The Basement Yard - #368 - This Company Was Blowing Up Your Dead Grandma's Body

Episode Date: October 17, 2022

Joe and Frank discuss what happened to the man's grandma after her body was donated to science. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. What the fuck was that? Whoa! What were you doing? You went down low. I was just reacting to you. We left that door open. That's okay. But why did you make teeth like a dog? I didn't make teeth like a bulldog teeth.

I didn't do that. I was reacting to your start. You were like, welcome back. I did not say that at all. You kind of sounded a little- I said, welcome back. No, you were like, welcome back. What does that shirt say?

Marbella. Marbella swimming. That's, I think that's what that means, right? Ask me if I've been there. To swimming? Marbella. Where is that, Spain? How the fuck would I know that, Joey?

This is another one of those- You're Spanish! Oh, so all Spanish people, they know everything about every Spanish-speaking country. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. They say weird things over in Spain. Like what?

Well, first of all, they don't eat dinner until like midnight, Joe. And two, they say like, they have to like a lisp with some of the things they say. Like what? They just be like, Oh, vosotros, España. And it's like, bro, shut the fuck up.

Fix your tongue. Wow, that's, fix your tongue. Fix their tongues. Listen to this white man. Whoa, dude. I am more Colombian than I am anything else. And the other parts are Greek, white, Egyptian. Not white.

Not white. Not very white. Not white at all. So, you know, if you ever get rid of me on the show, we have a story now. Yeah, I mean- Yeah, clear. But oh, it's another one of your cute shirts

as I'm sitting here in just like a raggedy old that's not raggedy. Thank you. It's just a shirt. It is just a shirt. Is it gray? Because if it's white, then it's raggedy. But I think it's gray.

No, that's white. Is it? Yeah. Okay, that's faded. Okay, the light, the light ain't doing me any- Just say it's gray. No, but it's not. I'm not a liar.

On top of everything, I'm not a liar. That's good for you. Yeah. But you're wearing a shirt with a Spain, what does it say, Marbella? Swimming. Oh, I'm okay with swimming. You on the team?

Yeah, that's what it- Oh, congrats. I didn't know in your spare time that you found the time to join a Spanish swimming team. You remember like the last two episodes where you were a full Yankee uniform? Yeah. Yeah.

We're gonna forget about that, I guess. Well, no, I support my team. Tell me how much you support. Oh, hold the fuck on. Here we go. Hold on. Please God Almighty, tell me in your time that you've been,

for some reason, liking little toy cars driving around really fast. What the fuck are you talking about? F1, Grand Prix. Oh. Take an interest in a Spanish swimming team? No, Frankie. Jesus Christ.

Well, first of all, why did you say it like that? No, Frankie. That I would have- I don't know why I said it like that. I wear the Yankee stuff because I'm a devout Yankee fan. I will live and die with the pinstripes. It's just a shirt.

Honestly. But you can't fucking do that, Joey. It's just a shirt. No. Your shirt is your identity. You're a walking billboard for that. That feels like- Did you notice crack his neck?

Yeah. No, it's just some, you know. You're a walking billboard. Name one player. There's no player. Name one, there's not even, I don't even think it's not a country. Well, Spain is.

Yeah. So Marbella swimming must be the Marbella swimming team. I don't know, bro. You're not allowed to wear things around me if I'm not allowed to tear them to shreds. I am aware of that. So the fact that you're just casually wearing like F1 Grand Prix hats and Marbella swimming shirts.

This isn't an F1 Grand Prix hat. I know, not right now. Oh, I've worn one. You've worn them in the past. Yeah, I have. You showed up one day and you were like, this is Ferrari. And I was like, the car?

You were kinda. Like you expect me to know fucking, you know, Giancarlo Ferrari from the fucking F1 team. What the fuck am I supposed to know this shit? Giancarlo Ferrari. Is that his real name? No. Anyone in F1 named Giancarlo?

No. They make money? Like a lot of money? A ton of money. How much is a ton? Compare it to like Russell Wilson. The top two guys right now are getting paid like 50 and 45 million a year.

That's nothing. Okay. I guess not. That's like half what you make a year. Just about, yeah. Yeah. How you doing? Good.

I'm on a trip. I wanted to, yeah, I am going on a trip, but fuck that. I wanted to talk about this because someone sent it to me and I was like, this is incredible. Or actually, no, I saw it on someone's story on Instagram and I was like, I have to talk about that. But I didn't know if it was real. Cause this is what it says, right?

It's a Daily Mail article. And it says man. Daily Mail. Yeah. That's when you get the mail every day. Man who donated his mother's. Uh-oh. God almighty.

Okay. Here we go. I'm gonna start that over. Here's what's in the news. Man who donated his mother's body to an Arizona center for Alzheimer's research discovers it was sold on the US. It was sold to the US military for $6,000 strapped

to a chair and blown up in a blast test. Whoa, dude. Is that real? Well, Daily Mail, naturally, they're a pretty reputable bunch. I mean, they are. I'm gonna type in 6,000 mother's body blast. Pretty sure Daily Mail's owned by Bejbira.

Yes, Bejbira. Yes, dude. He's suing body donation company after mother's corpse was used for bomb testing. See, that's tough though. Hold on. The donation center is no longer operating. I mean, they're strapping dead bodies.

Well, duh, they've been blown to smithereens. Yeah. It was raided in 2014 by the FBI following accusations that it was selling donated bodies for profit. So they were flipping bodies. They'd be like, yo, you're a sweet aunt, no, no, died fucking aunt, no, no, by the way.

Then they would take her, right? And they would just sell her to like fucking, I don't know. Flipping bodies. I mean, this is an entrepreneurial spirit. There are so many people on Instagram that are like, wake up, don't sleep. Wake up again, sell bodies.

Yeah, sell bodies. Find corner the market. Drop ship bodies, dude. This is kind of genius because like, think of like the real Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg. These are people that have just kind of cornered their market and are considered like icons in what they've done.

These people are kind of onto something because hear me out. Joey. Yes. If I say, yo, I want to buy that hat off you. I want to buy that hat right now. Yeah. But then I go and I use that hat

and turn it into a fucking toilet paper. Do you care? I would if it was my sweet grandma. Bro, she's dead. I know, but strap her to her chair and blow her body up. Fuck. I'm sorry. When is that not cool?

I'll be honest with you. I thought it was cool. That's kind of fire. I'll be honest with you, right? Hold on, there's more. This is the part that's not cool. It was during the 2014 raid, the agents made several horrific discoveries,

including a woman's head sewn onto a male's torso. Okay. Dismembered limbs and heads strewn about. Yeah. And a cooler filled with male dicks. They wrote genitalia. Okay, dicks. Well, it could be balls too.

Could be. D and Bs. But you know, it's dicks. So this place was just like getting dead bodies, you know, strapping them to a chair and blowing them up with missiles. And then just like, well, no, they were selling them to people that were strapping them to a chair

and blowing them up with missiles. I gotta say something, all right? This might be a bit of a hot take. I'd like that done to me. I kind of want this done. I would like when I die, put me in a chair, maybe in like Nevada somewhere. Yeah.

And just fucking drop a bomb on my shit. How sweet would it be? Cause like, we've come so far in life where people are like, oh, they want to be, you know, like a ceremonial pyre, put on a fucking kayak or a wooden canoe and someone shoots a fucking arrow of fire at them. That would be tight.

That would be super tight. Oh my God. Or like, you know, like, oh, put me in a pond and like, grow a tree from me. Nice, cool. But, you know, dead tree. We're evolving to the point where it's like, bro, shoot me in the middle of my chest

with a ballistic missile? Yeah. I'm not upset about that. Yeah. I think. And explosions are cool. Now listen, if my mom died and she were like, I want to be with each of you, I wouldn't give her away.

No. I understand they did it for Alzheimer research. Yeah. So that's a nice thing. Good for them. But like, you think your old mom is gonna be the person to break, you know, cracks the case? I mean, it helps.

It helps a little bit, but it's like, how many bodies have been donated? Your little old mom. Yeah. You think you got a special mom? How special is she? She's dead. You know?

Jesus Christ. Yeah. No one's gonna look at fucking my mom's brain and go, that's the key, but they need things to study. They've got plenty. She's helping though. Is she? Yeah.

How much? They gotta test it out. They gotta like, you know, how much? Like, you know, if you didn't want your mom's body to be fucking absolutely mutilated and mangled, you shouldn't have given it to people that are, you're allowing to do that. Well, bro, if you think like I'm doing a nice thing here,

like imagine this, right? Imagine you're, you know, you're like, I'm gonna donate one of my kidneys. Yes. And I'm gonna save a kid. Cause someone's like, yo, this kid needs a kidney. And like, it was like this whole story. You're like, okay.

And you, you give your kidney away. And then you find out like two people in Indonesia just playing tennis with it. No, no, no. You'd be a little fucking pissed off. No. Like I got the surgery. I lost a kidney because I thought I was saving a kid

and now they're playing hopscotch with my fucking kidney. First of all, if I found out two kids in Arizona were playing hopscotch with my old kidney, I'd ask, who won? Did, did my kidney act as an advantage? Because that'd be, you know, Kudo points to me. Second of all, I, if I'm giving away the rights, if I'm saying like, yo, like here.

Yeah, but under the, you, you have an idea. Under the auspices, Joey, I understand. But like, maybe they did use it. That's called a contract. Yeah, maybe they did use it. And they found like your mom's brain is dog shit. And they gave her to a fucking, to the department of defense.

And they blew it up. And they blew it to Smithereens. What's so bad about that? You gotta let me know. Let me along the way, let me watch. That's, that's the part that I was getting to. I want to see the explosion. That's the part I was getting to.

If you're going to do that, I just want to see it. Also, can I say this? Why, why do we need to do this anyway? Well, we need to see how missiles re, you know, Joey. Bro, we need to really figure out how missiles react to human flesh. Dude, how, like, I don't understand why we need to strap bombs to dead bodies.

What is the point of that? Like we're seeing how big the explosion is. What was that show, what was that show that used to be on Spike TV? It was like a deadliest warrior or the deadliest something. And they would create like, it would be like the KGB versus, you know, the American Marines.

And like they would have like the jelly humans with the skeleton in them. Oh yeah. And they would like shoot. And they would shoot it. And they'd say like, oh, let's see how this reacts. You know, or the mythbusters. Yeah, yeah. I mean, we could just use those, but it's kinda,

you know, like people always say like, pig, you know, pig flesh is the best comparison to human flesh. But there's nothing like that. Fresh flesh. You're chasing the dragon at that point. Yeah. You just want that fresh, good old, you know, good old person.

You think killing someone would be dope? Depends on how and who. Depends on how and who. I gotta say. If it was like, you know, like a real bad person and like I got them and I killed them, I'd probably feel pretty good about it. But like, if it was like a real, like innocent person

and I like hit him with my car accidentally and they died, I wouldn't feel nice. Duh. Obviously, you idiot. There's gotta be a, I've said this before. You gotta, what were you gonna say? I gotta go careful here. You've said it before, so. There, I've had people in my life that I would murder.

Good God, Frank, that was a lot to put on me right there. Now I have to report it. No, I've never, I've never hurt anybody. Yeah, I know. But, how you doing? $6,000, man. I gotta, all right. Of your family members,

who would you allow that to happen to? Like, who would you be like, this person deserves to get blown up? I'll say this. Well, none of them, bro. That deserves in like a bad way. I'm saying like, they would think it's cool. I think only me.

I think I'm the only one who would think that was sick. I think Keith would find that pretty cool. Maybe. As long as you can like, just like staple a bag of Doritos to his hand. Or like, hopefully by the time I die, we can like clone like prehistoric animals and like a T-Rex eat my dead body.

Dude, hear me out. What if instead of like, you know how they do, you know, death by lethal injection, you know, there's some places I don't think they still do shooting gallery much, but shooting gallery used to be a thing, hanging. What if it was like,

you kind of give me the lethal injection, but then you throw me in a tiger pit. You'd be dead. Well, that's what I'm saying. Like, if I was like a serial killer, I killed a bunch of people, Jeffrey Dahmer. Yeah, but what would be the point of the injection? Just make me fall asleep.

Okay. So it's kind of like death by lethal injection, but like make it like delayed. So it like, it kind of goes by like, like three hours and I need to survive in a tiger pit. Yeah, that wouldn't take three hours at all. That wouldn't take three hours at all. Oh, I'll push you in there with a gorilla.

Let you try to fight that. No, I'm not saying I'd be able to fight a gorilla hand to hand and win, but I'd definitely be able to, you know, reason with them. Yeah, I know. I think reason with the, what's the longest amount of time you could survive in a tiger cage?

It really depends what kind of mood the tiger's in. Well fed. So not hungry. No, not hungry. Pretty docile. I think that, well, if they're docile, I would just say no and donate me. But how long could you make that last?

I don't, until it's hungry, honestly. I don't think that I could ever make that happen. Maybe I could hide. Oh, they'll find you. They have pretty good noses. Well, I would jump down. You know how they have like the moat? Don't they have like a moat?

Bro, you ever seen tigers in water? No, honestly, no. Bro, there's a picture. I don't know if it's a tiger. It might be a cheetah or a cougar. Can they swim underwater? Bro, have you never seen this picture? I know they can swim, but like doggie paddle now.

Well, they're kitty paddles. A cat of prey in water. I remember when I saw this picture and it terrified me. I'm afraid of cr... Holy fuck. Dude, can you imagine swimming and you see that? Fuck that. That's scary.

That's very scary, isn't it? I don't like that. Underwater murder cat. Underwater murder cat. Jaguars don't mind water and will chase prey into it. Nowhere is safe. Just move to the moon. Is that what it says?

Dude, yeah, I don't fuck with those types of cats at all. Yeah, I don't think I'd last very long. I think they'd do me in pretty quickly. I think I would get killed by like any animal, like anything that could... We're not opening this book. I know, you think you could beat every animal? No, not every animal, most, honestly.

There are very few that I think I would not be able to kill. I wouldn't be able to kill most cats. No, all cats. Lions, tigers. No, I could get like a mountain lion, a smaller cat. A mountain lion will fucking kill you. Have you seen that? I know it can, but I have the best chance

of all the cats with a mountain lion. I'm talking the ones that are like way like 3,000 pounds. Yeah, I mean, tigers are fucking huge. Tigers and lions. Yeah, they're huge. Are very big. Yeah. Jaguars are big.

And fast. And very fast. Cheetahs are the fastest. Jaguars. We just said that. I mean, panthers. Yeah, panthers, panthers are beautiful though. I think mountain lion.

Oh yeah? I would like to get killed by a panther. I would too, because they're like kind of sexy. They are, they've got like, this is, you know what gets me. Yo, you know what gets me. Speaking of sexy, yeah, I know the shoulders. The shoulder walk.

Speaking of sexy, dude, for some reason recently, some random guy who doesn't speak English, I think he's like from Italy or something, but he's like a model. And he's been liking my pictures. And I was like, oh, let me see. You want to see him? Kind of.

I don't, I don't have it. It was just that day. You can't go through. I don't know his name. Was it like something cute, like Luca Guadagnino? No, it wasn't. I think that's an actor. Luca Guadagnino.

I think an actor. That's like Vinnie from the Jersey Shores last name. Oh, maybe I'm wrong then. Yeah, I know. All right. But no, I was like, what the fuck? Like bro, if I was gay, I'd be in Italy right now. Well, and if he was gay.

Yeah, I don't know why. I assume that for some reason. You assume he was gay because of what? Because he was liking photos. And so any man that likes another man's photos is gay? I felt like in the context, I felt like gayness. Was he liking gay-like photos?

Like you in the shower, where you're just like, oh, I hate showers. No, because I don't have a picture like that. You posted some. But like selfies. You posted some thirst traps, you know it. Yeah, but like something like selfies. Like if he's liking like two of my selfies

and like some more like videos, which is like fine. Oh yeah, you know, maybe you think something funny. Yeah. But then the photos, but then the selfies. And I was like, okay, we're entering a little gayness here. But I'm looking at this guy. I'm surprised.

I gotta say. This guy was a rocket ship. Yeah, I got pretty hot. I'm pretty surprised. No idea what he looks like. I like that's pretty hot. I'm surprised Italian model, come on. Yeah, I know.

I'm surprised you didn't react to my TikTok. And you didn't see the TikTok I made. You know what's funny? I made a TikTok. I was gonna make it a point to bring this up. Yeah. Because you remember when you were trying to show me something in your phone, you had just mad pictures.

No. And I was like, what is this? No. You were showing me something in your photos. No. Like I think of Ruby or something and then you were scrolling and I saw all those photos. I don't know.

And I'm like, what the fuck is this? I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah. No, so I posted, I found this app that takes a screenshot of your face and shows you the 10 celebrities that you look like. So it's a bit. No, that's what the app did.

Yeah. I saw the TikTok, Frank. And there's Clooney. Momoa. Yes. Who else? So I look like them. Because this is the app.

This is not me. Frankie, you made the TikTok. I didn't make the TikTok. I saw the pictures in your phone. Joey, that didn't happen, Joey. Okay. That didn't happen. We're just going to play a picture.

Fine, show me the proof. Take your phone out. It's okay. And go to your recently deleted photos. Okay. You got rid of them like that? You sneak? No, look.

Albums. Recently deleted. Did you clear out your recently deleted? That's my work phone, Joey. But those pictures were just like you took up the ground, it looked like. It was my work phone. I use it for work.

But no, that was the app. I didn't do that. Yeah, I did see that. And then I saw people, you know, I hope that goes viral. People are going to think you're serious and go fucking hate shit on you. I am serious.

I know that you, yeah, I know. I shouldn't have said that. That's what the app did, Joey. I don't know what you're talking about. You know what I did this weekend? What? And I need to know where you feel on this. I want.

Not an expression. I need to know where you feel on this. What the fuck are you talking about? I'm sorry, I'm tired. Talking right now, doing an episode is just quite laborious for me. Frankie, I swear to fucking God. Is it your mission to just like

fit that into every episode? I watch Hocus Pocus too. I watch it too. What do you think? Okay. Yeah, I liked it. I thought it was cute. That was cute.

But where's the first one ranked for you? I haven't seen it in like 20 years. So I don't really remember it at all. Like all that, like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I remember then. You're gonna tell me. Yeah. You went into Hocus Pocus too.

Without, yeah. Raw as, raw as hell. Raw. Just no condom, didn't care. No. No spit. You met the movie at the dive bar by the dumps. We had sex in the bathroom by the dive bar.

And you didn't even, are you kidding me? Yeah. Why didn't you watch the first one? It was right there. And I was like, I'm just gonna watch it. So you didn't want to say, hey, let me, oh, this will be cute. Let me watch the first one first.

No. Dude. You didn't have much to do with the first one. You need to know who the Sanders and Sisters are. I know, obviously I know that. Like I knew them three. But I didn't like the fucking the other dude. Billy?

Billy Butcherson? Was he in the first one? The, the, the dead guy. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I did. Yeah, see that, I didn't remember. You don't remember Billy Butcherson?

No. Are you kidding me? No. I feel like this movie has such a cult following. It is, it's a great movie, Joey. You really like it that much? Bro, I, I've said this and I'll say it again. It's not like, how do you compare it to like,

a different, like Christmas? Where does it? Well, how do you compare it apples to pine cones here, Joey? There's no, why am I comparing? Also non-expression. Also non-expression. Why am I comparing apples to pine cones? Why am I comparing hocus pocus to Christmas?

Because I'm trying to see how, like, how big of a movie it actually is. Like, I see how the Grinch stole Christmas is a huge thing. And it means so much to Christmas. Personally, personally, if you give me, if you had me curate a list of 10 Halloween movies to watch during the Halloween season, hocus pocus is on that list.

Really? Without a doubt. Without a doubt. I hate the singing. What? You hate the singing? Like when it randomly breaks down to song, I'm like, what are you doing here?

Well, here's the thing. And it's just like two songs, a whole fucking three songs. Here's the thing, here's the thing. Yo, also they put that hot woman in that, in hocus pocus too. Hot woman? That's a rocket ship from Ted Lasso. Oh, the one who, is she also in sex education?

No, not her. Oh, I guess I'm wrong. But that woman, for some reason, just super does it for you. Gets it for you, huh? Right? She was a witch. Yeah, she was a good one. Oh, yeah.

Well, I guess a bad one. Yeah, no, I will say this, my issues with the singing is that in the first one, she only sang once. Winner Fred. Fucking, that was great, by the way. I've said this and there was zero hyperbole in this and I tweeted this out. Bet Midler in hocus pocus one is one of the best performances

in a movie I've ever seen in my entire life. Really? Bro, she's so good. But she sings in the dance. She sings in the dance. That's the only time in the first movie when she sings I put a spell on you. I put a spell on you and now you're mine.

The second one, they're like making it like a musical and that's not what the first one was. That was a little bit of a departure. But I understand if you got Bet Midler singing, you'd utilize Bet Midler singing. Yeah, I just Googled Bet Midler. Bet Midler? Midler.

Yeah. Hasn't begged back in the day. Did she? Kind of. The same. Okay. But I don't know how that's relevant, Joey. I don't know why you need to sexualize her, right?

I don't know why you need to sexualize her right in front of this episode. Oh my God. But I saw him. I bet you did. Yeah. The movie's okay. I thought it was good.

It's, you know, what would be, have you started watching horror movies? Cause I've gotten something for you. I think Halloween, no, I haven't. I haven't. I haven't watched any Halloween movies. Okay. You got to start.

Maybe stop going out every now and then. No, I will watch more. Actually, no, there's something on tonight. But tomorrow night, I will watch a Halloween movie. Okay. But like you can't give me the fuck in 1980 Halloween, bro. Like I get it. It has some sort of meaning to like film

and whatever the fuck, but it sucks. Like it sucks now. You got to be careful with what you're saying. I'm just saying it sucks. You are, you're offending John Carpenter's classic. Okay. I know it was. It doesn't suck.

Joey, at the time people fucking pissed their pants watching that movie. That's right. It's age well. It's absolutely age well. Piss their pants back. Don't cares, dude. You know what it is.

They believe in Medusa. You know what it is. I don't think that's one is accurate. You know what it is. Is that you want just like fucking viscera in your horror movies and blood and guts and gore. When the reality is that like Halloween is just like a slow burn.

Like it gets you, it feels, you feel claustrophobic. You feel like there's a voyeuristic watching. I like thrillers. I like thrillers. I prefer thrillers. So like sounds of the lambs. Yes. You've seen it.

Of course. Oh. But you've not seen John Carpenter's Halloween. I haven't. No. And I haven't seen Red Dragon. That's a good one. Not as good as sounds of the lambs.

Sounds of the lambs. I hate the way she says his name. Doctor, doctor, doctor. Who is that again? Jody Foster. Yeah, Jody Foster. Doctor, doctor, doctor. Is her, her mouth is a fucking circle.

It is, it is a circle. Doctor, doctor, doctor. She's, well, you'd be pumped to know in the sequel Hannibal from 2000, she's replaced by Julianne Moore. Another one. She's, what was her name? Clarice.

Clarice. Hello, Clarice. I wasn't saying Clarice, that's not. Close enough. Hello, Clarice. Doctor, doctor, doctor. That's not what you would say his name, bro. It is a little weird.

Yeah. I think in that movie, you know he doesn't blink the whole movie? Fire. Yeah, it's kind of freaky, right? I like that a lot. He's just like, yeah. And then when she, when he goes, I'm like ew.

I ate his fava beans with a fresh chianti. Or I ate his liver with some fava beans and a fresh chianti. That is so gross. So gross. That hurt my chest. Yeah, that's tough to do. Yeah, I tried to do it too.

It was a little hard. But when they come into the room and the guy's just like hanging. Oh, when they have him in the prison cell? Yeah. I love that part because when he's beating the guard, he's like. He's breathing mad hard.

He's beating the dog shit out of this guy with a night stick. Yeah. Oh, I was pretty sick. Go watch Sounds of the Lambs. You might as well just spoil the part for it. It's okay. Well, it's fine.

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deserves some commentary from us, from the basement boys. But before I get to that, I want to let you guys know to go check out Patreon, patreon.com slash the basement yard. We tell you guys about it all the time. What is Patreon? Well, guess what? It's where you can get exclusive content

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I know. That's what I do. Yeah. I'm trying to get through it quick. A week in advance. You sign up for that next tier. You get exclusive episodes every single Friday morning that people don't get.

Those are pretty much off the rails. We did an episode where Joe actually, we went through some terminology from the drag queen scene and we wanted to see how good Joe would be at it. Because guess what? If we get to 12,000 patrons, we're gonna be doing a drag show.

We're gonna have a drag queen makeup artist come in here, do our makeup, document the process, do an episode in it. So go check it out, patreon.com slash the basement yard today. Why do you gotta comment on how fast I'm doing things, Joey? Because you look like you were running out of air. A lot of people like it fast. You don't worry about what air I got in me.

You think people like it fast or do you think they like a steady motion? A steady flow. Do you think they want twister or they want juvenile slow motion? Twister. Twista. Oh, twista.

You don't remember twista? I remember twista. Yeah, twista. Do it fast, baby, do it fast. Damn, girl, I can't do it that fast, but I got someone that can, twister. You don't remember that? Of course, Frank.

And then can you do a single line from any of his songs? Twista? Yeah. Make you whistle up at the open night. Oh, overnight celebrity. I forgot about that song. Play something that he holds in the back. Na, na, na, na.

It's a good song. It is. Yeah. What were you talking about before, by the way? Oh, well, our friend Lizzo. Yes. We've talked about Lizzo. Never got back to us.

So fucked up. Yeah, kind of a little mean. Kelly didn't get back to us. Lizzo didn't get back to us. Yeah, Kelly, that was a big one. That one hurt for a couple months. We're reading the tea leaves here. We kind of understand where we fall.

Yeah, I thought Lizzo was going to actually see us talking about her. I will say this. She might not reach out to us directly. But if on any of her next albums, we see a song called Clang Clang, that's a little vindication for us. There was someone in there that said, like, don't feel bad.

She says bang bang at one point or something like that in the song. How does that even? Because you could think the song, like, when you hear it. I'm not hearing Clang Clang out of nowhere. But oh, you 100% are hearing Clang Clang out of nowhere. She doesn't say it. No, she says it at certain.

She says bang bang. Well, man, bang bang, don't I be great. That's not the lyrics either, dude. Well, whatever the bang bang is, Joey. I don't know if that there is a bang bang. Bang bang in a minute. Different song. Completely different song.

Different artist. Is it really? Yes. What song is that? That's Jessie J, maybe? Isn't that the one that did the? Bang bang into the roof. I don't want a pretty face.

I don't want any of them. That's Jessie McCartney. Are you getting anything correct? Where the fuck am I going? Jessie McCartney, beautiful song. That's a good song, too. I don't want your pretty face. I don't want any handhold.

I don't want any handhold. I want you in your beautiful soul. You know what I want to hear. You know what I want to hear. I don't want any handhold. I want you in your beautiful soul. Oh, he goes high. He goes high at certain point.

You can't let me go in there and try to harmonize, Joe. It is a tough song to do. It is a bit of a tough song. But so if Lizzo, she's back in the news. Yo, sorry to... No, you're not. Go ahead. It's your show, realistically.

I thought this was really funny, but there's this kid. He's a comedian. His name's Eric Delacentro, and he pointed this out. And I was like, what the fuck? But he made a video, and he talked about the lyrics to that Hanson song. You ever read the lyrics? It's like, mm, bop, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da.

The fucking verses, dude. It's so... It's like, mad deep. Is it really? Yeah, he pointed out I was dying. I believe... Dude, here's the lyrics. Wait, hold on.

I believe I heard that Hanson is like a Christian rock band, and they just tricked us. Kind of like Creed did, and fucking Evanescence. I'll never forgive those bastards. Evanescence. Evanescence was like Christian rock. Yeah, Creed makes sense. Evanescence.

Can you tear me hair? Yeah, Evanescence was like, bring me. Wake me up. Wake me up and find. It's all, bro, look at Evanescence's shit. It's all like fucking Christian rock. What the fuck? Save me.

Like, they're like, God, fucking wake me up. Oh, like, save me. Yeah, save me, little fucks. Call my name and save me from my life. Dude, who didn't know what I could do with Evanescence? I love that. Frankie, you don't sound like them. What are you saying?

Get the fuck out of here. I'm pretty good. I had no idea I could do that. Dude, what? That was bad good. That was very good, Joey. I'm not trying to be offensive, but... Wake me up and find.

I'm not trying to be offensive here, but you sound like you're... That sounds like Evanescence. It sounds like you're... Joey. It does. Call my name and save me from my life. It's also not...

I don't know what the words are. Save me from myself. Whatever it is. I saw... All right, give me the um-bop lyrics. Dude. What is um-bop is like... Yeah, I know the chorus.

But like... Yeah, and listen. This is how the song starts. You have so many relationships in this life, only one or two will last. That's the first lines of the song. Kind of. That hurts a little bit.

Yeah, you go through all the pain and strife. Strife was such a big word back then. Gonads and strife. You remember that, right? Yeah. You go through all this pain and strife, then you turn your back and they're gone so fast. What the fuck?

Damn, bro, I just want to hear you talking about um-bops. Um-bops. Yeah. What is an um-bop though? I have no clue. Give me more. Is there more context clues as to what an um-bop is? And they're gone so fast.

Yeah. Oh, so hold on to the ones who really care. In the end, they'll be the only ones there. And when you get old and start losing your hair, can you tell me who will still care? Fucking Jesus. Bop, we got bop, bop, bop, bop. Yeah, dude, like...

Crazy. That's a little deep. Yeah, I remember Becca was telling me that, like, her and her sisters liked um-bop and Hansen grown up because it was one of the few bands they could actually listen to. Like, openly. Holy shit, were they that Christian? Her parents were pretty Christian at that point.

They weren't allowed to listen to like... They weren't allowed to like watch... They don't listen to Eminem. They couldn't like watch The Smurfs, Scooby-Doo. The Smurfs? Oh, it was about like... Apparently The Smurfs... Well, I don't know about that.

No, I'm pretty sure. Oh, okay. It was like a thing that came out. Her parents were, you know, more, you know... Significantly more. But what's wrong with The Smurfs? I think they were... Well, you just said it.

Apparently they were the Jews. Yeah, but that was like... I feel like later on, it was like... I think it has something to do with like demon worship or like devil worship or some shit. Oh. And like another one is like having to do with like magic and witchcraft.

Like her parents were not cool with them like, you know, with like Harry Potter and stuff like that. Harry fucking Potter, dude? Bro, it's all witches and warlocks. What's wrong with that? How is that against religion? Witches. I think...

I think Jesus... Well, hold on. Bro, there's no witches. I think Jesus was like not cool. Like I do the magic. He did the magic. Nobody else did. I know, but it's entertaining in men.

But like it's, you know, paganistic. But they were allowed to listen to fucking Umbop? Well, yeah. Because apparently Hanson were like Christian rock boys. Do they have any other songs? There were more Hanson songs, but Umbop is the umbop of the century. How did we get off Lizzo again, Joey?

I don't know. Go ahead. Lizzo actually is in the news, the headlines, because some people are upset with her. She took James Madison's 200-year-old crystal flute and played it on stage for the very first time. Like the president, James Madison? Do you know another James Madison, Joey?

Maybe I... Maybe there was another one that existed. Do you think... Do you think Lizzo just wants to take the random James Madison's fucking crystal flute? I don't know, man. No, yes, the American president, James Madison. How did she get...

It was crystal, by the way. It was crystal, and apparently the Library of Congress was like, yeah, go ahead, take it. Oh, that's on Congress then. And she played it on stage. But no, you know, people out there, first of all, she's gonna get additional backlash because she's a woman.

Second of all, she's gonna get additional backlash because she's a woman of color. Third of all... Backlash. Yeah, backlash. Third of all, this never been played. This was the first time it was played. Do you think James Madison would be pumped?

Bro, this is hell no, dude. Why not? Because she's a black woman. Oh, yeah, they didn't like her back. He's probably rolling in his grave right now. Yeah, he'd be like, how did she get on stage? Yeah. Yeah.

James Madison would not be happy. Yeah. He'd send his pigeon to Thomas Jefferson's house. He'd be like, what happened here? I'm looking at a picture of it, and it literally looks like something out of Harry Potter. It's a crystal flute. That's crazy.

Why'd he have a crystal flute? I don't know. I didn't know, was he a big flute player? James Madison? The only thing I know about him is that he had slaves. Did he though? Careful, because I think people will come at you for that one.

Look it up. Oh, the James Madison fandom? Dude, America, the beautiful, has a lot of people that are just like, gonna go to bat for them. I wanna see... She said, this is what she said on stage. Bitch, I just torqued and played James Madison's

crystal flute from the 1800s. We just made history tonight. That's kind of, honestly? I wanna see outrage though. I wanna see what people are saying. People are saying like, oh, how dare she? She never should have done that. The Library of Congress shouldn't have given her

who is she, and it's like, bro, she's one of the biggest stars in the world. If anyone's gonna clap their ass on stage and play James Madison's racist ass flute. Someone said, James Madison was a slave owner. Nailed that before, by the way. So according to the left, shouldn't Lizzo be canceled now for making history,

playing his crystal flute? What does that mean? Well, it's just the hyper right wing people just trying anything to make something feel relevant. I mean, yeah, I don't know if it's just me. I don't really have attachment to physical items or whatever, so definitely, I really don't give a shit about James Madison's flute.

Yeah. A flute? Dog? Here's my question. Why hasn't anyone... What's next? George Washington's ballet shoes? Jesus. Why hasn't anyone tried to do this sooner?

That's my question. Yeah, she just asked and you're like, yeah, bro, it's chill if you take it. Yeah, and now people could be like, oh, let's go play fucking, you know, like who's the gay piano player? Liberace, let's go play Liberace's fucking keys. Let's smack the keys a little bit.

People let him do it, who cares, right? Yeah, I wonder what else I can get out of the library of Congress or whatever the fuck. They have a, I'm sure they got a bunch of cool stuff in there that make a mess with it. I wanna wear George Washington's teeth. That might smell like shit. Or like, yeah, I assume.

Or like, wear one of Abraham Lincoln's big hats. Well, the one with the hole in it, probably. The one with his brains in it. Yeah, no, not that one. He did have big hats. And what was the reason for that? Cause he was also a pretty tall guy. He's a big guy, yeah.

He was like six something, right? Yeah, and he wore top hats. And wasn't he, we did this once on a Patreon episode. He was like a professional wrestler. He was like a wrestler. Did you know that he was also like, shady could be gay? I heard about that. He used to like, he was like, it's been documented

that he was like cuddling with like, something like his cousin or something. He used to think, I don't think that there was like, people back then all like, the men dressed with big wigs and like, you know, like over the top makeup. It was like, who cares? Like, they were just like throwing a syphilis around. You know what I mean?

I think that the people that are upset about Abe Lincoln being gay possibly are the ones that are probably gay themselves. But also, how can you care? Go back in time? He's back in time, gay. That doesn't even count as gay. Maybe they can go to his burial and do what?

Maybe they can like analyze DNA on his bones and let it like, that's come. Yeah, I don't think so, bro. You sure about that? I'm not. But like, I think, I'm saying like, why do people care? I know, I agree. Like, why do you care to find out or to even report it?

Or care that he may have been? Well, don't talk about him. Well, I'm gonna talk about back in time. I'm gonna give you a pushback a little bit. But why? The people that are care, it's like, he was not gay. He was our president. Those people are because they fucking grew up

thinking something their whole lives and don't want to be challenged. They don't have the brain capacity to understand that life could be something different from what they were understood of it. However, the other side, the people in the LGBTQIA plus community might be like, see, like representation.

Cause there are people that say like, Dad, you've been our first gay president? Yeah, yeah. I mean, people would say that- Yo, there's no way we've had all these presidents and none of them had to put it, haven't put a dick in their mouth. Dude, listen up.

100% of them. Dude, I would say, how many presidents do you think had a penis in their mouth? I'm gonna say at least the first 10. I would say- Without a doubt. Bro, James Madison, that's the gayest name I've ever heard. Come on.

There's no way we haven't had more gay presidents. Okay? There's no way. Also, out of all the fucking woodwinds, flu's pretty gay. Well, there you go. Exactly. That's the one that's the most phallic,

except for like the oboe. Or the recorder, the recorder. The recorder, the oboe, and what's the one that's- I don't even know what an oboe is. What's the one that Squidward plays? Clarinet. Yeah, that one too. That shit's annoying.

Yeah. I hate the Clarinet. All I'm saying is I think I understand why people in the LGBTQIA plus community want to see that because how many times do people say like, oh, it's okay to be gay now. So like everyone wants to be gay. And it's like, no, like there've been gay people

throughout the history of human existence. And like they're trying to use that as saying like, look, like Abe Lincoln might've been gay. Maybe that'll make you feel a little more accepting. So I understand that side of it, but the other side of it that's like, no, there's no way, no, no, no. Nah, dude, they were taking baths.

They were taking baths back. Bro, they had houses that were just for baths of dudes. Be like, yo, what? Dude, they'd be like, yo, let's just, I'll meet you at the bath house, get naked. I'll see you in there. Yeah, like when you go to war and stuff, you know? It's like, yeah.

Well, a lot of presidents didn't go to war. Like they went to war before they were presidents. Well, you know what I'm saying, like, yeah, that's true. But still. So like George Washington is like, bro, come on. I don't know, man. These guys are wearing a little dress under that coat.

They're like skipping and doing like the, like, they're like, they were touching each other and that's okay. Yeah, tickle the butt. Who cares, bro? It gets lonely on the battlefield. It does, dude, especially when you're like marching toward your enemies, like an idiot, dude, hide.

Yeah. Hide, you idiots. We never, we've talked about this before. What are you doing? Why are you announcing you're there in big red jackets? We're talking about like George Washington being like an amazing like general or whatever. It's like, bro, whoever was the first person to go, hey, let's just hide.

That's the, that's the one. Because everyone else is an idiot. Well, they back then it was about honor and it was like, let them see us coming. So they get terrified of iron. It's like, bro, literally just go around the brook and throw rocks at the back of their head. They're dead or just go like this.

Yeah. Yeah, no, they would stand in a line facing each other 10 feet away and they would both hold their guns and they'd be like fire. Yeah. And then they'd be like, we lost so many men. It was like, no shit you did.

No shit you lost so many men. You never give them a shot. Yeah, no chance. I don't understand why so many people are upset. Lizzo saw an opportunity. Where are the entrepreneurs in the world that are like, she saw an opportunity and she took it, that's execution and pure like energy?

If you put James Madison's flute in front of me and go, you wanna play it? I go, fucking, yeah, I do. And I don't even play the flute. I have no idea how to operate a flute. But I would play it. I'm not worried about like, oh, this may be disrespectful to the third president.

What president was he? I mean, I don't even know. James Madison. It was George. Top 10. George, John. Jeff. Tommy Jeffs.

I think he might have been four. Presidents in order. Yeah, let's go with this order. George, John, Jeff, James. Number four, good call there, Joey. And then it was James Monroe. John Quincy Adams. You know, Andrew Jackson's a weird looking fuck.

Yeah, he does. Get him off the $20 bill, don't worry. Oh my God, Martin Van Buren is hideous. Yeah, he's a piece of shit, piece of light ass shit, too. Bro, he's bald and has hair coming this way. Yeah, bro, they were all ugly. Who is John Tyler? We had a president named John Tyler.

Yeah, he was from Sigma Calphi Dapsilon. James Polk, of course. Zachary Taylor. That's a pretty rad name. Millard Fillmore. B. Wider. That name is a duck. Yeah.

Franklin Pierce. James Buchanan. Abraham Lincoln was just like a weird looking dude. Yeah, but he was rad, bro. People love him. Brotherford B. Hayes, your boy. You know what? I feel like you fucked with him.

Well, the name Rutherford is pretty sick. Reminds me of a jacket. Yeah, these presidents are just like. First good-looking president was probably, I would say, who's the guy that got his Kappa detated? Kennedy. JFK. Oh, yeah.

He's a good-looking guy. Yeah, he was a rocket ship. And then Obama. There had to have been one before him. Obama was a good-looking dude. Obama was a good-looking dude. Joe Biden used to be good-looking. Yeah.

But he's a decent-looking old guy. Yeah, he's like, what, like fucking a thousand? He's in his 80s, I think. Yeah, I mean. Hey, wild idea. Let's have a president not on their deathbed. Yeah, you should be able to, like, de-up. Like, you should be able to play some solid defense

if you want to be president. That's what Obama was doing. Obama was shooting some fucking white house. Don't you feel good about a president being able to, like, hit a three or something? Yeah, man. Also, golf doesn't count. Yeah, I don't want that old people golf shit.

I don't want that shit. There should be a physical component to, like, a combine for anyone running for president. You got to, like, no little carts. Maybe if you could play golf, but if you walk the 18, then you could be president. That's a lot of walking, though, Joey. I don't give a fuck.

That's a lot of, like, miles. Well, that's what I'm saying. Fucking, then, play ball. De-up. I would say there needs to be a physical component. They need to be able to at least dribble a basketball, let alone shoot one. Because I can guarantee you, if you give...

You got to be able to, like, play catch, like a baseball catch. Bro, you give Ronald Reagan a basketball, I'd be like, that's, what? Yeah, I don't think any of these guys could really play ball like that. Trump's pretty fucking big, though. He'd be a good lineman.

He'd be a problem in the paint. He'd be a good lineman. He'd be a good on the line, too. I remember when I played football on the line, he'd be like, I'm going to fucking get you. He would be such a cerebral assassin. He'd be like, I swear to God, your hands, smallest hands I've ever seen.

Your team, your uniforms, super gay. I remember your mom, you know. I remember your mom. He'd say some shit like that. You'd be like, what? I think Trump's a big dude. I think he's big in terms of, like, Trump height built.

Bro, he's 6'3". And he's like, I mean, he's a fat bastard now, but. Biden's six foot, that's got to be a lie. I'm six foot. Melania's 5'11". That is Dolby. Yo, two on two, Trump's fucking, they're dog in the mic.

Well, that's why Hillary lost. Melania was taller than the president. Bro, Barron Trump is 6'7". Barron Trump? Yeah. Dude, isn't he like six years old? Like 12? He's 16, he's 6'7".

Get the fuck out of here, dude. Bro, he's 6'7". Bro, all right. Well, we know who our next president's going to be. If he stops growing. Bro, he's huge for a 16 year old. We need a tall president. Yeah, how is this gonna-

We've had too many short people. We need- We need to be in the gym, bro. We need a tall president. We've had too many short fucks. We need- And I'm saying that- Barron Trump needs to fucking get in the gym.

What about Obama? Obama's got height on him, right? I think so. Obama's maybe 6'1". Well, I feel like I could deal with Obama. I think that like- No, Obama's got those lanky arms. Oh shit, he's 6'2".

Damn. Damn, dude, these presidents are taller. 40, he's like four inches taller than you. Yeah, who's the shortest- Who's the- Wait, what? Shortest president. Shortest president.

Bro, James Madison. How tall was he? That's why he had the flute. Bro, how tall was James Madison? Well, the flute is a pretty short person. He's got short guy energy. Bro, how tall was James Madison? 5'8".

5'4". You can't be president. No wonder he didn't live past whatever- Captain Hart is taller than him. Yeah, that's bad. Bro, no wonder he played the flute. Oh, yo. That's why he played the flute.

He's a short little boy. Honestly, is the pipe- Does the people know that? If you're gonna get mad at James Madison, like, are we really gonna do that? That's more- That actually makes his presidency way more impressive that he was president and being that short.

Because I would see, bro, if fucking Trump, or I didn't vote for Trump, if anyone came out and was like, oh, I'm gonna be president of the United States and I see that they're on a fucking milk crate, I'd be like, there's no way, dude. By principle, I need to vote for the other person. There's no way.

That's crazy, man. And that's for him, though. That's for men. Good for him. Bro, how do you, as a world leader, how are you that small? Bro, I mean, I think we have pretty sure, I don't wanna say his name.

Careful. Oh, that's, wait, what? Who, are you looking up VPs? No, I'm looking up, oh, oh, that's probably a lie. Oh no, what the fuck am I, this is a table tennis player. What are you, a table tennis player, are you looking up? Yeah, I was looking at Kim. Kim Kardashian?

No. Oh, gotcha, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was looking up how to talk to you. From one of the places. One of the, one of the- We won't tell you which one we don't like, but it's a Korea. Yeah, it's one of them.

And I think the South one, but he's, oh no, he's 5'7", never mind. But I thought there was a possibility that maybe he could be a South one. Bro, we, if there was a president today, there was a male president today, there was 5'4". That'd be a tough one. To be honest with you.

This nation's going to shit. Yeah, and listen, I'm 5'10". So, I mean, I'm not- Joey, you're 5'10", in shoes. You're like a solid 5'7". No part of me is 5'7", Frank. You're no part. You're 5'7".

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Yeah, short kings. Can't be a short king and a president, it doesn't work well for you. When do you think we get our first outwardly gay president? Hopefully soon. Bro, they're not gonna be happy. Why hopefully soon? No, you know what's funny is,

I feel like that will be the real, I think we're, do you think the gays are interested in presidency? I think that if you wanna be president, bro, if you wanna be president, you're at psychopath. Beto O'Rourke's not gay, right? He's not the gay one. I don't know.

There's one of them that's, like there's a pretty popular politician. Oh, is it that dude, Pete, or something? Buttigieg. Is it him? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's gay? I'm pretty sure.

I don't know. I'm pretty sure. I've definitely heard people call him gay. I mean, listen, you know, I would hope that we get some sort of representation within the next, you know, our lifetime. All right, let's just, let's see if someone's got what it takes.

I also think that, you know, just, like I said, being a president is kind of like second. Who would, who wants to do that? That's kind of crazy to me. People that seek power. Yeah, so shit bags. Yeah, oh, absolute dumpsters. You know what I mean?

Like, all of them, like, I love, I love when people bring up the topic of politics. Dude, sorry. Your turn. No, it's not, it's not. Nothing about anything that I say is of value to you, so you go. I keep interrupting.

I'm a pawn. Go ahead. Go ahead. No, I don't even want to say what I was gonna say. It might have changed your life. You never know now, bitch. Wasn't gonna change my life. Okay.

No, but did you see Meester? Mr. B said he wants to run for president. Yeah, guess what? Fucking don't. He's gonna win. If he does. He will. Hold on.

He will be president. If he wants to do it, he will do it. I believe that. No, Joey, because he will. He will not. 100%. How much you want to bet? Dude, I really think that if he wanted to.

But he's young. If someone saw, we were really riding a coastline when we had a reality TV star, decided he wanted to go into politics, be the best president. Hold on. Let me explain too why he said this. He was saying that it does sound interesting to do.

And he's like, and- This guy opens up one restaurant and now he wants to be the fucking president? Take it easy. But he said that if he were to do it, he would be like, I would just fund it and I would do it myself so that I could just, because this dude literally,

he said no to a billion dollars. People offer him a billion dollars for all his shit. And he told him no. So by another 10 years, and the way that he creates these businesses and companies around all his shit, this dude is going to be printing money. So he's like, I imagine I could run for president

and I don't have to listen to fucking anybody. There's no lobbyists or anyone in your ear being like, you got to do this and that and you just run. And then also he knows how to get attention. Yeah, Joey, listen, he's going to win. Listen, he's got to be president, bro. We need to stop with these people. Why can't he be president?

Obviously we don't know yet, whatever. But you can't just- You know what, actually, let him do it. Let him fucking go. I'm so sick and tired of all these people fucking pouring their life's personality into politicians and be like, no, this is the one. If you see a politician out there,

all of them are dirtbags in some capacity. All of them are evil. All of them don't give a fuck about you as an individual or the population at large. They want to do whatever is going to help them get there. So you know what? If Mr. Beast wants to go out there and he wants to do whatever he believes are,

you know what's going to happen? We're going to find out Mr. Beast is some fucking Bible belt psychopath who wants to just be like outlaw people of that right left-handed or some shit. I'm more optimistic. I think that if he really could figure that out, I mean, it's a big, it's a tall order for sure

to be president. But I feel like you get a lot of help in the ways that you don't really know. The military stuff, you got to make decisions like that. But also how many decisions could you possibly make? Mr. Beast, should we bomb fucking Iran this week? And he's just like, um, let me do a video. I got 10 million Orbeez and they're going to spill out

yes or no. And it's like, bro, just fucking come on. You know, like why, 10 million Orbeez. No, dude, I think that- I'm dropping 10 million Orbeez into this circle. And the circle just so happens to be over the People's Republic of Congo. And it's like, bro, like,

why are we trying to reinvent the wheel here, man? Give it to someone that knows what they're doing. Yeah, but then what you're asking for is traditional fucking politicians. They're all evil. Everyone sucks. I know that. Give it to someone. Just give it, you know what it is?

Dude, this kid though- Give it to the corn kid while we're at it. This kid. Yo. Cute kid. Yeah. Oh, bro. Forget it.

Yo, there was a new video of this kid. I'm gonna show you this. This is my new favorite. You know, like every so often, a video of like a child getting interviewed on the street will like go viral or something. Yeah. Because they'll say something funny.

This is by far my favorite one. Listen to this. I mean, let me tell you something. I don't know what they call that stuff, but that little like caramel, man. Just stop playing. I mean, if they give me one right now, tear it up live. If they give me one right now, I'll tear it up live.

If they give me one right now, I'll tear it up live. Point it at the camera. Dead serious. That's fire. That's pretty sick. Then the caption was, I don't know what they call it. Me when someone asked me how I feel

about big booty Latinas. I don't know, but that little like caramel, man. Stop playing. Yeah, stop playing. I mean, if they give me one right now, tear it up live. That is the point, man. The best part is he points at the camera. Tear it up live.

Tear it up live. Yeah, like he's like, call me out on it. You think I won't? Yeah, I swear to God. Get one in here. I'll fuck it up right now. Honestly, make him the president. Yeah, why not?

The beast's cabinet. The rock. The secretary defense. No, no, no. I think he'll be, I mean. I'm here dressed up as crypto, the super dog. And we're gonna take on Isis. You know, like, it's like, bro.

I feel like, I don't know. Yo, honestly, it's hard to imagine. Like, I think that if you really- See these calluses? I'm in the iron paradise signing about 800 fucking executive orders. Woke up at 4 a.m., signed an executive order. Back in the iron paradise, two hours of cardio.

But I think that if he wants to be president, he could do it. The rock? No. Bro, yeah, absolutely. If- I'm saying Mr. Beast. Mr. Beast, Kim Kardashian, running Nates.

People will be upset about that. Why? I don't want people like Kim K. Yeah, I know. I mean, well, Kim Kardashian also like- She doesn't need it. Yeah, well, she's like successful, but like, I don't know, bro.

There's something about Mr. Beast. Beast. Where I feel like- Are you- He's very- You want to be on his internet cabinet. That's what you want. No, bro.

You want to be like, here it is. No, but- The Comptroller, Joe Sanagato. And you end every interview with like, thank you so much, bow. Yeah. Yeah, address the fucking nation. No, but I think that he,

I think it's gonna be interesting to see what the president even looks like in 10 years. Because I feel like now it's like social media and like whatever, like the state of the union could be- Well, the way this country's going, it's gonna be one of them black mermaids or something. Which guess what, scientifically, that far under the ocean, you can't even get sun rays.

Howdy black, fucking losers. This country sucks. I'm done, I'm over it. Fuck this whole country. No, Mr. Beast, man, he's gonna be president. You keep your hand on this SUV for the longest and you get Air Force One. Yeah.

And it's like- He's gonna be giving, yeah. But I don't know. Like, all jokes aside, how could he not win? He's like the biggest internet person in the world. In 10 years, everyone will know who he is. I'll tell you how. His fan base is from nine to 14.

Now. Oh. But no, people know who he is. I know who he is, but they're probably gonna be like, bro, ha ha, but like, I can't vote for him. I don't know. This is what I'm saying. It's gonna be interesting to see in 10 years.

Let it happen. I will eat my words if he's president. And you know what, he might do a great job. You never know. I said it when Trump got elected. I was like, you know what, give him a shot. But like, you know, same with Joey Bides. Joe Biden went in and they were like, all right,

give him a shot. Give him the opportunity to prove us wrong. Give, I guess give Mr. Beast- Joe Biden has proved me wrong in that. I thought he'd be, I thought he'd be dead by now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Playing with house money in my opinion. Yeah, absolutely.

I thought, I thought when, when Trump would get an office, he'd quit it with like some of the things he said. I also thought Trump was going down too. Bro, I think every president is gonna go down and something about to me. I feel like we shouldn't be staring at presidents going like today. Yeah, we shouldn't, we shouldn't look at a president

and wonder what their AARP card looks like. Yeah, we're like, probably today. Yeah, we should see them and just be like, you should be able to fall in the shower and still be president and not be a pile of dead bones. Yeah, I'm telling you, a combine, a physical combine. Physical combine, I agree. Where they need to do something.

If you want to be a cop, you have to pass the physical test. Yes. If you want to be president, bro, you gotta run up, you gotta run two miles. Yeah, bro, come on, why, why, yeah, absolutely. Two miles at like a, you know, a 10 minute pace. I don't even care about two miles. Like just show me that they can like, you know, like,

just walk from one end of the room to the other without fucking almost falling. But like with a good pace. Exactly, and like a, like a healthy gait. Yeah. You know, 20 sit-ups, five push-ups. 20 sit-ups in two hours. Yeah, five push-ups in a day.

No pull-ups. No one has pulled up, no one could have pulled up. Who the hell? But yeah, probably, and you gotta be able to, you gotta squat at least one an hour. No, I meant like with the bar. You gotta be able to deadlift 135, very easy. Just the bar, how about that, 45?

Fine, but good, but good form. It needs to be good form. And no fucking gloves. Yeah, if you wear gloves and you're short, your life's over. Your life's over. Yeah. All right, well there you have it, folks.

That's Albers 8085 on Twitter. V. Frank Albers on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and then patreon.com, so that's your basement area. Go check out the show. Yep, and you guys can go follow me at Joe Standing Island. Go follow the show at the Baseme Art on TikTok and Instagram, and that is all. See you guys next time.