were just like you
Yeah, um, but he this person was caught by
uh
The the deceased woman's son. Oh
Yeah, he found uh, the guy's name is michael andrew murphy be more white person michael andrew murphy. Yeah, like what the fuck
Yeah, uh, but he uh, oh no
Sorry, that's the person who caught the guy. Oh, but also be more white
Yeah, um, he captured the desecration. What was the white the guy who was peeing's name colton bolton chadsmith
Dean eichler. Oh, yeah
That's a white beast although eichler. That sounds pretty jewish. Well dean is stupid
Eichler, I had an uncle dean, but do you think you you think he's dumb?
Yeah, dude. He is he's dead. Uh, what an idiot
uh
Murphy told the local news outlets that his mother's ex-husband was leaving feces and urine at his mother's headstone for months
Apparently holding on to a grudge from the 1970s
Uh, the guy's 68 years old. He was briefly married before they were divorced in 1974
So he's been shown up
67 in 22 and you know those dude a 68 year old fucking dump
Disgusting well well hold on you're being a little misleading the dump is not 68 years old
He is
He's taking dumps. Joe. You think you'd be able to tell the shit between a 20 year old and a 67 year old
Yeah, I think so. I think so if you put two human shits here
And they were very different in age. I would know you think so. Yeah, I'm gonna bring human shit in
What you said do it it's not gonna happen
Because you don't think it will or you don't want me to
Dude, he said he and his sister started finding deli bags filled with feces at their mother's grave in april
They figured the first one might have been dropped by a careless dog walker, but after the second bag
Sorry after the second bag they knew it was something right something was fishy they caught the police
Problems leaving clues
Imagine like it's like officer. Um, they've been multiple bags of shit at my mom's grave. Yeah, that's heavy
You think cops do that because you know how cops will do that thing where it's like
I got robbed going down an alleyway and they'll be like, well, don't walk down that alleyway again
Yeah, do you think they'd be like, well, maybe your mom deserved to get shit on her headstone
Bro, so fucked. Also, I would probably end up killing this man
Uh, the cemetery allowed them to set up cameras and then dude showed up at 6 15 a.m. Four days in a row
And and piss and shit every day. It's morning morning dump. Yeah. Yeah, right on this woman's grave
6 15 a.m. That means his motherfuckers set in alarms
Yeah, this is fucked did she do I gotta say from what I've gotten from this guy
He seems like a pretty regimented to this to like the t scheduled person
So like he's probably in really good shape because this requires a lot of dedication a lot of dedication
Gotta get up early if you want it and you need to be on a pretty good schedule
Yeah, you know your body needs to sleep early. Well regulated
Good for him on that part
I gotta say I think so far this guy outside of you know, defecating on a on a dead woman's grave. Yeah, it sounds like a solid guy
He sounds like he
He never gives up on stuff. Yeah, you know, like he's very passionate about the things that he enjoys
Oh, yeah, this is a man
You know how they say like, you know, like the so-and-so is super stubborn like this guy never forgives or forgets. Yeah, clearly not
Uh, and then it was so sad though. It's just like this heart is breaking my heart
Uh, he's been leaving bags of poo and pissing on my mother's tombstone almost every morning like a normal routine. All right, hold on
Assisted by his wife
Should you drill in there drop them off for school be back in ten, honey
That's so wild. All right, hear me out
I might say something that might be a little unpopular
Can't wait for this
If my mom died, I need to see the videos right now. I just pissed
Oh, I thought you said if my mom dying. No, I don't want to see that if my mom died, right?
I would be more upset if someone pissed on her grave than shit on her grave
Because the shit I would think I'd almost be more impressed. The piss seems more disrespectful
No, yeah shit
But think about it
If they shit on dirt it's on dirt. Whatever if they're pissing on the headstone
It's piss. I don't know. I can't explain why but I feel like pissing on something is way more like what's more
Like it doesn't make sense. But what is more disrespectful? Do you think pissing on something or spitting on something?
What is the something
Anything I think about me
So if you piss on me or you spit at me, is that what you're asking? Yes. Yeah, sure
What are you more upset by the piss or the spit
Bro piss. Oh, I don't know. I think I'd be more I'd be more upset about the spit
It's just that the spit can happen
It usually happens in a more disrespectful way and you're not used to someone pissing on someone
Yeah, how do you in a disrespect? How do you disrespectfully piss like imagine you're at a party and you get into an argument with some dude or whatever, right?
And then he comes up behind you when you're just sitting down and he pisses on your head
I'd be mad. I'd be mad. I'd be way more mad that he pissed on my head. No, but I think the thing with this spit though
You start getting cocks involved. I'm gonna get pissed off. Yes, you know what I mean and pissed on you come on me
You fucking piss on me
I think the thing I think the thing with the spit which makes it more disrespectful and worse in my situation and same with the piss and shit
is
It's like such an abrupt movement that it seems more disrespectful like poo, you know, like it's right there. It's button. It's angry piss is like
You know what I mean, like it it comes out
But it's it's like I don't like that it's more and the shit look what I'm when someone shits on something
It like their body is going through it. Like they're excreting
secreting
fecal matter
That it's just like coming out of such a slower now if it had been like a poop ball that he like shot at his ass
That'd have been a different story. So speed is what you're worried about
I think the speed is really what makes it the most disrespectful
I would be kind of I'd be more
I'd be like, all right, dude. Please stop shitting on my mom's grave. But like I'd be also like, what did she do?
I just want yeah, I want to know too. What did mommy do? It wasn't I wasn't I'm sure this guy's fucking
Mania clearly he's out of he's off the rocker, but she had to have gone Tom
Well, maybe she just divorced me. She's like chill. I thought he was probably pissing in the yard
Let's be clear you you piss in the yard. I careful
Let's be clear about something
I am in no way saying that this man is right for doing what he did and I'm not saying that the woman's actions
Spurred this upon him, but there is something that this dead woman. I I just want to know
What is the reason whether?
you know
Coherent or not
And legitimate or not that this man feels the need to after almost 50 years
Go to this woman's grave
And and also he need to know that she died and also also he need to know where her fucking gravestone was
bro
What do you do?
If you find someone doing that like legitimately, bro, why would you tell the police?
I should be like, yeah, they're fucking pissing and shit. I'm my mom. Fuck that. I'm showing up. Yeah, you you you're rolling deep
Yeah, bro, you know me. I'm a big mama's boy
My mom well you have it in term of your mom. I why how the fuck else man? I guess you're right there. Yeah, that makes sense
honestly, I
like
Will become irrational
When it comes to my mom
Yeah, and if I found out that someone was doing that and then there was a camera setup
And I know they showed up four days in row at the same time
I will I'm not gonna tell the police. No, I'll just be there
and when you
show up
I don't know what will happen. I'm not gonna sit here and be like, yo, it's on. I'm gonna kill him or whatever, but
I feel like it's not outside the realm of possibility that I just like hit this person with a bat
Like I I feel like that's so
I don't know. It's crazy that like I feel like the disrespectful acts are worse than like
sort of
I don't know
Disrespectful acts to people who can't defend themselves
are more
Enraging than like
Sort of violent acts to people that are like trying to yes. Yes. That makes sense. I'm like, oh
Like I would I would just fucking lose it. I don't know. I think, you know, like I or uh,
I go to his house
And you piss and shit on him forget about pissing and shit. I get the whole neighborhood
And we're all shitting in bags and they're going right through the front window
Oh, I would collect like that's a thing like you know how I am when someone pranks me, you know with
You know something I need to do it 10 times bigger and better
If if I found out someone was through his window if I found out someone was pissing and shitting on my mom's grave
And we're like, all right. Okay. I collect their own shit
I collect my own
And like whoever's in my house for like a month
And I fucking unload on this piece of shit
I unload I'm telling you like oh you want to do one pee pee poo poo on my mom's grave
I am literally going to dump a fucking septic tank's worth of fecal matter on your front door and see how you like it
I would yeah, bro at that point too. Oh my god
They should have never gave me money because I'm gonna fucking get a crane
Oh, yeah, and just and just fill up like a giant tub of shit
And then put it over your house and just dump bro. I'm putting I'm putting I'll tell you exactly what I'm doing
I am putting a porta potty outside of a construction site
I'm picking it up
I'm dumping it on the fucking roof of your house
Every friday every week every single Friday ready
You think you do one little pee pee poo poo? And that's cool. Wait until you see the pee pee poo poo
I have for you. Yeah, because it ain't gonna be one person's pee pee poo poo
And it's gonna be like gaggle. It's gonna be like sick too. I'll put it at it
I'll put it outside of like yeah, uh, like, you know, like 30 feet from a retirement home
You know where they're like worried. They're not gonna make it. No. Yeah, and you know like and you know, there's those last few
Shits are horrible. Oh my god. Those like old people shits are the worst. Yeah, the dying shits are bad
Yeah, they're miserable just like the people and then we take them and we just spray it
I'm like, you know what? I'll put that shit. I'll fucking put that shit in a hose in a bazooka
Yeah, honestly kudos to these people to be able to like just keep it together and be like, you know
We're just like heartbroken. Like I don't know why someone would do this. I would be like
Telling the news like
If this guy ends up dead, it was me
Just know that if it ends up dead, it was me also anything that happens to his house. It's probably me too
Whatever time you gotta do or just don't say anything and let this stuff happen and then you tell him you like you tell I tell
That's what you do
You can't steal something that has been stolen. You catch my drift. I feel like you got to put a gun to this guy's head
Well, that's another way to go about it. Yeah, you could also kill the guy too
Yeah, I don't think you kill the guy or you could beat the definitely put a gun to his head and be like, bro
Wrong grave or you can just beat the brakes off this guy. I call it even. Yeah that too
But in between beating him up, I'd say what did my mom do? I just I I'm a little yeah
I'd be like, yeah, tell me tell me like tell me what mommy did. Yeah
It's like I'll let you sneak one more piss in if you have a good reason, but that's it. No more shit
You cut a deal with them like you can come back piss every day. No shit though. No shit
It was a pretty good reason. She was a pretty big bitch
You're right
Someone like really didn't like their own mom too and they found it and they were just like
I'm gonna join in and they did it themselves. Yeah
It's like someone got here before me
It's like they get there and they're like, oh my god someone
Did this thing this is so gross or you would just you know what I would do
I would just
I would show up like a half an hour before you got there and just tape a piece of paper on there and just say like
Hi, john or hi dean whatever his name is. Yeah dean. I I'm just being like eliker or something like that
Yeah, I'd be like, you know, be careful when you start your call like I'll just start fucking with them psychologically
Go crazy. Oh, I would just like hang up just right there right right a picture of their like the address on like a piece of paper
Yeah
Also, he's gotta have a dead mom
Oh, his mom has been gone for a while. You piss on my mom's grave
You don't want to know what I'm gonna do to your fucking mom's grave
Someone's gotta pay. That's all I'm gonna say. I know joe's gonna do to the grave
What you dig a little hole and you're gonna fuck the grave
That's all the time we have for today, uh, Jesus christ, that's not where I was going at all
F alvarez 80 85 on twitter the frank alvarez on uh, camio instagram youtube
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