The Basement Yard - #370 - The 2022 Halloween Episode

Episode Date: October 31, 2022

Joe and Frank are ready for Halloween babes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello welcome back to the綜藤 DaddyPotGas Fix your teeth bitch you guys friend that you said that's not how is that not what the pope sounds like no bro well He's hunched over right again um I don't he's hunched over it aren't all pop aren't all popes like hunched like hunchback Is all cuz this is reading the bible all day every day No, I don't think they read it anymore. They got a memo right that's right That's right. They've that they got to where they are because they've already they've like mastered the Bible front and back

There's a holy valedictory. You got to take the teeth out. We've seen them. They're teeth are staying Frank They're cool. They're sharp. Yeah, it hurt my tongue just now. Did you did you bite? Did you bite down on your tongue? No Why didn't they have like a normal mouthpiece for those? They came with like wax pellets. Yeah, that you're supposed to melt on it You think I look good. I Honestly, kind of like you purple. Oh Jesus the purple works for you Yeah, the the gold chains work for you. I think I could pull this off. Hold on This all right. Hold on a sec not part of the costume. You just decided to wear your Rolex today How fucking oh

Bro, what if you have something you can wear it? Yeah, Joey you walked in wearing a Nickelodeon orange sweatshirt You're gonna tell me that your fucking $10,000 Rolex went with that first of all more Was it more than 10 more I took a shot. I it wasn't Nickelodeon orange Joey it was a Nike sweater. Okay, but it's Nickelodeon orange color. It's just orange babe It and it's Nickelodeon orange. It's orange. You always have been a big fan of Drake Bell and Dan Schneider So that kind of lines up right there Wait, oh, yeah, no Drake Bell. He's he's he's it. Yeah, and Dan Snyder No, I know that that guy was putting in he was like a foot dude

He was a foot dude and he was like a child foot He got like back at certain actors and actresses for like not wanting to do stuff by like having them go through an episode Where they like fall into a vat of poop What a weird fuck. Yeah, he's weird. Oh also disgusting gross little bitch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, although he was funny and good burger I will say that Was he yeah, you like good burger. I like good burger Those burgers look really good the Mondo burgers too big too big. Yeah, too big and Mondo burger puts you in the grinder But remember that part that his name was like fucking it was something Kurt Kurt

It was like Kurt or it is something it is something sharp. It was something aggressive Yeah, and Kurt said he would put you in the grinder, right? Yeah, that's that's an American classic if you ask me damn One time I had a girl tell me she was gonna put me in the grinder, and I was like chill damn like No, no, she meant like like dancing like she's gonna grind on my shit She was gonna turn your dick and fucking balls into minced meat. Yeah into a why I say minced meat like I'm in London It's chopped meat Ground fucking chicken. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever have you ever I know we've Adnazium welcome back basically and spoke about our

Grinding stories, but like have you ever had someone just turn your fucking front front pouch into a puddle? Yeah Yeah, I've had there was a girl named Christina. I had a girl named Christina. That was good at dancing, too Yeah, well, she wasn't I don't know that it was good at dancing She definitely turned my shit into a mashed peanut butter and jelly really really which that's a bet yo I by the way yesterday I Legitimately made a peanut butter and jelly and brought it here for lunch And I mashed it on purpose so that when I got it later it would be mashed Oh, hold on that's the best way to eat a peanut butter and jelly eat it that shit mashed up

You went shit. Oh well hold on you can't do that now you can't do that in that outfit Yeah, you can't because you're already exploiting you know what you you know what you're doing I don't know you know exactly what you're doing No, I just wanted to confirm you went straight from having your fucking penis look like split pea soup to talking about a very you know Childlike sandwich Peanut butter and jelly. No, I don't have a 30-year-old man. I ate okay too old for peen being Jane Yes, Joey. No, it's not. Yes, it absolutely is Frankie

You should not be over the age of hmm ten and having a peanut butter and jelly sandwich You haven't had a peanut butter and jelly. No, no, I have But I also forgive your so father for you have seen Listen, don't you dare kiss that I kissed it. It's actually it's hot It's a little hot on my chest hot because it's a little hot. It's all I'm gonna say is I've had it But that doesn't mean I'm the litmus test for being a great person All right, look at the way that I'm dressed right now of anything I'm the screaming poster boy for being blasphemous. Yeah

I think that if you're over the age of ten and you have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich more than once a year Things have gotten a little awry for you That's a kid. Yeah, that's a kid sandwich, dude. No that no. Yes. Yes, we're jealous for the world, babe No, it's for the world. Yeah between the ages of fucking three and nine I'm not gonna stand here and listen to this fucking peanut butter. It's true You don't why are you eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches after you are after your balls have dropped because they're good I'll do this if you have a single fucking pube No more PB and J's

Now you're being ridiculous. You shouldn't really the first time I can remember eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich I had a couple of pubes you had pubes early. You know you did too. I did not have pubes About me having a hairy fucking you had a very Joey you at one point had like like curls in your pubes I remember not like I have naturally curly curls not short curls Like it came out and like waved around because I have that's just when I was a baby. Oh, you had actually curly hair Your pubes shouldn't have been long enough to fucking look like your baby head Frankie. What was I supposed to do? I know and taught me how to cut the pube. Yeah, you didn't you didn't learn how to use a fucking scissor when you were a child You cut your pubes with a scissor when I first started out. You were arts and craft

God rest her soul actually she's actually dead. She's actually hanging out. She's fucking yeah She's been gone. She met the queen at least she's doing paper machete and you know upstairs. Yeah, you know Who else who she does art in heaven? She exactly She does arch and have a call back bingo bingo go check out the fucking tiktok is blown up. What's going on? Fuck you. I I didn't have the proper tools I hadn't found my mom's micro touch at that point Yo, you didn't cut your pubes is your mom's micro touch. Yeah, I've spoken about it before really? Yeah, of course I have sorry ma does Nancy know that you were What's a micro touch she does now

You don't remember those like TB infomercials it looked like but what did she use it for I don't know I wasn't staring at her in the fucking bathroom Oh, you never thought about the fact that maybe she was also your mom my mom and I might have cross-pollinated our pubes It's all right. That's how you guys, you know a release it. All right. Yeah, I Don't know that that's all right. I don't know that I'd be okay with that I Mean maybe I wouldn't have done it You know little I thought about you know how like just I'm being dead serious right now, right?

About your mom's pubes First of all, we're talking about your mom's okay, and I didn't even until this conversation even consider That my mom had pubes. Yeah, or that any mom had pubes. Oh, bro women of that generation were pubing it up Yeah, I mean yeah, it was like a certain point. They're not pews It was like you remember how like, you know a certain part of the 2000s It was cool to have a tiny person a little dog in it. Oh You're talking about actual purses. Yeah, like accessories. Oh, yeah bushes were accessories in the 70s and 80s true You weren't you weren't like if you went somewhere without a bush. They'd think you were weird

Yeah, you're not allowed in certain bars without them and now we've gone. I guess bushes were gone for a while. Yeah, and Are they back? I don't know um That's a great question, you know you have an ear to the ground obviously I don't have an ear It's in your occupation. Oh, yes. No, I make sure that all my bitches are shaved. Jesus Okay, you went you went real aggressive with that one The other guys No gators gators John's don't use a Jimmy You know some shit like that Jimmy gators hoes don't use a Jimmy. Yeah, probably

So yeah, well, you know today is Halloween. Yeah, not of recording. Yeah, yeah guys break down. Go ahead Fucked up that expression. No back the camera I thought you were referencing when I had said, you know the eight days of Halloween for Hanukkah Well that that was that was a little of that bit of a blunder. Yeah, those little people make mistakes People misspeak, you know what I mean? I did misspeak in that moment, but I've misspoken. You've misgendered Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no, no, father You're sitting right now. You're sitting right now, but you're you're fucking you're taking you're lying bitch That gets you straight to hell. It's okay. No, I you get straight to hell dude. I'm fucking I'm casting you down

That's not how that works pretty sure. No only the Lord Well, who do you think the Pope is bro? That's his number two in command. That's his that's his sous chef Yeah, the Pope is like, you know kind of like as God is over there working on this the sauce. Yeah, you know in the main entree. He's prepping the sous chef is cutting up the onions Maybe wait, then what about Jesus? That might be a sous chef. I think Jesus is like the owner that comes in to check on the food Yeah, he's a manager. He is. He's the he's the floor manager. Okay, and he's like his hands dirty though Right, that's sad. It tastes good. You could set it out there, right?

And then people will get upset and tell Jesus about it and he's like, all right. I'll talk to God. Who's the hostess? I think like the regular churches, you know, like the churches on the street just like okie-dope kind of priests Yes, yes, yes, like, you know, you're driving through fucking part of Brooklyn and it's like, you know A church you've never heard of that's run by like a Korean man, right? Yeah, you know Those are the hosts is they're like, come in we'll we'll seat you with God And then if something big happens they tell Jesus and they're like let the Pope know Yeah, and the Pope is like, all right I think I can handle this but then when it's too big for the Pope they go up top to the executive chef

And you know a lot about this, you know, I Am he yeah him. Well, I am him the big him I am the big him an almighty gospel according to Luke. I don't tend to subscribe to Any Christianity religious ideology, right? But if anyone ever pointed across at me and screamed I would take it very serious in that moment I'll be honest with you if an older woman Let's call her wife She what do you why do you say let's call her white, right? Let's just yeah. Oh, that's

Okay, I put myself there pretend she's white Yeah, if she had like a rosary around her hand and like pointed at me and screamed I Probably burst into laughter. Oh, you're I you're scared of that. I mean Keith's scared of that shit, too I just I don't Keith has a fear of like holy Dean holy like Horror films, but yeah, so does Becca But I think it's because she grew up not watching them because she grew up in a religious household. Yeah, I don't really care Me neither. I think I mean, I think it's funny Yeah, I mean I would prefer there to be like and if anything an evil priest is sick and hold on wait a sec

I just stumbled upon something here. Okay, if anything The religious people should use those as teaching devices the movies the scary nuns, you know, the the demons, you know named Beelzebub why Because that's they believe in it. So they're like, yeah, this is real. They're not seeing it as a harm We'll be there seeing it as nonfiction Wait, I just thought about something you ever see like a horror movie where like a priest is Like a demon, bro. How's that pause? Like is that like a double agent? Well, that's that shows you the strength I think that might be is that guy he's like he's working. He's guys undercover for the dead

He's undercover for the devil. That's because the parent they believe the devil is strong I'm sure he is strong, but he's stronger than big G Well, that's what you think is like if you got big G in somebody No, bro, you can't you can't you can't have big G and then also the devil's gonna take over big G in a way God will fuck up the day. Hey, listen, I don't beat the shit out of I think God would beat up the devil But like it needs to be within you. It needs to be strong So like if you have more belief in The the the devil then you do God then, you know, then you're gonna be taken over by the praise on the week

Bingo, you know what I mean? He's exactly God Doesn't pray on the week. No, he's on the wrong. Well, he doesn't pray on anyone. Jesus. Well, I mean father Yeah He like believes in the strong if you're weak and not with God. He's like, oh fuck you. I don't need you Yeah, you're not one of my rider dies. Yeah, he's like, yeah, you're dead pussy. You're dead Fucking square up bitch. Yeah, you know, and then you say sorry. He's like all right come inside Yeah, that's all all God cares about is that the big S. Yeah, and that's the one sorry. Yeah, lo siento so If God is watching me right now

He's always watching him and Santa Claus. Oh, that's quite the duo I'm just saying those are the two people that we advertise are always watching Santa Claus Well and big brother and big brother three people always watching the cameras are always on all men by the way Yeah, well, I guess whatever your belief is they are believed to be men What God? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah and Santa Claus, right and big brother. I mean, it's in the name, right? Wait, who are you talking about? I thought you're talking about the TV show You think I'm talking about the TV show big brother Joey's is on 24 7 first of all I've never seen an episode of that show second of all you've never heard the saying big brother is watching

Who's big brother? Joe if you never even like if you never like big camera 1984 like yeah, yeah, yeah like a big security system No, Joey Joey was it a Skynet the idea is that sure big brother could be Skynet Oh like big technology or or just like the like someone's watching over like the government got it They're always watching big brothers always watching wait wait wait take one single a God time out. Oh, no, I'm scared Where did you think the name of the show big brother came from? Now that is the right because I have no I was like someone in the show had a big brother No, obviously, I didn't think that but I just you know these shows are weird shit. What?

What's flavor love called? That's fair. What's what's rock of love called? Those are your two fucking posts there bright Michaels and flavor plate Well, you know, it's 2005 VH1 was a great place for Frank Alvarez. Let me tell you. Yeah, you've thrived. I have so you could see where the you know The names are derived from mm-hmm You had no clue where the show big brother was from no, I just figured, you know They came up with a brother. I've never seen an episode, but I know they have cameras everywhere, right?

They do and I'm like I'm pretty sure you can go online and watch the cameras 24-7, but they also make episodes Also, I want to say this on record Just in case any anyone's watching from the show were show in the world We're showing a little jittery little or show. I've never seen it Actually, it's not as bad as big bang theory. No all the new Netflix like oh 20 year olds going in love is love is blind love is quiet Yeah, love is blind or like yeah, love is love is fucking love is gay. Love is blind. Yeah It's like okay or dating in paradise. We actually we actually what is all of this? There was that show

I think it was called blind love which not about blind people to my surprise. Oh damn It was about oh, I could be getting the name of it wrong It was just blind dates and like they have three blind dates and they have to pick one of those three to Go back on a second date with we know someone that was a contestant on that show me You've met him. I was in high. I went to school with him. I was in high school I Mean, I guess I'll drop his name here Carlos Juan Carlos really? Yeah, so there's episode of that show. Yeah, where he clearly is playing up that he's a bit of a dingus and

The girl is like so tell me about yourself. He's like I have a huge massive cock He said this yeah, bro. He's like talking about his wiener and in like a cafe and fucking Tribeca Fire which is the last place people talk about their own wieners. Yeah That's usually an other wiener kind of another wiener kind of guy. Yeah Wow, I didn't know that yeah, yeah, so Did it work out for him? I mean no, obviously not She actually I believe ended up leaving like abruptly and prematurely well cock kind of scared that would that would Push somebody to not want to know you feel like I would kind of run away from that cock

Well, you would run away from the cock. Yeah for a couple different reasons Well imagine you're out on a date for it with a girl for the first time You're like, hey, what's your name and different different different? No, but man. I imagine she was just like, yeah, no, I got a sick Gash different different standard How is it a different standard because guys would hear that and be like fuck. Yeah, bro I don't think I don't yeah talk about your fucking pussy. I wouldn't I wouldn't you like wait too early for you wouldn't I would probably be like coffee. You can't talk about your pussy with coffee or well No, it was nighttime. So it was dinner. Oh dinner is pussy talk wine is pussy talk wine is pussy talk. I

Agree with you. I think I would be a little turned off I'd be like whoa like it would come off as a bit more of like a pick-me situation Yeah, yeah, you know how like it would be like so kill I love football and like wings. Yeah, thanks. Okay, exactly But there are a ton. I would say the the vast majority of men if a girl were to sit down and be like, sorry I fucking played with my pussy. They'd be like Yeah Yeah, honestly, I don't know how it reacts that I'd be like you won. I would be very confused. I'd be like Oh, I'd be like good for I'd be shocked. I'd say good for you. That's what I would say

Yeah, you would I Almost threw up really Frankie. I would have done anything. Hold on. Let me help you Oh, thanks. Now I feel better the power of Christ compelled me to not throw up to not throw up Think about it. If God wasn't here with us, you might have thrown up Yeah, something that may be similar to some people with God and spirits and whatnot But there's a story that I have here about spirits A Texas couple. This is the this is the headline folks. This is what we're gonna get into today A Texas couple insists their home is being haunted by

Yep, yep enough. That's all I need to know. I'm leaving. No by sexual ghosts who dirty talk Oh wait, hold on a sec. Yeah, I'd like to move in What are they saying? Her name is Linda. Wow White and hauntable name. That is a hauntable woman's name. You mean a woman in Texas is named Linda Yeah, wow haunted by a sex ghost. Oh, wow. I'm gonna take a sex shot. Hold on. Wait real quick I'm gonna talk to God quick. Give me the bestow me the power She's white Yeah, but

I think Things yeah, yeah, she's all things can be done with God on your side. Oh my god. She's super white. How white just like Whoa, like wearing hugs and juicy couture. No, no, no like mashed potato white. What is that? No, I like mashed potatoes. So do you I know I know I mean I like mashed potatoes. I'm saying she looks like mashed potatoes. Oh Just like Colgate. Hold on So they had initially her had a hard time believing was that that it was haunted because people had said like yeah You're moving into a haunted house or whatever and then she said She she said she was taking a shower at the home when she claims she saw and heard a dark figure

On the other side of the curtain say to her Looking good. No That's what it says. Wait looking good. She got cat bro cat called in the shower white women Go through it enough on a day-to-day. They can't take hours and women now are being fucking cat called in their own shower by By corporeal forms. Are you kidding me? We can't be straight. They can't they can't escape it Bro, also, she said it was a sexual ghost like what is looking good, bro? That's sexual. That's not very sexual I want to say hello, so pussy. How old is it? Yeah, that's what you would say

Yeah, bro, if I was a ghost ghosts are like turning lights off. I saw this saying I got a studio video Wait, that was scary. They're like bashing lights and shit like that like if I'm thinking of a sexual ghost You're in a shower. Oh wait, I got another one. Okay. Go ahead. You're trying to talk No, cuz I'm getting sexual it said are you yeah? So the the one thing that she claims you heard in a go say is oh, baby. Oh, baby. Yeah, okay. That's That's a little hot and heavy imagine slamming it from the other side Do you think damn you think like what would happen if you asked the ghost to like, you know, a Little I'll give you something to haunt a little

What's that? I was digging deep for that one. You were the couple Paranormal enthusiasts visit the home armed with electronic voice phenomenon equipment I'm gonna go on record and say these things were expensive and a big waste of money Honestly, I mean you're only using that if you want them to say more dirty stuff to you Like if they're starting off with like looking good, bro, that's not dirty fucking people can't call women in the office like that You know what I mean? Well, yeah, I'm not saying it's right. Well, it happens. They do it They do it, you know, you have fucking you have Bob from accounting walking by and you're just like sitting there Mining your business, you know, writing up some expenses and he's like, hey, Trisha looking good. Yeah. Love your shirt

Yeah, it's like chill. Wow your personality burst through those scenes But yes, oh baby. Oh, baby. Yeah, and then another one said, yeah, I like it like that. Oh Bro, isn't that like a Cardi B song I like it like that you think you see some Disgusting sexual shit. I like spit spit in my ass. Yeah. All right. Now. Here's my question for you, Joey Yeah, you are Notably not a fan of ghosts. No or spooky things in general hate Spooky tough time of the year for you big time. You spoke a big game about wanting to watch scary movies. You've watched guess About how many I'm gonna take a wild guess wait. God. Tell me zero

That is true. Yeah, okay Do you move out of this house? If I'm being complimented by the Hit on like if I'm if I'm like like look, bro I don't really fuck with ghosts, but if I was in the shower and also and I saw a dark figure and they went Suck up. I'd be like But if he's gonna like scare me bro, I hear you like walk up to me I would rather a ghost walk up to me than like just appear in shit

You know, well, but see there's no way if you know your home and you hear someone walking up to you That's gonna scare you as well and I'm gonna go. Yo, who is that? It's like I'm a ghost And yeah, I just want to see that cock just like I would I would really appreciate it If the ghost like in like the fogged-up mirror left a message like hi It's me, you know some north Texas. The name has got to be like Buford or something from I I I am a ghost. I live here, but I am all about complimenting your asshole Yeah, you're like but your cheeks are fat your cheeks are fire. Yeah, and then honestly I'm staying you gotta stay I would be flirting with that motherfucker, too

Yeah, every time I took a shower, I would write him a message Yeah, like I would I would press my dick and balls against the fucking against it You know like the glass like you'll take a look like yeah, what do you think about that? I feel like uh, it's okay. I'll be like, whoa, get out. Get out of here You don't like me anymore. I Hold like the the idea of exorcism over the fucking house's head. Oh, yeah It's be like, you know like are you fucking like that? She's like all right. You're like God get in here I'd be like, I'll buy holy water. I'll get a priest in here and he will compel you

I would I would it would be kind of sweet and horny. I'd be It'd be a horny house. Yeah, because are you do you ever wait randomly wake up horny? Like in the night You think no, okay. What were you gonna ask you kind of setting pig? No, I was gonna say you think I wake up at 3 a.m. Like oh, no I'm not saying like you're fucking waking up like ready to fuck but like I wake up just like The thought of like damn boobies I don't really have a lot of sexual dreams. I'm not

You're not hearing what I'm asking but I usually am thinking about like I I would say 90% of the time I can't really remember my dream when I wake up. Okay, and then The small amount of times which is 10. That's math. Yeah, the 10% of the time where I do remember my dreams They're not sexy. It's like I would say most of them aren't so I Have no reason to wake up and be like whatever usually I wake up I'm like the fuck like I had a dream recently where I was I was invited to a Party at Tom Brady's house. Okay. No, definitely a dream. Yeah, and then I got into an argument with Kanye Okay, that honestly might not be a dream and then he said I had good points. Okay back to it being a dream kind of yeah

And then did he mention Jews in any point in that dream? No, no Jude talk, okay? That I can remember and then when I was leaving there was a dog with a Giants Jersey And it was in my drive. I was in the passenger seat Giants Jersey at Tom Brady's house. Yeah, I ain't gonna fly I'm driving. I'm like and I Keats in the back seat and I go yo who's fucking dog? He's like, I don't know so I go back to the party and I find the guy whose dog it is Yeah, I was like, you know your dog, bro, and he goes. Yeah, I don't I can't really I'm at a party at Tom Brady's house Can you just take it? I was like, okay That was the whole dream

So you tell me I'm gonna wake up from a dream like that and I'm gonna be horny the first thing I think of I go What the fuck was that whose dog is this? Yeah, like whose dog was that? Yeah, okay. Well, I had another dream one time take your take your time telling your stories that I Your brother-in-law Danny. Yeah And sister, I guess your sister-in-law is Christine your sister-in-law. Yeah, right? No That's a good question like double sister. I don't know but whatever I had a dream a lucid dream of her one time in my old apartment and I was like very conscious that I was in a dream and I was able to like

Move around and she came walking out of the bathroom Towards me so I grabbed a chair and hit her over the head with it Okay, but it kept bouncing off of her head like she was a balloon. Okay, and I just kept doing yeah, and that was it I Accidentally swung full speed and hit her in the face with a wiffle ball that once in the real world. Yes, I Felt bad. I okay. She she was okay. Yeah, but I you know playing wiffle ball. I'm swinging for the fences Oh, she just she was she was walking where she was supposed to be. I was also on deck You weren't up to that I wasn't up to back So I felt really bad practice hacks. I took a wiffle ball. Yes with a ball practice hacks

Okay, my point that I was trying to get to before you interrupt me to tell two awful dream stories was Would you be more horned up in the middle of the night if you had ghosts whispering to you like fuck yeah Hell yeah. Yeah, well like not dude ghosts. I mean it could how do you know they're ghosts? Ghosts have gender Whoa Is that okay to say? I don't think so. Oh, they have Well, come on. You know how people say sex and gender are different like I don't they are yeah

Gender is a societal concept. So sex is what the the physiological, you know organs that you're born with But that's what I guess what I meant like there are women go what if it's just like, you know like you can't tell it's like an androgynous voice But you can't tell you can't you don't know it's not like it doesn't sound like fucking yo Yeah, like I'm gonna go and I'll suck your cock. Yeah But like if he was like hi, yeah, that I'd be like, okay, yeah Well, no that now you're going on. No, I'm moving out your nightgown. It's so fucking horny my nightgown I'm wearing a night. No, you want to know something funny. I just randomly came to me I'd like a nightgown by the way. I'm sure you would bitch. I

You wouldn't like a nightgown. I'm not really I'm not a nightgown guy. Why they're making nightgowns for men I recently saw it on somewhere. Oh my god, the postification of men when are men gonna be? Yeah, when a first Harry Styles is in a dress now men are wearing nightgown other where nightgowns when When you just pull a grenade and hold it be a man When I went away to college, I had a family friend give me advice and I was like So I'm not gonna say who the person was but they were someone from the lake house okay, and They were like, you know, they did like the whole like cool uncle type thing, you know, I mean like come here

I gotta talk to you and I'm like, all right. What's up? And they're like word of advice When you see a woman in her nightgown, and I was like stop I'll stop done It's like it's 2010 at the time college. Yeah Nobody wears nightgowns when you see a woman in her nightgown I was like time out with unless the rest of this advice is run the other way because it is a ghost Yeah, what was the advice I stopped them I was like I was like no one stop where you are

No one wears nightgowns and then he said something along the lines of like, you know Like get try to get and they want you to get in bed with them and I was like this is first of all wildly outdated Not only because of the nightgown, but because of the fucking advice you're giving me Yeah, also, what kind of advice that like if you see a woman in her bra and panties. She probably wants to have sex Yeah, probably well, no peeking into a fucking that's that fucking stupid ass mentality where it's like, you know women are Fucking assaulted when in whatever capacity and men are like, well, what was she wearing your skirt? She had it coming and it's like it's the same theory It's like you see a woman in her nightgown or this poor woman is trying to fucking sleep on a heated mattress that is heated up by hot coals

You know, like they don't need to be exclusive. You see a woman in her nightgown But I kind of want to move into this haunted house. I mean they should Airbnb it up now. Yeah There's yo, yo, they would probably make a killing bro. You kidding me? That'd be the horniest episode of Ghost Hunters ever Yeah, you know, like we were finding something and you're like I am gonna put this dildo on the table and then you come by and it's just It's like, oh my god, look at the dildo it's wet That's ghosts a creche Hey, man, there's gotta be you

I love those shows they're so fake and so funny I haven't seen one episode I Had a DVD on them years ago. You had a ghost DVD. Yeah, it was purchased for me and Like I didn't buy it myself. Oh Why does that matter because I would never buy myself one of those fucking DVDs Well, if it was bought for you clearly you had a fucking hankering first. No, no, that's the thing is I never know There was no indication that I enjoyed ghost hunting who bought it my mom The same what the same the same woman that bought me a fucking Puerto Rico shirt and said it was Captain America But yeah, she bought me like DVDs of like Ghost Hunters like the most extreme moments. Did you watch them?

I kind of watch a little bit Bro, I remember one time I watched a ghost show that was on like FX or something when I was younger and it was like It was so fake looking back But like they went to this room and I like put a piece of paper in a pen down They're like, oh, we're gonna leave the room right your name And they came back and it's like and then we came back and the name was Danny seven Right, mm-hmm Danny seven. What's the name? I hear and first time I heard it But I remember bro from that day forward I was so afraid

Danny seven no of leaving paper and pen around. Oh because I thought that someone would write something well Joe Make sure you don't leave just paper and pen around. How about that? I know I'm afraid of paper and really really terrifying Circumstances there. It's like four days that I was afraid of it. Yeah, we're gonna do I remember I watched one and they were like This is the wildest moment ever caught on tape and it's like people in the room. They're like And they like fucking like someone scratch my neck someone scratch my neck Yeah, and then nothing, you know, no one scratch Keith had a ghost encounter. I told you that right? Vaguely, he was like walking tour. He was like trying to let one of my one of the who's trying to let chase out and He was like walking towards the door and he's like yo someone like it sounded like someone was right here in my ear and went hey, I

Would have swung my arms around yeah helicopter. Yeah, nah fuck that also ran out of the house also though Keith is a jumpy boy Keith is a little jumpy. I can hear in a hay here in a hay but hey could be anything hay could be You know like it can be What is that? I don't know what point I was trying to make you weren't making a point Hey could be like, you know like a truck passing by in the distance It could be like the door in the house and the door creaking. Well, you said he was letting chase out So he didn't get to the door yet. He was on his way to the door Maybe it was I don't know the floorboards creaking. I remember you have some while you have hardwood floors in your house

They're saying you heard a hay could you know it could also be Goes to that dead-ass dog chase My dog is dead. Yes. It's not as dead as your cat that you had a way dead before chase. Yes Yes, also, you have a dead dog Two for two. Yeah, you do dead dead pets. Don't forget about them. I got dead loved ones, too If you want to get at that. Yeah, we'll get into that right after we get to this if you want to keep your home safe From ghosts but also living beings and Disasters you're gonna want to use simply safe simply safe is a 24 7 professional monitoring

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Whatever they're called. They have like Vibrators they've got penis pumps. Okay, so you could pump up your stuff. Why did you look at me when you said penis pumps? I'm just looking around the room at the audience. There's one person in this room. I'm looking around at the audience More than that Adam and Eve Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy they offer discreet shipping Okay, because you can't order like a big You know Giant dildo and it shows up in your house and it says, you know big nasty on the side of it You know what I mean? It's got to just be a regular box discreet packaging

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Big deal. Oh, yeah, Jesus We're just we're just we're riding this wave today. It's really nice, but Apparently Ed Sheeran He gifts people Dildos things big things you could say it big deal big nasty call it how you see it big things big big big things Fat old boys that the article says Ed Sheeran might be best known for his music But the thing he's probably second best known for is buying his pals giant penises for a laugh Boy, I'm glad that we have gotten back to penises like being funny again

Because there was a time in there where like it was tough for penises Really really hard for penises to get a good laugh. I'm sure what you're speaking about it was it was hard for penises, you know Remember like there was a time where like it's cool to like joke around about penises now for a time It was like you'd get people killed What are you talking about, you know, I'm talking about babe, I have no idea We were back in the day We were hanging out as boys, you know and like you just like funny like grab like oh you like go like you know Like give your friend a sacked half or like a little like

Now it's like everyone's doing it. It's hysterical Hot in this hat, I don't know if you're making sense to be honest. I gotta be honest with you I also this motion that you made I've never done that to any of my friends That's never happened. Yes, you have no I I Gotta be honest with you like no joke. Yeah, I started that with such a coherent point in my head And it lost and it fell out of my mouth With absolute Fucking ferocity and there was no sense of like cohesion and anything I said, it's okay now

You're just making up for big words. I feel I am absolutely not cohesion, bro That's not co tell me cohesion is not a real word. It is a real word. I know that dumb bitch You think I sit here and just come up with different words to say and it's like have like these ideas of all these like big words I want to work right now conversation. Don't that's not true Joey. Don't do it. It's not true I'm going to start talking now. So go ahead about Ed Sheeran's little fucking penis obsession. No he Apparently he gifted Elton John gay man Pretty gay. Can you? Name an Elton John song. No

candle in the wind That's one. I don't know why I said that one. Yeah, I don't know why I listen to yellow brick road the other day It's a good song. It's a very good song. Uh, but he gifted Elton John a colossal marble penis ooh Which is that marbles not a cheap rock man. That's an expensive rock Committed to the bit. Well, you have to appreciate him for it. By the way marble. What type of rock? What type of rock? Yeah, you know Oh, it's a it's a metamorphic rock. There you go. Good job, babe. Yeah, good job

33 chance. You got it right. Who's James bar? Um, James Bond's like slow uncle Do you not do who's James? Sorry. See that? Yes Look at that slate clean. I just cut my head off. You saw what I did? Slate clean slate Said slate clean slave, you know wiped expunged of all sin Uh, Ed Sheeran got someone James bar. I don't know. I don't know who James bars. Uh, a it's like a sparkling dildo It's huge. Where do you find that's gotta be quite the laborious task to find that I gotta say I don't know where You fit in labor where he would be able to find it. Holy shit. Look at the size of this cod But what is that is that like that's not a sex toy because you can't sit on no that

I mean, bro. Look at the size of it. It's a leg. You can you you can you can do some things with that. I'm sure I don't think so. You don't think so. No, no, no, that's just like for show bro. There are people that use way bigger No, they don't remember when we went to the museum of sex Yeah, and like they had fucking dildos in there that that were the size of you know Big They were very big I couldn't think it's getting hot in the sun. I know I think the power of god is upset with me right now It's the power of christ

Wait, no, where do you think christ gets his powers? Yeah, that's interesting Jesus christ like don't take don't take. Oh, no, you it's don't take god's name in vain the lord's name in vain That's what it is. Yeah, who is the lord? Is it lord jesus christ? I think it's whoever you feel the lord might be It's so confusing. I don't I don't know. I don't know. It's a lot of work that I don't tend to do back to Ed Sheeran's penis obsession Yeah, I think it's a good. I think it's a good prank. Do you like it? I don't know there's kind of a hint of like being a little tone deaf to it like Cox you know like The the type of people that have you know friends that are people of color so they only talk to them about like

Stereotypically offensive things same with like people that have like a gay friend and only talk to them about like so like Fucking hot guys and balls, right? you know like I saw you said you said elton johnny said sam smith I didn't say Sam smith. I thought you said Sam smith. I didn't Maybe I saw sam smith elsewhere though, but I think he got a dick from uh Ed Sheeran Okay, and there's james bar guy. I don't know who that is. All right Kind of weird that you're giving a bunch of gay men just like bedazzled boners

Like do you not know anything else about their personality? Well, he did give a woman also a dildo as well. So only people that like wieners get dildos Yeah, I think that's just like how that goes. Yeah, but like there's more to their personality like bro elton john typically straight men don't have dildos That they use on themselves I don't have a dildo. I don't know. I don't want you to take my hesitation there is like no I know you don't have a dildo frank. Do you think it's weird For a single man to have a vibrator not for himself, but for partners

Because that's a community vibrates that is that's that is a little tough and I'll tell you why Yeah, a single vibrator It seems suspicious But if if it's someone if you have like a fucking sex cave dungeon like mr. Christian gray, right that's different So there's a threshold there single vibrator Sound the alarm something's going on. But wait a lot. But why? Because it's weird Like you if you have a bunch you're clearly into it. So clearly like you're taking good care of everything

Well, well, this is the thing. Well, no, I mean Why who do you respect more people that drive a Ferrari or have 10 of them? This is a horrible That way to compare. No, I don't think so. I think the more the bigger concern is Sanitation well, yeah, but it's also the way the person is taking care of it Yeah, like if they're like, yeah, I clean it like you think that's fine No to have a vibrator that you use on multiple women Well, I assume you there would need to be some really good sterilization and that accompanies it Whatever. No, no, no, I fucking hope so. Well, I'm just saying like you could like, you know, get like a chlorox

Fucking wipe on it or something. I don't know. I I think that they make like cleaners that will won't affect The structure and security of the dildo. Yeah, of course Frankie if they clean it Do you think that's okay? Or do you feel like not bro one vibrator per woman? No, it's a little weird for me. One is suspicious. Like I said, if you had a friend me So it would be better if I had six. Yes Because then then there's something about I and it's not me. Yeah. Yeah It's not me. Yeah, uh, yeah

I it would be better because clearly it's something that like you have like some sort of passion for joey passion and You're doing it. So like you got to think like are like this is something he's into you got to think he's like in the game, you know What game the game of vibrating? The game of vibrating the game of vibration So if you went home with a guy Well, why me? I'm saying I'm putting you in the hypothetical situation. Oh, I'm gay here. Yeah, you're gay. Okay, be gay Got it

So you go home with a guy and he's like You guys are like gonna do it, right? Yeah, and then he opens up his drawer and he's got seven vibrators Okay, and he goes you want to use one? I would say I really appreciate the variety here quite frankly. I don't want any vibrators. Why not? I don't want anything shoved inside me You're about to have a wiener in there. No, I could be a top. You don't have to shove a vibrator in there

So are you gonna play with the outside of my asshole? Oh Gotcha that changes everything and shove it all in me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah shove every single thing you got Well, is that how you feel? Uh, you want to be weirded out. I'll be like, what you just use these I would be like, whoa Well, like is it and like I asked questions I'd be like is this like you have other stuff because just the vibrator a vibrator. That's weird if you have multiple It's clearly something that you like to it's a kink. I don't think that's where I think bro. Let me ask you something now

Let me ask you. Yeah, ask me if you I have a pair of Jordans. What do you think about me? You fucking have I don't have a pair of Jordans, right? Yeah. Oh cool. He's got a pair. All right I have 10 pairs of Jordans Okay, but women don't have a 40 vibrators. Some people do but if they have one That's not strange. It depends. I think it's a little I'm not saying women you asked if a man has one And it's like a fucking community, you know town pool. Well, people could sign up. That's the argument I think it's weird if it's one if he has multiple. I think it's less weird. What's multiple? Uh

More than two Three I think three is fine. So if he has a drawer of three vibrators Then you trust if they're the same then I'd be like, whoa domers. I'm dead now I might as well fucking call it quits But if it's like I have one that's like shaped, you know with like ribs The other one is like it's supposed to make you feel like you're getting eaten out Yes, the other one is like, you know, it expands like a butterfly or some shit like I don't I don't know clearly you could tell I don't have sex toys

I'm saying like if he had a variety Cool, but if it's just like one just fucking just just looks like a fucking like there's nothing to it There's no ribs wrinkles or fucking anything cool weird All right, I didn't hear I've never heard that other side of that argument It's always just been like you've heard this argument. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I've had this conversation before you called Some of that has up here at jordan's a normal person But you're like, oh, all right, whatever you call someone that has tan a sneaker head and you know that they pay

They fucking take care. No, it's not vibrators or sneakers for the pussy issue The issue is not whether they're into it Vibrators or sneakers for the button pussy. That's just the way it is. No that It is Bro, are you gonna tell me people don't fucking like oh shit. Do people vibrate butts? Yes, dude. I mean I there are butt vibrators like you wouldn't believe

Oh, they make them for s. I think that I think it's like they're like one size fits all for pussy, but everything No, but I I think like if you go buy a vibrator, it's not going to say exclusively for butts No, just say it vibrates and you can do what you want with it. You can put it on your nose and make yourself sneeze if you want That happens that happens to whom if you put a vibrator in your nose like this And just leave it there. You'll sneeze. So you've tested this well It doesn't have to be a vibrator. It could be anything that vibrates. I don't know if I believe you there Bro, you put anything that vibrates on your nose You will sneeze

That's not I'm just I'm just I don't think I look at if I look at light all sneeze But not fucking putting a dildo to my nose You don't have to put it in your nose. I didn't say in I said two Oh, you said in did I you said in I don't put a vibrator in my nose Messed up there. Forgive me. Yeah You're forgiven. I think it's a little tone deaf that Ed Sheeran has given giant penises to all his gay friends You think that these find out more about their personality. Do they fucking love espresso? Get him an espresso machine Well elton john, he's no stranger to the sex

Izzy talk about elton john's sex bro. We know that elton john elton john's fuck He's had a partner for like 40 years. Huh? He's had the same partner for years, hasn't he? Yeah, who's talking about that? Dude, he's fucking a thousand years old right now. Yeah, I'm talking about when he was young and spry You didn't see rocket man He had he was married to a woman that he didn't have sex with he probably had sex for her though Maybe once against his will. No, I think that No, I think that he's probably banged a bunch of women just for sport, you know elton john's real name Like the biggest glow-up from a real name to a stage name ever

Really, I never even think about that like people don't have real names Elton so his name's not elton john obviously and I'll do I'll do you one better Elton and john are not in his real name Is it like clarence? You're getting close. It's some stupid shit like that. Yeah, like theodore. No Like something you would name a teddy bear. Yes, like barnaby close. You're getting actually really close So it's one of those names. It's one of those teddy bear names. It's one of those shit names mr. Tumnus. No, that's that's that's a fun Yeah

I don't know. What is it give me a letter One letter the the letter the first letter are Rudolph randolph. No uh Rudy no, what is it reginald dwight Elton john's name is reginald dwight. Yep. Look it up. It sucks, dude. That's a that sucks. Yeah, that's awful Elton john's such a glow-up. That sounds like a company that makes Paper. Yeah, that's exactly what it sounds like reginald dwight. You know tom cruise is real name

That's not his name. No Damn tom cruise. That was a good pick. I'll say that. What's his name? Is it stupid and white? Yeah, I'm gonna look up other names now. Is it like is it like quarry or something? No, it's tom is in the first Oh, his name is tom something It's not cruise. Is he jewish? I don't know what he is. Why don't people change their name? They just think it's a stage name, babe Yeah, but like why what's the point?

So it sounds cooler than their actual name because no one wants to fucking be like and now to the stage reginald dwight I guess tom cruise. That's kind of cool. I'm not gonna lie What's his name? Tom tom maypother What not not so cool maypother. Yep Bruno mars real name I never even considered that his name wasn't Bruno mars. Yeah, me neither actually. He's like hawaiian, isn't he? I believe so and also like five foot two. Yeah. Well, so is tom cruise. Yeah. Tom maypother Bruno mars, uh, peter gene hernandez

peter gene Yikes, bro Yeah, peter gene. I'm dressed like Bruno mars right now Um, no No, you're not mars wears trying to see peter gene walkine phoenix his real name Hold on

His stage name is walkine phoenix. That's a pretty sick name, dude. Yeah, but like I feel like that his real name is walkine He has the last name that's different. Oh What bottom No, it's not. Yeah Walkine raphael bottom bottom his parents. You ever heard the story of him and his brother? He was raised in a sex cult Excuse me. You didn't walk in phoenix and his brother rip river phoenix Were raised in a sex cult What is the story they were raised?

I frankie in a sex cult. Gotcha. Is there any sort of detail there? Uh, do you need more outside of being raised in a sex cult? Yeah, so a story Something did he have sex at the age? I'm sure he saw a lot of sex at a very weird age. Yeah A sex well aren't all cults kind of sex Not all cults. There's the heavens gate. They weren't doing a lot of sex. They were just wearing turtlenecks and being fucking creeps I don't know about that. I feel I don't who the fuck is that you never heard of heavens gate No, that's a really good documentary on hbo max about them Well, I feel like all the other cults they have like a leader that's like, yeah, I must have 18 wives everyone's like, okay

No, this one your money heavens white heavens gate was uh, these people. I believe they started out in oregon And they convinced everyone that like aliens were coming to destroy the earth And they were only going to take the people that believed in them. So they were like, I am here to believe in glip glorp It's really fucking bro. You need to watch it. How do they get people, dude? How do they I would love a cult It's a cult of personality. I mean you think about it. Like the leaders are so fucking like you're so enthralled by everything they say Yeah, are you gonna tell me if the rock called you up right now? I was like, ah mahalo About what and he was just like listen, brother I can't do it. I know I'm sorry

But no, I don't think so and he was just like bro Like I need you to join me and my followers like we're gonna die like I'll pick you up tomorrow Like this guy's fucking nuts. No, you wouldn't do bro. If someone told me that You'd be like dwayne the rock johnson. Yeah, fuck. Yeah, I'd do it. No, I would Yes, you would you would be convinced by someone just being like, yo I don't think I would because I'm very strong willed more strong will than you Well, I think that you could definitely be convinced If geo called you up and was like

There he goes If geo called you up was like we need to stay in a van for a week and a half And not have sex the world's gonna end come through No, you did it Yeah, you did it. Well, I don't know about the not have sex part probably you did but I know about that part and it didn't happen. You didn't have sex with geo. No, I didn't you sure No, I was too afraid of getting eaten by a bear. Well, there you go That's because he convinced you that if you didn't join his cult the bears would come get you they can smell the fear in your butt

We're gonna move forward, okay That's all it is right there, but I think we can just kind of wrap it up there. Everybody happy halloween happy halloween favorite halloween candy go milk duds That's your favorite halloween candy. That's my favorite candy period. All right halloween candy like Hold on back up a little bit. Wait, hold on describe the scene. Hold on real quick. Hmm Since we're dressed it like this What are you gonna smack me? No, no, no Let's get this on the record. Yeah Candy corn is a good or bad

Joey Candy corn is fucking delicious. It is incredible. I fuck with it too. I love candy corn I love candy corn, but the regular candy corn now. You've gone too far now. You've gone too far. I like it But you're talking about it like it's crazy. I eat it, but I don't really like it. No candy corn is good I don't know where this fucking internet discourse came where people are like candy corn is garbage. It's hot penis. It sucks It's fucking incredible. That's what people say things that are no no no no It's good. You know, it's not good though a little too much The pumpkins are I don't like them. I don't like those pumpkins are a meal. They're a meal. They're a meal

They are a meal. They're like a snickers bar. My oldest brother loves the pumpkins. He's like, oh, where's the auto mix? I need a pumpkin. I'm like on a mix. Yeah, it's too much. He wants the ones that have the chocolate on top Yeah, bro. Fuck your brother. I I'm listen. I'm just saying well, wait Why did you say that? I know I said father. What are you saying? I said like fuck him not like fucking Why would you go in the office? Because you're because you're a pimp. Well, yeah, you're a pimp. That's what it is But I I like I like candy corn. I don't understand the discourse on candy corn. It's it's really good And it's perfect size like if it was like the size of the pumpkin too much I legitimately can't stop eating it though. I know I have to leave the room

I do too. It's it's pretty good. I open. All right, joe you go trick-or-treating Yeah, you got a bunch of stuff from a bunch of different houses. We used to kill it in a story back in the day Literally, we would get no exaggeration 30 pounds of candy. That's an exaggeration. Definitely not. No, we used to carry around pillow sacks 30 pounds is an exaggeration Frankie 30 fucking pounds bro. I was 30 pounds bro. It was 30 pounds Uh, you open it. Yeah The first thing you grab it doesn't mean it's your favorite candy, but it's the perfect for the halloween time A tootsie roll. Oh, yes. Yeah. Yes. Oddly. Oddly enough

You know what I'm nostalgic about around halloween because I've never seen them outside of halloween. What dots I was gonna say dots Why do I like dots? I don't they're not good on halloween. They are but they're good on halloween. They are they're not good But I eat them on halloween. They're very I like dots and they get stuck in my little everywhere everywhere You do have a little teeth. They get stuck everywhere They're they're they are real bad like a little box and you open it up and they're always stuck in there And they're stuck in there and there's only three. There's only three you have to like What's your favorite one? What's your favorite one? Obviously the orange. Yes, it's the orange one That's the only candy where I do like the orange the red one tastes like medicine the red one does and the green one

I throw out. Yeah, the green one's not good. I don't know that one's pretty good. Uh, uh, yeah The green one's ass, but listen, I'll tell you this November 1st. I don't want to see a dot for the rest of my life Well, you don't see a dot. Well good. They just aren't around. That's what I hope for also You know how I feel about anything like halloween like halloween cereal like the halloween fucking crunch berries Yeah, turn your milk green. Obviously sign me up and kill my parents. Yeah, exactly. That's exactly what I'm talking about Happy halloween. Also, I do I bro honestly like if we're just being normal little boys like skittles Well, we're not boys. I'm just saying like we're just I would know if you were a boy Okay

Skittles which candy where you're like no way. Oh butterfinger Yeah, what is that whoever likes butterfingers if you know someone likes butterfingers What even is it put a bullet in their fucking head. What is a butterfinger? Honestly, it's chocolate on the outside on the inside orange Orange it's like wafers, but it's like it's like crispy I don't know. I don't even know what the fuck that is, but I don't eat that shit. It's like sharp Also, I'll tell you what I don't reach for and I don't eat and I probably will just leave it there Snickers

Snickers are a meal, man. It's like not for me of those little square ones I don't uh, it's the number one is obviously trunks Number two milky way. Yeah number three Snickers. Yeah Number 12. Yeah three musketeers. I would eat a little Nugget of shit before I ate a three musketeers. I like three musketeers. I don't hate them, but literally anytime I swear to god not an exaggeration. We have a bowl of candy on our counter There's only three musketeers in there because no one wants to eat them I would like to talk to whoever makes the fucking bags of chocolate candy where it's like m&m's twix

Uh, you know, uh three musketeers Snickers and milky ways There's not enough fucking twix in there And that's the best one and you know it and you're fucking with us And I think that big chocolate is is it's a marketing. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm also gonna say this Okay for the bags that have like milk thuds and twizzlers and fucking butterfingers and skittles in one bag Let me ask you a quick question. Let me ask you. Those are not twizzlers. Those are not twizzlers I know twizzlers. Whatever and those are fucking knockoff twizzlers. Okay. Second of all, I'll talk like this

I'll do it. I swear I kind of like when they taste like each other a little bit. Ew you stupid freak. I was gonna say that's what I hate Oh, I kind of do it makes me feel like when like Something tastes like a little chocolatey and it's not supposed to be chocolatey Please stop doing that a little like you could tell that there's a hint like you could open it and eat it and be like Oh, this was fucking next door neighbors with skittles. Eww No, man, if I'm eating chocolate, I don't want fruit. I mean fruity. I mean, why not? I mean, I'm with you. I don't want it to be like, oh, I'm biting this and it's chocolate flavored

Like I want it to be like they were they were neighbors. You know what I mean? No, I don't like that Let me I know that we were gonna end but I don't care. Yeah, what? I need to know what you think about these Now you've talked about tootsie rolls I like tootsie rolls a lot and honestly the bigger the better The the ones that are like fucking fat like little shit. Yes. I love those like the long skinny ones great The ones that like come like in sections like you're not gonna eat the whole thing in one bite also Midgees

Let's take it easy with that. Hold on. Yeah, my question was gonna be if you if someone's giving out vanilla and blueberry tootsie rolls What do you do to their house? a Thank them and walk away. You're not gonna like this b Burn their house to the ground. You're not gonna like and find their family and burn theirs as well see Start a war frank. I like vanilla tootsie rolls

I don't mind them But if I get them, I'm insatiably angry. I'll tell you what I'll do If I'm going trick-or-treating And some old fuck Puts 13 cents and a bag of pretzels in my bag. Oh I'm coming back Back of vengeance back in the day This isn't an exaggeration or a joke. This is an admission of guilt

We kept notes of what houses gave out good and bad things and the ones that gave out bad The wrath was felt they got hit with so many eggs And so much shaving cream. Yeah, it's not like One year our my house got egg and I the first thing I did is I went downstairs and said you blame your mom You give it out. You blame your mom. You victim. What do you give it? Are you pretzeling the neighborhood because we can't have this you are a big victim blamer and I you know I honestly in this situation don't blame you Frankie. Guess what they had around my house Around your house where I live

what Whole candy bars They were even at whole candy bars whole candy bars, bro Wow miles last year rich. Hold on shit. I don't know how we didn't talk about this Last year we had a halloween little halloween party for like the neighborhood and our you know like miles was there I know what a party is. Yeah We went trick-or-treating he went around the block once And was like i'm done

Done And they were giving out full bro. I swear to god full twixes Full money out there full candy bars I couldn't believe it. I was blown away. I was like, what do you mean? You're done. We had to walk 10 miles Bro in order to be finished it literally I couldn't believe it. I was astonished and this kid loves candy and I I saw he didn't have the dog in him for halloween

And I was like Go inside you're punished. He's like for what? It's like give me your candy. You don't have the dog Go inside go inside go and you are not him. Yeah, you're not him Well Folks, what's your favorite halloween candy if you celebrate if you're one of those freaks like me God, I'm not god. Who am I again pope? And you think it's all paganistic and you don't want to summon demons in your house. Is that true? Uh, yeah, a lot of people believe that

that's weird, uh, but Regardless, let us know what your favorite halloween candy is what you'd be the most jazz about doesn't need to be your favorite candy But it's something that gets you pretty pumped about halloween. I have been father frank And you can find me at f alvarez 80 85 on twitter the frank alvarez on instagram A tiktok youtube and then you can check both of us out on the today show they part they plug this a little bit Oh, yeah, they did pretty sweet So, uh, but make sure I also didn't let you guys know about the patreon patreon.com slash the basement yard 12 000 patrons. We're gonna hire a

Just absolute masterpiece Makeup artist to do drag makeup for joey and I we're gonna do an episode in drag So check it out patreon.com slash the basement yard Yep, you guys go follow the show at the base me art on tiktok and instagram and that is all See you guys next time That's offensive is it I think so all right cut it out then no